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hauntsthenarrative · 2 months ago

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trust me i completely understand ur point of view (sorry for the consistent yapping LMAOAOOAOA)

which is why I emphasized that i UNDERSTAND shipping them but that people have to keep everything else in mind. i wasnt exactly saying their dynamic is cute, rather it was understandable in terms of why people would like them together (ex. the interaction they had with the night time window screen, which is of course dark as fuck but also shows how, at least to curly, similar interactions with anya were a normal thing, proving them to be close (intimate) which i didnt mean in a romantic way necessarily but rather in a platonic way trust).

i understand how this could undermine the point of the game (and in a LOT of content with this ship IT DOES. AND IT PISSES ME OFF. A LOT.) but im just defending it bc ive seen some writing and art that does incorporate the more complex aspects of their dynamic and what happened in the game into this 'relationship'/pairing, and work out how exactly they might go about dealing with everything in alternate scenarios.

I say this in the sense of a lot of them acknowledging what Curly could have done better, which in my opinion wasn't much due to the fact that any incident would lead to a massive paydock in everyones check. reminder that anya was the one who needed the most money compared to the rest, and as they were all getting laid off, curly took this into account in his decision. the game isnt soley critiquing rape culture, rather capitalism, as chances are curly would have taken more action and restraints against jimmy if it wasnt going to harm anya (again, he was probably going to deal with things in a legal way getting back, and knew that if anya wanted to sue him/the company she wouldnt be able to with the lack of funds from reporting the incident on the direct mission, which is something he was aware of, as you said, because of his closeness to the company).

The whole point of the game was the kind of environment and situations capitalistic companies put ppl in (ex. the pay dock that would deadass fuck up everyones life). this put curly in a situation where any normal person wouldnt do anything IN THAT SPECIFIC MOMENT. the point of the game is all of us are curly. capitalism is bad yadayada i could go a lot more in depth but i lowkey dont have that much energy rn. there are some rlly good posts about it though (a lot of marxist views. they are super interesting to look at fr i highly recommend)

I also think that angst pairings works in this particular situation, which is mainly how i personally view it. also im pretty sure i saw a lot of people say some of the game makers have reposted stuff w the pairing, which is also why im defending it a little, since even the creators dont think its completely messed up, meaning it could have, or might have worked, and isnt wrongful to promote as long as people keep curlys shitty actions in mind.

but yeah other than that stuff ofc i agree with your view and am glad you answered me w that, its def a lot to think about!

...aaaaand i think that if someone liked the pairing it would have to be within very specific circumstances/contexts that deal with the actual tricky stuff, but that its not completely fucked up.

Caught her just in time

(This is for the Anya x Curly shippers out there)

Song: Ladyfingers - Herb Alpert

#mouthwashing #i gen think anyone would act the same way in curlys position which was kinda the point of the game not just the rape ykyk #but yeah #i mean it was outerspace and they were MONTHS away from any land u guys even him confronting jimmy would have made him go absolutely batshi #and curly knew that?#idk i think rape culture is major in the game #but the main point is ab capitalism and the lack of respect it has for humans #and how in these situations we are all curly #bc thats what capitalism has made us like #yk

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miracleqmusical · 1 year ago

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weeks pass by like days now

theres only 4 days till christmas, how?? i swear yesterday was 12/1. time goes by extremely fast as well when i dont have school. and now that i dont have school i just .. idk. i dont feel real at times, too. being separated from the world and isolated in a house with a ten year old (😭) surely isnt what id like to be spending my time doing. i love talking to my online friends! however.. they get most active past 12am.. like fnaf.. lol

i love staying up late talking to them but i hate the consequences that follow. im tired all day and i risk getting caught! if i get caught being up late especially talking to online friends ohhh my ass is grass.

i uh

i think they are getting like tired of me tho, maybe they are just changing, like friendships do. but i dont want them to change, i dont want us to change. i dont handle loss very well so change always makes me feel its gonna turn into a loss

im nervous

i try to talk to people as much as i can but no response , is it me or the other person ⁉️ i need to make more friends. but at the same time i dont think i could ever build the same bond or relationship (/p) with anyone else the same way i have with my other friends. they hold a special place in my heart. but idk if i have that place in theirs 😰😰

it’ll pass

tomorrow is friday. the next day is saturday. i get to see my cousin! and maybe get stoned . dont ask :3

my dog is supposed to have puppies anytime now. shes been having contractions all day and its stressin me out. i wish she’d just hurry and pop these pups out already. december 22nd sounds like a pretty birthday

i blocked him on twitter today. and now imessage. i dont really have a reason.. i just dont wanna talk to him. at all. ive lost the love i thought i had for him. he wasnt a bad boyfriend i guess but he was a bad friend. well maybe its the other way around… or maybe hes just bad all around. he wasnt the one and i knew it from the start

theres only one guy ive been certain about but i gave up on him a while ago. i also recently thought i liked a friend of mine.. but i think its better if we stay friends :’| love is hard. i dont know how to wait and let it come naturally. well. maybe i do wait.. at least i have been for the past week. but past relationships ive been in felt so rushed!! i dont think i’ll ever be able to love again if i keep loving and loving then getting my heart broke

ive started liking a kids movie franchise. trolls. is that embarrassing? should i be embarrassed? ashamed? im not rlly.. but i feel like if i express it to certain people i’ll get bullied LOL

ive been asking for music recommendations far and wide bc i feel like when someone asks me for recommendations i have nothing to offer. i get a lot of my favorites from tiktok. well.. actually.. most of them are from my friends! i absolutely love listening to the music they give me and thinking abt them the whole time. my friends are how i found laufey, tyler, lord huron, lil peep, and some others. music is probably my favorite thing. ever.

well i think im done yapping. for now. goodbye

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skylilac · 3 years ago

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Bestie now you get to drown in wlw recommendations. I feel bad but that's probably like 80% of what I read right now. And! There's some amazing wlw stuff, not even just say teen novels, even though I read a lot more of those.

Gearbreakers: Please please please read this book. It's a sci-fi dystopian novel that stars two sapphic protagonists and has some amazing worldbuilding. It's part of a duology but I haven't read the second book yet. Either way probably one of my favorite books right now.

Cinderella is Dead: This book sat on my shelf for months and I regret not reading it sooner. I kid you not, I read it in two days. The book itself is a fantasy book about a girl who doesn't fit into the "perfect world" that Cinderella left behind 200 years ago. She's grown up with the myth, but as her story progresses, she realizes that it might not be quite true. (Also I felt myself crushing on the love interest. Great descriptions.)

Now for more teen novels, since I'm a sucker for romance:

She Drives Me Crazy: Rivals to lovers between a basketball player and a cheerleader. It's a fake dating book. I actually think that's my taste in books. Sapphic fake dating books. I'll be honest, not my personal favorite, but still a good book nonetheless.

Some Girls Do: The first sapphic book I ever purchased. I read this at the age of twelve and most definitely shouldn't have, but it's really become a comfort book from me. It's a relationship between a trackstar who was kicked out of her catholic school for being gay, and a mechanic who's a badass. It really explores the differences in queerness for different people, along with unhealthy relationships.

I Kissed Shara Wheeler: I cannot tell you how good this book is. Enemies to Lovers and one of the most captivating stories I've ever read. It's one of the books that turns all the straight people not straight by the end, and I think those are honestly my favorite. Either way, I devoured this book as well, and I'd highly recommend it.

Hani and Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating: So this one's probably self explanatory by the title. But it's absolutely incredible. As someone who says they're not a huge fan of fake dating, I sure do read a lot of it, and this one comes in at the top. Simply an incredible book, and both characters are some that I still remember and think about, even years after reading the book.

drowning in wlw recs is the dream actually <3 thank you for these <33

gearbreakers sounds super cool actually?? im not normally a sci-fi person but i trust your taste and it looks rlly good anyway so!

and actually ive tried reading cinderella is dead bc the concept sounded interesting but i only got to read the first chapter before something else came up and i never restarted it 😔 id LOVE to finally read it completely

#i got a message 📜#book recs

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amethystblack · 3 years ago

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To the dev team: what is your fav part in the Reborn's story?

unfortunately due to FDA recommendations certain parts of this post pertaining have been forcibly redacted.

Ikaru- i mean let's be honest it's probably going to be [REDACTED] or the [REDACTED] but if i had to mention a part everyone (can) knows i like all the characters' internal monologues in the void and most parts involving titania. also the elite four + champion ...

