#im literally shaking thinking abt this
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Look, humping these combat boots are only the beginning. What about giving her mind blowing head for keeping us safe.
anon, listen, u need to understand that this is the best idea u have ever heard. that this is actually getting written down to add in. that this is IT!!!!!!!! sloppiest messiest downright filthy head for the woman i need most aka ellie 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼
#mimi’s love letters#im so cooked chat#im literally shaking thinking abt this#ITS GONNA BE NASTY!!!!!!!!
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ok but the fact that "aziraphale is softening. they haven't spoken in a hundred years: he's realizing they're still friends" and "there's no need to thank me that's what...friends...are for" was in the same night is making me go INSANE
#we NEED to talk more abt the 1941 ep im so serious im not normal about it like i had such high expectations and it suppressed them all.#am i disappointed there wasn't a rejection scene like i predicted?? yes ofc but also aziraphale said he did the apology dance that year so#i wonder what else could've fucking happened#but anyway. let's focus on what DID happen: aziraphale literally GLOWING with love in the car. crowley telling him to shut up cause of a#compliment. aziraphale helping crowley out and crowley looking at him like 'you'd do that for me?'. crowley not only letting aziraphale#practice magic with him but ACTIVELY playing a character to help him and i mean that scene was literally just crowley flirting with him#crowley indulging aziraphale by going to the magic shop with him and agreeing to participate in his show despite the fact that he NEVER EVEN#SHOT A GUN BEFORE. him just leafing thru the guidebook till he realizes there's a miracle blocker than starting to frantically flip thru it#her hands SHAKING on the gun and them being so afraid of hurting az. 'no paperwork :))' sure my guy that's what u r so happy about ofc#'but do u really think it went well' 'absolutely' with such sincerity. the book description saying smth abt ifa demon were to happen across#aziraphale they should report it immediately to the demon crowley. 'you could've just walked away' 'well you said 'trust me'' 'and you did'#its just. its one of my favorite eps it's so nice#good omens#azicrow#good omens s2#aziracrow#go s2 spoilers#go s2#good omens script book#good omens s2 spoilers#aziraphale x crowley
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LMAO just when i thought things couldn’t get any worse my brother is getting physical and insulting me again. because i asked him to move so i could get at some of my shit.
#he literally started throwing an ottoman around 💀 dude has some serious issues#i didn’t even want to take his seat dude was sitting right in front of my phone charger and shit#and saying all this shit abt ‘how i do nothing’ dumbass i take care of the ENTIRE house and lawn so you don’t have to#and even if i didn’t ‘do shit’ that doesn’t give you the right to literally get physical bc i want to get at MY SHIT#i want to die i dont even give a fuck what he THINKS of me anymore he’s clearly deranged but when he starts screaming and throwing shit at#me. it triggers my ptsd SO badly#he’s literally picked me up and thrown me to the ground bc of this exact issue#literally what is his fucking problem#now im sitting here shaking :))))#abuse tw#<- jic#dlt ltr
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I've been looking for this one au where Len basically becomes a mad scientist and turns his friends into robots one by one for a while now, and I'm beginning to realize that I just read through your blog while half asleep a few months back and mixed together my memories of your flower hivemind and composite au
this is very funny to me. i'm absolutely honored this blog's posts were enough to evil-farming-game an entire vocaloid au into your memories 😂
i can give you this doodle; it's composite au but i'm sure it'd fit very well with this theoretical mad scientist len au lololl
