#im out of my program now. and.... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lucyvaleheart · 4 months

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#whew. this sucks #i.... hhh #well. im... sad.#and scared. and painful. and lonely.#just really running the whole gambit of shit right now.#and fuck I'm just so tired.#so so so so so tired.#everything keeps happening. Just. Over and over and over and over #i cannot get a break #i don't feel like I've truly rested in months #im out of my program now. and....#......i dunno. maybe my memory just fucking sucks. but i feel like im worse #i feel like i didn't even go.#three weeks of memory. down the drain.#like it didn't exist.#i cried a lot. I know that. Breakdowns constantly.#it's all gone though. I don't remember it #........gods you have no clue how.....petrifying that is.#........am i even alive?#Did i kill myself weeks ago and i just don't know it yet?#i feel so alone #im so tired.#....I'm so tired......#.............please let me rest...... im so so tired........#........when can i stop...?

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vaggieslefteye · 17 days

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CHARLIE MAGNE from HAZBIN HOTEL (2019): Pilot - "That's Entertainment" ↳ "So, I've been thinking: Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through... redemption?"

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel edit #hazbin charlie #charlie magne #hazbin edit #requested #hazbin hotel pilot #that's entertainment #charlie #my gifs #god ain't she the cutest little thing!#not gonna lie i get a bit emotional seeing her do The Pose during ''wonderful fantastic new hotel''#it's the same pose she does in the S1 poster :')#okay actually im back here to say some things in the tags:#holy almighty LORD these gave me so much grief to color in a way i thought looked nice #specifically the one of her in the news chair. sorry i was NOT gonna let that hideous highlighter green color assault all your eyeballs.#did i lose nearly two hours of sleep getting it right because i still have no idea what i'm doing? yes. worth it? YES. ohh yes.#i liked the seafoam look so i made the cloud sequence match :] or at least tried to #there WAS supposed to be another one of her in the news room but i just hated how it kept turning out so i scrapped it.#coloring the main series was one thing to learn but the PILOT? never has it been so obvious to me just how much more bright and vibrant #the colors got during the progression of the world design. also. if by any chance one of those cool and experienced #gif makers happens to see these tags and wants a good laugh: i've been doing this for how many months now? and just last NIGHT figured out #how to use the fucking eraser in photoshop....... thing is... i also draw. i KNOW what program tools look like. i KNOW ppl draw in PS.#i'm just a really silly fuckin goose!! TEEHEE FUCKING HEE I GUESS!#so for months i've been like ''god i wish i could just erase this part from the layer'' and looking at the eraser tool and just being like #''nah it's probably different and weird i'll just stick to what i know'' -> said boo boo the FOOL #see i could be in the club but i'd rather be aggressively neurodivergent about the silly queer demon cartoon that altered my brain chemical

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quirkle2 · 6 months

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first amv be nicies to me about it or else

#qktalks #new hobby found ! achievement get #there was a lyric at the very start of this song (that i cut out bc it was slow and i wanted it to be a bit crazier)#that says ''i can't seem to stay me'' which was sorta the origin of why i picked this one #so there ya go #the first half is a lil rough ngl.i recognize this and if u make fun of me ill cry right on ur person #i thought i hated editing but it turns out once u have a halfway decent editing program the process Doesn't make u wanna cry #i have another song in mind but im not sure there's rly enough footage of what i want for it ... hrrmm #mob psycho 100 #mob psycho #mp100 #shigeo kageyama #mp100 mob #mp100 shigeo #flashing #<- dunno if it's necessary but just to be sure #i do kinda like that amvs take way less time than most of my other hobbies #like art takes forever building anything in any game takes centuries writing can take a long time depending on the length #but u can kinda just whip up an amv in one sitting if u know what ur doing #i Didn't know what i was doing when making This so it took me a couple days but ! now i know the basics of the program so yay

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carpathiians · 5 months

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dug up my oldddd tiny wacom i used to draw with as a kid </3

