#im not posting as much but still around lol

[astrobydalia]

This is like very random but I’m working on a post about Scorpio Moon and I was thinking that Optimus Prime from Transformers is a good example of healthy Scorpio moon or at least his character reminds me of that energy for some reason

The way he was so skeptical of trusting humans at first because he was firm about protecting his people. And even after he saw not all humans were bad he only fully trusted those who proved themselves to him and his friends and he was always very careful and observant about the deals and alliances he’d make with others as well as their intentions. I think all of that is a very balanced manifestation of scorpio moons’ cunning and “suspicious” nature while still being empathetic as well as their deep protectiveness.

He’s also very mysterious like we hardly know any about this character but his people still trust him blindly as a leader cause he gives his friends hope that they can start over and keep going despite planet being destroyed and scorpio moons are good at mobilizing people through something emotional like that (rebirth)

Also this character’s personality revolves around war and this whole idea of survival and reinvention. Not saying scorpio moons are obsessed with conflict but they tend to live a tense life where they are forced to change and reinvent themselves otherwise they won’t “survive”

I didn’t wanna include this in the post that im doing cause Im not confident the interpretation is fully accurate or insightful lol and also I thought it was a random character to choose 😭

Also lmk if you want me to do this with more fictional characters cause I’m enjoying that very much!

[etherealyoungk]

— ✦ etherealyoungk's 2024 rewind!

i saw this going around so i thought i'd hop onto it and do a little appreciation post for 2024! this is going to contain my top fics, some stats, goals for 2025 and a little paragraph for all my lovely moots on here <3

— top three posts this year!

into the night - jeon wonwoo (with 1918 notes)

sugar & spice - jeon wonwoo (with 1536 notes)

new beginnings - jeon wonwoo (with 1287 notes) honestly didn't think people would like this concept so much haha and not all the top three being wonwoo fics lol.

— longest fic of 2024:

sugar & spice - wc: 29.2k

— shortest fic 2024:

wonwoo fluff drabble - wc: 438

— an unexpected fic in 2024:

love between the lines - chwe vernon (wc: 12k) i genuinely really enjoyed writing this fic. vernon isn't a member i write for often or find a little hard to write, so this was a nice challenge. i honestly don't thing i'd ever have written a long fic for vernon if it wasn't for the collab and i'm so glad i joined and wrote this because i had great fun with it and really happy with the outcome + seeing so many of you guys enjoy it makes me always happy ^^

— some of my fav reads:

tell me that you love me pt 1 & pt 2 by @wheeboo one of the best fics i've read this year honestly this was tooo good like THE joshua fic so everyone go read this right now.

what's wrong with secretary kim with soonyoung by @xinganhao this was the cutest fucking thing i've read and i need more ahhhhhh kae your work is top tier i love it sm.

rates of change by @wqnwoos hana i'm literally in love with you and your writing and ths fic was the cutest thing ever i adored every word and ate it up.

ex-conomics by @ugh-yoongi oml this fic was so fucking good i read it in one go on my bed and it was such an emotional rollarcoaster but you wrote it so well everything was just so so amazing one of my favs for sure.

here and now by @writingmeraki babe im in love with your spy gyu couple im not even kidding when i say i go reread this often like i love it so much okay and i love you.

burnt promises, second chances by @slytherinshua omg zanna please this fic it was so good you wrote it so so well i just loved everything about this and the concept was so cool too!

— milestones in 2024

writng an almost 30k fic bc that is insane to me i never thought i could do that but im so proud of that fic.

hitting 4.5k followers just before the year ends! that's honestly insaneee. i adore each and everyone who reads my work and leaves reblogs and feedback.

joining collabs and doing a collab for the first time was so new but also so exciting for me. hopefully in 2025 i can do more.

— goals for 2025

finishing all my incomplete wips!!! i really really want to finish all the wips i started and left hanging skgjsg bc they were really good ideas and i wanna put them out in the world for you guys to read as well!

try to interact with you guys more? i feel like i don't enough.

— a word to my mutuals <3

to all my mutuals i love and adore you guys so much and i still can't believe i'm actually friends with some of you insane guys i love yall so much and i love this silly little family i have on here, it means the world to me <3

@wheeboo rania i love talking to you and love how i can just come in your dms and be delusional and bounce off ideas with you. i love talking to you about anything and everything. you're seriously one of the best writers and i can't wait to see where 2025 takes us.

