#im like 'heres what im doing and why' bitch no ones listening
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giffing somthing (not jhope sry) but the way im talking to myself in my head like im teaching a giffing masterclass and its driving me a little bit insane
#im like 'heres what im doing and why' bitch no ones listening#i came quite close to livestreaming my giffing one time but i couldnt figure it out n then they got rid of tumblr live 🤷#i still think it would be fun but idk
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Me watching the new strsy kids promo seeing these bitches in a fucking school bus with clown masks on knowing full well I will never be able to escape the cultural impacts of the Nolan Batman movies
#fucking 26 year old aussie boy chris i should have known you were a dark knight enjoyer#this is not me dissing on the dark knight series it is a good time but like...I just....wish...every where i looked#i didnt see his ((the jocker's)) face#like bitch im sick of this guy#the why so serious line in Cheshire and now this!???#pls pls pls pls pls dc actually kill this man for me already his pussy is so rank#i hate it so much#anyway tho not to kpop post on main but like....wait i just remembered i literally have a side blog i vould do this on loolllll#staying here tho...listen to my words boy!!!#but uhhhh...okay now i cant remember what i was evem talking about#the memory issues are memory issuing#basically i want the joker dead and i think i should be the one who gets to do it
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#unprecedented emotions in this body o mine. like. this may b surprising given the amount of bitching i do on this website#but let me assure u irl i am exceptionally patient. but right now. there is a limit and that is where we now stand#and again this is prob my fault but ive come to the conclusion that fuck these custom chambers. fuck the amount of work that went into them#fuck all of this. im not fucking using them. i will sit here with this one fucking bryophite chamber if it takes me all goddam day bc at#least i fucking trust the values. that means ill have to split up measurements by 2 days but fuck u im right abt this#the solution is: u cant fucking do 98 samples at once. that it. im sorry. fuck u#and i would probably have come to this conclusion earlier if i had thr time to test but doing it all rught now with no fucking room for#grace makes it very fucking clear. so idk. im not fucking using the chambers. and im not looking forward to explaining this to my boss#bc shes so excited abt this project that i have been dreading since its conception. i started with the 3 chambers and it was somehow#even more awful than i would have imagined. fuck that. 2 or 3 fucking weeks of this#and im not even getting paid for all the extra work i do bc i don't get overtime. im not even technically allowed to work weekends or over#40hrs a week. im just doinf this bc im already so miserable why thr fuck not.#hhhhh im being such a brat abt this for real. ugh but i dont wanna meet with my boss#bc this feels like the time where i have to explain that like. listen. u know that thing im really good at and have spent fucking hour and#hours and hours and hours of time doing? well its catastrophically destructive to my brain and thats whats landed us here#where im so fucking fed up that i wanna quit. clean cut and never work with this stuff ever again#and if i have to use the 3 chambers i might die. i might just evaporate away into a million pieces bc i dont wanna deal with this#but i dont wanna explain that bc then shell feel bad and this isnt her fault. i have an issue thats out of my control and im letting it#devour me whole so like 🤷♂️ its my fault bleh#whatever. itll be fine. ive got a coherent argument as to why this is too much. and i kno im fucking right so there it is#i feel like that helps me make decisions: heres what has to happen. heres whats preventing that from happening#and there it is. it either u can fix it or u cant. thats it. u deal with the things in ur control#lol at least im not alone to stew in my anger. im working with 2 other ppl today. so i mean i say that im fucking furious bc im visual fine#lol bc im a patient and level headed person irl im just really whiney online bc i have no outlet. so itll b fine. decision made now we just#deal with it. ugh but how tf am i gonna distract myself from how miserable this is all day? thats the real question#brain gets Interrupted ever 5 min bleh agony#unrelated
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i HATE group projects SO fucking much - sunday ‘do we have a powerpoint?’ no so i make the powerpoint & load it w information, w the expectation that they’re going to FILL IT IN OR ADD ANYTHING, ‘let’s meet wednesday at 10a :)’ ‘we can do that’ bro it’s nearly 11am, im the only bitch ON campus & the only one that’s TOUCHED the presentation im going to KILL YALL
#stream#YALL GOING TO WISH YALL WERE THE ONES THAT JUMPED#IM SO FUCKING MAD#WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i’m not even touching it i’m just sitting here#listening to the without warning album & bitching#i mean also i’m high as fuck i’m literally at the end of my rope bc also last night i looked at the available classes for summer#& the only 1 i can take is stats for political science :))))#the sINGLE FUCKING CLAAS IVE BEEN AVOIDING#so i’m going to graduate#having taken statistics something like 5 or 6 times#what’s funny abt that is that i literally remember nothing from any of the classes
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#i wanted the gif but couldnt find it. just imagine hes like subtly shaking lmao#ANYWAYS im just here to bitch and moan and complain because im sooooooooooooooooooooooooo annoyed over really small things 🙏😊#* ** ***** ** **** ******. im so fucking frustrated man i know what i wanna say but whenever i type it out it doesnt come out Right#basically i just want ** **** *** but i CANT because of ***** *** and its so fucking annoying because i am treated like its my fault???#and i could simply explain the Actual reason except oh! thats right. no one gives a fuck. like genuinely no one listens when i try to say.#i just get Completely ignored. and im literally going fucking mental and no one. cares. its just 'oh calm down' like why am i never allowed#any fucking emotions? i hate that i have to do everything myself and everything depends on me. * **** ****. * **** ** ** *****.#idk what im expecting to get out of this. im just so tired and ***. i wish i was in a world where i could only exist and depend on myself#but im not. there are certain things that i Have to get other ppl to do. and those are the things that never get done because it doesnt just#depend on me. i love that i always have to be there to help other ppl and do their bidding but as soon as i want/need anything#i 1. feel so astronomically unworthy to even ask in the first place ******* ** **** ****** ** **** *** * **** ******* ********#and 2. no one wants to. no one ever fucking wants to and im sick and tired of the embarrassment from asking and being ignored so i just#stopped. asking.#i dont know what the fuck im supposed to do. * **** * *** **** ** * ***** *** ******* ** **** * **** ***** **#le text post
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#“mental health awareness” is a joke#literally everytime ive tried reaching out to somone theyve. Left or went#“well damn that sucks. sorry dude” and didnt offer anything else#i understand the idea that other people have shit going on#but i try not to come out the gate saying i have real issues with suicidal ideation. self isolation#and general negative thoughts about myself that are. straight up not helpful#this is why i fucking hate when people talk about their friends or loved ones like#“ooh they were so nice and funny tho. they seemed so happy :(”#bitch no one listens when we DO reach out#nothing feels appropriate as an oppener#ive literally been told that other people have their own problems too#like okay man#im literally battling for my fucking life here. sorry to hear your life is also stressful#i know for my personal experience. im NICER to people who make small comments about being sad#or if someone were to approach me personally. id try to make them feel better!!#what the fuck!!!! What The Fuck!!!!#why is my life a black fucking hole#i dont even have that sweet curteousy of friends who dote on me at all
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How do me and my mother manage to get into a fight every fucking day I want to dieeeeee how have we fought about bullshit and it’s not even ten in the morning like what the fuck I’m so fucking miserable and no one likes me they all make fun of me I need to move out or I’m going to fucking ruin my life !!!!! (Also why won’t my fucking period just start so I can get all of these emotions to stop bothering me!!!)
