#im looking directly at you if you know what i mean
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
it's 1 AM and I have a very specific bone to pick with a very specific thing I consume, enjoy and endorse wholeheartedly
here's the thing about vampire bites. they are depicted as this little unhinged and nasty but mostly sexy thing right. our guy (gender neutral) gets bitten and it's like ah! it hurts but also it hurts good ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). and here im talking about like. proper vampire teeth, non of that twilight bullshit just two to four proper fangs nothing more nothing less
well clearly the person writing the sexy biting smut scene has never been bitten by a cat. I dont mean like 'ah no Scruffy bit me a little' i don't even mean 'oh no Sceuffy bit me a lot' i mean like a fully grown ass feral cat that has never been touched by human in its life and craves the taste of flesh biting thru skin muscle cartilage -even sometimes bone- whatever the fuck you got in your meat sack that tiny needle thin tooth is piercing right through it
and here's the thing. it doesn't hurt at first oh no. okay well it hurts but if doesn't hurt too much ya know what i mean. and it leaves a cute little mark nothing serious at all
but in a day that wound is gonna swell. and it's gunna. hurt like all fuck because it just directly injected about five gazillion bacteria directly into a neat little incubation pouch and then closed it right up. its gona swell its gonna ooze and throb and hurt and if that shits in your neck ur pretty much done for i mean an infection right next to the jugular is just easy mode for the bacteria
so unless your vampire boyfriend gargles with antiseptic beforehand you aint gotta worry about turning or bleeding out or developing a biting kink cus youre gonna be delirious from meningitis with a football sized phlegmone in your neck beggjng for the sweet sweet release of death thank you for coming to my ted talk please ensure your vampire boyfriend employs proper dental hygiene
#i also find the image of the morning after hilarious#no walk of shame but ambulance ride of shame to get the wound disinfected#and yea ive been bitten by a caf recently and reevaluated my stance on this issue#its been more than a week and my finger just stopped hurting#it legitimately looks like ive put it into a saw trap#i mean the cat had a right to bite me but man dod you have tk bite THROUGH the joint#i legitimately cried from pain four nights in a row there was no medication strong enough to stop the the trobbing#my finger was FULL of puss I mean f u l l#and I must add I got it properly cleaned right away antibiotics anti inflammatory drugs tbe whole package#i know what im doing alright but man i never want to experience thag again#one of the worst pains in my life and I've broken five bones and dislocated multiple joints#ive had thick ass meedles inserted directly into my knee no anaesthetic whatsoever and it don even come CLOSE#I HOPE THAT LITTLE SHIT IS HAPPY#roachrambles#vampires#tw biting
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think the frustrating thing about Spotify recommendations is sometimes it really does introduce me to lots of cool Indie Bands that I really vibe with and allow me to try some new stuff and sometimes it keeps telling me that I need to Listen to Mother Mother (I have not listened to Mother Mother ever and at this point I never will because it is a pride thing.)
Or a random unfunny tiktok joke song from 3 years ago/ a viral YouTube song from over a decade ago.
#simon says#will probably delete this later#but yeah my recommendations are all mother mother and my spotify weekly is a mix between sweet ass new bands and unfunny bad joke songs#my spotify weekly has Cherry Bomb by the Runaways which is a good recommendation and then the Creative Song from don't hug me im scared#which is a bad recommendation to be clear#i know I have a couple of odd songs from things like shows or cartoon bumpers in my playlist (i got whats new scooby doo on there)#but that doesn't mean that I need to be recommended fuckin Death By Glamour??#like there's no videogame soundtracks in my playlist why the fuck is that there#If I wanna listen to Undertale music I would just listen to the vinyls I own!!#anyways this is just a vent against spotify#my weekly seems to have a LOT more indie stuff so imma check it out real fast#i want to discover more music because I do eventually want to just swap to mp3s and an mp3 player instead of spotify#that is one thing I like about Spotify the most is that it helps me find more bands that I like#but I could probably find stuff via looking up youtube playlists as well#so it's not worth paying for anymore#I asked for an mp3 player for Christmas so hopefully I get one and I can just start using that instead#i miss my mp3 these last 7 years without it have sucked I miss my designated music device#anyways dont have to worry about going ad free if you just have the digital files on your computer and put them directly in a player#😎👍
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
idk if this is controversial but i don't think vash is ashamed of his scars. i think vash is mainly concerned abt the picture he presents to the world and other peoples well-being/feelings. so the reason he doesn't like others seeing his scars is because he think it will make them uncomfortable, and it also sort of undermines the image he wants to project of someone who's very sillygoofy/carefree etc. similarly, i don't think vash is ashamed or insecure about being a plant/having those inhuman features, more he's concerned with how other people react to them. (the plant stuff esp makes sense to hide given how people literally stoned him lmao)
but yeah i don't think he's filled with self loathing over the scars and being nonhuman. i feel like vash's self image is fine, he just prioritizes how others feel and reacts based on that. his whole philosophy of covering up how he feels inside (that smile is fake!) is based on this principle, it doesn't matter if he's depressed as hell as long as he can pretend it's ok, because external presentation and how you affect the world is what really matters to him.
