#im not afraid to admit how ??? shitty my character is as a person

[bulbabutt]

Thank you for being a bastion of sanity amidst the growing "but proshippers! But incest! But RPF!" purity culture's nonsense.

I'm so tired of being afraid to admit that I've even read a fanfic/fancomic because that same person might have a DIFFERENT ACCOUNT where they indulge in a problematic ship. And therefore they are "bad" and by association, I could be labeled "bad" for having looked at something completely unrelated and tossed on a block list.

It's asinine. Yet I'm too afraid to even get off anon because I know I don't have the mental fortitude to survive a potential online witch hunt.

So thank you, I wish you all the strength to keep screaming the words I cannot.

honestly youre not the first person to send me an anon about this, i just tend to feel just as afraid of responding to them as much as you are afraid of coming off anon. i think because while ill post things in vague context, it becomes another thing when someone says it out loud, yknow? but i appreciate it, knowing im not just screaming into a void where no one likes what i have to say.

i think what i will say is im not the only one who THINKS like i do, but i am just dumb enough to be loud and annoying about it. its kind of a thing where i'd never say anything specific because like... some people are so vicious and will demand blood if they get a whiff if i mention anything vaguely. the fact i have to be afraid to say 'people dont mind' for their own safety is crazy, huh?

i think that thing youre saying about being worried by association from association was the same first time i had this thought. i was reading something so good so deep something that effected me so deeply from how well it was talking about the realistic effects of incestuous abuse, and then i went to see what else the author had written and i was like. oh. theres just regular incest in here too. and that was kind of a moment of hm.. perhaps i need to think more about what really matters here. the fact i can engage with what i want and just say 'oh i see what else you do, thats not for me so i will just not engage with that'

so it hurts worse when theres the idea of someone engaging with art they like that has nothing 'weird' going on, then suddenly getting hit with screaming that that artist has a side account theyre not advertising where they make weird art that they are keeping FULLY separate from the account in question. like i do not see how that helps anybody in that situation.

then theres the generalization of it. the idea that maybe all you did was draw like. 19 yr old versions of two 15 yr olds kissing, and suddenly that gets you put on a list of people who will draw literal children in sexual situations, gets you put in that same boat without question. that shit is so cruel to me, that these things all get painted with the same brush. equally as bad, equally as deserving of being ostracized. or the idea that you get put on that list for not caring about if strangers ship things on the internet, makes you just as bad as someone who makes it. i really just hate this entire culture.

idk im... old school i guess? back in my day youd watch a shitty cartoon that had over 20 characters in it so you could smash them together in whatever ship suited you. crack ships were the bread and butter of me and my friends, shit that made no sense but in your own head. the idea of being anti... shipping at all is so... thats very weird. shipping as a thing is very much what fandom was ever made for in the first place? like. im not kidding, learn your history if you dont know that (middle age women shipping kirk and spock)

back when i was a kid i watched this tv show called kim possible, and i was a kid who didnt know shit about themselves seeing a pretty villain lady for the first time who called the main character who was a girl princess. i didnt know what to make of that, i didnt know the age difference between them i was a dumbass child, they were both drawn the same way! then im like 12 years old on the internet, i see theres a ship of the teenage girl and this like 30 yr old villain woman. do you think my 12 year old self saw the problematic nature and thought deeply about the morals of said ship? no. i was like 'holy shit i wish i was the teenage girl dating shego. why do i like this? oh god im a lesbian'

again. i was a child. what are you gonna do, go back in time and arrest my 12 year old ass for looking at pg rated fanart of women kissing on the internet? we didnt HAVE real representation yet! there was no korrasami, no rupphire, no bubbline, no lumity! shipping was the only place you could see stuff that was gay! and it being GAY would get you in more trouble than it having an age gap!

the fact is people WOULD cancel me now for that, wouldnt you?! thats where we're at. that IS a problematic ship, id be put on a blocklist in todays internet for being a child who crushed on villains. i didnt make it, i didnt create for it, i just looked at it and that would get you in trouble now!!! thats crazy.

i know thats a random tangent to go off on, but like..... hhhhh i dont know man. sometimes it seems like people want the internet to pass by broadcasting standards and practices and thats!!! bad!!! let people experiment with their weird shit as they figure themselves out, its so fucking normal. youre not a bad person for looking at things on the internet, youre not a bad person for engaging with things, youre not a bad person for being horny online! especially if you make your own fucking space for it?? a space easily blacklistable, with trigger warnings and EVERYTHING... we didnt have those when i was a kid, so some things are better, but culture is just worse.

i dunno. i just think i would not have thrived in this environment as a teenager. im glad im old and know better, but i worry about the lessons kids are learning from this. to feel ashamed, to bottle shit up, its not good for you. be kind to yourself, be kind to others. we're all working through shit in our own ways.

sorry for another long annoying post

[honeyed-latte]

Soooo.....ahem.

HoTD opinion time here after the recent episode TORPEDOED my favourite character for no reason. (RIP Aemond, you would have hated the writing in this ep.)

.

.

.

.

About the maiming of Aemonds face, loss of his eye, and Lucerys's manslaughter. (It wasn't murder, it was an accident, and it wasn't a war casualty either.) And how it truly was what kicked off the war.

Luke didn't hate Aemond, he has no reason to hate Aemond. He was AFRAID of Aemond, afraid of facing the fact that he had irreparably harmed someone that was dear to him (and he was dear to Luke, we know that). Luke feared retribution AND accountability, thats why he was scared.

He knew Aemond wanted revenge, but he also knew that an apology would have gone a long way. They were family, they had been friends once, but Luke denied Aemond even an apology because he was too scared to accept that he'd done something necessary of such entreating.

Luke, Jace, Bela, and Rhaena ganged up on Aemond wrongfully. It was WRONG fullstop. He defended himself and in a fit of adrenaline Luke made a decision out of anger and fear, that destroyed a part of Aemonds PERSON. Then, he was repeatedly denied closure for his maiming. Luke was spoonfed the lie that he'd done nothing wrong, but he clearly knows thats not true, but he STILL couldn't bring himself to even say a simple "Im sorry."

Accountability is hard, and very scary sometimes it's even scarier then the person you hurt. Admitting you did something monumentally shitty to a person can feel alot like admitting you're a bad person, even if thats not true.

I dont dislike Luke for doing what he believed was necessary to protect himself and his brother (and you shouldn't either), I dislike everyone AROUND Luke for purposefully wedging themselves between him and Aemond, denying BOTH OF THEM closure and the chance to move on and forgive each other and thus damning the rest of their family along with Luke and Aemond.

[your-dear-memmy]

Tokyo Ghoul:re ending thoughts +Juuzou meta p. 2 

[Sooo I just finished Tokyo Ghoul:re and I've got quite a lot on my mind abt the last arc bc this series has consumed my brain]

Warning: SPOILERS!!

I've heard plenty of people complain about how rushed it was, and while reading the ending I didn't think it was too huge of an issue, but man do I feel unfulfilled right now. The dragon arc went by so quick that it's like nothing ever happened at all, and most of its emotional weight was lost on me. 

But first of all, I want to talk about the Implications. 

What is up with the Dragon's orphans slowly gaining the intelligence of 5 year olds, and the characters speculating that was how ghouls were born?? what?? how was that just merely mentioned, why was it only glossed over?? My mind EXPLODED at that notion. 

Is there gonna be a new species of ghouls now that will gain the same intelligence as ghouls and humans, while still posing a threat? It became all about changing the world in the end, but it just seemed to really center around Kaneki’s own happy ending, because these implications for the world are astounding. Certainly, what Kaneki truly wanted was to keep his loved ones safe, but what I mean is that the consequences for the world as a whole aren't as positive as they're presented to be.

IT FEELS LIKE EVERYTHING WENT BACK TO THE START!!

Maybe these dragon orphans are supposed to represent a vicious cycle of life and war or whatever, but that wasn't really explained because they're just THERE. It feels like the war was all for nothing because now there's new enemies people are losing their lives for, and are being trained at academies to engage in combat with. Perhaps they're new enemies that kill parents of children that go on to become new-age "investigators" to avenge their families, like it used to be against the entirety of ghoul-kind.

It's obvious not every ghoul would play along so it makes sense there are still some harmful ghouls, but these dragon things gaining intelligence is seriously mind boggling. Wdym that's how ghouls were born?? And yall are exterminating them? Why are they attacking?? 

I feel like my time just got wasted cuz what do you mean these new enemies are getting smarter? Will they reach the iq of a real person soon enough? WHAT DO YOU MEAN they're starting to look more and more like humans? 

Is there gonna be yet another one eyed king to make peace with the dragons, the ghouls and the humans?? Is it necessary for this common enemy to still have to tie them together post-war? 

Why does it sound like a shitty set up for another sequel when we know damn well Ishida never wants to do anything with manga anymore, since he talked about how stressful working on Tokyo Ghoul has been for him? If it was a philosophical choice, then Im afraid I did not understand it, though I’d certainly love to.

That aside, in regards to the ending I have to say I liked the emotional weight of the discussion between Donato and Amon (what was even the point of Takizawa being there?), as Amon finally admitted he still loved his “father” despite his absolute evilness, and Donato actually loved him as well. 

The Uta vs Renji was cool ig though it didn't truly feel like there were any stakes (I can't say I mind them becoming rivals once more but it certainly could’ve been done better, as the clowns have been hyped up for SO LONG…), and I couldn't bring myself to be sad about Irimi and Koma when they were brought back for basically one panel and died the next, even though I really liked them :-(

I was kinda chilling with the Furuta fight, and I guess Furuta wishing in the end to have a normal life was a sign that it truly did all stem from his Washu inferiority, though he remains very weird for wanting to have children with an unwilling Rize. (The Dragon Rize stuff was epic) Overall, Furuta was a cool villain, so it's fine. His opaque motives and his monologue are not too bad at all.

I'm conflicted about Mutsuki’s role in the ending and how they behave after succumbing to and accepting their trauma. Their story is truly tragic and I understand the psychological reasoning as to why they’d latch onto Kaneki and lash out (they also sa’d Uta apparently, believing him to be Haise’s corpse? Uta changed his face shaped another time as well, so I do believe that was him), but them suddenly being badass once they remembered their trauma isn't really my cup of tea (which is ironic considering how many times Kaneki himself got “being suddenly badass because of trauma” moments) I liked them and the portrayal of their mental instability in the island arc but afterwards I didn't care much for them.  

Also did I miss something or are Amon and Akira not in the end?? Am I tripping??? Maybe some chapters didn't load because why wouldn't they be there? I'm so confused. Amon and Akira have def been in my top 5 favorite characters of the entire series, so safe to say I'm very puzzled.

Takizawa fading into obscurity is just so sad thatt I don't even know what to say, he just came back to watch and then do his thing after he was tortured and sa/d by Kano into being how he is now. Not everyone's gonna get a happy ending, obviously, but damn😭

One of the best parts of :re was most definitely Urie’s character arc- everyone's character arcs, really!

Tsukiyama’s character arc was spread onto the whole series, and tbh I completely dig it, even though the Tsukiyama raid arc probably could’ve been done even better. At first I thought he was gonna groom Hinami, but he turned out to be an actual gentle”-flower-man” lol. I like him!

Arima’s tragedy was so beautifully done, I swear. Def one of my absolute favorite parts, if not my favorite. It lives in my head rent free. 

I literally gasped so hard when it was revealed who Hide had been hiding as the whole time, Ishida's foreshadowing is truly insane. I already knew he was alive, but I was still surprised. He started to feel sm more like a concept tho, if that makes sense, haha.

And finally, my son: Juuzou Suzuya .

People were a bit harsh on Juuzou’s ending, I think, though I can definitely understand why!  

I don't think Juuzou understood what Marude really meant about making his own decisions- at least, not at first.

Juuzou is 29/30-ish I think, in the ending?? He's been working so hard all these years, just for Shinohara, to become him as if that's what he wanted from him.  Or so, that's the last we see of of his motives, though that's before the dragon war, so years back.

After the dragon war, his development feels null because it wasn't fully explained: we aren't told whether juuzou reflected on Marude’s words and decided to stick with the new ccg because he wanted to for himself. We aren't told whether Juuzou developed a sense of justice, and that's why he does what he does, or if that's what he thinks his assigned purpose is and he's simply just sticking to it because he thinks that's what shinohara would've wanted, or he simply doesn't know what else to do with himself. We don't know whether he actually embraced his scrapper/slaughterer role (as I said in my other meta) in a healthy manner or if he just stuck with it because that's what he's been all his life and he doesn't know how to be anything else.

We can speculate, but that brings it back to Shinohara. No manner how you look at it, if Juuzou hasn't reflected on himself and his motives after all these years, then meeting Shinohara once more would shatter his expectations, as it wouldn't just be happy tears and such. That's the man he's fought for for so, so long, and it's really hard to think of how their relationship would be. During those years, Juuzou idolized Shinohara a lot in his mind, which is why he initially wanted to be him. He loved Shinohara, and so what Shinohara stood for must've been, by proxy, just. So, if Juuzou hasn't removed himself from his delusion by actually maturing past the point we see him in before the :re time skip, then it's not gonna be as pretty for him because it wouldn't match his built up expectations, and that's why I find it rather bittersweet.

For someone so traumatized, I don't think Juuzou could ever fully recover, as trauma alters the brain; but, for the sake of my sanity, I'll think he chose to keep fighting for himself rather than because that was the role he was put in. I want to believe he's found how to be his own person, and just likes working together with his squad AND also sees Shinohara on a weekly basis. I JUST WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY DAMMIT💔💔

[With that said, I've been scavaging Ao3 and soon fanfic.net for fanfictiona to quench the void in my heart, but there aren't many that are Juuzou centric. I shan't give up just yet, though! Maybe I'll find one that'll make me feel less bittersweet about Juuzou and Shinohara!]

