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stubbornness-and-spite · 5 years ago

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Remind Me Why I Fell In Love With Happy Endings

It’s Because They Have Happy People

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Summary: It hurt. A lot. They felt drained dry and defeated, but there hadn’t been any villain or monster to fight. They were supposed to be a team. They could fight monsters, not deal with this. Emotional vulnerability sucked.

Takes place directly after Learning New Things About Ourselves

Pairing(s): platonic LAMP, romantic if you want to read it that way but I wrote it platonic

Characters: Logan, Patton, Virgil, Roman, Thomas is mentioned

Genre: hurt/comfort, angst with a hopeful/happy ending, angst and fluff

Warnings: cursing

Word count: 2420

Notes: kind of an AU? Just timeline-wise. I’m playing fast and loose with the timeline, which is only going to be important and/or relevant if I actually finish the follow-up fic I have planned for this. Since in this story/universe, the sides are real and Sanders Sides videos are not really scripted, there’s much less time between videos(because editing, writing, and directing are figuratively thrown out the window).

“Well, that went well,” Virgil snarked as they sank back down into the common area.

“Our goal was accomplished,” Logan said sharply, avoiding eye contact. “Thomas is feeling better about his chosen lifestyle.”

“His lifestyle you hate, you mean?” Roman grumbled. “Just looking for some extra clarification. Wouldn’t want anyone to be confused.”

“Now, kiddos,” Patton chided, his smile not reaching his eyes. “I think we all came out of that one a little bruised.”

“Metaphorically,” Virgil cut in before Logan could protest. “Emotionally bruised.” Logan nodded with a pinched effort at a smile.

“Is everyone doing okay?” Patton asked softly.

Logan scoffed. “Of course, Patton. No new information was relayed to me and therefore my emotional state, which is negligible, was not significantly impacted.”

“Logan…” Roman grimaced. “I really am sorry. I didn’t mean it. I should have said something more when we were up there, but I-”

“You were more concerned for Thomas’s mental state and more concerned by his opinion than you were for or by either of mine,” Logan cut him off. “Perfectly understandable.”

Roman shook his head. “I should have been concerned for both of you. I shouldn’t have put you in a position where hearing an apology from me for something I specifically said to hurt you was a great kindness. I called you a lot more than ‘stupid’ that I should have apologized for.” He lifted his chin and stood even taller. “And I am now,” he declared. “Logan, I am truly and honestly sorry for the hurtful things I said to you and about you and I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me for speaking to you in such a way and treating you as if you were worth less than you are.”

Logan sighed, some of the tension falling from his face. “Thank you, Roman. I forgive you.” Roman smiled weakly and Logan nodded in return. “Also, to be clear,” he said, adjusting his glasses and smirking. “I’m not remotely offended that you called me a bitch.”

“Roman!” Patton cried, affronted. “When was this?”

Roman blushed. “I got carried away.”

Logan huffed, his smirk softening into a smile. “I like to see you so passionate. I like to inspire it, even if it comes in the form of calling me Sanders Claus on Bitchmas and suggesting we build a snowbitch and kiss under the bitchletoe.”

“Roman!”

“Patton,” Logan said, turning to him. “I was much more insulted by being called stupid. Both of which Roman has apologized for. There is no need to berate him further. I believe I have done enough of that for quite a while.”

“But Logan!”

“Hey, Pop-star,” Virgil chimed in, drawing the focus onto him. He shrunk back slightly but kept talking. “If L says he isn’t upset, then getting upset on his behalf is only making everyone feel bad. It’s okay to let it go sometimes.”

Patton sighed. “I guess you’re right, kidd-- Virgil. Sorry.”

Virgil flinched a second after Patton did, at the sound of his name. “Pat, I-” he sighed. “Nevermind.”

Logan reached over, but stopped, his arm hovering near Virgil’s shoulder. “May I touch you?” At Virgil’s nod, he slid his arm across Virgil’s back and squeezed his shoulder. “Have we not made clear that being open with each other is the only way that things can be solved?”

“Guys, I was a real jerk today and I’m sorry,” Virgil said in a quick breath. He tilted his head to rest on Logan. “Logan, I shouldn’t have jumped to the conclusion that everything was your fault. I shouldn’t have blamed you for something that we all knew we were all contributing to.” He looked at Roman. “I shouldn’t have blamed you either. I know how hard you work. I know how much it kills you when we criticize what you do and I know we have to sometimes because that’s our job, but we’ve been taking it too far lately. I’ve been taking it too far lately and especially today.” Virgil looked over at Patton who had tears in his eyes and quickly looked away. He stared at Logan’s shoes for a moment before forcing himself to look back at Patton. “Patton, I love you,” Patton whined as his damp eyes filled a little more. “I love that you call me kiddo. I wouldn’t give you dad-themed nicknames if I didn’t. I like being a dynamic duo with you. I feel like you get me sometimes in a way that someone whose function isn’t emotion isn’t able to.” Logan stiffened, but didn’t move his arm. Virgil kept talking. “What makes me uncomfortable isn’t all that. I like being your ‘dark strange son’.” A small grin crept onto his face and he rolled his eyes fondly. Virgil paused, catching himself and hesitated before taking a breath and blurting out, “I don’t like being called an angel. I don’t like you telling Thomas that I don’t mean the things I say just because they’re negative or because I disagreed with you. It makes me feel like you don’t think I can do my job. It makes me feel like you think I’m less capable than you are.” Virgil winced and looked tentatively at Patton, already waiting for scorn.

“Oh, Virg-- kiddo,” Patton sighed. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like that.”

Virgil shrugged, his expression relaxing as he leaned into Logan and pretended he’d never had any doubts. “I know. That’s why I said something. If I thought you were doing it to upset me, I wouldn’t have asked you to stop. I know you didn’t mean anything by it, which is why I felt safe telling you that it upset me.”

“Can I hug you too, kiddo?” Patton asked, fidgeting with his hoodie sleeves.

Logan spoke up before Virgil could respond. “Oh, Virgil and I are not hugging. I am merely ensuring that he feels safe enough to express the feelings that we have previously established are important to share.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “By hugging me. Face it, L, we’re basically cuddling.” Virgil smirked as Logan blushed, but was pleased that Logan’s arm around his shoulders didn’t move at all. “Come hug us, Patt-- Dad. Come hug us, Dad.”

Patton barrelled into them, tackling them into the couch, his arms outstretched to wrap around them. Virgil laughed as he went down, pulling himself into Logan’s side as he curled up on the couch. Logan readjusted until he was seated normally on the couch with one arm draped over Virgil, who had pulled his knees up and was leaning onto him. Patton picked himself up and sat on the other side of Virgil, placing his arm next to Logan’s and gently grabbing Logan’s shoulder. Logan looked over to see Patton smiling at him as he squeezed his shoulder. Logan let out a breath and dropped his head to rest on Patton’s hand.

“Well, this is just absolutely adorable,” Roman stood awkwardly above them, looking down with a bright smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “But I should be going.”

“Come cuddle with us, Princey,” Virgil muttered. “You deserve cuddles, especially after today.”

Roman’s face lightened a bit as he breathed out a soft laugh. “You look very comfortable. I’ll just be off.”

Patton looked up at Roman. “I have another arm, kiddo. There’s a spot right here if you want it.”

Roman took in a sharp breath and let it out shakily, looking at Patton as if he’d just told Roman that he was going to get everything he’d ever wanted right then and there, a mix of disbelief and desperate longing on his face. “Thanks, padre, but I’m good,” he finally managed, a blank smile slapped back on his face.

“Roman, why do you feel the need to lie to us when we are openly offering you affection?” Logan asked, not bothering to look at Roman.

Roman scowled, but quickly regained control of his face and smiled again. “Because I don’t need it. I’m doing just fine. This last video just illustrated to me how much work I have unfinished and I need to stop letting my ego get in the way of productivity.”

“You’re lying,” Virgil mumbled, not looking at Roman. “You sound like Logan when you lie and not in a good way.”

“Do you just know all of our tells?” Roman snapped. “Are you studying us, Virgil? Does it make you feel special to have us all figured out, Emo Nightmare?”

“Now, Roman, kiddo…”

“That’s enough, Roman.”

Ignoring Patton and Logan’s jump to his defense, Virgil started to hum a tune that was still fresh in all of their minds. “Sometimes the problems at play are not all plain to see, so we lash out at our loved ones, disregarding our bond sanctity,” he sang awkwardly.

Roman sighed and flopped down on the couch. “Don’t quote me to me, Panic! at the Everywhere.”

Virgil snorted. “You’re pretty quotable, Princey.”

Roman laughed. “Whatever you say, Hot Topic.”

“You reused that one on purpose,” Virgil taunted. “You think I’m hot.”

Roman huffed a laugh and snuggled into Patton’s side. Patton hummed softly in delight and pulled Roman closer. “I already told you you’re adorable, do you really need me to admit you’re hot too?”

“Children,” Logan groaned.

“Aww, Logan!” Patton chirped. “Have you finally admitted that we are the fathers to two wonderful sons?”

Logan frowned. “No. I was telling Virgil and Roman that they were arguing like children.” Virgil and Roman laughed and squirmed closer into their hugs. Quietly, into Virgil’s hair, almost so soft that no one heard him, Logan mumbled, “And I thought I was one of your kiddos too.” But they did hear him and Patton squealed. Roman and Virgil flinched at the sudden noise and Patton stopped with a sharp intake of breath. He looked back and forth between the two of them, both of whom had relaxed once they realized it was Patton that was squealing, and squealed again, much softer.

“Of course you’re one of my kiddos, Logan!” Patton cried, reaching over to try and hug Logan too. Virgil grunted softly as he was crushed between them. Logan reached over with his free hand and placed it over Patton’s on his shoulder and Patton stilled, settling back between Roman and Virgil. “Of course you’re one of my kiddos,” he repeated softer. “You’re all my kiddos. I love you all so much.”

“Love you too, Pat,” Virgil mumbled.

“The feeling is mutual, Patton.”

“I love you as well, padre.”

“Love all of you!” Patton cried, getting a little weepy. “Now say you love each other!”

Logan blinked. “Was that not abundantly clear? I thought it was rather obvious that I care for you all. I concluded Patton was the only one to require regular reminding. Was my reasoning not sound?” Logan’s panic increased as he went on, his breathing quickening and his volume rising. Virgil tensed under Logan and Patton’s arms. Roman went very still.

“I didn’t want to put you out, L,” Virgil admitted. “I don’t want you to say it just because you think I need to hear it. I’m fine, really.”

Roman nodded. “I feel the same. It is a wholly unnecessary venture. I am not so shallow as to need constant praise and validation.” He turned to Patton. “No offense, Patton.”

Patton smiled. “None taken, kiddo! Remember what Thomas said? ‘Honestly, it didn’t hurt me. It’s clear you’re the one that’s hurting.’ Didn’t you listen to what we said?”

Roman scoffed. “It’s all well and good to say things for a camera. I’m quite familiar with the process myself. I was flattered, of course, that you came up with so much so quickly.”

“Aww, kiddo, we meant it!”

Virgil suddenly sat up ram-rod straight and whipped around to face Roman. “I shouldn’t have said almost,” he blurted out. Everyone turned to look at him, but he barrelled on. “I thought you knew what parts were serious, but Roman, we love you.” he paused and shook his head. “I love you. Nothing you could do would make me or any of us stop.” He scowled. “Dammit, even Deceit and Remus love you and they’re bastards who can stuff it. You’re awesome, Roman. In every case, we’d embrace you. Nothing is ever going to make us stop loving you, let alone hate you, okay?”

“Yeah, Virgil,” Roman choked out, trying valiantly to keep from crying at Virgil’s speech. “I know.”

Virgil went red, suddenly realizing how much he’d said. He settled back down between Patton and Logan. “Yeah, well, good. Don’t be stupid and think we don’t love you again, Princey.”

“I love you all too,” Roman mumbled with his face buried in Patton’s cardigan.

“I love you both as well,” Logan murmured. “I shall endeavor to remind you all more often. I have often spoken against the logic of assuming other’s thoughts and jumping to conclusions. It would be hypocritical of me to continue to do so after it has been brought to my attention that, in this case, actions do not figuratively speak louder than words.”

Virgil snorted. “Love you too, Logan. Now shut up and let me sleep. I’m exhausted and emotionally drained.”

Logan nodded, leaning onto Virgil and resting his head atop his curled up body. Patton lifted his arm to let Logan relax and lay down half on top of Virgil who had tilted to lean on Patton. He set his hand down on Logan’s head, gently running his fingers through the other side’s hair. Roman leaned all the way over, resting his head in Patton’s lap. Virgil and Patton shared a small smile as they both moved a hand to play with Roman’s hair. Roman let out a pleased hum and the quiet attention, leaning into both of their touches. Patton took a final look at his friends, his charges, his family, all curled up and leaning on him, letting him love and support them the way he tried so hard to do, and let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. He leaned his head back and felt a pillow materialize behind him. He glanced down to see Roman’s smile grow slightly. Patton lifted his hand up to his mouth and pressed a soft kiss onto his fingers before pressing it onto Roman’s head. He leaned back on the pillow and closed his eyes, the comforting weight of the other three on him quickly lulling him to sleep.

