#im out of my program now. and....
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#whew. this sucks#i.... hhh#well. im... sad.#and scared. and painful. and lonely.#just really running the whole gambit of shit right now.#and fuck I'm just so tired.#so so so so so tired.#everything keeps happening. Just. Over and over and over and over#i cannot get a break#i don't feel like I've truly rested in months#im out of my program now. and....#......i dunno. maybe my memory just fucking sucks. but i feel like im worse#i feel like i didn't even go.#three weeks of memory. down the drain.#like it didn't exist.#i cried a lot. I know that. Breakdowns constantly.#it's all gone though. I don't remember it#........gods you have no clue how.....petrifying that is.#........am i even alive?#Did i kill myself weeks ago and i just don't know it yet?#i feel so alone#im so tired.#....I'm so tired......#.............please let me rest...... im so so tired........#........when can i stop...?
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patience being tested. being forced by a bizarre unfortunate situation to adhere to university requirement technicality by taking this simple basic elementary "introduction to environmental history" class.
this class is from facilitators/program which do, like, "history of the American frontier" or "history of fishing and hunting" and still basically subscribe to that old-school twentieth-century idealization and celebration of characters like Teddy Roosevelt and reverence for a mythical arc-of-history-bent-towards-justice narrative of the often-clumsy but ultimately-benevolent US federal government and its mission to "save nature" through the miracle of "sustained yield," while heroic federal land management agencies and "heritage" institutions lead to way, staffed by exceptional individuals (appeals to nostalgia for the frontier and an imagined landscape of the American West; ego-stroking appeals to flattering self-image that center the environmentalist or academic). where they invoke, y'know, ideas like "ecology is important because don't you enjoy cross-country skiing in The Woods with your niece and nephew? don't you like hunting and fishing?" which makes it feel like a time capsule of appeals and discourses from the 1970s. and it invokes concept of "untouched wilderness" (while eliding scale of historical Indigenous environmental relationships and current ongoing colonial violence/extractivism). but just ever-so-slightly updated with a little bit of chic twenty-first-century flair like a superficial land acknowledgement or a reference to "labor histories" or "history from below," which is extra aggravating when the old ideologies/institutions are still in power but they're muddying the water and diluting the language/frameworks (it's been strange, watching words like "multispecies" and "Anthropocene" over the years slowly but surely show-up on the posters, fliers, course descriptions, by now even appearing adjacent to the agri-business and resource extraction feeder programs, like a recuperation or appropriation.) even from a humanities angle, it's still, they're talking at me like "You probably didn't know this, but environmental history is actually pretty entangled with political and social events. In fact, we can synthesize sources and glean environmental info from wacky places like workers' rolls in factories, ship's logs, and poetry from the era." and i'm nodding like YEP.
the first homework assignment is respond to this: "Define and describe 'the Anthropocene'. Do you think 'the Anthropocene' is a useful concept? Why or why not?" Respond in 300 words.
so for fun, right now in class, going to see how fast i can pull up discussion of Anthropocene-as-concept solely from my old posts on this microblogging site.
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ok, found some
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I think that the danger in any universal narrative or epoch or principle is exactly that it can itself become a colonizing force. [...] I’m suspicious of the Anthropocene as concept for the very reason that it subsumes so many peoples, nations, histories, geographies, political orders. For that reason, I think ideas like the Anthropocene can be a useful short-hand for a cluster of tangible things going on with the Earth at the moment, but we have to be very careful about how fluid and dynamic ideas become concretized into hegemonic principles in the hands of researchers, policymakers, and politicians. There’s so much diversity in histories and experiences and environmental realities even between relatively linked geographies here in Canada [...]. Imagine what happens when we try to do that on a global scale - and a lot of euro-western Anthropocene, climate change and resilience research risks doing that - eliding local specificities and appropriating knowledge to serve a broader euro-western narrative without attending to the inherent colonial and imperial realities of science and policy processes, or even attending to the ways that colonial capitalist expansion has created these environmental crises to begin with. While we, as a collective humanity, are struggling with the realities of the Anthropocene, it is dangerous to erase the specific histories, power-relations, political orders that created the crisis to begin with. So, I’m glad that a robust critique of the Anthropocene as a concept is emerging.
