#im not gone yet but soon will be so enjoy shitty posts from day to day lol

[daceyarik]

yep, they are judging you, keep scrolling

[beifongsss]

birthday [sero]

Pairing: Sero x reader

Requested?: Yes! a lovely anon said: “Ahh im so happy to hear you're taking bnha requests!!! So recently it was resident tape boys birthday,,, i was wondering if you could do something where it leads into the two slow dancing in his room?? Thank you so much, i really appreciate you taking the time out of your day to crank out amazing works 🥺🥺”

Summary: (late birthday post for this boy) You try to get the Bakusquad to help you set up a small birthday celebration for Sero. It seems to be going as planned but little do you know, Mina’s main goal is to get the two of you to confess your feelings.

w.c.~ 1.7k

.masterlist. taglist form.

my first time writing for bnha so i’m sorry if it’s not that good! also idk if i’d write for sero again bc it was low key hard 

~

It had been an exhausting day, with you running around trying to keep the Bakusquad under control.

You had been planning Sero’s surprise birthday party and the hardest part about it was making sure that everyone acted as though you had forgotten that there was something to celebrate. There had been many close calls, with Kaminari almost asking him what flavor cake he wanted and Kirishima almost shouting a loud ‘happy birthday!’ when Sero first walked into class.

You had been quick to jump over his desk, slapping your hand across his mouth and earning yourself multiple confused looks as you tried to explain that it was a new game you and Kirishima were playing. It was the dumbest excuse ever and you could hear Bakugou cackling in the background but Sero hadn’t commented, instead choosing to give you a worried nod before slipping into his chair. 

As soon as the bell had rung, you had sprinted out of the classroom, pulling Bakugou along behind you as you motioned for Kirishima and Kaminari to distract Sero. Even though Bakugou muttered multiple profanities under his breath as he followed you, he dutifully helped you pick out the materials you needed, claiming that if he was being forced to attend some shitty party he was going to make sure that it wouldn’t be a bad one. 

Sneaking back into the dorms was the hardest part and you could faintly hear Sero in the common room as he asked Mina where you were. Truth be told, he was pretty upset. He had been waiting for this day for months, ever since you promised him that you would spend his birthday with him doing whatever he wanted. Now that the day had arrived, you were nowhere to be found and he was wondering why you had told him that and then gone back on your word. 

You rushed into the kitchen to check on Sato, who had happily agreed to bake a cake for Sero, before sneaking into the elevator. Once you had reached Sero’s floor, you managed to sneak into his room, knowing that he always left it unlocked because he hated carrying his key around. Even with Bakugou’s condescending comments, the two of you managed to set up pretty quickly. Balloons were floating around the room, some covering the ground along with some confetti. There were streamers hung up all around the room, a sparkly banner positioned right above his bed displaying the two words you were yet to tell your crush friend. 

Once you were done with the set up, you stepped back, brushing your hands off as you looked around in wonder. 

“Thanks, Bakugou,” you said, smiling at the grumpy boy. “This is gonna be great, I can already tell.”

Bakugou simply scoffed before throwing himself onto Sero’s bed. Shaking your head, you went back down to the kitchen, grabbing Mina’s attention beforehand. She joined you in the kitchen, the two of you praising Sato for his amazing work on Sero’s birthday cake. After handing the cake over to Mina, she went up to his room and you went into the common room. Kaminari and Kirishima exchanged a subtle glance as you nodded at them and they quickly said their goodbyes to Sero before heading up to his room as well. You sighed softly as you plopped down onto the couch, leaning your head on Sero’s shoulder. He glanced down at you, smiling softly when you reached up to scratch the tip of your nose.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten,” you said, breaking the silence first. Sero’s heart swelled at your words before shrinking back down again when you continued speaking. “We have that quiz tomorrow and you haven’t studied.”

Sero’s smile dropped in annoyance and you had to stop yourself before you could apologize and tell him that you did indeed remember his birthday. You shuffled off the couch, heading to the elevator before turning around. “You coming? We can study in your room. I’ll even let you pick the music!”

He trailed after you quietly, trying to hide his disappointment as the elevator ascended. When you reached his room, you stood behind him, earning you a confused glance because he knew that you knew that his room was unlocked. So why weren’t you opening it?

“Surprise!”

Sero stumbled back slightly as he looked around his room. Bakugou was still on his bed, a scowl on his face as he scrolled through his phone. Kaminari and Kirishima were wearing party hats, party horns being held between their lips as they made a racket. Mina was standing in the middle of the room, a large smile on her face as she held a delicious-looking cake. The rest of your classmates were also there, each of them holding a gift and chanting ‘happy birthday!’. 

“Happy birthday, tape boy,” you said softly, wrapping your arms around him from behind. You were smiling widely, happy that things had gone according to plan no matter how many times your friends had almost ruined the surprise. Sero turned around and hugged you tightly, his heart leaping into his throat as he realized you had done this all for him. 

“Thank you,” he whispered, grinning widely before turning to face his friends. 

The party went well, both you and Sero flitting from group to group but never quite spending any time together. Everyone was aware of the lingering glances you would send to each other and as day turned into evening, everyone began to make excuses and leave, making sure to wish Sero a final ‘happy birthday’ before they left. Eventually, it was only the Bakusquad left and you had fun filming a silly unwrapping video of each of Sero’s gifts. After that was done, Bakugou was the first to leave, stating that it was way too late and that he needed to sleep. Kaminari was the next to go, saying that Yaoyorozu had agreed to give him a late night review session for the upcoming test. 

After a few more minutes, Mina let out a fake yawn and tugged Kirishima off of the ground. She sent you a sly smile, pausing at the door and turning to face Sero. 

“Well it’s getting late, we should go,” she said, smiling sweetly before turning back to you. “See you tomorrow (Y/N/N) don’t forget to tell Sero that thing you mentioned. Bye!”

The door shut before either of you could react and you laughed nervously before turning to face Sero. He was looking at you, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you drifted back into his room. 

“What was she talking about?”

“N-Nothing!” you squeaked, turning away from him and flopping onto his bed. “We really should do some studying though.”

Sero hummed, not replying to you before he turned and opened up his laptop. He connected to his speakers before turning his chair to face you. “So what do you wanna listen to?”

“Whatever you want,” you replied, glad that he was choosing to ignore Mina’s words. “I told you I’d let you pick the music!”

You pulled out your notebook, smiling as you heard Sero mutter to himself. After a few seconds of silence, he let out a sound of approval and you perked up as you heard soft music fill the room.

“Well that’s a bit different from your usual music choices,” you teased, frowning slightly when Sero didn’t reply. You turned around, seeing him standing a few inches away from you and causing you to jump. “Geez, Sero. Give me a little warning next time!”

Wordlessly, Sero held his hand out and you took it, giving him a questioning gaze. He pulled you forward and you stumbled slightly, falling into his chest as he led you to the center of the room. He chuckled at you before placing your hands around his neck and putting his own around your waist. You hesitantly laid your head on his shoulder, your heart pounding as the two of you started swaying softly to the music. 

“Thank you,” Sero said softly, his voice barely louder than the music.

“What for?” you replied. 

“Everything.”

“It’s your birthday, silly,” you said. “I wouldn’t have forgotten it. You deserve to be celebrated.”

Sero was glad that you couldn’t see his face as he broke into a bright blush. Still holdin you close, he cleared his throat before speaking again. “Not just for that. I mean for everything, (Y/N). You do so much for me. But yes, thank you for today as well.”

You pulled back slightly, smiling up at Sero. “You do so much for me too, Sero. I love you.”

The music faded for a few seconds as the previous song ended and the new one began. The silence was overwhelming and you felt yourself flush under Sero’s gaze as you realized what you had just said. Before you could fully pull away and run to your room to hide, Sero carefully cupped your cheek and leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your lips before nudging your head back to its spot on his shoulder. 

“Is that what Mina wanted you to tell me?” he asked, laughing softly when you nodded. “I love you too.”

“Happy birthday, Sero,” you said, closing your eyes as you enjoyed the moment. 

“Happy birthday to me indeed.”

~

A few hours later, Mina Ashido was rushing through the dorms when she realized that she didn’t have her phone. She didn’t bother to knock as she burst into Sero’s room, immediately locating the device and placing it in her pocket. 

“Sorry for just bursting..” Mina began, turning to face Sero but trailing off when she saw the two of you curled up in his bed sound asleep. “In.”

Smiling, she fished her phone out of her pocket and snapped a few pictures before sprinting out of the room to locate Kirishima and Kaminari, making sure to close the door quietly as she left. She couldn’t help but giggle wildly as she showed everyone the picture, knowing that when you awoke the next morning you would be pissed. But she could deal with that. 

She was just happy that her two friends had finally gotten together. 

[mischiefandi]

A Shitty Love Song (Part 1) - Stiles Stilinski

Wild Ones

A/N: hey everyone! this has been a long time coming! thank you for lovely comments on my previous post, im super happy to finally be posting this. a HUGE thank you to @duskholland​ for helping me out so much with this series, ily to death bitch. enjoyy yall

Summary: Y/N is a 17 year old girl who struggles in an epic battle against herself. Whether it is amor’s icy grasp or life’s unexpected course that forces her to finally open up, only one thing is certain. The truth cannot be long hidden.

Warnings: underage drinking, party times, maybe a couple of swear words but im not sure haha

Word Count: 5,3K

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski x Reader (Y/N)

Series Masterlist

(picture is not mine -> credits to @ pechka on unsplash)

Seasons before, in the early fall where the leaves don’t yet want to leave their wooden hooks, Y/N had just started her junior year of high school. Being the new girl in school, she was afraid of being alone - something she had always been - but not this year. Whether it was chance or fate, she happened to fall upon a curious but wonderful group of people who quickly became her friends.  

At its center, Scott McCall, young lacrosse player with a boyish charm and a heart of gold and by his side, Stiles Stilinski, an eccentric and spirited young man. Surrounding them were Lydia Martin, the fiery and confident genius, the sweet yet lethal huntress, Allison Argent, and finally Isaac Lahey, charming Mr Mischief himself.

This pack of wild cards had found a new companion, and Y/N fit in like a puzzle piece filling in its designated spot. She got along with everyone in the group, forming indestructible friendships with these eccentric teenagers, and she felt fortunate beyond belief. More often than not, she would eat with them by the walnut tree outside of the school. The group would share stories and food, complaining about the soporific lessons from the earlier period, or excitedly planning the next outing, the next party. Every week, the teenagers would go hang out in the woods by the mystical ruins of the Hale House, doing more of the same. Life was light and good.

The group had planned on hanging out by the Hale House one quiet September afternoon, but the universe likes to play tricks, and somehow Y/N and Stiles were the only ones to show up. Deeming it a happy accident, the pair walked through the damp woods together, talking about their day and slowly letting each other in. Laughter echoed between the trees and the wind turned.

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

A little more than a month had gone by and Halloween was just around the corner. Classes seemed longer than usual, bigger stacks of schoolwork forming daunting piles on Y/N’s desk. But school was the last thing she could think of when she got home after a long day of concentration. The only thing that mattered, was Stiles. Video calls, phone calls, and late night texts that seemed to never cease took over the second Y/N’s feet passed the threshold of her home. And nothing compared to these conversations.

“I’m sorry but no.”

“Stiles, stop, seriously.”

The mole-speckled boy lunged forward in front of the screen and passed a shaking hand through his spiky hair.

“There is no way you like the second trilogy better than the first one. It’s just not possible.”

“Well it is possible, because I do,” Y/N retorted, her unfazed expression gleaming back at him.

“Literally how? The group dynamic alone should make you see reason. I mean come on. Han and Leia? Han and Chewie? Han and Luke?”

“You do know Star Wars doesn’t exclusively revolve around Han Solo right?” she asked, her lips breaking into a smirk.

“First of all, no. Second, give me one single reason why the second trilogy is better than the first,” Stiles said, “I dare you.”

“One reason?”

The boy nodded, serious as a statue.

“Hayden Christensen.”

Stiles groaned deeply, his face buried in his large hands.

“Can’t even have a serious discussion about Star Wars with someone rational.”

“I’m not sorry.”

“You’re the worst.”

Y/N paused, holding a finger to her chin.

“Hmm, agree to disagree.”

“Son of a bitch.”

“Hey! How can we have an intelligent debate about anything if you use swearing as a last resort.”

“I have given up on us. It’s over.”

Y/N laughed profusely against her pillow, shaking her head.

“You’re a drama queen.”

“FRIENDSHIP OVER!” Stiles bellowed and Y/N shot her head back, unstoppable laughter erupting from her stomach.

“It’s going to make things awkward at the party, Friday,” Y/N said between chuckles, her laughter quieting down.

“Who said you were even invited,” replied Stiles, adjusting his shirt, revealing a tiny patch of skin just above his sweats. Y/N’s eyes flicked over to the screen but the second had passed.

“Funny. Listen, I gotta get some sleep otherwise I’ll pass out in math or something.”

“Yeah, I should probably also go to bed sometime soon.”

“Hopefully before tomorrow morning.”

“Har-har,” said Stiles, smiling at the camera, his chocolatey irises beaming at Y/N.

“Goodnight nerd.”

“Goodnight loser.”

Y/N stuck out her tongue at Stiles before hanging up the call.

That night, as she carefully brushed her teeth and got her clothes ready for the next day, Y/N thought back on her video call with Stiles, a warm smile spreading on her lips.

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

The week passed so slowly, each hour lasting an exhausting eternity. School, demanding as ever, while keeping Y/N busy, was the reason why time seemed so lengthy. The nasty side-effect from tantalizing hours is the amount of thinking you do to keep busy. So Y/N did just that. She thought about how much she cared for her group of friends, she thought about the fact that she had never felt like she belonged like she did then.

She thought about how nice it was sitting by the Hale House, enjoying each others’ company, how life is so much lighter when you feel surrounded, how much she had learned about herself after meeting the pack. She thought about the band Stiles and her liked so much. She thought about Star Wars. She thought about the sound her computer made when Stiles sent her a message. She thought of his hair, his moles, his neck. She thought about how thrilling it was when he sat next to her. She thought about how much he mattered in her life, just like the others mattered too.

Y/N did so much thinking that week. But the funny thing is, amor has a way of tricking your mind. Your body believes one thing but your mind has been bewitched, and no amount of thinking you do can remove the fog clouding over your eyes. 

When came Friday, Y/N was happy to be done with school, bursting through the doors of the establishment, excited to go home and get ready for Danny’s Blackout Party. She was thrilled about going, however nervous she felt. 

She had never been to a party like Danny’s rave before and she had no idea what to expect. But more importantly, she was afraid of crowds. She had tried going out to packed bars with people from her old school, but the chaos and the drunks surrounding her made her feel beyond uneasy. 

“Y/N! Wait up!” She heard Allison exclaim, and she slowed down her pace, allowing the brunette to catch up with her.

“Are you excited for tonight?” asked Allison, her light brown eyes gleaming brightly.

“Yeah, it’s gonna be...crazy.”

“You okay?”

Y/N forced a smile and nodded overenthusiastically.

“Yeah! Just tired. It was a long day,” she replied.

“Same here, which is why, we need to let loose tonight! Let’s get ready at Lydia’s, so we can all head over there together.”

“Sure. Quick question though, how did Lydia get us invited in the first place?”

Allison giggled, nodding her head towards Aiden and Ethan standing by their motorcycles.

“How do you think?”

The girl’s laughter echoed through the cool autumn air and disappeared with their cars. It was going to be a night to remember.

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

As Y/N and Allison reached Lydia’s house, Y/N couldn’t help but feel more and more anxious, tightly gripping her bag filled with clothes and makeup. The party was starting to worry her.

People had been whispering about it all day back at the high school, talking about the numerous illicit drinks that would be served and the intriguing entertainment. It seemed like the Danny had gone all out for Halloween. Still, not knowing exactly what to expect practically terrified Y/N. 

She was outgoing, but big crowds and chaos were things that made panic bubble up inside of her very core, quickening her heartbeat to a frightening extent. She loved dancing and partying, and much like other people her age, she loved a good drink every once in a while, but huge events and big blowouts, she had never been a fan of.

Putting on a brave face, Y/N shut the car door and walked up the stairs to Lydia’s front porch, ringing the doorbell as Allison locked the car. After what seemed like mere seconds, Lydia opened the door, letting the excited girls in.

“Finally. I thought I was going to have to get going without you,” she said, smirking at the pair.

“Y/N couldn’t decide what to wear,” replied Allison, sending Y/N a look that made Lydia scoff.

“Excuse me if I've never been to a neon-themed rave. How am I supposed to know what to wear?”

“Well the name of said rave could be a pretty good indicator,” mocked Lydia as the girls walked up to her bedroom, shutting the door behind them.

“Ali, what are you wearing?”

Allison giggled with a smirk and did a demonstrative twirl, showing off her burgundy flannel shirt and black jeans.

“This!”

Lydia raised her eyebrows at the brunette, a confused expression etched on her face.

“Am I the only one here who understands the term “neon”?” she asked.

Allison shook her head then slowly unbuttoned her shirt, revealing a neon pink bra.

Y/N laughed, shaking her head. This stunt was definitely orchestrated for someone special.

“Wow. Isaac will love it.”

“It’s about time you two did something about your situation,” joked Lydia, reaching for an eyelash curler.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” replied Allison with an innocent shrug and a slightly less innocent wink.