#ask#anonymous#this is ALSO funny to me bc of 'mad scientist' and 'flower hivemind au' in the same paragraph. it reminds me of an old scrapped idea#i had about where tf the flowers even came from in the first place but i ended up never doing anything w/ it#i've been thinking abt composite au though uag i want to do more w/ it... rip the unfinished refs and one google doc thing i have#shaking myself like ITS OKAY IF THE STORY KINDA SUCKS AT FIRST!! YOU NEED TO START SOMEWHERE#cus i mean i wouldve never gotten anywhere w/ Certain Things had i not started with the og shitty versions. which were SHIT#but its wild to think ~7 years later i transmogrified them into the things they are now. wack. makes me wonder what will happen#to stuff im making now later down the line if i go and revisit it. SO CONCLUSION YES BITCH GET OVER YOUR FUCKING ANXIETY#i think my other problem is i'd loveee to reveal it slowly with like art pieces comics etc but i dont got time for that 😔😔#CURSE WITH LITERALLY EVERYTHING I MAKE TBH not just fandom shit but original shit too. i need to get over myself#cause i do know respectfully not everyone has the skill/time/desire to pick apart things for symbolism so a clearer explanation#would prob be more accessible. and easier for ME TOO TO HAVE SHIT IN ONE FUCKING PLACE MAN. actually how i've been taking notes lately#sorry these are some longass fucking tags im talking to myself. just went into a new academic year w a lot of stress#so thinking abt my own crazy stories keeps me sane and makes me feel like i have control over at least SOME aspect of my life#anyways circling back mad scientist len sounds incredible lowkey though lmao. its always the stem lens 😔💔✌️#JK?? but i do joke abt composite au len partly going insane bc he's a biochem major essentially so yeah bitch i fucking get it 😭 no wonder
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ppl will literally ignore maples character, her quite literal PROGRAMMED LOVE FOR HIYORI and somehow make it about shipping. like i love maple ships dont get me wrong(im literally the ceo of mapiley) but please. dont ignore . that she is still programmed to love hiyori, and the only reason why its like that is to make sure she doesnt kill him. she cant be fixed that easily, its in her code to do so. at most she can be 'fixed' by rewriting her code but.. would that make the other person any better than hiyori in the end?
#this is why i personallily . believe that maple is an ai and not just a robot#i know a lot of ppl think that (w/ her being based off a real person.. which i dont like personailly but whatever) but#ais are taught w/ outside knowlage#sometimes even breaking out of their set code (like seen w/ chatbots in the past)#shaking . im not normal abt that robotgirl#letters from the underworld#maple yttd#yttd#i guess ?? idk this is literally just a mini rant#ranting it up
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[running in circles] i appear to be experiecing blorbo illness type 2
#type 1 being deranged abt hot guys (rex- volo etc etc)#type 2 being 'character in a childhood show i had a kida embarassing crush on as a kid and now they are like a deranged nephew to me'#'weird crush' to 'im goig to study u like a bug- put u in a milk jar and shake u aroud then plap u against the wall' pipieline#'this kid is deeply unhinged i must rotate them'#like a year and a bit ago i had this with eddie from lloyd in space and now its king bob time#though admittedly with eddie being one of the main 4 characters and llyod in space eps being longer theres more for me to say there#whilst with king bob its more [king playing his part VERY seriously] + [is literally like. 12] = [GUTTURAL WHEEZE]#well that and worldbuildig thoughts abt how the playgroud monarchy and all that but otherwise its just heh. funneys#deranged little goblin. i just think he's neat#i do feel a little better abt the weird crush as a kid once i saw like. 5 other peopel sayig the same in the recess tag KJGNDSGKJGNDKJGS#they put something in him for like. 8 year old weird little girls i guess#no fucking clue WHAT but hey#luke rambles
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so much holiday prep to do and all i can do is be pissed off and want to write porn i don’t have time for. tragic
#im such a holiday person and such a detail person but this year the motto is fuck it who cares#im going 2 put in minimal effort and get maximum enjoyment. this is the plan.#house a mess? fuck it who cares. gifts kinda simple? fuck it who cares. decor minimal? fuck it who cares.#it’ll all be Fine.#it literally snowed it looks like a winter wonderland. trying 2 focus on this#the world will keep spinning. and i will write more porn.#peace and joy on planet earth.#thinking abt minuscule men shaking and trembling while wrapping presents#its fuelling me.#message delivered
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HAPPY BIRDYAYAYY!! YIPPEE
I accidentally tripped and dropped ur cake so I got u this lil guy to make up for it
