#im not a writer guys
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this is so bad but i permanently cropped the file so brutally that i can no longer edit it. whoops! also panels 4-7 were fully coloured but it looks better without for some reason. pomni (penny?) is such an ugly crier. i love my horrible failgirl accountant
#I TOLD YOU IT WOULD HAPPEN AGAIN!!!!#i'm not a writer btw guys i just love doing comics so if youre wondering why its awkwardly written. well#tadc#the amazing digital circus#art#pomni#ragatha#buttonblossom#my art#tadc fanart#tadc pomni#tadc ragatha#tadc humanization#human versions#jesterdoll#ragapom#pomni x ragatha#the amazing digital circus fanart#comic#ABSOLUTELY NO ONE LOOK AT THIS. im kicking the gravel. uurgh#thank u for the sweet feedback you guys and shoutout to attleboy for leaving such lovely tags on the last post#like half an hour before i posted this one. so powerful
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Lazy short story I wrote in an hour about Mason reluctantly taking Cillians three siblings to the lake! It's not very high quality, but it's all I really need since it'll be made into a comic... sorry for the shitty formatting
"Mister O'Connor?" Elizabeth chimed, poking the man's back as he lay on the lounge. He groaned, rolling over and staring at the young girl, almost looking confused as to why on earth she would be bothering him. Her brothers were behind her, quickly slinking away when his eyes met theirs.
"Yes, Elizabeth?" He mumbled, not bothering to sit up.
"Well, Cillian with da and mam is busy and we really want to go to the lake."
He grunted, pinching the bridge of his nose and sitting up, recoiling as his feet touched the cold tiles.
"So what do you want from me?"
Elizabeth stared at him, an exaggerated frown appearing on her face as she dramatically crossed her arms.
"You know what I want!"
Mason yawned, blinking slowly, one eye at a time.
"I'm not taking you to the lake." He stated, laying back down and facing his back to her, shutting his eyes and trying to fall back asleep.
Soon he felt three sets of hands tugging on his shirt, he whined.
"Please, Mister O'Connor, we'll never ask for anything ever again!" He heard Peter exclaim.
"Come on sir!" Edward pleaded, it was presumably his claws which were digging into Mason's shoulders.
"Please" Elizabeth begged, reaching over him to grab his hand, trying to drag him off the lounge. The children eventually managed to pull him to the ground, giggling as they got on either side of him and pulled him up to a sitting position. He sighed, relenting and standing up.
"Go to your rooms, get yourselves ready quickly while I gather the towels." He smiled, "You're lucky we don't have to go far"
The three children cheered loudly, Mason recoiled and covered his ears, grimacing as the children celebrated. It'd be an exhausting afternoon.
Edward as usual immediately began playing rough, nipping at Peters tail as he galloped into the water, narrowly avoiding being bitten. Elizabeth stayed by Masons side for a moment, looking up at him with her big brown eyes. The face she made was almost like a smile, it was at least the closest she could get while not in a human body.
"Go on, I'll wait here"
"Aren't you coming in? Cillian always comes in!" She chirped, tilting her head to the side like a dog.
"Ah, I'd rather not, dear." He sighed as he laid out the picnic blanket he'd brought along with him, setting out the childrens towels for when they were finished. They wouldn't be transforming back until they were home, but their hair would still need to be dried off. Ăine hated when the children returned drenched, trailing water all through the house and into their rooms. Elizabeth especially, Cillian often joked that she was a sponge cleverly disguised as an otter, her thick and curly hair always seeming to soak up an absurd amount of water.
"Please, you never play with us!"
"I'm too old to play"
"Cillian is older than you and he still plays water tag with us!"
The two boys momentarily stopped wrestling in the water, shouting out in agreement with their sister. Mason frowned, trying not to stare into Elizabeth's eyes as she begged. Her sounds of whining and crying eventually weakened his resolve, and he whistled.
"Boys, out of the water. I'll be back, Peter you're in charge while I'm gone"
Elizabeth squealed, spinning around in a circle and just about knocking Mason over as she jumped up at him like a dog. Edward groaned, reluctantly leaving the water and sulking on the riverbed, completely covered in mud. Peter made his way out shortly after Edward, grabbing the smaller otter by the scruff and dragging him away from the river.
"Careful, Elizabeth. You're getting too big to be jumping up at people like that" He scolded as he walked off back to their cottage.
Cillian had entered Mason's room halfway through the younger man's transformation, immediately rushing to his side.
"Mason! What's wrong?" He purred, trying to soothe him.
"I'm quite-" he grunted "alright!"
"What happened, why are you-?"
"Your siblings.. want me to play tag with them-" He gritted his teeth, the comforting sound of Cillians purring dulling the pain to a bearable point,
"They're just waiting for me at the lake"
"You left them there alone!?"
"Its fine, I left Peter in command. They're not to go into the water until I'm back. You're back early"
"Yes well, good thing I came when I did"
Cillian was already undressing himself, Mason finishing his own transformation as Cillians began. Mason glanced over at him and immediately looked away, turning his entire body to face the other direction and squeezing his eyes shut.
"You need to tell me when you're going to be doing that!" Mason yelped.
"You've seen me do this before, Mason, surely by now we're past the point of-"
Mason was already rushing out of the room, awkwardly squeezing through the door frame.
Mason arrived at the lake before Cillian, who was no doubt laughing at Mason's embarrassment. Elizabeth spotted him first, followed by Peter. Edward was still sulking, digging at the mud with his paws and occasionally eating whatever he was finding in it.
Edward eventually looked away from the mud long enough to spot him, quickly making his way over to him with the other children. It was their first time actually being able to look at him when he was an otter properly. He was big, bigger than them but smaller than Cillian. Peter had to stand on his hind legs to even reach the ends of Mason's whiskers. He awkwardly shifted himself around, somewhat confused by the stares.
"You're bigger than I thought" Edward blurted out. Before the other two, or even Mason himself could retort, Cillian burst out of the bushes. Mason yelped, running a few metres away before he realised it was Cillian, the man's siblings already surrounding him and chirping. Mason sighed, flopping onto his side and curling up, prematurely assuming the children had forgotten about him. That was until he felt someone biting his tail, who he flicked at with said tail as he craned his neck to see Cillian.
"What on earth are you doing?"
"You promised them you'd play, come on Mason don't break their little hearts!"
"I didn't make any promises!" He whined, but the trio was already there nudging him, Edward hopping up onto his back and swatting his neck with his tail.
"Ed, off." Cillian warned, his instruction quickly followed. Mason got up, gesturing for Cillian to follow.
"You three, get yourselves in the water. We'll be there shortly, promise" Cillian beamed, nudging them towards the water, where they happily dove beneath the surface.
"Cillian, I'm scared. I don't want to hurt them by playing too rough"
"You're not going to hurt them, Mason. They're tougher than you think."
"Peter and Edward, yes. But not Elizabeth, she's just too young"
"Mason, I've known her since she was born, I promise you she'll be fine. It's just tag, just pretend we're all human, alright?"
Mason stared at him, the equivalent of a frown crossing his face.
"You know what I mean!"
"Bit hard to do that when we look like this"
"Oh shut up!" Cillian laughed, lunging at Mason and tackling him. The two play fought for a bit, Cillian intentionally wearing Mason out.
"Alright alright! I quit, you fat sausage!" Mason huffed, "I'll trust your judgement."
"Attaboy" Cillian grinned, slapping Mason's leg with his tail, chasing him into the water.
Theyâd play for hours.
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is âwhat the fuck i accidentally supported a rapistâ not#âbut my showwwâ. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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for real me. â Ë・âŕ¨âĄŕ§â Ë・â
#girlblogging#this is what makes us girls#girlie things#hell is a teenage girl#im just a girl#just girly things#lana del rey#blog#daddy's good girl#eat my pussy#90s#tumblr girls#current mood#movies#so hot and sexy#lol#older man younger woman#yapping#pink#thick and juicy#daddy k!nk#edit#beautiful women#this is a girlblog#writers on tumblr#older guys#girlhood#gorgeous#beauttiful girls
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Three CaitVi fics I've read over the holigays
be but sworn my love (E) by antant616
This fic is literally the trope of: slow burn but they're fucking the entire time. Also, CaitVi here are exes who are forced to play Romeo and Juliet in a play and ooooo the drama! I'm HOOKED.
Dear Stranger, (T) by becasbelt | tumblr
If you want to cry, read this. Absolutely beautiful canon-compliant fic. And for real, just read all of Anne's works. They're amazing â¤ď¸
lucid dreams âbout you (M) by rosetattoos
Oh GOD I've never been so happy to see an update for a fic before. The last time this librarian!cait fic updated was like two years ago, and I gave up waiting for it. But lo and behold, what a GIFT for the holidays!!
#personal tag#caitvi#read them yall READ THEM NOW#my backlog is so long its never ending and thats such a good problem lol#IVE ONLY READ SO LITTLE FICS DURING THE HOLIDAYS IM SO SAD#but these three are special to me i love them so much!!!!!!!!#also yeah im an AU enjoyer sue me lol#please give all our lovely writers some love!!!!!!#CAN YOU GUYS BELIEVE WE HAVE OVER 11k CAITVI FICS???? I CANT#we are so lucky#also no gifsets for a bit! im kinda burnt out making things so much and wanna enjoy doing other stuff for the meantime#like trying to finish all my backlogs of caitvi fics lmao#maybe a few days? idk we'll see
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just need everyone to know iâm not okay, iâm not fine, iâm actually posting from the grave.
i was already headcanoning yunho as the underboss, charming and handsome and able to draw you in with ease but turns on a dime when ordered to strike, his weapons of choice a bit more subtle and quiet compared to some of his brasher family members. san who favors the honesty of his own fists, yeosang who favors the swift swing and crack of a bat.
to see him like this? my mind is absolutely spinning.
#i have so much work to do itâs criminal i am not a full time writer#itâs all i want to do for real#i need to figure out how to get paid for this#lmao at having serious tags under such an unserious post but you guys get it i think#anyways#im dying#yunho hard thoughts#honeyhotteoks thoughts#yunho#mafia yunho
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#lana del rey#unrealesed lana#lanadelrey#lana is mother#lana del ray#lana del ray aesthetic#lana is god#lana how i hate those guys#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#lana unreleased#lana stan#aka lizzy grant#lizzy#lizzy grant#coquette#americana coquette#female beauty#female rage#female hysteria#female writers#just girls being girls#girlblog#girl thoughts#im just a girl#elizabeth woolridge grant#this is what makes us girls#poetry#born to die#honeymoon#hell is a teenage girl
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I guess that this is as good of a time as any to remind people that WRITERS MAKE THE STORY!!!! I cannot count how many times I see posts praising tv directors for things that are simply not their doing. That iconic line of dialogue? Yeah a screenwriter wrote that. The characters you love? Screenwriter. The places, the plot lines, the developments? Writers.
