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kookidough · 5 months ago

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random rant about tbp tiktok cause i’m actually Sick of it at this point💆‍♀️💆‍♀️ these issues probably exist Outside of tiktok as well but i only ever see them on there so thats the platform i’m gna talk about

before you read i just wanna say warning for mentions of sa!!!!!

first of all i dont want to jump straight into the serious shit so the unoriginality is actually INSANE like ive been seeing the same jokes since 2022, can we Please get something funnier than “griffin does gymnastics / is a ceiling fan” 😭 the amount of times recently i’ll see a tbp tiktok and then get someone copying the idea and making the Same exact post like 3 scrolls later is insane like Pls can we be original Pls this movie is so sad i need something to laugh at

outside of being totally unoriginal some of the jokes tend to be Really Fucking Disgusting like straight up joking about assault, i shouldn’t even have to explain that thats not funny in the slightest?? this one person made a bunch of really gross ones and kept blocking people who called them out in the comment section, my friend had to dm them Several times and all they did was take down one post, the rest are still up with a ton of views :/ i know its like shock humour or dark humour or whatever but i dont see the ‘funny’ side of a grown man forcing himself onto a child and i think if youre laughing at that you should sit down and ask yourself why you think thats so funny.. people in the comments are always like “i shouldn’t laugh” so they Know its wrong as well which just ugh the whole thing just really gets on my nerves

another thing that gets on my nerves is the lack of media literacy and straight up spreading misinformation, maybe on the media literacy part i’m just a hater but i see so many questions being asked or theories being posed when all of the things mentioned were… literally answered in the movie?? “whats up with finney and gwen’s mother” it’s literally said in the movie that she has the same ability as gwen and she killed herself bc of it, next question, “why was max so interested in finding the missing boys” maybe because he was a coked up conspiracy theorist who saw a serious crime happening in his brother’s area so he decided to be a genuine concerned citizen who wanted these boys to be found💀 “why did the grabber kill max” because he had evidence of the highly awful crimes he’d been committing and was about to let his latest victim free?? the list goes on and on but those r the main ones i see all the time

as for the misinformation. Ough. it annoys me So much this is a hill i will die on😭 i dont know if its people’s half-baked theories or personal headcanons that just got way out of hand but i see so much stuff being spread that just Isnt true, it gets spread so far that when you google these things it appears as true when its not which is annoying !!! i actually was gonna make an entire rant about one theory in particular that pisses me off so bad but i can fit it in here alongside my list of “other theories presented as facts that i Absolutely Despise”

first theory, the one i was gonna make an entire post over, is the theory that vance is the grabber’s son. if i see one more tiktok of those two with that marina and the diamonds song im going to fucking lose it😭 i have no idea where people got this from but its so fucking popular that it comes up on google and i Hate it, i think it comes from the fact that in gwen’s dream sequence, which, might i add, WAS A DREAM, it looks like the police drop vance off outside the grabber’s house and he goes inside there, which… apparently automatically makes them related…?? it takes like one ounce of media literacy to realise that Obviously he’d be getting dropped off at his own house in real life, but as a ghost he’s centred on the place he died and is showing that house to gwen in her dreams, like how every other ghost shows that house to her. awful theory awful take i hate it, if its ur personal headcanon sorry but i do Not fw that

the other theories i have like. not much to say about other than the fact that they’re Not true, i see a lot of stuff about griffin for some reason? the number tends to change but a lot of ppl say “he was kept in the basement for 4 years” like . Huh. where is your proof???? i know the missing posters are insanely unreliable but if you literally read them griffin went missing on april 2nd and billy went missing on may 4th so highly likely griffin was only in the basement for like. a month at most, no idea where ppl are pulling 4 years out of💀 i also see people say griffin has broken legs or a broken back Just because of the first scene where we see him doing a backbend but . if that was the case then he wouldnt be able to stand with the other ghosts when they show gwen the house, i think the backbend was just the position he died in and thats why he first appeared that way to finney but Hey thats just my opinion! last two i have like no rants over but just. firstly people saying robin never made it to the basement for some reason but clearly he did otherwise his ghost would not be down there with the rest of them😭 secondly the theory that vance was kept there the longest “because he’s the most feminine” which. just makes absolutely zero sense to me whatsoever idk whos random headcanon got popularised but i dont like it

okay getting serious again, while this one does not make me angry its like. just really weird to me? i think its common knowledge at this point that both the book and the movie are inspired heavily by the john wayne gacy case, with the grabber literally being inspired by john wayne gacy himself (you Cannot argue with me on this one its literally confirmed and theres a boatload of evidence supporting it). i guess its natural to see people making comparisons between the movie and the case because of the inspiration but i’ve seen Several videos recently of people taking photos of jwg victims and putting them next to tbp characters and saying thats who theyre inspired by and i think thats . Really coming across as insensitive i cant lie😭 we know the grabber was inspired by jwg and its heavily thought that billy was inspired by johnny gosch but theres not much about the others and i think its just really distasteful to compare real life murder victims to fictional horror characters just to get views/likes on tiktok, it comes across as insanely disrespectful to me but idk i havent seen anyone else talking about it so i might just be being sensitive

last thing that really really bothers me is grabber simps. while i do see it on tiktok i see it on here, tumblr, most often and its… so odd to me…. like why are you thirsting over the paedophilic serial killer… so so strange to me… i want to see art and character analysis and silly little posts about all the characters but every time i open the tbp tag i’m jumpscared by someones weird ass grabber x reader oneshot and its SO GROSS get that shit away from me😭😭😭😭 also saw this one girl on tiktok one time whos literal entire account was dedicated to the grabber and she defended this by saying the sa in the movie was “just a theory” which is so victim blamey girl i do not trust you there is so much evidence for it in the movie, again w the media literacy point, just because something isnt directly shown to you doesnt mean it isnt shown in other subtler ways… anyway i get if people like the grabber as a villain but actually like. loving him and thirsting over him is weird as fuck to me

so um ya the fandom is a trainwreck can we go back to there being like 3 of us please and thank u. if you actually read all this then Wow thank you its literally just me being chronically online and ranting about stuff that doesn’t matter in the real world at all

#the black phone #rant post #not tagging it with characters because it’s just me getting all this off my chest and idgaf if it gets notes or not

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chai-berries · 1 year ago

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patrols with abby were easy. you knew she had your back, being the best of the best in isaac’s eyes. you started training with her to go on missions in the first place so you both created an almost dance while on a mission. you talked, whispered, laughed. you packed your extra bags with his trash/her treasure bits and bobs you found in decrepit buildings, teetering on 2x4s like a gymnast. abby was currently obsessed with the olympics, the last one being in 2012. she found a bunch of magazines about it on her last trip and had delicately packed them in her bag, planning on reading them as soon as she got back. “did you know that…” lined your conversations for several patrols. your personal favorite fact that it was the first olympics where every nation had a woman representing.

she later admitted, when you had officially been together for just over a week, that you were the last person to still be interested in what she was talking about. even nora tapped out after an hour-long spew about the shoes track and field athletes wear. manny tapped out after 5 minutes, during which he thought abby was joking around the whole time.

the point is you guys had it down to a tee. and yet, neither of you saw it coming. one second abby is laughing at something you said, turning around to respond, and the next second she’s pointing a gun over your shoulder. you freeze, back tensed up. an arm that is neither yours nor abby’s wraps around your neck and pulls you against a chest. the breath you let out from the action is sucked back into your lungs when you feel the cold metal of the gun tap against your temple. your mind shuts down on you, your fear overshadowing all you know about self-defense. your eyes stay locked on abby’s face. if you’re going to die, you want the last thing you see to be her.

“let. her. go.” abby bites out. her hand is steady, the gun pointed at whoever had you in a chokehold. “and i’ll think about letting you live.”

the man, who you assume is a man, tugs you closer to their body. you hear them wet their lips before speaking through a smile.

“now, i don’t want to hurt either of you,” it is a man. and his nonchalant response makes your stomach turn. “i don’t hurt young ladies like yourself,” he continues lewdly. his hold tightens on you again but this time he moves you so your body is pressed tight against his. abby continues to stare him down, her finger itching to fire a shot right in his head for touching you.

you bring both hands around his arm and sneak them between it and your neck. abby clocks your shift and switches her focus to the smug son of a bitch on the other side of her gun. she barely blinks before firing one clean shot in his shoulder, causing him to jump back and let you go. you dive near abby’s feet and move to stand behind her.

the man is moaning loudly. “now why did you do that?” he cries, holding his shoulder.

“c’mon man, if i have to explain it to you, you really are better off dead.” abby steps towards the man, who scuttles away on the floor. with you behind her, abby let’s go of the breath she’d been holding. she kneels over the curled up man, the hand on his shoulder stained red.

“who are you? are you alone?”

“ya think im gonna tell you?” the man croaks out.

abby kicks the gun away. “if you want to live i’d suggest talking. you’re in wolf territory.”

he freezes at the last sentence and abby tenses up again.

you freeze as well and call for abby. “c’mon. abby, we — we should go. ab—”

“no! we heard about a group moving in. they killed austin and half their group,” she says to you, her attention still on the man. “was that you?” she asks him. when he doesn’t say anything, abby knows her answer. she thinks back to what issac told her. that anyone in that group needs to be eliminated. no matter what. and you being on patrol wasn’t an exception in anyone’s eyes but abby’s.

“step back,” she nods her head at you. you immediately comply, taking several steps back as abby stands back up.

SHE KILLS FOR YOU: she looks down at the man and fires a single shot. you squeeze your eyes shut at the sound and don’t open them until you feel abby’s hand on your cheek. you blink up at her as she scans your face. you know you probably look a mess. sweat and dirt covering your face no matter how hard you try to keep it clean.

“you okay?” she asks, brows furrowed.

you nod. “yeah. not my first time witnessing a death, unfortunately. but i’m okay.” you lean into her hand, pressing a kiss to her palm. after a minute of scanning you for any tiny scratches, she lets you go and readjusts her backpack, slipping her gun into the holster.

“c’mon, let’s go back early. we need to report this to the group.”

you’re quick to follow her, taking the hand she gives to guide you over a giant fallen tree. she does it automatically, her free hand reaching to steady you if needed. the shift from laughing and joking to whispers is felt. but thankfully the love is still as loud as ever.