Text by: Words of Zoe Todd, as interviewed and transcribed by Caroline Picard. “The Future is Elastic (But it Depends): An Interview with Zoe Todd.” 23 August 2016.
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The Great Acceleration is the latest in a series of human-driven planetary changes that constitute what a rising chorus of scientists, social scientists, and humanists have labeled the Anthropocene - a new Age of Humans. [...] But what the Anthropocene label masks, and what the litany of graphs documenting the Great Acceleration hide, is a history of racial oppression and violence, along with wealth inequality, that has built and sustained engines of economic growth and consumption over the last four centuries. [...] The plantation, Sidney Mintz long ago observed, was a “synthesis of field and factory,” an agro-industrial system of enterprise [...]. Plantation legacies, along with accompanying strategies of survival and resistance, dwell in the racialized geographies of the United States’ and Brazil’s prison systems. They surface in the inequitable toxic burdens experienced by impoverished communities of color in places like Cancer Alley, an industrial corridor of petrochemical plants running along the Mississippi River from New Orleans to Baton Rouge, where cotton was once king. And they appear in patterns of foreign direct investment and debt servitude that structure many land deals in the Caribbean, Brazil, and sub-Saharan Africa [...]. [C]limatologists and global change scientists from the University of London, propose instead 1610 as a date for the golden spike of the Anthropocene. The date marked a detectable global dip in carbon dioxide concentrations, precipitated, they argue, by the death of nearly 50 million indigenous human inhabitants [...]. The degradation of soils in the tobacco and cotton-growing regions in the American South, or in the sugarcane growing fields of many Caribbean islands, for example, was a consequence of an economic and social system that inflicted violence upon the land and the people enslaved to work it. Such violent histories are not so readily evident in genealogies that date the Anthropocene’s emergence to the Neolithic Revolution 12,000 years ago, the onset of Europe’s industrial revolution circa 1800, or the Trinity nuclear test of 1945. Sugarcane plantations were already prevalent throughout the Mediterranean basin during the late middle ages. But it was during the early modern era, and specifically in the Caribbean, where the intersection of emerging proto-capitalist economic models based on migratory forced labor (first indentured servitude, and later slavery), intensive land usage, globalized commerce, and colonial regimes sustained on the basis of relentless racialized violence, gave rise to the transformative models of plantations that reshaped the lives and livelihoods of human and non-human beings on a planetary scale. [...] We might, following the lead of science studies scholar Donna Haraway and anthropologist Anna Tsing, more aptly designate this era the Plantationocene. [...] It is also an invitation to see, in the words of geographer Laura Pulido, “the Anthropocene as a racial process,” one that has and will continue to produce “racially uneven vulnerability and death." [...] And how have such material transformations sustained global flows of knowledge and capital that continue to reproduce the plantation in enduring ways?
Text by: Sophie Sapp Moore, Monique Allewaert, Pablo F. Gomez, and Gregg Mitman. "Plantation Legacies." Edge Effects. 22 January 2019. Updated 15 May 2021. [Bold emphasis added by me.]
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Geologists and other scientists will fight over [the definition of the beginning start-date of the Anthropocene] in scientific language, seeking traces of carbon dioxide that index the worst offenses of European empire which rent and violated the flesh, bodies, and governance structures of Indigenous and other sovereign peoples in the name of gold, lumber, trade, land, and power. [...] The stories we tell about the origins of the Anthropocene implicate how we understand the relations we have with our surrounds. In other words, the naming of the Anthropocene epoch and its start date have implications not just for how we understand the world, but this understanding will have material consequences, consequences that affect body and land.
Text by: Heather Davis and Zoe Todd. On the Importance of a Date, or Decolonizing the Anthropocene. ACME An International Journal for Critical Geographies. December 2017. [Bold emphasis added by me.]