#trigun#trigun maximum#vash the stampede#thinking more of trimax than stampede vash but i think this applies to both?#anyways i've been reading a lot of trigun fic if you couldn't tell#the plant/wings stuff is addressed p well thru meryl in trimax#where it makes sense that ppls immediate reaction to seeing them is fear#(seen in ch 38)#but ofc anyone who knows vash would know he'd never intentionally use his powers to hurt ppl#even if they are terrifying and it's reasonable to be scared#meryl is scared of vash kinda instinctively but she pushes thru it bc he's her friend yk#and there's a whole line where someone just points that out directly i can't remember which chap but yk what im saying#oh when i say his self image is fine i am not referring to the guilt of causing insane tragedies that different#i just mean he's not insecure i feel like it might look like there's overlap w what i'm saying but it's different it's different#only saying this bc i've seen other ppl make him more insecure abt it which is fine but i wanted to add my 2 cents#trigun meta#.lieii#.lieii txt
137 notes
·
View notes
Text
um. tfw your life is about to change massively very very soon and it still doesn't even feel real yet and still feels like somethings gonna pop up and it won't actually happen and also you're scared as fuck that you're too stupid to actually do it and it'll all be for nothing
#like what do you mean full time salaried w benefits and paid vacation just to do. school.#what made you so enthusiastically think i was the perfect one to do this#when the last approx 20something other guys were like ummmm no you cannot do it#tbf like all that other shit up there aside#this did actually come at the perfect time#i look back on who i was during my masters and i legit do not recognize that person#i barely even remember it i have to look at pictures to think back on who i was#in a strange roundabout way being forced home to stay for a while#kind of re centered me and gave me time to come back to myself in a big way. i was really lost before#and chaining something like this directly after my masters would have been disasters#even like this time last year i did not have this level of mental clarity#and i think thats why i didn't get any of the other positions i was just in a fog and i think people could tell#so as much as like im super scared and nervous about this big change and big exit from my comfort zone#and a little sad and mournful that im leaving my family and wont hear my native language all day every day anymore#im the most ready ive ever been#2019 me was NOT ready im scared of her tbh!! idk what wave i was on but it was weirdo shit!#im also proud that i essentially rawdogged and brute forced a lot of introspection and improvement#entirely on my own#like i really can only just describe it as clarity i feel like i matured 10 years in 4 and cleared all the fog#i feel so good about the way i handle things and react to things now vs then#im like 500x more unbothered and actually know how to put myself first now#anyway uh this prob could have been its own post in and of itself#but woteva innit im proud of how much internal repairs i did on myself over the last few years#became a stable genius as it were#whos a lot more clearly defined and present#but fuck man! i am still scared of being 2stupid
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Here is a plot of education resources around Palestine that you can check out if you want to know more. It's completely free and accessable, there's a whole range of books and pdfs available, it will help you to understand what's going on, the context behind it, and what you can do. Please take a look (from milochite on tiktok)
#a few people have sent me asks about this sort of thing and i'm working on answering them along with any specific questions people have#this is a good resource in the mean time#but also i feel compelled to say that. im really not the person you should be looking to rn#this is a fandom blog on tumblr#there are historians and activists and shit that have been studying this shit for years#who know more and can express it better than i ever could#i think ill make a master list of people you can follow because some of you have said youre struggling to find activists#and sm is being repressed rn#also im not palestinian or muslim im literally just a white guy from britain 😭#BUT i do know what im talking about so yk feel free to message me and shit especially if you're looking for places to start#im is.this.erosion on instagram if you want to message me directly!#but first and foremost uplist palestinian voices and experts voices#palestine#gaza#israel#free palestine#power to the people
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah
con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines
#it’s getting better but only now that it’s like. 6pm#as weird as it sounds part of why this sucks is that I volunteered to come into work today cause there’s a concert going on nearby which#usually means we’re at least somewhat busy -> make better tips#and I couldn’t go in because well. you know#I’ve been sick and dying in bed all day unable to move or eat or anything#let alone take the bus and go to work#but. as much as I wish I didn’t go this overboard I don’t totally regret last night cause.#yeah. potential thing going on with cute coworker guy. OH and potential job opportunity at my favorite bar in town#apparently said coworker Also has a job at the bar in addition to where we both work and the bar is hiring barbacks at entry-level#so I have someone to vouch for me and the bartender we were talking to seemed to really want me to apply too#one thing that’s kinda funny to me about all this is that the first two places (a bar then a club) we were at felt really mid because they#were packed with way too many straight people (at a gay bar and a gay club)#but the bar we ended up at (where we ALWAYS end up at. it is the oasis. it is the only thing I can rely on) felt. like. not overwhelmingly#straight? at all? I mean part of it’s just luck in a way with just who happened to be there and all that but it’s also that the staff seem#pretty significantly populated with queer ppl#I complained to the bartender about how the club we were at (one of the biggest gay clubs in the city- if not The biggest) just felt kinda#meh because yeah maybe there were some guys dancing in jockstraps and whatever but the crowd itself like. did not feel largely queer#or at least didn’t have the spirit I’d hope for in a queer space if that makes sense. felt very conventional. not enough wild outfits and#makeup and gender fuckery and so on#and the bartender was like dude I KNOW right? I went off outside there once about the invasion of cishets when this space isn’t FOR them#and so on and so forth. and god that was So real.#so the experience at my beloved bar last night was like. 1) guy comes up behind me just to order a drink but i was saving a seat for my#friend who was in the bathroom and mentioned that in case he was looking to take the seat. chatted a little. ended with him pointing out#that a guy nearby was trying to holla at me.#2) I look over and yes. the dj is. in fact. looking directly at me and mouthing the lyrics to whatever song was playing pointed my way.#it was pretty sweet honestly I think it was partly cause I looked like I was shy and alone#3) whatever gay shit was going on with my coworker and i. amusingly he seems to get more flamboyant when he drinks just like i do.#im not 100% sure what his sexuality is but i Am 100% sure it is Not straight. but yeah. if it hadn’t been so close to closing time ive been#hardcore wondering where that would’ve gone. maybe its for the best that i had to go when i did cause i was pretty drunk and who knows when#I could’ve hit the amount of drunk it takes to like outright say hey just so you know i’d suck your dick right now if you wanted
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
ignore this.