#rdr2 #john marston #javier escuella #jovier #my art #im NOT used to screenless tablets anymore lol #but i love keyboard shortcuts i lvoe keyboards shprtcuts so much #also krita wins best program because.i can make it pink #these are just some basic sketches i want to try to come up w something thats actually.. something at some point lol i just dont have time #rn #but these two are my forever girlfriends #im trying to figure out a way to stylize them more i want to give them some flavor lol #also i.might be insane but i feel like.. i kinda dont like the feel of the apple pencil #i looked up thid wacom im using now its from 2013 and like. the pen feels so.much nicer to use #but everyone on the internet seems to love the apple pencil #idk.man #maybe its bc my ipad doesnt have a laminated screen and im using the older pencil #anyway the ipad is still a lot more convenient #ok thats enough yapping from me there u go 🤲#think havent been this annoying in the tags in a while so i had to fix that right #<3

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southern--downpour · 1 month

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damn animation is pretty fun. wish cleanup didnt exist

#boarding and roughs are pretty fun! i like figuring out timing! hate hate hate hate doing cleanup. i hate linework. its so boring #also clip studio is giving me a run for my money today. why does copy pasting work like that for animation in this #im not bothering with downloading another program but god damn this is so jank #virgil arts #im not gonna finish this. i know im not. i do not have that kind of art stamina right now theres a reason i dont usually animate #i just had The Itch and wanted to see what this guys weapon woud look like in motion #still images only go so far to get the idea outta my head

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rhythmmortis · 1 year

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#kingdom hearts #kh #aqua #terra #ventus #im making graphics now wooo!!#i learned this program 3 days ago and made this!! very intuitive to use and so happy with how these turned out #if this gets enough notes i'll definitely try and do more graphics in the future #i tried to keep it simple for my first time (aside from the teeth on rainfell. oh my god pure hell)#thank you to beloved bestie rapidlychangingfandoms for listening to me complain the entire way through making this dfkhdfkjh #really hoping this doesnt flop!!

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teastarfall · 9 months

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ive never meant to neglect the 2017 comics i just never knew how to draw any of the lil guys in it… until now. my evilness has peaked… a bit

+ sum bonus six’s, bc i need to practice drawing her hood, it’s so hard to draw. why bandai namco…

#also idk if it’s very obvious but i changed art programs because procreate was beginning to get less fun to use #ermm anyway #my fav of the 2017 comic antags would be the north wind #they’re very silly… to me #im glad ferryman has gotten more of a spotlight bc of TSON #ALSO MIRROR MANS POSSIBLE CONNECTION TO HUNTER???#IDK IF THE THEORYS OUTDATED BY NOW BUT ITS GIVING ME SO MANY THOUGHTS #IM SO OKAY ABOUT THIS ((LIE))#tbh the 2017 comics’ artstyle is literally one of my favs out of everything LN has to offer #the colours are so appealing #i wish it wasn’t cancelled. it had a lot of potential #little nightmares #little nightmares fanart #ln north wind #ln mirror man #ln ferryman #ln six

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wttcsms · 2 months

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guys once the second week of august comes around, you’re gonna see the most active era of wttcsms yet (my final semester of grad school finally ends!)

#crazy to think im now 21 and living alone and will have my masters #and when i first started tumblr i was 16 and first starting my bachelor’s program and couldn’t fathom moving out #time flies by

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lokh · 10 months

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my first attempt at krita and. it turns out i cant draw felines from memory

#i meant krita the program but i guess his name is krita now LOL #art #furry #it is. not immediately intuitive i will say. and the ui setup is not agreeing with me (how i put my hand on the tablet)#it keeps. clicking things. maybe i just need to move it around (if u can do that??)#also i suspect this may be an issue with the tablet and not the program. but it did freeze. ghdfgdf #the image u see before u.... was worked off a screenshot i took #needless to say. back on my 'saving every 2 seconds' shit #can u adjust how the brushes blend and shit...#but tbh im pretty happy with trying out krita for a while over paying for clip.#i could always just. pay for clip later if it turns out i prefer it on tablet LMAO #THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS LIKE. WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE A FUCKING SEAL!#even my sis agreed 😭😭😭😭

