#im only on chapter 74

[butahumbleguest]

this fic has me in a chokehold I swear

(alternate under the cut)

[one-and-a-half-yikes]

Another Day, Another Fanny Chapter...

Well that sure was fucking something huh? I promised I'd at least start talking about IM chapters on here instead of keeping it strictly to the discord server so here I am. Though most of this I already said, I don't mind going over it again, since I feel like I can better organize my thoughts on this.

Also there's no word limit, which is also great.

MY THOUGHTS ON CHAPTER 348: RABBIT REFLECTIONS

So to start, let's rip the bandaid off and just say that everything Fanny said to Vicious in this chapter was bullshit.

At this point in the story with how Fanny has been acting around Cuphead I hope I don't need to specify how Fanny is in love with Cuphead when there's just too much evidence to support it. She kissed him because she wanted to kiss him, not because she was trying to see what kind of lowdown man he was. If Fanny had truly believed that, she would have confronted him about it long ago, but she didn't and we know why. And on some level, I think she knows why, too.

I think it's much easier for a reader to imagine this chapter as a conversation Fanny is having with her conscious. Saying something like this:

Is not her responding to Vicious but to her own thoughts that weigh on her. That kiss has been on her mind for about a week. And her reasoning behind it has changed even moreso. This is her settling on a final conclusion. This is her convincing herself of her own convictions. Of her worldview. That what she did was right, that she didn't ruin something good because it was never good to begin with. So that she doesn't have to confront that ugly realization in the pit of her stomach.

That Cuphead doesn't love her the way she loves him.

That last part specifically. Let's look back at the screenshot yeah?

-"She could almost see Oswald's glare. It was all the same dance. A carousel of pain and betrayal, around and around."

It's a strange thing, isn't it? To bring up Oswald. To equate Oswald to her current situation with Cuphead. Because that is essentially what she's doing, isn't it? It may seem odd, but I do have a reason for why she's thinking that.

Rejection.

Oswald broke up with her and moved on with his life, and Cuphead literally ran from her. Literally the only thing they have in common here, is the fact that they rejected her. But there's another thing too.

"No, she shouldn’t complain. She was lucky she’d found a man with a decent job. Little fights like these weren’t going to end it all for them. Besides, it wasn’t like marriage was about love and all that stardust. She had tried that avenue, and it had ended in heartbreak. Definitely not worth it. Dumb rabbit." (Chapter 74)

The bold is obviously about Oswald. Now compare that to now. Do you see what I mean? She fell in love again, and she got hurt in the process. Nevermind that in both these scenarios the men were also hurt. Especially Cuphead who trusted her and from his perspective, probably assumed she planned on using him for her own needs. Just like Meg. Just like Natasha. And in that way it's very interesting the wording she's using to describe Cuphead, and also Oswald for that matter, rejecting her.

Pain and betrayal. Very edgy, it's giving listening to that one slowed down piano version of Numb that everybody made fandom AMVs to back in the 2000s.

But seriously, why those words? It's a betrayal that Cuphead wasn't interested in the same way she is? Painful sure, that's kind of how rejection works, but betrayal really?

Or.

Is it a betrayal to herself? Thinking of certain aspects of this chapter as Fanny talking to her conscious would definitely lead me to believe that that's partially what it is. She'd already tried the avenue of love twice and it's ended poorly for her, so why did she do it again when she said she wouldn't. Why now, and why with someone like...like him? Like Cuphead? It's absurd in her head. It's something she can't make sense of. Doesn't want to make sense of it either.

So the betrayal could be referring to herself. But, I also think it could be something else, too. But for me to talk about that I have to talk about Oswald and Fanny's relationship because even after a disastrous break up they just can't stay away from each other~

So even though we don't have a lot of context for their relationship, I'm going to go off on a hypothetical that the "betrayal" in regards to Oz is that he offered Fanny (either literally or just like, the idea of the relationship with him gave her that impression) a way out of the dark. From chapter 327 that her home life wasn't great, and she doesn't seem to have any high opinion of her parents at all. Even the mere suggestion of going back home after her break up with Oswald seemed like a worse fate to Fanny than being homeless.

Oswald betrayed her because he was her first love, and also because she was supposed to be living the good life with him. They were supposed to be together forever, but then he broke up with her and next thing Fanny's hearing he's got a successful career and a beautiful wife and kids. She left everything behind for this man only for it to turn out like this. In some ways I can kind of understand what she means. But then she applies this to Cuphead and it's a bit stranger.

Because Cuphead never did anything other than offer her friendship and nothing more. Of course, at the beginning, Cuphead did have a crush on her, but by the end of the Wonderful Winter book he's basically over it. But then I think back to that book specifically, and I think about their interactions throughout and wonder if the betrayal is because Fanny misconstrued everything about their relationship because of how he'd previously acted. Is it the case, that Fanny thought they were both in the same boat, using each other as a form of escapism. She even calls Cuphead out for this at one point and makes an observation about it. Did she think it was the same for him as it was for her? That the feelings were mutual?

And, okay I actually can't blame her for that part. Look, no matter how you slice it, Fanny and Cuphead were just straight up flirting with each other in the early chapters. Not to mention Cuphead asking to take Fanny out to dinner? The Christmas group date? The aftermath?

At the beginning, there may have been mutual feelings of attraction sure but things have changed since then. And even though Cuphead put aside his feelings for her for good, if Fanny had shown any form of reciprocity then maybe things could have changed, but she didn't. But even still it doesn't really explain how Cup could have betrayed her. It stumps me and I've had a good nap to think it through and it's still confusing.

[nvuy]

HOW DO YOU WRITE SMUT PLEASE. IM STRUGGLING

in a nutshell: every dude that gets head is gonna feel great and there’s a hot mouth on his dick or whatever, but the difference is how he thinks about it and what he does about it. is he ramrod fucking stiff to remind the audience that he’s an absolute loser virgin and this is his first time, or is he incredibly experienced, and touches your face all over to encourage you? it’s a spectrum.

i like to focus on feelings rather than what’s actually happening. there’s only so much i can say about sunday receiving head; may as well reach into his mind and try to figure out what he’d do and think and feel and say in that situation. im also weird and write weird things, and i say im not a porn writer, but 3/4 of my fics on ao3 are all porn.

so yeah i guess just try to like. less talk about “and then you sucked him off” or whatever and more focus on what both people would feel in that certain moment, and try to keep it in character.

at the same time my writing is so chock full of shit and piss every five sentences so i feel bad for anyone that has the attention span of a goldfish and didn’t pick up in chapter 2 on page 17 that you had brown timber walls and the carpet was grey and there was a vase in the hall that comes into play in chapter 74 when you have an epiphany on said carpet.

[someone-always-cares]

chapter 5, page 74

first - previous - next

[image description: an sac webcomic page. "what?" schmidt asks, the room now dark with the main light out, a black void only illuminated by the red light of the camera, washing everything in a creepy red glow. "oh, i see. you two had a little friend with you" she answers her own question. her eyes are glowing, pupils now wide and not slits for once. "right then. won't make them wait too long. i've already got two of you. don't think i'll need a third.". she says, walking off, expression hidden now that she's facking away from the camera's light, but grinned teeth ever so faintly glinting from the glow in her eyes. lewis stares back , expression unclear but no longer crying. the handprint on his arm is also very faintly glowing, as his his eyes. end id]

not a fade to black! well it is but like, a literal one. honestly this page was rather experimental due to time constraints (i've had a toothache for like, a week or two, so thats put my productivity right down) but tbh i thik it turned out better than i thought? especially since the entire bottom part was done after midnight (it's 2:14am rn. i am back at work now so will have to wake up at 6am)

i've tried to draw schmidt with wide pupils before to show their excitement but it just made her look goofy or high. edited these to show my point

[id: two cropped panels of schmidt edited so their eyes has wide pupils.]

tbh the second one does look creepy whcih im annoyed that i managed to get it then and not before when i was actually drawing it

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

fic in review 2023 :)

this old tag game used to go around every year but no one's tagged me the past few years so i just. Tag My Self . because it is FUN ! it's the Shamelessly Promote Your Work game and it's fun looking at all the stats and reviewing your year in writing. it's the most indulgent tag game ever come join me

tagging: WHOEVER WANTS TO DO IT! YAY! TAG ME! 🎉but also specifically (no pressure! i will not be offended if you ignore, this is A Lot): @mvshortcut @fade-in-the-dark @altschmerzes @writer-and-thrasher @kar-krashew :)

i'm applying this to "trentcrimminallybeautiful" specifically, not the other fics on my ao3. ...mostly.

