#im not about to have my period i dont think? im just fucking sick of this

[fadeintoyou1993]

having to explain to people things like. if i have to go out to do something and run errands i need to have it all mapped out and planned w like. at least a week in advance. and if i go out that day i cannot do anything else because That will be it. if i have multiple commitments that cannot be put on the same day i need one full day in between those commitments so i can rest and be recharged for that next thing otherwise i might have a breakdown in the middle of the street (again) and then That will render me unable to function for like a whole three days. and then people look at me like i choose to live like this?

[phagodyke]

venting sorry... don't want to just delete it bc it helps to get it out just ignore this post pls 👍

haven't slept much at all and feeling so sick andstressed and in pain bc my period is due and so tired its making me dizzy but i cant sleep more or ill just feel more sick and I want a hug and to cry so hard into someones shoulder but no one cares or will even come near me it makes me feel diseased they think things about me that aren't true bc I struggle so much to communicate and thry all make assumptions insteqd and no one wants to give me space to talk to them about it so I cant undo that now and its all my fault and I'm so. exhausted :-(

[synonymroll648]

IF LORE UPDATES APPLIED TO PEOPLE I WOULDVE JUST GOTTEN ONE OF MY HAPPIEST LORE UPDATES TODAY

[confetti-critter]

I've been so straight up evil wtf is wrong with me

[lion-and-dragon]

.

[lostinlovingrevery]

Just a thought and no offense but I think Logan just wants to be in love and feel loved in return.

(This isnt proofread and came out as rambling so have fun trying to read it and decipher it! 😅)

So WE ALL know that Logan can be flirty, and that he may have had a period where he was a bit of a manwhore (*cough* 70s Logan *cough*)

I feel like that period though, and any other flings, one night stands, etc whatever was less out of lust and more of a desperation to feel SOME kind of human connection bc the mans so lonely and has been treated like a soldier, a weapon for so long that hes desperate for human connection, even if it makes him end up feeling depraved afterwards. Post-nut clarity wakes him up next to some girl he met at a bar, and guilt sinks its teeth into him because he doesnt even know her name, much less actually LIKE her. The man was born in the 1800s, he may have grown with time but you cannot tell me theres not some inkling of being a gentleman- and wanting to find someone you truly love, hidden in there somewhere. I think overtime he may fall into this routine, believing he needed to be a walking sex magnet, gruff, cocky, whatever have you because hes convinced its the only way he can have a connection with someone, even if its for a few passionate moments under bedsheets, and an awkward "that was nice. Bye"

It only fuels his self hatred, convincing him that he really his just an animal, looking to get his sick desires out, eat, fuck, sleep, survive.

When we see him in the X movies, as a cage fighter he is brutal and rough and he doesnt seem to have a caring bone in his body yet he still manages to find himself caring about this young girl who stowawayed in his trailer, and does help her, even if he acts like this version of logan he created. Someone who doesnt care. But he cares. A lot.

Its not until he meets YOU, that he starts to wonder if he got it all wrong. Kind, beautiful, smart YOU.

I fully believe that logan just wants a partner. One night stands, flings, what have you, were just him lying to himself, desperate to feel something other than hate. After he lost his memories, and he began just wandering, the concept of love was lost on him. And lust wasnt there anymore either. He was approached by women, perfectly fine, pretty women, all the time during his time cage fighting, bars, etc. He turned them all away- completely opposite of logan 30-40 years ago (my timing probs not right on xmen lol) who was convinced the only way he was living was if he had ass next to him every night he went to sleep because he was lonely. This version of logan, lost, angry, wanted nothing to do with people. Some of it the repressed feelings coming out from his past that he doesnt even remember. He was convinced then that he had to be alone. Becoming a lone wolf that bared his teeth at anyone who tried to pet it. Secretly though, deep down although he wouldnt admit it, there was that deep desire, that he always felt in his 200 years, that he just wanted to find his mate. He'd call soulmates bullshit if you asked him, but the moment he meets you, hed know that it was real, and that maybe god cursed (gifted) him the ability of healing and practical immortality just so he could find you. And hed do it over and over again, the pain and suffering and loneliness, if it meant you would be the endgoal.

Logan is a pack animal. He needed a family, to protect, and cherish. When he meets and ends up at the x-men, his demeanor and attitude changes quickly to something similar to a dog that snaps at you when you pet it only for it to whine and whimper "im sorry, please dont hate me, i just dont know how to accept love.". Hes still wary, because hed never KNOWN a family before. Put aside his memory loss, the closest things he had to a family was a creep of a brother, and a woman who said she loved him under false pretenses (i still dont like you kayla even if you say it was real). He barely knew his parents, and even then that was a lie because his father wasnt even his biological father. Yeah, Logans life was pretty damn lonely, so its no wonder the man is cautious of anybody and anything.