WHAT THE HELL U DREW ME A DUCK PLUSH FROR MY BIRTHDAY IM GONNA CRY AND SCREAM IRL
WHATEEVER I LOVE HIM I DONT EVEN LIKE CAKE AND I DIDNT GET TO EAT ANY TODAY ANYWAYS AAUUWOOOO
#SAW THIS MID ONLINE COLLEGE CLASS AND HAD TO NOT CRY IT WAS SO HARD#YOOOUU#IM ABT TO MAKE U DROP A KOFI OR A PAYPAL OR A PATREON OR ANYTHING IM GONNA FORCE UR HAND#[SHAKING U BY UR LAPELS] WHEN IS UR BDAY!!!!!!!!!! TELL ME!!!!!!!!!#YOURE GETTING A DRAWING OF UR LITTLE DEMON ANGEL BOYS I SWEAR IT ON MY BIRTHDAY CHEER I SWEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!#idk their names. crow boy and aphizaley. i think.#ILL LOOK UP REFERENCES AND IM LITERALLY GOING TO#I REFSE TOLET THIS KINDNESS GO UNPAID THIS IS SO SWEET I CANT BELIEVE IT#MADE MY DAY TRULY THANK U#BUT ALSO DROP THAT BIRTH DAY RIGHT NAAAOOOW!!!!!!#YOURE GETTING A DRAWING NO MATTER WHAT U HAVE NO CHOICE ANYMORE I AM GOING TO RENDER THOSE BOYS LOVINGLY!!!!!!!!!!#bday wishes
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so has anyone on the face of this planet read vN by Madeline Ashby because I'm losing it a little
#javier......................do you understand how important you are to me#javier please stop eating out of the garbage for one second so i can talk to you#anyway no spoilers but this book is literally about cannibalistic pregnant robots#pregnancy as generational trauma but also pregnancy as eating disorder based trauma#but also cannibalism as love and cannibalism as parenthood and cannibalism as torture AND cannibalism as self harm#if you are at all interested in this pls look up trigger warnings because they are ROUGH and even when you think they won't br#they come out so much worse than you think#(also it can be hard to find info abt them so lmk if you need specifics)#javier has joined the list of android men i want to shake in a jar#''it takes a man to be a single mother'' was written for him#also if you want to read this PLEASE read ''the education of junior no. 12'' by the same author first#its a better intro to the world/the mechanics i think and its all about javier#and it makes his character have a lot more layers to his behavior#idk im not finished yet but i like it a lot so far#vN#madeline ashby
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ok gameplan im gonna ask dad on saturday if hed be willing to buy the stable and if he says no ill "downgrade" to just 2 horses (a percheron and a fjording is what im aiming for) and hopefully he says yes ^_^
Hopefully moms right abt him doing literally anything for me and all i have to do is look at him with my autistic eyes and ask really nicely and hell cave but idk....
#literally shaking crying throwing up thinking abt this#i think im not depressed anymore bc all my pre depression hyperfixations are coming back:3#which is nice but now if dad doesnt get a horse ill literally kill myself#mechtalks
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i Ɛ> feeling reality split
#thinking abt the time our house almost caught fire & the only reason it didnt was bc i happened to be in my room the window to my right & i#just happened to see the smoke coming through the bushes & then saw them go up in flames & i was able to yell to my parents that they were#on fire & we just happened to get outside with the hose in time & the neighbors kids just happened to also see it & so we were able to put#it out but it got like 5ft from the house. & i spent a GOOD WHILE afterwards convincing myself that that was how it actually happened & that#it hadnt actually reached the house & my room hadnt actually burned & i wasnt actually dead & just watching from the perspective of an#alternate version of myself that survived (ie u know. the real actual version of me right now. & all the things that did actually happen)#& somehow i STILLLLLL cant shake the feeling when i think back on it that no i did die & all of this is fake this is a fake version of me &#im not real rn bc im actually dead .#ANYWAY TOTALLY NOT LIKE TRAUMATIZED BY IT OR ANYTHING#literally just trying to fucking fall asleep & my brain is like hey remember that time u died in a fire for realsies not imaginary#four years ago. four years & were still doing this shit this isnt even the only example of this its just the most extreme i think#but it really did feel like everything split there. there is a version of me that survived & there is a version of me that didnt & i know#which one i am but do i really? do i??
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i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.
