#im not jealous of dog
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i love this genre
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she doesn’t know what an email is
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Hi!! It’s my first time requesting something so I dont know how that works.. um I was thinking of some mission like some kind of ball that dazai and y/n has to go and y/n has to seduce someone to get information out of them. You know those masquerade balls? Yeah I think that really goood!! And dazai gets sooooooooo jealous and after she got the information dazai kiss her infront of that person to show him that she’s his😭😭😭😭😭😭omg
HIII angel sorry this took me a while, but i hope you like it :') i tweaked your idea a lil and fingers crossed this is what you so graciously asked for. i tried to put my best jealous goofy ass dazai in there along with the absolute MUSH his brain turns into when he has you to himself mixed with a lil........ fucked in the headness. i love requests! this was soooo fun to write i love youuuuuu <3
~ a little something about Dazai and his uncharacteristic jealousy ~
"Osamu, come on... You're my only sweetheart, you know that."
You call out half sweetly and half out of breath as you follow him down the hallway of the lavish event you were currently attending, dressed to the nines and trying to remain undercover. You were coming to realize why people didn't date within the workplace as he walked ahead, grumbling to himself. He's trying to remain unfazed, pretending to still be upset as he shrugs with his back turned to you.
"Hmph. I dunno, I don't feel like I'm your 'sweet' anything..."
This causes you to roll your eyes affectionately and pick up the pace, placing a hand on the back of his shoulder to finally stop him in his tracks. You flash him a sincere smile, and speak softly.
"I'm really sorry you had to see that. I didn't know that asshole was going to kiss me after he let me go. I also didn't think you'd ever get jealous..."
You say that last part with a more playful tone, treading dangerous waters of your unpredictable lover's emotions. As expected, he sighs dramatically, casting you a look of disgust.
"Ugh, of course I'm not... That's honestly sooo lame and pathetic. I can entertain jealousy as much as I can entertain one of Kunikida's little speeches on morals, or whatever."
"You mean his 'ideals'?"
You chide, stifling a laugh. He glares at you, his eyes narrowing as he scans you for a moment.
He can't find a single flaw on that precious face, not a single stray hair or stain on your exquisite outfit. He should change that by the end of the night.
"... You're always so negative, correcting me and whatnot. Isn't it tiring being so irritatingly superior in every way?"
This one gets a laugh out of you, You can tell he's slowly lightening up his mood by the way you both begin walking side by side once again.
"Yeah well, if it weren't for that little kiss earlier, we'd both still be all tied up in the wine cellar of this wonderful party."
He flashes you a pout, and shrugs dismissively.
"And here I thought you of all people would like the idea of being tied up with me. Hmph, wrong partner, I suppose."
Now he was starting to pick back at you, though it was cute. Jealousy looked cute on him, it was something you didn't think he was capable of. It was a pity it had to be during a mission where your main asset was your seduction skills and his was mental instability. You hated every second of it, but you also wanted to make sure you both made it out with the secret intel alive.
You make your way into the grand ballroom, the gala is in full swing, and your eyes dart around to find a proper escape route. Just as you see an exit, a handsome and well dressed young man blocks your view, sticking his hand out.
"Hi. You're gorgeous. Care for a dance?"
You stare down at his hand and then back up at the stranger, your face flushing as you're caught off guard.
"Me? No, no I-"
Dazai immediately interjects, sloppily holding a glass of champagne that somehow manifested in his hand and pretends to be drunk. He loved his theatrics, especially when he was desperate.
He bumps harshly into the young man's shoulder, the alcohol sloshing out of the cup as he slurs, but not before he flashes you a wink to tell you to play along.
"Sooo sorry, pardon me. This indeed beautiful angel is quite busy you see... Taking care of me that is. Ooh, I'm a wreck! I'm nothing but a sad and lonely dog.. In this sad and lonely world-"
The man looks at Dazai skeptically, and huffs into a chuckle. He shoves him away, and turns his attention back to you. Your eyes dart nervously between the two, wondering what Dazai will do next.
"Shut it, clown.. Anyway, I think this further proves you should be in the company of a gentleman like me tonight rather than this wet mop-"
The sound of a champagne flute soaring through the air and connecting to the man's skull is suddenly heard, interrupting him and sending him falling to the ground along with broken glass and liquid everywhere. In one swift motion, Dazai is at your side with a premature victorious smirk, but before you can both be on your way, the man regains his posture and spins him around, punching him square in the face. Dazai's not scrawny or weak, but he isn't the most skilled fighter, relying mostly on his special ability and intelligence to get him out of things.