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From Aime and Suzanne Cesaire, C. L. R. James, Claudia Jones, Eduoard Glissant, through Sylvia Wynter, Christina Sharpe, and so many others, critical anticolonial and race theory has been written from the specific histories that marked the Black Atlantic. [...] Glissant also reminds us, secondly, of how cunning the absorptive powers of [...] liberal capitalism are - how quickly specific relations are remade as relations-erasing universal abstractions. [...] This absorptive, relations-erasing universalism is especially apparent in some contemporary discourses of […] liberalism and climate collapse - what some call the Anthropocene - especially those that anchor the crisis in a general Human calamity which, as Sylvia Wynter has noted, is merely the name of an overdetermined and specific [White] European man. […] [T]he condition of creating this new common European world was the destruction of a multitude of existing black and brown worlds. The tsunami of colonialism was not seen as affecting humanity, but [...] these specific people. They were specific - what happened to them may have been necessary, regrettable, intentional, accidental - but it is always them. It is only when these ancestral histories became present for some, for those who had long benefitted from the dispossession [...], that suddenly the problem is all of us, as human catastrophe.
Text by: Elizabeth Povinelli. “The Ancestral Present of Oceanic Illusions: Connected and Differentiated in Late Toxic Liberalism.” e-flux Journal Issue #112. October 2020.
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The narrative arc [of White "liberal humanism"] [...] is often told as a kind of European coming-of-age story. […] The Anthropocene discourse follows the same coming-of-age [...] script, searching for a material origin story that would explain the newly identified trajectory of the Anthropos […]. Sylvia Wynter, W.E.B. DuBois, and Achille Mbembe all showed how that genealogy of [White subjecthood] was [...] articulated through sixteenth- through nineteenth-century [historiographies and discourses] in the context of colonialism, [...] as well as forming the material praxis of their rearrangement (through mining, ecological rearrangements and extractions, and forms of geologic displacements such as plantations, dams, fertilizers, crops, and introduction of “alien” animals). […] As Wynter (2000) commented, “The degradation of concrete humans, that was/is the price of empire, of the kind of [Eurocentric epistemology] that underlies it” (154).
Text by: Kathryn Yusoff. “The Inhumanities.” Annals of the American Association of Geographers, Volume 11, Issue 3. November 2020.
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As Yarimar Bonilla suggests in regard to post-Irma-and-Maria Puerto Rico, “vulnerability is not simply a product of natural conditions; it is a political state and a colonial condition.” Many in the Caribbean therefore speak about the coloniality of disaster, and the unnaturalness of these “natural” disasters [...]. Others describe this temporality by shifting [...] toward an idea of the Plantationocene [...]. As Moore and her colleagues write, “Plantation worlds, both past and present, offer a powerful reminder that environmental problems cannot be decoupled from histories of colonialism, capitalism, and racism that have made some human beings more vulnerable [...].” [W]e see that contemporary uneven socioecologies associated with the rise of the industrial world ["the Anthropocene"] are based [...] also on the racialized denial and foreshortening of life for the sacrificial majority of black, brown, and Indigenous people and their relegation to the “sacrifice zones” of extractive industry. [...] [A]ny appropriate response to the contemporary climate emergency must first appreciate its foundations in the past history of the violent, coercive, transatlantic system of plantation slavery; in the present global uneven development, antiblackness, and border regimes that shape human vulnerability [...] that continues to influence who has access to resources, safety, and preferable ecologies [...] and who will be relegated to the “plantation archipelagoes” (as Sylvia Wynter called them) [...].
Text by: Mimi Sheller. “Thinking Beyond Coloniality: Toward Radical Caribbean Futures.” Small Axe (2021), 25 (2 (65)), pages 169-170. Published 1 July 2021. [Bold emphasis added by me.]