A show CANNOT happen without a script because a script is necessary for EVERYONE to do their job right. It dictates what set to look for/create, the filming schedule, the casting calls, the costumes and so on. It's not just words on a paper, its the backbone for all of production and it deserves to get recognised as the integral part of tv and film as it is.
#i dont want to take away the praise for directiors and actors#i just dont want it to be misplaced praise screenwriters as it so often is#i cannot count the times ive seen posts like (x-director) did it again aaaaah i cant believe this#when they're not even the director for that particular episode#and a writer literally wrote the script theyre referring to#im starting to think you guys have no idea how the creative roles behind the scenes work đĽ˛#wga strike#wga#writers guild of america#writers guild strike#wga strong
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Will we get RO POVs of the NSFW scenes? đ
maybe
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I find it funny that Wild, who has basically a couple years ish of full life experience, comes up with the most insane theories for everything
He assumed that the only other explanation to Four being able to split in Four was. That he was quadruplets who'd been hiding this whole time???
Also apparently he believed that his wolf companion Twilight in botw was a diety (and felt very uhh shocked upon finding out that he was not)
Malon made things worse, telling him about her aliens theory
What's even FUNNIER is that every time Wild expresses any sort of confusion at magic stuff that he's never seen before, everyone else in the chain acts like it's crazy for him to be weirded out by it
Honestly maybe Wild's the only one with his head on straight, rather than everyone else who are just like 'it's magic bro' like no he's right this is weird
I appreciate this because it's very considerate of the fact that he woke up with no memories not too long ago, so he doesn't have much experience to explain the stuff that's 'normal' for the chain. Plus the explanations he comes up with are funny.
:)
.
Art and comic and adorable character by Jojo @linkeduniverse au :D
#I hope this made sense I didn't edit much#linkeduniverse#linked universe#Lu wild#djdjdjdkdjdkckdkxkgg#the 'this is normal it's fine' chain#and 'why is this tree speaking to me' wild#it's just. I mean. I'd have some pretty insane theories too ok#he has no idea why someone could split into four but he has seen two identical twins at a stable once so surely that's an explanation#he's literally so smart tho. like creativity and stuff? being able to pick up on new skills and concepts? he's a genius. a very goofy genius#aahh for his age I said 2 years of life context because he says he's 117 + Jojo said Lu is less than a year after his journey#also mental memories maturity and time awake is all so complicated#so I just said a couple years as kind of a base number idk#(aaaaand if i said anything offensive im sorry of course and none of this is meant as a criticism of wild but I love his crazy theories)#everyone's thoughts matter so much and I love you guys /gen <33#:)#and. I like this and it's funny and fluffy but if my angst writers wanted to get a hold of this O.O
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ends of the earth
#ggg spoilers#great god grove#ggg hector#ggg capochin#early days before everything went wrong save me. save me#i think the funniest bit bout these doodles is i had a WHOLE OTHER POINT I WANTED TO DRAW BUT THIS WAS UNSCRIPTED SO IT#GOT DERAILED#me: i wanna draw art of a character i like but doesnt get a lot of art. let me make a silly indulgent headcanon and draw it#me: [accidentally draws a whole other thing by getting derailed from being interested by the convo the characters were having]#this is why im not a writer. the adhd is even worse there#anyway uuuuh#guys do you ever make silly little headcanons in a delerium and when u sit back after ur like âoh no....â#type of silly hc that despite not doing anything wrong ur like âthey r gonna draws n quarter me in the town squareâ#because oops i did that and now im sitting head in hands about it#yeah.#so anyway#uuuuuuuuuh#sniles so sneetly
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Freaky Flashbacks
synopsis: you recall the gradual shift in your relationship with fred when prompted by questions at a panel promoting the movie.
wc: 13k+ (...)
warnings: rpf! reader is specified to be inexperienced! major plot point actually!
a/n: loads of backstory! and banter! and pedro and paul! and kissing!
i hope the format is as intuitive as i think it is, but just in case it isn't, italics means the start of a flashback and bold is the return to present day. feedback is writer's fuel!
cross posted on AO3
<<previous part
The energy in the green room was calm, easy. You sat perched on the arm of the couch next to Fred, laughing as Pedro recounted a story from a previous panel heâd spoken at. Fredâs forearm draped over your thigh, his thumb absentmindedly tracing small circles on your knee, as if heâd done it a hundred times before.
The casual physical affection felt normal now, expected even. No one batted an eye. Not Pedro, not Paul, not anyone in the room.
Ever since filming began, your relationship with Fred had only grown in comfort and familiarity. The closeness of your characters on screen slowly but surely translated to your friendship in real life. And then something moreâŚ
Late nights of practicing scenes together turned into deep talks and sharing secrets in the warm light of his trailer. Only a few months into filming, the two of you were attached at the hip. Inseparable. It became a running joke. If anyone asked where either of you was, the answer was always with the other.Â
-
âWhereâs Fred?â An assistant called out onto the crowded set one day. âHeâs needed in hair and makeup!âÂ
âWhereâs y/n meant to be right now?â Paul asked, barely looking up from the script in his lap. The young girl looked down at the clipboard in her hands, combing through the schedules and call sheets. Costume department, she concluded after a few moments of frantic shuffling. âWell, thereâs your answer then.â
Pedro had laughed for days recounting the story, shaking his head at how predictable you and Fred had become.
-
âAre you excited?â Fredâs voice softened, meant only for you now despite the buzzing room. You lit up with a smile and a nod. You were incredibly excited. You had never been a guest at a panel before. âNervous?â
âNot really,â you shook your head and shrugged. âJust more surprised, I think?â You mused aloud with a tilt of your head. In all honesty, you werenât sure why you were invited to the panel at this convention today.Â
You knew that your role wasnât as impactful as people told you it was, they were just trying to be nice. You had less than ten lines in the whole film. Being invited to a panel discussing the complexities of the plot and the acting behind it was an honor! But a confusing one.
You had a sneaking suspicion that, somehow, Fred was behind it.
âSurprised?â Fred asked, his eyebrows rising and dipping in quick succession in that way that they do. âWhy?â
âJust thatââ You glanced around, as if gathering evidence. âEveryone here was pretty high up on that call list.â Fredâs brows furrowed even further this time and you knew what was coming.
âDonât do that to yourself, y/n,â he almost whined. âYou were a driving forceââ
âIâm not tryna minimize my work, Fred.â You chuckled lightheartedly, cutting him off before he went on a tangent. He was always quick to pop any bubbles of self-doubt that formed in your brain, but this really wasnât the case. âI know I worked hard on this movie. We both did.â You held his hand in yours. âBut⌠Alexander wasnât invited.â You pointed out with raised brows. Alexander had played Ravi in the movie, the healer in the Colosseum. âIâm pretty sure he had more lines than I did.â
âBut you definitely had more screen time,â came Fredâs quick rebuttal. âActually, thatâs why I told them you should comeââ
âI knew it!â You exclaimed in a whisper, making sure your conversation didnât attract any attention. You were enjoying the private moment in the crowded room and there was no need for it to end so quickly. âI knew you did this!â
Fredâs grin tilted, eyes glinting with quiet defiance. âWhat? Am I supposed to feel bad for wanting people to notice how good you are?â He laughed. âYou had almost as much screen time as anyone here, but nowhere near enough lines. So I told them that your insight into your character and the plot was just as interesting, if not more.â
âDoes this count as nepotism?â
âShut up!â Fred giggled, lightly punching your shoulder. âI just feel likeâ If I can help you get the recognition you deserve, why wouldnât I?â
âAlright, thank you all for arriving on time.â A producer spoke up, seemingly appearing out of nowhere and putting an end to your conversation. You turned away from Fred to face her as she spoke, a smile still lingering on your face.Â
âWeâre gonna start calling you guys out now, one by one. Itâs gonna be in the order your names are set up on the table, so you just come out and sit in the chair farthest from your entry. Does that make sense?â She asked, receiving a few nods. âIs everyone ready?â Another round of nods and yeses left the group, yours along with them.
âDonât overthink it,â Fred whispered to you with a squeeze of your knee. âJust enjoy the moment.â
At that, you could hear the producer hype up the crowd for the castâs arrival.
âThatâs our cue.â Pedro got up from the couch with a clap of his hands. âReady?â
âAs Iâll ever be.â Fred replied, standing up along with Pedro. âHow about you, old man?â
âCreaky at the knees, but itâs alright.â Pedro teased, giving Fred a playful punch on the shoulder. Thatâs when you heard Pedroâs name called out into the microphone followed by the crowdâs roar in applause and cheers. âLater, losers!â
One by one the cast was called out, Fredâs name being the last one before yours. You breathed out a sigh of relief, grateful to be sitting next to him.
ây/n l/n!â Your name blasted through the speaker, signaling your cue to head out onto the stage. You walked out with a smile and a wave, the crowd cheering at your arrival. You sat down at the long table facing the audience, right there next to Fred.Â
Your name was printed on a place card in front of you, spelled right and everything. With every passing day of working on this project, you felt more and more that you had finally found your place in the world.
The producerâs voice blurred into the background, distant and dull. Your focus drifted to the sea of faces aheadâposters with your name in big bright letters, shirts with your face printed on them. Some people were even dressed as your character from the movie. It was surreal.
The warmth of Fredâs hand on your knee tethered you back to the present. His steady gaze met yours, silently reminding you to breathe. He knew how overwhelming it could all be. And he knew what you were thinking, he could see it too. He was so proud of you.Â
Fred squeezed your knee twice, a small act to show you that he saw you. To show you that he was there for you. And maybe, cockily, he was saying âI told you soâ. That your presence was wanted here, not just by him.Â
âWeâll get started with questions from the audience then.â The producer announced, motioning for a member of the crew to turn on the spotlight facing the crowd. When the light turned on, it illuminated a microphone on its stand in the middle aisle between all the chairs, and, with it, an incredibly long line of fans. Each with a vetted question, the producer assured.
Most questions were for Paul, though that wasnât surprising. Many for Pedro and Denzel, as well.Â
You listened and laughed along, enjoying the easy going nature of the conversation. A lot of the questions were based on the acting, which was a topic well loved by actors of course. But some, as expected, were about the on-set dynamics.
âWhat was your first impression of your castmates?â A teenage girl asked Paul.
This launched a chaotic answer, with multiple people joining in at once, talking over the other and laughing loudly.Â
âWe all know that I was absolutely terrified of Denzel at the beginning.â Paul laughed, patting Denzel, who was sitting next to him, on the back.
âSo was I!â Joseph cracked up. âBut I thought Fred was such a sweetheart.â
âOh, yeah.â You nodded with him. âFred was incredibly kind to me on my first day on set.â
âKind?â Pedro questioned, eyebrows upturned in surprise. âLittle asshole is what he was.â
âHe saves the sweet stuff for her,â Paul chuckled.
