#im just used to protecting little old queens :)

[toytulini]

Its just. a truck. a shit ass truck, that sucks shit more than any other trucks on the road rn, which is impressive considering how bad modern trucks are. definitely not a sedan. not a van, its not a hatchback, its not an suv. It's got a bed for sure, even if its covered, they sell ? pickups with covered beds, or covers to put over the bed of a pickup you already own, to protect the bed. these exist. they dont turn the truck into a sedan or a van or an suv. Its just a extraordinarily shitty truck. It is a truck that sucks worse than any other truck you can buy rn which, as a truck hater, and a hater of cars made after like, 20teens at the latest, who thinks all trucks are disgusting and awful, is already a low bar. I'm not sure I get what we're doing here. Its just a truck that sucks. theres plenty of shit about it to make fun of it for relentlessly, theres no shortage of material here, you dont need to disparage the good name of any other these other vehicles, especially not a sedan, our last bastion left in usamerica against the ever encroaching light truck category taking over completely, since compacts and sub-compacts arent really available here anymore, not new models anyway.

Its a bad shitty truck, that is designed to live exclusively in the mildest, dryest, of climates with no weather at all, with a dedicated garage, and never do anything more strenuous than transport groceries for a single generic cishet nuclear family with 2.5 kids.

wait a sec. the cybertruck aint even a truck. it aint even a van, there's only the two rows of seating. mf's a sedan with angles

[crazylittlejester]

I love to think that Hylia gives the oldest daughters in her bloodline her powers/blessings, and ONLY her oldest daughter

What I mean by this is: Imagine a queen has two daughters, one a year or two older than the other, and everything starts falling apart but the oldest daughter just DOESN’T have the Hylia given powers and she can’t unlock them no matter how hard she tries. But then the younger daughter tries just for the hell of it because they’re all so desperate, and it WORKS. And everyone is so confused, did Hylia make a mistake?? But then years later down the line the oldest ‘daughter’ comes out as trans and realizes Hylia didn’t give HIM powers because Hylia only gives it to her DAUGHTERS. He and his little sister laugh about it for ages, and he’s not mad at all that he’ll never get to rule the kingdom because he’s a man, he stands by his little sister’s side and defends her with his life (he’s that era’s Link)

On the flip side: Imagine a young Zelda, like nine years old, terrified because she can’t do this, she can’t go up against this great evil, nothing she’s doing is unlocking these powers no matter how hard she tries, and she runs to her older brother for comfort. The castle is attacked and he rushes to protect his little sister just for Hylia’s powers to flare to life and he realizes “Oh- Maybe I don’t just feel like a girl- Maybe I AM one?” and SHE saves Hyrule, and her little sister from the pressure the kingdom had been putting on her to use a power never given to her

and Lullaby/OOT Zelda’s powers only work SOMETIMES because they’re genderfluid and it’s irritating by very validating

Anyways I just think it’d be funny if Hylia was like “I know ur transgender” before they do and takes or gives magic accordingly alskdkdkdl. Hylia supports trans rights

im gonna write a fic about this one day and make my own link and zelda istg

[hanjisungslag]

haiii >_< what type of fantasy characters/stererotypes would aot characters be?

- any characters you want but def reiner pls＾ ty baby

🧝‍♀️ aot characters & fantasy

characters included: eren, armin, mikasa, sasha, connie, jean, annie, reiner, bertolt, levi, erwin & hange!!

notes: this was so fun to do omg

✧ eren jaeger - hero gone villain

okay i know this is a bit basic to do… but c’mon!! he’s literally the epitome of ‘i’ve become what i sought out to destroy’ and i just can’t think of him as anything else. he fits the stereotype too well😭.

✧ armin arlert - mage

he is soooo side kick mage, no? tell me you can’t imagine armin (specifically with the mushroom hair) wearing a wizard gown, hat and holding a magical old stick. he doesn’t like to leave his tower often but is usually forced to when something goes amiss - i can imagine him sighing deeply while reluctantly grabbing his magical old stick.

✧ mikasa ackerman - sidekick

bad ass sidekick who lives in the woods & is probably on the run. i’m thinking… arcana muriel vibes for this but less stoic and quiet (and less cursed) but, she definitely learnt to fight in the woods when she was 3 OR taken in by an old, rugged guy whose family died tragically. either way, everyone’s terrified of her but she steals bread for orphans or some heroic shit like that.

✧ jean kirsten - prince

himbo prince😭 i mean this in the BEST way possibly mkay! he’s not really a himbo however… he just gives prince who accidentally got entangled in a weird adventure and he doesn’t know how to live without servants. he’s be like “erm, i am not crossing that muddy river.” BUT THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT WOULD BE INSANE by the end, he’d like finally understand how bad the government is or how poor the townspeople are and give them money.

✧ connie springer - the fool

sigh… the fool, the court jester, etc etc. he would be himbo prince jean’s court jester 100% and they’re like actually pretty good friends, they’ve known each other since they were kids. he also gets dragged along with jean on a weird adventure and he would be the comedic relief. (also a shoulder for jean to cry on when he gets mud on his fancy royal shoes).

✧ sasha braus - henchman

hunter/henchman hellooo…? literally expert at using a bow and arrow? grew up in the woods?? she would EAT so hard being a henchman and to make it even better, when someone hires her they don’t know she’s a girl and whenever someone finds out, they’ll be so shocked!! feminism!

✧ reiner braun - the beast

dare i say… some sort of big beast? like a big, fluffy beast but make it sexy, beauty and the beast vibes perhaps. imagine fighting this big and surprisingly attractive who lives under a bridge. IM SORRY THAT WOULD BE SO FUN… i’m thinking like diane from sds vibes too!!

✧ bertolt hoover - squire

young, little boy training to be a knight aka a squire. tell me you cant see this little cutie patootie dressed to the nines in armour, learning how to swing a sword?! maybe him and annie trained together or dare i say, he looks up to her.

✧ annie leonhart - knight

sworn shield to a princess that she falls in love with. imma need someone to write a fanfic about this RIGHT NOW!! we all know annie knows how to whop some ass so, of course she was chosen by the king and queen to protect their precious daughter but what happens when… she falls in love! GAH!! of course, she could never speak of her feelings - maybe one day.

✧ levi ackerman - assassin

leader of some sort of renegade, like a special group of assassins. no matter what universe this man is in, his crown will never fall! his title carries on throughout all possible realties m’kay. same backstory though 100%, raised in the poor ditches but learnt how to fight and now he’s a leader of a renegade! you have to pay big buck to get levi to assassinate someone, he’s the best of the best after all.

✧ erwin smith - commander

i’m sorry to be basic and boring but a commander of an army. HE HAS TO BEEE 😭it’s too perfect, i’m sorry. except imagine the army is all medieval and dripped out in chainmail!

✧ hange zoë - pirate

a pirate. LIKE CMONNN especially s4 hange with the eye patch?! i can totally imagine hange running a ship and sailing the seven seas. they’re literally a commander too? it was written in the stars, they’re perfect for the role! i can totally see them playing devious pranks and tricks on other pirates trying to secure the same treasure.

[ashxketchum]

MY DEPRESSION HAS BEEN CURED MY SKIN IS CLEAR MY CROPS ARE FLOURISHING ALL BECAUSE OF THIS ONE IMAGE THIS IS THE YEAR OF ADVENTURE PANDERING LETS FUCKIN GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Let's break this down one by one ~

This is such a good Sora fit I don't even know how to explain how very much OG Sora this is, the pink tones of the overall sporty outfit perfectly capture all levels of her personality. To top it off she's sharing flower themed cream sandwiches with Piyomon AAAHHH the subtle reference okay merch team you can take a w. Not to mention Sora is perfectly matching with Taichi and the fruit in her sandwich is orange stoooopppp itttt!!!!!