Total Number of Completed Stories:

total posted, complete or not: 40 works on ao3, but of those 40, four are collective works, so if we count each chapter/snippet as its own "completed stories", that's... 74, wow.

however, as for "complete"... not counting those snippet collections, 33. if i count the snippets i consider somewhat "complete"... probably around 57? some of them are hard to determine if they feel "complete" or not, hence why they're in snippets collection jail in the first place.

Total Word Count: according to ao3′s word count, 277,118, which is counting my works for other fandoms but is not counting the squillion wips i have unposted on ao3.

Fandoms Written In: Ted Lasso, mostly. But also The Mysterious Benedict Society. Also a Professor Layton fic.

Looking back did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expect: More! Trent really grabbed my brain. Spinning him.

What’s your own favorite story of the year, personally?:

UhhhHHHH. I'm bad at choices so here's several:

"trick & treat" and "off the record" for some overly self indulgent smut. and also the deeply embarrassing venom au oneshot

"being right" and this fic about trent being sick

superhero au oneshot, "second impressions", and a fmk oneshot for sillies, "high noon over richmond" or this time travel snippet...

Did you take any writing risks this year?: Hmm well I'd call That Goddamn Venom AU a Fucking Risk, as well as the My God What's This? Catboy Smut Oneshot With The Steel Chair

but honestly there were several fics i was unsure about, which got a variety of responses i think, although none atrociously bad

Do you have any fanfic goals for the New Year?: So many WIPs I want to like. actually write.

Best story of the year: Well, that's not favorite (my favorite) or most popular (everyone else's favorite) so is that supposed to mean objectively the best? Because I still am bad at judging this. At a guess, the aforementioned superhero au, one of those indulgent smut fics, or possibly this deeply stupid crack fic about rupert mannion sucking in bed. Or "ink sunset". NO WAIT. IT'S MATTERS OF THE HEART of course it is

Most popular story of the year: hm. WELL. im only doing ones on this account bc i can’t be bothered to pull up the other ones tbh but

By kudos: "Ted Lasso Kisses Trent Crimm On The Mouth" with 1004

By subscriptions: "sweeter than heaven (hotter than hell)" with 70

By comment threads: if we're counting snippet collections, first goes to the first snippet collection with 130 and then the second one with 124. if we're not, then it's "Rupert Mannion Is Batman (He Isn't)" with 78. (although "Ted Lasso Kisses Trent Crimm On The Mouth" is at 77--close!)

By bookmarks: "Ted Lasso Kisses Trent Crimm On The Mouth" with 294

By hits: "Ted Lasso Kisses Trent Crimm On The Mouth" with 5324

So overall, probably "Ted Lasso Kisses Trent Crimm On The Mouth"/ By far. Wow.

Most personal story of the year: Probably I WANTED TO BE LOVED SO DESPERATELY / THAT MY FINGERS SHOOK WITH IT or lost sight of (who you are). Wait, no. matters of the heart.

Funniest story of the year: Oh I have so many fucking crack fics. Perhaps one of my many stupid time travel aus, or painting the town richmond blue, or Rupert Mannion Is Batman (He Isn't)? Or that aforementioned stupid fmk oneshot.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Hmmm, lost sight of (who you are), wayward thoughts, and being right.

Most fun story to write: I think i have the most fun with crack and smut--not that I don't love angst, because I do, but crack is just bouncing whatever I think will be funniest and flying by the seat of my pants, and if I manage to write and post smut, it is always extremely indulgent. Can't think of any in these particular genres I haven't already mentioned.

Story with the sexiest moment: Definitely "trick & treat" or "off the record".

Sweetest story of the year: Perhaps "helpless in a game of kisses" or this meet-cute? I also quite enjoyed the ending of "the dregs at the bottom of the glass".

“Holy crap that’s wrong even for you!” story: I'm gonna take this to mean angsty instead of scandalous, and say maybe the first chapter of "make a mess of you"?

Hardest story to write: matters of the heart and its sequel has been fucking me up. Also see lost sight of (who you are).

Biggest disappointment: Some fics I really like didn't do so well, but then, a lot of them did, so I try not to dwell on it

Biggest surprise: Was really nervous about a few oneshots I really liked and worked hard on (particularly "matters of the heart" and some of that stupidly indulgent smut) but they got a pretty good reception! Also see: just how bad Trent Crimm has invaded my brain <3

[fullscoreshenanigans]

Norman ratri fuckery or maybe Norman in lambda scenario if im understanding this right!

For an AU with greater canon divergence, I like tinkering with the idea of Peter being more hands on in interacting with Norman to better contrast with Emma and Ray getting Lucas and Yuugo for father figures.

22194 has been a child of interest since he scored a perfect 300 on his first test at age four. Potentially even earlier than that, if, like Ray, the demons kept track of his pedigree and his mother was also a full scorer. Regardless of exactly when it started, he continues to capture the attention of researchers and the demon nobility alike, so by the time Legravalima gives approval for him to be sent to Lambda so she can avoid handing him over to the demon god, Peter was already aware of his general existence.

He's thrown for a loop when he meets him in person though. The only potential photographs he would have of Norman would be from when he was an infant at headquarters. His incredibly light/white hair on its own wouldn't have been enough to give him much pause, but now that his features have had more time to develop, Peter's a bit startled at the Ratri ones he can pick out.

(@bon-nii's comparison of James and Norman from chapters 173, 152, 126, and 154)

(Chapter 74)

There's a bit of vanity in him saying he's too young to be Norman's father (never mind he was eighteen when Norman was born), but combined with the boy's looks, the phrase sits at the back of his mind, nudging him until he can't ignore his curiosity any longer. He looks into the genealogy records at Grace Field headquarters until he can't find any recording of a sperm donor, which isn't more than a few generations back. Odd, given that Grace Field is the top premium farm, but sometimes such documentation snuck through the cracks, and it wasn't unheard of for the occasional scientist to consort with the Sister candidates prior to the refinement of artificial insemination.

It's one of Norman's blood samples that confirms someone from the family—either from the main one or the branch Andrew's from—fathered a daughter with a Sister, and that daughter went on to have a daughter who then bore a son.

Pulling this bit from an earlier post:

…I still have trouble wrapping my head around the idea of Peter knowingly and willingly [putting a Ratri child in the farm system] on the basis of viewing them as an extension of the clan rather than as individuals, so it’s almost like it’s a worse reflection on him not being able to restore the honor of this wayward branch of it by “salvaging” the traitor’s children and raising them “correctly.” He places such great value in being a Ratri and displays such disdain when speaking of the cattle children as food, it’s hard to see him sullying the line in any way by condemning a member to the fate of the latter as opposed to just outright killing them, even if said member was an infant. That’s still Ratri blood—his blood—that would be going into the farm system, and he would never let anyone as lowly as food have any sort of claim to such a noble and prestigious status. […] However, I’m more inclined to entertain the idea of another family member taking advantage of their position as a Ratri to have a dalliance with a Sister candidate, as @officersnickers brings up in this post. It’s not something Peter would ever approve of, but what’s done is done, and importantly there was no explicit denouncement of the clan in this act, which I feel he would take personal offense to. There’s nothing he can do to save these children—the one-drop rule thoroughly entrenched in his mind, and their blood is thoroughly tainted—but maybe their Ratri lineage will win out and they’ll be able to rise above their pitiful status, so he does keep tabs on both as he approves of them being sent on their separate ways in the system.

This is where one has to make the concession that Peter cares more about having an heir and/or believing a child's Ratri heritage trumps their fate of being born into the farm system. Shirai never confirms if he has a partner, but regardless, no mention is made of biological children of his own or if he knows of any potential ones on the way.