âYeah, well Pedro was an old man calling me short and she was a pretty girl who was lost.â Fred defended himself with his arms crossed, tone clearly kidding. The crowdâs laughter rose at the banter, even if it was obviously turned up for the panel. âWho would you help, huh?âÂ
-
It was your first day on set and your very skin was buzzing with how excited you were. Your schedule said that you should start your day in the hair and make up department, and you heard someone say that it was next to the crafts center. But you couldnât find either of them for the life of you. And you shouldâve been worried about being late for your very first appointment on the set, but you were just too enthralled with it all.
The set was beautiful! Malta, as a whole, was absolutely gorgeous, but the set was something else. It truly felt like you were transported back in timeâ if you ignored the cameras, speakers, and lights, of course. You had heard of Arthur Maxâs work on other productions, and of course knew of his work on the first movie. But experiencing it first hand was almost an out of body experience.Â
You knew that, when the time came, immersing yourself on the set would be a piece of cake. An actorâs dream really, that was what this type of set was.
âUh, y/n?â Your name being called out from behind you caused you to spin around. âOh, it is you.â The manâs shoulders sagged in relief. âHi, Iâm Fred.â
Fred Hechinger. You knew exactly who he was.
âIâm y/n.â You replied, stretching out a hand for him to shake. âBut you already knew that.â
âYeah, well from what I hear, weâre going to be exclusively working together.â Fred laughed as he shook your hand. âHad to do some research on my scene partner.â
âGlad Iâm not the only one, then.â You chuckled.
When your manager told you of his secured position as Emperor Caracalla, you knew you wanted to look him up. Many other actors accepted the role before flaking for âscheduling issuesâ, so you were never sure who you were actually going to work with. But once Fredâs acceptance was confirmed, you went on a deep dive. You watched as many of his shows and movies as you could, his IMDb tab constantly open on your laptop.
âThey were calling for you in hair and make up,â he said. âI offered to look for you and help you find the way.â
âHow did you know I was lost?â You raised an eyebrow as you asked. You werenât really lost, more so taking advantage of the lack of directions.
âOh, I know youâre not lost.â Fred shook his head with furrowed brows as he folded his arms, faux seriousness painted his expression. Fredâs effortless confidence had an unexpected charm. It was magnetic. âBut if I tell them it took me a while to find you, then we can admire the set for a bit longer.â
Your surprise melted into quiet laughter.
And just like that, you had made a friend.
-
Back on the panel stage, you leaned into the mic, smiling softly. âHe gave me a tour.â You recalled. âAnd he vouched for me at hair and make up, because I was almost half an hour late.â
âOn your first day?!â Paul questioned in astonishment, eyebrows raised to his hairline. âBallsy move, y/n. I could never.â Paul tsked and shook his head at you in disappointment.
âHey!â You called out in offence, throwing an arm up in Fredâs direction. âBlame Fred, heâs the bad influence here!â
âEntirely my fault.â Fred nodded with his hand raised. âI take full responsibility for corrupting the child.â
âOh, shut up.â You rolled your eyes, but your smile betrayed you. âYouâre like two minutes older than me.â
âTwo minutes?! For your information,â Fred pointed at the crowd as he spoke now, âI am years older than her. Years!â
Another fan stepped up to the microphone, pulling you back to the task at hand. âWere there any funny on-set moments or inside jokes that made it into the movie? Or at least stayed with you afterwards?â
âBless you.â Pedro whispered into the mic, causing a wave of giggles to pass through the rest of the line up.
ââBless youâ was a good one, I liked it.â Joseph smiled before bursting into laughter at a memory, sending Fred a look from across the table. "Tell them about the sword!"
Fred groans, but the memory sparks in your mindâthe clang of metal and his ridiculous deadpan expression.
Connie lets out a loud laugh as she recalls the incident. âFear me!â She clapped her hands together as she giggled. âOh, it was hilarious!â
âFear me,â echoes in your head, and suddenly youâre there again, barely holding back laughter on the set.
-
It was a late night, you were filming the scene where the emperors confront Acacius and Lucilla regarding their treachery. Ridley had instructed Joseph and Fred to make their reactions as dramatic as they saw fit, considering how fervid the scenario would make the twins.
You had been filming for hours at that point, the energy amongst you growing more chaotic with each take. Everything was funny to you now as the sleep deprivation finally hit.
During one of the takes, Fred jumped out of his seat on the throne and grabbed a prop sword from a nearby guard, as was written in the script. He was supposed to point it at Pedro and Connie, yelling about their punishments, as Joseph held him back. But, with each shake, you noticed how unstable the prop looked.
A loud clang echoed in the marble halls of the set. The sword had fallen right off of its handle.
No one said a word. Fredâs face scrunched up in confusion and anger. He stared at the broken hilt in his hand, then at Pedro. Without missing a beat, he raised it like a dagger. âFear me.â He whispered menacingly, nose to nose with the older actor.
Thatâs it. Pedro snorted so loudly that the entire set erupted into laughter. You and Joseph were crying from laughing so hard. Denzel was chuckling into his hand, and Connie was leaning on Pedro to stay upright.Â
âHow dare you mock me?!â Fred shrieked, staying in character, even when it was clear the take was a lost cause, if only to keep making the rest of you laugh. âI am your emperor!â
âAlright, alright.â You hear Ridleyâs voice call out, winding down from his own laughter. âOne more time, then weâll call it a night. Someone fix that sword, please!â
None of you ever let Fred live it down afterwards.Â
Pedro would grab a toothpick from the crafts table and follow Fred around with it, a soft and dark âFear meâ heard under his breath.
-
"Honestly, I thought Ridley would leave it in the movie." Fred shrugs, laughing it off. âIf only someone didnât break and ruin it all.â He sent a teasing look to Pedro out of the corner of his eyes.
You wipe a few tears from the corner of your eye as you catch your breath. âIt wasnât even that funny. We were just so tired.��
âIt was like four in the morning, we were done.â Joseph explained to the crowd, still coming down from his giggles.Â
âAnything wouldâve been funny to us at the time.â
After the crowdâs volume slowly dwindled, another fan came up and asked about Denzelâs performance. Denzel spoke about how much he enjoyed the freedom Ridley allowed the actors in this movie. How exciting it all was.Â
Afterwards, someone asked about how Joseph balanced working on multiple sets at a time. Pedro joked about Joseph being sought after and hard to find, always in a different part of the world. Joseph shot back at Pedro that they were always together anyways, considering how they both were working on âFantastic Fourâ together.
Another audience member asked Connie how it felt to come back to this movie after more than two decades. She talked at length about the differences and similarities the two sets had. How it was both nostalgic and new.Â
Someone else stepped up to the mic and nervously waved to the cast after the laughter had died down. âMy question is for Fred.â Fred perked up and smiled, nodding at her to continue. âHow did you prepare for the emotionally vulnerable scenes you had as Caracalla while staying true to both his character and his sickness?â
âThatâs a really good question.â Fred nodded, his arm coming up from your knee to rub at his shoulder. It was so incredibly endearing to you how he reacted to attention. âIt was important, definitely. To make sure that you werenât just seeing his sickness, but the true him under it all. And I think Caracalla, the man and not the sick emperor, really shined in those vulnerable moments.â His hands gesticulated wildly as he spoke and you were enamored the whole way through, not expecting them to motion to you next. âBut, at the end of the day, I think you just really have to trust your scene partner.âÂ
Fred looked at you with a shy but knowing smile, âIt takes a lot of practice to be vulnerable in front of someone, even if it is just pretending. And y/n was always incredibly kind and supportive whenever I lacked thatâthat vulnerabilityâthat powerlessness. It wasnât that I lacked it, per se. Itâs just a difficult thing to tap into. And she was always there to help me through it.â
Your eyes dropped downwards as you felt your chin dip towards your chest, your head tilting slightly to the side as a smile grew on your face. The crowd awed in response to both Fredâs words and your reaction.
Fredâs compliment sent your stomach twisting in knots. You glanced at him, his hand went back to its previous position, resting on your knee, steady and grounding. It reminded you of that quiet morning on set when everything between you shifted.
-
The set was calmer that morning than what you were used to. The haze of sleep still clung to the few crew members needed on set this early. They shuffled about quietly, setting up for the day's shoot. Fred sat on the edge of the prop bed, script in hand, shoulders slumped forward as he stared at the lines that refused to feel right.Â
You were sitting on a couch a few feet away, observing him, script laying forgotten in your lap. His fingers absently tugged at his earlobe, a nervous habit you had come to recognize at this point in your friendship. He had been having difficulties with connecting with Caracallaâs childlike vulnerability. And it wasnât because he didnât know the linesâFred knew them backwards and forwards.Â
It was the emotion, the raw vulnerability of Caracalla crying like a child to Lovie about Geta, that he couldnât quite reach.
You had been running lines all night, but he wasnât performing it to his own incredibly high standards. So you had told him to get a good nightâs rest and that you could practice some more in the morning before call time. You spent some time researching trust building exercises, because you were sure that Fred had it in him. He just had to trust you enough to let it rise to the surface.
After you watched him run through the scene a few more times with no progress, you got a look of determination in your eyes. âAlright!â You inhaled deeply and dropped your script onto the seat next to you. âHow about we try something else?â
Fredâs head snapped up at your voice, the both of you having been silently in each other's company prior to your exclamation. âLike what?â
âTrust exercises!â
He blinked, unimpressed. "y/n, I really don't thinkâ"
âCome on, it wonât hurt to try!â You insisted, knowing that he was worn down and everything felt useless. But you had faith in him. âFor me?â
He rolled his eyes but a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. âAlright, fine.â You cheered quietly at his agreement. âWhat did you have in mind?â
You stood and moved to sit across from him, knees nearly brushing. "Eye contact. No talking, just hold my gaze. Nothing else."
âFor how long?â
âAs long as possible.â
He hesitated for a second but leaned in slightly, blue eyes locking onto yours. The silence stretched. At first, it was easy. The hours you'd spent together on set had built a quiet comfort between you. You were comfortable with each other now, as any pair of friends would be.
But slowly, the air around you shifted.
Had his eyes always been this blue? And so full of emotion? You wondered how you had never noticed these things about him before. The longer you looked, the more your chest tightened, like you were standing too close to the edge of a cliff. You swallowed hard.
Fredâs head tilted, his eyes scanning yours as if he were searching for something hidden beneath the surface. Then, without thinking, he lifted his hand and gently brushed his thumb along your cheek, swiping away an eyelash that had landed there. The touch was featherlight, but it sparked something within you. Something new.
You sucked in a breath, breaking the rhythm of your breathing and pulling Fredâs attention to your lips.Â
He quickly pulled his hand away, clearing his throat. "Sorry. You hadâuhâyou had an eyelash."