learning to shut up when i dont have anything new to say to the discussions my mutuals are having about the treatment of the female characters in this show and fandom
even though ive just gone ahead and rambled in the tags a bunch of bullshit
#lohst.txt#they're all so right#because this fandom has had problems since the beginning#its always about the boys#the fics and the art and everything#and the fact that a large portion of this fandom is obsessed with the squip. the ACTUAL villain. yet would wish a 16 year old girl death#yeah. chloe did some fucked up things. yeah. dywh is an awful situation that was not handled well#(because this show has awful writing. you guys have been saying that already and youre right)#but come on. y'all act like the other characters did nothing wrong#if the writers would have cared to put actual depth into these characters#i havent listened to the source material in. a while. and i never got around to watching any other boot other than two rivers#i dont know what im saying#it was so easy to join bmc rp servers because no one ever picked the girls#did that mean i was left out of the rps? mostly. yeah#i mean. those servers always had the same rich and jake so we'd team up#but the jeremy and michael would barely give room for anyone else to interact with them#i used to have some discussions with someone about the flaws of this show and how the girls are constantly ignored#(back when i had sort of dipped out of the fandom)#anyway im never one to get involved in discourse directly#i support my mutuals and reblog art and post my silly little fics#mostly because im always too tired to put a lot of thought into any in depth analysis#(even though i have alot of thoughts on chloe and fairytales. which has nothing to do with this whatsoever)#everyone else has said it so much better than what i can currently come up with rn#but the way that the girls get watered down to one personality trait (this includes madeline). and are always used as background characters#the way there was so much christine hate at one point because she got inn the way of boyf riends#i looked chloe up on pinterest the other day out of curiosity#and there was so much hate#everyone likes christine and brooke#theyre the nice girls#the ones that get watered down to innocent and naïve and the mum friend of the group
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
being here has never felt this suffocating.. it feels impossible sometimes to continue
#i wish you'd talked to me about it instead of making a post with screenshots#because that was nothing i did intentionally... i didn't wake up thinking 'i will be racists today' it was a mistake i'm not proud of#i meant my apology and i said i understand when people are offended and that i'm sorry#i know it was wrong and i'm ready to learn from it to not hurt people anymore and idk why it warrants calling me a full racist#and i don't know how you saw that ask bc it was days (or yesterday? idk anymore) ago and you blocked me weeks (months?) ago#you'd have to actively seek that ask out or look through my posts if im blocked for you#and if it wasn't you but someone else who pointed it out for you idk how you guys got to the point of scanning my blog#if i ever hurt anyone im ALWAYS open to talking about it. i remember once using a word wrong and someone pointed it out on anon#and I've never used that word ever since#i would've immediately apologised and deleted that bit too if you'd texted me just one sentence a la 'hey that's so not okay'#and you did the same thing when i went alway last time... never communicating but going against me while so many others reached out to me#if i didn't see anything wrong about this thing now i wouldn't have made that post. im not scared of disagreeing with ppl#and i don't know what you want me to do? i didn't even know M when their thing happened and still felt bad for them.. me or those who are#defending me didn't go against M... how would you think it's the same people? idk man#idk.. i can apologise a 100 times and it won't be okay. and if i don't say anything im dodging the topic it'll never be enough no matter#what i do#reach out to me jords tell me what i can do bc i did NOT mean to ever hurt anyone and im so freaking sorry that i did#<— this msg especially to those who were directly hurt#idk what to do so you stop posting so many screenshots#if you want ppl to stop supporting me then...yeah idk guys stop supporting me — unfollow me it's absolutely okay bc i know that was#uneducated af of me#to all sweet ppl who reached out thank you i see your messages#i'll see all those that'll come too.. i just wont answer so no one drags y'all#thank you that's it#go ahead and screenshot this too. i can't do anything else anymore#also.. the only parts i edited in my apology were 'i didn't mention japanese' and 'i dont feel superior' which i did after waking up cos#my post was made at 5am after randomly waking up during the night#edit: stop sending my friends asks saying i deserved this. i never told anyone to defend me.. they CHOSE it and they're allowed to#that's it... thank you guys and ily#ill brb. not too long just a bit
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
i have been working with kids for four years and i had to write my first ever note just now about a seventh grade boy being inappropriate towards me. i don't know what the hell this could possibly lead to or what. he was trying to feel my legs repeatedly to the point where i had to stop sitting next to him (and i was subbing for his one-to-one para!!!). he's got high support needs. in that kind of job, you're supposed to sit next to them all day and look over their work.