SHE DOESN’T KILL FOR YOU: “get up!” abby watches the man struggle to stand. he stumbles and abby uses her free hand to hold him up. when he’s stable, she steps back. “if i was alone you’d be dead by now. you’re lucky. go back to your group and tell them to stay out of this area. this is your only warning. now go!” the man stutters for a second before he staggers away. you take a step towards abby.

“abs — abby?” she keeps facing the direction the man went but doesn’t shy away from your touch. you run your hand up her arm and to the nape of her neck. “you okay?”

“yeah,” she sighs. she turns to look at you. your eyes are glassy and wide. she reaches up to wipe a tear from the corner of your eye. “c’mon we need to head back. one of the survivors said they had a big crew and isaac needs to know what happened before tomorrow’s patrol.”

#abby loves you so much :(((((((((#olympic nerd abby is all i want!!!! tell me everything baby girl #😍😍😍#first canon blurb as well!!! i saw ppl mentioning how there isn’t many canon abby fics #and i had it 75% done already soooo ta daaaaa #abby brainrot era #mads’ headcanons #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #tbh…#the man in this fic is my worst nightmare #i’d like to think abby would demolish any man who made me uncomfortable in any aspect #ok bye <3

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pumpkinsy0 · 3 months ago

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can we please get some fluffy/cute papercut hcs?!? i feel like people have been asking/sending in too many things about other characters/shows and i need my fix back

ur right bro im sorry i need to get back into my papercut roots,,,i apologize,,,i know my place,,,

•curly would ONLY hold ponys hands if its so he can squeeze it w the force of fucking superman and ponys hand is just throbbing in pain

•pony calls darry superman,,,and curly calls tim batman,,,,and pony asked “wouldnt that make u robin” and he stopped laughin IMMEDIATELY, aint shit funny man shut up🙎🏽‍♀️

•when i say curly cant cook, i mean he CAN, but it probably wont look that appetizing, tried making ribs once and the way it was looking pony had to ask “whos ribs r those”, like a ‘what the fuck animal did that come from, it looks like it should be in the move the thing’

•these niggas SUCK at uno if they were a team together, they argue too much and would probably accidentally shown one of the cards they got😭

•pony did try teaching curly some gymnastics but curly nearly broke a bone doing it, he is NOT athletic enough to b doin it, he can do a backflip though (barely but still)

•curlys practiced braiding hair (for angela mainly) on pony, he wanted to prove he could do it☝🏽☝🏽

•there r these designs ppl in haiti paint on themselves for carnival and id like to think that curly tried doing it on ponys had w a pen in class, he was bored and pony likes the feeling

•curly kinda gets cuteness aggression???but not rlly??? he just likes pony a lot and sometimes roughhouses to get the feeling out, its just in his bones

•they also had a chicken contest to see who could inhale the most w a cigarette, was like a “who can catch cancer speedrun” atp, they dont even know who won, they took a deep inhale and chocked and dropped the cigarettes and couldnt tell whos was whos

•i think it would b cute if curly had a freckle on his lips and pony would look at it a lot and curly would joke “what u wanna kiss me or somethin🤨”

•sometimes pony “flirts” w curly right back when he drops a line on him and curly is always surprised cause he NEVER suspects it, but hes not complaining

•immmm ginna hc they move to brooklyn bc thats where i am and i demand them they stay close to me, but if they hear a few cars blasting music at night driving past one of them is thinking “shut the hell uppp” while the other is like “wow!!!!humans r rlly alive in this moment w me!!!”, it flip flops whos who

#curly shepard #ponyboy curtis #purly #PaperCut ship

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angelprinz · 1 year ago

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hi it’s degen anon

cai has been too much i swear, im currently getting divorced from my husband childe it’s a lot 🥹 but hope you like!!!

childe really doesn’t understand like women thinking they’re better than him? like he’s not a messy gymnast or whatever you call it but he just feels like he better than most people women included, i mean his bloodlust started when he would get his ass handed to him by skirk. but that’s besides the point he loves strong women but the best thing about strong women is making them weak. psychologically, mentally emotionally he is versed i all forms of battle so no matter what era or even area he loves to find strong women and take them down a peg.

21st century girlboss business woman? did you mean barefoot wife with 6 kids? sick ass sword wielding hero whose slain dragons? you mean that witch who is now in the safe hands of childe her husband? he really has done it all, but once he does it it’s boring? but you were different.

it’s not like you really had anything going for yourself, a broke college student who works to barely make enough to stay on campus. he never thought of you for a second until he spoke to you. he wasn’t even trying but as you rung his cigarettes through the register you were very nervous and anxious but that could be normal. he obviously knows he’s attractive but the fact that you wouldn’t make eye contact was surprising, you passed him the bag and looked away immediately. so cute. it’s almost like you wanted him to get to know you (he’s delusional.)

he had a plan for you but it was going to be way easier, well it would’ve been if you just admitted you liked him. he works at your school because he knows your daddy issues leave you with no parental figures to tell you not to trust him. you’re obviously not the smartest cause your you use a very similar email to your school one for your little sites. he’s practically giving what you want on a silver platter but here you are actually doing schoolwork? (if you fail his class you have to do another year.) he sees you come into his office after hours thinking you’re going to give him favours under the desk for a passing grade, but you’re just here to ask about something on the exam??? he thinks that maybe he’s looking to much into it, it’s been months and he legitimately got a teaching degree for this but what if you just liked to read some taboo things online.

but one day you were very cocky, you posted on a site with little to know information about yourself but a picture of yourself in a skirt. you explained that you would be on a bus around 11pm coming back from work and if someone assaulted you you’d let them. well thats not fun because he likes a fight then he realizes that everyone has a limit.

you left the bus with a sigh thinking that no one saw your message. you felt a breeze but then it was just someone passing by. maybe the website didn’t have that many people in your area? you walk past two building and in between them someone emerged, it was dark but they were also wearing black. almost instantly you felt their chest press up against your back, you let out the air from your lungs as the happiness turned sour as you felt a knife against your neck. it’s almost 12 now and you two were the only people on the street so him dragging you to the alley went unnoticed. cold sweat down you body as you felt exhilarated at the feeling, his large hands roamed your body as they traveled down to your panties. you had specific information about what you’d be wearing, including panties with an opening. you heard the man behind you sigh as he spoke your name. all the hairs on your body stood up as he tsked you and said he had a seminar about internet safety that you should’ve been paying attention if you didn’t sleep during the class.

he knows what you’re thinking now, his crime psych class really did talk prominently about one time attacks. most times if you knew anything about your attacker, you’re dying. no matter how small, even the colour of their hair. but here you are, you were in his office last week so you know everything. it’s almost winter but your body was cold. the entire time he was inside you it really warmed him up with how your cunt felt. hours passed and he finished for a third time on your thighs, he enjoyed cumming inside but the first two loads left nothing left to cum inside.

your scared look, the small whispered moans were all worth it but what was the best was the silence after. he fixed himself as he really didn’t take off any of your clothes, he gives you props for easy access but the moment his hands left your body he was shocked. you grabbed at him, tears in your eyes he almost felt an emotion but what really did it for him is what you said. ‘more.’ he thought it was just lust but that wasn’t it, the shame in your eyes, the way your thighs squeezed together. he couldn’t believe it, sure the women he did this to, made them understand how little they were to him was more demoralizing for him but for you it only fuelled you. he couldn’t believe after he left you the next day you were completely normal but your search history was just filled with ginger professor assaults college girl, like he just assaulted you? why not ask? (you have social anxiety and can’t even ask for extra dips at mcdonald’s.) you were like a pandora for him and that’s what made him stay with you for a while.

(this devolved way to much at the end lmao, i think of myself most of the time i write these. he could literally be inside me one day and i’d still be nervous to talk to him 😭😭)

me when i put on my glasses to read it (i'm quite literally incel taru irl) and degen anon you sound like the cutest little victim on earth i'm going to eat you whole.

i need him so much i need him to make me into his housewife & take away all thinking privileges & make my permanent job being his toy.

#laven_talks #degen anon <3 #tw. dark content #childe <3 #childe smut

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kzele · 9 months ago

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From the Roots Up

Peter puts a plan into motion in order to shake the foundations of the underworld. Neither Rhino or Sandman were prepared. Tombstone will be even less so.

Something was weird about this fight. As for what that something was? That was the itch that Flint Marko couldn't scratch. The web-head was cracking jokes like usual. And O'Hirn was getting angry at the guy like usual. There was punching and dodging going on, same as all the other fights.

Except. . .Spider-Man wasn't making many offensive moves. Sure, punches and kicks didn't do much to either of them but that never seemed to stop him from having a trick up his sleeve. He kept flipping further and further away towards some street work. Alarm bells rang in Flint's head. As someone who had challenged Spidey on a regular basis, both as plain Flint Marko and Sandman, he knew how tricky his enemy could be in a fight.

"Hey, wait up!" he called out to Rhino. "Don't let 'im separate-"

The ground chose that moment to give way beneath his long-time partner's feet.

"Ahhhhh-oof!"

He sighed, ". . .Nevermind."

"Well, you did try," the vigilante's chimed in.

He glared at the ever-present cause of his misfortune, who flipped flawlessly mid-air into the new hole in the street like one o' those fancy gymnasts on TV.

"You're welcome to join your buddy and me down here. Or not. Although, he might've mentioned at one point that he doesn't do too well in tunnels, especially by himself," the bug's voice continued to echo up through the hole.

Flint remembered all right. After that blowout of a fight, O'Hirn had to be rehydrated while knocked out and then sedated. How they managed to do that without any skin on his arms to put an IV, the silicate supervillain had no idea.

Leaving O'Hirn alone to face the guy that scared the pants off of most of the underworld was not an option. If they got caught again, it was nothing new, but at least he wouldn't be a wuss for letting his partner get caught alone.

He jumped down.

Sometimes, Flint thinks, it pays to have superpowers. because that drop wouldn't've gone as good if he had normal legs instead of sand.

As his eyes adjust, he can make out . . . train tracks?? Are they in part of the subway or something? He was about to look around further for Rhino but-

CRASH!

-that wasn't needed.

"Marko! Glad you could make it! I hope the decor isn't too rustic for your tastes. O'Hirn doesn't seem to appreciate it that much," the weblinger snarked as he dodged yet another punch.