[im-not-a-simp-i-swear]

Hi! I just discovered your Tumblr blog, and I have an OM! request: both brothers and the side characters go see an opera with MC? I love the opera. My recommendation is Madame Butterfly, a drama with a sad ending. I cam imagine some of the boys will be crying during the emotional moments. And maybe reacting to MC crying at the end (tears of joy btw). The song "Un bel vi dremo" is also really moving. So sorry if it is very specific, I am still kinda new to Tumblr. Have a nice day!

GOING TO OPERA WITH MC

Im not really an opera fan so i'll just keep it at reactions and sort of short, sorry for that i'll try better next time 😳

P.S: luke has a small heart because he is a small boy jajaja

💙LUCIFER

- understandable reaction from you

- he is a fancy man and has definetely seen a good chunk of operas in his old man life spam, he wasnt going to reject this chance with you

- he has too teared up with certain acts but dont expect him to even bring that up

- will pat your shoulder and comfort you while maybe even chukcling a bit by your soft emotions, he finds it just adorable

💛MAMMON

- is also probably crying lets not lie here he has cried in operas before

- he will hug you and cry on your shoulder while you cry on his

- he isnt even an opera fan, he only came becuase you "insisted" on him to come

- the rest of the gang will definetely tease him afterwards for it and he wont admit to have cried in the future

🧡LEVI

- "oh no wait this is just like in anime oh no-"

- did silently get upset during the act and, while he'd become a tomato in the process, will comfort you if you're crying

- he will call it "basic normie stuff" but he knows and understands why you are sad

- he was already comforting you while you were watching anime with him in other moments so this isnt new for him

💚SATAN

- not really the kind to cry but he can see where you are comming from

- yeah sure he is the avatar of wrath but sadness is pretty different from angyness so

- will comfort you and tell you it was just an actand that its ok, no need for tears

- if he can get to be your comfort pillow in the future then he'll come to operas with you more often, he likes to comfort you

💖ASMO

- be careful you'll ruin his very fancy clothes.

- but noseriously he'll hand you the tissues and will make sure your pretty face that he loves so much doesnt get ruined by the tears

- i cant tell if he would get emotional or not too but either way his make up wont get ruined

- dont be surprised if he pulls out a mini fan from his pockets or somewhere and dry yours and his tears away

❤BEEL

- its teddy bear time

- HE KNOWS, HE JUST KNOWS HOW YOU FEEL, he wont cry but he will be sad, will be even more if he sees you sad too

- he is glad to see you feel emotions and can interprete sad moments, the ending was just the cherry on top for you of course so his arms were ready beforehand

- best comfort boy mostly because he is one of my favorites but that's a convo for another day

💜BELPHIE

- ew

- this little bastard LAUGHED at some moments and he'd probably laugh at the ending too if it doesnt involve two very close loved ones being seperated

- if it were to be otherwise then he wont laugh at the ending.... but he will at the other parts

- will let you cry on his shoulder but would probably also give you that look of that one meme with the girl with shitty makeup on her just being uncomfrotable because of her sister in a car or whatever

🤎DIAVOLO

- teddy bear time part 2

- he too has seen a good amount of operas in his days and has too gotten sad at certain moments

- he wont be afraid to admit he teared up a bit during the ending, and he'll gladly offer a comfort hug to whoever needs it, not just you

- he loves your emotional personality and he loves to hug you and pat your head while comforting you, it'll be ok MC

💚BARBATOS

- understandable reaction part 2

- this man has seen some shit, an opera will, AT MOST, make he shed a single tear, but no more

- will pat your back/head if you need some comfort, but he really is a simple man

- has with him tissues or anything you might need just incase anyone were to cry during the opera though he probably knew already what would happen

🤍SIMEON

- give him a moment MC the man's is crying a river right now

- will hug you so strong it'll feel like you're the one who is comforting HIM

- he has seem maybe an opera or two but he was defientely NOT ready for this one, he could feel the knot on his stomach ever since the first sad scene

- he'd probably make luke cry just from crying himself

💓LUKE

- speaking of Luke he came because simeon and you were going

- maybe you shouldve known better because the boy is SAD

- he'll look for you or simeon for comfort after the opera is over, if he hadnt done so during the play itself

- as a child of course he would also be out here making all kinds of questions about the play, what is it with that look, huh? Did you really think a child would understand an opera?

🖤SOLOMON

- understandable reaction part 3

- will give you a pat on the back but would probably also tease you for crying

- another person who wouldve probably laughed during some sad moments, however this bastard might just lose it completely with the ending.

- He is spending more time judging the mistakes and loopholes of the opera more than the actual story and sad moments

[anonil88]

Malcolm and Marie live blog

I don't usually do liveblogs for movies but yea.

Spoilers ahead!!

I love that its modern timed but very 70s stylized.

A tune indeed.

When you are high and drunk on success and

How the white critic reacts is why I feel like gatekeeping my scripts. At the same time some things I do make are about race or involve.

Marie sitting on the patio smoking is a mood whenever men are talking.

So he's pretentious and unaware.

Whoever chose the music for this, I feel like we would be Spotify mutuals.

Can this nigga stop pacing.

Also can he stop talking;

Marie is so tired and unimpressed.

Also little booties matter and are to be bitten.

Oooo the tension and the jazz.

Title Card over mac and cheese.

Shitty boxes mac and cheese but still mac and cheese.

Tbh i always wonder if spouses/significant others get upset when their spouses don't acknowledge them during speeches.

John sounds so much like his dad but I really hope his acting style differs from his dad a lot.

Guilty confession?

He did not profit off of his partners backstory and then not even acknowledge her.....I.....

If that ever happened to me catch me cussing my partner out during the beginning credits, the end credits, in the car, and at home.

GASLIGHTER!

The way I'm excited for Zendaya to give me some, oooo can she work with Regina King. Please on my knees I pray.

Um no that's not your job to coddle your lead.

He's a dick and the type of dick who makes himself look like a good person around other people.

If Sam Levinson is trying to make his viewers more of misandrist, it's working.

I feel like Marie has her flaws probably a lot of them and we will surely see as this continues, but Malcolm needs to learn how to apologize sincerely.

70s vibes! 70s vibes!

Them kissing and talking about criticism and dreams makes me miss a partner. A partner that I've had and haven't had.

Women really are behind every great man.

Yea sir you fucked a happy moment.

Oh visual allegories for looking in from the outside and cat and mouse chasing and looking from the outside in.

She's saying she doesn't feel noticed by you.

Gas lighter :0 he called her an emotional support dog, bruh.

I would LOVE to co-write or take a writing class held by Sam Levinson. The fights i write are very much in this same realm of reflection and anger and monologue.

Sam.....sam.....are all the sides inside of you doing okay sir?

The ugly side of dating and being in a relationship with someone who struggles with their own demons.

Honestly I could close my eyes and listen to this script being read without seeing these characters visually. Just close my eyes and get a sense of these characters like it was a radio story.

Oh. Oh this is a new wheelhouse of Zendaya acting; a different voice is like breaking through here and her expressions aren't the same we are used to. You can literally hear another character in there....hmm.

Mans is outside really fighting with his invisible demons lmfao.

Selfish ass, how after everything she said you came out of it thinking about your own craft and self instead of how you hurt her.

So she's conditional.

Me: did sam (a white man) say nigga this many times in his script or are the actors adding their own inflections. Not just the lingo used but the topic of race and directing etc. being written by a white writer about black characters is always gonna be a critique when you're writer is a white person.

Alexa play Broken Girls by Saba

He is so hurtful.

A clown nigga a clown look in the fucking mirror you bozo head ass looking like you need some Mehron clown white and a size 16 in clown shoes.

John is doing a really swell performance and reading of these lines.

He is reading her for her insecurities by bringing up his experiences with other women and that.....is yikes.

Arguments can get messy like this in real life but it takes a lot of maturity and control to either not let it get to this point or have a healthy conversation afterwards.

This film is really shot on some very crisp lenses.

They sitting there like 🚬🧍‍♀️🧍‍♂️.

Leftover Mac and Cheese and unfinished cigarettes.

The nyt etc. pay walls are so annoying, but there is a work around look at the articles on incognito or add a period at the end of the url.

He sounds like his daddy so much here, weird, this is the only part I'm eh on the dialogue it feels real but a bit out of pace in how they are bouncing off one another.

Nail scissors? So the end is not the only part he based off of Marie. 🙄

ITS A GOOD REVIEW YOU DINGUS but also its a full review they are going to critique things. She isn't wrong though he did profit off of a woman's story that was not his own to profit from.

Yes Malcolm because unfortunately all marginalized people look through a lens of life that is inherently political because of the world they live in.

He is so mad and upset and had a lot on his chest. But I think he Malcolm and Sam are talking about something thats an issue and a non issue. Being critiqued for you art is hard but also Malcolm is not super self aware. He's like a stand in figure of for example rich depop sellers who wanna be oppressed so badly they yell at others instead of examining their own personal behaviors and ethics.

Oh Marie, when you know the spark is gone and you pick fights because.

He ain't even ask her to read?

One critic I have for most of hollywood actors is they learn their cry and that is it. A change from this is Margot Robbie, I adore her fluctuations of crying being similar but the crying is carried differently for each character. If I had to say any actor that does a cry scene amazing its this woman right here (Amy Adams)

You stole her story from her and gave it away, she has a right to be upset and angry and a rubber band ball of emotions.

Citizen Kane, not the cinematography, but the story is it even that good? (Unpopular opinion but meh, maybe in my rewatch it will be better.)

But that is what people want authenticity and whatever authenticity means to them. What is real for one is false for another.

To be honest look at the criticism of Euphoria, well earned, but a lot of people were like this isn't real even though he literally wrote about his own life. People said it was inauthentic like....wtf.

Ahh the smoking is just a habit, he quit and she didn't.

CAST ZENDAYA IN A HORROR MOVIE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING. Get Lupita and Zendaya and some more black actors preferably less known ones in a horror movie. One with a interesting script and story, directed by Regina King. Please and thankyou.

I love Marie yep that was amazing.

Behind every great man is a greater woman, one that deserves her credit for how she has stood behind. I wonder the stories of those women, what they have sacrificed or not sacrificed. Their thoughts and feelings when the world is surrounding their partner and views them as a plus one. (I'd write a short script about this but I think do I have the time, can I, or am I equipped ?)

He is a shitty person for bringing up his exes, like she even said I don't wanna know any of that.

Imagine being on anti depressents and rarely having a sex drive and then when you do your partner starts talking about their exes and tearing you apart for all your faults.

I love when you see peaks of Zendaya's cadence in roles.

Tension, what if's and he didn't even bring her up in his speech.

Marie to herself and the audience:

He is not afraid that he will loose her but as my character says in my unreleased story, "i can't wait til you give me a fucking reason to leave your ass." Malcolm expects everything in order for not even doing the bare minimum and she is only asking him for something as simple as consideration. She just wants him to be considerate. He wants to get married and considers their relationship like rolling down a hill at full speed and he cannot apologize, he cannot be considerate, and he cannot admit his wrongs. He can only offer her I love yous that he probably does mean but he does not back up outside of what he's done for her in the past. The past which was more of her experience than his and he sees his part in it as a burden. He doesn't use his own vantage point of the past to further his career he uses her. He does all of these things without a real apology or thankyou because he is not afraid to loose her.

The restrictions of quarantine and the panorama have made Sam's writing very no frills. I wonder how other films from other directors and writers that are filmed in small contained crews like this will be structured. But this was a very good movie gonna add to my letter box 3.3-3.5

Oh shit this is my song,

Ratings/overall thoughts:

Script is like a C+, B- : I could go into my heavier big brain thoughts on the script but I don't feel like it. You catch hints of it above it centers conversation on race and privilege, mainly the writers and questions i have that won't be answered but Sam did make me grow disdain for Malcolm over a short time. Which is sometimes hard to do because im one sympathetic person but the sympathy i have for Malcolm is at 0. Maybe a 2 at some scenes but then it quickly goes back to 0. Some parts of the dialogue miss the mark or hit the are off balanced. While some of it like Malcolm's bathroom speech albeit mean is really strong or their conversation when he comes back from peeing really shines for me.

Performances: B+ to A- because they carried the script further than it could of gone with less talented actors. The monologues do well to showcase their current skill levels which are already high af and leave room for anticipation in where these actors go next.

Zendaya holding a knife: A+ with a gold star. That switch on and off and on is delectable.

John being a shitty boyfriend but following Marie like a lost puppy: B+ with a good job written at the bottom of the paper, Malcolm being nervous a frantic dialed up with more realistic nervousness would have sold me completely on Malcolm's anxious waiting.

Cinematography: A and a participation award.

The mac and cheese: A+ for the easy mac. Wish it was like Annie's or Velveeta.

Cigarettes: Participation award and their picture hung up for student of the month. Why the grill lighter? Everytime Malcolm opened up his mouth Marie was like sparks fly.

The music: A++ with a prize. Whoever picked the music probably makes good Spotify playlists.

[drinkyourfuckingmilk]

Do you have an opinion on the whole Johnny Depp and AH situation? Would you be willing to share it? I think it's a shame that despite all evidence he has against her, he's still being torn down. People really don't think men can be victims.

yeah I do but Im always hesitant to express it because the narrative in the mainstream media is so negligent and still very much supportive of her despite actual evidence, and we absolutely live in a world where abuse against men isn’t taken seriously. that’s not just me repeating hot takes from online sources, I chose to do research topics in criminology at uni on abuse against men and the fact is, is that the way we raise and perceive masculinity means its very rarely taken seriously when a man comes forward and says he’s been sexually, physically or emotionally abused - particularly by women. 

there is also something to be said - and I have NEVER been a conspiracy theorist - but AH dated elon musk who has incredible wealth and influence over the media, and that the judge who decided the recent libel case between the two actually had personal and professional connections to AH’s own lawyer and LITERALLY said “it is not relevant whether AH assaulted JD” in his fucking ruling - this all means JD has not received unbiased judgement or justice in this case. 