And maybe that's getting to him as the thirty-sixth head of the Ratri clan who's going to turn thirty next year, along with this boy looking so much like James. He knew his brother had no children, and despite his traitorous ways knew he'd never father one with a Sister for a variety of reasons. Yet here is this distant relative whose genes were still so prominent even after being diluted with multiple generations of cattle blood (him being vain enough to include Norman's intelligence as being another gift of Ratri inheritance). He decides to take it as a sign and as a duty to reclaim and "salvage" this wayward line of the clan.

Norman knows something's off when he doesn't receive all of the drugs he normally does for the day. Everything else proceeds as routine until dinner, when he's escorted not by scientists or demons, but men dressed in suits to an area of Lambda he's never been to before. They arrive in a lavishly decorated room with Peter seated at a relatively small but well-furnished dinner table. Norman's never seen so much food meant for one person, but as Peter invites him to have a seat, he realizes it's meant for two people.

There's some small talk regarding the spread, Peter's recommendations and whether Norman's favorite dish is there. By sheer coincidence there is some chickpeas and meat stew present, and while Norman is still wary of the entire situation, he doesn't refuse the bowl placed in front of him by the butler. It's the most delicious thing he's ever tasted. Peter makes sure to clarify one of his personal chefs made it.

This segues into a brief discussion about the daily tests Norman's been taking at Lambda. He confirms they're harder than the tests at Grace Field, but he enjoys the challenge, the tiniest bit of smug pride seeping in in the event Peter had any ego tied up in his being bested by one of these tests. The proud tone in the response throws him off before his brain registers the words "as to be expected of a Ratri." Peter then apologizes at the small but still noticeable change in his expression, lamenting how he probably should have started out with that to ease any of Norman's worries.

He goes on to explain how he discovered this, interpreting Norman's silence as positive before moving on to provide a brief overview of how the Ratri clan came to be the mediators between two worlds and then explaining how his life will change now that he'll be staying in the Ratri visitors' quarters for the remainder of his time at Lambda. The process to remove his tattoo and brand will begin the following day, and he'll be weened off the remaining drugs he's been given.

Norman knows it's beyond his consideration, but he still can't believe the gall of this man.

As for what [being a Ratri] would mean to Norman, he’s never indicated any sense of loss related to not knowing members of his immediate birth family or fretting over his origins, but for him to be related to the clan that’s perpetuated this system of abuse over a millennia and with how his rigid sense of morality lent itself to the idea of exterminating every single demon, if he was in a particularly negative thought spiral, it might eat at him on some bad days.

Where Peter expected rapturous or reverential awe at being a long-lost member of the clan, he felt sick. He never knew his birth mother or other forebearers, but imagining everything those women had to endure after seeing what it turned Isabella into, all being said so casually without a hint of guilt over the horrors his clan perpetuated like he's discussing the pedigree of a thoroughbred animal instead of a human being, it's nauseating.

And his neck tattoo…the Lambda brand he wouldn't give a second thought to losing, but the tattoo has this paradoxical sense of kinship attached to it that I briefly go over in this post regarding the children still keeping their tattoos years after being in the human world. Even with it being a horrible symbol of their dehumanization under this system, it's been a familiar sight to him since his earliest memories. It's one of the physical markers of his connection with Emma, Ray, and the rest of his family, and this man will be flippantly erasing that. How easy it is for him having never bore the grief that comes with it.

This is already long but a tangentially related conversation to this eventually comes up with Peter asking about Emma and Ray. On the surface it's to connect with Norman and learn more about his life at Grace Field, but the ulterior motive is to see if there's any information he can glean about these kids to find and capture them quicker. Norman will give it to him for having the tact not to slip and refer to them by their numbers like he's sure he wants to do, but he's still incensed at their names in his mouth. There's also the chance that Peter might reveal a crumb of information himself about their status (because Norman can't see why he would be asking unless he had something to gain from it, so that has to mean their escape was a success and they were all alive. The alternative would kill him), so he entertains the conversation. He tries not to give any tells, but when he talks about them his thumb might have grazed the spot where his number used to be before covering it up with a cough.

Norman's never taken in by Peter's seemingly genial demeanor, but it's odd how personal and almost…amiable the man can be with him. Still, the love he's offering is contingent on Norman's continued assistance at Lambda (Peter sees it as their shared duty to solve the conundrum of faster high quality meat production) and at least the appearance of respect toward the clan. It's not unconditional like Lucas' and Yuugo's.

The clearest hint of this might be Peter mentioning how much Norman resembles James one night at dinner, building his brother up with the same admiration he displays in chapter 173 before lamenting his fall from grace, stressing the sacrifice he had to make by murdering him but still ultimately going through with it because the clan and balance between two worlds takes precedence above all else.

Alternatively, another scenario that's easier to work into canon is the Ratri clan realizing Norman's lineage when the cattle children arrive in the human world, also prompted by the databases at Grace Field sparking further investigation with a DNA test. Once it's confirmed, they keep pestering Norman about leaning into this kinship and actively working for them, along with having his family and friends seemingly on good terms with the clan for some PR optics. Norman finds the idea insulting and revolting, but he can't ignore the benefits that would come with it.

Like some other fans, I greatly dislike Norman becoming a CEO during the final major timeskip, as well as Lambda sickness being conveniently treated with no chronic aftereffects and absolutely no issues with them integrating into human world and being welcomed with open arms by everyone. I understand Shirai wanted to wrap up the series on his own terms after years of dealing with the strain that is weekly manga publishing, and he needed an explanation for how the kids could easily fund their expeditions to search for Emma, but oof, do I hate it lol. All of these remain a concern for the cattle children here, and while the Ratri clan wouldn't outright abandon them if he refused, Norman wouldn't put it past them to drag their feet on certain matters. Their finances and prestige shield them from any misguided resentment some people may hold for them. Their connections are a boon for securing future educations and careers. And god would it expedite the search for Emma.

I like to imagine a late night benefit-cost analysis between Norman, Ray, Don, and Gilda taking place at some point after they've settled in enough. The other three reaffirm that if Norman felt it was going to kill his soul to work for the Ratris, his friends and family would stand by his refusal, but they would be remiss not to acknowledge the pragmatism in further solidifying the relationship (particularly poignant coming from Ray, though not completely analogous situations). The conversation drifts off for a bit before Norman, looking exhausted across the table they're seated at with his hands on his knees, states, "I want her back with us."

Working with the clan would be odd in so many ways with how they would laud his status as a cattle child and how he was taking the lead on amending relations between the Ratri and the cattle children while never wanting to fully interrogate what that meant. There's a hierarchy with Norman at the top and the mass production farm children at the bottom in many of their minds. At one point in private after a publicity event someone says offhand, "you can cover that up now, you know," referring to his ID. Even in the winter he tries to make a point not to wear scarves or turtlenecks when he knows he's going to be around them.

I hate the idea of there being one good and upstanding Ratri member that befriends him just because it's too convenient, and if we're being real Norman would never let down his walls enough and let them into his personal world after everything he's been through, but I do like the thought of him maybe getting along with a few scattered members, probably younger, who recognize the terrible fate that befell the children from another world and are genuinely amiable with him without beholding him to form a meaningful friendship with them. A small attempt at a personal level of atonement that he can recognize and appreciate while still maintaining that mental distance. I also think he'd appreciate the very youngest children of the family who could give him insight into what the adults might really think of him and his friends with their uncensored commentary lol.

