#im just talking about people who were so upset specifically with the real people who made this show in a way that makes it seem like they've

[coweggomelet]

i'm honestly so curious to know if any of the people criticizing brennan and the intrepid heroes about junior year have played dnd before. cause like, there are things about the season that i was a little disappointed about and things that felt a little random or poorly paced, but that's honestly to be expected when you play dnd. it's not gonna be all amazingly narratively structured or tie up every loose end, even in a game with more time than dimension 20.

literally in every single campaign i've played, the pcs brutally murdered people who didn't deserve it, teenagers included. because the morals are different in dnd. people can do horrible things in game but be kind, caring, wonderful people, because doing things in a game doesn't reflect someone's views or actions in the real world. and dnd as a system does encourage that kind of thing, just brutal murder, and that's a reasonable criticism (that should be talked about) of the way it's built, as are many of the other criticisms about it. but honestly, if you're gonna sit down and watch a dnd show and expect them to do something other than play dnd, you're going to disappoint yourself.

being disappointed about where a season went is completely fine, i'm a little disappointed we didn't see more of lucy, or more of cassandra and kristen's journey with failing her and trying to make up for that, or getting the rat grinders on the bad kids' side before the final fight and having a bunch of fun angsty teen banter while being forced to fight together. but i'm not gonna blame brennan or the intrepid heroes about that because ultimately, they're playing a game. yes, they're making a tv show, but that tv show has the format of a game of 5th edition dungeons & dragons, and therefore it's going to play like a game of dnd 5e. they're going to play the game, and i, personally, wouldn't want them to do anything else.

[majorshatterandhare]

[ID: two screencaps of tags from dark mode

First Image: tags from ×-caliber reading “#guys it's called UNRELIABLE NARRATING all caps: unreliable narrating] # shes NOT [all caps: not] evil #jonny just views her in a certain light" Second Image: tags from ceaseless-ramblerand x-caliber.

Tags from ceaseless-rambler read "#this is such a hard fucking poll because do you love her or hate her' the answer is YES [all caps: yes] #she's great but the fucking morality switch destroys me every time i think about it because. morality switch. what the fuck. #but also. gestures wildly in her direction. you understand? #doctor carmilla #the mechanisms."

Tags from x-caliber read '#prev has a great elaboration actually #bevause i answered thinking only about the unreliable narration that made people think she's evil #but i didn't actually think as far about her ACTIONS [all caps: actions] #now i do think that she had good intentions with the morality switch #that doesn't make it any less fucked up however"

End ID]

Okay in regards to this poll I'm going to do some Doc Carmilla analysis because I don't like having back and forth conversations in tags. This is long, I couldn't really find a way to cut it down

The biggest thing that fucks me up about her is Brian's morality switch. The concept of a morality switch at all is horrifying to me, taking that control away from someone. Brian's about page on the mechanisms website says the reasoning was because Doctor Carmilla found it "amusing" which. Makes me hate it even more. @x-ca1iber pointed out the fact that Jonny is an unreliable narrator, which is a good point. However, I doubt Jonny wrote everyone's bio and I don't think either morality mode would really let Brian lie about it, lying is wrong and I can't come up with ends that would justify it. Brian could be wrong about reasoning, of course, but I'm not sure why he would be. Because a lot of that second half is speculation, *please* let me know if there's anything to agree or disagree with any of it.

The two other things that make me not willing to chalk all of anti-Doctor Carmilla sentiment up to unreliable narration and character misinterpretation are the end of this video and near the end of Lashings. The first video shows Jonny cut the music and, sounding somewhat frantic, ask Carmilla what she's going to do about being thrown out the airlock. When she doesn't respond, he backs away and accuses her of planning something. This is something that isn't attributable to unreliable narration because the premise there isn't that it's a retelling but an actual event occurring. Also, the way Jonny is on edge, expecting her to do something but not knowing what/when and having to just kind of act like it's fine really makes me read it as a bad relationship for him. The end of the Lashings performance shows Nastya stressed about various other things and Doctor Carmilla coming up behind her and hugging her. Nastya visibly tenses and remains as such for the entire interaction. I've seen people argue that this was due to the aforementioned various other things, and it could very much be that! This is definitely my least compelling piece of evidence. But it's worth noting that Doctor Carmilla doesn't back off from the hug and remains sort of in Nastya's face until Nastya steps away. The situation is either Nastya being generally uncomfortable with physical contact at that moment (or in general) and Carmilla not caring, or Nastya being distrustful of her in general. Either way doesn't reflect well on their relationship.

None of this is to say that I think she's trying to cause them harm. She does see them as her kids, in her own way. The only other close relationship she had that I'm aware of is Lorelai (please let me know if you have any more information on this! I'm always open to corrections) and that wasn't exactly healthy. She could very well not know any other way to treat them, and I really do think she meant well. The problem with meaning well is that is doesn't change the ramifications of your actions. The best of intentions don't change the fact that you hurt people. This is, in my opinion, especially prominent in parental figures, which she is.

That is all about her as a person, though. As a character? She's fantastic. Trans lesbian vampire scientist with dubious ethics? Great!!! And all of the things I just talked about that make me dislike her as a person make me love her as a character. That disparity is what makes it really hard to answer the poll I linked at the beginning, because holy fuck morality switch but I love her as a character

Tags that inspired this under the cut

[hurts2think]

hi im the one that sent the red x fem reader request earlier and I was thinking that the reader (cheshire cats daughter) is really mischievous like kitty cheshire from ever after high ?

♥️Red Hearts x Reader♥️

Reader pronouns: She/her

Pairing: Red Hearts x Fem!Reader

Plot: Red wanders off to the heart of wonderland—the forest—and runs into her trickster friend. You're the daughter of the Cheshire Cat and always glad to help a friend feel better.

Word Count: 1.3k

Extra: I didn't have a definite plot for this one so it kind of just wrote itself without any real direction. But two people suggested this so I did it anyway!

Though the kingdom in Wonderland is where most lived—the real heart of Wonderland is the never ending forests. Down cobbled paths that seemed to lead wherever it desired, large trees with twisted trunks surrounded.

Pink, purple, and blue, colors that you’d never see above the rabbit hole in nature. But in Wonderland, any vibrant and unreal color was natural and very real.

Red occasionally found herself walking out this far when she got the chance to sneak away. It was like a completely different world than the castle. Flying spade shaped fish, talking flowers, animals bigger and smaller than they should be, it was something Red loved. She loved the crazy colored mushrooms that danced on the floor and she loved to get away from the tyrannical reign of her mother.

Now you, the daughter of the Cheshire Cat, never had to worry about falling victim to the tyrant that ruled Wonderland. Really, she only ruled part of Wonderland. Wonderland was huge and impossible to control everyone, though the Queen did try. But you and others always managed to slip from her grasp and live your own ways.

Sprawled out on a branch, up high in a tree you sat looking down awaiting for anyone to walk by. Just like the Cheshire before you, you were always playing pranks. Always causing mischief and trouble whenever you could. So stalking out your pray from up high in a tree was how you spent any afternoon.

It didn't take long for you to notice the princess walking down the path with her bright red hair. Red wasn't someone you got to see very often, but she was your favorite person to mess with. She always knew just how to get back at you instead of just taking any prank you threw her way. You always appreciated a good prankster.

As Red walked down the path, she seemed to be a little too distracted to notice the spiraling weeds by her feet. It was just what it sounded like, weeds that spiraled. Specifically latching onto anything that got a little too close.

One wrong step and Red’s ankles were wrapped by the vines and swept off her feet, letting out a grunt as she hit the floor.

You couldn't help but giggle at her fall and annoyed expression.

"Kitty..." Red muttered, eyes darkening after hearing your giggle.

"Oh, hi Red." You grin, lounging in the tree above as she looks up to meet your eyes. "Have a nice trip?"

"Not really." Red grumbled, stomping until the weeds let go of her and she hopped back up to her feet.

You then disappeared, only leaving a trace of your grin before appearing beside Red in just a moment, "Oh my, I wonder who left their spiraling weeds here? They're in such good condition too." You said innocently but your grin was anything but innocent.

"Ha-ha, very funny, kitty." Red said sarcastically, putting her hands on her hips.

You clasped your hands behind your back and tilted your head, the grin never leaving your face, "So, what business does the Princess of Hearts have this time around?"