TAICHI OMG who is dressing this boy because that's the most he's ever jocked as a 11 year old. The sweatshirt, cargo pants, matching wristband and the sense to put his goggles down, he is winning the sporty casual fashion show for sure. And of course him and Agumon are enjoying some chicken popcorn, love how they weren't even subtle with the packaging art we all know Japan's favourite fried chicken brand anyway 🤣

Yamato. YAMATO. Y A M A T O. You're 11 can you tone down the cool guy heartthrob behaviour for a minute because I am losing my mind THE DOGTAG CHAIN IM GONNA SCREEAAAMMM ACTUALLY I AM SCREAAAMING AAAAHHHHHHH. He looks so good, there is absolutely no wrong element in his entire outfit, everything is perfectly paired up, a fashionista is among us. The little thumbs up over the onigiri that Gabumon is offering him?? Is he telling Gabumon that he's okay with having one and Gabumon can have the rest because that's the sweet, protective, kind, caring baby he is at heart???🥹🥹🥹The blue and green gradient in the background tho?? Mimato math is mathing bestiesss 🤣

Takeru is just a lil guy, but such a perfect lil guy!!! I like how his outfit has the similar green shade as his anime outfit but they still chose to gave him a new beanie instead which doesn't really match the colour tone of the rest of the fit but it's Takeru so we know that he can pull any hat off and that's what he does!!! Him and Patamon sharing burgers, okay mood, but why is he looking so surprised? I need to know what happened, did he spill some sauce on his overalls? Was the burger too hot to bite? WHAT HAPPENED TAKERU????? 😢

Jou, I see you paired up the plaid pants with a nice long, muted, warm toned jacket BUT I SEE THAT PURPLE SHIRT POKING IN FROM INSIDE and excuse me sir but why that purple with the plaid 😭 I need to see a version where Jou isn't wearing the jacket so I can make an informed rating on this outfit but may I add that in the full merch pic he has paired this look with green and white sneakers...I cannot defend you I am sorry Jou, please try brown loafers next time 😭 But outfit aside, Jou eating a taiyaki with Gomamon is lowkey funny I just know that Gomamon cracked a Marching Fishes joke at least once.

Koushiro...I will not go into detail but I will say it's cute that you have a sweater with a little K on it, it's also very cute that there is a splash of orange in your outfit, who's attention are you vying for it isn't subtle at all bby boy and I am grateful you matched your shoes to your sweater even if the socks are definitely a choice and that blue with orange is also definitely another choice. Good to see your are making choices. I like that him and Tentomon are sharing dango, it's always nice to see Koushiro's fondness towards Japanese traditional snacks hinted at in some way.

MIMI. QUEEN. SLAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!! YOU NEVER EVER MISS MY SWEET BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL. The pastel tones matched with the grey stockings for contrast, that beret and the fuzzy hem boots, you just know she shops at Takashimaya and Isetan and anything below it will just not do 👏🏻 Plus Sora and Mimi are wearing the same tones, which probably means that they pre-planned the outfits together, cuties!!! Also Crepe is such a Mimi™️ choice of dessert but I always get teary eyes when I see Palmon mimic Mimi's gestures, there is just so much love and admiration between them for each other, pure childish wonder 💚 And the crepe even has a cutesy character face on it, which kinda looks like Monzaemon, though I can't be sure but if it is then another win for a subtle reference. Not to mention both Yamato and Mimi look like they've dressed in a more cool and elegant style than the rest like they might be on their way to a date THE MIMAT MATH IS MATHING YALLL!!!

Hikari looks super cute, I think there isn't much official art of her in casual clothing for OG stuff so it's nice to see her in a more cutesy fit suited to her age. The hairband matching the cardigan is such a nice touch!! I can't recall any other casual outfit for OG design Hikari except the War Game and Memorial Party dress, so I think this would be the first time we see Hikari with a hairband and it just looks adorable. Of course she is sharing an ice cream with Tailmon, it's kinda their brand now but like Takeru she's making a surprised expression, perhaps she wasn't expecting Tailmon to offer her a bite of her ice cream?

To conclude, this is probably the best OG artwork we've gotten since Idk maybe the Rainy Day stationery series. This will be sold in advance at the Kamio Store booth at Anime Japan 2024. No other details were mentioned, but the event booth sale feels like a pre-sale before the goods become available more widely at other outlets, hopefully, at some stores that international fans have access too as well.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

Ayushi out.

[overtail]

hey queen it’s me sawda with another toph ask </3 (im toph content deprived literally crying) but!! can i req a toph x fem!r where toph’s s/o is literally mulan but in the firebending army?? Thank you!!!

YES ILL DO THAT HEHE I LOVE TOPH!!

ALSO just wanna make yall aware my pronouns are they/them

I'm also so sorry for the delay. I've been on the worst writers block due to a lack of motivation. my whole family was sick, and we've been unable to pick up my anti-depressants 😭

...

Little Soldier - Toph x F!Reader

Summary: When Toph's lover turns 13, she tells her that she has to fight alongside the fire nation to protect her family.

Trigger Warning: Sexism, Implied racism, Forbidden love

Info: Pre-Book 2, long hair reader

...

'We're not gonna lose anyone else close to us again

We swore that we would always be there for each other

No matter what happens though, I promise that I'll protect you

If you were a boy

I would have actually have fallen for you if you were careful

Oh, c'mon, well maybe I'm the one who should have a crush on you'

...

"Watcha doin?" Toph feet dug into the dirt of the valley's grass, trying to identify (Y/N)'s action. Her delt held a look of confusion as se did so.

"Im just.." (Y/N) began, glancing back at Toph as she thought. "Thinking."

She held a clump of hair in her fingers, combing her digits through the strands. Something was obviously on her mind, like she was stuck in a loop up in her little head.

"About what?" Toph shuffled over, crouching down so she was eye level (if you wanted to say that) with the other. She smiled softly while (Y/N) thought: only if she knew

"You know how theres news of the Avatar returning?" (Y/N) whispered, letting out a shaky breath. Toph hummed a quiet 'yes', letting her feet slip so she would fall on her bottom. "And you also know how they're drafting men from the fire nation?"

Toph wondered where this was going. She modded carefully, feeling the floor to hear (Y/N)'s heartbeat. It was fast paced, causing the earthbender to worry.

"Yeah. Are people in your village getting drafted?" Toph questioned, thinking about all the possibilities. She heard (Y/N) sigh.

"Worse. My dad was given a note specifically by the current general." Toph's eyebrows raised at her words, realization hitting. (Y/N)'s father used to fight a long time ago, starting when he was just a boy. This was before she was born, before he met his wife.

He was regarded as one of the most intense, bloodthirsty, and brutal generals in history - behind the Dragon of the West. Though, he was old now; not fit for war.

Toph didn't know what to say. She wasn't particularly fond of the fire nation, but she was fond of (Y/N).

The girl across from her sighed, continuing to comb her digits in her hair. How would she tell Toph?

(Y/N) looked up, her face flushing red at the sight of Toph's oblivious face. She looked so calm in the moment, the valley wind ruffling up her hair. During these secret meetings, Toph would let her hair down. The soft locks ran down her back, some falling over her shoulders.

(Y/N) thought she was beautiful.

"Well, I was thinking," (Y/N) let go of her hair, moving to pick at the nail of her index finger. A sickness caused from nervousness settled in her stomach. "of pretending to be a boy."

Toph laughed, not quite knowing what she meant. "Why would you want to do that?" She smirked, before the smile faltered.

Oh.

"Wait, you're not saying-"

"I'm going to take my fathers place as his eldest son." (Y/N) interjected, her breath hitching at the words. Saying it out loud made the reality hit her light a train - realizing that it wasn't just an idea. This was happening.

Toph stayed unusually silent. She wasn't too expressive when it came to her face, but even now (Y/N) couldn't read her. Was she angry? Happy? Scared? What. was she feeling?

"How?"

(Y/N) raised a brow, confused by the question. "What do you mean?"

Toph pursed her lips, her eye brows knitting together. "How are you going to pretend to look like a boy?"

Even though Toph couldn't see her, she knew that boys and girls looked different.

(Y/N) let out a shaky breath, gripping at her hair lightly. Her family always forced her into the ideal of a perfect, feminine woman - but in secret, she was strong, aggressive, and messy. Even though her personality was changed, her looks were still influenced by her family's wants. Her hair was long, and she wore fancy clothes and makeup.

"Oh, uhm.." (Y/N) was hesitant. She knew, but she sounded like she was protecting herself from her own words. "I'm gonna cut my hair.."

Toph raised an eyebrow, intrigued by (Y/N)'s response. "Cut your hair, huh? That's a bold move. How short are we talking?"

(Y/N) swallowed nervously, fidgeting with a loose thread on her sleeve. "I-I don't know... Short enough to pass as a boy, I guess."

Toph nodded thoughtfully. "Alright, let's do it."

