#im normal. im a normal human adult and i don’t care they deserve it

[blossoms-phan]

glad everyone had a good day or whatever guessing by the dry dash mine was chill too but imma need y’all to clock in in between whatever your boxing day rituals are

[missmeinyourbones]

hi friends! ranting below the cut so a big fat TRIGGER WARNING for mentions of mental health, anxiety, depression, etc! (do not feel ANY pressure to read!!!! just me being annoying, will delete later)

i feel like i haven’t been on here much recently which is very sad and im sorry if my content has been sucking lately :( i am going through a very hard time mentally and feel a lot of my bad tendencies on the brink of relapsing and falling into old habits which is a very scary thing. im having an extremely hard time with myself and my thoughts and transitioning into being a working adult who is expected to function like a normal human. i feel like im regressing and losing a lot of progress which is super disheartening and making me be really mean to myself

i think im just going through a phase where being alive is extremely hard rn, so i just need to remind myself that ive felt this way before and ive gotten through it every single time so this one is no different. but pls don’t worry about me i am safe and being on here really helps distract me & make me happy when it comes to reading works and interacting w you guys. i guess i just wanna apologize for slacking recently

i truly love you guys more than i could ever put into words and the support you give me helps me in ways you’d never know. if anybody actually reads this, i hope you know that you are more loved than you think. you’re a lot stronger than you know and you matter to more people than you realize. i care about your existence and i hope you all take proper care of yourselves. you deserve good things and i am sending you as much love as i can muster

[dianapana]

SH Day 2: Fashion Statement

Modern AU, OOC

@sasuhinamonth

Bullies exist everywhere you look, in school, at work, on the street and most of all, on the internet. Countless bullies hide behind the anonymity the internet provides them in order to bring down strangers for no apparent reason. But there is always a reason, jealousy, an inferiority complex, a superiority complex, or plain and simple the bully is a pile of trash and no one should call it a human being. One of the worst things one can do when being active on social media is read the comments, because no matter how many positive comments there are, one bad comment outweighs them all. Scrolling through my Instagram I see the perfect example of this issue. Hinata is barely an acquaintance, I have not seen her since middle school almost a decade ago, she’s not active on any social media, or at least she wasn’t until today. The picture in front of me brings back all of my past thoughts of her, how pretty her face looked, how refreshing and pleasant her lower voice tone was; out of most people I was aware of at the time, she was one of the least annoying. The only thing that bothered me at times was her meek demeanour, how easy she’s fold under the pressure of bullies; and it would appear that she had not changed in that particular category.

The picture was there, I liked it, I looked through the comments, I saw all the negative ones, I saw them misgendering her due to her short hair and baggy clothes, I saw them calling her names; and then there was nothing, because the picture no longer existed. Much like in school, the bully applied pressure on her, and she caved in on herself and chose to hide.

I wish I had taken a screenshot of the picture to post myself, but that would have been an invasion of privacy. She looked older and more mature, her hair was much shorter than in middle school, almost a buzz cut. She had always worn baggy clothes, but her style developed to streetwear, all in all, the picture was, in my opinion, a work of art. But as soon as it appeared, it disappeared. I can’t explain why it bothers me this much the fact that she took it down, but it just does.

I hate all the entitled fucks that think people own them anything. Females do not own them femininity, males don’t own them masculinity and gender non-conforming people don’t own them an androgynous appearance. Gender and fashion style are different issues, they can reflect each other or not. People use clothes for various reasons, as art, as means of expression, or they use them to hide. We talked about this during one of my courses in gender studies in university and it fucked with my brain how many people, young people that are supposably ‘woke’ heard that for the first time. I was shocked how many were unaware of things that I consider common sense.

I have the urge to reach out, assure her that the shit those incompetent fucks commented is the furthest thing from fact. Maybe I also feel guilt, because I was aware she was bullied in school and never helped, my apathy always made me so sure that it had nothing to do with me. It wasn’t my issue to fix, it wasn’t my battle to fight, and this isn’t either; but I’ve also learned to understand that being quiet might not be as hurtful as actively attacking the person, but it’s damn near close enough. So, I click on her blank profile and shoot her a short message. ‘the pic looked nice. U didn’t have to delete it just cuz some ppl don’t know what style is’

It was partly to comfort her, and partly to prove to myself that I’ve become better even in the slightest. I press the lock button on my phone and the screen turns black, I put it screen down on my bed and leave the room trying to fool myself and the universe that I don’t care if she replies or not.

I return to my work desk, continuing this charade, I am actively trying to not think about it, but the more I try not to think about it, the more I think about it. There is something about a 24-year-old Hinata looking the way she does, yet listening to haters, that just doesn’t sit well with me. I’m still in deep thought about the issue when my laptop dings, letting me know I received an email. I half expect it to be Hinata, but it’s work-related and my focus turns to that for the time being. Work keeps me busy for the remaining of the day, enough to push the whole issue out of my mind for real. In a blink of an eye over 9 hours have passed.

I wasn’t able to fully finish everything I wanted, due to some issues but I have to call it a day, since I worked overtime quite a lot. I go back to my bedroom and pick up my phone ready to order some delivery for the night when I see that Hinata responded.

“That was very thoughtful of you, thank you for the kind message.”

“I agree that I shouldn’t let myself be brought down, but it’s devastating in the moment.”

“I’ll try again.”

Her last message makes me click back on her profile to see that she reposted the picture with the caption saying ‘fuck you’. A sense of pride flows into my body, and I can’t fight the urge to comment as well, ‘fuck them all’. I go back to our little chat.

“Im glad u decided to post it again.”

I’m trying to formulate a compliment that doesn’t sound weird, I don’t feel like we are close enough for me to call her beautiful or pretty without it sounding like I am flirting, stunning sounds extreme, sexy and hot feel somewhat disgusting; yet all these five adjectives describe her, because she is beautiful, pretty, stunning, hot and sexy. I’m in the midst of this internal battle when I receive a reply.

“I am too. Thank you again”

I don’t feel like I deserve thanks, so I decide not to write back ‘you are welcome’, but I still want to compliment her so I click back to look at the picture, seeing whether having the picture in front of me will help. I’m lowkey annoyed when I get a notification that I have a new message from her, I am hell bound on finding a compliment and she is hell bound on stopping me. Either way, I click on the message, but upon reading it, my annoyance dies.

“I’m actually in Konoha for the first time in forever. I was thinking…if you maybe want to meet up? I’m here for a month, let me know if and when is a good time for you 😊”

Under normal circumstances, an invitation to ‘hang out’ from any former classmate be it elementary, middle or high school would annoy me further and I’d turn it down immediately. But for some reason, the idea of meeting Hinata after so many years, seeing what she is up to, interacting with her now as adults, makes me oddly enthusiastic. I reply before I can overthink the issue.

“Sure, we can meet, I’m free every Wednesday and throughout the weekend.”

Her reply is almost instant. “That’s perfect! See you Saturday” Reading her message makes me forget what day it is, so I have to look at my phone’s calendar; Saturday is the day after tomorrow, in less than 48hs I will see Hinata. My feelings are conflicted, they lay somewhere between nervousness, which is new, and giddiness, which is even newer. In order to calm myself, I do what I always do, set a goal. By Saturday I’ll have an appropriate compliment for the picture and her, it will have more impact if I say it face-to-face anyway, yes that’s the reason I want to see her, so I can feel as if I completed this little mission of mine, no other reason…

[pangolin-404]

You Know The Drill By Now: the property of hate chapters 5 and 6 laying-in-my-own-thoughts time

“Ideas are immoral” is the funniest sentence. My train of thought went “Hero’s going to show him a new point of view and prove him wrong” to “oh that dog is going to cause harm” real quick because that does not look healthy

meta but. love how the artist draws them, the style is so so good. the ruffle of Hero’s coat, the way they draw RGB, how scrunged and scringly the idea is, the shading and shapes and colors in general, it’s great

while that was a good plan and I do find it a little funny how tv adverts made the idea wither away like a sad dying flower I don’t think RGB is very pleased about getting conked out like that

ok so. I can see where the butterfly is coming from; Hero IS being ordered around and dragged around by RGB, but RGB knows what he’s doing and as much as I dislike this argument, is the adult in the situation, but I can see how planting that seed of annoyance can make Hero unwilling to listen to him, because she’s the hero after all, shouldn’t she have a say in things? RGB withhold information from her is not the smartest move

“You can’t.” HUH? RGB YOU CAN’T LEAVE IT AT THAT?? MY MAN ELABORATE? the look on Hero’s face. man

THE DOUBTS POPPING UP. OOUOUOGHG OW. I can’t tell if he’s being as whimsical and vague as ever or if he’s genuinely trying to go into more detail but the way the world words just isn’t making it easy. He’s pressing the whole fate thing on Hero, insisting she can’t be herself because she agreed to being the hero. SHE CAN’T REMEMBER HER NAME. MAN. RGB I’M GOING TO DRAIN YOU UNTIL YOU LOOK LIKE A SAD MIME. Heroooooo nooo don’t cry >:(

I wonder how many times RGB’s done this. How many times he’s explained, eventually asked, watched people realize they don’t remember their names. I wonder how impatient he. How tired he is of the same song and dance. are his failed attempts people who died? what the hell are you doing man?

nice abstract art looming ominously above you there sure hope that’s fine and normal

loooore. LOOOOOORRREE! RGB experiencing doubts of his own. what IS your goal here sir. better run back and scoop up that child because that’s YOUR kid now buddy

-squints- what the hell kind of mystery flesh pit nightmare am I looking a- THAT’S HERO CHRIST MAN DIG HER OUT SHE’S GETTING EATEN ALIVE

“Not like I wanted this job in the first place.” Then why are you doing it. is someone making you do this. seems like everyone you’ve met thus far doesn’t think what you’re doing is the most important thing ever. why. did you get attached. admit you got attached

If lies and doubts seem to be born from people’s emotions, then I wonder if Hero is scared of RGB, or of what’s happening? I wonder when he’ll realize that, or if he already has.

I wonder if humans are the main draw from which these things pop out of or if everyone in this world is mellow as hell

took me a moment to realize the Grief was crying over RGB. and then I remembered he fears water. someone put him in a bag of rice :(

👁👄👁 hey bro what the hell was that why did rgb lose it and turn black and white mom pick me up im scared. where did he get a scythe. sir you are traumatizing both me and the child 🅱lease cease and desist 

don’t know WHAT just happened but. sure. RGB deserves to black out after that

the flowers in this chapter have symbolism I can feel it. whatever grew around he and Hero

did Hero’s coat turn into a mass of doubt because if so that’s messed up but also her dropping it is probably some fancy meaning about her regaining some level of trust in RGB because he sort of saved her. she’s worried about him! she’s stickin by his side!

static heartbeat RGB static heartbeat RGB static heartbeat RGB st

AAWWW SHE TRIED DOING HIS SNAP TRICK TO GET THE CANE. HERO I CARE FOR YOU DEEPLY

girl you call that a tree i call that the damn circus clown chymus don’t touch that you’ll catch a disease

l-loooooree (slightly more distressed this time) ! I love their dynamic so much. RGB has SECRETS. Hero needs to sit down and have something fully explained to her for once she deserves so many explanations about what’s going on. girl’s being put through so much

[drivingsideways]

k-drama rec list

Prior to 2020 I’d maybe watched 2 k-dramas in my entire life, but this year I got sucked in, thanks to some great recs, and y’know, *gestures * everything.  