“Well now that Allison’s outfit is sorted, it’s your turn, Y/N. Let’s see what’s in this enormous bag of yours.”

The strawberry blonde bent down and grabbed Y/N’s bag before she could say anything, emptying its contents in a flash.

“No, no, definitely not, no…Y/N, why are all of these clothes black?” inquired Lydia, with a look of disgust she had difficulty hiding.

“Lyds, I told you, I don’t know what to wear to a rave.”

“Show me your bra.”

“What?”

“Show me your bra. If it’s the right colour, we can just pair it with some of my clothes.”

Y/N reluctantly removed her white shirt, revealing an electric blue floral lace bra, much to Lydia’s delight. Allison whistled approvingly.

“Okay here’s what we’re gonna do.” Lydia walked over to her closet, carefully studying its contents. Allison and Y/N exchanged a glance as Lydia clapped her hands together.

“This goes with this, and you have to tuck it in, like so,” she said, “okay, try this on. Now.”

Y/N looked down at the outfit her friend had put together.

“Yes ma’am,” she mumbled, her face as white as a sheet.

Y/N walked to the corner of the room as the girls chatted and finished getting ready. Her heart thundered as she passed her neck through the bottom of the sheer black top Lydia had handed to her. Looking herself in the mirror, all she could see was a blushing dishevelled mess. Her bra covered most of her chest, but the curves of her breasts were only slightly hidden by the black mesh material she was wearing.

“Okay, this is okay…” she muttered to herself, trying not to panic.

Bending down, she grabbed the black layered skirt she had brought with her and brought it up to her hips, tucking the top inside. The skirt helped balance out the outfit, but still Y/N wasn’t fully convinced.

“How are you feeling?”

“Kind of nervous honestly.”

“I meant how do you feel about the outfit- but you’re nervous? Why?” asked Lydia, walking over to Y/N in front of the full-length mirror.

“It’s just- I’ve never been to a big party like tonight, much less looking like…this,” Y/N reluctantly replied.

Lydia bit her lip and sucked in some air before smiling widely at Y/N and taking a step forward.

“By “looking like this” I hope you mean by looking incredible. Y/N, look at yourself. You’re tall and confident, the outfit looks amazing on you. Your look is not the problem,” she said, gently.

“Then what is?”

“You tell us,” replied Allison, walking over to the girls by the mirror.

Y/N exhaled deeply and turned around to face her friends.

“I hate crowds. I love partying don’t get me wrong, I just- I get really really panicky around big crowds of people. The noise, the warmth, all of it, just terrifies me. I’m worried that I’ll hate it and freak out or something. I’m sorry, I probably should have said something before.”

As soon as the daunting words had slipped through her lips, Y/N felt a weight lift from her weary shoulders, a wave of relief passing over her entire body.

“Hey, it’s okay. Everyone’s got something they’re uncomfortable with. It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” said Allison, sweetly.

“I know, it’s not that I’m ashamed, I just- didn’t wanna be a downer. I really am excited for tonight! I’m just nervous.”

Lydia placed her hands on Y/N’s shoulders and smiled brightly.

“Look, you’re gorgeous right now. Even without my help, you’re gorgeous. And tonight, we’ll be around the whole time. If you feel freaked out or you start to panic, we’ll go outside and get some fresh air. We don’t mind.”

“Exactly, we’re your friends. You know you can depend on us on occasion,” Allison joked and Y/N laughed, shaking her head timidly.

“Seriously, Y/N, we’re gonna have a ton of fun tonight. And if you need anything, whatsoever, we’re both here,” added Lydia.

Y/N’s heart swelled and she felt her eyes filling slowly. Blinking the impending tears away, she smiled widely, her radiant eyes following suite.

“Thank you, both of you. You’re the best.”

“Agreed. Now, that’s sorted. Are you comfortable with the outfit?” asked Lydia.

Y/N looked at herself in the mirror, analyzing every detail of her figure, taking in how “out there” the outfit was. After a few seconds, she nodded to herself and smiled.

“You know what? You only live once.”

Allison giggled and rested her arms on Y/N’s shoulder.

“Tonight is going to be amazing!”

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

As Lydia’s car pulled into the parking lot in front of the venue - a large concrete building comparable to a construction site - Y/N sent a text to her friend.

Y/N: we just got to danny’s party

Y/N: u guys here?

The girls looked up at the windows on the top level, the neon lights shining through catching their attention, the music already reaching their ears.

The group excitedly entered the building, Y/N’s heart thundering against her ribcage. Allison noticed the worried look on her friend’s face and she slipped her hand in hers, sending her a warm smile. Y/N took a deep breath, and the three beautiful girls went into the otherwise empty elevator. On the way up, Y/N’s phone vibrated against her palm and she looked down at the screen.

Stiles: we aren’t there yet

Stiles: Scott needed to go get something

Y/N’s heart couldn’t help but sink a little. She had hoped the boys were going to be there already, though why, she couldn’t say. Her phone interrupted her thoughts again.

Scott: by smth, Stiles means someone

Scott: and by someone, he means Kira

Scott: also we’re late because of the jeep

Scott: ;)

Y/N chuckled and texted him back, Lydia and Allison sharing an inquisitive look.

Y/N: figures :))

“Who is that?” asked Allison as the elevator doors opened.

Y/N winced slightly and turned to Allison.

“It’s the boys. Scott was just telling me they picked up Kira…”

“Oh.”

Lydia looked from Allison to Y/N, and back, the awkwardness beyond tangible.

“Are you okay?” asked Y/N, worried that the news had killed the mood.

“Honestly? I don’t love the idea of partying with my ex and his new girlfriend, but we broke up three months ago. We’ve both moved on. Besides, I really like Isaac. I’m not gonna let this ruin my evening,” Allison answered, a soft smile on her lips.

“Allison has Isaac, Scott has Kira, Stiles- well I don’t know about Stiles. That leaves you and me, Y/N. You can help me avoid Aiden tonight,” said Lydia, straightening her dress.

“Aiden, as in, the guy you hooked up with who just so happens to be the guy who invited you to this rave?”

“Precisely.” Lydia walked away hurriedly, and the girls laughed, entering the venue.

The grey concrete in the hall was uncharacteristically bland compared to the other-worldly burst of colours inside of the venue. Neon blue, pink, orange, yellow, and green exploding in every direction, paired with blaring purple lights attached to the concrete beams above the dancefloor where what looked like at least 70 people were jumping up and down to the beat of Losing It by FISHER. Strands of white UV tubes hanging from the ceiling all around the dancefloor lit up every white item of clothing in the room, turning the pure colour into a bright purple.

This giant nebula of chaos and colour made Y/N’s blood pump ten times faster throughout her body. That or the the bass blasting through the giant speakers by the DJ. Either way, the thrill of it made Y/N shiver, her whole body completely frozen in place. 

“This is crazy!” Allison gasped.

“Danny really went all out,” said Lydia, staring at the dancing figures in the center of the room.

Y/N’s phone buzzing woke her from her trance and she read the text.

Stiles: be there in about 20 minutes

Stiles: can’t wait to embarrass you on the dancefloor

Y/N: oof

“Let’s go get a drink,” Lydia urged, walking over to the large snack table with numerous bottles. Y/N read the labels and nodded, impressed by the wide range of drinks.

“Wow. Jack Daniels, vodka, a shitton of beer, wine coolers, rum, Jagermeister…Danny really did go all out.”

“Pass me a cup,” said Allison.

As the girls filled their glasses, Lydia eyed Y/N’s cup.

“Y/N, are you sure you want to start with a triple shot of vodka?”

“Yeah, it’s fine!” Y/N exclaimed, downing the drink before anyone could stop her and gasping as the strong liquid burned its way down her throat.

“Ohkay, take it easy,” said Allison, shooting a worried glance at Lydia.

“I’ve got it under control,” replied Y/N as she refilled her cup.

“Let’s go dance!”

Allison dragged the girls away from the table, walking over to the dancefloor. Y/N downed her second drink and nodded wearily.

“Yesss, let’s do this!”

The looming herd of party-goers, intimidating as it was, seemed a little less daunting now that Y/N was actually at the party.

“How bad could it be?” she thought to herself before treading through the mass, occasionally bumping against people energetically throwing their limbs around.

In the middle of the chaos, Allison stopped and started moving her hips in sync with the song, Lydia quickly following suit. Y/N bobbed her head along to the beat of the bass, her arms swinging awkwardly on either side of her body. Allison laughed and grabbed her friend’s arms forcing the movement to flow through Y/N’s limbs. Lydia busted up and down, moving her waist so naturally it seemed like she had been born for this very moment.

Closing her eyes, Y/N tried to focus on the music vibrating throughout her body, the memory of the colours surrounding her floating behind her eyelids. Allison sang along with the lyrics of the current song, shouting out the words as she moved from side to side. Y/N slowly started to lose herself to the music, letting go of her inhibitions, forgetting the world around her.

When the beat changed, her feet jumped up and down, as if they had a mind of their own. Her head felt heavy yet no thoughts crossed her mind. The music had gotten rid of all concentration, the only thing left was the bass flowing through her veins, making her entire body pulsate to the beat.

Beads of sweat trickled down Y/N’s neck as she kept dancing, her feet starting to ache with every jump. It had only been about fifteen minutes, but to the dancers, it seemed like a wonderful eternity. Finally, Lydia tapped on Y/N’s shoulder and shouted by her ear.

“Let’s do some body painting!”

Y/N nodded profusely, a wide smile on her lips.

“Ali went to dance with Isaac!” Lydia shouted as the pair pushed through the crowd.

“Where’s the paint?” shouted Y/N, trying to hear her own voice over the music and failing miserably.

“Over there!”

A tall blonde boy holding brushes with purple and pink tips smiled as the girls reached him, his charismatic grin turning Y/N’s cheeks bright red.

“What can I do for you ladies?” he asked, his pearly white teeth a bright purple as his grin widened.

“My friend over here needs a lot of paint. Emphasis on lot,”Lydia insisted.

Y/N shook her head, giggling stupidly.

“Not too much paint,” she said warmly.

The boy smiled with a wink.

“Let me worry about that.”

Y/N removed her mesh top, holding it with her right hand, patiently waiting for the boy to start painting across her chest and back. She shivered as she felt the cool wet tip of the brush meet her sweaty skin, sliding a few inches down, a thick stripe of paint spreading across her back. Y/N giggled at the cold feeling, the alcohol in her system reaching her head. She closed her eyes and bent her neck to the side as the boy continued his line up to her collarbone.

“What’s your name?” she heard him ask.

“What’s yours?” she chose to answer, smiling wickedly.

She heard him laugh as he started painting little dots up her back.

“Jeremy.”

“Nice to meet you, Jeremy.”

“You know most girls like a proper introduction before getting this close,” he said over the pulsating music, his breath fanning over Y/N’s neck as he painted small strokes down her shoulder. Y/N grinned mischievously.

“I’m not like most girls,” she teased as she turned to face him.

“No, I guess you’re not,” the boy replied, his eyes darting towards her lips and back up.

“I’m almost done with your body- I mean with the paint,” he said, shaking his head with a grin. Y/N giggled and stepped closer.

“I’m all yours…” she replied.

Jeremy’s deep blue eyes lingered on hers before focusing on her chest. Y/N thanked the universe that he wasn’t looking straight at her, otherwise he would have seen her cheeks fill with red for the second time. He delicately placed pink and orange dots up and down her chest, careful as to not stain her bra and she watched him, observing his concentration with admiration. Finally, he looked up, smiling at her.

“My masterpiece is done,” he declared, placing the paintbrush on the body paint stand.

Jeremy reached for a mirror and handed it to her. She admired the strands and dots painted across her body in a chaotic waltz, the hot purple and pink clashing against her skin. Looking up at him, she grinned widely.

“You’re talented,” she said.

“It’s easier when you have such a good canvas to work on…” he replied, sending her a look hot enough to melt her.

Momentarily remembering the outside world, she looked around and quickly realized Lydia wasn’t there anymore, probably off dancing or looking for Allison. Y/N turned back to Jeremy.

“I’m sorry, I should probably go check on my friends…” she said, biting her lip as she slipped her mesh shirt back on.

“Of course. Maybe later, we’ll bump into each other on the dance floor?” he replied, a nervous smile etched on his lips.

“Yeah, maybe.”

Y/N winked at him and walked away, trying her best to keep her cool.

“Well that was something.” She thought to herself, a wide grin planted on her face.

Looking around, she couldn’t find either of her friends, nor could she find Isaac. Slightly disappointed, Y/N walked over to the table and poured some vodka in an unused cup before knocking her head back, letting the burning liquid run down her throat.

She eyed the dancefloor and thought back on her previous conversation with Jeremy. She was beyond nervous. She’d never actually kissed a boy before. The opportunity just hadn’t ever presented itself. But now that she was here, feeling tipsy as ever, a few feet away from the cutest boy at the party, she couldn’t help but think, why not?

Wiping her sweaty palms on her skirt and downing her fourth - albeit, strong - drink of the night, she nodded to herself and walked over to the dancefloor.

As Five Hours blasted through the speakers, Y/N pushed her way through the sweaty crowd once again, making her way to the center of the dancefloor. Ignoring the world surrounding her, she closed her eyes and gave in to the music, feeling every beat of the song pulsate throughout her entire body.

Colours, flashing lights, the feeling of people’s skin against hers, her head spinning and swaying in every direction, it made her feel alive. As the last drop of the song reached its peak, Y/N jumped with the crowd, knocking her body against complete strangers, feeling the warm and sticky air fill her lungs with every breath.

The song Too Much by Curbi started to play and Y/N felt someone’s body against hers. Closing her eyes, she turned around and felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist. She sighed lightly, enjoying the feeling of her skin against the boy’s. His fingers treaded down her back, firmly settling just above her ass, holding her steady in a sea of bustling bodies.

She danced against him, turning around again, her back facing his front. Moving against his body, she felt his arms tighten around her, pulling her in. His hot breath fanned over her neck and she moaned slightly, squeezing his hand reassuringly.

Suddenly, time seemed to stand still when his lips lightly touched her warm skin. Y/N inhaled sharply, her eyes still shut. The only thing she could hear now was the sound of her heartbeat furiously thundering against her ribcage. Slowly caressing the boy’s arm, she allowed further access to her neckline, moaning loudly as she felt his feverish lips plant warm kisses on her neck, inching higher and higher. Y/N’s hands reached for his and she tugged them closer to her body, her hips still moving against him. His lips danced furiously across her neck, leaving dangerously beautiful marks on her skin.

The music seemed only to heighten her senses. Her legs almost gave out when she heard the boy groan lightly against her ear, her response, a small whine at the loss of contact with his lips. She turned around and tried to open her eyes, the bright lights bursting through the gap in her eyelids. Squinting at his face, trying as hard as possible not to lose herself to the music again, Y/N’s eyes caught a glimpse of the boy’s face.

Bright pink dashes stained his cupid’s bow and the right corner of his bottom lip, the paint from her neck helpless in the face of a passion like this one. Y/N’s eyes scanned the rest of his face and widened slightly when they met amber irises, warm and inviting and so familiar. Her fingers threaded through his damp dark brown hair, her brain trying to comprehend what was about to happen.

His chocolatey eyes looked deep into hers and he licked his lips slowly, the world around them fading. Y/N felt her vision blur as she inched closer to him, her nose picking up the scent of old leather and pine trees and rain. His lips lingered over hers and she felt a chill as her name echoed through the air.

“Y/N…”.

Their lips connected in a frenzied blur, sending sparks of pleasure throughout Y/N’s entire body and the chaos surrounding the pair completely swallowed them. His teeth slightly bit her bottom lip and she deepened the kiss, ardently giving in to his deliciously demanding mouth. Unable to control her body, she steadied herself against him, tugging at his shirt with one hand, the other cupping his face as he sucked on her delectable lips.

Their bodies so unbelievably close disappeared in the crowd of dancers, the whole world somehow a thousand miles away.

Time, a forgotten concept.

A/N: I seriously hope u enjoyed this!! if u did please reblog :)) (would be super helpful especially with tumblr acting up w the tags and all that) <3 part 2 coming soon!!

if you would like to be added to this series’ taglist, please send me an ask :)

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[overthere-in-neverland]

Hey i was wondering if you could do one where the readers band is on tour with all time low and at night she sings herself to sleep and jack listens to her and starts developing a crush on her? You can change it up a bit so it doesn’t suck but thanks :)

AN Hey guys! Sorry it’s been three years since I’ve posted lmao. I think I’m slowly coming back to these. For one thing I’m at my job, and I work graveyard so I’m bored as hell. For another, I really miss creative writing. I’ll update you on my life if you want next time I visit this, but other than that, hello! I won’t be updating the halloween imagines for the time being, especially since I’m trying to come back to this. I know I had one  (1) request to update the side blog fanfics I had going on, but as for now, I’m going to try to do it one at a time. @ my motivation? Where r u (and im so sorry i cannot sleep i cannot dream tonighttttt) Anyways! Also I just realized that it was Creeper who were atl’s opening band on the european mainland tour for lyr and now im emo all over again. The text conversation is in the story already, I just felt the need to make it for you lol

Your POV

I knew we were going on tour with All Time Low. Our manager knew we were going on tour with All Time Low. My bandmates knew we were going on tour with All Time Low. We all were well aware, and now the fans were too. But holy shit, is it surreal. Starting from nothing, playing a max of ten people, then going to 1,000 cap rooms, oh my god is it fucking incredible. Not to mention All Time Low have been my heroes for as long as I can remember.