You barely managed a nod, heat blooming beneath your skin. The air had changed so suddenly. It was sharp, tense, and neither of you knew how to break the spell.
More crew members were starting to file in, calling out names and times. The usual hustle and bustle on set was rising. Your name was called out from one side and Fredâs from another, instructions to go to wardrobe for you and hair and makeup for Fred.
âIâI should go.â Came Fredâs stuttered response as he slowly got up and backed away, his eyes now finding it difficult to stay on yours.
âUh yeah, me too.â You nodded with pursed lips, just as awkward as he was.
That was different, you pondered as you walked away. You had never seen Fred in that light before. You had never reacted like that to his touch. This was entirely new territory for you. You liked Fred.
Oh no.
How predictable. Catching feelings for your on screen lover. You had to suppress the eye roll. This was something you had promised yourself you wouldnât do once you got into the film industry.
But how could you resist? Fred was so kind and caring, so helpful and affectionate. His smile never failed to bring a similar one to your face. Now that you thought of it, you were a bit surprised it had taken you this long to notice.Â
You had a crush on Fred.
And you were almost positive he didnât see you in that way.Â
This was horrible, you thought as you reached the wardrobe department. You were regretting everything. Not only was Fred no longer just a friend in your eyes, you were sure that you had ruined any chances of him getting this scene right after this. You groaned quietly to yourself as you changed into your costume in the dressing room. What a way to start the day.
But later, as the cameras rolled, Fred laid in your lap, perfectly in character. Something was different about him. He seemed more⌠open. More calm. When you softly carded your fingers through his hair to comfort Caracalla, Fredâs hand drifted to your cheek, his thumb brushing your skin without thinking. Almost in the same way he had that morning.
It wasnât scripted. But you stayed in the scene, unflinching. You wiped away his tears as he moaned about his wretched brother and the empire he was forced to bear the weight of. He was delivering the scene perfectly. Almost like nothing unsavory had transpired between the two of you less than an hour ago.
Ridley, watching from behind the monitors, leaned forward. Eyes glued to the screen. Once the scene had played its course, he called it. "Cut!â His voice boomed through the speakers.
Fred carefully got up from your lap, though not straying far.
An assistant quickly came over with a walkie-talkie. Ridleyâs voice broke through the static, fragmented but understandable. âFred, that wasn't in the script."
Fred sat up quickly, already apologizing. "Sorry, it justâ"
"I liked it. Let's run it again. Same way."
Your eyes flicked to Fred, wide in surprise. He liked it. Ridley liked it. Fred shared his own surprised smile with you.
He finally got it. That obstacle was overcome. And Ridley noticed. It was exciting to have your work appreciated in that way. And he had you to thank, even if you thought otherwise.
And, in the process, something had shifted between you.
-
Then someone asked Paul who his closest friends were on set, pulling you back to the present moment.Â
âYou want me to make enemies of my colleagues now, do you?â Paul chuckled nervously, garnering a laugh from the crowd. âNo, in all seriousness, I made many great friendships on this set. Pedro, of course Denzel, Connie, all great mentors that I can call friends now, I think. But who I spent the most time with on set? That would probably be Fred. Fred and y/n, yeah. Theyâre a package deal, as well. So yeah, it was always us three.â
His answer takes you back to a pivotal moment you had with Paul on set. You knew from then that he had your back, in every situation. Even in matters where he had no stake, you knew you could trust him.Â
-
The afternoon sun hung low in the sky over the ancient stone set, casting long shadows across the Colosseum replica. The usual hum of activity filled the air. You were sitting on Caracallaâs throne overlooking the arena, legs dangling off the edge as you scrolled absentmindedly through your phone.
Paul plopped down beside you with all the grace of a sack of potatoes.
âEasy!â You laughed. âWhat did the chair ever do to you?â
Paul leaned over slightly to peek at your screen, completely disregarding what you had said to him. âWho are you texting?â
âNo one.â You locked your phone quickly.
Paulâs smirk deepened. âSo it is someone.â
âNo, Paul.â You shot him a look.
He tilted his head and grinned. âOh, so itâs Fred.â
Your stomach flipped. âPaul!â you hissed, glancing around to make sure no one heard.
âOh, come on!â Paul leaned back, arms stretched behind him. âWhen are you not texting Fred?â
You groaned as your palms covered your eyes in embarrassment. âItâs notââ you mumbled before smothering your face in your hands.
âNot what?â Paul teased, nudging your knee with his.
âItâs not a big deal.â You exhaled, peeking at him between your fingers. âWeâre just friends. Donât make it weird.â
Paul gave you a flat look.
âFriends?â
âYes!â
He let out a disbelieving laugh. âOkay.â He shrugged, raising his hands in surrender. âOkay, whatever you say.â
âThank you.â You breathed out in relief, glad he was letting it go.
After a short moment of silence, he spoke back up. âWeâre friends, arenât we?â He motioned to the air between the two of you with his pointer finger.Â
âPaulââ You groaned, knowing exactly where he was going with this.Â
âAnd Iâd like to think that Fred and I are friends as well.â He leaned towards your side in his seat now, coming face to face with you. âI donât take long walks with him on the lot, hand in hand. Heâs not giving me his jacket when Iâm cold. He didnât let me braid his hair in the hair and makeup trailer.â
You glared at him. âThat last one was one time.â
âNot the point.â Paul leaned closer. âHeâs different with you.â
You bit your lip, looking away. âI donât know⌠Fredâsâheâs sweet. Heâs friendly. Thatâs just who he is!â
Paul raised his eyebrows. âYeah, but heâs not that sweet or friendly with anyone else.â
You stayed quiet, fingers picking at a loose thread on the hem of your costume.
Paulâs tone softened. âDonât sell yourself short, y/n.â
Your eyes flicked to his, hesitant but curious.
âYouâre smart, talented, and funny. And letâs not pretend the Roman attire doesnât suit you perfectly.â He gave you a playful nudge.
You laughed despite yourself. âShut up.â
âIâm serious.â Paulâs grin changed into something more sincere. âFred should consider himself lucky that you like him.â
Your cheeks burned.
âI just donât want toââ You mumbled and trailed off. âUgh, I donât know. I don't want to make things weird between us.â
âYou two are too stubborn for your own good. Someoneâs gotta give.â Paul mumbled before raising his eyebrows at you. âYou canât yearn forever.âÂ
âCanât I?â
His gaze softened as he took in your expression. âYou really donât see how he looks at you, do you?â
âWhat?â Your brows furrowed and you shot up in your seat. âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â
Paul laughed in shock, pulling back and looking out onto the expanse of the set. âWow.â He muttered to himself. âI canât tell which of you is dumber.â
âHey! I can still hear you!â
âMaybe put some of your other senses to use then, idiot!â Paul retorted as he got out of his seat, the speakers on set calling for him to go someplace or other. He walked away mumbling to himself, leaving you sitting there, staring after him, unsure of what to think anymore.Â
-
âAnd I, of course, was chopped liver.â Joseph spoke solemnly to the crowd, dragging you out of your reminiscence. âPaul loved Pedro, Denzel, Connie, Fred, and y/n. But not poor old Joseph.âÂ
Paul stumbled over his words as he backtracked. âAnd Joseph! Of course, I was always with Joseph!â Paul cried, pleading with an unyielding Joseph. All a bit to keep everyone entertained, you knew.
âNo, no, you canât undo whatâs been done.â Joseph shook his head dramatically at Paul as he motioned for the next person to step up to the microphone. âYou have made an enemy tonight, Paul. I hope youâre happy.â
âMy question is actually for Joseph.â The fan sheepishly spoke, sending Paul an illusionary apologetic smile.
âI have what you can never have, Paul. The love and affection of the general public.â Joseph deadpanned as he looked over at Paul before turning back to the girl at the microphone. âGo on, darling. Whatâs your question?â Joseph smirked as he looked away, leaving Paul rolling his eyes.
âWell, um, Paul and Pedro had extensive physical transformations they had to undergo to prepare for the role.â Joseph rolled his eyes in an exaggerated fashion at the mention of Paul, the joke still running. âWhat did you have to do to prepare for Geta?â
âNot much, actually.â Joseph snorted. âI got really interested in the history of it, but in comparison to Paul and Pedro? Yeah, we got off easy. Didnât we, Fred? Just loads of eyeliner.â
âYeah.â Fred laughed as he nodded. âShaving and eyeliner was our morning routine for a few months.â The crowd, as well as the cast, laughed at Fredâs note. âEmperor Caracalla is clean shaven, but Iâm not.â He chuckled, hand instinctively rubbing at his chin at the thought of his light beard. âSo I had to shave almost everyday, but that was about it for me.â With a glance towards you, you knew exactly what he was thinking about.
-
It had been another late night in Fredâs trailer. You were curled up on his couch, legs tucked under you, as you watched Fred pace back and forth. He had been reviewing lines, occasionally muttering to himself, but you hadnât been paying close attention, not until the soft scruff along his jaw caught the light.
Your eyes narrowed.
âFred,â you called softly.
He paused, blinking at you. âYeah?â
You tilted your head, lips twitching. âYouâre getting a little...scruffy.â
Fred instinctively brought a hand to his chin, rubbing over the light stubble that had started to grow in. âAh, shit.â
âWhat?â You asked, sitting up now.
âSamâs out sick,â He explained. âUsually, they shave me every morning. I donât know how I forgot about it today. Emily needs me to be clean shaven tomorrow.â He mumbled lightly, as if he was only thinking to himself out loud.
You pushed up from the couch, standing up and stretching your arms over your head. âLet me do it.â
Fred blinked. âWhat?â It was like he forgot you were here for a moment. Or, more accurately, he forgot that you were actively listening to his stream of consciousness. He didnât expect you to offer to solve this non-issue for him.Â
âLet me shave you,â you repeated, stepping closer. You gently grabbed his chin, feeling his rough hair between your fingers. You turned his face this way and that, appraising the work youâd have to do if he agreed. âI mean, you can say no if you donât feel comfortable with your fate in my hands.â
He giggled, eyes softening as he watched you study his facial hair. âIs this another trust exercise?â
You smirked, eyes lighting up and looking back into his. âMaybe.â
Fred considered it for a moment, then shrugged. âAlright, Lovie. Have at it.â
The nickname sent a small spark through you, but you shook it off, hiding your grin as you gestured for him to follow you to the little bathroom in the corner of his trailer.
Fred settled on the closed toilet seat after you patted it, a silent command to sit down. He looked up at you with a mixture of amusement and curiosity. You rummaged through the small drawer under the sink, pulling out shaving cream and a razor.
âFear me.â You whispered as you held aloft the blade, watching Fred roll his eyes at the reference.