@fairyhaos yenaaa my love! i love talking to you and you're the sweetest and your fics are always so so good. i miss you but i hope you're doing well and taking care and uni isn't too hectic. always thinking about you fondly and sending hugs mwah mwahh

@writingmeraki pri the loml my wife i love you so so much. i love how became moots bc of this one post of yours and after that it's history and i just love talking to you about anything and how we just talk about anything and everything <3 i just love us so much. mwah mwah mwahhhhh

@strawberri-uyu nico my love! our convos are honestly the best and i miss you and i hope you're doing well and taking care of yourself bubs <3

@paindivinemp3 my dear maria! you're the sweetest soul ever and i love talking to you about life and things and it's always so nice to talk to you, it always feels like i'm talking to an elder sister 🥺 sending much love <3

@wqnwoos hana i literally adore you and your writing so so much and you're the sweetest kindest soul mwah mwah ily <3

@gyuswhore you're the coolest moot! you're so so talented, an amazing person and just the coolest!!

@jeonsupershy kashii i love talking to you about day6 and seventeen and i adore your gifs they're truly amazing and im so glad we got talking.

@ylangelegy kae omg i love your work it's so good especially your text imagines im in loveeee and plus i know we only started talking but it's so nice to meet another myday and carat and hopefully we talk more!

@gyubakeries tiyaa i love how you text me on discord and we have the most funny convos.

@fxstpace aspen omg new moot but you're so much fun to talk to i hope we talk get to talk more.

and all my other lovely moots that i adore: @blue-jisungs @slytherinshua @kyeomyun @hannyoontify

@weird-bookworm @lvlystars @icyminghao @cheolhub @rubywonu

if i missed anyone im so sorry but just know you guys are so loved by me!

@reikaryu @husbandhoshi @welcometomyoasis @babyleostuff

@odxrilove @holdinbacksecrets @husbandhoshi @naaaaafla

[bqu1nns]

im sorry i havent been posting, i feel like shit because ive been sick but i wanted to post this fic still ! someone requested a jealous!brian + sal sister trope because they liked it so much (thank you!) so here u go! whomever u are, i love u and it was awesome writing this. love u guys, i hope u are all safe and if i dont see u guys soon, happy new year ! my request box is open still if u guys want me to write anything specific AND i am open to writing for people who arent brian quinn lol !! hit me up ! toodles xx

daddy's girl 𐙚 brian q.

3219 words! my biggest one :3

the party was absolute chaos, which was what the vulcano’s were known for. well, mostly what sal was famous for. his apartment buzzed with energy, filled with people laughing too loudly and moving in and out of the hallways like it was some kind of jungle. you stayed by the hall, nursing a drink you didn't even like, your eyes doing what they’d been doing the entire night: tracking him. 

brian quinn. your boyfriend. or a friend you fool around with from time to time.

he was in the kitchen, leaning back against the counter like he owned the damn place. one hand holding a beer, his hand collecting liquid as his beer was getting warm, the other tucked casually into his pocket. he looked completely at ease. as if you didn't even exist to him. but you knew him better than that. you’d noticed the sparkle in his eyes when you walked in, the way his lips twitched like he wanted to grin but knew he couldn't. not here. not now. 

not with sal just across the room, playing host like he was the king of staten island. no one knew about the stolen kisses in dimly lit corners, the late night drives when you just couldn't keep your hands off of each other, or the way brian’s voice softened when he whispered your name in private when you belonged to him. the secret felt like it was fraying at the edges, waiting to be ripped off at any given moment. 

and then there was her.

she was standing almost too close, her body turned towards him like some damn flower bending to the sunlight. she laughed a little too loudly at something he said, her arm resting on his arm.

her arm resting on his arm. !!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

your stomach churned with something that you hadn't felt before, something that you couldn't even name, but it wasn't jealousy. no, that would be way too simple. it was something far worse.

it was possession. 

it hasn't always been this way—those stolen moments when no one was looking, when hands lingered just a second longer than intended, when his lips brushed yours like it was a secret between the two of you and no one else’s (which it was). but tonight? tonight was different. his gaze flickered across the room, catching yours for just a beat too long, but he didn't even move. instead, his attention slid back to the brunette, laughing like it didn't matter. like you didn't matter. 

you tried to look away, tried to focus on something—anything else. but the knot in your stomach tightened with every laugh he shared with her, with every gesture that seemed so familiar but so distant tonight. it made you want to scream. 