I’m in a pop punk band, and I play the bass. I’m not quite a singer, but I can do back up. I have three other bandmates. One sings, her name is Maria, one plays guitar, that’s Drew. And we have Allison on drums. Altogether we’re pretty badass.

I had heard in the industry that Jack was a bit of a flirt. Having Drew in our band, we didn’t think much of it. Granted, Maria was engaged, and Allison’s gay, so it’s not like either of them were available. But I knew of Jack’s wiles, so I knew to stay on my toes. We were touring in Europe around the mainland for Last young Renegade, All Time Low’s new album, and it was my band’s first time being in Europe, so we were stoked. We were up at like 8 am, exploring around the city. Though trying to fall asleep is critical, especially jet-lagged. I don’t know about most things, but what I do know is anytime I go anywhere, even if it’s in the same time zone, I’m always jet-lagged. Maybe I’m just always tired?

So we arrived in Copenhagen, Denmark, the first stop on our European tour, and we meet the guys at their bus, and I’m a little star struck. Alex Gaskarth and his iconic hair. I’m not saying I’m in the fandom, but Alex’s brown hair is nothing short of iconic. Especially when it’s longer. Huge throwback to Timebomb era, and hooo boy. That was an era to be alive. Alex was wiping down the table in his bus, muttering about these “good for nothing men, who can’t even pick up after themselves.” Jack is behind him opening the fridge, then opening the cupboards, then opening the fridge, then opening the pantry, I smiled a bit at that. Zack and Rian weren’t anywhere to be found, at least from what I could see, staring down the bus’s hallway. We were to be dragging behind them in our small little van pulling a trailer. Drew coughed, and Alex looked up. “Guys!” he smiled, throwing away his wipe. “You’re here!”

Jack looked over from his rampant searching of food and smiled at us as well. I felt my face grow hot, but tried to brush it off like I was alright. I kicked my other food and looked down at the ground to try and forget I existed for a bit. I noticed Maria smiling at me, probably knowing exactly what was going on. She knew that Jack has always been a celebrity crush of mine since 2008. “What’s up,” he said to us, nodding in our direction.

“We’re in GutterPunk,” Drew responded, usually taking initiative. “Nice to meet you guys. We’ll be on tour with you throughout the mainland.”

“Sweet!” Alex smiled, and came over to us, probably intending to shake our hands. “What’ll you be riding around?”

“We kind of don’t really know yet? We have to go pick up the rental van and trailer soon. We just wanted to meet you guys.”

“Well I’m Alex,” he said gesturing to himself. “And that fiend over there is Jack.” Jack paused from his cupboard raid and waved, then went back to it. “Hope to enjoy your guys’ music and energy out there.”

“Stoked, dude.” Drew shook his hand, and turned to walk away, out of the bus. We were all standing in his way. So he had nowhere to go.

“I’ve been a fan since middle school!” Allison told him, also shaking his hand. “Y/N and I have always dreamed of touring with you guys. It’s been a dream, really. You’re a huge inspiration! At least half of it. Tre Cool has always been my biggest, but don’t sweat it. He’s a fucking god on drums.”

“Here here!” came a voice in the back.

“That’s Rian,” Alex chuckled. “He always makes himself known at any mention of Green Day.”

I thought I had seen Jack peak over at us when Allison mentioned my name, but then again, it was all happening so fast, I didn’t have any idea as to what was going on. I tucked my hair behind my ears and introduced myself to Alex. We talked a bit before we had to go to the rental agency and get our modes of transportation. It was to be about a month in the van with these guys, tightly packed. Thank god we weren’t a ska band.

After a couple days on tour in Europe, I was getting my bearings. I started to get a feel of how it would be like throughout the month. It was a show every night for a couple days, then we’d have one or two days off. Our van broke down the fifth day, and we were ready to call it quits, me being on the verge of tears, and Allison kicking the wheel of our shitty van rental. Alex graciously offered to let us stay in their bus, but we all refused, trying desperately to figure out another way to travel. He insisted.

“Are you sure this is okay?” Maria asked him as we gathered our stuff in their bus

“Oh, it’s fine!” Alex waved us off. “You’ll just stay with us. It’s not fair that we get this huge ass bus for four of us and you guys all have to share that tiny van. Make sure you get your money back though, because that’s bullshit. Jesus Christ, man. I told Fueled that we should’ve just shared a tour bus but they’re all about ‘separating bands’ or whatever. Why we ever signed to this record label I’ll never know.”

“It was your idea,” Zack chimed in. We all laughed. “Well it was! After going to Hopeless, twice, Alex wanted to branch out. Which we all agreed to anyway. It was funny though, because he complained about it every chance he got.”

“I’m well aware of that. But Fueled by Ramen seems to forget that we were once small too! Power to the little people!”

We all laughed again and gathered in their bus to prepare for the next night which was to be a day off. I was nervous, because this meant that Jack would be just down the hall, if you can even call it that, from me. It reached 1 am that night after the show, and we had all gathered in our beds to try and sleep so we could get out and do fun things around France.

I always used to sing myself to sleep to calm my nerves, and after about an hour of tossing and turning, it seemed like that was my only option if I wanted to sleep. I started off by humming softly, in case I would wake anyone up. After about ten minutes of that, and no sounds of stirs happened, I sang quietly. First was Lullabies, which is my go to song to sing when I need to sleep. Something about the line “Sing me to sleep, I’ll see you in my dreams” makes me feel at peace. After I finished with that, I heard the quiet patter of feet. I stopped for a bit, to wait to see if it came again, and when it didn’t I started again. Snuff by Slipknot is another one that calms me down, and I sang that, but right at the bridge I heard the patter again. I drew back the curtain, and saw Jack standing there. He looked scared to see me notice him, and promptly turned back towards his bed, and didn’t look back at me.

I frowned but pulled the covers up. I guess he doesn’t actually want to get to know me. I closed my eyes to try for the.. Was it the fourth time? Third time? I lost count. But I tried once more to sleep. Then I heard the pang next to me of a text message.

I promise I wasn’t trying to listen to you sing.

It was from Jack. We had all exchanged numbers at the beginning of the tour. My thumbs danced over my screen as I thought of what to say.

Don’t worry about it

I just heard it and then i couldn’t stop

It’s fine, jack. Really

Your voice is really pretty tho Can we talk tomorrow? I have something I need to tell you

What could he possibly need to tell me? I was freaking out. And now I can’t sleep even more. Fuck. This was going to be a long night.

I mean I’m awake right now

I can’t really say it right now

Well, what the fuck does that mean? I sigh and then turn around and face the wall. The bus was moving, but I felt like my stomach was moving ten thousand times faster. Him talking to me like this is the first real conversation he’s had with me. Most of the time he avoids me. Whatever it is, I guess I can wait. I prepared for a long sleepless night after that.

When I woke up, everyone was bustling about, getting ready for the day off. “Jack! Y/N!” Rian called down to us. I guess neither of us had gotten up. “We’re going out to breakfast!”

I moaned in recognition, and heard nothing from Jack, so I assumed he had gone with them. I threw my covers off and went straight to the bathroom. When I got out, I saw a tall lanky man with bed head staring at me.

“Uh. Hello.” I said stupidly.

“Hey, uh. About last night.”

“It’s fine if you don’t want to say anything. I get it. I’m a backup singer for a reason.”

“No that’s not it! Um.” He stopped talking to look down at his feet. “Look. I know this is weird. Especially since I hardly know you. But, I’ve actually been following your band for a while. And dude, you’re like insanely hot. And then I find out you’re a good person too? Last night, hearing your singing it made me realize.. Fuck, this is so stupid. It made me realize I’m in love with you.” With the last uttering of  those words, he looked up at me. “Sorry.”

“Are you fucking serious?” I raised my eyebrows, completely awestruck. Jack Barakat, the celebrity crush of my teen years was telling me he was in love with me? When it looked like he in fact, was not kidding, I immediately blushed and looked away. “Dude. I’ve been in love with you since I was like 14.”

A smile lit up his face as he started talking really fast, rambling. “Oh my god! Really? Holy shit okay, so like we can go get breakfast with the others, or we can go get breakfast by ourselves, we could walk down the Seine, we are in France after all. Holy fu-”

I started laughing, but grabbed his hand with mine, since he was waving it all around. “Slow down there, I can barely keep up. Let’s go get breakfast first, and talk this out. You’ve basically been avoiding me since I got here.”

“Well yeah, I didn’t really know how to strike up a conversation.”

I chuckled. “This is weird, huh?”

“So weird.” He nodded in agreement. I realized I was still holding his hand, but I didn’t let go. Instead we walked off the bus, headed towards the cafe for breakfast. My heart was in my throat but this felt right. After the initial break of the ice, he wouldn’t shut up, but I loved hearing his voice. He could talk for hours on end if he really wanted to.

[sailorshadzter]

yup so this is going to be me talking about all the jonsa moments.

because i can. 

so yeah 

enjoy! <3 under the cut because LONG. 

so i’m going to start with their reunion. i’m going to try to keep this in chronological order but if i mix things up, sorry! im really excited to talk about a few of all of these moments!! anyways... yes. the reunion scene. 

i love this first shot so much. 

we get both of their faces as they see each other for the first time. jon is so surprised he lets go of the railing and takes a step back. look at his expression, its like he’s seen a ghost. he can’t believe that sansa is actually standing there in his own courtyard. hundreds of thoughts must be running through his mind at that point but im sure they all go back to just her name, over and over again. 

sansa is still taking in her surroundings but as her eyes fall on jon, you can see her face change (below gif) and you can see how relieved she is. im sure she didn’t dare believe to find him here, even though he was (at least, to her knowledge still) the lord commander. why wouldn’t he have been there? 

what i love about this first shot of sansa is you can see her catch her breath. her shoulders come up as she inhales and you can hear her exhale a moment later. her eyes are on him as he sees her standing there. she’s so relieved to see him there. at this point, she isnt sure she has anyone else left to her. arya is probably dead and yeah, theon said bran and rickon were alive, but who knows now?  she’s been used and abused for SO FUCKING LONG at this point and all she wants is someone who’s going to take care of her and remind her that there’s still some good left in the world. at this point, i dont even think she’s thought about what comes next. there’s no thought of fighting ramsay or taking back winterfell. all she’s thinking about is the fact that he’s standing right there in front of her now. he’s the same jon she remembered from childhood.

and i wonder too how nervous is she, or not at all? she makes him accept her apology later on and i wonder if she’s afraid he doesnt even want to see her. or maybe such a thought doesnt cross her mind because this is jon and she already knows thats the last thing he’s going to be thinking about. 

this is jon after he’s seen her for the first time. she’s slipped off her horse and it cuts to the first gif of her staring back at him. i cant even begin to imagine what jon must be thinking right in this moment. he’s seeing her for the first time in how long? how many years has it been since they last saw each other? and wow, this isnt the sister he knew from childhood.

she’s pale and shivering, she looks so frightened. her clothes are messy and the sansa he knew never had a hair out of place, let alone dirty, messed up clothes. but he cant get past the fear in her eyes or the dirt (bruises?) on her face. she’s not the same girl he once knew. and at once he’s guilt ridden. what’s happened to her? im sure he’s asking himself this over and over again as he comes closer, im sure he’s afraid to allow himself to wonder. he might even be afraid to think its really her. how could it be? and why is she even here? 

and my god, he’s only just come back to life. he’s just been betrayed by those he called brother, comrade. he’s ready to run away from all of this. he says he’s going to go south and get warm because what was left for him here?  everyone he’s ever loved is dead or tried to kill him. 

or so he thought. 

and watching him walk towards her is just incredible.

he’s got such a look of disbelief on his face. i cant even handle it.  and you can hear sansa’s breathing as he stands in front of her, little inhales of breath as she tries not to cry. it’s literally too much for me. 

what i love about that is how sansa just opens her arms and runs for him. and jon takes maybe, two or three steps forward to meet her. he takes hold of her so fast it takes my breath away every single time i see it.  sansa lets out this little breath, almost like a muffled sob, its so quiet but its heartbreaking. she’s throwing herself at him then, already knowing he’s opening his arms to her. 

AND LOOK AT BRIENNE IN THE BACKGROUND. she literally looks away. you can see it even clearer in the gif below, but she looks down like she knows this is a private moment and she shouldnt be watching. 

what i love about this is look at sansa’s face. she’s almost distraught, but you can see the relief washing over her as jon takes her into his arms. his embrace literally sweeps her off her feet. her breathing catches there at the end and you can see her tighten her grip on him, as if he’s anchoring her to the world. his arms are around her waist, he’s LITERALLY picked her up off the ground and is holding her close. he can feel how cold she is and can feel her shaking. i know its not portrayed this way in the show, but i always imagine her having thinned out quite a bit with ramsay and i imagine him thinking why is she so small? why can i lift her this way? why is she so cold? 

at this point, jon knows nothing. he doesnt know what happened to her with ramsay. he doesnt know about king’s landing. he cant even begin to IMAGINE what she’s gone through. all he knows is he’s so happy she’s there. he’s so happy to be holding her in his arms. 

were they ever close as children?

no.

but this scene alone solidifies their close knit relationship as adults. 

i mean just look at him. 

he’s closed his eyes as she sinks into him. he exhales softly at the end too. jon has gone through a lot too and you know he misses his family dearly, even sansa. they had a rocky past but thats just it... it’s the past. he must be thinking about her right here and vowing to himself he’s going to protect her from whatever will come. he’s not been there to protect her from whatever she’s already been through, but he’s here now and he already knows he’s never gonna let anyone hurt her again. 

in the opening scene, he had nothing left to live for. his brother’s killed him, his family is gone, what else is there? but then... she shows up just hours after his rebirth and in the span of less than a minute, he’s got something new to live for. something new to protect. 

yeah, so thats how everyone’s brother looks at them, right?

also, she’s wearing his furs. i didnt even know how much i needed that until i saw this scene for like the tenth time. 

i love how as soon as she realized he was looking at her she turned and he gave her the smallest smile ever. like literally, it was barely a twitch of his lips. but it was for her. and it got her smiling as well, got her talking. good soup, she says before asking him about something from their childhood. its very light hearted conversation at this point and it makes you wonder all that they’ve talked about so far. 

clearly some time has passed because sansa is clean and changed (and jon i know, she looks beautiful, id be staring too). but what have they talked about so far? has she told him about kings landing... about ramsay? has she opened up about their father’s execution and cried when she told him she still blames herself? does she talk about what ramsay did to her? to theon? we know jon has told her what happened to him already because he mentions it in a moment, but how much as she told him yet? a lot of what happened with ramsay is “private” or things that’s not at all easy to talk about, but i feel like with jon she would find herself talking and talking until all of a sudden she realizes she hasn’t stopped for hours. finally, someone is listening to her. 

do you forgive me?

there’s nothing to forgive.

forgive me! 

alright, i forgive you.

this little exchange is broken up with smiles and little laughs, but i can tell you that sansa needed it. and honestly, he probably did too. sansa spent all her time in captivity (because yes, thats what it was, both times) thinking about what she’d lost in her family. she’d been awful to jon back then and now he was all she had left. im sure there were many times where she told herself these bad things were happening to her because of how terrible she was to jon. and to arya too. 

once they were all gone from her and she was alone in king’s landing, im sure she cried thinking of how she and arya spent their last bits of time together. arguing and fighting over what, a stupid boy prince that ended up abusing the hell out of her? yeah, not her best moments. but, she was a kid, none of us know shit as kids. thats one of the reasons i hate when people cite season 1-2 stuff as reasons they dislike sansa. she was a child, she was scared, and she was only doing what she was told or taught to do. and then she learned that the only way she was going to survive was by giving in. how can you blame her for that?

anyways, thats a whole other post for another day haha 

i love this because it shows how easy it is for jon to laugh with sansa. his smile is so pure, so easy going here. its REAL. when was the last time either of them smiled, let alone laughed? but here, together, even just for a moment they can laugh at each other over how much of an asshole sansa was to him or how the night’s watch still make shitty ale. 

and then we get one of my favorite sets of dialogue ever. 

where will you go? sansa looks scared when she asks this, as if all along she’s been preparing herself for jon to leave her. that maybe he’ll take her somewhere and then he’s gonna go off on his own. part of her doesnt blame him, she wants to run away too. 

where will we go? jon says looking almost surprised by her question. if i dont watch over you, father’s ghost will come back and murder me. sansa almost smiles then, as if she’s realizing it then, jon wasnt ever going to abandon her. she never had to worry that he would leave her side. 

where will we go, she says back, still with that half sort of smile. by now, the wheels are turning in her mind. jon says they cant stay there and thats when sansa says it. there’s only one place we can go, home. it’s jon’s turn to look at her with disbelief, like he’s surprised to hear her say such a thing. this is where we begin to see how their relationship is going to work. jon is going to be the doubter, the one who says “well....” but sansa is the fighter, the pusher. she’s the one who says they’ll take back winterfell. when jon says he cant make the wildlings fight, sansa doesnt care. she tells him if he wont help her, she’ll do it on her own. i want you to help me, but if you won’t... ill do it myself. 

and jon knows she’s telling the truth. she’s always been an awful liar. jon knows she’s telling the absolute truth when she says that. he knows she’ll find a way, one way or the other, to take back winterfell. but he cant (and wont) let her do that alone. of course he’s going to help her. she does that to him. he just said he was tired of fighting, that he’d lost... but as he’s staring into her eyes, he knows there’s no turning back. there’s no way he’d ever let her walk away from him to fight a battle or negotiate with anyone. he’s gonna stand by her side forever. 

id also like to mention how i didnt even think about them as a ship the first time i watched this scene. i wont lie, i probably rewatched it twice right then and i made a lot of hmmmMMMMmmsss 

like this was literally me the whole time

🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔

anyways LETS MOVE ON. 

the next scene i want to talk about is when ramsay sends jon the letter. 

there’s a lot to unpack here, honestly.