the teacher whose classroom this was happening in could also tell something was wrong. the whole class was acting kinda crazy because it was the day before school vacation week and there was another class coming in to share projects. so like, he was swamped with keeping order already. but we were sitting two feet away from his podium at the front of the room. the kid was giving him and me a hard time when he wouldn't take out his chromebook as he was instructed. and then when he did take out his chromebook, he immediately, for some reason, places it on my lap. he had been ogling my legs the whole time. he puts his computer ON MY LAP. and i'm just like, stunned, because what the hell? can you not keep it on your own lap, for some reason? i don't even know what to say, i just hold it a little above my lap while i'm thinking why on earth would this be happening? he would NOT do this to his regular para if she were here, would he? this can't be normal.
and the teacher sees this and within a minute places a stool in front of the kid for him to put his laptop on. and i'm like. oh ok. yeah. he notices exactly what's happening and that that's not appropriate. and then when the other class comes in to share projects he tells me "miss b——, you don't actually have to sit next to c—— this whole period if you don't want to." and he grabs me a chair for me to go sit with the other paras in the back opposite corner of the room. like he KNEW. and thank you mr. d—— for recognizing that because i was just kind of shocked and didn't know if i was overreacting in my head to all of this.
when there's a point in the class where the kids are discussing stuff, i privately mention what's happened to the para who's sitting closest to me. and she says that the thing about him calling me pretty is something he's been known to do, but the fact that he kept trying to touch my legs is new behavior. and that's a completely different class of behavior. i was telling him NO, don't do that, and he kept doing it. and the fact that he was calling me pretty repeatedly, even when i was giving him instructions that he wasn't taking. and this is the second to last class before the end of the day, so she says she'll take a walk with him before learning center and talk to him about it, and i'm grateful for that. she does. the kid apologizes to me as soon as i come into learning center. but like. WHAT the hell.
i'm STILL like what the hell. this is unfathomable to me. the other adults who i told about this or who witnessed it were supportive of me. but. what to do??? i wrote a long note to his regular para about this, because i knew she was going to hear about it at least from the first para i told. the second para i told about it after school had a kind of... i'm not gonna say enabling reaction, but i suppose since it had already been "taken care of" (or at least, he had been spoken to and apologized) she didn't really have much to add in the way of discipline. i told her what happened after school and she was just like... a little bit, laughing? like oh, yup, that dog. she at the very least confirmed he KNEW what he was doing, that that was not an accident. she said to me "i had a feeling he was going to develop a crush on you" (me and these other paras were together for most of the beginning of the day too). but it's like. it's not about that.
i have worked with children for FOUR years. children have had crushes on me before; i'm quite unfazed by it. boys from the ages of 5-to-15 have told me i'm so pretty before and asked me to marry them. i've never had them feeling up my legs before. i've never had them making me physically uncomfortable. it's NOT about this seventh grader having a crush on the pretty substitute. he is NOT unusual for that, at all. but i've never had a boy of any age or education level repeatedly touching my knees and thighs. THAT is problem behavior!!!
because what if i wasn't assertive enough with him to tell him to stop? what if i was a girl his age? worse, what if i was an adult who encouraged this behavior? i don't come to the middle school to be a seductress. i had no intention in putting on a pair of tights and a skirt this morning of being viewed as an attractive object, especially not by a pubescent boy. what if i did though? what if his interpretation of me wasn't so incorrect and offensive? what if i let him keep touching me inappropriately and saying flirtatious things to me? me, an adult in my mid-twenties, towards a middle school boy?
in no world would that be ok. if i had been feeling up and overly-complimenting a CHILD at my place of work, holy shit would there be reports about me. so a child acting that way could never be ok either. if it'd be firable for me to be reciprocating that action, then that action should not be happening to me. ever. and that child should never repeat that action again to any other adult again.
like i am simply not there to be treated as an attractive young woman. i put on a skirt that shows too much knee and get paired with a boy, though, and that's apparently just a natural consequence. hooo-ly shit. like i don't know what to do. first of all, the more time passes since this has happened, the more i am just unable to stop thinking about it. i wasn't "hurt" or too emotional in the moment but i'm just still processing it and it gets worse. i'm just more and more disgusted.
