#im just so annoyed like my minds racing and overthinking this whole thing and i am being completely dismissed even after explaining it

[lymooniee]

I just can't believe I had the most stupidest argument, got called pretentious for just explaining my side in an organized way. Like shit my bad for taking something seriously and literally because it's important to me but a joke and stupid to you, I wasn't even trying to make a competition or anything out of it like bro what???

[moonlightchn]

~WHOLESOME WEDNESDAY~

Not to be a soft motherfucker but I've been wanting to do this again for a week now so I guessed I would try my best to fit as many of my thoughts here as I can without being annoying or tumblr fucking up plz bear with me heh but we know none of those are actually possible anyway so THERES THAT also this is fucking long wow ANYWAY

WARNING WORD VOMIT sjsjsjsj I dont even know what i wrote I'm sorry but I'm tagging yall anyway

Some of you I speak to on a daily basis, yknow? Like,, as admin. And its fucking insane because like- I don't know but like isn't it insane? sjajsjsj How fast some people come to grow in your heart and get under your skin and become so important for you. I think it's crazy. That in four months or so I've made more friends in here that in my whole life and I've learned so much about life and myself and I've gotten marked and some of you imprinted on my mind and heart forever. And like HELL I wasn't here when most big dramas happened but I was here for two very big ones and like??? idk it feels like all of us have been through shared crises and somehow grown closer sjajskwjs idk I'm weird and im sensitive today and I just feel like wow what would I be doing without all of you right now? probably studying. or scrolling Twitter in which I never spoke to anyone. or watching Instagram stories and getting sad over how all my ex class partners are still in contact and hang out and keep strong relationships while I just sit here. like, I know we all say this place sucks and we hate it and its toxic and don't get me wrong of course some people is fucking shitty and they take a toll on a lot of others but that like... it also happens in real life yknow?? but like in real life how many people do you think would actually idk sit with you through a panic attack or stay up with you till 8am or wake up in the middle of the night or rave with you or hype you up or have meme wars or send you daily jokes or just randomly tell you how much you mean to them or make posts asking where you are when you disappear or been gone for too long or make people that doesnt know you send you birthday wishes? like I'm not saying it doesnt happen but isnt it wonderful that it happens HERE with US where maybe out of 10 people only 2 know each other in real life? Isnt it wonderful that we're from all around the world? that you half of the time dont realize someone isnt from English speaking places because they're too good or even when they're not that good no one judges you because this is such an inclusive and wonderful place for people of all races and colors and sexualities and nationalities and body types and hair colors?

idk I'm just RAMBLING but like I wanted to let everyone know that even if we dont speak, even if we NEVER spoke, even if we're only on each others tag lists, or even if I was and you took me off or I took you off or if you deleted or if you have 817383 bots and you speak to me in all of them or only one or whatever PLEASE just know that I love you so much and I appreciate you and you're awesome and if you made some mistakes know that you CAN fix them you CAN learn and be better you CAN grow.

I believe that everyone is capable of learning and changing and everyone deserves a second chance as long as they genuinely show the intention of changing and bettering themselves. I believe that we're capable of forgiving and maintaining healthy relationships without hard feelings. I believe we all have goodness. I believe we all are small universes and we have stars in our eyes and supernovas in our brains and a million things to discover and I believe its funnier to be together than alone and I'm rambling again but like idk just yesterday I was sending someone a message telling them how maybe I'm fucking delusional and naive because who the fuck goes out on their daily saying "be skeptical. dont trust too much. always pay attention" but then after two days of talking with someone they're fucking platonically whipped and would sell their soul as long as they can see those around them happy? trick question I know many of you do too which WORRIES ME PLZ DONT PUT YOUR HEARTS ON THE LINE SO EASILY I drifted I forgot what I was saying oh welp

Anyway for some of you i have so much to say I could write endless paragraphs about you about admins and characters and life and wow I do speak a lot to admins sometimes I speak more to admins as admin that the characters and for some others I can only say a few things or wish you to have a good day some of you I only ever spoke to your character or we talked too little or never at all wow I say that a lot but like one thing yall have in common is that I love you so much even if you don't know me or dont care alright I dont care if you don't care I LOVE YOU and you can FIGHT ME if you dont wanna accept it smh I just want you to know that this place so many of you have been feeling is crumbling down or hurting them or isnt the same anymore is MY safe place too is a place where I feel comfortable and secure and I know, well decide to believe, that you guys would never do willingly anything to hurt another and yknow sometimes I just sit in bed and look at my account and I'm like wow I suck I should delete but then I'm like I could never do that to you I really couldn't because I've been told so many times I'm peoples safe place too and I would never want to take that away from you yknow