(id also like to point out that brienne makes the best faces ever, her face as the men are all eating kills me every single time i see this scene.)

so jon gets a letter & of course we all know who its from. 

To the traitor and bastard Jon Snow,

You allowed thousands of wildlings past the Wall. You have betrayed your own kind and you have betrayed the North. Winterfell is mine, bastard, come and see.

Your brother Rickon is in my dungeon. His direwolf's skin is on my floor, come and see.

after the bit about rickon, jon stops reading and he looks at sansa. she’s horrified and you can see it on his face that he’s worried too. he couldnt even finish the word dungeon. 

i feel for sansa in this moment though because she alone knows what ramsay is capable of. she knows what he did to theon and what he did to her. she knows firsthand what kind of violence he’s capable of and to think her baby brother is in his hands? no. it’s unthinkable. at this moment, im sure she’s thinking to herself its over, rickon is dead. but she cant and wont give up that easily.

jon continues to read the letter out loud & it pans to sansa’s face. it’s like regret washing over her. she’s the cause of this mess, of all this violence that will happen if jon doesnt give in. but this is what she asked for, isnt it? to fight for their home and their family? sansa isnt a soldier, she doesnt know what war is like. sure, she’s suffered, but not on a battlefield. she doesnt know or understand what happens in war out there on the front lines. this is her first glimpse. and again, she KNOWS ramsay, so she knows he isnt lying about what he’ll do to the wildlings. jon’s reading is strong but he fumbles and stops entirely when ramsay mentions sansa. she tells him to keep going but when he doesnt, she snatches the letter and reads it out loud herself

she’s close to tears, you can hear it in her voice. she’s probably thinking about everything ramsay did to her previously and how it would be so much worse if he ever got his hands on her again. 

jon’s first words are lord of winterfell and warden of the north. sansa tells him that his father is dead & that ramsay was the one to kill him. it cuts back to her and thats when you can see her eyes are wet, she’s trying to hold it together here. she says that he has rickon and jon says they dont know that. but she knows he does. yes we do. thats when jon knows it too. he turns to tormund & they talk about the army numbers. jon looks back at sansa and you can see he’s torn. he wants to do this for her, he wants to do it for himself and for rickon. but he is a soldier and he knows there’s not enough men to fight ramsay’s army. not nearly enough.

he’s on the edge then, he knows it’ll never be enough. and what happens when he loses? what happens to sansa? he cant risk leaving her alone, without any form of protection. he doesnt want to disappoint her but he knows it can’t be done. all her pretty words about being the son of ned stark and northern loyalty cant change his mind. 

except... well sansa. 

a monster has taken our home and our brother. we have to go back to winterfell and save them both.

she’s right and he knows it. jon snow is too good a man to walk away from his family when they need him most. and even know he knows the odds are against them... even if the northern houses pledge to him and their cause, the odds are against them. but he looks into her eyes and he cant look away. she’s silently pleading with him to help her take back whats rightfully theirs. she’s asking him to help her save their little brother, maybe the only other family they have left. 

and man he was so close. he had one foot out the door and now she’s trapped him with those beautiful blue eyes. he cant look away and its like, looking into her eyes makes him see the truth. they can win and they will. he’s not going to let anyone take her away from him. and he’s not going to let her abuser sit in their family home. he’s not going to let him kill rickon. he’s not going to let him have winterfell. 

he’s going to take it back. 

so he nods. thats all it takes, just a nod.

OKAY MOVING ON TO WHAT HAS TO BE ONE OF THE BEST JONSA MOMENTS only because its so light hearted and so fucking obvious. like jon here kills me

(gif credit @stark)

what i love is jon is the one to ask about the new dress. like seriously, its the FIRST thing he says. there’s no “hello” no “good morning” no “are you ready to leave?” nope. its just OH HEY NEW DRESS I SEE. 

i mean, its what every brother asks a sister, right? its the first thing they notice, those highly attentative brothers! mine always noticed when i got new clothes. its normal, right? 

anyways she tells him she’s made it herself and asks if he likes it.. mind you, jon hasnt taken his eyes off of her ONCE at this point. and he never does.  id also like to point out that sansa literally POSES for him, like “no really tell me if you like it. are you looking? LOOK AT MY NEW DRESS JON.” and he stammers over his answer (which is adorable) his eyes arent on her face anymore but right at her chest (yes we see you jon) and her “wolf bits” which im sure he’s internally screaming at himself for saying.

she gives him the cloak then and its cute because you can tell she worked really hard to make it for him. its a copy of the one “their father” used to wear and i love that. she knows jon struggles with his identity and this is her way of reminding him who he is. and you can tell he’s touched by it. for the first time in this scene his mind changes from “wow my ~sister~ is hot” to “wow my wonderful sister that happens to be quite attractive just made me this thing like our father used to wear- right, our father. right.” 

but on a serious note about this moment

really, i love it because it IS sansa reminding jon who he is and where he comes from. sansa is always the one reminding him he’s a stark despite what he thinks or what people say. its always her reaffirming it for him. this was the first time we get a glimpse of it and its really touching. 

and when sansa walks away from him, jon smiles to himself and honestly its cute as fuck.

like look at this man. this is the face of a man who knows he’s falling in love. we all know this feeling he has right here- that giddy moment where the person you love has given you something or done something cute or just you know... exists. this is a man who is without a doubt in love. and he knows it. he knows what’s happening here, he knows what these feelings are. 

now lets move on to some bad ass stuff. 

you dont have to be here. yes i do. 

this is a defining moment for me- and not just because of the jonsa stuff. for me, this is proof of sansa’s strength. everything that happened to her with ramsay is still fresh- im sure she still has injuries that havent fully healed, but here she is ready to face him. she’s going to look her abuser in the eye and make sure he knows he isnt going to win this fight. 

and she knows what to expect. she knows he’ll say some nasty things, he’ll try to screw with her (and jon’s head) but she isnt going to let him get under her skin. he cant hurt her anymore, not only because jon wont let him but because SHE wont let him. she’s taken control back in her life and she’s going to rise above what he’s done to her. 

but i also love the way jon glances over to her- he’s worried about her being there. he doesnt want this to send her backwards in her healing process or just totally break down. i think this is the moment jon also realizes just how strong sansa has become. i dont think she’s ever told him EVERYTHING ramsay ever did to her, but im sure he can imagine it and he knows it must be awful. im sure he’s seen her bruises in the beginning, has caught sight of her cuts and burns and whatever else he did to her before she escaped. jon wants only to protect her but seeing her now, with her determined face he knows she needs this. she needs to face him one last time. and how proud he must be of her!!! 

this shot is amazing here, they look like such an amazing power couple. i fucking love it. it screams King and Queen in the North, doesnt it? 

ah yes okay

the tent scene

the sexual tension in this scene is fucking FIRE and any other couple would have 100% had sex after it. no doubt. they’re both panting, literally out of breath just from arguing (and ~staring~ at each other). they both got so heated in this moment, as they seem to do when they disagree. 

and yeah, this stuff is great, but its what comes after that i cant handle. 

sansa says before leaving that she wont go back to ramsay alive. do you understand me? she’s literally telling him that if he loses, that if ramsay wins, she will kill herself. jon’s kind of struck by her words and he again tells her that he wont ever let ramsay touch her again. and then sansa says some real sad shit that just.. hurts. you cant protect me. no one can protect anyone.

those are the words of a girl who’s been let down all her life. she knows deep down that rickon is gone at this point. she’s forced herself to believe it now so it hurts less when it comes true. those words are spoken from her heart. over and over again, sansa tells jon that he cant protect her and its a defense mechanism for herself. she cant be let down again, she wont be let down again. so she constantly thinks the worse so when it happens to her, she’s not surprised, she’s not hurt. this is a girl who has been used, abused, and thrown away like trash over and over again. this is a girl who truly believes there’s no safety in the world. even from jon. at this point, she hasn’t come to realize what jon will do for her (even though hello, honey he’s going to war for you) and she doesnt realize the depths of his feelings. 

and neither do we as the audience. not yet, at least. the next scene jon goes to see melisandre and he literally tells her that if he falls on the battlefield, he doesnt want her to bring him back. its because of sansa. he knows that a) he’s failed her and b) she wont remain alive long. he cant stand the thought of living in a world without her, nor can he stand the guilt of living if she were to take her own life. 

i remember on my first watch through of season 6, i wasn’t shipping them quite yet. i had a lot of thoughts and feelings about their relationship, but man this was the moment where i went “yup, he’s in love.” there’s nothing more dramatic than the “i cant live without you” trope and i live for it. jon cant live without sansa and he cant live with himself if the battle is lost. he’d never forgive himself for losing sansa to ramsay or to herself. he’d rather be dead than fight the fucking night king or anything else. nothing else matters if she’s not there at his side. 

this next moment isnt so much of a jonsa moment but i enjoyed it all the same. jon was so worried, he knew they couldnt & wouldnt last much longer. but then came sansa and the knights of the vale. he’s so SHOCKED and i think this is when he realized what she meant when she kept insisting he listen to her. that she wouldnt go back to ramsay alive.

it wasn’t because she didn’t trust jon but it was self preservation. she wasn’t going back to ramsay without a fight and she isnt stupid. she knows they dont have the men for this fight- jon told her that himself- and jon wouldnt listen to her. so fuck it, she did it herself. 

we stan a badass queen. 

next up on the list is the infamous scene of jon beating the living shit out of ramsay bolton. 

all of jon’s rage comes out full force here.

he takes on an onslaught of arrows, blocking all of them with a spare shield he picked up. he gets closer and closer to ramsay with fire in his eyes. every ounce of hatred that he has for this monster comes out the moment he knocks him onto the ground. 

jon punches him and punches him and punches him some more.

this scene is so incredibly satisfying because as an audience, we fucking hate ramsay (or love to hate him? he’s an incredibly awful character, isnt he?). he deserves everything he’s going to get from jon. watching him get beat to a bloody pulp was one of the best scenes of the whole show, imo. 

i thought jon really was going to kill ramsay, too. his punches just never stopped. he had so much anger inside of him- for all he’d done to sansa, for taking winterfell, for killing rickon. i think jon WOULD have killed him too, had sansa not shown up.

she’s the only thing that could have stopped jon from beating ramsay to death. he almost didn’t look up either, but he did and then he stopped- he actually stopped midswing all because he couldn’t look away from her. and in that moment he knew it was not his kill to make. it was sansa’s. this was HER abuser, HER tormenter, she deserved to take his life if that’s what she wanted. if she told him to go ahead, he would have. but he knew she needed to face him on her own. and that i love. despite how caught up he was in the moment, he stopped full force as soon as he saw her. 

now, moving on to the forehead kiss. 

there’s a lot to unpack with this moment for me so i want to start with their conversation leading up to this moment. sansa joins him on the battlements and he tells her he’s had the lord’s chambers prepared for her, which is really touching. she tries to tell him they should be his but jon says no, they were only standing there because of her so they should be hers. that she was the lady of winterfell. 

and then he says it im not a stark. you are to me. 

that does a lot for me, honestly. all jon has ever wanted was to be a stark, to be anything but the bastard of winterfell. and all his life he’s been told how much he looks like ned & the stark’s, but he’s never told he is one. sansa is the one to tell him he is a stark, even if it’s just to her. and thats honestly all he needs right then. its the reaffirmation that she thinks he’s her family and part of them. 

jon then comes closer to her and there’s a lot of ~longing stares~ happening, especially on his part. he mentions that they have a lot of enemies and they have to trust each other. sansa looks SO sorry in this scene, like she knows she should have told him the truth about LF and the KotV. but jon understands, he doesnt blame her. 

first of all im a HUGE fan of this in general (anyone who reads my fanfics knows this, haha) jon reaches out and puts his hand against her face, with his fingers wrapped around to the back of her head. they’re staring back at one another, though jon’s gaze definitely is on her lips here

he draws her in to kiss her forehead and its really sweet, a really honestly touching moment. but wow. his kiss lasts a LONG time. jon closes his eyes as he presses his lips to her skin and the moment feels very intimate. 

when jon does pull back from her, there’s still some more stares. thats something i love about all of jon & sansa’s scenes together... they convey so much emotion with such little words. you can see how jon feels just by the way he looks at sansa. i know its kind of a running joke about how different it is when he looks at daenerys than her, but thats because its TRUE. all of these scenes are supercharged with emotions and it all starts with the way jon looks. his features get soft, especially his mouth and his eyes, when he’s looking at sansa. gone are his harsh lines, his brooding stare, replaced with a soft, tender gaze that i just fucking live for. 

i also want to talk about the meaning of forehead kisses. 

“A kiss on the forehead is a gentle expression of admiration. Usually it is a kiss of friendship or a starter kiss for something for romantic later.” 

“ Depending on how it is planted, it can also be used as a means of showing deep affection to a loved one. Most people use use it as a starter kiss when they meet someone new, to express that they like them.”

“ Brushing your lips gently against someone's forehead is a sign of trust and comfort. The forehead kiss is a nice way to show affection, whether in you're in a new relationship or celebrating your tenth anniversary.” 

while they can reflect friendship or a close bond or even protectiveness, typically speaking a forehead kiss is quite intimate. there’s a reason its one of the most common engagement photo poses. 

lets really just take a moment to enjoy our King and Queen. note that sansa is  to his left, much how a queen would sit to the king (or vice versa). 

& that wraps up season 6 moments. i think? i hope. 

now lets talk about season 7. 

the first moment is when sansa & jon are walking together, they arent quite arguing but rather having a bit of a heated discussion. jon is a little miffed about her calling him out in front of the lords (lol) and sansa reminds him that joffrey never let anyone question his authority either.

this really offends jon & thats a testament to his character. you think im like joffrey? he asks her, quite shocked. sansa’s features soften a moment after she looks away, knowing she said something she didn’t mean. you’re as far from joffrey as anyone ive ever met. of course he is. no one is like joffrey. 

they continue walking & talking and then the arm grab happens. 

i honestly love this gif, lol

anyways. 

what i absolutely LOVE about this moment is jon looks down at her hand, clearly showing she doesnt let go of him. she grabs his arm to make him turn around and face her, to listen to her. jon has a bad habit of not listening to her and she’s fucking tired of it. she lost a lot of people she loved because of stupid mistakes they made, she cant lose jon too. she’s just trying to get him to understand that. 

there they go again with those longing stares, eh?

we’re almost there guys, seriously if you’re still reading... thanks!

the next scene is when jon says he’s going to go to dragonstone.

i want to point out sansa’s face as she listens to jon speak

she’s genuinely worrying about him in these 2 panels. 

her face changes as she listens to him talk- she’s thinking about what happened to their grandfather when he went south, she even says it to him. she’s thinking about how he cant go, he cant leave her there alone. its not about jon leaving the north, its about jon leaving her. 

she says to him youre abandoning your people, you’re abandoning the north- and you can hear those unspoken words, the ones she cant say in front of everyone there. you’re abandoning me. 

in jon she finds safety. as much as she’ll try to say no one can protect her, she knows jon does. being with jon has helped her to heal. he’s protected her from ramsay and reclaimed winterfell. he’s her armor, her shield. and he’s all she has left. how can he just leave her? how can he walk away into a dangerous situation and potentially never come back? 

of course she plays it off as saying he’s abandoning the north, but read between the lines and you know what really has her upset. 

then, jon gives her winterfell to rule over while he’s away.

i think he knows the truth of her heart (and i 1000% believe there’s an offscreen conversation about it) & knows she’s more upset about him leaving her than she is him leaving the north. he knows that he’s all she has left and same for him, she’s all he’s got. but thats why he’s doing this. he’s doing this to protect her and the home they’ve only just got back. 

if he doesnt defeat the night king, there wont be any winterfell or life. he would do anything in his power to protect what he has now, even sailing into a potential life threatening trap. if its for sansa, it’s worth it.

next is one of my favorite jon moments. 

jon and littlefinger are down in the crypts 

they talk about ned and jon tells him he doesnt belong down there.

when jon walks away, littlefinger continues to talk, causing jon to pause. you can literally watch his face turn from annoyance to pure hatred. look at him here. he turns his head slightly, scowling, his eyes narrowing just slightly. just hearing him say sansa’s name sets him off, its what makes his lip curl with that scowl. but as soon as he says he loved her like he loved her mother, jon whirls around and lunges for him.

look at all that emotion in his face. 

there’s so much anger and disgust. talk to my sister and i’ll kill you myself. 

he cant stand the thought of lf making a move on her while he’s away. he cant stand the idea of this man looking at her wrong or saying one damn word to her. jon doesnt trust lf & he knows that sansa doesnt either... but that doesnt stop him from worrying. he’s not going to be around to protect her for a while so he has to make sure she’s safe somehow.

hence the ghost scene that got cut and im NEVER NOT GOING TO BE UPSET ABOUT THAT. 

anyways

next we get this little moment when jon’s leaving: 

he raises his hand a moment before this and it cuts to sansa watching him go, looking forlorn. jon looks sad too. you know they’re going to miss each other a lot while he’s away. 

but what’s so telling is how jon looks back. he turns to go, but looks back at her and offers her a quick smile. as if to tell her everything was going to be okay. remember who he doesnt look back at when he’s rushing off to what could possibly kill him? yeah, you do. 

last but not least... jon seeing theon again. 

what you did for her is the only reason im not killing you.

here’s another moment of jon resorting to physical threats because of sansa. much like little finger, the moment theon mentions sansa’s name, jon lunges at him. he yanks him close and you can see the anger on his face, you can see it in his eyes. he’s not lying either. theon caused a lot of problems for the stark family and his only redeeming quality is what he did for sansa. im sure sansa told jon about escaping winterfell and how it was thanks to theon. that’s enough to keep him alive in jon’s eyes. 