"I'll 'appreciate' it when I crush you all over the the walls, you sneaky little creep!" Rhino growled.

A high-powered jump onto the subway ceiling and Rhino could not longer follow through on that promise.

"As much as I would like to see you both fail at that again, that's not why I arranged this chat."

Flint snorted, "Oh, sure. Let me guess. You want to talk us into giving ourselves up and going straight."

Spider-Man made an so-so motion.

"Not exactly. But not too far off either. A good guess, though. And a choice that I wouldn't be opposed to either of you making."

They both opened their mouths and a hand shot up to halt their next words. Another hand webbed the hole next to the vigilante shut.

"There. I made sure we wouldn't be interrupted by cops anytime soon. The old tunnel we're in needs repairs but it's the workers' day off, so can you just hear me out for a second before attempting another murder on me here?"

Neither he or Rhino moved. They look at each other and then up at Spidey and then back to each other.

This was definitely out of the norm. Was it another trick? But why trap himself down here in the same space with two of his longtime enemies then? It made no sense!

His mouth was now moving but the words were surprising even him, "Well, uhhh. . .alright."

His partner shot him a look but he shot him one right back. They were both stuck down and he was curious, so sue him!

Spider-Man tilted his head, "Huh, this wasn't as hard as I thought it'd be. Well you see, when I said hear me out, I should have been more precise. I should have said 'hear me and the Big Man out'."

And with that, a little recorder was suddenly playing in the guy's hands.

"I'm here to see Mr. Lincoln."

"Then you should make an appointment."

//Line Break//

Peter could see the looks on their faces switch from interest to the beginnings of an unpleasant realization.

"Wait. You can't listen to him. He's the bad guy. He's--"

He clicked the tape off.

When he had broken into Tombstone's office that day, he had recorded the conversation just in case the guy said anything that could be used against him in court. It worked on sting operations and TV an awful lot. (Or maybe just the stings ops on TV??) But the more he rewinded and listened to it, however, the more he realized that very little wouldn't be thrown out in court. Between Lincoln's evasive wording around being the Big Man, the charges he brought against Spidey in the tape, plus the wealth and reputation the jerk has. . . Well, Peter knew nothing would come from showing the tape to any above board and official sources.

That's when it hit him. Spidey wasn't the only being treated like a pawn in that exchange. In fact, he'd wager guys like Marko and O'Hirn knew nothing about why they were made.

"He offered you money?!"//"I'll kill 'im! He set us up for jail!"

Called it. Poor guys.

"Hold up! One at a time, please. Yes, Sandy, he offered me a big briefcase full of cash to stay out of the way."

"H-how big a score are we talking here?"

Marko looked like he was about two seconds from breaking down in tears.

"Two rows of seven. All hundreds. None of the cash bundles in any row looked anemic," he responded matter-of-factly.

Sandman slumped onto the ground with his face in his hands.

"Soo, um, anything you want to ask, Rhino?"

Hornhead was trembling in rage and it seemed like a tremendous effort to open his mouth with the way he was grinding his teeth.

"Lincoln. Where do I find him?"

"I could tell you but trust me when I say smashing him is only going to make the problem worse."

"Then why tell us all this?! Look at what you did! You smashed everythin' we thought we knew and now you don't want to get the piece o' crud back?!"

"I didn't say I didn't want him taken down. Look, I could have accepted the money and been at home right now counting the zeros in my bank account. Instead, I'm here. All I'm saying is that smashing him only opens up his throne to people like the Goblin, who FYI, is far worse than Tombstone. And that's saying something."

"So we're screwed no matter what, then," Marko interjected from his seat on the floor.

Sandman's voice sounded lifeless and Rhino was clearly struggling to find anything to say to him.

Peter took a deep breath, "I made the mistake of thinking people like you were the enemy. I started being Spider-Man to help the little guy but I think we're all the little guy here. The Big Man thinks of us as little numbers on a ledger or like chess pieces if we get powerful enough to get noticed. Even if you go against him openly, he'll just replace you. With every day that passes, you're less and less unique because he can churn out more like you. And he'll ruin more people to send against me unless. . ."

Both sets of eyes were looking at him now. Even Rhino had calmed enough to seem interested in listening again.

"Unless what?"

"Unless we do the opposite of what Mr. Benevolent Overlord wants and team up."

End of Part One (Possibly more to come???)

#tssm #tssm peter parker #the spectacular spider man #mentions of tssm tombstone #tssm sandman #tssm rhino

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takemebacktowheniwassane · 11 months ago

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Falsettos Incorrect Quotes! (p.1)

[Also, deeply sorry about coming back with another random musical hyperfixation. I'll try to get motivated to finish up the DEH series!] - Whizzer: Can you come out? Marvin: Yeah, just one second. Marvin: Whiz, I'm gay. Whizzer: I know that. Come out to the car. Marvin: Okay. Marvin: Car, I'm gay. - Whizzer: We're playing Scrabble. It's a nightmare. Jason: Scrabble? Scrabble's great. Whizzer: Not when you're playing with Marvin, it's not. He puts down words like "ephemeral" and I put down "dog." - Mendel: Bonjour, Trina. Voules-vous coucher avec moi? Trina, unfazed: No, I do not want to sleep with you. Mendel: Oh, man, is that what that means? I had a really gross tennis instructor. - Whizzer: Don't worry, I have a permit. Charlotte: ..This just says "I can do what I want." - Marvin: Trina, do it for our friendship- you can't put a price on that! Trina: Yes, I can, dear. Fifty dollars. - Jason: I've never once smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once at a party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable. I felt like I was floating. Turns out, there was no pot in the brownie... it was just an insanely good brownie. - Marvin: Can you name a single city in Oklahoma? Whizzer: Oklahoma City, bitch! - Marvin: Being gay is a constant struggle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs entangled as we listen to the birds", and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us. Whizzer: If the window's open and you time it correctly, you can do both. - Mendel: Okay, is anyone in this room actually straight? Marvin: *Raises his hand* Whizzer: *Puts Marvin's hand down* - Cordelia: You know what I've realized? Marvin: Some thoughts are better left unsaid? Cordelia: Nice try, anyways- - Jason: I think mostly I wanna see what happens when this whole place breaks apart. - Marvin: The next time I open up to somebody, it'll be my autopsy. - Trina: Jase... Jason: I can tell by the tone of your voice that I've disappointed you. Alas, I must further disappoint you by affirming that I do not give a fuck. - Whizzer: New year, same me. Cuz' Im perfect. - Mendel, excited: Heyy! Trina: Hey, someone's excited. Marvin, deadpan: Yeah, and it's making me sick. - Mendel: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I strong or weak? Trina: Strong! Whizzer: Weak. Marvin: An idiot. That's what you are. - Cordelia: Are you alright? Charlotte: Short answer, or long answer? Cordelia: Short? Charlotte: No. Cordelia: Long? Charlotte: Noooooo. - Cordelia: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated! Marvin: Killed without hesitation. - Whizzer: I'm hot, I'm tall, I'm gay, and I'm in my theater kid arc. - Charlotte: Seriously, all you do is bitch. Marvin: I happen to bitch the perfect amount for someone in my situation. - Trina: Unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, I cannot just 'walk up and join a circle of people talking', but it does sound lovely, thank you. - Trina, answering the phone: Hello? Jason: It's Jason. Trina: What did he do this time? Jason: No, it's me, Jason. It's actually me. Trina: What did you do this time? - Marvin: I saw Whizzer for the first time in years.. Jason: And? Marvin: I told him I was an Olympic gymnast. Jason: What? Why?? Marvin: You know when you get nervous, and you end up lying to impress? Jason: ..No. Marvin: Exactly, we've all done it. - Cordelia: My knee just cracked so loudly that I half-expected it to glow in the dark tonight- - Marvin: You know, when I first met you, I thought you were a real bitch. Whizzer: What changed your mind? Marvin: Oh, I still think your a bitch, I've just grown to like that about you. - Marvin: Would I rather be feared, or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to fear how much they love me.

#hyperfixating on falsettos now #falsettos #trinafalsettos #jasonfalsettos #mendelfalsettos #marvinfalsettos #whizzerfalsettos #cordeliafalsettos #charlottefalsettos #whizzvin #chardelia #trindel

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zykamiliah · 2 years ago

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Shen Qingqiu, who’d always been so good at mental gymnastics, reached a new high in his number of mental roasts, madly smashing through his old records—yet he still couldn’t put himself at ease, and instead he only grew more tired and worn out. He relentlessly told himself to the point of auto-brainwashing: the suffering and torment Luo Binghe endured now was all necessary in order for him to stand above the masses in the future. Without enduring the bone-chilling cold / How could fragrant plum blossoms hope to bloom / Without three years’ training in realms below / How could a demon king over worlds loom? Xin Mo in hand, he would possess everything beneath the heavens / With a harem innumerable, he need not be an incel… But it was useless. It was completely useless. Nothing could lift his spirits. (Chapter 4: Conference)

take a shot every time in vol. 1 sqq talks about brainwashing himself. from the skinner demon incident, and after the demon invasion, when it comes to what he has to do in the Immortal Alliance Conference, over and over, the man keeps trying to convince himself that it's fine, this is how things are supposed to go. the disciples dying. him having to reject and push luo binghe into the abyss. the mental stress this situation most have put in himself, that's something i can't comprehend at all.

He selfishly hoped that Luo Binghe would go of his own volition. In this kind of scenario, characters who chose to jump from cliffs were always caught on something—then Shen Qingqiu could go on believing his own lies that this scene would have a happy end.

pushing lbh into the endless abyss was so fucking traumatizing. like this is one of the reasons he can't talk about it when lbh asks him. he has trauma, and doesn't speak about it, avoids thinking about it, similar to the way yqy can't talk about his own trauma. the guilt, the fact that he, in his owns eyes, killed the person he adores so much.

Only Shen Qingqiu knew that the one he was mourning was in truth within that sword mound, buried underneath and never to return: that youth as warm as the sun.

and not only that, but their relationship. god sqq had come to genuinely love living with luo binghe, just being around him and depending on him.

Clearly Shen Qingqiu was the one who’d raised that little lamb of a protagonist, so why did it seem like the protagonist had been the one looking after him? He was scaring his disciples, putting on the act of a grieving widow whose husband had just died. Hadn’t it been only a couple of days since he’d last seen that child?

