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chaepink · 1 year ago

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DAY 19: SUCH A TEASE | COCKWARMING

teasing kageyama is always fun, especially if it has something to do with him cockwarming you.

⋆ ࣪. ❤︎ PAIRING ⸻ kageyama tobio x reader

⋆ ࣪. ❤︎ WARNINGS ⸻ dom!gn!reader, dacryphilia, begging, cockwarming (character receiving), edging, riding, praise, pegging, strap can be read as a dick, reader can lift him up

⋆ ࣪. ❤︎ WORDS ⸻ 1.8k words

KINKTOBER EVENT

You love teasing kageyama. Whether it's palming him under the table at a restaurant, making tears brim his eyes when you continue to overstimulate him, or being blunt with your words about how you want to just bend him over the nearest desk and fuck him till he can't think anymore. All three would result in kageyama flushing red and letting out a needy whine, stuttering out a quiet response.

And today is no different. With your focus solely on the work in front of you, you almost forget about him on your lap. That's until kageyama lets out a whimper, wrapping his arms around you tighter.

"Are you alright, kageyama?" He whines at you. Here he is, fully naked and on your lap with your strap stuffing him full. The tip is just barely touching his prostate and it brushes against it whenever he moves just a little, each time making him leak out pre cum from his hard red dick. It lays against your stomach and he tries his best not to move, wanting to be good for you. He's been cockwarming you for a while now and he's lost track of how many times you've edged him.

A mere hour or so earlier you were working on stuff you needed to finish until Kageyama kept begging you to pay attention to you. So a suggestion of him cockwarming you, some edging, and teasing now has you here. The tip of Kageyama's ears burns, not thinking it his neediness would result to this.

"ah! y-yeah i-im mmph! fine!" You let out a sigh before putting your pencil down and running your hand through his hair. You suddenly grab a fistful of it and pull it back, making kageyama let out a gasp as he throws his head back. Your other hand roams down his body to grip his thigh, giving it a squeeze.

In this new position, you're able to see kageyama much better. His face is flushed red and his eyes are hooded as he looks at you. You look at his dick and how pre cum continues to leak out of it like a broken faucet. The substance continues to drip down his dick and to the base. Ragged breaths escape him and your eyes trail down to where your strap disappears into his ass. The feeling of your eyes down there makes him subconsciously squeeze around your strap, making him let out a small moan. So needy.

"Really? It seems like you're falling apart on top of me already though from what I can tell." Kageyama lets out a cry when you grab his hips to slam him down on your strap, a squirt of his cum spurting out of his dick and staining your shirt. There's no warning for him as you continue your actions.

"s-shit o-oh my god! let me cum, please!" Kageyama lets out a sob when the strap hits the spot inside him that makes his toes curl and back arch back against the desk. When you keep going, kageyama begins to think that you're finally going to let him cum and pleas and begs flood out of his mouth. That's until you stop. He cries out before looking at you with tears brimming his eyes.

"Y-You're so mean, [name]! Stop t-teasing me!" He cries at you, trying to subtly grind against your strap as he paws at your chest. It's been the same thing over and over again. You pay attention to your work for a while before finally paying attention to him. But it doesn't last long cause all you do is edge him close to his orgasm, make him think each time would be the time that you finally let him cum, before stopping altogether and ruining his release. Then you go back to your work as if nothing happened.

You coo at him, cupping his cheek. You feel him lean into your touch with a pout on his lips. How cute.

"But you just make it so easy to be mean to you, baby. You let out those noises I love so much and you're just so pretty when you cry. I can't help teasing you." Kageyama shoves his head into the crook of your neck, hiding his red face. You hear him sniffle and he grips onto your shoulders for support.

"I-I keep getting so close! It h-hurts, [name]." You begin to mark his neck, leaving bite marks and hickeys here and there. Afterwards, you admire how the colors of the marks compliments his skin so prettily. While a part of you feels bad for edging him for a while now, another part wants him to beg for it more, to make him cry.

"Don't you want to be good, though? Wanna be a good boy for me, yeah?" He whines and nods hastily. Of course he does! "That's what I thought too. Good boys do what they're told don't they? So how about you let me do it again, hm? One more time, please?" Kageyama's breath hitches in his throat. You raise a eyebrow at his hesitation.

While he wants to be good for you, the pain in his dick and being denied release a couple times now is starting to get to him and he feels his mind getting foggy. Though of course, the right answer is always clear to him. He wants to be good for you.

He nods again but you tap his cheek, wanting a verbal answer from him. "Y-Yes." You smile at him. "Good boy. Tell me when you're close, alright?"

He shivers at the praise but you surprise him when you grab his dick and begin stroking it, the pace immediately quickening. He widens his eyes, the feeling of his orgasm and the need to release quickly coming back and overwhelming him. His noises fill the room and you almost feel bad for your neighbors who would surely hear him. Almost.

He shuts his eyes close and as his release quickly returns back, he's quick to tell you about it. Even though he knows it's going to happen, he still lets out a broken whine when you release your hand from his dick, ripping his orgasm away from him.

Tears are streaming down his face by now and you have to wipe them off his face. His eyelashes are clumped together and his eyes are glossy.

"You're doing so good for me, baby. That was the last one remember?"

He swallows and nods. You admire the way tears streak down his red face. Fuck, he looks so pretty like this.

"Bet you want to cum now right, doesn't it hurt?" Kageyama lets out a quiet 'yes', pouting at you.

"Go on then, put on a show and ride me." You don't have to tell him twice as his grip on you tightens. He puts his calves on the seat and sits up, slowly taking your strap out of him until it's merely a inch away from his hole. He bites his lip in anticipation and neediness. Seconds later he slams himself down on it, the strap entering him in one smooth movement. A scream leaves his mouth as it fills him up to the brim.

He begins bouncing on top of you so quickly that it's almost like he forgot how you two are only on a chair. Sure the environment may not be the best for him to ride you but the both of you barely cares. All you're focused on is him.

You watch as he quickly falls apart in front of you once again and becomes quickly overwhelmed at the pace and intensity he set for himself. But he doesn't choose to slow down, wanting to chase his high as fast as possible. His mouth is wide open and drool begins falling from the corner of it. He looks so fucked out that you can't help but wish to take a picture and savor it forever.

You notice the bulge on his stomach every time your strap enters him and you press down on the spot, grinning when Kageyama lets out a choked moan at the feeling.

"f-feels so good, [name]." There's a teasing grin on your face. "It feels so good as you ride me, doesn't it? I'm making you feel so good, right?" He nods dumbly even though he doesn't even process what you just said. All your words just go in one ear and out the other.

Incoherent words leave his mouth and you struggle to understand what he's saying. Though you don't really need to know how he feels from his words, the amount and volume of his noises tell you enough about how he's feeling.

"[name], please," he whines. He doesn't even know what he's begging for anymore. His hole sucks in your strap so greedily as if it wants more ever time it enters him.

He can barely think properly. All his thoughts are scrambled and instead are replaced by the feeling of your strap and how it's just hitting all the right spots in him. He feels so full and warm that he doesn't even release how he's about to cum.

The feeling of cumming hits his body suddenly and he lets out a wail at the intense feeling. After being edged so many times, it only makes it better when he finally gets to cum. Cum shoots out his dick and it makes a mess everywhere. It stains his chest and also your top but you don't care. Kageyama continues to ride your strap and you realize that it seems like he's not going to stop anything soon. You don't even have to overstimulate him, he's already doing it himself!

The sound of skin on skin is sinful as it floods your ears. It along with his noises are music to your ears and you swear you could hear them forever and would never get tired of it. Praises spill from your mouth and Kageyama whines at each one.

An idea hits you and you quickly push everything out of the way on your desk. Your hands reach for his waist and when you notice Kageyama slowing down, you lift him off you and push him against the desk. Before he could beg you to put the strap in again, you do it yourself and slam it back in him. The new angle makes his eyes roll back and let out a mewl. He chokes on his spit and all he can do is lay there all pretty for you as you fuck his brains out. After being edged so many times, the feeling of overstimulation is heaven for him.

It's going to be a long night and he knows that by the morning, he won't be able to walk properly. Well, it's not like he's complaining of course.

🏷️: @Vealize21 @fabitheraven @sourissue @jksstuffposts @gallantys @tired-of-life-86 @ineedsleeporilldie @aphoneixnamed-angel @flawlessvictorymentality @wowonamo @euphiroo @saintravey @tomiokx @archer-fb @d1gitalbathh @Lifesucksweswallow @rxflen @aspengagrimlin @ilovemenwhowhimperandbeg @lamees004 @22rhianna2006 @literary-latte @cl-0-vr @qweenjx @mysicklove @uniquebeautylove1 @someonepleasesedateme @arminsesposa

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jeonfiles · 4 years ago

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better left unsaid - jjk

genre: angst, rebounds

pairings: jungkook x reader (ft. namjoon)

warnings: arguing, alcohol, profanity, break ups, light smut, use of drugs, jungkook is a fucking dick, jungkook has major attachment issues, toxic relationships, oc cries a lot, namjoon has a heart of gold, unrequited love

synopsis: you knew you shouldnt have given him that second chance, not the third or the fourth either. no matter how much you try he always slithers his way underneath your sheets, arms wrapped around you.

word count: 2.7k

music: into your arms, so it ends?, you will fade, thinkin bout you, julia, my insecurities not yours, fuck u, goodluck, my dear i will think of you

note: uhh ive never written a y/n fic so bare with me, if u listen to the music you’ll be able to feel the story a lot more so yeah if u have time u should, not proof read

Light coming through the cracks of the blinds, making you squint your eyes when the daylight beams into your eyes, head resting on the kitchen island Looking up, you saw the clock ticking on the wall, 11:32 am.

You had stayed up till 5 am, waiting for him to come home, but seemingly, he never did. Reaching for your phone, you saw 4 missed calls from the one and only,

Jeon Jungkook, saved in your phone as “Koo <3″, Rows of messages too, all from the same contact.

Koo <3 [05:34 am]

baby pkck me up pleseee

im so wsated

Koo <3 [06.46am]

dont be mad at me jsut pick me up

i dont knw hewere the fuck i am

i love you

Koo <3 [07:31 am]

i got a rde home i’ll be home by 12

i need to talk to someone frsit

im sorry if i woke ypu dont be worried

You took a few moments to collect your thoughts, but there wasn’t much to collect. This whole thing, was a routine by now.

Standing up to make yourself a cup of coffee, you could literally not feel your own backside, you were so sore from the barstool you had been sitting on all night, and it made you groan in pain.

Two coffee cups right beside the kitchen sink, which you couldn’t bring yourself to clean up, because it was from the last time you had coffee together, which was 2 weeks ago.

The inside of the cup had a coffee crust at the top, and both your lip tint marks on the outside.

When you finish your cup of coffee while watching a bad telenovela, you go sit in your favorite chair and pull out a few books from the backpack hanging on the chair next to you, getting ready to get some studying done.

For a few seconds you imagine Jungkook hanging over your shoulder laughing at the way you write your A-s and R-s, or the way you always sign your homework at the bottom of the page.

And when you open them, there’s no one there. The only sound is from the refrigerator, making refrigerator noises.

You had met Jungkook 3 years ago, when you were at college orientation, senior year of high school. He also wanted to attend Yonsei, just like you.

And when he whispered to you about how bored he was, you couldn’t help but giggle, and then you got yelled at.

It was worth it though, because everyone was jealous of you afterwards,the Jeon Jungkook had talked to you.

Jungkook was an all-rounder as they called it; great physique, intelligent, charismatic and great at sports.

And god, he had a beautiful face, and such a filthy mouth, and it didn’t go long before you gave in to his seductive ways and slept with him. The morning after, he wasn’t in bed with you, and your heart sank.

Luckily, he was in the kitchen making you breakfast.

It was all bliss from there, showering you with love, gifts and kisses for two years, and you even ended up moving in together.

And now? You barely remember what he sounds like, smells like and is like.

A distant memory, just as distant as him.

Your train of thought was suddenly interrupted as you heard 3 knocks on your door. The exact same way he had always knocked when he had forgotten (or lost) his keys.

And even though you should have let him suffer a little, you rushed to the door to open it, and in front of you, was your biggest nightmare.

It was your love, crying his eyes out, bleeding from one of many cuts on his face, looking nearly dead. He collapsed into your arms, and you could only utter a few words, along the lines of:

“How could you do this to us?”

As he was laying curled up in a ball on the couch, face plastered up, ice bag on his knee, wrapped up in a blanket, you realized. this was your que to cry.

So, you did. You cried in silence, sitting across the room from him. You weren’t mad at him for coming home late, or getting in another fight, probably the 5th just these past months, you had gotten used to that by now.

There was a whole other reason that made you cry.

He smelled like Victorias Secret Bombshell, you recognized the scent because it used to be your favorite, however, now you’ve moved onto something less sweet, and more elegant, like Caroline Herrera.

He smelled like someone who wasn’t you, his girlfriend.

He smelled like another girl.

It didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. Maybe because the Jungkook that had come home to you that morning wasn’t your Jungkook.

Your Jungkook was varsity jackets, star of the american football team (which your school was known for), selfless and humorous, and he would always take care of you.

Your Jungkook was not ungroomed hair, cigarettes and worsening grades. He was not cold and lifeless, and he would never make you cry.

Despite this, you were carding your fingers though his hair, thumb wiping away the blood on his lips while he was sound asleep as you slowly fell asleep next to him.

Maybe it was time to let him go.

Maybe.

You woke a few hours later from your phone vibrating.

Kim Namjoon (school) [07:01 pm]

Hey Y/N! Have you started working on the statistics assignment?

If you haven’t, would you be interested in meeting at the library tomorrow? You’re really smart and i’m kinda struggling ://

You [07:03 pm]

i finished it yesterday, but if you buy me coffee i’ll come help you hehe

Kim Namjoon (school) [07:04 pm]

You’re the best, I’ll bring you a machiatto!! :D

Maybe it would be nice for you to get out of the house, even though you hate the thought of it, and you would much rather just swim in your own sorrow.

But you did go out the next day, and you helped Namjoon get a decent grade, enough to pass with good margines, he thanked you by taking you out for ramen at a convenial store not too far away.

You thanked him for the ramen with a trip to the museum, and he thanked you for the museum trip with a picnic in the park at night, which led you to crying over Jungkook in his embrace, telling him every single little detail.

He made you realize it was time to let Jungkook go and make room for new people to enter your life.

You went home that night, and you found Jungkook passed out on the couch, and you could genuienly feel your chest tighten. Soft features which stood out under the moonlight glow, disheveled brown locks which hung down in his eyes.

He was gorgeous, until you saw the credit card on the table next to three bottles of soju and an empty beer can on the floor. And you knew what he had used the credit card for, though you didn’t want to say it out loud.

You cleaned everything up, and you threw the residue of the white powder right in the trash can, and you recycled his bottles and cans before finally, nudging him to wake up.

“Jungkook, wake up.” You spat coldly, or at least you attempted to.

He groaned, rubbing his eyes before opening his eyes, and s huge smile on his face. “Y/N, you’re home!” He reached to kiss you, but you backed away.

“Y/N?” Jungkook questioned, he didn’t quite understand what your intentions were.

“Don’t try anything Jungkook. This was your last chance, and you fucked it up, again.” The room turned ice cold. “I’m getting you help Jungkook, you need help. And then...”

He understood what kind of help you meant, and since he had now sobered up, he agreed, nodding. “And then...?”

“And then.” Your words were ludged in your throat. “And then I’m leaving you.”

His whole face dropped, smile turned into the frowniest frown you had ever seen, and it was all silent before his lower lip starts trembling, and his eyes start turning glassy.

“It’s alright. Sorry for burdening you.” Was all he could say before tears rushed down his cheeks, and he started shaking.

So you did what you always had done, and you wrapped your arms around him, head resting on your chest as he sobbed.

“Is there anyone else?” he cried out before another wave of sobs hit him.

This exact question made your stomach hurt, and your throat burn. You really had no idea.

Or you did, but you didn’t want to.

You loved Jungkook so much, but you couldn’t be with him in this state. So you did what every rational person would do in this situation.

“Yeah.”

You lied.

“Oh ok. I don’t have the right to be mad do I?”

You shake your head no.

“I love you Y/N. I’m sorry I’m so messed up.”

“It’s ok.” was all he said before he fell asleep in your arms again.

That night you slither your way out of his embrace and you pack your suitcase in the dark, bringing all your essentials, trying to be as quiet as possible so you didn’t wake Jungkook.

Packing enough for two weeks or so, you make the bed and leave your t-shirt “accidentally” in the bathroom, and you make sure all his clothes are folded, and then you sort his pencil case, throwing out old pens and worn out erasers.

You leave a grocery list on the counter, and you tuck him in good under the blankets after you took his jeans and socks off so he could sleep comfortably.

You placed his vitamins and medicine by the refrigerator so he’ll see it when he goes to grab something to eat.

Puffed up pillows, a pair of sweatpants, t-shirt and underwear is now placed neatly on his bed. Then you walk into the kitchen again, and you see Jungkook still sound asleep, sniffling a little still.

There’s one last thing, and it makes you cry. It makes you sob so loud you cover your mouth and muffle the sound you make. Sinking to the floor, your whole body is in contact with the cold tiles.

Only a year ago you could never imagine yourself even shedding a single tear over something as small as this, but here you were, on the edge of a panic attack.

Two worn out, matching couple mugs still placed by the counter. one if the first things you two had bought together, as well as the necklace hanging around your neck.

Finally, you stopped crying and started cleaning the mugs, lip trembling as you dried them and placed them in the back of the cabinet.

You unhooked your necklace and laid it down on the counter, and the biggest lump formed in your throat.

Actually, there’s a little detail you forget.

You kiss Jungkook on the forehead and leave a note on the coffee table.

“Dear Jungkook,

If you want to make this up to me (this does not mean a new chance!!) you call the number at the bottom of the page. No matter what happens, I’ll always have room for you in my heart. You even have your own little VIP lobby in there. And - if it’s urgent, call. I still care for you, and I always have. You were the best boyfriend I’ve had, but good things always come to and end, don’t they? Anyways, I’m tired so this letter fucking sucks, but deep down you know how much I love you. Remember to get groceries, shower, get fresh air and study. If I forgot something you can keep it, as long as you call the number and tell them you’re my friend. They’ll help you love. Try and get a part time job too, your student loan and your dad’s money won’t last forever. Good luck Koo. Hwaiting!!

-L/N Y/N <33″

You cringe when you think of the letter’s contents, before you roll out your suitcase out of the front door, whispering a faint “Goodnight Love.” as you close and lock the door behind you.

Standing by the elevator, you cry again. This time, louder, but you still reach for your phone and type out a text to the newly edited contact in your phone.

You [02:13 am]

coming outside now, im a crying mess and im super cold, is your car heated?

sorry for making you wait btw :((

Joonie <3 [02:13 am]

dont worry about the crying part, i’ll hold you. and yeah car is heated, so waiting here wasnt all that bad. you ready for this?

You [02:14 am]

i have no idea but i cant stay here any longer and i trust you sooo

lets start our new chapter. eh?

4 months later...

He had been good to you, great even.

You had been on expensive dates, picnics, had heart to heart conversations, and he’d been so understanding.

Today, it was your 2 month anniversary, and he had asked you on a magnificent date, which he had planned every second of.

At the end of the day, you told him how you don’t love him. He said it was alright. Namjoon loved you, so much, yet he understood you needed time.

You went to sleep that day, warm in Namjoon’s embrace, wondering how Jungkook was doing.

You felt bad, but you missed Jungkook.

You were both with someone new now, and you knew he was in good hands with someone stable enough to care for him.

Before your eyes closed shut, you shed a few quiet tears and hoped that you’d fall in love with Namjoon soon, and deep down you knew you would.

#jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #namjoon smut #jungkook ff #bts ff #bts imagines #bts scenarios #namjoon ff #bangtan smut #jungkook #jeon jeongguk #jeongguk ff

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baroquebucky · 4 years ago

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lover is a day

a/n: hi pals !! here is a sort of angsty but fluffy fic inspired by another cuco song ! i cant believe tfaws is over i miss them already :[ lyrics in bold ! srry for any typos </3

buckys mind is racing all the time, you’re there to slow him down

word count: 3.1k

masterlist

will you love this part of me?

Bucky tried his damn best to keep you out of the avenging part of his love. He never introduced you to the team, only telling Steve about you and Sam finding out because he stole Buckys phone and you just so happened to call him.

You saw the trends on Twitter, seeing the videos of your boyfriend easily take down seven men in a bar in madripoor. You tried your best to not watch it, knowing he wouldn’t want you to. Curiosity getting the best of you, you clicked the trend, mouth dropping as you saw the way he fought.

His eyes were cold, he moved like it was second nature to him, it was frightening to see how easy it came to him.

You jumped as your phone vibrated, an incoming call from bucky pausing the video. You hesitated before answering, putting on a bright smile and trying to forget what you had just seen.

“hi doll face” Bucky smiled, you heard the thumping of music in the background.

“hi buck, are you at a club?” You questioned, a smile on your face as he let out a sigh, rolling onto his back on the couch he was on.

“I’m at Sharon’s place, she has this whole museum club thing going on” he explained, your eyes wide at the mention of the agent.