I think that there is a fuckton of evidence against AH (actual recorded audio evidence), and corroborated and unbiased evidence against her that shows she is a consistent liar, abuser and toxic person including evidence that shows she is physically abusive towards her own sister and a previous romantic partner - she also blatantly stole the story of her former personal assistants rape experience to use for her own benefit. 

while there is a history with johnny depp of him losing his temper, its always been at inanimate objects (trashing a hotel room, slamming cabinet doors) or any actual physical assault alleged against him has been disproved by countless eyewitnesses. and every single character references for him shows he’s never been abusive towards another romantic partner. and I think that’s key. typically, in criminology and in statistics easily accessible by the public, a man doesn't just become suddenly physically violent against romantic partners at the age of like, what was it? in his 50s-60s? 

there’s ALWAYS a history of that abusive behaviour because its a chronic, behavioral pattern. JD has none of that. AH does. and I’ve had people message me and use a harshly worded text JD sent about AH to a friend where he uses vulgar language and violent ideas about her as proof he’s abusive. a shitty text written about an abusive ex isn't abuse. I’ve sent plenty of horrifically worded texts about fuckwit exes in the heat of anger. who hasn't? it doesn't make you abusive to the person themselves. who hasn't, in anger, wished horrible death and violence internally or in conversation with friends about exes who have profoundly hurt them? you can express these feelings as a means of venting anger in a safe place with friends - that’s entirely different from acting out those thoughts on the person themselves. 

basically; I completely believe JD is innocent of being an abusive person. because I didn't just take the media at face value, I have been actively reading all of the court transcripts. JD and his witnesses are consistent and supported by audio and video evidence. AH consistently changes her stories, her witnesses are much fewer, inconsistent, and are now no longer her friends. it speaks volumes. 

I still very much support the idea of believing victims at face value when they speak up. but I think, like anything in the world, its never black and white, and that grey area is that we need to be more thoughtful and considerate of men when they say they have been abused. because almost fucking nobody takes them seriously. 

because thus far, in light of INSANE amounts of evidence against AH, people will either deny it completely, or they’ll say “okay well then they were equally abusive to each other”. no, they weren’t. even in the audio tapes you have AH admitting to being violent and refusing to promise she wont become violent again, while NEVER saying to JD that he was ever violent towards her which you’d expect in a mediated conversation - and JD frequently says he insists on leaving situations where she becomes physically violent. he actively and repeatedly says in audio convos with her that she is violent towards him, and he HAS to leave the situation because its not appropriate. I’ve known physically abusive people - they dont leave a physically violent situation, they escalate it with their own violence. crim stats show the same. this is not mutual abuse to me. 

so yeah. I support JD in this, not because I’m a JD stan because I’m really by practice not a die hard JD fan, but because the evidence shows he is innocent, and having experienced forms of abuse myself, I know how important it is for victims to get justice or at least be heard. honestly fuck AH, she is a toxic horrible person from all accounts. 

if anyone would like to actually investigate this case beyond mainstream media, here are links to the court transcripts of both sides and of the audio evidence. 

court transcripts: https://www.nickwallis.com/depp-trial

audio evidence: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCg0C-N_MPYYOXyF4T3jMxNQ/videos

EDIT: another key thing from the audio tapes is that AH is CLEARLY not afraid of JD. A person who has been physically or emotionally abused is meek, reassuring and placating to their abuser. She is not. At all. He is the one who seems to submissive and mediating in the conversation. Accusatory but still willing to smooth it out which in my experience is characteristic of an abuse victim who is sick of the bullshit but just wants the bullshit to stop.

[oikawaplssteponme]

original request: @bakugousmymassa Hi willow🥺❤️❤️ ok so this has been on my mind for so long and I hope it makes sense. Ok so bakugou x fem reader and like yk she’s simping for him through manga/anime little does she know he’s doing the same thing is his world. And like they start thinking about each other and it comes through in the manga/anime and like they somehow find a way to communicate through it and like their love/simping becomes so strong that she randomly pops up in the common room and the bakusquad/class 1a is like 👁👄👁 and like they kiss or whatever Ik it’s long and weird but like omg I can’t get it out my mind sorryyy😭😭

pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x fem! reader

warnings: some swear words

genre: fluff, a bit angsty

a/n: thank you so much for the request bb! i added my own twist to it so i hope you like it!!

finally done with all my inbox requests!! 99% of them were bakugou in which i had zero complaints. i am here for all your bakugou needs 🤩i got a bit carried away with writing this so that’s why im letting it have it’s own moment☺️ i loved writing this and i would love to hear your thoughts on it (reblogs are greatly appreciated too🧡) enjoy xx

•

It was your favorite bookstore. It was where you bought your first manga. It was where you found a love for all these complex characters and incredible storylines. This bookstore seemed to satisfy every craving you had in regards to a 2D boy to fawn over. So there was no surprise that when you strolled into the bookstore, you headed straight to where the My Hero Academia mangas were.

You had read them all, even watched the anime. For some reason, you just kept coming back. You couldn’t get enough.

Something on the bookshelf had caught your attention. Among the original mangas, there was one lone book, different from the rest. You stared at the cover. It had your favorite character on it, keeping you intrigued. You had never seen this one before. Was it a side story? Was it a new release? If so, why would there only be one? Out of your own curiosity, you decided to buy it.

You handed the bookstore cashier the manga and your money. They looked at you, simply smiling.

“Is Katsuki Bakugou your favorite?” they asked.

“Yeah, he is,” you smiled. They handed you the book.

“Unfortunately there are no returns on this special edition. I guess you’ll be stuck with him,” they said. You chuckled, taking their comment as a joke.

“I’m okay with that.”

~

Once you were home, you sat down on your couch and pulled out the book, opening it up.

“What the…”

The pages were blank. The entire book had nothing in it. No words, no drawings, just plain white paper.

“How can you sell an empty book?” you groaned. You thought you had wasted your money on this. You set the book down, staring at the blank page angrily.

Suddenly, one spot of ink appeared on the page. Then more. Your eyes grew as the pages created their own drawing in the corner.

“This isn’t happening…”

You stared at the drawing, stunned.

“What kind of idiot buys a book before opening it first,” read the text bumble. On the page was a drawing of Katsuki Bakugou, his arms crossed with his classic smirk.

“H-How did you just…”

Another drawing began to appear next to the original.

“What? Never seen a self-drawing manga before? Come on dumbass, keep up with me here.”

You couldn’t believe your eyes. Bakugou was talking to you, through a manga.

“B-But you’re not real… you’re just a drawing…”

“Sure I’m a drawing right now, just as you are a drawing on my end. Doesn’t make me or you any less real.”

“Why are you talking to me… how did you find me?”

“Well, how did you find out about me?”

“I read about you in my mangas and I watch your show…”

“Then there is your answer gorgeous. I do the same.”

“I’M A CHARACTER IN A MANGA?” Your brain couldn’t seem to process everything that was happening.

“Of course you are. Damn, you aren’t the brightest…”

“B-But then how did I get your book? Anyone could have bought it.”

“Well me and Shitty Hair figured out a way to leave something behind for you. So that’s how you can talk to me through the book,” explained Bakugou.

“This isn’t happening...this is a lot to process right now. You’re like my dream guy but you’re supposed to be fictional and I’m not entirely sure what to do with all this new information,” you sighed.

“I can explain better in person.”

“I’m sorry, what-”

“Go grab a pen.”

“Bakugou-”

“Go grab a pen Y/N.”

You did as you were told, grabbing the nearest pen.

“Okay now what?”

“Go to a new page and draw yourself, like how I am,” Bakugou instructed. You were skeptical but did it anyway. You created a small box and drew yourself, resembling a manga panel.

“Now write your location as ‘in the common area’.”

“This has to be some kind of fever dream…”

“Just do it dumbass.”

You carefully wrote your desired location.

“Okay now what?”

“I’ll see you later dumbass,” smirked Bakugou. Your eyes grew.

“What- no you can’t just leave-”

“Bye nerd.”

No new panel appeared. You sighed, still in shock.

“There’s no way that was real…”

You set the manga down and laid on your back. You felt a wave of exhaustion come over you. You yawned, slowly falling asleep.

~

“Be quiet, you’re gonna wake her up!”

“How did she even get here?”

“Do you think Bakugou would be mad if I asked her out?”

“It’s not like she would say yes…”

“HEY-”

“Shit I think she’s awake....”

You felt groggy. As if you had been sleeping for days. You slowly started to open your eyes. People-like figures hovered around you.

“Back up, give her some space…”

You sat up, rubbing your eyes. The room was bright. The yellow-tinted walls and green floor caught your attention.

“Where am I…”

“UA High! A prestigious academy made for creating the world’s best Heroes!”

“Wait… Iida?”

“Correct!”

You soon realized what had happened. You looked around to all the familiar faces.

“Iida, Deku, Jirou, Kaminari, Momo, Mina, Kirishima, Todoroki…”

“Damn you’re good!” smiled Denki. You couldn’t believe it. You had some how made your way into your favorite story.

“Am I in the anime?”

“What anime?” asked Todoroki.

“Our anime! Or manga whichever you prefer!” smiled Deku.

“This has to be a dream, right?”

“How? You just woke up?”

“Todoroki it was a rhetorical question…”

“Oh…”

“Um where is Bakugou?” You asked. Everyone smiled.

“He’s waiting outside. You can go meet him,” explained Kirishima. You gulped. It’s not every day you get to come face to face with your fictional crush. Well, not so fictional now.

“Uh okay…” You stood up from the couch, beginning to make your way out the door. Taking a deep breath, you opened the door.

Bakugou was sitting on the steps of the dorms. His heart was beating out of his chest, though he wouldn’t admit it. He twiddled his thumbs as he waited for you to show up.

“H-Hey…” you whispered. Bakugou perked up, immediately standing up and turning around to face you. He looked at you with widened eyes. The both of you just stared at each other for a bit, fathoming the idea that you were really there. Seeing him on a screen or on a page was nothing compared to seeing him in real life.

“Damn…” he mumbled.

“What?”

“You’re beautiful.”

Even though this was technically your first meeting, the two of you weren’t strangers. You knew everything about each other. The endless admiration through pages seemed to have led you here. Exactly where you were supposed to be.

“How is this even real?” You questioned. Bakugou chuckled.

“You do realize your world isn’t the only one out there. So I had to take you to mine.”

“So I’m like a character you read about?”

“Yeah, just as I am that to you. I read your story just as you read mine. It’s not that complicated.”

“Why me though?”

Bakugou took a step towards you. He smiled, taking your hand.

“Why wouldn’t I take the opportunity to meet someone I’ve always dreamed about?”

Your face got hot as you tried to hold back your smile. You squeezed his hand.

“I’m glad you did.”

“Then let’s go dumbass,” he said. You raised a brow.

“What?”

“Well we have to write the rest of the book, don’t we? Come on, I’ve only got you for 300 more pages,” He explained.

“Wait there’s a limit on this?”

“Don’t worry about that now. Now come on, we’ve got shit to do.”

~

You and Bakugou spent the entire day together. He showed you around Musutafu, introducing you to all his favorite places. He showed you his favorite places to train, his favorite restaurant, where he likes to buy his mangas, and even where he found the book that brought you here.

You couldn’t help but take mental notes while you were with him. His hair was a lot softer than you imagined, and he actually did smell of sweet caramel. His red eyes weren’t intimidating at all, actually, you found them adorable. Bakugou had little patience, which you figured correctly. As you held his hand, he would mumble soft ‘sorry’s’, afraid that his hands were getting sweaty. You reassured him that he was fine. That caused his cheeks to blush.

The two of you sat at a park bench, enjoying the view of the city before you. Your head was rested on his shoulder as you held onto his arm. You couldn’t believe this was real. The boy you spent ages crushing over through a screen actually felt exactly the same. It was better than words.

“I wish there were fireworks,” you said. Bakugou chuckled. He removed his arm from your grip.

“Here. How’s this?”

Bakugou started to create mini-explosions in the palms of his hands, resembling fireworks. You stared at the beautiful sparks. Your smile was contagious. You looked up at him but he was already looking at you. You felt your face turn hot.

“So how many more pages until I’m allowed to kiss you?” blurted out Bakugou. You flinched. The burning in your cheeks grew stronger. You smiled.

“None.”

You grabbed the collar of Bakugou’s shirt and pulled him towards you. You crashed your lips together. He gently cupped your face as he held you close. The way he kissed you was beyond anything you could have ever imagined. His heart was beating out of his chest too. He was looking forward to seeing you in person just as much as you were, maybe more.

You looked at Bakugou. His face flushed pink, a cheeky smile from ear to ear. He wrapped his arm around you.

“Wait I have something for you,” you remembered, “I don’t really know how these work but I thought you could use it too.”

You had handed Bakugou a book, similar to the one he had left for you.

“I just think we deserve another volume,” you grinned. Bakugou kissed the top of your head, taking the book.

“I think so too.”

~

You woke up to the sound of your phone ringing. You stretched and rubbed your eyes. Then you remembered.

“Was I really there?” you mumbled. You tried to orient yourself, still slowly waking up. You reached for the manga that sat on the other side of your couch. You took a deep breath opening it up.

The pages were no longer blank. They instead were filled with perfectly detailed drawings of you and Katsuki Bakugou, following the storyline you had just experienced. You wiped the stray tear from your eye and brought the book to your chest.