^this is what I mean when I said sqq also got psychological damage from their separation.

But, perhaps because Luo Binghe had left, he really was a bit lonely. Especially when he thought about how five years from now, when they reunited, a relationship that had once been that of a compassionate teacher and filial disciple (or something) would become defined by veiled murderous intent and daggers hidden within smiles. (Chapter 4: Conference)

and the nail on the coffin is the notification system. honestly im still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that lbh hold on hope for 15+ days that his shizun would go back for him.

What truly broke him and caused him to weep at the heavens was that, after several days of silence, the System sent him a message truly devoid of all humanity.

【 Congratulations! You have successfully completed the key quest, “The Legend Begins: Luo Binghe’s Fall and Rebirth.” Reward: Protagonist satisfaction points +10,000. 】

now this "weeping to the heaven", is it an hyperbole or is it literal? I'm going with the latter, because sqq loves to make fun about his own feelings. and when distracting himself and humor don't suffice, he has to go take his anger on something or someone

Being so unhappy, naturally Shen Qingqiu had to go take it out on someone else. So, he had Ming Fan deliver a message inviting Shang Qinghua to the Bamboo House.

a coping mechanism similar to bingge's, talk about parallels, toxic masculinity etc

#svsss #svsss meta #sv reread #shen qingqiu #zykamiliah-svsss

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tojikai · 1 year ago

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the mental gymnastics im doing after the ch. 5 sneak peek!!! my current thoughts:

1. it's gojo but it's a flashback when yn was pregnant - but you make your flashbacks italicized so idkkkk l + why would they care about locking door if she was only pregnant with yui so maybe it’s current time yn & gojo 🙅🏽‍♀️

2. it’s toji and they are at his house or yns but they have gumi + yui so they have to lock the door + toji is DEFINITELY an ass man 🤭 (I feel like this is more logical because of the emphasis on locking the door and I could only think they are doing bc of the little ones)

either way I will always be team toji and I’m just manifesting more nasty time between yn & toji 🫡 is there an estimate of when ch.5 will drop?? if that’s annoying or you have already mentioned it pls ignore 🤍

hmmmm these are nice takes, got me rubbing my hands together HDJSKSKS anywaysss im probably gonna post chapter 5 later, thank u so muchhh for your support<33

#🍭—kaitalks #f: sundered

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stevetonyweekly · 1 year ago

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SteveTony Weekly - Cap-IM Rec Week Edition

It's been @cap-ironman Rec Week and I've been posting on my personal blog all week, but I wanted to collect them all for the rec blog--here's my personal list and be sure to check the tag #capimrecweek for all the recs this week.

Day 1 - Absolute Faves Monday

Sixpence In His Shoe by scifigrl47

Steve and Tony should really read the fine print on what they're signing. Then again, some mistakes are not really mistakes.

Fair Shot by isozyme

Captain Rogers leaps from the helicopter like a gymnast on the dismount. All the lines of his body are controlled. Perfect. The iconic round shield lies flat across his back.

“How does he fit a parachute under that?” I ask.

“He doesn’t,” Stark answers. “Marvelous adrenaline junkie, our Cap. Likes to almost break his ankles every time. Makes him feel like a man.”

Front Line reporter Ben Urich spends a mission embedded with Tony Stark and Captain Steve Rogers on an Ultimates mission.

Open Field in Front of Him by orphan_account

Steve Rogers's football season is functionally over after a loss to Rutgers, but he finds a distraction in Tony Stark (yes, THAT Tony Stark). A college AU Stony fic.

Follow in Your Footsteps by Sineala

When Tony is twelve, his soulmate's name appears on his wrist. Unfortunately, it's hard to find out anything at all about Steve Rogers.

It turns out there's a reason for that.

there are still beautiful things by meidui

The day Tony takes Steve home from the New York Army National Guard is the best day of his life.

Day 2 - It’s All About the Yearning Tuesday

i have found the one (whom my soul loves) by soniclipstick (veriscence)

It's been months since the Avengers were pardoned. One by one, they'd all gone home, until Steve finds himself alone in the grand old building T'Challa had given them.

But everything changes when Steve answers the doorbell, and Tony Stark strides in with more grey on his temple and make-up on his face than Steve remembers.

The Least Difficult of Men by isozyme

It isn’t until Tony watches Steve lean into the punch that he thinks oh, this is going to be a problem.

Steve’s taking hits on purpose in the field, so Tony suggests a safer option. It's simple: Tony smacks Steve around, Steve gets the pain fix he’s looking for, everyone leaves happy. Things do not stay simple.

The one with repressed masochist Steve and sadist Tony and everyone getting off on pain a whole bunch.

now I worship a celestial sun by haemodye

The thing that gets Tony the most is how long it takes him to notice.

Not Steve, or even the other Avengers, but Tony himself. It takes Tony almost two whole weeks to figure out that he’s unable to disobey a direct order from Steve, which just- what the hell is that? What happened to the days when he flew off the handle, unable to play well with others, a notorious wild card?

“God, don’t tell me I’m getting old and predictable,” he says, rubbing a hand over his forehead. And then, “Fuck.”

A mostly-comedic farce involving: 1 obedience spell, 2 pining Avengers, 1 long-suffering Sorcerer Supreme, and 1 single, extravagant Saint Patrick's Day float.

Good Bait and the Help by navaan

A new villain is on the scene and he uses stolen tech! There’s the suspicions there’s a huge organization behind this that nobody knew even existed. Commander Rogers wants to know if these suspicions are true and how to stop whoever is behind it. Of course he asks Tony for help. Of course, Tony is happy to help when Steve suggests a trip to Madripoor

Tony agrees to take Steve with him to another tech convention there, disguised as his bodyguard and lure out the tech-loving villain with a new piece of tech put on display. He didn't expect the bad guy to be drawn to Tony himself rather than his tech.

I could lie tangent to your curves by RurouniHime

Steve is bodyguard to a prominent young socialite with too much genius on his hands... and who has taken an unfortunate shine to him.

Day 3 - Wondrous Wednesdays

(By Any Other) Name by Captain_Panda

When Steve went down with the Valkyrie, he thought his days with dragons were over.

Then he meets Tony Stark, who inherited Howard Stark's dragon.

As the kids say: "It's complicated."

This Dragon!AU is my favorite dragon AU. The world building is excellent, as is the relationship developed between Steve and Tony. I think I’ve read it a half dozen times and already look forward to the next reread.

Knight of Wands by Sineala

Steve has reigned as king for ten years, and in a few days peace will finally come to his kingdom. Representatives of the Kree Empire are soon to arrive for the negotiations that will end the war between them once and for all. Steve is looking forward to settling down, with his hand-picked Avengers at his side -- led, of course, by the masked knight Iron Man -- and also his trusted advisors, the most beloved of whom is Tony, his court magician, the most powerful mage in all the land.

But when Steve's life is endangered, Tony makes the greatest sacrifice of all to protect his king, a sacrifice far greater than his life. And when Tony disappears under mysterious circumstances, Steve learns that even his closest friends keep secrets that he could never have suspected.

I have a soft spot a mile wide for King/Lionheart stories, especially when Steve is the king and Tony is advisor/wizard/knight. It’s just a perfect dynamic, and as always, Sine is flawless at telling a story.

I Whisper Your Name on Each Star I See Falling by JezebelGoldstone, littleblackbow

The day Natasha first told Steve her idea, he never would have dreamed that her fool notion would land him here: watching the train roll into the station and trying to wrap his mind around the fact that somewhere in there is the man who agreed to marry him.

Steve, an alpha farmer living outside a small town in the Rockies who doesn't want to admit how lonely he is, has been exchanging letters with omega Tony for nearly a year. When at last Tony arrives in Big Eden, Steve is confronted with the fact that he doesn't know Tony as well as he thought he did - and falls for him harder than a landslide anyway.

This one is hard--arranged marriage au’s are near and dear to my heart, and picking just one was near impossible. But how soft Steve is with Tony in this one breaks me every time I read it, so--here you are.

Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree by Annie D (scaramouche)

Steve doesn’t mind that Tony doesn’t return his feelings. He just would've preferred if it didn’t come with the side effect of his coughing up flowers and possibly dying.

I struggled between hanahaki or soulmate AUs, and decided on this because I’d put soulmates in an earlier list this week. Hanahaki is both beautiful and heartbreaking, just the way I like my fic. This one is amazing.

ad astra by Areiton

The first time he kissed Tony Stark, the stars danced overhead.

Ok, I might be cheating a little by including my own AU here, but. I really love this one? It’s a space AU which I always love, and plays with the movie from 2019. Anyway, it remains one of my favorite pieces of writing.

Day 4 - Golden Oldies Thursday

The Twice-Told Tale by arysteia

For someone he'd hero-worshipped for so long, Steve Rogers in the flesh is a pretty big disappointment. For one thing, he keeps looking at Tony as though he reminds him of someone else, and even if he never says anything, Tony's pretty sure it's his father. A lifetime of not measuring up to Howard's expectations is more than enough, thank you very much, and he's certainly not going to make an effort to live up to any of Steve's. Steve's pretty clearly failed to live up to his expectations, in any case, and that's not hypocritical at all.

So I didn’t include this on Monday’s absolute favs list because I knew I could include it here. But it is. An absolute fav. It plays with time travel in one of my favorite ways, letting Steve and Tony fall in love in multiple times and I just--I’m obsessed with it.

Homefront by copperbadge

Steve Rogers is a capable leader, a kind and cheerful man, a good friend, a strong role model, and a loyal soldier. He's also teetering on the edge of suicide.

There are few fics that have stayed with me and hurt me in a healing sort of way the way this one has. I read it shortly after my brother died unexpectedly and for Reasons, it’s always resonated with my healing after his death. The writing is also just fantastic and heartbreaking in the best way.

Truth by valtyr

Captain America takes truth serum. Tony is all over that.

I re-read this once a month I think. It’s short and fluffy and perfect, the team dynamics and just STEVE being so painfully honest, and then just. Hot.