#literally been home for less than three days and every interaction with my mother has felt like a punch to the gut#today she was bitching to me about my brother leaving his hoodie and his hat on/around the couch he sits on and my mom was bitching about#how he leaves his shit everywhere and whatever else and I was like dude you gotta cut him some slack yknow like he’s been used to living in#a dorm and having a living space where he could be a person and my mom proceeded to be like ‘he doesn’t live here’ AND IM LIKE HE DOES NOW#HE GRADUATED AND MOVED BACK HOME AND YOURE TREATING HIM LIKE A CHILD HE IS DOING ONLINE COURSES AND LOOKING FOR JOBS AND YOU TREAT HIM LIKE#A CHILD#UGHHHH#my mother then proceeded to once again tell me off for being bossy and telling her what to do and I’m sitting here like maybe you should try#fucking listening to me then and treating my brother like a part of the family instead of like company#I know he’s in the guest room technically but he’s part of this fucking family and you and I both have side tables to put shit on its not#his fault that he put his jacket on the couch he has no where else to put it he’s gonna wear it again next time he comes out like what the#fuck why is she such a bitch and then she gets mad at me like idk what you want from me#I used to never get along with my brother and now I’m defending him to you and you act like he’s the worst person ever#like why do you hate your children so much why do you love him but you hate me I’m so sick of crying over mommy issues#but if my mother could just like me that would be incredible I really feel like everyone hates me constantly and no one wants me around and#I try to defend my brother and be nice and it only makes my mother hate me so I just go into my room bc I’ve tried over and over again to be#nice to my mother and apparently I’m doomed to just fucking hate her and have everything I say be an insult or some nit picky bullshit bc my#mouth won’t stop saying whatever my brain is thinking and I keep apologizing and then I keep saying shit it’s like I have the happiest two#few days after months of being alone and miserable and then I come home and immediately it’s like my mother just no longer likes me#I feel like I’m stuck in perpetual coming home from a sleepover mode#do you guys remebrr that? coming home from a sleepover after being happy and your family would instantly make fun of you for being happy or#excited or wanting to talk about the sleepover and then you’d cry and go into your room and feel like shit bc everyone hates you and then#you’d start to assume that everyone at the sleepiver thought the same thing as your family and thought you were annoying and interrupting#their lives by being happy I mean whatttt haha yeah did that happen to anyone else or just me 😭👍👍👍👍#life recently feels like it’s me being happy vs me realizing joy doesn’t last vs me needing to ruin my own joy so someone else doesn’t do i#first. I have very strong need to hurt myself before someone else can energy but all it does is make sure I get hurt twice cause someone’s#always gonna hurt my feelings and not care so I should be showing myself compassion but all I want to do is tear my skin apart#been so fucking depressed since I got home I’m fucking miserable and my family hates me I hate everything and I’m so stressed I hate this#anyways 😭😭😭😭 can’t stop crying recently after not crying for months now talking about anything makes me cry and I hate it#I’m embarassing myself constantly bc I can’t hold back from crying
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This Is About Oscar?! (OP81)
Summary: Y/n’s new song exposes a side of Oscar no one knew about.
Warnings: the whole thing is basically just about sex, language
y/nnn Surprise! 34+35 out tonight 💗
Comments:
oscarpiastri i think its pretty good
- y/nnn you only think that for one reason and we both know it
Liked by oscarpiastri
oscpastry guys… 34+35= 69……..
- mclarensgirly i fear we are getting the WHOLE story
- pieasstree YOU FEAR??? I WANNA KNOW
- mclarensgirly I MEAN ME TOO BUT HOW WILL WE LOOK BABY OSCAR IN THE EYE AFTER???
landonorris im scared oscar hasnt stopped smiling all day
- oscarpiastri what can i say? Its not everyday your girlfriend writes a song about you
- y/nnn babe youve heard the song im not sure you want to go broadcasting it that its abt you
- oscarpiastri are you kidding????? Of course i do
—
y/nnn 34+35 out now (oscar wanted me to make it known the song is about him 🤦🏼♀️)
Comments:
oscpastry THIS SONG??????? IS ABOUT?????? OSCAR PIASTRI?????? THE RACING DRIVER??????? FOR MCLAREN???
- mclarensgirly YEAH WTF ARE WE MISSING SOMETHING
- pieasstree “you drink it just like water, you say it taste like candy” WHO IS THIS MAN
oscarpiastri this is the best day of my life
- pastry81 i dont know who you even are anymore
- f1butmore-mclaren how did mclaren even sign off on this
- y/nnn its my music i choose what i release all that mattered was if oscar was comfortable (he was comfortable to a degree that was concerning)
- oscarpiastri real
landonorris most recent google search: “how to erase your memory and ability to hear and see” i can never look either of you in the eye anymore
- y/nnn I TOLD YOU NOT TO LISTEN TO IT
- landonorris I DIDNT THINK YOU WERE GOING TO TALK ABOUT MY TEAMMATE THAT GRAPHICALLY
- y/nnn thats your own fault then
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Twitter Thread
pieasstree youre gonna tell me 34 35 is abt this man.
- oscpastry “even though im wifey you can hit it like a side chick” is dick whipped the correct term for this???
- mclarensgirly plz never say dick whipped again but yeah i believe so
- pieasstree WE ARE MOVING AWAY FROM THE MAIN TOPIC OF CONVO. HOW IS THIS ABOUT HIM. IT JUST DOESNT MAKE SENSE.
- oscarsmyfav i dont know what i was expecting from that song but “i know all your favorite spots, we can take it from the top, youre such a dream come true, make a bitch wanna hit snooze” WAS NOT IT.
- hisrookieseason “i dont wanna keep you up, but show me can you keep it up cause then ill have to keep it up” I HEARD THAT AND IT ALL MADE SENSE
- oscpastry YEAH LIKE NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY HES SO MELLOW ALL THE TIME ITS BC HES TIRED
- oscarpiastri never too tired tho
- pieasstree WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
- oscpastry AM I IN A DREAM THIS IS NOT THE OSCAR I KNOW???????
- y/nnn its the oscar i know…
- mclarensgirly WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON HERE
- oscpastry im so scared rn but also SO intrigued
- pieasstree its the way theyre probably sitting next to each other and laughing at all of us distraught fans
- y/nnn hes very pleased with himself (👇🏻)
- pieasstree i rlly just dont understand how that man THAT BOY could cause an earthquake in bed as y/n said
- y/nnn trust me he could.
- oscarpiastri trust me i can and i have.
#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 x reader#mclaren#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri imagines#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri fluff#oscar piastri smut#oscar piastri fanfiction
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i just listened to sabrina's new album and oh my god the song slim pickins is such a song that was written from daydreaming about lumberjack!logan, oh and the recent fic that you reblogged was just so yummy and perfect for that song especially the lyrics "a boy who's jacked and nice" like god having to settle down for less because nobody can be him 😭😭😭 need him expeditiously im afraid
it's slim pickins
lumberjack!logan howlett x fem!reader
cw: yearning!! fluff, tiny nsfw conversation (nothing graphic)
a/n: this request couldn't have come in at a better time because i'm seeing sabrina on opening night of her tour tomorrow night!! <3
masterlist
"am i just destined to be alone forever?"
another friday night in the hole in the wall bar outside of town. another date gone horribly wrong. your question hangs heavy in the air as you gossip to your best friend who's bartending tonight.
"you keep picking douche bags." she answers without missing a beat.
"well, that's fuckin' rude." you slur slightly, sipping on your third fruity drink tonight.
"well, it's fuckin' true." she smiles, looking over your shoulder at a group of men that walked in. "why don't you go talk to one of them? they look hot."
you spin around in your stool to see a group of lumberjack workers. these were the men that you worked with, you can't flirt with them.
"i work with those guys!" you hiss.
"sooo...?" she smirks.
both of you quickly end the conversation with the five guys approach the bar. the last thing you needed was for these guys to see the desperate and pathetic look on your face. quickly, you rummage through your purse for some cash to put down.
"what are you doing here, doll face?" a familiar voice asks.
you look up and see the most handsome of the men, in front of you; logan. twice your size, buff, toned, tan... god, you had such a crush on him. never in a million years would you go after him though, he's too good to want a girl like you. you were just a friend. he make small talk with you, laughed at your jokes, calls you little nicknames, and refills the coffee pot for you but thats what friends do, right?
"oh... um, i'm just-"
"she's been sitting here moaning and bitching to me all night about her horrible date." your best friend smiles then introduces herself to logan with a handshake.
"thanks asshole." you mumble under your breath at her, making logan chuckle.
"tough night?" he asks, looking down at you in a way that makes heat rises up your face.
"kinda, but i'll save you all the gory details." you admit, sliding off the tall stool a little ungracefully. "have a good night, logan."