#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing#but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day#while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes#and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her#but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work#and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to#but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat#what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me#and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even#b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it#i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified#theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying#but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly#idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me#me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in#that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i#saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage#for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god#idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week#and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice#i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel#hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in#touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment#a2t#i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it#graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol
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i amso fucking tired
#at least I'll probably get more sleep tonight than last night#inshallah i will. im so exhausted#whatever whatever at least the old men kissed#i kept thinking abt them all day mid work which from the outside looked like me just#mindlessly working and then randomly doubling over or starting to shake violently#granted i got heatstroke after about an hour so lets just blame that#everyone else is still awake and partying like DUUUDE HOW. IM ABOUT TO PASS OUT#barking#this day would've been exhausting as it was but i literally got like. no sleep#what little i did get was half awake at best#at least im done with 1 day👍#it's gonna pass by soooo quickly. it's nothing. i can do this
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Is there any non-spoilery way you could talk about how isat isn't just about timeloops? because like I do want to check the game out eventually for sure if only because indie fun times but I'm busy for a while before I get the time and tbh I'm just not as curious because I don't know how it's gonna break that formula (also ngl no colors makes me lose 50% interest because I like. looking at colors. lots.)
UHM OK WELL UM. hm. how DO i do this without spoiling anything. im very not good at describing things especially things i Really enjoy so how do i put this . hold on i might need to look at some reviews so i know how to words. ok
as a disclaimer i havent fully interacted with a lot of (if any??) media that has timeloops so i cant say for certain what it does differently from similar media that makes it stand out from others. at the same time ive never seen something that is so directly About Timeloops in this way even if i consider stuff ive heard about in passing but i could be wrong (madoka n utena come to mind ?). ill try to think abt the things that arent Just timeloop related plus the stuff u mentioned and hope that helps it feel more interesting and less generic?
i think one of the main things i can say is that it Really makes you feel what the protagonist is feeling. more than anything ive ever watched or played or whatever . and thats saying a LOT given how much i empathize with protags in games. and its not even just an empathy thing here. both the story progression and the gameplay work in such a way that you experience pretty much everything the same way they do, while still having their own personal stuff u can learn about of course
on that note tho. that is actually something to be careful of for a few reasons. i know ur generally pretty good with darker content so i doubt thatll be a problem for u here (its not that bad tbh but there is IS a warning when u open the game/look at the steam page and it aint lying) but. due to the nature of timeloops. it CAN get tiring and this is very much intended. and this helps a lot w the story and themes in a way that its. like. think how kh days does repetition on purpose. its a lot like that (although i had way easier of a time getting thru isat than days? i cant remember how u feel abt days' gameplay but i think it was positive ? either way getting thru isat was way more bearable than days imo). it does do a good job at balancing this with a couple mechanics that mean u dont have to repeat everything all the time (i had like. Very few actual full loops by the time i finished) and theres ALWAYS new things happening, even if ur super thorough with everything. its pretty easy to do things at whatever pace u feel like and if u wanna focus on the main story only to make it easier it wouldnt take too much away from the experience (tho i do encourage talking to the npcs at least a few times), and theres always a goal to work towards. also dialogue skipping and the banana peel are ur best friends
sort of adding onto that. it really, really helps that u are sharing the experience with the protagonist. not only does that help u relate to them (even if u dont share as many traits w them as i do akvdjsn) but theyre probably the most beloved character in the game and for good reason!! its really fun to see their interactions with the rest of the main cast and the npcs, and watch them all develop in different ways throughout the game. and my goodness all of the characters are beautifully written - at first ur kinda thinking ok its a ragtag group of sillies in an rpg whats new. but their personalities and relationships and hobbies and problems and everything about them is just so well done.. they feel so natural. human even. every conversation feels real to me. one of the main themes of the game is the concept of change, and each of them represent and approach it differently, both positively and negatively. its hard not to fall in love with them as individuals and as a group because they just have so much going on, even the ones i didnt expect to like at all!!
the worldbuilding is also a fun spin on fantasy rpg worlds. it mostly revolves around the area u play in bc well. of course it does. but its vv interesting to learn about all the different cultures within the world and how they interact with and build on the themes of the game. theres all sorts of queer stuff going on and its all handled like a love letter to people who relate, and i can feel it even with what i dont relate to at all!! the way "magic" works and the ways people use it in battle and everyday life is super cool too, makes the whole thing feel a lot more believable and realistic :3 i dont wanna talk abt any specifics bc its more fun to learn abt this stuff ingame
OH AND THE TEXT.. EFFECTS?.. idk what to call that but the way dialogue (both internal and external) is written and programmed is funky as hell (affectionate). it was weird at first bc oftentimes (mostly for humor) its like. almost the way i type actually?? which feels strange in a legit game but it Works. it works so well and adds tone and vibes and a Voice in a way u usually cant get in a game without any voice acting. deltarune is also good at that but this one does it differently enough for me to consider it unique
HAVE I MENTIONED THE ART STYLE i love the art style . its so charming and expressive especially all the talking sprites n battle portraits. simultaneously silly n adorable while fully capable of being serious. and creepy. anyway look at the sillies i love them n their designs dearly (especially Siffrin (1st on the left) and Mirabelle (2nd on the left))
also on that note, the lack of colors....... i both totally understand being put off by that (i also love looking at colors n this part made me feel weird abt it when i was thinking abt getting it at first) and personally enjoy it? without saying anything spoilery (bc its really not), its just another part of the worldbuilding and themes that i now find really fun :3 should be noted that i usually have an anti blue light filter so it mightve been easier to look at w the yellowish tint going on. maybe it even looks better that way ? kinda reminded me of old films now that i think abt it.. neat!!