Red let out a frustrated sigh. It was easy to assume that her mother must've done something yet again to make her upset. That was typically the reason Red said she came out this far. But it was obvious she liked to come see you. You were mad like anyone else in Wonderland, but at least you never judged her.

"Just my mom being the most controlling person ever." She complained, finding a large mushroom to sit on and sulk.

You slid over to sit next to her on the mushroom, tightly sat against her, "Well, she is an evil tyrant." You giggled.

Red looked at you from the corner of her eye. She always tried to act annoyed with you but it was hard. Even if you were very annoying, you were never as bad as anyone else Red was forced to be around. You and Maddox were her only friends and the only people she could bare to be around.

"You know what I bet would cheer you up? Going to the tea house." You suggested.

Red didn't seem entirely thrilled with the idea. But it wouldn't hurt to go, so she shrugged, "Sure. You're paying, right?"

"Anything for my purr-fect princess." Your grinned widened.

"The cat puns will never be funny." Red crossed her arms, raising a brow.

You hopped up from where you were sitting and started rummaging through your pocket. You pulled out various things that definitely shouldn't fit in a pocket. A ruler, a houseplant, a rabbit, and then finally a large paintbrush. "Let's not waste anymore time." You painted a stroke of paint in the air as tall as yourself and a door suddenly appeared.

You opened the door and held it open for Red, she walked in and you followed, leading into the tea shop.

The shop had flying tea cups, stripped walls, and a ceiling so high up you couldn't see it. There wasn't anyone else at the shop currently, there weren't really regulars either. The tea shop moved every couple hours and it's impossible to find. Luckily for you, you didn't have trouble finding things.

You sat at a table and Red sat in front of you. A couple menu's with wings flew by and you both managed to catch one.

"The options are never as good as I remember them." Red declared as she gazed over the menu. She decided on what she wanted and let the menu fly away.

"The kit-tea is always good," you remarked. Though Red seemed unimpressed by the name of the drink.

"I'll just have what I usually get." Red leaned back in her chair, her eyes never leaving yours.

Once you two had both determined what you wanted, a tray flew down on the table with both of your requests. "Hmm? The hipster tea? Must be drank before it's cool? I thought you hated puns." You teased, picking up your tea cup and saucer.

"I do. And I especially hate that pun. But it tastes good." She replied, taking her own and drinking it.

The two of you enjoyed your time drinking your respective drinks. Red would complain about something happening in her life while you responded with riddles that didn't quite make sense with a grin. This was your favorite thing in the world. Even more than pulling any type of mischief, you loved being with Red and listening to her talk and talk about whatever she wants. It was comfortable and filled you with more joy than your body could contain.

Once the two of you were done, you pulled out a wallet to pay. Not your wallet, of course. Why would you actually be the one to pay when Red is a princess?

"Hey! That's my wallet!" Red exclaimed, snatching it from your claws.

"Is it? Not sure how it ended up in my pocket." You grinned mischievously, your hand already managed to swipe a spade from it and paid for your drinks.

Despite just being stolen from, Red chuckled, "It is strange how my wallet just happens to mysteriously appear in your paws." She said sarcastically with a smirk.

"It's a wonder." You leaned forward across the table, your faces almost touching. "I suppose I'm lucky you never do anything about it."

"Hmm... Really? I do expect you to pay me back." Red's smirk grew.

Your grin always somehow managed to grow bigger and bigger everytime, "I'm sure we could arrange something." You teased. Then you leaned in closer for a moment and pecked her on the lips, "How's that for payment?"

Red leaned back and tapped her chin, mock thinking, "I guess it'll do... For now."

"You always never could settle for less, could you?"

The two of you laughed together. Sometimes Wonderland wasn't so bad. Sometimes Red liked it there. And sometimes she found comfort. Even when her friends are just as mad as the land itself.

[simplespacedust]

@dead-catgirl

This message is a reply to a comment that i received on an earlier post, that was too long to put in my notes. the original post is linked here: https://www.tumblr.com/simplespacedust/752572123941355520/hey-so-im-gonna-talk-about-pro-shippers-and-anti?source=share

Hello! You're being respectful in my replies here so let's have a conversation about this! The first comment/point that you made about pro-shipping as an ideology I have already responded to in the most recent post on my blog so if you wanna read what I have there you can check that out.

For the second point about therapy and pro-shipping, I can’t really take your experiences with your personal therapist as a valid point in the argument because I have no proof of that, or any therapist encouraging it as a coping mechanism. But let’s even pretend that we could. In this hypothetical, maybe if a therapist encourages a person to write fictional porn of characters as a way of coping with their trauma, I still don't think they should be posting it on the internet, because I believe that does more harm than good. If you (the general you, not you specifically) REALLY need to write stories about people assaulting minors to cope with the fact that you were assaulted as a minor, then at the very least keep it to yourself. Airing out your personal trauma via south park characters raping each other does not seem like a good idea because it makes you more vulnerable to people on the internet who could use that against you, and it risks doing harm to others.

For the third point that you made, about people who cope by reading or looking at other’s art, is where we have to start looking at a larger picture than one person who wants to get off on minors being raped. The net impact of posting something like that to the internet, while it may make one person temporarily feel better by sending a surge of dopamine to their brain, reading or seeing something like that could severely harm the mental state of others. It's about the net impact and the bigger picture.

In your fourth point about children on the internet being unsupervised, I agree with you that children should not be given free reign over the internet. However, they are. Again, this goes back to the idea of net impact specifically by looking at an argument in a practical sense vs. how it would be in a perfect world. There are tons of unknowing kids who get into this unintentionally every day. I cannot provide proof of this just like you cannot provide proof of what your therapist said, but I knew someone personally who was on social media and got sucked into an online space FULL of pedophiles who would post drawings of children and say revolting things about them. I was the person who had to call my friend’s mom and get them help after their involvement in this. I saw what they were saying to each other, and while I was not traumatized, others that asked me what happened had to stop me mid-way through my description because they couldn't handle how vile it all was. Again, real world implications over ideal world scenarios.

For your fifth point, I don't believe anti=safe in all cases no matter what. Pedophiles are fucking everywhere and it is disgusting, but creating art that indulges that only furthers the issue and creates more spaces on either side for them to slip into. For your sixth point, i am aware that a healthy, stable adult, upon seeing pro-shipper media, will not instantly become brainwashed and wanna fuck kids. But this goes back to the real world vs. idealistic scenario. Kids are bound to see that by nature of the internet, and it doesn't matter at that point. It can and will do harm to them. 

Now, after all the points that you made, you made a rather assumptive point about me personally, saying that I had seen pro-shipper media and gotten upset or triggered by it, and that I was able to tell it was immoral and not get brainwashed by it. I have seen pro-shipper media accidentally. While I did not get triggered by it/have a mental health episode in response to it, I did find it gross. And yes, I can tell that it was immoral and wrong. The problem is about the people younger than me that couldn’t/wouldn’t have the capacity to react the same way.

I have been on the internet for a long time. I know what I am getting into and I know how to handle seeing things that are gross to me. Again, ideal world vs. real world. Kids who see sexual content of a problematic nature are much more likely to not be able to handle what they see properly. Some kids may even become sucked into it and experience trauma of a sexual nature, thus making your coping mechanism create trauma for another person. No coping mechanism should EVER run the risk of traumatizing another person. That is selfish and inconsiderate imo. 

No worries about the essay in my comments, I appreciate you being respectful and organizing a clear argument without calling me offensive names and/or just swearing at me endlessly. This point that I am making actually has very little to do with me. Again, if I see pro-shipper art, I can just scroll and be fine. It's about the people that can’t. It’s fundamentally about empathy and healthy boundaries online, and understanding the impact that things you post can have on other people, mainly children.

[marunalu]

Hi. Many fans disappointed with new chapter. I see many complaining. I am more pissed because of Bakugo.

I am now sure that in next chapter Izuku will be catched by Ochako or sonehow Shigaraki give Izuku OFA back or his original quirk. Dont know.

How do you think DFO will be revealed then Shigaraki and AFO destroyed? Both spirituality and phisicaly.