âYou better not botch this,â he teased, leaning back. He couldnât help but admire you from this angle. The bathroom lighting highlighted your features so beautifully, though he was sure heâd think that of any lighting.
âIt seems easy enough.â You shrugged as you squeezed a bit of shaving cream onto your fingers, rubbing your hands together before gently spreading it over his jaw. The cool foam made him shiver slightly.
Fredâs eyes got wide, his head frozen in your grasp. âYouâre telling me youâve never done this before?â
Your eyes sparkled as you raised your brows excitedly, grin wide. âIâm testing your limits. Is this one of them?â
You saw Fredâs eyes dance back and forth as he thought this through. It seemed the risks outweighed the cons, though not by much, because he nodded apprehensively. âDo your worst.â His eyes widened once more and then he winced. âThatâs just a saying, please actually do your very best. Donât hurt the money maker, alright?â
âShut up,â you rolled your eyes with a snort. âIâll be careful, donât worry. Now hold still.â
Slowly, carefully, you dragged the blade along his jawline, your hand steady. Fredâs eyes flickered to yours, but he didnât move. His breathing slowed, eyes dark and half-lidded as he watched you in silence.
The room felt smaller.
Your thumb gently tilted his chin, guiding him where you needed. His skin was warm beneath your touch.
âYouâre doing well,â you murmured, focusing on the careful strokes of the razor.
âSo are you,â Fred hummed. âYouâre sure youâve never done this before?â
âIâm that good, huh?â You chuckled, feeling him nod in response with the slightest dip of his chin in your palm. âMaybe I should go pro.â
âYouâd leave all the glitz and glamour of being an actress and come shave my scruff every morning?â He asked, laughter lacing his words.
âYouâre giving away Samâs job that easy?â You raised your brows.
âTo you? Of course.â He chuckled lightly. âEverythingâs easy when itâs you.â The words slipped out, softer than he meant. The air thickened, and Fredâs eyes widened a fraction too late. The words weighed heavily in the space around you, stealing the breath from your lungs. Fredâs eyes flickered to yours at your silence. Whatever he said mustâve been the wrong thing to say, he thought, because your facial expression was unreadable to him. âIâm sorââ
âEverythingâs easy when itâs you too, Fred.â You whispered back before he could complete his sentence. With one final swipe of the blade along his jaw, you stepped back from him and the moment. âThere. All done.âÂ
-
You smiled to yourself at the memory, glancing back at Fred next to you. You preferred him with the facial hair, you concluded.Â
âWho was the best mentor on set?â Someone else asked once they had their turn at the microphone, the question not directed towards anyone in particular. But Joseph took it upon himself to answer for someone else.
âI know who Fredâs gonna say.â Joseph whispered into the microphone, causing Fred to roll his eyes.
âIt was me.â Pedro smirked, flexing his biceps and wiggling his eyebrows at Fred. âHe can deny it all he wants, but I pushed that kid when he needed it. Didnât I, Freddie?â
âYou did.â Fred mumbled, a hint of a smile on the edge of his lips.
âHell yeah, I did!â Pedro pumped his fist in the air. âThose stories are private, for Fredâs sake. But Iâm a good mentor!â
âThe best there is.â Fred confirmed, a slight blush colored his cheeks as he snuck a glance at you.
-
It had been a while since the moment Pedro cemented himself as Fredâs mentor in the younger actorâs eyes. He had learned a lot from him. Both as an actor and as a human being.
But something changed between Pedro and Fred one day.Â
A day where you had been utterly exhausted. You were filming in a grand room, the scene depicting a party or gathering of some type, you couldnât recall the details. Everything was as opulent as you would expect with the twin emperors, of course.Â
You and Fred had been up all night, bingeing movie after movie, showing each other your favorites and analyzing every scene. When you saw him the next day on set, you were shocked at how awake he was. Everything felt like it was in slow motion for you. You had never been more appreciative of your lack of lines in this movie.
After a few takes of you blinking slowly in the background, Ridley had called for a break. Something wasnât right with the focus on a few cameras and a monitor or two needed recalibrating. Technical issues that shouldnât take too long to fix. An assistant director said the issue could take about half an hour to resolve, so you turned to Fred, a silent question in your eyes and a slight pout on your lips.
You and Fred cuddled often, but never outside of his trailer. Movie night was just an excuse for you to curl up in his arms at this point, though neither of you ever acknowledged that.Â
But you were so tired, and the pillows on the couch were decorative and stiff. And Fred was right there. It would only be thirty minutes. Just a quick lie down.
Fred saw your face and knew exactly what you wanted from him. He leaned back into the couch and patted at his lap, giving you space to lie down. It didnât even register to him that anyone would notice nor care.Â
His hands instinctively went to brush his fingers through your hair, your nightly routine as of recently. With his cologne and his warmth enveloping you, as well as the soothing motion of his fingers against your scalp, it was less than five minutes later that you were snoozing away.
Pedro looked over and saw the two of you cozied up together and couldnât help but roll his eyes at the scene. He had been trying to throw hints at Fred for weeks about the two of you. It was clear as day. But neither of you was brave enough to bring it up, fearing the otherâs lack of reciprocation. If only you two could see what everyone else saw.
He shared a look with Paul, who was watching along with him. âGo talk some sense into him, Pascal.â Paul snickered lightly, giving Pedro a slight shove in your direction.Â
âIâll try my best, Mescal.â Pedro sighed.Â
âIs she out?â He asked quietly once he had settled down beside Fred on the couch, not wanting to wake you up.
âLike a light.â Fred muttered, eyes never leaving your sleeping profile. âItâs my fault, really. Kept her up all night.â
âWhat did you watch this time?â Pedro smiled, knowing of the private movie nights held every evening in the trailer next to his.
âThe Godfather.â Fred answered. âActually, both of them.â
âThe sequel is amazing.â Pedro nodded, but he wasnât really engrossed in the conversation as much as he was in Fred. It was hard not to admire Fred as he admired you.
âDefinitely.â Fred nodded, not even sparing Pedro a glance. The boy was in love and he didnât even know it. But so were you, to be fair.
âSheâs just as bad as you are, you know? Thinking too much, scared to say something first.â Pedro mused, eyeing you curled up in Fredâs lap. You never looked as comfortable as you did in Fredâs presence. Pedro leaned in and his voice dropped an octave. âYou should tell her.â
âHuh?â Fred is finally pulled out of the trance you had unknowingly put him in, snapping up to look at Pedro for the first time since he sat down. âTell her what?â
âIâm saying,â Pedro emphasized each word, âSheâs just as oblivious as you are.â
âWhat does that mean?â
âIt means you should tell her how you feel!â Fred instinctively cupped his hand around your ear, guarding you from Pedroâs sudden laughter like it was second nature. You hadnât even flinched, too deep in your slumber to notice. But Pedro did, he noticed Fredâs subtle protectiveness. It was sweet. And increasingly frustrating.
Fred scoffed, his cheeks glaringly crimson. âI think Iâd prefer not risking those odds.â
âBuddy, trust me. Every single odd is in your favor.â
âDonât quote the hunger games at me right now.â Fred rolled his eyes.Â
Pedro frowned in frustration, leaning closer to Fred. âYou really donât see how gone she is for you?â
A few moments of silence pass between them. Fredâs eyes on you, and Pedroâs eyes on Fredâs lovesick expression. â...You really think she likes me back?â
âSheâs not sleeping in my lap, is she?â Pedro smirked, standing back up. âJust think about it, would you?â
-
Fred buried his face in his hands to cover up his flushed cheeks. You shot him a concerned look, but he shook his head to ease your worries. You didnât know about what had transpired between Fred and Pedro in the same way Fred didnât know about what happened between you and Paul. And you both wanted to keep it that way. Too embarrassed that everyone else seemed to know of your affection for the other before you did.
âDid any unscripted scenes make it into the movie?â someone asked, pulling you back to the crowd once more.
You and Fred immediately glance back at each other with shy smiles.
Paul talked about the scene where he kissed Pedroâs forehead in the arena, even though it was technically cut.Â
But then he turned to the rest of the table. âWhat about you, Fred?â He asked pointedly, noticing how you had looked at each other when the question was asked. âYou had a scene they left in, didnât you?â
Fred chuckled nervously, scratching behind his ear. âYeah, a few made it in. But⌠you probably mean when I called her âLovie,â right?â The crowd roars in response and Fredâs ears turn pink as he tugs at them. âYeah, about thatâŚâ
-
Fred had started calling you Lovie after that day he was having difficulties with that one scene. He hadnât even realized when it started, but now, it was just second nature.
Today was the day you would be filming a scene you were dreading. The day Caracalla, the sick emperor you had spent months embodying a devotion to, would die. And you were taking it hard. You had somehow made a place for him in your heart.Â
Fred thought it was sweet how your affections grew for his character. He assured you that he understood, working on a long term project like this always leaves an imprint on actors.Â
The filming schedule on set didnât rely on the order of the scenes, but more on the availability of certain sets and certain crew members. So even though this was nowhere near the last scene you had to film with Fred as Caracalla, nor was filming coming to an end anytime soon, you were filming Fredâs last scene in the movie.
The wardrobe department was a maze of fabric and armor, with soft R&B muffling through a nearby speaker, someone no doubt wanting to lighten the atmosphere in the stuffy warehouse.Â
You sat hunched in a chair, eyes locked on the hem of your sweater, fingers twisting the fabric. You and Fred were waiting together to be given your costumes for the day.
It all felt so much heavier than you expected.
âYou okay?â
Fredâs voice was gentle, but you didnât lift your head. You just let out a quiet, shaky laugh.
âIâm being ridiculous.â
He came to crouch in front of you, elbows on his knees, watching you carefully. âNo, youâre not.â
You sighed, pressing your palms to your face. âIâm getting emotional over the death of a villain in a movie.â
Fredâs head tilted. âHey, we both know he wasnât really a villain.â His voice carried a soft laugh with it.
Your lips twitched upward. âHe was just misunderstood.â
âAnd syphilitic.â
You let out a wet laugh, wiping your face. âYeah, and that.â
Fred grinned, but his eyes didnât leave yours. Slowly, he stood and offered his hand. âDance with me, Lovie.â
You blinked at him.
âWhat?â
âCome on,â he urged softly, fingers still outstretched.
The nickname barely registered in your mind. It wasnât the first time heâd used it, but it felt different now, like a natural extension of you.
You slipped your hand into his, letting him pull you to your feet.
Fredâs palms settled at your waist, hesitant at first. But when you leaned in, looping your arms around his neck, his grip tightened, like letting go wasnât an option. You swayed together, slow and easy, surrounded by walls of costumes and muffled music.
âHow dumb is this?â you whispered, though the corners of your mouth lifted.
âItâs not dumb, Lovie.â Fred shook his head slightly, his hand gently smoothing over your hair. âNothing you do is dumb.â
The nickname lingered in the air.