I think I’d held off watching kdramas because my impression of them was limited to romances that I didn’t enjoy at all. But this was the year I discovered the equivalent of “gen fic” kdrama- dramas that had wonderful ensemble casts, strong story lines that weren’t entirely romance focused and also a variety in terms of themes and styles. A big plus was that I found so many of these dramas had women leading the writers’ room, and seeing the effect of that in the story telling. (Notable exceptions: a certain “star” writer who should please stop inflicting her badly written, formulaic crap on the world, yes Kim Eun-Sook, I mean you, and whoever wrote that trashfire Flower of Evil)

So here I am with my own rec list! Caveat- these are mostly not the dramas released in 2020, I’m still playing catch up! :)

Under the cut for length

My Mister/ My Ahjussi  (2018, Written by Park Hae-Young, Directed by Kim Won-Seok, starring Lee Sun-kyun and Lee Ji-eun aka IU) 

This was definitely my absolute favourite of the shows I watched this year across western/ asian media. It’s a story about the thread that binds us all and the ineffability of human connection. It’s also a story that deconstructs ideas of masculinity and honour and shame in a non-western context, but with an extremely compassionate touch.  It’s a story that doesn’t shy away from showing the consequences of material and spiritual poverty; and how one can so easily feed into the other. It’s a love story that isn’t a romance, except that it’s a Romance. It’s about finding salvation in one another and in the kindness of strangers.  It’s about choosing life, and picking yourself up off the floor to take that one last step and then the next and then the next. The one quibble I have with the series is that it could have been better paced, it does get extremely slow after the half way mark. But god, do they land the ending. Both Lee Sun-kyun and IU turn in absolutely heartbreaking performances, and fair warning, be prepared to go through an entire box of tissues watching this series. 

Life  (2018,  written by Lee Soo-yeon  and directed by Hong Jong-chan, starring Lee Dong-wook, Cho Seung-woo, Won Jin-ah, Lee Kyu-hyung, Yoo Jae-myung and Moon So-ri.)

Medical dramas are very much not my thing, and I wouldn’t have taken a chance on it except that @michyeosseo said I should, and she was right! It’s a medical drama in the sense that it’s set in a hospital, but rather than a “case-fic” format, this is actually a sharp commentary on the corporatization of health care, and the business of mixing, well, money and what should be a fundamental human right. Writer Lee Soo-yeon was coming off the global success of Stranger/Secret Forest S1 when this aired, so I understand that expectations were probably sky-high, and people were disappointed when this show didn’t give them the adrenaline rush that they wanted. On the other hand, I thought that this outing was really much more nuanced in terms of the politics and also how the ending doesn’t allow you the luxury of easy-fixes. This show has a great ensemble cast, and while it took me a while to get used to Lee Dong-wook’s woodenness (i ended up calling him mr.cadaver after watching this and was surprised to learn that he’s very popular?), in the end I was quite sold on his version of angry angst-bucket elder-sibling Dr.Ye Jin-woo. His best scenes were with Lee Kyu-hyung who turns in a lovely, achy performance as the paraplegic Dr. Ye Seon-woo who just wants to live a normal life. The love story between the two brothers is actually the emotional backbone of the story, and I think they landed that perfectly. 

My one quibble with writer-nim is that she ended up writing in a forgettable and somewhat (for me at least) uncomfortable romance between the characters played by Won Jin-ah and Cho Seung-Woo. I think part of my uncomfortable-feeling was that I got the strong sense that the writer herself didn’t want to write this romance, it was as if she was being made to shoe-horn it in for Studio Reasons, and she basically grit her teeth and did the worst possible job of it.  I do wish we could have absolutely had the OT3 of my dreams: Moon So-ri/Cho Seung-woo/Yoo Jae-myung like, c’mon TV gods MAKE IT HAPPEN, just...look at them!!!! 

Anyway, that apart, I think this was a very engaging series, and by engaging, I also mean thirst-enabling, see below. 

 Stranger (aka Secret Forest  or Forest of Secrets) S1 & 2 : (2017-, Written by Lee Soo-yeon, directed by 

2017′s smash hit aired a much anticipated second season in 2020, and I managed to catch up just in time to watch that live, so that was thrilling :D . Writer Lee Soo-yeon  mixes up thriller/office comedy/political commentary in an ambitious series. I think S1 is more “exciting” than S2 in terms of the mystery and pacing,  but S2 is far more dense and interesting in terms of political commentary because it takes a long hard look at institutional corruption and in true writer-nim fashion doesn’t prescribe any easy solutions. Anyway, please enjoy public prosecutor Cho Seung-woo and police officer Bae Doona as partners/soulmates kicking ass and taking names in pursuit of Truth, Justice and just a goddamn peaceful meal, along with a stunningly competent ensemble cast. Also yes, Han Yeo Jin is a lesbian, sorry, I don’t make the rules. 

Search: WWW  (2019, Written by Kwon Do-Eun, directed by Jung Ji-hyun & Kwon Young-il, starring  Im Soo-jung, Lee Da-hee, Jeon Hye-jin)

GOD. Where do I start? +1000 for writer Kwon Do-Eun saying “fuck the patriarchy” in the most grandiose way possible, i.e. absolutely refusing to acknowledge that it exists. Yes, this is that power fantasy, and it’s also a fun, slice-of-life  tale about three women navigating their way through work, romance, national politics and everything in between. It’s true that I wasn’t entirely sold on the amount of time spent on the romance, and I really wish they’d actually had a textual wlw romance, though the subtext through the entire series is PRACTICALLY TEXT. But still, it maintains that veneer of plausible deniability and I think queer fans who are sick of that kind of treatment in media have a very valid grouse against the show. On the other hand, personally I felt that the queer-platonic vibe of the show is very wonderful and true to real life, and it was only reinforced by the ending. This is a show written by a woman for women (like me), and it shows. 

Hyena  (2020, Written by Kim Roo-Ri, directed by Jang Tae-yoo & Lee Chang Woo, starring  Kim Hye-soo and Ju Ji-hoon )

Those of you who’ve been watching hit zombie epic Kingdom are probably familiar with Ju Ji-hoon’s brand of sexiness already. I had not watched Kingdom and got hit in the face by Mr.Sexy McSexyPants’ turn as a brash, privileged-by-birth, up and coming lawyer who gets completely runover by the smoking hot and incredibly dangerous fellow lawyer/competitor from the other side of the tracks in the person of Kim Hye-Soo. When I say they set the room on fire, I mean it, ok. Every single scene between these two is an actual bonfire of sexual attraction and emotional hand grenades, and they’re both absolutely riveting to watch. “Flower of Evil” wishes they had what this show has- an actual grown up romance as opposed to a thirteen year old twilight fan’s idea of an adult romance. 

The “lawyer” shenanigans and the “cases” are hit or miss, and I think the occasional comedy fell flat for me. But that’s not why I mainlined like 6 episodes of this series overnight like a coke addict, and that’s not why you’re going to do it either. It’s so RARE, even in these enlightened days to find a female character like Jung Geum-ja: hard as nails, unapologetic about it, and not punished by the narrative for it. The best part for me is that she feels like a woman’s woman, not a man’s idea of what a Strong Female Character should be. Anyways, when I grow up I want to have what Kim Hye-soo has ok?

Other dramas that I watched this year, quickly rated:

The King: Eternal Monarch (3/10 and those 3 points are only for the combined goodness of second leads who deserved better- Jung Eun Chae, Woo Do Hwan and Kim Kyung Nam. Please head over to my AO3 and read my attempts to fix this garbage fire and rescue their characters from canon)

Flower of Evil (-10/100, dont @ me)

Tale of the Nine Tailed (5/10, I think it succeeds at what it set out to do, which is a light hearted, sweet fantasy-romance-melodrama, plus “second lead” Kim Beom will make you cry as the hot mess of a half human/ half fox spirit ALL TEARS character. I think if you’re into kdrama romances as a genre, this is probably a good bet?)

Signal  (7/10,  This was the first full kdrama I watched this year and would definitely recommend. It’s a police procedural with time travel shenanigans and has an engaging plot, good pacing, texture and compelling performances. My one disappointment with it was the way they wrote Kim Hye-soo’s character. As literally the only female character to survive in any way, she was given short shrift, and toward the end it really began to grate on me.)

Six Flying Dragons - (7/10, also would recommend if you’re interested in Korean historicals. It definitely already feels a bit dated in terms of styling and production values, and even scripting and acting choices. But it has a good balance of fantasy and history and political commentary. I was not a fan of Yoo In-Ah’s performance in this series, but it’s not anything that would make you want to nope out of the series. It’s GoT , if GoT was thoughtful about politics and characters and not the misogynist, racist trashfire that it became.)

My Country: The New Age - (3.5/10, and that’s 3 points to Jang Hyuk’s fan and 0.5.points to Woo Do Hwan’s heaving bosom. If you like your historical drama/fantasy with very pretty men, very gay subtext -seriously RIP to show makers who thought they could hetero it but didn’t account for Woo Do Hwan’s Tragic Face- lots of blood and tears and very nonsense plot, this is right up your alley. I probably would have enjoyed it more in other circumstances, I think? But this one just annoyed me too much at the time! 

I have a couple of more dramas to watch on my list, that’ll probably carry me over into 2021, so see ya on the other side! :D

[adultswim2021]

Penguins Behind Bars | July 20, 2003 - 11:00PM | Special

Well, fuck me, I'm covering Penguins Behind Bars, aren't I?

In the past I didn't consider this to be a true Adult Swim original, and I forget why exactly I came to that conclusion. It may have been because for a time this was impossible to find. Now it's just up there on Adult Swim's website and app, ready to be watch by all those who are morbidly curious enough to check it out. It's a National Film Board of Canada co-production, which might be another reason I considered this to belong to a different canon. But a little more research reveals that this short is owned by Cartoon Network and it's current presence on the Adult Swim app seems to support this. So I guess this is, indeed, an Adult Swim original. I coulda sworn this played at animation festivals and was merely acquired by Adult Swim for a one-time showing, but I guess this was a bonafide attempt at piloting a series and this is still currently their property.

Penguins Behind Bars is a fairly straight-forward women-in-prison story with penguins instead of human women, making it so you can't beat off to it. The humor is pretty light and the tone is cute. It's fairly adult, but it's nothing that you couldn't get away with airing on normal Cartoon Network in prime-time. It's not exactly Ilsa The Wicked Warden. It just feels like a Canadian cartoon. In fact, I'd say the defining characteristic of Penguins Behind Bars is Canadian.

The director, Janet Perlman, based this on her graphic novel of the same name, originally published in 1989. She directed another penguin short in 1981, called The Tender Tale of Cindrella Penguin. It's shorter, more kid-friendly, and dialogue-free, and is basically just a retelling of Cindrella but with penguins. It is also cute. As I understand she has a pretty respectable career in animation and children's books. Good for her!