The moment you come into his life though, that bitterness, anger, and meaningless flirting goes right out the window. Hes serious about you. Hes usually cautious, nervous around people but he meets you and its almost like he threw all those imaginary rules he has for himself out of the window.

Look at how he was with Jean in the movies. He barely knew the woman, they barely shared ANY lines in the movie yet he was almost completely devoted (dont get me started on that storyline). Trust didnt come easy to the wolverine. And Kayla- their relationship just shows how much he wants love and to be loved. I never seen origins but a lot of gifsets and read the synopsis of the plot, but i think he had a feeling with Kayla he couldnt trust (remember how he says hell never go against his gut again?) But he so badly just wanted that connection he ignored all the warning signs and did everything to build a life with this woman who not only tricked him, but put him through unimaginable pain both physically and mentally. (Look I REALLY dont like kayla but i do feel bad for her because stryker did have her sister captive). I know stryker is the evil mastermind here, but god imagine trying to find love with someone, only for it all to be a farce, even if they claimed they did love you the entire time- the intentions from the very beginning was far from love.

Oh but when he is in love with you. From the moment he met you, it wasnt love at first sight exactly, more like a feeling that you were it. Hes all about you. He sticks around, under the pretense that he just needed to make some money first, doing some missions for charles, keep an eye on rogue. He cant admit its because he wants to stay close to you. Hes like a feral cat taking shelter in your shed. Stays away at first, cautious of your spspspsp, but curious nonetheless. Completely ignores the first bowl of food you put down for it- or so you thought because when you came back it was completely devoured. It takes weeks of food and spspsps before it finally warms up to you, but after that first contact with your hand and its head- good luck ever getting rid of it. Not that youd want to 😊

Logan becomes a shadow to you, once you become something akin to friends. (Its really more than that but no ones addressed it). He teases you and flirts with you, and its something you think he does with everyone, until Ororo tells you that he only does it to you. Sometimes he just sits in your company, other times hes curious about what youre working on, not wanting to start the convo, but does things like leering over your shoulder (which he may or may not be doing just to he close to you and get a good whiff of the smell of your hair). He stresses when you go on missions without him. He slowly opens up about his past to you when he begins to get his memories back. Trusting only you (and maybe charles) with the truth ablut the man he used to be, and still is.

When your feelings finally do come out in the open though, however it happens, that first kiss, the first time you make love, etc etc. Logans a different man. I mean, hes still that cocky, grumpy person we all know and love. But he carried himself differently. Hes confident and wiser, hes comfortable, and hes happy. He found a home, his pack. And maybe after countless conversations about his past, the things hes done, and the comforting words and understandings you give him, he starts to learn that he isnt so bad, because if you love him, YOU, the most wonderful person hes ever known in 200 years, love him despite all of his violence and hatred and slight whoreish tendecies back in the 70s...then he must be alright.

He doesnt need to worry about his past anymore, when hes got you, right there with him, promising a loving future together.

[writingoddess1125]

How does buggy and Shanks handle their daughters s first period?

Oh Honey- it was a fucking disaster 🤣

I have the Shanks one right here if your interested but I'll do a Buggy one as a quick story!

Press Here if you Love Buggy <-

Old Man Series Masterlist <-

• Buggy didn't really grow up around girls- So he is inexperienced with periods and such till he started dating you.

• "Where is Bubbles?-" Buggy muttered to himself, noticing immediately that Ari was missing. He looked to see you were with Ali and disapeared to the back to find his missing daughter.

• But since he knew the time would come, he had the conversation with you ahead of time about what to do when that day comes.

• It was Ari and Ali 11th birthday party. Of course he threw a big party, like he did for both sets of twins-

• Buying them all matching nice clothes, stocking up on the best of everything and even going as far as the dock in a place with lots of kids so there were plenty of playmates.

• This was no different from the other parties, the sun just starting to set and the live music was blaring as his ship was packed with people.

• However one thing was off'

• "Ari?...Bubbles?...." Buggy called out, looking around the lower deck to see if he could spot her. After a moment he stepped towards the bedroom that the twin girls shared and heard it-

• Rushing in quickly at hearing his daughter crying he came in to see her face buried in her knees and sobbing.

• Crying?

• "Uhhhhhh Shit"

• "Bubs?-" He stared at her, Her looking up up at him with wide eyes. That's when Buggy sees it- Blood. Staining her pale pink dress to high hell and some on her exposed legs

• Which ment...

• "No No! its fine! It's actually normal!" He said loudly.

• "Get out!" She cried, Lunging forward and slamming the door on his face.

• "B-Bubbles it's alright! Sorry I didn't knock uh-" Buggy stuttered trying to figure out his course of action now.

• "Go away! Im sick!?" She sobbed from behind the door- Buggy panicking himself as he tried to think.