You exhaled, resting your forehead against his collarbone.
âIâd take care of him so well,â you murmured, only slightly serious.
Fred let out a soft chuckle, his breath warming the top of your head.
âYou did, Lovie,â he whispered back. âYou did take care of him.â
And later, when you filmed the scene, the two of you covered in fake blood and silks, you couldnât differentiate your characterâs tears from your own. It all felt like the end of something. It felt like mourning.
When Fred said âLovieâ instead of âMy loveâ as he wilted in your arms, you didnât even register the deviation in the script. Only when it was over, when Ridleyâs voice crackled through one of the hand held radios, did it hit you.
âBeautiful. Keep calling her that, Fred.â Ridley commended. âLovie. Shouldâve thought of that myself.â
-
âSo what he means to say,â you spoke to the crowd, âis that my dramatics fundamentally affected the movie.â
âShe was actually so sad,â Fred frowned, âIt was heartbreaking. It was an honest mistake, though. Calling her âLovieâ.â
âBut did you tell them where it came from?â Connie asked, teasingly looking at Fred.
âWe uhââ He chuckled bashfully. ây/n and I called her character âLovieâ, because it was hard to workshop a character with no name.â
âAnd then âLovieâ stopped being the characterâs nickname,â Pedro chimed in with further explanation, âAnd it started being y/nâs.â
âI thought it was so sweet.â Connie sighed. âAnd it suits her so well.âÂ
âRidley loved it, too.â Denzel joined. âI heard him grumbling over the radio. Something about how he didnât think of it before.â
âNo one cried when Fred cut off my head, though.â Joseph shrugged with a shake of his head. âTake from that what you will.â
âActually, I did.â You corrected him with a smirk. âDonât underestimate my propensity to get emotional when it comes to film.â
âDid you?â Joseph perked up, leaning forwards to look at you across the table. âDid she really?â He asked Fred, like he was the authority on all things true about you.
âOh yeah.â Fred nodded. âAnd the scene where Caracalla asks where his brother is. Inconsolable. Sad movies are her weakness. You shouldâve seen her when we watched âMy Girlâ.â
âDonât bring that up right now.â You closed your eyes and shook your head solemnly, raising a palm in Fredâs direction. âHe wasnât wearing his goddamn glasses, Freddie.â
âItâs alright, Lovie,â Fred chuckled, speaking away from the microphone as he leaned closer to you. His voice dropped lower, only for you to hear. âWeâll watch a happy one tonight. Non-negotiable.â
You nodded at him, a smile growing on your face. Fred never failed to make you feel special, like you were a priority to him. Your choices always came above his, no matter how hard you insisted. It was so easy to love him.
âAnd our final question to wrap up the panelââ
âMake it a good one!â Pedro called into the microphone, a laugh rippling among the crowd in response.
âCome on up, donât be shy.â The producer smiled at the young girl last in line to ask a question. âWhat did you want to ask the cast, honey?â
âWhat was your first kiss like?â
An âawâ passed through the crowd as well as the cast on a stage. But a slight sweat began to coat your palms. You had been admiring Fred and his kindness only a moment ago. So tranquil, almost like you werenât sitting in front of a crowd of hundreds of people. But this one question sent a shock of electricity up your spine. You were an actress, you reminded yourself. They wouldnât know if you told the truth or not, would they?Â
You heard Paul mention a school dance, and Pedro talked about a pool party during summer break. Denzel mentioned his wife, Connie spoke briefly of a night in Paris when she was a teenager. Joseph and Fred had similar stories, a stage kiss for a school play and a local production.Â
When your turn came, you stuttered over your words. It didnât feel like you had enough time to make something up, at least not something believable. âI guessâuhâtechnically, it was on screen.â
âTechnically?â Joseph asked, confused.Â
âYeah,â You swallowed as heat bloomed across your cheeks. Your lips were upturned ever so slightly as you recalled that day. âMy scene partner offered to practice with me before filming. It was much sweeter than it sounds.â You laughed before letting out a sigh. âItâs a memory Iâll cherish forever.â
-
It was the night before you would film your first intimate scene with Fred. The two of you were sitting on his couch, scripts open but long forgotten. The quiet of the trailer is filled with the faint hum of the air conditioning and the occasional rustle of pages as one of you shifts. You could feel Fredâs presence next to you, close enough that your knees brush when either of you adjusts your position.
âI donât think Caracallaâs ever had anyone look at him the way Lovie does,â Fred mused, breaking the silence. His voice is soft, contemplative, like heâs voicing a thought meant only for himself.
You glanced at him, your heart skipping at the sincerity in his tone. âWhat do you mean?â
He leaned back, running a hand through his hair, his blue eyes drifting toward the ceiling as if searching for the right words. âItâs like⌠even through the haze of his sickness and his trauma, heâs desperate to be seen. And sheâs the only one who really does that for him. He doesnât know how to love, not really, but he tries in his own way.â His gaze shifted to yours, a small, delicate frown tugging at his lips. âItâs tragic really.â
Your chest tightened at the vulnerability in his expression, the way heâs peeling back a layer of himself in his explanation. âI think Lovie sees that too,â you said softly, barely above a whisper. âAnd maybe thatâs why she stays.â
Fredâs smile faltered, his brows furrowing as he studies you. âYou think she chooses to stay?â
âI thinkâŚâ You paused as you pondered. âI think sheâs grown to love him somehow, through this strange, abusive, co-dependent⌠thing theyâve got going on. And sheâs choosing to stay. What you do with love is a choice,â you replied, your voice tinged with something wistful and raw. âNot everyone handles it as carefully as they should.â
The air between you shifted, growing heavier, thicker, as the weight of your words lingered.Â
It didnât feel like you were talking about your characterâs anymore. Fredâs eyes didnât leave yours after you spoke, and you suddenly realized how close he was sitting. His knee brushed yours again, and this time, neither of you moved away.
âDoes it scare you?â he asked, his voice impossibly quiet.
You swallowed hard, your heart pounding against your ribs. âWhat?â
âGetting it wrong,â he said, his gaze searching for something telling in your eyes. âLove, I mean.â
You felt the heat rise in your cheeks, but you held his gaze, unable to look away. âYeah,â you admitted, your voice barely audible. âIt does scare me, I suppose.â
Fred nodded, a flicker of understanding passed over his face. âMe too.â
There was a beat of silence, and then, without thinking, Fred reached out, his hand brushed against yours where it rested on the cushion between you. His touch was light, almost tentative, but it sent a jolt through you.
âI guess thatâs why itâs easier on set,â he murmured, his thumb grazing your knuckles. âYou get to pretend, just for a little while, that you know what youâre doing.â
You laughed softly, but it caught in your throat when you saw the way he was looking at youâlike you were the only thing in the room worth noticing.
âFredâŚâ you started, your voice trailing off as his fingers curled gently around yours. âCan I tell you something?â
âAnything.â
âIâm nervous about tomorrow.â You confessed, eyes falling down to your lap.
âI know.â He replied.Â
You furrowed your brows and lifted your head to look at him questioningly. âYou know?â
âYeah y/n, of course I know.â Fred smiled softly, reassuringly, âI think I would be a bad friend if I couldnât tell that you were nervous. And Iâve seen your filmography, I know you havenât done this sort of thing before.â
You didnât know if it was a relief or not that he thought you were only nervous about the shoot.Â
âUh, yeah,â you nodded, eyes flickering downwards. âNever for a project, no.â You hoped he wouldnât catch the half truth. Or maybe you hoped that he would. You werenât sure how you felt about all of this.
You liked Fred. You knew this about yourself now. And sometimes, you think that maybe, just maybe, he might like you back. Paul never failed to seize an opportunity to tell you that, of course. But you were too scared to make a fool of yourself. And, selfishly, you didnât want to lose what you had with Fred. But now, things were progressing.Â
Fred was going to be your first kiss.
And that would be hard to overcome. Especially when you already liked him so much. You were afraid that you would imprint on him like a duckling, never seeing anyone else in the same light. And then what would you do?
ây/n?â Fred asked, his eyebrows knitted together in concern. âAre you alright?â You hummed in response, eyes still unfocused. âDo you wanna do a trust exercise or something?â
âWhat?â You questioned, finally pulling yourself back to the moment.
âFor tomorrow?â Fred explained, raising his eyebrows as he spoke. âTo help you feel better about it?â
You thought about it for a moment before nodding. This might be just what you need. It was so helpful with Fred that last time, and hopefully it could be for you as well. âYou wanna do the eye contact one?â
âHow about another one?â Fred asked, leaning back against the back of the couch.
âWhat did you have in mind?â
âTell me a secret.â
âWhat?â You balked. âWhat kind of exercise is that?â
âA secret for a secret.â Fred shrugged. âHow about I start?â You nodded, though apprehensively. âIâm nervous for tomorrow, too.â
âAre you really?â You raised a brow at him. ââCause if your secretâs just a lie to make me feel better, then youâre cheating.â
Fred giggled and shook his head. âNo, I really am.â
âWhy?â You tilted your head inquisitively at him.
âNope, I already told you my secret.â He pursed his lips and shook his head again. âNow itâs your turn.â
You shifted uncomfortably, tucking your legs beneath you on the couch, the script forgotten in your lap. Fredâs gentle, observant gaze had a way of making you feel bare in a way that wasnât unsettling, but intimateâlike he could read every thought you tried to hide.
âI guess itâs not just in front of the camera,â you admitted softly, fiddling with the corner of a page. The confession felt inevitable, like it had been lingering between the two of you for weeks, just waiting for a moment like this to surface. âI mean⌠I havenât done this before. Any of it. Not just on screen.â
Fred's eyes softened as he sat up slightly, resting his forearms on his knees, his focus entirely on you. âYou mean youâyouâve never been kissed before?â His voice was quiet, not prying but careful, like he didnât want to scare you away.
You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak.
For a moment, Fred didnât respond. He simply watched you, and you could feel the weight of his attention, not heavy or oppressive. His brows furrowed slightly as if he were choosing his next words carefully.