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cityofimagines · 4 years ago

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My Angel – JJ Maybank x Reader

Summary: your relationship with JJ is still relatively new, but that doesn’t stop you from showing just how much your care about him after his has an episode with his dad.

A/N: this popped into my brain randomly because im in love with fluffy jj, and jj in general. i literally just wanna give him the biggest hug in the world 🥺 this is also my first real obx imagine so lmk what you guys think!!

warnings: mentions of abuse

word count: 1841

It was currently a perfect day in the Outer Banks. 86 degrees, not a cloud in the sky, on your way to meet your friends on the dock. You finally found a time when everyone was off work simultaneously for the first time this week. John B’s boat was practically rotting from not being used in five days.

You fast walked down the hill to get to the meeting spot. As you got closer, you noticed most of the pogues plus Sarah Cameron, the newest addition to the group thanks to John B, all chatting.

“Hey guys!” You exclaimed as you neared them at the end of the dock.

“Hey (y/n)!” Kie smiled and ran up to give you a short hug.

“What’s up (y/n)?” John B asked, giving you a nod.

You shook your head. “Not much. Just excited to finally see you guys!” Which earned smiles from the rest of the group. Everyone was clad in swimsuits, t shirts, and flip flops, signaling that they were more than ready to get this day going. But before you could, you noticed something major was off. “Where’s JJ?” You asked looking around for your boyfriend.

“We were gonna ask you the same question.” Pope said.

“That’s so weird. We texted earlier and he was obviously down to come...I assumed he’d be the first one here.” You continued.

“Who knows maybe he’s just running a little late. It wouldn’t be the first time anyway.” Kie smiled and put a hand to your arm. “We can wait a few more minutes.”

You had been friends with all of the pogues for about two years now, pretty much since the week you moved here. However, you and JJ had only been dating for less than a month, so this relationship was still fairly new. You couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he was having doubts about you or your relationship. After that thought passed you wondered if something bad happened to him. JJ is known for having not the cleanest record, much to your dismay, so you couldn’t help but think he was in trouble. As more time passed, the more negative overthinking you did.

You checked your phone for any sign of him, but the only notifications present were from Apple telling you to update your software for the millionth time. The rest of the group had descended into a random conversation, but finally after 10 minutes of waiting for him you decided to speak up.

“Hey guys? I think I might go look for him…” You trailed off, looking in the other direction towards the rest of the island.

“It is pretty weird...JJ isn’t one to miss out on days like these.” John B added. “You want us to come with you?”

You smiled at his offer, but declined. “No it’s fine honestly. You guys go have fun. Don’t let me ruin your day.”

“You could never.” Kie said. “You’re sure?”

You nodded. “I promise it’s okay. I’m just scared something happened. I’m gonna go look for him and maybe we’ll meet up with you guys later if we can.”

Since your relationship with JJ was still so new, you were still learning how to manage spending time with him alone and spending time with the rest of your friends. You felt bad for leaving them because you hadn’t hung out all week, but something was pulling you towards JJ in that moment.

“Sounds good.” Kie finished. “Good luck and hopefully we’ll see you later!”

“Thanks guys.” You smiled one last time before turning to walk back towards where you came from. Your car was parked in a lot close by, so it didn’t take long for you to get in there and gather your thoughts. Where could JJ be? He couldn’t be at work, because he’s been working with Pope and his dad lately, so obviously if Pope was at the dock JJ would be too. The only other place he could be would be...his house?

The second that thought dawned on you, your face sank. His house.

JJ opened up about his home life to you pretty quickly into your relationship. You had known each other for so long before that he felt like he could trust you explicitly. He told you all about how his mom left when he was young, and how his dad is a disgusting physically and emotionally abusive alcoholic. This revelation led to a few tears and more than a few sleepovers at your house.

You backed out of the lot and sped down the streets as fast as you possibly could without it being able to technically count as speeding. Your heart was now pounding at the thought that something bad must have happened today involving his dad.

After a too fast car ride you came up on his street. You parked across the street in front of his house, not even daring to go near the driveway because who knows what his dad would do. You weren’t even completely sure his dad knew you existed.

You felt crazy walking around to the back door dressed in a bikini with nothing but an oversized t-shirt covering you, a messy bun sitting on top of your head, sunglasses behind your ears, and cheap flip flops.

Once you got up to the door, your hand hovered in front of it in a knocking position. Suddenly you were terrified. What if JJ wasn’t even here? What if you were just being a stupid worried clingy girlfriend? What if his dad answered? What would you even do in that situation?

A crazy thought came over you and you decided to forego knocking and reach out for the doorknob instead. You turned it quietly and the door clicked open. You closed it behind you and took a look inside at the house you had only seen a couple times before. Beer bottles lined every open surface. Clothes and dishes were strewn everywhere, medicine bottles sat on the kitchen counters. You bit your lip to keep from tearing up at the sight. The fact that this was the only place the boy who had your heart had to call home broke you.

You walked into the living room and jumped a mile when you saw an adult figure on the couch. Luke Maybank, luckily asleep. Still no sign of JJ.

You walked deeper in the house, down the hall to where you knew JJ’s room was. The door was cracked slightly, and you held your ear up to it. Your heart broke even more when the sound of crying filled your ears. You opened the door and it creaked, causing your boyfriend’s head to snap up in your direction.

“JJ…” You began.

“(Y/N)? What the hell are you doing here-” He said, cutting you off.

No words came out of your mouth for a minute as you took in the sight. He was hunched over sitting on his bed, clutching his side. His shaggy blonde hair looked more oily than normal most likely due to his hands running through it excessively. He had a black eye and a split lip, with random patches of dried blood around his mouth. You had heard about his dad’s horrible parenting, but nothing could have prepared you from seeing its effects in real life for the first time.

Finally you came to your senses. “I was looking for you.” You started. “We were all waiting for you on the dock and when you didn’t show up I just had a feeling something was wrong…God JJ why the fuck didn’t you call me? I would’ve come as soon as I cou-”

“Shh baby. It’s okay. I’m okay.” He said. “C’mere.”

You couldn’t help the tears that welled up in your eyes as you took all of three steps towards him. He wrapped his arms around your torso and pulled you in. Your head rested on his.

“It’s not okay!” You cried out, his hair muffling your voice. He shushed you and started rubbing your back.

“I’m fine sweetheart. You shouldn’t even be here anyways-”

“Will you shut up?” You said, the question coming out harsher than you meant. You quickly pulled away and looked down at him. “Shit- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...I’m just fucking frustrated that you have to go through this. I can’t stand seeing you like this.”

JJ reached up to wipe the tear that had fallen onto your cheek. “It’s nothing I can’t handle. I promise I’m fine. Go back out with everyone. I’ll catch up later.” He said.

“No.” You shook your head. “We’re going to my house. I’m fixing you up.”

“(y/n)...”

“Either you come with me or I’ll help you here.” You gave him an ultimatum.

He sighed and his head fell forwards on your stomach. He was still sitting on his bed and you stood in between his legs. You grabbed his hand in yours. “Please baby. Let me take care of you.”

“Okay. Your house it is.” You helped him up and walked him out to your car. You even helped him into the passenger seat, much to his dismay. Seeing him like this had you seething inside, you couldn’t help but want to love on him with everything you had.

A short drive to your house later, you walked inside and told him to sit down on the couch. Your parents were both at work and you assumed your older sister was with her own friends. You ran to the bathroom to get bandaids, rubbing alcohol, and an ice pack for his eye.

You sat down with everything and began tending to his cuts. You felt like crying again, but reminded yourself to be strong for him.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” You asked after a few moments of silence.

He shook his head. “There’s nothing to talk about. He’s just an asshole.”

“I wish I could do something more to stop it.”

“You do enough. I don’t deserve you.” He said quietly.

“Stop it. If anything I don’t deserve you.” You replied. You took the ice pack off his face for a minute to look into his eyes fully. “You’re the best part of my life JJ Maybank. When you’re hurting so am I.”

He leaned down to kiss your forehead. “My angel.”

You wrapped your arms around his torso delicately so as to not hurt him. You weren’t sure if words could adequately describe what you were feeling regarding JJ, so you just sat in his embrace. He wrapped his arms around you after a few moments.

“I’m so sorry you have to deal with all of this. I hate making you upset.”

“Not your fault.” You whispered into his shirt. “I would do anything for you. You know that.”

He pushed your head up to his and planted a passionate kiss to your lips. He pulled away and rested his forehead to yours. You ran a gentle hand up and down his side, feeling him get chills as you traced the muscles that hid underneath his soft skin.

“You wanna sleep?” You asked.

“Honestly...yeah.” He said quietly.

You patted his legs twice signaling for him to stand up. You switched positions so you were sitting behind him.

Once he got comfortable in your lap, you started running your hands through his hair and on his cheek. His eyes fluttered closed.

“I got you sunshine. You’re safe with me.”

#jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj imagine #jj maybank imagine #jj x reader #outer banks #outer banks imagine #outer banks headcanon #jj headcanon #jj maybank headcanon #dating jj maybank #john b #rudy pankow #rudy pankow imagine #jj fluff #jj x reader fluff #jj maybank fluff

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sab-teraa · 3 years ago

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Time to watch Son Yaz! SPOILER ALERT 🚨

• EMEL 🥺💓💓💓 what a aunt + woman

• OH MY GOD. IVE BEEN SAYINGG THIS SINCE SEASON ONE BUT DAMN SONER IS FINE AF 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵😍😍

• smh the rocket gang look so good in their new fits … but at what cost huh??? Did fox give Ozans wardrobe budget to these 3 😔😔 my mans Ozan is wearing the same outfit every ep

• eray sending AKGUN videos of yagmur 🥺🥺

• uncle didn’t take his pressure pills and y’all are making him run like this. I WILL FJGHT YOU

• okay .., so the person selim-AKGUN killed is AKGUNs brother?? I forgot his name lol

• selim I understand the need to grieve your wife …. But you abandoned your kids 💔💔

• lmaoooo … the summary said that selim broke this lady’s heart … yet selim doesn’t know who she is 😭😭😭 this is so embarrassing

• naz looks so pretty! I’m loving her looks in this ep. I really hated her fashion last season

• naz … I too would be smiling like that if I had a man like soner 😍😍🥵

• SONER 🔥🔥🔥 FINALLY A MAN THAT COMMUNICATES

• sis are you trying to seduce selim?? Pls I gotta deal with Cagla … pls don’t be Cagla 2.0

• YAGMUR SEEING SELIM 😭😭😭😭😭😭 the way she said baba TEARS

• PLS YAGMUR BEGGING SELIM TO STAY OMG IM CRYINNNN

• AKGUN is such a dummy sometimes 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

• this episode is so so good SO SO GOOOD

• Altai 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

• NOT ALTAI DRINKING AND DRIVING NOOOOOO HE IS STILL A BABY IN MY EYES I CANT HE IS MOURNING

• Altai has changed so much … I can’t blame him … this is so heartbreaking … I really really hope they are getting him help??

• nah everyone begging selim not to leave again pls 😭😭😭

• I JUST KNOW THAT THESE ARE OZANS OUTFITS ON ERAY. IM READY TO RELEASE MY INNER KAREN AND WRITE A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER TO FOX

• cemre and soner look like twins omg

• wait wtf can’t Cihan marry this lady instead?