• "W-What?!- How is this normal!?" She sobbed hysterically.

"It means-" Buggy sighed as he sat on the floor with his back against the wall. "It means your growing up Bubby-" He said softly, Ari sniffled and wiped her cherry nose.

• Buggy stood there for a second, Hearing her cry. Before sighing heavily himself to calm himself- "Can I come in Ari?" He said softly, sending his hand off to get the supplies he knew you kept in your bathroom.

• After a second the door cracked open and Buggy stepped in slowly, Seeing Ari now seated again still in tears.

• Buggy entered a bit awkwardly but leaned against the wall as he daughter cried.

- "What does this mean?" Ari whimpered, sniffling into her knees.

"I dont like it-"

"Ahh noone does. But thats just part of life" He said a bit sadly. His hand returning with a bag which he tucked to his side at the moment.

"It is your period Ari, it means. That your a woman, like your mother" He started, internally cringing at having to have this talk with her. She looked up to him, as he started to explain- Clearly both of them embarrassed about the situation as Buggy tried to be as mature of an adult about it.

"Oi! The party is just starting Whats going on?" Bee yelled out, Banging on the door. Buggy opening his mouth to yell at his sons to fuck off- but he was beat to him.

"So this is gonna happen for the rest of my life?-" She clarified, Buggy nodding calmly knowing damn well she didn't like that answer.

"Yep until your old and wrinkled like me-"

Ari sighed irritated at this- Groaning in frustration. Buggy could only nod at her reaction-

"Yep. Once a month.. That is why we got these-" He said calmly as he brought the bag out and passed it to her.

"There are instructions inside and I can go get your mother to run down how some of that shit is u-"

"Hey!" Bee called out, smacking the door making father and daughter duo snap back from the conversation. Buggy hand quickly flying up to lock it so the boys didn't barge in- He knew this was already a sensitive situation for Ari and she didn't need her brothers getting in.

Dee starting to argue with Bee about leaving the two- clearly more socially aware.

"GO AWAY!" Ari screamed, making even Buggy jump a bit. Clearly having his lungs it seemed even if she was typically very resevered. He heard the boys scramble away pretty quickly after that. Buggy sighing at this-

"Come on Princess- Let's get you all washed up and we can get you a new dress okay?" He said sincerely, his little girl nodding as he helped her up and escorted her to go use the shower in the master bedroom.

• Buggy quickly gets you to come down from the party, giving a quick run down of the situation to you and sends you off to the bathroom with Ari.

• He knew he couldn't find an exact match and that Ari really liked this dress it being matching to Ali who was still partying upstairs.

• Buggy now tasked with figuring out what to do about the damn dress! He searched through his daughters closet to find something similar for her to wear but failing-

• "You dyed it?" She questioned gently taking it from his hands- feeling the fabric was still ever so slightly damp as well. Knowing he must has used all his strength to dry it as quickly as possible after his quick dye.

• "Think damn it!" He hisses, Looking around at what to do. Before it clicker and he runs to the supply room of the ship-

• You and Ari stepping out into the hall after a while. Ari freshly showered and in comforble clothes- clearly upset and not wanting to go out in her long pajamas for everyone to see and question.

• "It's okay honey-" You try to reassure but Ari face was sour and clearly uncomforble. You sighing and rubbing her back to comfort her.

• In moments Buggy rushed towards you two, you raising an eyebrow at your husband who haf splatters of black over his face and clothes.

• Buggy smiled down at his grumpy daughter-

• "Feeling better?" He asked, getting a shrug in response. He expected as much.

• "Well, if you're still in the partying mood since it is your birthday afterall- I fixed your dress!" He said cheerfully. You and Ari looking surprised at this since their was no way to completely remove such a heavy blood stain-

• Grinning as he pulled from behind his back the dress, now a deep dyed Purple color.

• "Well, Dark dye covers red stains so- Yeah" He said with a grin.

• Ali didn't her own period till a year later 2 weeks before their 12th birthday and at this point Buggy was prepared and mentally almost ready.

• Ari eyes well up with tears and she hugs him tightly. "Thank you Dad!"

• Buggy smiled at this and hugged her back. "Of course Princess, Now go get dressed. Your missing your party!"

• Ari smiled, now clearly happy as she rushed off to her room to change out of the provided PJs and into her new dress.

• You smile at Buggy, Proud of him for handling this so well. Kissing his cheek that didn't have the dye on it "Great Job Honey"

• After that Ari returns to her sister, The two going about eating, Opening presents and more.

• The rest of the party goes off without a hitch-

•Much to Buggy's relief-

• However sends you to handle it anyway-

[the-feral-enby]

For financial reasons and because the stress of not knowing if I would be okay without it: I went off T in 2023. I still identify with transmasc and use he/they pronouns. Went back on it i think in agust this year 2024.

