#im not a THIN person though - you can say I am relatively thinner than X

[chubbychummy]

Definitely not overstepping, but also all due respect, I am indeed squishy.

I have never been a "thin person" - I've been either normal or overweight BMI my whole life. Sure, you can say BMI is a BS metric and I agree, but also my body fat percentage is fairly high (thus the squishy). Never been underweight and, in my adult life, have always had a higher BF% (idk like 26%?). Am very squishy.

I'm also what is considered "fat for an Asian" (I recently learned there is actually a completely separate BMI scale for east Asian people). Anyhow.

All that aside, I have only my own self image to compare, and how I exist physically is not how I would like to be perceived physically.

The muscle I have means I carry my excess weight in a way that makes people think I'm trimmer than I am.

Anyhow2. I have seen myself leaner and I do find that I enjoy myself a lot more when I am leaner. I've always been more pro-useful muscle than just body building (what is it - functional fitness?), but rn I'm basically super inactive so I'm neither building functional muscles nor nonfunctional muscles lol, so I also feel like shit about that.

I think for my own goals, it'd be nice to be a bit leaner and I'm toying with the idea of building my upper body more (hard time with this bc aesthetically I like the V taper but also I mostly want a body that is optimized for climbing, and building aesthetic upper body bulk is not the same as developing functional upper body bulk from activity).

Aaaaanyhow3. This is just a random brain fart on my end.