Later that day, the two sat in her bedroom, Toph listening to the sound of (Y/N) snipping her hair. The locks fell onto the floor, sticking to clothes and to skin. After some time, (Y/N) found herself spaced on on Toph's bed, watching her every move.

As Toph unraveled her hair, the room was filled with the sound of gentle brushing, the rhythmic motion soothing in its familiarity. She worked through each tangle with practiced ease, her movements fluid and deliberate.

(Y/N) watched in silence, mesmerized by the way Toph's fingers danced through her hair, untangling knots with effortless grace. There was something intimate about the moment, a quiet exchange between friends bound by unspoken understanding.

"Your hair is beautiful," (Y/N) said softly, breaking the silence.

Toph glanced up, a small smile playing at the corners of her lips. "Thanks. It's a pain to manage sometimes, but I wouldn't trade it for anything."

(Y/N) hesitated for a moment before speaking again. "Do you ever wish you could cut it short, like mine?"

Toph paused, her expression thoughtful. "Sometimes, yeah. It would be easier, especially when I'm training. But... it's a part of who I am, you know? Cutting it would feel like losing a piece of myself."

(Y/N) nodded, understanding flickering in her eyes. "I get that."

Toph set down the brush, turning to face (Y/N) fully. "I get that you're worried. I can sense it. Your heart is racing." Toph walked over to her bed where (Y/N) sat, sinking into the mattress. "I'm gonna miss you, but I also believe in you, (Y/N)."

(Y/N) felt a weight lift off her shoulders, a sense of freedom washing over her. With Toph's unwavering support, she knew she could embrace her true self, messy hair and all. And as they sat together, basking in the warmth of their friendship, (Y/N) realized that sometimes, the most beautiful thing about a person isn't their appearance, but the authenticity of their spirit.

(Y/N) turned her head to look at toph, her face going red at the sight of her graceful face, She wanted to kiss her. Yeah, she did.

As (Y/N) gazed at Toph, her cheeks flushed with a warmth that had nothing to do with embarrassment. She was captivated by the gentle curve of Toph's lips, the sparkle in her eyes that hinted at hidden depths. And in that moment, a realization washed over her with startling clarity – she wanted to kiss her.

The thought sent a shiver down (Y/N)'s spibe, her heart pounding in her chest as she wrestled with her emotions. It was a risk, she knew, to confess her feelings, especially when their friendship hung in the balance. But the longing in her chest was too powerful to ignore, a flame that refused to be extinguished.

With trembling hands, (Y/N) reached out, cupping Toph's cheek gently as she leaned in, her heart pounding in her ears. And then, their lips met in a soft, tentative kiss, a silent affirmation of the emotions that had been brewing beneath the surface.

For a moment, time seemed to stand still as they savored the sweetness of the moment, their hearts beating in perfect synchrony. And when they finally pulled away, their breath mingling in the air, (Y/N) found herself smiling, a sense of peace settling over her like a warm blanket.

Toph blinked in surprise, her lips curved in a soft smile. (Y/N) chuckled nervously, her cheeks still tinged with pink. And as they sat together, their fingers intertwined, (Y/N) had already started to realize what she was committing to. She's leaving. She's leaving to fight in a war that seemed as if it was never going to end to save her family.

As the reality of (Y/N)'s impending departure settled in, a somber silence descended upon the room, casting a shadow over the warmth of their shared moment. Toph's smile faltered slightly, her eyes reflecting the gravity of the situation.

(Y/N) squeezed Toph's hand tightly, her own heart heavy with the weight of her decision. She had made up her mind to fight in the war, to confront the forces that threatened her her homeland. But with each passing moment, the prospect of leaving Toph behind grew more daunting.

"I... I have to go," (Y/N) murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.

Toph nodded slowly, her expression a mixture of understanding and sadness. "I know," she said softly. "And I'll be here waiting for you when you get back. No matter what."

Tears welled up in (Y/N)'s eyes as she leaned forward, resting her forehead against Toph's. "I don't know what I'd do without you," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

Toph wrapped her arms around (Y/N) in a tight embrace, holding her close as if trying to shield her from the harsh realities of the world outside. "You won't have to find out," she promised, her voice steady despite the turmoil in her heart.

And as they held each other in the quiet of the room, (Y/N) found solace in Toph's arms, knowing that no matter how far apart they may be, their bond would endure.

Toph was her best friend, Toph was her girl. Toph was, well, Toph, and how could anyone forget someone like her?

...

should I make a part 2

[greenboyfriend]

pick an image! (tarot card reading)

image source image 1: a purple blob with many holes across its membrane, and a divot separating itself in two. hopefully, looking at this thing, you don't contract trypophobia. image 2: another wonderful blob, this time in blue. many little orange spikes peek out across its surface. the contrasting colors really make this image pop! image 3: less blob like, but still blob-ish, this yellow lad has many spindly arms. the better to hug you with, my dear!

1.・。.・゜✭

although you may feel like you've reached the pits as of late, the empress assures you that there are many, many good things ahead of & around you, so long as you lean into the energy of the chariot. you need to stop feeling like the victim! sure, you may be, but there is a time and place for self pity, and now is not it. some of you- though not all- may also be acting as a martyr, letting others step all over you. this must change! if you're unsure of where to start, going out into nature may help you find balance. it might also be a good idea to enjoy the things you do have at the moment, and you'll find that you have more than enough of what you need. your current challenge is to embody the chariot! maybe you're resisting it a bit, it's ok, we've all been there. but this has the potential for great results! fixate on your goal and use everything in your power to propel yourself towards it. it may take some time, and you may have to take multiple steps to get there, but that victory will be oh so sweet. you will have to resist your impulses to get angry, or for some, to put others before you. but the 9 of pentacles nails the point home: you need to do what is best for YOURSELF, using your own methods. you're already set up to succeed! just keep your head level, and resist the urge to give them a piece of your mind. i promise, once you've reaped what you're sowing now, it will be twice as satisfying as lashing out.

(10 of swords, the empress, the chariot reversed, 9 of pentacles)

2.・。.・゜✭

you're holding out against something. you're saying no, refusing, struggling!... im sorry to be the one to tell you, but you've gotta give it up. look, im all for resisting authority, but within this situation, rescinding your position will be beneficial. think of it as taking a step back in order to take two steps forward. you're going to have to go in the total opposite direction, to put others first and try to see things from their perspective. know that you're operating from a safe place, too, and that, no matter how things go, you will be protected. you may even be blissfully unaware to some of the worse aspects of this situation. you will need to find a solution that lasts. you don't have to do this on your own, whether you need help with resources or anything, asking for help is completely ok. it may feel like a sacrifice to change your mind, but this is the path that will leave you with a clean conscience. this situation likely has to do with family.

(7 of wands reversed, ace of pentacles, the hanged man, 6 of cups, 10 of pentacles)

3.・。.・゜✭

much like those who chose image two, you will also be or already are doing an about-face, where you overturn old priorities into the new. it seems like this is going to take a lot of tinkering to get just right, and will require that you have the perseverance to see it through. it won't be easy, but, as the king of pentacles' energy shines through you, anything can be made possible! being committed to your task and able to adapt as your situation changes will serve you well. don't be afraid to admit you were wrong, to ask for help from multiple places, or to take a rest after getting knocked down. this is all part of the process. the queen of cups gives you the added strength of patience, kindness, and a finely tuned intuition. pay attention to your dreams and immediate gut reactions, and use them as building blocks to further reach your goal. if you're like me, who wants all the questions to be solved as soon as they appear, taking your time and allowing yourself to wait for the perfect moment is not always easy-- but take this as a means to strengthen your resolve. we are all prone to different skillsets, patience being one of them. maybe finding help in this area would prove useful to you?

(king of pentacles, the hanged man, temperance, 9 of wands, queen of cups)

thanks for reading! if ur interested in getting an in depth reading with me, send me a dm or an ask!