Here is why I never want to do that again:

Cw// suicide ideation, periods, dysphroia, mentions of transphobia.

The body gets terrible periods. So bad if I'm not chugging pain pills that keep me Constipated, I cant get outta bed. Throwing up as well. It will knock the hormones so outta place I cannot think about ANYTHING else but suicide for weeks. This lasts for three weeks out of the month.

The body doesn't lose mucel but I didn't want to work out or do anything. I naturally have mucel mass. Over all my physical health got worse I ached and became sick more easily.

I tried to go on birth control. One of the leading factors of this decision was in case something happned. And I couldn't get my t. If I would be okay. And after the third month of bleeding onto a rag and a very concerned doctor visit I decided to go back on it. I'm devastated.

I have tried to stabilize myself for years. And T did what antidepressants, birthcontrol, and everything fucking thing you could imagine. Couldn't do.

I finnaly have something that WORKS. And I'm told I'm poisoning my body. I'm constantly worried about my future ability to get it.

I've been suffering for years. I know I haven't even gone into the dysphroia, it was hell. Thats because I think that people don't talk about the nondysphoric reasons to remain on hormones.

Testoerone is saving my life. After this its very clear to me that:

MY BODY IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE AN ESTROGEN DOMINANT SYSTEM.

I WILL DIE IF I DONT GET THIS HORMONE.

MY LIFE IS WORTH LIVING WHEN IM ON IT.

I've actually been able to be in my body. My brain is ACTUALLY now making memeories. I was robbed of my teenage years because of my uterus and abusive parents. There gone. I cannot remeber them. The pain was THAT BAD. My brain forced me to forget almost everything.

That isn't life. That isn't living. That is torture transphobes delight in. A reality they think I should just get over and accept. I'd like to make them trans and see if they could make it.

I think they wouldn't be able to survive one hour.

[spicyboelives]

i just came across your phantom art and it has infiltrated my bloodstream….…. i am now Addicted, it’s SO good. which is i’ve come here to humbly ask……. would you please give us some lore/backstory for your version of the story……. (if not that is okay, have a good day 🦉)

Sure! I only have a few points though, as the majority of the story would stay the same.

Firstly I think Meg Giry and Christine (hes trans and he kept his OG name) would still be thick as thieves, though her characterisation would be more true to the books. So a bit spoiled and rowdy but well meaning.

Erik would be envious of their friendship, but as hes protective of the theater and to an extent the younger dancers I doubt he'd be aggressive to her.

Eriks disposition here is closer to Charles Dances portrayal than Gerard Butlers. As he truely feels he has 0 chance (like the probablity of him sucessfully getting someone to look past his features AND be gay with him is low in his opinion). Though he would be fiercely over protective and seethingly jealous when Raoul showed up- (Raouls is chill but would run the risk of outting Christine).

Christine for his part, would likely be jumping all over this sewer dwelling man. From his POV hes given him a ton of attention, skills to advance his career, and i dont think would be put off from the mask or scars at all. Given that he often has to hide his true self out of fear of others reactions too.

Im pretty sure in the orginal story theres a ton of metaphors about Christine comings of age as a young woman but imo im skipping that and just pushing the metaphors moreso in the direction of: sextuality/societal expectations/class privileges and ✨friendship✨.

&Evertime Erik sings to Christine its with a sicknass electric guitar but when he sings to others he uses traditional instruments.

This is to signify how their relationship would be considered out of place & unaccepted in their time period, though never the less it is sick as fuck

[casually-slips-into-coma]

spoilers for iwtv s2e4

my thoughts after a rewatch:

i know claudia hates the baby loves window play but she ate up that little song

the lulu role really is so humiliating :(

louis’ expressions whenever he watches these plays always kills me lmao he hates theater kids

louis and armand talking over each other to daniel

armands theater notes lol

claudia no eyebrow big eyeliner look is kinda cunty ngl

im a fan of sam the irish vampire

making claudia be lulu all the time oooh armand i hate u so bad

almost threw up watching louis and armand give different answers to the companion question IN FRONT OF THE COVEN that shit was so embarrassing

i wouldve kms if i was armand

vamp catfight

armand stuck in this situationship dont worry king we’ve all been there😔

literally telling each other i love you and still having the what are we conversation

“do you notice how hot the room gets when you two talk about the secret” plsssss

louis only able to use the fire gift when hes angry👀👀 gee i wonder if thats gonna come back👀👀👀👀👀

louis going🤨🤨 to the schizophrenia question like it came out of nowhere

armands face while louis talked about dreamstat why not just shoot me in the head

loving these dutch angles whenever daniel dissociates and gets an armand memory

santiago looks so good in the gold suit? robe thing??