• NOT THIS UNCLE ASKING SONER IF HE IS LOVE WITH A WOMAN HE JUST MET 😭😭 COMMON SENSE YOK

• Burak is gonna be my new fave sad m*fia boy huh 😔 he spoke horribly to soner tho

• AKGUN AND YAGMUR FEELING EACH OTHERS PRESENCE BEFORE SEEING EACH OTHER OMFG I CANT I CANT 💔

• NOT THE JAIL SCENE AGAIN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔

• my girl yagmur is a ride or die! 🔥🔥🔥

• the more I watch how women like esra + yagmur handle themselves … the more I hope I never experience heartbreak. I don’t think I could ever be as strong as them …. Ever

• AKGUN crying 😩😭

• Burak I’m so confused bro … wtf are you beating up AKGUN lol?? I’m so confused

• nah … Burak is crazy CRAZY 😳

• I can’t deal with Altai begging for his mum … I’m crying so much

• Cihan is tryna emotionally manipulate soner 🙄🙄🙄🙄 mans gave you a kidney … WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROK HIM I HATE THIS

• akguns dad is my fave 🤣🤣🤣🤣 uncle said send him to jail pls I love him

• LMAO SONERS ENGAGEMENT PARTY IS A MILLION TIMES BETTER THAN CAGLA-OZANS WEDDING 🤣🤣🤣 pls wtf is Ami budget 😭🤣

• OOOOOOOF Soner WHAT A GROOOOOM 😍😍😍. This is the first time I’ve seen a groom look better than the bride (his fiancé is beautiful btw) but his look is just 😩🥵

• lmaoooo cemres reaction when AKGUN walked in 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

• THE WAY SELIM GOT UP 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I CANT WITH THIS MAN 🤣🤣🤣

• THAT PROPOSAL 🥺💗💗💗💗💗 also Naz’s ring is BEAUTIFUL! Sooooooo my vibe

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stormyoceansmain · 3 years ago

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This might be asking too much, but I would love to see your full thoughts on each little part of the new trailer. Predictions on what you think is happening in each scene and whatnot. If you don’t have the time, I completely understand.

ngl i feel pretty honored that you want to hear my thoughts about the trailer, anon, so im definitely gonna try my best to do it!!! let's see..

so, the trailer opens up with each of our main characters getting a different kind of alert message on their phones about the main disasters that happened in the past seasons, which kinda makes me wonder if what they're getting is gonna foreshadow how things will go for them in the first 3 episodes, or just.. what they're gonna have to deal with, at least emotionally. idk if i can explain myself, but while buck's alert is pretty much self explanatory, bobby's and eddie's feel kinda weird to me, because bobby didn't have a big focus during the earthquake, while that was the moment we learned about christopher and we saw eddie being worried for him, and similarly eddie didn't have much focus during the mudslide, while at the end of it bobby learned that athena was in danger and went looking for her. it could be that they're using the mudslide to bring up eddie's trauma about being buried under ground, or maybe there isn't a big reason behind any of it, but i still find those choices kinda curious, so i wonder if maybe this time around we're gonna see bobby being worried about one of the kids (may? harry? or maybe he's just.. gonna be worried about his family in general?) and eddie being worried about his partner (or being the one in danger, with his partner looking for him, which either way would tie up nicely with buck and the tsunami, and it would be the perfect chance to show once again that eddie's partner is buck and not ana). eddie getting the mudslide also makes me really hope for a RECOVERY ARC!!!!!!! and idk what hen's and chim's alerts say, but the fact that we didn't get them read theirs out loud makes me think bobby, buck, and eddie are gonna be the ones with more focus in these episodes

we then see josh saying 'the whole city has been hacked', which is another very interesting part to me because all the previous disasters were natural ones, with no control over them, but this has someone responsible behind it, so i wonder how targeted the attack is gonna be (im not saying someone is out to get the 118, but it is kinda weird that chimney said 'it's like all of our greatest hits')

AFTER THIS THERE'S LIKE.. HALF A FRAME OF THE HOSPITAL LOSING POWER SO IM SITTING HERE HOPING AND PRAYING IT'S GONNA MEAN MORE DAVID

the yearly tradition of athena having to deal with car accidents continues (she had to do that during the earthquake and the tsunami too), but since we know that apparently she will have to face the serial r*pist that beat her up, it makes me think that the first episode/first half of the second one will have athena dealing with streets mayhem and the 118 dealing with the animals, and then things will progressively get more serious

possibly the airplane we see going down is gonna be the thing the 118 will have to deal with after the animals?? the last time they had to deal with an airplane crash it was all the way back in season 1 and it made bobby break down so???? maybe there will be some sort of parallel????

EDDIE LOOKS BOTH NERVOUS AND READY TO FIGHT EVERY SINGLE ANIMAL AND IM HERE FOR IT (though i hope no one is gonna actually hurt the animals)

i think this is pretty much it, even if i feel like i could have done a better job at going scene by scene, but it’s still all i have to say for now, so i hope it's okay anyway!!!

#thank you so much for asking anon!!!!#hope i didn't disappoint you ;;;;;;#also if anyone wanna share their thoughts please do!!!!!#monica talks #911 #911 spoilers

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imma-lil-teapot · 5 years ago

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TMNT 2003/2k3 Headcanon: Crying - (Leonardo)

Feel free to scroll past this first part if you’re not interested in my silly rambling and nonsense. I won’t mind. Promise. ;)

Okey-dokey then, with the global epidemic that is the Coronavirus well in action and most of the world stuck in lockdown (starting this Friday for us too), felt like getting the ‘ol creative juices flowing with a little headcanon-y thingy in preparation for -possibly- more fandom writings to keep myself busy during the house arrest (well... it kinda is!) and hopefully my mind off all the bad news. :(

Also, this is totally my first one on the blog! WOOT! Please bear in mind that I’m SUPER rusty! Haven’t written in ages so there are bound to be typos and all matter of general errors scattered throughout the post. Don’t pet them! They bite!

Anyhoo~ Despite attempting to create and share with the goal in mind to uplift spirits, I decided to start on a rather upsetting subject (PLEASE DON’T LEAVE! They end on happy notes ;) ) because, Imma just come and say it, I enjoy seeing my favourite characters shed tears (not for just any old reason -their personality plays a huge role in this- and CERTAINLY not for sadistic reasons, land sakes no! But... well, you’ll see~ ;) ) It makes me all gooey and fuzzy inside to see them display such raw emotion and I just wanna leap into the TV screen to hug and console them. I dunno why. Maybe I’m nuts like that. (Remembers Raph crying at the farm when Leo was badly injured and wishes she could just hug them all and take away the pain) Oh well, if you enjoy visualizing the same, then *High Fives*. :)

So yeah, if you read the title, you’ll know this is based on the 2003/2k3 series (my favs). Hope you all enjoy~ :D Grab tissues cause sad turts ahead! :’(

Jibber jabber stops here~

TURTLES~

LEONARDO - You are here

RAPHAEL

DONATELLO - Coming soon

MICHELANGELO - Coming soon

WARNING(S): Because of the subject, Angst and Hurt/Comfort will be present.

RATING: G (General)

WORD COUNT: Don’t have the foggiest.

ANYTHING ELSE TO ADD:

And apparently gifs too, so without further ado: (Completely unintentional but in actuality, totally intentional rhyming)...

TO THE HEADCANONS~~~~

~LEONARDO~

-- It’s no easy feat to make the leader in blue turn on the waterworks. Leo won’t cry for any old reason. It’s not because he has no emotions, far from it, but being the leader of a small ninja clan -who happen to be family as well- is no easy task in itself: he has a lot on his young shoulders and deals with many issues on a daily basis few his age ever have to.

-- It’s because of these reasons that Leo doesn’t cry often. One of the lesser likely to out of the four brothers. But when he does, it’s an emotionally distressing sight to behold.

-- Leo tends to cry whenever those closest to him -namely his brothers, his father/master and truest friends- are severely injured or are in a dire situation. Remember his angry/moody arc? The thought of losing any of them causes him great pain and distress, especially if he were the cause of any of it, and when that happens, he can’t stop the dampness that forms around his eyes and soaks into his mask.

-- He’s not fond of crying, especially in front of others, even though he fully comprehends its normalcy. He feels he needs to be everyone’s rock, their fortress of physical and emotional stability to turn to for strength when things get rough... So when the tears start to fall, he feels he can’t show them, can’t allow them to watch him crumble under the gripling weight of helplessness and anguish.

-- He frantically wipes at his eyes and desperately attempts not to sniffle, but it’s a hopeless battle, for his tears are already a steady stream.

-- He’ll try to hide when possible, usually retreating to his room to allow the worst of the emotions to spill over before returning to the others... Though he may be in there a while: when Leo lets his emotions go, it can be just as powerful as his red-banded brother’s rage.

-- He spares no time in making sure the coast is clear for the tears are already streaming by the time he reaches his futon, and there’s no stopping them now as he lets himself drop to his knees, only halfway onto the mattress. He purposefully leaves the room unlit, cloaking his form in the darkness.

-- He sniffs a few times as he shuffles up against the wall, sitting upright against it, bringing his legs up and hugging them loosely and droops his head against a single knee pad.

-- His voice desperately wishes to escape. To express its misery. But he won’t allow it to, often placing one hand over his face in a bid to quell the sadness and remain silent in the battle against his own inner turmoil. He refuses to let anyone see him in that state of utter sorrow and vulnerability.

-- He whimpers ever so slightly and coughs a few times as breathing becomes difficult. He knows this episode won’t be over any time soon. Fortunately, he keeps some tissues next to his bed for such rare occasions and tries not to blow too loudly. He thinks back to the last time he cried so hard... It’s been a while. It felt like a build up.

-- Time has been forgotten as he’s lost in deep thought. By the time he slips a hand across his eyes, only the material of his mask is still slightly damp. He clears his nostrils a couple of times before considering whether he was ready to return to his family. He’d of course straighten up his bedding beforehand, and would also require a trip to the bathroom to wash his face. A true ninja leaves no evidence.

-- Leo tries to put the horrifying images out of head before leaving his quarters. He doesn’t wish to be weighed down again and thus maybe cause his emotions to come out a second time. He knew someone would catch on that time. Instead, he holds his head up high, focusing on the there and now to carry him forward.

BONUS EXTRA~

-- Failure is also one of his greatest foes. Leo despises it, but not in the irrational sense; he fully comprehends that in order to grow, one has to lose in order to learn and thus, succeed in turn, and while it can frustrate him when he’s unsuccessful at mastering a martial arts technique for example, he understanders it’s part of the process and that no one’s perfect.

-- It’s when his slipups could spell casualties or death to his family and/or friends is when it weighs down on him like a boulder strapped to his shell.

-- A really big one.

-- And it hurts. So much so that it causes him to become despondent and often teary-eyed when no one’s looking.

-- Boi Bloo might also cry from especially sad movie scenes. He gets seriously into the story, and when the scene is just right -perfect music, perfect timing etc.- you may just catch Fearless with watery eyes.

-- He can’t help it. After all, he’s a leader, and very caring and kind-hearted individual, so movies showing children or anyone/anything defenceless getting hurt has him not only visibly upset, but also angry at the cause. He’s a softie like that.

-- He won’t have a meltdown, of course, but the tears are definitely there. Just don’t tease him too much; he’s easily embarrassed by it. ;)

BONUS EXTRA EXTRA FEMALE READER OR S/O EDITION~ (Can also use an OC/FC insert if you wish, up to you)

You had figured something was up by the time you’d finished greeting everyone in the Splinterson household except for the Turtle you’d long to see most and he hadn’t made his presence yet known.

The idea that he must’ve been practicing or meditating swiftly vanished when Mikey told you he’d been in his room in the dark for the past few hours. “The guy hardly ever naps, and even so, never this long.” He’d told you. “I dunno, (Y/N), we were about to check on ‘im when you arrived, but maybe you should be the one to. Think he’d really appreciate it.” And there was absolutely no argument from your side as you were already making your way up to the room.

You didn’t know what to expect as you neared the doorway. Could he possibly still just be sleeping? Meditating in the dark instead of his usual spot by the training area? Or... was he sick? The latter now had you concerned and you picked up your pace... Only to pause mid step when an unmistakable sound reached your ears: a sniffle.

Had it come from within his room? It was the only logical explanation as everyone else was downstairs. You were truly perturbed now as you stood outside the doorway and called out the ‘eldest’ Turtle’s name.

There was some shuffling to be heard but you were unable to tell for sure what he was doing -probably trying to neaten up his bed- “(Y/N)? Just a second, okay?” he responded in a rather awkward verging on frantic tone, and you were certain you heard another sniffle escape him.

That, along with the way he’d replied really didn’t help to put your mind at ease. “Leo, are you alright?” Nor was the pitch blackness in which he remained concealed in.

“Yeah, just... l-looking for something.” There was some more shuffling as if to prove his point, but you were having none of it.

“Then maybe this,” you began, turning around to flick the light switch, “will help?”

“No! Wait!” But it was a split second too late for as soon the brightness illuminated the entire room, you had caught the telltale signs of an emotional meltdown in progress plastered on his face before he quickly turned away and briskly wiped an arm across his face, attempting to hide the shame... or perhaps embarrassment?

“Leo...?” your heart and voice softened, “Hey, what’s wrong?” You automatically walked to him, closing the gap he was now trying to form.

“Nothing,” he lied, and acknowledged it was a fruitless attempt but still couldn’t stop himself. Autopilot panic mode was enabled now. “It’s nothing.”

Unfortunately for him, autopilot mother hen mode was activated for you as you reached with both hands to his carapace and shoulder, gently turning him to face you. “I can see that it’s something.” Your words were gentle, and you wanted nothing more than to take away his pain. “Look at me, Honey.” His body was turned but his head remained to the side. It was clear he didn’t want his obvious distress on display, even to you. “Please, Leo?” You tried again, and slowly but surely, his eyes met yours, and you felt your heart sink further.

The fabric of his mask was wet and eyes were still red with fresh tears that threatened to fall. He appeared so broken and helpless as he stared at you, and even though he uttered no words, you could practically hear him despairingly ask “Is this what you wanted? To see me at my lowest?” from his expression alone.

Never had you witnessed the leader of this band of mutant brothers cry. At times you had wondered if he ever did, and yet here he was; the incredible pillar of strength and dignity you had come to know and adore, in tears and so dejected that you couldn’t stop your own eyes from becoming damp the more you gazed at him. “Oh, Sweety...” You whispered as you felt your soul shatter. It was too much to bear. You slowly wrapped your arms around him, one around the midsection and the other over his shoulder, and buried your face into his leathery neck, offering every ounce of comfort you could muster.

It didn’t take him long at all to sink into the embrace and return the action. Beyond the point of concerning himself with showing the pain he felt -or the wetness now soaking into your shoulder when he placed his forehead against it- he sniffed and finally allowed the tears to fall once again as fresh waves of emotion surged throughout his body.

And this time, he couldn’t keep the whimpering to himself.