“Sharon? like Steve Sharon? Sharon from shield?” You questioned, bucky smiled at your interest, nodding along to your words, quickly replying when he realized you weren’t on FaceTime.

Bucky kept you in the loop, not wanting you to get caught off guard if anything were to happen. He just made sure you were never in danger and no one knew about you, as much as he’d want to shout from the roof just how much he loved you.

“that’s the one, I’ll explain when i get back” he spoke calmly, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands as he put you on speaker.

Bucky talked about some movie he wanted to watch, your mind drifting back to the video, your heart thumping in your ears.

“doll?” He asked, his voice echoing in you room.

“what, sorry i got distracted” you replied, trying to play it off. Bucky frowned, his heart sinking at the realization.

“you saw it” he spoke simply, moving to sit up on the couch again, his eyes focusing on the floor.

You wanted to lie, say you had no idea what he was talking about. But you couldn’t, mouth opening only to close seconds later.

“I never wanted you to see that part of me” he spoke, you stayed quiet, letting him talk.

“Doll, I’m not him anymore i promise” he hesisted, “Zemo made me do it and i didn’t think i would- i just im gonna go” he spoke, hanging up quickly, heart heavy.

Furthering my distance from you

Bucky was never the best at speaking his mind, always too caught up in his own thoughts to say what he felt, thinking it never mattered and he should keep to himself.

You texted him right after, telling him to please take care, that you loved him. He didn’t reply.

It wasn’t for another couple days when he came home, entering quietly trying to not wake you up in case you were asleep already.

He set his bags down softly, entering the room and expecting to find you curled up. Buckys heart raced as he looked up to see you staring at him with a smile on your face, getting off the bed quickly and throwing yourself onto him.

“i missed you so much james” you whispered, squeezing him slightly as your arms wrapped around him.

“y/n i-” he began, pushing you back softly. You let go reluctantly, knowing he wanted his space.

I’m okay as long as you keep me from going crazy

“Bucky, it’s okay” you replied, stopping him from going down a rabbit hole if you didn’t. You looked at him, the light from your bedside lamp only slightly illuminating the room.

“i know thats not you anymore, sometimes you have to do something’s to get stuff and i get that angel” you spoke, looking at him softly, slowly grabbing his hand and squeezing.

“i still love you bucky, with all my heart” you smiled, wishing you could see the way his cheeks flushed at your words.

He looked up from the floor, you could barely making out the way his lips turned up in a small smile.

“do you really?” He whispered, stepping closer so that your faces were only inches apart. You nodded, eyes flickering to his lips after a couple of seconds.

“I love you more doll” he replied, ears burning as you pulled him in for a kiss, holding the collar of his shirt to pull him closer.

You pulled away with a smile on your face, looking at him for a second before throwing your arms around him, holding him tightly. Bucky wrapped his arms around after a second, placing a kiss ontop of your head, never wanting to let you go.

You can’t get by with a lie

Bucky shot up, sweating and breathing heavy, looking over to see you stirring slightly at his movement.

“buck?” You mumbled, eyes still closed as you turned opening them slightly to reach for the super soldier. You placed a gentle hand on his vibranium one, looking at him with your fuzzy vision.

“nightmare?” you mumbled, sitting up and looking at him, his chest still heaving as he shook his head.

“no it- I’m fine” he spoke, “Cmon let’s get back to sleep” he smiled tightly but you shook your head, looking at him sternly.

“James we talked about this, please, talk to me angel” you looked at him, now fully awake and wanting to help bucky through his nightmares. He hesitated, sighing and fiddling with the edge of the blanket.

“okay” he nodded, heart racing as you helped him through his nightmare. You reminded him how he had changed, how he was a new person and he was trying his best to make amends.

“You’re okay, you’re here and you’re free” you spoke, hugging him tightly and stroking his arm soothingly. Bucky nodded, closing his eyes and focusing on your beating heart.

Funny thing about you is you read me pretty well

You clenched your fist, wanting to throw your laptop across the room as your work frustrated you once again. Your breathing was heavier and you let out a small sigh, not wanting to alert bucky.

After a couple more minutes you felt the tears pricking your eyes, squeezing them shut in hopes they would go away.

You got up quickly, heading toward the kitchen to get a drink of water, leaving bucky alone in the room. He turned to look at you, noting how fast you were walking and the way you were breathing shakily.

Bucky gave you a minute, waiting to see if you’d come back. When you didn’t return he followed you, seeing you staring out the cup in your hand with intense focus.

“doll, what’s wrong?” You looked at him, putting a smile on your face and shaking your head.

“I’m fine buck, just thirsty” he frowned, walking towards you and pulling you into his arms.

“i know you too well for that to work on me doll” he sighed, stroking your back softly as you but back tears, finally letting a sob out. “let it out doll I’m here.”

Me and Mr. Heart we say the cutest things about you

Bucky smiled at the way you jumped for joy when you saw a dog in the park, immediately talking his ear off about how you had always wanted your own.

“don’t you think we should adopt? I think we’re at that point y’know?” You smiled, starry eyes as you turned to look at him.

Never in his life had he felt more in love, he thought of how perfect you looked, with slightly messy hair from the wind and a stain on your shirt from the time he accidentally splashed paint on you.

He felt the world around him fade away, focusing only on you and your words, rattling off some facts about people with pets being happier in an effort to convince him.

Bucky thought of the way you had always cared for him, living him with all you were. He thought of how you were the most caring person in the world to him, how you were the most radiant person in the room no matter what.

He loved you so much and all he wanted was to make you happy.

“I’ve always been a cat person” he teased, loving the way you rolled your eyes with a playful smile on your face.

“we could get a cat, they’re calm and sweet” you nodded, taking his hand and pulling him towards the parking lot.

How could bucky say no when you looked so excited?

You held the white cat in your arms a few weeks later, a huge smile on your face as he purred into your touch.

“welcome home alpine” you smiled, setting the cat down and letting him explore.

Buckys heart grew in his chest, you seemed so unreal. You were everything he ever wanted and everything he ever needed. And you were all his.

You looked at bucky, a smile on your face as he picked up the cat, setting him gently on his lap.

“thought you were gonna get us a dog the whole time we were there” he spoke, looking at you as you stared at the pair, standing across the room and putting away some cat food and toys.

“you said you were a cat person” you replied, “plus you’re happy right?” You questioned, walking over and sitting down next to him, reaching out to scratch the back of Alpines ears.

“very happy doll” he smiled, eyes settling on the cat in his lap, wanting to place kisses all over the now sleeping feline.

“then I’m happy that you’re happy” you smiled, kissing his cheek softly, letting your head rest on his shoulder and enjoy the company of your now two favorite boys.

My lover is a day I can’t forget

“Do you remember how we met?” You asked suddenly, bucky smiled as he recalled the memory.

“doll it’s 3 am” he chuckled, the streetlight sneaking in through the curtains as you two lay in bed.

“so you don’t” you huffed, turning so your back would face him. Bucky smiled at your reaction, quickly turning you back around to face him.

“of course i do doll” he replied, a soft smile still on his face, “why?”

“what did you think of me?” You wondered, wiggling a bit to get more comfortable. You had a small smile on your face as he began talking.

“i thought you were too nice, they got your whole order wrong and you still ate the whole thing” he smiled.

Buckys eyes had immediately landed on you when he entered the small diner, seeing you smiling with a couple of your friends.

Steve was insistent on getting him to go to more places and this was #1 on his list.

“so those are my favorites you can always look through the menu though i guess” steve smiled, noticing his friends focus on you.

“thank you!” You smiled at the waitress, taking the dish from her, turning to your friends as soon as she left.

“i didn’t order this” you grumbled, your friends insisting you send it back.

“but what if she’s having a bad day already? and this is the last straw? It’s fine i can just eat it it’ll be fine” you shook your head, taking a bite and making a face.

“send it back y/n!” Your friend persisted and you shook your head, you were so stubborn.

“it’s not that bad!” You smiled, eating the whole thing, “wish it was the other one though” you giggled as your friends rolled their eyes.

Bucky kept glancing over at you, trying to not make it obvious. Steve decided against saying anything, making easy conversation with his best friend.

You hit your friend gently, a blush on your face when your eyes had landed on the two super soldiers.

“okay don’t be obvious” you began, “that’s steve rogers and bucky barnes?” You whispered, your friends all turning and looking at the table.

Bucky had just so happened the be glancing over, making eye contact with you, his face went red as he saw your whole table staring at the pair.

“You were so shy, you didn’t even have the guts to say hi” he teased and you punched him softly.

“you didn’t say anything either in my defense” you smiled, fiddling with his dog tags.

You turned back quickly, slapping a hand on your face as your friends laughed. “I said don’t be obvious did i not!”

“didn’t you say you would die for him? You talk about him almost everyday” your friend teased and you hit her, face burning.

“shut up! they’re super soldiers what if they hear you” you snuck a glance at their table, seeing the way bucky had a small smirk on his face and Steve was holding back a laugh.

“i hate you guys, i really do” you mumbled, “should i say sorry? I feel like i should say sorry right?”

“You just want an excuse to give that man sex eyes” another one of your friends spoke up and you rolled your eyes.

You snuck a glance at bucky making eye contact, you gave a small smile which he happily returned, waving slightly. You waved back, quickly turning back to your friends as your heart raced.

You and your friends paid and left not long after, Steve and bucky following a couple minutes after. You said your goodbyes in the parking lot, giving them tight hugs.

“you sure you don’t want a ride?” They had asked and you shook your head, waving her off as you walked to the bus stop down the street, sitting on the bench and scrolling through your social media mindlessly.

You looked up as someone sat next to you, giving them a small smile before realizing it was bucky. Your eyes went wide and you froze, eyes focused on your now locked phone. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears.

You glanced at bucky, face flushing when you made eye contact.

“you were so charming, i still don’t understand how you could be so calm” you spoke, looking at him as he let out a snort.

“i was shitting myself the whole time doll” he laughed, “I’m surprised i didn’t fuck up the moment i opened my mouth.”

“I’m bucky” he smiled, extending his had for you to shake. You smiled back, shaking his hand before replying, “I’m y/n.”

You were quiet for a second before turning to face him again, “I’m sorry for my friends in the diner, they can be a bit much” you chuckled, fiddling with your phone in your hands.

“don’t worry ‘bout it, I’m flattered honestly” he replied and you cocked your head.

“oh?” You replied, confused at his response.

“I mean to have a pretty girl like you thinking about me? An honor really” he spoke smoothly, a charming smile on his face as he looked at you.

“i- well- uh, thank you?” You let out a breathy laugh, and he smiled at you, moving onto another topic of conversation.

Next thing you knew the two of you were sat together on the bus, laughing as you two exchanged stories and talked about your interests.

“this is my stop” you frowned, not wanting to end the conversation yet. Buckys heart raced, debating on wether or not he should make a move or not. Steve would surely have his head on a spike if he didn’t.

“i- well, if you want i can walk you, it’s dark and i don’t want you in any danger” he spoke, stumbling in his words.

“I’d love that buck” you smiled and he looked at you with a grin on his face, following you out of the bus.

The evening air was cool, it felt nice against your flushed skin, a smile on both of your faces as you walked towards your apartment. The sound of your laughter filling the open air.

You arrived at your apartment building, exchanging numbers and saying goodbye, already looking forward to see each other next time.

“can’t believe you walked me back” you giggled, butterflies in your stomach as you remembered how flirty he was that night.

“i never told you but i had actually driven to the place” bucky blushed, “Steve had been busy earlier so we met up there” he laughed as your mouth flew open.

“so you had to go all the way back to get your car?!” Bucky smiled bashfully, “you even paid to take the bus!” You squealed, sitting up quickly and leaning against the headboard.

“I wasn’t gonna let public transportation stand between me and the love of my life!” Bucky replied quickly, sitting up next to you.

“you barely knew me!”

“i wanted to get to know you! that was the whole point” he shot back, a smile on his face when he noticed how flustered you were.

“you did all that for me” you looked at him fondly and he nodded.

“and I’d do so much more for you now” Bucky smiled, kissing your cheek softly before moving to your jaw and then your lips.

“I love you so much doll” he whispered, pulling you into his arms. You let him wrap himself around you, holding you closely to his chest.

“i love you more lovely” you replied, placing a soft kiss on his bicep. He held you for a couple more moments before letting go, letting you move back to his side and lay on his chest.

“you do so much for me doll, you keep me grounded, you make me happy, you keep me from going crazy, wish i could do the same” he mumbled, his fingers scratching at your scalp and making your eyes flutter shut.

“you do all that and more for me too james, you just never realize” you whispered, yawning as he continued his movements.

“how about we go to sleep, and I’ll tell you all tomorrow just how much you do for me, yeah?” You mumbled, opening your eyes slightly. Bucky nodded, laying down and getting comfortable, moving so that he could spoon you, draping an arm around your waist and pulling you to his chest.

“goodnight lover boy” you mumbled, he smiled at the nickname.

“goodnight dollface” he whispered, kissing your neck softly before closing his eyes, hearing alpines soft purring from across the room.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes drabble #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes fanfiction #soft Bucky Barnes #flirty Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes angst #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky imagine #bucky fluff #bucky angst

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midday0nightmares · 4 years ago

Photo

31 - a week later.

Previous chapter a rat.

m.list.

warnings: this series contains themes of yandere\mafia, blood, violence, mental health, drugs, non-con.

author note: this is pure fiction and it is not intended to romanticize any of the situations mentioned bellow.

3 days after.

“Jeno .. can I ask you something?”

“Sure” he replied,

jeno too has changed, he has become more caring towards you like he was stepping to fill jaemins place, while jaemin was occupied.

Jeno was more controlled, he didn’t show much, if you didn’t know what had happen you would have believed everything was fine.

“What’s gonna happen to me if..? You know” ,

you leave the questions unfinished, but jeno understands what you wanted to ask.

His mouth opens to speak but closes shut again, he takes a minute to think before he answers “I don’t know”.

His honesty although appreciated didn’t help at all.

“but, I will do my best to make sure you’er taking care of” he reach to hold your hand over the table, gently squeezing it to reassure you.

5 days after.

You saw less and less of jaemin.

The stress of it all was getting to you too, you were agitated.. you blamed it all on jeno.

“Why don’t you just confess?”,

your question was loaded with hostility.

He looked at you, a desperate look on his face, he told you over and over but still he tells you again,

”it’s complicated sera”.

You scoff, his answer seemed more like an excuse than a genuine answer. “what’s complicated? You did it, you are the one who should be facing life in prison not him” you pointed at jaemin’s closed door.

He exhales, his eyes close “you don’t know what you’er talking about”.

“You killed him!” You contain to argue but he gets up and leave, ending the conversation.

Tears of anger pooled in your eyes, this is another level of injustice.

6 days after.

You were quietly munching on your cereal, jeno sat across form you sipping on his bitter coffee.

The mood was tense, unstable.

The neglected tv flashed a breaking news strip that caught your attention, it was about the murder in a diplomatic’s son house, “turn the volume up” you ushered jeno.

“.. it has been determined that the leased apartment falls under diplomatic amenity and no further investigations could be carried”

You looked at jeno, “dose it mean that they’er closing the case?” You asked, carful not to get your hopes up, he remind quiet for a minute before he nods “ yup, I guess they are”.

You jumped out of your seat, squealing with happiness “yes! Yess thank god” you grabbed his arm to share the joy but he didn’t move.

He wasn’t happy, nor relieved.. he didn’t seems to feel any thing.

You top your small celebration, “what?” You asked.

“Nothing” he stood up ready to leave, “clean up when you’er done”.

he leaves you to your wild thoughts to run the worst case scenarios.

Today

The week slowly rolled over with much tension and uncertainty, jaemin has been called to the police station couple more times, you swear each time he comes back, he has aged years.

You wanted to be by his side but he didn’t even look at you when you tried to call him this morning, if he’s not out then he’s locking himself in his room. you tried knocking on his door, to get him to at least eat a proper meal but he didn’t answer. Each attempt has been met with either complete silence or a sharp temper, he would lash at you then quickly apologize.

This is not how you wanted your first semester to begin, you attended the first week of your online classes but you couldn’t really focus on what has been said, not with a disaster hanging above your head ready to drop at any minute.

And as much as you wanted to blame it all on jeno, you couldn’t anymore. The case is closed, but why is jaemin still being investigated? Could it be because of you? Did the police knew you were taken? Was it your fault?.. you tossed and turned in your bed, it felt cold and empty without him, you missed him so much. After a long string of pillow thoughts, slumber finally took mercy over you.

“y\n..”

An unfamiliar voice calls your name.

“y\n”

the whisper gets louder, your body tip over and fall off of an edge to an endless darkness.. you jerk out of the nightmare, drenched in sweat and gasping for air.

You clam yourself and push the heavy covers off of you, dragging your feet to the kitchen for some water, you don’t bother turning the lights on, you open the fridge door and take a bottle. The icy water clears the clouds in your mind only for the grim reality to take its place, jaemin might be taken away.. you dwell on the scary thought.

You turn your head to see the lights of jaemins room were on, your heart clinches, he’s still awake at this ungodly hour.

Opting not bother him, you head back to your lonely bed, but the dark figure in the balcony almost gave you a heart attack.

You recognize the man, it’s jaemin.. his tall figure was standing in the dark, the phone was pressed to his ear, his demeanor was agitated, shifting his weight form one foot to the other, you couldn’t hear anything but you can tell he wasn’t happy.

You turn to see if jeno was in his room, his lights were off and his shoes were by the door. you always had the impression that they were close, partners in crime. they did all their nasty work together, but why is it only jaemin who is in this mess right now?.

“You can’t be serious !”

Jaemin’s loud voice comes clear through the thick glass, his hand running through his hair seemingly wanting to rip it from the roots out of frustration. You can tell he was angry, desperate.. he keeps shouting but you can’t make out what he was saying. you step closer, as close as you can without being seen by him, you try to decipher his muffled voice,

“I am your son! Your only son”

you’er not sure if that’s what he said..

He speaks in a lower voice before he removes the phone from his ear, ending the call. He punches the wall next to him, he was beyond pissed.

You move to hide behind the curtain to avid angering him more, he opens the door and steps inside slamming the glass door behind him.

“I can see you” he deadpan says in the dark, since there’s no one other than you, he must be talking to you and you make the quick decision of coming out before he losses his temper.

“Im sorry, I had a nightmare and I got up to drink wa..” You try to explain yourself but he waves his hand with not much care “Yeah yeah” and you stop talking.. he walks to his room, the dull city lights illuminating his backside, his shoulders were slumped, his back hunched with heavy burden, the sight of him broken made your heart twist inside your ribcage.

“Jaemin” you call him without a plane, he stops and looks at you, “Are you okay?”, stupid question..

Although it’s dark, you can feel his eyes burning holes into your face.

“Do I look okay?” He retorts,

You answered him with a small “no”

he turns to walk to his room but you speak again, “I can help you if you tell me what wrong”, bold statement.

He stops again and heavy sighs, your heart thumbs in your chest as you wait for him to speak, but all you get was a scoff, “why don’t you just know your place huh?” he asks with much condecindence, although you know he didn’t mean it, his words still hurts.

“Just stay out of my way, you have done enough already” he adds more sharp words, twisting the planted knife in your heart.

“I just wanted to help you and be here for you” your voice breaks and you hate yourself for it, but you chock and the tears starts to gather in your eyes, he huffs and looks up to the ceiling, impatiently waiting for you to recompose yourself. But his cold nonchalant demeanor triggers more eruptions inside of you.

the words escapes your mouth before you have thought of them.. “all I wanted was to help you, but you keep me away form you! you don’t tell me anything, no one is telling me anything! I don’t know what is happing or if I will see you when wake up the next day” you rant through the sobs, your voice getting louder and louder, and when he was fed up with you he shuts you down with a loud scream “shut up”.

Jeno comes out of his room, bewildered and alert.. he stands in the background watching the fight evolves.

“You are not my girlfriend” he walks towards you, making you feel small and insignificant, “I don’t own you anything” his tall stature looms over your short one, that cuts deep.

you look at him, you stare into his eyes, challenging him to take what he said back but he doesn’t.

“Yeah?” Your voice barely comes out, “fine then I guess I have no reason to stay here anymore”. you turn and stomp to where your bed is to collect your few belongings, he follows behind, his steps shaking the ground beneath you.

“where the fuck do you think you’er doing?” He asks but you ignore him, more so you couldn’t speak due to the choking knot in your throat, but your lack or response angers him even more, he grabs your arm and turns you around with much force, that it almost dislocates your shoulder, you whimper at the pain but he doesn’t care, his grip tightening even more, his eyes glazed with a dark, sinister layer.

“Jaemin!” Jeno warns, but it does nothing as another screaming match breaks between you, with him asking you the same question, not really waiting for an answer, and you shouting whatever comes to your mind first, curses, accusation, anything to hurt him. you don’t know who started it first but hands were being thrown, jeno was trying to break you apart, but eventually, jaemin overpowered you and threw you over his shoulder like a rag doll, your kicking and screaming did nothing against him.

“Jaemin” jeno shouted at his friend who was in a trance, muttering the filthiest insults under his breath.