i don't know what i expect to come out of this, or the email i sent to his regular para. like, am i gonna have to attend a fucking meeting? what is the precedent that this sets for him? WHY do i feel BAD for him about this? well, because he's a child, of course. a child who has done wrong he may not be able to understand. but he knows WHAT he did. he just doesn't know WHY it was wrong.
and i couldn't even say something to him that was like, "well, how would you like it if i was touching you like this?" because young boys do not understand how inappropriate it'd be. i'm sure this kid thought he was gonna get away with what he was doing at the very least. but probably not unlikely he (being a child with no concept of how wrong it'd be) thought he could get some sort of "positive" attention for treating me like this. either way he was simply doing what he wanted to do, with no perspective of how it would make me feel or that it could be classified as harassment. teenage boys think it'd be awesome if the older attractive woman would reciprocate their affections. they're wrong. i, as the older attractive woman of his affection, cannot be the one to convince him of that, though.
i don't know. i don't know. like it's just so not ok. but if i didn't tell another adult about this, he would've gotten away with it. he would probably do it again. and him being in trouble for it is not the same as him understanding that it was wrong. unless someone has a REAL talk with him about inappropriate attention and consent, it's not unlikely that he'll just repeat the behavior in a setting where he thinks he won't be caught or told on. THAT'S the problem. me, i could just never have to be this boy's para again. in my email, i didn't say that i would never be ok working with or around him ever again. he already knows i didn't like it and i'm not afraid to tell on him; as far as that lesson applies to me, individually, i think he's become too ashamed to repeat that.
i don't know. i don't know. i very much expressed that i, i guess, "forgave" him in the email that i wrote. i clarified that i was writing it for the sake of having it on the record. i think that could potentially be very important for the purposes of preventing further similar or escalating behavior from him in the future. i don't want him to be in trouble. i don't think i will be blamed for this, especially not with how promptly i acted, although i don't know to what extent this will be framed as me thinking i'm a "victim." i'm not... i don't feel victimized. i feel disgusted. i feel afraid for the sake of what could happen to or with him in the future, if he thinks behavior like his towards me today is ok.
i feel like if i end up having to further respond to this, this will be made about me. in a way it kind of was. is? in the moment it was happening, it was certainly about me. because i was the one this boy was giving all this unwanted attention to. but to make the consequences of this about me and to involve me any further, i also don't want. because i said what i said already, i don't care if a student has a crush on me. this isn't about me being the pretty substitute. i'm the pretty substitute all the time, to tons of people. that's not really something i've been concerned about up until now.
but do i have to reexplain my personal embarrassment? that i was wearing a skirt? that he was ogling my legs? really? what more do i have to gain from sharing that, other than having the adults at my place of work confirm or deny me in their heads as the pretty substitute? i don't know. perhaps that's REALLY overthinking it. but i don't want to be the substitute that caused a problem for this special ed kid. i don't wanna be the reason that he can't be around me anymore, the person people think of when they're monitoring how he's acting around girls and young women. i DON'T want to be the one people think of when they think of his past misbehavior. i'm NOT here for that.
that's just fucking humiliating. and in this being a thing that could follow him, i have to be ogled and touched over and over again in people's minds for this to be taken seriously. but for this to be swept under the rug would be even worse, no? i don't know. i hate this. the principal is a nice guy; i wouldn't be surprised if he and/or people from the special ed department reached out to me sympathetically about this. but i don't wanna be reached out to. i don't wanna have ppl i work with tell me "sorry that kid was just so attracted to you he couldn't help himself" like come on. if the kid himself doesn't change then i don't really care to remember this incident. and no one reaching out to me and saying they've talked to this kid will actually prove to me he understands. this is the kind of inappropriate behavior it takes years for people to understand why it was wrong, especially a child who has no idea. i mean come on.