“Shh~ It’s okay, it’s okay,” you soothed, lightly patting and rubbing along the scutes of his shell as he weakly sobbed, finally letting go of all the sadness that gripped him.

You weren’t even aware of what was wrong, and you most likely wouldn’t find out til later once he calmed down, but right now, he just needed you to hold him. Hold him until the hurt was gone... And so you would.

AND THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE!

ALL THE FEELS!! I EMBARRASS!!

OMGosh, this turned into a monster! The mother of all HCs!! :O No seriously, this wasn’t meant to be this long! I was suppose to squish all four into one itty bitty little post, but then it just grew... and grew... and GREW! Personally, I blame the Reader Bonus but I’d be damned if I didn’t enjoy writing it! ;P You guys here on Tumblr got me slightly addicted to them and have wanted to attempt some myself so... Anyhoo~ I can’t really say if I’m entirely content with the whole thing, I dunno. I feel some parts are better than others (writing style-wise) but yeah, I really need to get back into the swing of things...

Speaking of which, I DO plan on adding my two cents on the other bois as well, but judging by how this one turned out, they’ll most likely all be this length, more or less, so each Turt will get his own post so I can really jot down those details with all the freedom in the world! That being said, I can’t say when they’ll be added but hopefully soon-ish. :) Raph's next on the list!

Thank you all so much for the read and hope you enjoyed~ :D

~Drag0n Mistr3ss’ Random Fandoms*

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ellie-sande · 5 years ago

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Euphoria- a dumb bitch’s HOT TAKE

Okay, so here’s the deal. I’m gonna do an analysis of the characters I think are the most interesting (read as fuck McKay, he boring as SHIIIITT), so this shit is gonna be looooong. Y’all better brace yourselves UwUUUU 🥺😝😩😈

The episode: I didn’t really feel a strong emotion towards it??? Like, it was definitely the sloppiest episode by far in terms of the way that everything was edited and the timeline of events. It was visually stimulating and literal poetic cinema, as always, but that’s nothing new with Euphoria. I think a lot of the jumps between characters and scenes were completely unnecessary and honestly kind of agitating?? Instead of leaving us with new unanswered questions, we have the same ones we’ve had the whole season? In my opinion, it would’ve been more effective for them to have fully closed some plot points or at least bring them to a point where I’m still interested (I’m looking at you, Nate and Jules plot). But like, overall it's still a pretty decent episode. I think the ending was messy because we don’t know how much of it was just a music video and how much was legit part of the storyline which is a BIG DEAL. It just came after one of the best in the season, which made it feel significantly weaker. but tHat’S jUsT my oPINION 🤷🏾‍♀️.

Jules:

I think Jules is the biggest wildcard of the season, and we know so little about her, so it’s kind of difficult to understand what her intention is. I think that’s absolutely intentional by the writers because they want the audience in Rue’s head, y’know??? That’s my way of warning y’all that this shit is LONG 🤷🏾‍♀️

When Jules came clean about everything, she was doing what she thought was best for the relationship, which is open communication. She could tell that her not telling Rue about Nate was ruining the relationship (she said so in ep. 7). There was never malicious intent in her telling Rue about her hookup and Nate. She was just doing what she thought was right, and tbh??? IM PROUD OF THAT DUMBASS. One of her biggest issues is definitely effective and open communication and this is definitely a step in the right direction, y’know??

THAT BEING SAID, when I first watched the episode, I thought that her and Anna still flirting or whatevah and being iN loVE was out of character and went against the arc that I was expecting from Jules. BUUUUUT, I thought about it and here’s my take: I think that Jules just wants to be free from the external pressures in east highland, y’know? This whole entire season, her character did not get a fucking BREAK so I totally understand. There’s so much responsibility and pressure for her to be perfect or act a certain way, and for her, running away was the easiest way for her to disassociate herself from that responsibility. No 17 yr old should feel like the weight of the world and the safety of the people that she loves are on her shoulders. My bby @lameparty made an amazing point in our chat about how all of her actions (being more “free” and open about her issues with rue) are futile attempts at replicating the liberation and nonchalant-ness she felt while she was away. It’s her way of desperately (and unhealthily) bringing home that atmosphere.

i’ve seen a lot of people assume that jules is fully aware of her power over rue and takes advantage of it, uses her, and leaves her before she needs her next fix of attention, but i totally don’t agree??? i think that for the most part, jules has been emotionally supportive of rue and has been there for her when she needed her. i mean she did that LITERALLY EVERY EPISODE EXCEPT FOR 6+7 (for good reason. the bitch was going through the mOST). she never wanted or intended for rue to form a dependency on her, she just wanted her best friend to be sober and thrive because her mom was an addict and that ruined her adolescence (for obvious reasons). so when the people around her kept pressuring her with the weight of rue’s sobriety, she freaked out a bit (and for good reason. no one should be anyone’s sole reason to do literally ANYTHING). she knew that regardless of the severity of her actions, rue’s relapse was inevitable if the relationship continued on like that (i mean, in ep. 5, the bitch said WHEN you hate me, not if because she knows that in rue’s current mental state, a relapse, miscommunication, or a wrong step on jules’s side is inevitable). PLUS, jules is an extremely volatile person. her first instinct is to physically and emotionally escape whenever the going gets tough, so i think she knew that this probably couldn’t work.

Moreover, the bitch is embracing her queerness and as much as I don’t really looooveeee how she’s doing it, it makes sense with her character. I think she uses sex as an escape and a form of validation, so of course this is how she’s going to explore her sexuality. She just wants to be free and have fun and be adventurous atm and the whole Nate thing + being in her first relationship is not IT for her rn and that’s totally fair. That being said, I think her arc is gonna be about her accepting that freedom isn’t just sex and drugs??? It’s way more than that and comes in different (and way healthier) ways, but that’s what growing is. It’s learning from mistakes and figuring out what you like, so I can’t really be mad at her.

BUUUUUTTTT, my bitch said/did some things that i can’t stand by. she said that she loved rue at the train station, knowing that rue is weak for her and would probably give in and come with her on this wild adventure. that is FUCKING PROBLEMATIC. and prior to that, the bitch said that she THOUGHT THAT RUE WOULD THRIVE IN THE ENVIRONMENT THAT SHE WAS IN. WHAT??? as much as i believe that she had good intentions and she really just wanted to explore the world with her girl, that doesn’t negate the fact that it’s still manipulative at worst, inconsiderate at best, and problematic considering the dynamic that the two of them have. i get that she genuinely wants rue to meet her new friends and anna, but all in all, it’s so reckless for her to even consider it. she’s aware that rue is a recovering addict and she was willing to put her in a toxic environment where she would be surrounded by drugs and alcohol, making a relapse literally SO EASY. and on top of that, jules knows that she’s probably going to hook up with anna and considering that rue is so in love with jules, that would’ve hurt her soooo much, enough for her to probably want to numb the pain, y’know??? but all in all, that’s what growing up is. it’s two steps forward and one step back, y’know? even though jules is starting to see the beauty in honest communication and queerness, she did try to manipulate rue, even if that wasn’t necessarily her intention.

I think that Anna replaces Jules’s older, non-committal man to pine over. She never really fixed her problem of trying to find validation from the wrong people, it’s just expressing itself in a different form. It’s obvious that Anna is significantly older than her (peep the message that Anna sent about being shocked that Jules is in high school) and I think that just like a lot of people her age, she feels special or validated when she’s liked by someone older and more experienced. The relationship is obviously supposed to be a type of foil to her previous relationship with cis white men. Add the fact that there are facets of Anna’s personality that remind Jules of Rue, the gal that Jules is falling for, which makes them the perfect person for Jules to pine over because the relationship is something that she’s used to (texting, non-committal, toxic).

In summary, I think she loves the idea of Anna (independent, older, experienced, free spirited, and fun) but loves rue regardless of the fact that she doesn’t/can’t provide those things for her. I think that jules also associates Anna with adventure and discovery and as the young ambitious bitch that she is, it obviously is an attractive idea for her y’know??? for her, i think rue is the stability, monogamy and commitment that she might not be ready for yet, even tho she loves rue and wants a future with her. Her relationship with Rue is hard work and maybe a bit heartbreaking, but overall, the connection is stronger and the passion and commitment that she’ll give and receive will make the relationship way more fulfilling than whatever half-assed thing she’ll have with Anna. Next season, she’ll probably come back either heartbroken, unfulfilled or still in love with Rue, but the question is should rue take her back or nah y’know?? She’ll definitely be pining for Rue when she gets back and rue may not be available or willing anymore. We’ll seeeeeeeee.

Rue:

My bitch is in PAIIINNN and I hate it. I think that her saying no to leaving with Jules even if a big part of her wanted to run away with her is amazing progress for her. She finally chose her family and herself first, not Jules, which will break her dependence on Jules. Like, I’m SOOOOO proud of her and she’s come so far as a character. I’m not sure as to where the music video starts and the season ends, but I have two theories. Either she: never actually snorted that line of coke and we’ll see her progress next season OR she overdosed and came back to life. The fact that the song ended so abruptly means that the season will probably start right where it left off. Unless told otherwise tho, the show ends with her crying and remembering her family and all the shit she’s put them through because that’s a waaayyy more interesting arc (EDIT: JACOB SAID THAT RUE’S DEFINITELY ALIVE!!! I KEEP WINNING FR!!! MY! MIND!) She’s no longer a selfish addict with no reason to live. She’s seeing that the people around her, even without Jules there, support her and have been by her side through the most and maybe that’s good enough atm.

Lexi:

against popular opinion, i don’t necessarily think that the big reveal of her sexuality is that she’s a lesbian. to ME, it seems like they’re setting up that she’s ace and probs bi or homo-romantic??? the average sexual person knows who they want to fuck or kiss, and the fact that she has to ask for advice from her sister I think is foreshadowing that she doesn’t know. Not because she’s shy or because she’s a lesbian, but because she truly just doesn’t want to fuck anyone. and if that’s the case i’m SO EXCITED TF??? i’ve never seen that type of character arc on mainstream media and it’s sooo necessary to show that story in a positive light. i think that the show is waaayyy too intentional and clever to not give proper hints at her liking rue. If they were setting up her and rue, they should’ve done more to portray the pining on Lexi’s side. they’ve set up more of a longing for friendship and comfort than anything else and tbh???? that’s wayyy more interesting and relatable for me??? but that’s my opinion 🤷🏾‍♀️

That being said, i could see her and rue together next season bc the foreshadowing is sooo vague that they can do whatever the fuck they want next season. maude and zendaya need to work on their chemistry then bc iTS NOT CLICKING. i definitely think that rue is going to use her tho, which isn’t fair to lexi. additionally, lexi is a bit too soft to stand her ground with rue, and if rue goes down the relapse route next season, their dynamic is going to be the same toxic dynamic they had up until episode 5. She’s an amazing person that deserves better than being an easy out or second best.

i think that because she was raised in her sister’s shadow with a shit ton less attention and love from literally everyone in her family, she has low self-image, so it would make sense that she wants the intimacy that comes from a relationship. maybe her addiction is just being there for others bc no one was there for her when she needed them??? @lameparty spilt the truth tea bc they said that “she exists for other people right now and she exists in the safe + limiting shadow of her sister,” and i think that rue represents a sort of freedom from that because rue is only hers and rue can’t see her as second best to her sister. as a fellow semi-abandoned child turned mom-friend, this makes total sense to me bc she wants to make sure that everyone around her never feels as neglected as she did her whole life.