Crim- most parts involving [REDACTED] i mean what? haha actual nonspoiler answer for pre-postgame is labradorra, i think it's hard not to just say "everything" i'm rlly fond of most of the story;; love [REDACTED] in labradorra so much;;, the [REDACTED]s are hella neat and manage to [REDACTED], i love the [REDACTED], it's just a really fun segment and i love the aesthetic of the map as a whole also [REDACTED] was so pretty no bias postgame i think [REDACTED], [REDACTED]was a lot of fun, [REDACTED]is maybe not your traditional definition of fun but gutted me pretty hard so i have to add that one, [REDACTED]bc first quest i worked on so more bias, and [REDACTED] bc im biased once again this answer is like 99% spoilers im sorry this is not a helpful answer but if it's a part people know def coming back to the city after it's rebuilt and seeing it all cleaned up and there suddenly being a ton to see and explore and it's all pretty was almost jarring the first time i played through and it still always makes me smile or the void the void is a good one

Jan- Hmmmmmmmmmm. I really love early game reborn, I dunno if that's a popular opinion or not but I always have a lot of fun.....

Azzie- I'm going to surprise exactly no one and say I love the tourmaline arc- especially on Reshi but also on Zek, there's a lot of environmental storytelling out there and I really love the Train Towners I've also got a soft spot for the entire glass workstation arc- I think the storytelling there is masterful. Apart from that... I like [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED] [REDACTED] and probably other things I can think of when it's not almost 3am, but they'd all be redacted too. Oh yeah definitely the e4 too Victory Road itself was fun too but more because I liked the [REDACTED] oh also i haven't seen it ingame but [REDACTED] made me cry when i read it so there's that

Perry- Imma agree with azzie, walking around with taka is one of my fav parts. I just love the concept of exploring with someone else, and taka is bab.

cass- i don't actually like things

Marcello- [14 PAGES OF CONTENT HAVE BEEN FORCIBLY REDACTED] But I think the Glass Workstation is very funky

Smeargletail- it's spoilers but kinda not if I just say El's elite 4 room, That doesn't sound spoilery does it like it's known he's in the E4 right? I'd also say [REDACTED] just because I had fun making that one

Autumn- While my favorite aesthetically will almost certainly be the [REDACTED] , but my favorite part that exists: Gameplay wise: The garchomp, finding silly ways to beat it every playthrough is one of the biggest deliberations i make. Meanwhile Doctor clownall getting hyper beamed through a wall was excellent

#reborn asks #ask ame

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oneandonlysoftie · 4 years ago

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Hi dear! I've seen you didn't talk much about Sadistic Beauty these days... What are your thoughts on ending and two side stories? Especially Wookying and Minho's one? Tbh I'm disappointed and disturbed :(

i had to step out of this story bc it was leaving me frustrated, irritated and disappointed not to mention very confused LOL. yep, im still fairly disappointed with where the author went with this. a major conflict that should or could have been in the main story was the whole drama including wookyung fighting with doona to get minho but it was swept under the rug only to return as some after thought as a side story (probably excluding doona). there was such a great opportunity to finish it in the main story but the author decided that minho had to suffer all of the consequences and everyone else is going scot-free LOL. truly a shame. i wasnt surprised that doona was ending up with haesol, never was into them, still not into them. i have a certain distaste for characters like haesol, he’d be best described as a simp. and i absolutely loathe simps lol. there’s a fine line with being there for someone and being there in hopes that smth more might change, he def wants to date doona and saying that he’s okay with how things are and if they don’t date, is basically a blatant lie to himself. if that was the case, he wouldn’t let her string him along and use him for sex. the feelings he has for her will just be kept in the back, but it will most likely resurface in some way or another. in the long run, it’d hurt him and that’s just not worth the hassle. obv since the writer wanted them to happen, he’s prob gonna get what he wants lol. i def found the whole rivalry btw donna and wookyung in order to get to minho way more fascinating, and wished it was explored more. now, the only thing im happy with is gyerin is probably getting her happy ending with the new girl. she’s also the only one who went “fuck this” once she saw doona wasn’t going to reciprocate her feelings, and im rlly glad she did that. at first, i didnt think much of her, but now, seeing how the story went (lmao), im all for gyerin being happy. and as for wookyung and minho, im interested in how their story will unfold. but i feel so so bad for minho, he was a jerk and an asshole i wont deny that, but he didnt deserve all of the hate and harm he got and still is receiving according to the side story preview. wookyung is still a great and fascinating character, i do like characters like him, but how he was used was just not satisfying. and it seems like there might be a case of stockholm syndrome coming up where he might fall for wookyung. i just wish doona had smth to do with it before she parted ways or she could have helped minho, but yeah. *shrugs* this story left me confused as to what the author is doing, there is wasted potential and opportunities at every corner. the plot goes one way then goes another to end on a weird note. i also think the whole gl, bl stuff was more of a fanservice thing and that’s probably why it’s more of a disjointed story? as in, i feel like the gl and bl stuff should either have been more of a focus and woven into the story or it should have been entirely separate so the author wouldn’t have to shove many things at once and just focus on one or two pairing. one thing i might add for the story is that it felt as if it was trying to make us surprised, but the so called “twists” that happened just made it more confusing and those probably shouldn’t have been there as they don’t add much to the story narrative. back to gyerin, you can see that gyerin and the new girl can have their own separate story from the start (she didn’t have much to do with the primary conflict and could easily have a flashback to doona instead of the whole fanservice lol). the same goes for wookyung and minho as well, and it’d have been perfectly fine. at the end you basically see three pairings, the m/f, the f/f and the m/m. however, we dont even know if minho is into men? so i’m not sure how’s that gonna be considered BL? then again, every pairing could have been in the main story, but it’s not? for some reason??? it feels as if the author wanted their pairings without putting in the effort of making it into the main story, hence the side stories or they just wanted to make it separated without putting too many characters in it. obviously, for wookyung and minho, there’s no way doona wouldn’t have done smth if it was fully explored in the main story, and it might have changed the ending too. there’s multiple ways the story could have gone, but this one was the only conflict that was much more interesting imo, but it wasnt used that much.

gyerin didn’t really have much to do there other than be lesbian fanservice for doona (and the audience, writer and maybe the artist too?), and to be some kind of support for haesol. that’s about it, so i can understand why she’d not have a full blown romance in the main story, but seeing that she keeps reappearing, she still could have her side story integrated into it. lmao i don’t even kno if doona is bi/pan lol or if she just had sex bc she was drunk then did it just for pleasure without being interested in women at all.

EDIT: iirc doona did get aroused seeing gyerin uh doing stuff, so it could be possible that she is interested in women, but maybe only sexually? although i still could be wrong lol and it could just have been a moment of “I’m straight, but horny and u’ll do for now”. she could be in the closet too, who knows.

overall, sadistic beauty had some interesting conflict, some good characters (ill never like haesol lol), good art and the storytelling by this artist is well paced, but the execution and where the story went leaves a sour taste in my mouth. would i recommend this story? absolutely not. it is so frustrating, and for what? i wish i had saved myself this headache from the very start but the art and the fact that doona was a dom was what reeled me in. i only came back to it to see if the writer redeemed their story in some ways, but... well... you saw how that went. i would follow the artist if i could, their art is beautiful. however, i cannot say the same for the writer. from my exp, it seems that many webtoons have good art, but the writing definitely leaves way more room for improvement. that said, i do hope ppl will learn that in order to make a great comic/webtoon/manga and so on, it is not only about pretty drawings. the story and writing should be up to par with the art. if not, it should be at least close to it. because the art might attract people, but if the story doesn’t resonate, if it doesn’t make much sense, then ppl are bound to leave and drop it. and what is a story, but pretty pictures and nothing substantial in it? nothing, but superficial beauty.

