#im not a good person in the way i am depressed and dont rlly do anything about it tbh

[evandore]

its probably so annoying to hear me just say the same thing over and over again but im constantly guilty bc i really try to give the benefit of the doubt. like considering im not a great person and none of my family is and its rlly just like that. but like. come on man. come the fuck on be so serious right now. idk hes fucking rotted in the brain or something and btw hes being completely serious too like i know for a fact that man believes everything he says with certainty. he rlly thinks hes better then everyone else and he has never done wrong in his whole life.

[damagedcoda6669]

how did youknow youbhad bpd? what were the main "symptoms" ?? soryif it comes off as personal or uncomfy you dont hsveto answer

(im rlly rlly rlly autistic abt bpd PREPARE 4 AN ENTIRE BIBLE ABT HOW I DISCOVERED I HAD IT)

ive exhibited symptoms of bpd my entire life (it usually starts 2 present in childhood or early adulthood, it comes from childhood abuse/neglect) i only started 2 notice something was wrong in my tweens/early teens, when malachi became my favorite person and every1 was calling me mentally ill and weird and obsessive. ive known my entire life i was neurodivergent (first started therapy at 6 or 7, diagnosed with bipolar + autism + adhd + depression + anxiety RLLY early on) but there was something else that felt wrong 2 me. at that age i didnt rlly know what 2 search 4 or who 2 talk 2, so i just went on google and searched "love disorders" and obsessive love disorder came up (which isnt even in the DSM iirc) and i posted on google plus saying i likely had that and was shot down IMMEDIATELY 4 "self diagnosing" so i didnt revisit it again until a few years later.

after my breakup in 2021 i felt like it hurt WAY MORE than was normal. i stumbled across a video abt bpd during that time period and it resonated with me way 2 much. im impulsive, i have angry outbursts, im constantly suicidal, i self harm, i have extreme mood swings, i dont know who i am and ive always just mirrored other ppl, i dissociate, i have black and white thinking, i view ppl as all good or all bad and i split, i have consistently unstable relationships, i get attached 2 ppl more than i should be, and i have a paralyzing, nauseating fear of abandonment. i have every symptom in the diagnostic criteria.

i brought up the possibility of me having bpd with my mom i think (i had no one else 2 go 2 becuz all of my friends abandoned me and my parents took away my internet access) and i was shot down again, with my mom saying the CLASSIC "(insert family member) has bpd and shes crazy. ur normal. stop pretending theres something wrong with u. if u had bpd u'd be vindictive and petty and evil. do u think ur those things?"

once i figured out how 2 get my internet access back, maryland dude forced the bpd label on2 me becuz he wanted 2 explain my "abusive" behaviors (he was abusing me but tried 2 gaslight me in2 thinking i had a victim complex and that it was the other way around) and i became uncomfortable with the label becuz he made it seem like if i had bpd then i was a bad person. i continued researching the disorder becuz it still resonated with me even though i was now insecure abt it.

i became comfortable with the label again after he abandoned me, and i brought it up with my therapist. my therapist would HEAVILY DENY that i had bpd, telling me that "if u had bpd u would be attempting suicide 4 attention" "u fit the diagnostic criteria but ur autistic so all of ur symptoms can just be attributed 2 autism srry" "ive had clients with bpd and if u were like them u wouldve had an outburst in my office and be yelling at me by now" and she would even smile at me whenever i brought up my bpd becuz she thought it was funny that i thought i had it, i think. the first time i brought it up with her she told me "its rlly irresponsible 2 self diagnose after reading liek two articles online abt some extreme disorder becuz u think ur broken. ur not broken. dont self diagnose with bpd" and i had to EXPLAIN 2 HER that i wasnt self diagnosing and that id researched it in depth 4 years actually and that she was making assumptions. horribly ableist towards ppl with cluster b disorders, this is a MASSIVE RED FLAG but i didnt switch therapists becuz i was still living with my parents at this point and i felt out of control in every aspect of my life 4 this reason, i didnt even see switching therapists as an option.

then in 2023, while i was homeless, i got evaulated by a psychiatrist. i discussed my bpd with him and finally got diagnosed. i told my therapist i was diagnosed with bpd and she said something like "well im not always gonna be able 2 catch everything" BUT I WAS TELLING U ABT MY BPD 4 MONTHS!!!!! so glad i dont have that therapist anymore but now i dont have one at all, so liek.. hrmmm >:c

im gonna end this by saying.. self diagnosis is valid!!! its so hard 2 get a bpd diagnosis becuz its so demonized and stigmatized, that even those in the mental health system r ableist towards the disorder and those who have it. diagnosis is not always an option with disorders like bpd, and thats so frustrating. its so hard 2 find help becuz every1 thinks ur crazy. but ur not crazy!!! i love all my fellow bpders, i know how agonizing and it is 2 live this tormented life. if u suspect u have bpd, the bpd community welcomes u and supports u!!! and i do 2 :3

[wifiwuxians]

just a random guy who really loves your art. i noticed you made the cute doodle asking peeps to reblog your art and i just wanted to share why i dont? i really love your art and i absolutely wanna reblog it but im a songxue shipper and lowkey you seem kinda grossed out by that ship. which is totally oki, i know its not everyones cup of tea, but sometimes it seems like you'd be offended if a shipper reblogged your art i guess? and i dont rlly wanna bug you, i love your art and i adore your content. i think your likes and dislikes are valid as hell and you're totally allowed to have them. i just wanted to say that i do want to rb your stuff and i do love your stuff and im sorry im not supporting your art in that way, i just really didnt want to cross your boundaries. thank you for sharing your art and drawing so much of the guys (they're my blorbos, thats why i ship them and you're basically the only person who draws them ic imo). you're a wonderful artist and your art regularly impresses the hell out of me. your sense of humor, expressiveness, color pallet, creativity, and just plain Skill are all so freaking amazing and you deserve accolades. im sorry for being a weirdo who likes one of your squick ships but your art is fabulous. maybe i'll make a sideblog where i hide my ship tendencies and just rb you a lot there, you deserve the support :)

hey now,,, this is very sweet lkdhlkh and i really appreciate it + am glad you enjoy my art so much and think it's in character LOL i know i make things that are completely silly and absurd so it fascinates me (in a good way) that it's still seen as in character

also thank you so much for reaching out, i've been having a really rough time (depression! YAY) and honestly didn't expect anyone to say anything ;; (which is totally fine, people don't need to say anything! but it feels really good to be acknowledged)

i guess i'll take this as an opportunity to address this in general! i don't mind if people ship something i don't like/a notp as long as they're not making me engage with it, i don't track people down at gunpoint like HEY SHIPPER SAW YOU TOUCHED MY ART! no! all i ask is people don't /tag/ my art as whatever if i don't want it tagged as such (and don't ramble on about ship ideas in there either lol please), but i'm making an effort to make that obvious in the body of the post itself :) lots of my friends/followers ship things i don't and we coexist just fine!

but as for your ship, i've made mention to it a few times i think that it doesn't really bother me that much! in fact, the more i draw them together, the more chill i am with people taking away whichever kind of interactions they want from my art of them! they're my blorbos too and i love drawing them together, and although sometimes i am explicit about not wanting them tagged as a ship (so like, if they're drawn as family, xy is a child and sl is not for instance, lol), and sometimes i wish not everything were seen as shippy, it's very unreasonable i think for me to expect people not to see it that way. does that make sense? that's why someone requested i tag it a certain way so they wouldn't have to see it anyway OTL

anyway, you're totally fine! if you want to reblog it go right ahead, and if you wanna slap that tag on it, go ahead too (WITHIN REASON, see above). it's the other ostensibly more popular xue yang ship that i'd rather not get wrapped up in, haha

don't hide who you are! don't try and bottle things up for the sake of making someone else feel better. i've been doing that for too long and regret it immensely. maybe this year i'll finally put that to rest too

[shytastemakerthing]

heyyy can i get a romantic matchup? ID REALLY LIKE AN ENSTARS ONE but if u dont do those, a twst one is good :3

im kitten, i dont use pronouns (so just use my name). i dont use labels either, but im feminine. im 17 (so nobody younger than me pls!!), currently in IT classes, 162cm, virgo and entp/intp. also 8w9

umm Im a vampirekin and have a strong affiliation w rabbits and cats. i can be really blunt (sometimes i dont mean it sometimes i do) and am pretty aggressive. i love play-fighting w friends and getting into joke arguments nd stuff.

i hate hatee having 2 give advice like I cant deal w ppl venting 2 me. I can b rude Mostly jut since if i dont like you 4 whatever reason Im not going to hide it Im just not going 2 Be nice. Cuz of this I dont get approached a lot bc ppl say i look mad/intimidating a lot!!!