“Where are you going? Jaemin!” jeno tries to reason with him. at this point jaemin was like a robot, marching to his room, he kicks the door to his bedroom open, he slams you to his bed, knocking the wind out of you.

“Jaemin! Calm down” jeno was trying to stop whatever jaemin was doing, he kneels and opens his safe, jeno’s voice getting louder, you were paralyzed with fear everything is happing so fast for your brain to form a response.

Jeno was trying to pry jaemin’s hands out of the safe, “come on! don’t do something you’ll regret”, jeno was almost begging him to stop.

jaemin finally broke out of his trance and turned to jeno “get out!”,

but jeno stood in his place like a pillar, his presence seems to clam jaemin, he takes a deep breath and pushes his hair back “I know what im doing” he speaks calmly this time before he turns back to you, you swallow the thick knot “jaemin please..” pleadings to spare your life were timid but loud enough to be heard, your body crawls as far away from him before the wall stops you.

He kneels down and reaches again inside the safe, for a second the time has stoped, everything moved in slow motion.

He takes out a metal handcuffs out of the safe, the blood that was frozen in your vines moved again, you let go of a breath you didn’t know you were holding.. jeno does the same “fuck..” he must have thought the same, he too believed jaemin was about to kill you.

Your limbs fell weak and cold due to the withdrawal of the adrenaline that filled your bloodstream, you feel sick, dizzy.

The bed dips under jaemin’s weight next to you, your head falls back into his soft pillows, aimless tears rolls down your temples, you give him your hands to cuff. you are worn out, you surrender.

He takes both of your arms and cuffs them to the headboard of his bed, your eyes meet, you don’t look away and neither does he. He looks down at you.. his eyes pours inside of your soul.

Dark circles beneath his eyes, dry lips, heavy eyelids but still, still handsome as ever. he leans down to kiss your watery eyes, “for my sanity sake” he whispers between the kisses.

He throws his covers over you, and turns the lights off before he leaves and close the door behind him.

#nct dream #nct 127 #nct yandere #nct mafia #nct smut #nct fluff #nct jeno #nct jaemin #nct reactions #nct imagines #nct scenarios #lee jeno #na jaemin

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honeybunny-sawamura · 4 years ago

Note

im so late (i hate being so busy) can i still join the event? for the timestamps? iwaizumi + 23:45 + chest + nsfw

-💐

💐 anon, excuse me that this is late >o< but it worked out for your request to be posted on his birthday (or just a tad after his bday lol) 🥳 thank you for it and your patience ^-^ i hope you like it 💕 NSFW content below

You fill your pillow with muffled mewls and whimpers as your boyfriend, Hajime, fucks you as he pleases. And tonight, he chooses to be harsher than usual; as a birthday treat to himself.

His hips almost angrily snapping into yours while he squeezes your rear to roughly guide you off and on his cock. Most times you’d eagerly throw it back for him, getting him off with the push and pull of your hips in sync with his thrusts. But all you can do right now is take it like a good girl as he has your ass up and face buried in your pillow. He angles his hips and starts banging on that spongey spot deep in you that’s got your toes curling and hands fisting the sheets below. Desperate moans and lewd pleas get stifled into the soft cushion, but Hajime wants to hear them loud and clear. One of his hands leaves your hips to come around your neck and he pulls you to him. “What was that sweetheart? Daddy couldn’t hear you…” he pants into your ear, smirking when this new position pulls a delicious cry from you. “I-I… You… P-Please…” you stutter but your brain is too hazy from pleasure to get out a proper answer to him. He tuts teasingly before giving your throat a little squeeze, “Come on baby, tell me what naughty things you’ve been mumbling about…” comes his deep and rough command that gets your walls clenching around his cock. As filthy words tumble from your mouth, you bring up a hand to grip his wrist and have him press you flushed against his sturdy chest. You sigh and tilt your head back, enjoying the feel of his muscles flexing while he pounds into your drooling cunt. Your other hand reaches behind you to dig your nails into his chest: the same one you rest your head on after a long day at work or the one he cages you in when he’s being playful with you. Something in you wants to scratch up and leave marks on his handsome chest to let people know how good he fucks you and that he’s yours as much as you are his. Hajime lets out a slight hiss at the sharp pain from your nails and his grip on your throat tightens. “Such a dirty girl... Wanting me to fill her up with my cum... Asking me to make her pretty cunt a mess...” your boyfriend echoes the words you spilt earlier. He says it almost tauntingly and it makes your cheeks burn in embarrassment. You have nowhere to hide so you turn your head away from his so he wouldn’t see the shame heating your face. But he’s seen and loves the shy act you put on for him; he enjoys getting you all flustered and bothered. Hajime suddenly pulls out of you and while you lament about the loss of fullness his cock has left you with, he flips you over to push you flat backed onto the bed. He spreads your legs wide and thrusts back into your eager cunt; giving you no time to adjust while he goes back to slamming his hips into yours. It’s a little too much and you try to ease him off a bit by placing a hard to his chest as leverage to pull your hips away. But he grips your hip tightly and pulls you back down onto his cock, knocking the breath out of you as he bottoms out. His other hand keeps yours against his chest. Hajime leans over you to smother your whines and sobs with passionate kisses then chuckles when you eagerly devour them up. He lets you moan into his mouth before pulling away to watch your expression start to change to blissfully fucked dumb,

“That’s my girl… Let Daddy give you what you want… Fill your messy cunt with my cum…”

HoneyBunny’s 400 Event: FINISHED

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zuffer-weird-girl · 4 years ago

Text

Red hair as roses, and turquoise eyes as orchids

"Dada look!" The bored and depressed blue eyes stood up from his lap to his 6 years old daughter, extending her tiny hands up high in the air.

"Be careful with what you're gonna do pretty doll." He manage to smirk a bit as she pouted, strands of red brushing against her forehead until a huge wave of flames of the colour blue danced around her hands until she jumped and a small prinkle of flames were throw in the air.

She laughed at the sign and clapped her hands in glee at her own little show as Dabi let out a chuckle at seeing the happines of his daughter... instead of him, Emika had the blessing of having a body that could tolerate the heat enough of his quirk that she inherited it from him. Your quirk itself being a huge help for the little girl to not have scars as her father's.

"Did you see Dada?! It was soooo huge and beautiful!!!" She ran towards him only to trip and thankfully landed on the brunette male's lap, giggling with a smile so bright that could've hury his eyes.

"Hmm. Almost like mine princess, im impressed." His hands carresed her chubby cheeks until he heard murmuring behind them.

Of course. Even with his disguise, that were people whose were going to mutter, say bad things... he lost count on how many times Emika had been bullied because her quirk was similiar with the most cruel and wanted villain....

And much to his dismay, Emika didn't take that... very well.

"WHAT ARE YOU WHISPERING ABOUT?! LEAVE US ALONE!" the little girl shouted and the adults only scoffed, picking up their kids and getting out of the park.

"You're going to scare off anyone with that attitude of yours princess." He muttered while carresing her red hair and picking her up as she scoffed.

"They cant say bad things about MY dada!" He smiled at the little girl and sighed.

"Yeah yeah, just lets get out of here before you burn things down."

"Thats something you would do!" She poked his scarred cheek. "Ne ne dada? We gonna visit mama right? I want to bring flowers to her this time!"

His eyes dropped at the ground as his feet carried them to the cemetery...

"We can arrange that."

"Mama was so pretty!!!" Emika squealed as Spinner and Toga showed her some photos as Dabi stared holes into their skulls.

Is not that he didn't wanted his daughter to forget or to not know about her mother... but it was painfull enough to have a father as a villain, now being a mother orphan was just more harder.

Emika couldn't go to school without being recognized as Dabi's daughter. So he brought himself the task to teach her things , being thankfull to his past self that he had studied enough.

"Yeah and she was strong as fuck too according to your dad there." Spinner grinned, showing a picture of you pinning down a hero on the middle of the street.

"Emika-chan, despite not meeting (Y/n) you look so much like her!" Toga beamed with a smile, fangs showing and the little girl giggling when Dabi just yanked her away from the two.

"Naaaaaa dada no bed time!" She squirmed as he carried her to now the comfortable room the league gotten ever since the incident with Shigaraki and Redestro.

"Dont complain or else Im going to take away your toy." He grumbled as the girl gasped and pouted at him much like you would do.

"You wouldn't!" She defies him with a cheeky smile although while settling down on the bed she shared with him.

"Try me." He smirked with a atched eyebrow making her laugh.

Some time passed and Dabi watched as the eyelids of Emika slowly dropped until she called him softly.

"This place we are now... we gonna stay or are the bad man breaking it and we have to move again?" His heart clenched.. she still had the memories when the league had captured that blonde kid and the heroes busted the bar...

With her own view, she saw the villains as the good and normal people despite Toga being a crazy assasin that loved drinking blood, Shigaraki a men that only wanted to destriy the world, Twice a bipolar man and the list goes on...

Emika saw the villains as good people, and the heroes as bad ones... after all, after she found out on her own that her mother died not because of childbirth, but because of a hero that accidentally killed her with a much too strong attack... and only because she wanted to protect the baby on her arms at that time.

So much blood dropped from his eyes... some even dropping on your lifeless body and on the crying baby he soon noticed that thankfully was alive.

He would never forget whem he craddled the baby on his arms and sobbed deyly as his child wailed at not having the warmth of her mother anymore.

Things were tough until they found the league of villains and had at peast a place to crash.

Emika was now soudly asleep as he sighed and brushed his hair.

"When the heroes come to us... I will make sure yoi stay outta of the mess Emika. But you will not like to know the truth about our origins..." he muttered as a scarred hand brushed her bangs and smirked when she nuzzled on his hand... reminding him of how you would nuzzle on him on cold nights...

"Time to sleep off huh? The more we sleep, the pess we have to face the reality." He muttered before laying down and bringing her close to his chest.

"Dada..." she whimpered as fat tears fell feom her turquoise eyes as she tremblingly holded the box of paper towels, helping him clean off the blood from his stapples as he took a final look on the mirror, his white hair finally at show for the first time in so many years.

"Hey," he crouched down and made his best to not wince "I'm fine. Daddy is used to this by now and-"

"bUT I'M NOT!" she yelled and punched his chest with her tiny fist as he frowned and holded her as she sobbed on his chest.

"...Is it true..?" He looked down at the tuff of red hair on his chest "That uncle Twice is not coming back..? That.. T-That grandpa did this to you..m that we are from the family of E-Endeavour?"

He frowned and wiped her tears away as she holded his wrist while sobbing at the loss of Twice, whose always played and made silly faces with her on spare times.

"Yeah... Im sorry for not telling you... but I thought that... Me and your mother actually decided that Emika (L/n) was better than puttingnon a fake and... well, not right name on yours."

"... which hero... killed... mama..?" His heart stopped... should he reaally tell her? She was only a baby of five years.. five fucking years... he was already damaged by society, but her was just a little flower growing...

"Princess.. I-"

"Who?!" She sobbed as his eyes dropped, a heavy sigh as he dinally sit down on the edge of the sofa as he put his hand on his face as the other helped her sit on his lap.

"... your grandpa."

Emika cried heraelf to sleep that night. Wailing that she hated the heroes, that she hated Endeavour, that she hated him for not telling her the truth for so long, that she hated having fo be a Todoroki.

Each word was a spike to his chest as he tried and eventually succeed on calming her down enough, from harsh sobs and eails to soft sniffles and the rest of the tears she had to sheed.

He hugged her just a bit tighter that night as one drop of blood fell from his eyes.

"I thought I could do it (Y/n)... I fucking promised you... but... fuck." He bited his bottom scarred lips to contain a whimper "Everything is just the worst now... why did you have to be so goddamn stubborn and risk your life dammit..."

"Is your fourth bowl of ice cream ya know?" Dabi muttered from his place on the miserable yet comfy apartment you two shared as you stared back at him with a spoonfull of your favorite ice cream on hand close to your mouth.

"I have the right. I'm pregnant. Leave me be." You made a show of putting the spoon on your mouth and moaning out loud as Dabi shooked his head in dismay before taking a place on your side ofbthe couxh before you two cringed at the sounds of the old mobile almost creaking.

"We need to got money to find a new couch." You muttered horrified, just apmost ending all of your money on baby supplies and clothes.

"Or I can just steal one." He smirked at the slight slap you gave to him.

"And have shitty heroes coming our way later? Nu uh mister... maybe just rob a bank though." You muttered before both of you chuckled as you laid your head on his shoulder as he subconsciously placed his hand on the sweel of your stomach and felt a kick already.

"She is going to be a daddy's girl. Im so sure of it." You giggled as he arched an eyebrow.

"How cam you say this already? We dont even know if it is a girl of a boy doll."

"I know is a girl. I just know it. And she has already a favorite parent." You carresed your belly just besides where Dabi's hand was layed on.

"You're exaggerating." He chuckled as he felt another kick "They are going to be a nasty oen though, they kick alot."

"She kicks a lot when your nearby or talking to her. Just like I said, a daddy's girl." You smiled sweetly at him and he never felt so happy...

He looked at your lips for a second as you narrowed your eyes playfully at him before your lips almost touched-

He woke up with a hand tapping on his cheek and soon saw his daughter looking down at him with a pout.

"Can we go walk?" She almost whimpered as he could only stare and slowly nod as he caught his disguise and a very own for her.

She clunged to the black bunny plushie as she walked with pinks connected to him as he stated down at her in worry until she gasped at a convenience store.

"Dada! Snickers!" She pointed as he smiled at seeing a bit of bright on her eyes once again.

"How about we get some, eh?" She nodded with a small smile and soon followed her dad inside.

While she waited for Dabi to get the snacks and pay for them, for once, she gasped when a purple haired boy at the same age as her bumped accidentaly to her making her plushie drop.

"Hey!" She called out with tears on her eyes, being emotionally damaged enough for those past days.

"I'm sorry." The boy said immediatly, kneeling and grabbing the plushie to hand it to her "Its yours?" He tilted his head as Emika grabbed immediatly.

"Of course it was! It was with me until you bunped on me!" Emika slowly dropped her tone of voice at seeing how the purple haired boy seemed genuily sorry as he aproached and bowed once again.

"Sorry, I just am here to grab some medice and a chocolate for my mom and dad. They're both sick and they dont know i went out so I needed to hurry." He smiled as Emika soon dropped slowly her guard down as she muttered.

"Is okay... is just that bunny is speacial to me."

"I can see why. Your mama gave it to you right." Her turquoise eyes widened as she frowned her eyebrows at the boy.

"Kinda of..?" She clinged to the toy "Why do you that?"

He closed his eyes with a tiny giggle.

"Well, she told me as soon as you started to tear up. She is always by your side aparently." Emika eyes darkned and she let go of one hand of the plushie to heat up her hand.

"Say that one more time. I dare you. My mama is not here." She almost cried until the purple boy touched her forehead with two fingers and soon she was not more in the grocery store, but in a blank space.

"HEY YOU!" she shouted "THIS IS NOT FUNNY LET OUT YOU FUCK-"

"Geez, daddy did not spare you of curse words then?" She froze and looked behind her and saw the sane woman Dabi showed photos of and was compared whenever she was laughing or making a trick on others.

She froze for a bit before silently tears started to fall and she hiccupped for a bit before dropping her bunny and running to you as you hugged her tightly.

"Mama! I cant believe-! Is you-! I-I-" she hicupped as you wiped her tears with your thumb and let some of your own fall.

"You're take so much of your dada im so happy... My little girl is just so beautiful..." you whispered as she sobbed while wiping her tears with her sleeve.

"D-Dada!" She gasped before smiling widely and grabbing your sleeve "Dada needs to see this! Mama he misses you a lot he need to see yo-"

"Im sorry princess..." you grabbed her cheek softly "I wanted to see your daddy just as much, but I cant...." her face fell a bit but soon nodded while playing with your fingers and hair.

"Mama? Why did you do it?" You hummed as she looked up hesitantly "Why did youbleave dad? Why... you took.. Endeavour attack..?" She asked sadly as you furrowed your eyebrows but soon closed your eyes and smiled.

"Emika... the day you were born was the day I was gone as well... but when I saw your grandpa recognizing me as a villain and blasted an attack close to where you were... I just had to. I had to protect the feuit of love that me and your father made..." you smiled sadly as she sniffed.

"But you arent with us..." she almost sobbed until you made her look up.

"Emika... Im so sorry for the loneliness you had to endure... the pain... that was the only dowside of the decision I made. My swest little girl..." you cuppex her cheek and wiped a tear "Thank you for letting me be your mother, and Touya for being your father..."

You touched your forehead with her as she noticed your body was slowly turning to tiny hints of lights and fireflies.

"Mama..?" She looked at you crying softly as you kissed her forehead.

"Emika, evertime you see a star in the dark sky it will be me watching over you and your dada... and please understand one thing," you got away from her as your hair floated majestically "Dying for you, was a noble sacrifice I did for love..."

She widened her eyes as she grabbed your hands as you giggled at her expression.

"Say to dada Im watching him too, and that loving him were the happier moments I spend... I love him and always will...after all, he is my canolli, dead or not, okay?"

The littpe girl gasped and looked at the place she was, the grocery store and the boy from earlier retracting his hand with a unsure littpe smile.

"It was your quirk... you... you made me talk with my mama." She says outstruck as the boy giggled but soon gasped at looking the time.

"I have to go! But I hope we meet again." He ran to the door with the bags before looking one more time behind to her "Call me Akira! See you soon Emika-chan!"

She stood there in complete shook before brushing her fingers on the tingling spot you had kissed on her forehead before smiling widely and giggling before knocking her daddy's leg as he grunted.

"Emika what the-"

"Mama is watching us!" She bounced up and down as he atood with a 'what the fuck' expression.

"What the hell Emika?" He grabbed the packs and carried her as he walked on the street.

"Mama said your name is Touya dada! Which I found strange at first but anyway! She kissed my forehead! Hugged me and said how much she loves me and you and is watching us! She is a star dada! A star!!"

His eyes widened. Emika didn't hear his speech to Endeavour. Emika didn't know his real name was Touya instead of Dabi as the league called him... so she was not imagining neither making things up.

"..so you saw mama?" She giggled and nodded while boucing on his arms. "... did she say something else?" He asked hopefully and she smiled widely as much as you would do.

"She said loving you was the most happier she got! And that your are her canolli forever!"

His steps faltered and almost that he dropped his daughter as his eyes widened... only you knew that god for saken nickname you gaved to him...

"Dada?" His daughter words and hands on his cheeks made him ho back to reality as he saw the blood on his little girl's fingers and worried expression "Are you crying..? Dada?"

"Heh..." he wiped with one thumb the blood before smilling at her and continuing walking "Nah. Must be one of my staples..." he stared up as his daughter rested her face on his neck. "Mama is a star then?"

"Ya.." she yawned "Watching us... I bet she is that one." The little girl pointed at the shiniest star on the sku as Dabi smiled...

"Yeah... I also bet on that one."

#dabi x reader #touya todoroki x reader #bnha villains x reader #bnha villains #bnha fanfictions #bnha fanfic #zuffer writings #dabi #touya todoroki #bnha oc

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lesbobiwan · 4 years ago

Note

8 with Hunter 🥺 Please and thank you 😇

#8: "If you're going to act like a little brat then I'm going to treat you like a little brat." + Hunter

warnings: spanking as punishment, cunnilingus, the joys of trying to have a sex life while being a parent to a nosy child

(lets pretend that the galaxy is nice and the bad batch has both omega and crosshair on board. because im the writer and say fuck u cowboy hat man. also u guys r here for porn. not plot)

It wasn't like you were being serious. You only wanted to have a little fun.

Crosshair was just... conveniently there.

"You must have very steady hands," you remark, holding up Crosshair's hand to inspect them.

He smirks from around his toothpick, totally aware of what little game you're playing but always ready to fuck with his brother.

His fingers are more slender than Hunter's, nimble in a way that's beneficial for a man who lives his life on the trigger of a gun.

You've always valued thickness over length.

You continue to inspect Crosshair's fingers regardless.

He lets you ooh and ahh at his fingers and in turn gets a nice confidence boost while fucking with Hunter. A beneficial relationship.

The vein on Hunter's is getting exponentially larger with every second you spend touching Crosshair, but it isn't until Crosshair offers to give you a personal demonstration of how useful his fingers can be that Hunter stands up.

"Alright," Hunter's voice is short and clipped and sure to cause the best kind of pain for your backside. "Everybody out." He stands up from his bunk, drawing the attention of Wrecker, Tech, Echo, and Omega.

"What?" Echo's voice is incredulous as he looks up from whatever he was tinkering with.

"Where are we going?" Omega asks, bouncing up to her feet.

You would smile at her overabundant enthusiasm if it weren't for the fact that you wanted to be fucked. Now.

Being a new parent really puts a damper on your sex life, which was already had to be a little sneaky to begin with when you shared a ship with four other people.

Hunter falters, mouth falling open but staying silent.

"Um, Hunter and I just need to talk about something real quick, sweetheart," you cover, excitement starting to build in your gut.

Tech scoffs and mumbles something under his breath.

Wrecker elbows him hard enough to shove Tech into the side of the bunk.

"Oh," Omega rolls onto the backs of her heels, "what about?"

Yup, you're tapped out for trying to come up with excuses to get a child out of the house so you can have sex.

