#im just. yeah.

[crazyexmormon]

Been getting a weird kinda nostalgia recently. I go on a lot of Wikipedia rabbit holes, and I always seem to wind up on the pages about mormonism. Its such a weird feeling, like simultaneously having such intimate knowledge of a topic and learning something completely new about it. I can’t remember even once being taught that church leaders disagreed on anything, but they did, there’s a thousand different opinions on fucking everything! To be fair, I was 14 when I deconverted, so maybe it would’ve been taught if I’d been around for the more mature stuff. Part of me wishes I had stuck around to learn all that. Nowadays I keep finding that I’m forgetting minor details about mormonism I used to know instinctively. It’s weirdly sad.

And sometimes you learn about alternate interpretations that just. Hit you in such a specific way. Some mormon feminists view Heavenly Mother as the Holy Ghost. Did you know that? I sure didn’t. People were excommunicated for that. Reading about Heavenly Mother in general feels like a god I was robbed of. I don’t believe in any of it, but I wish I’d been able to believe in her, at least. I knew about her growing up, of course, and I know my mom has a lot of thoughts about her, some of which she’s shared — I remember her telling me years ago that she thought god didn’t want her to be as prominent in order to protect her from blasphemy. I don’t know if she still believes that. I wish I’d grown up believing in the Holy Ghost as a Heavenly Mother. I don’t know if it would’ve changed much materially, but it feels so right, I can’t explain it more than that.

Not to mention all the primary songs and Mormon movies and books and phone games. And the magazines, and the file folder games for sacrament meeting. I realized recently I still have the 11th article of faith memorized. I have some other ones partially down, but that one is word for word. I remember how all the primary kids would gather outside the bishop’s office after church waiting to recite the articles of faith in exchange for candy. I always liked the 11th cuz it started with claim instead. I remember when they introduced the song versions of them, how my mom hated them cuz the tune felt so random.

I don’t know. It’s just sad how much of your childhood is bittersweet looking back. It’s sad to be cut off from your culture; no matter how horrible that culture may be, it’s still a foundational part of me. I can’t be Mormon again, but I can’t have never been one either. It’s weird to live in the middle ground.

[chronicowboy]

i don't want a promo or any sneak peeks after those stills i want to fully rawdog this episode i want it to kill me

[sameteeth]

[lesbianralzarek]

"life doesnt get better, you just get stronger" does NOT include ages 11-17. life does in fact just get better from there. those years are dogshit. like, you do get stronger but its mostly just a factor of not being 11-17 anymore. positive thinking helps but it doesnt fix whatevers going on at 15, you have to brute force through that one raw

[crowkip]

yeehaw, baby!

[nicktoonsunite]

shrugs

[mausolealdrift]

its baffling seeing people on here being all shocked about how other ppl didnt have sex or do drugs or drink or go to parties etc etc in high schools like. sorry i was too busy getting bullied to do all of that stuff i guess. why are you surprised that there’s losers on the cringe loser website

[calamitys-child]

One of my favourite mundane weirdnesses about Edinburgh is that we set the big clock visible approaching the station to be 3 minutes fast to make sure people are on time for their trains. My Favourite mundane weirdness of Edinburgh is that we check this by firing a cannon.

[nousanti]

Lately I did wonder if you did it all to make you feel desired, for love to replace your shame.

[mienar]

the wandering painter, part one

instagram | shop | commission info

[hinamie]

surprise it's yuri!!!in 2024

[xxplastic-cubexx]

obligatory beach divorce doodling

bonus rough cover redraw of x-men #41 (1995) But Beach Divorce below cut

[vinestaff]

for what it's worth, i was telling the truth when I said I enjoyed working with you

[bacchuschucklefuck]

no more fan-ta-sizing about it! everything's already changed~

[sleevebuscemii]

my favorite thing about jacob anderson and sam reid is that jacob anderson is married with a child and has a second career as a respected musician and sam reid is a 37 year old vaping bachelor with a helix piercing who has recently emerged into peak hotness and slutability. and they’re bffls.

[swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual]

We all know the semi-canonical ‘all the Robins know to hide/duck inside of Batman’s cape, even as adults’ thing.

We also know that Danny ‘is LITERALLY a ghost’ Fenton sucks at remembering his own intangibility while ALSO forgetting to look ahead of him.

All I’m saying is, Danny Fenton (or Phantom, if you’d really like) would absolutely SLAM into Batman on accident while running on roof tops and Bruce ‘Brooding Instinct’ Wayne doesn’t even think twice about letting the kid hide and scanning around for danger before there’s a record scratch of ‘wait who tf is this?’ kicks in.