VERY umm bimbo oriented. very clumsy, Very bad memory and attention span, But who cares I love acting cute and acting pretty and stuff. I love cute things tbhgd sm and I just want 2 squeeze. Cute ppl. As a bimbo i still Have my days 💔where im just Depressed man and Thats most days. but i am good at Just Living and Not acting like that..! Tho when im Very bad w mental health I tend 2 just get sick and not leave my bed and just cut everyone off LOLL

Any ways I love fashion and dressing cute and DESIGNING CLOTHES!!!! I love designing plushies and characters and stuff I need like a creative output and I have 34983 ways of that (designing plushies, characters, outfits ect. sewing, vtuber rigging, sculpting, painting, ect). i usually dress in v-kei, gyaru (kogal), ouji and lolita.

i love any love languages recieving tbh Maybe like words of affirmation I need lots of reminding that they R a willing participant of this Relationship. PERSONALLY i lvoe spending time and doing acts of service, im rlly Not an affectionate person so im probably not going to initiate physical contact and Im RLLY bad with words so im not probably going to do words of affirmation either .......

Hmmmm what else I love music. so much different types. breakcore, classical, eurobeat, game osts, pop rock, industrial metal, esp anything super weird and experimental.

jut stuff i likee would be active cities, being clean, good food, nighttime, CATS AND BUNNIES, pigeons<3, (i want to own a pet cat, bunnies and a pigeon lol), collecting things and baking

i DISLIKE dogs (despite being pretty dog-aligned by personality), my room having any sun in it, dirty/messy/gross ppl. i hatee violence sm I get uncomfortable hearing or seeing ppl/animals get hurt Its just gross and scary.

abt relationships ... I will die for my Partner i will straight up Fight someone for them. idc if they r bad person or if They did a crime rlly Thats so girlboss of them . I want to go out a lot on dates and stuff I dont wanna just go to the same places I want 2 explore and go to new places nd stuff. also Ermmm i dont rlly wanna Date someone shorter thn me Like. They just look like a child at that point..

thx :3 sawrry i wrote a lot lolz. lolll tyy So muh

A/N: Hello and thank you for your request! Don't worry about it being so long, the more information that I have to work with then the better! It only lets me get even more ideas for a match-up! Speaking of, I do hope that you like yours and enjoy!

Tw: None

I match you with.........

Ritsu Sakuma

From one vampire to another, you both are quite literally made for each other in that regard. He sees you and he can feel warmth flooding through his ice cold veins, how the moonlight illuminates your figure makes you look just ethereal. He is stunned into silence but soon regains himself and Ritsu can't help but to approach you.

Now given his sleeping patterns, it is a little hard for the both of you to meet up for any kind of outings, these would mostly be happening later in the evening and into the night given his aversion to sunlight, but he manages to work his schedule just right between his unit work and when he sleeps. He will always make time for you.

Another cat lover! Perhaps the both of you would like to go to a cat cafe for one of your dates? It would be something that he would find both enjoyable and relaxing, especially if you get to be there with him.

His schedule is quite busy sometimes given the work he has with his unit, Knights, but if you would like, you could always join him when they have practices and lives. Honestly, the thought of you being in the crowd and cheering him on makes this young vampire smile.

Speaking of his unit, the others absolutely adore you and they protect their own, and given that they now see you as one of their own, they will protect you just as you protect Ritsu. It is what a Knight does, after all.

Ritsu is big on giving you those words of affirmation. He may not be too much of a talker, and he really isn't that down on himself, but he would never want you to be down on yourself. He wants you to know that he is committed to this relationship no matter what it takes.

Overall, two vampires are able to join each other under the light of the moon. It is something that he will always love. With your similar interests and hobbies, it just makes the time that you spend with one another so much better and so much sweeter.

[rreskk]

heyyy ! im super curious to know who u'd match me up with if ur still doing these x))

im short (5'1-3" i think), bi, filipino, have glasses and am plus size. i have too much tiddy (G cups,, my back is in constant agony), am also hourglass-ISH shaped but also have a tummy,, also have large arms thx to working construction gigs in the summers (which has also given me a lotta scars on my hands/arms). my hair is a long-ish wolfcut n v dark brown almost black. i have 34 tattoos,, mostly on my arms but a few on my legs. my skintone is pretty tan and my eyes are dark brown

i dress v androgynously,(dont like to appear feminine.) big tshirts, baggy n ripped jeans, flannels, skate shoes, "grandpa sweaters" etc. dont wear jewelry/accessories aside from my piercings (ears and septum) and dont wear makeup

personality wise im v quiet. loooove listening to other ppl talk n not having to talk myself lol. been told im the "mom friend," too many times . been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder. i also have a lotta trouble concentrating and a rlly shit memory bc of past substance abuse issues so day to day life can be a bit difficult but i try to maintain a positive outlook/be optimistic ! i also v rarely get angry (honestly even when i rlly should be)

my music taste is wildly varied LOL but some fav artists are The Go! Team, Death Grips, The Avalanches, Big Thief, Froth, The Murlocs, and King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard .

aaaaand i think thats abt it ✌️

I match you with… Trevor!

Physical appearance, as far as I concern, is varied between what suits Trevor best and your physique… my oh my, he loves tummies and (as we all know) big tits. Trevor would love all of you, head to toe. He’ll scatter you with love and affection because… he’s simply pleased and very aroused by your overall large arms and one of many tattoos. As a tattoo maniac himself, Trevor’s favourite thing to do is kiss each of your tattoos, every chance he gets.

In response to your aesthetic in general, Trevor doesn’t care about fashion. Although he likes many types of people and tastes, he adores your sense of casualness. Despite having a simple outfit, he likes how it fits around your body. The baggy shirts? He’ll sneak up behind you and shove his hands up like the devil he is. Trevor finds many ways to express his… odd affections, even if that’s getting under your skin… (getting under your clothes).

Ahhh… sensing your ‘mother’ vibe, he is immediately drawn. Wise, quiet, nervous. The opposite of him… but he loves it. Trevor finds comfort in you. His chaos cannot be balanced without your presence. He needs you around him at all times or he’ll go insane, literally. Having someone introverted and quite reasonable makes him all giddy. He sees you as someone he can trust and rely on, something he missed during childhood and later life. You replace his internal worries.

When encountering your history of substance abuse, Trevor understands. He has the tendencies to go… overboard with his own addictions, however, just like how protective he is over Jimmy and alcohol, he’ll keep a close eye on you. Because you are caring and loving toward him, Trevor feels the need to return this efforts and he will by supporting you through the thick and thin. He may be the last person on earth to be good at comforting but he knows how to make you laugh.

Besides… he’ll teach you how to use your anger correctly ;)

Joking. DONT TRUST TREVOR WITH ANGER. Moving on…

Trevor finds your music taste unique. He listens to more… typical angry punk but after hearing your varied songs, he’ll sometimes… just sometimes dig the vibe. You’ll have to catch him on a good day.

(A/N: Thank you for requesting! I’m intrigued with the tattoos! What’s your fav one? I love tattoos hahah)

[cyber-viper]

hii may i plz have a romantic haikyuu matchup

Hi my name is rex, i’m queer and use they/them pronouns and i’m 15. And i would prefer someone not over the age of 19 plz. I have like a caramel colored skin-tone (i feel like saying im black may be easier but 🤷🏽‍♀️) and im 5’3.