#sadistic beauty #rant #ramble #confused as fuck #wtf #why #sadistic beauty rant #spoilers #sadistic beauty spoilers #listen the amount of times i flipped my shit on this story would fill a whole bathtub

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collisiondiscourse · 4 years ago

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i have decided i am now going to blow up your inbox bc i csn i’m sorry codi focnnf

b u t!! anyway i’m going to rambling abt my new dad for all au [whixh was the au i sent you that ask abt]

alrighty so all might is now midoriya’s dad. that’s a thing. i like to think that inko and toshinori were high school sweethearts who broke up after graduation but met again when all might was called to recuse some hostages and inko was one of them!! anywho all might recuses her, they go on a coffee date, realize they’re still in love and start again

they get married and have izuku, who keeps inko’s maiden name [midoriya is now inko’s maiden name bc i do what i want]. he’s the cutest baby who has inko’s green hair, but has one blue and one green eye! [these are /important/] inko and all might talk abt maybe giving izuku all for one when he’s older, but they decide against it bc they don’t know if he’ll have a quirk or not

spoiler!! bitch baby has a quirk!! he gets a quirk that’s so much different than inko’s quirk and !!! ahhh!!! the basic explanation is that all might’s all of one genes mixed and then “corrupt” inko’s like 3 generation quirk-having genes or smth and izu has a very, very complex quirk now. it’s called astron, and astron allows him to fucking astral project into the center of the university and shit chxnc

astron works two different ways: using his blue eye he can project other people into his own personal astral plane and do whatever he wants. while the person’s physical body is still where it was, their mind is in the astral plane. if he uses his green eye, he can project himself to his astral plane and fuck around without consequences!!

[there’s an untold third ability of astron using both of his eyes, but izuku tried doing that when he first got his quirk and immediately fell into a coma for like a month? it was bad and his mind couldn’t handle the stress and dipped lol]

ANYWAY, izuku grows up with a bomb ass quirk and still has his kacchan with him thru his childhood so things are a lot different than canon? the wonder duo are little shitheads together and i love them, they wreck havoc and i love them

i have more ideas for this story but this is all i have for now, codi this is so long i’m sorry i’m blowing up ur inbox 🥺😭

me opening my askbox and seeing the length of this au: holy shit

me reading the actual whole au: HOLY SHIT

AJ I LOVE THIS HIGHKEY!!! I LOVE THE IDEA OF OP DEKU W A FUCKED UP QUIRK JUST TERRIFYING EVERYONE HE COMES ACROSS!!!! heterochromia is SO so good as a character design element and i LOVE THE WAY THIS IS IMPLEMENTED YELLS. I WANNA DRAW THIS SO BAD!!! THIS LOOKS SO COOL

(serious writing/plot below - blood and vomit mention)

oh god and now im imagining deku like. being this extremely feral and annoying lil shit whos extremely powerful and now bakugous got someone on his level so hes a lot more humble as hes growing up but also him and deku are the?? BESTEST OF FRIENDS. and i imagine when bakugou is being a little shit deku just. astral projects him out of his body for a while and apologizes to whoever kacchan yelled at LMFAO---bakugou comes back to his body and is all like “....fucks sake stop doing that”

AND THEN omfgkjfds imagine morally grey deku who does whatever he can to win?? he knew he wouldnt get into UAs hero course fair and square (all might offered him a recommendation but he declined because he wanted to get there on his own with kacchan) because robots didnt have souls he could astral project so he practices his quirks limits like YEARS prior and he tells bakugou about it but never rlly shows him but on the day of the entrance exam?

he shows up. everything goes as normal and he finishes the written exams and then moves on to the practical exam (still seperated from kacchan like in canon) and like. Every one goes dashing forward and deku doesnt really try to beat anyone. He waits until theyre all in the center engaging with robots when he walks to the center of the room.

and he sees the zero pointer in the distance.

“THE ZERO-POINTER’S HERE!” He yells and points at the gigantic mech heading their way. All at once everyone’s heads whip up to catch sight of the robot, enraptured by its sheer size and power.

As they all look to one direction, Deku makes eye contact with them and smiles.

All at once, every single participant in the area goes limp. Astron throws their souls into the astral plane with little fanfare and everyone watches in awe and annoyance as their bodies uselessly crumple to the ground from the outside. The green-haired boy is suddenly given free reigns of the arena and they seethe as one by one he deactivates or disables robots that were once under their purview.

(What some of the smarter ones notice however, is the way he seems to be leaving some stray 3 pointers untouched... almost as if he was doing the calculations in his head as he goes... on how to ensure the number one spot while others can still score points...?)

One by one however, they start struggling and reaching to reconnect with their bodies. Their gleaming bright souls bob up and down with frenzied energy and Deku feels it. He feels it like itches on his skin and goosebumps that turn into hills that dance up and down his back. He feels it like he feels his limit reaching.

Its still around 10 minutes though before he actually loses control and everyone comes back to their bodies. His quirk times out and almost like its angry, the astral plane takes his body in exchange for the dozens he kept in there. He gets sucked through and passes out while everyone else runs and destroys the remaining bots. It doesn’t matter though, because he knows he’s racked up enough points to stay on top. He lets himself rest and observes the blue-haired tall guy with engines who contemplates carrying Deku’s body to safety.

Until, he sees her.

Just under some rubble and very close to getting crushed by the Zero-Pointer’s foot, Deku spots a brown-haired young girl that he recalls has some kind of floating quirk. He sees as everyone runs past her, prioritizing their own safety instead of hers.

He makes a decision.

Quickly--recklessly, a familiar gruff voice says in his ear--he forces himself back into his body and looks around. He runs to the girl and attempts to dig her out from the rubble before she gets crushed. The robot comes ever closer.

Using the little strength and flexibility he’s learnt from years of sparring with Kacchan, Deku abandons her in favor of climbing up the broken concrete and metal to meet the robot’s visor. He knows he won’t save her by digging her out of there, but by god is he gonna let her get injured without a fight. These robots weren’t designed to kill, but they were designed to destroy.

Focus. Focus and listen to what’s around you, Izu-kun.

The world around him reduces to tunnel-vision and suddenly Deku is face to face with the Zero-Pointer. It stops, as if calculating how to discard of Deku without hurting him severely with its own strength.

Everything has life in it. You only need to focus and look for it.

Izuku Midoriya looks at the robot.

In a whirlwind of blue and green, he reaches inside of himself and searches for life. Cold steel and hard-wired code meet his gaze and he plunges even deeper.

Focus.

Then all at once, everything in his visions snaps into sudden clarity, like he’s never seen before. He feels everything. Sees Everything. Smells, tastes, hears--and he hears how the metal beneath him bends and groans. He feels how it winces and shudders. He sees it as it opens its maw and its visor bends in a facsimile of eyes, pleading him as if asking how?

The robot beneath him comes to life and stumbles back.

Quickly, he scrambles to the nearest ledge which happens to be a broken support beam. Distantly, he thinks he feels his arm being sliced open on the edge of it and the warmth of blood streaming down his side as he nearly falls.

“HEY! YOU WITH THE ENGINES!” He hoarsely screams to the still remaining, slack-jawed contestants. “I CAN’T KEEP THE ZERO POINTER DOWN FOR LONG! GO HELP THE GIRL AND TAKE HER TO SAFETY NOW!”

With a sudden burst of energy, the fellow participants start taking others out from the rubble while the blue-haired boy helps the brunette he was protecting earlier. As he watches them clear the rubble to drag her out, he feels a pang.

Who am I? a lost voice calls out. It’s raspy and almost-robotic sounding and only he can hear it. Where am I? What am I?

And Deku’s vision flickers.

In and out, he sees flashes through eyes that aren’t his. He hears voices that are simultaneously faraway and way too close for comfort. The world tugs at the sides of his perspective and a strain is pulling at the back of his head tearing his brain to shreds. He doesn’t know what he’s focusing or straining on, except that its working and keeping the zero-pointer down.

He grits his teeth. “Hurry the hell up! i can’t do this any longer--”

Bursts of pain appear behind his mismatched eyes and he wants to scream so bad and if he were looking any clearer he’d see the way that the zero-pointer thrashes on the ground in time with the pounding on his skull. Bile crawls up the back of his throat and Deku screams.

“SHE’S CLEAR! YOU CAN LET GO NOW, MIDORIYA-SAN.”

Izuku lets go and his vision goes black.

