#im out of my program now. and....
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#whew. this sucks#i.... hhh#well. im... sad.#and scared. and painful. and lonely.#just really running the whole gambit of shit right now.#and fuck I'm just so tired.#so so so so so tired.#everything keeps happening. Just. Over and over and over and over#i cannot get a break#i don't feel like I've truly rested in months#im out of my program now. and....#......i dunno. maybe my memory just fucking sucks. but i feel like im worse#i feel like i didn't even go.#three weeks of memory. down the drain.#like it didn't exist.#i cried a lot. I know that. Breakdowns constantly.#it's all gone though. I don't remember it#........gods you have no clue how.....petrifying that is.#........am i even alive?#Did i kill myself weeks ago and i just don't know it yet?#i feel so alone#im so tired.#....I'm so tired......#.............please let me rest...... im so so tired........#........when can i stop...?
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What if the Joker was blue and orange
#better call saul#bcs#jimmy mcgill#kim wexler#howard hamlin#chuck mcgill#fanart#i don't really like this but. whatever#gonna use another program from now on because im having issues with ibis#been obsessed with doing things a very particular way on ibis and it's both time consuming and not even worth it#and i can't break out of that habit so i think i just need something new#also yay character lineup#maybe gonna do another one with the rest of the main cast if i feel like it#i just had to draw these guys first because they're my favs and i prefer the lawyer part of bcs anyway#jimmy isn't exactly in line with the others but i can't really fix it because i arranged my layers in a pretty stupid way#so just pretend it's a metaphor or something#spent way too much time trying to make chuck's gut look right i feel like a freak
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Sunday might be drunk (or is it wonweek)
#today was so tiring <- went shopping#i got a new winter top tho and im excited to wear it out its soo cuute#i also finished applying to some programs#gotta start working on the assignments now 😄🔫#also my neck and shoulders hurt so bad someone should run a bulldozer over me#weltday#sunwelt#sunday hsr#welt hsr
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CHARLIE MAGNE from HAZBIN HOTEL (2019): Pilot - "That's Entertainment" ↳ "So, I've been thinking: Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through... redemption?"
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel edit#hazbin charlie#charlie magne#hazbin edit#requested#hazbin hotel pilot#that's entertainment#charlie#my gifs#god ain't she the cutest little thing!#not gonna lie i get a bit emotional seeing her do The Pose during ''wonderful fantastic new hotel''#it's the same pose she does in the S1 poster :')#okay actually im back here to say some things in the tags:#holy almighty LORD these gave me so much grief to color in a way i thought looked nice#specifically the one of her in the news chair. sorry i was NOT gonna let that hideous highlighter green color assault all your eyeballs.#did i lose nearly two hours of sleep getting it right because i still have no idea what i'm doing? yes. worth it? YES. ohh yes.#i liked the seafoam look so i made the cloud sequence match :] or at least tried to#there WAS supposed to be another one of her in the news room but i just hated how it kept turning out so i scrapped it.#coloring the main series was one thing to learn but the PILOT? never has it been so obvious to me just how much more bright and vibrant#the colors got during the progression of the world design. also. if by any chance one of those cool and experienced#gif makers happens to see these tags and wants a good laugh: i've been doing this for how many months now? and just last NIGHT figured out#how to use the fucking eraser in photoshop....... thing is... i also draw. i KNOW what program tools look like. i KNOW ppl draw in PS.#i'm just a really silly fuckin goose!! TEEHEE FUCKING HEE I GUESS!#so for months i've been like ''god i wish i could just erase this part from the layer'' and looking at the eraser tool and just being like#''nah it's probably different and weird i'll just stick to what i know'' -> said boo boo the FOOL#see i could be in the club but i'd rather be aggressively neurodivergent about the silly queer demon cartoon that altered my brain chemical
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first amv be nicies to me about it or else
#qktalks#new hobby found ! achievement get#there was a lyric at the very start of this song (that i cut out bc it was slow and i wanted it to be a bit crazier)#that says ''i can't seem to stay me'' which was sorta the origin of why i picked this one#so there ya go#the first half is a lil rough ngl.i recognize this and if u make fun of me ill cry right on ur person#i thought i hated editing but it turns out once u have a halfway decent editing program the process Doesn't make u wanna cry#i have another song in mind but im not sure there's rly enough footage of what i want for it ... hrrmm#mob psycho 100#mob psycho#mp100#shigeo kageyama#mp100 mob#mp100 shigeo#flashing#<- dunno if it's necessary but just to be sure#i do kinda like that amvs take way less time than most of my other hobbies#like art takes forever building anything in any game takes centuries writing can take a long time depending on the length#but u can kinda just whip up an amv in one sitting if u know what ur doing#i Didn't know what i was doing when making This so it took me a couple days but ! now i know the basics of the program so yay
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damn animation is pretty fun. wish cleanup didnt exist
#boarding and roughs are pretty fun! i like figuring out timing! hate hate hate hate doing cleanup. i hate linework. its so boring#also clip studio is giving me a run for my money today. why does copy pasting work like that for animation in this#im not bothering with downloading another program but god damn this is so jank#virgil arts#im not gonna finish this. i know im not. i do not have that kind of art stamina right now theres a reason i dont usually animate#i just had The Itch and wanted to see what this guys weapon woud look like in motion#still images only go so far to get the idea outta my head
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#kingdom hearts#kh#aqua#terra#ventus#im making graphics now wooo!!#i learned this program 3 days ago and made this!! very intuitive to use and so happy with how these turned out#if this gets enough notes i'll definitely try and do more graphics in the future#i tried to keep it simple for my first time (aside from the teeth on rainfell. oh my god pure hell)#thank you to beloved bestie rapidlychangingfandoms for listening to me complain the entire way through making this dfkhdfkjh#really hoping this doesnt flop!!