(gif found via google on gfycat) 

im including this shot because right here you can tell Davos knows whats up. he knows this isnt a typical reaction of a protective brother. he knows jon pretty well at this point and i think he’s sort of known all along how he felt about sansa. this is the moment he’s positive, like zero doubts. i also think thats why he somewhat pushes the thing with dany later (i see you staring at her good heart” or whatever) because he knows jon can’t be in love with his half sister. he just cant be. there’s a perfectly good woman right in front of him (lol) and davos thinks pushing him towards her will make jon forget sansa. fat chance, my friend. 

i love seeing jon react to men mentioning sansa. he gives tyrion quite the glare earlier on, when he mentions their marriage. its clear how jon feels about her at this point. he loves her. there’s no going back, there’s no changing it. jon loves sansa and there’s nothing he can do but keep going. from here on out, everything he does is going to be for her. 

okay guys

well i think this is it! 

thanks for reading and i hope you’ve enjoyed my ranting and raving about these two lovebirds. <3 

[franeridart]

I absolutely adore every single KiriBaku thing you draw. They’re so pure and I love them.

;O; !!!!! thank you holy heck!!!!!

Anon said:Fran i missed your hq fanart, it was so good seeing some more from you!

I’m happy you liked them!!!! I missed drawing them too, really !!!!

Anon said:Imagine this - BNHA kids like It kids. Also love your art!

But I haven’t watched It :O and thank you!!!

Anon said: Is it ok if fictionkin people reblog your art and tag it as kin or anything of the sort?

Sure! People are gonna do so anyway whatever I say after all, and this seems like a really silly thing to get bothered over since it’s not like it hurts me in any way haha

Anon said:Who dabs more, Denki or Mina?

If I gotta pick one I’d say Kaminari, but I sure as heck hope dabbing isn’t still a thing in whatever future bnha is set in, anon hahaha

Anon said:yo i love it when you color your sketches, so pretty!!

OH BOY thank you so so much!!!!! :O

Anon said:I love you and your art so much?? like??? you’re so perfect?? just keep doing what you’re doing because you’re doing fucking amazing

I’m the furthest thing from perfect you’re gonna find, anon haha but thank you so much for the compliment!!

Anon said:thank you for always making me smile.

And thank you cause this ask made me smile, anon!!

Anon said:your coloring skills are improving!!! gosh your art is visibly getting better lately (not that it’s even been “bad”, there’s no such thing!! i’ve always loved it). i don’t know if it’s a good idea to tell you this but i mean it as a genuine compliment!

Are they really??? °O° I wouldn’t have said so, honestly haha but I’m super happy to hear that, thank you!!

Anon said:Are any of your OCs romantically involved? Or are they all just good friends?

Yes and no, depending on at which point in their respective story we’re talking about haha Josh and Chris are in love with each other, and so are Max and Leo (well, their situation is a bit… uncommon, but if I were ever to write their story they’d be together in the end) - I once posted about Gabe and Hector, and by the end of their story they’re in a poly relationship with a girl named Erica I’ve never posted about. Luca has a love (?) interest of sort but he’s not been posted about yet hohoho maybe sometime in the near future. Still deciding about Isa and Ana’s relationship, but maybe. Who knows? That’s about it as far as the ones I’ve posted about go :D

Anon said:your ocs are adorable!! esp ana, I want to know EVERYTHING ABOUT HER (and, yeah, having new ocs is super exciting, like you said! just– being able to figure all that stuff out, actually mould a character of your own– it’s a lot of fun!!!)

Anon said: What are Ana and Isa like? From that drawing, I already think I would want to be friends with Isa! She looks like lots of fun!

She is!! She’s sort of a jock, a bit of a dummy and really loud, she’s easy to make laugh and got the type of laughter that makes you wanna laugh with her so when she’s around the mood is always a good one! She’s not exactly a social butterfly, but she’s got no problems with socializing, knows by instinct how to bend her behaviour to fit with all types of people and has the incredible ability to have every and all awkward situations fly right over her head, she just doesn’t notice them, and that makes it hard to be anything but relaxed when she’s around. She’s actually how she and Ana got in the group, since she’s gym buddies with Leo! She also really really likes ball sports :D

Ana’s an introvert all the way through, on the other hand - she’s really witty and sassy when she feels comfortable enough, and sarcasm is her preferred way of communicating, but if she doesn’t know you/ too many people she isn’t 100% comfortable with are around she comes off as timid and closed off, smiles politely and barely utters a word - people assume she’s the subdued and shy type at first so once she starts opening up it’s always sort of a shock haha she’s got a scientific mind and while she isn’t a “gifted kid” like Chris she likes to learn and study a lot, which is why she ended up having a real great relationship with Chris specifically out of everyone in the group (they like to nerd out together) (Josh isn’t particularly happy about it, the jelly idiot) 

Anon said: I love seeing you drawing and getting asks about your OCs. They have so much personality and it makes me super happy. I hope you’ll feel like sharing them with us more often!

Thank you so much!!!! I’m really really happy people seem to like them too!!!! :O

Anon said:you draw the children so long i love it :0

!!!!! :D thank you!!!

Anon said:Did you now that the voice actor of Tenya is also the one of Kageyama ? (I start Haikyuu because of you by the way, thanks for this and for all your great art !)

I did know!!! There’s a lot of hq va’s in bnha, that’s always made me happy haha

Anon said:Love the new Haikyuu art! Although it’s sad that someone made you lose motivation to draw BNHA :/ Daishou is one of my faves, too. He’s such a doof, love it.

OH BOY I love Daishou so much, I’m glad you like him too! Aside from how much fun he is to draw (and color! he’s a green haired boy and that matters lots to me haha) he’s got so much personality and he’s such an interesting character! I honest to god disliked him with a passion during the nekohebi game, actually haha but that’s how it is with most of my hq faves, after all hahaha glad you liked the doodles, by the way!!!

Anon said:DOGS? SHOUTS? LUCA IS MY KINDA GUY

THANK YOU FOR LIKING MY ANGRY SON !!!!!! :D

Anon said:I love Luca! Where did he get his scar?

A fight with some punks back when he was a teen that ended up escalating when knives became a thing that was being used :O he comes off as the dangerous sorta type which makes good people steer clear and bad ones come looking for trouble/ pick fights with him cause they assume he was picking a fight cause of his resting bitch face. Well, he’s an ass so let’s say that at least half the times he had been picking fights, and it’s not like he runs when someone tries to fight him anyway… that’s not the only scar he has, it’s just the most visible one haha

Anon said:I’m kinda freaking out about Luca and the others being italians! It makes me love your OCs even more ahah Btw, don’t know if you’ve already answered this or if it’s too personal but… are you Italian? (Or what nationality?)

Yah I am! :D and I’m super happy to hear you like my kids!!!!!

Anon said:Hello! I just wanted to let you know that you inspire me a lot! Your blog is honestly such a happy, fun place to be. You draw so much stuff, so much cute and sweet stuff regularly and I aspire to be like that! I’m extremely slow at drawing, and I lose motivation or get distracted from drawing easily, but I’m hoping for a day when I can make a blog just like yours; a place where I can regularly draw things that make me happy. I hope you have a wonderful day!

I’m!!!! so happy to hear that!!!!! And yeah I 100% understand the being slow and getting discouraged easily, I used to be (and sort of still am) like that too :O my need to be faster is what had me end up with the style I have now, actually haha I hope you’ll find a comfortable style that’ll let you be as fast as you wish soon too, anon!!!

Anon said:I don’t think you understand how much it means to me that you drew an asahi! He’s my fave and he looks precious and pretty in your style! Thank you for this gift :’)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m glad you liked him, then!!!!!!! *O* thank you!!!!!

Anon said:Thank you for drawing Noya! Im sorry it was sort of cause of a shitty anon, I also really enjoy your bnha drawings so im not trying to be all “waaaah go back to hq”, but im happy to see my lightning son and also find out hes in your favs? Yay!

YAH HE’S THE BEST ISN’T HE he’s been one of my top 5s since he first appeared, he’s such a good I’m glad you liked him!!!!!!!!

Anon said:FRAN YOUR NEW HQ ART IM IN LOVE!!!!!! YOU DRAW DAISHOU LIKE A LITERAL SNAKE HES SO SMUG ITS SO GOOD!! AND YOUR OCS!! I WOULD HONESTLY READ A BOOK ABOUT THEM. OR A WEB COMIC. BOTH ARE GOOD. SORRY ABOUT THE CAPS IM JUST EXCITED BC HQ!!!! AND AWESOME OCS!!!! (can you tell that i have a weakness for other people’s ocs, esp when done well) (which you certainly have)

THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENTS OH GODS !!!!!!!!!!!! Especially about my ocs, that makes me so happy oh boy ;O; !!! And and and I’m super happy you liked Dai! He’s honestly so much fun to draw, for me hahaha

Anon said:I’m sorry that people are being assholes, sending good vibes! I love all your art, I hope you have a good day

This to you and everyone else who’s sent the same type of ask, thank you SO much! You guys are all so incredibly nice and supportive, bless all of you ;O;

Anon said:Dave!!! :D

Dave indeed!!!!!! :D :D

Anon said:your art is Good

Thank You !!!!!!!!

Anon said:omg i love your ocs so much

SOB thank you?????

Anon said:I love how the collar on Kiri’s coat in the ‘Them boys’ post is reminiscent of his pauldrons

……………………………………………….. that was totally on purpose. Yep. Definitely. Hmhm.

Anon said:Anon from before showed me your stuff today and just wanted to say wow I love your stuff what even your art is so good I fuckin love kiribaku and oh my god I swear I must have gone through your whole kiribaku tag and I’m gone your art just made my day

GOSH I’m glad you liked them???? thank you for such a nice message aaahhhh !!!!!!

Anon said:Im cry omg i just realized ur url is franeridart fjhfhf this whole time i thought it was friend art bddnjx

You’re the second person that tells me that in the span of just a couple of days omfg hahahaha it’s cool tho, I wish that was actually the url, it’d have been such a soft one haha

Anon said:hi Kaminari can skateboard he has a skateboard in his room

Kaminari in his room also has a dart board, a basketball and a dj console, and that’s only the stuff whe can see so actually, considering in his likes there’s “cool things” I think he’s the type of boy that tries to pursue any hobbie he might think would make him look cool, so either he has no clue how to use any of the cool things in his room above a vaguely amatorial level or he’s still pursuing all of those interests! Which would actually be super cool! Incidentally this is my preferred headcanon too so, yeah, as far as I’m concerned he knows how to skate. And play basketball. And darts. And also how to dj. He’s a cool kid haha

Anon said:Bless you and your super cute kiribaku ^_^

Bless you for the super sweet message, anon!!!! ;O;

Anon said:THAT JIROU IS SO TINY AND ADORABLE I’M DYING LOOK AT HER SIDE BY SIDE WITH KAMINARI AND BAKUGOU OH MY GOD

Hahahaha I might have actually accentuated that a bit, but she’s about 20cm shorter than the both of them and in a chibi style that’s hard to keep accurate hahahaha but yeah I love my pocket sized girl she’s the best

Anon said:Im so fucking happy because youve been posting (almost?) daily for a few days now

That was my own poor attempt at something similar to inktober, actually! I’ve had a few days through the month I wasn’t at home at all so I couldn’t draw all 31 days, but I think I got close? Maybe? I’m glad you enjoyed it, tho!!

Anon said:you deserve all the love in the world

I’m f sobbing so do you, friend ;u;

Anon said:do you like as*noya?? or, which are your main pairings for asahi and noya :)

I do ship as*noya, but I prefer Asahi with Daichi and Suga (ot3) or with Kiyoko, actually :O while my fav Noya ship is with Tanaka~

Anon said:I have recently fallen totally in love with kiribaku as a ship, and your art is always my favorite to see in the tags. Thanks for drawing those two nerds, and I hope you have a good rest of your day!

Thank you!!!!! This fandom is super full of incredibly talented people, I hope you’ll enjoy it here hahaha

Anon said: I first found your blog searching the Bokuroo tag.I was very happy because it was one of my all time OTPs,but they didnt have much content.Then there you came,with amazing art.Time passed and you watched BNHA.I was absolutely captivated by BakuShima and then I checked your blog and it had BakuShima!!I told myself “this person cant get any cooler”.But today i found out about TetsuKami and I checked their tag and yoU ALREADY MADE FANART OF THEM!!Officially ,you are the coolest person on Tumblr tbh

We seem to have really really similar tastes in ships, anon!!!! that’s so great omfg !!!!!!! :O and I’m super happy you like my stuff still afer all this time hahaha

Anon said:Could I draw some fan art of your ocs?

Oh my god yeah!!!!! please do link me to it if you do!!!!!

Anon said:BLESS YOUR BEAUTIFUL SOUL FOR MAKING SUCH AMAZING ART

BLESS YOU FOR BEING SO KIND, ANON!!!!!!

[survivor-iceland]

Ep. 5 - “i want to see a live reaction to this in the reunion chat” - Maynor

Stephen

Ahahaha by the grace of the inactivity gods im still here. This is my karma for suffering through the preseason of Erinsborough. Now, I may not have actually gone home, but who knows I had an gut feeling and those are usually right.

Stephen

*laughing about surviving* Jay: Music Videos! *stops laughing*

Dylan C

me: [volunteers to edit for this challenge] me: [regrets this 5 min later]

John

ok i have a LOT of tea that needs spilled so sit back, relax, and enjoy this feature presentation:

-first things first, cormac. why couldn’t you have just voted. i would have one more ally and stephen would be out. so thanks.

-second, zoe told me about her advantage and how she has connections to the other side so that we should have a group of 5 at the merge. so that’s mind blowing. i’m just like in shock because in a way, cormac getting pulled allowed me to be zoe’s number 1. and that’s amazing. we stan.

-third, sierra is driving me insane. constant overdrive from her, and she’s starting to cross the divide between helpful and micromanaging. she can micromanage herself out of the game for all i care.

-fourth, timmy is ADORABLE. i’m definitely trying to get a cross tribal alliance with him bc wow. he cute. like really. he’s cute.

Keith John

Well if episodes are named here, This title of this episode would be "How you get screwed When tribal council gets Cancelled."

From being in a safe position last night to waking up and realizing that I am screwed in this game.

First of all, THANK YOU CORMAC for going out at the worst time possible. Last night my name was thrown out by Stephen. So obviously people entertained the idea.I do feel that I would have stayed but Cormac's evac has changed alot.

I had a planned final three with Cormac and Zoe, with Cormac gone. I'm down one alliance member.

Stephen is still in the game. And I know he is targeting me.

Maynor never spoke to me about the vote much. Inspite of me approaching him before tribal to see if he wanted to work together

John. who said he would have my back and would tell me if anyone would throw my name out. Never told me about Stephen's plan. I am sure he knew about it.

Sierra and I haven't bonded much personally. A little my fault there.

And Lastly Zoe. I know for now she definitely has my back. And I have hers but it feels like my game is extremely dependent on her. I feel alot of people want to work with her. And how long will she want to work with me? That I don't know.

Honourary mention: JAY thanks for throwing a challenge that I would suck at the most. I hate being on camera, Hate singing unless I wanna punish someone. 

Raffy

Cormac being gone kind of relieves me since he has been giving me bad vibes ever since day 1 of this game. Now that's just one more person that I do not talk to out of the way. I figure that merge is happening at 11 because Jay said there was a twist which can only mean that it is merge or that someone is coming back into the game. Maybe both. I'm just going to focus on winning this challenge for my tribe by providing the lip sync of my life. This shit is about to be so FIRE.

Raffy

I think I am fully in crackhead behavior. I just messaged 6 people at the same time trying to have conversations with them. This one world has made a mess of me, and I do not like it. Also, I am pretty much giving up on the idol because I don't want to go through the effort of hunting for it. So, instead, I'll just pray that it isn't used against me.

Maynor

Well. Now im not sure if Stephen vote was true or not but i have to rely on that my allies were gunna be with me. Its sad seeing cormac go since he was someone i connected with. But im glad it was done before tribal and not after tribal. Im hoping we could win immunity this round since im still feeling a little nervousish. 