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Indigenous genocide and removal from land and enslavement are prerequisites for power becoming operationalized in premodernity [...]; it was/is a means to operationalize extraction (therefore race should be considered as foundational rather than as periphery to the production of those structures and of global space). [...] Wynter suggests that we […] consider 1452 as the beginning of the New World, as African slaves are put to work on the first plantations on the Portuguese island of Madeira, initiating the “sugar-slave” complex - a massive replantation of ecologies and forced relocation of people […]. Wynter argues that the invention of the figure of Man in 1492 as the Portuguese [and Spanish] travel to the Americas instigates at the same time “a refiguring of humanness” in the idea of race. [...] The natal moment of the 1800 Industrial Revolution, […] [apparently] locates Anthropocene origination in […] the "new" metabolisms of technology and matter enabled by the combination of fossil fuels, new engines, and the world as market. […] The racialization of epistemologies of life and nonlife is important to note here […]. While [this industrialization in the nineteenth century] […] undoubtedly transformed the atmosphere with […] coal, the creation of another kind of weather had already established its salient forms in the mine and on the plantation. Paying attention to the prehistory of capital and its bodily labor, both within coal cultures and on plantations that literally put “sugar in the bowl” (as Nina Simone sings) […]. The new modes of material accumulation and production in the Industrial Revolution are relational to and dependent on their preproductive forms in slavery […]. In 1833, Parliament finally abolished slavery in the British Caribbean, and the taxpayer payout of £20 million in “compensation” [paid by the government to slave owners for their lost "property"] built the material, geophysical (railways, mines, factories), and imperial infrastructures of Britain and its colonial enterprises and empire. [...] A significant proportion of funds were invested in the railway system connecting London and Birmingham (home of cotton production and […] manufacturing for plantations), Cambridge and Oxford, and Wales and the Midlands (for coal). Insurance companies flourished [...]. The slave-sugar-coal nexus both substantially enriched Britain and made it possible for it to transition into a colonial industrialized power […]. The slave trade […] fashioned the economic conditions (and institutions, such as the insurance and finance industries) for industrialization.
Text by: Kathryn Yusoff. "White Utopia/Black Inferno: Life on a Geologic Spike". e-flux Journal Issue #97. February 2019. [Bold emphasis added by me.]
#sorry for being mean#instructor makes podcasts about cowboys HELP ME#and he recently won a New Business award for his startup magazine covering Democrat party politics in local area HELP#so hes constantly performing this like dance between new hip beerfest winebar coolness and oldfashioned masculinity#but hes in charge of the certificate program so i have to just shut up and keep my head down for approximately one year#his email address is almost identical to mine and invokes enviro history terms but i made mine long before when i was ten years old#so i could log in to fieldherpforum dot com to talk about enviro history of distribution range changes in local reptiles and amphibians#sir if you read my blog then i apologize ive had a long year#and i cant do anything to escape i am disabled i am constantly sick im working fulltime i have NO family i have NO resources#i took all of this schools graduate level enviro history courses and seminars years ago and ran the geography and enviro hist club#but then left in final semester because sudden hospitalization and crippled and disabled which led to homelessness#which means that as far as any profession or school is concerned im nobody im a retail employee#i was doing conference paper revisions while sleeping on concrete vomiting walking around on my cane to find outdoor wifi#and im not kidding the MONTH i got back into a house and was like ok going back to finish the semester the school had#put my whole degree program and department in moratorium from lack of funding#and so required starting some stuff from scratch and now feel like a hostage with debt or worsening health that could pounce any moment#to even get back in current program i was working sixteen hours a day to pay old library fines and had to delicately back out of workplace#where manager was straight up violently physically abusive to her vulnerable employees and threatened retaliation#like an emotional torturer the likes of which i thought existed only in cartoons#and the week i filed for student aid a massive storm had knocked out electricity for days and i was clearing fallen tree debris#and then sitting in the dark in my room between job shifts no music no phone no food with my fingers crossed and i consider it a miracle#sorry dont mean to dramatize or draw attention to myself#so actually im happy you and i are alive
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Sunday might be drunk (or is it wonweek)
#today was so tiring <- went shopping#i got a new winter top tho and im excited to wear it out its soo cuute#i also finished applying to some programs#gotta start working on the assignments now 😄🔫#also my neck and shoulders hurt so bad someone should run a bulldozer over me#weltday#sunwelt#sunday hsr#welt hsr
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What if the Joker was blue and orange
#better call saul#bcs#jimmy mcgill#kim wexler#howard hamlin#chuck mcgill#fanart#i don't really like this but. whatever#gonna use another program from now on because im having issues with ibis#been obsessed with doing things a very particular way on ibis and it's both time consuming and not even worth it#and i can't break out of that habit so i think i just need something new#also yay character lineup#maybe gonna do another one with the rest of the main cast if i feel like it#i just had to draw these guys first because they're my favs and i prefer the lawyer part of bcs anyway#jimmy isn't exactly in line with the others but i can't really fix it because i arranged my layers in a pretty stupid way#so just pretend it's a metaphor or something#spent way too much time trying to make chuck's gut look right i feel like a freak
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CHARLIE MAGNE from HAZBIN HOTEL (2019): Pilot - "That's Entertainment" ↳ "So, I've been thinking: Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through... redemption?"