"wait, doll face." he says, grabbing your arm to balance you. "wanna talk about it? i'm sure your friend here is busy."
the alcohol let him take you to one of the booths. all the other men noticed logan and you sitting together, definitely making mental notes to tease you both on monday.
"so, what's on your mind?" logan asks, taking a swig of his beer.
"it's nothing really..." your mouth says one thing but your phone says another; practically buzzing off the table.
"you sure?" he raises a brow.
"uh... yeah?" you sound confused as you peak at the notification. an annoyed groan falls from your lips as you slam the phone back down and sink into the booth. "why? why? why?"
"why what?" he squints.
"be honest, do i have dumbass written on my forehead?" you sigh, hazily looking over at logan. the question threw him off guard; unsure if you're joking or not.
"no." he answers.
" well, i sure feel like one. every guy i've gone out with is either the most obnoxious asshole i've ever met who's still hung up on his ex or he's absolutely perfect but he's just not ready for a commitment right now? what the fuck does that even mean?"
all of your drunk rambling surprised logan. at work, he's only seen your shy personality as you scribble down numbers and log them into spreadsheets. this was a completely different side of you.
"i know what you're thinking, 'why not just try dating a woman?'. well, i fucking would if this town wasn't stuck in the 50's, except the men aren't going to war in order to get away from you, instead they just run back in between their ex's thighs and pull that 'it's not you, it's me' bullshit."
it was getting harder for logan not to crack at your silly yet, adorable expressions as you rant.
"and the worst part is that they can't even get a woman to orgasm." you say a little quieter. logan stores that quote in his pocket for another time. "a few weeks ago, i literally had a man in my bed who didn't know the difference between their, there, and they're! i don't know who's stupider, him for not knowing or me for letting him give me the worst head in my life."
if you were even a little sober, this would be mortifying. sitting in front of your work crush and spilling pathetic details of your love life to him. if you were even a little sober, you would have notice his eyes turn dark and lustful under the dim bar lighting. logan couldn’t fathom that you were having trouble in your love life.
"sounds like it's slim pickins out there."
"you have no idea." you sigh.
"if it makes you feel any better, i don't think that you're stupid."
"you're just saying that to be polite. trust me, everyone thinks i'm an idiot for taking these guys back every time. im just like my mom, my sisters, my friends, and every other girl i know. we make up excuses for their shitty behavior because we are afraid to be alone."
logan could see tears forming in your waterline, about to roll down your cheek. it hurt him to see you so heartbroken over these losers. everyday at work, you came in like a ray of fucking sunshine. you didn't deserve to be treated like this.
"it's not your fault that those asshole don't know how to treat a woman." he sighs, leaning forward in an attempt to comfort you.
"i know, i know..." your voice was cracking and you didn't want logan to see you so vulnerable. suddenly, you rise from the booth. "thanks for listening, logan."
"where do you think you're going, doll face?" he asks, following you out the door.
"should head home." you mumble, pulling up the number of a car service about twenty minutes out.
"let me give you a ride home." he offers. "you've been drinking too much."
it's late, you're exhausted and heartbroken so, you let him help you into his truck. it's kinda old but full of character, like logan.
"what's going on in that pretty head of yours?" logan asks, breaking the silence in the car. "still sad?"
you shrug. "think i'm just going to become a nun."
he tried, he really did, but he had to laugh.
"sweetheart, there's no need to become a nun."
"well, i'm never going to find the man i'm looking for so, might as well join the sisterhood."
"what are you looking for in this dream man?"
logan's question has your eyes wondering over to where his left hand sets on the wheel and his right on thigh. the images of what his hands could do flood your fuzzy mind.
"j-just a good guy who's um, who's kind, jacked... respectful, good with his hands...."
it was shameless, your staring that is. logan worried you might get drool on the car seat, not that he would mind.
"hm... those seem like simple requirements there."
"apparently not." you giggle. "it's fine, though. i'm sure the nuns will be friendly."
"still thinking about joining the 'sisterhood'?" he asks, pulling up to your drive way.
"maybe... i'll give it twenty-four hours and if he doesn't come knocking on my door, i'll just buy a chasity belt and go off the grid with the nuns." your smile warmed his cold bitter heart. "thanks for the ride, lo. i'll see you monday."
as logan watches you fumble with your keys and make your way inside, he fights an internal battle over his feelings. he has had a crush on you since the day the two of you first met. by the end of the week, you had baked him some cupcakes, babbling about how you do this for all the new employees, which was far from the truth he later learned.
you captured his heart. even when he tried to burry his feelings for you, when logan looked at you, his world stood still for a moment. he looked forward to all your silly jokes in the break room or the ridiculous gossip you would tell him when he lingered outside of your office door. he couldn't let you slip away into the arms of another asshole who didn't deserve you.
before logan could comprehend what he was doing, his feet lead him up to your door, knocking twice. the wooden door opened and he knew he made the right decision.
there you were in your light blue and grey plaid pajamas with a cupcake in your hand and vanilla frosting on your bottom lip. logan had never seen you look prettier.
"hey? did i leave something in the–"
in the blink of an eye, logan’s hands reach up to caress your jaw, leaning in until his mouth engulfs yours. the taste of vanilla and alcohol surrounded both of you. forgetting the cupcake in your hand, dropping it to reach up and pull logan closer. kissing him was like drinking a glass of wine after a long day. no more stress or anxiety over anyone else’s bullshit. the two of you gasp against each others lips, catching your breath.
“i could be the good guy, you know?” logan pants, now forever addicted to your taste. “i could be the good guy for you.”
your heart fluttered as you stared up at his pretty hazel eyes, twirling a piece of his hair around your finger. this had to be a very realistic dream, thats the only answer to this.
“you would do that for me, logan?” your delicate voice could bring him to his knees, worshiping the ground you walk on.
“i would do anything for you, honey.” he whispers, leaning back in to kiss you again. maybe your dream guy wasn't as far away as you thought?
#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#logan howlett#james logan howlett#logan howlett smut#wolverine smut#deadpool and wolverine#hugh jackman wolverine#wolverine#wolverine angst#logan howlett angst#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett fanfiction#logan x reader#logan wolverine#old man logan#old man logan x reader#wolverine fluff#wolverine one shot#wolverine x oc#wolverine x you#x men comics#x reader#x men#marvel cinematic universe#marvel#mcu#marvel mcu#lumberjack!logan#hugh jackman
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Unlikely pair
SUMMARY: Where Oscar is dating a musician known for strictness and harsh comments on survival shows. To everyone's surprise, the unlikely pair is nothing short of perfect.
yntheone made a new post:
Close your eyes, take my time Let's remember this moment
Photograph (prod. Offonoff) is out on Thursday
Comments:
user1: WHATTT
user2: this is not a drill I repeat this is not a drill
user3: girl you can't just drop this on us and bail 💀
user4: is this real or is this my ambien
user5: i see the saga of blurry pictures continues
↳ user6: it's a vibe, you hater 😤
user7: omg is this the song realoffonoff played on his live the other day??
user8: who is this and why is it not me 😩
user9: she destroyed everyone on Don Mills Daebak remix just to turn around and do cute rnb songs 😭 queen shit 👑👑
oscarpiastri: can't wait ❤️ liked by yntheone
↳ yntheone: ❤️❤️ ↳ user10: the last person I expected to see here ↳ user11: 🤨🤨 well that's suspicious
user12: You need to do an entire album with realoffonoff !! Cigarette was amazing 😍
↳ user13: oh my godddd do you think cigarette was about the same guy? ↳ user14: definitely ?? i mean how can you listen to yntheone sing she wants you to be addicted to her like cigarettes and go "nah I'll pass" ?? brain damage ahh behaviour
yntheone tagged oscarpiastri in a post:
Do you really think you're that good??
(He is.)