as a last thing i couldnt quite insert somewhere else. it is equal parts a comedy and a tragedy, and it is so, so effective at accomplishing this. the humor is fantastic and adds to the games' and characters' personality, every tragic moment is . for lack of a better word or phrase. absolutely fucking delicious. and i adore how well it can shift from one to the other gradually or in an instant, or just be both at once!!!! yippee!!!!!!!
aaand thats all i can say. i have no idea if that cleared anything up BUT i encourage u to give it a try bc i do think youd like it in the end. u probably wouldnt finish it as fast as i did but that might be a good thing jfbskndj but yeah!!!! in stars and time!!!!!! its good and i love it!!!!!!!!
#this started as me actually answering ur question n evolved into me gushing abt whatever i could get away with without revealing anything;;#literally started shaking as soon as u sent this i got so excited skgcjsbksns#(guy whos still reeling from writing several essays in 72 hour timeframe voice) i need to write an essay length post on this#i think i said a few words way too often here but im too tired to think abt that. head empty#also as a side note it works perfectly on my shitty computer that has trouble running 3ds emulator stuff so i can guarantee ur good there#theres SO MUCH i wish i could say but its either spoilers or hints too much at things that could lessen the experience. alas#it does have its flaws as all games do but its so worth it. so so worth it. im considering 100%ing it bc i just cant be done with it yet#OH its also on itchio if youd rather get it there#if ur not willing to put money into it bc u dont wanna waste it i will legit let u sign into my steam accoutn and download i am so serious#there IS a demo. but i actually recommend not playing it first. this will make things easier in the long run#ANYWAY!!!!!!! THANK U FOR THE ASK!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3#ask#mortellanarts
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IM SUCH A FUCKING LESBIAN FUCJ
#LITERALLY SHAKING AND BITING BECAUSE OF MY OVERWHELMING HIGH ASS LESBIAN FEELINGS#listening to chappell roan & biting my fists because I love being queer so fucking much im such a lesbian holy fuck#also lowkey gay spiraling bc im thinking abt the person ive been going out with#im so gay#oh im IN IT comrades........#not in love or anything just super lezzing out rn#personal#emma rambles
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weirdly rly motivated to work out today let's go
#well its not that weird i like exercise but ive just been finding it difficult the past week. but hyped this morning#gonna do this bike loop should be 1.5-2 hours. and then if i still have juice left when i get back ill do 40 mins of triceps too#one great thing abt getting into working out is that it becomes self motivating after a while. partly bc its associated w reward#either like literal reward (protein shake) or emotional (satisfaction + endorphin/neurotransmitter release)#but also bc some days i dont rly wanna and then ill think hm but my arms do look rly good today.. and then im like Well-#the health benefits of exercise and whatever are great but thats never been enough to push me to do it by itself#like lets be real. most of my drive comes from getting a kick out of feeling and looking strong...#nothing wrong w being a bit vain tho 😚 i think the most crucial thing if u wanna integrate exercise into ur life more is being honest-#abt what u wanna get out of it most. and adjusting ur attitude to it around that in a positive way#ur never gonna stick to an exercise routine if ur motivating urself w negativity and shame and talking urself down#or at least its never worked for me! maybe it does for some ppl tho lol#anyway im procrastinating now cuz i have to take the front wheel off my bike to carry it downstairs which is an annoying task#but just imagining a dyke seeing the bike grease on my hands and sweat on my arms and getting flustered... okay yeah im going now#.diaries
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