I mean I'm not gonna say we shouldn't pay attention to the bad things that happen because this is somehow our home and it's on us to protect it but I think that we shouldnt focus so much on it. because theres still so many good things that we overlook when we think of the bad or when we let things get to us or when we decide to act out of impulse and not think through stuff yknow

ANYWAAY what I'm trying to say is that I love you all so so so so so much and this is my safe place because you're here for me when I need it and I would never give you guys up for anything and like i have so many people for whom i stay daily and try my best and I hope that someday when you need a reason i can be that for you too because I've said this in private but I want everyone to know that this is my corner too and I will always fight for it and protect it so like we can all fight for it together whenever things get rough or you can leave me alone and maybe I'm being super dramatic and putting a lot of weight on this but I started overthinking like halfway and in just tthink that I want to keep yall close to me and my heart forever ok so stay safe and healthy and happy yeah fight for your happiness fight for what you deserve fight for what you want and don't let anyone ANYONE EVER take away from you your joy and your spark and your will to be yourself ok bye

[movedyourchair505]

Napule Nights - cinque 

- chapter navigation -

x

Upon arrival back at the headquarters, two more men stepped out to start unloading Jade's stuff from the car, Helders accompanying Miles to meet with Turner, while the other security guard gestured for her to follow him, to be taken to meet with Serena.

"W-What about my things?" Jade questioned, turning around worriedly to look over her shoulder and see the men carrying her bags inside not very carefully.

"It's all gonna be taken care of" the man informed her, seemingly annoyed at her questions and she went on to follow him silently, knowing that despite having felt rather at ease in Serena's company, she wasn't going to feel as safe now, knowing what was at stake because now she'd had a taste of this, was inside and getting somewhere, and she wasn't ready to give it all up again right away.

"What's your name?" She asked, regretting the additional question to the security guard the second it left her lips, but she was desperate for any sort of distraction, even if it meant getting on bad terms with yet another of Turner's men.

"Cook" the man grunted.

She nodded slowly, fiddling with her bracelet, falling behind as she couldn't stand feeling like a prisoner being escorted to their hearing, a hearing that would decide it all, and that's probably how this man right now saw her, like nothing more than a prisoner, someone who might just be gone by tomorrow to be never heard from again. "C-Can you tell me what's going to happen?" She asked, another attempt to communicate, this time to ease her mind rather than sway it.

He shrugged, unlocking a door at the end of the corridor and holding it open for her to go through before following, the crash of it shutting making her jump. "Yeh're gonna give Serena the information she needs" he said, his voice surprisingly soft now, a raw edge to it, but he didn't seem as restrictive to talk now, was at least giving her something to work with.

"What if it isn't enough?" She asked. She supposed she could ask him, because what was the worst he could do? If she was right with her assumptions, her telling him in advance about her worries would not have any impact on the outcome of the situation, if she didn't know enough, it wouldn't matter anyway and if she did, he would probably not speak against her.

But once again, she was merely guessing, Turner and his whole team were unpredictable without exception.

"That's up to her to decide" he shrugged. "She will expect a certain level of confidential information, to start training you."

Her eyes widened. "Training me?" She repeated in disbelief.

Cook shrugged. "Yeh, teh work, be useful teh Turner, find out more on the enemeh, do jobs for 'im. Wha' did yeh fink yeh was goin' teh do for 'im?"

"I just didn't know it was going to be this fast, that she was going to train me so to speak."

He stopped, looked at her over the edge of his sunglasses, then knocked on the door they'd reached at the end of the corridor.

"Si?" Serena's voice rang through the door and Cook pushed it open, once again holding it for Jade, giving her somewhat of a reassuring look, if she squinted and tilted her head a bit, and then he was gone, the door fell shut, and she was alone with Serena.

She'd expected another office type room, Serena's office perhaps, if she had one, but the dark space she'd entered now looked like an interrogation room at a police station, drawing up memories Jade would've preferred to forget. It had been a while, but being interrogated in the middle of the night, being taken in just stepping down from the pole and dressed for the occasion, a girl didn't forget that as easily.

"Sit down, Jade."