#tales from diana#long post#sorry i should probably put this under a read more but it was just a long stream of consciousness#and idk. im tired. im so tired#do you wanna be known as the substitute teacher a kid kept touching inappropriately? probably not#thank god for the first para i told bc she took it really seriously seemingly. i mean idk what she told him in their conversation#not EXACTLY what she told him. she obviously said this was wrong and she reiterated in learning center again#that if that were her daughter she'd be through the roof and that she'd be telling his regular para#i mean of course i had to tell the regular para directly. i would rather it come from my mouth#i'm the one who has the most information of how and why it happened. i think other ppl telling it would just reduce it to#'he thought she was so pretty and he kept staring at and touching her legs cuz she wore a skirt' like come on#the indignity of that!#i already feel undignified enough.#and also thank god for the social studies teacher. the more im processing this the more im like thank god#i dont know him well. he had already been a nice dude to me before in my interactions w him#like as a sub you notice the people who are really affirming of the strange and irregular work you do#earlier this week i was subbing for the math teacher across the hall for instance and he came in before class started and said#that if anyone's giving me a hard time to just send them to him. bc that group can be a little rowdy/wild#my classroom discipline skills are not that bad where i felt the need to have someone more experienced defend me so to speak#like i know i look young and am assumed to be new. but with most classes. i can handle most misbehavior#i can put my foot down in a way kids normally respect. i know how to keep em on task#and for MOST of the day with this kid that's what i was doing. but if that social studies teacher hadn't done what he did#i might not feel so bold in just straight up walking away from that kid. after saying stop stop stop repeatedly#like he had his own job to do independent of me but i remember the gestures and like. i could cry. he KNEWWWW#that's just a very trustworthy person i feel. he didn't want me to suffer through that any longer#a lot of teachers (unfortunately) largely ignore the kids with paras and/or expect the paras to communicate to the kid exclusively#that teacher is not like that. he was willing to mind that boy while i escaped that situation. so so grateful to him
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
u ever have to back out of a drama explained video bc ur like. i agree that that person was in the wrong but the way youre presenting them is just unsettling
#like theres a difference between 'hey heres a breakdown of who waid what and what happened' and#'look at this zoo animal and what a freak they are for this freak thing they did‚ everyone point and laugh at them wherever they go forever#specifically if you put quirky music and a dramatic voiceover over a clip of someone having a screaming#breakdown in their car telling people to leave them alone i think thats uhhhhhh fucked up no matter what they did#and ppl will always be like 'well they could just log off so its fine' and its like a) didnt we learn in like elementary school that#cyberbullying is still real bullying#like to me that gives the same vibe as 'why didnt they just leave' irt abusive relationship if that makes sense?#like yeah physically they are capable of just logging off. physically they can choose to leave. but theres a lot more#that goes into it than just 'can i physically leave'#like. ppl who do abuse over the internet know how the internet works and know how to use#means other than ohysical strength to keep targets under their control#'if you dont respond to my messages whenever i send them ill kill myself. no i didnt directly say that but#i repeatedly messaged you at times i knew you had just gone to sleep faking suicide attempts making you feel#like its your fault for not being available to respond 24/7'#its 'youre the only person i can talk to about these things no one understands me like you. you are my whole support system and therefore#wholly responsible for my mental health#if you leave me ill have no one so you will be dooming me to fall apart on my own when i need support the most so you can never leave me'#its 'how can you break up with me right now knowing im feeling suicidal‚ its like you want me to kill myself‚ you did this deliberately bc#youre a bad person. my life depends on you staying with me and i will never not be suicidal#and even if i was you saying that would make me feel that way so you can never break up with me or youre responsible for me kmsing#im not saying thats at all the same as ppl taking drama too far and freaking out abiut stuff however i feel like a good portion of it#carries over specifically the fact that. they probably feel like they /have/ to stay logged in‚ to keep their drama public#they have to keep defending themselves and keep reading responses and keep going and going#plus like. of course its the big freakouts that get lots of attention and therefore get even worse#good or bad people like spectacle‚ you never see people calmly resovling disagreements because they.#get calmly resolved then everyone moves on and forgets it. so you only remember the wild ones#like esp for like. kids on tiktok#we all had meltdowns about petty shit at one point or another we just were lucky enough to grow up just before#social medias jumped over to video content so it doesnt have our faces tied to it#idk. i just think ppl should ask themselves 'how would i feel if an audience of thousands was watching my lowest moment like this'
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
the amount of shit that just adds up when you do actual spirit work
#like everything with my ex was vague and just tangentially related#but the amount of stuff in my childhood that directly relates and maps on entirely to the fact that ive worked w hermes + leviathan over#several lifetimes like. yeah i wonder why younger me was fixated on these huge stone pillars and especially the one that was a lightning ro#as if obelisks were something Special and they had some meaning to me i could never begin to address let alone express#and im only now finding out they - are you fucking serious#WELL I JUST FOUND OUT TWO THINGS LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK THANKS WIKIPEDIA#i ok. i was ABOUT to say. that oh they were associated with a certain sun god in ancient egypt and theyre like the rays of the sun#which is relevant to Leviathan's solar connections. i was leaving out the fact that it may be MORE relevant than what im saying#bc i asked him what name he was worshiped under in egypt bc hes fucking everywhere and he said ''atem'' and i was like#''oh i know that name. wasnt that the pharaoh in YGO. i loved that dude and that name stuck out to me but i know nothing about the#god bc i dont like ancient egypt stuff (im neutral)'' but i looked up atem at the time and saw he was a sun god and i was like ''damn#did i actually get that across?? Is that you??'' but i left it alone. bc. i dont trust my fucking self. i thought i made it up. but. wiki:#"Atum's name is thought to be derived from the verb tm which means 'to complete' or 'to finish'. Thus#he has been interpreted as being the 'complete one' and also the finisher of the world#which he returns to watery chaos at the end of the creative cycle.'' are. you. fucking. kidding me.#and the fucking Ka thing when thats a word vital to him. i knew that had to be related to the trimurti are you fucking with me#~abyssal murmurs#leviathan //#Priest //#ANYWAY I GUESS - fucking rooks cawing outside like its about to rain - I GUESS AS I WAS SAYING SPIRIT WORK GETS FUCKING REAL#this was going to go on my main but it took a fucking turn w the egypt stuff
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
@ihatethewest is a radfem who has a huge terf following and often interacts with other radfem blogs (if you search "feminism" on their blog, it's all from radfems)
Anon I think if you go tell them about it directly, it might resolve your issue??
