#im like happy it happened right as i got off the MASSIVE tailend of one of my emotional down distraughts
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I HAVE TO GO ON A LONG CAR TRIP WITH FRIENDS MY LOVED ONES AND I WOULD BE SO HAPPY EXCEPT THE VOICES AHHHHHHHHHHH
#i HATE having NO CONTROL i just need SOME just a SEMBLANCE even#or i will be MUUUCH MOOOORE. SELFISH#literally my beloved will be in the car with me and im still thinking horrible things like#I HATE ANCIETY OVER HORRIBLE THINGS I HATE BEING HORRIBLE ARGGHHHHHHHHH#I HATE NOT KNOWING BUT I ALSO HATE KNOWING I HATE EVRYTHING ARGGGHHHHHHH#literally staying up late rn bcs i dont have to drive so hopefully i can sleep thru most of the ride#and wake up happy for the rest and LALAALLALAAAA#IM SO FUCKING SCARED RN#it's ok#AAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH#im like happy it happened right as i got off the MASSIVE tailend of one of my emotional down distraughts#BUT NOW I CAN FEEL SO MANY THINGS ALL AT ONCE AT FULL FORCE AND I DONT W#it just HAAAD to happen. a scenario that i cant control. right when i got my highcomplex back#IF THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE HUMBLING I DONT FUCKIN!!! WANT IT RN!!#BCS THIS IS A TIME WHERE I CAN BE VERY SELFISH BUT AT LEAST I CAN ACTUALLY BE HAPPY FOR A LITTLE W#wait thats selfish too UGH CAN I EVER JUST BE HA#whateverWTEVER WTEVER ANYWAYS lol ANYWAYS waateeverrr
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