Well, its no wonder people are upset after that shitfest of a chapter. That propably was the most anticlimactic final bossfight I have ever seen in a manga and after all the talking how izuku wants to safe tomura, dude just dies and izuku is fine with it. He just failed his attempt to save the person he wanted to save the most, but hey I guess the fistbum makes up for it (it does NOT!) Im actually curious how the japanese fanbase reacted to all of that.

I mean, of course hori had to force bakugou in it for a final time. Hes his golden baby boy afterall. Izuku cant do anything without bakugous or other peoples help. He is not allowed to shine on his own in his own fight against the main villain in HIS story. Nope, bakugou needed to help to give the final blow to afo TWICE, because HE is the true VIP of mha! I have actually seen quite a few bakugou fan who were not happy about it. If even his FANS complain about how forced and unnecessary that part was, maybe hori should ask himself if his staning for that one specific character is not going a little bit to far. I mean, seems like we just were all dumb. At the beginning of the story we were told izuku is a useless loser because he cant do anything without the help of others and in the end it turns out it was true. How could we not see that comming? The mc was not allowed to defeat the main villain himself and needs others, espicially his abuser to help him. Wow, what a great message! And the most depressing point is that hori was clearly trying to make that look like a positiv thing. There is one thing I can say for sure. I will never touch any work from hori ever again.

If this was really the conclusion of the final fight, then congratulation hori, you managed to write a more rushed and horrible conclusion for your story, then tite kubo did with bleach (which to be fair was not kubos fault but shonen jumps). Hori did literally EVERY SINGLE character except bakugou dirty and in the end even startet to write against his own established themes in the story.

Regarding dfo: I already mentioned it a few times in the past. Im still positiv dfo is canon BUT I also said I dont think anymore that dfo will end in a satisfying way. Which actually goes against what hori said, that readers wont feel dissapointed when he reveals hisashis true identity. But, right now I dont see how hori plans to manage that even with a twist. Even if lets say the clone theory ends up true (which would be hilarious because I was JOKING when I came up with it), it still would feel like so much wasted potential. And the thing is, while it would make me happy if it turns out true I would still be mad about all the rest hori fucked up which would make it impossible for me to enjoy the dfo reveal. And as much as I love dfo, if it turns out the afo clone theory is true and hisashi is the real afo who gets a happy ending while tomura stays dead and doesnt get one after everything afo did to him and the rest of the lov stay miserable too, I will still give hori the middlefinger. The only way I would be able to enjoy it is if hisashi ends up as the afo clone who choose a different path then his original body. It would still make dfo canon just in a unexpected way and it could be interesting to see in hisashi that afo COULD have been happy if he had choose a similar way.

I dont know, maybe in the end there is really some kind of twist involved. Shonen jump still hasnt announced that mha will end in the next few chapters and normally they do that at least 5-10 chapters before the final chapter. Maybe we are just panicking over nothing and hori has everything planned out perfectly. Maybe there is more to come. We really cant say for sure. There are still some plots who need answers and I cant see how hori wants to conclude everything in just 2 more chapters. On the other side this final arc was horrible rushed, even more horrible written and all in all a big dissapointment and waste of a lot of peoples time.

Who knows maybe thats why there is a break next week. So hori can wait for the reactions of the readers and include whatever twist he may think could work.

[proshippers-against-censorship]

Long ask incoming so i really apologise for that lol.

in my honest opinion yaelokre is going about this incredibly wrong. but the way people have been talking about not only their characters (to be clear im not saying this because of "blah blah they're children" fake morality stuff or whatever lmao im a proshipper myself—but one of the main characters is quite literally meant to represent/be keath themself) but about them themself (sending them rape threats, threatening to draw them having sex with their characters?? I've seen a lot on the internet these past couple days, especially in proship spaces, which is so upsetting to me because I had so much more faith in our community 😭)... All this is incredibly disgusting to watch. and disheartening.

Are they going about this incredibly irresponsibly? Yes! Is it naive for them to expect that no rule 34 is created whatsoever? Yeah, probably! But they did explicitly say they dont want the characters directly representing their own childhood (including one who's basically their own persona) sexualised, much less have it sent directly to them (which it was—that's how we even got to this point, anyway) and going ahead and mocking this boundary directly, and then encouraging people to do it out of spite feels... off to me. dunno. (To be clear i think, once again, their actions are incredibly dumb and irresponsible. They're not justified in doing any of that and im not trying to say they are lol.)

(And, while we're here, there's a difference between gigantic heavily funded capitalist projects like disney, and Some Guy working on one deeply personal thing all by themself for free. Do whatever you want with like. Thousand dollar franchises with no specific human faces behind them, but it feels so weird to tear into someone's passion project theyre making out of love for free. Idk where else in my message this point fits so I'm leaving it here.)

I can't help but be reminded of antis tearing into my own work to "fix" it simply because i was a proshipper. On paper people can do whatever they want with fiction, can't they? Of course—but taking a story i made to cope with my trauma and spitefully twisting it to their own wants for no reason other than because I was a proshipper is still harrassment, still done with malice, and—proship/anti stuff removed—an objectively fucked up and mean fucking thing to do. Artists making shit for free do not owe you anything and that includes not owing you their comfortability with people interacting with their personal projects they are sharing with others (for free!! When they don't have to!!!) in certain ways. The same way they also don't owe you being comfortable with unprompted criticism and whatever else.

The "fiction is fiction" argument doesn't hold up when it starts to hurt real people. They aren't a bad person simply for not wanting their personal project sexualised (which—you could argue "that's not the problem, the problem is how theyre going about handling it it," which i agree with; but there are several posts on this very blog and countless others mocking them entirely for simply wanting their work not sexualised, and several posts encouraging others to make sexual content of their characters out of spite. Im not saying it's sexual harrassment but god it does start to feel like it's somewhere in that realm.) This isn't the first time anything like this has happened in their community, ive been here since the beginning, and in the beginning they were so unbelievably calm and polite about their boundaries and then people started directly dming them nsfw and things spiraled and here we are.

I've used the pottery analogy to explain this before—imagine someone puts a ceramic sculpture down on a table. It belongs to them, and they're very clearly proud of it. You could push it off the table and break it if it makes you happy, you won't even face any real consequences if you do. They'll just be really upset, rightfully so—it's their thing that they physically made. Maybe they even made it as a coping mechanism, only they know for sure. And they ask you to handle it gently if you decide pick it up. There's a billion things you theoretically could do, having now been made aware of this clear boundary, but only two are right—either handling it gently, or simply not picking it up in the first place.

You're a shitty person if you push it off the table. Using excuses like "there are lots of people in this room, someone was going to decide to break it eventually" doesn't suddenly absolve you morally because you are a sentient being, not a mindless robot slaving to statistics. Maybe statistically it was going to get broken eventually, it still doesn't make it right because you chose to break it yourself, directly going against what they asked you to do when handling their property, simply because it made you happy. I know full well you would not purposely damage or otherwise ignore clear boundaries or guidelines when it comes to someone's physical shit in real life. The concept of having boundaries about your own things that you made and own is not new and having to follow others' boundaries is not you being oppressed it's just being a decent human being.

Fictional characters' feelings don't matter more than real peoples'. But your own real person feelings of Mild Disappointment at not being to make porn for something you (evidently) don't even like that much ALSO don't matter more than the creator's massive upset and discomfort at direct representations of them (real person!!!) being sexualised.

TL;DR: yeah it's stupid of them to try to Anne Rice this whole situation. And yes they deserve to be called out for it and face the consequences for their actions. But let's... not treat them like it's so bafflingly unreasonable and evil of them for simply not wanting people to sexualise characters who are meant to be a direct representation of them (real person!!!!) as a child and let's EXTRA not break their boundaries even further. Their actions are stupid, yes. But their desires are like. A perfectly normal thing to want, if a little naive. harrassment is still harrassment. Being spiteful and vicious isn't suddenly okay when you're on the "right side" with the Right Opinions doing it. Being anti-harrassment doesn't only apply to people you like.

This ask isn't meant to come off as hostile or mean or anything so I sincerely apologise if it does. Wishing you the best. I also apologise if anything in this ask reads wrong it's late at night and im recovering from a concussion lol.

Fair enough.

I'm team 'break rules, not boundaries'.

By all means, show their Anne Rice approach is stupid by creating nsfw and properly tagging it and posting it to proper spaces. Fill R34 with that. Create nsfw fanworks on AO3 with proper tags. Go ham. But they clearly don't want to see it, so don't send it to them.