“hey,” someone said, his smile wide. “i don't think we’ve met. i’m jason.” you couldn't help but smile back, even if it was a little forced. “hi, jason.” you didn't want to seem rude to a polite man.

jason extended his hand and though it was unnecessary, you shook it anyway. his grip was firm, the kind of handshake rich people would have. “you must be new around here. i haven't seen you around at sal’s parties before,” he said, leaning casually. “i don't come to them often, he's my brother but they aren't really my scene. i just wanted to come to support him, i guess.”

his grin widened, teeth almost disturbingly white and flashy. “ah, one of those ‘too cool to party’ types, huh,” he teased, his tone light. “let me guess–you were dragged here against your own will?”

you laughed softly, amused by him now. “something like that.” jason leaned in slightly to whisper in your ear. “i'm sorry but i actually already knew you were sal’s sister,” his tone shifted to sound smug. your brows rose in mild surprise. “oh really? then why’d you ask..”

he shrugged casually, taking a sip of his drink. “just thought i’d have a little fun. but, actually, sal told me earlier. he mentioned you’d be here tonight and, uh…” his eyes flicked over you briefly. “suggested that i’d keep an eye out for you. said something about you not being a fan of these kinds of things.”

you blinked, the revelation catching you off guard. “he told you to keep an eye on me? how pathetic. sounds more like babysitting to me,” you scoffed at the thought. “hey, honestly, if he didnt say anything, i probably would’ve noticed you anyway.” you tilted your head, “oh really?”

“yeah,” he replied smoothly. “you don't exactly blend into the background, y’know.” it was a compliment, sure, but it landed a little too practiced. you rolled your eyes but a small smile tugged at the corner of your lips despite yourself. “thanks, i guess,” you said dryly. 

“no prob. so, what's it gonna take to make sure you dont bolt from this party in the next 5 to 10 minutes?” before you could answer, you felt it—an unexpected pressure against your side, like someone had bumped past you with purpose and undetermined effort. without warning, you felt brian. his shoulder collided with yours, hard enough to send you stumbling slightly. 

“mind if i borrow her for a few minutes, man?”

your heart skipped a few beats at the sound of brian’s voice—like warm honey mixed with something darker. he didn't even glance at jason, his eyes were on you, the intensity in them almost too irresistible to ignore.

without missing a beat, brian stepped forward, pushing past jason as if he wasn't even there. before you could even process what was happening, he had you pressed against the nearest wall, his hand bracing behind your head while his lips crashed into yours. the world seemed to blur all around you, the party, the noise, the eyes of anyone else—they all simply faded. it was just brian, the heat of his body against yours, the urgency in his kiss that made everything else matter significantly less. 

for a moment, you forgot about the idea of sal seeing the two of you making out on his wall, about jason, about the fact that you were pretty much in a hallway at a crowded party. even though a small voice in the back of your head screamed that this wasn't the place, you didn't even care anymore. brian’s chest rose and fell, his breathing heavy but his eyes burned with something between frustration and want. 

“you're impossible,” you whispered, but there wasn't a real bite in your tone. it came out much softer, breathless, as you tried to catch up with everything that just happened

“me? you're the one flirting with your brother’s idiot coworker,” brian shot back, voice rough, but his hands—one sliding up to cradle your jaw—was anything but harsh. “do you have any idea what that just did to me, sweetheart? watching him try to charm you, knowing damn well hes out of your fucking league? huh?”

you tried to come up with something clever, something biting, but all you could manage was: “then do something about it.” his eyes narrowed slightly, jaw tightening as if he didn’t hear you correctly. “let’s go,” you said, your voice steady as you grabbed him by his hand and started pulling him towards the hallway.