“Until next time, Katsuki Bakugou.”

•

[general taglist (form in masterlist) : @lealofsblog @iwaisa @bakugousmymassa @roesaurus @evivn1 @astrooliver @tetsoleil @bokutory @vangoghmusings @moonlightaangel @complimentaryhugsgirl ]

[gaysagainststeve]

you don’t have to post this because i know how any post not demonizing billy gets someone a lot of hate.

ok i’m 2 weeks late but the unending billy hate just.. hurts my soul because it’s never a nuanced conversation. people refuse to admit that even though he’s done and said messed up things, he’s still a victim of abuse. i do blame the duffers for that because all they care about is demonizing him. dacre montgomery tried so hard to focus on billy’s abuse and insecurities and how that resulted in his shitty actions and adopted views from his father. he’s so real. not every abuse victim is overly kind and “docile.” he’s an angry person. victims of abuse can be angry and violent because that’s all they’ve been shown, but that doesn’t mean they “maybe deserve to die.” maybe the deserve a chance to change with proper care. ugh the way stranger things has handled billy’s abuse is so damaging to abuse victims. neil faces no consequences. max’s mother makes no mention of it despite witnessing it. a random basketball player’s abuse can be focused on but not billy’s? the way people say billy is worse than brenner & peter creel! it’s absolutely ridiculous. there’s also this misogynistic, hetnormative way in which antis will say that the only people who like billy are woman who think he’s hot. and don’t get me started on that hate dacre receives for trying to humanize his character and how he’s been ostracized by the duffer brothers. i could talk about this forever lol. anyways, he and steve are in love but the duffers saw that they were too powerful bye.

Dude i also have a whole manifesto about billy. I feel you so hard. Also im not afraid of antis saying anything to me bc i always want to be talking about this even on my streamer side blog lol

What i have to add is my opinion on the fact that ppl call him racist and abusive.

Billy does in season 2 say something implicitly racist saying max shouldn’t hang out with ppl like lucas. But the duffers are cowards that refuse to touch on any racism in the 80s. Im p sure its by the request of caleb who plays lucas, but theyve had characters say the f slur, had episodes about misogyny and yet they refuse to acknowledge the racism lucas may have faced even in passing. Im not saying lucas should be hate crimed but i feel like it would explain why he really wanted to be accepted by the basketball team and obsessed with being popular in season 4.

The duffers never follow up on the racist comment billy made and its not talked about at all in season 3. it is not a reoccurring or central trait to billy. Billys racism is as relevant as the byers dog to the duffers. They forget everything they write.

Also, the way he treats Max is a direct product of his abuse from his father. Anything she does wrong, billy gets punished for. Its a common abuse tactic idk why ppl think billy treats her bad just bc he’s evil. Also like… does anyone call intense fighting between siblings abuse in any other context??

The ppl who say hes the evilest person on the show are hard core projecting their own highschool bully onto him. I saw ppl saying jason was not as bad as billy and jason actually shot at lucas with the intent to kill him when billy pushed him up against a wall aggressively (i think the cast and creators even said this). Jason is the personification of rich white christian heterosexual America and the violence that comes from their ignorance. Billy is literally a poor metal head that gets called gay slurs by his father. Jason has the power of the entire town behind him hunting down the party; billy is just some angry punk with no outlet that finds his little sister in a creepy house with a bunch of boys and a high school senior in the middle of the night.

I for sure get not liking billy but idk how it became so extreme and mainstream. It used to be just infighting in the fandom but now its all over tiktok and hating him is The Opinion to have.

I think it might be because the show is so black and white about whether or not a character is good or evil and people can’t handle that billy has any complexity at all.

Also is it a crime for a man to be attractive? Ppl will crucify you if you don’t have a moral reason for liking a character istg. Maybe he’s the only character on that show that has any depth AND has a fat ass??? Ever think of that??

Thanks for sending this ask!!

[piningeddiediaz]

its so funny because maggie said oh there wont be pynch or relationship stuff in the trilogy (imo its not relationship drama, i mean yes, ronan was kind of acting shitty and he needs to talk to adam and apologise, but thats not really relationship drama...) but just like.... how HUGE of a part adam is playing and like you said, not in the crappy way of "oh my life only revolves around adam/ronan" no, they both love and respect each other so much that they want the best for the other and support each other, and they can have their education or jobs purpose whatever while still finding themselves and figuring out the future and be in a relationship and figure it out together. they clearly love each other and want the future together. i just always am amazed at how huge of a part maggie let adam play in a very respecting and enjoyable and realistic way and that ronans future is adam anyway ugh ok bye gonna cry now

I dont remember if I every replied to this but its sitting on my drafts for ages so if I havent im sorry this is so late!! 

I mean honestly I cant believe we fell for that. of course she is going to say that, she wants to keep us in suspense. and I dont know how much of adam's role was planned pre-trc and how much of it was recently, but I remember something she recently said (on reddit? on twitter? idk) about how when she was initially planning the series no one wanted adam in it (which? WHY) and just?? can you imagine that? can you imagine adam not being in the book?? who would drive the plot??) 

fr tho I must admit I did think (hope) that adam would be present more, simply because I didnt think it is in adam's character to know that ronan is in danger or even just missing and not do whatever he can to save him. I mean, this is adam parrish we are talking about. he sacrificed his autonomy (the most valuable thing to him) to save his friends, he complained against his dad despite knowing it will leave him homeless and ruin everything he has planned to save ronan, he came up with the plan to save gansey minutes after being possessed by a demon and undergoing several very traumatic experience all in one go. so I saw two options: either adam is very present in the book (despite mstief keep saying he won't be) or adam goes against his entire character by basically not giving a shit. but maggie found a pretty good middle ground and I was very pleasantly surprised. (im sorry I went completely off track there I dont even remember what my main point was)

in terms of the relationship drama, oh boy do I have things to say. so much to say. but the bottom line is exactly what you said. I define relationship drama as "I am confused I dont know what I want im not sure if I want you, you're not sure if you want me" and lots of miscommunication and misunderstandings. I dont really think it's any of that in this case. they know they love each other. they're at a crossroads because ronan thinks adam not supporting him or trusting bryde is personal, but it's a simple enough issue to solve once ronan is ready to listen. he wasn't in mi - even if he hadn't disconnected the call and adam had managed to explain everything, I dont think Ronan would have still understood it. some things you need to figure out for yourself, and ronan's arc is about exactly that. they're idiots but they'll get there.

and essentially, isn’t that what a good relationship is supposed to be? you cant ever solve your partner’s problems, and no matter how much you might love each other just that is not enough. their love for each other is never in doubt, but ronan’s self-love is. I think that lace chapter is a very good illustration of that. ronan knows he wants a future with adam, but he also knows he wants a future where that isnt just the night wash and the hiding who he is and being constantly afraid that he’s one wrong move away from wiping out half his family.  and though his love for adam or his want of a future with him doesnt waver, at this point ronan doesnt think that he gets to keep both futures. he thinks he has to choose one, because he cant ask adam to give up his future instead. what kind of future can he give adam with this new purpose he has? and also he knows adam won’t approve, and he needs adam to. I dont think that is relationship drama. more like ‘deep rooted issues that have been there for years but I have been denying but now im being forced to face them and I need to do this alone’. I have absolutely no doubt they’re going to find their way back to each other because otherwise what is the point. the idea of adam being the future ronan is working towards has been iterated too much for them to break up. neither of them are defined by their relationship obviously, but the way ronan’s arc has been set up there is no feasible way Maggie can give ronan a happy ending without adam being there too. 

[retarded-faggot]

What do you think of Adrien Agrest?

Thanks for the ask!

Though, if you were expecting one of the deep answers people give on a character, I'm afraid mine isn't like that ... *nervous grin *

Now, to answer your question... I like Adrien's character very much! Like, the insight on his character and the development (it's not that much, but I'll take what we get!) throughout the season 4 episodes we've gotten so far? AMAZING! And, I'll admit, when I saw the first 3 seasons (i saw them before any of the COVID 19 special or the HM theme song or the specials were released), I thought of Adrien Agreste only as a Love Interest of Marinette (and, well, a mayybe boyfriend of Kagami - Adrigami was not confirmed back then) and a supportive partner of Ladybug... even in the fanfics I made up in my mind, I did it from Marinette's perspective...But I loved his fighting style then! Like, have you seen his moves in the show? PAWESOME! And, well, I went along with the Post S3 finale fanfictions I got, so you get what my opinion was of him back then...It was all, "he's a sunshine boy with a shitty father, but is still cheerful and very supportive of Ladybug, and understands the stress and pressure she gets," and all that stuff... But I never, ever, thought of him as a too pushy person , ya know, regarding his pursue of Ladybug's love...That was one part of his development in these seasons...

His pushiness(?) reduced, he became more supportive...

Then him asking for permission to call her M'lady, and respecting her boundaries in Glaciator 2? That tells a lot about his thoughtfulness and character growth...I know some people think the ending scene cancelled that growth out, but he said he'd be more like how he behaves as ADRIEN, not the too flirty boy(if u get what i mean) ... Him being Cat Noir means him being carefree... a little flirty, yes, jocular, punny, n all... but to keep up the appearences, he did it too much sometimes... That was what he realised then... he realised he was to be BOTH Adrien and Cat Noir, he was one. He decided to behave as Adrien, more... He did not say he would pursue her... he said maybe she'd fall in love with him then...so.. if she doesn't love him, he'll leave it at that (at least, thats what i understood).

In Hack-San, well, he tried to Cataclysm Scarabella, yes (No, im not excusing that with anything , but thats not the point here) , but then he came around, and helped her, supported her, and understood her... (her= Scarabella )

Then in Rocketear, he's hurt because he accepted himself as BOTH, Adrien Agreste and Cat Noir, and Nino thinking that half of him is annoying, (well- u get what i mean-)hurts... and he also shows emotional maturity by not lashing out on LADYBUG but venting out his feelings by cataclysming a pillar (ok, still not that healthy and ideal, but the boy is getting there, give him some time!)...

Well, I have a loot more to say, n a lot more to elaborate on the above points, but I'm afraid I don't have much time

Sorry the above thing became a rant! I know it's not that organized ! I'm kinda bad at telling my opinion on things * nervous grin *

(And, please, NO HATE... this is just MY opinion)

[tinysatansierra-blog]

Markiplier manor is toxic here’s why

So Markiplier manor (Markipliers official discord server) has gotten a surplus of new people in it, this happened a few weeks ago the manor itself though has been up for awhile. originally a members only server it was eventually opened up for everyone and yes there are alot of genuinely good people and the mods are alright but unfortunately its becoming a toxic environment. 

SO EDIT i have discussed with the mods that being said ... im keeping this up as a reminder of we can do better we can help people who are struggling through something instead of shutting them down we can listen to people who are being oppressed and bravely point out new media that only worsens that oppression and stigmatization and not just the mods who i was kind of harsh towards but who are human everyone as a community can do better and this is a large community think of the work we can do just doing the basics like boycotting problematic content and helping those who cry out for it who need it (and noticing and shutting down manipulative/toxic behaviors) ... i dont know if im going to go back to the manor yet tho im going to let this sit give it a week yall can agree or disagree but know that if you try to be an ass your going to get shut down and your feelings are going to get hurt 