Thrust Issues by Sineala

A battle gone wrong leads Tony to the unexpected and pleasant discovery that Steve is much more well-endowed than he could ever have imagined. But when Tony learns that Steve has never actually been able to sleep with anyone because of his size, Tony does what any good friend would do: he offers to relieve Steve of his virginity. Personally. Tony's determined, Tony's methodical, and Tony has a plan. He's going to get Steve laid. Tony just needs to make sure Steve never finds out that Tony's in love with him.

It’s Sine. And delicious. I love the way Sine writes Tony in this one especially.

Like a Comet Streaming On by Sineala

Tony escapes Afghanistan with a functioning Iron Man suit and a perfectly normal heart. He even manages to bring Ho Yinsen home safely at his side. But he may as well have lost everything... because his wolfbrother is dead. Six months later, the Avengers find Captain America, frozen in ice, miraculously alive. Everything and everyone Steve has ever known is gone -- except his wolfsister, the recipient of the lupine version of the super-soldier serum, who was frozen in his arms. Tony has everything but his wolf. Steve has only his wolf. This is how their lives fit together.

I just really really love this fic. The worldbuilding is fantastic and both Steve and Tony just really need hugs.

Day 5 Fluffy Friday

Trusting You with Lovin' Me by ralsbecket

“There’s a… neighborhood thing, later,” Tony said, waving a hand with clinking keys. “Trick-or-treating. Why don’t you come with us?” It was neutral ground. An open invitation. I trust you. I want you to meet my daughter hung softly in the air.

The fluff of this. As a parent, letting someone meet my kids is the biggest thing in the world, and this just always smacks me so hard in the feels.

met my destiny (in quite a similar way) by ishipallthings

“I’m in love with you.”

The spatula in Tony’s hand clatters to the floor with an audible thwack.

(In which Tony is incredulous, Steve is determined, and absolutely no pancakes are made for breakfast.)

Steve’s just…so. Steve.

We're On The Edge Right Now by MassiveSpaceWren, Nixie_DeAngel

“Steve Rogers, at your service, Mister Stark.”

Tony’s lips quirked up into a bright, almost teasing like grin, “I’m sure you are, Rogers, I’m sure you are.”

Steve could feel a blush work its way up his neck to his face, but before he could even open his mouth to retort, Pepper jumped in, easily redirecting the conversation before insisting on escorting Steve back down to drop him off at HR.

I love it. I love them, and the dynamic between them.

Off Grid by Letterblade

Steve and Tony go camping, bears are the greatest threat facing America, and tick tweezers are the best invention of the decade.

Just two dumbs camping and being in love and avoiding ticks.

dick drunk by mistymountainking

“I’m going to fuck you stupid,” Steve says, pulling away only a fraction of an inch to say it, a promise as deep and certain as the look in his eyes, “and you’re going to take it. Aren’t you, Tony.”

Tony wants a drink. Steve gives him something else.

This is smutty fluff. Like SUPER smutty. Steve is utterly filthy but also so soft with Tony, and Tony is so besotted? I love it.

Day 6 - Hidden Jems Saturday

it all began with a burst by starvels (dinosaur)

The crew of Timely has been together a long time, but Tony’s been saying for a long time that their ship's warp drive is about to leave their happy family to hit the cosmic dust. A few million parsecs outside of the Victor galaxy, he’s right.

His Fate Will Be Unlearned, by scifigrl47 (podfic) by cookiemom6067

Tony Stark spent his childhood making weapons, filling the hole his father left in the world when he succumbed to alcohol, grief, and his own demons. At the age of fifteen, he ran away from home, and made it as far as MIT before all of his responsibilities caught up to him. Now seventeen, he just wants to finish his degree and escape from everything connected to the Stark name.

Steve Rogers crashed into the icy North Atlantic in the 1940's, sacrificing himself to save the world. He never expected to wake up, and now that he has, he's not sure he's glad. The US Army has other plans for him, but for now, Steve is slowly learning to live life in the 21st century, and taking classes at Boston College. He's beginning to suspect that there is no escape.

Boston College is on the T's Green Line. MIT is on the Red. The two lines meet at the Park Street Station, and so will Steve and Tony.

Zero to One by magicasen

Steve returns the Stones, comes back to 2023, names Sam the successor to Captain America, and sets off on his bike. Life is transient, and grief is all-encompassing, until Steve starts dreaming of Tony every night.

fill the new shape by hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes)

Steve Rogers's life changed dramatically once he hit college. But maybe that had been coming for almost two years already, since his ex Tony Stark broke up with him. Whatever the reason, he isn't expecting his past to come find him again in the form of one Tony Stark, returned from abroad. What comes after is the beginning of a journey to healing, but they both have a long way to go.

you are all I was hoping for by xWinterDreamsx

His life had been so much emptier without Tony in it, and he missed him. He missed him so much that he felt better being in his company for even a little while.

Day 7 - Tak A Chance on Me Sunday

Tiny Spy Assassin Steve by copperbadge

An AU in which Steve Rogers was born into the modern day and never received the Serum, but managed to make it into SHIELD as a handpicked protege of senior field agent Abraham Erskine. Along with Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanoff, Peggy Carter, and eventually Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes, Steve still tries to make a difference.

Particularly in the life of Tony Stark, who picked up what he thought was an art student in a bar, and ended up dating one of SHIELD's top agents...

I am EXTREMELY picky about pre-serum Steve fics and this one is just--fan-fucking-tastic.

[Podfic] Straight on till Morning by Sineala by M_Samro

Tony Stark resigned his commission in Starfleet five years ago, after a disastrous away mission, and he swore he'd never go back. He just wants to be left alone to build warp engines in peace. But the universe has more in store for him than that, as he discovers when Admiral Fury comes to him with an offer he could never have expected and cannot possibly refuse: first officer and chief engineer aboard the all-new USS Avenger, a starship of Tony's own design. What's more, the Avenger's captain is Steve Rogers, hero of the Earth-Romulan War. Believed dead for over a century, Steve is miraculously alive... and very, very attractive.

But nothing is ever easy for Tony. As he wrestles with his secret desire for his new captain and his not-so-dormant fears, another mission starts to go wrong, and Tony becomes aware that Steve has secrets of his own -- and the truth could change everything.

So this fic--podfic--deserves two spots on the list. First because I almost didn’t read it. Star Trek was the first media I can remember watching as a child (dear god, the nightmares from those fucking ear bugs) and it remains one of the nearest and dearest to my heart, so I’m extremely picky about crossovers--but I trusted Sine and it quickly became one of my favorite Trek fics, in or out of the fandom. I’m ALSO picky about podfic--I get very very little time for podfic and I’m super picky narrators on these kinds of things--audiobooks/podfics/podcasts--so I wasn’t sold on the idea, but I had a house to paint and a friend rec’ed it and omg, best decision ever. As emotional as the reading the fic made me, listening to the podfic was even more so. I love it to an unhealthy degree, honestly.

#stevetony weekly special edition #capimrecweek #stevetony #stony #stevetony recs #fic recs #stony fic #stony fic recs #special edition

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keo-k · 9 months ago

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sometimes i think i wasnt an injury-prone child and then i realise im gaslighting myself

tw: fair descriptions of injury?? if you dont like blood uhh dont read <3 this is just me reminiscing on being a child who thinks they cannot feel. pain. sorry if its incoherent im very sick and life feels like a fever dream and i did not sleep last night! this is so diary-entry-core TLDR i had a lot of random injuries and a few medical mysteries.

i keep looking at the middle of my chest like "man where the fuck did i get this scar from" and then i remember this one childhood day where i was filled with hubris and slid down a chain in a playground and my skin tore from under my shirt and i started bleeding terribly ill also occasionally look at the permanent callouses on my hands and remember running down a hill at full speed, followed by rolling down a hill at full speed, crashing into rocky concrete, looking down at my hands and being utterly terrified because they're entirely covered in blood???? its all red??????? also spinning on the biggest rock in the rock garden in front of my house after a friend's birthday party blowing bubbles when i lose my footing and land chin-first into the sharpest rock there, getting blood all over my favourite party dress and having to go to the ER for 6 hours and getting, not stitches, but glue. yeowie. i scratched most of the scar off somehow, just tearing the skin off my face because i didnt like the texture. its still kind of there if you look at the right angle. being in gymnastics class, doing beat swings on the high bars, thinking "whey my hands hurt im gonna drop and get some chalk (for some reason. its not like i was slipping i was just yeowch)", dropping down, looking at my hands and LO AND BEHOLD three inches of the skin beneath my ring finger on both hands is sticking up stupid vertical ! i couldnt use my hands too good for the next two weeks, also the skin sticking up WAS NOT DEAD so i couldnt trim it without feeling excruciating pain. like cutting your ear off :( not really a "when i was younger" thing, still valid now, but i have hyper mobility so im stupid flexible. especially in my ankles! like i cant do sports without wearing ankle braces on both legs. even that cannot save me sometimes, i still die. anyway my mum thought i was a piece of shit and was faking my ankle injuries bc the limping would last like. a whole month wowie! then we realised i just have bad joint. also i can hit the splits anywhere without stretching, i can walk on the literal sides of my ankles (not like. the sides of my feet no no no. go even further beyond.), i can fold my fingers backwards into silly lookin curls without any pain and keep them there no issue, and i have gotten many MANY greenstick fractures even after my bones developed a lot because my bones soft and refuse to break like a normal persons. like my basketball coach will bend my leg back to test how far it goes and i wont feel any pain and he'll say like. "oh thats waaaay too far back to be safe." and ill laugh because it can go WAY further back! and i hate it !