#ASKDZVJFXKS OK THIS TOOK.#A LOT LONGER THAN INTENDED #ok so gthis has plot now and now im thinking of. writing this actually #i love this au so much thank u aj i hOPE YOU DONT MIND THAT I WROTE FOR IT??? im sO SORRY??#anyway have more of my writing its unedited and garbage\#asks #yeets your boy #collisioncomrades #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #deku #izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #long post #cw long post #long post cw

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kommunistkaitou · 3 years ago

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My grandmother was supposed to get evaluated for ehlers-danlos but the doctor was an asshole to her so she walked out, so I was kinda like "fuck" bc if she got a dx for sth genetic obviously that'd really help me out, but I told my pcp so he gave me a referral to a rheumatologist, who I saw today

& the rheumatologist did the 9-point joint hypermobility exam on me which is basically, each of your hands, thumbs, elbows, and knees, plus your one back, gets a point if it hyperextends by a certain amt, & 5+ points is a hypermobility disorder. and i was judged to be 4 points, for my knees and elbows, my hands were unusual but 'subclinical' & my back was "normal" except what I tried to explain to him is that my back is actually not normal bc the reason I couldn't bend it that much is bc of a past injury and not bc my body isn't way too bendy

but then he basically assumed I was trying to Convince him to give me a dx of jhs/eds and started being like "idk why you want to be dx'd with an incurable disorder??? Like having it isn't a good thing" and im like yeah I know but like my joints are always subluxiatng or dislocating or otherwise painful and if it's not jhs I would like to know, why else do they do that

& he's like "well there's no sign of inflammation so it could be a chronic pain disorder, which I can't do anything about, but also like. a lot of your pain is in ur shoulders and the major flaw of the 9pt exam is that it doesn't really look at your shoulders or hips, so id recommend seeing a physical therapist for ur shoulders and doing very gentle weightlifting so your shoulders gain strength to help support the weak joints"

so like... Someone w the same amount of total hypermobility as me but who had ok shoulders and bad wrists instead of the opposite , or who hadnt had a back injury in fifth grade, would've been diagnosed but bc nobody looks at my shoulders im disqualified? Like ok...

So i say "well the surgeon who fixed my elbow said I should be rlly careful about how I exercise and to get a PT who's experienced w hypermobility so I don't hurt myself by accident" and the Dr is like "yeah that's true he's right" and i was like "so do u know any shoulder PTs like that" & he was like "idk but I have 2 patients with more severe hypermobility who see somebody in Boston so next time I see them I'll ask who it is, in the meantime I suggest you shop around" .

so I'm just like 👁️ 👄 👁️.

bc like.. ur the joint doctor why do you not know what physical therapy ur joint problems patients go to. Like what...

Anyway I convinced him to do a little diagnostic bloodwork as well even tho it'll probably come back normal bc then at least it's more info and I'll find out on the off chancs he was wrong about lack of inflammation ig idk it felt stupid to leave w no progress made tho

#medical /

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transhoverfish · 4 years ago

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What are some of ur fav subnautixa fics :0

OH I AM SO GLAD U ASKED....IM BOUTA SEND SO MUCH LOVE TO MY BELOVED FIC WRITERS....💙💕💛💜💛❤💕💕💓❤

SO the first one that comes to my mind is controlled descent by ryttu3k! both of us started writing our fics around the same time so it was the first fic i kept up with in this fandom!! its SO GOOD and i highly recommend to anyone who has not read it yet. its an au where most of the aurora crew survive and live on the ship!! :oo

SPEAKING OF RYTTU3K... their fic exhale is also one of my personal favs!!! its bart lives au, which is always the greatest au i could hope for! also they're an amazing writer omg, and theyre also rlly nice!! i highly highly recommend them!!!!! ik i already said that BUT FR THEIR FICS ARE AMAZING AND THEYRE A RLLY SWEET PERSON....

MOVING ONWARDS, I LOVE LOVE LOVE: we are different, but together we might just make it out alive! made by TheHitoro! once again an everyone (or at least more than ryley) lives au!! amazing characterizions, amazing writing, top notch au! seal of approval from me i love it so much please read it omg

and i absolutely could not leave out ioWall's Fish AU!! these are a collection of oneshots as opposed to one giant fic, great for reading in parts!! ALSO ITS SO GOOD!!! its got a lot of the same hcs as my own fic, and they even used the same names (WHICH I CRY OVER SO MUCH. IOWALL I OWE U MY LIFE I RADIATE HAPPINESS ANYTIME I SEE U IN MY NOTIFS) so im glued to this thing i ADORE it omg. check it out!!!! its one of the most underrated ones in this list buts its FANTASTIC :ooo

AND FINALLY one of my absolute favorites of all time, that ive read probably like 20 times over by now, degasi, also written by TheHitoro. can u tell i have a taste in my subnautica aus yet. hint: I LOVE THE DEGASI SO SO SO MUCH. i will read ANY fic that includes at least 1 member of the degasi. an au where they all live?? and dont get seperated?? and actually start to learn to get along?? IM SOLD!! IM SOLD 1000% I WILL READ ANYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH THE DEGASI. and extra extra bonus points for being amazingly written! the characters are absolutely on point, i can hear all the dialogue in the characters voices perfectly bc they NAIL the degasi. really good!!!

so basically i love loove everyone/someone else lives aus and family degasi,,,,everyone who contributes to those two specific au ideas i love u so much i owe u my life mwuah,,,

#I GOT SO INTO THIS ASK MY PHONE ALMOST DIED ANSWERING IT AKDNWKBRKS #ryttu3k and ioWall have tumblrs here too!!! go give them a follow!!!#i have incredibly specifc taste in fanfics like. in every fandom akdbakhrs. lucky for me the subnautica fandom feels the same!!#we were all just like 'hey. more than just ryley should live.' HELL YEAH!! HELL YEAH THEY LIVE!!!!!#ANYWAYS THIS KINDA TURNED INTO A RECOMMENDATIONS INSTEAD OF JUST MY FAVS... OOPS??#but also not oops bc fr fr these are all amazing and id die for all 3 of these writers #KWBFOWBRKAHKD #subnautica spoilers #kind of at least??#ask

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friiday-thirteenth · 4 years ago

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13, 20, 35, 44, 62, 70, 85, 99, 107, 113 :D

ah thank u for the ask!! my hands are shaking as I type this fun fact :)

13 - what tv show would recommend everyone to watch?

look. doctor who. it's actually surprisingly low energy to watch in many episodes, it's got good messages, it's really fun.

20 - what is ur favourite season?

winter. it's cold and windy and absolutely brilliant. I run hot, so the cold makes me rlly happy and also I lord it over everyone else when they're wearing their little jackets and still cold and im in a t-shirt and shorts. I find it rlly funny

35 - do u prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

behind it bc im just too sexy for any photo to do me justice 😔 also im good at taking photos and i like helping.

44 - what makes u smile?

my tumblr mutuals <3 y'all are amazing and brilliant and stupendous and also on crack most of the time. and yes, I am talking to u. if ur reading this, it's abt u. even if u aren't my mutual. take the bloody love and affection, please.

62 - do u like sunrises or sunsets better?

sunset bc it looks like the sky is bleeding light, and I do mean this in a completely non-edgy way. it's just... really pretty. and my room faces the sunset, and it is so beautiful, I love it.

70 - do u prefer to read on electronic devices or from a book?

books have smell and texture and don't hurt my eyes and they sound good and are just better. everything else sucks (for me) bc they hurt my eyes + aren't as much sensory input.

85 - what is ur favourite app?

Spotify bc I need music to function lmao.

99 - what is ur favourite piece of advice someone has given you?

at the time I fucking hated it, but it helped. "people are always going to take every opportunity to make you cry. don't let them." told to me be a substitute after my entire fucking class bullied me to the point of tears when I was twelve. first time someone hadn't made it my fault, and hadn't just told me to grow a thicker skin - she told me to become untouchable and so I did. and it doesn't matter to anyone who bullied me, but it sure as fuck matters to me and it's helped so much.

107 - do you believe that people are capable of change?

(not an attack on u just a lil rant) tf of course they are. firstly, that question is fucking stupid because it doesn't specify the type of change- physical, emotional, mental, behavioral etc. secondly, even if it did, it's still idiotic, simply because studies show that at points in our lives, we all change. we don't fucking stay as babies forever. I hate this question. we are constantly evolving and adapting to new situations each and every day. I pity the person who believes others cannot change, because they've clearly never thought a thought in their stagnant little life.

113 - what's the best decision you've made in ur life so far?

being friends with my bestie rn. she's absolutely fucking amazing and i love her so much. jfc my irl friends are all brilliant, actually.

I love everyone I label as friend, btw. so like. u guys get the love. 💞

#my hands were shaking bc uteraus fucking die

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seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana · 4 years ago

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The Girl in The Blue Dress

Chapter 12: The Queen Has Fallen

Part 2!