You look at Hunter and gesture out towards Omega. Your turn.

"Uhm... adult stuff," Hunter stammers smartly.

"C'mon, kid," Wrecker plucks Omega up around the waist and hauls her under his arm like a ball, easily leading her out of the ship.

Tech and Echo are the next to rise, both of them hauling little scraps of machinery.

"You do know we're in the middle of nowhere," Tech reminds the two of you on your way out.

"Out, Tech."

Crosshair is the last to get up, groaning with the obvious tremendous effort it takes to stand up. "You owe me," he informs you, pointing one of his long fingers at you.

"Bye, Crosshair," you sing, reaching out to graze a finger along his wrist as he steps past you.

The tension in the ship is palpable.

"I can't help but feel like you're mad at me," you point out, eyes trailing over the way that Hunter's broad chest rises and falls with each of his deep inhales.

You see Hunter's nostrils flair — most likely breathing in your arousal. No sooner than the thought enters your mind, Hunter's eyes dilate. Definitely breathing in your arousal.

Still, he doesn't say anything.

"Me and Cross were just having some fun," you defend, cheeks growing red.

Suddenly, your grand idea doesn't seem that grand anymore.

"Do you want to do this here? Or in the bedroom?" Hunter steps closer into your personal space, so close you can smell the GAR issued soap on him mixed with something distinctly Hunter.

He's offering you a small bit of mercy, a small portion of control in your punishment.

Then you have to open your big mouth.

"We could always use Crosshair's bun — hey!"

Hunter's hand closes around your hair within one breath and the next.

"Hunter!" you cry out, hands scrambling at his wrist, "What the hell are you doing? Let me go!"

He sits on a bunk and — oh, fuck it's actually Crosshair's bunk, Hunter's actually doing this — sprawls you across his lap, one heavy hand on the back of your neck.

Heat rushes to your cheeks and your cunt. "Okay, this isn't funny," you say, while internally you beg for him to keep going, "let me up."

You don't try as hard as you should to get out of his grasp. You think Hunter knows.

"No." Hunter's grip on your neck tightens while his other hand drags both your pants and panties over your ass until they get stuck around your knees. "If you're going to act like a little brat then I'm going to treat you like a little brat."

Shit. You rub your thighs together over his lap, one of your hands clasping around his ankle.

"How many do you think you deserve after that little stunt?" Hunter asks, though you know it's purely rhetorical. "Ten? Fifteen?" His hand swipes across the meat of your asscheeks, warming up the skin before he strikes it — another small mercy.

You hold your breath. You're sure any number you give will only be doubled.

Hunter huffs. "Smart girl," he comments at your silence. "Count."

That's all the warning you get before —

Smack!

You yelp at the first sting across your skin. The sound registers first before the pain. You jerk across his lap, kicking your legs out as you squeal.

The hand on the back of your neck tightens imperceptibly. "Forgetting something?"

"One!" you cry out, voice thick.

He offers you no praise. Not yet, at least. He knows this is light work for you. It's towards the end of your punishment that he'll have to start talking you through it.

Smack!

Hunter's palm lands on your opposite cheek, harder this time.

"Two!" you yelp, hands clenching around Hunter's ankle.

True to form, it takes more than a few spanks in order for you to begin to reach your limit. Your eyes get teary and you do your best to dig your face into the pristine sheets of Crosshair's bunk.

Still, despite your pain, you feel your inner thighs get slick with your arousal.

"That's my girl," Hunter coos, fingers turning almost gentle as he scratches at the nape of your neck. "Just a couple more, can you do that for me?"

His hand soothes the skin of your burning ass, but you jerk against him in sensitivity.

It's too much. Too much, you just want to be good for him now.

"Color?" Hunter prods, pulling his hand away from your stinging cheeks.

"Green!" you sob into the sheets.

Good girls take their punishment.

Hunter gives you one appraising squeeze to the back of your neck, distinctly different from how he grabbed it to get you under control, and wastes no time in delivering two succinct and brutal spanks — one to each cheek.

You wail out each corresponding number and allow yourself to devolve into tears against the sheets.

Hunter smoothes contact-warm palms over your ass cheeks, soothing the ache as best he can without getting up to grab some bacta. "Good girl," he praises, "such a good girl for me," his hand around the back of your neck slides up and begins scratching at your scalp just the way you like.

You feel your heart rate slowing down, and no doubt Hunter can too, under his careful ministrations. The ache in your ass is no less prevalent, but you can bare it.

Besides, you think as you begin to roll your hips against his thighs, there's another feeling you can focus on, instead.

Hunter chuckles, sliding the hand on your ass to dip between your thighs and ghost a finger along your folds, "Well, I suppose you do deserve a reward, don't you?"

You turn to look at him over your shoulder with teary eyes. "Please?"

Hunter flicks his thumb across your clit, and you jolt across his lap for a different reason this time. "Hands and knees, baby," he murmurs, patting your hip once to signal for you to move.

Your limbs feel sluggish as you pull yourself off his lap. "On the floor?" you ask as you start to lower yourself onto the cold ground.

A hand around your wrist stops you. "No. Right here."

Your eyes flew open. On Crosshair's bunk? Spanking you in one thing, but fucking you?

Your cunt burns in excitement. Crosshair will never forgive you and you'll never forget this.

You settle yourself onto your hands and knees on the worn-in mattress, and you don't have to wait long at all before broad, thick fingers are spreading your thighs open and a wicked tongue is pressing against your cunt.

"Fuck!" you cry out, back bowing as Hunter dives in.

His tongue is downright sloppy as he does his best to bury his face in your dripping folds. The sounds he's making against you are obscene and make your facial cheeks go almost as red as your ass cheeks.

Hunter groans against your cunt like it's the best thing he's eaten, and you tremble with the vibrations.

Fuck, you're so close already, it's not even fair.

His lips wrap around your clit and he sucks.

"Hunter!" you sob, falling face first into the mattress. Your thighs tremble beneath his hands.

After being spanked within an inch of your life, your orgasm is tittering along a cliff's edge, ready to be knocked over by the barest gust of wind that comes along in the form of Hunter sliding two thick fingers into your cunt and curling.

You fall apart around him, lips falling open in a wordless scream as your walls clench around his fingers. His relentless lips that sucked at your clit switch to slow licks as you ride out your orgasm.

Hunter pulls his fingers from your sopping pussy with a wet squelch. Immediately, he sucks his fingers into his mouth.

You watch behind heavy eyelids as Hunter licks up every last drop of your release — you also notice the large wet spot in the front of Hunter's pants.

The knowledge that he came in his pants like some fresh-faced cadet is almost enough to have you wanting a second round.

"C'mon, baby," Hunter rasps, "Let's get you cleaned up."

When the rest of the crew comes back, Crosshair takes one look his bunk, with a wet spot from your tears and the crumpled up sheets and immediately groans.

"You're both disgusting. You're washing my sheets," he complains, pulling them off his bed as best he can without touching too much of them.

"Why?" Omega asks, popping her head in out of nowhere. "What'd they do?"

Yeah, Hunter can deal with that one too, you think as you burrow your face deeper into his chest and close your eyes.

#100 follower celebration #hunter brat tame me challenge #sergeant hunter x reader #hunter x reader

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rinstars · 4 years ago

Text

the call

pairing: suna x reader

genre: a little smut, angst, cheating, unrequited love

word count: 1.5k+

warnings: nsfw, weed/blunt, unhealthy relationships, no proofreading whatsoever im so tired lol sorry

note: i literally just reached 100 followers yesterday but thank u sooo much for another hundred! u guys have no idea how happy it makes me. here's a little gift in return :D in my head he's 99% this type of guy and i wanted to know how far i can take my imaginations with the image i have of him and this is where it took me heh.

The smell of leather and weed floating in the space surrounding you constricts your breathing, making you gasp for air – even more as he suctions the air out of you through your heated shared kiss, your lungs burning with the need for oxygen. But you ignore it. Running your fingers through his hair and meeting his hunger with kisses equally as rough, you ignore the building pain on your chest.

You rock your hips towards him, feeling his hard crotch rub you through the lace of the panties you bought just a few days ago. Pulling away for a moment only to gasp on his reddening plump lips while he lazily guides your movements on his lap, triggering a flood of pleasure to wash over you.

Slender, pale, and long fingers reached over to snatch another blunt, taking a long drag before the very same fingers of the opposite hand take the back of your neck so he can pull you closer to his lips. He breathes the smoke out of his mouth into yours, connecting your lips once again.

Despite the distinct scent of the drug, you taste a tinge of sweetness on your tongue as his own massages yours. Rocking your hips harder to his forces a moan out of you, making your fingers curl around his jet black hair. You pull away, muttering a small give me a minute to him. Leaning back on the steering wheel, you watch him while you try to control your ragged breathing.

His hair is long. Long enough that it falls softly all the way to his eyes and cheeks, the ends brushing his really pale skin. With your earlier statement, he just shrugged with the same unchanging look of nonchalance in his eyes while proceeding to take drags out of his blunt. His beautifully shaped eyes now bloodshot and shiny with moisture.

He's almost like a vampire, now that you think about it. So beautiful. Such pale skin but such dark hair. Sharp gaze but soft lips. Intoxicating scent but still so sweet.

The most similar thing between him and vampires, you thought, is the way he sucks all the life out of you. Drying you out and taking all your light.

This man has corrupted you more than you're willing to admit.

You opened your mouth to say something when the blaring ring of his phone makes you jump. His eyes glanced over the source before grabbing it with a sigh and scanning the monitor. You didn't even need to ask who it is. You're very well aware who it is, and why he never hesitates to answer.

When it comes to you, it always takes a lot of rings and missed calls before he picks up, though. You understand. You tell him you do, you always will.

His childhood bestfriend, Astumu whispered as if he heard you ask the identity of the mysterious caller in your head one night when you were drinking with him in a bar. Loves her a lot. Probably too much.

The alarms rang in your head that night, no matter how much you tried to ignore it. So annoying but at the same time so painful. You didn't know how to turn it off and you wish every single time you could.

"Darling. " He whispered with such a loving voice, one you never heard from him when he answers your calls. Your heart ached but you knew better than to confront him about it. Instead you cry in the arms of the twins, more on Atsumu's, since Osamu takes you through an hour long lecture of why you should have known better.

You know that much.

You shouldn't have let yourself get dragged in this stupid situation, craving a taken man and his touches. Letting him in on your secrets even when he barely lets you get a peak in his.

"I miss you too, my darling.. Oh?.. I'll be home soon." He speaks in pauses as he lets her finish speaking first. You close your eyes to prevent the liquid threatening to spill out, taking a deep breath before slowly lifting yourself from his lap to the passenger seat. His eyes widened a millimeter when he noticed you getting off him without having to tell you. You noticed he ended his call with her and you refuse to look back at him cause if you do, you are sure of another sleepless night.

Cold fingers hook under your chin, slowly turning your head to the left. He leans over the center console, connecting his lips with the soft skin of your neck, making you exhale out at the feeling of him sucking all the reason in you again. He runs his tongue wet on your collarbones, creating a glistening trail.

"I'll see you soon?" He whispered on the crook of your neck, nibbling it a little with his teeth. The bruises he leaves on your skin another reminder that everything is real.

You just hum with a nod, cupping his jaw and slowly pulling him away from you with a small smile. One of his bangs fell on the middle of his face, you reached up to brush it away.

So many unspoken words from you. Too many. You wonder if he has anything he's holding back to say too as his eyes linger on you a second longer than usual. Or maybe you're just desperately reading into the lines again, like what Osamu said way too many times.

"Rin, what.. what are we?" Every parting is like this, like a new way of saying goodbye that you both developed. You just needed to be reminded, to wake up from whatever delusions you're starting to have.

"Nothing." He replies as flatly as all the other times before. Not a hint of emotion – no amusement or remorse.

You swallow, letting your hands fall to your sides. On the verge of turning around and reaching the door, his voice echoes once again. "How many times are you gonna ask me this?"

Until you start feeling something. You thought to yourself.

Anger, disgust, love, hatred, adoration, anything. You just want him to feel something. Prove to yourself and everyone else that you're not just a tool to him.

"Sorry. Slipped out of habit." You settle for that response now. No point having a conversation with him about this.

"You don't have to leave right away, I can still drive you home."

Losing all the strength to refuse, you found yourself just agreeing with him. Why the fuck are you even so upset to begin with? You knew what you signed up for. You knew about the girl. You saw him with her in the very same bar a few nights ago before your first night together. Watched how much attention he gives her, how tightly he holds her.

"I'll break your heart by the end of this, baby." He warns you as you feel his length slip inside you, making you moan out in ecstasy.

"I don't care." You pant, grabbing him by the hips as a way of telling him to go faster.

Looking back, you shouldn't have been so foolish and say that. Now, you're paying the price. Now, your exit has been sealed.

The moment you met him, you forgot everything – your reason, pride, dignity, loyalty, sense, self-love. You hate how intoxicates you like the drugs on his backseat and yet you can't stop. You wonder if he knows how you feel about him. If he notices the way your eyes would light up when you see him or the way you would wrap your arms so tightly like you're afraid of letting him go.

The car stopped soon after and you looked out the window to find yourself in front of your house. You collected your things and fastened the clasp on your sandals then opened the door, stepping a foot outside when he once again stops you by the wrist.

"I'll call you soon. I promise."

"I'll be waiting." You wriggle out of his grip without looking back, stepping your remaining foot out to join with the other as you stand up to leave. "Take care, Rintarou."

"You too, baby." The sound of his tires grow fainter by the second as he speeds off to his and his girlfriend's shared apartment. You didn't notice the sobs wrecking your body. Not until you feel warm droplets fall to your open palms in front of you. You clutched your phone tightly, holding it to your chest.

You can only hope the next call comes soon.

note: a little smut + angst for everyone. whether or not this will be turned into a mini series completely depends on the feedback! let me know what u guys think <3

#suna rintarou smut #suna rintarou angst #suna rintarou x reader #suna rintarou x you #suna smut #suna angst #suna x reader #suna x you #haikyuu angst #haikyuu smut #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu fic #suna rintarou fic #suna fic

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danniburgh · 4 years ago

Text

Rushingly Bittersweet (Javier Peña x f!reader) part 21

Pairing: Javier Peña x ofc//f!reader with name.

Summary: After the fall of Escobar everything starts happening way too fast for Javier; his raise, his new office, his new team, the Cali cartel’s operation, the sudden arrival of a new agent that was transferred to his team for no apparent reason, the way he was falling in love with her almost unintentionally.

And he couldn’t seem to stop any of that.

Word count: +4.9k

Chapter warnings: uhm, this chapter is Javier’s perspective ehehe, so, beware fo feelings

A/N: This chapter is set in season three, episode ten. // again, i am really fucking sorry, but we are ALMOST DONE OMG, also i wanna say thanks to my official cheerleaders @queenofthefaceless and @maharani-radha-writes that helped me a lot and @alliterative-albatross that made me feel sure of some of the ideas i had for this chapter, i love you lots, guys. While proof reading this chapter for the first time i understood why it was the hardest to write, it was because i had just to strip myself naked and understand more of Javier Peña as i had built him... i just... im not quite pleased with the second half of this, but i know its needed.

ao3 // fic index // Masterlist // fic playlist

comments and reblogs are eternally appreciated 💓 let me know if you wanna be tagged

←previous // next→

gif: @javier-pena (thank you so much for making this when i needed it the most, ily)

The air weighed on his chest; he felt his lungs struggling to find air; as he drove home, he felt his heart pounding hard and fast, as if it wanted to rip out of his chest and run and hide and die.

As if his heart wanted the same he did.

Javier couldn’t sleep that night. He didn’t even try to close his eyes after climbing into bed.

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw you.

Jesus Christ.

His mind was reeling, he couldn’t stop replaying every single thing you told him in his mind.

“My name is not Florencia Martín”

“A precarious situation”

“Another Los Pepes scenario”

“You do care, you care a lot”

He wanted to crawl into a deep hole and bury himself to stop his body from feeling.

Javier cringed deeply when he remembered he had told you he had fallen in love with you without even thinking about it.

That certainly wasn’t the way you were supposed to find out.

He guessed, while tossing around on his bed, on the same sheets that still smelled like you, that he had it coming. He probably deserved it. But that didn’t make him feel any better, it stung.

It burned.

Javier had stripped himself naked for you, more than just his body, he had let you see him; he had let you touch him; he had let you read him; he had let you know him.

He had let himself feel and… he had let himself think he deserved something good.

He felt like such an idiot, stupid and embarrassed because there you had been… Standing in front of him, in a place he thought it would become something close to his fortress, breaking him. And he let you.

God. He had known you for less than six months, and yet he let you have power over him. All that power to make him whatever you wanted. He had handed you a sledgehammer and his heart and soul on a porcelain platter for you to shatter.

And he just took it.

Javier huffed at his own thoughts while his eyes were glued to the ceiling.

He was an idiot, wasn’t he? Having let himself feel all those things he had been so beware of for a woman he never really knew.

What else was fake about you?

He felt that sting, known and oh so foreign clench in his throat and he fought it. He fought it hard. Why was he feeling like that?

“A precarious situation”

“You do care, you care a lot”

He sat up and brought his knees to his chest, clenching his jaw so tight his face started trembling.

He had to unclench it so he could open his mouth and gasp for air because his lungs were tightening in his chest and he knew he just had to let go. He shook his head to nothing and fought it again. He would not break. He couldn’t.

But then he remembered he was all alone. Just him and his mind and... he stopped fighting for the first time in years and allowed his feelings to pour down from his eyes.

Javier clenched his jaw again as he felt the thick, years old tears pouring and pouring, clouding his sight, flooding his face.

“Fuck,” he muttered to nothing, resting his face on his hand and his arm on his knee, his chest struggling with the silent sobs he was drowning in.

Javier cried for around an hour.

He allowed himself to cry, to cry for you, because if he had allowed himself to fall in love with you and he had allowed you to wield power over him, he deserved a chance to fall apart as well.

He had earned it.

His tears of grief and pain became tears of anger and pain.

He was so angry; at himself, because, thinking again about everything you had told him, you had said something right; he had dragged you into having whatever the hell you two had. He had kissed you and practically turned your wrist into starting something with him only, and just only because he felt lonely. Because he felt like maybe, for the first time in decades, he could have something good. Because he felt like maybe it was time for him to love and be loved again when, in reality, he didn’t deserve to be loved by anyone.

He had let himself believe you could be something else, less complicated. But how wrong he was… Him? Loved? As if. Him? In Colombia? Laughable.

That country… It became more than clear how much he had lost by going down there.

He huffed again in between tears at how it took a massive hit to the heart for him to realize how much he had lost in the years he had been there.

He was so angry; at the system. The fucking system that forced you and him into taking assignments you didn’t deserve to take. There wasn’t another moment he hated more right then, than the moment he had said yes to returning to Colombia. His dad was right, he didn’t like what he found. And it truly changed him before he could change it. How he wanted to have listened to him, how he wanted to not be the stubborn ass he was and just… said no.

And you? You had taken an assignment that promised unreachable things, one that forced you into turning into a liar, one that didn’t let you be yourself.

Fuck, was he really trying to find justifications for what you did even though you had broken him in pieces?

He was so angry; at you. For lying to him and from dropping the facade, for taking off the mask that he had rushed to love, for thinking he deserved the truth instead of you leaving once everything was over. He thought it would have hurt less if you had just… disappeared.

He wouldn’t be crying at three in the morning on his bed if you had just vanished into thin air.

Javier remembered seeing the hope in your eyes when you were telling him the truth, who you really were, he saw it and he wanted to tell you he forgave you. But neither of you deserved something that good.

He was sure it all was some kind of karma. A penance for all his sins, a way too high price he had to pay for all the shit he had done.

He realized then, while sitting on his bed in the middle of the night, the same one he had shared with you for nights that felt burned into his memory, that you and him weren’t so different.

That you two had more in common than he had first thought. That you, as he had said to you before, when you were still wrapped around his arms on that same bed, were a person who was willing to do anything for a greater cause. That you as well were capable of doing anything if you thought it did good, that you also were capable of sacrifice, of losing everything as long as you were doing what you thought was the right thing.

And you had told him, as you cried your eyes out in front of him, facing him and facing and taking all the repercussions of your actions, that you really thought it was the right thing to do.

The realization was truly bittersweet. He didn’t like that even when you had broken his heart and stepped on the pieces as you walked out, he still understood why you did it.

After that despaired, miserable night, he decided he was done bringing you to the front of his mind, so he shoved all the memories of you and tried to repress them in the back of his head along with countless others he didn’t rather to address.

The next day he stepped into the office with less than half an hour of sleep he had seemed to catch while condemning himself in the solitude of his room and avoided looking at your still cluttered desk. Full of you.

He ignored Stoddard when he asked him where you were as he stepped out of the office to head to Cali an hour later and while the elevator brought him down to the lobby he tried to drown the way the mention of your fake name made him feel.

That morning you walked directly to the CIA office, every step you gave into the embassy hurt in your body, mind and soul as if each one had a dagger embedded deeply and an invisible hand was twisting each dagger deeper. You felt the weight of the world on your shoulders. You entered, unannounced, into Stechner’s office, not even trying to hide the enormous amount of pain you were going through. You were tired of hiding things.