lets start with the basics “triggering topics” triggering topics can be anything in particular but it generally means a topic that relates to another persons trauma. Now while it is important to acknowledge a persons trigger words and try to keep the conversation respectable ive also noticed people use it to shut down people who come on freaking out because their dealing with a stressful situation/something traumatic just happened. This has happened to me personally and to a friend with me it was about being pro choice and having to in short make that actual choice. i was discussing this in the bathroom because i (like anyone else who comes in with baggage) did not know about any pro choice discords at that moment and was afraid of being stigmatized or going onto a discord that says its a safe space only for it to be filled with trolls. Mark manor is labeled as a safe space and many people come on there looking for support with me no one told me that the topic was triggering to them (which apparently it was because a friend of theirs had to make the choice not her herself think what you will) they just went to a mod early on when i just found the server as a member a friend (who i wont name) had gotten.... assaulted majority of her werent online and as someone who has been there and yes when she told me it did trigger my own trauma she needed moral support... the mod shut her down and deleted her comments and didnt give her a pointer to any other discord where she could discuss the topic openly and get moral support and be pointed to resources (it actually took me ten minutes to find and confirm a lgbtq therapy chat earlier this year for another individual discussing mental health) this was before i had gotten on for that day but i noticed those messages and i contacted her when she told me what was up yea it triggered my memories and its not fun but I FUCKING HELPED HER i made sure she went to the police to atleast file a statement (while the police dont always help it is good to have it on file) i even made her a plush and shipped it out to her and i would do it again and again because its not good to basically tell another person to shut up because it triggers others not without atleast trying to help them find another fucking place and making sure their actually ok and in a physical safe place  next is them claiming the manor is a “safe space” a safe space is by definition  “ a place or environment in which a person or category of people can feel confident that they will not be exposed to discrimination, criticism, harassment, or any other emotional or physical harm.” you would also think that the manor would be a safe space in the fact that marginalized and oppressed groups of people would be able to point out problematic content and have an open and free discussion about it and how it makes them uncomfortable. especially people of lgbtq community which alot of people in that chat are. yesterday (and this was what caused me to officially turn away from the server) in the patio (which is the members only chat) a Transgender individual pointed out the problematic content that is huniepop and how it fetishizes trans people as well as other minorities now this game i hear tries to make itself out as a “parody” .... its not its a sexual dating sim what would make it a parody is if sex noises were replaced with donkey sounds and the lewd pictures were replaced with poorly drawn doodles of tits or what have you its a game for incels marks hilarious when he plays it because he doesnt take the game seriously my issue isnt with him its with the developer. and if you did not know (which apparently people dont) the character poli is described as “a girl with a dick” the individual pointed this out because they felt like it dehumanizes them and paints them as nothing more than a fetish... and also apparently you can “choose” is poli is trans which kind of gives off the message that people can ignore trans peoples identity if it makes them uncomfortable... or if they dont sexualize them. and the muslim community is more or less in the same boat i come from the bible belt in usa im not muslim i am not trans but i do have a reason for standing with both and i will get to that in a bit so i was raised in a christian household in a christian setting like muslim women were basically told we cannot have sex and any sexual thought is sinful and we will be punished blah blah blah your even more closeted if your gay or bi because then you can face ... violence that being said to make the woman from the middle east hyper sexual like they did is kind of shitty even for a incel pleasing sex game. the individual who thought it would be ok to discuss this in the server because its labeled as a safe space and is generally “lgbtq” friendly thus believing he would have people agree and discuss ... was unceremoniously shut down by their peers and a mod was notified this person was not hostile maybe a bit frustrated because he wanted to talk about it and thought he would have this genuinely helpful conversation and people would listen and spread the word because to have problematic content be popular can isolate the oppressed group even more so WHEN NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO THEM. if a group of marginalized people notice something problematic with content and you claim to be an ally of said group then you need to acknowledge and support what they say. they told him to go to twitter where he could potentially be bullied and written off ... because again its an INCEL PLEASING SEX GAME.(which means incels if you ever dealt with them will go and say anything to justify the game even using slurs and bullying) and to put the icing on the cake to change the topic they brought up robin ... i actually dont know who robin is as i dont really focus much on youtube creators personal stuff (it feels off for me to not personally know an individual but know their personal stuff without having actually talking to them its weird i know its a thing i have in my head) but apparently they recently came out as female and good for them im super proud of him and the patio members were discussing how they were proud of him as well for beginning to wear makeup and making themselves more feminine which would be great if they werent trying so hard to shut down the trans male who was trying to spread awareness on problematic stuff .... something he pointed out ... and something they gaslighted and said he was being hostile. really its almost as if they only care about trans issues when its someone famous discussing them  so what can we possibly do about huniepop being transphobic and the answer is very easy BOYCOTT IT like... yall were up in arms and boycotted jk rowling with snap and a turn do we only cancel the old and ugly? do we only cancel those who we dont think is funny? mark is not at fault he probably doesnt realize it and any comments made on the issue are talked down upon or drowned amongst other comments im not saying to cancel him im saying to cancel the game HARD. ignore the posts bitch at the dev demand refunds for your game. like consumers have infinitely more power than corps want to admit.  so you basically have a community that claims to be a safe space but only if you want to talk about sunshine and rainbows and its highly hypocritical of them to claim safety.  another thing is emotionally abusive/manipulative people hide in the server and the mods dont ever seem to acknowledge it. i cannot tell you how many times ive gotten into arguments with people who seems nice then turn into assholes then claim to be the victim when i or others go off on them. if you recognize my name you know i dont stand down when it comes to having a snarky or rude comment thrown at me if your going to be an ass were fighting i dont care how nice you seemed beforehand and you dont get to call a mod just because i actually stood up for myself or others sorry not sorry dont be a bitch nuff said.  now why would i care so much about problematic content? why would i care and stand by the transgender and muslim people (aside from being ya know... an actual ally and not someone who claims it for sympathy and brownie points?) its because i am autistic i am also able to function well on my own but there is a movie created by the famous singer sia it is called music it is a movie frowned upon by the autisitic community because infantizes and dehumanizes non verbal autistic people i am fortunate and unfortunate in not having to deal with much stigma unfortunate because i wasnt diagnosed until i was 17 alot of answers about my behavior could have been answered if i had been diagnosed earlier but considering society loves the quiet timid female and i functioned “well” for neurotypicals i was ignored. so yea you bet your ass im standing with them and raising awareness about huniepop and their was this one person when i mentioned this point i cant remember there name nor to do i give a shit about them because when i mentioned how autistic people ... how i was in the same boat with music by sia (again i advise that no one target the actress who was under contract target sia and please boycott her so she knows she cant get brownie points or money for a movie that stigmatizes who she claims she wants to “help” (*cough* profit off of *cough cough*) and only serves as a feel good movie for neurotypicals and ignorant people)  they said “i heard people who hated the movie i heard people who found it alright people are ALLOWED to like problematic content” ... and like ... does anyone else see the problem here? its not hard at all to boycott celebrities for making content  and im going to repeat this point  IF A GROUP OF MARGINALIZED, STIGMITIZED AND OPPRESSED PEOPLE CALL OUT SOMETHING FOR BEING PROBLEMATIC AND YOU CLAIM TO BE AN ALLY YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM AND DONT SHUT THEM DOWN I DONT GIVE A SHIT YOU DONT HAVE A FUCKING EXCUSE. if you cant bring yourself to boycott a piece of media and replace it with the infinitely more suitable forms that supports the group you claim to be for your not an ally your a fucking hypocrite  and that is why i left markiplier manor i am still a youtube special ... thingy member and i will continue to be a member to support mark i want people to overall listen to those who speak up against a creator and a piece of media and listen to us all no matter how “good” something seems. .. also there is a video called listen it was created by nonverbal autistic people  and communicationFIRST a group that sia apparently communicated with for her movie... and then ignored  https://youtu.be/H7dca7U7GI8

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-23

More homestuuuuuck

I’m a little tired today so I don’t expect much intelligent analysis out of myself, but if anything classpecty happens I doubt I’ll be able to help myself regardless.

oh, always

(EDITS: added note on horn colors, link to ask on potential Blood powers reference)

> CHAPTER 12. Really Convoluted Metaphorical Horseshit

cuuute

In the bowels of a different ship, at a moment in time that is not pinpointable in either direction from the previous interaction, another Dave raps quietly to himself.

another dave raps quietly to himself.  i am glad that phrase exists it brings me joy

(LATER EDIT: A friend on Discord pointed out that throughout this entire update, Karkat's horns are #FF0000 red. They were normal candy-corn colors in previous glimpses at the ship crew, though they used a dark single-color shortcut typical of old Homestuck at one point... but THIS time it stays STARK red even when we zoom in close later. Is this just artistic liberty? Did Karkat color his horns for fashion? Does this happen to red-bloods like the Sufferer after a certain age? Just how much time has actually passed, here? We might have to wait for the commentary for this one.)

KARKAT: I WAS SAYING I THOUGHT WE MIGHT GO, I DUNNO, ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE ENTIRE SHIP WHILE THE CLOTHES WERE WASHING. KARKAT: SEEING AS THIS DECREPIT MACHINE WE WERE SO BLESSEDLY PROVIDED WITH MAKES A WHIRRING SOUND SO PANCHAFINGLY ARHYTHMIC THAT IT THREATENS TO ERADICATE THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF TEMPO FROM THE UNIVERSE.

Karkat really has chilled out hasnt he?  like this is surprisingly level for him, and that fact is hilarious.

KARKAT: AND YET SOMEHOW BASICALLY ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE WE STARTED THE LOAD IS THAT YOU’VE BEEN USING IT AS A FUCKED UP BEAT TO WHISPER TO YOURSELF ABOUT FLOWERS TO.

oh gosh that’s why he’s rapping

> ==>

DAVE: kanaya was telling me this kids story the other day about this dude who didnt cherish a flower enough until it peaced out to do flower stuff idk its not pertinent to the story DAVE: except the flower was a person DAVE: because it was a metaphor

Oh right, coming back to the Little Prince stuff I was too lazy to metaphor-deep-dive into, and literally asking the same questions we were asking about who the Little Prince’s story applies to mapped here if anyone at all, like Dirk and such, or what biases were in the retelling of it and the way Kanaya phrased it.  So now we’re practically mocking it by deep diving it here, hence the last page’s “DAVE: i was just thinking through some really convoluted metaphorical horseshit”, which means we’re both about to further explore AND shit all over the existence of this story metaphor until it doesn’t mean anything and most of the meaning we drew from it earlier is made a joke~

well, not “we”, cause I was too lazy, so... y’all

DAVE: anyway what goes down in the story is that once the flower lady is out of the picture DAVE: the main character goes around making all these connections between her and everything else in the universe until every damn thing feels like a symbol for how much he fucked up and how much he will never see her again KARKAT: THIS SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING INTENSE FOR A KID'S STORY DAVE: yea thats pretty much what i said

Oh holy shit.  That’s yet another way to put it.  Are we doing a whole moral takedown of the Light aspect today?  cause it sounds like we’re taking a dump on the Light aspect and RoboRose getting too obsessed and immersed in it, which would be excellent

DAVE: but i guess its not so much what the story was technically textually about but more like the version of it kanaya internalized and then told me when we were talkin about how she misses rose

exactly

DAVE: so like now im taking the story she told me she was projecting her feelings onto and projecting my feelings on top of that

yes absolutely, you just rephrased it a different way with that exact same bias

DAVE: this is just one big game of emotional projection telephone so feel free to go paraphrase it to roxy later and make it about whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing

perfect. i need an emoji for that Italian thing for when you pinch your thumb and forefinger together and kiss it

ah this’ll do:

its like the expression “choice” but in nonverbal form

[...] whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing KARKAT: YOUR ABILITY TO GET TO THE POINT DAVE: gotem DAVE: anyway you’re not gonna have to miss that skill of mine for long DAVE: get ready for this shit because i am about to slap you with the point so hard youll fall ass first into the washer DAVE: just scrambling around in there getting all sudsy DAVE: but your brain is gonna be so blasted from the mindfreak of a point im about to make that there wont be anything left to clean

Anytime dave is told to get to the point he is contractually obligated to spend at least 20 seconds talking about how he’ll get to the point in a way that is not getting to the point

DAVE: so its genuinely cool that kanaya can go around creating meaning that may or may not be actually present in every little thing DAVE: connecting every feeling she has to the idea of her wife existing out there DAVE: so i told her she should keep that shit up DAVE: but im having the opposite issue where im struggling to find anything to be that kind of tether because every single thing i could possibly consider about what it is were doing just reminds me of yet another thing to be afraid about

Great examples of Light being good and bad!  Attaching strands of connective meaning to everything.  --though, in Dave’s case AND Kanaya’s case you could argue it’s both bad in terms of effects.  That it’s great for Kanaya to care, but that she should be able to divest herself and live on her own terms without idealizing Rose literally everywhere she looks, personal growth which would be useful in helping bring Rose back to her in the first place.  The struggle they’re looking forward to is largely philosophical, not just physical, and until Rosebot acknowledges that she was wrong it’s not over.

DAVE: everything fuckin sucks huge cosmic donkey sack and im terrified KARKAT: OK, SO I FEEL LIKE YOU SKIPPED A COUPLE NECESSARY STEPS IN YOUR POINT CLARIFICATION PROCESS.

Pretty sure Dave was on the same page as most Epilogue and start-of-HS2 readers.  This situation is pretty bleak to dump our heroes into, no matter how much we believe will be resolved in the long run.

DAVE: ok but were you going with sweet or savory please give me that much at least KARKAT: YEAH IT WAS GOING TO BE SUNDAE-BASED. DAVE: nice KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: DO YOU WANNA WATCH MORE GBBO AFTER THIS? DAVE: absolutely

--ah, Great British Bake-Off, can’t say I’ve indulged

do they still have that?? did they save it from old Earth?  or did they go where unflooded Britain used to be and say hey, new show reboot

KARKAT: GREAT. ANYWAY, LIKE I WAS SAYING, FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET HUMAN CHRIST, PLEASE BACK UP TO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU’RE ACTUALLY SCARED OF. KARKAT: ALSO COME HERE, IDIOT.

That last line is like, exactly as fucking sweet and awesome as we imagined their relationship to be.  :)

> ==>

OH MY GOD THAT’S ADORABLE

DAVE: ok yeah this is a better position to unleash all my inner fears n anxieties from

indisputably.

DAVE: those times its like my mouth was saying words about the situation wherein our friends are AWOL and maybe dead but my brain wasnt fully letting me experience the emotion that goes along with them DAVE: man its like i cant even start genuinely thinking about how afraid i actually am for rose and john without my brain flippin its wad and whiting out DAVE: like haha fuck i hope theyre ok DAVE: now i better make a fuckin joke before i succumb to the gaping mouth of despair waiting for me to fall in it as soon as i look down and acknowledge that its there ogling how juicy my ass looks as it trembles with terror

I really hope that the writers of HS2 know full well that this feeling? the one Dave is describing here? is what many of us who got way overinvested in the well-being of Homestuck’s surviving characters felt reading the Epilogues and Homestuck^2.  So I really hope they’re working through it in a way that will result in a preponderance of GOOD THINGS happening and hope-filled situations.  Cause that “can’t even think about X” feeling is too familiar, and if they understand it as well as it LOOKS like they’re getting to, I’d really like them to give us a helping hand healing.

I think that’s what they’re going for?  Seems hopeful for me to think so, but they HAVE been doing better as HS2 has been going forward, from an emotional standpoint anyway; definitely better than the Epilogues.  And I’ve worked through some of that stuff with the help of that, because it’s MUCH easier nowadays to think about Homestuck without my gut clenching.

DAVE: i guess im just fucked up about how to worry about dirk and be angry at him at the same time DAVE: because if i get as unholy pissed at him as i sometimes wanna be i also gotta admit to myself that maybe i coulda done something different there

Mhmm, Karkat’s potentially a pretty good person to speak with here since he’s done so much work trying not to feel responsible for everything that’s ever gone wrong.