Rue and Jules:

honestly, i’m tired of people blaming rue’s relapse on jules not being there. she literally has had MI since she was a kid. this shit ain’t new. and even if it was new, the fact that so many of the viewers were angry at jules for not being there during rue’s manic/depressive episode angers me for three reasons. a) JULES WAS DEPRESSED. she legit didn’t leave her bed for the whole week, to the point that her father was worried. b) just like jules, rue probably only told her that she was feeling under the weather and that she missed her. how is she supposed to magically put together that rue is going through a depressive/manic episode??? c) no person should be your sole reason to be happy. y’all want a CODEPENDENCY not a relationship, and like i totally understand wanting to protect rue. she’s the main character and we’re always in her head, but from episode three, it was pretty obvious that her definition of love is really skewed. she said that you know that you love someone when you can’t live without them, which is generally reaaaallly unhealthy.

these two are such an interesting dynamic, and tbh, i think they’re actually really good for each other (not rn, obviously). i think this is a case of right person, wrong time. they’re obviously soul mates/star crossed lovers, but the problem is that neither of them is mature enough to be in a serious relationship. rue is a recovering addict with a dependency issue and jules is an overly eager, ambitious person that’s never been in a loving relationship. one of the biggest issues in their relationship is the fact that these two have different wants and needs from the relationship. rue fell for jules almost immediately, has wanted to be with her ever since, and wants stability, comfort, and monogamy. on the other hand, jules wants adventure, excitement, and exploration. jules obviously pictures spending her life with rue, but the problem is that in the moment, she can’t be with rue without hurting her because she’s still exploring her queerness, which means that she’ll have one foot out the door until she’s gotten her fill.

because of that, i’m really proud of BOTH OF THEM for standing their ground and choosing themselves instead of each other. i have no doubt that both of them had a part of themselves that regretted leaving the other person, but at the end of the day, it was what was necessary.

even though rue was the person that suggested running away, she became hesitant because she finally thought about her FAMILY. y’all, that’s AMAZING character development because, at the beginning of the season, rue literally walked over every person that was in her life in order to get her fix. she stole from her mom, got lexi to pee for her, yelled at fez when he didn’t give her drugs, etc. up until episode 5 or so, rue was an extremely selfish character with one exception: jules. from the moment she met jules, her only goal was to make her as happy as jules makes her just by being there, and because of that, she has sacrificed her comfort in some situations. this is the exact opposite of her previous issue where instead not caring about anyone including herself, she only cares about one person an exceeding amount. both of these are problematic. more importantly, this allows her to finally break her dependency on jules. rue fell for jules and stayed sober for her because it felt like she was her flashlight in the dark cave that is her life, and now, she has to find that jules isn’t the only light. her family, lexi, fez, the rest of the girls are all there AND my hope is that she finds that she can be her own light and do this for herself. as much as her decision hurts both the audience and rue, this shows that she’s not just a stagnant character and that she’s learning and evolving into an amazing person. i’m proud of jules because she didn’t stay behind out of guilt or worry. that would’ve perpetuated rue’s dependency and overall, probably made jules resent rue.

i think that jules was being honest when she said that she was in love with rue, i really do. there was an earnest and almost shy look in her eyes, which was so cute??? but it’s honestly more than that. jules looks for rue no matter where she is. for her, rue is her home and something that she finds comfort in. it was obvious in episode 4 and 7. in episode 4, jules runs to rue because she finds comfort in her. whenever she’s in rue’s arms, she feels a warmth that i don’t think she’s ever felt with anyone else and when she finds that tyler isn’t real, her first thought is that rue has been there for her through thick and thin and is her safe place. it’s obvious why she gravitates towards anna. she sees rue in her, which immediately makes her feel at ease. add the fake deep convo, their sex appeal and the drugs, and you have a hella messy situation. and then there’s the fucking romeo and juliet passage that jules recites to rue that basically says that she’s in love with rue, but thinks everything is happening too fast and will come crashing down. she knows that given that they had more time/weren’t so eager to get together, the relationship would be beautiful and flourish, but they aren’t giving each other the space to grow, which was eventually the end of their relationship (at least for now).

Kat:

I’m proud of her. She did the damn thing. NEXT

Nate:

I think that Nate and McKay are not all that different. His breakdown this ep is more or less for the same reasons as McKay’s breakdown after those guys assaulted him in front of his girl which is that he felt emasculated by his dad overpowering him. In episode two, he did the same flexing thing after his workout. I think it’s his way of feeling powerful and masculine. All this just shows that he needs fucking therapy, but he’s not just some sociopath y’know? His character is deeper than that and can feel pain and anguish. I’m honestly so happy that they included that because it both shows the abuse in his relationship with his dad which obviously carries into his relationships with women and grounds him as a character. that being said, nate is an asshole and there’s no better ship on this show than nate + electric chair 🥺😝😩(but, i’ll settle for prison or whatevahhhhh)

all in all, I think that this show has two amazing themes in it which are: teens are waayyy more resilient than people think and addiction comes in different forms and each of them is problematic and selfish. i think that the show is amazing at getting people to empathize with rue, but i feel like people need to realize that in the grand scheme of things, all of these characters are HUMAN and make a lot of shitty mistakes. no character should be cancelled just because they make a mistake, especially when the characters are supposed to be literal hormonal teenagers????? every character on this show is deserving of the audience's understanding (except McKay. FUCK HIM)

#euphoria #rue x jules #jules x rue #lexi howard #nate jacobs #im spiraling can y'all tell??? akldjfl;asdfkadslkjf;asdkjf;#jules protection squad where y'all AT????

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tlcyellow · 6 years ago

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merlin s2 ep13 the last dragonlord

- season 2 finale lets gooooooo

- things have not kicked off on a positive note lmao. camelot is on fire, people are crying and dying and some are doing both at the same time

- the cause of this is of course the Unhelpful Dragon who has reached a whole new level and has decidedly crossed the line from unhelpful into full on malicious

- camelot is out of water and gwen bravely runs into the chaos to fetch some while gaius is like “GWEN DON’T” but doesn’t move at all and it’s vaguely reminiscent of that scene in willy wonka and the chocolate factory where gene wilder is like “stop. no. come back”

- arthur saves gwen from the dragon which is very romantic and chivalrous and merlin does magic in the middle of the goddamn square where anyone could see him but what else is new

- shirtless bradley james yyyyyyyyYYYYYYEEEEEESSSSS (i swear im a grown woman and not a twelve year old girl)

- uther tells arthur he cant go off in search of someone to tame the dragon and arthur’s like “cool cool i hear what youre saying and im gonna respecfully ignore it. PEACE” which, like, mad respect

- ooh also leon’s there and that is so far he only positive thing that has happened in the episode next to bradley james taking his shirt off

- OHMYGOD IS THIS THE EPISODE WITH MERLINS DAD

- IT IS HOLY SHIT

- no merlin dont cry!!!! hes too emotional about his father!!!! also gaius said he always treated merlin like a son which is beautiful so i might cry too

- i think i’ve mentioned this in the past but I LOVE how whenever arthurs like “i must take this journey *pause for dramatic effect* ALONE” and then five seconds later is like “alright merlin saddle up we’re off on an adventure”

- bradley james taking his shirt off again YESSSS (i hate myself im so sorry. i have a college degree)

- aw arthur notices that merlin is emo. we stan an emotionally sensitive boyfriend

- arthur is like “i know we’re a prince and we can’t be friends. but if i wasn’t a prince.... i think we’d get on” DIRECT QUOTE. more like “get IT on” amiright ladies?? talking about sex

- some random thief man tried to steal arthurs armor and arthur grabbed his arm and it was SUCH a jumpscare i actually yelled out loud

- balinor (merlins dad and also the dragonlord) quote “hates everyone and everything” and lives in a cave. mood.

- what if merlin’s dad was played by colin morgan just with some age makeup and hair extensions? that would be fucking hilarious

- okay so arthur is totally unconscious because of his previous dragon related injury so merlin and balinor have time to #bond

- the dragons name is kilgharrah which is a super ugly name to match the super ugly cgi

- so balinor is very reluctant to help because he hates uther and wants him dead which DONT WE ALL but i dont want anyone else in camelot to die so i sure hope he helps out

- arthur is MUMBLING MERLIN’S NAME IN HIS SLEEP WHAT IS THIS

- we are flashing back to camelot in ruins and everyone is like running in slow motion and its really dramatic and i would expect nothing else from this show

- balinor refuses to help and merlin is like “gaius talked of the nobility of dragonlords. clearly he was wrong” SICK BURN MERLIN

- romantic bro chats by the fire!!!!!!! they’re teasing each other and its adorable. this episode is really making me return to the good old days where i innocently shipped merlin without understanding that it was total queer baiting and the problematic implications that go along with that

- merlin HAS DROPPED THE BOMB that he’s balinors son and theyre both like crying and then arthur just wanders in and ruins the moment

- ohshit merlin gets to become a dragonlord!!! and balinor said “goodnight son” and merlin smiled SO WIDE and was like “sleep well father”. shit i know balinor dies dude this is gonna suck ass

- holy fucking shit balinor is dying right the fuck now. the very next scene. i did not realize this was going to happen so soon. ohmygod this is depressing.

- merlin is actively sobbing and arthur shows up and he has to pretend like he hasn’t been crying at all. this is so rough.

- arthur is announcing to his knights like “we’re gonna fight the shit out of this dragon and we’re almost definitely gonna die. who’s with me????” and my precious baby son sir leon steps forward like the brave little soldier he is WOW I LOVE HIM

- merlin is very stressed and upset which are my two main emotions and he’s like “gaius do you think i’m strong enough to face the dragon?” and gaius pauses for WAY TOO LONG and says “only time will tell”. damn way to be encouraging

- merlin and arthur are very casually joking about the fact that arthur is ready to die today

- WHY DO THEY NOT GIVE MERLIN ARMOR WHEN HE GOES OUT WITH THE KNIGHTS?? like that really just seems unfair that they all get to be like suited up and merlins just in his neckerchief

- okay the dragon immediately knocks everyone off their horses and sets the knights on fire and merlin is like “PLEASE STOP” which as im sure you can imagine is not the most effective way to go about things

- holy shit arthur is ready to face the dragon all on his own which is both incredibly brave and unfathomably stupid. classic gryffindor. he immediately is knocked tf out and its up to merlin to deal with this on his own

- merlin is screaming in dragon language which is kind of cool but as an actor idk how colin morgan did this without laughing

- damn the dragon really has the fucking nerve to be like “please don’t hold me accountable for my actions” even after he torched an entire kingdom

- because he’s the last living dragon merlin spares him with the promise that if he returns to camelot again he will be killed. the dragon flies off which is lucky because i was getting real sick of his bullshit

- arthur comes to and merlin lies to him and says that arthur killed the dragon before he was knocked unconscious and arthurs like “yep that sounds like me. i will not question you further”

- this was a solid season finale except for the fact that morgana wasn’t in it at all :(

next episode: the tears of uther pendragon part 1

#tylers merlin rewatch #merlin #colin morgan #bradley james #angel coulby #katie mcgrath

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moirsvirtuesz · 7 years ago

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i can’t believe I'm still watching this mess: hot take on tessa and scott show- episode 3

(all of these are from messages to my canadian queen @buisnesspartners )

ok i had so many thoughts about this episode that everything is under the cut because it is so long... so strap in kids

i'm gonna start in like 10 min because im cleansing my soul by watching nathan chen and umbrellas

me switching my vpn to canadian:

— julia accidentally sent me a link to a betty crocker cooking video instead of a link to the episode—

thanks to julia i now know how to make Double Chocolate Mug Cake

honestly she was just trying to save me

ok now i’m starting

i want this recap guys voice to wake me up everyday and update me on what bullshit vm did while i was asleep

this intro... *deep sigh*

"scotts making a quick trip home to london" it starts…

"and i'm off to windsor where i'm in my third year of getting my psychology degree" yes t!! go get em!

fuck scott and his gf you are getting your education!

god i hate it but scott looks hot here

but scott don't use a normal knife for pumpkin carving you idiot! you use the use the ragged one that comes in the kit and it works better!

i'm only critiquing his pumpkin carving skills because i gotta focus on something else other than what him and cassandra are saying

scott needs to get it together

"i get like this during olympic year, i get grouchy" during just olympic year scott? i think its just you being in your mid 20’s

i can’t believe t dragged her poor friend into this

scott: *talks about how the stress is getting to him and how its real now* cassandra: “alright..."

scott looks more like death in the interviews in this episode than in the last episode

but he does not look as bad as he did in the first one

*tessa tells a cute story about seeing a cute guy and embarrassing herself* scott: *looks pissed*

scott stop being an asshole and be a good friend

stop making a big deal just because you don't like a band she likes

damn that pair skater has a rocking body though

yess tessa get this pair skater

THEIR TECHNICAL COACH IS NAMED JOHNNY JOHNS

THATS HILARIOUS

this guy is with marina??

somebody actually fucks marina??

and its a guy named johnny john...

smh marina i expected a russian body builder

these rap transitions are the only consistent good thing in this show

"fuck them" ok johnny john you have a point

"i hate it!" lol scotty

scotts lookin hot though

wait... his hotness just got ruined with that camera shot of him walking away in his oversized basketball shorts

tessa honey you look great in these interviews though

"she won't look at me" i wouldn't wanna look at you either scotty when you are acting like such a bitch

"when i was younger i had a temper" younger? yeah nah you still have it

ok but this show is def making them look worse than they are

i need to do a cleanse after this

"how are you feeling about that" lol kate trying to play therapist

FEDOR

FEDOR CALLING SCOTT SCOTTY HAHAHA

fedor: "you're trying too hard" *scott death glare*

also i could imagine russian marina looking at her son and being like "yes my darling you are my new 'footwork coach’”

"i need to blow off some steam" *goes to a place called paradise park*

CHIDDY AND SCOTT SUNGLASSES SLOWMO ENTRANCE IM CACKLING

omg patrick has a girlfriend in this one?

these producers need to get their shit together

if you're going to have fake scenes like chiddy and tessa being set up at least be consistent

*literal grown men playing with go-carts for 3 mins*

scott: "how's your girlfriend?" how are the producers this stupid that last episode they made it seem like scott was jealous of chiddy and now scotts literally asking about his girlfriend

kate: "you met the queen" ugh kate don't remind me of that terrible outfit

oh no a dinner scene with andrew and kaitlyn

"we just get along so well" lol @vm

andrew usually you are my ice dancing giant king but your hair looks so ugly in this

—also nobody @ me for that comment i’m not a fan of weapo or their skating but i am 5’10 and appreciate any semi-hot guy over 6 foot—

ok what is this house by the way?

like is it a restaurant or what?

this is def set up

god i hate them sometimes

"do you guys ever need space" andrew: “nah"

andrew just sounds like a nonchalant guy off an snl skit or something

"team canada baby" scott literally cringes at his own line

they all wanna die

tessa's ugly panda pj's are back!!

they have literally shown the same shot of them on opposite sides of the locker room with scott in a nike shirt like 10 times

lol at them trying to do a storyline and making scott to realize he was being an ass and need to support her

*marina russian voice* : "you have chemistry"

also lol at them playing a song with the words "chemical reaction”

aw this is sweet

its so fake the making up but still sweet

i cant believe i'm an emotional bitch

scott whispering to tessa "yes" was def fake or set up or put in post production but its still fucking me up

i'm jammin to these rap transitions now

"that's a lot of passion for 13 and 15.. what were our parents thinking letting us do those things" honestly the real question scotty was why did your parents let you do carmen and it be their fav program

kate that “he he he” is real creepy

am i emotionally ready for scott abs? no

oh HEY SCOTT ABS

he needs a tan because he literally has a pale body like a vampire

but i guess living your life in an ice rink and being cold hearted to tessa can do that to a man

"i'm a sucker for suspenders" bitch me too the fuck

suspender scott was my fav

haha scott likes the pants now!