“Ah, my favorite DEA agent,” Stechner said when he saw you walk in “well, not anymore, I guess.” he smirked and you felt his gaze linger on your body, shamelessly.

“Let’s just get this over with.” you muttered, crossing your arms on your chest.

“Oh, this is more than over, alright?” the man leaned back on his chair and reached a manila folder that rested on top of others on his desk and raised it so you could see it “resignation, what a word,” he said, putting the folder back on the desk, opening the folder and taking the sole sheet of paper on his hand “really? after you failed almost epically?” Stechner smiled humorlessly and took your resignation letter in both hands and… ripped it in half.

You drowned a gasp.

“You have a flight to Washington today at noon.” he let out softly, feigning a comprehensive tone.

“Of course I do.” you mumbled, dropping your arms to the sides, feeling your eyes flood with tears as you saw him tossing the parts of your resignation letter in the trash can.

You blinked the tears away and quietly took a deep breath, halfway achieving a fake sense of stability you had fed yourself since the night before.

What were you thinking, after everything you did they would have let you get off easy? Of course not you silly girl.

“Oh, honey, you need a hug?” Stechner asked with a teasing gaze and a fake tone of worry “I bet breaking up with Peña really did something on you, you look like a mess”

You tightened your jaw and rolled your hands into fists, Stechner noticed, and his mocking face dropped.

“Anything else?” you asked him, voice hardened, with your eyes staring right into his, admonishing him, warning him. He knew what you were capable of, you knew he did.

He shook his head twice, and you lifted your chin up.

“I really wish you the best, sweetie.” he mumbled, dropping his gaze to his desk and trying to ignore the way your face turned into a scowl at the endearment.

“No, you don’t, you fucker,” you all but growled wanting nothing more than to erase that seemingly permanent smirk off his face that grew after he raised his head to look at you “you’re happy that I’m getting out of here like this,” you chuckled bitterly “you wanted this to happen, I hope you’re satisfied.” you let out all the venom you had been keeping inside you for that man in the last sentence you spat to him.

“You’re right, but I won’t say it,” he tutted and shook his head slowly “you really cost us a lot, sweetheart,” he mumbled and you were sure you were about to spit foam from the rage inside you “I hope you know that.”

You sighed and smiled bitterly at the man. Ever so fucking disgusting. For the first time in your life, you wanted something bad to happen to someone. And you didn’t regret it.

“I won’t ever forget it.” you spat at him in a soft voice that made him glare at you with a serious face.

You turned around and walked out of his office, leaving the door open, feeling his stare on your back.

Feeling, then more than ever, the insides of your mind finishing crashing down. Finally broken. Fully broken.

You walked towards the elevator and pushed the lobby button, hoping to dissolve in the way, hoping the elevator floor would just break and the void swallowed you and your body crashed against the concrete floor of the second basement.

But instead, the doors opened on the DEA floor and Stoddard stepped inside, shooting you a concerned smile as the doors closed.

“Hi, Florencia,” he looked at you and you tried to give him a smile, knowing you failed “you okay?” he asked, you blinked a few times before looking at him. He pushed his glasses up.

“Yeah!” you let out in a squeal “just peachy.” you drifted your eyes away and sighed again.

“I… thought you were in Cali.” Stoddard let out after a few seconds, you turned to see him with your brow furrowed.

“Cali?”

“Well… yeah,” he shrugged “the boss and the guys went back to Cali this morning.”

You let out a sigh, of both relief and worry.

“Oh,” you said under your breath “no, I…” you shook your head and tried to smile at him again and failed, this time he noticed “I needed to take care of something else.”

“I see,” he mumbled, the elevator doors opened and you stepped out “you sure you’re okay?” he asked, looking at you, you nodded several times.

“Yeah, Stod,” you assured him, trying to make him believe it, not quite sure if you believed yourself “I’m fine.”

Stoddard nodded at you as the elevator doors closed and you waved him once goodbye. Knowing it would be the last time. You walked out of the embassy in complete and utter shame, and some part inside you screamed that you deserved it.

Javier rescued another witness that day, because he still wanted to do something right even though he didn’t feel right himself.

But then, after sending Guillermo Pallomari to Miami, he had to return to his office. That place he had thought was his fortress, and then it was turned into… a dungeon.

He didn’t ignore your cluttered desk this time; he was alone in the office, there was no one that could say anything of him if he just… looked around.

A steel cup filled with different colored pens and only red markers, a pile of unsigned DEA reports, in one of the drawers a block of sticky notes running low, the same ones you made notes on and stuck on files when you reviewed them and that Javier hated to see because they were just so fucking bright, your red coffee cup you used when you didn’t have time to grab some at his house because he just kept kissing you until you both were late, which didn't happen at your place because Javier always woke up before you and started the coffee machine, a gun holster you hated to use because it just never clutched the way you wanted to your jeans and a small, brown journal he had never seen before and that he took because there wasn’t anyone that could say anything of him if he just… looked around.

He hesitated for a moment to open the journal, unsure of himself or of what he would find. The first page had your initials, your real initials written on the far left corner and just a list of names he didn’t recognize, next a few scribbles and a phone number. Javier skimmed through the pages and around the middle he found his name. Written in your pretty handwriting, with a few numbers underneath that looked dangerously close to file codes.

He snapped the journal closed and left it where he found it. He shouldn’t have looked.

In his office he found all the documents you had risked so much to gather and all the intel you just handed to him, pretty much as he had handed you his heart.

Javier let out a sigh and grabbed the folders, sitting behind the desk and opening the first one.

He re-read every single piece of information until his eyes stung from the exhaustion, or the cigarette smoke, or maybe more unshed tears he was once again fighting so hard to keep inside him.

Tears of sadness, it was a given. But also anger, and frustration and pain, and, as a bucket of freezing cold water, years of regrets fell on him.

Javier had tried, had tried hard to bury all that shit in some far, deep corner of his mind, as he had tried to bury you and all his memories of the last four? five? months. He really did. But at that moment, sheltered inside an office that didn’t feel like his anymore, past midnight, alone and so damn vulnerable, it all rose to the surface and he found himself drowning inside a sea of his own mistakes and past sins.

It was unbearable to stay there. So he grabbed the files that felt like burning in his hands and took off.

And so, Javier went back to an empty apartment that even though had been his for a long time, felt emptier than it had ever felt without you and reminded him only of you.

Why had he allowed his house to become a fucking shrine to the time you had spent there?

Everytime he looked at everything, from the fucking lamp at the corner of the end table to the damn waterbottle you left the last morning you were there on his kitchen counter, an image of you invaded his mind. Like a suffocating wildfire, spreading with the simplest blow of the wind. Covering him, trapping him, burning him and turning him into ashes.

That night he drank almost all the alcohol he had left in his house and even then, with his body full of booze, his intoxicated mind all the time returned to you. To your face, to your eyes and that color that was so common yet somehow looked so unique, to your voice and how you called his name either on a whisper or on a scold, to your smile and how apparently you had one only for him, to your hands and how you used them one night to touch him and the next morning to grip a gun, to how you drove him crazy from the very beginning. Fuck, he loved you. And he hated you all the same.

You gave him your resignation letter, you had left a job you claimed you loved so much that you had taken on something that did you so much wrong. You quit because of what they made you do, and probably, just probably, he had to do the same. Because of what they did to him.

Was it worth it? Everything he did… Was it worth something? Anything?

He thought again of everything he had done in the past decade and felt sick at what his brain was showing him. It really wasn’t.

The idea of doing something good, doing something that could give him a little peace invaded his mind and he spent half the night thinking of something he could do to finally, finally feel like he was helping.

The next morning he found himself sitting in the conference room with Crosby hovering around him. He huffed at himself, sitting there as if there was nothing wrong going around, with the ambassador looking at him with his ever so present judgemental smirk, as if he wasn't just pieces of a man that put himself together with the weakest glue when he got dressed that morning with less than two hours of sleep after being trapped inside his house that smelled like you with nothing but alcohol and time to think. His pop was right, they did something to him in that country. He just didn’t know what.

“Y’know how many times I’ve gotten a call from the Department of Justice and State the same morning?” Crosby rhetored, Javier looked at him, already tired of the lecture he was about to get “count ‘em on one finger, guess we have you to thank for that.”

Javier dropped his eyes to the oak table in front of him and absentmindedly tried to draw a pattern with the tip of his finger while half listening to Crosby telling him about his meeting with the Colombian president to demand that the gentlemen of Cali stayed in jail. He looked back at his boss and after half a second of pondering he told him he had a draft indictment of the president’s ties with the cartel, omitting the part of the story where he had drafted it half drunk the night before. And of course Crosby laughed at it.

Javier huffed again at himself when Crosby suggested he kept the draft to himself and he felt his blood starting to boil. He sighed and fought the urge to stand up and leave. What was he thinking? That a man like Crosby would back up a man like him? Just like that? What a naïve thought.

“The DOJ’s not gonna topple a government, Agent Peña,” the ambassador told him, obviating the statement, Javier felt his chest turn “you can’t tell me you’re surprised by that.”

“Some part of me was holding out hope, I guess.” he muttered to Crosby, who walked around the table and stood next to him, Javier didn’t even bother to hide his face from him, god how tired he was of hiding.

“Well, you should tell that part to grow the fuck up,” Crosby spat and Javier drowned a bitter chuckle “no, I mean it, Agent Peña, you should be happy,” the ambassador said and Javier frowned at the man “you played the system like a goddamn fiddle, you won.”

Javier opened his mouth to rebut the statement but Crosby just walked behind his chair and left the room, leaving him with the word in his mouth.

He felt his stomach toss in disgust, at his boss, at his job, at himself. Fuck that.

“Yes, sir.” he mumbled under his breath.

Did he really win something? The job that helped him escape from everything, the one at some point of his life felt like a dream, had become a nightmare. The woman he grew to love, after years and years of not feeling that, barely got out of there alive and the name he had whispered in extasis wasn’t even hers. Everything he had once believed in was melting away like wax on a candle and being washed away by a sea of regret, desolation and anger.

Did he really win something when he had lost everything? He had even lost himself in the process of what he and everyone around him had called a once in a lifetime opportunity to end a War that was so familiar to him it almost sat at the table on Thanksgiving with him and his dad.

And when he got out of the conference room, with the weight of the world on his shoulders, the idea of following your steps and quit became a lot more attractive to him.

So he went back to his empty home filled with your memories, resigned that he wouldn’t sleep much that night either, and stood in the middle of the living room, not knowing why he felt like a visitor in his own house, chain smoking, thinking about everything just because he wanted to stop thinking about you.

Javier walked to his window and dwindled himself to watch the cars down the street pass, the city was so unaware of everything. The country was so unaware of how it was being torn apart by the same people that were elected to take care of it. And he was so fucking angry, at everything and everyone, at himself. And so tired. Exhausted.

The phone rang behind him and he didn’t even flinch at the sound, even when practically no one called his house phone. He just let the machine get it.

“Hi, Javi, uhm…” he stiffened in place when he heard your voice and turned his head to eye the cradle “I know you probably don’t wanna listen to me right now but…” you sounded small, your voice sounded thin, Javier turned around and walked towards the phone “uhm, I wanted to apologize again and…” he felt like he couldn’t think, his mind was filled with your voice as if it were a fog that clouded his vision, he wanted to pick the phone up, he wanted to ask you where you were and tell you to come home to him, but his brain wasn’t letting him “I–I’m in Washington and I tho–thought…” his eyes closed on themselves when he heard you sigh and choke down a sob “forget it, uhm, I just… fuck…”

Javier looked at the phone, the sound of static still there, he pondered if he should just swallow his anger and his newfound pride and just pick up.

“I think someone will contact you about this and I just wanted to let you know I–I didn’t tell them anything about... us…” he heard you chuckle softly and he just stood there, rolling his hands into fists, waiting for you to say something else, “I’m sorry, Javi, uhm… I really think I did the right thing by telling you, I’m just sorry it had to be like this…” you sniffed on the phone and Javier sighed, “I guess I also wanted, uhm, to hear your voice… shit.” he closed his eyes and grabbed the phone.

“Hello?” he said and gripped the receiver when the sound of the cut line replied to him.

Javier threw the receiver on the floor and sat on the couch, cursing at himself for his weakness and his hesitation altogether.

He rested his head on his hands while thinking on the few things you had said, if you were in Washington talking to the directives that meant they didn’t let you resign, that meant they were firing you. And you called him to let him know his involvement was minimal, because still after everything you were trying to divert the backlash from him.

God how he was tired.

That’s when he decided, he was going to do it. Not only for what you had made him feel, but because he just needed to leave back all the baggage he had been carrying with him for almost a decade. He needed to let go. He knew it, he needed to free himself of something that turned him entirely into a different person that wasn't even close to what he had been before, because no one else would do it for him.

And he had nothing else to lose. Absolutely nothing.

Once that thought occupied his mind, he finally could lay down on the couch and sleep.

The next morning Javier just re-dressed and called his journalist contact, he had decided, in his pre-sleep haze, that he was just gonna tell the truth. To everyone.

Just as you did with him, he was going to use all the information you had given to him to redeem yourself of your own baggage to get rid of some of his.

Even when he didn’t want to think of you, you were still helping him.

And the truth went out as he told it, and he let himself out of the whole situation by following your steps.

Until the ambassador called him into his office later that day and that time… Javier felt like he could tell the man absolutely anything.

He had nothing else to lose.

When he walked into the office Crosby was watching the news about his little interview. Javier walked and sat in across from him, feeling something that looked like freedom. But his mind was still reeling with guilt and loss.

“You didn’t really call the country that we’re guests in a narco democracy.” Crosby asked without asking, Javier looked at the man and shook his head once.

“Are you sayin’ that it isn’t?” he replied, looking at the ambassador tightening his jaw.

“The state department’s livid.”

Javier nodded a few times.

“Good, they’re responsible,” he let out and shrugged slightly “we all are.”

“Samper is not going anywhere.” Crosby let him know, quite exasperated. Javier dropped his eyes to the man’s desk.

“Well, at least people know the truth.” he said, including himself in the sentence. No more lies.

Javier saw Crosby shake his head and study the four walls that surrounded them, and he caught himself wanting to read him like you would be able to.

“I want you gone, Peña,” the ambassador told him, Javier guessed so “so do the colombians.”

“I understand, sir.” Javier replied and Crosby said nothing else. He looked at the ambassador for a few seconds and saw also a shell of a man. He guesses that it wasn’t so much the job that took a person’s humanity, but the context in which they do it.

He stood up and walked towards the door.

“You know…” Crosby called, Javier turned around “any aspirations you had for your career just got dragged behind the barn and shot.”

Javier licked his lower lip and allowed himself to look intently at the ambassador, the man looked at him with something he thought was pity.

“I resigned from the DEA this morning.”

Crosby stood up straighter when he heard it, Javier said it almost solemnly, and saying it out loud not only made it more real, but it really made him feel light as a feather for the first time since he was a teenager when he walked out of the ambassador’s office for the last time in his life.

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oh-for-fic-sake · 4 years ago

Note

What is August going to do if his little decides to play with his forbidden knife collection? :3

Omg so this took a while and i'm sorry but im sooo happy with this! It got a little long so im hidig it under a cut but i hope you enjoy! @littlefreya @viking-raider

August swore vehemently looking around for the blades he'd sharpened specifically for his next assignment.

This needed to be silent and precise, he'd sharpened each blade twice! Not once but twice!

He wouldnt even attempt his 'arm hair' shave test this time knowing he may have gone over board with the sharpening.

But he couldnt help it, he found it therapeutic running his hands over the blades again and again, it was like medatation for him.

But they were no where to be seen! Hed placed them each delicatly in the rolled travelling leather holster, useing the small poppers to lock each dangerous blade in place and then hid it in the small safe in the wardrobe.

"Baby girl! LITTLE ONE HAVE YOU BEEN IN THE SAFE?!" He shouted down the stairs only not to get an answer, the radio on the kitchen drowning him out.

You were baking, well 'bakeing' he had bought a 'unicorn gingerbread box kit' for you both to make today.

It was a small treat he would spend the day with you doing anything your little heart desires befor setting off onto his week long mission.

You were currently rolling out the gingrbread and he had decided to sneak his weapons into his bag while you were preoccupied.

August never liked rubbing innhis occupation with you, never liked faceing the awkward questions, he wont lie to you but in being truthfull he can sometimes frighten you.

In the bedroom he was as ruthless and rough and demanding as he was at work.

But like this when you were little, you drew out a softer side. Well as soft as he was capable of, he was a stern man in everything he did, even in daddying you.

August huffed and zipped his case violently stressing out he needed to go down and pversee ou before you did something foolish, like tried to put the gingerbread in the oven.

Your panicked hyperventilating and bitten 9ff screams drew his attention immediatly!

He bolted down the stairs as fast as he could, so panicked by the cries and screams from the kitchen he raced through the housestomping and crashing with all the grace of a bull in a china shop.

Oh hell.

He froze, face paling mouth agape as he took in the scene.

Then he roared in a way you'd never heard.

You cowered holding your hand tightly as it bled profusely red life blood poured all over the white counter ruining the sheet pan dusted with what was once pure white flour.

The blood was also over the rolled out gingerbread, along with a very familiar knife.

You cried and staggered over you august holding your wound tightly tripping over your feet to him, wandering blindly unable to see much through your tears. Or hear past your frantic crying and yelps of "daddy!?"

August quickly decended on you grasping a teatowel from the laundry basket on the counter and tookover holding your offered wounded hand whislts snappjng at you in worry fueled anger.

"What the fuck are you dojng with that!? They are daddies special knives! You know not to touch thwm you silly little girl!"

"I'm s-so-rry! OUCH, NO-OO DAD-DY IT HURTS!" You cried out complaining as he dabbed the wound inspecting it.

It wasnt to deep just long, across the whole of your palm. He could tell your slipped and probably didnt evwn notice youd cut yourself untill it'd sliced fully across.

He'd sharpened them that much.

"You will be! By god little lady you will ne so very very sorry when im done woth you!"

"Come on sit down before you pass out and bleed all over the kitchen" he said tying a knot in two corners ot the teatowle making a triangle like a sling and looped it around your palm then fetched a wooden spoon slotting it in the large opening and began twisting it tight making a tourniquet.

You hissed as he pulled the clother thighter and tighter then slipped the wooden spoon into your fingers holding the teatowel still, before raising your hand high letting gravityhelp slow the bleeding.

"Now hold that there, dont you move, w need to stop the bleeding so i can mend it" he snipped grunting to himself. He wasnt worried as such, it looked worse than it was he had tended to worse on himself.

"Y-you can fix it da-ddy?" You sobbed tryi g to be brave but you were shaking like a leaf, youd never bled that much before.

"Yes daddy can fix it poppet, daddy can always fix it" he said quickly pulling out his... vast medic kit that was fully stocked to deal with everything from burns and cuts to bullet woulds and decapitated fingers. Because ou never know.

"A-are you mad da-addy?!" You whined eyes wide as he huffed and sighed dragging his hands through hos hair irritated

"Im not angry im very very disappointed. And you can bet your little ass is gonna be meeting that spoon shortly!" He said vehemently trying to calm himself and remind himself it wasnt too serious and he could deal with this cut.

You didnt even argue just looked down, dropping your watery eyes to the floor like a kicked puppy, and it wasnt even to soften him either.

"Why were you touching daddies private things?" He spoke tyring to take both his and your mind off your wound as he located everything he needed from the box.

"A'cos i wa-nted to see...they were shiney after you were polishin'em" you explained hicupping slowly weeping still as the pain and throbbing set in.

"I was sharpening them poppet, not polishing" he uttered quickly with a sigh trying to find a quaze big enough to wrap in a bandage.

"I just wanted to see... Never gon' touch" you sobbed bijng your lip eyes flickingnup the the now red teatowel, your figers were going a ittle numb from the tight tourniquet.

"And then?" He asked quirking a brow as you before waling to the kitchen sink washing and rinsing the washing up bowl thoroughly befpre filling with fresh warm water and a new clean cloth.

"Then the box said cut round the unicorns with a knife... And I already got it out to look at" you said shrugging a little as he moveed down your hand. Luckily the bleedig had stopped.

"I also says let and adult do it" your daddy chided as he slowly and gwntly unwrapped your hand making our fingers sting a little at the renewed bloodflow

"Im an-adult" you argued weakly then hissed as he begancleani g the wound dabbig it ever so lightly knowig he had to use clean water instead of antiseptic that could slow the healing of the delicate skin.

"Your a baby" he said with a roll of his eyes 'a spoilt baby' he added as an after thought to himself.

"...but im carful never cut myself with my big girl knives!" You agrued then gasped giving a small 'uh oh' you mouth had run away with you again.

"You mean the kitchen knives?" August asked quickly coming down on the new information like a... well hammer on a land mine.

"No... my saftey knives daddy" you uttered under your breath hissing as he moved on to the next stage of tending to your wound pressing the gauze to it.

"What do you mean your safety onives little one?" He said paying close attention to the bandages he was unravling over your hand trying to keep it firm but comfortable.

"My safety knives... i-in my purse?... Incase of baddies" you whispered slowly praying he wouldnt hear you. But his fingers paused for a second before quickly tying off the bandage in a knot and gave you a fierce look.