claudia santiago friendship is killing me santiago i know what u are

claudia killing the guy singing baby lu

i like that you can tell claudias french has gotten better. nice small detail

i love scenes of louis and claudia just talking about non vampire things

santiago mimicking louis was pretty cool

buffoon sighting!!!

whole dinner scene bangs

the guy saying theres smth “fragile” about armand in the photo louis took and louis saying “no he’s anything but” and then the guy saying “you’ve captured the soul he hides” 🤌🤌

louis would never survive a 4 hour art school critique

daniel telling a girl he’d only do her if she had a paper bag over her head??????

claudeline truthers how are we feeling

context for the eating paper clip in the trailer

romeo!!

armand is so down bad its sick

madeline tailoring a yellow dress for claudia😟😟

the whole claudeline interaction was great

amadeo☹️🔫

MARIUS KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!!

the way armand talks about marius

MARIUS KILL YOURSELF x2!!!!!!

“no one has painted me in 400 years” fuck

madeline period blood moment. theres so much here about femininity and maturing might make a separate post about this scene

armand pinning claudia against a wall armand i hate you so bad

we already know that armand is powerful but seeing him choke and manhandle santiago really solidified that i think

picked another one over me!!

delainey is ACTINGGGGG

louis not believing claudia about armand ooooh louis i hate you so bad

love makes you stupid clock it

louis still referring to claudia as his daughter in his head (thru dreamstat)

louis just actively talking to himself girl do that in your head

park bench moment <3

“wanker” i giggled sorry

that suit is his favorite on him :(

“im a little wet” and armand instantly pulling out an umbrella, armand lighting his cigarette, armand calling him maitre

louis calling him arun and armand calling him maitre and then louis throwing away the lighter this fucking scene is cinematic art

the other coven members calling santiago maitre

i kinda like that daniel can hear them arguing from another room. i feel like its a very human experience? really domestic? even given the circumstances

armands eyes were never brown!!!

san francisco flashback episode might kill me im not kidding

insane way to end the episode

ok this was much longer than i thought it would be but this episode has a lot in it. each episode gets better and better and this is definitely my favorite of the season so far.

i am LOVING louis and armands relationship and also both of their story arcs and characterizations. their dynamic is kind of the opposite of what i, and i think a lot of other people, expected but it still makes total sense and im enjoying it a lot

god i love this show

[kumezyzo]

heya!! sick!reader and sapnap?? currently dying in sick rn lmfao, thank youuu :)

all my love,

-🍒anon

hiii! i hope you get better soon!! 💜 i was thinking about this when l was on my period and dying from cramps and nausea and all that goody-good shit.

anyway, enjoy! or dont... :) m.list

bf!sapnap who feels really bad if you ever get sick, even if it wasnt his fault.

bf!sapnap who isnt usually very busy but still has to stream and work. so instead he'll bring you water and make sure youre not sweating into dying or suffocating from your stuffy nose.

bf!sapnap who is texting you from down the hallway to make sure youre okay.

if you two arent living together yet, he's still checking in on you with texts and telling you to stay in bed to not exhaust yourself too much.

bf!sapnap who would bring you food and eat with you in your room he'd sit in bed next to you and makes sure youre eating. he's also bringing you medicine.

bonus, bsf!dream who comes to check on you too and just talk to you to keep spirits high. although he does stay near the door cause he's scared of getting sick and bsf!george who brings you soup and the traditional 'healing' foods.

bf!sapnap who tries to give you kisses. but you have to literally push him away with all your might.

"okay, baby, I'll be back. dont die, please!" he told you as he stood above you. instinctually, he leaned down to plant a tender kiss on you lips.

before he could, you pushed his face away. "nick, what are you doing?!"

"what am i doing? what are you doing? let me kiss you!?" he says with betrayal written all over him.

"no, fuck off, you'll get sick," you say, pulling your blanket over your mouth as you glared at him.

"i dont care. i want a kiss!" he whined, trying to lean in again while he attempted to pull the blanket. "and i know you'll take care of me if i do!"

"you think im gonna take care of you?" you ask playfully. "if you get sick, its on you. youre on your own."

he pouts heavily and narrows his eyes at you. his eyes flicker between yours before he settles on planting a kiss on your forehead.

he smiles at you softly when suddenly, familiar the mischievous glint appears in his eyes. and without saying anything, he plants a kiss over the blanket covering your lips.

im so sorry this is so short 😭😭 i just have no idea what else to add to this! like its so short i feel bad that i couldnt come up with more 😭😭 -nony

[violentlyexplosive]

not to be Vulnerable On Main, but I'm going through it and need to vent my thoughts into the internet aether where i can pretend the people reading it aren't real. um. trigger warning for sad animal stuff and some mentions of blood, sh, and sa.

pet loss is so weird. like. i keep waking up at 5 am, half asleep, like "ah yes, i have to get up and let the dog out now" but then there is no dog. i had never had her as my phone background until she died. i keep looking to the couch every time i walk into the living room and there is no dog there. i look behind myself when i move around the kitchen so i don't step on her but there is no dog behind my feet. i go on a walk every day at 8 pm because i cannot fathom a routine without her. every time i pass the neighbourhood kids i hold my breath, cus is this going to be the time they ask? am i going to have to explain to a gaggle of six year olds that the dog had to go away? where she went? am i going to have to be the one to say it because my father is older and softer now and will cry? do i get to cry?