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hcnnibal · 5 months

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i can't put my finger on exactly why, but from a lot of the things you've confirmed about them, a1 and a2 remind me very much of some people i went to school with growing up who were raised in extremely restrictive, hyper-religious families that in a couple cases bordered on doomsday cults (to this day i have no idea why those kids' parents had them in public school and not in like, a church basement somewhere)

thats…. probably the vati coming through actually…

#i was able to go to public school bc i tested into the accelerated programs but my sister went to a private christian school #we went to church like 4 days a week #i was not allowed to wear pants etc etc #i spent my saturday mornings going door to door inviting ppl to church #my mother (insane) was convinced i was possessed by a demon #turns out it was just autism #but I didnt know that until like. my early 20s #anyways #im normal now tho #a1a2 are not #ahahahahahah #asks #a1/a2

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eatingsomegreeneggos · 2 years

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Femslash February Day 8: Moon - Sunzy

First time trying Krita :D Felt quite nostalgic though, has been ages since I used my trusty Wacom Intuos too

#femslash february 2023 #femslash february #my art #Fanart #my little pony g5 #My Little Pony #sunny starscout #izzy moonbow #sunny x izzy #sunzy #mlp g5 #mlp fanart #no but seriously this was honestly a pain to make and quite not a smart plan since Im sooo busy #like I dont know how much longer Ill be able to keep up with this :')))#I did have fun working on it though just not the best timing to try out a new program #it took a long time to make it look semi decent and then I still feel its a bit amateurish but at least in a charming way now?#It feels a bit storybooklike to me #anyways at least hope you enjoy!!! Theyre my OTP <33333

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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 months

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#im at such a weird point in my life. trying to choose between a phd and a doomed life as an academic and like just not doing that.#its crazy how not terrible i feel when im not in school. just give me tasks to do and i will do them. dont let me think.#but then im just avoiding my responsibilities. i dunno. i just feel like i would be happier with a structured job that ends when the day #is over. which is y my dad thinks i should get a government job. one of my former lab mates got a government job and he's settling into #spending the rest of his life out in Colorado. which is so weird. i dont kno how long ill be in the place im in now. will it b 4 more years?#or will it be only a few months? will i go back to school in the fall? its looking like yes bc i dont have a job lined up. but maybe ill #keep applying and dip out. let my dreams die in favor of balance and sanity. maybe some things arent meant to be.#its just so gutting. i was talking to my coworker this week. saying that im interested in so many things. i could have studied anything else #and traveled a completely different path. and a guy across the room was like: its never too late. but it feels like its too late. too late #to spend another impossible amount of money on getting a different degree. restarting on a second masters project. im almost 30.#im supposed to b saving money so that i can not work forever. but i cant do that if im just a student forever. so maybe i should just get a #job. god. but theres so much i still want to learn. and im in the perfect program for everything i thought i wanted. im in the perfect place #but everything's falling to pieces. whatever. i. just tired bc im on day 5 of work and have to go in for a day 6.#doing something i havent done before all day. but after than im going home for a week. so ill have lots to contemplate in the airport.#this is not how i thought things would turn out. but im glad im spending the summer working where i am. im learning lots on a human to human #level. and no one bleieves im 27 bc i apparently have a bby face lol. nope im 11 yrs older than u my 16yo coworker #unrelated

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cj-kenobi · 2 years

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tfw when your extremely stubborn commander takes his helmet off in front of you for the first time 5 months into the war (absolutely not to win a bet) and you have a load of 100% platonic feelings about it

#obi wan is feeling so normal about this yeah #which i love for him #he caught feelings so fast in this episode of me playing with canon like a kid in a sandbox #also can i just say im really happy with how this one turned out i got a new art tablet and a new program and this was the first real thing #i did with it #i made this in like october but i got like 1 single piece of negative fandom experience and it totally stopped me making stuff #until like last week and now im going to make so much #anyways #the lines on obiwans back are so wobbly i only just noticed haha #obi wan kenobi #star wars #codywan #commander cody #my art <3 #fan art #star wars art #sw art #<3

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scattered-winter · 10 days

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its wild just realizing how much people have done and experienced and how prepared they are for what's to come when i am . very much not . lmao