Her voice was professional, formal, not as understanding and helpful as when she'd explained things to her previously, given her advice, and as attracted as she was to Turner, Jade wouldn't have enjoyed sweating under his gaze, him asking her questions, expecting her to tell him certain things, him being the one that decided her fate.

The room was significantly colder than the rest of the hallways and rooms she had been in so far and she shivered as she approached the seat opposite Serena's, the echo of her heels clicking on the ground keeping her mind from wandering. She had to focus now, observe, no overthinking, no assumptions, more than just winning Serena over was at stake.

She wondered if Mancini had been in here, or if she wasn't regarded quite as low as him just yet, desperately hoping it would stay that way.

"I'm going to record our conversation."

Serena's voice snapped her out of it, already catching her mind drifting, thinking when she'd just sworn to focus but it was always too much, so many things she noticed and wanted to explore, so she wouldn't be surprised, would figure it out beforehand.

There was no friendly introduction now, no easing her into it, she was just another informant, just another puppet in their game, and Serena was treating her as such, no trace of the woman she'd met before. And that, that was even more worrying.

Before Jade could give any sort of response, Serena pressed the button on the recording device and leaned back in her chair, one leg resting on the other, eyes staring Jade down in a way she'd only seen from Turner. She had learned from the best.

"At what time did you enter Alfonso's club last night?" She questioned.

Jade had carried the information, the memory of the night before with her for less than twenty-four hours, she remembered it all vividly, especially right now when it mattered the most. "After my shift" she stated. "So ... I must've been inside twenty minutes to one."

Serena gave a nod of approval. "This was Buio, yes?"

"Yes" Jade confirmed. "Alfonso's biggest and oldest club."

She expected amusement, some comment about how specific she was, that she'd done her research but no such thing came back, Serena simply gave another nod. "Who did you interact with besides Mancini?"

"I tried to get everyone's enough" Jade assured her quickly, just so she wouldn't think her work was sloppy. "Some seemed rather unimportant, I didn't recognise them, but those were the ones that slipped up the most, they..."

"Stop" Serena cut in. "I doubt that anyone who would let anything slip, any nobody would have information I'm interested in. Who did you talk to that actually is somebody?"

Jade swallowed, her heart starting to race at the tone of the other women, disappointment and impatience ringing through, the mask of calm crumbling slowly, she really was Turner's right hand and it was making more and more sense. "I talked to Mancini. And Salvestro. He bought me a drink."

Serena raised an eyebrow, placing both her feet on the ground again and shuffling closer to the table with her chair, elbows resting on the surface as she leaned in to look closer at Jade, the name had sparked her interest. "Salvestro" she repeated. "He had no suspicions about you?"

Jade smirked. "Honestly, I have no idea. He barely looked at my face, was too busy eyefucking me, but he really lost track of what he was saying. Thought I was just some bimbo so he didn't watch his tongue, assumed I wouldn't understand anyway. I tried to make it seem like I was one of Mancini's girls, because I'd talked to him earlier."

The other woman nodded, the corner of her mouth twitching upward. "Right" she said. "What did you find out?"

"I gave him a bit of a lap dance while he was on the phone" Jade went on. "He was talking to this man called Paolo, but I think it was the Blade."

Serena seemed impressed, Jade could see it flicker across her face for a brief second, and it eased her mind at least slightly, brought her some peace. "The Blade?" Serena questioned. "You know who you're talking about there?"

Jade gave a nod, now trying to seem as nonchalant as she could. "I do" she stated. "Alfonso's inofficial assassin."

Serena cocked an eyebrow, nodding slowly. "Indeed. You've really done your homework, Jade. Are you sure you're really as independent as you make yourself out to be?"

And there it was, the accusation she'd been worried about, that the research she'd done, all the intel she'd gathered in the scene would be her downfall. She tried to play it cool, standing her ground. "Would I really lay out all this information if I wasn't?"

"Well, that's how spies operate" she said, shrugging. "Making it seem like they're trust-worthy by sacrificing something."

"Sacrificing Mancini? And myself? Would be a bit too much, don't you think?"

Serena sighed. "Alfonso doesn't shy away from great risks" she said, standing up slowly, her flat hands pressed to the table's surface.

Jade swallowed, she hadn't thought through how to prove she wasn't working for anyone, so she tried to stir the conversation back to her information. "Don't you want to know what the Blade and Salvestro were talking about?"

"What if they figured you out and gave you fake information?"

Jade squinted, leaning back and crossing her arms in front of her chest, her breasts pushed up from the position and she held Serena's gaze. "I thought I was supposed to give you helpful information. This isn't something they'd just make up."