Comments:
user15: babe wake up new roman empire just dropped
user16: not the caption 💀💀 quoting herself like the queen she is
↳ user17: giving trainees war flashbacks lmao
user18: he better know how to fight 😤😤 im throwing hands
user19: this can't be the same person who tore apart trainees on live tv 😐 since when is she all lovey dovey
↳ user20: if you had Oscar Piastri smiling at you, you'd be lovey dovey too
user21: out of all the people I suspected to be the guy from a blurry picture, this man wasn't even on the list ??? there's opposites and then there's THIS
↳ user22: ya I'm genuinely surprised someone as calm as him can keep up with her ↳ user23: yall are forgetting he's keeping up with Lando Norris
oscarpiastri: I really am liked by yntheone
landonorris: he's not as good as me but I guess he's still kind of ok
↳ danielricciardo: you might want to rethink that mate ↳ landonorris: blocked
user24: I'll just assume every love song she's done has been about him
↳ user25: Cigarette?? Moon?? Photograph?? Make the Move?? He better know the poetry that she's written about him or he gon catch these hands ↳ oscarpiastri: I do know and I appreciate every word
user25: finally Mclaren found someone who can actually pull off the papaya and not look silly
user26: yntheone is taken?? worst day of my life tbh
user27: imagine all the contestants on survival shows that will come in mclaren merch 💀💀 we're about to unlock a new level of embarrassment that shouldn't be possible
user28: this is the best golden retriever black cat couple, everyone else can go home
user29: for his own sake, I hope he knows what he's gotten himself into 😩😩
↳ user30: no better racing motivation than remembering your girlfriend is famous for roasting people in front of the entire nation
f1fans_official made a new post:
oscarpiastri and yntheone on their little New York trip 🥺🥺
Comments:
user31: yes I watch f1 for the rivalry and driving
↳ user32: these two are the main plot
user33: am I the only one bothered by the fact that she's a rude bitch??
↳ user34: yes sis you're the only one who can't tell between a rude bitch and a professional realistically evaluating wanna-be artists
user35: no thoughts head empty thinking about my favourite paddock couple
user36: i can't even be mad she's taken my man 😞😞 they look cute together
user37: hope they don't break up I can't take going through my parents' divorce twice
user38: if Lando and yntheone become friends we're going to see the most iconic duo of all time
↳ user39: the Lando slander is about to get serious 💀 ↳ user40: Oscar is gonna be bald by the end of the year because of them lmao
oscarpiastri tagged yntheone in a post:
Resting and recharging before the next race weekend
Comments:
user41: it's giving he asked for no pickles
yntheone: no need to thank me, I know I'm the only thing you need 😴 liked by oscarpiastri
↳ oscarpiastri: wouldn't have it any other way ❤️
user42: forget guard dog boyfriend, Oscar's got a guard dog girlfriend and I'm here for it
↳ user44: feminism
landonorris: guys help me she's scary
↳ yntheone: I know where you live 🥰🥰 ↳ oscarpiastri: yntheone I'll hold your bag baby ↳ user43: forget the office this is the sitcom i'd watch ↳ georgerussell63: the bigger the distance from angry yntheone the funnier it is
user45: honestly why would he go for a manly rude bitch?? there are so many better women out there, just sad
↳ user46: have you considered the fact that men are not a monolith and have, in fact, individual preferences? or is your IQ too low to comprehend that?
user47: I will tell my children this is the royal pair
user48: can't wait for her the sample Oscar and add him to a beat 🔥🔥
user49: ok now I get why she wrote absolute bangers about him 😍
user50: if she's in the stands cheering him on, FIA should give Oscar a penalty for unfair advantage 😤😤
#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fanfiction#f1 x reader#f1 x you#formula one#formula 1 smau#formula 1 social media#formula one smau#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri#op81 x reader#op81 imagine#op81 fic#op81#op81 x you
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❛TAMING THE PILLOW PRINCESS❜ ( n. jaemin )
p. boyfriend!na jaemin x fem!reader w. 1.8k+
warnings? oral ( m. receiving ), uprotected sex, sorta mean dom jaemin (he's such a softie it's hard), a little degradation, breeding kink (?)
— 𖦹 ( you used be such a good girl for him, but thats okay jaemin will fix it ) !
“Come home.” You spoke through the phone. “baby im with the guys I told you I wanted to hang out with them for a while.” Jaemin said, but you could care less. “i don’t care, I want you home now.”
“Ba— come home or you’ll sleep on the couch for a week." Before he could speak up you said something else. “and no sex!” you hung up in his face— he sighed, putting his phone away, he friends already looking at him, your voice was loud enough for them to hear the entire thing. “don’t say anything.” He rubbed his temples.
“jaemin, man I love you and I don’t know how to say this but.” Jeno said. “your girlfriend is a bitch.” Haechan finished. “haechan.” Renjun said, jaemin shook his head, ready to defend you. “she’s just really needy you know?” he said. “she needs attention, it’s okay I don’t mind.”
“she’s also rude as hell, constantly nagging and yelling at you over stupid shit, spending all your money, i could go on.” Haechan said, jaemin sighed. Jaemin loved you, he did — but even he had to admit his friend was right, you were a nightmare dressed in pink.
“does she even you know?” jeno trailed off. “you know give it up?” he said. “sex? of course we have sex.” He said. “does she go down on you?” renjun asked, jaemin tried to remember the last time you did, cringing. “she really isn’t that good at it, but id rather give than receive.”
“and you go down on her?” jeno said. “I do most of the work, so what?” jaemin said. “that’s your problem, you’ve created a pillow princess with a bratty attitude, and now you don’t know how to handle her anymore.” Jeno said. “I know how to handle my girlfriend.” He said, feeling a bit defensive now that it was finally laid out for him. “do you really?”
That sentence stayed with him all the way home — your attitude was getting worse day by day, and he stayed passive, letting you do what you want, as long as you were happy, even though it made him miserable— he wasn’t getting sad, he was getting pissed, speeding on the gas all the way home.
You scoffed looking at the time, he was 2 hours late. “im gonna kill him.” you got up out of bed, only in your underwear and a flimsy tank top , making your way into the kitchen to get a drink, opening the fridge — your eyes sat on the last can of jaemins beer, you smirked grabbing the can, opening taking a sip. “serves him right.” You didn’t even like beer, you just wanted to piss him off , knowing he wouldn’t do anything but smile and tell you it would be okay.
Leaving the can on the counter, knowing it will piss him off as well, turning to go back in the room, when the front door open, your boyfriend walked in. you rolled your eyes, he looked at you, then over by the counter, noticing the beer. “that was my last one.
“So?” you shrugged walking back to the room, the cats following behind you. “why didn’t you throw away the can?” you ignored him, he followed behind you. “you know I hate when you leave the cans on the counter.”
“well go pick it up and throw it away.” You picked up a pillow, throwing at his chest. “you go sleep on the couch while you’re at it.” He looked down at the pillow then back at you, anger boiling up inside him. “go.” You said turning on your side, no longer facing him.
“im not staying on the couch.” He said you scoffed. “well you aren’t staying in here, so sleep in the hall for all i care.” jaemin saw red, and before he could even notice it was like his arms and legs were moving for him — and he was sitting on the bed, you shot up ready to yell. “I said get the fuc—” he your words were cut short by jaemins hand wrapping around your throat.
“Listen here.” He said, his eyes dark, not like how you’re used to. “i've had it up to here with your bitchy attitude.” He seethed. “letting you walk all over me, you don’t have to do shit, i let you sit here in the apartment i pay for all day and do nothing, while i go out and work my ass off so you can spend my money on your unnecessary shit and how do you repay me?” he squeezed. “by being a bitch.”
You couldn’t say anything, not because you couldn’t due to him choking you, but because you were speechless, he never spoke to you like that — so mean and with hatred in his eyes — it was kind of turning you on. “jae— did i say you could speak?” he said. “that’s your problem, you don’t listen.”
“i've been spoiling you too much, letting you get away with everything.” He kissed his teeth. “that shit stops today.” Before you could say anything he was tossing you over his lap. “i want you to count.” He whispered in your ear. “wh-ouch!” you yelped upon feeling his hand come down on your ass. “fuck that hurts.�� You cursed. “good, it’s supposed to.” another slapped made you jolt. “now count.”
“jae– shit!” you cursed as he didn’t let you get your words out, slapping your ass. “one!” you shouted. “good again “ he repeated. “tw-two.” He kept repeating his abuse on your ass, tears wielding in your eyes as you counted all the way until his desired number.