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Hai!! Interested in your Life Series(?) x Genshin??? I'm all here for it!! Whatcha got thought out so far?
Who has what visions?
Where would the visions be? Like, hanging from the hip, or necklace, off of a bag, etc.
Anything else you might wanna share?
This is such a good question I hadn't thought too much about that!
Overall only a few of the placements are important to the story, which are Jimmy's, Lizzie's, and Pearl's.
Jimmy's vision appeared on his back between his wings, litterally out of his reach, he didn't even realize it was there until Lizzie pointed it out. While he was ecstatic to have earned his vision, he couldn't sincerely share in Lizzies celebration, because he had no excuses now, he had to get better, he had to get stronger (Lizzie could have died, she almost did, the only reason she's not is because I got lucky, or the Tsaritsa took pity on me, it dosen't matter, I can't waist this gift) the late nights training in the courtyard, his claymore swinging in his shaking hands, it's weight wreaking havoc on his shoulders, in the morning he'll laugh and say it's from the bad fall they took those days ago, Lizzie will laugh too because he's never lied to her.
Lizzie got her vision long before she joined the fatui, long before she met Etho, when she was just a child being told the stories of humanities evil, of Tevat's sins and the destruction of a holy nation, of her purpose, her mission, and when she would be reminded the the only thing she could trust in Tevat was the sword on her hip. A vision sat where her sheath used to be after a day of training, there were no explosions or fanfare, it was a normal afternoon. She left to join the fatui the next morning.
#im vibrating with excitement#thank you for the ask! now im gonna go plan out the rest of the vision placements#ill talk about Pearl once i get the time to sit and open my Twine program <- (suffering through midterms)#also sorry for taking decades to respond.#ive been so busy. but you guys being interested makes me so so so happy :)))#rb#LSXGAU#hermitcraft#minecraft#cactus talks#hermitblr#jimmy solidarity#ld shadowlady#ldshadowlady#lizzie ldshadowlady#solidaritygaming#life series#genshin impact#i didnt draw the visions btw i found some pngs on google 😭#genshin
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sanji sketch while i try to fix my lineart brush. thumbs up emoji
#im STRUGGLING out here apparently i can convert my photoshop brushes to CSP but#when i swapped art programs it didnt work so i didnt stress it#but now i dont have a lineart brush AUUUUUHGHHGHHH#and now i cant find my phgotoshop brushes. pray for me#awanywayy. fem sanji propaganda
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Femslash February Day 8: Moon - Sunzy
First time trying Krita :D Felt quite nostalgic though, has been ages since I used my trusty Wacom Intuos too
#femslash february 2023#femslash february#my art#Fanart#my little pony g5#My Little Pony#sunny starscout#izzy moonbow#sunny x izzy#sunzy#mlp g5#mlp fanart#no but seriously this was honestly a pain to make and quite not a smart plan since Im sooo busy#like I dont know how much longer Ill be able to keep up with this :')))#I did have fun working on it though just not the best timing to try out a new program#it took a long time to make it look semi decent and then I still feel its a bit amateurish but at least in a charming way now?#It feels a bit storybooklike to me#anyways at least hope you enjoy!!! Theyre my OTP <33333
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ive never meant to neglect the 2017 comics i just never knew how to draw any of the lil guys in it… until now. my evilness has peaked… a bit
+ sum bonus six’s, bc i need to practice drawing her hood, it’s so hard to draw. why bandai namco…
#also idk if it’s very obvious but i changed art programs because procreate was beginning to get less fun to use#ermm anyway#my fav of the 2017 comic antags would be the north wind#they’re very silly… to me#im glad ferryman has gotten more of a spotlight bc of TSON#ALSO MIRROR MANS POSSIBLE CONNECTION TO HUNTER???#IDK IF THE THEORYS OUTDATED BY NOW BUT ITS GIVING ME SO MANY THOUGHTS#IM SO OKAY ABOUT THIS ((LIE))#tbh the 2017 comics’ artstyle is literally one of my favs out of everything LN has to offer#the colours are so appealing#i wish it wasn’t cancelled. it had a lot of potential#little nightmares#little nightmares fanart#ln north wind#ln mirror man#ln ferryman#ln six
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guys once the second week of august comes around, you’re gonna see the most active era of wttcsms yet (my final semester of grad school finally ends!)