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel edit#hazbin charlie#charlie magne#hazbin edit#requested#hazbin hotel pilot#that's entertainment#charlie#my gifs#god ain't she the cutest little thing!#not gonna lie i get a bit emotional seeing her do The Pose during ''wonderful fantastic new hotel''#it's the same pose she does in the S1 poster :')#okay actually im back here to say some things in the tags:#holy almighty LORD these gave me so much grief to color in a way i thought looked nice#specifically the one of her in the news chair. sorry i was NOT gonna let that hideous highlighter green color assault all your eyeballs.#did i lose nearly two hours of sleep getting it right because i still have no idea what i'm doing? yes. worth it? YES. ohh yes.#i liked the seafoam look so i made the cloud sequence match :] or at least tried to#there WAS supposed to be another one of her in the news room but i just hated how it kept turning out so i scrapped it.#coloring the main series was one thing to learn but the PILOT? never has it been so obvious to me just how much more bright and vibrant#the colors got during the progression of the world design. also. if by any chance one of those cool and experienced#gif makers happens to see these tags and wants a good laugh: i've been doing this for how many months now? and just last NIGHT figured out#how to use the fucking eraser in photoshop....... thing is... i also draw. i KNOW what program tools look like. i KNOW ppl draw in PS.#i'm just a really silly fuckin goose!! TEEHEE FUCKING HEE I GUESS!#so for months i've been like ''god i wish i could just erase this part from the layer'' and looking at the eraser tool and just being like#''nah it's probably different and weird i'll just stick to what i know'' -> said boo boo the FOOL#see i could be in the club but i'd rather be aggressively neurodivergent about the silly queer demon cartoon that altered my brain chemical
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i'm sure he's fine he'll walk it—nvm.