“Good.” He rubbed your sore cheeks. “you actually listened for once.” He grabbed your hair — yanking your hair back roughly, looking you in the eyes “get down on your knees.”
You sat in between his legs, your knees digging into the rug sure to leave them red — your face close to his hard on. “im always going down in you, bout time you give me something in return.” He unbuckled his pants, pushing them down to his ankles. “gonna suck me off real good.” He pulled his cock from his underwear, stroking himself off, his cock dripping with pre-cum from his tip on to your pouty lips.
You hadn’t done this in a while, jaemin always doted on you, so you probably only did it a few times in the early stages of your relationship after a while he just ended up saying it was fine. “go on.” he held the base of his cock tapping it on your lips. “put it in your mouth.”
You slowly sunk down on his cock, he groaned out throwing his head back, his hand resting on the bed, the other in your head. “you’re still just as bad.” Your eyes widening, as he pushed your head all the way down. “it’s like you’re not even trying.” The more he talked to you like that the more turned on you became, your panties sticking uncomfortably to your cunt. “have to do everything.”
He used your hair, guiding you up and down his shaft. “there you go, slowly.” he cursed under his breath. “use your tongue.” he hissed. “i said your tongue, not your teeth — are you dumb baby?” you moaned around his cock. “of course you like being degraded -fuck- i guess i assumed you liked being treated like a princess.”
He pulled you off him, slapping his cock against your lips. “that’s enough — want you now.” you went to lay down like you normally did but he stopped you. “no, it’s not about you tonight.” he laid back against the headboard. “tonight i want you to ride me, i want you to work for it.”
You’ve never ridden anyone, all of them doing the work for you. “i-i.” he picked you, making you straddle his lap. “i'll jerk off right now in front of you and you won’t get anything, if you want to cum, you ride me.” You were desperate to cum, biting your lip — grabbing the base of his cock, hovering above you. “sit.”
He pushed you down, his cock filling you up, you moaned out, holding yourself up by his chest. “jae-jaemin.” you moaned. “now move.” he commanded, you rocked your hips sloppily. “do it right.” He slapped your ass. “i-i c-cant.” you sobbed. “try.” He said deciding to help you just a bit, grabbed your hips rocking you back and forth. “fu-fuck just like that.” He let your waist go, leaving you on your own again.
It just wasn’t enough, you needed him. “jaemin.” You whined. “i-i need you.” He smirked. “yeah.” His hips bucking up. “why should i help you when -fuck- when all you’ve been is a bitch to me?” he grunted, slowly loosing his mind, wanting nothing more than to flip you over and fuck you like he’s used to. “why should i help you.”
“i-im so-sorry.” You stuttered. “i'll be good, i promise.” You sounded so pretty, begging like that. “you will?” he grunted. “no more being mean, and rude?” you nodded, promising him through tears. “i-i promise.”
He flipped you over, pushing his cock deep into your cunt. “shit!” you screamed as he plowed into you, wrapping your leg around his waist. “shit that’s it.” he moaned. “be a good girl and take my cock.” You grabbed his bicep, eyes rolling to back of your head.
“that’s all you needed, to be fucked back into submission right?” he said grabbing your cheeks, forcing you to look at him. “you’re gonna be my good girl again if i let you cum.” You nodded dumbly. “words.” he said, thrusting deeply inside you, hitting that gummy spot. “ye-yes i promise.” You felt it coming all you was his word.
“cum.”
Your mouth dropped out, eyes rolling to back of your head as you came with a loud gasp of jaemins name, your head feeling deeper into a subspace as he fucked you through your orgasm. “pretty girl -fuck- gonna cum inside your pretty cunt okay?” you nodded. “pl-please cum inside me.”
His thrust began to falter as he came, his cum pouring into your cunt. “good girl.” He looked at your fucked out face. “there’s my good girl.”
He pulled out of your cunt, watching his cum leaking out of you, laying next to you, caressing the side of your face . “im sorry.” You pouted. “for being such a bitch.”
“it’s okay princess, i still love you and I still want to take care of my precious baby.” He kissed your temple. “just be nicer to me baby.” He said. “as long as you don’t make me ride you anymore.” He laughed. “I don’t ever want to do that again.” He nodded. “I won’t baby.”
“you’ll always be my pretty pillow princess.”
©️LUVYENI
#kpop x reader#kpop smut#nct fanfic#nct fic#nct smut#nct scenarios#nct x female reader#nct x reader#nct hard thoughts#nct hard hours#nct dream imagines#nct dream x reader#nct dream fanfic#nct dream fic#nct dream smut#nct dream hard thoughts#nct dream hard hours#na jaemin x reader#na jaemin smut#na jaemin fic#jaemin x reader#jaemin smut#jaemin fanfic#jaemin fic
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CRAWLING BACK 2 U — P.JS X FEM!READER
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — SYNOPSIS : Reader & jay loose contact after a messy argument about a girl, jay comes crawling back wanting to make her feel good one last time.
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — WARNINGS : toxic (?), Fem!reader, cussing, smut with a small plot, pussy eating, dumbification ? NOT PROOF READ!!! Oh and no protection (please wear it), breading kink, slut shaming (?), pet names, slight choking, fingering, cum eating??,, wc ; 2.5k, felt extra nasty ;)))
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — A/N : long time no see LOLLLL, I just ain’t been having inspo lmao .. also why does nb fw jay fics fr </33, reblogs are much preciated. I hope you like this fic!
Sighing harshly you broke the silence that was in jays apartment. "So who is she ?" You asked crossing your arms looking at him. He looked at you, his eyebrows scrunching. "The fuck does it matter, we aren't dating." Your head snapped back at the sudden words. You knew he wasn't yours, you two never put a label on it but it was blatantly obvious what this relationship was. Friends with benefits that was obviously becoming more.
"It fucking matters because you are fucking me, and you always somehow forget to bring condoms so jay it does fucking matter!" You spoke, you've never snapped at jay but at this moment it was serious. Jay sighed, pinching nose bridge as he said your name. "Look, we are only fuck, okay? Only time you're over is to fuck got it ? We were never more." Jay spoke, his tone cold. The fact that he said you two were never more was irritating, assuming the nights you spent with each other just cuddling and acting lovey dovey was nothing more to him was funny, knowing he was the one who started it all. "So those night we laid up under eachother doing nothing but cuddling was nothing more right? Jay I know we aren't a thing I'm not dumb, but it feels like your fucking playing in my face and I don't like that. Do you want her cause she can have you. You were nothing more then dick to me anyways. You could barely hit the spots that made come anyways." You spoke coldly, grabbing your bag and walking to his front door slipping your shoes on and walking out.
One thing you didn't like was being played, especially by someone you know you can do better with. Months went by with no more interaction you didn't care more worried about yourself. There were night where you did miss jay but at that moment you could care less.
As the rain started to get heavy outside your apartment late at night, you were settled into your bed comfortably, half asleep as your tv blasted in the background for extra noise as you slept cuddled up to your pillow. And just as you were about to hit the deepest part of your sleep cycle you heard a continuous knock from your front door sighing, you got up slip on your house shoes and walking to go look through the peephole. You were surprised to see the familiar figure of jay, someone you've cut off long ago. You tiredly unlocked the door to see him drenched. "Listen.." you tiredly rolled your eyes. "What are you here for ?" You questioned tiredly. "You.." he spoke, you laughed softly at his nonsense. "You had me once why would I let you have me again?"
He sighed, saying your name softly. "Cmon, it was a stupid argument." You rolled your eyes, shaking your head. "You wouldn't answer the question of the bitch you could've been talking to, jay im not gonna let sleep with just anyone whenever you're sleeping with me! You hardly use condoms so why the fuck would I?" You spoke scrunching you eyebrows. "I dropped contact with her, I don't have her number, she's a nobody to me now .. just please let me, make up to you." He spoke stepping closer to you.