"Then how is it something they'll discuss in front of some stripper?"

She sighed, knowing the comment was rather directed at her insignificance to Alfonso's men than her occupation it itself. "I know more."

Serena bit her lip. "Go on then" she nodded, sitting back down.

"He told the Blade to meet Alfonso tonight, that he'd arranged for them to meet, that they were going to carry out an attack. As you said, Alfonso is quite fond of risk, so why not have someone like Salvestro chedule their meeting?"

The woman opposite her gave another nod, approving for her to continue, now clearly intrigued as Jade pieced the puzzle together, demonstrating that she was in fact not just some stripper.

"They'll meet in neutral territory, if you want to send someone, to make sure it's none of Turner's that they're planning to attack, especially because you have Mancini here."

Her eyes widened visibly, something Jade hadn't expected. "Right" she said, playing it off quickly  and hoping Jade hadn't noticed. "What else?"

"Next week they're receiving a large delivery down by the Box."

Serena swallowed. "What's in it?"

"They didn't specify" Jade said. "They said midnight, they said the Box, but no date and not the delivery's content. I assume it's the new drug they've been selling, though."

Serena glared back at her. "How do you know about that?"

"Unimportant."

"No" she disagreed firmly. "Everything is important."

"I cannot say" she insisted, already regretting having mentioned it, the desire to impress her and be useful so strong, but now her conscience was catching up with her. "I can't."

Serena gritted her teeth, once again standing up, leaning over the table and down over Jade. She wasn't much taller than her, didn't tower over her like Turner or Helders, but was intimidating nonetheless. "You can. And you will."

She swallowed, now she'd made things even worse. "What if I don't?"

"I ask the questions."

She bit her lip. "Will it stay confidential?"

"Between me and Alexander."

Jade knew she had no other option than to trust her, knowing that she would only have her word anyway if she would get out of this with Serena on her side. "One of the girls down at the club tried it and she's been in the hospital for a week."

Serena swallowed hard. "Is she safe?" She asked instantly.

"None of us have gone to see her, we knew it would only be a matter of time until Alfonso found out, and they'd get rid of witnesses."

"This is brilliant" Serena said. "And do not worry about her. I'm going to send someone to make sure she's safe as soon as we're done. We're going to use this, if you don't mind. As soon as she is safe, of course" she added, the Serena she'd met, that had helped her visible for just a second.

Jade bit her bottom lip worriedly. "Will you put her safety first? I cannot take responsibility if something happens to her, I..."

"This is what you wanted though, isn't it?" She asked, her eyes cold again. "You knew we could use this to harm Alfonso. And we will. Alexander is going to love this."

The other woman had gone quiet now, as confident as ever, but worried too.

"Is there anything else you haven't told me that could be of use?"

Jade shook her head, in complete disbelief at this whole conversation. She had not expected it to turn out this way, thinking deeper and deeper about what she maybe had done wrong, what consequences sharing this information with this family would have, she didn't feel capable of continuing, but she knew Serena would ask more, demand more. When the door opened, she froze, expecting the worst.

"Yeh're done 'ere."

Her head snapped around and she looked at Turner over her shoulder, the look in his eyes sent shivers down her spine and he held gestured for Jade to stand up, then holding his hand out for her.

She glanced back at Serena for just a second who looked anything but amused and crossed her arms in front of her chest and Jade noticed her gaze flicker up, the only thing she could make out against the dark ceiling a small blinking light so Jade quickly rose to her feet, following Turner out of the room, the heavy door falling shut behind them. Jade was confused, couldn't quite put her finger on what'd just happened.

As soon as they stepped into the corridor, Helders and Cook were by their sides, a third man staying behind by the doors, presumably waiting for Serena to step out, whenever that would be, and however she was supposed to interpret that moment back there.

"Where are we going?" Jade questioned, biting her bottom lip instantly at her own question as she watched Turner subtly from the side, his large hands rolling up the sleeves of his silky plum coloured shirt, more rings accentuating his fingers than before.

"I told yeh I'm gunna take yeh teh me club."

Her heart skipped a beat as she realised what this meant, she couldn't speak, just focused on the men's heavy steps, how close Turner was to her side as they walked, the way the corridor didn't seem so cold anymore.

"Do you want me to escort Miss Rivera?" Cook asked.

Turner shook his head without turning to look at the man behind him. "No" he said firmly. "She's wif meh."