âThatâs⌠okay, you know,â he said finally. There was no pity in his tone, only a steady reassurance. âI know how intimidating this can be, even for people whoâve done it before.â
âItâs justââ you sighed, leaning back into the couch, exasperated with yourself. âItâs not that I think I canât do it. I know I can, or at least I hope I can. I just donât want to look ridiculous. I want it to look real.â
Fred smiled faintly, his head tilting as he considered your words. âItâs admirable, you know?â You hummed in question at him. âThe fact that youâre sacrificing your first kiss for the production.â
âItâs embarrassing is what it is.â You rolled your eyes with a snort.Â
âWhat?â He gasped quietly, the air still feeling ever so delicate between the two of you. âYou're giving it away for Sir Ridley Scott! Heâd be honored if he knew, I think.â
âHeâd be confused if he knew.â You corrected him. âAn actress in her early twenties who hasnât been kissed before. I think I could apply to the Guinness book of world records.â
âHey, come on.â He shook his head at you sympathetically. âYouâre not breaking any records, trust me. Thereâs no deadline for this kind of thing.â He shifted closer as he spoke, his hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck in that familiar gesture youâd come to recognize as a sign of his sincerity, âButâŚI could helpâonly if you want.â
Your heart skipped. âHelp?â
He nodded. âI mean⌠if it makes you feel more comfortable, we couldââ he paused, exhaling as if second-guessing himself. âI could be your first kiss. Just to take some of the pressure off tomorrow. Itâs not a big deal. Only if youâre okay with it, of course.â
The room felt impossibly quiet, save for the distant hum of the trailerâs air conditioning. You swallowed, your pulse thrumming in your ears. It wasnât just the offer that stunned youâit was the ease in Fredâs voice, the way he treated it like something simple. Just Fred, offering to help you in whatever way he could. It was so sweet. He was always so sweet to you. But you couldnât. Not like this
You felt the heat rise in your cheeks, but you inevitably shook your head. âThatâs really sweet of you, Fred. But I think I want my first real kiss to be with someone who actually really likes me, not a pity kiss from my scene partner. Tomorrow doesnât count if I donât count it. Itâs fine, really. I was just in my head about itââ
Fred laughed before he could stop himself, interrupting your rambling. âYou really are oblivious, arenât you?â
âWhat?â You asked dumbly, not expecting him to say something like that after your vulnerable confession.
âWhy do you think Iâm nervous about tomorrow?â He asked incredulously, another laugh escaping him. âItâs because I actually really like you, y/n!â
Oh.
It was like someone knocked the wind out of you.Â
You had hoped that he liked you back, maybe even thought it might be a possibility in the back of your mind, but to hear him say those words out loud? You were speechless. It was like a dream come true. All those months of pining for him, all that yearning, was reciprocated this whole time.Â
ây/n,â Fred murmured, his voice low, soothing. âCan I be your first real kiss? Please?â He parroted your words back to you once more, breathlessly. You felt the blood rush into your head.
You managed a weak nod, barely able to meet his gaze. He waited a beat, letting the moment settle before he leaned in, his hand lifting to cup the side of your face. His touch was featherlight, his thumb tracing slow circles against your cheekbone. The intimacy of the gesture almost unraveled you.
Fred's lips brushed yours tentatively, the kiss soft and unhurried. His movements were gentle yet assured, he understood that this was new for you and he didnât mind guiding you through it. His other hand found your waist, steadying you, and you felt yourself melting into him.
As the kiss deepened, Fredâs grip on your waist tightened subtly, anchoring you as he shifted. Without breaking contact, he eased you forward, guiding you into his lap until you straddled him, your knees on either side of his hips and your hands resting tentatively against his shoulders. His fingers flexed against your hips, drawing you closer until there was barely any space left between you.
Your lungs felt tight as Fred pulled away just enough to rest his forehead against yours. His breath fanned over your lips and his hands lingered against your waist, sending butterflies crashing into each other in your stomach. You werenât sure how long you stayed like thatâlong enough for the rapid beat of your heart to settle into something softer, steadier.
âWas that okay?â Fred asked softly, his voice just above a whisper.
You nodded before opening your eyes to meet his gaze. There was something tender in the way he looked at you, and it made the words on the tip of your tongue feel less terrifying.
âCan we⌠do it again?â The question slipped out before you could stop it, and your stomach flipped as you realized how vulnerable you sounded.
Fred's lips quirked into a soft smile as his hand slid up, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. âYeah,â he murmured, a soft laugh coloring his words as he brushed his nose against yours. âYeah, we can do it again. As many times as you want.â
His lips found yours once more, and this time, there was no hesitation. Fred kissed you with more certainty, his hands firm as they traced the curve of your back, pulling you closer still. You could feel his quiet desire in the way he held you, the way his fingers flexed when you deepened the kiss.
You were glad that confession made its way out before you could stop it.
The next morning, you woke up with a strange mix of nerves and excitement bubbling beneath your skin.Â
The day was finally here.Â
The scene youâd been dreadingâand quietly anticipatingâwas actually happening. But unlike the restless nights leading up to it, you felt more prepared. More steady.
You had filmed a few suggestive scenes with Fred before. As a syphilitic emperor, Caracalla had the propensity to be very comfortable and open in his desires. But you werenât asked to be nude for any of those scenes, unlike this one. The complexity of not even speaking, yet being so exposed on screen was a little difficult to wrap your head around.Â
This scene was supposed to depict you and Caracalla in the privacy of his lavish quarters when Joseph as Geta barges in and angrily informs his brother of Acacius and Lucilla's betrayal. You and Fred were to be undressed and only covered by sheets from the waist down.Â
Clara, the intimacy coordinator, had explained that Fred would be leaned back in bed, propped up by a few pillows, while you sat in his lap. The scene would open with a close up shot of the two of you kissing gently, the camera slowly pulling back with you as you leaned back. Your lower bodies would be covered with various messy sheets, depicting the long night the characters had already had before the intrusion.
The scene was much more than physical, it was also meant to show the charactersâ co-dependent nature. Even when his concubine was on him, he needed his hands to be on her, both showing his dominance and control over her as well as his reluctance to pull away.
Fredâs kiss lingered in the back of your mind like a warm ember, small but constant. While you still felt the nerves creep in when you thought about todayâs shoot, there was a quiet confidence blooming alongside them.
When you arrived on set, you noticed immediately how different the atmosphere felt. The crew was smaller, the lighting dimmerâintentional choices to provide you with a layer of privacy.Â
Clara was already on set, organizing the sheets and setting up the space. She glanced your way, smiling comfortingly, but she didnât say anything. She knew of your apprehension and had been worried about you. But she noticed something new in you today. Maybe there was a shift in your energy or a slight lift in your posture, she wasnât sure. Either way, she kept her observations to herself.
Fred was already there, standing near the bed where the scene would take place with Joseph. He smiled the second he saw you, that familiar softness in his expression grounding you more than anything else could.
âMorning,â he greeted, voice low and calm.
âMorning,â you replied, a shy tight lipped smile on your face as you stepped closer to him. Joseph greeted you but was quickly ushered away to his mark behind the door, not giving him enough time to notice the change between you and Fred.Â
Clara approached you and spoke with her usual calm authority, a roll of skin-safe tape in hand. âAlright, letâs get these sheets secured,â she said, gesturing for you to adjust your robe.
But you stopped her with a small, assured smile. âI donât think weâll need the tape today.â Last nightâs events forged a confidence deep within you. You knew your team had your back. You knew Fred had your back.Â
Clara paused, blinking at you as if processing your words. Her sharp gaze flickered briefly to Fred, who stood a few feet away, his hands stuffed into his robe pockets.Â
He tilted his head at your words, his brows furrowing slightly as he stepped closer. âYou sure?â His voice was low, warm with concern.
You nodded, holding his gaze. âYeah, I feel more confident now.â
Clara smirked faintly, a flicker of understanding in her expression, but she didnât press. Fredâs gesture was subtle but telling. âAlright, just let me know if anything changes.â She said with a sense of finality before stepping away to oversee the set.Â
Fred watched her retreat, then turned back to you with a concerned glint in his eye. He brushed your arm lightly to grab your attention. âYou really donât want the tape?â Fred asked again, his tone tinged with genuine care.
âYeah,â You nodded with determination. âI can do it.â
He studied you for a beat longer, as if making sure you werenât pushing yourself too hard, then smiled softly. âIâm proud of you.âÂ
âYou helped.â You confessed in a whisper, a smile curling your lips upward.
âYeah?â He asked in surprise, his grin only grew wider when you nodded in confirmation. âGlad I could be of service. We could sneak off and practice some more, if youâd like-â
âFred!â You cut him off before he could say anymore, scandalised yet amused all the same. âYouâre horrible!â
âAnd youâre cute, Lovie.â He smirked as an assistant pulled him away, cutting your conversation short.Â
Another assistant pulled you forward as well, telling you to get into place so they could adjust the lighting based on your position. Fred smiled encouragingly at you from the bed he was laying in as you approached. An assistant helped you get into position, straddling Fredâs lap with your knees sinking into the mattress on either side of his hips. The position wasnât unlike how you had found yourself last night in Fredâs trailer. With a quick glance into Fredâs eyes, you knew he was thinking the same thing.
The makeup artists fluttered around you, dabbing at your skin with soft brushes, unknowingly keeping the moment from becoming too intimate. The lighting crew adjusted their angles, the soft glow from overhead casting shadows that added depth to the space.
Fredâs hands found your waist instinctively, his thumbs brushing circles against the fabric of your robe. His touch was grounding, steady, and it calmed the last bit of tension lingering in your chest.
âYou okay?â he asked, low enough that only you could hear.
You met his gaze, but your eyes kept drifting lower, to his lips. The memory of yesterday was still present at the forefront of your mind, your pulse quickened at the thought of doing it again.
Fred noticed immediately, a small chuckle escaping him. âYouâre adorable.â He repeated his sentiment from earlier.
âIâm justââ You flushed, embarrassed at being caught. You were unable to find the words to explain the giddy excitement stirring in you. âI guess Iâm excited to start.â
Fredâs smirk deepened, but he didnât push it, not wanting to tease you any further. âGood.â His grip on your waist tightened subtly, the weight of his hands calming you.
As the cameras rolled, Fredâs lips found yours, his kiss was steady and deliberate, his hands guiding you gently as your body pressed closer to his. You pulled away from him when you heard your cue, the camera nearest to you swooshing in the air as it moved backwards. Soon enough, you heard the loud bang of the bedroom doors bursting open. You startled in Fredâs lap, the reaction a mix of yours and Lovieâs. For a brief moment, you werenât acting on a set. It was just the two of you before Joseph barged in.Â
Fred cradled you against his chest, covering your exposed form from Geta, like the scene called for. You couldnât hear what Joseph was saying over the loud heartbeat in your ears, but you knew what the script expected of you and when. Fredâs warm skin and chest hair brushed against your arms as you huddled close to him. It was intoxicating.Â
After the first take, you gently pulled back and shifted Fredâs position. âKeep your hands here,â you instructed, placing his hands firmly on your hips in view of the camera. âTo show that heâs in control.â
âOkay,â he nodded, always open to your ideas. âYou should try leaning into me more,â he added, his hands guiding your hips to tilt forward. âIt makes it look like heâs really keeping her there.â
You furrowed your brows as you digested his notes. âAlright. Should I put more weight into it?â
âYeah, exactly.â He nodded in encouragement. âDonât hold back, Iâve got you.â
The next take felt even more intense. Fredâs hands pressed into your waist with more dominance. And you fell into him, relinquishing control, matching the energy youâd both discussed.