#having my daily ''oh my god i need to change my program'' crisis #its just idk . i feel like im woefully underprepared for doing any of this kinda stuff when everyone around me already knows #what theyre doing and what they wanna get out of it. idk.#and i have a slightly better idea of what i want to do but i havent figured out how im gonna get there.#and idk.#we were talking about what we want to do with this line of study after graduating and the only thing i could think of #was that i didnt choose this specific field because of what it had to offer #i chose it because it was the easiest way to get out of the situation i was in for a LOT of fucking reasons #and now that im out i guess i can start thinking abt what i really wanna get out of all this. idk.#probably gonna need to wait till next semester anyway but thats fine. ive been waiting for this for 20 years i can wait a little longer #but idk i guess its just a little frustrating feeling so Behind everyone else.#but i guess this is what happens when u pack ur whole life into 2 suitcases to escape a high control cult. who knew!!!#its time for dinner and i crave my daily portion of chow mien. and then i will watch show 3 inches from my computer screen so i can see.#winter speaks #overall i am vibing. a little frustrated with myself but it cant be helped. i am vibing :]#personal

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writterings · 9 months

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shit man im going to england!!! im going to london in a few weeks!!!!!! fuck yeah!!!!!

#goddamn im so relieved #im going with my grad program and i forgot to fill out a crucial form bc i thought it was due at a later date #and i was so worried bc i already paid for everything #but i can still go!!! god im so relieved #now i just have to actually fill out the form damn #which isnt an issue but i need a medical exam #so im going to a minute clinic lmfao #but anyways i literally was so upset. so relieved now.

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jrueships · 2 months

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guess whos not going in at all this week, actually

#MY MANAGER EMAILED LIKE 2 HOURS B4 I HAD TO GO IN #she finally changed my schedule (1 day) to the night shift today #(i emailed her to be safe just kinda casually reaffirming im going in at the new time & then asking if any other shifts wanted 2 be changed #bcs that sounds great to me whstever option she goes with #she ignored that question & i get a new email from her asking if i completed a training. lets called it DOC #basically a long time ago she said 'i will send you DOC instructions soon' .. a few days pass and i get three 50 paged packets #one is called NAVIGATING DOC #im like oh ok cool that must be the DOC training shes talking abt bcs the other 2 packets were abt various trainings #NAH BRUH. APPARENTLY THE DAY IM SUPPOSED TO GO IN. SHE MESSAGES ME SOME ENTIRELY ALIEN PROGRAM #and is like 'u completed this right? cus if u didnt u cant come in today.'#LIKE?? MAYBE I WOULDA IF U SENT THE SHIT #but it's also like. dam i shouldve emailed prompting her to send what she said she would n clarifying BUT FUCK #WHY DO I GOTTA?? IM NOT THE MANAGER #she literally told me the name of the program rn thru email so i type it in and see like four hour long modules to complete #mind u i aint never even been informed a WHISPER abt this new program. nothings even labeled DOC TRAINING #but my struggle is. was i notified this?? and i just didnt see??? was i supposed to clarify with her what the DOC training was exactly??#the only thing ive heard abt doc training b4 this is 'i need to send u DOC training soon' in EMAIL. so i expected an alert #abt THE DOC TRAINING... in an EMAIL notification. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS #idk man #i dont even care bro like im busy as hell & the work is just to build clinic hours so i dont care abt the money factor #it's just like. can we get this first day jitters thing over with already?? im so over this bro #yaddayadda i emailed her an apology n ill be on that ASAP shit. but i did let her know i am basically justnnow seeing this site #n if there was any email or notif that couldve/tried to inform me of its existence 2 pls let me know / figure out how to find it #so the issue doesnt occur again & i dont have to keep botherinher which im so srry of bcs med is stress n shes just trying to get by #but still bro im a lil miffed bcs she probably thinks im stupid now and now im wondering if i AM #bcs WDYM ONLINE MODULES. AINT NOBODY SAID SH IT EVEN ABT THE EXISTENCE OF THEM!!! i wouldve pressed harder 4 clarification #if i knew it was an ONLINE MODULE i had to look out for on some randomass site i didnt even know the name of until now #instead of the EMAIL UVE BEEN 'COMMUNICATING' WITH ME ON #ARREGHHHHHHHH IM NOT STUPID. I SWEAR IM NOT STUPID FUCCK MY BAKA LIFE

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