DAVE: also like DAVE: and this by the way adds a whole other layer of guilt on there that i dont really know how to fuckin reckon with but DAVE: even with all the shit hes pulled and the fact that we are more or less heading toward having to take him down DAVE: whatever that is gonna mean and whether or not he planned it like that DAVE: i just DAVE: me and him had come so far with each other and it was really cool for a while to have him and i DAVE: ugh DAVE: i dont WANT to hate him

Yeah, Dirk and Jane’s heel-turns were really shitty for anyone who was a fan of them in the fanbase, as well.

KARKAT: WELL THEN QUIT FUCKING PICKING AT THE SEAM ON MY SHORTS AND SPIT IT OUT. THEY'RE BARELY HANGING ON TO THE DEFINITION OF "SHORTS" AS IT IS.

That is an adorably real boyfriend-laying-in-boyfriend’s-lap thing to do

DAVE: the part i mentioned before about how we really have no goddamn clue how long this trip is even gonna take DAVE: i cant help but feel like its barely getting revved up DAVE: and for me and roxy and jade and callie and kan thats normal shit at best and boring at worst but we all have our immortality to thank for that DAVE: we can just dick around in space for near-eternity waiting to catch up to our friends who may or may not be our enemies now and itll be fine DAVE: i mean no itll be categorically miserable DAVE: but well survive it KARKAT: HOLD THE FUCK ON. DAVE: but you KARKAT: DAVE. DAVE: no lemme say this

Oh god damnit.  Karkat’s limited lifespan.  As if we hadn’t ALREADY covered a nauseatingly extensive gamut of disheartening topics of conversation.  We really have to confront every shred of misery in their past, present and future one after the other after the other in the Epilogues and HS2, don’t we?  >:(

I guess it had to be discussed, though.

DAVE: we dont talk about it much and i got shit to say about it DAVE: its not like i never thought about how youre mortal before but i just thought wed be able to figure it out before it mattered DAVE: come up with some kind of plan DAVE: i was just distracted being happy with you i fucking guess and so i didnt think up a way to fix it DAVE: and now thanks to dirk we have to work it out right the fuck now DAVE: because i cant spend this trip just sitting around watching you get old and die

Jesus.  I mean, WE know(?) that it’s not gonna be THAT many years, but THEY don’t know that.

Unless it really IS going to be that many years and HS2 is going to shamelessly take a fucking sledgehammer to our feelings for no goddamn good reason.  Which it won’t!  Right???  >:T

> ==>

Dishwasher ding

> Dave: Grapple with the clean, soggy consequences of the passage of time.

Hey, don’t make it a metaphor here. --though, fuck.  I suppose we are dealing with everyones dirty laundry.  God damnit.  SURE, deal with it all story but then GET IT OUT OF THE WAY AND PUT SOME SERIOUS FUN AND LAUGHS IN HERE so we don’t feel like we’re wading through an entire garbage dump!!!  *click*

Karkat’s eyebrows-only mouthless frown is really cute.

> ==>

okay Karkat explain the nope you’re lodging

> ==>

*put*

> ==>

*foot*

> ==>

DAVE: ok go on

I mean I at least appreciate the time investment in adorable boyfriends.  That’s definitely something of SOME good value they’re giving us in exchange for this misery

> ==>

That Karkat image makes me wanna do that red-shaky-gif-thing with it

KARKAT: IT'S NOT LIKE I'M NEW TO THE PARTICULAR MOOBEAST WRANGLING EVENT OF SOMEONE I PREVIOUSLY LOVED BRUTALLY TURNING ON ME AND LEAVING ME TO TRY AND CRAM MY FEELINGS ABOUT THE SITUATION BACK TOGETHER ALL ON MY OWN.

True

KARKAT: HE DID THAT ON HIS OWN. AND WE MADE THE CHOICE TO GO AFTER HIM ON OUR OWN.

Yes, and you’ll possibly convince him more of that over time, though not in this short conversation

KARKAT: I WAS FOLLOWING YOUR LITTLE TRAIL OF COOKIE CRUMB FEARS UNTIL IT LEAD TO THE BIG SNACK FINALE OF WORRY ABOUT MY FRAGILE MORTAL MEATSACK. KARKAT: IF I HAVE SOMEHOW NOT BEEN CLEAR ABOUT THIS WITH YOU YET, LET ME GO AHEAD AND RECTIFY THE SITUATION RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. KARKAT: HANGING OUT WITH YOU ON THIS LONG TRIP TO WHO THE SHITTING FUCK KNOWS WHERE IS QUITE LITERALLY THE HAPPIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY ENTIRE MEAGER EXISTENCE. KARKAT: I'M SO ABSOLUTELY BLISSED THE FUCK OUT OF MY MIND TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT YOUR STUPID IMMORTALLY SMOOTH HUMAN FACE SKIN EVERY DAY AND NOT HAVE A COMPLEX ABOUT IT.

D’AWWW

And with that darkly angry expression too, that’s PERFECT

I mean it’s true.  What exactly would they be doing DIFFERENTLY on Earth C other than enjoying each other like this?  It’s pretty fucking great.

...hm.  Isn’t this journey-not-the-destination stuff pretty Breathy?  Karkat’s proving more balanced by the moment.

KARKAT: AND I'LL BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN EXPERIENCING SOME COMPLICATED GUILT, MYSELF. KARKAT: THE FACT THAT I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE JUST FUCKING CHILLAXING AND BEING IN LOVE IN SPACE IS A CLEARLY INCONGRUOUS WITH THE REASON I'M ACTUALLY HERE CHILLAXING TO BEGIN WITH, AND I'M NOT LETTING MYSELF FORGET THAT, EITHER.

Pff.  He feels guilty for ENJOYING IT so much.  <3

KARKAT: BUT I RESENT THE IMPLICATION THAT MY HAPPINESS IS REGISTERING FOR YOU AS YOU HAVING TO JUST "SIT AROUND AND WATCH ME GET OLD," BECAUSE I KNOW YOU KNOW IT'S MORE THAN THAT.

I’m glad Karkat knows that DAVE knows somewhere in him that it’s more than that, because yeah, if Karkat thought he DIDN’T know that at some level that’d be a reason to take MUCH MORE SERIOUS offense.

KARKAT: LIKE, JESUS, DAVE. YOU KNOW I'M AFRAID FOR YOU, TOO, RIGHT? KARKAT: OR DID YOU FORGET THE WHOLE HEROIC DEATH THING? KARKAT: I WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOU FAIRLY FUCKING REGULARLY.

Hah!!!  Point taken.  Karkat must view Dave as practically more fragile than HIM.

KARKAT: ONE: WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA THAT I REFUSE TO NOT ENJOY THIS SHIT WHEN I FINALLY FUCKING GET IT, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT MAY OR MAY NOT LAST. KARKAT: TWO: IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE DOING NOTHING. WE’RE MOVING. WE’RE WORKING. WE’RE HEADED SPECIFICALLY TO A PLACE WHERE WE WILL UNDOUBTLEDLY ENDURE YET MORE FUCKING HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA. KARKAT: AND THREE: WE'RE DOING THAT BECAUSE WE HAVE FRIENDS WHO WE CARE ABOUT THAT NEED US. THAT IS OUR FOCUS, HERE. NOT OUR FEAR. IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WE HAVE TO SAVE. KARKAT: SO DON'T FUCKING WORRY ABOUT ME, DAVE. I'M FINE.

Okay, this is great and wholesome.  I am now retroactively GLAD that this topic got brought up.  :)

> ==>

Dave is still afraid. There is a part of him that will always be, he thinks. He has accepted this about himself. There is another feeling coursing through him too, though. It’s something he's felt before, though never quite so intensely. He looks up at Karkat and understands, viscerally, the simple power his words have. They pump through Dave’s own body, alive and warm and true.

He wonders if Karkat realizes it, or if he’s just, as always, saying what he feels as he feels it. Dave doesn’t attempt to dissect it further. There will be time for that later.

Every really loving moment like this is sort of undercut by the fact that it’s also, in some senses, part of alt!Calliope’s narration and, by extension, her fanfiction.

EDIT 2: There's also either a hint to potential Blood powers or even an explicit Blood power use here that I didn't recognize. I'm leaning towards it's-laying-the-groundwork-for-future-use-of-Blood-powers-but-isnt-magical-in-this-case.

> ==>

Smooooch!

That was nice.  Still gonna wait on doing any commentary til next time or a Bonus update or two, cause I’m beat.  See y’all next time!

[savrenim]

mx savrenim! mx. savrenim! I have a writing question: Im writing a story about people who can see the future, and I'm wondering how you made it feels more like a memory not like, a gut wrenching tragedy? Its deffo painful, but Im pretty sure you mentioned wanting to give it a happy ending? If so: how. The concept of future vision is so cool but the implications and the way it plays out is horrifying and heartbreaking rip. I just wanna give my characters some chance at a happy ending

gods okay this is a good question that I have a lot of Weird Strong Feelings about bc time is the single thing that I have the strongest opinions about let’s go under the cut

so the thing that makes your question interesting to me-- “how do you make a story with future powers not a gut-wrenching tragedy”-- is that..... to me, at least, there is absolutely nothing inherent in the setup of future-seeing powers that should imply that the story should be a gut-wrenching tragedy? your problem is assuming that there has to be anything tragic involved. free yourself from that perception and you will be free to write whatever you want.

ifmlam is a gut-wrenching tragedy right now because the feeling that I was going for was “hmmmm the exact gut-wrenching feeling that The World Was Wide Enough makes me feel” and it’s having a happy ending because I decided to write a fic bc “goddamnit I need a fix-it, like, right now.” Seeing the future is cool but it’s also just a plot-and-setting device. and the story feels the way it feels because I designed how it works around exactly how I wanted it to feel?

my current other major project, trash novel, is about a seer who hunts down other seers for dramatic stop-the-world-from-devolving-into-war-and-maybe-ending reasons. except the vibes are... SO different. the vibes are “shit there’s like a dozen way way overpowered teenagers and twenty-something-year-olds who hold the fate of the world in their hands except they’re being dumb assess getting overly involved in personal drama with one another and are maybe going to blow up the planet.” and so instead of this quasi-religious worldwide honor around a single Seer and visions of the future that work one particular way and the main character being this poor fragile darling that needs to be protected and the reverence with which the plot treats the usage of future-powers, the main character of the opus series named herself “Fuck You” and has the power to see like ten seconds tops into the future and uses it to be really fucking good at magic fistfighting and accidentally gets involved in trying to take over a foreign/soon to be enemy government while trying to make friends with the ambassador that it’s her mission to protect him and like spy on that government to make sure they’re not messing with the future, but because he’s really pissed off at his ex and his shitty parents kind of for trying to force him to marry his ex and also his entire home country for siding with his ex he decides to take advantage of the fact that Saes thinks that overthrowing a government is maybe appropriate friend bonding activities to Take Revenge. and overthrow the government. meanwhile his cousin just outright admits in her second scene that she is trying to take over the first their government in then the world and is like 90% of the way there and really isn’t trying to hide the fact that she has committed to a plan that makes everyone think she is The Villain but Saes in particular bc Saes doesn’t want her home country to be conquered, but while Saes thinks this makes them moral enemies Asterna thinks that Saes is very hot because Saes is the single person who can beat her in a fistfight. they get into a misunderstanding fake-dating relationship for at ~80k words of the first arc. the ex is also trying to take over the government partially bc he feels the family pressure to continue their influence and partially bc he’s still in love with Luka and wants to try to win him back. at least three main characters have very poorly thought out one-night stands with other characters just for spite. there’s a character whose name is “Godkiller.” 

you can probably tell from the description that it’s very VERY different vibes from ifmlam. there are seers with more longreaching abilities than 10 seconds in the setting, who are trying to use their powers to seriously manipulate outcomes of events, and some deep political implications of that; it’s not all flashy ridiculousness. there are parts of it that get tragic (gods do parts of it get emotional and gods are some of those emotions tragic), but it’s never terribly tragic for very long, and it never feels like a heart-wrenching tragedy as a genre. everyone is a gay mess, extra emphasis on the gay AND the mess, and it reads like ridiculous action drama intrigue almost like a DnD campaign? 

and it’s because of both (a) the seer powers that are being highlighted work differently but also (b) the seer pov character has a fundamentally different perception of themselves. Aaron Burr sees himself as pretty much a McGuffin and he hates it and there’s a large portion of his character and character arc and hence the plot itself that revolves around him not feeling like he has any sort of control over his life or the impact of his powers. he’s afraid of himself and what he can do, he’s afraid of letting people in and being used, he’s afraid of the impact that he or someone wielding him might have on the world, and he doesn’t quite see himself as a person, more like a glass statue of one housing powers -- and that contributes to the tragedy and vastly affects the tone of the whole thing. when the viewpoint character feels helpless, when the viewpoint character doesn’t believe in themselves, when the viewpoint character is pretty much a McGuffin: incredibly powerful and useful to powerful people, but unable to control their own fate -- that gives the story a certain feeling.

Saes Imirin is nothing like Aaron Burr because Saes isn’t afraid of herself. Saes is completely at peace with what she can do, and actually thinks it’s pretty cool. She’s working for the people she’s working for because she’s decided that’s probably where she’ll do the least harm in the world, and also because she likes her apartment. if she changes her mind she changes her allegiance. she has stared down armies and has never really feared for herself, because she’s a fucking badass, and she knows that she can always pick the future where she wins so why should she ever feel afraid.

if you don’t want your characters to feel tragic, then don’t have them be afraid of themselves. don’t have them doubt themselves. but also, construct the way that future-seeing powers work so that they’re not set up to be a tragedy. the biggest being the most important pair of questions: how accurate/specific are the powers? and how unchangeable is the future?