You gasp, instinctively grabbing Dazai by the collar of his suit and dragging him away to get lost in the crowd of concerned people. You finally make it outside and you both collapse onto the soft grass just outside the venue. It's decorated with all kinds of flowers and fragrant rose bushes, it almost looks like you're at the garden of Versailles. You look over at Dazai, his nose bleeding all over the place, but he looks completely unbothered by it. As you reach over to touch the bridge of his nose, he grabs your wrist and holds it away gently. He waves a finger at you.
"No touchy, I've got it."
He does not, in fact, got it. He looks around until he plucks a rose petal and uses it to wipe his nostrils. You frown, getting all up in his space within an instant.
"What on earth are you doing, Osamu? Let me help, you goofball. Your nose is a mess thanks to that stunt you pulled."
You tear off a bit of fabric from your outfit and dab his skin tenderly, holding his head on your lap now. You can see some blood has trailed down his neck, staining the bandages there along with the collar of his crisp white dress shirt you picked out for him this morning. Dazai perks up, his voice slightly strained but full of lightheartedness.
"How does it feel to work with the agency's most tactical and covert operative? Eh?~"
You bite back a smile, and shake your head. You murmur.
"Feels like he's asking for a death wish a little more than usual."
Your lips soon become a thin line, realizing your statement hurts a little more in the context of the situation than it usually would. He notices your mood shift as his eyes flicker from your concerned eyes down to your lips and back up again. He knows it hurts you when he's like this, reckless and acting out on the impulses of his own plans. He wants to sit up and close the gap between you, kiss you until you drop down those brave walls you're putting up for the sake of the mission. For the sake of your feelings for him. He knows he's careless with it all.
He hums, eyes trained on you as if burning the image of your heavenly self into his mind, where you always deserve to be. In the distance, a bulky sketchy looking man runs out of the venue frantically, looking around wildly and you both get the impression it's the guy from the cellar earlier who kissed you in exchange for your freedom.
Shit! You could have sworn you knocked him out cold. Dazai sits up from your lap and you two scoot more into the bush, trying to hide from him as he makes a call. You mutter under your breath, turning to Dazai as you begin to type something out on your communicator.
"Now's the perfect time to let the others know we're ready for extraction."
He's already looking at you, or gazing admiringly more like. He knows he can fuck up everything, pay any consequence, but the thing he needs to get right for the selfishness of his wretched little heart is you. He scoots a bit closer, hearing the sounds of both your shallow breaths harmonizing. He mutters, softly.
"It would also be the perfect time for you to kiss my face better. You know, for my wellness and all that. Besides, that guy wasn't very nice to us earlier and we need to get rid of any traces of him from those lips. Yuck."
You roll your eyes yet again, despite the fluttering that won't let your stomach rest.
"Who cares about that, we have a case to close first."
He smirks, voice dropping low and provocative.
"I care."
He leans in even further, practically caging you with both arms on either side of you. He can feel your breathing become more erratic, his own filled with a pathetic sense of need he always has when he's with you. Dazai's hand reaches out and grabs your chin, turning it up slightly to face him, making sure you drop this silly act once and for all. His voice comes out gentle, firm.
"I need you to physically push me away, or I swear I'm going to kiss you right now, cutie."
Your eyes widen as you let a shaky breath escape your plush lips, murmuring in return.
"I'll.. punch you in the nose again, you know..."
His hand moves from your chin to the side of your face, cupping your cheek as he takes another breath, his body aching to be as close to yours as possible. His eyes are fixed on you, tearing you apart right then and there, but not before putting you back together so nicely. In that moment, he knows you don't mean that, and he knows he can't resist anymore.
He then whispers with a finality, the anticipation torturing him like you do on a daily basis.
"I don't think I'm going to listen to that..."
You break into a faint smile as you perceive him back.
"You've still got a little blood on your-"
Without another word, Dazai closes the remaining distance between you and him, kissing you with fervor as his soft whines reverberate against your lips. You taste sweetness and then... metallic as your lips mesh together for a heavenly moment. He feels alive, this was what he needed, the soothing balm for his soul and any other wound only you could provide. He's like a vampire, a parasite leeching off of your very essence so he could be himself around you. Cowardly burrowing into the safety of your heart. You squirm just a tad, your fingers carding through his brown hair as you try to keep up. He pulls back after his nose can't push more air through and keeps his lips hovering over yours, feeling the heat from your mouth mingle with his as he sees your lips stained red with his blood. Just as he's going to comment on how disgustingly erotic it is to see you like that, he pushes away the indecent thoughts, using the bandage on his wrist to wipe your mouth instead.