[ayayabaroque]

AcademicRival!reader x Alhaitham???

 im revisiting my childhood by listening to sum music Inspired by Nadarang because i was doing some journaling and i got an Alhaitham sticker recently and made me think rlly rlly hard. Like hard hard CW; slight-kinda iksekai’d au?, heavily implied filipino reader, slight archon quest spoilers(or not, but still putting it here in case cuz i might write smt i dont mean to), reader studies in the Akademiya, ooc Alhaitham??, crackfic-ish, not close to canon lore because i cant write for shit because of God knows what. somewhat swearing in filipino, modern au

It’s unbelievable how the Akademiya’s Scribe chooses to show off to you out of all the scholars he could choose as a “rival”. You had a really, really hard time keeping up with whatever tricks he’s got up his sleeve to “impress” you... “You ought to fix your posture, a proper scholar never slumps even with a ridiculous amount of theses and presentations due by the end of the week.” Stupid scribe, he doesn’t even get to report the same projects you’re working on, since he only record the Sage’s meetings or something close to that- “Are you even listening? Or do we repeat the lesson again since your pea brain doesn’t comprehend what you’re supposed to do as my assistant?” Blue-gray irises stare at you, obviously waiting for an answer. “Well?” “I’m not that stupid. I just spaced out for a bit since your voice irritates me to the point I should acquire special earmuffs just for you.” “How sweet. You’re actually self-aware of what I go through every session with you.” WHAT. He did not just use your insult to insult you so, would insulting him insult yourself since the insult was yours but he insulted you with it???? “ULOL POKENGINAMO BOBO KINGINA MO TANGINA KA HAYOP DEPUTA KA GAGO PAKYU BETCH” “?????????? what” “actually i want you to explain chapter 5 until 74 please, I don’t get what the lesson’s supposed to be” “Now that you mention it, you do seem like the type of idiot to require special attention to understand a topic.” how dareness?? Your eyes blown wide, you ask him— “Tinatawag mo ba akong lutang putangina ka?” “Are you calling me light-headed you mother fucker?” “Whatever you learnt in whatever universe you came from, I sure don’t understand what little complex language you’re saying right now.” “fuck you bi—” He always suggests you to have a one-on-one study session with him, if your schedule’s full, too bad that you’ll have to cancel everything because you’ll never win in reasoning with him. “You’re here again?? You know I can’t stay away from your bright demeanor, right?” “tf did you just steal a line from Shanti Dope??” “Okay so?????????” But really, he can’t stay away from you even for the love of his life. He wouldn’t admit to it though. i should stop writing based off of what music i listen to ngl

[rosekasa]

3, 18, 72 and 74 for the ask game!! love your writing :))

from get to know your fic writer!

uwuwuwu anon ily!!!!

3. describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

usually i start with a general sketch of the stuff that i know that i want, and then kind of carve out an idea from it!! e.g., these are the starts of the documents for 'what happens in london' and 'the adrien agreste desk partner experience'

from there, i start planning out what would happen at each plot point (i like using a version i modified of the save the cat beatsheat because it lets me track pacing a bit better!) and then. yeah!! i start writing!!! :) i keep my outlines pretty simple because i love the process of exploring a story

18. do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? how do you come up with titles?

best case scenario, i title during, usually if i come across a phrase that i enjoyed while writing. worst case scenario it's just before i have to post onto ao3 and im frantically skimming through to see if there's anything that stands out to me JDHJKSHDF

72. what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

i write chronologically! i used to write favourite scenes first but i realised it would stress me out because i felt like there was too much decided about something that happens so later on in the fic that i couldn't figure it out as i went. i like experiencing the wip the same way someone reading the finished product would so i know what makes sense and what doesn't!

74. you’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

this has actually happened multiple times already DSJHFK. for an old fandom, it was because there were only a handful of people active in the fandom at the time and i had the great idea to use a halsey song as the title. but for ml, i dont really understand it but mutuals have told me i have a specific flavour of ladynoir that they associate with me that i cannot hide across pseudonyms, LMAO. for people that have met me irl i have hilariously been told that there are certain dialogue quirks i give the characters that *I* use myself skjdfhsdkjf

[anachronistic-falsehood]

3 + 4 + 13 + 74!!!

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

i just have like. random scenes in my mind that i want to write and i string them together like beads on a friendship bracelet and hope it comes out ok!!!! i usually write it start to finish without writing the scenes in between like some ppl do but i physically CANNOT do that!!! i gotta write it chronologically if i don't i will explode. sometimes i just write a full 5k chapter in a frenzy over the course of a couple hours and sometimes it takes me a full week to write 1k. it's a got damn Process that is for sure

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

they come to me like a prophet receiving visions from an angry god!!!! fr tho genuinely i have no idea. sometimes i just think of like a character and a trope and im like oh sick i can write that!! sometimes i have a single devastating thought and im like oh i need 2 expand on that and make it the saddest thing anyone has ever read. i do not need to find new inspiration for ideas because the ideas come to me and my fucking brain cannot hold them all!!!!!! get them out of my head!!! agh!!! someone take these ideas for themselves im holding them all in my hands and i cannot carry them!!!!

13. what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

GOD MY ANSWERS FOR THESE QUESTIONS SUCK. BUT GENUINELY I DON'T EVEN KNOW. I HAVE NO WRITING TIPS I LIVE BY. I JUST FUCKING. PUT WORKS ON A WORD DOC AND HOPE FOR THE BEST!!! the only advice i live by is "write for three things: yourself, your three insane mutuals, and your dick" and by god do i certainly write for me and my mutuals and my peanus

74. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

hmmmm. tbh i don't even know. GOD these are hard fucken questions!!!! i have no idea how my writing style reads to other ppl!!!! are there any like. things that ppl have noticed in my writing that's consisten thru my fics??? i do not know........

link 2 the ask game :3

[ferrocyan]

more thoughts from skimming 74-78 last night (less than yesterday's spam i promise www)

74 is the relationship defining part of the story. by this point reeq is confident enough that wol is sticking w him, and he starts really referring to them as a duo (名コンビ). you both have been nakama from the start so this feels like a step up. in the altercation with lanbyrd wol's bond with reeq is nakama, and that's how lanbyrd calls his friends too.

SIDE NOTE, lanbyrd and reeq's partnership is never rly called nakama. they don't use that word, only saying that they'd teamed up before. however reeq does say that it was just the two of them. oh my god theyre exes. reeq is so jealous that lanbyrd got new friends so fast lmao

oh my god i almost forgot ahobon. that's what lanbyrd calls reeq, アホぼん. i don't entirely know what bon means here, possibly another reading of 坊 bou, meaning boy/little. SO HIS NICKNAME IS LITTLE IDIOT. DUMBASS BOY. i take it back this is the "reeq takes Ls nonstop" chapter fr

in eulmore the servant calls wol reeq's friend (友達) but when reeq introduces wol to his father it's as his best friend (親友) shinyuu 🥺 we are besties 🥹🥹

i screamed out loud in real life when reeq says "father please listen to me..." SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP BAWLING DEAD ON THE FLOOR. HE STRAIGHT UP BEGS AND STILL GETS DISMISSED. "do as you like as long as you don't besmirch our family's name." AAAAUGH GODDAMMIT YOU PIECE OF SHITTTT

after this when reeq opens up to wol he still calls them shinyuu.. "since we're best friends, i'm gonna trust you with this, okay..." screaming and crying again i love you catboyyyy

and this time he can't incentivize wol to come back with a bigger reward so he just :) begs them :)) "頼むから……次も必ず来てくれ……!" oh yeah im normal abt this why do you ask "わかった、俺はお前を信じて待っているぞ……!" he says he will trust wol in such a needy way im.normal imnormal imnofklskidhdnsiskqkdgudksmmksl

[acewitch-writes]

hey, i just wanted to tell you that your posts are a huge breath of fresh air for me and i am so happy im not the only one who dislikes the new marauders fandom’s characterisation… literally thank you so much<333 i hope you stay active and at some point feel comfortable enough to make your fics public again because i would love to read them! sending you much love :)

Thank you! So I DO plan on finishing my most popular fic, which is a modern muggle/non-magical AU called "A Love Like the Movies." It's a wolfstar slow burn with background Jily and Dorlene. It is currently at 74/80 chapters, 330k words, and I plan to make it available to read again once I finish it.

[film-in-my-soul]

listen i'm extremely indecisive so i really couldn't be stopped so no pressure but i may have gotten just a little... little.. bit carried away with the Get to know your fic writer! thing you reblogged...

anyway i apologize for what im about to do

1, 2, 13, 17, 41, 51, 72, 74

swiftly running away now o7

Well shucks! I'm just delighted you're asking :3

1. Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

It's less of a preference and more of what I have the stamina for. Generally one-shots are easier for me to manage so that's what I lean toward but I've been trying to do more long-form pieces as of late :3

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

For short pieces, I usually have a couple of slapdash bullet points of what I want to happen, and for long pieces, I have a more intense breakdown for the plot.