Between takes, he was quick to adjust the sheets, shielding you with practiced ease. Each touch lingered longer than necessary, his fingers brushing against your bare skin beneath the fabric, and every time you glanced up at him, his eyes held the same quiet intensity and kindness.
Joseph and Clara shared looks after each run through, the two of them noticing the shift in dynamic between the two of you.
âTheyâre different today.â Joseph whispered to Clara.Â
âTheyâre more in sync.â Clara tilted her head as she observed the two of you. âAlmost likeâŚâ
âAlmost like theyâve been practicing.â Joseph smirked.
âAbout damn time, if you ask me.â Clara huffed, though amused all the same.
-
All these months later, and the memory was still fresh in your mind. And apparently, in someone elseâs as well. ây/n?â Josephâs voice broke the quiet hum of the green room. You were standing at the tea station, carefully deliberating over how much sugar and milk to add to your cup when he approached, his tone unusually hesitant. âCan I ask you something?â
âOf course.â You didnât look up, focused on swirling the tea in your cup. âAs long as itâs not about my sugar-to-milk ratio, because Iâll have you know, itâs perfect.â
Joseph chuckled softly, scratching the back of his neck. âNo, itâs not that. Itâs⌠uhâŚâ He hesitated, searching for the right words. âYou can totally tell me to fuck off and mind my own business if you donât want to answer.â
âI gotta hear the question first, Joseph,â you replied with a playful smile, still not turning to face him. âBut I promise I wonât be offended.â
He took a deep breath. âWas Fred your first kiss?â
Your hand froze mid-air over the sugar tin, the question catching you off guard. You finally glanced up at him, eyebrows raised. âWhat makes you think that?â
âItâs justâŚâ Joseph shifted uncomfortably, his usual confidence replaced with something softer. âWhat you said back thereâon stageâabout cherishing the memory forever. It sounded a lot like you were talking about Fred.â He looked down at the tea he was fixing, his words careful, almost shy. âAnd honestly, it reminded me of that day on set.â
âWhat day?â
âWhen we filmed the scene in Caracallaâs bedroom.â His eyes flicked back to yours, searching for confirmation. âYou and Fred were⌠different that day. There was this energy between you two, like something had changed. I thought maybe youâd finally, you know, come to your senses about each other, but what you said on stageâit made me wonder.â
You bit the inside of your cheek, hiding the small smile tugging at your lips. âWell, youâre not entirely wrong.â You added a splash of milk to your tea. âWe did come to our senses that day.â
Josephâs eyebrows shot up, his curiosity piqued. âAnd⌠was heâyou knowâŚ?â
You glanced at him, tilting your head in mock thought. âWhile I appreciate your sudden foray into investigative journalism,â you teased, âI think the answer to that question is classified.â
Before Joseph could reply, Paulâs voice cut through the moment. âOrâŚâ he started, strolling toward you with an infuriating smirk. âThe answer is a three-letter word.â
âFuck off, Paul!â you shot back, your laughter bubbling up as you grabbed your cup of tea.
Joseph groaned, shaking his head at Paul. âYouâre relentless.â
âAnd mean,â you added with a grin as you turned to head toward Fred, who had just entered the room and only caught the tail end of the conversation. He gave you an inquisitive look as he draped his arm over your shoulders.
âWhat are we cussing Paul out for this time?â Fred asked, his voice light and teasing. He leaned down, pretending to whisper conspiratorially, âWhatâd he do?â
âHeâs mean,â you said with a giggle, your words laced with amusement. âAre you ready to leave?â
Fred nodded. âYeah, the carâs waiting out back.â
âYouâre leaving already?â Paulâs mock-pout followed you as you grabbed your bag.
âWeâre literally seeing you guys at dinner in, what, two hours?â you shot back, rolling your eyes.
âAnd tomorrow morning,â Fred added, steering you toward the door. âHopefully youâll survive without us until then.â
As you walked out, Josephâs amused voice reached you. âFor the record, Iâm still rooting for that classified answer.â
Fred glanced down at you, his brow raised. âWhatâs he talking about?â
âItâs nothing,â you said, stifling a laugh. âTheyâre just being nosy.â
Fred didnât push, his signature crooked grin tugging at his lips as he leaned closer, his voice warm against your ear. âWell, whatever it is, Iâm on your side.â
As always, you thought, smiling softly to yourself.
As you stepped out into the cool evening air, Fredâs arm still draped over your shoulders, you couldnât help but glance up at him. The way he fit so effortlessly into your lifeâhis steady presence, his quiet reassurancesâmade you wonder how you ever doubted his feelings for you. Looking back now, it seemed almost ridiculous. Every glance, every touch, every word had been there all along, waiting for you to notice.
âReady?â he asked softly, opening the car door for you and offering you a hand.
You nodded, a quiet laugh escaping your lips at his antics. âYeah. Iâm ready.â
How could you not be, when everything he did made it so easy to fall for him?
#fred hechinger#fred hechinger gladiator#emperor caracalla#emperor caracalla x reader#fred hechinger x reader#fred hechinger x you#gladiator ii#gladiator 2#paul mescal#pedro pascal#joseph quinn#reader insert#ahhh#i hope u liked ittt#it was long as hell bro#unexpected#unusual of me#im not a double digit k writer#tell me ur thoughts pls#even if theyre bad#but be gentle with me#i am sensitive#also#how obvious is the projection in the chapter lol#girls in their early twenties who have never been touched by a guy rise up!
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we know EA interfered a lot with veilguard, i definitely do attribute the "sanitization" of the setting directly to EA's meddling, i even think to some extent taash's quest and the corporate representation feel of it all was influenced heavily by EA and not just weekes. and i think a lot of the companions being so shallow and their quests feeling half-baked is also mostly due to time constraints and rewrites/cut content-- the writers genuinely did do the best they could with what they had, and i feel for them and their frustrations. but. there are also just a lot of really bad decisions made elsewhere, too. like i said the racism has always been present in these games and it's always been a problem, it's literally baked into the worldbuilding, though i can definitely agree that some of it was potentially made worse specifically in veilguard due to constant rewrites and the loss of context and cohesion, but like... it was always there to begin with... and it's not "unfair" for players to point this out.
both things can be true-- EA absolutely fucked these people over, and we shouldn't be speculating conspiracy theory-type shit about the writers hating fans or whatever when we know. we know EA interfered, we know there were creative differences, we know they ruthlessly laid off a lot of the people that poured their blood, sweat, and tears into this game! EA is both stupid and actively malicious, they get no sympathy from me. veilguard absolutely is a casualty of the current state of the gaming industry. and i also think there were a lot of poor writing decisions made independently of that as well, that are fair to criticize and question. a lot of these problems are the same problems we've seen in every single DA game, and this consistency makes it clear this is not just an issue with corporate overreach.
but i really feel for everyone involved with making this game, this shit was clearly a very long and tiring fight, i can't even imagine the kind of constant corporate shitstorm they had to deal with for ten fucking years, and personally there is no NDA in the world that would keep me from talking shit. so these guys are stronger than me lol
#sorry i know these are just silly posts on tumblr dot edu but its important to me that people know im mostly being flippant#in some of my negative comments#like i dont think the writers are evil or whatever theyre just humans with biases that are very apparent in some of the things they write#and i also understand they got shafted big time and no one deserves the treatment they got#i could never be a narrative designer or writer in the gaming industry i would be so sickkkkkkkkkk#i follow this one author. the guy who wrote warm bodies. and he sent out a newsletter recently about how he was working on#a huge gaming project for a UK based company#and then the game got scrapped and they sealed all of his writing in a vault to just Never be released#oh i would be on the NEWS!!!!!! i couldn't do it. these people may be insufferable at times but they have my respect#for dealing with this shit. i could never#da posting
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Typing a long document: yes. YES! Writing is my passion :)
Editing a long document: Pain. Hell. Death.
#editing#writer#writing#writeblr#novel#guys im over minimum novel length and i have been editing for years#what even is grammar
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oh ok so its the usual no-homo bullshit you always hear, good to know.
#wwdits#what we do in the shadows#guillermo de la cruz#nandor the relentless#nandermo#look im a reasonable guy#i dont get worked up easily and ive been around writers rooms and understand the pressures of writing a big show like wwdits#hell i even liked season 4#but this has got to be one of the most offensive bs ive read that wasnt from 2015#âits only a small (but vocal) amount of people that actually want to see them togetherâ#âtheir love isnt ~s*xual~ they dont need to kiss its more ~profound~ than thatâ#âyou donât REALLY want to see them together! (thats gross!)â#also âthe power dynamic is ~problematic~â??? are you kidding me???#jfc its like someone literally got this out of the queerbating handbook from 2010#and like yeah i know wwdits isnt queerbating but its queerness feels more performative when it treats an actual central relationship#like its a gross kinkything only a few freaks on the internet want#instead of a legitimate plausible story that deserves exploration#nandermo should be a triumph - a victory for the characters and something the writers should be pleased with writing#notâŚthis.#like itâs some problem pressured reluctantly upon them that needs to be carefully defused#this has left a bad taste in my mouth
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:) i certainly have no issue dressing in drag :)
^guy who has no issue dressing in drag btw
glenn said that dennis' drag name is victoria von hemen btw
(Source)
#glenn howerton#guy who should get to dress in drag#im just. ill never be over the fact that glenn wrote Two episodes in season 3 that involve dennis doing drag#i know he doesn't really want to write for the show but there's something so special abt how early sunny was an actor's sandbox#esp hearing glenn talk abt how den is like. an outlet for him and a way to play around with shit he would never do for one reason or anothe#my point being that i think its been a while since he was able to utilize dennis again in that way#but 16 was a definite change. especially with dtamhd it feels like dennis is becoming more glenn again. like he was in the early days#theres a pretty good stretch of the show once it got into the double digits that feels like den was. co-opted.#but like i wonder how it feels to explore sexuality and gender via your character#it must be similar to doing that through fandom and OCs but there's a whole other layer to it here#esp when its not Just being presented as comedic as it was in past seasons. like dennis is Actually queer and this is a normal plot point#its not the punchline like den's femininity often is its literally just part of what makes him able to help mac and dee#id argue we've gotten this in the form of. dennis doing dee's makeup and shit. but#anyway. glenn. now that you have two of your former writing assistants in that writers room i hope you get to do drag again đ#its been 16 years. show us the new and improved victoria.#i honestly can't imagine pitching something like that to a room of people Without some sort of comedic twist but#man.#ada speaks#iasip#it's always sunny in philadelphia#rcg#i won't ever forget the way he lit up talking abt queer dennis jhksvfjhksvdfgjhkds#love u king...... i hope you get something in s17 that you Certainly Don't Mind
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