The main problem with this pilot is that it's boring. It's mostly just penguin-related puns and visual gags. The plot is played fairly straight. I struggle to imagine a genuine audience for this. Not juvenile enough to satisfy kids, teens or (let's face it) your typical Adult Swim viewer, not sophisticated enough to amuse high-minded adults. It's a strange mixture of concepts all around. I've never in my life encountered anyone seeking this out except out of some kind of completist duty on the part of Adult Swim or adult animation fanatics.

Speaking of seeking, for years this was considered "lost media" as a broadcast recording of this short was not known to have survived (I probably had one somewhere, not to brag). Eventually one turned up in 2017 and a copy was uploaded to the internet. Cartoon Network apparently took notice, had the upload pulled, and put up their own copy themselves on Adult Swim's website. I have a distaste for when TV networks protectively pull fan-supplied copies of rare TV shows or even commercials they have no intention of making available themselves, so this is about as happy an ending for Penguins Behind Bars as it deserves.

MAIL BAG

I have this vague memory of seeing something on adult swim of a woman holding her arms out (Katherine Hahn maybe?) and to a hip hop beat going: ♫I'm a lesbian/ I do what *I* want♫ Do you remember what this was. It's vague memory is ruining my spiritual life.

Oh WOW. This sounds like something that would air on Spike TV, frankly. It sounds like you’re talking about a live-action thing, but could it have been Gary the Rat? They had an exquisite animation style that could easily be misremembered as live-action. The phrase “uncanny valley” gets tossed around a lot in animation circles, but, 

If Adult Swim teamed up with your favorite fast food burger joint to make an "adult" style happy meal what kind of Toys would you like to see.

I would very much appreciate a line of Happy Meal toys that are Looney Tunes but Censored 11 themed. I know this doesn’t answer your question. To answer your question actually I would also very much appreciate a line of Assy McGee toys

im assuming all the mean/trolling e-mail you get are from your friends. do you ever wonder if they are really your friends since they have nothing better to do than anonymously harass your blog?

No I wonder about better stuff like what if they remade the spice girls but they are all naked

Any thoughts on Mike Richards becoming the new Jeopardy host? And no it's not Kramer so I'm gonna cut you off on the pass there.

I don’t know who that is, I don’t know who Kramer is, I don’t know who YOU are. This is a three strikes your out kind of sitch here. YOUR OWT

Tuca and Bertie is coming back for a 3rd season on [AS], what is your immediate reaction. If it's "I haven't seen the show" then make something up. Lie. I don't care.

I love bird movies and I eagerly await watching these ones! I love to freak to the beak. Episode 1 binge watch coming up :D

[goldenhrt]

extremely selective && private Claude / Khalid Von Riegan written by Khepri ( 25 / they - he ) Created March 2020 / Moved Sept. 2020 VERY slow activity 

CAN BE FOUND @ : Twilight Princess Link - Skyward Sword Link - Discord 

i may refuse the right to service / interaction with anybody who has not followed simple rp etiquette, has not acknowledged my rules, or has not liked this pinned post. 

please LIKE this post if you understand the terms & conditions of following me.  

more info below.

I HAVE A CALLOUT ON ME!

located with OUT OF CONTEXT screenshots HERE.

I am quite tired of explaining it to multiple people over and over again. This is me basically letting you know quite up front that I have this. I’m not hiding it. It’s right there.

i have this here is because people have been still CONSISTENTLY TRYING TO GATEKEEP ME and I am sick and tired of it.

HERE is the full conversation with Howl.

You can ask for the Discord DMs that I have gotten, I am not publicly posting those as they contain sensitive information about other people and is considered doxxing if I post those.

UPDATE: we currently have somebody who basically shuts down this entire callout down because there the OP basically cancelled themselves out when they admit they did not talk to me.

THINGS TO NOTE:

> The callout maker admits this: they do not talk to me or ask for clarification.  > I am not cis. I will claim whatever term i want in that regard. > I suffer from undiagnosed mental problems that run in the family. > I am an adult, I will treat you like an adult, but I will not like any aggression & block you. > I am not a cop. Read my rules on my main blog.

Another note: im not fucking neurotypical. the OP is being very ‘abelist’ in assuming that I am. 

Feel free to ask me for any clarification on anything.

I will not apologise to those who have personally sought out to slander me especially without talking to me first. I WILL apologise right now for posting this in a matter of basically showing it all as it does contain triggering information. The callout maker paraphrases pretty badly & puts words in my mouth.

Was I wrong for how I worded certain things? Absolutely. However nobody came to me to tell me they were personally offended. I cannot read minds. I am somebody with high anxiety and I also write a lot. I do quite apologise when given the chance to people who deserve it. I, however, do not apologise to everybody because I am out of the stage for always feeling guilty about every single thing I do.

ANY SHITTY MESSAGES WILL BE BLOCKED / DELETED!

HERE is the document that includes anything sent to me. Along with responses to many of them. TW: honestly, it’s pretty straight forward. Handle with care.

I block anybody who supports toxic positivity.

I welcome critical - thinkers. That’s it. I state my opinion when asked. I have never actively sought out somebodies destruction. 

honestly, if something I say offends you, please just approach me like a normal human being? it’s not that hard? its easier to rectify something if i know what upsets people. But you can do it in a mature fashion. That or, I don’t know, just block me? Not that difficult.

Anyway, If you made it to the end, I really do need you to LIKE THIS POST please. it just gives me confirmation that you HAVE indeed read it. I understand some people have anxiety as well. you can either DM me or notify me in other ways. But I refuse to interact with people if they have not like the post.

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : Quirkless Erasure

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: 

In some worlds, Midoriya Izuku is the first quirkless hero. But not in this one, not by far.

Because his homeroom teacher is the hero he's always looked up to: UA's first quirkless Pro Hero.

----

Izuku isn't the only quirkless one, and Aizawa gets into the hero course via emotional devastation against his opponents.

anyway so: quirkless aizawa bc i need that

everyone thinks he has a quirk like emotional manipulation of something but no he's just fucking savage, he gets into the hero course bc he blasted the absolute shit out of mic

everything’s on youtube it’s one of the most viewed videos of all time

this aizawa's eyes are permanently gold bc i headcanon it's his quirk that makes his eyes black, not the colour they flash

"you yell because you have a constant fear no one is really listening to you. you play the class clown and don't try too hard so when you look back you think "i failed because i didn't try" not "i failed because i wasn't good enough""

"bro,,, bro what the fuck did i do to you"

aizawa isn’t even salty he’s quirkless tbh

"you're pushing this on me because it hurts, right? your loud, flashy but damaging quirk means the only thing people think you're useful for is heroics. did you want to do this, or is this the only way society will let you feel comfortable in the role it presses in on you"

"well being quirkless is rough but at least i cn be whatever i want to be"

mics just shell shocked mics not even using his quirk and everyone’s just uwu he’s erasing mics quirk

all aizawa does is walk is close and mutter "society thinks im worthless, which is rough. but you have to put your life on the line or you're nothing better than a villain to the people"

and just, lightly pushes him out of bounds

pls mics just in Love this guy tore him to fucking pieces but Damn

aizawa  helps him up off the floor

"so im probably not wrong but im a little sorry for saying it on live tv"

mic "youre amazing"

aizawa just goes bright red and starts sputtering

aizawa: the emotional devastation hero weakness: genuine compliments

consider 1A teacher aizawa just still made of emotional devastation, nezu made him promise not to use his powers of destruction on his children unless he was expelling them 

this is a quirkless izuku au too, mirio got ofa, allmight encouraged izuku to be a hero after the fight but had no quirk to give him and he manages to make his own way into the hero course

so izuku is a little analyst, gets mostly hero points but uses sharp rebar and poles to smash in the sensors of some robots, getting him a few non-rescue points either. Aizawa is watching like "oh interesting a non-combat quirk" and beside him allmight is vibrating with excitement

"he might actually do it!"

"who might do what"

allmight turns sheepishly to aizawa

"young midoriya on camera 6, he might just be the first quirkless student to pass the enterance exam to heroics straight up"

and aizawa can hardly watch anyone else for the rest of the exam, he adopts this kid on the fucking Spot

hes on the edge of his fucking seat, when nezu sends out the zero pointer. "this kid only needs 10 more points, just ten more" and izuku turns around to look at the 0 pointer and aizawa is like "fuck kid i hope you know what youre doing"

he manages to shove a piece of rebar into the treads, stoping it in its place. it tries to swat him like a bug but he just dives out of the way, picks up ochako and sprints and aizawa is like "holy shit holy shit these bastards better give this kid hero points for that"

like they are assigning final hero points and aizawa has to awkwardly put his hand up "i,,, should probably be excluded from giving midoriya hero points because i went from 0 to bias very very quickly"

allmight just nods sagely

"young midoriya be like that sometimes"

pls aizawa tries to act extra tough bc he can’t let anyone know he’s Adopted this child

for all izuku's brain hes useless w social stuff and thinks aizawa hates him but everyone else k n o w s

also izuku is the only person in 1A who knows ab aizawa's "quirk" and hes like, constantly vibrating w glee around the guy

aizawa walks in the first day, hears bakugo asking how this "quirkless bastard" got in, grabs bakugo w his scarf and yeets him into vlad’s room

"ok students, looks like we are a class of 19. any other comments before we start?"

and like everyone is so lost no one questions it

bakugo is screaming bloody murder until vlad "kindly" tells him ua has a strict no discrimination policy and aizawa would have been well within his rights to expel him

please nezu is like "uwu take one of 1B to make the classes even" and vlad is like "no ive already bonded tough cookies" vlad just adopts bakugo instantly

monoma and bakugou become bros, the baku-squad is 50% a thing, but its mostly 1B students but with pinning kiri. kendo and bakugo both keep monoma in line, monoma and kendo keep bakugo in line

during the sports festival shinsou is like "you must have a blessed quirk to get into the hero course"

and izuku just has this "really. this si what we're doing now" look on his face. hes just gesturing to shinso in exasperation, trying to make eye contact w aizawa hidden up in the commentary box

all you can hear from the box is aizawa quiet snickering as mic tries not to give the game away. he yeets shinso out of bonds and just hauls him back to his feet

"im quirkless you nonce"

"oh,,,"

"yeah, oh. what, gonna be embarrassed a quirkless kid kicked your ass?"