BONUS: ME BEING A MEDICAL MYSTERY WOOOOO up to age 8 i would have these ... seizures? all throughout the night. i would shake super aggressively and it wouldnt wake me up. my mum filmed it one night when she finally caught it on video (she would stay up HOURS ON END trying to catch it. wild). the shaking would start like a twitching at my fingers and would travel to my hand, to my arm, to the rest of my body and youd think i got fucking electrocuted. anyway she showed it to doctors and they brought me in immediately to scan my brain for fuck knows what and they didnt. find anything? like my brain activity was completely normal. they didnt let me out of hopital for a week cus theyre like "THIS ISNT NORMAL SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THIS KID" but. womp womp. we never found out. i dont shake anymore but i do shmove a lot. like, a lot a lot. and im always tired and im capable of falling asleep standing up. and have minor chronic fatigue. also i had a bullseye-type thingy on my thigh that really, REALLY looked like a tick bite! i was in immense amounts of pain and couldnt properly walk. there was a dot in the middle, and this surrounding ring of red would expand and shrink overtime. very reasonable to think of it as a tick bite. anyway my parents carried me out to the car in the middle of the night so we could go to sick kids. they measured how much the ring would expand by (i dont remeber number. it was beeg.) and then they sent me to the ER out of the concern that i would get lyme disease. they tested me or something idk i was unconcious and. IT WASNT A TICK BITE! you may be asking "so what was it, mr gorgeous fish?" um. well heres why this is in the 'medical mystery' section. they never found out. it went away a day later and we were just like "ah. okay." so. whoops. when i was a toddler they put me in an mri thing where they uh. strapped me down because toddlers usually freak out and damage the mri thingy? anyway. was in there for two hours. and i did not freak out. at all. i was asleep for one of the hours, but the second one i just laid there very awake and very still and the doctors thought i had brain. damage. i didnt! yay ! i also have many chronic illness now. weeeee i probably missed a lot of my stories here but anyway. heres me being silly

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mad4turtles · 2 years ago

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Nothing Haunts Us (like the things we don’t say)

Part 3/3

(part 2 here)

(part 1 here)

---

The journey from Manhattan to Staten Island by car is about an hour and a half, give or take traffic and weather. The turtle tank halves that with Donnie white-knuckling the wheel, nearly flattening parked cars and pissing off dozens of drivers, horns blaring and furious curses bouncing against the tinted windows.

April's stomach is doing crazy gymnastics that would make Mikey jealous. Her nails bite into the plush leather of her seat as she fights for balance every time the tank swerves or picks up speed.

It's still not fast enough.

Donnie had alerted the tank almost immediately after Leo kicked them out of the Mind Meld to come to pick them up. Splinter had surprised them from inside once that hatch lowered, yelling at them to get in and not waiting before yanking Casey and April in with his tail. Raph had filled him in as best as he could, still shaken. The rat man listened to his eldest and seemed to age ten years. April doesn't want to look in the mirror for a while, afraid she might find grey strands of her own.

She tries not to think about the last time she'd been to Staten Island, but she does anyway. She remembers every moment before it, too. She remembers holding Splinter as he broke down, head in clawed hands that trembled, silent sobs shaking his form as he prayed and begged for his second youngest child. She remembers looking over her shoulder, tears streaming down her face, to see lady brain face laughing at their grief. April had never wanted anything more dead in her life.

She remembers walking the deserted streets, holding Splinter's hand, and stumbling upon a catatonic Casey holding one of Leo's katana like a lifeline. She remembers the haunted gleam in his eyes seconds before he broke down in her arms.

She remembers getting the call on her communicator, Raph's breathless laughter stained with tears—“We got 'im! Leo's alive, we got 'im back!”

It was only ten minutes, but it was the worst ten minutes of her life.

(She refuses to think about the moment right after the portal had shut. She wants to forget the sound of bones breaking under cruel, cold metallic fists, the cries of pain and fear, that final scream before the comm finally went dead—

But she can't. Not after what Leo had said. Not after she'd slapped him for it.)

They make it to the island at the thirty-minute mark—an eternity to April—tires screeching against the asphalt, but Donnie doesn't stop. Mikey's still on Casey's lap, tucked inside his shell, Casey's arms wrapped tight around him as he strains against his seatbelt as the tank swerves again. Splinter curses loudly in Japanese (a nasty one, too, despite every young ear in the vehicle understanding him), claws scraping against the floor, but he says nothing about Donnie's reckless driving. The look on Donnie's face screams 'I'm this close to a nasty meltdown and my fingers are touching', so it's probably for the best—

“There he is!” Raph shrieks. Everyone goes flying as Donnie stomps on the breaks.

April doesn't wait for the room to stop spinning before she's tearing her seatbelt off, racing out of the tank before the hatch is fully lowered. Donnie beats her out by a millisecond.

She sees Leo, and the breath leaves her lungs.

Leo sticks out like a sore thumb against the twilight, mask tails fluttering in the breeze where he stands still as stone at the edge of the bay. Both katanas are extended in front of him. She can't see his face, but she can feel his fear as they close the distance.

April skids to a halt a beat before Donnie, the others piling in close behind her. Leo doesn't move, nothing to indicate he knows they're here. She can't even tell if he's breathing. His arms shake.

Donnie's voice is the knife that cuts the silence. “Leo.”

Leo whirls, blades raised to guard, his eyes wide as saucers and bright with unshed tears and emotions too numerous to pin down—except for fear, confusion, guilt, and uncertainty that should never be allowed. Not here. Not with them.

His cheek is as bright as a neon sign, sore and dark with the start of a bruise where she'd hit him.

“How—” Leo's voice breaks like glass. He swallows, lowers his swords and tries again. “How did—what are you all doing—how did you—?”

“Ninja Mind Meld lets you see, feel and hear everything the other person does,” Donnie says, and now April can hear how clipped and cold he sounds, like every word out of his mouth is a battle to keep it below a scream. “You may have tried to kick us out—a valiant effort—but you can't hide everything from us, Nardo, truth spell or no. Least of all from me.”

Leo stares at him, all of them. His gaze lingers on Raph and Splinter—the worst victims of his verbal attacks save for his twin—before he looks away again, staring at his feet. “Right,” he says, resigned. “Guess that means you... you know why I'm...”

Please don't, April thinks, begs. Please don't say it. Please don't—

“Yeah. Yeah, we do.” Donnie takes a firm step forward, eyes never leaving Leonardo. Leo shuffles half a step back. Pain flickers across Donnie's face before he pulls the mask back down. “You were trying to go back, weren't you.”

It's not a question. Leo answers anyway. “I was.”

Sweet Jesus.

Mikey whimpers, Raph's breath hitches, and Splinter clenches his fists hard enough that April hears the bones crack. Casey says nothing, jaw clenched.

“But I didn't want to.”

April blinks. She can smell Raph's Confusion Stink.

“What?” Donnie asks.

Leo swallows again, eyes shining with the threat of tears. He clenches his jaw like the stubborn thing he is to keep them from falling and meets no one's eyes. “I said—I said before that you'd have all been better off if I hadn't—hadn't come back, so... I thought, since I said it, it had to be true. That I really think that—so I came here. To—to try to go back—” His voice cracks and the tears fall. He glares at his feet, fists clenched tight around his katanas. “But I—I tried to m-make a portal, a-and—and it wouldn't work. I can see the prison dimension so clear in my head 'cause I dream about it every night, I can see—him, 'cause all can hear is him screaming at me and, and hitting me over and over, and—and it wouldn't work, because—”

His katanas clatter loudly to the ground as Leo drops them. He wraps his arms around himself, ducking his head as he trembles. April watches, her heart breaking in a million different ways. He looks every bit his age. Sixteen years old and scared.

“I don't wanna go,” Leo whimpers, hands clasped against his chest like he's holding something precious there—whatever it is, it's the only thing holding him together. “I know I said it, so it—it must be true, but I—I don't wanna go back, I'm scared and I don't wanna go—”

Donnie stomps the distance between them. Leo looks up and goes ridged, eyes wide. April doesn't blame him because Donnie looks ready to kill something, every muscle wound tighter than a copper spring. He lifts an arm high, and Leo flinches—

April reaches for Donnie a beat too late.“Donnie—!”

Donnie grabs Leo by the shoulder and yanks him into his chest, arms snapping around him in a tight embrace. Leo stares straight ahead, dumbstruck. April drops her hand.

Leo blinks. “... Don...?”

“I'm gonna say a bunch of things now,” Donnie says against Leo's shoulder, and he sounds all kinds of pissed off, yet it's the softest April has ever heard him. “And I need you to listen good because I will never be this emotionally vulnerable again for the rest of my life. Not necessarily by choice, but because feelings are difficult for me, as you are aware, and somehow this spell lifts the cap off of every bottled-up thing in my neurodivergent brain. So... so listen up, okay?”

“... 'kay.”

Donnie takes a deep, deep breath. April can't see his face, but he can hear his grimace, uncomfortable even without the 'cap' keeping every thought and feeling at bay. But he doesn't let go or loosen his hold around Leo. If anything, as Leo relaxes against him, Donnie's arms tighten.

And then—“I adore you, Leonardo.”

Leo gasps softly. Donnie keeps going, arms tightening.

“And you are my twin. Biology be damned, you are my twin brother in every way that matters. We balance each other out. I'm book-smart, the best with machines, engineering and science in general, while you're street-smart, witty and honest to god sly in ways I could never be. You fuel my love of musical theatre and act as my soundboard when I get suck on a problem. I'm your cuddle buddy while we're watching old Barbie movies when you're having a Bad Brain Day. You're my sword, and I'm your shield. That's you and me. A pair of disasters who barely function on our own but are unstoppable when we're together. That's how it's supposed to be. That's how I want it to be, for however long we have on this dumb planet. Because I love you, Nardo.

“You're my twin, my only twin, and I love you so freaking much it's scary. I'm nothing without you. I felt you leave this dimension the day we nearly lost you. I thought I felt you die. I never want to go through that visceral pain ever, ever again. I swear to whatever higher power I don't believe in, if you ever think about leaving us again, if you make me an only middle child, I will hunt you down like a dog, drag you by your shell and glue The Bucket to your goddamn, blue gum-ball son of a bitch head for the rest of your life.”

April huffs something between a laugh and a sob, echoed by Raph as he swipes a thumb under his eye. Of course, anything 'heartfelt' from Donnie would be sprinkled with insults and half-baked threats. But just as Raph hovers and mothers, how Mikey paints and attacks with cuddles and kisses, it's just one of the many ways Donnie wears his love.

Tears stream down Leo's face, arms slowly coming up to hug Donnie back just as tight, fingers digging into the grooves of the battle shell. “But—but you said—“ He hiccups. “You said we weren't—you called me a selfish prick. I called you s-so many awful things. I hurt everyone, you, Raph, Dad, Mikey—“

“Yeah, you did. So did I. We were pissed off and tired, and we hurt each other. But that's the thing about feelings...” Donnie draws back just enough to look Leo in the eye. April can see the dampness on his cheeks as he smiles. He presses his forehead against Leo's. “They're not facts. And you know how I am about facts.”