13. What’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

Mmmmmm. The only one that comes to mind is probably 'if a character who is not speaking does an action after another character speaks, put that action in a new paragraph'.

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

Typically I'll take a couple days off if I can, just to do a little reset and try to get the brainworm wiggling again, but if it's a problem where I'm just getting stuck or a bit uninspired with what I'm working on I'll either do a sprint as motivation to push through, or I'll jump to a different section in the piece that I have a more active idea for and that part written instead.

41. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

Typically I'm a one-and-done, at least for a good while. I'll go back in a couple of years and read again probably.

51. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Currently: 935,200 [That's from 2015 to now :3]

72. What order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

Typically I do front to back, but if I get stuck I'll jump around and then add the connective tissue between scenes later.

74. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

I guess it would depend on the fandom? I don't know if I have a specific tell or phrase or anything, but I think my style of narrative voice is distinct enough for the pieces I put out. Or I could slip up and put the 'Grammarly is My Wingman' tag in there XD

Get to know your fic writer!

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

“ the amount of times 39/40 year old john spent going Im Just An Old Calm Guy Now :) Who Would Ever Want To Be Twenty Again? This Is Good :) I’m Having A Good Time” Have you not heard fake it til you make it? 🥲 On a serious note I know people usually tend to fall on extremes ends of the spectrum with John’s state of being in 1980 (not you just in general); we either hear how he was absolutely miserable or had finally come out the other side happy and hopeful. Of course people aren’t linear so obviously it was never just one thing but if anything I think John’s Bermuda trip was a very hopeful indicator that John was capable of taking the plunge and of eventually moving on to a new chapter of his life where he exercised more self agency. He was so optimistic about his 40’s that I want to believe it indeed would have gotten better. Honestly I don’t think he and Yoko would have ever gotten divorced but I think their marriage would have only continued to evolve into something quite different than what it was in the beginning. I’m thinking of those marriages that are all but ‘officially’ open where they take intermittent breaks with other partners before they come back together again and so on. It already kind of seemed they were on that road by 1980 anyway and while May Pang’s account of John being anguished that a marriage could be “incomplete” aka monogamous, that was in 74 and despite Double Fantasy pushing that image of a reconciled marriage, that’s only a work of art and real life is something else. I love rpf btw lmao so if John ‘had love in his voice when he was angry’ but is now giving his ‘window smile’ this reminds me of an emotionally checked out John kind of reminiscent of how Cynthia described John being pleasant to her face but distant near the very end, and John being kind in Get Back but vacillating between engaging and sitting back.

just to be clear, when I said John reiterating he was happy and looking forward to the future was illegal, I was not calling him out for overcompensating (which he might have been) but pointing out that the amount of tragically ironic things he said just before he was killed is a bit unbearable to me lmao.

To me, John's state by 1980 is a bit of a mystery. My feeling is similar to yours: I think he was sincerely feeling good about the future – the fact he was creating music again, being productive after years of very little output, is indicator enough for me. I particularly agree with you that the Bermuda trip specifically seems to have been a turning point or would have been :(. What's much more opaque is how exactly he was doing between '75 and summer '80. I tend to feel he was relieved to have achieved relative normality – his life was clearly still Wild™, but he emphasized that he was able to just walk around outside undisturbed, which must've been a huge weight off his shoulders – and also still struggling massively with depressive episodes and addiction. It definitely seems like Yoko took on an extremely controlling role in his life, which I don't entirely blame her for because I think John was uniquely difficult to deal with in any other way (as Cynthia's approach to him kind of shows). I don't really think JohnandYoko were a healthy couple, but I do think their decade-long proximity alone was enough to make them both incredibly fond of each other, even after their initial honeymoon phase crashed and burned. Whether they would have ended up separating or, as you suggest, become extremely "pragmatic" about the boundaries of their marriage, is hard for me to say. John and Yoko were together not much longer than John was with Cyn (and if you subtract the Lost Weekend it becomes nearly identical) so I'm not sure you could for sure say they had passed some threshold where it would be "too much effort" for them to divorce – that being said, John was definitely more likely to make brash decisions at 27 than at 40+ and there were more sunk costs involved in his relationship with Yoko that would make admitting to his marriage to her being a mistake more difficult for him. (and, I do think John would find it very difficult to separate from anyone without initially deciding that it was all bad – that seems to be how his brain worked. But perhaps he had matured past that attitude)

Double Fantasy is so odd to me – the marketing and reception of it is so incongruent with a lot of the actual content. As you say, art isn't real life, but after listening to it a few times, I find it hard not to think John and Yoko didn't at least have a close-call, where they were on the verge of divorce. Or, if they didn't, it's wild to me they placed I'm Losing You and I'm Moving On on their tracklist in that way, because that's what those two songs together sound like. (though I guess, perhaps it was actually representing the Lost Weekend to them? though I'd count that period as a close-call lol)

Either way, the main reason I'm perhaps more optimistic about John in 1980 than some is he... Just seems by then to have become pretty self-aware. He hadn't resolved his mental issues but he understood them reasonably well, could describe them. And I think a lot of his issues – mostly extreme emotions – are things that tend to naturally settle down as you reach middle age, even when you don't get help. The depression was probably still a major issue, but the fact he was keeping busy when he died is definitely a promising start for dealing with that.

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 112. brb x oc

a/n: hey yo. I'm not the greatest still but I couldn't help myself...idk what it says about me when I feel like I write better when im sad. l ol

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none. ROOSTER IS THE BEST HUSBAND

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/

50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64/65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82/83/84/85/86/87/88

/89/90/91/92/93/94/95/96/97/98/99/100/101/102/103/104/105

/106/107/108/109/110/111

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes @taytaylala12

@caitsymichelle13 @becks-things @caatheeriinee07 @dhwanishah09 @jesfreedark @katiemcrae @lilmonstrjedi @hobiismyhopeu @teacupsandtopgun @insominac23 @gh0stsgoodgirl @mygyn @chavivaelisheva

-

She turned in front of the mirror so many times it gave her whiplash. Since tonight she came home early from the bar, it gave her enough time to get ready and dress up in a way it’d be…good for the event.

Nicole was with her parents already, their little girl was so used to this that she just hugged her mother and waved at them. Meanwhile Beatrice had to be dragged by Rooster back into the car, feeling like she was ready to cry because she’d never see her daughter.

Again, overreacting.

Now she was kneeling in front of their sink, her makeup all thrown over the marble and the dress she wore pulled up to her upper thighs. Her head was being held by her hands and she didn’t know what she could do, because she feared this wasn’t good enough. The dress, obviously was, but the makeup? It wasn’t that fancy, the dress was a light pink peasant sleeve dress with details in gold in the seams.

It was simple but it was obviously Marcus’ style. Beatrice inhales, fixing her low braid every now and again, only to flap her hands because she couldn’t tug on it any longer, “Damn it, okay,okay.” she breathes out, standing to her feet and patting her knees, only to pace around in the bathroom, “I’m okay, everything is okay. I’m okay!”

“Bea?”

“I’m okay!”

The sudden yelp leaves her husband silent for a few seconds, possibly because of shock, but she hears his voice again after a few seconds, “Baby…I just wanted to check on you…are you sure you are okay?”

“I…yes.--no.I’m so nervous.”

“Are you dressed?”

“Just need to put on my shoes…Rooster.I-I’m scared.”

She hears him shuffling outside, getting closer to the door and gently parting it just enough for his voice to come clearer, “Can I come in?” she hums positively, stepping back to give him enough room once he got inside. Bradley opened the door fully, his eyes immediately dragging down her body, appreciating how that fabric hugged her curves and stopped a few inches above her knees.

He licks his lips, still holding onto the door handle, mainly to keep himself upright, “...damn.”

“Roos.”

“I’m sorry gorgeous,I’m…” he drops his gaze again, “Admiring…fuck you look so good.”

“I do?”

He just gives her a confused look, snorting a laugh, ‘Hell yeah, you do.” he gets closer after shutting the door, still dragging his eyes up and down her body, “Give me a full view.” and he spins his index finger, the request is enough to make her laugh a bit, complying after a few seconds. She’s…very nervous, and clutching her hands together, she looks absolutely stunning but clearly felt out of her own space.