"nah i just feel bad for being a dick"

"ok you are the only valid person ive ever met, come meet my not-dad"

"wait what"

izuku fireman carries shinso into the announcers booth and just presents him to aizawa

you can just vaguely hear "no not kid" "but he'll be perfect" "kid this is live ask me after the festival" "but! hed be perfect! and you could train him to carry on your legacy of soul-crushing burns" "... hmmm"

"do i get a say in this?" "no" "nope"

mic just loudly saying "SO BEFORE WE WITNESS A CHILD CRY LIVE ON AIR AGAIN, AS ALWAYS HAPPENS IN THIS FESTIVAL, LETS START THE NEXT ROUND!"

there’s a counter “days since someone last cried: 0”

please its like "times cried durring all sports festivals" "average cry events" "number of times cried this festival"

aizawa being even more of a dad than canon, like hes a mess he sees on sad kid and he's like "wow that's my kid now"

he makes them soup when they get sick and leaves it outside their doors, refuses to admit its him doing it

soup cryptid

please mic is like 100% in love with him and had been for years but aizawa still has internal bias against the quirkless and thinks he's not good enough for mic so he cant make himself see the flirting for what it really is

“haha he’s just being friendlyL

“aizawa i literally want to marry u”

“awww ur so nice u mean as friends tho right?”

in this au ive decided that quirkless heroes are a thing, but pretty rare, in japan they are all underground bc villains go after them a l o t. there are some public ones in america but they tend to,,, die,,, pretty quickly

and bc there are some quirkless heroes everyone acts like discrimination isn't a thing anymore and quirkless people should shut up while quirkless people are still getting killed and committing suicide at like 500% the rate of people with quirks

also the suicide rate is,,,,, significantly higher in japan but no one ever talks abt it bc japan the “ideal place for people with quirks” so that surely means nothing could ever go wrong

izuku does the "its your power" speech in like 3 parts, before, during and after the sports festival bc he needs he bones w no quirk

stain asks izuku what his quirk is and izuku does the "wouldn't you like to know, weather boy"

",,, where are your parents"

"one abandoned me straight up and the other is giving it a red hot go right now, try me coward"

izuku but everytime he roasts a villain he does it in vine quotes

tl;dr in the au inko is like,, not ok w izuku being a hero and she's trying to do the "leave the school or you can't live here any more" ultimatum and it's not working for her

bc izuku said "ok bye then" and now lives out of his backpack. no one knows. he just like,, sleeps on the train

and iida is like "owo could i come over to your house" and izuku is like

"aaaaa its on fire. yep. made of arsenic and always in flames, why dont we go to the park"

everyone in 1a is like betting on what his house is like. they harass katsuki in 1b but he refuses to talk

hes like "hell no i got thrown into another class for talking ab that nerd eat my left tit"

they only fucking work it out when aizawa and allmight go to izukus house to talk ab dorms and there is literally no one there

aizawa asks izuku ab it like "kid you need to update your forms with your current address" and hes like "oh worm, she moved? wack."

“u,,,,didn’t know,,,,”

“nah lmao i sleep on the bench in a park near here”

“my boy,,,,,l

"what, ochako lives alone!"

"yeah, in a fucking house, kid"

aizawas just: this is literal child abuse i’m ur guardian now

allmight "hes my kid too dont be greedy"

"fuck off all might you already have mirio" "and you already have shinsou!" nighteye, from around the corner "ill take him!" aizawa and allmight "NO"                                  

mic adopts him nezu just sitting in the distance "well, its my school. i get the kid" one whole school full of adult heroes "NO ITS MY SON,,," izukus like crying "wait,,, you guys aren't sick of me? wild" while sobbing

afo out of nowhere: i’ll take the child :))) everyone collectively: N O

for self-indulgence, izuku is the youngest in the class for this au so they all call him their little brother

consider: quirkless aizawa is very similar to normal aizawa but he does practise self-care, he just tries to make it look like he doesnt because hes like that

if i dont take care of myself ill never be able to stand up to the heroes w quirks but also do i deserve normal good human things

tl:dr: he can cook well and is trying to teach izuku that 2-minute noodles and apples arent hero fuel

inko is like: "uwu i wont change what i cook for you so you'll just have to make do owo" in like, a pathetic attempt to get him to stop training so izuku runs off protein bars, electrolyte drinks and raw vegetables

just like, his bento at school. its only raw mushrooms, spinach, tomatoes and 2 full carrots

the only time he gets like a kinda valid balanced meal for a hero in training is when he pops by bakugous place and mitsuki forces him to stay for lunch

izuku is like "oh hi bakugo i have ur book-" "HI ITS LUNCH GET IN PIPSQUEAK"

hes just thrown into a chair, bakugo isnt even confused. izuku is like ",,,, so vlad gave me your book bc your house is near mums." "fair enough. hope you like miso salmon"

izuku just looks stary eyed

"f i s h ??? warm food bakugo id kill for you"

"deku wtf"

"i had nothing but 3 scoops of protein powder and 2 tomatoes today"

“dEKU WHAT THE FUCK”

"i had to eat the protein podwer with plain water kacchan. protein sludge followed by two raw tomatoes. i would commit real actual murder for you"

mitsuki always packs an extra bento after that

so like when it’s dorm time izuku gets rly stressed out bc he doesn’t know how to cook for himself??? bakugous in the 1b dorms and even if he wasn’t he definitely wouldn’t cook for him

1a goes on a fucking shopping trip, chaperoned, obviously

and they’re lining up and aizawa sees that izukus cart is only filled with like??? instant noodles and like two (2) fruits and he’s losing his mind bc yes okay he’s a child but he’s also a young hero and he’s going to get a heart attack by 20 if he doesn’t fix his diet

aizawa is like "izuku, you cant eat that" and izuku just goes "oh ok" puts the noodles back and comes back with a tub of protein powder and like 11 vegetables and a bag of kale

okay this is an improvement kinda, how do u cook it

,,,,,c

cook?

izuku just has a totally blank face

"i was just gonna like,,, eat it"

"raw."

"uh, yeah, is that not how u eat vegetables?”

"thats a potato. and some leeks. thats a fucking onion"

"it wont kill me though"

"thats,,, that not how you pick food kid."

“but vegetable??? good????”

"kid do you even fucking like any of this"

"wait, im supposed to like?? my food???"

yagi in the fucking health food isle hearing this is 50% laughing but 50% crying

aizawa: “izuku ur supposed to eat a well balanced and tasty meal”

izuku: *surprized pikachu face*

please even todoroki is like ",,, at least fuyumi could c o o k"

oh god imagine having a worse diet than shouto todoroki from 1a who eats nothing but cold soba and drinks juice

also please aizawa is like "kid i thought you just happened to be thin but now im seeing thats not the case"

bakugo in the distance "like inko ever fed him enough anyway lmao"

aizawa "WAIT WHAT"

whys bakugou shopping with 1a? its actually all 40 of the first years just descending on this poor little store. it’s this little mom and pop grocery store and a billion hungry hero hopefuls just burst through the door like 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒏𝒖𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒔

izuku is like "oh its too expensive" and aizawa is just holding a bag of rice, aizawa is like "its cheaper than the protein powder you have"

and izuku is like "yeah i mean its empty calories and im not paying that much for empty calories"

",,,"

"thats what you taught us sensei!"

"EMPTY CALORIES ARE ONLY A PROBLEM IF UR EATING TOO MUCH"

"and?"

"YOU HAVE 3 POTAOES FOR THE NEXT 2 WEEKS"

"i can put some back if you want?"

"THATS EXACTLY WHAT I DONT WANT"

[fizzingwizard]

I enjoyed this piece of Kizuna art so much that it spawned a ficlet X’D

-

With Ramen, It’s Okay to Slurp

Daisuke slurped loudly. The ramen bowl clattered on the counter as he plonked it down. "Hey Takada! More noodles!"

Sitting next to him, Ken's expression didn't change, but his gaze dropped to the expanding puddle of broth that had sloshed over the rim of Daisuke's bowl. He moved his own bowl a safe distance to the side.

"What, you're finished?" Yamato turned toward them with an incredulous look. "We got served five minutes ago!"

Daisuke's eyes glittered. "Five?"

"Seven," Taichi corrected him after swallowing, then very rudely jabbed his chopsticks in Daisuke's direction. "It's not a new record. And look, I'm finished too." He held out his bowl with a smug grin.

"Oh." Dejected, Daisuke slumped forward with his chin on the counter.

Yamato paused. A hand came up and scrubbed his brow. "Tell me you two aren't in a race to see who can eat ramen faster."

"Have you met Taichi and Daisuke?" Ken pointed out.

"Do you intend to grow up at all, ever?"

Taichi flicked broth at him. "Don't be such a wet blanket. They appreciate the business, don't ya, chef?"

The man swirling noodles in a large pot crossed over and set his arms on either side of the counter. He frowned. "Motomiya. Just because you're an apprentice here doesn't mean you can make a mess of the place.”

"But it's my birthday!" Daisuke protested. "This is my only birthday bash of the year!"

Takada leaned forward. "And do ya wanna make it to the next one?"

"Sorry, Takada."

Takada tossed a towel at him. "Make yourself useful. Noodles'll be another minute."

"Then it's on!" Daisuke made a fist at Taichi, wearing his fight face. The effect was cut somewhat, as he cleaned up his spilt broth, making circular motions with the towel.

Yamato sighed. "What were we talking about?"

"I don't know," said Ken, who hadn't been listening. He'd been too distracted waiting for Daisuke to spill.

"Taichi?"

"I don't know either."

"Must have been dull if none of us can remember." Yamato reached for the chili flakes.

Taichi beat him to it. "Here, lemme help you with that."

"No. If I've told you once I've told you a hundred times. These things require a gentle hand -"

"You know what I hate? That extra noodles are free, but to get any more pork I'd need to order a new bowl."

"- don't ignore me - a level of finesse that you definitely don't have, Taichi, quit it! Are you trying to make me puke?"

While Yamato grappled with Taichi for dominance over the chili flakes, Taichi's chopsticks sneaked under his elbow to snag a slice of pork from Yamato's bowl.

Ken saw it all. He stayed silent. Silence was safety.

"Fine, whatever, teach me your ways, O master of chili flakes."

"I'm not like you, I don't burn off my taste buds eating the whole bowl while it’s still at the boiling point - where the hell is my pork!"

"Taichi nabbed it," Daisuke shouted. Given their tight quarters, the shouting was not strictly necessary.

"I'll kill you!"

"Now now, calm down, remember you're an adult!"

Yamato grabbed Taichi's wrist and tried to shake the slice of pork free. His other hand flew up to block Taichi's head from nose-diving into his bowl.

Ken watched the broth in their bowls ripple in morbid fascination.

"C'mon, you're not gonna finish this anyway!"

"Yes I am!"

"Your delicate stomach can't take it!"

"I'll show you delicate!"

"Get 'im! Go for the eyes!" Daisuke egged them on, still shouting.

Did Daisuke even know which of them he was cheering for? Ken wondered.

Yamato's bowl came dangerously close to raining on the floor. That was the last straw. With a deft move, Ken's arm shot out and steadied it.

"Guys, we're in a public place," he said, careful to keep his tone even and free of accusation. And people thought Daisuke was a troublemaker. Those people had never met these two. His lips tipped in a grin that was mainly a plea. If he worked the right angle, these animals might at least pretend to behave like humans.

Yamato had the grace to look a little abashed. Or maybe his face was just red with anger. "He started it. But we're done now. Because I am an adult." He snatched his beer and took a vengeful swallow.

Ken nodded. "Yes. Yes, you are," he said, as he watched Taichi steal the slice of pork back while Yamato drank and toss the whole thing in his mouth.

The beer glass came slamming down. "TAICHI!"

"They're gonna get banned," Daisuke snickered. It was a bit obvious that he was enjoying himself.

"And so are you," said Takada.

"Eh? Me? I didn't do anything!"

"You brought them here."