You wouldn't send porn of characters to any other creator without them asking. And you shouldn't be sending rape threats either. That's fucked up.

There's a difference between acting out of spite and acting out of malice, and I won't dispute the fact that some people are taking things quite far and doing the latter.

You can say a rule is dumb without taking steps to directly harm.

[jiraisupportgroup]

hi!! is it so wrong to be a young jirai?

i feel so young in this community and idk what to do.. it feels like if people knew my true age theyd shame me or something. i respect the lifestyle and have felt the most comfort here than ever, but im so scared of people finding out my age and just blocking me

There isn’t anything particularly wrong with being young and in spaces like this - a lot of older people just don’t want to interact with minors for their own comfort (& vice versa). I can’t speak for everyone but there’s a lot of reasons for this. Especially in spaces based around mental health (and even more so with Jirai Kei being a space which isn’t inherently recovery based).

A lot of older landmines will talk about or RB things that are sexual in nature & it can feel kind of weird or gross when people who are much younger interact with posts about that stuff. Some people are also afraid because technically you can get in actual trouble if you’re posting nsfw content and knowing that minors follow you / will see it - although functionally there are hardly ever legal repercussions for this. It can still feel icky.

A lot of older landmines also just have trouble relating to younger landmines - our struggles might be similar but there can also be a lot of differences it really depends on the situation. Like a 20 year old and a 15 year old dealing with even the same issues can look extremely different, and sometimes we just can’t relate. Also the language that we use tends to be a bit different. I notice that it’s much more common for younger people to use more heavily romanticized language when talking about certain issues and a lot of older people can’t really relate because a lot of us are at a point where we’re just so defeated and sick of it. I don’t know how to explain this without giving examples but younger people make certain things look fun and new and exciting and like a thing to do while some of us older people have long past that phase and it’s just like a crushing reality for us at this point. It’s not fun anymore. And seeing people have fun with it can be upsetting for a number of reasons. That’s not specific to minors it’s just kind of a trend I’ve noticed. (I don’t know if I explained that well at all)

Another thing (and idk if this is just me) is that seeing teenagers talk about the same issues we have / had as a teenager is genuinely gut wrenching sometimes. It can be really hard to watch young people go down the same paths we went down and just wanting to scream at them to stop and turn back but knowing there is not a single thing we can do to help them - it can feel extremely disheartening sometimes. Especially on Tumblr bc a lot of us grew up on Tumblr and our illnesses were heavily influenced by the mental health spaces we were in on Tumblr & I mean for me at least I can confidently say that it had a negative impact on my mental health as a teenager and now being older it’s like aaaa fuck I don’t want the vents or things I post being shown to teenagers who could be negatively impacted by it just like I was at their age. Real Catcher in the Rye moment.

& some people just don’t really want to interact with minors. The differences between even 18 year olds and 15 year olds are pretty big. I mean I’m 24 and like I don’t really hang out in real life with people under 19 just kind of naturally - like not in “oh you’re only 18 we can’t hang out” kind of way but we just genuinely tend not to vibe. But again that’s just my personal experience so it’s super different for everyone.

There’s also a lot of minors who don’t want anyone who’s over 18 interacting with them for similar reasons. Often times it’s protection, but a lot of minors find adults annoying or not super relatable, which is just as valid.

Tldr: everyone has different comfort levels. It’s not that you’re doing anything wrong or that people just automatically hate you bc of your age, it’s more so like the difference between teenagers & 20 year olds can be pretty big so sometimes they don’t want to interact with each other.

[osarina]

I JUST GOT AROUND TO READING I, CARRION AND UGH!!

“there’s a lecherous smile on Albatross’s face as he leans against the frame and looks at you, glasses hanging off the bridge of his nose. ‘Damn, if you weren’t the boss’s girl…’” awww stop it you’ll make me blush

THE SCENE W DAZAI FINDING US NOT READY YET “It’s not silly if it has you upset,” kisses on the nape of the neck and then kissing our ankles & buckling our heels >>>>>> “I’m sorry that I’m not a good enough man to do what’s right and let you go.” hey so what if i started violently sobbing. “but if fate brought us together, then far be it from me to deny the one thing in this world that has ever made me happy.” HEY SO WHAT IF I STARTED VIOLENTLY SOBBING.

“Still, he wants to gouge their eyes out.” if my man doesn’t want to gouge out people’s eyes just for looking at me, i don’t want him ‼️‼️

“My, Dazai, possessive, aren’t you?” “Very,” Dazai agrees idly. “Be sure to remember that.” bringing his hand up from your waist to cup your cheek, thumb brushing over your bottom lip as he murmurs, “That’s my girl, always so smart.” blushing giggling kicking my feet twirling my hair

“Fyodor Dostoevsky. A pleasure, truly.” oh no. oh no no no no no. that’s not good.

one more thing, i noticed that you kinda like made up your own characters (which was super cool and really creative btw!!) could you explain how/why you chose the specific authors you did? and i’m assuming you got their group names from something they wrote, any reason you chose those works in particular? (these are the ones i’m talking about: Mishima Yukio of the Sun and Steel, Nabokov’s Pale Flame, Leo Tolstoy’s Three Deaths, Cao Xueqin of the Red Chamber, Kitazawa Michihiro of Fuji Electric)

ty for listening to my ramblings once again ily !!

TUMBLR USER PE4RL-DIVER UGHHHHHH I LOVE YOU WHENEVER I SEE U IN MY NOTIFS IM SO HEART EYES

albatross is truly her no1 fan in this fic and she adores him <3 dazai is so not unsubtly jealous of him whenever she talks to him. gets all side eyed and irritated and then has to hide it whenever she looks at him LOLLLLL meanwhile albatross is just pleased that dazai is no longer an emotionless brick wall with a quick trigger finger

WHEN I TELL U THAT SCENE WAS ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE EVER i actually struggled so much writing it not because it was hard to write just because i was yearning so terrible for him LOLLLLL HAHAHAH

</33333 we all need our own beastzai truly life is so unfair he's so perfect

OMGGGGGGGG actually thats my favorite part of writing series/long one shots. i adore being able to build up new characters and organizations. usually i pull them just from some of my favorite authors/works (i cheated with the one electric company its actually just a real company because i got lazy) BUTTTTT mishima is obviously my go to just because there's lowkey already been reference to him and his works in the series but no mention of him, so he's my favorite to build and explore. and then i dont know why but i always have the russian underground divided by three (tolstoy, dostoevsky, nabokov) and usually in a constant territory struggle. of the two ive built up, nabokov is usually the one i use the most because ive hced that he worked with the previous boss pretty often before things went to shit. but i've actually built tolstoy's organization more than his - the three deaths is led by a triumvirate of tolstoy, gorky, and cheknov who were all contemporaries and had were associated with each other. and actually fun fact, i plan on doing a fic with a reader who takes the place of cheknov as one of the three deaths so we're going to see more from them. cao xueqin wrote one of the 4 great classical novels of chinese literature. my fyozai fic i've also built a new organization for - they're based in italy and are in constant conflict with the clocktower, but i don't wanna give anything away because u shall see when i finally post that

maybe one day ill do a whole little page for the organizations ive built & their references in my fics for u guys to look at if ur interested!!

[mariii1]

░▒▓█ 𝖒𝖊𝖘𝖘𝖆𝖌𝖊𝖘 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖋𝖚𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖊 █▓▒░

1-2-3

4-5-6

Reupload since Tumblr wants to be a pos. I'm unfortunately going to be taking another break after uploading this but let me know what pac you want to see again.

DM me for paid readings

1 - you may be fighting with the people around you a lot or you might be somebody who's combative. You could have anger issues or you just don't know how to deal with anger as an emotion either from yourself or from other people. I see more conflict and a warning that if you dont deal with issues you have now with other people they will get much worse in the future. I see you potentially embarrassing yourself or coming off as irrational to others. I also see someone trying to stab you in the back or take something from you because it either gives them pleasure to see and know that they made you upset or they feel like it's easy to take things from you because they view you as crazy/don't take you seriously. If you're deciding whether or not you should cut someone off because they make you feel emotionally out of balance, do it. I'm getting it's a trauma response; this person knows how to manipulate you. They are a bully, this could be a family member.