[septemberlikestea]

big shadow of the erdtree final boss spoilerful thoughts. really long and rambly read!

a problem i have is that i LOVED how miquellas story unfolded and how well it fit in with most of my previous thoughts about him. like that hes kind and has truly noble and good intentions but doesnt completely refuse to use force if pushed (his charm to subdue any ill intent towards him, malenia serving to enact violence on his behalf), the curse extending beyond eternal youth to twist his fate into dangling his full potential just out of reach all the time (failing to save malenia from the scarlet rot, failing to either revive or fully kill godwyn, the haligtree failing to grow into a new erdtree, failing to bring in a new age because we kill him, etc) and that he truly does tend to make others do work for him (likely because of his eternal youth and therefore fragility). it was so compelling to me.

the fresh revelations about him i also enjoyed so thoroughly (how his charm actually works, st trina, how he truly sees the world the way a child does - there is injustice and thats unfair, everyone should be kind to everyone) and the way the messages of the crosses slowly went from him abandoning his flesh to abandoning aspects of his very being... i havent played dark sauce three but making him act as the lothric of the final boss is also very interesting because i do very much enjoy how these games take old concepts and play with them like dolls. its very fun and a unique way of storytelling that fromsoft can do with how rich their game history is.

somehow i did not find myself terribly upset with the lack of mentions of malenia (even though its still a bit.. hmm the way malenia cannot be mentioned without miquella but miquella... can. and is mentioned without malenia) due to how miquellas journey seems to have taken him to the rauh ruins and romina, who accepted and embraced the rot? im a little confused about how dryleaf dane is a summon for her even though hes on miquellas side but tbh the followers of miquella do some pretty misguided things because they want to be closer to him. im still inclined to believe romina could be an ally to miquella or at least agree with his philosophy - she guards the sealing tree that protects him in enir-ilim. she is compassionate, reaching out to the abandoned pests and aeonian butterflies to comfort them. miquellas statements on the order he intends to bring (the age of compassion and love) doesnt say anything about the rot, because the rot itself isnt inherently cruel or loving. it just is. and there isnt any obvious sign of conflict between miquella and romina that i found - and it ties in interestingly to how miquellas cut dialogue for malenias phase transition says "let all things flourish, whether graceful or malign." which always read to me like he is accepting that he cant help malenias scarlet rot beyond what he already did, now choosing to love and embrace her even as she becomes something other than herself. of course, cut dialogue is cut dialogue, but i find that it does offer some insight into the direction miquellas story could have taken and possibly did take.

...but i just cant get over how much of an asspull radahn 2 was like 😭 i did the questlines and i suspected he was going to be there from the dialogues (i still believed the leaks were fake because lets be real. he did look very modded) and i can KIND OF look back and see that there were things that MAYBE served as foreshadowing in the main game... like the st trina items in caelid or the lilies by redmane castle and that the true reason for the battle of aeonia was never wholly clear. i wont count the trailer whisper because that could have been anything. like i KIND OF can get behind the fact that radahn, being a sorcerer and a son of the greatest sorceress to ever live #1 queen rennala, would have a primal glintstone and therefore a soul that is quite friendly to being moved from body to body. we have at least two examples of this occurring, from characters with stories that involve quite a bit of body hopping and also are related to radahn being slain - ranni (his SISTER!!) and sellen (who is the character that introduces the concept of properly switching bodies).

so rannis body is made in her mentors image (though likely the face isnt the snow crones) but even if it wasnt - its a manmade puppet that can be made into anything. it also doesnt look anything like rannis empyrean body, being small and blue. sellens bodies are also puppets and we see that they dont suddenly morph in appearance to fit her soul - her old and new body have different hair colors and facial features. they look like her because they were made to look like her!

so why!! does radahn 2 look absolutely nothing like mohg!! the tiny horns on his arms are the least mohg thing he could have - mohg didnt have horns there!! where are mohgs horns that poked out his eye? where are the wings?? why is he so yassified. like.. hello... we established with ranni and sellen that the newly inhabited body doesnt change to look like the soul. if anything the soul itself might change to fit the body - rannis spirit face doesnt match up with her empyrean bodys face. what the hell happened there.

miquella was not established to be able to give makeovers to people, i dont think. like thats not a thing he was ever stated to be able to do in main game? but he can do that now? what happened? the intent seems to be that radahn 2 is a younger version of radahn but why is that... is it miquellas eternal youth applying to him now too? is he doing some twin prince curse sharing that makes his and radahns age even out? why is he wearing his old armor though.. and if radahn 2 is the idealised version of radahn from miquellas childhood memories im just a little confused why that is. was war enthusiast radahn really so reclusive that miquella never saw him since then? was miquella too busy to go to caelid? were all paintings of radahn property of rykard, even though rykard also seems to have interacted with miquella to some degree? i feel like the reason why radahn 2 looks the way he does is very much lost on me.

i feel like the already bad perception of radahn 2: electric boogaloo i got from having the buildup be so scarce in comparison to the other final boss (elden beast admittedly is a little twist boss but radagon is VERY well established through your whole journey, you learn so much about him as you go) combined with the fact that hes literally being dragged from the grave of his pretty complete story to be here... was made so much worse with his design. wouldnt it have been so much more enjoyable if he was a little... you know... fromsoft freaky. like good ole ludwig the horse-man abomination. or the one reborn. or godrick. or putrescent knight. ???

like even the fact that shamans had flesh that had the property of being able to fuse with others contributes little to explaining why radahn 2 looks the way he does - there shouldnt be any radahn flesh? alexander ate it armor and all? its just his soul in there? argh.

and the fact that omen horns disappear on death (sometimes! aka with morgott, mohgs literal twin. doesnt seem to work this way for other cruicible horned beings?) doesnt seem to be related here because radahn 2 HAS horns. and also two eyes. did he just... always have little horns under all his armor? why is this being revealed now.

also what kind of kindness did radahn have... kindness towards sellia? towards his horsey? the cut description of his cat? he is described as a general, his armies love fighting and war. hes godfreys #1 stan, and godfrey killed soooo many giants for being.. giants. waging war was so central to godfreys being that losing the opportunity to fight made him worthless to marika. he is loving towards dead morgott and that doesnt make him a kind person. radahn being a person and capable of experiencing love doesnt make him a kind person!! what did i miss!! i dont really think there was a retcon but i definitely think that something is really really lacking with this specifc bit.

to close this off ill say that initially i full-on hated the boss reveal. both how it worked as our first meeting with miquella and radahn 2. my feelings have settled a lot since then! but while reviewing miquellas story made me feel satisfied with his arc, i am really really struggling to enjoy radahn being... there. and he definitely is just There. he exists. doesnt say anything. with how little influence he has on the dlc plot i feel like they could have just cut the middleman and kept mohg around. would have honestly worked well enough with the formless mother influence everywhere. though frejya would probably have to go with radahn and that would suck. is it worth having an unsatisfying boss in order to have a very enjoyable npc? i dont know what to think.

also the vessel and lord thing is really adding a new layer of "???" with godfrey. is he also possessing a body that wasnt his??? is there some deep lore about how godfrey is the soul but hoarah loux is the body??? god. i dont know. i dont know.

i do expect that my opinions will inevitably change somehow as time goes on and i find more connections between things... but after 2 weeks of digesting the lore im still not liking how this all turned out.

TL;DR: i love miquella but why is radahn there.

[ksharoly]

Cold Blood

In the King's landing there was a family living in peace their first daughter was named y/n they shower her with love and care as she grew up to be an independent lady as the town's say that she's like a rose in a land of dragon's a beautiful rose with an Golden heart they can be see as a happy family but that did not last long as the targaryens find about the debt of her family.

as the queen ordered the two to get a execution by the law and its rule as their daughter will be send to to dorne forever and will not be allowed to visit the king's landing.

"no!!! please dont do this!" y/n plead to them as she scream her lungs out her parents kneels as the two executor were beside them Ready to cut their heads.

"your heads will be the payment for your Debs and you little girl will be send to dorne as you will be a slave for them" alicent said as she looks at them with blank face.

"you've have no right to do this my parents did not deserve this your accusations are not true!" you Said angrily you know to your self that you parents didn't do it as they work hard for getting money and you were beside them helping them.

"you know nothing but being a slut just because of your beautiful body and face you're lucky that i did not cut your throat" alicent threaten her as she holds her neck and puts pressure on to them.

"your future son is no heir to the iron throne princess rhaenyra is the heir and that will not change even you put that big lies Infront the people" you said as Alicent slapped you.

"cutt their throat i have no time spending for this unimportant thing" alicent ordered her executors as the two obey their queen and cut their throat.