Leo's lip trembles against his smile. “Yeah. Y-You're like the freakin' Bible, but without the fear of god.”

“Funny, but I'm still talking.”

“Right. Sorry.”

“Thank you. And the cool thing about feelings?”

Donnie takes Leo's chin between his fingers and lifts his head to meet his eyes. “They're true in the moment, but they can change. And yeah, sure, I'm still nice and pissed off that you punched me, bit me, told me you were better off dead and then ran off, but mostly? I'm so freaking glad you're safe, and you have no idea how sorry I am for what I said and did. I'm so sorry, Leo. You're my little brother, my twin, my better half, and you mean everything to me. That is a fact. The day it isn't is the day I defy the laws of the universe to make it so. Okay?”

Leo stares at Donnie. April sees the second he breaks before he launches himself at Donnie, sending them both crashing to the asphalt.

“I'm so sorry, Don-Don!” Leo wails into Donnie's chest, a heartbreaking sound that finally pushes April over the edge as she wipes fruitlessly at her own tears. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I love you, I love you so goddamn much, I don't wanna leave, I wanna stay, I wanna stay, I'm sorry—!”

Donnie clings to Leo, burying his face into the crook between Leo's neck and shoulder. The twins wrap their arms and legs around each other and hold fast; it'd take a miracle (or a death wish) to break them apart. No one tries. Instead, Raph and Mikey rush past and skid across the concrete, barrelling into the twins and wrapping them up in their arms. Mikey's wailing just as loud into Leo's arm. Raph's tears are silent as he crushes his little brothers against him.

This would be where April would join in, screeching her name and love for her family at the top of her lungs and clinging to her boys. Instead she hangs back, her hand still burning as she clenches it tight behind her. Casey notices and says nothing, draping an arm around her shoulders.

Splinter hobbles over, reaching for Leo through the barricade of sobbing turtles to cup his striped cheek. Leo's head snaps up. “Dad, Daddy, I'm so sorry,” he says, all shades of miserable and guilt ridden, “I didn't—I never meant to—I know you tried, you always t-tried, I know you love us, and I love you, I—”

“Hush, Baby Blue,” Splinter says, cradling his sons' face in both hands and kissing his forehead. “I know. It's alright. Everything will be alright. For now, let's get you home.”

Leo sniffles and nods. “Okay. Okay. I really wanna go home.”

“Good,” Raph says roughly. “'Cos after what you pulled, that's where your ass is stayin'. I'm invoking Dad's grounding privileges, and you, little brother, are grounded for a week.”

Leo chuckles wetly, nuzzling his cheek against Raph's arm. “I'll take that, boss man. Honestly, as long as I can still get cuddles, I don't care how long you ground me.”

“How about a year?”

“... I care a little bit. And where the hell are April and Casey?”

April stiffens. Casey jumps, then points at himself in question.

“Yes, you, you big turds! I wanna hug my other little brother right freaking now!” Leo wriggles one arm free from the embrace and reaches for the boy, making grabby motions. His smile is wide and real, but still, it trembles. “And I want my big sister.”

April's breath catches.

“I wanna hug her and tell her I love her, and I forgive her for everything. Please?”

Oh, damn you, kid.

She and Casey charge the turtles and slam into the embrace, Raph lifting an arm to let them squeeze in. Casey winds his arms around Donnie and Leo, the former refusing to budge even as he frees one hand to clench the back of Casey's shirt. April peppers Leo's face with kisses until he's giggling, and then finally, finally, she wraps her arms around her little brother. “I'm so sorry, baby,” she whispers against his bruised cheek.

He frees one arm to snake it around her waist and squeeze. She feels him smile. “I know. I forgive you.”

April smiles back.

~0o0~

True to form, they have a blanket fort constructed within minutes of getting home.

Raph orders from Run Of the Mill, and Splinter makes good on his promised hugs. Mikey makes too many cookies, and Casey cries into his hot chocolate through Ratatouille. April snorts into hers during Howl's breakdown in Howl's Moving Castle and ends up with chocolate up her nose. Leo laughs in her face. It's the most delightful sound, but she still chucks marshmallows at him.

Donnie doesn't leave Leo's side for longer than he deems necessary. Leo is in no rush to stop him, a clinginess that she hasn't seen from either of them since they were younger. Or since Leo's recovery after the invasion.

She keeps one eye on them for most of the night, draped over or wrapped up in each other as close as they can get, sharing blankets and pillows, fingers interlocked as they watch movie after movie, stealing food and doing absolutely nothing about it save for the odd glare. It's the cutest damn thing she's ever seen. Splinter pushes his ninja skills to the limits to secretly film them with his phone.

She texts him to send her the video. He replies with three minutes' worth of footage and a thumbs-up emoji.

Everyone else has fallen asleep, Lost World playing softly in the background when April hears them whispering. It's rude, but she keeps her head down where it's pillowed on Casey's chest and pricks her ears.

“You know how I record everything?” Donnie says, unprompted.

“Yeah? You recorded Hypno's spell that one time. Do you still have it?”

“Freakin' yeah, I do. Kinda wanna use it again, too.”

Leo giggles sleepily. “Yeah, it was fun. Weird, but fun.”

“Sums up our lives perfectly.”

“For real, though. Why'd you bring it up?”

Donnie says nothing. April slowly, carefully turns her head to face them, mindful of the boy she's using as her pillow. Leo's legs are draped over Donnie's lap, the slider nestled against his older twin as he absently plays with the fingers of Donnie's left hand, the other arm wrapped around Leo's shell. They're both in their biggest, cosiest hoodies—matching unicorn ones Donnie had bought for Leo as 'compensation' after the last bout of Rat Flu. It's a wretchedly adorable picture, but April can't snap a pic and risk being discovered. Curses.

Then Donnie says, “We heard what happened in the prison dimension.”

Leo stiffens, eyes haunted. So does April.

Donnie, what the hell?

“... what?”

Donnie's eyes are locked on the screen, watching the T-Rex chase the characters through the jungle. “Your comms were still operational,” he says tonelessly. “It's a marvel, really. I hadn't expected that to be a thing my tech can do, so that's cool. But yeah. We heard everything. I still have the recording stashed somewhere in my hard drives. I haven't listened to it since I found it, but something illogical in me tells me not to delete it.”

April knows all of this. She was there when Donnie chanced across the audio file and held him during his breakdown. She was there when it happened, watching the blood drain from Splinter's face as the monster purred with a wickedness that chills her to the bone even now—

“My wrath will be reserved for you alone.”

She remembers the crunch of bones, the sound of skin and flesh tearing, crumbling concrete and her little brother's screams of pain. A whimper, so small and afraid she almost hadn't heard it, and then—

“Wipe that grin off your face!”

—before the line went dead. She'd been so sure Leo had gone with it.

Wide-eyed, Leo curls closer to his twin. “... oh.”

Donnie rests his chin atop Leo's head. “Yeah.”

“... that's why you got so pissed off when I asked for your password.”

“... yeah. I didn't want you to hear it and trigger you. It's bad enough that you went through it at all. You've barely healed from the physical wounds. I didn't want you hurt because I can't delete a stupid recording of the worst moment of your life. Our lives. But for the life of me, I can't delete it. It's like a part of me wants to hold onto it as a reminder.” He scoffs. “As if I'll ever forget how I nearly lost my best friend.”

Oh. Oh.

The thing that pushed Donnie over the edge, ensued a fight and sent Leo away—

Donnie wears his love with layers of sarcasm, empty threats and insults. His worry isn't much different, not even under a truth spell. In trying to protect his brother, Donnie had nearly driven him off.

Jeez. These boys are gonna kill me.

Then Leo laughs softly, scrubbing his dry cheek with his shoulder. “Dude, you should've just told me. I wouldn't have looked or even asked if you'd said.”

“You didn't ask, therefore, I was not compelled to tell you.”

“But you literally just told me, unprompted, that you had it. We're watching CGI dinosaurs kill people, and you decided to confess that you screamed at me because you were scared I'd trigger myself over a recording. I did not ask you a damn thing.”

Donnie stares straight ahead, eyes wide like he's come to a revelation of some kind. “... Huh. Well, shit.”

Leo muffles his laughter against Donnie's hoodie. “You're an idiot.”

Donnie scowls but cuddles in closer, de-tangling his hand from Leo's to tug the blanket over them. “Yeah, well, if we're going by twin logic, I'm only half an idiot, making you the other half. Together we share one brain cell.”

“No, that's half a brain cell. Together we make one whole brain cell and one whole idiot. Wait, no—this is getting away from me. I'm really stupid right now, I can't do twin math.”

“Yeah, no, please never try to math again. Leave the thinking to me.”

Leo snickers. “Yeah. Book-smarts, street-smarts. Sword and shield.” Leo goes quiet for a heartbeat, his smile a soft thing April rarely sees. “... that was really sweet, actually. I mean, the whole speech was just. Top-notch, not gonna lie—”

“You physically can't.”

“I know, so, yeah, like. It was nice. Really nice. I... really needed to hear it. And I really am sorry for the things I said. And for beating the shit outta you.”

“I forgive you. Already said that.”

“I know. Just making sure you know it's true.” Leo smiles and shuts his eyes, cuddling closer. “I love you. Weirdo.”

Donnie smiles back, closing his eyes. “Love you, too. Dum-dum.”

Soon, their breaths even out. April watches them a moment longer, safe, sound and comfortable in each other's embrace, her heart full of love for the pair of idiots she calls her brothers. She snuggles against Casey, bringing his arm over her shoulders as she closes her eyes, finally dozing off.

She has high hopes for tomorrow.

~0o0~

Day Three begins with a phone call from Draxum.

After calling in a favour from an old contact, he got his hands on a scroll from Witch Town detailing the terms and conditions of spells of this nature and, more importantly, how to break them.

A little late in the game, but better late than never.

“According to the terms,” Draxum says, eyes roaming down the length of the scroll while Mikey sits behind him on top of the couch, braiding his hair, “to break it, the afflicted one must confess a truth from the depths of their heart that would otherwise be left to wither with time. In other words, go big or go home.”

Huh. It's that simple.

April wants to hit something. So bad.