2 - Something about a future partner. You'll be freeing yourself from a capitalistic mentality. If you believe in hustle culture, you'll learn the hard way that it's not gonna help you. I see some of you burning out real quick from that. You're not gonna care about money in the future. For a few of you, this obsession with work and money comes from being financially abused whether by a partner for most or by a family member/guardian. I see you not letting money or work ethic define you or be your entire personality for some. If you feel stuck now, it has to do with money. I was getting more rude messages but I feel this comes from people around (they might not be close to you either) who find your mindset annoying and/or they see right through it.

3 - if you have a partner you might break up worth them. You will realize that they were never that good to you. This reminds me of a tiktok where this girl was saying that (to people watching) "he's not special". "He" does normal things and you make it special when it's not. Its the basics of being human, it's how he should've treated you even if you weren't in a relationship. This could be a groomer or some sort of abuser romantically for a lot of you. This could also be someone you put on a pedestal romantically if you don't have a partner. Maybe your crush actually treats you like a piece of shit. This could also apply to those in talking stages in dating apps and such. You're gonna realize someone isn't shit and you only really put them on a pedestal bc you either didn't like yourself or you were bored.

4 - this is a warning for some and others know its gonna happen. There are a few of you planning this on purpose. You might be veryyyy stressed out and over worked in the future. This could result from you not listening to yourself especially if this relates to some sort of decision. If its life altering you will regret it a lot it's just gonna make things harder. Im getting this could have to do with education. There's something you really should have listened to yourself about and it might be too late. My best guess is that if you know what this is, you might even be trying to get out of it currently. This is specific for some people. If you don't get it, it's not for you. This is for people who have been actively trying to block their thoughts and opinions on something out.

5 - ok so you are stopping a cycle if not you will be. However, when you stop, you're going to be stagnant. For a lot of you it can feel like you're stopping the flow of type life in a way. I see you not making any new moves or decisions which will keep you in one place even though you have ended a cycle. It's like you won't find something new or move on to the next thing. I see you being scared of your old cycle repeating or something worse coming your way. I feel this has to do with career or education. It seems you might've felt heavily overworked and not compensated for your work or you didn't get the right outcome so now you just don't want to do anything. Hmm this would be interesting to do a paid reading on.

6 - you're going to give up on presenting as something. In particular, a certain personality. You might have internalizations you're working on, for some of you this has to do with gender transitioning (we're in this together 😭) I see for most that this has to do with again a workplace or just a hostile environment. Maybe in the past you thought that not saying anything and just ignoring ppl would help you, but you see that's not the case. A lot of you had this idea that you needed to be the bigger person or act like ppl weren't worth your time but it was just you not knowing how else to approach conflict. So i see you finally getting someone in trouble with some sort of plan or just speaking your mind in a way that brings action ig. Yeah you might've really hoped to get along with someone but you'll see its just not possible and they refuse to leave you alone.

[thegeminisage]

wow it is star trek update time. last night we watched ds9's "blood oath" and tng's "journey's end," which is one of the strongest quality ricochets we've had yet.

blood oath (ds9):

okay, so the summary said "three klingon legends" but what i didn't realize is that they were all REAL KLINGONS FROM THE ORIGINAL SERIES

i have to pain this picture for you, whoever is reading this. the three klingons in this episode appeared in "errand or mercy" "the trouble with tribbles" and "day of the dove." like, they really came back to reprise their roles almost 30 years later. i'm going to paste a picture but uhtw 60s blackface

now, if you're a tos viewer, you may recognize that fella in the middle as also having played the titular squire of gothos in. "squire of gothos." now, as an episode, i find "squire of gothos" to be pretty mid, but there is one specific scene that really did something for me. to me? it did something TO me. what it did to me was send me off the fucking deep end, i wish i could convey the depths of my madness with human words

(still screenshot grabbed from this infinitely more amazing gifset, give it up for @maulthots for enabling me, no literally please go through her gif tag and reblog her gifs)

anyway, before my good and wonderful friend so kindly made this gifset for me, i did maybe sit in front of my pc and replay the clip upwards of [mumble] times a day because i was very, very unwell. when i watched this scene for the very first time what happened to me in that single instant was the bone-deep realization that james t kirk (tos and aos) ate fascists on tarsus iv, probably, and he'd fucking do it again because nobody tastes better than a fascist! i wrote an entire fanfic about it, sorry for the spoilers.

what does squire of gothos and tarsus iv have to do with ds9? well first of all every star trek episode is secretly about tarsus iv so jot that down

but secondly, i've watched this clip so many times i have to hide my face when this man shows up in trouble with tribbles. now, i'm not so good with faces, but i KNOW THAT VOICE. but i know him AS the squire of gothos. i frequently forget entirely that he also plays a klingon, so i didn't recognize his name. so when i heard the squire of gothos's voice come out of a random klingon's mouth in ds9 my immediate kneejerk reaction was "no i am hearing things that can't be--" BUT IT WAS. i PAUSED the episode so i could look iy up, realized that the guy in the drunk tank was kor or "do you have a tongue you will be taught to use it" fame, and then to my eternal glee, kang shows up next

i remembered reading once that kang came back later and i was like ??? no one comes back later on tos BUT HE DID! I JUST HAD TO WAIT FOR IT!!!!! mystery finally solved...........

once i recognized them this episode was a blast. absolutely loving these 100 year old klingons getting ready for a rip roaring rampage of supercentenarian revenge. i was VERY sad that they died at the end but at least presumably they all died together (didnt see the last one go down but im just assuming he lived long enough to eat the albino's heart and then die)

(the albino is a really funny concept by the way like he's not even albino he's just a white klingon)

other notable things about this episode: firstly, quark hiding behind odo at the beginning. classic. secondly, dax actually being a good fighter ?!?!?! and finally, a true passing of the bechdel test where dax asked kira some alarming and upsetting questions about killing people and kira immediately took her aside and MADE her talk. i love. Women. and also women who murder people. i support womens wrongs.

i even love that the ONE time sisko doesn't back up one of his people it's for a good reason (doesn't want the 27yo reincarnation of his father figure to die on a klingon suicide mission)

10000/10, absolutely stellar ep, zero complaints

journey's end (tng):

oh boy.

just about the coldest bucket of fucking water...

you know, we tried to give this episode the benefit of the doubt actually. we were like "maybe this was progressive in 1994. i mean they ARE saying that moving these guys forcibly would be bad" and i mean like what would we know about what was progressive in 94? we were 5. so we checked and um i don't think anybody liked it in 1994 either

devastating that THIS has to be a wesley episode bc i wanted a better sendoff for my boy. "i had a vision and now i'm leaving starfleet" and yes they said the word vision in the most derogatory way possible. jesus christ

TRAVELER ALIEN RACEFAKING? HE PRETENDED TO BE NATIVE AMERICAN TO GIVE WESLEY THE VISION? and then he was like haha don't you know all that stuff is fake. (picard earlier in this episode "i am sooo respectful of your beliefs")

furthermore when picard was like "oh yeah this guy blames me for the crimes of my colonizer ancestor" girl at no point did he say that. idk if white people should go around accusing other white people of white guilt so i don't say this lightly but jesus christ captain picard can you tone it the fuck down buddy

i came across a gifset today of picard from season 5 (idr the episode) going "starfleet doesn't want officers who blindly follow orders sayign you're just following orders has been used to justify too many tragedies in our history" and then smash cut to this episode where he's like "well i tried but yeah i'm gonna have to move you sowwy :/" like good lord.

anyway it's a bummer these last few eps of tng have been less than great bc ik tng is capable of good episodes and i was hoping this series would go out on a high note. but it's going to end the same way it began with us waiting for something good to happen and throwing popcorn at picard

TONIGHT: ds9's "the maquis part i" and tng's "firstborn." i am Braced. for trouble.