Ken sagely nibbled a strip of seaweed. "That makes you an accomplice."

"But I'm your favorite apprentice!"

"Yes, you are," Takada said with a fond look. "Ah, my favorite, banned apprentice. He oversalted everything, but his cooking chops weren't too shabby. Too bad his apprenticeship got cut short before he learned what goes in my secret stock."

"No!" Daisuke gasped. "I'll stop them! Just wait - wait a second!"

He threw himself between Taichi and Yamato. To be more accurate, he threw himself at them, pulling them both off their stools, landing in a heap of tangled limbs on the floor.

This was why, when Daisuke said he wanted to go out for ramen for his birthday, Ken had... strongly suggested going during off-peak hours. He gave himself a mental pat on the back for his forethought.

Takada watched them wrestle for a minute. He looked at Ken. "So you're the voice of reason, then."

Ken shrugged. "Don't know if I deserve it, but... for what it's worth."

Takada nodded, mopping his brow with a towel. "Your meal's on the house. Get that," he jabbed his thumb at the heap, "off my floor before I come back with the noodles. Or they can pay double."

"Will do."

There were some perks to being the only normal one in the group, Ken thought with a secret smile after they finally paid and left, Daisuke grumbling the whole way home about his boss hitting on his best friend. As they parted from Taichi and Yamato with the obligatory round of "happy birthday" and "don't go wild now that you're legal to drink," Ken couldn't help but think he'd got a very good deal, all things considered. Daisuke's mood, at least, was easy to pick up with promises of birthday cake once they got home. By the time they reached the front door of their shared apartment, he'd be happy as a clam.

They could still hear Taichi and Yamato arguing over whether Taichi owed Yamato money for eating his pork as they crossed the street.

[fairycosmos]

hi chloe idk if youll see this but i only have a year left until college and i live in an abusive household. no one understands me and my mom and dad especially don't. my older sister doesnt seem to hold the patience to listen to whenever i do try and call her once annually. i dont know how much longer i can hold on. it literally hurts my mind so much thinking about all of it, especially after abusive episodes from them. im scared to live alone but i just cant wait to

gosh im so sorry to hear that love :( while i’m proud of you for making it this far and for being able to talk about it with me, it’s really awful that you’ve had to deal with it for so long, and that it’s happening to you in the first place. especially during your adolescence, which is a time when we’re all super impressionable. a time when we all feel like nothing is ever going to change. and i can definitely relate to nobody even taking the time to understand you, and to feeling like you’re being overlooked or forgotten. when we experience something like this our brains often to try to make sense of the actions of those around us by turning towards self blame, and internalizing all the negativity + manipulating it into self hatred. but i think its important to remember that you are not responsible for what others do, in this context. how they choose to treat you is not a reflection of you or of what you deserve, alright? your sister’s selfishness is a trait of her own. your parent’s anger is a result of their lack of control and self regulation. none of this is on you. it may be hard to truly believe that in this moment, but nonetheless i think it’s a sentiment you should try to keep close to your heart. it’s not your fault that you have been failed by the people who were supposed to protect you, and it doesn’t mean that any future bonds you form will turn out the same way. it’s normal to want to give up at times, but you must know that there’s a difference between temporarily feeling that way and actually acting on it in a very permanent way. i said this another anon the other day, but i mean it just as much: you have so much waiting for you. and you didn’t survive all of that for nothing. once you’re in college and you have autonomy over your own life, once you get to choose how much time you spend with your parents and how much you let them in - all of the pain and toxic beliefs you’ve built your world view around will begin to slowly dissipate. and that may be a life long process, but it’s supposed to be. you have all of the time in the world to build your own existence and to heal from what’s happened to you. there are so many different tools to utilize, paths to walk down and people to meet who will show you what it’s like to be truly loved. including yourself, the person you will grow into. if you just give yourself the chance. i know it’s not that much comfort in this moment because you still have to deal with your parents and their bullshit, but it’s good to consciously remind yourself of all the good that is out there. when you’re an anxious and hurt person, it’s common to suffer from a sense of impending doom or failure, but the reality of it will be so much more of a calm, gradual process than you realize.

that being said, i’m quite worried that you’re still in this situation and that your parents are just okay with periodically putting you through ‘episodes’. it’s NOT okay. and you have every right to process hurt, anger, bitterness, sadness, numbness because of it. while it may be painful, there is no shame in crying or in feeling whatever you need to feel. it’s a normal human response to such emotional turmoil, so try to go easy on yourself honey. you’re doing what you can with what you’ve been given. however, it’s important to understand that the presence of these negative emotions is never an excuse to harm yourself or worse. i understand that it’s extremely overwhelming, and that it may sometimes feel beyond your control. but even just attempting to put some positive coping mechanisms in place may make all the difference, even if they don’t work every single time. this can be anything from creating a safe space for yourself (in your room, or could be somewhere outside like the park or a library) to researching breathing techniques and self affirmations, to journaling or venting to your friends, to meditation to finding a comfort hobby/show to simply lying in bed and sobbing the feelings out and then going to sleep, maybe practicing some self care. every small effort counts, even if it feels like the dumbest thing in the world. if you keep it up on a semi consistent basis, you will notice a shift eventually. it’s possible to hurt and grow at the same time. i also think it could be a good idea to consider reaching out to someone about this - perhaps a school counselor, or a mental health hotline, or a support group in your area. maybe make an appointment with your doctor to see if they can recommend any resources, if possible? whatever works for you. i just really think it’s important that you understand on a very fundamental level that you have every right to talk about what’s going on, and that there are so many ppl out there who understand. who have even been through the same thing, and survived after it and thrived. i know this is one of those suggestions that feels very scary and like you just can’t do it, but if there’s any service available to you i’d really recommend utilizing it, or at least not ignoring the option all together. having someone you can be honest with and who can enable you to develop some self esteem, plus some added perspective so you don’t feel as ‘trapped’, will really make it all feel a little less heavy. consistent therapy/counseling will show you how to unlearn all of the mental habits you’ve developed over the years due to the treatment you’ve endured, and you deserve that relief. i get that it all feels like a lot of effort, and i’m not saying that doing this stuff is a quick fix. i’m saying that you have a life and an existence that is worth investing in, that is worth caring about. you are worth the world, FUCK your parents for making you question that due to their own mental and emotional issues. regardless of your past, you’re here and you deserve better. you will find better. you’re so much closer to getting ‘out’ than you realize. while it’s normal to be scared of living alone, humans adapt quite quickly. and you wont be alone in the way that you imagine, you’ll simply have agency over your own choices. like i said before, there are so many ppl who are going to show you what it’s like to truly treasured, who you haven’t even met yet. it’s just a matter of treating yourself softly, the way you’d treat a friend going through a hard time, until you get to that point. and also a matter of knowing your parents are full of shit. but anyway, this got far too long. i just have a lot to say, i hate how adults choose to have babies and then do this to them.....if you want to talk about it properly, or if you need a friend or anything. please feel free to send me a message. i’ll be here, and i believe in you !! one day at a time 💌

[kindyu]

im so sorry to usa students, i feel so fucking sorry that the system failed you. in most countries, school sucks really bad, but in the usa? fucking hell, from what i just learned.

you have to have "bathroom passes" to go to the bathroom during class???? and only like 3 per semester??? what. the. actual. fuck. peeing is a human right and it's being taken away from you. i also heard that in the uk, you can't go pee during class at all??? that was just from one person so idk if it's common, but wtf???? in highschool even??? oh my god that's so fucking idiotic im so outraged????

and then school violence ofc, all the fear of a school sho**ing. im so sorry.

and standardized tests. fucking bullshit. teachers saying you have to study 3 hours for each class you have??? imagine being an absolute asshole of a teacher!!!!! im so fucking angry omg

and there must be so much more i don't know about!!!!

you guys should protest. it all makes me so fucking angry. i live in europe, but i think this is applicable to most school systems: THEY EXPECT TO BEHAVE LIKE ADULTS, BUT THEY DON'T TREAT US AS SUCH.

teachers at our school always expect us to be understanding of everything they do, tolerating their bullshit behavior, being calm and collected and never standing up for ourselves because if we did, we would be ungrateful to the """amazing teachers that put their hard work into teaching us the most important things about life""". fucking BULLSHIT. they can't even collect themselves, so why should we? why should we be emotionally mature when you, older, the ones who have to teach us, can't be?? im fucking 19!!!! you can talk to me normally!!! not shouting at me for not saying hello to someone in a hall!!!!! i fucking hate school.

to all students: you are worthy. no matter your grades, no matter what your classmates think, no mater what any teacher thinks or says. you are worthy. you are special and loved and you do not deserve this treatment. we are dehumanized all the time in an institution we are expected to be happy and grateful for and if we aren't, we're called lazy, or told we don't care. i do care!!! i wouldn't have gotten depression bcs of school stress if i haven't cared!!! and let me tell you, my friends. even if you don't care about school. it doesn't mean you're a bad person. if you hate school, dislike your teachers, do not study often, have bad grades. it doesn't mean you're bad. or lazy. i want you to be happy. and if painting, playing games, learning languages, playing football, watching funny celebrities videos or anything instead of studying makes you happy??? fucking valid. i applaud you for deciding to be happy. you don't have to have the best grades. you don't have to have a degree. but i want you to be happy.

[adrienaline-rushed-art]

Can you do Marinette for next character ask/ml sugar pls?

Why I like them: Despite being immature in many ways— I guess by that, I mean her obsessive behavior, but really guys… she *just* turned 14. You know who else is 14? 1D fanfic writers (but more on that later)— in other ways, she’s more mature than adults. First, she’s self-aware, and she’s willing to take responsibility/humble herself when the time comes. Even though a lot of this is because Tikki guides her, it means a lot that she actually listens. I know so many adults that would rather be petty. 

And when I say self-aware I mean a lot of things. For one, she understands when she’s doing something… mm… not so great. Many of these things are for comic relief/exaggeration/situational comedy/slapstick (which is pretty much the extent small children get from it), but it’s still evident that she feels guilty or hesitant. 

does that look like the face of someone who’s comfortable with her own actions? 

Kids who watch heroes look for (and need) confidence and justice. Neither of which are happening in this scene or in some others, and from the kids that I know… they’re totally aware of it. Some might blatantly shout at Marinette as they watch her do something wrong, others might not say anything but… trust me they aren’t taking notes. 

The thing is, I’m glad she’s a main female character… who screws up…. a loT. The hero isn’t supposed to be perfect, and I mean that in a general way. Flat villains are perfect in their own realm, so I don’t think imperfect characters are only better for writing, they’re better people or can become better people. A perfect individual is a comfortable and consistent one, a person needs ups and downs to improve. 

It’s a bit like kim possible, except Marinette commits more errors because she’s younger and less adventurous… so in a way she’s a bit naive to the world (Kim Possible may as well be an ambassador, so she’s cultured and still makes really cringey mistakes eyes the wheelchair episode). We grew up watching her make these mistakes so we could see them get fixed, if they never happened we wouldn’t know for better or for worse. What’s more, it’s most important coming from the main character. So… I’m proud of her. 