I've never been close to my extended family, and it's always baffled me when others would talk about grieving their grandparents. somehow a part of me views it as, idk, a lesser grief? not in the sense that i don't believe you should grieve your family members, no matter how many degrees of separation between your bloodlines, but because it is simply not something i have or will ever experience as a product of my upbringing and culture. i already struggle with empathy on a good day, having been medicated since pre-puberty, and i just can't... understand this form of grief. i do not think less of it, i just can't find the shape of it.

and i feel sort of similar in this? like. this stupid fucking dog was in my life from 13 years old to nearly 21. she saw me through ugly, awkward haircuts and acne and my first bad period and watched me harm myself and come home traumatised with invisible hands tattooed onto my skin forever. we got her to help me with my debilitating social anxiety/agoraphobia and depression. she got me out of the house and forced me to talk to people to explain "oh I'm sorry, she barks at men, we think she was abused as a puppy" and laid in bed with me when i was too sick or pained to get out of it. and in return, i held her during thunderstorms and fireworks, wiped her mouth and ass when she threw up or pissed the bed. i slept on the couch with her when she couldn't make it up the stairs after surgery, then again years later when she got too old and sick. i hand fed her when she didn't have the energy, i spit water into her mouth when she couldn't get up to drink it herself, i kissed her little, golden head every time she gagged on the pills i had to force down her throat because no amount of ham or cheese or peanut butter could make her swallow them. she was clever like that, in the dumbest ways possible.

and it's so fucking weird without her. i never realised how much my routine revolved around her until she wasn't there to cry at me to feed her anymore. and i feel stupid for feeling so broken up over a dog of all things. like i said, a lesser grief. animals come and go, i know this. have known it since i lived in the countryside and saw my first dead deer, since i had to kill an injured bird for the first time. i knew she was going to go, and i knew it was going to happen soon. i knew the moment the vet called to say she had blood in her tummy because i hung up and screamed. i screamed. over a dog? over the one thing in life i knew how to love right.

i dont know. I'm ovulating, and it's been officially seven days since she said goodbye, tail wagging to the very fucking end. it's too quiet at home, and my mother (mentally unstable narcissist that she is) is already talking about wanting to get another dog. we have a 12kg bag of food and two pallets of canned stuff that came a couple days after she went, that im going to donate. i carried the 40kg ball of fluff and blood to the vet, 12 is nothing after that. i take solace in the fact that i believe in god not in the abrahamic way, but that god is the universe and everything within, and that energy cannot be created or destroyed, meaning she's still out there somewhere. maybe if i listen really hard I'll hear her again.

[sadboytournament]

ROUND ONE

Propaganda

Adriane Tepes/Alucard: Bro's mom got murdered and his dad went insane and tried to wipe out humanity, and Adrian had to kill him to save everyone. AND THEN he had to deal with people trying to revive his dad to cause even more deaths! Also he's immortal so he's outlived everyone he's ever cared about 😭