Rn i have a purple-pink short mullet and i have pretty curly hair, im pretty chubby but i have an hourglass shape (but i have super noticeable hip dips) , i got pretty big fucking tittes (not even in a bragging way, im a fuckin k cup bro😭) and thicc thighs(thicc thighs save lives, sorry i’ll stop). I dress pretty alternative but i cant just choose one subculture tho, i wear a lot of heavy eye makeup. There are times where i dress some what “sexual” but its not sexual cause im 15 and other times i wear a lot of layers.

Honestly I don’t really have a type. Tbh most of my relationships have ended pretty badly cause they ether only wanted something sexual from me or I was “too clingy” when i just wanted basic ass affection. But the most I want is someone who is physically affectionate (like kisses, cuddles, and hugs for days) also im ok with pda to an extent like i will hug and like cuddle you but im not gonna make out with your infront of others thats weird af.

Im a libra sun, scropio moon, and gemini rising. This means that im a pretty social person and always wanna hang out with friends and just have fun, but moon in scropio makes my emotions rlly haywire and kinda boosts any sorta negative emotion, which is hard when you have chronic anxiety and major depressive disorder. Which also means i take medication for it, which i forget a lot. And because of these things i have anxiety tics, where it ranges to making noices and twitching a bit to full on hitting myself and saying random shit. But I really like making people laugh, it makes me feel helpful, but im also good at being to mother figure for people. I also like playfully bantering with people, like i love you but will full on roast you and get into fake fist-fights. I am a bit of a violent person at times but I have a punching bag and boxing gloves which help a lot. But I only get that angry when someone uses an insecurity of mine against me or is talking bad about someone i love, cause it you do that im beating your ass. I do have a bit of body insecurities mainly about my hip-dips and stomach. But because im curvy i get hit on by adults a lot and its creepy as fuck.

My hobbies include art (painting, drawing), sleeping (because i stay up mad late😭✌🏽), reading comics, Marvel and D.C superheroes, and super villains, cartoons, and anime/manga. My favorite music genre’s are rock, alternative, emo, rap, and a little bit if indie music.

Personality: funny, sarcastic, creative, kind, inappropriate and the right times. Like im not gonna pull out a dick joke in front of your family I don’t really have a type and im queer so i dont have a gender preference, but anyone who’s love language is physical affection cause im a clingy bitch.

I have a couple ideal dates, so the first one is like an indoor picnic and a movie, an arcade date, and a stargazing date where you get take out or fast food and drive up a hill to see the stars and you like cuddle n shit.

@rexy26 I match you with Kenma Kozume!

Kenma's more of a private person so probably would not be super into pda but would be affectionate in private with you. in public he would like holding hands but cuddling and kissing is something he prefers to save for when you guys are at home

He's not someone who's focused on looks, he just wants his partner to be tolerant of his more introverted personality and his gaming hobby

He would to to help remind you to take your meds and might set a reminder or alarm on his phone too

You both would be able to help keep each other calm and notice signs of stress or overstimulation in one another, learning each others signals and can be a safe space for each other

appreciates if you stand up for him if he gets teased or shit talked but also isn't that bothered by it himself so would try to calm you down and jut leave to go to something else

Kenma will reassure you about any insecurities you may have about your appearance by giving you quiet blunt compliments that you can tell are sincere

you guys would spend a lot of time staying over at one or the others house staying up late sometimes doing stuff together other times doing seperate things like him gaming and you watching a show or reading a comic while cuddling

would love the idea of an indoor picnic and movie date and you guys could probably cuddle in a pillow fort if you asked him to help you build it and would definitely be down for an arcade date too

A/N: I am so sorry this is soooo late D: I really hope you like your match up. If you are dissatisfied or need clarification for anything I wrote please let me know. I appreciate your request so much <333

[brothalynchhung]

2023 overview

im such a loyal person man LMAOOO i still specfically come back here to do this lool anyways this year was fucking insane like FUCKING insane and long as hell... grniguehrsi

i think i started the year a lil depressed cuz i was working that fuckass job

lets seee

i think jan 2023 was nothing but me suffering through that fuck ass job, gyming, etc.,

that old apt ahahah i mean tbh it was nice but too big and TOO SECLUDED omg

actually the way i spent a whole year so isolated from society was crazy what the fawk

i dont even think i got much out of it like self improvement wise

maybe japanese? guitar? but that came only at the end

i guess playing ps5... lol -_-

i gained so much weight cuz of depression and that stressful ass job

the way i think majority of that weight was just the AMOUNT OF CORTISOL BUILD UP I HAD

anyways jan was whatever

then i went to umrah in feb which was stressful cuz the amount of ppl and the BUGS man god

this whole time i thought my prayers werent answers but they were tbh i had a good year even if there was struggles

i didnt get gl yet but APPARENTLY thats too much to ask for

whatever

then barcelona lMAOOO which was okay!! i think i would have obv enjoyed it more if i wasnt there for work but i mean still it was just another european city

my spanish was ass

i was too paranoid about someone jacking my phone lol

survived tho

ate some GOOD ASS FOOD. omg best food ever

and the sangriaasss omg

it was worth it being the canon event of me getting fired LMAO

hoenstly was a lil ugly ass bitch that co founder was fuck him fr

loser highkey

anywho

so spain barcelona and saudi 2 countries down within the first 3months of the year

tbh basically up until june majority of my year was this stupid ass job travelling here and there complaining about that ugly ass bitch

omg what a shaytan that man was holyshit and not like a powerful shaytan more like a whiny weak insecure life sucking pitiful pathetic piece of shit shaytan the one that lowers the energies of everything around it

pitiful ass human fr im so happy that shit got out of my life

that was the best thing to happen to me this year like not exclusively him but the whole job too LOL

like thanks for the pay and travel finessed the fuck out all tbh BYE

chaper closed thank god

and whats crazy is that the SECOND after that meeting i forgot about it all lMFAOOOO LIKE I WAS READYY

march was cool i finally got to go back to america

actually march lowkey changed my life

texas was so much fun omg i miss america man americans are nice just h8 their govt

sxsw!!! DUDE ive always wanted to go and GOT TO ALL under someone elses coin LMFAOOOOOO

met cool ppl ig, saw cool things, film and tv industry - coool cool cool

and i didnt rlly have to do shit there LMAO

anyways then went to houston where nadas friend HELD IT DOWNNNNN

like finally omg i got to get hiiii FINALLY

RODEO HIGH VEGAN SOUL FOOD HIGH

THE FOOD WAS SO GOOD THE RECORD SHOPPING WAS SEXY

so good

then i came back and i was mad depressed cuz i should be out there working and learning from ppl who like the shit as me not stuck out the middle of FUCK ASS NOWHERE DOING NOTHING

which yeah i think that like lit the fire out of my ass about how much i hated the job and place and cuz ad was like quarantine istg

thennn hmm april..OH YEAH JAPAN

BASICALLY ONCE I GOT BACK IT WAS HELL DEALING WITH THAT FUCK ASS JOB CUZ OF THE STUPID ASS.

i dont even remember waht the bullshit ass term is

uhhh i forget lMAOOO that stupid bullshit where i was PERFORMANCE PLANNN

stupid as fuck what kind of corporate fake working society term is that omfg

AND FOR NOTHING BUT THAT THING IN BARCELONA WHERE I DIDNT GO TO SOME BULLSHIT

i dont care was worth it like fuck yeah bitch!! i really am using yall to fuck around and travel cuz THIS STUPID ASS JOB IS NOT MY FUTURE

and it isint omg its like it never exsited LMFAO

anyways that stressed me out but thank god i had edibles lmao

DUHA HELD IT DOWNN

mmm then i survived to japan

I WENT TO JAPAN THIS YEAR OMFG AFTER YEARS!!! YEARSSSS!!! OF DREAMING ABOUT JAPAN!!! I GOT TO GO

honestly me going to japan was what made this year like this def had to be one of the best years of my life just for that on its own

actually like yeah this def was oddly enough one of the best years of my life?

emotionally hell yes but everything else was good

jsut stupid self-inflicted stress (minus that fuck ass job)

anyways japan was amazing left it wanting to learn the language and AM

i cant wait to go back

and the fact i hit tokyo kyoto and osaka all at once omg amazing

nintendo world 😭 shibuya 😭 just kyoto in general 😭

i bought so much omg

THE FOOD OMG THEIUEHGSEIUH

i had so much good food this year lmao barcelona, japan, texas 🤪

anywhoo after that i basically dont remember much of may like it was just tryna get through the shit and deal with that stupid ass plan and talking to that dumb bitch

which i punked off and he didnt like like fuck u u ugly untalented waste of life ? im not talking nice to u or respecting your bitch ass

and he think getting rid of me was a slap in the face as if that wasnt exactly what i wanted LMFAOOO

3 months leave with pay ??? and i scammed yall w the ticket price?? LOOOOOL oKAYYY THANKS!!!