And he you were, on your bed, half necked, your shorts you were sleeping was tossed around your room somewhere while your panties were hanging on to your leg as jay sat head deep into your legs, you legs over his shoulders as his hands kept you legs from closing on his as he sucked your clit, humming as he sucked it, the vibrations causing you to moan as your toes would curl. As little gasps and whines came out your mouth, you forgot how good he felt and why you liked jay so much. No matter how bad he would treat you would stay and when you finally left him alone you really couldn't figure out why and now you do remember, it was how good he'd pleasure you, how good he'd make you come and wouldn't stop till he was done. And when he finished he would cuddle you, cradle you, caress the skin he bruised. That's why you liked him so much, no one has ever made you feel this good.
You whined saying his name with your eyes closed, you grabbed onto your nipples giving yourself extra pleasure as he kept going. He stopped sucking your swollen puffy clit to go lower sticking his tongue out to lick your wet slit, causing to gasp making your legs open wider wanting all of him, you missed how good is tongue felt on you pussy, you missed how filling his fingers alone felt. You couldn't make yourself feel as good as Jay could. No orgasm felt as good as the one Jay gave you and you hated that, now matter if you thought about sleeping with another man, it wouldn't feel ass good as it did with jay. The after care wouldn't feel as good as with jay, it was as of tho jay ruined it all for you abs you hated it.
But here you are, a moaning, whining mess as jay licked up your slick prepping to fuck you senseless, he pulled his face away from you cunt rubbing his middle finger into your slick spitting into it giving more slick to work with as he rubbing his finger into your pussy before shoving his finger causing you to gasp at the feeling of his cold digit being inside you, he wasted no time moving it inside and out of you watching you to see how you were feeling, a shit eating grin never failed to meet your gaze as he moved his finger faster with no warning you eyebrows knitted together you tried to keep eye contact your mouth agape before you head fell back and you finally spoke. "Fuck!" You dragged your word out as you found your hand rubbing your clit trying to clinch on his finger. He chuckled.
"Trying to come already baby? Haven't even put the second one in yet. You've missed my fingers this much ?" He spoke shaking his head taking his eyes off your face to you cunt who was damn sure ready for a second finger, he added it as you quickly shut your legs.. well tried to at least. "F .. uh .. ck!" You spoke trying to let it out in a small cry coming out instead. He chucked diving back into your cunt, going back to kissing and sucking on you clit as he fucked his fingers into you, pumping them hitting that spot that made you feel funny. "Yes, jay please don't stop." You whined putting your hand in his hair pulling it, he groaned causing vibrations making you clinch on his fingers as he kept pressing on your good spot. You already felt like the knot in your stomach was about to pop.
"Shit shit shit, jay! Please .. can I come." He pulled off you letting his finger slip out rubbing you clit as he stood up. He shook his head no, humming in a disapproval. "Not right now." He spoke kissing your lips, your slick on his lips and chin, he hummed into the kiss his pants strangling his hardened dick, it twitching in his sweats. He pulled back as he untied it. "Fuck I don't have a condom." You rolled your eyes. "You never have one." He chuckled pulling his pants down, including his underwear his dick springing out with precum leaking. "I'm starting to think you like the risk of cumming in me." He pulled in to kiss you his hand finding it way on your neck. "And you like it, you clench harder Everytime I think about trying to baby trap you." You both knew it was just the feeling of good sex playing a roll in his "threats." You knew jay had a breading kink, but he never dared to fill you up, even with as much begging as you did it was always no.
"You gonna fill me up tonight, make our last time a good one ? Leave me all messy?" He grabbed you by your neck kissing you harder you knew exactly what to do to turn him on, no matter how long it's been. "Turn around, ass up." He pulled back to watch you do so, you tried to take your oversized shirt on. "No, keep it on, I want to have something to pull on." You pouted. "But you have my hair?" He chuckled shaking his head. "Who said I can't have options?" He spoke watching you turn over ass up he walked closer to the bed pulling you to the edge, he put his fingers back into you as you grabbed his dick at stroking it as he pumped his fingers into you making you moan again. You your hand back towards your face into your mouth, spitting into your hand and pulling it back to his hardened member stroking it making him moan at the feeling of the mixture of spit and precum together. "Enough, move you hand." He spoke as you let go and he positioned himself slowing pushing himself in.
A gasp came out your mouth, you nearly forgot how painfully big his dick was, especially when he decided not go missionary, whining at the pain. "Ahh take it, I know you can ?" He spoke as you ran a little from it pushing your ass back down a little as he went down more and more finally hitting the base he gave you time to breath and get used to it. He was a monster after all.
He pulled back, as he started thrusting into you, your eyebrows knitted together as you let him fuck himself into you you lip bitten as you took it, getting used to his dick again you started to moan more freely, he grabbed your shirt, pulling on it as he started pounding into you as you moaned and whined his name like he liked it. "Wait- fuck! Y/n is this my shirt?" He spoke pounding into you, it was so dumb of him to even try to keep a conversation with you especially in this position, you can never keep up a conversation in the position, he just felt so much deeper when your ass was up like this, you came the most in the position, made you biggest messes in the position. You hummed. "You know I .. fucking hate you not using your words!" He spoke pounding harder. You tried to speak. "Yes! I kept it- fuck! Fells s'good." You moaned. "Your dumb for my dick aren't you? Haven't even been long and here you are all whiny and creamy already on my dick." He groaned.
"And I bet you'd love to feel me feel you up to the brim too." He spoke going faster, your mouth fell agape as you felt so good. "Fuck yes!" You moaned. "So dumb for my cock huh baby? My little cock slut, not even your own fingers can make you feel this good huh?" You clenched on his dick you felt so close yet so far. "Let me here you say it?" He spoke slapping your ass. "Ah! Fuck.. you can only make feel this good jay!" He chuckled pulling on you hair and bring you closer. "Mhm, that's right my dumb slut, nobody can make you feel as good as jay can." His hand snaked around your neck softly squeezing your neck you felt yourself go dumb, you knew you were about to come whining.
"Please please please." You repeated in a whisper. "Please what?" He asked groaning in your ear. "Please let me come." Jay twitched hearing that, kissing your jaw as he felt you clench again. "I'm so, so close please!" He liked when you begged, he liked to see you a mess in general he couldn't help that. "Come baby, make a mess on my dick." He spoke letting you fall back on your knees slapping your ass as he kept going as just like that you whined cleaning on jay so hard he could've popped out. "Fuck." Jay spoke as your orgasm hit you, you started shivering as he kept going, jay kept thrusting, a ring forming around his dick he began to get sloppy, he went down toward you ear once you slightly calmed down from your orgasm. "Gonna let me fill you up? One good time." You nodded frantically, shaking still "god yes!" He chuckled as he kept going as you started moving your hips too.
"Flip over I need to see your face." And you did so, he took your legs and put one over his shoulder as the other was in his hand as he kept going. You rested your body on your elbows as you let him fuck you. You watched him go in and out of you as you met his eyes, your head falling back as you felt like you could come again just by his gaze you never wanted this to end. His thrust for so sloppy it’s was obvious he was about to come, slammed into you a few times as you came again, he did so groaning so loud, going faster. “Fuck yesss” he hummed as a mixture of both of your comes mixed together. “If you were my girlfriend I swear to god I would do this to you every night.” You were to high to even care about the stupid shit he just said. Feeling him pull out.
He fell back to his knees, as he starting to eating you out, pulling you back towards him as you whined as you made you feel good all over again, slurping up at your juices his nose hit your sensitive clit you cried out, you hand found a way to his messy hair again your thighs were definitely full at this point, you knew you were gonna have another orgasm, as he fucked his tongue into you, you cried. You were sure you loved him.
You vision became blurry as you trembled as your last and final orgasm hit. “God!” You moaned, legs shaky and your grasp on his head tighter then ever. He slurped it up one last time getting after and kissing you, you tired body wrapped your arms around him pulling him in as you made out. The taste of both of you in his and your mouth.
He cleaned you two up, as you sat in a cleaned bed, you leg wrapped over his legs as your arm was over his chest as you sat in silence as he caressed your leg. Nights like this is what you cherished, you did want to do it. But you knew it was needed.. this was the last time you saw him for sure. Or at least that’s what you wanted you woke up to him coming back with a plan B and breakfast giving you a soft kiss. And once again you crawled back to him.