Jason Todd: (tw: sexual assault mention) the second robin, gets taken in by bruce after his abusive dad walks out and his mum dies of an overdose (and he also steals the wheels of the batmobile, king). bruce trains him to be robin and for his original run he was a pretty cute kid (with the occasional Angst Arcs that are pretty common w robin - special shoutout to jason finding out his dad was actually killed by two face and he just didnt know, and an arc where a woman that reminds him of his mum gets raped by a guy that iirc has diplomatic immunity i think?? or enough power to get away with it? anyway jason fucking kills him so not that immune ig) then death in the family happened and jason found out his mum isnt his biological mum so he sets off trying to find his bio mum, and eventually he meets her, but shes working for the joker and sells jason out to him. the joker then proceeds to beat jason with a crowbar and blows the building hes in up with his mum also inside it, killing them both. dc then does a fun thing for the next 20 years where they start treating jason like the '"""troubled""" """angry""" robin who was too reckless and was always going to end up dead. eventually dc brings jason back (as dc is wont to do), by having him wake up inside his coffin years after dying, dig his way out with his bare hands, and walk half-dead in the general direction of wayne manor until he's hit by a car and taken to the hospital (where all his says is 'bruce' over and over, and when asked who bruce is he responds 'my dad' and passes out) eventually he ends up in talia al ghul's care and is dunked in a lazarus pit to revive him completely, and he finds out not only is the joker still alive, but batmans also replaced him as robin. jason returns to gotham as red hood and has an honestly pretty slay arc where he taunts bruce by doing a better job of cleaning up gotham than him ngl. eventually it all culminates with him luring batman to a building where hes keeping the joker and telling b that his no kill rule is bullshit, and he shouldve killed the joker for taking jason away from him. he gives bruce an ultimatum thats basically if you dont kill me ill kill the joker, you gotta pick' and bruce chooses to instead disarm jason and save them both, and jason escapes. what follows is a lot of ups and downs for red hood comics (mostly due to the "angry robin" narrative dc writers have spun, making a lot of jasons appearances wildly ooc fights, lots of weird (tragically in character) cringefail behaviour, and this odd period where hes a natural redhead and his helmet is this ugly dome). itd be too long to list every jason todd sadboy moment from the last 20 years here but i do want to give a special shoutout to a currect story arc where bruce (who thinks hes being controlled by a 'perfect batman' hes got in his head) gets sick of jason's """reckless behaviour""" and fucking alters jasons brain chemistry so that whenever his adrenaline rises, he'll have a panic attack so severe hes basically incapacitated and can barely speak through his fear (the instant he escapes bruce's captivity he jumps into a burning building to save a little girl im SOFT for him!!). also second special shoutout to the jason todd in the arkham games who didnt even have the luxury of dying at the jokers hand, and was instead tortured for like 3 years, branded, beaten by p much everyone in batmans rogues gallery (and some of jokers goons dressed as batman), eventually jason breaks himself out only to find out that NOT ONLY has bruce replaced him, but it took the man like. a month. like jason wouldnt be thought dead for a long time, he was missing and bruce just went 'ill let this new kid adopt himself' ig? also theres a vr game in the arkham series where you can go into arkham asylum and hear jason screaming 🙃

[glitchdollmemoria]

that last post mentioning masks got me thinking about how like... i quite literally cannot wear a mask at all times due to one of my disabilities. i TRY to wear one when i can but it isnt always an option for me, which fucking sucks because im terrified of getting sick and potentially worsening the very disability that prevents me from consistently masking. and hardly anyone masks anymore so its not like theyre helping to keep me or anyone else safe lmfao. to spell it out very plainly i am PRO-MASK so dont put words in my mouth here please.

i experience heat intolerance, as a symptom of some kind of muscle weakness fatigue issue that still hasnt been properly diagnosed. my body temperature runs warm, im overly sensitive to my environment, and physical activity makes it worse. if i overheat, my muscle weakness (and nausea, and brain fog, and-) will flare up and ill be forced to rest for what could range from minutes to hours to days to weeks to months depending on how bad it is. i have to take IMMEDIATE action when i notice myself getting too warm because i cant risk that, and taking immediate action includes removing anything i can thats keeping me warm, including masks.

so when i walk to work in the summer bc i have exactly zero alternate options? most likely cant mask right away when i come in unless the weather is cooler than usual, because i need to take like half an hour for my body temperature to go back to normal.

moving around more than usual during my shift? the physical activity is gonna increase my temperature and ill have to take my mask off.

going somewhere other than work, having to either walk or take the bus? either way i have to spend time in the sun and so again i will probably need a cool down period once i get inside / on the bus, depending on how hot the weather is.

and theres an intersection here of my multiple disabilities and my poverty. i cant drive due to another illness, and i cant afford to use a rideshare service or even regularly take the bus, so walking in the heat is my only option to get to work. my work options are limited because i couldnt complete college and cant perform heavy physical labor, so i have to stick with a retail job that requires a lot of moving throughout the store, which itself is physical labor that can potentially make me sick if i go overboard.

mostly i just wanted to put this out there because i never really see people talk about actual reasons they cant wear masks, its almost always antimaskers who dont give a damn about people like me. but if you take anything from my ranting, let it be these two points:

while most people who dont wear masks are just making that choice because they dont like doing so or dont think its important anymore, a few of us out here literally cannot always mask despite knowing its a risk to ourselves and others; and

IF YOU CAN MASK PLEASE KEEP FUCKING MASKING. covid still exists! disabled people still exist! many of us are extra susceptible to the long term effects of covid! please fucking help to protect us! please give a shit about us! i feel like im shouting into the void here because i hardly see anyone mask anymore but please.