"no!" you said screaming as they take the lives of your parents tear's running down your eyes as you collapse.

that day the old you died as the new you born you've promised to your self that your parents will be avenge and the targaryens will die as the fire eats them alive.

the life in dorne was great because no targaryens ever conquer the dorne as the Martell family took you in their house and treat you as their own you learned a lot from them such as sparing and languages.

after eleven years you're now the princess of dorne of the house Martell you've grown beautiful and strong also learning things from everyone.

but one day a loud roar was heard you know to yourself that they came from the king's landing as you walked outside you can see a dragon a yellow dragon to be exact that must be rhaenyras dragon but you asked yourself that what may be the reason that she has come here.

rhaenyra land's safely as she get off her dragon and Walk towards the house of martell she knew to herself that one day Alicent will call her first son to the iron throne she wanted more support incase that happened.

the guards open the door and the maid's guide her to the room as she entered the room she didn't expect the girl she have meet in her younger age is the princess of dorne.

"and what is your purpose in here i believed that no targaryens have ever conquer the land dorne" you said to her as you put down your book.

"im here for the king to make an alliance between us for my reign for iron throne" rhaenyra said as she took out some what a piece of paper.

"and im guessing that green queen will put here son to the iron throne let's just be truthful no women has ever sit in the iron throne and what do you expect princess rhaenyra" you said mockingly.

"im sure that im the true heir to the iron throne and i will protect my people for internity"

"you are pretty confident about that princess rhaenyra protecting your people when even your younger days you couldn't even do that" you said as you talk about the past.

"i was a princess not a Queen in that days" rhaenyra said defending herself.

"then you've said to your self that even in your younger days that you couldn't be a queen isn't that what your trying to say" you said to her as she began to get angry to the conversation.

"i don't know what you're trying to say but i will be be the queen no matter what will happen" rhaenyra said to her.

"then Good luck to that the people of dorne doesn't easily accept targaryens" you said while smirking.

rhaenyra angrily left dorne as she continues to travel and find alliances.

y/n was thinking of some plan on how she can destroy or make the targaryens regret their sins.

the day of aegons coronation the day the crown will be place in his head.

" aegon Targaryen the second of his name King of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men Lord of the Seven Kingdoms Protector of the Realm"

but before the crown was place in his head outside of the castle was hundred of warrior was against of aegon ruling the seven kingdoms as rhaenys also crashed at the coronation with her dragon meleys.

"unworthy!!!"

"unworthy!!!"

"unworthy!!!"

some of the seven kingdoms was against aegon ruling the seven kingdoms as the warrior and the lord's in other houses protest while y/n goes to the dragon stone.

"my queen the king's crown has been stolen"

"what this can't be?!" rhaenyra was angry the crown was supposed to be hers and hers to be claimed.

daemon stood by her side as he was trying to calm her down.

"is this what your looking for" y/n appeared with her guards and warrior's she was holding the king's viserys crown.

"you is this part of your plan!" rhaenyra was frustrated she couldn't control her temper.

"and what if it is what are you gonna do rhaenyra Targaryen the cruel , king maegor with teats, the pretender and the whore of the dragonstone" you throw the crown at them.

"crown is not the only thing that make you a ruler"

"i y/n martell princess of the dorne declare the targaryens will not live at peace as the people will find the better ruler of the seven kingdoms" you said as you all leave.

[bullet-prooflove]

Ex!Joe Part Four: Crash - Joe Velasco x Reader

Tagging: @plaidbooks @misscharlielulu @witches-unruly-heart @storiesofsvu @magic-multicolored-miracle @rosaliedepp @cycat4077 @deekaag @crazy4chickennuggets @cixrosie @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @mysoulisasunflower @legit9thlunaticwarrior @mydarkestsecretlol @the-adzukibean @wooshwastaken @kiwiithecrazybird @justreblogginfics @anime-weeb-4-life @hey-dw @alwaysachorusgirl @julieelliewrites @telepathay @weiwei0210 @nessamc @spaghettificationandpretzels @nu1freakshow @proceduralpassion @callsignartemis @kmc1989

Part One: Left Behind - Joe’s life is thrown into turmoil when you show up in the Squad Room.

Part Two: Brighton Beach - Joe finds out why you’re back in Manhatten.

Part Three: History - You explain what happened all those years ago.

Joe doesn’t go home after he drops you off in front of your apartment building. He can’t stand the idea of being alone with his thoughts in that empty space, so he rides through the city, the air whipping at his jacket as he speeds through the streets. There’s an exhilaration of the sensation, it drowns out the noise in his head as the buildings whip past him. He doesn’t want to think about how untethered he feels right now, how his chest aches and his heart feels like it’s breaking into a thousand tiny pieces.

He's used to the dissociation; it’s been his constant companion throughout the years. The department shrink told him it was a survival mechanism, something his mind does to protect himself. It’s how he got through his time in Juarez, his recruitment into the gangs, the shit he did undercover.

The old Joe, the one that you’d known, would have hit a bar by now. He would have drowned out the past twenty four hours in a haze of booze and sex, he would have eradicated every single memory of you until tomorrow morning. He doesn’t want to do that tonight, he doesn’t want to forget about his baby, the one you had carried inside of you. He grieves for his son, because Joe knows that it was a boy, he feels it in the depths of his soul.

He remembers that undercover assignment, the way his heart sank when he was told that it had been extended.

It’s the last one, he had promised you the night before he left, his black holdall in his hand. He’d kissed you on the forehead, his thumb tracing over the curve of your cheek. Just one more and I’m out.

He’d meant it. The life was getting too much for him, he was losing track of who he was. He’d told you as much as he lay in bed the night that McGrath had given him the assignment. Your head was resting on his chest, your fingertips toying with the gold chain around his neck.

I want to build a future with you, he had whispered against your hairline. I want to live a life our children can be proud of.

When he was away Joe spent his nights dreaming of the future the two of you would have. A wedding at city hall, you in a white dress with that beautiful smile of yours, a bebe or two. A dark haired girl and boy rushing through the backyard of a house in Queens. First steps, first words, first day of school, he wanted all of it and more. He wanted a lifetime…

He wished that he’d turned McGrath down, that he had been there when you needed him, that you hadn’t had to endure what happened on your own. He can’t imagine how that must have felt, to suddenly discover that you have this little life growing inside of you, only to have it extinguished. Then to sit in the wreckage of it all, waiting for a man who had no idea of when he was coming home, if he was coming home, because that last one…

He almost didn’t make it.

He hasn’t told you how it nearly ended, with a gun thrust against his temple as he knelt in front of a shallow grave, one that he had dug himself.

His eyes start to blur, and he realises far too late that he’s going too fast for this stretch of road. He doesn’t see the diesel spill until the bike hits it. It’s already sliding out from underneath him by the time he tries to counter it. There’s a weightlessness before the impact, it seems to stretch for eons and then the earth rushes up to meet him. He smashes into it, his helmet bouncing off the concrete with such force he tastes blood in his mouth. The edges of his vision starts to bleed into black, his entire body feels like it’s being ripped apart, like something is tearing at this ligaments and he bites back a scream because the agony it’s too fucking much.

In the distance Joe hears a child laughing and he knows he’s going to meet his son.

Love Joe Velasco? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[rise-my-angel]

Robb’s like you call her your lady wife yet fuck her out here like a common whore.

Jon’s like at least it’s better than an army camp with my mother listening

Or

jon’s like i heard her from your chambers to mine, maybe treat her like you love her for once

Robb’s like I’m not the one who got her pregnant and risking her life.

Jon’s yelling she got killed in YOUR war brother but robb’s walking away

Im gonna be honest I've read this like 5 times and I'm still laughing. The accuracy? The pettiness?? The way they call each other out like total fucking hypocrites with no self awareness over it???

Robb's like, "You fuck her out in the open as if you're in a brothel. Isn't she your Queen now, do you have no respect? You can't even close your window, everyone can hear you two at night just outside your window. I never treated her like a whore."

"No, you just call her one."

"That's without context, Snow. Shut the fuck up. Maybe if you talked like that to her once in a while, she wouldn't have to come crawling to me the next night begging to have fun. And what the fuck is with the bruises, are you beating her or what?"

Just will rip into Jon for how often Jon fucks you so roughly where anyone can see or walk in on, because Robb absolutely hates the idea of people seeing you that way.

The second Jons like "Maybe treat her like you love her for once." It turns into blood sports all over again. Jon just says this while seething because he hates when he has to hear you with Robb because he has such a dark clawing need to burst in and steal you from Robb himself. (He cannot tell Tormund about those thoughts he'd never hear the end of the jokes about how much he's turned his little crow into a wildling finally).