CHAPTER CLOSED

so basically june they let me gooo true freedom then had the best month of my life in thailand which was FUCKKINGGG MAAZINGGG

omg thailand was so much fun i felt so free

the most free and most happy i ever felt in my life

krabi .. rayleh beach omg the weed and shrooms on the beach 😭

seriously i had no one in my face, no bitches, no work, money, freedom, time, no problems NOTHING

i seriously think those few days in krabi were the happiest moments of my life ever

like pure freedom and security and happiness in ever sense of each word

soooo grateful

and i deserved it after all the stupid ass stress that stupid ass job put me through

and the whole time i was there i was just so grateful i never felt that much gratitude in my life ever

thailand in general was fun omg i bought so much stuff i loved bangkok

i just love travelling man seriously im just built to travel around discover and learn about the world i love connected with the world and exploring and adventuring i hate being stuck in a place

all i ever want to do is travel and live like really LIVE

hate work

anywho right after i came back to my freedom then basically just chilled until i had to go to canada

which was 🙄

listen - ottawa was surprisingly okay actually i enjoyed it, i smoked, i walked around listening to y2k music, stayed at home all cozy, appreciated the nature and the nostalgia lmaoo even chilling w lina and her cousins was fun

but toronto -_- listen im never going to forgive that bitch for throwing me out and those other hoes for not being there for me

shout out to p tho lol

all i wanted to do was leave istg

toronto was a lil boring but i was also just mad cuz all my friends were all

CUT OFFFFF ill never see yall again except maybe nadine and p

for once ottawa was better than toronto

anyways i think im 1000% done w toronto

CHAPTER CLOSED

thank god finally

oh yeah i started a youtube account that im trying to take seriously i guess LOL

i still need to keep going and working on it but its fun

OH YEAH CHICAGOO

LOLLAAPALOOZAAA

yeah thank god that crazy bitch didnt come but omg what a waste of a ticket but anyways her L not mine

just thankful that i had the money for all of this -_- shout out that fuck ass job i guess lmao

part 2... ?

[conanssummerchild]

finallly analising this jdskdjsksj

okay so to start off, the song summer child is pretty much about a person who is hurting, who's struggling but people dont notice, just to summarise it very very quickly. there is so much more to the song tho, and i'll get into that now.

and disclaimer in case i make someone mad, im not saying that mike fits every word of the song, this isnt even rlly an analisis, more of like a silly thing i decided to make so no one come for me 😭 i am interested in hearing ur opinions tho

so anyway, conan starts the song with the lyrics

so with that first line hes saying smth like you see beauty even when there is none, or even when no one else does and in s1 yk how mike is tho only one who wants el to stick around, yeah. also when theyre getting bullied by troy and he says to dustin that he thinks its cool, like he has a superpower like the x men or smth (cant quite remember it)

anyway i dont have much to say abt line two but with all the shit they went thru with the upside down, its hard to imagine he wouldnt be at least a little afraid of the dark at night (also when i was little i was rlly scared of the dark and i kin mike so what i say goes /j)

(TW SELF HARM) i rlly cant say much abt the next line without turning this into projection central, but what i take from this line is conan talking abt self harm, i rlly dont know if this could b interpreted any other way tho? anyway its not that i think mike hurts himself, and there is no evidence in the show claiming he does (at least none that i know of, if there is tell me so i can project harder) but one time back when i got sent to therapy (and refused to talk to my therapist abt anything but mike wheeler) she tried to get deep w me and told me that a lot of people self harmed because they bottled up their feelings so much that in the end that was the only release they could get or theyd like explode, smth abt ppl who felt too much too big. ngl i dont rlly remember but honestly thats so mike wheeler if u ask me (what my therapist said)

ok so this is what i meant when i said not everything fit exactly, bcs while i dont think ted is a good father, i also dont think hes 'mean' in the way i think conan means it

green = byler. mindblowing ik /s

anyway the last two lines i feel like are less abt someone specifically running through sprinklers on their street and more about how when u were younger things were more simple and imo an important part of mikes arc is how he tries to make himself grow up faster, only to later mourn the better days that he lost and it was his fault, and if u ask me this part of his arc has to do with neurodivergency and maski- [GUNSHOTS]

ok and so we get to the part that made me start to think mike was summer child coded, mikes whole little pretense game he has going on, hiding parts of himself he feels arent good enough for people to see, how people have ignored and dismissed his feelings so many times to the point that he just gives up on trying to talk about them, how he struggles with his depression (yes i am a therapist i can officially diagnose him /j) but still puts so much time and effort into helping other people, he's selfless to a fault, to the point that hes hurting himself more than anything else.

how theres always a part of him in the dark, never quite revealed to the audience, portraying how he never fully reveals it to his friends.

so once again i'll mention how ppl have always dismissed and ignored mikes concerns and struggles to the point where he starts to just keep it to himself, and acts angry or grumpy when rlly there is so much more brewing under the surface he just doesnt think he deserves for someone to care, or even just directly thinks they dont care anyway

and ive tried to stay mostly partial so far and not bring up will or mikes sexuality, but in the end i think him being gay is an important part of his arc and definitely present in his struggles and the second to last line makes me think of will being shown to be like mikes sun (his heart ;)) and how hes keeping up a pretense about the way he really feels both about will and el to everyone but himself (no i dont think hes clueless ._.)

so this is actually the part that made me make the original post bcs hello?? the first three lines, did conan just literally write this song about mike wheeler?? mikes self sacrificial nature is something that comes up repeatedly, whether you want to acknowledge it or not. that boy would do anything for his friends, and im not even gonna get into the cliff scene bcs we'd be here all night. but like i was saying, the rest of the lines reference how mike sees the beauty in things others dont, EXCEPT when it comes to himself.

yeah, when it comes to himself he won't see the best parts of himself, only the bad, its up to a bystander (will?? the audience? mikes self concious, or is that too far-fetched?) to quietly observe the way hes falling apart

anyway slay that was bad and long and also excuse any spelling mistakes and incoherency its like 1 in the morning where i live so im analising mike wheeler, as any sane person would. once again, this isnt a proper analisis just something i pulled out of my ass so idk

@apocalyptic-byler no pressure to read this nonsense but u said youd b interested and i said id tag u so here it is lol

Mike Wheeler is so very summer child coded. There, I said it.

[glidaradner]

.