Maynor

Catch me voting out John for calling Timmy cute.

Omg. Like i want to see a live reaction to this in the reunion chat. Them finding out we are dating. 😂😂

Raffy

I kind of put my neck out there in this challenge by suggesting the song. While I am not editing the video, I did make the song suggestion which is almost as important. Perhaps this could lead to my downfall. Furthermore, I talked to Dylan and they said that only themselves, Ellie, Justin, and I submitted videos which means we are missing Timmy's and Joseph's. Plus, editing takes a long time, so Dylan might not even use their videos if they are late. I just hope what people managed to film is enough. I've never won a music video challenge, and I am hoping this game can change that. I'm not that confident though. 

Raffy

I think I have made some strong connections in this tribe and the other. The people who I have talked about staying strong and working together include Justin, John, Dylan, Ellie, Timmy, and Keith. This seems like a diverse group of people that I can fall back on if one ends up turning their back on me. I always have to have back-up allies, otherwise I am liable to get voted out early in merge which I suspect is soon. I just want to establish myself in another alliance, but that seems hard in this game. I don't know who would be in that new alliance, but it would be some combination of the people I mentioned and others who I get good vibes from. Let's pray for me!

John

if rupaul was judging this music video challenge, she’d be telling us to sashay away. we are literally on the level of valentina with her mask on bad.

Ellie

Let’s hope that this damn video comes togather 

Stephen

We’re losing this challenge. Theres only about 4/5 of us in the video, a lot of the video is from the original music video and the rest is... ok, but not great. Dylan CI wanna say we have a better video but I'm gonna be the most biased on the tribe since I edited the damned thing for about four hours. I had to sacrifice some synchronicity a little bit towards the beginning to get Ellie in for the 10 seconds for the extra points. I had originally trimmed her clip to what I could match up the best, but then I double checked the post lol. Hope the judges don't care too much there.

Dylan C

I'm not even gonna go feral. I'm just gonna lay face down on my kitchen floor for a while.

Stephen

I.... okay, im not complaining. But yeah judges thanks but the fuck?

Dylan C

I'm like, actually upset right now? Like not so much that we lost, but that I spent all that time editing, when I've been worried about getting all my homework done this weekend but I volunteered to edit and wasn't about to back out cos that'd be shitty!!, only to lose by 20 motherfucking points. And also? I worked with what my tribe gave me bitch!!! Raffy was the only one who recorded the whole song, Justin did like half, Ellie and Joseph only gave me short clips, and Timmy was sick so he didn't film anything? I just wasted my entire afternoon and evening on this when I have real life shit I should've taken care of, but I made a commitment to my tribe, and for what? Tribal that's going to be happening while I'm at one of my Thanksgiving events! Granted, that was going to occur regardless upon losing since I'll be busy both Thanksgiving and the day after. But fucking still. Kinda just wanna ghost the world atm.

John

i’m kinda torn that we won. on one hand, we’re safe. on the other hand, i wanted to vote out stephen. so like, i’m feeling mixed emotions. these people will be dangerous to take to the merge. i hope it’s not next.

Dylan C

Kinda funny how I was so zazzed to be strategic at the start of this but I really haven’t been since. Strategy? I don’t know her. Also I’ve been ass about socializing one on one with ppl on the other tribe so I have a feeling that’ll bite me in mine. 

Sierra

By some miracle, we’re safe! I’m so glad that we don’t have to vote anyone out right now... especially because I don’t have my vote right now. Maybe I can make it to the merge and hide for the first vote there without having to vote. 

Joseph Collins

I am confusion. Dylan did such a good job editing. Our tribe and group is such a great mix of personalities and stories. And they came together to blend and make an amazing video. I actually got emotional watching it. I was very surprised to find out we lost. And now, we have to vote someone off our tribe. I hate it so much. I feel like it’s gonna be Timmy. He was absent in the time-crunch immunity challenge. Even Justin showed up and showed out which I thought was awesome. I like Timmy. And I feel like this is a hard vote for others so now I have to go be cutthroat Jo

Justin

Alright, so another tribal for us. I feel better than last time, but I'm still not 100% confident I won't be targeted again. Before the results for the challenge came in though, Raffy approached me and started talking to me some more about working together which makes me feel better keeping him around. Especially since I realized that he talks to me more than Ellie, so honestly I want her out now cuz whenever I talk about working together she leaves me on read. So, in conclusion I don't want you in the game lol. At least Raffy talks to me and says he wants to work with me, even if it might be fake. I told Joseph that I would like Ellie out, but he says Timmy cuz he doesn't talk to him and he feels Ellie could be our shield. I don't want him to go yet because I feel like he would vote with me, but I'm not jeopardizing my game to save him since he barely talks to me too. Although Joseph makes a good point that Ellie can make a good shield, I feel like we have other shields to hide behind in Raffy and Dylan. Plus, I feel like she has more connections than Timmy could get if he keeps playing the way he is.

Maynor

Im so happy that we were able to pull of the win in immunity. Im making it to the final 11. I really want to make it far in this game. I am really hoping Timmy stays alive. Like i know its bias cuz we are together. But we normally dont play the game together. Im just hoping we can make it far together this time. Plus ❤️ Jay. It would be amazing if i won this game. Me winning my first and last game would be pretty awesome. So im going to try my hardest.

Timmy

So apparently Justin is going around saying my name. Does this idiot not realize that I’m the reason he stayed last tribal we went to. Like seriously, and apparently he’s telling everyone the same thing that he’ll be with them always. And he calls me inactive, like sorry you message me at 9am when I’m walking into work and j can’t answer you until like 5pm when I get out. He better leave this tribal. I wish it was happening tonight just to also move things forward.

Dylan C

Me? Lying by omission to Ellie? It’s more likely than you’d think. Justin gave me her name earlier, and I tried to talk him out of it. He made a comment about keeping it between us. Now Ellie’s told me that Justin through her name out. “Between us.” Sure, Jan. And hey, I never mentioned it to Ellie or Raffy in our alliance chat (which exists as of last night). So I did keep it between us unlike him. Didn’t mention it because he had a decent point about Ellie’s strong social game, but now isn’t the time to try to get her out, IMO. Especially since I’ve just allied with her. Granted, I’ve turned on allies shortly after making alliances before but that’s not happening in this game. No way. So, I just acted like I didn’t know when Ellie told me and I’ll keep on that. That’s how I’ve been doing a lot: acting like some information people has given me is new to me (usually with Joseph tbh) when it isn’t new at all. Just kinda agree, maybe say I was already thinking about that, but not imply that I’d been Discussing it, depending on how I’m talking to.  

Ellie

So Justin is scrambling like HARDCORE, He threw Timmy’s name out and hen my name out right after saying that we were tight, and he’s so paranoid and it’s driving all of us crazy. Like we have until tomorrow night, chill out. And Jospeh really wants Timmy out but I’m like IF WE TAKE JUSTIN TO MERGE HE WILL FLIP WITHIN FIVE MINUTES!! Timmy might not be the most active but at least he’s fucking loyal. Raffy, Timmy, and I want Justin out so badly. Dylan is trying to listen before making a concrete decision, and Joseph and Justin want Timmy out. Justin even wants me out apparently.

RaffyA lot happened today, so I am going to break it down. Last night, Timmy, Ellie, and I (Just Go With It) discussed the vote early. Timmy suggested that we might want to get rid of Joseph or Dylan since he thought he would be able to sway Justin, since he considers Justin a close ally to him. That's when we all compared notes that Justin had claimed his apparent closeness to everyone on the tribe. This immediately put him on my radar as it could be a sign a double-crosser later down the road. As was not going to push anything since tribal was two days away, however I did talk with Ellie a little bit and she seemed down to vote Justin since she had a close relationship with Joseph and Dylan. While this was happening, Dylan created the Hypothetical Alliance with Ellie and I. This is great news since that means Ellie and I have control over two other votes (Timmy and Dylan) based solely on votes. In this way, whoever I wanted gone would go. Justin messaged me early in the morning asking about the vote. He heavily suggested that we vote for Timmy because he is inactive and bad at challenges, but those are the things that I want in an ally going into a merge. Besides that, Justin was asking incessant, paranoia-filled questions regarding the vote and would not let up. It is safe to say that he doesn't get that he's being incredibly messy and scramble-y when he doesn't have to be. The vote isn't until tomorrow, yet he's acting like it's in thirty minutes! The King of Crack right here! Anyways, so I told Ellie and then she was experiencing the same thing, so we then told Timmy. Timmy instantly wanted him gone which meant what I wanted from the beginning was going to happen. Furthermore, I learned from Ellie that Justin does not trust me and that he thinks I am vague and noncommittal. Not only that, apparently Ellie heard him say her name from someone. This dude is incredibly dangerous for my alliance! So, I was determined to see him go and to get everyone to go after him. Joseph was a tough nut to crack. He was very adamant today about voting out Timmy and keeping Justin. Apparently, Ellie got through to him, but I do not know how well that worked out for her. I have a feeling that Justin also said that he was tight with Joseph to the latter as he did with everyone. And Joseph thinks it is serious which means they'll be a powerful duo going into merge. I have to keep my eye on Joseph and make sure he doesn't slip from my grasp. Other than that, I managed to get Dylan on board with the vote as they thought Justin's paranoia and overall messiness was also a danger going into merge. Finally, Zoe approached me today asking who I felt good with. I knew she was sniffing for an alliance so I said Ellie, Dylan, and Timmy. She suggested that, since a merge was coming soon, that we create an alliance with Dylan, Timmy, and John making us a strong 5. I immediately agreed of course. A strong alliance helps me navigate the merge more comfortably and easily. Plus, in that alliance, I have Dylan and Timmy to have a majority over the decisions. So, if it came down to us 5, I would be good. Not only that, but this means that Dylan and Timmy will vote together in this tribal along with Ellie and I, ensuring that Justin goes to EoE. This is all working out for me. I do not know whether to tell Ellie about this alliance eventually, but I am planning on keeping it pretty tight-lipped for the most part. What doesn't kill her makes her stronger. And that's what you missed on Glee Johndamn. who knew i’d align myself with the perfect ride or die. she has an advantage and NOW she has an idol?! she is STACKED, and now i gotta protect her at all costs.

Maynor

Ive been talking to Keith a lot more now but heard from Timmy that people have been saying that he has been doing that with everyone so idk what to think of our bonding. Like i would like to think he would be on my side but who knows. We been talking about pokemon cards and the funko pops that i have. Its been fun. Im really glad talking to him more. 

Keith John

Due to thanksgiving. Tribal was moved a day ahead and everyone was busy celebrating. So things have been slow.

I decided to take the opportunity to complete the fox portion of the idol hunt. which turned out to nothing, As Zoe already informed me and Cormac that she got the advantage. after informing her I told her I will give the other path on the idol hunt a try. didn't want to go behind her back and do it. especially we are expecting a swap. this is my first time playing so I'm not sure that its a sure swap or another twist. 

Also finally I messaged Timmy again. After he didn't reply to me the first time. which was like 10 days ago. I know since I felt that I wasn't in the best position possible during the last tribal. I should have made an attempt before to talk to him as I need people, any people who want to work with me. But since I have had previous instances when I worked abroad, when people immediately snubbed or ignored me or changed their attitudes towards me when they found out that I am a Pakistani. N for a moment I felt like Timmy had decided that he didn't want to work with me. And me being a Pakistani was the reason. Which I guess is stupid on my part, I saw he added other people from the game to his skype. But didn't even reply to me. So When Zoe brought up the possibility of working with him. I decided to approach him again. This time he did reply. he seems nice but reserved. hopefully, we swap on the same tribe since we might have mutual friends who want to work together. But I would also like to make a genuine friendship with him and whether that becomes an alliance or not. that's to be seen.

OK Signing off for the night.

Timmy

People are quiet today in PMs but i hope that’s since we talked about tribal yesterday. Justin better be going bc he’s a snake ass bitch and I can’t deal with that shit.

Zoe

I got an idol, folks!!!!!!

I'm incredibly surprised at the rest of the tribe's laziness, considering I now have an advantage and an idol. The downside of the idol is that I have lost my vote next tribal, so now I really have to have trust in my tribe members and alliances cross tribal to keep me going through the twist, unknown as of five minutes before tribal. I predict a swap, but (not) knowing Jay makes me doubt that as well.

I'm still really sad about Cormac, but it's my game, not his game. As long as I can still count on my other connections, I'll just have to go on strong and know that it wasn't his time.

[vakariansmonocle]

To my friends

Tl;dr: im a big gay and i love all my friends so much and they have and do help me daily. I am richer for having known you.

This is an extremely long post to my friends tho. It’s pretty heavy at the beginning & end, discussing some more existential things and loss of loved ones. & how i’ve been dealing ( poorly ) with that. But, this is extremely important to me and I would tell them all these things privately, but I want this sort of immortalized on the internet, so everyone knows and can refer to this if they ever doubt themselves, or the love i have for them. if you wanna skip the heavier shit, just look for the divider & the big ol ‘so.’ <3

  The past few weeks have been something of a blur ngl. Its been emotionally taxing and its sorted of sucked. But within the last week, i sort started thinking heavily about my friendships and how much they matter. In the past month i have seen multiple posts from people who recently lost their friends and loved ones. I have seen lives taken at a young age and friendships that’ll be cherished as long as those left behind remember. Multiple times within the last month the explicit message of “Tell the people you love how much they matter to you because you don’t know when you won’t be able to again” has come around. Its a message i know well. I’ve seen my fair share of death; Countless family members passing on from old age. Other students i wanted to see grow. Friends i never got to talk to again. But that last ones always gets me the most.  

  So the past month, I have been dealing with this weight of watching people lose their loved ones left and right and always, always, taken too soon. And i watched how heavily it hung on the shoulders of those left behind. The ever present weight of a void where once there was the bright light of a person whom you loved. And it sort of tugged on my own weight in my chest. It hit that nerve that reminded me of those I’ve lost. And it, in the simplest of terms, scared me. 

Because the truth is, we don’t know when we’ll go. Or when those we love will leave us. We don’t know if one day they’ll have the courage to leave us behind, or whether they’ll leave us naturally. We don’t know who we’ll lose or when. But god i hope its never too soon. I hope to every single god and goddess and being of power that you all get to live long and joyous lives that, with or without me, are the best adventures you have. Preferably with me though, really. Being boring without each other, lets be honest.

So

 its been a month of me wanting to desperately say how much i love you all. Its been me debating if i should liam O'Brien it and make a heartfelt but weird as heck one shot for us to run just so i can tell you all you mean so very much to me, and that i am, and always will be, richer for knowing you. Though that’s still on the table really. But for now I’m writing this. To my friends. To all my friends that i have lost. To all my friends that i will make; I love you.

  To  Neah ( @therifaerie ) a constant source of good. Who has made me laugh, unknowingly, in some of my worst of times. Whom i have only known a short time, but have loved every moment of it. Who i am constantly proud of, and whose parents i would gladly fight in a dennys parking lot any day. Trust me when i say this: you’re gonna be great. You’re art is wonderful and it honestly makes me wanna draw every time i see it, and i can’t wait to see how it looks years from now. You’re gonna do great, and be great, honey. So don’t give up on that, alright? It can only get better, I promise. You deserve so much good, and you’re always a light in our lives, i love you.

 To Lucas ( @scriptuurient ) who has somehow become my other half in most things i do & just in general, really. Who means so much to me, its honestly overwhelming most days. Who i want to live with and see the world with, so we can avoid bad vibe places and count the stars together and talk about rocks when we’re tired or always.  i never thought you would stick to my lame nonsense self, because you met me in a pretty shitty place in the last year, but you’ve proven to me every day you are a light and a hand to hold when things get bad. Who i owe so many laughs to, and so much of my ability to hope to. I am so happy i know you, and I am so excited how far you go, whether it’s on earth or looking up at the sky and knowing you’re up there, literally in space on mars. You’re gonna do wonderful. Never forget to believe in yourself, or at the least, we all believe in you. I love you so much and i am so very proud of you, every day.

  To Dom ( @queerquarian ), my little brother. My best friend. The hand that has clasped my wrist to drag me back so many a time I’ve lost count. The one who has given me love and shown me kindness when i needed most. The one who i think of always as my friend, but more importantly, my family. Who has given me so much, given the world so much, and remains so bright and ever burning light to many even when they themselves are fighting off their own darkness. A constant in my life that I am so happy for, because you always bring this level of comfort i can’t explain. you are my little brother, through and through, and maybe its that love & trust i have for you that makes it so easy and comfortable to talk with you about everything and anything. I unno what it is, but god, it’s great. I’m so excited for you to grow and learn everything you want. I’m so happy i’ve gotten to see you come so far, but it’s not over yet, yea? I love you so much.

  To Michaela ( @myopicmickey​ ), the one who i fucked up with and yet still loves me, even if its just as a friend now. Who has gone through their own journey, and doesn’t know how proud i am of them every day. Who doesn’t know how grateful i am that they let me back in. Who is absolutely one of the only people allowed to punch me directly in the face because im an asshole. The one that’s been there for me multiple times, and the one who knows me probably the best. But the one i wish the most gets to see me grow and live, & that i get to see grow. In a different life, we worked out better. But I don’t regret anything with you, except fucking up of course. I hope there’s forgiveness in your heart for me, hon. You deserve better than me, deserve the world and so much more than I could ever hope to explain.  To the one i love greatly,  who is forever and always my best friend.   