#enhypen smut#kpop smut#enhypen x you#jay x reader#jay smut#jayangst#jay x you#jay fanfic#jay enhypen#jay park smut#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen angst#jay ff#jay angst#jay hard hours#enhypen jay#jay park
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okay i actually was kinda curious on how they set up the boxes and went back to look and see who is easiest to get and who is the hardest and honestly
and now im just theory crafting over here on how they decided who goes where
i wrote a list and everything:
Sorry for the messy handwriting
The way they have asmos fits in the 5th boxes
#luci and mams are the easiest to get full stop#im assuming since its the anniversary they wanna be nice! (or they do not wanna put them at the later boxes and piss off a bunch of ppl)#remember when i said i get hanged up on the details no one gives a fuck about....listen just walk with with me here#even if im just bullshitting i wanna cook#they pushed the guys down that arent super duper popular but not the least popular to the last boxes#now u get some money#and the annoyed crowd is much lesser than what would be if u put all the super popular ppl down there lol#thats why all the side characters and satan are the hardest to get#like they have good popularity (at least im assuming they do) but not too many ppl are gonna be pissed off#compared with the amount that would be if the big dogs where lower (mams luci and levi)#money + less annoyed fans to deal with#asmo and beel are a good lower middle ground#just slap them bitches somewhere u know#not that popular so the annoyed crowd is low and ur not losing out on too much money putting them there#simeons probably the anomoly here cause i feel like he has high popularity right??#but since hes a side character its like....we can get away with putting him in the last box#i feel like sol has been gaining popularity (and he feels like hes escaping side character hell) so u kinda wanna keep him higher too#idk about lukes popularity but for belphie im pretty sure like half the fandom has beef with the poor guy#so hes good at the top#so not worried about losing out on money opportunities#anyways...imo they should traded beel and asmos spots for levi and sols (im sorry!!!)#cause it would be easier for me#and theyre obviously more popular!!!#come on put my boy in the earlier boxes so i can reap the benefits of having a lower popular fav!!! 🤦🏾♀️#how are u gonna make me work for asmo when ik his ass is getting shafted most of time...be serious like fr#edit: okay so turns out beel is more popular than i thought#hey solmare why is asmo so far down with him hello!? wouldnt it make sense to put asmo with belphie?#like ig what i said still applies him being a good person to slap in the middle#but like i prefer “...yea it sucks ur boy isnt too popular heres a bone for u! we made it easier to get him (please keep playing our game)”#instead of “....we know even if u get mad it doesnt matter cause theres not enough of u to make much noise about it so....” 🫡
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AGORA HILLS
Daniel Ricciardo x rapper!Reader SMAU
Warnings : SUGGESTIVE content!! Reader and Daniel being horny for eachother on main
face claim : megan thee stallion
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danielricciardo : Locked in. It’s race week
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user7 : praying for a dr3 podium
— user5 : lmao you’ll need something stronger than prayer
user6 : can’t believe mother is dating this loser
youruser : whore
— user9 : 😅😨
youruser : I’m sorry I wasn’t aware I was running a brothel
youruser : who let you out of your cage long enough for you to post this
— user7 : girl pls ✋🏿 😭
youruser : who you trying to impress???? 😨😅
— danielricciardo : I’m sorry bookie, what can I do to make it up to you?
— youruser : you know what 😼🤭
— danielricciardo : on my way!
— landonorris : there are children on here!!!
— youruser : log off then norizz
youruser just posted
liked by danielricciardo, lewishamilton and 3,345,871 others
youruser : THANK UUU SO MUCH LONDON! Always a pleasure performing for you, truly one of the best crowds! Now if you’ll excuse me my man is waiting for me in our hotel room with nothing but edible underwear on 🤤
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lewishamilton : an amazing show as always y/n! But was that last part really necessary?
— youruser : yes
user7 : your free speech… hand it over!!!
user21 : how she’s so down bad over a man well past his prime i can’t understand 🤷🏼♀️
— youruser : PAST HIS PRIME!???log off NEOWWW
— user32 : I fear she’s dickmatised 😔
user45 : love that they’re still in the honeymoon phase
— user47 : FR!! I need all their secrets! after almost 3 years and they’re still so in love with each other
danielricciardo : AWOOGA
danielricciardo : woof woof bark bark
— oscarpiastri : 😨😨
danielricciardo : I ate the underwear 3 songs ago
— youruser : we can’t drive any faster 😭
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youruser : I see your “Danny Ric is a loser who doesn’t deserve y/n” and raise you “LOOK AT HIM, LOOK AT MY MAN, LOOK AT HIS BIG GORGEOUS, RIDEABLE NOSE, AND HIS TATTED THIGHS AND HIM IN A SUIT!!! RATTLING ON THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE!! I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM, GOD FORGIVE ME FOR EVERYTHING IM GOING TO DO TO THIS MAN WHEN I GET HOME FROM THIS DINNER, THE SLOPPIEST TOP THATS EVER GUNNA SLOP IS COMING HIS WAY!” oh btw Agora Hills out like rn! view all comments
maxverstappen1 : oh… uhm okay. NURSE SHES OUT AGAIN
— youruser : don’t be jealous cause I’m doing your man on the daily
— maxverstappen1 : 😨
— user65 : lmao y/n stays traumatising these drivers
landonorris : listened to the song! Great! Cool! Cool cool cool. Didn’t need to know all that but really good I guess
user70 : you know I’m starting to see the vision
lewishamilton : y/n… is this why youre on the phone rn?
— youruser : sorry wrong number
— lewishamilton : this is social media
— youruser : no habla ingles!!
user1 : not the random picture of you on the second slide
— user3 : that’s what I’m saying 😭 like is this not an appreciation post for your man?
— youruser : god forbid a woman look hot and post it! need to show you guys he’s taken by a bad bitch!
danielricciardo : forever grateful you chose me to spend life with 💞
— youruser : oh… we not being horny rn?
— danielricciardo : my draws are off rn
— lewishamilton : OH this is why y/n just sprinted out of the room
— youruser : forever grateful you chose to spend life with me too 💙💙
— user47 : she sends him blue hearts??!????? Is it for visa cashapp paypal venmo el matador racing bulls
— user76 : girl 😭 you good???!
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danielricciardo just posted
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danielricciardo : I wanna tie the knot. I wanna show you off
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youruser : DANIEL RICCIARDO, propose to me for real goddamit!! You coward
— danielricciardo : working on it baby
— youruser : ooooo I need you so bad rn
user56 : sooo only fans when
— danielricciardo : my eyes only sorry
user78 : y’all are nasty
— user67 : in the best way!
user81 : sending you lot my therapy bill
lewishamilton : I love y’all but don’t you ever get tired
— danielricciardo : yeah she tires me out all the time
— youruser : yeah I do baby!!
youruser : my man
— danielricciardo : my woman
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#f1 smau#formula 1 smau#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#formula one smau#daniel riccardo x reader#daniel ricciardo x female reader#daniel ricciardo x you#Daniel Ricciardo x black reader#daniel ricciardo fanfic#Daniel Ricciardo smau
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Almost got you, bitch
(Hazbin Adam x fallen angel!Male reader)
No warnings I think perhaps cursing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You were a fallen angel.
You questioned heavens doings after finding out about the extermination, and of course heaven didn't like that.
When you fell, your best friend, Adam, was the most pissed off. Granted he was the one who told you about it one night when he was drunk and you had to get him home but he didn't know you were gonna make such a fuss about it.
You were in heaven, everything was fine you had your friends there, no one important to you fell before you, and most importantly you had him there, your best friend. Why would you care about those misfits in hell??
All though he shouldn't have been surprised, even though you put on a hard shell and make very similar jokes than himself you are a kind soul, a very kind one at that always helping others. But still, you fell, you are not here with him anymore. That sucked.
*flashback*
Heaven was a pretty new invention and adam and eve were trying to settle, for that god sent an angel, you.
When you knocked on the door adam went to open it.
"Who the fuck is here this early?" Was the first sentence he ever spoke to you.
Now you aint gonna take shit from nobody.
"Im the fuck who is here get you asses moving cuz we're going to heaven" you said with an equally annoyed tone.