Beatrice chews her lower lip, gesturing to her face, “And my makeup?”

‘It’s perfect.”

‘Is it too much?”

“No, course not.” he smiles,gently brushing his thumb over the light blush on her cheeks. This one was artificial but it worked just as well as her actual one, “You look beautiful. You always look beautiful.”

Beatrice’s eyebrows lowered and her smile widened, the little spark of courage shining in her eyes after he said that was enough to make him lean down and kiss her forehead, “You look like a fairy.” she laughs softly, the sound light and almost relieved, “Listen…I know neither of us are part of shit like this, we aren’t high society…but you worked with Marcus, he invited us. He wants us there.”

“I know…”

Rooster takes hold of her small hands and brings them to his lips, kissing her knuckles, “Gorgeous, come on.” he shakes her hands a bit to get a response out of her, ‘You know you can do this.” she drops her gaze to the ground, chewing the inside of her lip, “You did it before, you had your face on a billboard. In the middle of the street…for four months.”

She gives him a small side smile, “I appreciate your support,Roos…it really…I…I just get so nervous with social stuff like this. I’m used to the bar, hell even the reunion was bad but I managed it…but this? I’ll see famous brand designers from all around the world and what am I going to do?”

“You’ll be there,” he drops her hands only to place his on the flare of her hips, ‘With me,” he brings her closer, “Looking absolutely beautiful, making everyone wonder how the hell is someone like you real…and I’ll be there holding your hand, your waist or your ass if you need any more support.” that sneaks a chortle out of her, one she tries to hide by pressing her face to his chest, “You’ll do so great,gorgeous.”

Beatrice peeks at him through her lashes, chewing the side of her mouth for a few seconds before inhaling shakily, for courage, “Yeah, you are right…it’ll be great.”

“It will.”

“...just…if I feel too overwhelmed-”

“We’ll get out of there before anyone notices us.”

Beatrice’s smile softened over his response, standing on her tiptoes to kiss his lips, ‘Thank you.” she says, running her hands down the fabric of his shirt - he looked so good in dark blue it should be illegal. Marcus knew that too, or else why would he send Rooster this outfit? -  “I’m going to put my shoes on and then we can go.”

He stays there for a few more minutes, then kisses the top of her head, “Okay.” he whispers, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Beatrice slowly breaks free of the hold he had on her hand, dropping her own to her side when Rooster leaves the bathroom. She stood there, one hand on top of her heart and a thankful smile on her face…sometimes she wondered if he ever imagined he’d join a fashion launch when he was younger.

Or even when he was older.

His line of work was so specific after all.

But Beatrice didn’t have time to think about that now, she was already anxious, the last thing she needed was worry even more, adding his own thoughts to the mix. She quickly slip on the beige high heel sandals she had, wincing when the strap slapped against the back of her ankle in her hurry.

She walks out to see him sitting on the bed, hands clasped between his legs and his smile widening when he saw her, “Ready?” she only nodded in silence, grabbing her clutch and shuffling over to him, immediately grabbing his hand, “You’ll be okay.”

“Hrrm!” was her disgruntled response, “I don’t feel like throwing up yet, so that’s good. The nerves could be calming down.”

“It’ll be fine…do you know where this will be?”

“At Marcus’ house, it’s…on the hills.” she mutters, “You know, the place where neither of us would ever dream of stepping on.”

“Until now.”

He was doing a great job in pushing her pessimistic thoughts aside, Bea could even think clearer with him speaking to her. She hoped it’d stay during the night, “Yeah…until now.” she lets him lead her down the stairs, the dogs circling them as they walked to the front door, Beatrice could just barely pet them before they left, her hand felt…sweaty and gross, almost felt wrong to give their dogs parting caresses.

She flexes her fingers with a grunt,”I’m sweating like a sinner in church.”

Rooster looks down at her hand, seeing that she pulled out some hand wipes from inside her clutch to rub them almost obsessively. The sound of the moist tissue rubbing against her skin was a repetitive squeak that she didn’t seem to notice.

Rooster just watched, his hands on his hips and head partially tilted, hoping that she’d notice his eyes on her and finally remember that everything was going to be okay. Beatrice does so, slowly, her hand wet because of the lavender scented wipes, eyes wide and worried much like before, “Sorry.” she says sheepishly, quickly tossing the used wipes in their trash can, “I’m okay.”

“You sure?”

“Mhm…I better get in the car before I chicken out,Roos.”

He opens the passenger door for her, smiling sweetly because even when she’s nervous she’s the cutest being on this planet, almost sinking into the seat and keeping her knees up to her chest, sandals abandoned on the floor as she hugs her legs. 

As soon as he enters himself, he gives her one last look as he turns the car on. She’s still hugging her legs, still looking worried and she has a little pout that only appears cuter because of the red lip tint on her lips, “Baby.” he calls once, gently plucking one of her hands from her legs, “You’ll do great. You’ll be great.” she barely nods at him and he knows she’s mentally preparing herself for whatever it was that the night was going to bring.

He wasn’t upset by her silence, because he did see the smallest lift of her lips when she heard his voice, so he just kissed the back of her knuckles and kept her free hand interlaced with his, driving one handed to the address that Marcus gave them.

He had to admit it was quite a distance from their house, in fact from…a lot of places they knew. They neared a part of San Diego that smelled rich, it looked rich and well, it was pretty rich.

“This is the place where the Oda clientele live.” Beatrice tries to joke as soon as they are allowed to enter the gated community after the guy in front let them pass. Rooster chuckled softly, agreeing with her and both tried to contain their surprised stares when they rolled inside…because those houses were huge.

Beatrice leans closer to his shoulder when they drive past another one, “I think Meryl Streep owns this house.”

“Wouldn’t she live in LA?”

“I mean,I heard she had several properties…even in New York.” she muttered, propping her chin on his shoulder, “Do you think any of the Kardashians will be at this launch?”

“Maybe.” he says, “Does Marcus even like them?”

“...I don’t know,maybe.”

Rooster smiles back at her, gently rubbing the pad of his thumb on her jawline, “You’ll be okay.”

Beatrice makes a little noise on his shoulder, but her smile widens and he feels her thumb gently brushing against his knuckles. She nods, but then slowly lifts her head when she sees the immense line of cars leading up to a dark colored house with thick coconut trees surrounding it. She could see Hangman’s car, so that meant Evelyn was there too…and she also felt a shiver dart up her spine.

“Oh God…this is happening.” she whispers, “This is really happening,Roos.”

“It is gorgeous.”

"There 's no…turning back.”

Rooster feels her body straight as a rod against her seat, her eyes wide and brows furrowed as she quickly slips the sandals back on, “Baby.” she isn’t listening to him, she’s back in her focused state and he could only chuckle quietly as he rolls to a park, not so far from the entrance. He waits a bit with his hands on his thighs for Beatrice to say something, his wife instead lifts her hands in front of her body and he could see the slight tremble.

“...I’m shaking.’ she says, clenching her hands into fists, curling into herself on the seat, her forehead touching her knees and hair covering her face, “I feel like I’m going to throw up.” his large warm hand touches the bare part of her back, rubbing it in soothing circles and dragging his fingers up and down her spine, “Rooster….Is there anyone outside?”

Rooster tilts his head to the entrance, “A few, mainly security.” he mutters, “No one famous that I know of.”

‘Do you think we can get out?”

“I think so…do you feel ready to?”

She lifts her torso to give him a worried look, “I don’t think I have a choice anymore.” and she laughs nervously, her smile immediately disappearing into a blank look, “What am I doing?” she groans, sinking even more, almost hiding herself into the seat, her hands on her temples, “Jesus Christ,Rooster. What am I doing? I-I…this…I don’t–”

“Baby, baby listen.” he holds her hands,kissing her knuckles, “You are about to hyperventilate. It’s okay,I’m with you. We’ll go in there, keep to ourselves and leave if you feel too overwhelmed.” her lower lip wobbles a bit, “Hey, baby, pretty girl. Look at me.” he has to cup her chin to physically turn her head towards his, “You’ll be okay.”