[1nternetangelz]

hihi !! new account because i& lost my& last one , but i&ll get straight to the point . this might get into vent territory so i&ll cut it off just in case !!

i& am in debilitating pain 24 / 7 . i& have a high heart rate + high blood pressure , and my& joints always hurt . my& toes , ankles , knees , hips , entire back , shoulders , traps + neck , and the base of my& skull always hurt , with my& sensitive areas being knees , hips , and neck .

along with this , i& am always fatigued . i& wake up around 10 and go to bed around 8 [ when i& can ] , and am never able to fight off my& tired feeling .

after almost two years and two canes later , my& mother brought me& to the doctor . i& go , do my& physical , get my& blood + urine drawn the next week for every test BUT the one i& thought they'd do [ a crp for inflammation ] , and i& go home and wait .

nothing . they said i& was sick , on my& period [ blood in urine ] , and dehydrated , and nothing else .

now everyone in my& house is acting like im crazy .

i& dont know what to do , and every time i& think about it , i& cry . two years of waiting for ... nothing . i& cant stand without support , i& was kicked out of band for my& inability to march correctly , and i& cant go up / down the stairs without falling .

it hurts . living hurts . my& partner and friends are the only ones who believe me& and my& family is treating it like its all in my head , that im& working myself up over nothing . that life is supposed to be like this .

it isnt , something in me& KNOWS its not . something in me& knows that this is not normal , and every time someone says that they go even a few minutes without pain i& just want to curl up and cry .

standing hurts right now , laying down hurts right now . i& barely have enough energy to make this post because my& fingers are cramping and i&m so fucking tired . its 2am , way past when i& sleep , and i&m up crying because i&m in so much pain .

i& just need advice , feel free to scroll .

[pumpkinsy0]

Ahaha guess who isn’t coping well rn? Me!

Context: today my period came and now I feel all nauseous and sad. But I solider on and went to do some shopping for some food. Issue? my dad also had like a bad day cause of his meeting. So when he found out I didn’t get his like alcohol he got mad. Not like SUPER mad more like passive aggressive mad??

I feel TERRIBLE because I made his day worse. But I’m also just sad right now. I love my dad so much but I feel like sometimes he just CAN’T be there for me. I can’t always ask for loving because he’ll think I’m being weird or needy. Or when I have a bad day, he’s also having a bad day. So I need to suck it up and act fine cause HE needs to let his feelings out. And I just- I just want my dad. I want him to hug him, I want to not have to earn his love, I just— I want him to stop being angry.

SORRY!! I’m venting majorly hard rn and that’s silly and stupid. But I was hoping you could do HC’s of this for one of the Curtis Gang Members. Maybe how that character would handle this. Maybe they’ll have better luck then me.

hey anon!!! im sorry to hear what ur goin through, u dont deserve it, so dont beat urself up!!! ur living ur own life and u shouldnt feel ashamed that u couldnt help someone else live theirs, plus bad day or not, no matter what it doesnt give someone the right to treat u poorly, its not ur fault!!! not even in the slightest!!!! ur sick on too of that, if ur dad cant show some compassion for that, hes the problem

BUT ITS OK!! its not silly or stupid, ur perfectly fine!!!

w all that said letsssss go w fem two bit w her dad here!! (yes this is genderswapped, but lets just say for this sake, twos dad and mom r the same and didnt swap genders)

•two loves her dad, which she knows is pretty odd considering hes one of the biggest con man she knows and even cons her sometimes but she just cannot help it no matter how many times shes mad at him

•two constantly feels like she needs to prove herself to him in order to get him to say “atta girl”, and in a twisted way, she really does but not really???

•two dad doesnt love her completely, but he does love her to a certain extent, he mostly loves what he can do FOR him and to a smaller extent loves her for her, thats guaranteed

•ANYWAYS, two’s sick and her dad got back home from this one con he tried doing that absolutely fucking busted, he got home and he was already annoyed, anything could set him off

•now he had this other thing planned, what was it??? till this day two doesnt know, BUT he told her to steal something for him, only problem is, she didnt get the right one, and she thought he would at least commend her for getting it, bc it was no easy feat, but she showed it to him, and he didnt go off on her, but she did see a look of disappointment and anger before he up and left to go to the couch, which made her feel worse

•for a good while, when he saw her around the house, he would make a comment about something she did, and it got to a point where two just couldnt take it and locked herself in her room till her mom came home late at night from work, just to avoid seeing him

•two mom HATES them hanging out the way they do and can always tell when something happened so when she sees twos dad at the table drinking and grumbling and twos door locked, she knows whats up and tries comforting two but it doesnt work, twos just beating herself up, so twos mom goes to her dad

•all two heard was yelling, it wasnt for long, maybe for 10 mins, but she ended up going to sleep to escape, she was just tired, hungry, and thirsty

•next day, he dad took her out, but it was so weird, bc its one of the only times hes seen him be hesitant near her, well with anyone really

•he drove her around town for a bit trying to make conversation, but failing miserably, and two knew he was trying to apologize, horrendously and in his own way, but he was trying, and to her that felt like enough, felt like a lot actually