Thats when Adam knew he liked you. And with the same amount of sass to each other the two of you became fast friends.
"I Almost got you, bitch" yelled Adam. You guys were playing flying tag cuz he just got his wings and they were completely new to him.
"You wish, fucker" you answer with a shit eating smirk. You were the one to teach him how to fight, the one who helped him through his divorce withe eve, you were his best friend.
*end flashback*
"...Shit" adam called seraphim, an idea occurred to him, how about they move up the next extermination, that way he has a reason to get down there sooner and bring you back, also slather some demons.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When you woke up in hell, the first thing you saw was someone trying to cut out your organs.
"WAAHH...MOTHERFUC-- WHAT THE HECK R U DOING??" You jumped up and started yelling at the demon.
"Calm down pretty boy, the cannibals pay good money for fresh organs like yours."
"Well guess what jackass I dont give tiny rats ass how good those fuckers pay you my organs aint for sale" and with that sentence you quickly kicked him in the nuts and when he fell to the ground brocke his neck. Yeah...you were kind but god help people who mess with you...literally.
"Well shit, never had to fight without wings."
"...Interesting, and here I thought I would have to come to your rescue in exchange for your soul." Came a...static voice from behind you.
"Uhhh...thank you?? I guess, but there will be no taking my soul." You looked at the grinning man in a red suit.
"Such a shame, you'd be my first fallen angel"
"...Ok, listen can I help you with something ooooorr??"
"Not particularly I just wanted your soul, but alas that ship has sailed, however since you just fell I assume you have no where to stay" his grin stretched a bit as he said that.
"Well, you assume correctly but Im not gonna agree to any deal you have to offer just for a place to stay"
"Well, well, you are smart one even though angles can be so gullible, but no there is no deal the only thing you'd have to do is perhaps act nice"
"I can do that." you answered finally smiling at the strange man.
"They are coming" you whispered to yourself. After you arrived in hell, Alastor offered you a place in the hazbin hotel and you were happy to take it. This was over 7 months ago, in that time you grew close to everyone who was there, they were your found family and now you will protect them even if its against you first family.
Today was the day of the extermination, the day you'd have to fight heaven, the day you's have yo fight Adam. Even though you never admitted to yourself you had deeper feelings for him than friendship, but since he literally went around fucking bitches that kind of lowered your hopes.
The fight was raging on. Since you were the one who literally trained these exorcists they were no match for you. However Alastor was supposed to take on Adam, and that worried you. You knew how powerful Alastor is supposed to be but you have seen Adam's powers first hand.
Just as you suspected Alastor couldn't take on Adam. So Charlie had to take over which made you even more worried. You climbed up and saw Adam hitting Charlie into the hazbin hotel sign.
"NO" you yelled
Adam turned towards you with a smile that said he was ready to kill, that disappeared however when he saw that it was you.
"(Y/N)...."
He looked at you for a moment when someone punched him out of no where.
"Oh shit" you said while looking at Adam flying away and than back at who punched him. Lucifer.
"Lucy?" U asked baffled. You met him when he was still in heaven. Personally you loved his creative ideas while the making of earth so you guys would talk a lot. You also found it highly unfair when he fell and considered going after him, but Adam held you back.
"...Who--? SHIT (Y/N)? Omg why tf are you down here??" He asked half pissed half happy to see you.
"Well a little this, a little that, you know, also I fucking fell so." You replied while hugging him.
"How many of you fuckers do I have to beat before I can take (Y/N) home with me" said Adam very pissed after crawling out from the window he was punched into.
"What?" You asked
"I'm the only one that matters, you messed with my daughter and now Im gonna fuck you" said Lucifer proudly smirking. Everyone went silent while you were trying to hold back your laughter.
"Khmm...its fuck you up, dad" corrected Charlie
"Wait what did I say?" Asked Lucifer confused.
After this a kind of...fight started between Lucifer and Adam. Well, only adam was fighting Lucifer was mostly changing forms.
It was quite funny to watch.
At the end Lucifer won over Adam and he wanted to kill him, but your body moved on its own and you threw yourself at Adam.
Charlie also told his dad to stop.
You stood up from Adams body.
"Take your angel army, and go home" you told him in a soft tone.
He painfully stood up and looked at you with sadness...and something you couldn't quite place.
"(Y/N)..." come with me, please. Is what he wanted to say, but he knew you are still mad at him and that your answer will be no. Or he just didn't want to seem vulnerable in-front of demons.
"I Almost got you, bitch"
Your lips twitched upwards a little bit.
"You wish, fucker"
And with that the angel army and adam flew up to heaven.
When adam arrived in heaven, something downed on him.
"Fuuuuuuckkk..IM GAY-"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Is he an (at best) mid white man who thinks he is the shit?
Yes.
Is he a fucking loser though and a lil bitch
Also yes.
BUT YK WHAT.
HE IS FUNNY AF I LOVE HIM AND HIS SONGS R FUCKING AWSOME.
HOPE MY FELLOW ADAM ENJOYERS LIKED IT THOUGH😎
I hope you enjoyed your reading ladies gentleman and others, good afternoon good evening and good night🦖🧡
#male reader#hazbin x reader#hazbin x you#hazbin hotel x male reader#male y/n#hazbin adam#adam x reader#gay fanfiction
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I yap about Forever + Falling with you
Forever being the end song to murder drones- and its lyrics being what they are
gives me the impression Murder Drones was a big love story about opening up and trust hidden under mounds of comedy and violence
And I dont mean that it ACTUALLY is, its more just.. a silly little feeling I get when i listen to it
Theres something about the song thats so... cozy? So like, softly spoken. A very hummable melody from one lover to another.
also falling with you, like what the fuck
never in my life have I felt a track was so carefully crafted- and prepared, carved out for two specific characters in one specific moment.
She made the choice to sacrifice herself- for him. In her eyes it was the end and if at the end of everything she could guarantee the life of one person it was going to be the one she loves, she didnt know what would be at the other end,
The thing is, he wanted to be there for her. Even when they're knocking on deaths door, he needs to be there.
Its like trust fall exercise, except the focus isnt on 'catch me' cause they'd never let the other fall,
its about making sure they dont fall when youre not looking. It hurts both parties, to crash without warning and to see the one you love fall
I *love* that they dont speak here. She looks to the side, shifting her glances before looking at him.
An unspoken guilt ridden apology.
The response he chooses?
forgiveness,
Even if the result of her actions hurt him- her intentions were good and meant to be entirely in favor of him
And in this moment, with their current history and with a yet to be seen future, he forgives her,
Cause at the very least, they're together again. He could save her.
And her look just, screams thank you to me.
Thank you for forgiving me, saving me-
for everything :) /ref
lighthearted preparation for whats to come :)
legitimately, what she says, reiterating herself "die mad bitch"
knowing theyre heading into the end of the world to prevent it?? Theyre going off to the fucking trenches together, key word this time being together
And then the horrible unexpected !
Uzi is ripped away from N, confronted with what her home has become, the universe is practically screaming at her to fix it, pushing her towards the end without mercy
But shes not doing it alone, she cant do it alone, not again, not this time
And he wouldnt let her
The universe could endlessly attempt to wield its cosmic grasp to push these two apart but itd never work, itd never end with them alone
Their love- their pure devotion to each other,
is so celestial in its own right
Not super related to my ramble but i love that in them becoming official (I will not call this a confession, N definitely confessed the previous episode)
Uzis so.. wagh.. her eyes.
That trademark look of panic or worry- I mean what would you expect from the black sheep of the colony? Being excluded on the daily, left to your own abandoned devices?? The reassurance she was requesting just, ughh.. my heart...
and the way. He fucking looks at her
Its so, soft. He knows she has not a thing to worry about. His heart is completely and utterly hers. Where most would die for their love, he lives for her.
The universe would be dammed to ever try and separate pure unbridled love like this ever again
ERM< ANYWAY that was super gay ew idk why im like. obsessed with their relatinshuio ahhajfhdgjbsjhfm someone blow me up
#murder drones#serial designation n#uzi doorman#nuzi#a really long yapsesh about nuzi#god save me#chat#i thinki have a new favorite scene#oopsieee
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