Another thing is that she watches her own behavior in the future. She’s learning to trust that Adrien won’t fall for Lila’s gags, she’s learning to talk to him and move away from being a fan (bluntly pointed out in Troublemaker, she actually sees herself as more of a fan than as a friend. Yes, she was lying to cover herself, but she had pictures of all of her friends up… she didn’t use friendship as an excuse? And why did the excuse come to her so naturally? It might be obvious, but she gets flustered and doesn’t come up with good lies… honestly ‘because im a fan’ is pretty fair), and she’s learning how to treat Chat Noir. 

I would almost say in Season 1 that Ladybug was pretty flippant to Chat Noir, and I know it was cute at times but people usually behave this way with someone they feel close to already… so why didn’t she ever take the time to take him seriously? Ever since Glaciator, Ladybug has learned how sensitive he is. She didn’t judge him so quickly as to assume that he felt entitled to her, or that he was throwing a simple/unimportant tantrum that could be shrugged off. She took the time to read into the situation and see what exactly was going through his head. Emotions are never a joke, especially in a city where someone like Hawkmoth is a concern. She was cool and collected like a therapist, especially because she sympathized where his feelings were coming from (not too long before she had gotten upset with some ice cream man that was just doing his everyday thing and ditched her friends because she felt hopeless and betrayed by Adrien). Granted she never said anything against him, but she didn’t get forced into a situation where she had to confront him either. 

She also knew that reacting harshly would only make things worse, and then neither of them would get off from their high-horse. Compassion is what gets a person to reflect and feel respected. She looked him sincerely in the eyes and apologized, and she expected the same from him. She set the stage, and he responded. They ended up fine, and he even reacted well to the infamous ‘friendzone’, because well… he treasures friends too, and he didn’t know Ladybug considered him to be one. Ladybug was surprised, but now that she knew he had felt abandoned not only that night but since the beginning, she took note that he has trouble reading when a person cares about him deeply (and we all know he does, his love receptors are broken both in his household and as seen in the most recent ep). 

She is much softer with him now but very explicit. She doesn’t beat around the bush, she tells him exactly what he needs to hear. 

“Chat Noir! You know you’re irreplaceable.” 

Look at that face, he knows now that you said it. 

It’s actually quite motherly… I mean this is a perfect response. She adjusts to the needs of her friends accordingly rather than treating them equally, because friends don’t always need the same thing. Equity over equality. She’s an excellent example and so much more than the “Huff… I’m a strong independent woman and I don’t care about men and if anyone ever sasses me I’ll choke them. Also I don’t paint my nails, that’s for babies” You can be strong and independent without sacrificing any of these things. It’s not about making enemies, it’s about standing up for yourself— and those you care about. 

I could look for so many examples of how she looks out for her friends and makes sure to mind their feelings and experiences before getting all defensive, but that would be… the entire show. 

She’s imperfectly perfect and perfectly imperfect. 

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Zombisou... and maybe Chameleon and Oniichan. She was angry about so many different things and had so much pressure on herself— including the fact that in each of these she had to protect/comfort/defend someone anyone else in their right mind would rather spit on. But Marinette is noble, she knows how to keep herself together when she needs to. When it comes down to it, the people she’s so angry with are human too. They have hearts with burdens of their own that she doesn’t even know about, if something were to happen to them she would care. She has the responsibility to keep them safe, but also she wants to. There’s a difference between a pain in the ass and a monster, and besides she isn’t the judge of the universe, it’s not her place to decide what someone gets and doesn’t get. Maybe they aren’t getting everything they deserve, but if every human being got what they deserved we’d all be struck dead by lightning. 

And she certainly doesn’t wish death upon them. And as we’ve all noted, whether it’s seen publically or not... what goes around comes around. 

Favorite season/movie: Season 2 wins again... for now, it aint over yet

Favorite line: Uhh... dang it this again... how about the one above? “You know you’re irreplaceable?” and every other uwu line she has. She is so soft hhuhhggn 

Favorite outfit: The cute lil maid outfit from Animaestro

OTP: Well it’s the same as what I put for Adrien, Marichat. For noncanon... mmm.. I think Kagaminette but Ninette is p damn close 

Brotp: I mean??? ALyanette duh. But you know since right now Ladynoir is technically platonic.... they’re pretty lit as bros too (marichat is too but so far fanon is the only place they’ve truly become bro bros) 

Headcanon: She wouldn’t have all of those pictures of Adrien if she felt even remotely close to him. I think those fics where she has photos up of Chat Noir should be canon, just like how she has ones of her friends, but she has soo many of Adrien which sets him apart from friendship like I said before. She’s insecure and taking advantage of the fact that he’s famous af, none of us can truly relate to having access to so many amazing photos of our crushes... and to sort of continue with the next question..

Unpopular opinion: These days a phone’s photobook may as well be a private wall to hang pictures on so really... Marinette is an exaggeration of exactly what people do— mostly young girls, which she happens to be— and hey get off of your crushes Instagram while you’re at it. It’s actually pretty normal, it’s not the best behavior but again, you need to have that cringey low to climb higher. And anyhow it’s all for the joke of it, no one is supposed to take these things seriously. But I’ll let you all know when my younger cousins start hanging up stalker photos of their noncelebrity crushes “because marinette did it so it must be ok” 

Honestly, not even the borderline ooc things are that bad. Like... they’re bad... but it’s a good thing to show, as in it’s not too horrendous to use as an example. It works because it’s so unrealistic, but with very real behaviors that kids need to address in themselves by watching Marinette. I would say some of her actions straddle between IC and OOC, not either-or. 

(WARNING: Do not read on if you have intensely strong feelings toward L/u/k/a to the point of sensitivity over any mild criticism as a character or as he is written. If you’re pretty chill reading anything then you’re fine, I didn’t say anything cruel I only gave an opinion as mildly as I could. The point of the honest opinion section is not to be salty but to express my point of view without insults)

Her crush on Adrien at this point in time is no more or less unhealthy than her crush with L/u/k/a— which is still unclear because for some reason In Silencer she still looked like she was on the brink of deciding she had a crush. She’s kind to L/u/k/a and he’s kind back, but she isn’t very nice. The difference is that it’s not very nice to ask someone on a date to spy on your main crush, it’s not very nice to indulge in the affection someone gives you as a chew toy while you wait for your crush and try avoiding the guy who is deeply in love with you and you sorta like him too. (He fell for her incredibly quickly and she did too despite feeling insulted by him moments before, unfortunately he’s a fallback she feels almost nothing for and she’s directing her ‘oh-no-feelings-for-someone-who-isnt-adrien’ chat noir attack to l/u/k/a because with him, she knows its easily uprooted).This goes back to the importance of not always being at your best behavior for a child audience to learn from you, but my unpopular opinion is that she and Adrien are not toxic and she and l/u/k/a are not a godsend. He’s also the equivalent of a High school sophomore dating an 8th grader? So... it’s kinda weird that he’s advancing? (I censored his name for the sake of avoiding conflict, I’m stating this for the unpopular opinion and I said it in as straight as I could because I don’t want salt to touch this. I respect L/u/k/a as a character, he’s a good boy. I’m disagreeing and agreeing to disagree by trying not to engage.) 

Wish: Please, let her find out Chat Noir’s identity first... I beg you. 

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Except don’t let the reveal happen right after one of them is rejected... that... that would be really bad. 

5 words to best describe them: Noble, responsible, creative, strong, kind

 My nickname for them: I like Marigold and Shortcake, I’ve used them in fics and I cry

anyway she’s one of the best protags don’t @ me when I have kids they’ll be watching her and adrien and they will be who they’re raised on

[01010010-posts]

— turn me into something else as I don't want to be myself anymore.

request: How would our sweet bois be as humans? Would they be different (personality wise)? Would they have goals in life like having a family etc. 👀

trying the reverse!au bc thick-as-thebes is a devilishly baby and tempted me with this

Connor:

• a disaster • dishevelled hair, indulges too much on alcoholics, smokes, overworks himself to the point of passing out, eats shitty things and, to top it all, often gets into fights, both physical and vocal • good luck with being near him • either he doesn’t notice you or he straight up doesn’t care • so roll up your sleeves and knock some reason into this stupid guy!!! • at first he’ll be very annoyed by your presence but,,,, wait for a while • and, maybe while drinking a can of beer, you’ll get to know him for what he truly is: a burn-out depressed man trying to find balance in his life • im honest, it will be difficult • he’ll get clingy and jealous, to the point of being overbearing sometimes • but he’ll try to get the hang of his emotions for you • he’ll try to be better for you; he’ll stop eating junk food and reduce drinking for you • he stops smoking as soon as he realizes he’s in love that’s a given • which requires the help of his brothers btw since he’s clueless • everyone at the DPD is speechless when they see him actually finishing his shift and getting home at a normal hour for the first time • and it’s all bc of you!! gosh • personal request: take him clothes shopping THANKS • oh yeah forgot to say he has a praise kink so you know what to do love • not to mention that, contrary to his twin, he’s a sadistic bitch so you’ve been warned • sleep with him!! he doesn’t have nightmares when he’s with you in bed • anyway no, you can’t meet his brothers they’re evil :< • do you like sumo? he hopes you like sumo how the hell are you going to live in his house if you don’t like sumo c’mon 

RK900:

• an adult that never kissed anyone • still a virgin • yet everyone thinks he fucks daily • the only thing he fucks daily is his life tbh • deeply touch starved like the thirst bitch he is • what? relationships?? not gonna happen nu-uh, no, nyet, not even in a million lightyears • people are messy & sticky and he hates that • what do you mean he’s no better than others? of fucking course he is • everything is in order: his house, his apparel, his desk, his pens, his cases • except for his brothers btw, they are the opposite of ‘being in order’ no matter how much he tries to • but when you, the most ordinary person he’s ever met, begin to chip away at his cold exterior • he loses it • so dates are a thing?? eating together during breaks exists?? SPENDING TIME WITH YOU AND CUDDLING?? SUCH WILD CONCEPTS • apparently relationships are now less ugly,,,, maybe • teach him how to feel • by the time he gets comfortable around you he’s totally head over heels in love • he’s a weak bitch you don’t know the power you have over him • try and lightly touch his neck, just try, trust me, he’ll melt in a puddle of blush • he’s actually scared of you knowing his family so please don’t hate him if it takes a bit to warm up about this topic • like, have you seen his brothers? no you haven’t and he’s happy this way • they’re cool tho so give him time and you’ll have beautiful & dorky brothers-in-law 

RK800-60:

• this boy • he’s perfect, bubbly and loving • the problem is: he doesn’t know yet • it’s pretty simple to fall in love with him, and you’re no special case • just look at him? how could you not be infected by his smile? • the second problem is: you have to convince him that it’s alright to have something that lasts more than a week • reassure him!! sleep with him too!! care for him!!! stop him from eating sugary things thank u • you’re lucky you don’t have to fret about his fashion sense • but really take it easy and build a tender relationship • not only because it’s totally worth it but also because you both deserve this chance ok • worth it as in the best boyfriend ever i can guarantee for him • no worries!! he’d be super happy about you meeting his brothers!! • he’d be a bit jealous but shh he’ll get over it by kissing you lots • he’s very insecure we all know that help him when he needs it • tips: tease that stupid nipple piercing since he’s a bit on the masochist side • okay he even has a tongue piercing tease that too (!) • no i mean it im not joking tease him and,,,, it’ll do wonders • he also loves when you’re in the control of the sensations he feels so handle him accordingly