“where?” he asked, though there wasn't hesitation in the way he followed. you glanced back at him, biting back a laugh. “the bathroom. we need to talk.” he let out a disbelieving laugh but you didn't ignore the excitement in his eyes. “talk, huh?”

the moment the bathroom door clicked shut behind the two of you, the muffled sounds of the party fell away, leaving only the sound of your own raging heartbeat roaring in your ears. you turned to face brian, who already had his arms leaning back against the sink, a grin tugging his lips. 

his gaze was relentless, dragging over you in a way that felt like he could see straight through every wall you’d built around yourself. “you're gonna tell me what the hell that was out there?” his voice was low, the kind of tone that left no room for denial. “what do you mean?” you shot back, though your voice came out more innocent than you intended. 

brian tilted his head, his tongue running over his bottom lip like he was trying to stay cool and calm, though you could feel his restraint unraveling right in front of your eyes. “don't play cute with me, doll. you know exactly what i'm talkin’ about. jason.”

you bristled, stepping closer to him, your heart flaring up again. “oh, so it's my fault now? you've been busy charming every single girl in the room except me, but the second someone so much as talks to me, you act—”

“like you're mine?” he interrupted, his voice sharp enough to cut through you. he pushed himself off the sink, coming towards you. “yeah, i do. because you are.” your breath caught in your throat, but brian wasn't finished. 

“do you have any idea what it's like to stand there and watch some dickhead try to put his hands in your pants?” his voice softened but his words burned hotter by the minute. “you smiling at him, letting him think he could take you home for the night? do you know what that did to me?”

his words hit you like a large swell, stealing the air from your lungs. “i don't want anyone else looking at you like that, touching you,” he continued. “not when i know what's mine. and you are, baby. dont even try and deny it.” you swallowed hard, his words making your pulse thunder in your ears. “brian i’m s–”

his thumb traced your delicate jaw, his touch gentle. “say it,” he urged, almost pleading. “say you're mine.” your heart pounded, all your defenses crumbling under one blow; under the weight of his words and the intensity in his longing gaze. “i'm yours. only yours,” you admitted, the confession falling from your lips like some secret you could no longer bear to keep. 

you opened your mouth to respond even more but brian didn't give you the chance. his lips were on yours again, this time slower, deeper, like he was trying to memorize every part of you. the kiss’s tenderness made your stomach do somersaults. your hands found their way to his shirt, fisting the fabric as he pressed closer, the heat of him overwhelming in such a small space. his teeth grazed your bottom lip, you let out a soft moan that seemed to spur him on, his hand slipping to your waist to pull you even tighter against him. 

“god, you have no idea what you do to me, baby,” he moaned against your lips, voice husky, laced with raw need. “do’ya feel that? it's all because of you,” he murmured, placing your hand on his hard bulge, grinding against your hand. his lips moved to your jaw, pressing soft, open-mouthed kisses along the curve until he reached your neck. the sensation sent a shiver down your spine, and you tilted your head, letting him get more access as he nipped and sucked sweet hickeys along your sensitive skin just below your ear. 

“brian.. i need you,” you whimpered, your voice trembling equally with desire and disbelief. he hummed in response, his lips curving into a smile against your sweet skin. “say it again,” he murmured, his hand unbuttoning your shirt, his fingers shaky. 

you swallowed hard, your hands moving to the back of his neck, pulling him closer. “i need you so bad right now.. do whatever you want,” you pleaded, the words barely audible over the sound of your own heartbeat and shared breaths of desperation. 

“fuck, youre so goddamn beautiful, baby,” he growls, his large hands cupping your breast as he takes in the sight of your heaving chest. you gasp at the sudden contact of his warm hands, arching into his touch as he kneads the soft flesh. “need to be inside of ya, doll. i need to feel your tight little pussy wrapped around my cock. ”, he sounds desperate and needy. “m’gonna make you feel so good baby. not gonna stop ‘til you're screaming my name.”

he lifts you onto the sink, spreading your legs as wide as he steps between them. his hands tremble slightly as he unzips his jeans, his fingers fumbling with the button in his haste to get them off. i bet his cock hurts so bad right now. he shoves his pants down his legs, kicking them aside as he steps out of them. his boxers follow quickly, revealing his hard, throbbing cock, the tip already glistening with pre-cum. 

he wraps his large hand around his shaft, his fingers squeezing tightly as he pumped himself up and down, his eyes locked on your almost-naked form in the mirror. he spits into his palm, rubbing the saliva all over his cock, making it glisten in the harsh bathroom light. 

his hands slide down your sides, fingers dripping beneath the waistband of your skirt. he tugs it down along with your pretty laced panties, letting them pool at your ankles. the cool feeling of the sink hits your bare skin, making you shiver with anticipation. brian steps closer to you, his rough fingers parting your slick folds. he rubs your clit in rough, quick circles. “fuck, how’re you wet for me baby? such a needy little girl, aren't you…me getting jealous, did that excite you or somethin’?” he chuckles to himself, his voice vibrating to my core. 