[canpandaspvp]

KEEP TALKING ABOUT THE SBI FIC THING IM REALLY INTERESTED!! I've always wanted to study that side of the fandom under a microscope but it's scary.

buddy that place is WILDDDD. ok so things you need to know abt sbi side

1. they're damn good writers

2. i don't think they know how to write fanfiction

3. in another universe they create some very well known, published authors

because essentially everything they write is so fucking detached the second it enters an au. with dnf and the general dt side of things, there are differences. sure often times it's a bit more identifiable as fanfiction but that's not a BAD thing. it literally just means people know how to write fanfiction which is what they were intending to do anyways so like hooray

with sbi, i've read SEVERAL (as in i can go into my bookmarks right now and count out at least 10) fics that have just changed and deviated so far from the original source material that it's hard to even understand what they're talking about. in that regard, 100% dnfers get caught out before sbiers, but that's only in the circumstance that they get published at all. sbiers are really creative -- TOO creative, obviously to the point of creation ocs with names and descriptions that often times only vaguely resemble phil, tommy, wilbur, and techno -- which gives them the upper hand publication wise.

that leads into dark sbi which, let it be known, i have NEVER EVER liked. i personally thought it was harsh and unenjoyable but also goddamn did they make some good stories. obviously i read them bc even though i hated the vampires and the kidnapping and shit, it was good. the upper hand of writing fanfiction is that shit is more fast paced and attention grabbing, due to the lack of exposition and shit. so sbiers likely get published first, get discovered on booktube (not booktok cause they only read romance that's packed with tropes to the point of dysfunction), and they at least semi-spread from there until someone is who can't handle any difficult topics in fiction gets upset. but that's a different kind of controversy entirely

sbiers are good authors but they're stuck in this weird limbo of "it's not fanfiction it's just inspired original content" which sort of creates a new genre entirely. they pull some good fanfiction elements into its own realm entirely and it's really frustrating when you want to read fanfiction of something but if you're looking for something fast paced and good to read that aligns with the weird fanon universe they've created, they're your subfandom.

a lot of fics also appeal to personal issues that people are able to project onto easily (i speak from experience) so, while dnf is typically shorter, more accurate, and lighthearted, sbi has dynamics that people often crave in their real life and more people that they can insert themselves into. um that sounds weird but ykwim

they also have The AU's which dnf has but it's just not to the extent that sbi has it. the trifecta:

1. superhero aus

2. royalty aus

3. foster care aus

ran that tag for a good 2 years minimum. those are the sort of Peter Parker Goes On A Field Trip To Stark Industries type of aus where you have a good baseline that people get attached to, so you can sort of rewrite the same story different enough that people feel like they're reading smth new each time. and it works!! if people were to publish an sbi fic (which would likely fall into one of those 3 categories), it'd be realllyyyyyy recognizable just bc it was such a staple in the community. ifl im missing some other big categories but those are just the aus that i remembered off the top of my head that showed up a fuckton

don't get me wrong, i ❤️ dnf fanfiction and you def could publish it if you tried hard enough, but those authors do shit right. the characterization is so niche and specific, the dynamics are so unique, and often times, there just isn't enough in one fic to build and create a story. so much of dnf fanfiction relies on the fact that you already know those two, you know who they are, how they behave, their stakes regarding each other, etc etc. with sbi, the authors end up essentially writing their own stories so much so that they have to tell the story like it's a novel rather than fanfiction. it's very interesting imo esp bc fanon tommy for example is so extremely, incomprehensibly different from c!tommy or cc!tommy, with only enough hits of similarity to keep you hooked into the story with the illusion that you're actually reading the same character, when more often then not, it's like 1/4 tommy, 1/4 fandom misinterpretation interpretation, 1/4 author projection, and 1/4 recycled oc. again, speaking from experience.

also, sbi authors are pretty cocky about their writing, and it's really noticeable when they write a fic with the intention of changing the names and couple minor details to submit to an editing company for a few rounds of revision before they publish their nyt bestseller a few years down the line. they didn't need to leave the fandom to abandon their shit. lorehead analysts have a decent grasp of their content (but i'm biased), but lorehead writers?? different monster entirely. the second dsmp stands for something like "delicious small mtown pforsuperherovillanvigilanteshenanigans" then you know they're too far gone. they're attached to THEIR characters, not the dsmp's; if it means sacrificing the original source material for real life recognition, they'd do it in a heartbeat. i don't blame them but the point still stands.

this is all over the place i'm so sorry idek if i said anything you wanted to know but

tl;dr sbi fanfiction sort of became its own medium between fanfiction and original work so they're more likely to get published, but they fall into the same dynamics in the same type of universes that would easily get them figured out. dnf writers just seem to mind their damn business more. anyway, most dnf writers that left the fandom seem to want to completely forget that they ever did That. usually they just orphan/delete and move on cause they're embarrassed.

sorry again i'm so not good at explaining my thoughts but i did NOT spend 2 1/2 years reading sbi fanfiction 24/7 for nothing. i need to put my experience to use somehow so thanks for letting me do that 😭😭😭

[actualbird]

i've been really curious to ask you about what's your opinion or idea about luke's sudden behavior change or Raven'? do you think it's just a facade he puts on to bear with his unique type of work or there's something more to it? (also i apologize if you've answered this before)

oh i adore this question!! i think i answered something similar to it but it was like way waaaaaaaayy back, so no worries, i cant even remember my response before...

anyhoo, i personally think Raven mode is a mix of:

something he had to create and don to get through the NSB and his work there

a completely real facet of himself and an inextricable part of who he is

some dissociation here and there

1 is easiest to explain because in a way, it's how i see Raven starting in the first place.

everybody has different sides to themselves, with some sides being specifically created for specific environments or to interact with certain people. like, how i act and behave at work is definitely different from how i act and behave online and it's also different from how i act and behave with friends or family. all still me, just a me thats more suited for a specific thing. i think thats how the Raven persona started out, another side of himself that luke created for a specific purpose, but under Much more extreme and intense circumstances.

Raven is luke's worksona, but his work regularly sees combat, danger, conflict, high stakes, life-or-death scenarios, and more. the previous sides of luke that he had were just not gonna cut it in this kind of environment. additionally, it was mentioned in SSR Peaceful Place that luke was younger than most trainees at the NSB, and i think that added to luke's need to construct and grow a side of himself that could weather all this. one that was the opposite of the kind bushy-tailed boy-next-door type he usually was. something stronger, colder, and more intimidating that could help him prove himself, help him keep up with everybody else, and then allow him go further and surpass everyone completely.

now 2 is where things get more speculative. i dont think Raven is a facade because i dont think it's fake.

i think it's real and part of who he is, and the biggest reason i think this is because of his route in the lost gold event

(.....take a shot every time i bring up lost gold on this blog kjhvHSVKDFHVDS)

im talking about luke's worry throughout his entire lost gold route about mc seeing how he gets when hes in Raven mode. how he sent her away so that she wouldnt see him threatening that dude, how he looked so regretful when she finally did witness Raven in action, how he was so worried and emphasized how he wants to be the type of luke that she likes when hes around her, not this side of himself thats cruel and cold and ruthless.

point is, through all of that, he was scared.

if it was a facade, just a fake mask, i dont think his anxiety over the whole thing wouldve been as pronounced. he couldve just said "hey im going to intimidate this guy", which he might still think would be worrying or upsetting to see, but it wouldnt be the end of the world. but his route didnt play out like that. this recurring anxiety over mc seeing an darker side of him (and the resulting resolution of mc still accepting and loving him in spite of that dark side) works best under the assumption that this dark side is him. a different part, yes, but still wholly and completely a true facet of luke pearce.

and it would make sense for Raven to be real. even if luke is a very warm and sunshiney person, he's also a person who has now experienced a lot of horrifying things. i wouldnt say hes jaded, but it would be a natural reaction to seeing the darkness of the world to also grow cynicism and skepticism from whence Raven can draw from. additionally, while Raven is primarily a soldier, the intent behind him is still ultimately a desire to protect people, and luke has a LOT of protective urges inside of him. the bedrock is there, it just needed extreme circumstances to be 'dressed up', so to speak, into the cold Raven persona we see in canon.

plus, the Raven side of him being a real part of him is....simply more interesting to me. luke is somebody who has a very strong devotion to people and the causes he believes in, but his methods to serve those things can go into grey areas because of the ferocity and cruelness that Raven is capable of. but luke is also somebody who has such a big existential worry and desire to Be Good, and him having a Real part of him that many would designate as Bad makes for a more interesting kind of internal conflict.

and internal conflict is also something important to Raven, because of...

the last bit, 3, how i like to think that the Raven mode has some flavors of dissociation (heads up, this is now past speculation and more well into the realm of headcanon HAHA)

dissociation is when somebody feels disconnected from what they are experiencing, thinking, or feeling and/or feeling disconnected from the environment or reality around them, and repeated/regular experiences of this to an unhealthy degree can be caused by traumatic incidents and...

those definitions are VERY MUCH SIMPLIFIED AND THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG, and if you'd like to know more i highly recommend you read up more on it yourself!