"You have knives in your?- wait hold-" august frowned and held a hand up singnalling you to stay then left the kitchen.

He returned moments later and emptied your pjrse only to growl shaking his had as a plethora of 'cute' weapons fell out. Hello kitty switch blades, rainbow blades, pink pocket knives and suspicious looking comb, key knives, pen knives you name it! There was even a ... cat keyring obviously meant to be some sort of pointy eared knuckle duster.

"Really poppet? Knives and... knuckle dusters- these are" he began scolding you but you cut him off

"I know i know daddy im sorry-" your apology was halted as your daddy spoke over you in a warning to e, he didnt like being interrupted.

"No where near good enough! These are all close range! If your close enough to use these then your already fucked! No you need pepperspray and a tazer!" He growled quickly picking up the feeble knives that had no grip to them, and wasnt ever sharp!

"T-tazer?" You stuttered tiltinnyour head cradling your injured hand to your chest.

"Yes, they are close range but will stop any attacker in their tracks! You can get away whilst your attacker is convulsing and laying in a pool of his own piss!" August growled becoming more and more aggravated as he realised you had now real way of protecting yourself when he wasnt around, big or little!

"Im getting you a tazer- today! Before i leave" he decided nodding to himself as he binned the now soiled teatowel and wash cloth.

"...can i have a pink one daddy?" You asked not being the slightest bit against having a tazer, it would make you feel alot safer then a knife.

Knives needed a proper opening and some brute force to protect you and could really really hurt someone!

A tazer was just a button and could work nomatter where ou hit the baddy and would kill them just make em gall over and pee.

"You can have a pink one princess... or a lipstick one or a tampon one?" Auguast suggested trying to thinl of the best one for you... he was sure a smaller discreet one whould be better than a law enforcement grade.

"That sounds uncomfortable daddy..." you uttered shuddering at the thought of that... being mistaken.

"Its not really a- fuck it... Right come on lets get in the living room you can go pick a tazer online" he said beginni g to pack up the first aid kitpillig everthing neatly into the box.

"O-okay... but no spankies daddy... I'm hurt" you warned cautiously waving your bandaged hand

"Yes spankies! Absolutly spankies! You take this spoon with you and you can pop it on the table as a reminder!" He ordered holding you with a level gaze blue eyes warning you to do as you were told.

"But my hand-" you said sniffling cradling it.

"Will be the least of your problems when I'm tanning your naughty butt! Now go or else" he threataned clipping the first aid box shut still watching you, staring unblinkingly.

"Or else what-" you started but your daddy was havig none of it and cut you off again.

"There is a silicone butter icing spreader in this kitchen that will be much worse than thw wooden spoon! Now get in the living room befpre i make you find it" he growled not about to let you throw a paddy about getting your ass blistered after the stunt you pulled.

Your lower lip wobbled but yu nodded giving up, plucking the wooden spoon and turning around leaing the kitchen in a walk of shame muttering a tiny 'yes daddy, sorry daddy'

Auguast watched with a stern face, before turning his attention to the bloody kitchen he will clean before coming to deal with you.

A good fifteen mineut wait will let you have time to reflect before he comes in and tans you hide.

#henry cavill #henry cavill x reader #august walker x reader #august walker x little reader #oh for fic sake headcannon #oh for fic sake ask

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junova · 4 years ago

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↬ 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞 | 𝐫. 𝐝𝐫𝐲𝐬𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐞

abstract — the one where ransom gets a taste of his own medicine, but you happen to be so much sweeter than he’s ever been.

pairing — ooc!ransom drysdale x fem!reader

wc — 4.1k+ im so sorry lmao

warnings — cheating (if u squint its very vague), angst, fluff, slight self deprecation, ransom is kinda nice idk, i want a soft!ransom drysdale now pls, this is also very messy so read at ur own risk!

[m blabs] — howdy howdy! first time ransom fic. woot woot! still kinda finding my voice w writing so i hope you like it! <333

His mouth set in a hard line as you continued to curl into his chest, the span of your confidence seemed to be wiped away with a nightmare from the past. Part of him was upset you hadn’t told him anything, the blind leading the blind, as you stepped foot into his family event. Seeing the last person you’d ever thought would be there.

Surely by now, he thought you would trust him but it was more than evident you still didn’t. You persisted on hiding everything from him, anything you were sure might tick him off.

Well, Ransom wasn’t necessarily known for biting his tongue. Although, in your presence, he was learning what to say and where to say it.

It really surprised him. Not one woman had been able to tame him, not since he’d be fucking everyone in sight. His desire was endless and not one single individual would be enough for his fill.

Then, he found you drunk and sobbing on the concrete, right outside of the bar he was exiting. To this day, he still couldn’t tell you why he stopped for you. He never really paid attention to anyone if it wasn’t to his own benefit. Ultimately, meeting you was, even if he wouldn’t realize it then.

You flinched from his touch when he patted your shoulder, gently asking if you were alright. If anyone asked him, Ransom would surely deny he felt you pull at the strings of his heart in an instant.

He just knew.

Maybe it’s why it took him so long to accept it, to believe in what he felt for you. Definitely not because you did nothing but be the most wonderful human he’d ever met. More had to do with him.

Ransom dropped you off the first night you met in your small apartment downtown, definitely on the rougher side where he thought his Rolex sporting his wrist may get stolen.

A cute little thing like you living in a neighborhood like this — didn’t make much sense to him. Then again, it certainly checked out with his privilege why he didn’t.

Truly, Ransom didn’t realize how fortunate he truly was. Of course being a trust fund brat gave him the ignorance to live in an unmatched state of bliss.

He still remembers the moment.

Watching as you fumbled with your keys, finding it more than difficult to open your front door. It was cute, with your tongue poking out between your lips in concentration. Now, he wondered how he’d forgotten why he’d gone to get hammered at the bar in the first place.

“Here, let me help.” New to Ransom, he offered a giving hand. Grabbing the key from your jittering fingertips before unlocking your door. He tried to hand you back your keys, but you pulled him so close, your chest touching his own. Dragging two rapid hearts through your apartment.

“You smell like him.” A dopey smile on your face lighting every dark sight of Ransom, not that you’d know it did. “I smell like who?”

“My ex-boyfriend.” Your hands cupping his cheek, but you were too drunk to realize how Ransom flinched from your touch.

He didn’t push you away either.

“But he definitely didn’t look this good.” Defying all laws of his own nature, Ransom let you stay in close proximity to him as you felt him up. Your hand resting on his chest, traveling lower stopping at his stomach. “Definitely didn’t feel this good.”

He watched as you sighed, your puffy eyes were only slightly swollen and the mascara was still staining your skin with the rest of the makeup you wore. If anyone had asked him, you’d looked like a wreck but he still found you alluring.

Ransom always liked his women looking more than fucked out, usually from gagging around his cock. Not crying over a broken heart. Nope. He definitely did not like dealing with a woman's sorrow.

“He never let me touch him though. Guess that should have tipped me off.” You let your hands travel back up, wounding themselves around his neck before they applied more pressure — pulling him into you.

Ransom found you pretty confident for not even knowing anything more than his first name and the car he drove you in. You were definitely craving attention and maybe he’d be more than happy to oblige but the little voice in his head Dr. Shoal told him to listen to was being a pestering, little bitch.

What did Ransom want?

Right now he wanted to drown himself in some sweet ass pussy. He knew you would give yourself easily to him, especially in your drunken state. Clinging onto him like he was a vine.

The smaller part of him, the better part, knew you were drunk out of your mind. Absolutely plastered, but you had to stand there looking like a goddess.

He didn’t really know why he was letting you touch him, maybe in hopes the deeper, darker side of him would win like it always did. Ransom knew better, even if he tried to hide it from everyone including himself.

He liked you. From the very first moment, he knew he’d have to get you. Whether it cost your own sanity or his, Ransom didn’t care.

It’s why he left you drunk and alone, safely tucked into the comfort of your sheets with his number left in your phone. Even taking the liberty of texting himself from it.

He could never be too careful. Letting you slip through his fingers was simply not an option.

Thanks to him, you didn’t forget about him.

The next morning your memory only held vague images of a handsome stranger helping you home, thankfully he seemed to be nothing more than a doting gentlemen. The first for you to ever come across.

Until later in the afternoon the following day, Ransom introduced himself and checked up on you, worming his presence into your life.

Then he kept talking to you everyday, surprising even himself in the matter. Truly, he couldn’t help it. Part of him loved how gently you spoke to him on the phone. No one ever talked to him with such a level of care.

He always warranted yelling, usually he was the one who stirred the pot. He enjoyed it, and thrived in a chaotic environment. It’s what he grew up in. Ransom was more than comfortable with his own family yelling and cursing him out until the sun came up. He did just the same.

So, whenever you sweetly asked him how he was, it threw him off guard.

Not a single soul even cared or bothered to ask him anything. Truth be told, Ransom was a sack of shit treating everyone like they were the gum beneath his shoe. It didn’t matter who talked to him — Ransom was simply more superior in every conceivable way.

He would succumb to not a single soul. Paving his own way through life, with only the money from his trust fund of course.

Then the two of you fell into each other and he could pinpoint the exact moment he did.

The weeks and months blended together. He couldn’t really tell you why he was still lingering around, while he got nothing in return. You did get him off once or twice, but he wasn’t fucking you like he really wanted to.

Maybe it was the innocence in your eyes pulling his soul into the very little good he still had left within him. Or maybe it was the way your thumb dragged over his cheek when you thought he was in slumber, blissfully unaware of your touch.

More importantly his favorite thing, the way you let him hold you when the two of you cuddled. Your arms wrapped tightly around his waist, bouncy cheeks pressed into whatever knit sweater he decided to wear that day.

It was all the little things, unknowingly making him fall in deep like he never had before.

Unwelcoming to him, his mother came barreling in one Sunday afternoon, while you slept in his arms. Even as Linda screamed his name, you never jolted, out like a log. Safe in the peace he kept you in.

Linda looked annoyed, irritated he even had company in the first place but not surprised. What truly shocked her was they both had clothes on. Not truly believing Ransom was capable of such a sinless interaction.

He knew what she wanted; he didn’t even have to move from his position to continue a private conversation. Not that it would get him off the couch, and out of your embrace in the first place.

“I said no. Don’t know why you bothered coming here.” Linda angrily sighed. “You should at least show up.”

Ransom didn’t notice, but subconsciously continued to run his fingertips up and down your spine. Linda did. She noticed that he didn’t even care she was judging him, but let you remain unbothered sleeping in her son’s embrace.

“It’s for Walt. You need to be there.” She stepped closer, hoping the increase in her volume would wake you. “I expect you to grace us with your wonderful presence as does the rest of the family.”

The sarcasm dripped, attempting to coax him out of the four walls he never seemed to leave. Not recently, anyhow.

“I already told you, I can’t.” Now Ransom was irritated and he really wished she would calm the fuck down. It was one day, one event. There would always be another, that much wasn’t lost on him. “I have plans. Send him my best.”

Assuming it was the rumbling of his chest when he spoke, you moved jolting yourself in his arms, before remaining still again. His heartbeat continues to soothe you.

“You have plans? What else could be more important than your family?” The louder Linda’s voice grew the more you stirred, pissing him off.

He really needed to change his locks.

Even if he had no intention of going, he needed his mother to leave. Really for your own sake — trying to save you from Linda giving you a cold shoulder followed with a third degree burn.

“Fine. I’ll go. Can you just leave?” She accepted Ransom’s submission, before looking at your figure. Sound asleep and clinging to her one and only, sinking your claws into him.

She really didn’t like the way Ransom was looking at you. Linda was positive he would never be able to care about someone other than himself, but here he was, holding you close to his chest.

Almost like his life depended on it.

“Who is she to you?” With a raised eyebrow, eyes narrowing to you before meeting back with Ransom’s cerulean blues.

“I don’t know yet.” Ransom paused looking down at you, so beautiful. Holding a light so pure, so radiant; he hoped no matter how cruel he could be, he’d never act like that towards you. “Maybe someone I don’t deserve, but want to be better for.”

His rough, calloused fingers drawing mindless patterns on the exposed skin of your waist. He didn’t know what Linda said next or when she left.

Time seemed to stand still, his confession hitting his chest fiercely. He let himself sit with it for a moment, before you woke up. Enjoying a moment where he didn’t have to deal with anything, he didn’t have to say a word.

He could just enjoy the moment without eyes judging him or you questioning why his eyes seemed to shine just a bit brighter whenever you were around.

It was the first of many. Moments where he felt small pieces of himself chipped away into your care. Planes of existences within him no one had ever scratched the surface of.

Much like right now as you cried into his chest, begging for mercy.

Because you were afraid. Terrified you had made the worst mistake, an unforgivable one. You lied about your past and to Ransom it felt like more than a betrayal. More accurately he felt a dagger in his heart placed strategically with your murderous hands.

He’d never felt such empathy and pain at once. Maybe he’d never been empathetic a day in his life at all.

Until now.

To make matters worse, he knew his entire family was watching the whole scene from the window. It wasn’t from worry or concern for either one of you. Mainly all of them enjoying pain being inflicted on Ransom.

Linda of course wallowing in her ego, he could practically see her bask in her own pride. Another thing she’d been right about checked off the list.

The rest of the family watched the two of you fight with shiteating grins permanently stamped on their face. They’d never seen Ransom care about anyone but you. To watch the relationship he held so close to his heart blow up so publicly, only fueled the fire to Ransom’s rage.

Except Harlan.

Even through his hot, beating anger Ransom was trying his best to comfort you. To calm you down even if you had been the one to be caught red handed. Harlan couldn’t believe it, someone Ransom seemed to care about more than himself.

More than any of his family. Not that Harlan was offended. Well, maybe a little, but more so he was thrilled his grandson finally found someone he had to grow up for. Someone he had to earn, not buy.

No bribes. No schemes. No games.

Just you.

“Hugh, please talk to me.” How could he? It’s not like he had much to say. Maybe he did, he just wasn’t sure how to get the words out without hurting you or himself.

“I know I lied and I fucked up, but please — we need to talk about it.” Soft hands reaching for his own, but he brushed them off, his hands snaked higher on your waist. “We should have talked about this the moment you met me.”

Dead silence is all you were met with as he walked the fine line of pushing you away, leaving you behind and pulling you closer than he ever had.

“You’re right. I should have told you the truth but can you blame me?” He met you with solemn eyes and his own heart beating rapidly. “Yes I can.” Ransom was trying to act cold and distant but the two windows to his soul told a different story.

“That’s fair.” Even as he was holding you, Ransom still felt like he was a galaxy away. He was withholding himself from you like a turtle retracting into their own protection. A year ago, before he met you, he knew he would have never even recognized it.

Now, you made it possible for him to be aware of just how much he had changed. He broke old habits of his own just to please you so when you disappointed him, this unreachable high standard he held you to, it shattered his sense of self.

“Did you still love him?” Ransom questioned you. “I did. At the time, he’s all I ever really knew. I thought that’s what love felt like. The only image of love I had was the one he gave me. So, I ran with him and it crushed me.”

Ransom had to pretend the words you were speaking didn’t split him into you two. The image of you falling in love with someone else was enough to make him wanna strangle your ex.

His friend.

“Then we just got into one really big blow out. Right in the bar in front of all of his friends I had met for the first time that night.” You reached for a chunk of his sweater, clenching the material in your hand, like you were trying to convince yourself to let the words fall from your mouth.

“He told me how much I’d been irritating him and I couldn’t help but notice every girl he flirted with and touched right in front of me.” You tested the waters, placing both of your hands over his chest, the beat of his heart calming you down.

“Then I just cracked. It was only one of the many fights we’d been having over the course of the past few months. Everyone single argument pushed me closer to the edge, until the last one actually did.” You sighed, watching as he frowned.

“I ended things that night, before getting thoroughly plastered and soon enough crying on the cement. Wasted and lonely out of my mind, until I met you.” You moved your hand from his heart, cupping his clean shaven face.

“You made me realize I never knew what love really meant or felt like.” This piqued Ransom’s interest.

You said love.

Could a tragedy bring out the words Ransom craved to hear more than anything in the world?

Maybe you cared about him, more than anyone ever showed him. But loved him? How could someone be as hateful as him be worthy of someone like you?

Even if you had broken his heart, he’d done far worse to more people than he could count. He wasn’t really in a place to judge but it didn’t change the fact it still hurt. A lot.

“Hugh.” You heard him gulp rather loudly. “Yes?” His tone came out as more of a question than a response.

The silence he gifted you was unsettling at the very least. “You've barely said a word.” He was surprised he didn’t scurry off in his beamer the second he saw the guilt reach your eyes.

He was surprised he hadn’t let his anger take over and let the rage he felt inside body take it all out on you.

He was surprised he somehow couldn’t inflict a single hateful word towards you, even as you sat with his heart in your hands.

In pure bliss of just how much you owned him.

“I hate it. This fucking corner you’ve back me into. Not to mention for the prying eyes of my entire family to watch the show.” The sharp tone he uses sensoring you. “You used me just to get back at him.”

“Like I was some pawn in your game and I really even shouldn’t be mad.” He paused, trying to choose his words as carefully as he can. “I’ve done the same thing to so many different women. Used them and threw them out at my earliest inconvenience.” To your surprise, even Ransom’s, a single tear left his eye showing you how much you really meant to him.

You hated yourself for letting it get to this point.

“But you? I could never even think about hurting you. I could never live with myself if I treated you like everyone else because you’re so much more than that to me.” The tears continued to roll. The dame Ransom kept shut his entire life, opened because of you and he just wanted to make it stop.

He would give anything — even you.

He just wanted to not feel like a piece of shit for once in his life. For a moment, he thought he might have a chance to be something more than the picture he portrayed in everyone’s mind. You showed him maybe it was more complex than it seemed.

“I just assumed I was that for you.” You sighed in frustration, softly wiping his tears away. “You are, though. You are more than that.”

“Then how could you be so okay with lying to me?” The crease between his eyebrows only created more of an indention as he felt the anger trying to escape out of him.

You let the tension get to you first.

“Because I-I was scared if I told you the truth, you’d never tell me.” You puzzled him once again. You softly reach up between his furrowed eyebrows, the pad of your thumb smoothing it out.

“Tell you what?” His mind was clouded with the possibilities of what he could have missed.

“I can’t spell this one out for you.” You were tired of being the one to do everything first. Even if your intentions weren’t free from fault once you realized who he was, your feelings for him were anything but.

“I don’t know what you want from me. You only let me fall for you because you knew how much it would hurt him.” He bit back, growing impatient and tired. “Any other time, I would have cared. Probably would have been more than happy to assist. But you made me-”

Then Ransom cut himself off, jumping out of the swing and away from you.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I thought I could.” He literally sprinted to his beamer, but you chased him.

You were hell bent and just as crazy as he was. Maybe it’s why it worked for as long as it did.

“Hugh! Get back here.” You were running, thankful you’d gone for a more casual outfit today, the sneakers supporting your feet far better than the heels you’d usually wear.

Maybe if it was someone with a normal childhood upbringing you would have just cut your losses but this was someone who chose to be called Ransom.

This was someone who chose to run away from love and care because the only affectionate way he knew how to treat someone was to throw money at them.

This was someone who had the communication of a ten year old because that’s when his own mother didn’t bother to mess with him anymore before sending him off to boarding school.

This was someone who didn’t know how to love — and to be loved.

By the time you caught up to him his was digging for his keys, but he couldn’t fucking find them.

“Hugh Ransom Drysdale.” Your tone was sharp and he knew you meant business. “For once in your life, stop running away.”

“Why not? What good has it ever done for me to stay?” His back was facing you, his broad shoulders stilled with the rest of his body. Almost like he was ashamed of what he was hiding.

“I can’t speak for everyone else. I can’t speak for your mother or for Richard. For Harlan or for anyone else you thought might abandon you and really did.” You inched you way closer until you knew he felt how close you were to him.

“I can only speak for me.” Giving yourself, the final piece of you to a man who might run away from it.

You were so close he felt your breath on his back, and it made him tremble. He was shaking, terrified of it all. You didn’t let him be for long.

Intertwining your fingers with his, as he kept them at his sides, rubbing your thumb along the palm of his hand.

“I’m sorry for the way I hurt you. Lied to you. You never deserved it. Never.” You thought it would be easier if he didn’t have to look at you while pouring your heart out to him. A theory proved to be right as he gave your hand a squeeze.

“You’ve done nothing but treat me like a princess. You’ve done right by me, more than anyone else I’ve ever met in my life. It made me feel inadequate. My dark secret, always looming over us like a dark cloud of my own personal doing.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t done the proper thing by us and made you feel like I used you. You had every right to feel it because I did.” You took a deep breath, mustering up the courage to face whatever the future held for the two of you.

“I never expected to fall in love with a trust fund, playboy brat.” You felt him take a deep breath, like a breath he’d be holding all his life could finally be set free.

“I love you, Hugh.” The next thing you knew he had you pushed up against the car, lips hungrily attacking your own.

All forgiven because you love him. You actually were in love with him.

He couldn’t fathom it really because you’d been the first. To accept him just as he was. The first to refuse to call him Ransom because you like the way Hugh rolled off your tongue better.

You liked how he felt on your tongue, too.