“fuck– fuck no. was thinkin’ of taking him home, actually”, you moan softly as the heat spreads all over your body. his fingers curled deeper inside you, the squelch of his fingers fuck into you, fast and deep, the answer was quite enough. “mmph okay, tell me sweetheart,” he murmured, his lips brushing past the corner of my mouth, he's teasing. “would he have you sprawled out on your brothers sink, already fucked out just by his fingers? would he have let you cum on his fingers?”

you're panting now, brian’s name leaving your lips in a wave of whines and moans. brian drinks it all in, his hand leaving your clit to pinch at your nipple. “c'mon sweetheart, you can tell me anything,” he says, cockily and sweet all in one. 

“you–aah!–drive me fucking insane. you think i wanted that prick?” you whispered, your voice trembling with need. “you think i was smiling at him because i wanted him to fuck me, to mark me as his? you–shit–couldn't be more wrong, brian.” 

brian's fingers slow for a moment, twisting so he can thumb at your nipple before he continues his motions. you cry out, eyes shut closed, hips bucking forward. you want more, if that was even humanly possible. you're not sure if you can handle more. your eyes struggle to stay open, but when you open them, you catch the flash of brian’s pleased grin–fixated on your dumb-fucked expression before he focuses back between your thighs. 

“such a pretty pussy,” his fingers never spotting their relentless thrusting on your clit, “i bet jason would've loved to see me pounding into this tight hole. hear you screaming my name, begging for me. fuck, i bet he’d cum so hard,” his words were filthy. he was marking you, claiming you as his own. god help you, you loved it. 

“it's the fact that i can't stand the thought of anyone else touchin’ you, baby, lookin at you, even dreaming about you. you're mine. y-you've ruined me for anyone else. always you, baby. always.”

his words seem to steal your breath. you turn your head to kiss him. you both pour everything you have into it. he positions himself up, the head of his fat cock nudging at your entrance. he spreads your puffy lips apart as he slowly sinks into your heat. an inch, then another, until your walls were stretching beautifully around him. “fuck me… youre so tight. gonna take all of me, aren't you?”

you gasp at the sudden fullness, “brian… there's probably a line out there, they’ll hear us!”, you cry, tears bubbling. brian is quick to shush you, using his big hand over your mouth to muffle your moans. his hips snap against yours as he pounds relentlessly into you. the sink below you rattles with each powerful thrust, the lewd sound of skin slapping against skin mixing with the distant music. “you did this to me, now you're goin’ to have to deal with it, princess,” he leans down, capturing your lips in a bruising kiss as he angles his hips to hit that spot inside you that makes you go insane. your legs begin to shake, he can feel your walls fluttering as he drives you closer and closer to the edge. 

your cheeks burn fiercely as brian’s hot breath ghosts over your lips, you guys are practically forehead to forehead together, spewing filth as he rams his thick cock into your hole over and over. the squelching of your mixed juices has your ears ringing and your thighs shaking. just as you were about to cum, there was a loud banging on the other side of the door, none other than your brother. “whoevers in there, hurry the fuck up!” 

“i’m busy here, sal!” brian called out, voice straining as he's too focused on making you cum. he knew you were close. “gonna fuck you so good, you’ll be feeling me for days.” you moan at that, arms sprawled onto his bare back. “fill this pussy up with your cum, mark me as yours, please” you seeth. your words are like a drug to him, spurring him on. you meet his thrusts, your manicured nails digging into his back as you cling to him, the pleasure building and building. “bri! oh god, brian, gonna cum on your cock!” he pounds into you harder, “let me feel this pussy squeeze me. fuck–fuck– gonna fill you up, make you mine. you can cum, you've been a good girl.” he’s talkative alright. 

that's all it took before you're gushing around brian’s dick. you think you screamed, biting down way too hard on his hand that was covering your mouth. he lets out a low whimper, spraying your walls with his warm cum. he sinks his teeth into your warm shoulder in attempts to cover his sounds as he comes. he doesn't stop thrusting and bucking his hips into yours, riding out both of your orgasms.

he looks completely fucked. you both do. your hair is a mess and you just realize all the hickeys you left on his chest, bright and red. brian smirks at the state of you, noticing how you both have to get out of the party looking like this. 