"Okay, I'll be good for now. You can call for extraction.~"
It was a dumb thing to do and could be seen as him being territorial or jealous, but the reality of it was that it was the natural order of things when it came to the way he processed his affections. Someone gets in between the two of you in any way?
An uglier and more dangerous past version of himself would have called for an immediate execution, there was a reason he held the titles that he did. He did his very best to keep that mentality at bay, rebuking it every time he felt a dark urge that he felt needed to be dealt with, mostly for your sake and for the sake of the promise he made to a friend once. Though he can't lie and say that's not who he is anymore, he can always find a better way to get his point across... even if a wishful bullet to the head comes out in the form of a kiss on your precious lips. He'll try for you. He'll wear the fastidious label proudly and be Dazai, a jealous man.
#im going to hell and so is freaky obsessive dazai on a mission with U#he is 100% a jealous man and he wilk never admit to it because for him jealous just means murder#and to not have to go that far he has to accomodate dumb archetypes and labels like JEALOUS ewww#in his mind he has to be a good boy and he chooses his battles#you being the biggest of them all#i hope u guys like the way i wrote his loser in love ass dazai with irrational lovesick thoughts and CANONICALLY THEATRICAL PLANS#i don't like toxic masculinity and i just dont think dazai thinks of this in that way it's more of like. nothing should ever touch you#to dazai he knows you love him and doesnt need to exploit that fact but he WILL find a bonkers way of dealing with it in his own way wjdje#my ex port mafia male wife#bungou stray dogs#dazai x reader#osamu dazai#bsd dazai#dazai x you#osamu dazai x reader#bsd x reader#dazai imagines#osamu dazai fluff#dazai fluff#ada dazai#anon#requests#asks#gn reader#bungo stray dogs#dazai osamu#fanfic#drabble
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deadclaws where Logan is not at all, shut the fuck up why would you say that, jealous of the attention Wade gives Mary Puppins
#throws prompt to the piranha fanfic writers#FEAST MY CHILDREN#irrationally jealous mind you. considering Logan loves the baby too#its like when your dogs or cats at home scratch at their ears but you can't clearly see why its itchy#that. thats Logan being jealous and clingy#Zuko collapsing because he did A Good Thing 🤝 Logan collapsing because he wants affection but Struggles To Express#im afraid only Wade's neurodivergency would pick up on it#sigh i think about those old gay men every day now#deadpool 3#deadpool#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson#wolverine#logan howlett#poolverine#deadclaws#deadpool 2024
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Geto and his worm baby. 🐛
These would look cute as stickers lol
#jujutsu kaisen#geto suguru#jjk fanart#jjk art#geto and worm#Im jealous of what they have#this is me and my dog basically
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Will: stop fucking biting my hand
Hannibal: oh so when your dogs do it they’re “teething” but when I do it I’m a “cannibal”
#i just thought this was funny#I like the idea of Hannibal being jealous of Will’s dogs for a multitude of reasons#hannibal nbc#hannibal lecter#hannigram#will graham#hannibal#and yes#im drawing this
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Its been a while since I posted on here
#the beatles#george harrison#ringo starr#man im jealous of that dog#beatles#the beatles art#fan art#starrison#beatles fanart#that dog has no clue
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That waist is asking to be snatched
#im jealous of a fucking fictional vampire lord#sanaol ganyan ka sexy 😭😭😭#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bsd shitpost#bsd spoilers#bsd manga#bsd chapter 111.5#bram stoker#bsd bram
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"An unconcious Sigma" let's smack him against the floor 15 tines because he's too pretty for this world
#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bsd sigma#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#all three of them are so pretty#im jealous#goddamnit
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Seeing you show off that deer antler brought back some memories for me, I had a dog that used to run off and when she'd come back she'd always bring back the oddest shit
A whole, detached deer leg
A completely cleaned cow skull that, while I did live right next to a cow field, it still horrifies me to this day how it was cleaned not by her but obviously by a person
An entire unbroken pair of antlers, again how the fuck-
And Mystery™ meat that not I nor my mother could identify, and we prayed that it didn't come from a corpse
But yeah just wanted to share a bit of that, hope you find a nice place for those antlers!
i can't believe your dog stole someone's freshly prepared wall decoration
#how fun! im glad the deer leg didnt have any negative consequences#i love deer but Wow. do not fucking touch them lmfao#admire from a distance <3#damn did you keep the skull tho? im kinda jealous...#i wish our dog would do that. instead of destroying everything and being obnoxious. Anyway#rambles from the bog#here's hoping that mystery meat was normal! who's to say#its really none of our business <3#living in/near the woods is just like that i think
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I think if Willow gets introduced to the AU anytime before Amity understands that Luz and Hunter aren’t together she’d just get really annoyed (beyond the feelings of “ah fuck I’m about to lose everything for being Horrible”) because “why does every girl I’ve ever had a big stupid lesbian crush on like this bitchy mean sad wet cat/dog pet thing named Hunter”
you know when people say posts have a golden ratio of words?? that's this. this is literally a perfect ask.