And, To Rachel ( @inuyasha-amv ) the cornerstone of my day to day. Who i CONSTANTLY give shit because what else are friends for than to fuck with each other. Who has been there for me so many times when i needed someone most. Who has shown me so much kindness and love that its hard to comprehend how she does it. One of the few people who have heard me crack and crumble and fall to pieces and stayed by my side through the worst of it. The one who i owe the most to. Because without rachel, i wouldn’t know three of my best friends and i wouldn’t have more budding friendships I’m grateful for. And who i am so excited to watch grow up and finish school so she can make a difference in the world, one day at a time. The one who is constantly giving, and teaching us all to be kind ( and in general random things. ) You’re going to be great, and you know that’s what I believe. & I am so grateful to have you in my life. Just remember, I  hate you, you’re the absolute worst you dingus. Nah, i care about you a lot and don’t you ever forget it ya fucker.

  So. To my friends, my family. Who have given me so much hope and love and laughter and joy. Even if i haven’t known two of you very long, it has felt like ages. I love you all so much. And i am so proud of each and every one of you. I know for a fact i wouldn’t be here without each of you because no matter how little you think you help, you all are the foundation of why i keep going why i hold on so dearly. Because of you, i am alive and living. Maybe its not some peoples definition of living, but it is for me. You all have given me bits of hope and love and kindness that have undeniably helped with healing wounds, old and new. You all are the hands i hold, mentally of course, when i need to grab on. Every i love you and every bit of kindness you have shown me is a very loud, and very bright, double bird fuck you to the depressive thoughts that ever make me doubt it. Because i know that without this wonderful and loving family i have with you all, life would be boring, and really, not worth it. Maybe it would be just to meet another family. But i doubt i would have gotten that far or enjoy that other one nearly as much. Because you all made me realize my own worth, and gave me the support system I needed to feel like it’s worth seeing through.

  To my friends. My misfit family, found in some of my hardest years. The loves of my life. Never forget or doubt that i love you more than you can possibly ever imagine. Never forget that i am proud of you for how far you’ve all made it. Nor how excited i am to fill in chapters of my life with you all in them, how excited i am to watch your stories grow. Never forget that you all are important and mean the world to me, even in the darkest of times, i love you and i care about you. I will always be there for you, & i’ll never stray too far. Because you are never alone, for i am always with you.

[imsarabum]

Responses to {Part 29} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU Asks~

Please ‘Keep Reading’ to find my response to your ask ^^ As always, I have copied and pasted all asks into this post in regards to last night’s chapter to avoid clogging up people’s dashboards and to avoid spoilers for those who may still wish to read the chapter. Thank you ^^

(I have also included asks that I received before this IWSY chapter was posted ^^)

@jungshaking said: I was so hyped during work yesterday. I thought "oh yes a new chapter tonight" MULTIPLE times, but I had to remind myself each time that it was Monday 😩😭 (cont.) tbh I'm so scared that the upcoming IWSY chapter will be the last now that Yoongi is gone

Haha you poor thing! It’s coming soon so no need to wait any longer! And don’t worry, it’s not the last chapter ^^ :3

Anonymous said: WAIT HOLY SHIT IT'S TUESDAY ALREADY??????OMGGGKJSJGJGSK

IKR THIS WEEK PASSED TOO QUICKLY

Anonymous said: IT'S TUESDAY I'M EXCITED

I’m excited and nervous :(

@killingalltheflowers said: I kinda... just tried Merlot wine because of IWSY xD

Ooooh what did you think of it?

Anonymous said: I really think "I was here" by beyonce suits IWSY's last chapter

Yesssssssssss! You’re right!

Anonymous said: Not sure why but I imagined the Sine Nomine to look like a titan with grey hair (from aot)

You can imagine them to look like however you please!! I encourage that wholeheartedly heh ^^

Anonymous said: I am reaaaaady come and snatch my wig oh Saraaaa Take my heaaaaart take it all  *kiss yr cute ass cheeks* --wifey anon 🐇

I hope it won’t disappoint you ^^ and yes pls give me all the kissies and cuddles~~

Anonymous said: Heheheheh it is tuesday ...... 😏😏😏

Indeed it is *wiggles brows*

@jynxy24 said: IWSY IS COMING AND IF YOU'LL PLEASE SPARE MY HEARTEU. I HAVE EXAMS AND I WANT TO PASS BEFORE I DIE. I love you, Sara!! (I'm hoping for a great chapter kukuku :3)

I hope it will spare your heart! And don’t worry my love I’m sure you will do amazingly in your exams ^^ I really hope you will think the chapter is great, I tried very hard :)

@clara-licht said: So in the end, I didn't get the univ invitation and I also didn't get the Wings Tour ticket even after waiting in the venue for hours, so I felt really shitty even until now. (I still can't listen to 2!3! or I'll break down in tears) But still, I look forward to Wednesdays because IWSY can always get my mind off these problems even if only for a while. How many more chapters do you reckon it will be? I, for one, don't want it to end but all good things will come to an end after all :')

Awh babe I’m so so sorry to hear that :/ that really sucks but don’t worry, BTS will definitely be coming back to where you live in the future and you can have another chance to see them okay? Same with the University, are you able to apply for another one? Did you get any more offers? I’m glad that IWSY can make you a little happy ^^ And I’ not 100% sure, but I suspect that next week might be the last chapter, I haven’t fully decided yet! But the final chapter will have ‘Final Chapter’ written in the title :D

@nora2bts said: Hiii! I'm sorry I don't want to be annoying or anything but I binge read "IWSU" and I reallyyyyyyy loved it a lot! I was just wondering if u were gonna post part 29 today, since I can't wait, I've been waiting for what seems an eternity! 😂😂😂 I just wanted to let u know that I really enjoyed your stories, thank you 😊 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

You’re not annoying love! I do write at the top of every chapter that IWSY is posted every Tuesday evening between 9-10pm UK time and I have always stayed true to that so fear not! Thank you so much for enjoying the story my love, you’re so welcome ^^

@clara-licht said: I was listening to Spring Day when I read chapter 29 and for the first time since WT in Jakarta I can listen to the song and sing it happily instead of feeling hurt and upset, because I was so excited throughout the chapter! So thank you for that :) I can't stop smiling, gosh! I really, REALLY want to know how Jiminnie is faring. And I think I fell for Namjoon. That sweet, sweet boy 😍 Oh btw, how old are they all by now? Including Namjoon, Yoongi (had he been alive), Jin, and Hobi?

AwwwwHHHH YES! I’m glad it holds no bad memories for you now my love ^^ Thank you for reading the chapter dear :D And as for their ages, I did specify Yoongi’s was older than Taehyung in a precious chapter (I just can’t remember which chapter, sorry!) and Namjoon is University/college age so somewhere between 18-25 (I decided not to give a specific age). Unfortunately, I never specified Hoseok and Seokjin’s ages in the story but they would have been University age too :D

Anonymous said: “Not only his sun his moon and all his stars" I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

WHAT DID I DO

@semisweetsuga said: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HELLO MY SWEET BABYBOY PUMPKIN SPICE CHAI LATTE WHOM I LOVE VERY MUCH

@mocking-butts said: OH MY GOD IM A SOBBING MESS BECAUSE THIS STORY IS THE BEST THING EVER I CANT WITH LIFE.PLEASE BE NEXT WEEK ALREADY

I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT THANK YOU BABY c:

@shineeshawol204 said: AHHHHHHHHHHHH (cont.) I retract my former statement of you being a BiTcH because mmm i is happy now :) much content, very pleased

YAY I’M NO LONGER THE BITCH, I CAN DIE IN PEACE c: hehe ^^ thank you doll!

@killingalltheflowers said: This. This was the cutest and most heartwarming chapter ending ever. I'm so happy I'm able to go to bed calmly and happily and fluffily for once after reading IWSY xD

It was so heartwarming I felt all floofy when I was writing a lot of it :3 I hope you have a great sleep and have nice fluffy dreams of Kookie! :3

Anonymous said: OK HOLD ON SO CHAPTER 29 WAS AMAZING and then I was just reading your responses to the questions abt chap 28 and then I saw "Don’t threaten me with a good time" and then I was all like waIT A SEC DO U LISTEN TO PANIC! LIKE ALTHOUGH IM NOT A HUGE FAN THE SONGS ARE AMAZING ٩( ᐛ )و

LISTEN I WAS AND STILL AM TRASH FOR PANIC! - AS WELL AS FALL OUT BOY AND MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE I was the definition of a myspace scene queen in my early teens but I listened to an eclectic mix of music - not just those types of bands hehe :3

@animeimmortal said: YAH. DONT LEAVE ME ON THAT 'WILL YOU MARRY ME' SHIT. GAH!. im sorry i love you ❤ buT LIKE BRUHHH i want MOrE ❤❤❤

Listen - I will always leave you hanging c: hehe I love you too! Thank you for reading the chapter as always beautiful ^^

Anonymous said: Babe, the 29th part of IWSY was absolutely amazing ;-; but i feel that the end is nearing.. I loved IWSY so much it brought me to tears and it hurts to think that so beautiful a thing would actually be coming to an end.. Your writing skills are on fleek and the story is well woven.. Thank you so much for such an incredible experience ~ ❤😭😘

The end is definitely nearing, sadly enough :c IWSY has become a real world to me for the past almost 30 weeks of my life! lol :3 I suspect that next week will be the final chapter, but I don’t know for 100% so don’t quote me on that ;D Your words about me are beautiful and I don’t deserve them, but thank you so much my love ^^

Anonymous said: Happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy!! I'm really excited about how IWSY will end! I hope it ends happily!

Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows for everyone yay!!

@deangetoutofmyspleen said: tUESDAY BRO IT IS TUESDAY AND IM SCREAMING AND CRYING A LIL THIS CHAPTER WAS PURE FLUFF I LOVE LIFE I LOVE LIVING I LOVE EVERYTHING MY HEART IS SO HAPPY

IT WAS PURE FLUFF IT MADE ME SO HAPPY NOT TO HAVE TO ALMOST KILL SOMEONE OFF OR WRITE ABOUT DEATH FOR THE LAST PART OF THE CHAPTER LOL~ thank you so much cutiepie :D

Anonymous said: aaWWWWWWEEHHHH i knew this was coming >////< !! i was so glad for Y/N and Kookie until "wait.. whY IS SHE HAVING A CHILD WHEN THEY AREN'T MARRIED" xD. Keep up the good work Sara!! -holoAnon

Hahaha don’t worry it was just a little accident! Even if Jungkook were to never marry Y/N, I’m sure their relationship would still be a solid, loving and caring one ^^ for all three of them! :D thank you so much holoAnon! :D

Anonymous said: I'm so happy that Joonie is finally at peace with the notion of being a vampire, and the way Y/N told Tae about how Yoongi was happy in his own little world with Tae and their parents was so incredibly heartwarming and what made it even better was what that meant to Tae, and I just ugh. This chapter made me soft. Like Yoongi's gummy smile soft. Thank you for always writing such amazing stories.

Yes - I was excited to reveal why Namjoon was the way he was, so that everyone could understand him better. I felt that this chapter was the best time to do that as the other chapters before the ball kind of painted him in a negative light. But he always had a heart full of gold c: YOONGI’S GUMMY SMILE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING EVER HE SHOULD ALWAYS SMILE LIKE THAT :D hehe~ aww thank you so much and you’re welcome for the story dear ^^

@kookietaejimin said: hi!!! do you know how long iwsy is going to be?

Next week MIGHT be the last chapter but I don’t know yet - sorry! ^^

@the-golden-jhope said: OH MY GOD MY HEART HURTS THIS IS SO CUTE I ALMOST CRIED JUNGKOOK IS LITERALLY THE SWEETEST MAN ON EARTH

HE IS SO SWEET WE ALL DESERVE VAMPIRE PRINCES CALLED JUNGKOOK I

@mysr3 said: "Will you Marry me?"u warm n tortured my heart at the same time for this cliff hanging 😍does this mean IWSY almost over?😖Saraaa how can u managed to b more awesome n amazing than u already r hmm?😘this Ch is so touching! Luv how u mentioned Yoongi~just so sweet n meaningful gosh😍hv to find Prince Jungkook for me asap. The whole thing is well laid out, characters interaction, decisions n everything is on point since the beginning of this series. U genius Girl!Thank you so much! I love U❤️❤️❤️ (cont.) Sry ps Namjoon is such moral character n Y/N's new demeanor is goddess. Am I smelling smut coming next wk hehehe🤔😝

Warming and torturing is something I love doing :D hehe~ IWSY is almost over, yes :( But fear not! I plan on doing a spin off for Tae and Jimin in the future (maybe like 2-3 chapters) on how their relationship formed way before Y/N met Jungkook :D For those of you who love Vampire VMIN! ^^ Thank you for loving the layout and the plot - you warmed my heart in return :D I love you too and thank you so much my dear!! ;3

@adhewitt said: YAY MARRIAGE

YAY WEDDING BELLS

Anonymous said: Gaaaahhh!!! I was waiting for this 😭 I'm crying, will this be a happy ending already? -anonph13

Thank you for waiting for it my love! :3 and a happy ending certainly looks likely, doesn’t it? ^^ hehe :3 Thank you for reading!

@noceurash said: I LOVE YOU!! [sweet chapters like this make my heart so happy hghg] i hope you have a fantastic day tomorrow and i love you!!! ~~~ your writing continues to be so great and i love it. <3

I LOVE YOU TOO!! Awww I’m so happy that it make your heart happy! You’re so cute you literally said i love you twice i swear to god I live for pure lil beans like you :3 I hope you’ll have a fantastic day too!! :3

@jynxy24 said: The ending made me cry god!!!!

Awwwww I hope they were tears of happiness!!

Anonymous said: Wow. This last IWSY update was so pure and beautiful. I love it.

Thank you so much my love :3 I’m really happy that you liked it!~

@koreaisanaddiction said: great chapter. one of my theories were correct. the one about namjoon. but the one about the baby was wrong. i realized i thought about it in the eyes of human logic not vampiric. oh well better luck next time for me i guess.

Thank you for thinking it was great! And yay! one out of two isn’t bad at all heh ^^ Don’t worry dear, I’m still really happy you enjoyed it :)

Anonymous said: Is it bad that I'm actually really completely genuinely satisfied with the ending of chapter 29 of ISWY? and that it would be completely fine if you just stopped the series right there? I dunno, but the way you wrote this chapter, it doesn't make me feel the need to question anything. Sara, you ended it perfectly and now, you're turning me from a loyal maknae-line stan to a namjoon stan. That.... not many people can do. *applauds* Anyways, I love you, take care, and keep writing! <3 - army anon

Awwwww that’s so freaking sweet I CAN’T guh ~~~ I’m legit crying at your message right now, seriously :( haha OKAY I’m good~ lol Well it looks like right now there will be one more chapter to go, but I’m not completely sure or decided yet. There’s still one or two things I’d like to include to wrap things up once and for all :3 AND OMG NAMJOON SNATCHED YOU?! Uh oh..makenae line is gonna have to step up their game if they want you back :3 I love you too and thank you so much for being so kind to me always, you have no idea how happy and cheerful it makes me :)

@min-ty said: SARA OMG THE CHAPTER WAS SO GOOD I say this every week but I find it absolutely necessary that I do BUT SHOOK THANK YOU FOR BRINGING THIS STORY INTO MY LIFE

Hahahah it’s okay I will still appreciate it 100% no matter how many times you might say it! Seriously :) THANK YOU FOR READING MY STORY because it makes me so incredibly happy :) Thank you thank you thank you ^^

@ananyak26 said: OMG OMGOMG! Part 29 !!!! Yea the last line was soooo adorable!I'm fangirling right nowxD.(Obviously the chapter was good too but the last line oh god!) Great jooobbb!!

Ahhhh yes the last line! Wedding bells!! :3 hehe thank you my lovely, I’m so glad you enjoyed the chapter :3

Anonymous said: u don't know how excited i am when it comes to tuesday!!! i'm so in love w ur iwsy series that i almost literally ran home today to read chapter 29!!!! i really love your readings and please don'r ever stop writing 😢😢💜

I’m so happy that you get excited when Tuesdays come! You’re so cute hehe :D Thank you so much and don’t worry, I won’t ever stop writing! ^^

Anonymous said: IWSY lmao idek what to say anymore it's been like 6 months HAHA I've been reading since the first chapter rolled out its like watching my kid grow up HAHA thank you for writing such a good series have a good week ! -eggyook (cont.) --eggyook  Forgot to say, good luck for your exams !! You can do it :)))

Ahhh thank you for sticking with the story for such a long time! And yeah I feel you, I feel like IWSY has been a huge part of my life and the world has come alive for me this entire time xD Like I’ve kind of been living there in my mind hehe^^ Thank you so much my love and I’ll try my best of my exams! I hope you have a good week too :D

@lostheretics said: petition to make a better life for namjun pls sign it for him he's just a sMol bEan istg T_T it's aLMOST ENDING!!!!   or is it not............*dead af*

Awwwwh don’t worry he’ll have a good like with Y/N and the Jeon’s! And yes, it’s absolutely almost ending :(

Anonymous said: Another great chapter of IWSY but why do I feel like it is coming to an end 😢😢😢

Thank you my love! And yes you’re right - it’s coming to an end :( 30 weeks is a looooong time!