“This isn’t my world, Roos.” she whispers, “I don’t know if I should be here.”

Her self doubt was screaming and he could see it. He was sure that she’s been triggered ever since early morning but now it was getting too hard to handle, “Baby, you deserve to be here…hell, you worked with Marcus, he likes you and is so thankful for you.” he sees her eyes flick to a group of skinny women walking past the car, their dresses beautiful and flowing with the wind, “...you are gorgeous, you are beautiful and you are deserving to be here.”

Beatrice looked so scared she couldn’t even reply, she just held her hands tight, knuckles going white with how strong her grip was, “I…” she looked back at the people, then towards Rooster, “I…okay…”

“Okay?” she nods quietly, not humming nor saying anything, mostly because she felt ready to cry at any second. He kisses her hand, then her forehead, keeping his lips there for a few seconds just so she could relax before he walks out of the car to open the door for her. He waits for Beatrice to take his hand, she hesitates, looking from him to the house then back at him, “You can do it.” he whispers, spreading his fingers as his hand got closer to her face, “You can do it, gorgeous. You did it this far.”

Beatrice chews her lower lip, eventually dropping her shaking hand to his and letting him pull her up. She tries to not bury herself into his chest when he does so, choosing to stay partially behind him with her eyes squinting because of the wind as he locks the door.

My my my, what are you doing here?

Oh no.

Wrong party, wrong place, wrong time. What do you think? That you are special?

She tries to ignore the goblin voice by rubbing her arms, creating an invisible shield around herself only to see more skinny models making their way to the house.

If you hurry, you can run off. No one will miss you, maybe not even Rooster.

She clenches her eyes, bouncing on the spot for a few seconds with her heels clicking on the ground. She then leans forward a bit, holding herself up by placing her hands on her thighs, smell the flower, blow the candle. Rooster stays in front of her, looking around like the watchful husband he was, glaring at anyone who seemed to stare at his wife for too long. His hand returns to her upper back, gently rubbing the skin “Come on,gorgeous.” he whispers, the cold of his wedding ring soothing her nervous and hot skin, “You can do it, just for a little while.”

“J-Just for a little while.”

He hated seeing her like this, but he was serious. They’d stay a little while, hell,even less if she got worse, “Yeah,gorgeous. Just for a little while. Can you do that?” Beatrice nods, slowly standing straight and sniffling a bit. She teared up just enough to form tiny splotches of eyeliner on the corner of her eyes, he wasted no time in gently wiping it away, “There you go, fucking beautiful.” she gave him a weak smile, “Okay…hold onto me.” she already clasped his hand, “Give me the invitations, you won’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

He knew she was too anxious to talk to anyone now, so she just opened her clutch to pull the light green papers out, “Thank you.”

“Anything for you,gorgeous.” she laughs softly when he says that, waiting for him to close the door and dropping the hand from hers towards her waist, bringing her closer to his side as they walk up to the entrance of that enormous house. It was beautiful, with several plants around the front, four large security guards that just looked around ominously to everyone that walked in, a teal colored light illuminated the inside.

Amazingly neither of them could hear anything from the inside, no music, no voices, just a subtle vibration of what could only be assumed was a beat. Beatrice looked at the ‘WELCOME’ mat below her feet as Rooster talked to the security guards outside, choosing to focus on how the letters curved up instead of anything else.

As the doors opened however, they were faced with a long illuminated hallway and the vibration only getting louder, with the distant echo of a song being played. Beatrice looked around the hallway, following the trail of lights that disappeared behind dark doors, doors that had doorhandles with golden ‘MB’ engraved into it.

Before either of them could open it however, they parted automatically and they were hit the music. It wasn’t that loud that’d break their eardrums but it was enough to vibrate on the floor. Beatrice however, stood still once she noticed the amount of people in there, her fingers digging in her clutch so hard she could hear the fake leather creaking, “Hrn..” was her disgruntled noise, shuffling almost behind Rooster, “T-There’s a lot of people.”

There wasn’t, but in her mind, it was enough.

“A few.” Rooster said, hugging her close to his side, his eyes moving around a bit until he noticed two people in the crowd, “I see Evelyn and Jake.”

She perked up, “Really?”

‘Yeah…think you can go there?” 

Beatrice looked over to where he gestured and nodded silently, “Yes,I think so.” she whispers, “I don’t see Marcus anywhere.”

“He’s probably mingling, it is his launch party after all.” Rooster comments, slowly walking forward with Beatrice glued to him.

Run, you should run. Before the doors close. Can you run that fast? Of course not, you’ll mess up Beatrice. You know you will.

She hated that this stupid voice returned now, right now when she was trying her best to get better. All it needed was a bigger social gathering than her reunion to make itself known again.

Run,run,run, that’s all you can do…that is, if you could do it.

“Shut up.”

“Huh?”

Beatrice’s head snap up towards Rooster, her husband giving her a worried look, ‘Oh,um…nothing just–”she gestures to her head with an awkward laugh, “It’s um…um…kinda messing with me.” and of course Rooster’s brows lowered because he knew how hard she’s being with herself.

She was going to have a good time, he was sure of it. And he was going to help.

“It’s okay, gorgeous. Is it quiet now?” he asks as he leads them through the sea of people to where their friends were.

“Kind of.”

“Just let me know if it gets worse.” he murmurs, kissing the top of her head and then her forehead, “I’ll snatch you away in a second.” and her little smile was enough for him to smile back, gently brushing his thumb over her lower lip. 

Evelyn was the first one who noticed them, slowly standing to her feet - Jake’s hands hovering by her sides and back - with a small grin, “You two got here fashionably late.” she said, her eyes immediately dropping to Beatrice’s deer in the headlights expression, it was obvious her anxiety acted up by the way she was looking around. She greets Bradley first, then immediately turns to Beatrice once he talks to Jake, “Are you okay?”

She gets a weak and shaky thumbs up from her friend.

“Are you sure?”

“Y-Yeah.I…I am just,” she turns her head when she sees someone walking by,”Is that Gigi Hadid?”

Evelyn looks up, “No she’s not here yet.”

“Yet??” Beatrice looks ready to pass out, her smile going from kind to nervous, “Oh…ahaha, she-she’s coming then.” she feels like her legs are wobbling so she holds onto Rooster to remain standing, “Oh that’s…that’s nice.”

Rooster stops the conversation to look at her, “You okay?”

“Gigi Hadid is coming.” she says, “To the party.”

“Really?” Beatrice holds onto his arm for dear life, “...you’ll be okay,gorgeous. You won’t be alone.”

Beatrice’s little laugh is the only thing he gets, followed by a squeeze to his arm. “Maybe I should get drunk- no that’s a bad idea.” she mutters, both Evelyn and Jake looking over at her, “It’s a bad idea. No I’m just…going to stay in this very spot. With you, not moving until the party is over.”

“I mean,” Evelyn comments, “We’ll still have to watch the launch,so…”

Beatrice’s face got even more desperate and she only clung to her husband tighter, “You know what, maybe I should get drunk.”

[lilredghost]

babyyyy im late but for the writing asks, 4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

49. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

63. Something you hate to see in smut.

64. Something you love to see in smut.

74. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

76. Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of any of your fics? 

Baby!! You're not late at all! As long as I keep getting questions, I'll keep answering! Some of these I did already, in which case I'll just link the previous answer

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

See here

49. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

Thankfully no! I want to say I would block the person and move on, but I know it would hit me hard if I got that kind of negative feedback. The roughest thing I've had to deal with is only a lack of engagement on occasion

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

Foreshadowing and Parallel phrases / repetition

63. Something you hate to see in smut.

BITTER ENDINGS. I hate it with a passion! Smut is meant to make you feel good, and people's emotions can be precariously fragile in the aftermath. Why would you hurt someone like this??

64. Something you love to see in smut.

Answered in this post. But also, in the same vein as #63, I love endings where the characters (if it's not already an established relationship) affirm that they seriously like each other or that they want to have sex again. That assurance really puts me at ease; it's sort of like a "happily ever after" for smut

74. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

Hmmm, this is really difficult actually. Maybe if I whump the fuck out of Obi-Wan? Or find a way to apply his infinite sadness even in a smut fic?? I'm not sure, but I think the way I repeat phrases (see #56) is probably a big one

76. Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of any of your fics?