inb4 the rest: I haven't contacted her before posting this reply;; anon i did take your suggestion to search her blog under 'feminism' and originally did see some questionable posts. but as I'm typing this response, I refreshed the search and it appears that she's actively removing rbs from radfems, maybe she got shinigami eyes a little late in the game, who knows. so... anon. did I do anything wrong? I don't think I've reblogged posts with terf radfem content but please let me know if I did thanks 👍
this is not an invitation for any radfems/terfs thinking my blog is friendly to you lot. you will be welcome here once you dismantle the hateful ideology from your mind and are no longer a radfem including you 'cryptos'
#asks#anon#the girls are fighting.txt#I mean if I've rb'd any specific posts that have harmful rhetoric pls let me know. I'll delete it#because yeah. I don't support any transphobia or misandry#while tumblr does seem to want to suggest 'blogs like this one' that have those components of radfem off of @ihatethewest's blog.#i don't see posts of that flavor on their blog? maybe she was radfem back in the day but i'd say it looks like she's not anymore#idk maybe that's where a lot of people start & then realize there are many parts of it that are bad!! u can talk to them directly about it?#I don't want to judge people purely by their past as if their current actions/change don't count.#i don't want to subscribe to 'once an x always an x' especially when it comes to ideology. which is something that CAN change#this is also like the 2nd blog that someone's told me is a radfem but also happens to be black ???#the other one was legit BAD w/ terf shit tho. like that was deserving of calling out. also the person who told me wasnt anon#<- im NOT saying that being black is an excuse/shield for terfism NOR am i saying that black feminism->radfem.#but is it a coincidence?? it is misogynoir on the part of anon???? whats going on folks. what. is. happening.#idk im tired. hey anon! you wanna tell me about other blogs that are for black liberation and aren't 'work with the establishment' liberal?#like im trying to get clued in to aligned struggles. clearly i have a void to fill wrt listening to black folk & im trying to remedy that#thru youtube and tumblr. purity policing is making it... annoying. also people's thoughts can change over time hello#exhibit A right here. I used to be a liberal & thought NPR was the bomb.com lmfao. u think people should start out perfect or be beheaded??#chen yells at clouds. more at 10
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
was lied to again by ppl w pretty good too ehh parents into thinking dynasty rina sawayama was abt shitty parents and not generational trauma, SAD! well theres my tears ricochet
#listen if ur never wanted to end ur life bc of ur parents good for u babes more than good for you infact.#but please never recommend me a song about parents or family again unless u do nott relate to it but know i will#anyway ! back to tswift songs about the trauma of being a young person mistreated nd manipulated by those older than u !#anyway what was that i said the other day. i dont what penelope scott feel better but abt parents#i want tswift wouldve couldve shouldve but abt parents . thank u very muchh#umm.#suicidal ideation mention#ask 2 tag#flappy rambles#edit: looking thru the spotify playlists to deal w this uuhh generational trauma is the same as wht ur going thru right bs#found one with your not sorry and 1 step forward 3 steps back. somone gets itt !!!#also i feel kinda mean bc idk if anyone ever directly recomended me dynasty as a song id relate to and if they did i dont blame them#for not knowing exactly what iv been thru but god did u all give me the impression tht the song was abt shitty parents !!!#shitty is an understatment. but maybe if u didnt all go 'she shldnt say she glad her mom died tho' in response to jennette mcurdy last year#i wld feel comfortable using the actual word i want to to describe them w ppl that arent just luce. just a thought !!!!#god im being bitter for no reason. sorryy. but also im not
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have obtained a new oc and in the process I've already signed myself up for needing to make at least 3 new ocs for his story which he now has despite me initially Intending for him to be a side character for a different side character to hang out with. My townhouse has over 200 characters on it.