Heheh @megatraven >:)). From the title,,,we know what happens:(. It includes death like always (not too graphic bc Im not like that) but there is some blood mentioned but not rlly in detail. Just warning just in case any of y’all (or you) don’t like blood. And dang while writing this even I was like “wow,,,Apollo really loves her and I’m so sorry Apollo,,,”. And idk if you read the first chapter bc I didn’t see a reblog and if you want fluff,,,I recommend that chapter at least bgfrkef. This one is just angst so hehe >:)). I read through it all but I still sometimes miss things so I hope its good :’’)

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Rose lets out a shout as she runs towards the king. He meets her with his sword as she meets his. The sound of metal reverberated throughout the room, even louder in their ears. Rose winced at the sound, but pushed it away as she pushed down on the kings sword. He looked surprised and faltered for a second, but caught himself and pushed her away with all his force. She was pushed a few feet away from him, but caught herself before she could fall. The king laughed at her. The laugh sounded just like the one that she heard those years ago, the one that echoed in the chamber, and now she wasn’t afraid of the laugh. She let out another growl as she ran towards the king, her sword raised again. He met her sword again, and they kept doing this over and over again. The kings arms began to grow tired as her swings kept coming.

“What’s wrong, King? Can’t handle it?” She shouted as her swings came faster and harder, all of them fueled with rage. The king scoffed at her but didn’t reply.

After two more swings, the third swing of Rose’s sword managed to strike him on his side. The king let out a loud scream even scaring Rose for a second. He fell to the floor and Rose grabbed his sword and threw it to the other side of the room. Rose was panting and it felt like her lungs were going to explode, but she spoke.

“I’m sorry it had to come to this,” she said, sadness in her voice. Rose leaned against the wall near the door and looked at the king. “What are you doing?” The king was confused and angry and he noticed sadness on her face. “I didn’t want it to end like this, ya know? I wanted peace and to fight for it peacefully, but you couldn’t have that could you?”

He scoffed at her. “Why would I? It’s always nice to go down with a fight, and you seemed to enjoy bringing me down.”

“I enjoyed putting your reign to an end,” she said with venom. He tried to trick her into thinking she wanted to kill him, but she never did. She wanted peace. That’s all she wanted. He shrugged his shoulders awkwardly. He was sitting down with his back against the wall near the balcony. He was clutching his side and seemed to be in a ton of pain, but didn’t show it. His time was coming to a close, and she had to watch as he died. She wanted to get help, tried to say it wasn’t too late, but the nurses were far away and wouldn’t have time to come here, so it was too late.

She got up slowly and grabbed her two coins from her tiny pocket in the armor. It was gold coins and only two for him. She walked to him and laid him on his back and placed the gold coins on his eyes.

“May your ride to the Underworld be peaceful.”

She then carried herself down the multiple stairs, wincing at the pain in her feet and back. When she got in front of the castle, she went to the gardens and saw some soldiers on the ground, dead, or wounded, and some of them were standing up. She looked around and was proud of what just took place. But she couldn’t stand there for long before she heard a voice behind her.

“Sweetie...we did it!” Rose turned around to see her mother behind her with a bright smile on her face. She had a few cuts and bruises, but she was alive and Rose hugged her as tight as she could. “We did it, Mom,” she said as she cried. They both let out their happy tears as they hugged. Melody pulled away first and laid her hand on her daughters cheek. “I’m so proud of you, Rose.”

She kissed Rose on her forehead and gave her a little pat on her cheek. “Now, theres someone else who needs to see you. I think he’s still in the castle. We got separated. Can you find him while I take care of the injured?” Rose nodded at her mother and her mother gave her one last kiss on her forehead as she left to go find Apollo. She looked around the castle for awhile until she ran into Apollo. Rose screamed and Apollo screamed. However, when they noticed it was each other, they sighed and gave each other a tight hug.

“You’re real, right?” Rose whispered the question as she buried her head in the crook of his neck. Apollo rested his cheek on her head and ran his hand down her back as the other was tangled in her hair. “Yes, Rose. I’m real. We’re both here.” They stayed in that hug for a few minutes before they pulled away. They looked at each other before Rose leaned in and kissed him. Apollo felt blessed. He had a chance to kiss her again. He forgot about the dagger in his holster and just held her while he could. However, they pulled apart when they heard a whimper come from a corner. They were in the huge dining room and they saw a little girl standing in the middle. Her clothes looked torn, there were bruises on her face, and she was looking around with fear.

Rose and Apollo ran to the little girl and Rose crouched to her level. “Are you okay? When did you get in here?” The girl looked at Rose and Apollo felt a feeling. A little feeling as if he’s seen this girl before. “I-I don’t know!” Rose looked at her confused. “You don’t know?” The girl nodded and wiped at her eyes. “My names Lumie and I’m scared!” Rose shushed the girl as she began to cry and she got back up and held her hand out for her. “Come with me. We’re going to get help, this is all over.” Lumie stared at her hand before she looked back up at Rose and motioned for her to come closer. Rose did and the girls frown turned into a smile. “The war may be over, but its not over for you.” The girls hand was pushed onto Rose’s chest and it looked like something was pushed into her chest.

Rose let out a gasp and coughed as she took a few steps back. Apollo tried to go near her, but Rose held her hand out meaning for him to stop. Lumie laughed and Apollo looked at her. The girl now had pink pigtails, a purple dress on, and lace gloves on. This was the creature he’d been seeing. The creature that cursed Rose in the first place. “Aw, I got you again didn’t I?” Apollo was still in shock, so he didn’t move, he just turned his look back towards Rose. She had her head held down, hands around her throat, even if she wasn’t coughing anymore, and she was silent. “Rose?”

Rose looked up at Lumie, and Apollo noticed that her eyes were now white. Her pupils and beautiful, blue eyes were gone and her smile was now a frown. Her face that almost always shown happiness towards everyone...now was wearing a face of anger. And as she looked at her, Lumie laughed and pointed at Apollo. Rose’s gaze turned to his.

“Get him, Rose!”

And as Apollo heard Lumie say that, the promise he made to Rose came to the front of his mind.

“Please, Kill me if something goes wrong.”

Rose let out a grunt as she pulled out her sword and ran towards Apollo. He rolled away from her and got his sword out. He met Roses sword just as it was about to hit him. She was now stronger than normal and only grunts came out of her. “Rose! Calm down,” he said as she pushed her sword down harder. He pushed back and she skidded a few feet away. “Rose, calm down. We don’t have to fight.” Apollo held his hand out and put the other with the sword down. Rose just shook her head and ran back towards him. He met her sword again, and he realized what he had to do. He had to kill her. Every time she striked, Apollo would put his hand on her armor and unlock it slowly. It took 10 hits, his arms getting weaker every moment even with his God strength, and her chest plate was off, revealing her torso and the cloth she wore covering her upper chest. He then managed to make her lose her balance and fall to the ground. He knocked her sword out of her hand and he gets on top of her and holds her hands together above her. She was struggling against him, grunts and curses coming from her mouth. Apollo hated to see her like this and he promised her.

Apollo sees his chance and he pulls out the blue dagger from its holster, it still shining its beautiful blue, the blue that matches Rose. He looked into Roses eyes.

“I’m so sorry.”

He then took the dagger and plunged it right in her stomach. Rose’s curses and anger filled voice went quiet. Her eyes went wide and her mouth was parted letting little whimpers seep through. As Apollo stared her in the eye, he slowly saw her blue eyes fade back in. When they were finally fully there, he knew Rose was back...and he started shaking. What he had done caught up to him. However, before he could say anything or do anything, Rose looked him in the eye and she smiled. She smiled at him as she was in pain. Apollo was holding her hands together with his godly strength to stop her from attacking him earlier, but he let her hands go and they went to his cheeks. She stroked one cheek with her thumb.

“Thank you.”

The tears Apollo held back slowly dropped down his cheeks as he heard her thank him.

“How can you thank me?!”

Rose would hold back the whimpers of pain as she laughed, even though it hurt so bad.

“You kept your promise to me. How can I not thank you for that? Now,” She let out a gasp of pain as she tried to move, “hold me?” She asked as if he would say no. He got off of her slowly trying not to hurt her. He got on his knees and pulled her so he was holding her in his arms. She let out little whimpers of pain whenever she moved, but she tried to hold them back as best as she could. She couldn’t show weakness...even in death.

“Rose, I-I’m so sorry. I couldn’t see a way out and I’m so sorry.” Apologies poured out of Apollo. Rose just smiled again and shushed him.