[tommyquackson]

unrighteousness | t. holland | part 6

Not My Gif

summary: a perfect angel isn’t as perfect as she’s lead to believe, and there’s no other angel who knows more about imperfection than the one who fell

warnings: demons, angels, heaven is bad :/, religion and talk of god, oh and fluff

note: this chapter is a little short but we’re getting closer to the end!! this is the longest series i’ve written on this account

You could feel it. Pure power coursing through your once empty veins. Your heart filled with strength courage and admiration. You’d been spending the past month training almost everyday. You could physically see the difference in your body. You laughed a bit more, your smile was more present, you arm muscles were present and your legs looked amazing (something Tom made sure to tell you any chance he got). You’d been making friends and getting acquainted with Hell, making it feel like a real home with family. You’d even gotten drunk with Tom and the Twins own night when you all ventured down to the villages bar, partying for hours. At first you’d felt a little scared, what would God think? He’d be furious, so angry. You didn’t care anymore though, you couldn’t care. You weren’t in heaven in anymore, you were with Tom who assured you that God was no longer a problem for you. When you weren’t training or making friends, you spent all your time with Tom. In his throne room, you’d help make decisions. You walked around the castle with him, keeping up matinence and talking to housekeepers and other workers. You hung out in each other’s rooms, watching movies from Earth and reading different books together. You’d even gone with him to make sure all the punishments were going correctly. You liked Tom, you’d never been in a relationship for obvious reasons, but Tom tells you of his times on Earth, and the people he’s dated and even had sex with. It still makes you red when talking about sex but Tom is kind and understanding. Doesn’t give too much detail and only explains the technicalities.

“What ya thinking about, angel?” Tom asks throwing an arm over your shoulder. You’re both having dinner with his friends and brothers and it was lovely.

“You?” You whisper looking down at your lap and playing with his hand that’s close to your face.

“Oh yea? What about me?” His smirk grows quickly and you can see the fire behind his eye. You always made sure to inflate Toms ego because he looked good when he was confident and playful.

“I-i think i like you, in a relationship type way, but I don’t know how the devil would feel about being with an angel.” You spill blushing, no matter how embarrassing, you’ve never been able to stop from saying the truth with Tom, everything just spills out.

“The devil would enjoy it very much. How about we talk more in my room?” He asks setting napkin on his plate. You nod quickly. He stands up and let’s everyone know that he’s going to talk to you in his room but they’re free to continue eating or do as they please.

You walk with him back to his room, talking about the food and dinner with the boys. Once you enter, you plop down on the bed, waiting for Tom to join so you may cuddle him. Once you’re both properly situated, he asks a question.

“Do you know what love is?” He looks deep into your eyes and almost whispers the question. You go to nod before realizing, that you don’t know. You shake your head and shrug.

“I mean, I know of it, but i’ve only loved things never a person or anything like that.” You whisper back never breaking eye contact.

“Then im not sure I can explain it, but y/n, I think I love you, which isn’t as surprising as I thought it would be. When I see you, a fire rages in my stomach and my heart clenches before beating faster. Whenever you smile it makes me smile, and it makes me happy just when you’re near me. You are so brave, you don’t even know why you’re here yet and your not scared at all. Usually i would keep all my feelings aside, but I can’t help but tell you. I may be inlove with you, angel.” He speaks lightly brushing your arm with his fingertips.

“I get the same feelings in my heart. I think that maybe I also love you.” You confess your stomach exploding with nerves and butterflies.

He doesn’t say anything, just smiles real wide and kisses your forehead.

“Can you-can you kiss me? I’ve never done it before” You manage to squeak out. Tom grabs your chin gently before moving super close.

“Push your lips out just a tad” He whispers, his breath falling on your face, as your eyes slowly close shut. You do what he tells you and wait. You feel him pull your chin close and suddenly your lips are touching, the fire in your stomach burns hot and your head nearly explodes. It’s a quick soft kiss but it leaves you breathless. Tom pulls away leaving you panting and his eyes are wide like his smile.

“How was that?” He asks

“Incredible” You say inbetween breaths. He leans back and his mood shifts.

“What’s wrong Tom?” You ask, lightly scratching at his chest that’s exposed from his shirt that he’s taken the liberty of unbuttoning at the top.

“There’s a war coming angel. And it’s your war. It’s the reason I brought you here. It’s coming closer and closer everyday, and I’m so scared that we won’t be ready.” He speaks, his jaw now clenched and his eyes stoney

“Why me?” You ask sitting up.

“Y/n, you’re special. You aren’t just a regular angel. In the early stages of everything, before humans, God was trying to find the beat way to create them. He planned and thought and wondered for years and years and years. He’d thought that if he mixed a demon with an angel, they would balance out, making a normal human. What he got was something else, he was left with a child with a black wing and a white wing, fiery red eyes and a black soul. He also knew that if he were to lose track of this child, the hierarchy of angels would perish. He entrusted his team of angels to keep the closest eye on the child. Making sure to never let it know who it truly was. They ripped of the black wing and it grew back white. They let it grow into a young adult and convinced it, an angel was its only title. That’s you, y/n. I brought you here to protect you and show you who you are. They would’ve killed you, if you ever found out on your own, which was inevitable because your demon heritage would’ve clawed it way out of you. That’s why you have the same powers as us plus more. Angels can’t conjure fire or see in the dark, they also can’t move things with their mind. Only demons can, the strongest of demons.

This war, is going to be heavens army, with a direct order to kill you, no matter what. I will not let that happen and neither will you. You’ve only been training for a month and yet you’re more powerful than half the demons I have here. You deserve to live and love and be yourself down here, whether that’s as a pure angel, a pure demon or as both at the same time. Only you can make that decision, but I will be with you the whole time. I will never let anyone hurt you.” He finishes his speech, looking into your eyes. You sit up and tears fill your eyes, youre overwhelmed but grateful for Tom. Anger begin to course through you, how could they do this to you. They forced you to hate everything that you were and become something you weren’t. You hated them, hated heaven and every higher angel in it. You looked at Tom with angry eyes.

“When’s the war, I’m ready”

“Soon angel, very soon”

taglist: @loxbbg @laucontrerasv @vintageroses1014516 @andreuskystuff @tragicluver @noctifers-blog

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Apparently my mom became a sort of boss..

Like one day she said Abu was escaping so she said for them to capture him then take him where he wanted to go.

For me, that's some bull shit to stay kidnapped and cry and complain she wouldn't be safe here.

That alone is all you're too much hassle to deal with during Christmas and Hanukkah. You didn't care about 31 of mine, you can stay in the hospital. Instead of us catering around you and your care and trying to enjoy our holidays, minus you and our life is better just as she said during nearly 33 years.

Because every dam day it's gonna be checking on mom and making sure things are okay and dealing with her bullying if she desieres to be one.

I was willing to do it so my dad could see her and us during the holidays and she didnt feel abandoned.

But she can have that feeling.

Of course my other siblings can vote, we set up different possibilities but im not baby sitting her like we were going. Another holiday but not 2 weeks of it.

......

My best friend was trained by my mom in the kitchen. One day she overslept so Abu sent for her father to protect her. And he became an in between from another farm to his daughter's. Neither one were sure who they were with but they felt better. Like how I always felt with her or our friend. Just better. No real reason why. Just better. Stronger and mentally clean. Like happiness isn't a sin.

.....

Our other friend was just a common slave, hidden under the ranks. But he had a guitar and things like that that many others didnt have. He was told to say he stole it. But he found it under a tree around Easter. A gift from God or the Easter Bunny. So he was treated with respect and protected more than other common slaves. Although he himself would protect any one there. As he went to save our friend. But was unable.

He gave lessons and found books of music sheets to learn new songs, here and there, usually tucked in his sheets when it was noticed he was failing at happiness.

While it may seem like only he got gifts... Anyone whom could hear recieved the gift of music and the more he taught others, the more guitars that would appear.

And one day a piano appeared. A small organ piano.

So he was the rockstar in the Queens eyes. Because i knew the Queen would protect him.

....

For our friend in the kitchen unique spices and recipies would appear hidden in the cabinet or sitting on the stove, again starting around Easter. Hers was before and the magic of music after. This granted her a better bed from the Queen and better shoes on Christmas, the kind nurses wear for all the farms kitchen workers, again from the Queen as Abu requested.

As my mother complained she quit cooking because her feet hurt. But refused to do anything about it, including asking the Queen, So i told Abu, i want to beat her face in so bad. And Abu said i have a better idea. Lets prove to the Queen they deserve them, in only the way the Queen will understand.

And so i prayed.

And i knew we won so i growled at my mother. And it scared her. But i did not attack her like a wild animal should, although I wanted to.

....

Abu found people all over that he felt a kindred spirit with so he did all kinds of things for them.

Of course new recipes and new spices induced a fresh day for my friend and fresh taste for all the victims that ate from her kitchen and as Abu saw it working, all the kitchens on all the farms.

....

It came from God, it is true. It did.

But as others have said that i have done a miracle this past week... I say it could not happened without help from other humans.

I choose not to be As critical of myself or Obama (as much as usual) for it being so long they have been kidnapped before I could help them, and since God blessed his human traffic victims with gifts that protected them as provided from Abu and his workers that would slip in the gifts and surprises. It makes it easier to not be so critical of him and myself.

....

The reason I write is because of another dear friend i saw as a father. We call him Hondo.

Because Ms Hindi says he thinks like her.

And Ms Hindi said God says no Christmas for mom. As her punishment as he can review his list.

But Hondo was kidnapped with the promise of surfing down South and he wanted to teach his son.

But instead he became a human traffic victim.

He thought his son had died over a decade and half ago. So he could not return home. He thought he didn't deserve it.

So he told himself it was better to stay with Abu and make sure Abu stays good. And doesnt end up like my mom. So one day, he kept his fingers crossed, that he could promise me i would be safe with Abu. And he could teach me the truth and the difference between him and her.

Then maybe, maybe, God would tell him or he would feel or finally believe he could go home and his wife would not hate him

But at least maybe he could get into Heaven to see her Then because he helped someone that he saw and took care of and loved as he did his own kid.

He uses Matt to send money home on the holidays. And he uses his money from work to hire security and protection for his wife and daughter at home. Matt bought them a new house -- But Matt hes a dork. Was too afraid to So he pretended he bought the trailer they were in and hooked it up and tried to move it. So he apologized with 1 million dollars.

Boys are dumbasses. But it worked!!!

....

So you see that all kinds of people i know but each one are absolutely different.

While Hondo is afraid and ashamed.

My mother is manipulative and egotistical.

One friend has no father But another has had hers nearby and has built a relationship with him. (Our male friend went to pack, not wanting to leave, not knowing who is really behind the move - knowing the bull shit his father is capable of although dead -- they're all the same; while shes with her dad and they had packed the first minute she had)

....

Crates with packing material have been flown in about 2 hours ago and the DNA test kits arrived and some people have been tested.