[meowvey]

i think my friends actually just tolerate me and don’t actually like me lol

[chairhahaha]

canon es looks like a pathetic baby

i love how u end up analysing every piece you see ur so smart

i honestly hate how everyone handled it so childishly like ur telling me that everyone in vivid street watched an obliviously continue to wait for nagi for YEARS not even a few months or weeks it was most of her life???😭😭 i know they wanted to fufil nagi’s final wish but honestly that’s just so wrong. also taiga what the fuck man how r u gonna destroy an’s dreams like that then bring the entire group JUST TO PROVE THAT VBS CANT BEAT RAD WEEKEND ARE YOU DENSE ok ignore that anyways no way the entire town agreed that this was okay?????

ur right though milgram’s treatment is way more inhumane what the hell is wrong with them, as far as i’m aware i think all the wardens introduced (novel and music project) r like high schoolers. DUDE😭😭😭 imagine just being a normal teenagerthen u wake up with no memory of what u were doing before and get told by a talking chromosome that ur surrounded by murderers thats absolutely terrifying

THE STACKS OF PAPER WHAT THE HELL not even the excessive hw i get could get that bad

idk if u read Side S yet but I’ll spoil it under cut bc good god

Es KNOWS that their memory Was wiped and they don’t gaf because

“I want to be a beautiful warden if that’s the case, if memories are impurities for a warden, then they are unnecessary” Like WHAT THE FUCK WHAT HAS MILGRAM DONE TO YOU

milgram wardens r honestly so dehumanised to the point where nothing else but the verdicts they give is important. jackalop is so. ew i like making fun of him but he also seems genuinely frightening in the sense that he’s a higher rank than es so he could. do anything to them. dont even get me started on novel jackalope she can literally strangle the wardens like “do you want to stop breathing too?” SHUT UP PLEASE

I want t3 so badlu but at the same time im so horrified

ANALYSIS READING TIME!

i feel like i could pull up with this and you’d still find a way to analyse it/pos

edit: WHO VOTED ON THE POLL LMFAOOOOO

messy hair es!!!! i only did that so it wouldn’t look too basic but omg!!!!!!! yes es is clutching onto themselves and their heart, idk i js copied the original poseLMAO

the duller clothing has no meaning i just love playing with saturation

ur flower analysis is so good holy shit i was just trying to doodle those rlly basic flowers bc i was NOT drawing all that detail on an’s shitt. abandonment. oh god the prisoners

“if u put a red and white flower together something something someone will die” <- looks at a prisoner

Okay I Actually Lied I Did Want To Put Symbolism (abt the person behind es)

You are correct that is supposed to be past es, i was trynna go for like there’s nothing much to past es’ design because es doesn’t know their past self so. they could be anything . so like the basic ness in the design means that there’s not much u can really say about a past you don’t remember WHAT AM I SAYING

“they died before even becoming a warden” HOLY FUCKING SHITTTTRTT THATS SO SICK I HATE MILGRAM

the pancreas thing is so cool i didnt even know that what

the longer hair was entirely an accident its bc i didnt have a reference of es’ back hair. but of course kani finds a way to analyse it and still make it make sense. ahoge was also unintentional LMFAO es is implied to have a bad past so it makes sense that pre milgram es would be depressed

THE NUMBER OF FLOWERS TOO?? i honestly had no idea numbers had symbolisms i just pasted a bunch of flowers everywhere so the background wouldnt look basic

i DEFO drew them looking like hearts but i tried drawing petals scattered everywhere. the hearts look cute tho

did u know i based the fence off the wall thing in ur engeki es art😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

the fence bar things is supposed to represent milgram bc. the gold things r in milgram. es’ room. and the fact that warden es and past es r separated by that fence implies that milgram is preventing es from uhh knowing their past/true self by putting a fence and hiding the past from them

idk shit about fences so im just gonna go with whatever u said about facing outwards and inwards bc it still makes sm sense😭

oh god the heart being split apart because es was ripped from their childhood and since its a fence they can’t get it back

^ that was NOT intentional i just wanted to say smt

i think i need to get better at symbolisms like i’m literally a milgram fan

THANK TOU SO MUCHHH OH MY GOF DON’T KYS YOU CAN DIE FROM THAT🙏🙏🙏🙏

下剋上

i need to stop drawing them with a baby face all the time😭😭

if u find any symbolisms here it was probably an accident i suck at analysing and all that

An and Es when they have 2 letter names and were raised in an environment that they believed and trusted in only to realise that the truth was being hidden from them (if that makes sense)

who died???? probably their freedom

^ if that makes. sense (I SAID THAT ALREADY)

based off this

if u saw me post this b4 u didnt

[sexydreamgirl]

hera I'm sorry for trauma dumping but I feel rlly shitty rn and dont have anyone to rant to, u don't have to answer if u don't want. and I also hope u understand what I'm trying to say :).

I have gotten so much more insecure lately and comparing myself to others, like I see the best version in everyone else especially look wise but not myself, and Im even scared ti have a bf bc I think he is going to leave me for my friend etc. ik that I just have to work on my sc but I feel weird abt it, bc I have this very dumb mindset and jealousy issues that others are literally born beautiful with perfect bodies and I have to MANIFEST for me to have it, it just seems unfair yk?

but the thing is growing up I was considered very pretty and that I had a nice body, like even strangers sometimes would compliment me. but rn that doesn't happen anymore like literally it's the opposite no one thinks I'm pretty anymore and no one has any romantically interest in me and it makes me kind of upset. I feel really guilty but I always compare myself and get jealous of a friend of mine bc she seems to be smart and have the body that guys want and in general she always gets things easier while I feel that I have to work for it. so idk why I'm not considered pretty anymore is it like did I rlly had an glow down or did the beauty standards changed? .. anyway ik that I also can just manifest having it back but I feel that me manifesting it back it like cancels it out kind of ? like I would rather not be in a position that I have to manifest beauty yk?and it's not just with the beauty wise like I feel everything I would get complimented on it kind kind disappeared and I got worse. like I was known for having very clear skin and very white pearly teeth but now I don't and can't say that oh yeah I always had clear skin and it kind of annoys me If u understand what i mean? same goes with talents like I used to be a dancer and good one and would be very athletic but now nothing, and I would speak fluently some languages, especially the ones I speak in my house and now I'm not able to.

I rlly don't know what's wrong with me and why i have become like this, its like I have lost all my personality and have gotten depressed and ppl view me much differently that how i rlly am and used to be like an example I used to be athletic but now they think I'm lazy bc I don't participate in gym class but I find it reasonable but it still annoys me. and i would have guys that have crush on me and now nothing, and I have lost all of my friends and no one likes me and they treat me like shit and i always feel that I'm responsible for it and in just so lost and ikd what to do with my life .

so my question is, except that I would like some advice or anything would be nice , is there a chance that I have accidently manifested all this or did that happen by its own??.. I hope this wasn't too much, thank u for ur time :)

According to the law you manifest the good, the bad and the indifferent. However, there's a difference between conscious manifestation and unconscious manifestation. So even if it wasn't your intention to manifest such unfavorable matters, that doesn't discredit how you can or should feel about the situation.

That said, you're not obligated to continue being a person you don't want to be. You don't have to be trapped in this conception of self if it has you in a terrible headspace, but the change must begin with you. You need to realize that the only person standing in your way of becoming the best version of yourself is you, there is no one to change but self. You are bringing forward excuses about guilt because you have to manifest xyz okay AND? You're no better nor worse than somebody who didn't have to manifest it. There's a reality where you're the total opposite of everything you've just described, there's a reality where it's even better than anything you could've ever imagined. No reality is better than another, so why not start working with the law to your favor? You're manifesting 24/7 anyway. You know you can do something about it, so just go for it. Don't let yourself get consumed by feelings of guilt over what is essentially YOUR birthright. Just go for it and don't give up for anything or anyone, you deserve to live out the life of your dreams.