#posting no art in several months and then posting two days in a row?#its more likely than you think#no but seriously i needed a quick palate cleanser after the absolute nightmare that was my nines tarot card#after being convinced by multiple parties to try a new program#yeah turns out the issue was the program#im a firealpaca girlie now#dbh#detroit become human#dbh nines#dbh rk900#dbh fanart#detroit become human rk900#rk900#rk900 nines#tw: android gore
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first amv be nicies to me about it or else
#qktalks#new hobby found ! achievement get#there was a lyric at the very start of this song (that i cut out bc it was slow and i wanted it to be a bit crazier)#that says ''i can't seem to stay me'' which was sorta the origin of why i picked this one#so there ya go#the first half is a lil rough ngl.i recognize this and if u make fun of me ill cry right on ur person#i thought i hated editing but it turns out once u have a halfway decent editing program the process Doesn't make u wanna cry#i have another song in mind but im not sure there's rly enough footage of what i want for it ... hrrmm#mob psycho 100#mob psycho#mp100#shigeo kageyama#mp100 mob#mp100 shigeo#flashing#<- dunno if it's necessary but just to be sure#i do kinda like that amvs take way less time than most of my other hobbies#like art takes forever building anything in any game takes centuries writing can take a long time depending on the length#but u can kinda just whip up an amv in one sitting if u know what ur doing#i Didn't know what i was doing when making This so it took me a couple days but ! now i know the basics of the program so yay
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damn animation is pretty fun. wish cleanup didnt exist
#boarding and roughs are pretty fun! i like figuring out timing! hate hate hate hate doing cleanup. i hate linework. its so boring#also clip studio is giving me a run for my money today. why does copy pasting work like that for animation in this#im not bothering with downloading another program but god damn this is so jank#virgil arts#im not gonna finish this. i know im not. i do not have that kind of art stamina right now theres a reason i dont usually animate#i just had The Itch and wanted to see what this guys weapon woud look like in motion#still images only go so far to get the idea outta my head
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#kingdom hearts#kh#aqua#terra#ventus#im making graphics now wooo!!#i learned this program 3 days ago and made this!! very intuitive to use and so happy with how these turned out#if this gets enough notes i'll definitely try and do more graphics in the future#i tried to keep it simple for my first time (aside from the teeth on rainfell. oh my god pure hell)#thank you to beloved bestie rapidlychangingfandoms for listening to me complain the entire way through making this dfkhdfkjh#really hoping this doesnt flop!!
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Hai!! Interested in your Life Series(?) x Genshin??? I'm all here for it!! Whatcha got thought out so far?
Who has what visions?
Where would the visions be? Like, hanging from the hip, or necklace, off of a bag, etc.
Anything else you might wanna share?
This is such a good question I hadn't thought too much about that!
Overall only a few of the placements are important to the story, which are Jimmy's, Lizzie's, and Pearl's.
Jimmy's vision appeared on his back between his wings, litterally out of his reach, he didn't even realize it was there until Lizzie pointed it out. While he was ecstatic to have earned his vision, he couldn't sincerely share in Lizzies celebration, because he had no excuses now, he had to get better, he had to get stronger (Lizzie could have died, she almost did, the only reason she's not is because I got lucky, or the Tsaritsa took pity on me, it dosen't matter, I can't waist this gift) the late nights training in the courtyard, his claymore swinging in his shaking hands, it's weight wreaking havoc on his shoulders, in the morning he'll laugh and say it's from the bad fall they took those days ago, Lizzie will laugh too because he's never lied to her.
Lizzie got her vision long before she joined the fatui, long before she met Etho, when she was just a child being told the stories of humanities evil, of Tevat's sins and the destruction of a holy nation, of her purpose, her mission, and when she would be reminded the the only thing she could trust in Tevat was the sword on her hip. A vision sat where her sheath used to be after a day of training, there were no explosions or fanfare, it was a normal afternoon. She left to join the fatui the next morning.
#im vibrating with excitement#thank you for the ask! now im gonna go plan out the rest of the vision placements#ill talk about Pearl once i get the time to sit and open my Twine program <- (suffering through midterms)#also sorry for taking decades to respond.#ive been so busy. but you guys being interested makes me so so so happy :)))#rb#LSXGAU#hermitcraft#minecraft#cactus talks#hermitblr#jimmy solidarity#ld shadowlady#ldshadowlady#lizzie ldshadowlady#solidaritygaming#life series#genshin impact#i didnt draw the visions btw i found some pngs on google 😭#genshin
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sanji sketch while i try to fix my lineart brush. thumbs up emoji
#im STRUGGLING out here apparently i can convert my photoshop brushes to CSP but#when i swapped art programs it didnt work so i didnt stress it#but now i dont have a lineart brush AUUUUUHGHHGHHH#and now i cant find my phgotoshop brushes. pray for me#awanywayy. fem sanji propaganda
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ive never meant to neglect the 2017 comics i just never knew how to draw any of the lil guys in it… until now. my evilness has peaked… a bit
+ sum bonus six’s, bc i need to practice drawing her hood, it’s so hard to draw. why bandai namco…
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#also idk if it’s very obvious but i changed art programs because procreate was beginning to get less fun to use#ermm anyway#my fav of the 2017 comic antags would be the north wind#they’re very silly… to me#im glad ferryman has gotten more of a spotlight bc of TSON#ALSO MIRROR MANS POSSIBLE CONNECTION TO HUNTER???#IDK IF THE THEORYS OUTDATED BY NOW BUT ITS GIVING ME SO MANY THOUGHTS#IM SO OKAY ABOUT THIS ((LIE))#tbh the 2017 comics’ artstyle is literally one of my favs out of everything LN has to offer#the colours are so appealing#i wish it wasn’t cancelled. it had a lot of potential#little nightmares#little nightmares fanart#ln north wind#ln mirror man#ln ferryman#ln six
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guys once the second week of august comes around, you’re gonna see the most active era of wttcsms yet (my final semester of grad school finally ends!)