Like my mother was tested and then compared with my DNA test i had already taken at 23andme.

Some of us were hoping she was buried down in the common slave department. Unfortunately we all know our parents even when we don't want them.

....

My best friend's mom as we were taught is her mom is still alive as is her younger sister and shes got nieces and nephews. But her family is like mine and got mixed with non familial relatives and family. So the DNA tests will come in handy.

Our friend still has his brother and the mom he had has died but the father he was left to is still alive. And hes a good guy, he always said his mom was only good at cooking and he was supposed to ignore her otherwise. So he has his own family to return to, although its a mix of blood and love. His was based on honesty although his father is a horrible criminal, he was raised with as much information as possible. DNA tests will be helpful also, though but not as, we feel, dammed important. Not Because his father is a criminal, we just feel there's honesty.

Hes the same as Declan and so there's no bad to fall upon him, he wasn't asked to be born to him. Or to be born at all.

And so no one really that i know of is to be treated bad at all.

My mom although we aren't giving her what we want for 99.9% of the victims, shes not being punished as far as real punishment goes. We are electing her to get real instead of having fun. So being in a mental hospital or physical hospital instead of being at a house with guards and family time. It happens all the time everywhere. Regardless if you're a human trafficker or new born with cancer or a teenager that no one listens to.

....

So i do hope that everyone understand that the majority over 99.9% didn't want to be kidnapped to be kidnapped and human trafficked.

And a lot of the adults feel guilty and ashamed.

Weak and dumb and a whole list of things that should give them reasons to be hated by their own family.

Like Hondo.

.

So many people think if i do this one thing and it's good to God then i can move on.

So those that have been here 10 years. Not all feel that way but im sure that quite a large handful do.

And those in Iraq will have that mental disturbance.

....

So for y'all at home waiting for your loved ones. Remind them to be safe. Like no hitchhikers and no hitchhiking.

But also remind them that its okay. Its okay they are home.

Our neighbor Hondo was in the Military and took a ride with Jeremiah. We trusted him to a small degree as he was always in the neighborhood and had a charm like a sleezy car salesman.

Which is why they are going to be gifted cars, so they don't take rides with someone they shouldn't trust but do.

And we admit there will be a huge amount of mental issues, thoughts, that will be difficult to deal with for the victims and for the families to give correct advice.

Guidelines of Safety and Emergency Situations will be provided to both the family and the victims.

Like a mental break down is possible. A panic attack is possible.

For both sides.

Step One is to realize the situation. 1. The kidnapped has been released and is free. Breathe. 2. Both the family and victim are loved. Breathe.

Usually there's just a simple "what color shirt do i want to buy?" Can set off a whole fucked up system in the minds. It can happen to a "normal" person. Don't think im not speaking from experience!!

Step Two: step away. Drop the topic. Stop what you are doing. Let someone else handle it. Or try again after sleep. Not because there is something wrong with you but because you're not taking care of you. Youre probably over stimulated. Again personal experience. So don't feel like trash.

Step three: pray. Just ask. Insert the word "God and help and me and what you are trying to do."

Repeat.

There's more examples in the lists that will be sent. But this is the short version. And they will cover emergency situations which is just about the same but the why is explained in details.

And the above works for any one And everyone.

[sungchanlele]

“The Rain”The importance of Rasmus Andersen.

Okay listen up, imma going to speak about this amazing and probably misunderstood character who I have learned to love very dearly: Rasmus Andersen.

Now, i don’t know if you (reader, yes, im speaking to you) have finished watching The Rain but I’m about to drop some big fucking spoilers try and show that Rasmus is a very important character who deserves respect and love, so be warned.

Now, I’ve seen either here or in Twitter some people talking shit about Rasmus, calling him a spoiled brat, childish prick, crybaby kid etc etc…in very few words: a completely annoying character.  Well I disagree to that, so  I’m about to drop in this mini rant and be warned: this is MY OPINION about this character and what I learned about him during the course of the series, so by the end of the day if this mini rant helped that’s great, and if people agrees with me that’s also amazing, so with all that being said let’s proceed shall we?

In the first episode of The Rain, we just get kind of introduced to these fantastic characters in a very stressed environment, why? Because the rain is coming, and it’s a very dangerous rain tbh, so the character of Simone and Rasmus are shown tense and scared. We get to meet Rasmus in the car, and is a kid, a 10-year-old kid, who basically, at his very young age, lived basically the eradication of humanity. 10 YEARS OLD and in the span of an episode: he experimented a kind of a apocalypse, a 2012 shit, his dad left them and to worse thing up here: he saw his own mom getting killed/infected by the rain with his 10 YEAR OLD eyes. By this rate, he has many reasons to be traumatized, but worse of all: By the end of the episode, we see Martin’s gang entering the bunker and Rasmus just got to see the grass and the sky for at least 5 seconds before being shoved back to the bunker, and he is again taken from freedom.

Now, by this point, everybody watching the series probably started to think about Rasmus as a childish baby because he says things like: “I want to get out NOW” and him reacting when Simone tries to comfort him saying “LEAVE ME ALONE” but its actually the other way around: how would you feel if you managed to get some freedom after being 6 years locked on a friking bunker with limited space and no sunlight and fresh air, and suddenly that freedom gets snatched again in less than 5 seconds by some fucking strangers with guns (BIG ASS GUNS) threatening to kill you, your sister and locking you up in a EVEN SMALLER PLACE (because lets be clear, the bunker may be big, but it can get small when you get used to the zone).  So, it can be reasonable Rasmus’s anger, yes I agree that he could have controlled it, but lets be real here, everyone would be scared and even claustrophobic if you were in his place.

Moving on, allow me to leave one thing clear, of all the brilliant characters of this amazing series, there’s one that I feel fucking pissed with, and its Beatrice.  (but ngl, she’s written brilliantly). And before you come here as a mob to murder me, let me explain myself why I don’t like her. At episode 1, I started to like her a lot, she helped Simone and Rasmus and stood by their side, and I appreciate her for that (but at this point I dunno if she did that just for convenience; because she liked Rasmus since the moment she laid eyes on him; she really supported Simone and her decisions; or she liked to contradict Martin’s orders) I kinda hoped it was the last 2, and I carried on watching the episode with that mentality, until I noticed the pairing that it came to be Rasmus and Beatrice.  Now listen up, why I find this pairing odd? Because Rasmus in a 16 year old kid who spend 6 years locked in a bunker with no other human contact but Simone, and most of his life before the events of the rain he was constantly sick

so he spend many time also with his parents getting checked and being supervised, laying on the bed. What am I getting at? This kid is NEW to the business of love, not sibling love, like love COUPLE, and this woman, (because lets be fucking real Beatrice is older than Rasmus), comes in and starts seducing this kid. THIS KID, WHO STARED IN AWE WHEN HE SAW TREES. And not just that, Beatrice is a manipulative person who lied to Martin when he said that his parents were in the church or something, to not get separated of them 

and then lied to Rasmus again with his parents being dead in the bed. (LIKE WTF WOMAN WHY U GOTTA LIE TO A KID?)

Now, I don’t know how to interpret Rasmus’s expression when he saw Beatrice and Martin having sex on episode 2, Lucas’s expression there is brilliantly masked in an amalgamation between shocked/curiousness, and that’s when he started to feel a spark of probably jealously. 

And don’t get me wrong, is probably normal for teens to get attracted to adults, it happens, but for adults to respond… its weird, and even more weird in this case, giving Rasmus’s past years of the very few many human interaction he had during 6 years. Get my drift?

Okay, back to Rasmus, having reviewed the past traumatic experiences that he has seen and experienced in the first episode and after being outside, in the span of a very few days, Rasmus:

• Was stabbed and almost died of blood loss and that injury got really infected, so he was in pain.

• Almost got murdered by a crazy doctor by being injected the virus.

• Was probably almost murdered by the other doctor at the house of the old people in episode 5.

• ATE human meat, like WTF people.

• Had a drug addiction to morphine and it was getting bad…

• The person he loved (why Rasmus why) died, and is probably HIS fault.

And the worse of all: his father didn’t help him in the end, on the contrary: he was about to get killed by his own hand. And even if it was for humanity’s own good, this in not Infinity War bro, and that dad wanted to pull a Thanos up in this bitch, like NO dude. Rasmus didn’t deserved to get that gun pointed at him by his own dad. He deserved to get cured, which is the principal reason that his dad left them on episode 1, and I MEAN, the dad is a scientist, THAT’S HIS JOB! One would say that when you know that your own son has a dangerous virus, one would do everything in his power to get his kid cure, right? Not Rasmus’s dad, which is fucked up.

THE POINT HERE IS: of all that messed up shit that Rasmus experienced, the moment he lost Beatrice is when he reached breaking point. Although some people might say that Rasmus fell into that depressive point because of her, my thesis is also that all those traumatic experiences that Rasmus has gone through the series, and loosing many important people, Beatrice is the trigger that sunk him deep. Those emotions invaded his mind, clouded his reason, and not even Simone could bring him the solace he needed, and that’s saying much because Simone was usually the one calming him, offering reassurance and protection. But nothing mattered to him in that moment this focus was the loss of another person important to him and Patrick’s reaction didn’t helped at all, it worsened things up by leaving Rasmus literally alone, Simone showed him affection but she was more focused on getting him away from Beatrice’s corpse (which I don’t blame her at all, I would have done the same), while the others were too shocked like Martin to calm him.

But you know what made Rasmus’s character powerful? What scene that made people seems to misunderstand? The scene in which he injects himself the virus saying: “No more people should die because of me” in episode 7. It’s such a powerful scene that shows how Rasmus is not childish or annoying; it’s the contrary, he’s a boy who wants to protect the people he loves because he doesn’t want to loose anyone he cares for. 

He has grown up in a very violent environment and he’s so fucking scared for the people he loves that he’s willing to die for them just to keep them alive. So the moment Simone tells him: “People are gone because you needed protection” he takes a decision, a dangerous decision; he injects himself the virus, sacrificing himself for the others sake. 

What people are failing to see (by my perspective) is that Rasmus’s character evolved and changed in the course of days, and he is far from a crybaby or a childish person; he is a boy that is scared and reacts to his emotions, he is overpowered by them and he is a very intelligent person that acts instinctively, so the worse thing is that the minute his father said: “I’m not sure I can” (help him) and Simone backing away from him and Rasmus asking: “Am I contagious?” he comes to understand the dangerous person he has become and the high probability of being the reason of Beatrice’s death.

So what can I conclude from Rasmus’s character? What do I see in him? I see a boy who, had to experience traumatic events since he was 10, had to pass 6 years locked in a bunker not experiencing life like a normal teen, had a very complicated love experience with a person who is older than him, had an drug addiction to morphine, had to witness a person very dear to him (his OWN dad) point a gun at him ready to shoot him. I see a boy whose emotions are powerful because he has not known how life works, he’s scared, he just wanted to see the sky…and of course, he could have handled many situations with more calm, but as a teen who is now starting to live life after 6 years of lockdown, he doesn’t know how to react to some things. Rasmus deserves to be seen as a person who is traumatized, who deserves happiness and love thrown to him, to be protected and be saved from that virus.