...and luke has definitely been through Quite a lot of trauma. parents dying when he was a child + getting himself caught up in cutthroat government organization when he was just a teenager + the disastrous mission that killed everybody but him and definitely left him with survivor's guilt + his illness = thats a lot of trauma! three out of those four i mentioned happening during his NSB days in particular, happening while the Raven side was most likely being created.

when a person is constantly going through stressful and traumatic stuff like that, theres a possibility that they can dissociate. mentally disconnecting from the thing that is causing the distress, after all, feels safer. and Raven is a much stronger and powerful side of luke that exists that luke can reach for and become when things get Too Much.

i dont think luke is dissociating Every Time he goes Raven mode, but again, it's really interesting to think about actually happening (whether in already-happened canon moments or in future possibilities). it'd add more messiness and stakes to his internal conflict of wanting to be good but having a part of him thats 'bad', that sometimes the good sides of him cannot cope or handle certain situations, causing a disconnected feeling and once hes more back into his brain he'll realize that he just went on a chillingly effective rampage or something. it's also interesting to think about in terms of how shifts back from Raven mode, where maybe after particularly high stakes missions he just....hasnt shaken off the adrenaline yet. he still doesnt feel safe, it doesnt feel like the job is done, his demeanor is still silent and cold and serious, bracing for another attack or danger, and the side of him that logically knows that there is no more danger simply feels too far away right now for him to immediately decompress. luke's fear of this part of himself would pack more punch if there was an aspect of it that he cant particularly control just yet.

so yeah, those r my thoughts! thank you for the ask! :D

[knockoff-conlon]

you know. i made a post about remus + his jewish characterization. now it's time for james and his adhd. everyone always talks about how james is so adhd, right, but i see a lot of truly awfully written adhd and as someone with adhd, it bugs the fuck out of me.

in fics, it's usually just written as "MY GOD, SPARKLY!" and yeah, sometimes it is that way in my brain. but that's not all adhd is. i never see adhd james written with the bad side of adhd.

1) sensory issues. this was the big one for me. i never see james with sensory issues. it's such a reality for adhd people tho. james who hates certain textures and gets unreasonably upset when he bites into a plum one day. he hates anything squeaky and nearly cries when remus' shoes squeak on the castle floors. he has huge issues with clothes textures and he literally shoves Sirius into a wall when he gets an unexpected hug and hates sirius' shirt material.

2) distracted and forgetful. you do see this with james but only as funny things and not things that seriously cause problems. james forgets things a lot- words and places and important dates. he forgot the word pen one day when trying to ask peter for one and he spent the whole rest of the day trying to think of it. he gets distracted by things and it upsets his friends sometimes. lily talking about her family issues and james finding sweets in his pocket that he forgot were there so he just starts talking about his sweets.

3) stims. i hadn't even realized i had them until my therapist pointed them out. james is HUGE on stimming. his most notable is bouncing. he bounces his leg when he's anxious or overstimulated. james bounces up and down when he's happy or worried. he loves bouncing. his hair ruffling thing is a perfect example of stimming. excited and happy, so he ruffles his hair. he wiggles/sways a lot too. his snitch, too, stimming constantly.

4) food. food. he loves specific foods and refuses to go outside of his designated safe foods. he has a specific love for sugar cookies and will eat them always. he always has them on his person. same with grapes, eggs, orange juice, noodle soup. those are his "safe" foods. notices slightest differences in foods. slightly burnt taste, unsalted food, too crispy/soft, stuff like that.

5) special interests. quidditch, number one. he loves quidditch so much and knows practically everything about the sport. he loves to talk about quidditch and gets really rambly when asked about it. and he gets upset when people interrupt his quidditch talk. loves music, too, and hyperfixates on musicians he likes- bowie, abba, queen, whitney houston. stuff like that. special interest in baking since he was young.

i could keep going. but there's so much more to adhd than just going "SHINY" and getting distracted. it's a real issue, it causes a lot of pain. it's not funny and it's not just go make james seem interesting. pretending james' adhd is a joke is harmful and people with adhd are actually affected by it.

however, i love helping people with characterizations and i love helping people in general. so if you wanna dm me to ask about adhd things, im happy to help!!

[symptoms-syndrome]

Hi! I’m curious to hear (in a vague way) what the process was like uncovering the DID if you’re comfortable answering. Like how long did it take? Did your therapist(s)/treatment team first consider other diagnoses? And anything else you feel comfortable sharing.

Hihi! This is sort of a hard question to answer for me, but I can try!

What constitutes my "treatment team" is sort of hard to define in this sense, because IDK if you mean "the ppl over the course of my life" or like "the one who wrote it on paper."

I've been seeing a therapist since I was 6 years old. I started going to outpatient programs like when I was in my early teens for Behavioral Problems. In those I was diagnosed with everything in the book so like. In that sense other diagnoses were considered? I think by the time I was 18 and kicked out of the house/able to see a professional of my own volition not connected to my parents/disciplinary programs, I was mostly labeled as BPD, PTSD, depression + anxiety, OCD, maybe NPD or ODD. I don't really give a single shit about any of those because I don't define myself by diagnoses anymore, or try not to, and my therapists as an adult told me it was majorly fucked that I was diagnosed with all that as a teenager. Most of them weren't even legit they were just labels to try and pin down why I was a Bad Kid. Spoiler for that, the answer was that generally teenagers act out when they're subject to intense trauma basically all the time and aren't listened to and are institutionalized. Tends to fuck your brain up real bad. I'm a lot better now not bc I got over the laundry list of diagnoses, but because I'm in like. A stable and supportive and independent environment.

I was officially diagnosed as an adult, exact ages escape me but probably like 19? It came as a surprise to me but fit like a glove re: my experiences with memory loss, not remembering where I am, meeting people who have met me before but I didn't remember, people telling me I did things I don't think I would, etc. It was really upsetting to hear because it's such a. Permanent and perception-of-life altering disorder. I was definitely hoping it was something that could be like. Cured more easily. It was also definitely hard to come to terms with the fact my childhood was That Bad, when I didn't really think it was before.

My therapist at the time said it was almost stupidly obvious that was what I had, even tho I wasn't like. Aware of it.

So like. How long did it take is hard to answer. Overall, if you count all the time I was being seen by psychiatric "professionals?" Over 10 years. If you count just that therapist? Like one year.

I'm a lil scatterbrained RN, so I might add more detail later or if u send another ask. I guess the question is so open and vague it's hard to answer without a full autobiography LMAO.

But I guess it would be useful to know why you wanna know. Then I could probably give a better answer. Are you considering the diagnosis for yourself? Are you trying to see if ur experience is shared w others? But also keep in mind I'm a weird little anti-psych dog who in general rejects the idea of seeking diagnosis for treatment. RN in therapy I mostly talk about my day to day struggles with whatever (like "damn, I've been really fixated on [specific trauma] this week" or "I made a friend" or "I'm really stressed about this argument I had" or "later this week im going on a date and i don't wanna fuck it up") and occasionally parts stuff comes up. Therapy hasn't majorly changed I don't think. Then again I'm real shit brain right now and my memory sucks ass. Maybe I can answer better later I just know if I didn't answer at all I'd forget.

[seasideoranges]

Your honest thoughts on Zutara for the ship asks?