Not for the E-rated ones, I think, because with those I was pretty happy with only establishing as much detail as I needed/wanted before getting into the porn. But for Their fragrance came from you, definitely! Here are a few:

Originally, Cal and Jaro Tapal were going to be in the courtroom to testify for Anakin's trial. This just sort of got cut because the courtroom scene was already a mess and I decided it didn't add much

Komari was going to be the one to reveal to the readers that Obi-Wan was an omega, instead of Feemor, and it was not going to be nearly as heartfelt! I changed it when I got to that chapter because I had added the fight scene between Komari and Obi-Wan, and it no longer made sense for them to be interacting there. It looked a little like this: “I’m just looking after you, dumbass.” Her brows draw together. “…you’ll be all by yourself over there.” “Again, Komari, I’m not—” “Obi-Wan, I’m not worried about him stabbing you through the gut,” she says sharply. “I’m worried about him finding out that you’re an omega.”

There was also originally a bit during the scene where Obi-Wan and Anakin paint divay in the square where Anakin gets pulled away to tell some kids about "The Tale of Two Suns". We're meant to hear the name of this fable in passing now (and maybe a cultural tidbit or two) and then get the actual text of the fable later in the fic. But that scene was so hard to put together that I couldn't make it fit... I'm trying to introduce the tale of two suns in a different place now, hopefully it works!

[okthatsgreat]

12, 13, 24, 25, 26, 29, 43, 74

For fanfic ask game because brain still go brrr about your work a lot :D

JORDANNNNNN SHAKING YOU GRABBING YOU SHAKING YOU

this ones gonna be LONG lol GONNA PUT THIS UNDER READ MORE :]

12. do you outline your fics?  if yes, how detailed are your outlines?  how far do you stray from them?

i try to lmfaoooo!!!! for opddmh for example, ive got the basic outline of how i want everybodys arcs to end, the climax of the story, and a vague idea of a few of the plot beats all written out in an empty discord server i use to keep track of things!! i also put in loose scraps of dialogues i daydream up even if im not quite sure where theyll fit in yet, just so if im really stuck i can scroll through and see if anything rings a bell!! there are QUITE a few emotional scenes already written out and ready to go

nothing is super detailed tho!! quite a bit of it is still on a chapter to chapter basis. while i have an outline its not always set in stone, for example there were a LOT of scenes i had scribbled down for odietlg and lgowab that didnt make the final cut!! i dont have the notes for odietlg but i do have them for lgowab bc theyre archived in that empty discord server i mentioned earlier lol. one idea from that story that got scrapped were all of the different endings coming from different peoples point of views (for example korekiyos pov, tenkos pov, kaedes pov) but that got scrapped bc i thought itd lessen the impact a bit. ALSO in one of the earlier drafts of lgowab a LOT more v3 kids were gonna be ahl members including tenko, but i thought it was more important to keep their numbers down to really emphasise how much danganronpa is dramatising their threat level lol! off the top of my head there were bits and pieces i scrapped from odietlg too but i wont go on and on about that LOLOL

oh and also there is an entire channel dedicated to miu that i still go back to sometimes LMFAOO

13. do you listen to music while you write?  if yes, what have you been listening to recently?

oh my god i cant listen to music while i write LMFAOO or at least not music with lyrics. if i really really need to write i will pull myself up by my pants sit down at my desk and stare at my screen in total silence until eventually my adhd meds wear off and i go to sleep

im mostly kidding LMFAO if i really need something in the background ill put on this playlist! if i need inspo sometimes i go to the fic playlists ive got on spotify :]

24. how do you choose whose POV to write in?

i choose based on who i think will tell an interesting story! going to be flat out honest with you, sometimes the povs i write from arent my favorite characters, but i think that their personal story would be a really good fit in what im trying to convey! tenko is probably one of the only exceptions considering the entire story is based around her surviving LMFAO even then that was mostly because i wanted to dissect her under a microscope for 42 chapters. emma and maki are like this too considering mask of my own face/run from your demons are oneshots :]

himiko and miu got chosen for lgowab mostly based on the fact that they had completely different stories to tell and i didnt want to choose two protags who were going through the same thing!! himiko strived for selflessness while miu struggled with morality and paranoia and i thought they would contrast well :] and oh my god let me tell you i did not expect to bring miu back for a whole other fic but i got ATTACHED shes such a mess.

everybody in opddmh were selected because they brought a range of different lifestyles/coping mechanisms to a post-game universe and they all have stories i wanted to explore!! makoto and being the poster child for hope and struggling with how others perceive him, mikans debate with her own morality and growing bitterness towards the company, and then of course akanes total refusal to be worried at all costs. byakuyas brief povs are to supply a more pessimistic view of their situation that parallels miu, which is why theyre always together during it. ive mentioned this in another ask from kozuelovemail but the v3 kids that stay alongside each pov were selected because they parallel the older participants in some way!!

and then of course. probably goes without saying but i do tend to choose female povs lmfaooo not only because I Am One but also because theyre just soooo criminally unexplored

25. what’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

well i can say its NOT editing LMFAOOOO this bitch does not edit!!!!!!!!!!!!! which you can probably tell!!!! i mean i give it a good glance and then send it off usually a lot of the edits are made when i wake up in the morning read over the chapter again and go "what the hell was i trying to say here"

brainstorming maybe???? i love Thinking. a lot of the times stories come to me in various scenes rather than one linear storyline and ive gotta grab them all from inside my head and mash them together. i also love brainstorming characters arcs and what their Deal is gonna be throughout it

and then writing of course. love writing. ive had to teach myself to kinda just type out a draft at first and to stop going back to edit, and then once i finish i go back and add extra or remove anything that sounds silly. writing on a good day is lots of fun!!!! ESPECIALLY when its scenes that im excited for/are high drama. like. those high drama scenes that ive been waiting to get down onto google docs dot com...... hell yea

26. what’s your least favorite part of the writing process?

PFFT WHOOPS already answered probably editing! its difficult for me to sit there and read over everything meticulously cuz my brain just does not want to thoroughly go through something especially if ive just completed it. which. most of the time as soon as i complete it and have gone back to add in extra/remove the silly bits i consider it done and i send it through LMFAO. thats on me for updating weekly tho!!! there are gonna be mistakes!!!!!!!!!! and yknow what ive learned to live with that this is a fanfiction i write for fun and i do this cuz i love writing :]

29. what’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

hgfdjkgshdk i always feel so bad like. praising my writing yknow? theres always going to be parts of it id change or want to go back on but if i had to choose something id probably say the characterisation? i try to put in a lot of effort in making these people feel more human and not as "larger than life" as they usually are, and i want every pov i write from to have flaws and things theyre good at and little quirks that make each of them stand out from each other. when i write characters i try to keep in mind the little things about them, like himiko twitching her nose or mikan having acne shes self conscious about, miu twirling her hair or makoto using novelty mugs instead of the more aesthetically pleasing ones. just tiny things that round them out as people :]

43. is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

ouhghggh..... not sure! im so so focused on opddmh rn if i think about anything else ill totally spiral away from it (im already doing that with the rp im in LMFAOOOO erin on the brain). there are a few things im excited to write for but thatd be spoiling >:)

73. do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

not really!!!! i know its such a corny fucking answer but genuinely people have been so so lovely on all of my fics. like some of the kindest people. and also people who have stuck around for a very long time!! theres one commenter mythgirl02 who has literally given me a comment on every single chapter on every single fic ive published mythgirl if youre out there..... i love you. and even if they dont comment on every chapter ive gotten commenters who have actually brought me tears YOU FUCKING INCLUDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and also lily if shes reading this their comments are always so so sweet

i write bc ive got stories i wanna get out of my brain and share!!!!!!! its fantastic that people click on them to read along!!!!! i really try not to worry too much about kudos or reads or anything like that, but the support has been very very lovely and its led me to some awesome communities :]]

JORDAN I FUCKING LOVE YOU FOR THIS <333 THANK YOU SM AND SORRY ITS SO LONG I LIKE TALKING

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