[arabella111]

arabella,

im so unmotivated to manifest anything , i bave been 'trying' or mkstly over consuming info since may but i cant seem to sit my ass doen snd do the work..mostly bc every now an then i always have a problem that worries me firstly it was the sc thingy like how do wr manifest our desires with it? like what do i think of them? do i just affirm normally my sc affd and when i think of my desire affirm sc? which thats what i understood but its that when i think of my desire an undesired image pops up for example ill manifest hairless body but i think of it the way it is now yk? so is that ok? like can i just continue affirming normally the way i would for the desire specifically for example i think of this undesired image and just affirm the sc affs instead?

second, just the other anons i have guilt abt manifesting a lot of stuff and beauty ESPECIALLY bc if i start getting compliments after manifesting it will make me wonder was i that ugly that i didnt get compliments and i do now that i kinda changed my face ? and like i rlly wanna be naturally pretty without any need for manifestation.. and when i was younger i did get compliments but it might have been bc i was a kid but even if i was pretty i want to be like pretty pretty not just pretty yk? and now that i want to change myself is like admitting to myself that yeah ur not all that..

and u have answered bfr to other anons that they changrd their assumption thats why which yes it made me feel so much better bc its my assumptions not my fault but what if i was getting the compliments was bc i was a kid ? bc personally i dont think i was that pretty like more like average beauty and i still have this that next to others i look like im just there yk? and i dont want to be like that naturally.. and even if i am pretty why do ppl not find me attractive and some of my friends dont suplort me at some stuff considering beauty and i have wasted this insecurity trauma for nothing like i gained another trauma for no reason yk?://.. dont get my wrong i still get compliments but they are like from my mom/relatives and one friend.. and no guys and other ppl and literally anyone i

and then the other problem was that i felt disconected from reality for abt 4 years bc of depression and i was waiting for an outer source to kinda wake me up , like i felt that i was sleeping yhe whole time even ppl would tell me to wake up bc i was rhat disconnected..

and another one was that bc of my depression i didnt do shit , i wasnt talking, didnt find any interests and before that when i was young i had a life and all that and through all this depressiom process i lost myself and dont know what i like anymore and i feel like i have lost most of my teen years for nothing ( since 13 till 16 ( now ) )

i hope u understood something and it wasnf that long and tiring for u to read, bc im not that good at explaing stuff, i just want to get rid of these problems and finally do my work bc i am EXCAUSTEDDD

and thank u for the time :)

see baby, first you need to work on your sc, just assume and think you get your manifestations the moment you want them. that's it. you don't have to overcomplicate shit. your negative thoughts are not powerful enough to ruin your manifestations. you're god and you make your own rules, that's it. you don't have to feel guilty about manifesting anything. you've been manifesting your whole life. you've manifested the wanted and even the unwanted. so why not change it for the better and not feel guilty about having your desires. cus first, you already have them. second you'll just be wasting your time thinking about the guilt and it won't help you, will it? your insecurities don't possess any power unless you give them. and now that you know you can change your whole life just by thinking and persisting in that thought, then why would you become a slave to your negativity?

[aristeiakira]

can i have a hq matchup plz

Hi my name is rex, i’m queer and use they/them pronouns and i’m 15. And i would prefer someone not over the age of 19 plz.

I have like a caramel colored skin-tone (i feel like saying im black may be easier but 🤷🏽‍♀️) and im 5’3. Rn i have a purple-pink short mullet and i have pretty curly hair, im pretty chubby but i have an hourglass shape (but i have super noticeable hip dips) , i got pretty big fucking tittes (not even in a bragging way, im a fuckin k cup bro😭) and thicc thighs(thicc thighs save lives, sorry i’ll stop). I dress pretty alternative but i cant just choose one subculture tho, i wear a lot of heavy eye makeup. There are times where i dress some what “sexual” but its not sexual cause im 15 and other times i wear a lot of layers.

Honestly I don’t really have a type, tbh most of my relationships have ended pretty badly cause they ether only wanted something sexual from me or I was “too clingy” when i just wanted basic ass affection. But the most I want is someone who is physically affectionate (like kisses, cuddles, and hugs for days) also im ok with pda to an extent like i will hug and like cuddle you but im not gonna make out with your infront of others thats weird af.

Im a libra sun, scropio moon, and gemini rising. This means that im a pretty social person and always wanna hang out with friends and just have fun, but moon in scropio makes my emotions rlly haywire and kinda boosts any sorta negative emotion, which is hard when you have chronic anxiety and major depressive disorder. Which also means i take medication for it, which i forget a lot. And because of these things i have anxiety tics, where it ranges to making noices and twitching a bit to full on hitting myself and saying random shit. But I really like making people laugh, it makes me feel helpful, but im also good at being to mother figure for people. I also like playfully bantering with people, like i love you but will full on roast you and get into fake fist-fights. I am a bit of a violent person at times but I have a punching bag and boxing gloves which help a lot. But I only get that angry when someone uses an insecurity of mine against me or is talking bad about someone i love, cause it you do that im beating your ass. I do have a bit of body insecurities mainly about my hip-dips and stomach. But because im curvy i get hit on by adults a lot and its creepy as fuck.

My hobbies include art (painting, drawing), sleeping (because i stay up mad late😭✌🏽), reading comics, Marvel and D.C superheroes, and super villains, cartoons, and anime/manga. My favorite music genre’s are rock, alternative, emo, rap, and a little bit if indie music.

Personality: funny, sarcastic, creative, kind, inappropriate and the right times. Like im not gonna pull out a dick joke in front of your family I don’t really have a type and im queer so i dont have a gender preference, but anyone who’s love language is physical affection cause im a clingy bitch I have a couple ideal dates. So the first one is like an indoor picnic and a movie, an arcade date, and a stargazing date where you get take out or fast food and drive up a hill to see the stars and you like cuddle n shit.

A Classic Matchup ♡

- You received Iwaizumi Hajime!

- May I just mention your request made me smile? I feel like you’re such a fun person to be with. Definitely Oikawa’s close friend and Iwaizumi’s significant other.

- Moving forward! Yes to subtle display of affection, yes. Patting away his sweat right after practice, loose interlaced hands as he walks you home, quick forehead kisses to bid his farewell. Imagine just lounging around on the cafeteria when it’s his break, he will be resting his chin on your shoulder as you converse with your friends, your side close to his chest, fiddling with your hands under the table.

- I can see him taking care of you, giving you as much comfort through his touch to quell your anxieties, setting up his alarm to always remind you to take your medicine, he does not mind any tics you have—overall, he just wants to make you feel his love. (Also, in view of your physical description, let me just state you both will be such an attractive couple.)

- He loves how you like to make other people laugh, it makes him fall even harder for you. Of course, he knows that you’re having a hard time, and so it makes him admire seeing you still trying to give joy to others.

- The Mom and Dad of the group, yes, it’s you two. You know who your children are already.

- Although you’re friends with Oikawa, there are banters here and there. The group definitely laughs every time while Iwaizumi—as usual—helps you in roasting him. That’s when Oikawa remembers you are his best friend’s significant other.

- If your match still haven’t gotten into boxing, go bring him in. Sparring with him? Beating asses? He’s your man.

- It might make you wonder when people say they love every little thing about a person but when he tells you exactly that, it makes you believe because of the sincerity that drips in his every word. Please, it makes him sad when you feel insecure as he would always try to make you feel the opposite, security.

- No more adults hitting on you or he will hit them. Like, for real. No one messes with his significant other that gets away unscratched. He’s not the confrontational type but he would fight for you. Beating asses, remember?

- Your interests aligns with his’, definitely something you’d bond over with!

- He loves your affection, he may not be seen as that kind, even so, he returns everything you give him. If not acts of service, I can see his love language to be physical touch (your wish is my command, hoho). \(^o^)/

- To your ideal dates! The first time you have mentioned them, your man has never forgotten after.

- On indoor picnics, Marvel and DC movies plays in the television while you cuddle comfortably against warm comforters and soft pillows. The place dimly lit with various snacks to munch on neatly prepared on the table before you.

- On arcade dates, you just have to visit to the arcade every time you go to the mall, even when you were only supposed to shop for food. Well, he can’t help it if you want it.

- On stargazing dates, he plans this on an unexpected time, actually, he might even do this whenever he see you down in order to lift your spirit. One night, he just calls you out of your house, telling you he needs you. While you, clueless and in belief of his acting, follows him without a question. The next moment, you find yourself standing above the city’s sparkling lights, below the twinkling stars.

- You have not only gotten your match but a person that would also make you feel secure—in your self, in your relationship, in him.