Saes Imirin’s powers are 100% accurate and 100% specific, albeit contained to usually one to three but at most ten seconds. The future is also 100% changeable; the way her powers works is that she sees all possible futures and then physically moves the way that she did in the one where she’s won. Aaron Burr’s powers are..... death visions I’d put at, like.... 90sh % “accuracy”? in that they always show a possible and in fact usually most probable for the timeline we’re on now sort of death for someone. but they’re also very changeable. but time itself has a momentum and “pushes back” against those changes in the plot of ifmlam (someone doesn’t die in one duel will die in another, etc) which lends to a strong feeling of inevitability despite the relative amount of freedom those powers have. 

imo, future-seeing usually lends itself to tragedy when it’s about seeing something terrible/attempting to subvert something that cannot be fixed because it is the future. if you establish early on that all visions/prophecies must come true exactly, that will usually put a fair amount of tension on your plot and it will make things feel tragic, especially if characters end up getting a future that they really really don’t like. the more unchangeable things are, the more it usually tends towards tragedy.

(I say “usually” because, like. I’m still waiting for a story in which future-seeing is absolute and someone gets a prophecy that “and if you choose to go forward and step through this room your fate will be sealed, you will die on this specific day in this exact way and nothing in the universe can change that”, the character goes “cool”, does it, and promptly begins taking advantage of their immortality up until that day to do Utterly Ridiculous Things to become a weird hyper luck-based superhero of, like, “I can jump off this building bc in the vision I was fine and unhurt so I can’t get wounded in any sort of way that’ll make me unable to run and jump around” “I can totally try eating this mystery goo let’s see what it does” “hmmm the enemy fired their superbomb into the heart of our capital guess I just have to sit here next to it so that it will keep malfunctioning in some strange unspecified way and not going off because it can’t kill me here and now my fate is set in stone” etc. just. someone give me that comedy p l e a s e. I’m picturing Monty Python level of shenanigans.)

but yeah, usually, the more set in stone a future is, the more likely a story is to take a turn for the tragic, because when the future isn’t ~set in stone~ prophecies function more as useful warnings that can be interpreted to do useful things and save the day and not terrible foreboding omens of doom. high accuracy with high changeability is a cool superpower. low.... specificity, at least, leads to stories where usually you go “oH SHIIIIIT” afterwards as you get the end and the last thing clicks in place and now the entire plot in hindsight is So Much Different and they only lend themselves to tragedy if they’re useless as warnings and are just “fuck oh THAT’S what it meant and if I understood it I could have changed it”. and then inherent low changeability is both easiest to lend to tragedy and imo the hardest to write because you write yourself into a corner? (and you also make some pretty deep philosophical statements about determinism and free will depending on how you characterize time.) but so long as everyone has a chance to change things, the story won’t feel hopeless.

this has gotten long and rambly bc it’s ungodly o clock in the morning and, like, if the heart of the thesis of your story is “knowing the future is Fucked Up and Fucks You Up” and your story is on the deep seated societal implications about a world where some measure of seeing the future exists, like.... there are ways in which things might be tragic, but there are ways to counter that by making things mundane? a la lightening benders in legend of korra working at electricity plants. having seers with tiny mundane powers and/or who don’t really care about their powers and don’t use them too much or who just think of them as annoying side noise, but at the heart of it, oops stealing also from mob psycho 100 bc oops I just rewatched it and am mildly obsessed with it and its message and just dear gods how it manages to pull off its emotional impact....

psychic powers are just another trait. like people who can run fast or who study hard or sing really well or have strong body odor, or have psychic powers. they don’t make you any more special than anything else. who you are and what you do isn’t set in stone, it’s choices that you can make.

and finally, if your world is tragic bc you’ve decided to lean into the “the public perceives seers as special / dangerous / other “ and so you don’t want to adjust how the powers themselves work and how the public sees it, there’s always the trick of just, like.... let characters’ actions have meaning. let them win. and it won’t be a tragedy, not really.

[imaginejamesandsirius]

hey! so, i love your work, literally im in love with your stories, i think I've read them all like 7 times. I don't know if you are ok with trans characters, but trans sirius comming out to james, (they are already dating) and james being kinda confused at first becouse, how is the relationship supposed to keep going? and at the end he is ok with it, angs and fluff please:))) sorry if i had any mistakes, English is not my first language:)

((A/N: Warning for some transphobia!!! James is trying his best but has a reaction that’s kind of transphobic because he’s never dated anyone that’s trans. He works through it during the fic, but if that’s something that might bother you, you might want to consider skipping this one))

"So," Sirius said. 

"So," James echoed. They'd agreed to talk about sex before trying anything. It sounded adult and healthy, and not like anything James had done before. Most of his relationships had started with sex. First time doing anything with a bloke had been because he sneaked out of school one night and found a queer pub. He'd been too young to be going, obviously, but he'd gotten his first kiss there. He hadn't been out to his parents by the time they passed, so his relationships had exclusively been late night encounters and illicit meetings-- not so illicit the older he got, but it had never been open until he started dating Sirius. "I'm- I mean, I'm pretty much up for anything. I've never been really picky. I'm... ready whenever you are, basically." 

"Right." Sirius chewed on his lip a little, turning that over in his head. "I should- erm, I guess I should tell you that I'm. Erm. I'm trans. So. Y'know. There's some things I won't be comfortable doing. And er. I know that's a deal-breaker for some people. If it is for you, you should tell me now." 

James blinked. "Oh. Er. I don't- er." 

Sirius looked a little crestfallen but tried to cover it. "Yeah. I kind of expected that. It's fine. I should- I guess I'm going to go." 

He started to stand, but James stopped him with a hand on his arm. "Don't- I mean- I just." He clamped his mouth shut so he didn't keep stuttering. He took a deep breath. "Can I think about it? I've only ever dated... I mean, you're pretty much the first person I've ever dated. And I've only ever shagged- well, people with dicks, you know?" 

Sirius nodded. 

James dropped his hand, and Sirius straightened the rest of the way. "I just need some time to think about it." 

"I can give you a couple days, but James... I'm not going to wait around forever. Either you're alright with it or you're not." 

"A couple days is fine," James hurried to say. "That's all I'll need. Thank you." James stood and gave him a quick kiss and flash a smile that was weakly returned-- he didn't want for Sirius to think that he didn't like him anymore. "I'll call you, alright?" 

Sirius gave a small nod, then he left. 

James threw himself onto the couch. He couldn't do this by himself. He was an utter dumbarse; he knew this. He needed outside help. Remus was trans so he'd be able to see Sirius's point of view on this, but James didn't want to inflict this conversation on him. Remus had another shite to deal with without having to walk James through his insecurities. That left Peter. Peter was probably the better choice since he was the one dating Remus. James reached out and grabbed his phone. 

"Hello?" 

"Hey Pete. I need some advice." 

"You're asking me for advice? Bloody hell, the sky must be falling. Alright. What is it?" 

James opened his mouth to say 'so Sirius is trans and I could use some advice since I'm bollocks at this dating thing and am only good at sex but it turns out that what I know isn't going to help me any' only to stop cold. He couldn't tell Peter that Sirius was trans. There were rules about this sort of shite. "Nevermind." 

"Okay-?" 

James hung up on him. He'd apologise later. Who the hell was he going to talk to? He couldn't talk to anyone that had met Sirius, but he still needed someone he was close enough with that he could talk about this sort of thing with them. He scrolled through his contact list. Lily. Bloody hell, that's right; Lily was back in the country. She'd gone to the States for a few years to study, and they were supposed to meet up for tea this weekend to catch up before she went back. He didn't want to wait until the weekend to talk about this though, so he hit call. 

"Hey James. Canceling on me?" 

"I wouldn't dare. I was hoping for some advice, actually." That she wouldn't have a chance to meet Sirius before she left made this better, because it wouldn't be retroactive outing or summat. 

"From me? This should be good." 

"Well- maybe advice isn't the right word. Someone to talk to? See, I've started dating someone, and he's trans." 

"Alright. And?" 

"And now I'm worried about sex." 

"A vagina isn't a buggering goblin, Potter." 

James rolled his eyes. "I'm well aware, thank you." 

"Then what's the problem?" 

"I don't know how to... do anything with those parts. Comparatively, penises are much easier to understand." 

"I'm sure they are, but you like this bloke don't you?" 

"'Course I do. If I didn't, I wouldn't be worrying about this. Listen, Lils, I know this is kind of shitty. I like him and what he's got in his pants shouldn't effect that at all." 

"It shouldn't," Lily agreed. "Has it?" 

James frowned as he thought about it. "I don't think so." 

"Well you're not a total shit-head, that's a point in your direction. Listen mate, you're only going to work past this if you talk to your boyfriend about it. For all you know, he doesn't want you to touch him there, anyways. I can't give you catch-all advice for how to have sex with him because I don't know what he wants. Just- be honest. Open." 

"Tell him I need a fucking step-by-step for how to have sex?" 

"Yes," Lily said. Her tone was free of judgement. Straight and to the point. Yes, James needed to say that to him-- probably with those exact words. 

"That's embarrassing," James muttered. 

"How? It's not wrong to admit when you need help. Besides, it'll be less embarrassing for you to admit you don't know what you're doing than try to muddle through it and have someone get upset. Or hurt, depending on how badly you bugger up." 

"For fuck's sake, I'm not going to hurt him." 

"Maybe not intentionally, but if you don't talk to him, that might end up happening." 

"I hate it when you're right." 

"Do you? Me being right only helps you these days." 

"Yeah, yeah," James muttered. "Thanks for the help, Lils, I'll think about it." 

"Mmhmm." 

"I'll see you Saturday, yeah?" 

"Yep. Have a good time agonizing over this." 

"You're such an arse." 

"Yep," Lily said again. "You can agonize over that too, if it'll make you feel better. Good luck." 

They both hung up, and James sighed. He knew this wasn't going to be a problem. He knew he'd be able to get past it. The trouble was in getting his emotions to sort themselves out. He knew, with one hundred percent certainty, that in the end, this didn't really matter to him. But he couldn't get that through his fucking head. 

He didn't know what he was doing, here. He had no idea how to do normal relationships, and he'd thought that was as far as not-knowing-what-he-was-doing that he was going to get in this relationship. He'd figured that sex was going to be the part of this that he was actually good at. 

Fuck, that's what was tripping him up, wasn't it? It's not that Sirius was trans-- which, thank God, James didn't really want to be an asshole and Sirius definitely didn't deserve it from him-- it was that James had lost the only good thing he was bringing to this relationship. He couldn't guarantee Sirius a good time-- not at first, at least-- and now it felt like... nothing. It felt like he had nothing. Nothing to offer, nothing to give. Except for the mess of a person that he was, that is, but that wasn't exactly a high value. 

*

"I'm a mess," James said into his phone. He was laying down on the couch because it was easier to talk about the hard shit like that-- maybe those therapist couches had the right idea. 

"...Okay?" Sirius said. 

Yeah. Maybe not the best opening he'd ever had. "Wow, yeah, should've started differently. Sorry. Restarting," James declared. "Hi, Sirius, how are you?" 

"Fine?" 

"You don't sound too sure about that." 

"My boyfriend said he needed time to think about our relationship and then he calls me acting like maybe he's not alright. So... I am fine, but I'm not sure you are." 

James winced. He was buggering this up; was anyone surprised? "Right. Sorry. I'm fine, that's why I called. Or- I guess it would be more honest to say that I've realised I'm not fine but that's okay?" 

"...Er. Alright. How about you just say what you planned on and I'll figure out what you mean from there." 

"Right. So. Erm." He'd practiced saying this. Why did it have to be hard now? "You being trans? Totally not a problem. The er- problem is that I don't know what I'm doing." 

"Like in life?" 

"That too, but er, I was thinking more like with this relationship. I think I've told you before that you're the first person I've really dated." 

"Yeah, you mentioned." 

"Right, so when I figured out that I'm not going to be good at anything in this relationship, I sort of panicked. That's what that was. Also I told one of my friends you were trans because I needed advice, but she doesn't know who you are and you haven't met. I don't really know if that's alright or not but I wasn't getting anything done thinking on my own so I had to outsource- and wow now that I say it aloud that sounds really bad. I'm sorry." 

To his surprise, Sirius snorted, completely uncaring. "James, I'm glad you didn't out me unnecessarily, but you and your mates are pretty much the only people that don't know. When I told my parents, they sort of lost it and told... well, everyone in a fifty kilometre radius from our house. Believe me, you're fine. I was nervous about telling you because I was afraid you'd-. Well. Panic. Which you sort of did, but now it sounds like it wasn't about me." 

"It wasn't, rather. Do you know what it's like to have nothing to offer? I'm not used to filling that role." 

"I'm- I'm sorry," Sirius said, amusement filling his voice. "Did you just say that you have nothing to offer? Is that what you think is happening here?" 

"I mean. Yeah. I've met me. I'm a whole lot of fun to be around, but not good for the long term commitment shite." 

"Ooo is that where we're headed? Long term commitment? That sounds like it will be a beautiful disaster, between you and me. Mostly me. I find it absolutely hilarious that you think you are the only disaster in this relationship." 

"Hey, we're having an important relationship conversation over the phone because I was too bloody scared to have it in person. Clearly, I am the bigger disaster." 

"Oh James," Sirius sighed. "You have so much to learn." 

"Lily- oh, Lily, that's the friend that I called, you haven't met her because she's in the States most of the time these days-- she said I have to admit to you that you're going to have to teach me about sex since I wouldn't know what the hell I'm doing with you." 

"Always a good thing to admit beforehand," Sirius said, and it didn't sound like he was mocking James. Not that James had really thought that he would, but it had been a concern in the back of his head. "Don't worry about it, we'll go nice and slow. As much as I would love to hop right into bed with you, past encounters have taught me to be cautious." 