The first to tell him Fran and Marta should call him Hugh because you wanted to be the only one who got to. The first woman to cook for him, willingly and not attached to the Thrombey payroll.

The first woman he had ever fallen in love with.

The first one he’d stick around and not run away for.

So, he kissed you. Hard. Softly whispering how much he loved you into the kiss, because maybe he wasn’t ready to say it outright. Loud and proud.

Yet, he felt it with every bone of his body — no longer lost in the blues.

taglist: @tonystankschild @parkastoria @tinylumpiaa @brattycherubwrites

#im so anxious to post this #bc i dont really love it but.......#here we go folks.#i rewrote it too many times sksksk 💀#not doing it again #ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale smut #ransom drysdale fluff #ransom drysdale fic #ransom drysdale one shot #ransom drysdale fanfiction #chris evans #chris evans x reader #m.writes

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thegreenmetblue · 3 years ago

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STARKER FESTIVAL SUMMER BINGO : 9th square

hurt/comfort

read on ao3

im gifting this one to @itfeelssogoodmrstark because 1. gift day 🙈, 2. you’re being the sweetest with me when i get anxiety and it does help me 🥺 and 3. you always give me the motivation to write 🥰, love you sm luna ❤️❤️

tw : anxiety, heart palpitations and panic attack

My Heart Is Yours, So Hold Me Forever

My Heart Is Yours

“Boss, I have to inform you that the boy’s heart is beating faster than usual.”, FRIDAY alerts Tony while he’s working in the lab. Tony stops, the boy ?

“Fri, are you talking about Peter ?”, he asks, frowning. Why is his AI calling Peter ‘the boy’? “Affirmative, Sir.”, his creation answers. Tony tries not to start to worry.

“Is he patrolling or doing any exercices ?”, the man asks, still trying to not panic yet. Is Peter in danger ? Where he is ? He’s supposed to be at school at this hour of the day. He shouldn’t be patrolling. Which would mean he-

“He presently is locked in the bathroom of his high school, Boss. From the vitals Karen just transmitted me, it appears he’s not in danger, but his body shows several signs of panic and anxiety.”, Tony hears her voice echoes in his brain. Shit. What happened ?

In less time that Tony would have taken to even walk to his kitchen, he’s in the suit flying to Peter’s school. He tries not to let his heart race too much. Peter’s probably having a panic attack or something. He can’t allow himself to have one too. Not right now.

Tony doesn’t even care that people could see him almost running in a high school. He just cares about Peter.

When he opens the boys’s toilets’s door, the first thing he hears is small sniffles. “Pete?”, he says softly, not to scare the poor thing. Tony hears the boy’s breath stopping suddenly.

“Mr- Mr. Stark ? Is that you ?”, a small cracking voice asks. He’s been crying. Tony closes the first door and completely enters the bathroom. “Yeah it’s me kiddo.”, the man answers in an almost whisper, still trying to sound like he’s not worried.

“What… What are you- ? Why are you here ?”, Peter whines, almost like he’s gonna cry again, he’s a bit breathless. So Tony was right, was Peter having a panic attack ?

“Please I’d like better not to talk to an orange school door toilet, Pete. Get out of there.”, Tony says and as soon as he hears a small sob, he realizes he’s being a bit harsh. Shit. He has to control his damn worry.

“Im sorry, kid. Fri alerted me you were panicking. What happened Peter ?”, he finally questions, trying not to stress the boy. There’s no direct answer, but another sniffing. Tony doesn’t push it. He wants to, but he doesn’t. He gives Peter enough time to speak.

“I- I don’t really know… I.. my heart is- just beating so fast right now, and my stomach is so clenched and I feel like I can’t breathe.”, Peter explains after a few seconds, Tony hears the trembling in his voice, he wonders if it’s because of his heart beating fast or because he cried.

“It’s alright, Peter… Hey, can you get out of there for me please ?” There’s another silence, Peter’s breath is louder, shakier. Tony’s shoulders release a bit of their tension when he finally hears the ‘click’ of the door’s lock.

But the view before him almost breaks his heart. Peter’s eyes are red, his cheeks are read too, and he’s literally trembling, a hand clenching on his shirt just where his heart is at. And Tony just wants to hug him and never let go. Fuck, when did he become that protective with Peter ? He’s seen people in so much worse state. And yet, his protection instinct never were that strong.

“Sweetheart…”, he lets slip. It only adds more tears to Peter’s eyes. “Im sorry…”, the boy mumbles, looking down.

“Hey. None of that. Can you tell me what happened ?”, the man asks, still restraining himself to pull Peter close to him. Shit, Stark get a hold on yourself. But again, Peter only seems to have more and more difficulties to breathe.

“Hey, Hey, it’s alright Peter. Breathe for me please ? In and out ? You’re alright buddy, it’s alright.”. Tony’s soft voice seems to work out a bit on Peter. But the hand on his heart is still there. FRIDAY told him Peter’s heartbeats were reaching 160 bpm, which is definitely too fast for someone who’s just standing in a bathroom.

Peter opens his mouth and lets out a shaky breath before speaking. “I don’t know what happened, it- it happens lots those days and I don’t know why, im just getting really anxious and then I feel like I can’t do anything, I get- those, my heart, it’s being like this for no reasons, and it scares me. I feel like Im gonna have a heart attack.”, he explains in one shot, voice still trembling. Tony shushes him. But Peter continues. “And my tummy feels like- clenched and I hear my heart echoing in my whole body right now, it hurts my chest and my back. And-”

“Peter.”, Tony cuts him. “Please, you have to breathe.”

The boy does what Tony asked him to. He’s still trembling. Tony sighs. “Calm down okay ? You’re safe right now.”

“I know Im safe, Mr. Stark! That’s the issues, I don’t know why, and I think- I think you’re making it worse, I don’t know what triggered it, I can’t calm my heart, I feel like it’s gonna explode in my chest.”, Peter blurts out once again. The man tries not to get upset by Peter saying he’s making this worse.

And then Peter’s eyes start to water again. “Im- I think Im having a heart attack Mr. Stark, I can’t- I can’t breathe.”. Tony’s own heart clenches at that. “Shhh, Pete… You’re not having a heart attack, you can breathe, you’re doing perfect right now Sweetheart.”, this one petname was volunteer. Tony hates to admit it, but he damn knows how much those affect Peter. But the boy just seems to get more and more anxious, he’s even starting to get away from Tony, stepping back. Tony stares at the boy’s hand, still clenching hard on his shirt, like he needed to feel how fast his heart was beating.

“Pl-Please, make it stop, I- I left the class without even asking if I could, the teacher is gonna send May something, and it’s worse, you make it worse, Mr. Stark, please.”, Peter starts to full cry now, his body trembling even more. Okay, that’s it. Tony thinks.

“Pete, can I touch you ?”, he still asks, not to startle him even more. Peter doesn’t answer but he nods. “Okay turn around and take your shirt off.”, he orders, voice still soft. That gets a reaction out of Peter.

“What ?”, he says dumbly, he can’t blush because his cheeks are already red but Tony hates that he wished they weren’t just so he could see the red creeping in the boy’s cheeks at that. And then he hates himself, thinking like that when Peter clearly isn’t feeling okay.

“Do what I say, Pete, Im not gonna do anything, I promise.”, he tries to reassure the boy. God, he knows how that sounds.

Peter stays silent for a little while and then actually does take his shirt off. In front of Tony, before turning away from him. Tony tries not to stare. He’s being the worst right now., but then Peter actually turns around and facing the boy’s back makes it easier for Tony to remember why he’s doing this.

Peter lets another sobs. “My chest- it burns, I can’t calm it down, why is-”, he starts but Tony cuts him again.

“Shhh, I want you to forget your heart, Pete. You forget your heartbeats and focus on my finger, alright ? Im gonna write words in your back, baby. And the only thing you have to do is to guess the letters, and then the word, okay ? Im sure you already played this game before.”, he explains, still making effort to keep his voice soft and reassuring for Peter.

Tony knows Peter really isn’t in his normal state when he doesn’t hears the awkward response he would have said in a normal situation if Tony said he’d draw letters on his bare back. The only thing he gets is Peter nodding again and whispering a small, shaky ‘Kay.’.

Tony puts a hand on the boy’s shoulder, to ground him. And then, with his second hand, he draw a ‘W’ on Peter’s back. He sees Peter’s skin shivering but it’s the only thing he gets.

“Pete, what letter did I just draw ?”, he asks, patiently. “Huh.. I- I don’t know.”

“Shhh, it’s okay, Im gonna do it again, okay ? Please focus on my finger on your back.”, Tony whispers before doing another ‘W’ on Peter’s back. He hates how smooth his finger feels against that sweet skin.

“W ?”, Peter asks and Tony smiles, praising a soft ‘yeah that’s good, perfect.’, before drawing an ‘E’.

Peter’s body and breath are still shaky, but the latest doesn’t come out as sobs anymore. This time, he guesses on the first shot. “E.”, he says, voice still sick. Tony hums and draws a ‘B’.

“Are- Are you gonna write webs ?”, the boy asks finally. Tony hides a laugh. “Smart boy. It’s what came to my mind first. But the game is more about focusing on each letter, less about finding the word, Pete. Just focus on the way my finger feels on your back, huh ?”. The man hates how that sounds again. But it’s what Peter has to do, so he nods. He started with a short words on purpose so Peter doesn’t get overwhelmed by the task.

Tony draws a ’S’ and then leaves his hand on Peter’s back. He doesn’t ask if Peter’s heart feels less like it’s gonna explode. Peter has to focus on something else.

“Alright, Im gonna start a new word now okay ?”, Tony prevents. He thanks the lord that it’s classes hours because it’s probably safe from anyone entering the bathroom right now. God- What would it even look like ? Plus, it’d just throw Peter in an even more stressing situation.

Next, Tony goes with ‘P-E-A-C-H’, just because he can smell Peter’s peachy shampoo from there. The boy seems already more calmed down. No more sobs, breath more regular, trembling almost gone. They don’t talk about anything else but the ‘game’, Peter tells letters and words, and Tony praises.

’H-O-N-E-Y’ He’ll be damned, he doesn’t even care.

‘V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N’

Every time Tony starts a new word, he sees Peter’s back shivering. But he doesn’t care, because Peter looks better. Sounds better. He can feel how relaxed the boy starts to be with the hand that’s still on his shoulder.

’S-A-N-D-W-I-C-H’ Peter even laugh, saying that now he’s hungry.

And Tony goes for the last one, because it worked, Peter’s not panicking anymore. ’S-W-E-E-T-H-E-A-R-T’. Yes, two petnames, he’s already damned anyway.

“Sweetheart ?”, Peter says in a weak voice. And it’s the first time he asks a question. Because he’s not searching for approval. He’s asking if the sweetheart is him. Tony decides to ignore that, pretending he didn’t understand and praises him for finding the right word.

“Turn around now, Pete.”, he orders gently. Peter’s eyes aren’t frantic, his mouth isn’t twisted, he still have red cheeks, but Tony guesses it’s because of- anyway. “It… It worked, my heart feels normal again. My stomach too. I… Thank you, Mr. Stark.”, Peter says, hesitantly, looking- looking at Tony with eyes that makes him wanna protect him forever. “I… I liked the- your hand, on my back.”

And it’s too much, Tony can’t help it, without Peter even having any time to realize it, Tony pulls him close in a hug. It takes a second for Peter to wrap his arms against the man too. Tony may be hugging him too tight, he doesn’t care. He just cares about having Peter here, close, safe. They don’t say anything, they just keep hugging like it was the last time they would see each other.

And automatically, Tony’s hand finds his way to Peter’s hair. The sound Peter makes, and tries to hide by sinking his head deeper in Tony’s chest, sends butterflies into Tony’s stomach. Fucking butterflies. What is he ? 12 ?

They stay a bit more like this, Tony petting Peter’s hair, his hand snarling into the boy’s soft curls. It’s like magic. Because it appeases both of them. Peter doesn’t even bother to hide the purrs coming out of his mouth, and Tony- Tony is melting.

It’s lasting too much. Tony’s hand slides into the boy’s neck and he feels Peter’s skin shivering again. Stop., he tells himself. Stop before you cross the damn line, Stark. But fuck, the line is so blur right now.

Fuck, don’t.

With his other hand he tilts Peter’s head up, moving themself just a bit further but now they’re facing each other. Tony closes his eyes. Peter’s cheeks are so red, his eyes are just- begging him to do it. He can’t. He can’t look because he’s about to do the biggest mistake of his whole life, and it’s saying lots.

“Mr. Stark… Please ?”, Peter finally whispers, voice just demanding, his breath caressing the man’s face. Tony’s eyes open on their own.

Fuck it.

And the next thing both of them can understand is that their lips are against each other’s. Tony can’t believe he’s doing this. Peter can’t believe this is happening. But both of them just can’t fight it anymore. Peter’s body suddenly wraps around Tony’s and the man clenches his hands around Peter’s back hard. He wants Peter to be closer, he wants Peter to be safe, he wants Peter to be his, he wants Peter.

It’s sloppy, Peter doesn’t know how to kiss. Tony doesn’t mind. No, it’s a lie, Tony knows he’s Peter’s first kiss and it awakes something dangerously warm inside him.

The small choked noises Peter is doing right now are gonna stay graved in Tony’s memory forever. It’s so good, it feels like liberty and flying. For both of them. It feels like there’s a fire, and both of them are into it, but it’s not a bad burning, it’s a beautiful burning.

And when the kiss stops, for them to breathe, Tony sees the most beautiful thing in the world in front of him. And this beautiful thing is looking at him like he just hung the moon.

“I- Im- Oh my god, Im so sorry Mr. Stark, I didn’t want t-”, Peter starts, stuttering and panicking again but Tony puts a finger on his mouth, shushing him immediately.

“Shhh, we don’t want you to have another crisis don’t we ?”, he says. And then there’s a silence. A loud one. Peter looks like he’s about to cry again. Tony has a choice to make. A big one. Two solutions, only one of them is reasonable.

“Let’s move to the compound, Pete. Not sure you’d appreciate one of your teacher seeing you kissing Tony Stark.”, he finally says. Yeah, Tony isn’t really known for making reasonable choices. But when he sees the boy’s face lightning up in front of him, it really doesn’t matter anymore.

So Hold Me Forever

Peter was having a great day. It’s summertime and he, MJ And Ned went to the public swimming pool -yes, he told Tony they wanted to go there and not in the penthouse’s swimming pool-, and now they’re eating in a fast-food. Holidays just started, no more school, no more homework, no more exam, yeah, Peter is definitely having a great day.

The boy was threatening MJ to give him back his fries when he felt his heart clenching hard.

Oh no.

That must have reflected on his face because suddenly, both Ned and MJ are asking him if he’s alright.

“I- I gotta go, guys, sorry, I’ll maybe catch with you later!”, Peter hurries before literally jumping from his seat and rushing out. He knows it’s a lie. He know he definitely won’t come back. Because Tony is having a panic attack right now.

Fuck. If it wasn’t for his spidey sense, he wouldn’t even have known. Meaning that Tony told FRIDAY not to alert him.

“Fuck you Tony…”, he mumbles, already swinging his way back to the compound. In those moments, Peter wished he had an armor like Tony to go faster.

When he finally arrives, he asks FRIDAY to localise Tony and then rushes to the lab. Tony is there, sat on the floor, back against the wall, breathing loudly. That vision makes Peter wanna throw up. He knows he can’t panic, he knows he can’t touch Tony, so he gently crouches in front of him.

“Tony, hey…”, he whispers, just not to startle the man. When their eyes meet, the boy’s jaw clenches because of how scared Tony looks.

“K- Kid, Pe-Pete. Get- Get o-”, the man tries to say, but Peter shushes him. “Stop talking, Im not going anywhere Tony, Im right here.”. Peter tries to control the shakiness in his voice.

He’s mildly happy to see Tony trying to nod. But if the man doesn’t put up a fight for Peter not to see him like this, then it’s that it’s really serious.

“Okay, Tony please I want you to breathe okay ? Can you breathe ? In and out ? In. In, Tony. Breathe please…”, he murmurs despite his state. But Tony doesn’t really show any respond to what he said, he’s not even looking at him. The boy sighs, fighting the tears. Not the fucking time to act like a baby, Parker. And he crabs both of Tony’s wrist.

Tony jumps, and finally locks his eyes into Peter’s. “Pet-Peter…”

“You’re okay, you’re okay Tony. It’s just a panic attack. You know what you have to do when you got those, right ? You gotta breathe. C’mon… No. Keep staring at me, please. Okay now, now-”, but Peter stops himself to take a breath. He hates seeing the man like this. “Now you gotta copy how Im breathing okay ?”, the boy asks. He shouldn’t ask, he should order.

“Honey.”, he says instead, softly. Tony still has his eyes locked into Peter’s. Peter’s still holding both of his wrist. It’s fucking scary to feel how much Tony’s shaking. He’s glad he has his superstrength, because he’s able to maintain Tony. The petname does it because Tony nods again, making a distress sound that clenches Peter’s heart so hard.

“Okay, good Tony, c’mon, like me please.”, Peter whispers before starting to breathe loudly. Calmly, but loudly, so Tony can focus on it enough to try to copy it.

“Don’t let my eyes down, Tony. Please, you always says you love my eyes. So focus on them, please. You can stare and then make fun of me because of that yellow spot I hate okay ?”, he panics a bit. Peter hates that he’s rambling even in time like this. But he just wants Tony to focus only on his face and breathing.

“Can’t-”, Tony starts but cuts himself before speaking again. “Can’t breathe.”, he manages to say. And suddenly, Peter’s lips are on his. It’s not a kiss. It was either that, either a hand on his mouth. But it just looks a bit less frightening than if Peter was stopping Tony from breathing through his mouth.

A few seconds pass before Peter moves back to his initial position. “Keep your mouth shut, Tony.”, he gently orders. “Okay, now Imma ask you the same thing but only breathing through your nose okay ?”

Tony nods again, so Peter starts breathing loudly through his nose. He forces Tony’s hands down and sits completely in front of him. Peter doesn’t even know how he can keep his breathing calm, because he just wanna burst into tears, but he does.

The man finally tries to copy the slow breathing. At first it doesn’t work because Tony’s breathless but they keep going, in silence. Just Peter holding his wrists and keeping eyes contact.

It takes a few minutes but Tony does calm himself a bit. Not enough for it to be done, but enough for practically having the same breathing pace as Peter.

So that’s a step done. Peter feels a bit calmer already. Having Tony like that in front of him is pretty scary. And he’s also always scared he won’t be able to help him. The first time Tony had a panic attack, Peter was so lost he had to call Rhodey.

A few seconds go by, still in a loud-breathing-silence and then Peter gets up. Tony follows his eyes up. “What… What are you doing kid ?”, kid. Tony doesn’t really call him like that anymore -expect for a few times in bed because c’mon that’s kinky-. If he does right now, it’s because he’s still not completely aware of the situation, still panicking. The boy gives him his hand. Tony grabs it without questioning it. And Peter pulls him up, again thanks to his superstrength. “I need you up for this.”, Peter fakes chuckles. He wants his boyfriend to know it’s okay. All of this. “It’s okay.”

And then Tony is up, legs still shaking a bit. “Friday, how’s Tony’s heart doing please ?”, he asks to the AI. “Still going faster than it should for its own good.”, that makes the boy nods.

Peter stares at him and remembers Tony actually asked him for touching permissions when he had heart palpitations. “Are you okay for me to touch you Tony ?”, he questions with a soft smile. “Yeah I am, Pete…”, the man answers, voice half breathless, half joking. And suddenly Peter’s hugging Tony. Hard. Both of their chests are glued together.

Peter hears Tony’s air stops before coming back more as a sigh. He wonders if it’s a good sign. He isn’t even sure if what he’s doing right now is helpful or no. But technically that should work.

Tony passes a hand on the boy’s neck, stroking gently the beginning of his soft curls. Peter shivers. That’s perfect. His own heart needs to be calm for this, Tony is making it calm. Because feeling the man’s one stammering against his chest definitely doesn’t help.

“Im not… Im not sure why the hug, but it does feel good, Pete”, Tony chuckles softly. He tries to act like it’s done. Peter knows it’s not. Their body are clenched against each other, he can feel the trembling everywhere.

“It’s not just a hug, we have to stay like that, okay ? It… It helps.”, Peter mumbles, not so sure he wants to explain to Tony. “What helps ? Hug ? Love ? Im.. Im sure it does, P-Pete, you did good there.”, the man tries to praises him. Peter clenches his teeth. It’s him who should praise Tony for being able to follow what Peter asked.

“You did good actually Tony. Not me. And it’s… not about hug or love. It’s about… about the fact that when two people hug, their hearts are against each other, the skin is the only barrier. And the human heart has this thing you know ? To copy beats. Like with music, when there’s loud beats, the heart tends to- anyway. What I mean is that, your heart is beating really fast right now, too fast. And mine is okay. So when we hug, like this, both of our hearts will try to copy each other’s beat. So yours should go back to a normal pace more quickly than if we just waited for it to. And it’s also nicer. T- To hug, I mean. Than to like… just wait.”, Peter finishes and wants to slaps himself for not being able to not ramble. He knows his cheeks are red and hates that.