[mathieubellamont]

As a Hirrus Clutumnus stan I got to hear your 2 pieces on him. Also, as a mentally ill person, what are your thoughts on Shivering Isles? (There are parts I rlly vibe with but I understand a lot of it is played for laughs, and I've never had psychosis so idk how people who experience that feel about it. i can only see it from a depression/anxiety/ocd lense)

ooooooooo youre bringing in the REAL good questions here

Heads up for mentions of suicide and assisted suicide, oh and spoilers for an old as fuck game

So, for a long but necessary background, because if Im gonna talk on this i need to be explicit where I'm coming from regarding it, I have StPD AKA diagnosed shivering isles resident at psychiatrist disorder. That for me includes delusions and a lot of paranoia, perceptual hallucinations, magical thinking, highly spiritual angle to life... actually ironic this question comes in now bc my deity has been like. get into and talk about madness for a few days now. take that as an example if you want, including a lot of reading of signs and stuff. basically. talking to things that most people dont think can talk, eccentricity in thought processes and dress and speaking, issues speaking outloud bc words and sentences get jumbled/etc, and connecting the dots between things that aren't related (eg "if I turn this light on the grass outside will stop growing and the farmer will get mad"). Its... also relevant to answering this in a different way to say that Im autistic so... I kinda struggle with discerning the intent behind creating the Isles (like, as you said, being played for laughs) vs the homely feeling I personally get from it.

So yeah, tldr i fucking FEEL the isles, and i may not be the best at interpreting them right

On to the answer (under read more only bc its long)

Hirrus:

Oh man, seriously, as someone whos struggled with depression for a long ass time and..... relevant feelings...... I LOVE how brutally honestly Hirrus is approached. Actually that tends to be one of my favourite parts of how the Isles are approached in general, in that they don't shy away from the brutality of mental illness. Its not just "haha funny goofy land" its "bunch of people brought together by Issues" Like... I know the brutality is probably to show that Sheogorath is a DAEDRIC PRINCE not to be taken lightly (although i am SURE there were a lot of people struggling w mental issues on the Isles dev team who wanted to depict it like this for the sake of realism) but like... Mental illness as Im sure you get as a Hirrus Stan is not just quirky little things but something that devastates lives. It doesnt JUST do that but ill get to that in the overall isles opinion. I think no matter whether the developers are mentally ill or not, if theyre going to approach these topics there needs to be a level of "yep this is fucked up" - in a VERY specific way though. If Hirrus was played in a way that was about the HoK's horRor and suFferINg meeting Hirrus id be like. ew. but since youre literally just meeting someone going through SHIT in a fantasy world.... Oh, the fantasy world bit is super relevant. I think id have some issues with it if it was in our world - the whole hill of suicides thing is absolutely extremely relevant imo as to why this is not just acceptable but a great bit of storytelling. "The real world is dark and dangerous, help someone kill themselves"= dangerous DANGEROUS thing to put in a story. "Im going to show you how fucked up this fantasy world is, and its so fucked up that it turns helping someone kill themselves into a merciful and good bit of storytelling"= good. i like that. The way its implemented is really good storytelling IMO.

On the Isles themselves:

I think it boils down to... Theres a fine line to be walked when talking about mental illness, and even if its played for laughs, they still did it right. Well, i mean. For an old game.

Tbh?? I dont think mental illness, as i touched upon above, is just about devastation and loss and struggles, its also like.... A fantastic thing. I dont have a love-hate relationship w my StPD but a love-....babysit. relationship. Some days its awful like when im convinced bad triggering shit i wont mention is about to happen, somedays my perceptual hallucinations kick in and the world is suddenly oversaturated colours and burningly hi definition, somedays it really helps with grounded things in that i tend to be creative bc i can see reality in weird ways, or it helps (SOMETIMES) with divination and whatnot. But its always something less of a horror assigned to me and more of a confused seriously sight-impaired clone who cant see the world properly and i have to guide them around - StPD comes in between me and my ability to perceive the world around me. The whole display of the divided isles is, yes, a litttlleeee outdated bc i think its meant to partially reference bipolar disorder which, kinda gross thing to do but i guess understandable if you know fuck all about not insulting mentally ill people, and using words like dementia as an aesthetic is a little off-putting, but its so.... homely to have this stark acceptance that illness is a huge consuming SWAMP of a fuckin thing, twisted and dangerous, but also fantastical, inviting, super/post-real.... Mania is my fucking favourite area bc yeah. it approaches what life feels like when the good StPD Issues kick in. This divide also really shows how StPD and similar illnesses work, but colouring (pun intended given the colour schemes) your world view, and turning everyday things (trees, animals) into horrific, desolate things - or weird, beautiful, fantastical things because thats what it FEELS like. plus i think just because some of the devs intended to make this world in reference to a few things, doesnt mean the end product isnt an accurate portrayal of other things. Just because im sure some were like "oo lets use bipolar/dementia/etc for aesthetics" and got it wrong, doesnt mean its not an accurate depiction of other unrelated mental illnesses.

Thats a little subjective but.... on a different note. I think a HUGE thing that makes the Isles work for being a good/palatable depiction as opposed to a bad one is the fact that the Hero BECOMES SHEOGORATH. and the whole questline leading up where you BECOME a member of the isles and really get to know them is..... Is so so paramount to how this Works so it isnt just some zoo you stroll around. Youre either With the Isles AND their population or..... the questline isnt for you. Another HUGE thing is the fact that everyone just......... ugh how do i put this bc of course theres conflict between characters in the isles..... But it just feels like home having StPD where theres this place that everyone has their own thing going on and no one really condemns them for it, not in the way real life does, like. Ah. I guess id say it like: itd be boring as shit if every character was like "oh my GOD everyone around me is CRAZYYYY not ME though" like.... when you have groups of friends that are all Mentally Ill Luv x you can sort of relax and all be your own various shades of the rainbow you know?? Real life tends to see me have to train myself to act normal and not display illness symptoms bc im the odd one out for some reason. The Isles is..... So you know that study done showing how autistics struggle socially with non autistics but can get along fine together? Yeah reminds me of that, where NTs will condemn and belittle and other everyone with serious mental illness - and so if youre a NT youd think that NDs would do the same, just like non autistics think autistics couldnt communicate together - but it takes a level of insight into this to understand in a lot of our friend groups we.... dont fall apart, we actually start to understand each other as similar in different ways. We find other ways to have cohesive social groups without all being in touch with the same version of reality. Whether the devs meant the isles as thought out like that or "haha imagine people being sooooo crazy they dont even know other people are crazy" well, we wont know, but again - an inaccurate attempt to portray one thing can turn into an accurate way to portray another.

Plus, honestly.... There comes a point where, like the whole "theres no ethical consumption under capitalism" thing, I think it matters less the devs intentions and more how the consumer consumes it. If youre NT and like it? I think the issue is when its "haha weird ass crazy people funny, im so glad im not these dudes hey look at how stupid they are", but if youre approaching it like "damn this is a wacky place where people have some serious issues and im going to enjoy the storyline and the humour without treating it like a digital freak show" then i mean.... Idk. Not sure on that angle logically but I do know I dont have that jugdmental reaction to people enjoying it when they arent like the people depicted in the isles

Tldr: I like it. Its either well thought out or a bunch of happy accidents. I think that we can all argue/debate on the intent behind it? Which, if this was created by one singular person, would be EXTREMELY relevant, but since its a whooooole dev team IMO the individual intents matter a little less than the end product as an independent thing. And because of that, the fact that it feels so much like home to people like me, and because yes, it may be played for laughs, but a lot of it (Hirrus for one great example) really is not meant to be funny, and because youre MEANT to become a part of it (and therefore see these people as YOUR people), i think........ Its perfectly alright to really appreciate the isles and enjoy its depiction of people like me - i mean... Lets be honest here.... If it was inaccurate, you wouldnt have as many people on the schizospec and psychotic spec being like damn we love this as we do have

[inklingofinspiration]

hello may i have demon slayer match-up

my name is rex, i’m queer and use they/them pronouns and i’m 15. And i would prefer someone not over the age of 19 plz.

have like a caramel colored skin-tone (i feel like saying im black may be easier but 🤷🏽‍♀️) and im 5’3. Rn i have a purple-pink short mullet and i have pretty curly hair, im pretty chubby but i have an hourglass shape (but i have super noticeable hip dips) , i got pretty big fucking tittes (not even in a bragging way, im a fuckin k cup bro😭) and thicc thighs(thicc thighs save lives, sorry i’ll stop). I dress pretty alternative but i cant just choose one subculture tho, i wear a lot of heavy eye makeup. I could say i dress kinda “showy” but thats kinda what only fits me, but also who gives a fuck.