#losing my MIND you got all my Things. this is a SPECIAL KIND OF TARGETED#lavender winter. lumiter being weird. hunter and luz being weird. amity's giant stupid crush on willow. cat dog pet hunter. YEAH#amity being jealous of hunter for having luz's attention but also being like no im NOT jealous i dont WANT luz's attention#and then hunter gets along with willow and amity's like oh actually yeah i will be crazy now. why does she like YOU#willow: you were?????? horrible???? to me?????#amity: HES HORRIBLE TOO!!!!#willow: NOT TO ME HE ISNT???? SKILL ISSUE????#replies#toh#lavender winter#princess luz AU
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man courage the cowardly dog plushies are almost as fucked up looking (affectionate) as eene plushies
#im not really a plushie person but im so depressed i need a hug from that little pink dog 😔 i love him so much#there aren't a ton of licensed ones and the handmade ones are cute but are always really small#there was a gary the snail plush at a thrift store recently that i wanted but it had PLASTIC EYES..... and one of them was fuckin broken#i'd still love an eene plush but whatever i'll just have to make do with my eddy cube#my roommate saw him sitting on my bookshelf the other day and was like “...what the fuck is that” lmfaooooo he's so jealous of my swag
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i also think the fact that i had such a stunted and isolated upbringing and now that im an adult all my friends are on atypical life paths (and honestly even my friends as a kid were like this too) means i find things that are usually very common life stages really interesting. like knowing someone who has a house and a wife and 2 kids (with that wife) and a job with a salary feels like meeting fucking paul bunyun to me. or hearing the kids i work with talk about graduating high school and going to college and being on a real path with that stuff is neat? or even sometimes knowing cis/het people who are like going thru that coming of age stuff that i never really experienced the way you see it in the movies bc of transness/queerness/neurodivergence. its like woah they said the name of the thing in the thing. do u know what i mean???
#this actually reminds me of one of the girls at work whose been here for 2 yrs so i feel like im watching her grow up#shes graduating hs this year and shes really smart and she always asks questions like this#like picking ur brain about your life like 'what did you feel like growing up how was your family' etc#its kinda cool#she already got a degree bc of dual credit courses and an internship lined up and im so proud of her#and theres another girl her same age who came to me last night telling me her situationship just broke her heart#and they were both talking all about their prom dresses and all that stuff and were so excited last month#like idk i guess i just find it endearing#i think part of it is also that while these specific paths are thought of as common/default#there really is so much variance in life and really truly so many people not on those paths for so many reasons#which actually does loop around to making it seem strange#like truly how many people do you really know anymore who stayed at 1 job until they rose the ranks#who got married and had kids with that person and now they live in a house in the suburbs with some dogs and cats#like who does that anymore#meanwhile i think its just cool seeing kids actually experiencing growing up but in retrospect and not as a peer feeling confused & jealous#like woah youre a girl buying a dress and getting her hair done and texting a boy thats so wild ive never done that#or woah youre taking courses to prepare for college and know what degree youre going for#i no longer feel resentment that i felt left behind during all that shit when i was a teenager#im just happy for them and proud of them
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i feel like chuuya's past with the sheep isn't talked abt enough
#bungou stray dogs#bsd chuuya#whenever it is mentioned its always in the context of dazai saving chuuya from the sheep or dazai being jealous of a sheep member like okay#yeah skk!!!! but what abt JUST chuuya#sigh#sleepy vix#it's funny because it's true#also i feel like there are alot of headcanons abt how he acted in the past but its only specific to when hes in the pm and it always relates#to dazai#like what abt his past when he was with the sheep?#im so curious abt that
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My parents both happen to be down in London to see my sister so they're outside downing street and now my dad is being interviewed by journalists lmaoo
#uk politics#jealous im not there but someone has to look after the dogs and my irresponsible 15 year old brother
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pov you somehow got adopted by a rich f1 driver and suddenly have a more luxurious life than most of the human population
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