“i hate you,” you mutter as you try to catch your breath. he laughs, wincing when he pulls his sensitive cock out of you. “yeahhh sure,” he says as he puts his jeans back on and zips his fly back up. 

“you need to wear this dress more often, baby.” he says as he presses a few kisses to your cheek, and also a light smack to your butt. you don't respond with words, only an annoyed huff as you get down from the sink to put your dress back on. 

you hope this dress is long enough to cover up the stream of brian's cum traveling down your thighs for the rest of the night.

--

𖹭 happy new years !!! and thank u all so much for 200 followers <3

[bunnieswithknives]

Fop redesigns for funsies but also bcs I saw some star heel boots and had to put Dale in them immediately.

[lightnersdream]

i've been thinking about exactly why people portraying one of the other crew members successfully killing Jimmy as a "for what you did to Anya" kind of thing rubs me the wrong way a bit and it's because like..... this is just another form of taking agency away from Anya, in a way. it's kind of framing her as some meek, shivery woman-thing who's entirely at the mercy of the men around her, either to hurt her or save her.

(i understand these are mostly for wish fulfillment on the audience's behalf because everyone would like to see Jimmy pay for his crimes. whether or not this is the intention of the person writing it isn't really relevant, characterization happens with or without intent. i feel like it misses the point by portraying it as an 'ideal ending'.)

because... Anya is a capable person. she takes things into her own hands when she can. it was partially(?) her idea to get into the cargo,

(before he interrupts her.. remember when she interrupted Curly in the dead pixel segment?)

it was her idea to get the code scanner from the cockpit,

it was her idea to get the medication from behind the foam.

(the chance to do these things herself is not given to her.)

she'd been keeping Curly alive for months in a critical state somehow, her psych evaluations at the start are only so useless because Jimmy refuses to take it/her seriously and Curly is obviously biased when he puts it into his own hands. he's known him a long time, like he said. "I'll just put good for that one."

there's not a lot of material to work with because of how the game is framed, but it's there. we are working with two very biased perspectives and neither one lends Anya what she deserves

there's significant changes in how she speaks post- and pre- crash, and depending on who she happens to be talking to. i recommend re-reading her dialogue, because the difference is drastic

she acts the way she does around Jimmy because he has tangibly done horrible things to her, is actively hostile, and physically could not escape him by any means. she can't take away Curly's agency herself, in my eyes. you have to remember that Especially in the post-crash segments of the game, it's entirely from Jimmy's POV, and he obviously does not (and has never) thought very highly of her or treated her with a shred of respect

i've seen a general idea that she can't bear to hurt other people for any reason, but that doesn't really track to me. this is the real point of the post by the way

it seems based on the parts where she says she struggles to give Curly medication. "It just hurts him so much, I can't stand the noise." "It makes me nauseous."

it's not really the same thing as, say, hurting someone in self defense

this sounds like she did want the gun itself. this never felt worded like someone who would refuse to, at very least, threaten Jimmy with a gun, with violence. if she had been given the agency to make that decision on her own. she wasn't though

she still tries to reclaim some of it even as she's denied it

by the end she's still trying to keep that gun out of his hands

i think some people overly soften her, for similar reasons the game itself is trying to comment on. she's not a tender victim who couldn't cause pain to another out of the softness of her soul, she's a person who's had every last bit of agency ripped from her repeatedly until she couldn't take it anymore. that's the point. that's why framing her that way, "needing" someone to save her, is odd to me

she didn't need Curly to save her, she needed him to take responsibility

she didn't want to escalate things, but she's not an idiot. self defense was absolutely on her mind

but who knows im just saying shit *smiles serenely*

[puppyeared]

hello every nyan

fan character for Laika's Comet, by @catmask (go check it out!!)

[voidpunker]

psst hey hey do you want to see a wip :3

[foolsocracy]

I can't help but notice you haven't posted any angst in a while and I'm suspicious

whipped this one up just for u anon

[bbb-bbbbbbb]

touched up some daisy, daisy fanart i made at least a year ago but never got to post

[cajunfoxnight]

Reconstruct is very much apprehensive when it comes to any type of affection, since its often felt like it came with a price. Wish, however, is dedicated to only love and affection towards his partner, and more than patient with him because of it. Saw this on twitter and went "yep, thats basically their relationship in a nutshell"

[can-of-slorgs]

The other researchers are also here! (magical edition!)