Honestly I don’t really have a type. Tbh most of my relationships have ended pretty badly cause they ether only wanted something sexual from me or I was “too clingy” when i just wanted basic ass affection. But the most I want is someone who is physically affectionate (like kisses, cuddles, and hugs for days) also im ok with pda to an extent like i will hug and like cuddle you but im not gonna make out with your infront of others thats weird af.

Im a libra sun, scropio moon, and gemini rising. This means that im a pretty social person and always wanna hang out with friends and just have fun, but moon in scropio makes my emotions rlly haywire and kinda boosts any sorta negative emotion, which is hard when you have chronic anxiety and major depressive disorder. Which also means i take medication for it, which i forget a lot. And because of these things i have anxiety tics, where it ranges to making noices and twitching a bit to full on hitting myself and saying random shit. But I really like making people laugh, it makes me feel helpful, but im also good at being to mother figure for people. I also like playfully bantering with people, like i love you but will full on roast you and get into fake fist-fights. I am a bit of a violent person at times but I have a punching bag and boxing gloves which help a lot. But I only get that angry when someone uses an insecurity of mine against me or is talking bad about someone i love, cause it you do that im beating your ass. I do have a bit of body insecurities mainly about my hip-dips and stomach. But because im curvy i get hit on by adults a lot and its creepy as fuck.

My hobbies include art (painting, drawing), sleeping (because i stay up mad late😭✌🏽), reading comics, Marvel and D.C superheroes, and super villains, cartoons, and anime/manga.

My favorite music genre’s are rock, alternative, emo, rap, and a little bit if indie music.

Personality: funny, sarcastic, creative, kind, inappropriate and the right times. Like im not gonna pull out a dick joke in front of your family

I don’t really have a type and im queer so i dont have a gender preference, but anyone who’s love language is physical affection cause im a clingy bitch

I have a couple ideal dates. So the first one is like an indoor picnic and a movie, an arcade date, and a stargazing date where you get take out or fast food and drive up a hill to see the stars and you like cuddle n shit.

A/N: I've been wanting to do a KNY matchup, so let's do this. But first, can I just say that you sound like such a stunning person?? (You cannot tell me that you're not, I know I'm right) Your hair must be fucking incredible, I absolutely love mullets, and don't even get me started on how nice and fun of a person you seem to be [/pos]. Your request was a blast to read through, so I was pretty hyped for this matchup and knew off the bat who you would pair well with.

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I'd ship you with. . .

Inosukue! Honestly, it would be so funny watching the two of you interact at first; when you guys first meet (if I'm reading you correctly), he would be challenging you to some random ass competition off the bat, it doesn't matter where the two of you are. After seeing you kick ass (you can't tell me you wouldn't) during a fight with a few high-level demons, he'd take it as an indirect challenge and there would be no getting out of it. He would probably want to actually fight you, but you'd probably have him on the ground in, like, a minute, so all that would do is make him even more fixated on beating you in something.

For the next few weeks, he will turn everything into a competition, whether it's who can eat their dinner the fastest, who does the best in training (assuming you're not a hashira), etc. You humour him for a bit, maybe even the first two weeks, but after a while, it just gets tiring and even Inosuke needs a break at some point. He'd probably end up stumbling across you painting//drawing after a long day of training at the Butterfly Estate, and would just kinda watch you for a minute. While it’s truly out of character for him to be stunned into silence, just watching you so at peace and makes him wonder how you’re able to switch between your social and robust self to. . . something like the quiet, tranquil ambiance you had about you then.

But once he snaps out of it, he'd march over to you and ask what you were doing, that kind of thing. When you explain that you're just drawing//painting, all your free will of drawing what you want to is over, you get no more of that. He is forcing you to draw him, no matter how much you protest, and after you're done, he's parading around and bragging to EVERYONE that you drew him. To be honest, he wouldn't stop talking about it for the next few days, and if he ever needs a boost in an argument with someone (Zenitsu), he's bringing it up.

"You can't just take my food!" Zenitsu cried, clearly agitated and distraught over the fact that Inosuke had taken over half his meal after he had polished everything else off. Tanjirou had gone off to give Nezuko some food, which had left you in charge of watching over the two to make sure they didn't wreck some ancient hashira heirloom that was left lying around, but not even five minutes after and they were already looking like they were about to start swinging at each other. Inosuke, who barely even looked up from the stolen food before continuing his fervent attempts to eat everything in sight, grunted a low chuckle, clearly only encouraged by the lightning-wielder.

"Why not? You left it sitting there, so I called it," He responded between vigorous bites, the entire scenario only making you watch in flickering bemusement, torn between whether you should intervene or let it continue on. Entertainment while you ate was never something you could complain about, and this was certainly better than any play you could go see; besides, nature had to work it's course somehow, right?

"Rex-chaaannn," Zenitsu whined, his voice instantly gaining a more sugary sweet tone, rather than the course, unchecked one he had used on the boar head just a few moments ago. "Tell Inosuke to give me back my food."

You bit your lip in an attempt to hold back laughter when the accused slayer shouted something from across the table, "Shut up, Monitsu!"

The clearly incorrect pronunciation of his name sent Zenitsu into a fit, shouting practically unintelligible things from how fast he was talking, looking as though he were about ready to jump across the table to try and fight him when you burst into laughter, unable to contain it any longer. Inosuke spared you a brief glance, but the somewhat proud smirk that took residence upon his features as he continued to eat wasn't something that you exactly missed but chose not to point it out.

"I don't think there's much for you to eat now anyways," You finally commented after recovering from your fit of laughter, heaving an amused sigh when Zenitsu let out a noise of dismay.

"You can't keep taking my food, you simpleton!"

"Yeah I can, they drew ME, not you, so that's just another reason that I'm better than you!"

It would just be a love hate relationship between you guys; while you have your playful fights (both verbal banter and physical), you'r always there to back the other up in combat and Inosuke appreciate the support in his own, odd little way. For whatever reason, though, he still feels like he has to prove that he's better than you and insists that he just lets you stick around to give you something to do. When really, it's probably just the other way around.

I get the feeling that you'd probably throw your arm around his shoulders after a successful fight and boast about how you two did more work than Tanjirou and Zenitsu (playfully, obviously). Whenever you do that, it fills him with so much pride and for a second it doesn't register in his head for the first time, like?? 'They're not challenging ME? The hell's this about?' before realizing what you're saying and it only makes him more egotistical. He'd put up a weak front and say something like "Lord Inosuke did most of the work, Krex!" (the incorrect name </3) but wouldn't say much against you aside from that.

When you guys start dating and he gets introduced to physical affection, he gets so confused by what the hell it all means, but secretly enjoys your hugs nevertheless. After the two of you confessed, he would definitely brag about it and hold it over everyone's heads, like he did with the drawing, and it's just beyond humorous at that point.

Inosuke would 100% finally get your name right, and whenever anyone complains that he gets yours and not theirs, his knee-jerk reaction is always to respond with; "Yeah, 'cause they're important". Would cause endless conflict among people, but it's worth it seeing him be so stupid, insulting and caring all at the same time.

He carries you around a lot, especially enjoys giving you piggyback rides or parading around the Butterfly Estate with you hefted up on his shoulders, announcing to everyone that the two of you are "coming through". He will probably show you off a lot, because he just finds you to be such a great person and wants everyone to know that you exist and will be sure that no one cuts you off when you speak!!

He teaches you his breathing technique, change my mind.

As far as your ideal dates go, you're probably the only person who would be able to get him to sit still long enough for that kind of thing, let alone ENJOY it, but he's willing to do whatever makes you happy. (Don't be discouraged by however begrudgingly he may act when following after you to go to them, he's hyped to get to spend time with you) While he has his different ideas of fun, you always manage to persuade him to do that kind of stuff with him, and he'll almost always agree.

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed, this was super fun to write, and I definitely laughed quite a bit when writing it! I'm so sorry if this took a long time, I have six weeks exams, so I was busy studying, but I should be getting to these super soon. Thank you guys all for the requests, matchups are now closed, but will be reopened as soon as I clear out all the ones waiting to be done.