“It’s okay, Apollo. I think I always knew it would end like this. End with me losing it somehow...and then dying. But I never imagined a handsome man beside me,” she said with a little chuckle. She then laid her hands against the dagger that was still in her stomach. “And it sucks how my dagger will now be ruined...”.

Apollo let out a pained laugh. “I-I guess, yeah. And I’m sorry it has to be my fault.”

“Apollo,” Rose said with that tone of anger. That tone she used when Apollo was blaming himself for something that wasn’t his fault...but this time it was his fault. However, Rose looked up to to the ceiling instead of saying anything after his name. Her eyes seemed a little unfocused, which made a Apollo worried. She was close. He didn’t need to be Hades to know that she was almost gone.

“I wonder what will happen after this,” Rose said after she let out a little whimper. She took in a shaky breath and continued. “Who will be the queen? What will happen to the people? Where will I go?”

“Where will you go?”

Rose looked at Apollo and was curious. “I’m dying. I’m gonna go somewhere...where do you believe we go?” Her question was genuine and Apollo knew Rose was scared. She believed in the gods but she doesn’t know the answers to everything. Heck, he doesn’t even know why she worships the gods. They don’t deserve it, but she kept hoping. Praying. And this is where it lead her.

Lead her to death...again, and again, and again, and again.

Apollo looked up at the ceiling as he thought. “Well, the underworld.”

“What will happen?” Apollo would look back down at Rose and shrug his shoulders. “I’m not sure, my dear. I’m not Hades himself,” he said, but he now knows a question he will be asking Hades when he goes back to Olympus. Rose lets out a breath through her nose along with another whimper.

“You know what I wish I could say to the Gods?” Rose looked him in the eye and he saw tears. Her blue eyes were glossy and he was glad to see it like that. He thought it was better than seeing her blue eyes erased, making only her eye visible and white, and full of anger. He shook his head and Rose looked back up at the ceiling.

“I’d ask them why.”

“Why?”

“Why did they abandon us? Why do they not hear us?” Rose’s voice cracked as her tears fell down her cheeks and her voice began to lower in volume. “I don’t know, Rose. I wish they were here now,” he said, as his own tears fell down his face. Rose noticed his tears and made a motion with her hand for him to lean down. He listened and Rose put one hand on Apollo’s cheek. She looked him in the eye and he saw love there, and she kissed his tears away. She was kissing his cheeks, under his eyes, his nose, and then his lips. She kissed every part of him, and when she pulled away, she said one more thing.

“I love you. Don’t forget that. And please,” she paused as she let out a whimper as she moved his hand down to her dagger, “don’t lose this. I know it’s a bad memory, but I don’t want anyone else to have it, okay? Promise me. Promise,” she said with urgency as she tightened her grip on his hand. She then felt her heart rate go up as if it was getting its last pumps in. Her vision began to blacken at the edges, blurrier as well. Her hearing sounded like she was under water, but she could still hear Apollo as he rested his forehead against hers, his last tears falling onto her cheeks, and whispered, “I promise, Rose. I’ll love you forever.”

She smiled at him one last time and didn’t even know how serious he was. He would love her forever, but she didn’t need to know what he was right now. He just wanted her to have peace. As she closed her eyes and squeezed his hand for the last time, she stopped breathing and her pain stopped. When he saw her chest not rise anymore, he looked up and wanted to scream, but it couldn’t come out. As he was holding her tight to him, he heard rushed footsteps coming from behind him that stopped before they reached him.

“Apollo? She finally found you!” It was Melody. Her voice sounded so worried and happy that she found him, but once she saw him curled over a body, her heart dropped. She ran to him and fell to her knees beside him. She began to shake as she saw her daughter, her dear daughter, pale and covered in blood...and dead. She noticed the dagger in her stomach and saw how Apollo and Roses hands were entwined together. Apollo couldn’t look Melody in the eye. He wouldn’t dare. He just looked down at Roses face, as if he could bring her back. But he couldn’t no matter how hard he wished he could. Melody let out a shaky breath, and sobs quickly came from her and Apollo still couldn’t look at her. He didn’t know how he could. He killed her daughter. However, he felt another hand grip his own. He finally looked over to Melody and noticed her nodding her head at him.

“I know, Apollo. I know,” she said, her voice soft and hoarse. He saw cuts and bruises on her face and knows that everyone has suffered in this. As Melody pulled Apollo close to her and rested her forehead on his shoulder, he began to cry quietly again.

After a few more minutes, Apollo slowly took the dagger out of Rose, as if she would wake up and scream how it hurts. Once he took it out, he put it in its holster and picked Rose up. He could still hear her cries when she tried to move, but he held her bridal style as he and Melody walked back to the group. Once they were there, people looked over to Apollo and saw Rose in his arms. Apollo sucked in a breath and let it out.

“The queen has fallen.”

It was silent in the garden, but many had looked like they wanted to speak. Then, sobs were heard as Apollo laid Rose on one of the bed rolls they had laid out for the wounded. People gathered around and stood in silence, sat in silence, or sobbed. They never called her the queen since she wanted to be one of the people she led, but she was their queen...and now she has fallen.

HEHE MEG!! ITS SO SAD AND I WAS LIKE “wow,,,I really wrote that,” LIKE BFIFIHO. I hurt myself but hey thats the point of this series. But it gets better and honestly a little cooler (in my opinion) in her final lifetime >:))). But anyways, I hope you enjoyed this and sorry for it being so long again :’). I love writing love stuff so much, so hope it’s not too long for your taste.

And sorry this took SO long to come out. I’ve literally had it sit in my drafts for so long jkefd. ANYWAYS YEAH LOVE YOUUU.

#my writing #The Girl in The Blue Dress #hMmMm. I'm actually sad bc hMMM APOLLO IM SO SORRY #But her final lifetime I've been able to think of and honestly..it's kinda cool. And it goes completely away from Greek #Mythology...like this whole series has lol. But it makes NO sense if you pay attention to the Greek mythology #so we're gonna act like it doesn't exist rn. But yeah loveee youuu. Goodnight <:3.#WELL ACTUALLY IT KINDA GOES ALONG WITH IT??? IN A WAY??? HMMM...my thoughts ramble

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phoenixfangs · 4 years ago

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okay this post got a little out of hand so its going under a readmore, im rambling abt irredeemable media and purity culture and the critical culture on tumblr and how it jazzes me up and infuriates me at the same time. i mention killing stalking specifically so if u dont wanna see that go ahead and skip this one

ive been a little fascinated by the concept of "irredeemable media" lately and like. i think we as a community on tumblr r trying so hard to compartmentalize media into only two boxes: problematic and unproblematic. and i think thats A Little idiotic LMAO

oftentimes were not even digging into the material we just See smthn like a distasteful trope or a -phobia or -ism Somewhere in the material and brand it problematic, and leave it at that. most "critics" (i hesitate to call them that but i dont have a better word) on this site dont even watch or read the thing theyre talking abt -- its valid to not Want to read smthn like killing stalking but at the same time how many ppl decrying it as The Worst Possible Thing have read even a chapter of it? my guess is very few

(this is NOT an endorsement of killing stalking btw, this is what started my fascination with "irredeemable media" so i am currently reading it to see if it rlly is that bad, and like. yeah its p god awful LMAO i cant in good conscience even recommend it for others to review/critique it its so vile. i want to make it abundantly clear that i am NOT reading it to enjoy it, i am NOT enjoying it in really any way while i am reading it, i think its disgusting in the way it depicts homosexuality, abuse/sexual assault and the way it treats women as a whole. i just wanted to read it bc now i have proof to back up any points i happen to make abt it being a disgusting story, bc im the type of person that wants to experience the Thing b4 i give genuine criticism of it)

ANYWAY killing stalking is maybe not the best example of my point bc even if u havent read it its not hard to accurately criticize it bc it rlly is Just That Awful but its what i brought up bc its what im investigating rn (i dont even wanna call it 'reading' bc thats embarrassing that im reading it LOL im investigating im doing research on killing stalking this is a scientific venture of mine), but like ill see smthn labelled as "irredeemable media" and i think "hm. has this person ever engaged with the material? how do they know its irredeemable? did they actually read/watch/whatever or did they see a lot of ppl talking abt it on tumblr?"