[arsenicflame]

ANGELA/SERA FROM THE MARVEL SNAP HERO ANIMATIC

[b4kuch1n]

fuck it sk8 sketches from da sketchbook. get sk8ed idiot

[icewindandboringhorror]

"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"

I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming

[skrunksthatwunk]

idk if i've discussed it before (i have certainly THOUGHT about it) but someone on my kuwa suffering ep 89 comp mentioned it and i just had to go off about it like. ok. sensui tells yusuke something along the lines of "you heard itsuki" when itsuki's inside the uraotoko, implying that not only can sensui hear those inside the uraotoko, but that he expects yusuke to be able to as well. which means that yusuke Almost Certainly Heard And Kind Of Ignored kuwabara's prolonged mental breakdown and wailing about how much he needs yusuke to live etc. which. guHHH i hate him yusuke you ass but also listen.

the only acknowledgement yusuke gives to this (if any) is when he says something like "sensui you're sooo fucking cooked this plan's going perfectly (my friends are going to get strong and kill you when i die)." he's trash talking to sensui, ignoring the others because, i think, he doesn't want to acknowledge what he's doing to them.

yusuke is explicitly recreating the experience he had with kuwabara's "death" at the hands of toguro, complete with the announcement of intent (and power) to kill, the inability to impede the threat in any way (barring a power-breakthrough), and the target in some way racing towards/volunteering for their death. yusuke learns through doing, and through tough love-style approaches. it's only effective if it hurts. watching kuwabara die like that was devastating to yusuke, but it sure as hell fucking worked. he beat toguro because of that maneuver. so even if he has to (re-)traumatize his friends in the process, this method will make his friends stronger, and he feels confident in that. but he never had to live with the consequences of kuwabara's death, not really. that's something hiei makes clear before they enter the cave as well, that there are no fake-outs ready to make him or anyone else stronger. the only deaths here will be real. the only power gained will come at a high, permanent cost. hiei's warning is an attempt to keep everyone alive, to keep yusuke from being stupid. and then yusuke decides to take that fatality into his own hands, but it's kind of his friends who would pay the price. he's going to make them live through the days, months, years without him, the actual permanency of loss (assuming they survive for that long), something he never experienced with kuwabara (a new facet of that traumatic scenario), AND he's escaping the emotional fallout of this choice through death. he doesn't have to see them mourn, won't get yelled at, won't watch them fail to move on. he's tapping out and choosing to believe they'll be fine.

but i think he feels guilty. just a little. i mean, yusuke couldn't even believe that people cared about him enough to want him alive in episode one. he's staked everything on his friends, which means he still kind of... doesn't value his own life, at least not compared to theirs. but he believes his friends love him and want him around, and we know that because he has to, or else he wouldn't make a plan that depends entirely on that love. he is actively leveraging the care he doesn't think he deserves, trying to hurt them in a way he is intimately familiar with (only worse), for.... what, exactly?

this is kind of my sticking point tbh. i don't think the answer is... super clear, but let's start with what it's not.

yusuke is not doing this because it is the most practical way to save all of humanity; that would be the mafukan, which he stopped. it could be a gamble to save all of his friends? the mafukan strategy would guarantee koenma's death/eternal imprisonment, whereas this strategy gambles all of humanity on the chance that his friends come out of the Easy Break Oven strong enough to avert the end of the world. if the sacrifice of even one friend is completely intolerable, perhaps he'd accept those slim odds and their steep consequences. yusuke tends to take risks like that, especially when he's got fight-induced tunnel vision. he doesn't think things through too much; his schemes are usually dependent on surprising his enemy enough to oneshot them. truthfully, i think this is the closest we'll get to an answer, and it's a more conventional one for this kind of story. but there is another layer i haven't been able to get from my mind.

i think yusuke is gifting each of his friends an honorable warrior's death.