OH!!

well before I begin here's a really cool relaxing video I very much enjoy

anyways

i apologize in advance if my thoughts on the ship seem very much all over the place lol.

on one hand, i understand the appeal! i have some friends/moots that share beautiful zutara fanart/fics that i very much enjoy! it's a ship that i very much understand it's significance and impact it's had on not just this fandom, but throughout other online spaces and just shipping as a whole.

on the other hand, while i understand the appeal, it kind of shocks me how ride and die people are with the ship, specifically with how massive the ship war is, and the nasty behavior that comes with it.

it's important to note that when the show first began airing, i was only 3, and i was around 7 or 8 when the show ended. i didnt really get into it because of how young i was, besides watching snippets of s2 and 3 on nick and random amvs i stumbled upon as a kid haha.

i had my first real watch of the show about 2 years ago, and while i wasn't extremely knowledgeable on the fandom, i did hear about the infamous shipping wars in the fandom, like whispers in the wind, and how zutara should've been endgame. going in with this knowledge, let me tell you how shocked i was with the lack of canon material in the show regarding zutara. like, i had people tell me there was a legitimate love triangle happening! people still believe that!

dont take this the wrong way! im not saying you have to have a ship be canon, or for it to have a ton of canon material in order to ship it, i love rarepairs and crackships, shipping is suppose to be fun! i know zk gets hate because it isnt a canon ship and i think that's very, very silly. this is more so a response to the "zk shouldve been end game it was robbed from us etc etc", because i'm sorry, but i didn't see this at all while watching the show. it was very clear to me what was suppose to be endgame.

i do understand that it was a different culture back when the show was airing, in the sense that there was tons of marketing material teasing zutara, thus people were upset with the writers when it didn't happen, but it makes me wonder if this is truly the fault of the atla crew, or the fault of the marketing department, and nickelodeon seeing how popular shipping was and asking it's marketing department to hone in on this to draw in numbers. most of the time the people behind a show don't get a say in how the marketing works y'know? ANYWAYS! Back to the actual ship! I don't like when people water down katara and zukos characters for the ship. I don't like the treatment aang receives from more hardcore fans, painting him to be some awful, no good, horrible partner of katara and friend of zuko. zuko and katara are ride and die for aang, if there was an aang fanclub, they're the ones who started it and they're fighting every week over who gets to be president lmao. i really dont like when this treatment gets extended to sokka and toph, treating them like bumbling idiots that katara is stuck with until zuko comes in to save the day because he's 'oh so mature, much more mature then those other 3 fools, and the only one who gets katara' which just. isn't true.

I like when people don't water their characters down and really focus on how chaotic they'd be, or the fact that they're still just teenagers! I like when people don't throw away Aang, and even in a zk universe aang is still close friends with them and their number one supporter. i like when they don't throw away kataras relationship with sokka or toph, and they're still just as important in her life.

final thoughts

it's fine! im not crazy over it but i understand the appeal. shoutout to my zutara moots, love the stuff you create, don't ever stop! besides sharing some zk art, you probably wont see zutara art coming from me, im much more focused on pushing my 'platonic shit talking wine drinking zuko and katara besties' agenda bahaha.

[oshidorifuufu]

psst you are given permission to rant about your oshis in the answer to this ask!!!! (*´∀｀*) i wanna hear all about them!!!!!

THANK YOU SM I LOVE YOUU💖💖💖💖

I LOVE IZURU SO MUCH. IF YOU LOOK AT MY HAPPY TAG I THINK MOST IF NOT ALL THE POSTS R ABOUT IZURU 😭

hes cute, hes entertaining, he’s adorable, HIS ENGLISH is adorable, HES SO GOOD AT GUITAR!!!! AND SINGING!!! HIS AISHITE COVER OMG!!! AND I WANT HIS GOODS SO BAD!!!! HES INSPIRED ME TO PICK UP THE GUITAR AGAIN!!! and im so HAPPY because my guitar looks similar to the guitar in his model 🥺🥺

THIS HAD GOT TO BE ONE OF MY FAV IZURU CLIPS!!! HES SO CUTE!!!! https://youtu.be/wpK7_mhSMBo?si=lCmerRYcasUMeF7T (hakka english one)

OTHER FUN ONES: https://youtu.be/xN7qz89gSgw?si=Q67ns5T3kFj0modd , https://youtu.be/nUZZ5ylrU44?si=Tf-chkNQnNdQMkjk

AS I WRITE THIS i am listening to this song on loop https://youtu.be/PQyXsCV5ZWQ?si=RxLzwNRSDVf6vnFS LEARNING ABOUT THIS SONG WAS THE BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME ALL YEAR AND YOU NEED TO HEAR IT TOO

in general its not JUST izuru that i love. I LOVE ALL THE HOLOSTARS!!!!! HANASAKI MIYABI IS MY OSHI TOO AND ASTEL LEDA AND KISHIDO TENMA MIGHT BECOME OSHI’S TOO!! AFGH BUT I ALSO LOVE ROBERU!! THIS SONG CHEERS ME UP SO MUCH ITS GOTTEN ME OUT OF DEPRESSIVE RUTS I!!! LOVE!!! IT!!!!!!!

(this roberu clip is so cute hehe) https://youtu.be/C5mH835w0LY?si=9niBq8V1enujoer7

WAHHHHHH IZURUS PART CAME ON IN THE SONG I LOVE HIM I LOVECHIM ITS SO GOOD WAHHH

RN IZURU IS MY KAMI OSHI AS YOU CAN PROBABLY TELL. BUT THE OTHERS R HOLOSTARS IN GENERAL, HANASAKI MIYABI, KANAE AND MEME MASHIRO!!!!!!!

HANASAKI MIYABI IS SO ADORABLE AND THIS MAY SOUND MEAN BUT I FIND THE FACT HES NOT THE BEST AS SINGING SO ADORABLE 😭 HES SUCH AN ADORABLE LITTLE FLOWER BOY!!!!!!!!! I WANNA BE AS CUTE AS HIMMM 😭 AND HIS 出かけよう SERIES IS SO FUN TO WATCH!! ITS GOT PRETTY SIMPLE JAPANESE AND THE EDITING IS SO CUTEE EHAHAHHEHAHAH

NEXT IS KANAE!!! KANAE ISNT FROM HOLOLIVE BUT NIJISANJI. (why am i talking in all caps oopsies???) HES SUPER MISCHEVIOUS BUT ALSO SUPER KIND!!!! AND FUNNY!!!!! ESPECIALLY IN CHRONIOR ALONGSIDE KUZUHA!!!!

MY FAV KNAE CLIPS/VIDEOS:

https://youtu.be/l7lfYjVRz6A?si=sP7qDRgI5pG2tqLv , https://youtu.be/N5TkXb9F4dQ?si=fg3ciRwAEm1hRjTc , https://youtu.be/kXyzE01wtIE?si=W1NZ5gF7eKj8ic61

I WATCHED A STREAM HIM LIKE LAST MONTH THAT WAS FUCKING 18 HOURS LONG!!!!! FROM SM LIKE 6PM TO 12PM JPN TIME!!!! KANAE IS CRAZY COMMITED LIKE 😭 THERE WERE PPL HAVING DINNER, GOING TO BED, WAKING UP, EATING BREAKFAST, GOING TO WORK, TAKING THEIR LUNCH BREAK AND BRO WAS STILL STREAMINGFG?????

i was so glad to be there live…

IN THE SECOND CLIP SPECIFICALLY, I WAS SO SURPRISED THAT HE COULD JUST DRIVE OFF LIKE THAT 😭 it probably sounds weird but i always find myself clinging to people on online games like that!?!??!? i get so upset if they leave me -w- is that a bpd thing or me just being weird

HES SO CHILL AND NORMAL AND FUNNY AND WHAAA??? I WANNA BE LIKE HIM!!!! (except im too mentally ill for that)

I HAVE SO MUCH FANART OF HIM SAVED ON PINTEREST,,,,,,,,,

OK NEXT IS MEME MASHIRO!!!! HES ALSO FROM NIJISANJI!!!!

THIS GUY HAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE COVERS OF ALL TIME THAT EVERYONE WHO CARES ABOUT LISTENING TO GOOD MUSIC NEEDS TO LISTEN TO: https://youtu.be/m79OrSy03rs?si=LCjVTRqUymGs50R0

HIS LORE IS BASED OFF THIS SONG!! and even outside of his lore, he actually has a pretty depressing background, he’s talked somewhat abt his toxic family, being bullied by teachers, etcetc, which makes him feel really real and relatable. im so happy that he gets to be happy doing this now!!! >_<

he mostly does horror streams!! even tho i cant handle horror they’re pretty fun hehe

TUMBLR WONT LET ME POST ANY MORE VIDEO LINKS BUT I WILL REBLOG THIS AND FOLLOW UP

ONE OF MY FAV MASHIRO CLIPS ^

im kind of hyperfixated on these guys rn especially holostars >_< they make me so happy and i will absolutely fucking BAWL my eyes out whenever any of them inevitably graduate (quit streaming)