Meanwhile Robb rips into Jon for shit that is not at all his fault, like taking you North while pregnant, for the incident in Moat Cailin with the Brotherhood, for the time you were attacked in the Nightfort by a wight. Just tears him a new one for all of that.

Jon is just like "She was murdered fighting your war, what are you talking about?" Robb isn't listening though, he's too busy listing off the ways Jon has not protected you properly, as if Robb didn't watch you get stabbed to death in front of his eyes.

Jon gets him triple. First with the fact that your father thinks of Jon like a son, and all he did was scold and talk shit towards Robb when he was the one who married you to him. Second that he's the one with the experiance and the Valyrian Steel sword that can protect you from the coming winter. Then hammers the final nail like, "Me and her are bonded for life, she brought me back from the dead. The old gods know we belong together."

Robb just hits him like, "Yeah, well I still fucked her in my bed for her first time. I'll always be the one who took her maidenhood and had her begging for me to do it, too."

Meanwhile you have hidden away in Theons chambers like old times, telling Olly if either of them come looking for you, then they have to find you themselves, and no using the direwolves to sniff you out, thats cheating. They never guess Theons chambers for so long, because they assume you wouldn't want to hang out in the room Theon used to annoy the shit out of you by loudly fucking so many women in. Which is why you hide out there.

"If they are at each others throats long enough while we're hiding here, then maybe for once I can go to sleep without passing out from exhaustion."

Theon just stares at you in an amused disbelief. "How'd a prude like you grow up to get so much dick?"

If you didn't need five goddamn minutes away from their possessive arguing, you'd have left then and there but only because you know Theons right. You didn't know what sex was until you were almost thirteen, how did this become your life?

[dateamonster]

longass monster high liveblog: season 2 edition lets gooooooo

rule school

very first thought of the new season: i want a doll of clawdeens wereruler armor so bad. also im excited for more worldbuilding lore stuff, and more varied werecreature designs! part of me gets a little irked sometimes that there seems to be disproportionate attention payed to werecreatures and the inner workings of their society over other monster species, but i cannot deny, i love a funny lil furry.

especially this side character bear dude who keeps showing up

rly feels like there should be a clause in were-society for what to do if ur wereruler is a fuckin kid. she should not have to be doing all this.

when she finally gets that armor off its gonna be like rock lee with the weights

i love these cunty old werewolf ladies ngl

damn speedreader clawdeen

that painting of foxford is soo cute clawdeen i loove u

toralei!! toralei HUG!!!!!!!! hug AND a pun!!! shes sososososo cute

oh and shes maaaad that she showed affection where other people can see lol the Dynamic.. it is unfolding before my very eyes..

oh damn the fox guy is a sneaky motherfucker? who could have foreseen this....... granted the whale plushie is unexpected

new witch in town

draculauras gay lil witch friend <333

lol is humans using monster slang a microaggression? much to think about.

im really interested in this developing plotline about draculaura being pressured to be like the model of Good Witchcraft. it works well with her established character and arc of like trying to live up to her fathers reputation and status in the monster world. poor girl never seems to be able to just fucking relax.

skelita! i love that shes trying out witchcraft, and the art-based magic is a fun angle too! i can totally see where this is going tho. drac is super serious about magic because theres all this pressure on her while skelita is just trying it out in a casual way so theyre at odds. its an interesting dilemma because i can def see both sides.

im really happy the writing seems like empathetic to both positions here. skelita deserves to try magic her way on her own terms, but its also totally understandable draculaura would feel protective over witchcraft when any misuse of it is ultimately going to reflect on her since she was the one working to legitimize it. respectability is a double edged sword fr!

play it again clawd

aw clawd is such a sweetiepie mamas boy. i def feel a little bad for him. imagine if ur little sister became the queen of ur entire society and ur just like. hangin out there.

oh were doing a groundhog day? im not a big timeloop plot person but ill try not to be too biased

this is also how me and my roommate act when theres a fly in the house

aw im rly glad they acknowledge that selena had like a whole life in beheme that she had to leave behind when she came home.. idk if theyre planning to actually do anything more substantial with that but yea when you think about its kinda fucked up! they probably had friends and stuff! clawd was *born* there! i get why theyd choose to stay here with their family and all even if they could easily go back, but like, its gotta be sad at times!

ok not bad as a timeloop ep goes. still not my fav but like clawds so cute and its so nice seeing him do stuff with his family <3

thats all for tonight i think! see u next time!!

[holly-fixation]

Three... Guards?: Ch 16

Summary: Tifa finds Cloud at the train station in Sector Seven. It’s the first time she’s seen him in seven years. But he’s not alone. Three silver haired boys protected him. Three silver haired boys that triggered memories of her hometown. Of steel through her chest. Of SOLDIER First Class. Of Him.

Kalm offered a small break from the journey awaiting them all.

Please Enjoy!

Inspired by the prompt by @im-totally-not-an-alien

Chapter 16: Queen's Blood

Tifa and Strife left the rooftop not long after spotting the former Crimson Soldier, Tifa to attempt to get some rest while Strife said he had a few more things to take care of before he could turn in for the night. The older blond dropped Tifa off at her bedroom door, and she took one final deep breath before opening it. 

Almost everything was the same as she left it, but her bed was claimed by the crimson beast they found in the lab.

“Sorry…” came the only apology, Aerith's whisper just above the quiet breaths of the other occupants. 

The couch sat unattended with a white sheet and blanket on its cusions. The two remnants of Sephiroth that shared the room were laying in their same locations with only pillows, stirring slightly away from the door. 

“Don't worry about it,” Tifa brushed off softly before taking the saved place.

* * * 

“Apparently it's ‘Queens Blood’,” Strife explained to Cloud, blue eyes locked on the gifted deck from the owner of the inn.

“It's an effective method for obtaining information, cards, and gil,” Genesis defended. 

“So why didn't you save us all trouble and get a third room?” Barret called out. 

“Because I'm no master of a children's card game, as easy as it is to pick up. Abilities become difficult to manage and decks are limited to fifteen cards. I lost. And per our agreement, I donated my previous winnings to street musicians.”

“Look, I'll take care of getting the rest of us upgraded weapons if you two can focus on finding Shinra's next move,” Cloud suggested while holding a hand to his head, earning an odd look from his future self. “You said you've already changed things. Let's make sure Shinra and Sephiroth are on the same track so we can cut them off.”

The Remnant attached to Cloud's hip stared at the ground despite the eyes on him. 

“And also… maybe…” Aerith spoke up with a small raise of her hand, “relax and enjoy the town a little? Only for a few hours.”

Both Cloud Strifes stared hard. 

“We could all use a real rest,” the one armed father agreed. “As much as sleepin’ on rocks in the middle of dead lands was nice and all.”

“And we won't be stopping anyone if we burn ourselves out,” the bartender mentioned, her crimson eyes sparkling against mako blues. “And I… I'm still recovering from everything last night.”

Strife closed his eyes with a sigh and Cloud turned away. 

“...Fine. Two hours. Then we get out of town,” the leader relented.

Aerith and Tifa high fived. 

“Broden said to meet him here when we're ready to leave Kalm,” Strife added. 

“Then that's where we'll meet.” Cloud said no more on the matter. He felt the weight of the child at his side but made no mention of it, walking out into the Republic themed town outside. 

Worn cobblestone streets connected every inch of commercial and residential land, mapping the town so perfectly it was simultaneously difficult and easy to lose oneself in it. It took longer than Cloud would've liked to identify the weapons shop. 

The owner seemed surprised when they walked in. Cloud's hands itched for the sword on his back, but he forced himself to wait. “Something wrong?”

“Not used to seeing kids in here is all. Is he old enough?” 

“He won't be touching anything. He likes to look.” 

“Well, then what will it be today?”

“What do you have?” Despite a glance around the store, none of the weapons on display suited his party at all. 

Just their luck, the store had everything useful in the back, but there was no way Cloud or anyone in their group had enough money to buy a gun prosthetic, a double wide long sword, a magic staff, two sets of combat gloves, a feathered collar, a new pistol, and a small katana. 

Cloud purchased his own upgrade first and walked away. 

The child at his side poked at his pockets. 

The blond shuffled through its contents and found the small box gifted by the store owner. “Huh. Good idea.”

It looked like it was time to duel. 