“You're seriously telling me,” Leo seethes beside a silent Donnie, “that all we had to do—”

“Was having a therapy session like I said we should do literally in the first place? Pretty much,” Mikey chimes with a grin that teeters between sour and smug, finishing Draxum's braid. He slides from the top of the chair onto Draxum's lap, landing upside down with his feet on the yokai's shoulders. Draxum sighs but lets him have his way. “Could've avoided all this drama if we'd just talked to each other, but nah, y'all said to hell with that crap, I'm gonna make a scene in my own dang home and—”

“You're a real bitter piece of shit when you're compelled, eh, Miguel?” Leo grins, taking the sting out of the jab. Mikey grins back, shooting finger guns. Draxum sighs again. Donnie looks at his lap and says nothing.

Raph claps his hands together, grinning. “Great! We break the spell early, and everything can go back to normal! Which hopefully involves being more open with each other so we don't have situations like this again! Please. Raph can only take so much.”

“Loud and clear, big guy.” Leo drapes an arm around Donnie's shoulders. “I know I'm like, the king of emotional repression and bad coping mechanisms save for Dad, but... I'll try to be more honest with you guys going forward. For real.”

April reaches for him, cupping his cheek in her palm. The bruising is already fading. “That's all we ask, Leo,” she says. Leo puts his hand over hers and smiles.

Mikey mimics Raph and claps his hands once. “Aight! So all we gotta do is confess a deep-seated truth about ourselves and this nightmare is over! I'll go first!” He squirms on Draxum's lap so that he's right side up, crossing his legs as he clears his throat pointedly. Unconsciously, April leans in. They all do.

And despite offering to go first, despite all he preaches, Mikey hesitates. He twists his fingers on his lap. “... so, um... the truth is, um—m-my truth, um...”

On Draxum's left, Splinter smiles. “Go ahead, my son. It's alright.”

Mikey offers his Dad a wavering smile before taking a breath. And another. “Okay. The truth is... the truth is that I'm scared of—of growing up. I mean, not physically, and maybe not the same way April or Casey might be, 'cause they'll have to look for jobs, places to live and worry about adult human things. Me, though? I don't know what the heck I'm supposed to do.” He looks at his hands, three-fingered and calloused, stained with paint and faint scars like cracked pottery running under the length of black wrappings.

“There's so much I wanna do. I wanna show off my art. I wanna travel the world and see where Dad grew up. I wanna make Papa proud and master mystic arts. But at the same time... I know I can't do all of them, at least not with this whole situation,” he gestures to his face. “And using a broach... that's not who I really am. And, these are all things I gotta think about when I get older, and I'm—I'm scared I'm not gonna be ready for it! I'm scared I'm gonna let people down 'cause I'll never reach my full potential, I'm scared of—of changing from who I am now to whoever I'll be as an adult! And—and as much as I complain and moan about it... I'm scared of not being your little brother anymore.”

April doesn't have to touch her face to know she's crying. The rest of her boys aren't faring much better. Even Draxum looks choked, blinking a bit too much to be natural. She's surprised Splinter isn't outright bawling. Then again, maybe not. With his past, she wonders how often he'd asked himself the same questions, hid the same fears under costumes and layers of pride.

“Well, you don't have to worry about that, Mike,” Donnie says, clearing his throat when his voice cracks in a vain effort to sound bored. “You'll always be our little brother, no matter how much you grow up. And all those fears you mentioned? Psht. Child's play. You're far more capable and remarkable than you realize. Have more faith in yourself. Besides, if you do, in an impossible scenario, happen to fail, you'll still have us. Capiche?”

They stare at Donnie.

Damn, April thinks. Truth spells are really something.

A few tears roll down Mikey's cheeks before he scrubs them away with a wobbly grin. “Y-yeah. Yeah. Okay. Thanks, Dee.”

Draxum lays a hand on Mikey's shoulder. “How do you feel?” he asks.

Mikey takes another deep breath through his nose. “I feel... better, I guess. Feels good to let it out.”

“Good. Do you know who filled my coat with those disgusting jelly beans last night?”

“Uhhhh no idea! Sorry, Papa!”

April chokes. Leo and Raph gape. Casey gasps. Donnie nods with a slow grin.

Mikey blinks. Then he squeals, leaping off Draxum's lap and pumping his fists in the air. “Ohhhhh hell yeah! I broke the spell, baby! I can say whatever I want again!”

“Excellent,” Draxum nods. “But that also means I know you just lied to me, so no jelly beans for a week. Busted.”

Mikey's grin drops like a stone. “Aw, nuts.”

“And on that note, I guess I'll go next. Go big or go home, right?” Leo sits up straight with a sigh. He scratches the back of his head, his other hand squeezing Donnie's when his twin reaches for him.

“So. Pretty sure it's no big secret that I still have nightmares of the—the prison dimension and stuff. I think about it a lot, about what could've happened if Mikey hadn't gotten me out. And yeah, sometimes when I'm having a bad day, I think, 'maybe if I'd stayed there, things would suck but not for long, right?' Which, yes, before you say anything, those are Very Bad Thoughts to have and I should've said something sooner, but... y'know me. King of bad coping mechanisms, yo...”

He holds up a weak peace sign, eyes welling up. Donnie squeezes his hand tighter. Leo scoots closer, sniffling. “And... and what's really wild is I didn't—I didn't wanna go the first time. I really, really didn't. But that bastard was too strong for all of us at our strongest. It was me, or you. And Raph was right. It was time I stepped up and started acting like a hero, a leader. And heroes sometimes have to make sacrifices, so...”

April expects the heartbreak in Splinter's eyes, the fresh tears in Mikey's, and the forced indifference from Donnie. She doesn't expect Raph's deep growl, and it startles her.

Leo seems to realize his error and tries to scoot away, but Raph is faster. He reaches out and grabs Leo's chin—careful, even at his angriest, always with them—turning Leo's head so their eyes meet.

“You,” Raph hisses through clenched teeth, “will never do that again. I've told you once, and I'll tell you again: You're my little brother first, and as my little brother, I would very much like you to live.” The anger abates a fraction, a wet sheen glistening in Raph's eyes as his hand moves to cup Leo's cheek instead. “You don't have to die to be a hero. You don't have to And I'm sorry, so damn sorry, that I ever gave you the impression you have to push yourself to your breaking point to prove you're worth something. Because you're worth everything, Leo. And I don't care if you're not a great leader—those guys die for good causes and get made into legends or whatever, but good leaders? They stick around and lead the teams they're put in charge of. And that's what you're gonna do. What we're gonna do, together, from here on out. Okay?”

Leo stares at Raph with swirling eyes. He shuts them and sucks in a deep breath. When he opens his eyes again, he's smiling. “Loud and clear, big bro. And for the record... about that whole 'worth something' thing? I'm starting to believe it. I do believe it. But it's nice to hear it every once in a while, so... thanks.”

Raph grins back.

Then Donnie leans forward. “Say, Leonard, do you know where my favourite fidget spinner went by any chance? Also, Raphaela, were you the one to bend my metal straw after you made that fruit smoothie yesterday?”

Leo sweats. “Haven't the foggiest, brother dear!”

Raph chuckles and looks away. “Nah, nah that—that wasn't, no, it was—oh! Oh! Hey, we broke the spell!”

“Oh hell yeah, you're right! We can lie again, sweet pizza supreme in the—oh, wait.”

Donnie grinds his teeth hard enough that April can hear them, his bo transforming into a rocket-boosted hammer drill. “You sons of bitches—!”

“Wait, wait!” Mikey slides on his knees between a livid Donnie and their quivering brothers, arms spread. “Before you blast 'em, you gotta break your own spell! I'm sure there are plenty of nice things you can think to say before—”

“I already broke it.”

Silence.

Mikey blinks. Leo and Raph blink. Draxum and Splinter stare. Casey tilts his head.

April says, “What?”

Donnie leans back with a sigh, the anger leaving him in a rush as the hammer drill dissolves into mystic pixels. “I broke my spell hours ago. You may recall the incredibly touching and heartfelt speech I bestowed upon my then-wayward twin here. That was when I no longer felt compelled to tell the truth or answer every question asked of me. I thought that was just me going non-verbal after stressing out for hours, but it wasn't until Leo pointed... something out to me that I will not disclose at this juncture—because I can do that now, hell yes—that I realized I had broken free of the spell. So, yeah. Tello takes the first prize for beating bogus spells. You may applaud.”

Everyone stares for a beat until Mikey starts whooping and clapping. Casey follows with equal enthusiasm while Raph rolls his eyes but claps, too, ever the supportive big brother. The co-parents share a look that speaks a thousand words, and April shakes her head, because of course he broke it first. Always the overachiever, even when he's not aware of it.

Which means that everything he said after, to Leo and just now to Mikey...

April's heart melts. Aww, Dee.

Leo, remarkably, says nothing. Instead, he shuffles back to Donnie's side and throws his arms around his shoulders, pressing a loud, smacking kiss against his cheek. Donnie shrieks in protest, arms flailing as he curses Leo like a Japanese sailor. Clinging like a limpet, Leo throws his head back with a laugh that fills the lair. Mikey and Raph, as usual, are quick to join in on the cuddling, squeezing until Donnie stops squirming and gives in.

All it takes is a look from Leo before April charges in, screeching her name at the top of her lungs, dropping right on top of a howling Mikey. Casey flops across Raph's shoulders, scrambling for purchase like a gremlin until the snapper is giggling—“Casey, stop, yer ticklin' me~!”—while Draxum and Splinter watch on.

April squeezes Leo, smushes her cheek against Mikey's, and lets herself breathe.

Finally, she thinks. Finally. I got my brothers back.

~0o0~

The following week, they bump into the witch that cursed them. Her face is twisted into an ugly, smug thing when she catches the turtles flinching.

April pulls out her bat and swings.

“What the crap, April?!” Mikey screeches, hands hovering over the unconscious, bruised yokai. The twins are barely standing as they howl with laughter. Raph puts his face in his hands to muffle a scream.

April shoulders her bat and grins. “Just giving her my honest opinion.”

---

(This is so long! I just didn't want to add a part four XD)

Reblogs are appreciated :)

Feel free to send more requests, I love writing for these boys <3

#rottmnt #rottmnt fic #my writing #god this chapter was a BEAST #but I hope y'all like it #I'll post it to ao3 as soon as my suspension is lifted #can you tell I love the disaster twins?#disaster twins

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