#rat rambles#oc posting#he doesn't have an official name yet but he is my silly billy and I love him#also take every him with an asterisk again he's like super new (I just got him today)#although several elements of his story so far have been things Ive been wanting to do for a while so thats a part of why I have so many#ideas for him already since its some stuff I've been wanting to play around with for a while#the real reason he has a chokehold on me rn is that I tripped and made him my 500 thousanth character with identity issues#I <3 characters with a fucked up relationship with their sense of self and what it even means to be themself#oh hes also a magic cat world character because thats what like 90% of my ocs are from at this point lol#and another goop related guy but this time not directly related to every other goop guy#he doesnt interact with any of them or even know most of them exist#long story short hes a robot who used to not be a robot but remembers nothing abt his life before he turned himself into a robot#all he has as reference is a mostly ruined journal his past self kept that is almost entirely unreadable due to it getting soaked in goop#he knows that this was self inflicted and his approximate age but that's abt it in terms of useful information#early story is mostly just him traveling alone trying to see if anyone nearby knows who he is but after going through like 5 or so towns he#starts to get more worried and upset about the whole situation and starts trying to look into some different missing person reports in#hopes that he can find one of himself#he runs out of the savings he had on him pretty quickly though so he had to figure out how to stay afloat while doing his research#'luckily' he meets a man while looking into one case he found who was willing to let him stick around at his place while looking into it#this guy had some investment in these dissapearances because he suspected that they related to his father and hoped to find any sort of#window in what he was up to since he hadnt seen him since he ran away at around 17#spoilers his dad is cake this is still connected to cake nonsense because everything in this world fucking does but the main boy himself#actually has no ties to cake or his activities so thats smth at least#but yeah long story short things get. real bad for my boy after the first few months of staying at this guy's place.#yknow how risa in the future was often used as a weapon of war using some unstable chemicals? yeah guess where that started.#mr daddy issue haver over here may understand that his dad is a bad person but evidently that doesnt stop him from being not much better#currently Im planning on having main boy escape eventually and get stuck in the non magic world where he meets april but that could change#it depends on if I want him to interact with the other stories going on at all or not#I probably wont but I would like to leave myself some wiggle room to let him meet more side characters#like (looks with big sad wet eyes) ginger maybe? please? please april? let me see your sister? that you havent seen in years? please?
0 notes
Text
i dont use the term "zionist" in general discussion because i can be precise and direct with my words without sounding like I'm quoting david duke actually, and its not that hard.
#im sorry but the fact yall will use these words while also not being able to tell if something is a david duke quote or not tells me all#most of you dont know what it means or use definitions created by outgroups or persecutors#its not that hard to use direct speech to address what you have issue with so you dont end up parroting the former kkk grand wizard#i do actually look down on people who use the term haphazardly and generally because you have become no different than david duke#i also think its incredibly interesting yall will define a jewish movement by outgroup definition but lose your goddamn mind if#say for example yall dont let christians define jihad but yet you do here? oooookay i see you#im not actually sorry for being able to avoid falling in to the mass hysteria directly segwaying you into neonazi ideology#like the only time i use the term is talking about actual jewish zionist thought im not gonna call random fucking jewish people that#and the fact yall do is a glaaaaaring red flag#the fact someone had the audacity to ask me why quoting david duke was a problem and that she should be allowed to for The Cause....#no wonder jewish people are scared i am scared for them you all are too fucking stupid#thinking about the quote from the indigenous farmer who lives near my old home#'nothing more dangerous than a group of white people who think they have your best interests at heart' he said when people were demanding#that normies share war gore and he had to detail why thats actually the opposite of helpful for americans#these people dont want peace they want their idea of moral purity and at the cost of the people directly most affected
0 notes
Text
OMFG THIS COMMENT. GUISE. THAT LAST SENTENCE IS SO FUCKING RAW
edit: i see a lot of people arguing over the 'eat the rich' thing and i'd like to clear up my standing currently! i know they aren't the same kind of fancy multi-million corporation that our beloved phrase talks about, and the reason i agree to a point with this comment is that watcher is evidently trying to become that. they're doing some shitty things in regards do disregarding poorer fans, and are seemingly blatantly ignoring the economic crisis by saying 'everyone can afford that!', all in direct contrast to their entire branding of being leftist and openly supporting things like eat the rich.
"You said 'eat the rich' then handed us the forks, laid on the plate, and expected us to spare you?" at least from my understanding isn't flat-out saying watcher are now the rich we eat, but are well on the track to becoming so, and are quickly developing the same ego.
BUT!! don't like people directly hating on steven like that!! they're all grown men who can make their own decisions, and pretending like shane and ryan are out little baby beans and then calling steven evil and whatnot isn't okay. they can all be held equally accountable. though i do somewhat understand being the most disappointed in shane, as he's the one who speaks on shit like eating the rich the most, and is generally more outward with his ideals, so it's perfectly reasonable to feel betrayed more deeply. but bottom line is they're all equally accountable for this decision.
some shit we can't take back. i probably got pissed and said some weird/uncool shit initially because of the intense emotions i was dealing with, which other people amplified. i do regret some of the things i've said to a point when it comes to being hateful, but i can't just un-say it all, so i'm not even going to try. i'm going to leave everything be and allow it to serve as something to look back on for what not to do in future circumstances. while this new path for watcher is, in my opinion, not the smartest and generally really shitty, they're human beings who make mistakes, and they deserve our acknowledgement of that.
in short, i don't like it but i'll stop being a bitch about it because they don't deserve that. also sorry for the wall of (probably incoherent lmao) text i got passionate <3
edit 2: guys. im screaming. the apology was amazing imo and i genuinely think they really mean it, like it doesn't seem bullshitted. i think they realized they fucked up for reals and feel bad. im so happy for them, but also for us as fans. yay :D
#watcher#watcher entertainment#we are watcher#shane and ryan#ryan bergara#ghoul boys#shane madej#i cant even bring myself to type 'all hail the watcher' as a tag anymore#sighhh
7K notes
·
View notes