* * * 

The flower girl paced along the entrances to far too many colorful shops, each with bows and collars and necklaces of beautiful and sometimes amazing power. 

“We still need instant knockout resistance, frog immunity, physical and magical dampening resistance, poison immunity if we're lucky,  and Stop diffusers. How long do you think it'll take us to make enough Gil for all the accessories we need?” Aerith turned to the oldest boy, who stared at her like a Nibel deer in headlights. 

“Uh? Uhhh???”

“Okay, maybe that's too much to ask. Can you carry the bags then?”

“Yes please.” 

* * * 

“Why didn't you take Loz for this…?” Yazoo questioned as he balanced a multitude of bottles. Potions, ethers, antidotes, meals. The pile blocked most of his sight.  

“Because you said you wanted to check out the tavern.” Barret's loud reply came. “The hell did you think I was doin’ bringin’ ya?”

“I assumed you volunteered to allow Tifa more rest…”

“Well that too. Can't have her tucker out so quickly. Been through a lot and all.” 

“Can't we create some of these items for free using an item transmuter and what we found in the badlands…?”

“Find us a transmuter without Shinra tracking and then we'll start talking.”

The boy sighed, adjusting the bottles. “Can we at least purchase a sack for this then…?”

“I'll think on it.”

* * * 

“Why do you have interest in this anyway?” Genesis questioned before playing the first Shinra Trooper card of the game, keeping the real troop in sight through a window of a café. 

“The game represents human tactical abilities. I appreciate your willingness to play a few rounds with me.” Red XIII played a grassland wolf. Both recently escaped lab rats kept an ear on Shinra's men, hoping for a useful slip up. 

“I have to ask, how did a creature like you end up in Hojo's lab?”

“I could ask the same of you.”

“Fair enough. But I'm positive my story will trap us here until dawn. May I at least ask where you're from?”

The creature grumbled. The man in red sighed in defeat, a new card on the mat. 

* * * 

“How dare you break through my impenetrable fortress by cheating,” the woman surrounded by a wall of cardboard boxes proclaimed.

“What cheating? You're delusional,” Cloud scoffed. 

“I see just fine with these protected eyes I have, and the little one at your side does not hide his subtle hints to your deck.”

Mako eyes met a head of silver hair that refused to look at either players. “He could not care less.”

“I'll only accept defeat and give you the reward you so desire if you allow me to play the child in a fair match.”

“Are you really that petty?”

“You walk through my impenetrable defenses and judge how I view my enemies?”

“...fair enough.” Cloud sighed, kneeling down to capture the boy's attention. “Just one round so we can move on?”

Kadaj gave the smallest of pouts. 

“I will never ask you to do this again.”

The remnant hesitantly grabbed the cards, eyes glazed and movements slow. 

“Now,” The woman announced, “let the battle begin.”

First turn belonged to the boy who skimmed the cards, reading each ability carefully. He kept looking between his hands and the playing field. 

Cloud looked over the child's shoulder. 

“Ah-ah-ah! No aid!”

“It's not aid.” The blond pressed a button behind the dragon, signaling the next move. All of Kadaj's cards required too many pawns to use. He couldn't do anything if he wanted to. 

His bad start was not balanced by his skill. In fact, Cloud stepped behind the child because he kept cringing at every decision made.

He might be able to turn this around if he-

Nope. Never mind. 

But if he uses that card just right-

Of course not. Not a chance. 

The end score tipped the scales with the greatest number of chips: 25 to 28.

Well at least she was bad at the game too. 

Cloud couldn't wait to get back on track and end these useless hours of rest. At least it earned them all new weapons. 

.

.

.

.

To be continued…

Thanks for reading!

Chapter List 

Note: I tired myself out on this chapter very quickly. Turns out I'm not cut out for filler. We'll get back on track next time in the Grasslands. 

[safely-in-vhagars-belly]

House of the dragon short read a summery for all those who have forgotten for season 2 and totally true to the facts and how it happened.

This might be the most chaotic shitpost recap I've ever seen.

Viserys: Nah I want a son.

Rhaenyra: Noo father I'm just as goooood.

Daemon: You have meeeee.

Viserys: No I want a son. Gimme one.

Aemma: nooo now I must dieeee. Here's your son tho.

Viserys; Aemma my uwu nooo

Baelon: FATHER I AM UR SON

viserys: yes u are uwu u are so cute lets make photos.

Maester: sire u should back off and let the kid breath Sire, no do not bring out the tide pods. Sire...SIRE!!!!

viserys: I'm off now that I have my photos for my dragongran with him and his first tidepod! This will bring in the likes and defeat Daemons unholy post.

Maester:*kills child* I hate targaryens I hate them I hate them I hate them. Stupid ugly white haired ppl

Baelon: well fuck you too you cunt. You think I want to be in this family? Ha. Jokes on you.

Viserys: NOOO MY SOON SOB SOB WHO DID THISSS

daemon: LETS FUCKING GOO IM THE TRUE HEIR YALL BETTER REMEMBER THIS. DRINKS ON THE TAP OF THE CROWN. THATS ME ANYWAY HAHA FUCK U BAELON U LOSER FOR ONE DAY.

Daemon when appearing for vizzy: Look we all make goofs & errors what's most important is where our hearts are at.

Viz: I'm convinced you have no heart!

Daemon: NAAAAAAH U CANT. IM UR HEIR

Viz: I already have a child. U are a child daemon. U are just not mine

Guards: OOOOOOHHHH

Viz: daemon you know where the trash goes. Follow it.

Viserys: I still want my boii

Aegon: I AM HERE FATHER. LOVE ME.

VISERYS: what the fuck are you. You can't be my son why ur hair like that.

Alicent: husband I'm like 17 and I got u a son. Ur other wifey failed to do that. Us hightowers have curls. Its a curse and a blessing.

Otto: maybe it's magic, maybe it's Hightower genetics.

Rhae: rude ass bitch all of you. Look at how cute he is. He's my baby brother I will protect him. SAY RHAERHAE

alicent: rhae he came out me a moment ago he can't talk yet.

Aegon: (as a baby to his sister) I am the superior one and u should fetch me a snack in the kitchen, you white haired wench.

Rhae:*handing back Aegon* nah u can have this shit back. Do us all a favour next time just go the targaryen way and let it die.

(We light the way)

Vizzy: I wanna fuck u (to alicent)

Alicent:( alright its my duty.

The most unpassionate scene:

Aemond, happily making his entrance in the show as a sperm: WIEEEEEE! Hahaha thank you gods, I won't let you down. I will bring chaos into this family!!!!

The gods; good, our little apprentice. Good.

Rhaenyra: I'm so sneaky hehe

Daemon and rhae rhae: *almost fuck each other*

Daemon: wait I can't I suddenly decided I have morals and standards. Also u just a child tf.

Rhaerhae: no what is this? Fuck you I'm nailing that dornish snack as if he's a lose screw in a IKEA shelf

Daemon: No not Crispin! Get baaaack

Rhaerha: Too late

Crispin: Ah yes. My fantasy is finally coming true!!!!

Crispin: My queen forget ur pathetic kingdom full of incest and forget that old fuck that is your father. Let us depart on a ship and start a life that will not raise questions at all with your hair and our new found riches.

Rhae: I am listening.

Crispin: We can sell...oranges

Rhae; Nah fuck this shit where are the bananas. I love bananas. U should go with your oranges if that makes you happy. Pathetic fruit picker. This is why my uncle bested u. If you relied on bananas none of this would have happened.

Crispin: Rhae rhae..

Rhae: NAH have u even tried defeating a yiga clan member with a orange? You never played zelda did you? And you call yourself a warrior? Out of my sight.

Crispin: but I love u. Why would you sit a comfortable throne instead of working your ass off with me in the fields?:(

Rhae: Honey I never worked a day in my life and I intend to keep that tradition.

Helaena at some point: MHEEWWWWHH

Alicent: he said he wanted a son, so zip it.

Helaena:*cries*

Rhae rhae: Kidnap me, make me your wife and slay my father's guards.

Viserys who can read their lips and understand Valyrian: What kind of wattpad fanfic is this shit. What's next Harry styles flying in on dragonback?

Harry styles: HELLO WESTEROS. THIS IS FOR OUR PRINCESS. ALL OF YOU; WATERMALEON SUGAR. HIGGGGGH.

Crowd: HIIGGGGGH.