"you look so much more beautiful than me" yeah i agree but you have a gf scott

scotts leaving and her little tear thing aw

oh fuck scotts hurt

JOHNNY JOHNS SHUFFLING OVER THERE TO HELP

"will scotts injury melt the ice between them" nice ending quote recap guy

Overall mood for this episode:

And:

#for the books #lindseys reaction to vm show #vm #tessa virtue #scott moir

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survivenovascotia · 4 years ago

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Episode 1 - I have no idea what I'm doing. - Eric

Everyone’s pretty active. Certain people know each other and I’m pretty much a newborn deer in the ORG community. Chrissa says “I’ve added pretty much everyone” as a contact but didn’t add me. So then I added a few people and no response or people added me back. Like my god I could go home for being a newbie. No hun.

I have no idea what I'm doing. It's honestly been so long I'm just trying to talk to everybody and get to know them. I don't remember when the time to start alliances are and other things and it's a whole mess but we are working with it!!

Russell deserves all the wins

So I think Austin and I may have started an alliance. He seems pretty nice and I believe that he wants to be loyal especially since it's only be 2 hours since the game started. I'm hoping tomorrow us two can find some other people to make a larger alliance. I get good vibes from Heather and Chips specifically. Chips I knew before I left the community a while back, and I know he has a lot of passion for ORGs which I think is very valuable in an ally. I also really like Heather because we are very similar people. We are both starting college, both just returned to ORGs. It just kind of felt meant to be. Obviously I have to listen to who Austin likes too. I think when I played orgs in the past, my errors were both not making the alliances soon enough, and also trying to control them. If I want to win, I have to play differently.

Im BACK. Imma make this quick. Welcome to Cast First Night Impression Vibes Coco~ Havent Spoken to him too much yet since it was 4AM when things came out for him. Seems sweet. Says he played on tengaged and zwooper. Stephen~ We played in the past. I think 2 games, one where I was completely against him and one where I tried to be on his side then everyone voted him out early. I think both were atomic games. He messaged me right away since he knew I took a long boi break which was nice. Gotta talk to him a bit more. Austin~ Seems pretty chill, we had convo about horror stuff and atm talking about Winners at War (I'm not gonna spoil anything. Don't yall worry) I can definitely see potentially working with him. Livingston~ Talked for a little bit. Shared a little bit of theatre stuff with each other since he does a lot of tech for his school where as I do onstage and offstage things. There is potential. Dylan~ We talked a bit. Im vibing. I hope he is too. talked more music tastes and all. POTENTIAL Eric~ Eric and I are one. We were talking and realized we are the same person and are the voices in each others head. I definitely want to work with him the most out of anyone so far. Splat/Evan~ Pretty chill tried talking to him. I feel a connection but like not like the biggest. I think things could definitely look up in the future tho Chips~ CHIIIIIIIPS. I love Chips. I didn't talk to him as much as I should have my previous game with him like 2 YEARS AGO. We talked a lot today and I think this game I can possibly work with him. Glo~ We played a big brother org together toward the beginning of my break, which was a rough time in my life and why I stick to survivor games. She messaged me and I messaged back, but I have yet to get another message from her yet. We will see in the morning. FOR IDOL SEARCHES: I checked an I am gonna write down the paths I take. I got a deadend this time.

GLO GLO is spilling the tea . I have only done live chat with DYLAN so far but OMG we connected and he reminded me of two players I loved and do to this day one for over 10 year the other for 5 years who are close to me to this day. Me and Dylan connected talked about life game laughed shared stories and somehow FINAL 2 has evolved and I am super happy about this.

Ok this is the most social I’ve ever been at the start of a game I called Gloria since we’re both I Love Money alumni & we hella bonded ??????? She’s so sweet 🥰🥺🥰🥺 we literally talked for two full hours on cast reveal day, wow. I would love to work with her far into this game, maybe even to the end 🤭 if we could do that Stephen is cool, I’d like to work with him. He’s loyal & smart & good at challenges so ✌🏻 Eric & I had a very interesting dynamic in middle earth, but I think we were able to smooth over that together Evan also seems really cool, I just met him but we’ve already switched friend codes so it’s getting pretty serious also glo was like ‘You better not betray me for a man you have a crush on’ and I was like uhhh I’m emotionally unavailable don’t worry glo you’re safe

I feel less stressed atm. Chatted to a couple people. Nothing major, no alliances made (or if add production to it). I hope I can continue manoeuvre my way to find a footing in this alliance otherwise I’ll be the first boot and be annoyed at myself. Just worried about past connections and my no connections.

Heyyy, first confessional of the season!! So the tribe seems pretty chill, no one i hate, a few i know. Dylan and Heather might be an issue if they hold grudges? But i doubt it. What I’m really looking for healre is a solid group of 4, I could see chips and heather being a part of that as they arent goats, but who knows. The idea is to group with people who will play and take the heat off me, instead of goats who might gang up on me at end game

Personally coming into this game as a new player, one of my biggest concerns were past relationships. So I talked with my secret alliance member Choo about who he has played with in the past, and he mentions Austin. After doing that, I ask Austin who he has played with in the past, and he tells me that he has never played with anyone before. Immediately I knew he was bullsh*tting. However, I really need to keep my mouth shut that Austin lied about this to me, but when the time comes, I'll be sure to expose his ass.

My strategy in this game is to create as many options for me to take as possible to get to the end. The way I'm doing that is by playing the "clueless 16 year old" card so that people see me as naive, when in reality, I'm probably just as ready to backstab, lie, cheat, steal just as much as any of these people are, if not more. So far it seems to be working and I sense that a lot of people feel as though they can trust me. But I will take the option that best suits me.

Immediately I was able to create a secret alliance with Coco, due to a mutual friend, being Evanw919. Evan is one of my best friends irl and was actually the person that introduced me to this game. After talking to Coco a lot, I feel as though he is someone I can trust, and I do intend to go as far as I can with him... unless it's in my best interest to take him out if necessary. I may intend on trusting him, but I don't intend to let friendships impact my decision making.

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First day went great I feel ! Everyone is super nice so far and I hope we can win a few challenges together. COCO IS HERE! I love coco and hope we can go far together already . I have trusted him before and it turned out really good for me. Glo is a sweetheart and gotta love her. Livingston is nice and so is chips tho I feel they may need to go down the road. Stephen and me have talked a lil in the community so I feel I can maybe trust him . I'm excited and nervous to be playing again but ready to go !

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I like this cast and like the people on my tribe i hope they are not too annoyed hearing about my internet but they have to know what they might be dealing with obviously it only happens at certain times depending how many people are on the internet with rogers, so if i get voted out cause of it i won't be mad, but also i am hoping for a lockdown end sooner than later so we can switch providers. as John Coffey said it's a very bad time to be having these internet problems.

Okay! The season is officially on! Not much to report about yet but I want to make a confessional right now just in case I forget to do it later. Gotta avoid those strikes! So far all I know about my tribe is that John Coffey and I briefly played together in a previous game, though we weren’t ever on the same tribe, and Chrissa and I played together at some point though I can’t remember anything about when we did. I’m looking forward to the challenge and I hope we can crush it!

I have managed to talk to everyone on my tribe and I definitely feel good vibes from most apart from maybe Livingston who doesn't really seem interested in talking to me. What is interesting that Evan asked me if I had known anyone from previous game(s) and I told him I knew Austin and Livingston BUT Austin told him that he knew NONE. So now Evan doesn't trust him but trusts me. I really like Evan,Eric, Heather, Austin and also Glo and Dylan. I'd like to work with them but mostly with Evan, Eric, Heather and Austin.

Right now what I'm trying to do is to get these people caught in a lie, but I intend to save the lie to expose them when the time is right. People say one of the worst mistakes you can make in survivor is playing too hard too fast. However, playing hard quickly can be gotten away with if you are sneaky about it and don't get caught. I'm trying to get these people to think I'm incompetent as they aren't even aware they are being manipulated

2ND Confessional OK so far my 2 favorites I have talked to are Dylan and if the truth is being told we are in 2 man alliance. @nd I have messaged with most is CoCo real name David. He said he is knew to orgs and is afraid of alliances happening which probably is true. Dylan and I both like CoCo so we are bring him in as our 3rd hopeful in a possible alliance. CoCo actually said he wanted to work with me so hopefully I have him and Dylan watching my back as I will them if they stay loyal but if they run their mouth goodbye quick if needed. So far I am happy with these two and have no idea what other two I hope to round up. Both Dylan and I agree about getting CoCo with us and hope it don't backfire with a new player to orgs.

I’ve chatted to Kevin and acted like I’m paranoid (I am a wee bit but I’m definitely adding spice) and he’s like “If I hear your name I’ll let you know” which is what I’m looking for. If I can play a ditzy “I’m just happy to be here!” act I think it’ll make the more strategic players come to me and make them act like I’m a pawn in their chess game. (I have good episode title material Yass). Also I’m gay.

I love music video challenges, but everyone seems to not like them so I am a bit nervous. I got closer to Coco and I love him!! I definitely wanna work with him and he said he feels comfortable with me Austin and Eric, which same so I right now feel good but its only been a day. I hope we get a good score, although we already know one person who would prefer to not be in it oof.

The idol hunt, love the idea. Me and Darcy are working together and telling each other where we went. My first way was a flop, not helpful. Darcy’s first route was T2, R, L, R, R and went out and my first route was shorter. I think if we keep going this way we’ll get to the idol soon. I told Darcy to go T2, R, L, R, L, L as I think that will bring us closer.

They voted Call Me Maybe. I want to die but I want to win more so HEY I JUST MET YOU

Have I confessed too much in the past few hours? Nah. So Coco and I are planning to work together and we seem to be on the same wavelength and he seems to trust me. He shared about his idol hunt and I think we are gonna try and map out together different tunnels. I mentioned how I dont think anyone would have the idol yet, but I could be wrong. We also talked about hoping to get Austin and Eric in to potentially work together, which I am down for as long as we can get the numbers. I do think I have to feel out more before I do anything drastic as we LITERALLY HAVENT DONE A CHALLENGE YET. Any who, I think I am having a decent social game at the moment, but you know thats just my point of view. I hope no one hates me yet (thats for later). I wanna do a tribe call but Im lowkey nervous that chaos will ensue or it will be too quiet for some reason. I mainly want it to form more bonds with people, and possibly play a jackbox game of fibbage to see who the best liar is (it is a science).

Looking at my options for a four-man super-team power-rangers/voltron alliance, my instinct is to team up with Chips, Heather, and Dylan. While one benefit is I have some prior experience with each of these guys, the main reason is that each of these have made a consistent effort to talk to me and we have some form of rapport. Glo has also tried to talk to me but like, I know nothing about her? Its been hard to have a clear conversation. The others are fine, we’ll see how we go.

should i aim for chips-heather-dylan for a 4 alliance? or chips-heather-eric?? i know its early but this kind of alliance should be i think, at the same time though being pushy can lead to being seen as a threat... maybe i should wait to see if we loose immunity

The tea is that today Evan told me he had formed a secret alliance called "Florida" w Heather. I am okay w it because I trust both of them! We made an agreement that Evan would check tunnel 1, I would do 2 and Heather would check 3 for the idol. I hope I managed to put myself in a decent position. That's all for now I guess.

So last night we decided to pick Call Me Maybe as our song for the Lip Sync challenge which is iconic and the pretty people tribe will win!! Today was a little bit more lowkey. I spent a majority of the day finishing off my persuasive speech assignment. Towards the afternoon though, Heather talked to me about how we could work together in the game and I was REALLY glad for that. I was intending on talking to her anyway about starting an alliance with her. Earlier, Austin and I confirmed our strategical bond by making an alliance and talking about who we would want to join us. I said Heather and Austin said Coco. I really like both so I'm glad. Heather told me that she was told about the 4, so it's nice to see that everyone's on the same page. Hopefully we win the challenge, but at the moment I feel good about the group that's beginning to form.

My one fear in this challenge (aside from public humiliation) is that I think our songs a little basic and too over done? We’ll find out how the judges feel I guess

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I don’t have much new to report other than Mac saying he wants to work with me in the game. So I’ve got that going. John’s a fantastic guy and I’d love to get something going with him too. That’s a far cry from a majority in this game but it’s a start. I’m hoping we can pull through and win this challenge so we don’t have to worry at all about going to tribal first. I’m not confident enough in my position in the game right now that I’d be able to survive a tribal.