#crazy to think im now 21 and living alone and will have my masters#and when i first started tumblr i was 16 and first starting my bachelor’s program and couldn’t fathom moving out#time flies by
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my first attempt at krita and. it turns out i cant draw felines from memory
#i meant krita the program but i guess his name is krita now LOL#art#furry#it is. not immediately intuitive i will say. and the ui setup is not agreeing with me (how i put my hand on the tablet)#it keeps. clicking things. maybe i just need to move it around (if u can do that??)#also i suspect this may be an issue with the tablet and not the program. but it did freeze. ghdfgdf#the image u see before u.... was worked off a screenshot i took#needless to say. back on my 'saving every 2 seconds' shit#can u adjust how the brushes blend and shit...#but tbh im pretty happy with trying out krita for a while over paying for clip.#i could always just. pay for clip later if it turns out i prefer it on tablet LMAO#THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS LIKE. WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE A FUCKING SEAL!#even my sis agreed 😭😭😭😭
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i love my husband but im gonna murder him if he defers moving out of nyc for one more goddamn month
#we were supposed to leave in AUGUST!!!!#it is DECEMBER!!!#our last move date was jan 25 2025 and guess who wants to stay in nyc until the end of feb?? JUST GUESS#HINT: ITS NOT ME!!!#im so angry#why can't we get out of here#this is an expensive hellhole#our management co doesn't do shit and we keep getting pests and they won't do repairs#and there's no fucking jobs and groceries cost an arm and a leg and we can't afford to pay my medical bills cause of all the money#we have to spend on rent and food and we can't travel and we can't raise a baby here- we can't even get a second cat!- and i just#i'm done#i'm so done#he keeps saying how excited he is to finish his phd and move on with our lives and here we are. still not done with the phd almost SEVEN#years into a FIVE YEAR PROGRAM#not moving on with our lives in the slightest#now his mother wants to pay our rent because his school isn't gonna pay him anymore to do his phd since it's gone on so long#and i dont WANT her charity i dont WANT to rely on her for ANYTHING#especially because of how she's treated me in the past#but i have no choice if we're staying here another month or two!! fuck!!#i hate it here i hate it im gonna walk into the fucking ocean
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Wverytime I sit down at a computer to make music I get so scared
#i like siting down with a guitar and writing music but the daw is still so scary to me and i dont know how to make it less scary#its like i dont know where to start#i understand music theory i can write chord progressions i can write melodies but arranging feels so daunting#like just trying to pick keyboard voices and stuff im like overwhelmed and then its like i just dont even know where to start#i think i need to do more covers to practice arranging because trying to do it with my own songs im just like i have NO IDEA#i do think that trying to recreate arrangements of other songs I like will help me but also just idk#i really want to get better at writing at the piano but i find it really hard#rn i write almost all my songs on the guitar then i guess what i have to do is try to think of like what style i want it to have#and sort of try to create a map like probably literally on paper and then try to go in and sort of do it but god its so hard i dont know#it feels so so daunting#even trying to make silly little stuff with just like some synths is really hard for me right now its so out of my comfort zone and AUGH id#its frustrating im scared of the computer but i also very much do not want to be an acoustic singer songwriter but thats all i can do#because all i can do is play fucking guitar!!!! and its just so frustrating#technically im like with a midi controller i should be able to do whatever program drums write little synth lines etc i dont have to like#know how to play piano and yet whenever i try to do it i just get so overwhelmed and freaked out with how many possibilities there are#that i just . cannnnnt#AHGHHHHHHHHHHHH im so im in such a bad mood right ow#ive had such a horrible night honestly#i think i will just go engage in fixation for comfort and then go to bed sigh#i dont know what to do to improve at making music in the daw i guess ill just maybe try again this weekend to take another crack at it#god its just so frustrating that i only started writing songs 2 years ago and have only learned to use a daw in the last 3 months i WISH#that i was one of these teenagers who spent all my time writing silly songs and playing around with a midi controller but i just didnt#because i was scared!!!!!!!#playing the guitar and singing has always been like the only thing that felt safe cos i felt if i tried to actually write and arrange songs#by myself i would fail so now i just feel so frustrated because i dont feel like a real musician and i feel like im starting too late#AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH whatever sorry for using the tags of this post as my diary but#i am frustrated!!!!
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#ky speaks#not me starting a pre-med program at the ripe old age of 30#this is literally my last hail mary at having a viable career#i haven't been in school in 8 years#and school wasn't the easiest for me#and now im literally doing MED SCHOOL#to say im nervous would be an understatement#there's a very high likelihood i flunk out and go back to working min wage shit jobs the rest of my life
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