"That doesn't sound like fun." 

"It wasn't," Sirius said honestly. "But I'm sure we'll be fine." 

"I'm glad you're confident about this, because I'm sure as fuck not." 

"Stop being so bloody pessimistic." 

"Yes dear." 

Sirius laughed. "Usual date night alright?" 

"Sure. You want to go out or are we ordering take-away?" 

"That's a whole day away; I don't know why you would think that I know." 

"Flying by the seat of our pants, then?" 

"As usual," Sirius agreed. "See you tomorrow." 

[onlyxmcbride]

This was not wrote by me but I had to share it 💔

Credits to addieanatomy on instagram.

its so difficult for me to understand those who never feel the slightest bit of sympathy for norma and those who blame norma for being a bad mother, for nurturing her child into a serial killer. since the beginning on the series, norma had been a whole person. she has a backstory filled with emotional abuse and neglect at the hands of her awful parents. and emotional and sexual assault at the hands of her brother. and then she gets married to an abusive husband with a son born of incest because of her brother raping her. and another son who blacks out and becomes violent to the point of murder. norman blacked out and murdered her abusive husband/his father and had no idea. and he continues to kill several ppl that come into his life. but that’s just a whole other discussion for a later date. it makes my blood boil when i see ppl want to hate norma and blame her for all norman does. they want to. hate norma for what norman is. in some ways. yes. i can see why we all should give her some blame. because of numerous events in her life, norma’s incredibly broken which doesnt make motherhood too promising for her. i mean. i would argue that the worst thing norma has done has been having a lack of understanding the causes and effects of her actions. and just having a lack of insight in general.

norma feels that nothing outside of her and her care is safe for her and her beloved child. but eventually, she starts to see norman as a threat, to herself and himself. okay and quite honestly. im surprised norma didn’t end up being the damn serial killer given her fucking upbringing and the experiences she faced… anyway. alright norma definitely allowed for levels of intimacy between her and norman that are pretty uncomfortable. and some ppl would say shes reluctant to admit that there is something wrong with her beautiful child. but in my opinion. i believe she was always fully aware of normans troubles and knew that theres was smth wrong with him. but like i said before. she didnt see safety in anything outside herself. bc shes so fucking stubborn! but she truly believed that she was the answer to normans problem and she thought she could help him and protect him. i think it is very harsh for ppl to classify norma and anything she does as a mother as being neglectful. or abusive.,..,. she certainly comes close but. she doesnt cross the line into that territory. and yes. she did tell norman things he shouldnt have to know as her son. like. the situation with her brother. but. if u think about normas role as a mother overall. within the context of her own life experiences. she tries really fucking. hard. to be a the perfect and ideal mother. and i believe her efforts should be applauded considering she had no good mother or father to have as an example for her parenting. this woman did whatever she could to protect her son. and when she realized that she couldnt give him the help he needed,... she sought out help. she went to pineview. she begged dr edwards or whatever to help her son. she did her best to get her son the aid he needed in order to not be a threat to himself, norma and everyone else.

i would find it absolutely ridiculous if u didnt feel an iota a sympathy for norma in that moment in 401. she even explained herself in that moment with dr edwards. she realized that she couldnt control what she thought she could. and that she was afraid of going to the doctors bc she thought they could take him away from her. and i believe that she didnt want him taken away bc he was the last bit of love she had left in her life. she had no one. she loved norman so passionately bc they were all each other ever had. its just. in that fucking moment with dr edwards. norma was showing so much of herself. so much honesty. which is smth she tends not to do. and she was revealing in that moment that literally. like all parents. she didnt really know… exactly what she was doing. she was just hoping that what she thought was best,.,. was good. and she had a moment of great fear that what she was doing was hurting her child. and she wanted to do smth else to change and make it better for both of them. all norma has ever had is good intentions. love makes u do crazy things. and she did crazy things out of the sometimes dangerous love she had for her child. but she cant take full blame for what norman is and became. being the parent of a psychopath is not gonna be fucking easy and a literal cake walk with a manual on how to succeed. all norma fucking wanted was a normal life for her and her son. and normal life that she never got to have throughout her childhood. and teenage years. and into her married life with both of her husbands.

she could never catch a fucking break. and she never did. she never. fucking. did. shitty childhood, 2 shitty marriages, a kid who resulted from being raped by her brother, a kid that was more than just mentally unstable. and her own mental wellbeing never treated was just. the fucking cherry on top. and even after she dies she didn’t even get peace until after norman died, considering he was lugging her dead body around. when ppl talk about norma, her mental health is not often in the conversation. but quite honestly. norma's entire mental state had to have been absolutely exhausting for her. she needed serious help. and she needed it well before norman even came into the her life. i think the only time she realized that… this isnt how normal people live. is when she was with alex... alex gave her a real glimpse into a type of normalcy she had never experienced. honestly. i would like to believe she eventually would have gone into therapy had she survived. and even if norman had stayed at the live-in hospital and didnt try to kill her, she and alex were not going to magically start living a beautiful, good life. she was going to need some serious therapy herself. and i just know she wouldnt bring herself to do that all by herself. i think if anyone could help her decide to help herself... that person would without and doubt be alex. norma truly was beaten down by life at every corner. anyone in her shoes with that kind of history and mental wellbeing would be in an unbelievable amount of pain on the inside. when thinking about how this all plays into her relationship with norman... i just think she loved norman to the best of her ability. but it was from a perspective warped by extreme mental illness, fatigue and injury of her own. to add to this exhausting amount of mental turmoil, came her exhausting love for norman. god i love this woman so much. she is everything to me.

This hit me so damn hard. People ask why I love this show so much and the reason is above. Vera Farmiga portrays Norma so brilliantly and I couldn't think of anyone else who could do it better.

Romanticizing the relationship she and Norman had is unhealthy yes, but she loved her son so much she would do anything to keep him safe. Norma Bates is a fucking warrior- fictional character or not.

[ohtheseboysilove]

Goodbye Westeros [ Ben Hardy x F!Reader ]

Words :  1, 400 K +

Warnings : language, fluff

Summary :  Reader and Ben watching the very last episode of Game Of Thrones. She maybe confess accidentally her feelings too.

Note : I got a bit carried away after the request of @im-themoonofyourlife and god, I had a lot of fun writting this one ! This pure fluff and praising about GOT characters. But shit I’m so sad it’s over, like daamn, how I’m gonna survive to the next mondays ? Anyway if you want to talk about GOT, just message me or slid in my dm im so frustrated uurgh. Enjoy my buddies xx

!!! DON’T WORRY IT’S SEASON 8 SPOILER FREE !!!

Masterlist & Requests

@/ none of these gifs are mine xx

You bounced nervously your leg, waiting impatiently for Ben to arrive at your place. It was monday evening and who said monday, say...Game of throne day. And tonight was the last episode ever, after ten years of following the drama of the seven kingdoms, you were sad but excited to see finally who gonna end up on the iron throne. Even if you were a bit disappointed about this season eight you were still a massive fan.

When you heard Frankie whining at the front door, you knew Ben was about to arrive, fucking finally ! He gave a copy of his keys for you to come sooner at his place as you always watched the episode at his place. He had a bigger and better t.v than yours.

“Hiya Frank’ ! How are my girls’ tonight ?” Ben’s pretty face popped in the living-room and you immediately jumped on him, tugging him by the arm to the sofa. “Someone is in a hurry” He chuckled and rubbed the dog’s back with a wide smile.

“In a hurry ? You’re two hours late !” You pouted and crossed your arms. “I fought really hard to not watch the episode without you Benny”

“Mmm, you promise you didn’t watch it ?” The blond grinned and observed your face closely. You shook your head and he pressed a deep kiss on your lips.

His warm palms slid cheekily into your jeans, pinching your ass innocently.

“Hey, not even in your dream Benjamin” You pushed him away with a smirk and sat comfortably on the sofa, grabbing the blanket. “Maybe after the episode” You winked and he rolled his eyes.

“But you’re always grumpy after the episode, especially this season babe” He whined childishly. “We all know you’re not gonna like the ending”

“True but I’m gonna watch anyway so...” You shrugged and caught the remote, looking for HBO on the t.v screen. “You’re coming or what ?” You raised the cover for Ben but he stood up with an amused smile.

“I’m starving babe, I’m gonna make myself a sandwich. Want something ?”

“Seriously Jones !” You let your head fell back against the couch in a dramatic effect, sighing deeply. “Put your pretty ass on the sofa and let watch this damn episode” You threw him a pillow when he openly laughed at your exasperation.

“Jesus woman, gimme two minutes” He disappeared behind the kitchen door and just when you were about to pressed start, he yelled “Don’t fucking dare play the generic without me !”

You grumbled childishly and waited five more minutes before Ben finally came back, two sandwiches in a plate. He plopped next to you and slipped his arm around you shoulder, putting you close to him.

“Ready ?” He nodded as he bit in his snack. “Oh my god I’m so excited !” The familiar music started echoing through the room and you smiled widely, both you and Ben humming the theme song.

Your eyes were glued to the screen, hands clasping around your boyfriend’s forearm and squeezed it when your were shocked or afraid by a scene.

“I swear if she hurt him...I’m flying to Westeros tomorrow morning and take personally good care of her” You whispered as Ben chuckled gently. He loved how intensely you were living every episode.

By half of the episode, your cheeks were wet, like every time and you were on the blond’s lap, arms wrapped around his neck as you literally drank every words escaping from the characters’ mouths.

“Hey, that’s mine ! You said you didn’t want anything” Ben growled as you shamelessly bit in the sandwich still in his hand. “You–“

“Shush, my girl Arya is speaking. Show some respect to the best female character of the show” You scoffed and kept your eyes on the screen, waiting patiently for the final outcome.

Ben mumbled something about Cersei being way more interesting but you ignored him, too busy as you tried to guess who gonna be king or queen of the seven kingdoms. As the moment came closer, you could feel Ben tensed behind you, both of you looking with wide eyes the decisive scene.

“Oh my–“ You gasped and put a hand on your mouth as you finally get to know the new ruler of Westeros. “Fuck, is this real ?” You turned to Ben who looked as surprised as you.

“Told ya you were wrong” You silently watched the remaining minutes of the episode, laughing and crying again as the end of the episode was very close. “That was, indeed, unexpected” He shook his head with a grin as the generic played on the screen.

“I can’t believe it’s over” You sniffled and scratched Frankie’s head, your mind trying to process all the informations from the last episode. “I can’t wait for the spin-offs”

Ben stretched his arms and yawned lazily, stroking affectionately your hairs. “I know babe, so weird. Monday gonna be boring again now” You nodded and snatched the remaining half-sandwich from the blond’s plate and munched ferociously in it, not sure how you were feeling about this ending.

“Anyway, now that it’s over, we can all agree and say that Jon Snow is the best character of the show” Ben added with a cheeky smile knowing very well how you would react to his words.

“I think the fuck not ! Not on my watch baby” You shook your head and punched playfully the blond’ shoulder. “He’s a good character, of course. But seriously, he was so bad written this season, what a waste” You sighed with a pout.

“She is my queen (Y/N)...” His imitation of the well-know voice of Jon snow made you giggled stupidly. “It doesn’t matter if I fucked my aunt, she got the nicest tits of the seven kingdoms”

“Oh my god, shush” You snorted and captured his lips for a sloppy, giggling kiss. “You’re terrible...and well all know the best character is Tyrion, periods” You added with a superior smile.

“Only loser think that, babe” He shook his head and you gasped dramatically, offended by his words.

“How dare you talk about-–“

“Come on, he is funny alright, I give you that. But he is just an alcoholic who think only with his cock and get bully by his whole family, you’re always love the weakest one” Ben commented with a shrug.

You knew he was doing that in purpose to annoy you and it worked every time, you were too attached at the characters to let him say some bullshits like that.

“You’re lucky I love you because you being really stupid right now” You grumbled and took a deep breath, ready to make your speech about how awesome was Tyrion. “He is not only fun, he is smart and strong and very brave, he didn’t–“

“What did you just say ?” Ben’s eyes widened and a soft smile painted his pretty face.

“What ? I said he was brave...”

“Not that silly girl, you said I’m lucky because you love me” You blushed deeply as you just noticed that you effectively let your little secret slipped out. “You’re serious, you love me ?” He asked with a giant smile, brightening all his features.

Your fingers fidgeted with the sleeve of your top and nodded timidly. “Yeah, I love you Ben” You looked shyly at him and gladly accepted his long and intense kiss, his hands immediately grabbing your hip and you sighed appreciatively at the softness of his plumpy lips. He broke the kiss when the need of air was too important and you both smiled stupidly. “You don’t have to say it back, you know” You murmured, rubbing gently your nose against his.

He rolled his eyes and pressed few pecks on your swollen kiss. “I love you too (Y/N), of course I do” You heart fluttered heavily in your chest at his words.

“Yeah ?”

“Silly girl, I did catch up the seven seasons of Game of thrones just to watch with you the last one, right ?” You chuckled slightly. “Sixty-seven hours in few months with my crazy schedule darling, I thought it was obvious I did that because I love you. I knew you would need an emotional support for this six last episodes”

“True, you’re my real knight in shinning armour, the bravest of the seven kingdoms” Ben grinned cockily, his teeth grazing gently on your lower lip.

“Bravest than Brienne of Tarth ?”

You scoffed playfully and rubbed his cheek like he was a little kid.

“It’s Ser Brienne of Tarth and please, don’t push your luck honey. She fought a bear and practically killed Sandor Clegane, she is the greatest warrior of all the time”

“Can’t argue on this one” Ben admitted and pressed his lips on your forehead. “I love you”

“And I love you too” You answered with a loving gaze. “Even if you have shitty tastes about GOT characters”

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