Soooooo a alliance finally started with me eric , evan, heather,and coco which I'm 100% down for with the time being . I really like everyone tho so I hope we win this first challenge . Even tho I really hate music videos . I'm awkward and never know what to do . Hopefully my tribe can carry me by with this one .

Eric tells me about this 5 person alliance plan, with himself, Austin, Heather, Coco, and myself. What I tell him, is that I am completely comfortable going with his plan and that I feel blessed to be a part of the group. However, what Eric doesn't know, is that I was the one who initially created this plan. There's a core secret 3 person alliance here with Coco, Heather and myself, along with two semi-trustworthy guys in Eric and Austin. The best part about this, is that Eric and Austin have no idea that they are on the bottom of the alliance. In fact, they think they were the ones to instigate it.

So tis' 10:53 PM on a april 12th night and the alliance between myself, Heather, coco, austin and evan is official. Coco really wanted evan involved and honestly evan is really cool and kind of a mini-me so I'm fine with him being involved. Austin and Heather also like evan so everything's good. I hope we win the challenge because I like the whole tribe but the others haven't talked with me quite as much. Glo is nice but when she dms she, she explains herself like Im silently disproving of her which is weird because she can do whatever she wants idc she's a queen. Chips is nice and we talked the most out the other 4, but sometimes I don't understand what he's saying. I don't think that's a bad thing necessarily, but I just feel more comfortable around the other 4. Stephen and Dylan are nice as well and I think they are cool, but we just haven't really got to talk that much. I really hope we win the challenge because I don't want to vote anyone out but we will see.

Wow ok Im in an alliance. Me like that. I named us the prettier people because we call our tribe the pretty people tribe. I really like the people in it as it includes Austin, Eric, Evan and Coco. Evan wants to make Coco Evan and I the core 3 in the group, however, I feel closest to Coco and Eric as of right now. Lets hope we need to talk game more LATER since I want to win the challenge rather than vote someone off. Im hoping I can somehow get alliances with the Eric Austin side, making us a core 3, and the Coco Evan side making us a core 3.

Oop Stephen is trying to form a tight 3 person alliance, today is the rise of the game play

So i decided on forming an alliance of three instead, smaller but a bit less intimidating, and I let Heather choose the third for diplomacy, she chose austin who wouldnt be my first choice but still good. Hopefully this is a good first step.

Alliance 1: The Prettier People: Me, Coco, Austin, Eric, Evan Alliance 2: The Chatty Trio: Me, Austin, Stephen (Stephen mentioned sides with Livingston and Chips as well so Id say they are affiliations) Alliance 3: Unnamed as of right now and yet to form a chat: Me, Coco, Evan I guess Austin sees us working well together so Id say that's definitely a plus so woo This happened very quickly. It has been quite an Easter in Canada

Sunshine and myself had a nice long Skype call last night getting to know each other! Darcy was there for much of it as well but it was mainly Sunshine talking. It feels really good to build a bond early on and I’m hoping we can keep that up and work together in this game. Right now Jessie seems to be the least active person on the tribe. She doesn’t really speak much in tribe chat and I’ve only had a brief conversation with her in PMs.

WE WON! Call me maybe more like Call us the winners BABY WOOOOOOOOO

Hey so I just got off an almost hour long call with Glo... and she is terrifying!!! Seriously if it wasn’t for the fact I’m 80% sure I couldn’t do it I’d want her out first. HOWEVER We Won!!!!! party party. While early tribals can be good I feel like I’m doing well enough in the bonding not to need it.

WE WON WOOOO. I was so worried!! We can all live in peace for a day Bless Up

Russell deserves to win

Well we lost the first immunity challenge which is a huge hit to morale. My only goal for the next 24 hours is to just convince people to not write my name down. I don’t feel like I’ve bonded as much as I should have with some people but I think I can keep my name off the block. I’ve already spoken with Mac, Darcy and Kevin and they’ve all agreed to work with me. So that’s 4 of the 5 majority there. I had a long call with Sunshine last night so I think I can get him on my side as well. I should be okay. But things can change so quickly in this game. As for who I’d like to vote out. Jessie has been the least active in tribe chat. But Dan is who I’ve spoken with the least out of everyone. Kevin being on exile island makes this vote both easier and more difficult. There can’t be a rock draw. Someone is getting straight up voted out.

I asked the chat if anyone had animal crossing & Evan was like ‘chip does’ literally WHAT how close are y’all ?? Evan said this was his first ever ORG. Also he straight up asked me who I knew already & who was trustworthy. Like HUH. We played smash bro’s together tho after that so I think we’re chill Anyways, I like everyone on the tribe. Glo wants to form a threesome w us & Coco which I am down for. Heather & Eric both scare me 😟 I always get so paranoid at the start of orgs I’m So glad we won that challenge bc I would be so scared of going home 🥺🥺

in alliance with Dylan who stole that video and challenge we won. My power went out and neighborhood destroyed with storm all I could do was in house by window scene and was worried I wouldn't get anything submitted but I did get something in thank goodness but I sucked. I have talked to Stephen and have talked to Chips and like both of them. I like Coco also but time difference is killing us trying to chat live but we will make it happen. I am proud of Dylan in that video so much. I want to talk live with Austin cause I have a feeling I will like him but time will tell. Glad did not have to vote anyone out and i was scared it might have been me. We only won by a point so that was close call for sure. I still try to message and reach people but getting some to talk live is hell. Only one I talk game with is Dylan and nothing heavy yet. lol

At the immunity challenge today, I believe I did a very good job staying in the middle in terms of how much work got done. I didn't do all the work, but I did enough so that I wouldn't get targeted for doing nothing

There's no denying that online survivor attempts to be fairly similar to how survivor is on T.V. However, there are still some very key differences between the two. One very important distinction is how much easier it is to get away with lying. This is because for one, they can't read your face, and two, the person lying has time to think about what they want to say before they say it. These two factors can make it much easier to lie compared to real life. Right now I'm lying to almost everyone except for Coco, who I feel would likely be a goat who I can take to the end. Don't get me wrong, I am ready to play this game very hard and do what it takes to win, regardless of if my tribe mates see that or not.

Gloria is lowkey weirding me out a little bit. Why does this old lady want to video chat with a 16 year old boy that she's never had a SINGLE conversation with? Why is she consistent continuing to ask about it? These are questions I do have, but in the game of survivor, sometimes you can't always know the answer. If I did ask, I could potentially find myself in hot water and cause bad vibes from her, so as of now I just need to keep declining her requests to video chat until I send her old ass home.

So coming into this game, I see Kevin and Darcy on my tribe, and I have a relatively okay history with them. However, Kevin is the only one that is really talking to me right now other than Sunshine. Sunshine is sooo TALKATIVE AND ANNOYING!!!!! OMFG HE WONT SHUT UP! However he is good in challenges, so he needs to stick around. honestly I have had no game talk with anyone as of yet, so I dont have much to write about.

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Hey sis, not much has happened which is worrying. Me and Darcy haven’t found the idol which is annoying. I talked to a couple people about the vote and some hadn’t made their mind and I said Chrissa or Jessie as the vote. The lack of people talking is scary tbqh.

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I hate losing cause judges are blind they are wrong anyway on a personal note if i am still in the game at this point my internet should be running better cause my mom finally gave in and called bell to switch. But i am gonna be real no one has messaged me so idk how safe i feel.

Me being able to get Chrissa out first vote. WOW COME ON NEWBIE! Snakes, they like to stay hidden. Blend in. If a person sees a snake slithering around hissing all the time, people will react negatively to the snake. But if the snake has been blending into it’s surroundings, the person wont realise. I don’t know if I’d call myself a villain or anti-hero. The reason why I want Chrissa out is because she has a bad social game and I want to keep around people who I’ve bonded with. (I swear I’m kind in real life!)

It’s certainly looking like the vote is going to be Chrissa tonight. I’m a little sad at that since she’s a genuinely wonderful person. Something about this game is just making me super depressed. Everyone’s been so nice and friendly. Everyone has put effort into the game. But Chrissa’s name was the first one thrown out and it’s just sticking. I can’t even think of another name to throw out instead. This game is going to be rough to play I think. Usually I’m not so invested in my other tribe mates but I would truly like for all of us to win this game.

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swearronchanel · 8 years ago

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My thoughts during 6.04🙃

You know me by now, I have a lot running through my head when I watch Call The Midwife but don’t we all?? Just saying now it’s long lol

“Our deepest desires are never simple” already deep af Vanessa

MY BBY TRIXIE is SERVING LOOKS😍 LOVE HER OUTFIT

SHE’S ON THE KEEP FIT SIGN AH

What’s up with Sister J dramatically putting on her veil?

Patrick’s going to give Shelagh roses aw omg

Why is he acting so weird with Tim?

Keep fit lit, shit I need to get fit again 😂 I’m going to Miami in less than a month & I’m fat damn Lmaoo whoops

SHELAGH💕😭 my bby. We are regressing in wardrobe though, what happen to the cuter nighties

“I prefer pink anyway” aww

Don’t fuck with Sister Douglas. She’s not taking any shit

Trixie smacking Barbara hips emphasizing “sensible briefs” 😂😂

Shelagh in the wheelchair, I can’t 😭😪 don’t cry bby

PHYLLIS, A GEM

Trixie if you’re unfit then what am I?

“I’m hanging on too” 😭💔

I need Trixie’s black pyjamas, also I need to look like Helen George like how do I become that perfect ?

But being more realistic, I want Trixie’s wardrobe

Poor Marnie

But um that kid is too big to be in a pram?? I see so many too old kids in coches all the time in Manhattan & it bothers me lol

Aw Shelagh laying down, she’s so pretty omg

fuck she’s bleeding again no

BRB CRYING AS SHE CRIES

Tom is so handsome but I don’t like the gelled up hair

Also glad Trixie asked him to visit Marnie

“Elderly primigravida, aged 36” there’s everyone’s answer 😭 so what is Shelagh & Patricks exact age difference?

My poor bby 💔💔 you don’t deserve this

This doctor is kinda an asshole wtf?! I will fight him. He can catch these firey hands for his shitty bedside manner with bby

Yes Shelagh you tell him!

“They’ve gone to hell in a handcart” me handling this semester to be honest

{Phyllis on being akela} “I find small boys exasperating” SAME, THEY ARE GREMLINS AH, I don’t like little boys older than like 7 years old😂

Did I mention I love Phyllis yet? Cause I do

@ dot, I don’t see you helping her keep her flat but you want her child?

I👏🏼don't👏🏼like👏🏼this👏🏼Doctor👏🏼

FUCK YES DELIA, TELL HIM, “though she be but little she is fierce”

I’m pretty sure that’s what Anna had in Downton Abbey?? why do they make it seem like it’s a new producer?

PHYLLIS TESTING WHISTLES, YES.JUST YES. I APPULD EVERY THING SHE DOES

So Trixie picked out magazines & Phyllis sent candy but UGGHH I’m still upset we didn’t have any scenes of anyone at Nonnatus finding out she was pregnant or hospitalized ??

“We may have to stop hoping and we were without hope for any kind of years” KNIFE IN MY HEART & TEARS IN MY EYES

I cry 90% of the time Laura Main is on screen

SHE’S SPECTACULAR BUT PLS @ WRITERS GIVE HER HAPPIER SCENES TO PLAY & PROTECT MY BBY AT ALL COSTS. I’m serious. ** Also again I’ll say it till I die Laura Main (& this show in general) does not get the recognition she deserves

I’m looking at you Golden Globes/SAG/ etc. Downton was nominated for everything, but it’s time to move on.

Don’t come at @ me though I love downton

Gloria is also breaking my heart too, she’s staying so positive though 😭💔

No one gives a shit about your doorbell dot (also is her hair a wig cause I kinda hate it)

“He said he wanted his own flesh and blood or nothing” that makes me so sad & upset

Sister Julienne genuinely excited about a new midwife is adorable & she is an angel

Yes Trixie! SISTER MC IS NOT A PARCEL!? But a tracking number would be convenient at the moment. WHERE IS SHE ?!

So is Tom going to tell Marnie he was adopted?

Why is everyone acting like Shelagh didn’t adopt Angela that a young mother that couldn’t keep her?

Glad I knew Trixie and Barbara already knew that Tom was adopted because I would’ve wondered why they didn’t say anything

Violet is so cute haha

Ew the gremlins are here

PHYLLIS HAS THEM TRAINED LIKE PUPPIES I LOVE IT

Can Angela speak? Serious question

YES TIM, IT’S ABOUT TIME YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. Like seriously there’s no way a 15yr old is always so agreeable with their parents

“Go to the pub” I’m dead

Tim snuck out to the hospital omg my heart

Aw Delia letting him in 😭thank u deels! but why did no one visit Shelagh wtf? not even sister Julienne??