#crazy to think im now 21 and living alone and will have my masters#and when i first started tumblr i was 16 and first starting my bachelor’s program and couldn’t fathom moving out#time flies by
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my first attempt at krita and. it turns out i cant draw felines from memory
#i meant krita the program but i guess his name is krita now LOL#art#furry#it is. not immediately intuitive i will say. and the ui setup is not agreeing with me (how i put my hand on the tablet)#it keeps. clicking things. maybe i just need to move it around (if u can do that??)#also i suspect this may be an issue with the tablet and not the program. but it did freeze. ghdfgdf#the image u see before u.... was worked off a screenshot i took#needless to say. back on my 'saving every 2 seconds' shit#can u adjust how the brushes blend and shit...#but tbh im pretty happy with trying out krita for a while over paying for clip.#i could always just. pay for clip later if it turns out i prefer it on tablet LMAO#THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS LIKE. WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE A FUCKING SEAL!#even my sis agreed 😭😭😭😭
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9082fb1ab499845b23caabb671b7ce05/5dc9c15badc970be-3c/s540x810/9ebcfd6f7ee5274eea38dfaff5b5e68930e842e3.jpg)
The early bird.
#SORRY YALL. i had chores to do. therapy went very well! :3#I WAS GONNA POST THIS AND CLAYHILL DOODLES!!!.#but my art program krtia and my computer both wiged out so youll get those tomarrow.#AND ILL AD EXTRA. maybe even do a full drawing.#But now enjoy a moody duck. idea just poped into my head.#even though im sure we all know duck IS NOT a morning person#he is a grump in the mornings you just KNOW. (or at least i headcannon)#but the idea just poped in my head and i tried to do new things like a more in depth background lighting and fluff.#i did ok#dhmis#dhmis duck#digital art#dhmis fanart#duck dhmis#dont hug me i'm scared#dont hug me im scared
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i love my husband but im gonna murder him if he defers moving out of nyc for one more goddamn month
#we were supposed to leave in AUGUST!!!!#it is DECEMBER!!!#our last move date was jan 25 2025 and guess who wants to stay in nyc until the end of feb?? JUST GUESS#HINT: ITS NOT ME!!!#im so angry#why can't we get out of here#this is an expensive hellhole#our management co doesn't do shit and we keep getting pests and they won't do repairs#and there's no fucking jobs and groceries cost an arm and a leg and we can't afford to pay my medical bills cause of all the money#we have to spend on rent and food and we can't travel and we can't raise a baby here- we can't even get a second cat!- and i just#i'm done#i'm so done#he keeps saying how excited he is to finish his phd and move on with our lives and here we are. still not done with the phd almost SEVEN#years into a FIVE YEAR PROGRAM#not moving on with our lives in the slightest#now his mother wants to pay our rent because his school isn't gonna pay him anymore to do his phd since it's gone on so long#and i dont WANT her charity i dont WANT to rely on her for ANYTHING#especially because of how she's treated me in the past#but i have no choice if we're staying here another month or two!! fuck!!#i hate it here i hate it im gonna walk into the fucking ocean
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