But when his eyes go up to meet Tony’s, all he can read here is love. “Sweetheart…”, Tony whispers. But he doesn’t add anything else. However he kisses the top of Peter’s head. Again, it’s gestures that appease both of them.

“Let’s stay like this, then. So your heart can-”, the boy starts but gets cuts by Tony. “Yeah staying like that sounds perfect to me, Honey.”

So they stay. Both of them wouldn’t have any idea of how many time they stayed like this, holding each other, waiting for Tony’s heart to beat at a normal pace again. It seems like forever and just- out of time at the same time. Slowly, their position shifts a bit. Peter watches carefully that both of their hearts are still perfectly against each other, but he lets his head fall against Tony’s shoulder. Tony has his leaned on Peter’s. The man’s hands are on Peter’s hair and the boy’s ones are slowly caressing his back.

It’s finally FRIDAY’s voice who interrupt them. “Boss, your heartbeats seem to have found a slow pace again.”, she says, making them jump at the same time, stirring them out of that headspace they both went to.

Peter steps back a bit and study Tony’s face. There’s no visible signs of panic anymore. “How are you feeling ?”, he can’t help but ask. “Could be better, but could have been way worse if you haven’t showed, Pete.”, Tony smiles, creating butterflies in Peter’s stomach. “Thank you, my babyboy.”, the man adds with a smile, a fondly smile. Peter opens his mouth but nothing goes out. Tony takes his hand and brings them to the couch.

It’s easy. It’s easy to forget what just happened when Tony brings them close, under a pile of blankets on the couch. But Peter doesn’t.

“Tony… What… What happened ? Why did you… What triggered the panic attack ?”, he finally asks. Because he wants to know. Because he worries. Because he loves him. And he wants Tony to share everything with him. The good and the bad. Tony’s first silent answer is to tighten his grip around the boy’s body. Not in a bad way, more in an affectionate way. Peter wants to say ‘You don’t have to tell me.’, not to pressure Tony into saying anything, but he needs to know.

“Let’s say I… St- Rogers sent me a letter.”, Tony tells finally. Without adding anything else. He doesn’t have to. He doesn’t want to either. And that’s where Peter won’t cross the line. He got his answer. He sees Tony’s gaze wandering away and immediately comes up with something to bring him back. “Did you read it ?”, Peter questions, to tell Tony he doesn’t have to explain more. Because Peter knows. Peter knows what happened after his first battle with and against the team. And he knows how it fucked Tony up, he saw how it fucked Tony up.

“No.”, short answer. Message received.

“Okay… Thank you for telling me Tony.”, Peter practically purrs against him, showing that now they can both move on from that. But Tony apparently doesn’t catch it. “Peter, Im sorry you ha-”

“Don’t.”, Peter cuts him almost harshly. Tony shoots him a look. “Don’t say you’re sorry. I hated seeing you like that. But I would have hated it so much more if I wouldn’t have been able to help you Tony. Let me help. I wanna share those things with you. Not just the soft, not just the huh.. sexy stuff, but also this. I don’t want you to hide this part of you from me, Tony. I.. I love you. You. Not you minus your… this. You, entirely.”, Peter almost whines, fighting back the tears again. He expected Tony to shush him orally, but no. Tony leans on and kisses him.

It’s a real kiss this time, not like the one Peter did just to make Tony breathe through his nose. Peter kisses him back. It’s slow, it’s loving, just the kind of kisses both of them need right now. Peter feels so good. When Tony breaks the kiss, still staring at Peter, the smile he got makes the boy wanna bury his head against his chest. “I love you too, Petey Pie. My smart boy…”, he whispers before giving Peter another small smack on his lips.

Then they both go back to lying down, cuddled against each other under the blankets. There’s a comfortable silence. But Peter breaks it again. “If there’s something you should feel sorry about is not alerting me when this happened, Tony. Please… Promise me you will next time. Please.”, he mumbles again, hiding his head in one of the blankets.

The boy hears Tony sighing, a silence, and then “Sorry. Im gonna let you know from now on… Promise, kiddo.”. Peter only raises his head up and kisses Tony’s cheeks.

“How did you know ?”

Shit.

“How did I know what ?”, he tries, dumbly.

“How did you know I was having a panic attack ?”, Tony clarifies. Peter didn’t need him too. He just, feels so stupid for this. It’s like, proving Tony how much everything in him just loves him.

The boy lowers his head down and murmurs a faint “It’s… It’s a huh… spidey sense thing. I kinda can… feel when you… when you’re not okay or stuff.”. Admitting it makes his cheeks turn red again.

But Tony only cups his cheek with his warm hand, raising Peter’s head again so he can look at Tony’s eyes. “Baby… You have no idea what knowing that just did to me. I love you, Peter. My heart is yours.”, the man says in all honesty, feeling way too many emotions at once.

Hearing that almost makes Peter cries. He’s happy. He’s in love. “So hold me forever.”, he whispers before Tony just surrounds him with his own warm body and blankets.

🌙

for @starkerfestivals 😋💖 hope yall enjoyed it, this one is somehow personal because i had the idea to write it after a period where i had a lot of heart palpitations

#starker #tw : panick attack #tw : heart palpitations #tw : anxiety #leah writes sometimes #starkerfestivals #starkerfestivalsevents #starker festival summer bingo #sfsummerbingo21

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h2bakugou · 4 years ago

Note

hi love! can i request an angst to fluff with bakugo? maybe where he cheats and reader catches him. we dont go back to cheaters so maybe kiri and reader end up together and bakugo just regrets. i dont have any specifics in mind so feel free to let this play out however you want! just hurt me.

if this is too much or you dont wanna write this feel free to just ignore it! love you, have a great day!

a/n: hii hun!! ooo this is something i don’t think i’ve done before. i feel like i don’t write really good angst but this is a good prompt so i hope i write it well!! thank you for the request hun!!

summary: you thought things were going good with bakugou until you catch him cheating on you. distraught, you find comfort in the arms of your closest friend, and something blossoms much stronger than before.

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: swearing, fluff, angst, cheating/mentions of cheating, established relationship with bakugou, bakugou’s a dick, kirishima is a real bro of the people and straight up puts his ass on blast

word count: 3.1k (so- i got carried away...god i hope this is good if not im so sorry angst is not my strong suit please-)

;cut for length;

»»————-　★　————-««

It was the day after your three-month anniversary with Bakugou. You’d spent all day together yesterday, and for the most part, everything seemed normal.

Perhaps it was because Bakugou wasn’t texting the girl he’d been secretly hanging out with behind your back all day, or maybe it was because he’d planned to meet up with said girl after you finally left him alone.

Bakugou wasn’t interested in you anymore, but frankly stringing you along for his own benefit was a lot easier. Breaking it off would leave a bad image on his part, and the last thing he wanted was a smudged reputation.

Which was why he kept quiet about this other girl, and only met with her when he was certain he wouldn’t be caught. Sneaking off when everyone went to sleep because they assumed he was asleep.

It didn’t help that they lived fairly close to each other so taking time to leave school meant they could hang out with one another at their homes and suspicious eyes would be none the wiser.

Bakugou had lied to his mother about still being with you and claimed that you’d just moved on and left, making you look like the bad guy. So Mitsuki welcomed this newer girl, and showered her in affection much like she had done with you.

Except you were still with Bakugou. And he’d just told you he loved you again. Kissing the top of your head, seemingly unphased as you yawned, ready for bed.

“Goodnight.” You spoke quietly, wishing Bakugou a good night’s rest as you headed off down to Kirishima’s dorm, where you planned to watch him play a new game he’d recently gotten.

“Hey, Kiri!” You smiled, giving him a big warm hug. Kirishima’s heart ached at the little nickname you’d given him, squeezing and wrenching inside his chest as he smelled your sweet-smelling shampoo, your arms squeezing around him as you hugged him.

“Hey (Y/n), is that a new sweater?” Kirishima asked, smiling as he admired the crimson color.

“It is! I’m glad you noticed. It kinda reminds me of your hair now that I think about it.” You giggle, reaching up to ruffle his soft hair. He’d recently washed it and it currently laid down, unlike his normal hairstyle, his large pointy spikes were nowhere in sight.

Kirishima’s little heart only began to beat faster as you entered his room, sitting beside him as he loaded up the game. Resting your head on his shoulder, you would cheer him on as he played, currently whooping ass against Sero and Kaminari who he was playing with.

“Kaminari asked why you couldn’t come watch him play.” Kirishima chuckled, glancing over at you, noticing how tired you looked.

“Well, maybe I’d go watch him play if he didn’t suck.” You joked, hearing Sero ‘ooh’ over the burn you just slapped over Kaminari.

“Damn Kaminari, they got you good.” Kirishima teased, nudging your side as you giggled, sitting up. You stretched your arms and yawned. Kirishima quickly muted his mic and paused.

“You tired, let me walk you up to your dorm.” Kirishima was ready to tell the boys he’d be back in a few but you shook your head.

“I’ll be alright, keep playing. Kick some more ass for me.” You ruffled his hair once more and patted his head before heading out of his room, waving as he waved back.

You made it back to your room and got ready for bed, nearly falling asleep without realizing you didn’t have your phone.

It’d been maybe three hours, before you rolled over, curious about what time it was when you noticed the blank space on your nightstand, where your phone would usually charge.

Sitting up tiredly, you rubbed your eyes and glanced around. You’d completely lost it, you couldn’t find it anywhere, in your dorm at least. You were unsure if you’d had it when you visited Kirishima, but your only thoughts went to Bakugou.

Maybe you’d left it in his dorm when you visited to study with him. Now that you thought about it, you’d brought your books and stuff back down before he went to bed and you returned to tell him goodnight, but he never let you back inside.

It was dark outside, and completely silent in the dorms. Everyone was clearly asleep. Or so you thought.

Creeping up to Bakugou’s dorm, you were surprised to see a little light peeking under the door. You weren’t one to snoop, but you certainly knew for Bakugou to be up at this hour, something would have to be up, maybe he was sick, or couldn’t sleep?

You pressed your ear to the door and listened for a few seconds.

Those few seconds, time stood still.

“So when are we gonna make it official?” A girl’s voice wrecked through you, your eyes watering as you listened.

“I’m working on it. I just need (Y/n) to fucking leave me alone. All they do is follow me around like a lost fucking puppy, it’s annoying.”

This was not happening. He’d just said he loved me a few hours earlier. Why was he being so mean?

“Good, because I don’t how much longer I can keep this a secret. I need to see you, Katsu.” You wanted to throw up. You felt so sick. So hurt.

So betrayed.

You were overwhelmed with emotions, sadness, despair, hurt, anger.

Raising a fist, you pounded on that door like your life was in danger. You could hear a few whispers and footsteps as Bakugou quickly opened the door, surprised to see you. You barged in, shooting one glance at the girl sitting on his bed in one of his shirts, the same one you’d worn earlier that week.

You found your phone laying under a few papers on his dresser. You turned to see Bakugou just staring at you.

“Hey-”

“Don’t” You say quietly as you speed-walk past him and back down the hall. Bakugou doesn’t follow you, or try to stop you, or call out for you.

He slinks back into his dorm and resumes his time with his new girl, taking that as his sign that he was officially single.

Clenching your phone in one shaking hand, you can’t help but feel utterly worthless. And somehow your feet seemed to move on their own, right down to Kirishima’s dorm.

When you felt the door open, and heard a sleepy Kirishima ask if everything was okay, you finally realized you’d trekked down to his dorm without even realizing.

“N-no. It’s not okay, I’m not okay.” You whisper as he pulls you into him for a hug. He stands there, consoling you quietly, not even saying anything. Just rubbing your back as you sob into his shoulder.

He’s concerned, that’s evident by the way his expression is softened, and his eyebrows knit together, wondering just what had happened to have landed you here.

But as he finally pulls you back into his room, the only light coming from a pink and orange glowing Himalayan salt lamp. You’re shaking in his arms as you sink to the floor.

It’s the first time Kirishima’s ever seen you like this.

So hurt.

“You don’t have to say anything, but I’m worried about you. You tell me when you’re ready okay? Do you need anything right now?” Kirishima’s spoke quietly, and softly, his large, rough hands for once being so gentle and delicate.

You sat and thought for a few minutes, just shaking in his arms as you tried to calm down. You were overwhelmed, too anxious about what had happened, if you weren’t enough for Bakugou.

But you finally spoke up, breaking the silence that had fallen over the two of you.

“I-I’m...” You breathed, finally looking up at Kirishima. You could feel the snot as it leaked from your nose and how wet your cheeks, chin, and neck were, but Kirishima didn’t look at you any differently.

With red puffy eyes you glanced down and opened your mouth to speak.

“Bakugou, he was, I think...” You paused.

I saw what I saw. I heard her. That girl. He was cheating.

“Bakugou cheated on me.” You whimpered, more tears beginning to fall from your eyes. Your face fell back into Kirishima’s shoulder as your frame shook from pure despair.

Kirishima didn’t respond. He sat, his hands rubbing up and down your spine as you cried, anger boiling inside him.

Never, not even once, had he assumed, or even pondered that Bakugou would ever be unfaithful. His priorities of being on top seemed to overweigh everything else.

So when he’d started dating you, he was albeit a bit jealous, but he supported you and Bakugou’s relationship, despite wanting to be with you himself. But soon he realized you were taken by someone else, and he would respect that.

He changed his usual somewhat flirty comments, and kept things strictly friendly, but he couldn’t help but notice you still made his heart race.

But Bakugou, cheating? That was something he didn’t see coming. But regardless if it was shocking or not, it wasn’t right.

Kirishima didn’t agree with his actions at all, and seeing just how hurt you had been by his actions, it made him feel even angrier.

“Kirishima, I-I don’t know what to do. I thought he loved me. Why didn’t he love me?” You looked at him with tears pouring from your eyes. Broken sobs cracked from your wet lips, and Kirishima’s heart shattered.

Kirishima closed his eyes and placed a hand behind your head, nuzzling your face into his chest as he leaned into you, burying his own face into your shoulder.

“He’s an idiot. It’s gonna be alright. I promise.” Kirishima hushed you quietly, rocking you back and forth in his hold as you finally began to calm down, eventually falling asleep as he came to halt.

Reaching for a blanket, Kirishima wrapped it around you and held you tightly against him. His blood boiled inside him as he began to doze off himself.

“You are so amazing, please don’t let anyone tell you differently.” Kirishima whispered against your hair, resting his own eyes.

As time drained on during everyone’s slumber, a storm was brewing within Kirishima.

Waking in the morning, you awoke in Kirishima’s arms, just where you remembered falling asleep. You nudged him awake but that usual morning smile you wore whenever you’d see him in the common area for breakfast was no where in sight.

“Good morning.” You spoke quietly. It was awkward. But Kirishima quickly ruffled your hair.

“Bed head.” Kirishima pointed out, smiling at the disarray of your locks. You quickly turned away to try and fix what he was talking about.

“Hey relax, it’s okay.” Kirishima chuckled.

“I’m sorry for waking-”

“Don’t apologize. We’re gonna get through this together okay? I’m here to help however you need me too. Do you want me to walk with you to school?” Kirishima offered, helping you stand up as you both began to wake up.

“I think that would be nice. Thank you.” You can’t help but stare at the ground, feeling like a burden. You’d roped Kirishima in with your problems and now-

“I’m really sorry that Bakugou did that. It’s unmanly as hell. If he was unhappy he should’ve talked to you about it, going behind your back was straight up fucking idiotic.” Kirishima’s words sort of spilled out, immediately catching your attention.

“I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s okay. I agree with you. If he was upset or unhappy, I just wish he would’ve told me.” Your bottom lip quivers as you speak about it, the memories flashing through your mind of seeing that girl on his bed, him talking about you like you weren’t even together.

About how he despised you.

“Go get ready for class, I’ll meet you by the stairs in ten?” Kirishima was already pulling out his uniform and removing his shirt as you headed toward the door.

You nodded and left quickly, running to your room avoiding being seen. And just as he’d stated, you met up by the steps in ten minutes and headed downstairs.

And there he was, waiting, like nothing had happened. Kirishima’s hand shot to yours, holding it tightly as you walked in the opposite direction. He lead you through the back doors and outside where you took a deep breath of the crisp morning air.

“It’s gonna be difficult, but try not to think about him. Every time you find yourself drifting back to him, try and replace it with something that makes you happy, like uh braiding my hair! Or making paper airplanes with Kaminari and how you beat him every time.” Kirishima laughs, lifting your chin up with his thumb and forefinger.

“He did a really scummy thing, and it hurts, I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I’m gonna help however I can, and however you need me too.” Kirishima’s support was flooding your system. Your heart felt warm, despite feeling broken and cold hours earlier.

You didn’t thank him verbally, instead you threw your arms around his shoulders, hugging him tightly, smiling.

Kirishima hugged you back and smiled. He missed your smile.

Days turned into weeks, and things had slowly gone back to normal. You smiled more often. You informed Kaminari and Sero about your split from Bakugou, and eventually told most your friends, but not in detail.

However, Kirishima stayed by your side the most. And as you healed, you realized how much Kirishima had been there for you through all of it. And how maybe you had possibly got tied into things too fast with Bakugou.

While a part of you did love Bakugou during your time together, now you were beginning to realize how you really felt for Kirishima, a flame that had begun to burn long before you and Bakugou had been together.

But it seemed as you healed, and began to move on, finding your own happiness outside of Bakugou and the way he had treated you, Bakugou began to miss you.

Missing the way you’d kiss him, or hug him before bed. Missing the way you left his shirts smelling like you. Or the way you would always write little love notes on his study sheets.

Seeing you spend more time with Kirishima, seeing you so genuinely happy, the kind of happy you seemed to be when you used to be with him, made him mad. It made him miss you.

And sooner or later, his anger bubbled over and he snapped.

“Aye what the fuck?!” Bakugou shouted, watching as you quickly cowered away from Kirishima as Bakugou approached the two of you.

“You got a problem? We can take this outside if we need to.” Kirishima spoke up, quickly earning most of the ears of your peers.

“Yeah why the fuck you up on them like that?” Bakugou stared at you. Your face contorted in anger as you stepped forward.

“I’m sorry?” You laughed, staring at the blonde who was now your ex-boyfriend.

“You better back the fuck up.” Kirishima commented. Kaminari and Sero quickly stood to aid, positioning themselves on either side of you, positive you could handle yourself against Bakugou, but albeit cautious.

“No. Why’re you all up on them, you fucking got a thing for them? Spit it out shitty-hair.”

“No. You don’t get a fucking say in this. You fucking cheater. Ruining something so fucking special. Do you have any fucking idea how badly you hurt them? You didn’t even care to apologize. You fucking asshole. You don’t get to be upset.” Kirishima snapped. A few gasps from students. Bakugou’s face dropped at Kirishima’s words.

“I-I was just bored! All we ever did was just hang out-but I-”

“You what, Katsuki?” You approached him. You stood right in front of him and shook your head.

“I loved you. I really did, I gave my all to you, I sacrificed time and effort to make you happy because I felt like I was nothing compared to you. I have never felt like I was so below someone while being with them until I was with you. Constantly compared to you, it was fucking awful. You’re a cheating piece of shit. And I’m so sorry that you miss me now because I certainly fucking don’t miss you.” You spoke, your chest heaving as you sighed, turning and pulling Kirishima outside, along with a few others who had sided with you.

Bakugou stood silently, feeling the eyes of everyone on him, judging him as he headed up toward his dorm.

“That was awesome!” Kaminari cheered, patting your shoulder.

“I didn’t know I had that in me.” You smiled, hugging Kirishima. Kirishima stood silently beside you.

“Hey, you okay? Forget about him, it’s over, we won, did you see the look on his face?” You nudged his side. Kirishima groaned and pulled you into him, slamming his lips on yours.

Your eyes widened as he kissed you, but you didn’t fight it. You closed your eyes and melted into the kiss, eventually drawing your arms up over his shoulders, deepening the kiss as he leaned into you more.

Kirishima pulled away and quickly glanced to Kaminari and Sero who’s mouths were formed into small ‘o’s quickly looking away as Kirishima chuckled.

“Woah.” You breathed, smiling as you stared at Kirishima.

“Sorry I have been wanting to do that for a long time.” Kirishima apologized, rubbing the back of his neck. You couldn’t help but laugh.

You leaned up and kissed him again, smiling as he kissed back, your lips moving rhythmically against one another.

Shortly after, Kirishima made sure you were ready for a relationship before asking. Recovery from your previous relationship had gone well, and once you were ready, Kirishima didn’t hesitate to ask. He would’ve waited a lifetime for you.

And Kirishima showed you love, real love. He cherished you, brought you up when you were low, and allowed you to shine, just as you did for him. Supporting him through his highs and his lows, helping him when he needed, and loving him for who he was.

You felt whole, truly happy. The kind of happy you hadn’t felt for a while. And you didn’t think about Bakugou once during it. If you interacted, you were curt, and always handled the situations quickly. You didn’t need to focus on him.

And when you beat him during a test, it only proved you had grown stronger.

Bakugou had lost this battle.

And you were winning by a long shot, with a happy, healthy, relationship with someone who loved you, someone who truly loved you.

And that flame inside you, burning for Kirishima, only grew.

»»————-　★　————-««

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