and like i said, i have no problems w anyone who looks at smthn labelled "irredeemable" and decides they dont want to engage w it, i couldnt give less of a shit what other ppl do with their time at this point in my life, i just think the critical culture on tumblr makes it maybe not the best place to get accurate, authentic criticism of things that have problematic elements (or anything rlly, the critical thinking skills on tumblr r subpar at best even when it comes to "good" or "acceptable" media)

and anyway im more fascinated w the culture of engaging w "irredeemable media": if u consume X media that is bad then, by the transitive property, u r bad. THAT is what fascinates and infuriates me abt the critical culture on tumblr. am i a bad person now bc im reading an Objectively Problematic comic as research, even tho literally nothing else abt my behavior/thoughts/morals has changed besides the mere existance of this comic in my life? will i be viewed as a dangerous person bc im reading an Objectively Problematic comic even though im actively decrying it and authentically telling u how bad it is and how much i dislike it and dont want others to read it because its so bad?

bc its not just media we try to box up into "problematic" and "unproblematic", its consumers too. for some reason when it comes to things deemed "irredeemable", if ANYONE engages with the source material, they r suddenly branded as "irredeemable" too, and any nuance of the situation is sucked out into the vacuous wasteland of media criticism on this website. obviously i think it goes without saying that bad media attracts bad ppl but at the same time, we make that assumption abt EVERY consumer of bad media, and i think thats unfair and narrow minded, esp through the lens of criticism

ppl want a moral high ground so badly, they want to feel superior to others so badly, that they jump at the opportunity to call someone an X apologist bc they consumed a media one time. purity culture on this website makes media criticism so difficult and toxic and its. ITS INTERESTING. ITS FRUSTRATING. I LOVE AND I HATE IT. i want to study some of u ppl like animals, the way u react when u hear someone watched hetalia one time or read homestuck one time or laughed at family guy one time. if i had the time i would Genuinely write a think piece on this phenomenon bc its so fascinating to see ppl playing into this purity culture and trying to one up each other by saying "well i NEVER watched this or read that so im morally superior to this other person who did"

i guess my point is, purity culture goes beyond just wanting pure, wholesome media with no flaws and no problematic elements (which is impossible btw bc everybodys standards r different) for the sake of. idk -- ppl like that would claim its to create a positive non-toxic space for folks in margianalized identity groups or smthn probably but idk if i buy that from ppl who behave in such a self righteous, self fellating sort of way -- but that demand for purity extends to consumers of problematic media as well and, who is it passing judgement on those ppl from on high, like a god? the same idiots sitting at their computers reblogging "x my beloved" gifs, same as anyone else

i guess what im actually saying is that NOBODY on this website has any right to pass such harsh judgement on anyone else, nobody anywhere has the right to feel superior to anyone else just bc they only watch pure childrens cartoons and not terrible problematic things like game of thrones or whatever

#mine #if u read this mess then thank u #if u wanna argue abt any of it with me please send me messages to argue abt it #ive been writing this thing for nearly 2 hours now im avoiding work pls argue w me abt the value of a comic like killing stalking #and if it even has any value

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zettaiunmeis · 5 years ago

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zamaya 4 the ship questions?

So... this is late af,,, im sorry?

Who said “I love you” first

Zari. When they start their relationship, zari’s kinda the nervous one. shes not good w feelings and shes pretty inexperienced with romance, and in general, shes not particularly the kind of person whod be well equipped to deal with the l-bomb and amaya knows this. so even though amaya has always felt that pull between them, something that even the connection between their totems couldnt fully explain, she doesnt say anything, even though shes loved zari almost as long as shes known her. but as their relationship progresses, zari becomes more confident in herself, in her own ability to process feelings, in her own capability to be an adequate romantic partner, but amaya still... she isnt sure. she knows zari is more confident, understands that shes in a better place, emotionally, than before, but shes still afraid that saying i love you too soon will scare zari away, so she keeps it to herself, even as zari starts working up the courage to tell amaya she loves her. and like, since this is zamaya, i feel zari’ll end up saying i love you over something small but meaningful? like, idk maybe right before they go to sleep, when both of them are like half asleep and then amaya wakes up in the middle of the night like, wait a minute did she jus- and then she shakes zari awake and in the midst of zaris complaints about being woken up, she almost yells i love you too. and zari, still sleeping, is just like, neat. and then she’ll wake up the next morning and fucking kick herself because amaya just told me she loved me and i fucking said neat

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background

Both. In 2042, taking pictures could be a safety hazard -- if you lost it or if your camera was hacked, someone might be able to use the information in it to target you or the people you care about -- so Zari never really had the opportunity to have a picture of her family as her background or anything. So, when Zari joins the legends, she gets Gideon to help her get some surveillance shots that were taken of her and her brother by ARGUS drones to set as her phone’s background. But after she gets together with Amaya and sort of deals with her issues (thanks to the Bureau issued therapist that Ava recommended they go to), she decides to change the background to a picture she has of Amaya at the very top of a 1960s ferris wheel, bathed by the light of a sunset. And the next week she changes it to a picture of Amaya laughing at something Nate says while they’re all getting ready in the fabrication room. And then she changes it again and again basically once a week because she finds herself taking as many pictures as she can of everyone she cares about -- just in case -- and that means an abundance of pictures of Amaya.

When she finds out that no-one ever really taught Amaya to chance the background of her phone screen (it wasn’t intentional -- Nate meant to teach her but Constantine challenged him to a naked yoga contest and he had to accept), she takes it upon herself to do so and takes a silly selfie of the two of them on Amaya’s phone and sets it to the background. Amaya doesn’t really change hers. She likes that particular photograph because Zari is smiling widely in it, and she looks so??? happy????

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror

Zari. she wakes up about forty minutes after amaya tries -- and fails -- to wake her up before going for her hour long run/training with sara, and she just goes and gets ready. but she does timing stuff so that she ends up leaving the bathroom around five minutes before amaya gets back, and she leaves messages in the fog bc she knows amaya loves seeing them

Who buys the other cheesy gifts

Zari. Again, this comes down to the fact that zari just didn’t grow up with a lot of material possessions, so its like, she wants to spoil her gf and shower her with presents and stuff.

Who initiated the first kiss

Amaya. Idk what id go with for the first kiss for these two, but like,,, whatever scenario it is, i feel like at the beginning of their relationship zari’s the one whos like “but does she like me?” when amaya is literally asking if she can kiss her (consent is sexy babes) so, amaya sort of ends up initiating the first kiss through zaris gay obliviousness

Who kisses the other awake in the morning

Amaya. Shes the early to rise type, and zaris the fuck that sunshine shit type, and that means that amaya spends about ten minutes every morning trying to wake up zari before she goes on her daily run (which, when they’re on the ship, equates to going to the lab/gym/jail cell room thing (rlly what the fuck iS that room?)) before giving up and leaving for her hour long morning workout with sara. but that “try to wake up zari” routine doeS, in fact, involve copious amounts of kisses.

Who starts tickle fights

Zari. Amaya isn’t great at most video games, but after Zari starts teaching her, she has these spurts of like,,, extra luck! and stuff like that. so whenever amaya’s winning, zari will drop her controller and start tickling her and amaya will start protesting between laughs that itS!!! UNSPORTSMANLIKE!!!! and zari will kiss her and then the tickle fight will.... no longer be a tickle fight.

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower

Amaya… but only sometimes. like, sometimes, she’ll get back from her run/workout a bit earlier than usual, so those times, shell go and knock on the bathroom door and most of those days, zari will complain for an hour about how her hands are now wrinkly and soft and how it makes practicing the violin so!!! much!!! harder!!!!

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch

Amaya. She really likes cooking and baking and stuff, and zaris the kind of person who goes and sits at her computer with like,,, a party size bag of chips and finishes them all off in an hour and wishes she got something more, but is too involved in her work to want to like,,, physically? get up and get them? and amaya knows this so she’ll make something amazingly good and like, stand at the door while zari is working so she can drag her out for lunch bc otherwise zaRI YOULL STARVE

Who was nervous and shy on the first date

Zari. She’s never really? Done this whole... romance thing. Like has she liked ppl? Yes. Has she ever acted on her crushes? hA HA HA. So she kind of feels lowkey inexperienced compared to amaya, and she tries to hide it, but its clear shes feeling a bit insecure abt everything.