Anonymous said: ahhh bittersweet feeling about I won't stop you like everything is fine now yay and can't wait for the baby but it's gonna end soon I'm so sad

Yes I feel the same way to be honest! IWSY feels like my baby and it’s all grown up now haha c:

Anonymous said: is it just me or is part 29 shorter ??? oh my gosh I can't get enough of it T.T I honestly think after the end of the series you should gather all the chapters and make it into a story book. it's way too good!! -bunnykookie96

Hiya love! Hmmm well it’s the same length as any other chapter really :3 Possibly because it’s just drawing to an end that one might feel like it’s shorter :(  I actually would really love to do that but I have no idea how lol :c Anyway, thank you so much for reading the new chapter my deary!! :3

Anonymous said: I have trust issues because of u its just too fluffy 🤔 Also do you have back dimples ?  And last but not least I can smell a smut coming soon :))) --wifey anon 🐇

I guess I’ll just have to prove you wrong! :3 And yes - I do have back dimples - fun fact, they are referred to as “Dimples of Venus” heh c: I put it in because, well, I just wanted to ;D thank you so much my love and I hope you have a good day/night! :3

Anonymous said: SARA IS IT JUST ME OR YOURE QUOTING PRINCESS DIARIESNSJSJSKSJSNS

I have no idea what a princess diaries is o.o Sorry! :(

[atomickrakatoa]

Episode 7 - “And I have no idea what a Willa is.” -Chips

Bryce

I guess Liana voted me? how odd. Colin voted Nicholas I presume but uh me and Quillynn lived which is all that matters tbh! Im happy that we get to live another round I was scared(pumpkin)

Colin, from the grave

fuck these hoes

QuilLynn

So.. I survived tribal! I'm super happy that we were able to get out Colin, as much as I love him as a person and would have wanted to work with him under different circumstances it was the only thing that made sense. Basically Bryce and I put ourselves in a position where we were the swing votes between Colin leaving and Nicholas leaving. Although there were benefits with both options, we knew that Colin would be harder to convince to also vote out Liana if we lose again, and we feel safer (for now) with Nicholas. At this point I feel great, I don't want to sound cocky, but I now just don't see either Bryce or I leaving before merge! 

Dana

Hello Dads and lovers! I don't have too much to say about the game, except the tea is that i'm ready af to merge. The fastest way to kill me is to make me go to tribal on this tribe. Chips hates me, Jay O knows about my friend group premade, and Kelsey is inact af. Zach and I want to convince Kelsey to vote with us, but umm basically i'm going to pressure him into playing some advantage. I'm going to make him king of paranoia and tbh it won't be hard. Also i'm an actual slut for letter # like i crave it. So thanks hosts!

Trixie

hi my tribe is gonna lose this challenge xx

**Malam loses immunity**

Bryce

We got 2nd in immunity thats iconic. but im afraid ppl will see me as a threat but like.... I had to score since quillynn and liana did nothing and nicholas wasnt on much.Im just happy we won and are one step closer to merging where i can try to meet back up with bryan!

Bryan

So me and trixie fought our hardest but we still weren’t able to win. EMPHASIS ON ME AND TRIXIE AND NOT OUR ACTUAL FUCKING TRIBE! THESE BITCHES DIDNT DO JACK SHIT! I was talking to trixie about it, how we are fighting the hardest when we aren’t even the ones at risk and they don’t even care. But the votes are probably going to be heading towards Willa.

Zach

WE WON IMMUNITY! WIG! I expect Trixie to use her idol that I provided her... my impact. I shouldn;t have, and I kind of regret it but I don't. It's weird. I want merge to come pleASEeee

QuilLynn

One step closer to merge! My team of icons won immunity again! Although, to be honest I didn't really try or participate, because I would rather us go to tribal again. We have the numbers on our tribe to vote out Liana and I want to do that before we get to merge and she just acts as Chips' double vote advantage. 

Trixie

My tribe loves going to tribal apparently! We’ve lost/come close to losing every single challenge that I’m praying to the furby gods for a mercy merge. 

Being a villain, naturally I have satan on my side. Although I had described zachary rae as being an angel, he’s more akin to a devil because he’s left me a gift that I don’t know what to do with yet. I feel like I have Bryan and Christian down to vote Willa. Willa, on the other hand, thinks we’re going to vote Christian and is “willing” to go to rocks, which is a big fat lie imo. I feel like he’s going to try and flip the heroes on me, and I’m hoping they won’t listen. After all, I do a lot more for my tribe than he does. 

I’m always worried something will happen, and I don’t wanna be that fool who plays the idol when unneeded, but I also don’t wanna be the bigger fool who goes out while holding one. help

Willa

I'm being voted off is this necessary 

Chips

Alright, so the challenge was the one where you get letters and then you make words from them. In general, I'm pretty decent at it... but also I never have any time online for that sort of challenge so I saw if I could sit out... and I did. http://imgur.com/dYxDGuG.gif And then I wasn't added to the chat or whatever so I was kinda in the dark about our team's score (which is odd, because I believe that in the show when they sit out they are still at the challenge) but I was hoping that we could be successful and not have tribal. Then the results were posted and our team was number one! So no tribal! And the marshmallow tribe is going to tribal... https://68.media.tumblr.com/744c19eadd3d19f73b4dfece4e0ae798/tumblr_olvj861Lu01u2ragso1_500.gif On that tribe are Bryan, Christian, Trixie, and Willa! Bryan I'd like to stay because I think he's most likely to work with me in a situation where we are reunited. Christian is here and there, but would likely stick with me as well. Trixie is basically QuilLynn so if she were to go it wouldn't be bad for me. And I have no idea what a Willa is.

Bryce

I hope Bryan plays his idol

Christian

I don't know why Willa doesn't like me, when I've never spoken to him or even played a game with him. Unless he friends with someone in the community that hates me lolol. I lowkey feel like he has an idol, and I'm gonna get idoled out. But I guess we will see. If I do go tonight, I'm not mad about it. It is what it is. But once confessionals are released, Willa feel free to tell me why you have it out for me. Ctfu 

Liana

I'm so glad we won because if we proved anything the last tribal, it's that this tribe is a mess.

Jay

I just got out of work ahhhhhhh!!!! Anyways im super happy my tribe pulled out a win because i did NOTHING in the last challenge. I've worked for the last 4 days so i was either at work or tired af during the challenge. Hopefully (!!!!) That changes and i can start pulling my weight.

**Willa is voted out, round 8 begins**

Bryan

Lol at Willa thinking we were going to rocks when in actuality he was going

Kelsey

The sitch is that once again; the foxy lady gets to stay~! I feel very grateful that I was able to stay out of tribal the last week. This streak of safety is sooooooo nice to rely on and now...we're heading into the top TWELVE of the competition! I can't say I ever saw myself making it to this stage of the game and gosh...merge can't be far away! At this point, I just want to break away from this sort of "tribe" game and I just want to get started on playing in the final traction of the competition! You know what? I DESERVE to make it to the end and, at the very least, I deserve to FIGHT for it. On this tribe, I do believe I've tightened my relationship with Dana as well as with Chips. And if I do have to vote someone off, I'm quite comfortable switching over with the villains to eliminate Jay as I trust him less than Zach. I just...I feel CONFIDENT! I feel so ready to keep going! I'm filled with excitement and I just wanna- I want to be in the heat of it again soon enough! I said this earlier, but they're going to have to rip and TEAR me away from the crown and I'm pumped to fight for it! Send home the next hooker already, I'm raring to go! And THAT'S all there is to it~! But who are you pointing at? -Kelsey V Mikaelson #TeamIBelieveInYall #TeamBEES #RIPColin #RIPWilla

Bryan

VL DR: YA BOY SLAYED THIS DAMN MAZE! "Hard AF maze" YEA RIGHT

**Malam loses immunity again**

Bryan

JKNFCDBEJLWBFCHJLBWEHJCLBHWJBC I GOT FIRST PLACE AND THEY BOTH GOT LAST!! THIS IS SOO DAMN FRUSTRATING!!! but i dont want to vote out Christian or trixie. Christian has been loyal to me. and trixie is so nice. i have my idol and i want to use it but i also dont. im afraid trixie might flip christian on me. and thats scary. 

Zach

kisses we safe xx kay now i'm expecting trixie to idol, considering i think bryan/christian are friends. whom will she vote? idk?

later...

I kind of feel really good on my tribe. I do want merge though cause I think it may get more interesting. It's kind of bitter sweet because A) It's SUPER boring tribal wise rn, but that's because of B) my ass ain't going to tribal - and i wanna keep it like that!

QuilLynn

We won immunity (well second place but w/e we’re safe!) that means we’ve probably made it to merge which I’m super excited about! We still have Liana, but her joining up with chips might make her and more importantly chips easy targets. I like them both but see 0% chance of us working together in this game at this point so they’ll definetly be the first people that i’ll be wanting to take a shot at. 

Bryan

Ok so. Christian thinks I’m voting trixie. And trixie thinks I’m voting Christian. Or there is this epic blindside coming. But I’m leaning more towards keeping trixie. I can def count on Christian to be a loyal goat but I know trixie has the skill to be able to make big moves with me.

Bryce

Um liana ditching last second was scary but we won so im happy. Malam keeps losing so its awk LOL. But im happy me and quil are safe with nicholas

Liana

Haha, Malam sucks. Enjoy tribal!

Christian

I'm pretty sure I'm gone tonight lol. There's not much to say, considering there's only three of us left on our tribe. Everything is just open I guess. 

Bryan

VL DR: Trixie is such a troll. I was wondering why she never goes on video chat. But i know now. She is one of the trolls from that shitty animated movie so called trolls. 

**Christian is voted out and round 9 begins!**

[spilling-thoughts-blog1]

a collection of my honest (yet irrelevant) thoughts. | wednesday 8/30/2017 |

current adventure: college. 

I feel stupid sitting on a bench on campus writing a post to (possibly) nobody; but after 3 classes (with another one today) spanning these first three days of college, I feel like I need to write it out. crying can only relieve so much in all honesty. so emo, my apologies. 

classes started Monday, 8/28/30 and from the moment I woke up on Sunday, I've felt so empty and drained despite only taking two hour-and-twenty-minute long classes. Monday was okay. Class let out 30 minutes early, and since it was my only class of the day I walked a few blocks down to Girlfriend’s campus. Her school is insanely nice, just my style. Very industrial, modern, and taken care of. A drastic difference to my school. 

Its dirty and old (not a cute-worn though, it just looks like it hasnt been taken care of) and the kids are crusty bums. Granted, Girlfriend’s school has weirdos, lots of them, but theres a sense of safety because you know they won't try to shank you if you bump them! I don't have that luxury here. Her school is a private art school, mine is just the local community college. gotta save those dollars.

Anyways. On Monday I sat on a bench (at Girlfriend’s school,) similar to this one, but I had the grass next to me instead of the dirt and sticks here and a young guy was cutting the lawn and it was quiet (aside from the lawnmower) and pretty and I felt like I was at home. The guy was nice, he felt bad asking me to move for a second so he could cut the grass next to me. If I was at my school I bet they would have just mowed right over my folders. Girlfriend got out of class after about an hour of me sitting on her campus and I got to see her for a few minutes, really the only other time I’ve seen her aside from the 20 minute car ride to school (which is two days a week keep in mind.) 

We used to hang out everyday. Senior year was the best because I got to see her during practically every period (1st, 2nd, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th actually... that is a lot lol) and then we would hang out after school. Perk of your girlfriend not driving- you have an excuse to see her more often; she has to run errands, she needs a ride home, she needs a ride to, etc etc. 

The smell of funnel cake keeps distracting me. I don't think theres any funnel cake, it just smells fried and sweet because the cafeteria is behind me and I'm getting hungry for the first time this week.

Not seeing her is one of the shittiest parts of college so far. I really miss her. Her classes are super long, each one at least 2 hours long I believe, and even though our schools are less than a 10 minute walk from each other, I can't see her because when she gets out of class, I'm just going into class. I also hate not seeing any familiar faces. Yeah, you have to make friends blah blah blah, but its a shock going from my nice high school with students I’d gone to school with since middle school; some even elementary school to this. sounds privileged, in know... I don't know why it keeps surprising me as well seeing full on adults walking into classes. Good for them though. 

My next class starts in 40 minutes (at 11:00 and its 10:17) but I’ll probably head up in a few. It’s a 2 hour and 50 minute class and I didn't bring any of the 6 books we have to read because I already had my two English books and I didn't want to lug 8 novels around in my backpack, especially since we haven't needed any of our books on the first day. But then again, its a 3 hour class and I doubt we’ll get out that early. 

Ew it smells like kerosene... not my favorite smell by far. They're setting up lame tables and tents and “Week of Welcome” activities. Will I participate? no. Am I the cause of my misery and tears thus far? Mostly. 

I read up on all of my professors I could find on “rate my professor” and this next one seems super fun. He has like, 4.4/5 review and apparently he's hot. everyone said his class is easy too which is a bonus. The reviews weren't too wrong about my Comp 2 professor, they didn't speak too highly of her. Right now I'm not a fan. She comes to class 5 minutes before it begins and seems very disorganized. I really don't like that. My Psych teacher is an absolute loon, but I feel like thats to be expected from a community college psychology professor. No offense if thats what you want to be, or if your favorite professor (or family member) is one. Just my honest thoughts. 

The sun came out, thats nice. Eases my anxiety a little bit when its nice out. 

Jesus Christ (pardon my language if it offends you) Chris brown just started blaring out of the welcome week speakers. they're trying to make this shitty cheap ass campus a party. no thank you. “now everybody put your hands in the air. yeah yeah yeah.” its lit. sense the sarcasm.

Hopefully this class will be better and when I get home (1:50 can't come soon enough) the feeling of empty darkness inside of me that has lingered for the past 3 days will subside a little bit. I won't get my hopes up. I should start a tear jar, a warning to seniors.

WHEN I SAY I WANT TO SEE FAMILIAR FACES I DONT MEAN THE CRUSTY MEAN FUCKBOYS I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH. I WANT TO SEE MY FRIENDS; OH WAIT, THEYRE ALL OVER ACHIEVERS AND NICE KIDS AND ARE AWAY AT SCHOOLS LIVING FUN LIVES AND BEING HAPPY, OR AT PRIVATE SCHOOLS RIGHT DOWN THE STREET BUSY DOING AMAZING ART. now its glamorous. good thing Fergie spells G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S because I don't think half of these kids can.

its been a while, its almost 5:30 now. my 3 hour class was boring as hell. he is not hot, nor young and he was 5 minutes late to class. you can hear him suck back his snot every few minutes and choke on it a little. but his class will be easy so thats great. I'm just questioning whether I need it or not. 

I haven't cried yet today, we’ll see how I feel later though. I miss Girlfriend. She’ll be home soon but I’ll bet you she’ll have to eat dinner as soon as she gets home, and then she’ll start her homework. nobody disrupts her art, not even me so I'll get to talk to her before bed for a few before I pass out at 10:00. It sucks because I was supposed to see Her Friday after my morning class ends, because she doesn't have class but then my new manager asked if I could come in. so instead of finally spending a day with her I'll be getting trained. my old manager is starting at the new store which is why I'm coming with him, but he has to get trained first, so really, its like starting a new job completely. I don't know why I decided it would be a good idea to switch jobs the first week of school. granted, there was no way in hell I would have stayed at my old job. I just should have waited until this first God awful week was over. but thats just my luck. 

Im always so tired now. I say always like its been a few weeks of school when really its been 4 days. mom asked if I wanted to go on a walk with the family, and of course I said no. “it’ll be good for your mental health” ahh I see, she can see me slowly slipping downhill again and wants to prevent it. well, I don't think a walk is going to make me feel much better about the fact that my school is dirty and the hallway I was in for my last class smelled horrible, which obviously worsened my mood, and the added fact that I'm starting a new job this week and don't know what I should wear. oh, and the other fact that I don't get to see my girlfriend anymore already and its only been 4 days. 

I had a bad feeling when She had her orientation and made her schedule. I new going to different schools would be horrible, but I didn't realize it would be like this. she's actually having fun and enjoying herself and making a few friends, and then theres me and I'm miserable and still have yet to speak to anyone really and she can't text in class when I'm out of class and I can't text in class when she's out. so thats great. I'm just waiting for the day she says someones flirting with her and she doesn't hate it. perks of dating a poly. I can't say no and deny her, especially when I'm not doing anything for her, or even seeing her, when someone else sees her almost every day. here come the watery eyes. plus, those kids are so much like her, they share her biggest passion. She always says she could never date someone who does what she does because it would be too much competition, but I feel like she's going to meet a photographer or videographer and it’ll be different enough to not impede on her talent, but it'll be similar enough that it’s great conversation and bonding. I'm just a jealous girlfriend, and college for us is looking to be the way I thought it would.

so, a summery for my future self who doesn't want to listen to this pity party:

Wednesday august 30, 2017. college sucks, I cry everyday, I hate my cheap dirty school and lame ass professors, I hardly see Girlfriend already, her experience is going great and I’m stressed af about starting a new job. countdown to the end of the semester-  74 days, 15 weeks, roughly 3.75 months, aka, too long to keep doing this shit.