so, in case it needs saying, yusuke, kuwabara, kurama, and hiei all (at least once, if not several times) exhibit a desire to die in combat in a way they deem noble to give their lives purpose (usually by self-sacrifice, but sometimes by another metric of honor, like hiei's duel with shigure and his desire to die in mutual defeat against an evenly matched opponent; or even kurama's decision to fight shigure in his human form, displaying a sort of passive suicidality via placing being true to himself in this (somewhat symbolic/inconsequential) way over survival). they need to make their lives count for something, because they feel guilty for being alive (kurama and hiei feel guilty for their past actions (hiei's is most evident in his distance from yukina, though that's not its primary reason), hiei, kuwabara, and yusuke have all been ostracized and made to feel like burdens on/unwanted by their caregivers and general society; all four of them have felt profound isolation even from their loved ones (yusuke and hiei are rather obvious; kurama can never tell his mother about the majority of his life nor what she truly means to him in the context of it; and kuwabara is separated from his peers for his spiritual awareness and his "stupidity" (plus his parents aren't around? and he is Desperate to define manhood/manliness through a broader pop cultural one which includes the warrior sacrifice thing bc he has no male role models BUT that's for another post) (i will admit kuwa's the most tenuous one here irt isolation)). they want to die for a cause so badly it's actually physically painful to me. it is passive suicidality, and they define their lives and identities by their relation to, engagement with, and skill at doing violence, etc. they live to die by the sword. anyway. nobody talks about it but i think it's very important to understanding what yusuke's doing here.

because i think he knows that about himself and his friends. they're kindred spirits. at the very least he knows this about kuwabara, who literally made a speech about this before diving into toguro's fingers In The Event That He Is Recreating Explicitly. he is dying nobly like they all want to on the chance that they'll get to break out and fight sensui rather than dying without even getting to take a swing. it's about his pride and theirs. but i don't think yusuke necessarily believes they'll win. he knows better than anyone how strong sensui is, and how wide the gap is between sensui and team urameshi. his stated position that humanity is doomed and that he doesn't care about its fate is, i think, not completely genuine, but if we take it at face value, he's not killing himself so that his friends can survive the end of the world. something's going to come around and kill them eventually. he's doing it so they can survive long enough to fight sensui. he needs them (specifically kuwabara) to be strong enough to free themselves to begin round two. but he's given up on their side winning, on humanity surviving, on his own victory---why should he think his friends are capable of winning? this could be another case of yusuke's fight-blinders. it could be another gamble, more blind faith put in his friends. but honestly it reads more to me that yusuke's giving them a chance to die together on the battlefield. them winning would be great, but it's not his goal. it's a pipe dream.

he knows he's going to be killed. they're probably going to be killed, too. but to make it so they last a little longer against sensui, to make the odds a little more even, so they are killed not like livestock, but like worthy fighters, he'd die a little faster. it's the best kind of death someone like them can have; and he'll deprive himself of it just to make their ends a little sweeter. even if the road to that is far more bitter.

but it's not like yusuke's friends know what he's thinking or agree to it, and he can't exactly make his case for it in the moment. he's making that choice for them. whatever his intentions, whatever odds he thinks they have of beating sensui, he's kind of sealing all of their fates. so how the hell is he supposed to acknowledge kuwabara screaming at him not to die, trying desperately to express what yusuke means to him in what could be their final moments together? this plan is going to hurt his friends terribly. it is already doing so, and he can hear it. his choices to stop koenma from using the mafukan and to die for his friends' strength are both selfish in some way, no matter how you read the scene. if yusuke comforts kuwabara, he might not get strong enough. if he twists the knife, well... how could he forgive himself? and either way by responding he would have to face them all and say yes, i'm doing this regardless of your feelings (with the intention of hurting you). so i think he does what he often does. he avoids it. he lets that emotion glance off him and his bravado and his one-liners so he doesn't have to deal with the fact that he's hurting people, that he's scared and guilty and unsure of himself. that he's about to die again, about to put kuwabara through the grief he saw at his wake again, only worse; about to put his quieter friends through something similar.

yusuke is confronted with the responsibility one has to the people who care for them, and he runs from it in an attempt to give them some small peace. just like when he died before and thought hey, at least my mom and keiko won't be burdened by me anymore. because the only thing he can really do for them is die.

[monstersinthecosmos]

not for anything but friendly reminder that ~fandom discourse~ about where women belong (or people you perceive as women) is misogynistic as fuck. or what they're allowed to say, or what they're allowed to write about, or what they're allowed to enjoy.

next time you see someone having a tantrum and vaguing, especially if their posts from week to week completely contradict each other, perhaps analyze if the common denominator is "a gross woman said something and now i'm mad" without otherwise adhering to any actual principles.