Forceps oh no. OMG THIS LOOKS SO PAINFUL

and after watching this show for song long it doesn’t phase me? but I still don’t like to think about giving birth one day lmaoo

“He’s a man” lol but it was also about time Shelagh & Tim had a cute scene😭😭

PATRICK BOUGHT BEER FOR THEM AW

also makes me kinda nauseas to think about alcohol right now because I drank a little too much last night whoops

WOW PATRICK AND TIM, THIS WAS CUTE FATHER & SON TIME

Now is baby Turner going to be a boy of girl?? They have one of each & it could go either way

NO POOR GLORIA💔I can’t take it

ugh and Shelagh’s face again I cry

Sister Winifred actually getting some attention

holy shit this is all so sad I can’t

Tom is short for Thomas? Seems obvious but I never thought about it

En el nombre del Padre y del Hijo y del Espiritu Santo, Amen💔 & sister Winifred doing the cross😭 it always reminds me of my abuela because she always does that if you say something hypothetically tragic. Actually she just does it a lot.

“You can cry if you want to. There will be better days than this” I’m crying & I really like Sister Douglas

“So no Americans?” “and No men” 😂 PHYLLIS I LOVE YOU BUT GIVE US A CHANCE?

I’m sad that Phyllis would probably not like me

A lot of us suck but not me damn it.😭 I wish they’d write a story for an American even if it’s for like 2 mins as an extra, I’D PLAY IT FOR FREE. Yo could you imagine? I’d be shook

SISTER MJ’S REACTIONS TO ALL THE APPLICANTS KNOCKING ON THE DOOR ARE KILLING ME I LOVE HER. I NEED THAT IN GIF FORM

I also need to screenshot sister j with her hand to her head because that’s me 24/7

“Nursing treats young working class girls the way the world treats women. They’re all over them when there’s a war on. Afterwards, nobody wants to know.” PHYLLIS FucKING CRANE I LOVE YOU.

this Shelagh and Gloria scene is making me cry once again 😪😪

Why didn’t Tom tell Marnie he was adopted? I thought that was happening, maybe not

SISTER J IN A PUB AH

“Is this what is known as a lady’s glass?” THIS IS GREAT IM HERE FOR SISTER J IN THE PUB, SHE KNOWS WHAT’S UP TOO

Still conflicted on Valarie/Valerie (Idk?¿) because I liked her in episode 2 but um she seemed lowkey racist in the clip from the casebook so?

WAIT MARNIE’S KEEPING THE BABY?

ALSO DID THEY PAY HER RENT?

“I’ve got this idea in my head that next year, or that the year after, it’ll be a lovely bunny day and I’ll be down chrisp street market, pushing a pram and somewhere near the flower stall, I’ll look up and I’ll see you pushing a pram and we’ll smile, and we’ll pass the time of day” “that would be lovely wouldn’t it?” I AM NOT OKAY😭😭

GLORIA’S DREAM BETTER COME TRUE

I really didn’t think Marnie was keeping the baby though

Now I feel sad for Dot because she has to give him back

“I wanted a particular doctor and he has a very busy schedule” OMG IT’S PATRICK. I LOVE SISTER DOUGLAS

HE HEARS THE HEARTBEAT. NOW SHE DOES, HER FACE AHHH

I AM DROWNING IN MY OWN TEARS OVER HERE. SAVE ME. WHY AM I SO EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED?

Didn’t that one magazine say Tom was going to comfort Shelagh though? We were played Lmaoo

Sister J basically said she had the job already so what’s the big deal about the letter?

Aw the park, Let’s get it 1962👏🏼👏🏼

SHELAGH WAS DISCHARGED, I AM SO HAPPY. LOOK AT MY BBY SMILING 😭💕 PLS NO MORE SADNESS FOR THE TURNERS THIS SERIES

THIS CHARIOT RACE IS ALSO THE GREATEST THING

MY BBY TRIXIE IN HER LEOTARD OUTSIDE 💖

SISTER JULIENNE PUSHING DELIA & SISTER WINIFRED PUSHING SISTER MONICA JOAN. I LOVE IT SO MUCH

I’m so caught up in all this I missed whatever the hell Vanessa Redgrave said but I’m sure it was profound 😭😭

BONUS NEXT WEEK’S PREVIEW:

The real test will be if she gets on with everyone, wait where is she going to sleep? Sister MC’s room?? Delia’s??

Aw that’s Reggie I presume 😭

Vi and Fred getting a storyline though

“Together we’re going to save the borough’s teeth” why does it amuse me?😂

TRIXIE’S LOVE INTEREST IS A DENTIST? He better be worthy of my bby because I’m not dealing with any bullshit, she deserves the world. & No she doesn’t need a boyfriend at all but like I’m still here for it & more Trixie screen time is good to me

SISTER MJ CRYING? WHY??

Oh shit that’s why. Where tf is Sister Mary Cynthia? Northfield? Fuck I’m not going to be ready for next week

Like not at all. 99.9% chance I will be sobbing

#call the midwife #why am I emotionally invested #when did i become this person #lets get it 1962 #protect my bbys at all costs though #im still crying #my commentaries™

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spotlightsaga · 8 years ago

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Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews… Baskets (S02E05) Fight @fxnetworks Airdate: February 16, 2017 Ratings: 0.463 Million / 0.19 18-49 Demo Share Score: 9.75/10

**********SPOILERS BELOW**********

I just summed up exactly how I felt immediately after watching this episode of ‘Baskets’ on the comment section of AV Club’s Vikram Murthi’s 'Fight’ review (who pretty much nails this episode btw). I wrote, “I love that 'Baskets’ puts me in this emotional cyclone of indecision… I don’t know whether to laugh or cry… So mostly I just well up and look confused.” That was my immediate thought, as soon as the end credits roll. I might need to medicate myself for this one, because I’m about to let you in to a dark time in my life… It’s funny that I’ve never really felt like I had anything in common with Dale, but in Chip’s search for himself in the start of S2 it really put me into reflection mode, looking back at a time in my life when I just threw myself recklessly into any experience I felt would give me something I didn’t already have. I was already smart, educated, but I needed real life experience and I needed to run off to find myself. It’s a painful memory, but it’s bittersweet too. I was just so lonely, so angry, and so confused.

Now Chip has returned from his emotional journey and he’s in an almost catatonic, hangover like state. He’s never been emotionally mature, and may never earn that title, but he’s a little closer than he was before. We must give him that. This comes at a time when Dale has lost everything. Dale sees that growth in Chip and even though Chip & Dale are far from the stars 'the other twins’ are… Dale is trying to gain a sense of himself back, he’s trying to let out all this emotion he’s been repressing and the slightest thing is going to set him off, one way or another… Because really he’s isn’t facing the issues, he’s just vibrating as much tension and chaos from his inner soul as much as he can… Even getting a tramp stamp tattoo of Florence & The Machine’s 'The Dog Days Are Over’, which he calls 'Florence Machine’ btw.

Back in 2011, I had a friend who was like a little sister to me. She was my little raver protege as I was still trying to hold on to my DJ & Event Production career. 2010 and 2011 were awful years for the state of Florida and directly effected the entire Southeast Region, the East Coast, and most of the US. Governor Rick Scott was pocketing money as he invited Pharmaceutical Companies to make Oxycodone and other Opiates by the loads. 2007 and up there was a 'doc shop’ on every corner and if you were in a car accident or anything, they’d send you to a bit of physical therapy and then pain management where they’d over-prescribe pretty much anything. I was in a few car accidents and messed up my back pretty bad, it’s still messed up today, several discs moved around pressing on places they shouldn’t be pressing and I was lonely here… And I allowed myself to be prescribed an ungodly amount of Oxy’s and a variety of meds. After several years of battling it out, I decided to wean and go clean, completely. I’m not going to lie to you, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, I was a terror. and my demons were swirling around me… But I did get clean, a few mishaps, but I beat it. As corny as it sounds, just like Dale I’d put on 'Florence & The Machine’, 'Matt & Kim’, & other uplifting Indie Music that got the endorphins and chemicals my brain no longer knew how to make going and just go bananas.

Then that girl, my little protege, gave up her Ultra Music Festival Ticket that year, because she knew i needed it… Because she knew I needed the fucking soulful, shamanistic cleansing, all night power play of DANCE AND SWEAT AND SPIRITUAL HEALING, a $400 ticket… A week later she sent me a strange text… And then the next day her 'boyfriend’ called me and told me that she had passed, overdosed on a combination of Oxy, Xanax, Heroin, and Cocaine… And the fact she was diabetic didn’t help. He was so fucked up, he was laying right next to her and didn’t notice her convulsing and violently twitching, vomiting forwards until she choked on her own vomit. So when he woke up, there she was, purple and covered in vomit… Gone.

This was a reason to keep going I told myself. I couldn’t just throw away the progress so I wouldn’t have to feel this. It was a strange funeral because it was my first Jewish funeral. Because of her tattoos and bohemian lifestyle, she was unable to rest with her family. She was a baby, 19, but after the funeral I went back to the building where she died and met other people who she positively effected in her life. It was beautiful… Through this terrible tragedy came stories of life and love and hope. My mother called and I went into the high rise patio overlooking downtown Miami… We were so high up I could see all of Miami in its vast, sprawling, confusing, hodgepodge of a mega metropolis. I wanted to tell my mother that through this death I found light… But she had news for me right there, it couldn’t wait… I had to come to her home… Her sister, my aunt, who was also very much my sister… Something I cover in depth in my reviews of NBC’s 'This Is Us’ (particularly episode 'The Trip’), she had taken her own life with similar drugs that had just claimed my lil’ Miami sis, my little 'Fanch Queen’…. And now I had to immediately leave Miami to go face another loss across the nation. This time the light would fade for me. I would self-destruct in a manner like never before. But that story is for another day.

I share this, because as I watch 'Baskets’, we see Chip & Dale, who are twins, played by the same man, Zack Galifianakis, going through very different stages in their life, but meet each other at this weird transitional time in their life as if they are one, or the two halves that make one… Somehow never ever feeling complete. I have been in both of these transitional phases and dealt with them similarly. We see Chip & Dale fight each other and absolutely destroy Christine’s house while she’s out at Costco dealing with a frozen card issue because of the flag that was put on it from bailing Chip out of jail out of town. Sure, it’s hilarious and absurd, but I see a man wrestling with himself… Not two men going at it. Dale picks up portraits of his self as a child and smashes it shaming himself for failing. Chip & Dale will never be their adopted brothers, big International DJ stars… At their best, they find happiness in their sadness, content in a simple life of trial & error, and really they don’t need the glitz and glamour of international stardom, tho it would be nice. It would always be nice.

The house is destroyed, everything broken, including the toilet which had overflowed sewage all throughout the first floor and Christine’s prize cat, Ronald Reagan, escapes in the chaos. This sort of snaps them back into reality and they end up rolling through the neighborhood shouting, 'Ronald Reagan, Ronald Reagan!’ repeatedly. Chip asks Dale why they didn’t talk about Dad, which was quickly answered by Dale that it was a giant waste of time. Chip is ready to push on emotionally and tackle these issues and Dale just keeps screaming 'Ronald Reagan’ out of the window of the car. Eventually their search leads them to a small bridge of train tracks, one with great significance. This is the bridge that their father killed himself on. As things calm down and the realization of where they are sets in, Chip asks Dale if he ever comes there. Dale denies it. Then Chip asks if he believe what Christine had told them, that their father 'just fell off the bridge as he was admiring the river’s beauty’. Chip admits that he believed it for a time, in which Dale responds 'Well then you’re dumber than you look’.

This is the moment that brings its all home. Chip tells Dale that it’s ok to be angry, which at first he vehemently denies. “I’m not angry, Im just full of beans, so many goddamn beans.” Dale proceeded to repeatedly bang his head on the horn of the modest four door sedan and just emotionally breaks down, crying real tears. 'Emotionally Mature’ Chip has just helped his brother make a breakthrough. He IS angry, Dale admits that while Chip is going around the country spreading 'emotional diarrhea’ everywhere, that he’s at home doing business… As he’s felt like since Chip is the free spirit that he’s had to be the responsible one. Even more important, Dale admits he was worried about Chip while he was train spotting. At that very moment Ronald Reagan runs across the train tracks on the bridge, 'Ronald Reagan almost did what Daddy did’, Dale barks. Chip opens up a can of tennis balls which Reagan associates with canned tuna, or cat food and comes running to them like magic…. I keep remarking and reciting on lines, but this episode was just full of gems… “You’ve been a naughty boy, Ronald Reagan… Just like the guy he’s named after.” Perfect. Some amazing cinematography is caught in this moment, highlighting the emotional harmony that hasn’t been present for god knows how long, maybe never. Yeah, this was all absurdly funny, but it’s 'Basket’s signature move to also be absurdly human… Freakishly real to life in the most unconventional of ways.

They return home… As does Christine after a day of shopping and incredible luncheon with Martha… One where Christine and Martha trade compliments and in the most bizarre and captivating manner ever… These two are low-key, lo-fi stars. Christine is greeted with her two sons who have finally found the same page on each other’s book, but at the expense of her home, which is trashed and full of sewage. She looks around, drops her bags, and the credits roll. Holy shit, 'Baskets’ has done it again, pushed the envelope even further. Like I said when I started this incredibly long winded review…. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, but I’m definitely emotionally exhausted. Christine, life has given you some lemons, can you keep making lemonade?

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