Aemond in Alicents belly: Grgg *DEMONIC NOISES*

Alicent: why does rhaenyra get Harry styles and I all I get is traumas and struggles. Also why is prince daemon and her acting out duncon fics when I INTRODUCED RHAE RHAE TO WATTPAD AND HE GAVE ME HIS FAVOUR I HATE THIS AHHH.

Alicent; why am i so angry... I don't understand.

Aemond in her belly: MOAHAHAHA IT WORKS.

Ser Harwin strong; I really should not. It is against the rules.

Rhae rhae: *breathes*

Harwin: If they cut off my cock I still got my fingers-

---

Time skip

Aegon: I don't know what happened but suddenly I'm borderline rapist and I'm also a drunk and like long legged people because it reminded me of dinosaurs and I got that phase when my father still loved me.

Aemond: I'm kind of cute and sympathetic but you will hate me later. It's OK. I will get over it ;)

Helaena: I am the mighty seer. I know all. OOH SPIDERS.

---

Vhagar: (dreaming) a big strong dragon approaches vhagar and courts her with a beheaded child corpse. She takes it and they mate.

Vhagar, waking up: WHO DARES INTERRUPT MY DREAMS?!

aemond; shit she's so big

Vhagar:*pulling a knife* WANT TO REPEAT THAT.

Aemond: uhm no ma'am! May I...May I ride you

Vhagar; NO :) *goes to sleep*

Aemond: shit shit...

Aemond: OBEY.

vhagar; WHAT IS WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ALWAYS WAKING ME UP. FIRST LAENA NOW YOU. LAENA HAS NOT EVEN MET SEBASTIAN YET UNDER THE SEA. DO YOU MIND IM MOURING HERE.

Aemond: I understand..

Aemond;...its just...

Aemond: the seaweed is always greener.

Vhagar: (sigh): in somebody else's lake

/

Don't ask.

I Don't know what the hell happend either.

[brutalitybunny]

hey you are THE dhurkedatzer to me and i need your opinion on this. they remind me of teo torriatte (let us cling together) by queen what are your thoughts here you know them better than anyone else i know

thank u for asking for 2 reasons. 1 its incredibly sweet to be acknowledged as the reigning king of dhurkedatz (no but seriously aww thankyou i love to talk abt them<3) and 2 i was planning on rotting in bed all day but i had to give this my full attention....so i'm up and awake at 3 pm. u saved me

Anyway

(in a puddle of blood on the floor)yeah it;s very them Oh my goddd are u KIDDING ME!!! the dhurke to datz of it all!!! dhurke in the twilight realm smacking his face against the clouds like DOES DATZ KNOW I STILL LOVE HIM ... DOES HE KNOW!! I HAVE TO TELL HIM!!

there's so many good lines for Them... the "there's no one else/could warm my heart as much as you"... and this whole verse is so. me when the dhurke urging datz to keep fighting even without him for their shared dreams ok? dont forget him or get caught up in the grief ok...? cus dhurke is always WITH HIM!!!

or this little part :(!! please!! the dhurke who wants and needs datz to know how much he rly did love him...and be strong ok? cus he's always with him ok???? be strong... dont turn your heart...dont become jaded to the world they tried so hard to protect together just bc dhurke is gone now......... im losing it. also 'the years go by' is emphasizing how datz has to grow old without him HELPPP IM ON THE FLOOR! I CANT LIVE LIKE THIS!!

[oonajaeadira]

im trying to not with that outfit but I can't

a cardigan, a high hip cut cardigan at that, is an accent piece, not the whole top, am I appreciating the low cut of the undershirt? yes, but I cannot with the rest of it.

THAT CARDIGAN IS TOO SMALL AND IT IS SUFFERING THE MAN IS TOO BROAD

the pants are... fine?... I certainly think he looks better with more form fitting pant legs, his silhouette is very boxy. not like, Max in WW84 boxy but it feels close to me.

so i think, with the right top the pants would be salvageable, the cardigan... undo the bottom two buttons, a nice dark undershirt, and form fitting pants, I'd still have questions, but they'd prob be fewer

I'm gonna apologize for the old lady I will some day become because if I'm sitting on my porch and someone walks by wearing that? I can just hear my cranky old self. "This world's goin' to shit."

WARNING: Do not read more. Adira's gonna go flip some tables.

Transcript: Begin rant.

Listen. I woke up to that monstrosity and had to go to an online meeting and engage for two hours on very little sleep. I went and took a nap and I'm still fkn cranky about it.

No. You know what? I'm REALLY fkn cranky about it. Like, it feels like a personal attack.

I also need to apologize to everyone who has felt this way over Fabio's choices lately. I feel your pain. But I actually love his style and that he keeps our boy comfy and whimsical and up to date (because, let's face it, left to his own devices, Pedro is a teenage boy). I mean, I didn't exactly love the pants for the wine event, but let's not get into that. I got over those. Because you know what? Pedro looks good in everything.

Or so I thought until this morning.

When I woke up from my nap I actually groaned. Not because my back fkn sucks but because I knew this outfit was still out there. That it had happened. That someone whose job it is to dress people found the most beautiful man on earth and did that to him.

How do you pick four colors and not have any of them compliment each other???? And then pick four BLOCK colors, no patterns, but all different fabric textures? And then choose a sweater that's made from something so shiny and synthetic that I can hear it creaking every time it stretches over his shoulders? Like, that's the kind of shit they can't sell at Kohls so they take it off the racks and put it in clothing subscription boxes and try to convince people that "it's not ugly, it's just new and hip and so fashion forward you're not used to it yet." If it caught fire it wouldn't even burn, just melt into a bubbling pool and then cool into a puddle of silly putty.

No.

*screams into a smushmallow*

You know, I'm gonna scoot past the fit of the pants and their zoot-suit pleats and their droopy cuffs and forgive them just so I can concentrate on that sweater. Don't put him in that color!!!! Boy has beautiful undertones and can wear just about anything and you picked the one fkn color that makes him look like an abomination!!!

*throws an arm over my eyes like a drama queen except really not ironically*

There are so many crimes happening here and on a not so cranky day I'd mostly just feel protective that she made him look terrible oh mah gahhhhh

But it's a cranky day. And someone that works in the fashion industry thinks it's okay to pair camel shit plastic with Heinz 57 Stray Cats. If that's what's coming of the runways these days give me two spoons and I'll remove my own damn eyeballs my own damn self--

*takes a deep sigh. tries to forget the pain. lies in an agonized heap*

Did you know edibles are legal in Minnesota now? Yeah. The dems put it on a bill with a bunch of other great stuff and the republicans in the state house didn't read it and signed it into law. It was really great. That was a good day. Legalized gummies.

I'm gonna go get some. BRB.

[homestuck-for-the-first-time]

lvl 247

so hmph

i'm up to page 247, and wow this is very, specific kinds of weird. im impressed. lets take a look at everything so far.

the LORE

this little fella is cute. it's his birthday and look at him go! if i understood the plot correctly this sort of takes place in a weird alternate video-game esque 2000's. i'm guessing he's like 13? must protect at all costs.

the humour is also,,, interesting. i genuinely cannot pinpoint exactly what this all means. i cannot predict it. it's like im a dream -like state.

for instance. when the camera zooms out and reveals a vast empty city with nobody around i thought this became existential horror.

and some pages later, they all just fucking die?

what the fuck???

if someone asked me, after reading 247 pages of the comic, what was it about, i'd tell them oh god help me where am i. matpat would not survive this.

the creatures

there are two dorks so far. i love them. there's

he's so cute i wanna squish him to death

JOHN EGBERT and his hiperfixation on ODDLY-SPECIFIC FILMS is charming but i feel like i'm missing so much context. should i watch them to catch up with homestuck lore?

oh and her

she is concerning

she's so quirky. her love for OBSCURE LITERATURE and ELEVATED LEXICON, plus eveything else? is she on tumblr dot com?

i wonder what else is she up to, along the other pesterchums on the web.

coding sillies

ah yes. i love code™. no but really, i'm on my last year of compsci. i am old. but these cute little gags remind me of starting out to self learn data structures and general syntax.

pfft, do you even hashmap bro? wdym u don't have logarithmic time complexity?

that's what you get for not using b+ trees.

this whole comic was definitively made by a dorky nerd, and that's sick. i wonder what they're up to now...

closing thoughts

rose's mom is definitively queen from deltarune. also, i need some rest. this comic is definitively something. tune in for more