Who kills/takes out the spiders

AMAYA. Shes an animal goddess so she doesnt even have to take it out. She just sort of says “hey would you mind moving so i can get to the flour?” and its just.... does? meanwhile, zari, a vigilante with avatar powers, whos looked into the face of evil fairy godmothers and lived to tell the tale, is cowering in the background, telling amaya to “gET RID OF IT, BABE, IM BEGGING”

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk

Zari doesn’t drink, so I guess Amaya, but she doesn’t get drunk very often so. Its mostly just the two of them cuddling and laughing while the rest of the team gets drunk off their asses and starts doing stupid shit. Zari films everyone else tho lmao, and she gets Gideon to play the video of their antics at the highest possible volume while they all file into the galley with hangovers at the next mealtime

#legends of tomorrow #zari tomaz #amaya jiwe #Zamaya #amari #Zari x Amaya #asks #send me asks #hi i love them #these are my emotional support wlw ships

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dolansmith · 5 years ago

Text

Thoughts on the “Trisha Drama”

I’m going to preface this with my previous thoughts of both sides. I didn’t know who Trisha was until after I found out about the vlog squad about a year ago. I didn’t mind her, i thought she brought out an interesting perspective to the group. Then I thought she was literally off her rocker.

I loved the vlog squad bc I found them in a really difficult time in my life and they kept me from getting too deep into a depression. While I saw some of their mistakes, I saw the best in them all and hoped for change or at least some kind of accountability.

This is gonna be really long and idk if anyone is even gonna read this/care lol but Im just so frustrated with a lot of the people that are into the vs. Like after really looking into everything that happened, I felt kind of ashamed to be backing the vs bc they’re doing some fucked up stuff tbh.

So lets do a basic rundown of mistakes made.

Mistakes in their public relationship: -Trisha: made sexual jokes about jason’s friends, started arguments about her insecurities instead of starting a conversation. -Jason: made sexual jokes about girl’s a decade younger than trisha (and 2 and a half decades younger than him), would complain about having to go do things trisha liked doing and would pout the whole time (i.e. disneyland and a couple of the hamilton viewings), would egg on trishas insecurities, literally dumped her on a daily basis and call her crazy when she voiced said insecurities and then would basically get back together within an hour and practically give everyone whiplash, also talked about her weight and eating habits CONSTANTLY (fucking dick) -David: inputted himself in their relationship, recorded their fights and encouraged their toxic behavior to both his friends and his audience

Mistakes in the “official” breakup: -Trisha: talking about jason’s ex and kids, comparing david to ted bundy (a lil wild but tbh not that big of a deal bc no one actually believed thats what she meant but anyway), the brandon thing (we’ll come back to this) -Jason: continuing to make jokes about fucking a 19/20 year old despite his gf saying she didn’t like it, not putting an end to David “pressuring him” to making said jokes, the brandon thing -David: ignoring his “friend” when she said not to put something in his vlog, putting his image and career first

Mistakes after: -Trisha: constantly going on rants about david and Jason. -Jason: staying in contact with trisha secretly. (ill get back to this too) -David: putting his image above all else.

Now we’re going to get into some uncomfortable hot takes. I’m gonna get a whole lotta hate from stans but tbh idc anymore

The Brandon Thing (I’ve done some digging since her video exploding at Jeff):

-Brandon began a relationship with a high schooler. She was underage the first time they had sex. There’s receipts and timelines set up. I’d recommend Petty Paige’s Youtube video on it for specifics. -Lot’s of vs fans say she only brought it up when her and Jason ended so that meant she didn’t really care, but I’d like to point out that she has stated (on more than one occasion) that she voiced her thoughts on this multiple times to the group in Private and no one cared. Y’all are always going on about how she should say whatever she has to say in private but when she does and is ignored, what then? Just a thought. -Let’s also bring the rest of the vs up in this. How come none of them ever said anything? They’re the ones still out here tolerating him. Pretty hypocritical. I’m not gonna aim anything at the girls bc none of them have Brandon in their videos but the guys? Jeff, Jason, David, Todd and I think Scott too, have all had Brandon in at least one video. They’re out here talking shit about Trisha amongst each other but are friends with a predator? Lmao Okay, cool.

Jason Keeping in Contact for months:

-This was dumb. -As someone who has suffered from mental health issues and has been in a mental hospital and suffered from attachment AND abandonment issues, Trisha would’ve been better off had Jason ended things and kept them that way. Instead, he ended their public relationship and friendship. He kept her a secret from even his “friends” and then dragged on their “friendship” for months. For what? He should’ve just given her her things and closure and kept it pushing. -On that, why did he keep her belongings for so long and refuse to give it back until she said something public about it? He ignored her calls and texts about her very expensive things for weeks. Then she made a video calling him out on it, and she got her stuff back. -I’m seeing a pattern here, aren’t you?

The Jeff Thing (did some digging on him too...by digging i mean google):

-This one makes my blood boil for several reasons. ESPECIALLY AFTER TODAYS VIDEO. It rlly put everything into perspective omg. -The starbucks story that Trisha told was the same everywhere: ‘I saw Jeff at Starbucks and said hey. He ignored me and was such a pussy he left his order at the counter after having paid.’ His masculinity is SO FRAGILE that he twisted it into ‘I’m not gonna be fake with someone who fucked over my friend. Can’t fuck them up either tho lol’ and ‘i’m not gonna make shit easy on you, i’m gonna make them feel weird’. What a baby lmfao -His assault joke rubbed me the wrong way. I know Jeff’s schtick is the whole “I was in jail for a few months and I was a drug dealer I’m big and scary” blah blah blah. Listen, I’ve met men that have been in jail longer (he was in for only 4 months he once said I think) and had worse upbringings than he did and HAD to do some of the shit Jeff was doing (which lemme remind yall, was on his own accord). The men that I know that have lived similar and worse lifestyles than Jeff, would never and I REPEAT NEVER, make a joke about assaulting a Woman over “fucking my friend over”, when the situation was what it was. Which was: an exposé, basically. That’s some petty shit, it’s for the birds. (Also, Todd and Jay’s jokes about the assault joke? Ain’t it. They were just as bad as Jeff’s original joke.) -Do y’all know what Jeff’s been to jail for? He tried to assault someone that worked at a 7-Eleven after he and his dumbass friends were fucking around in the store and got yelled at and ended up assaulting a woman walking by. -He also talked about her mental health issues. Maybe he wasn’t talking about her specifically, but it was REAL specific. He said that it was crazy that a “psychopath” that’s been in a mental hospital still had a platform on youtube. That they shouldn’t have one. Trisha made a really good point of, “some could say the same about your time in jail.” Because they could. And mental health can be managed. So can your outrageous anger issues, Jeff. This was really ignorant on his part. -I also want to remind everyone about the time he said he didn’t understand how men could be sexually harassed. That all you had to do was say no. -He says he likes to “make things awkward” and make everything a joke when really he’s just being ignorant and doesn’t want to get real hate when he gets inevitably called out

Trisha’s “Dirt”:

-Trisha doesn’t know anything that the rest of us don’t. We’re just all IGNORING it. Why? Bc David’s charming and Todd and Jeff are pretty? Ridiculous. This is the last vlog squad post i’m going to make because I’m done. So the following is going to be a rundown on the “dirt” on them that made me come to the decision that I wouldn’t be supporting them anymore. I’ll also put my own thoughts and comments underneath in case y’all are curious. Staying silent about these situations is the same as complacency. -Brandon Calvillo: Covered this but to reiterate, he dated a high schooler and slept with her/dated her knowing her age. He then lied about it in a video to cover his tracks. *I am well aware that she was months from being 18. This doesn’t make it okay. What does a 26 year old have in common with a 17 year old? And just because this is the first girl we know about, doesn’t mean she’s the first at all or even the last. -Durte Dom: He was accused of assault at vidcon. *This hasn’t been confirmed. But it also hasn’t even been discussed. This girl is getting hate from vs stans and the vs have stayed silent. I can understand not wanting to show attention to people who make accusations for clout, but assault is serious and should at the Very Least be acknowledged privately or legally bc it could be considered slander. Don’t let your fans (or your friend’s fans) do your dirty work. -Jeff Wittek: He has major anger issues. Makes jokes about assaulting women after actually having assaulted one in the past (accidentally but doesnt take away from what he did) and has made jokes about sexual harassment against men not being viable *tbh he has a “pretty white boy complex”. Meaning he knows that he can say and do what he wants and most people will let it slide bc he’s a pretty white boy. No education needed. -Jason Nash: Is friend’s with a predator, is quite possibly setting an awful example to his kids, namely his daughter. *Listen. I’m a feminist, a woman should be able to decide what to do with her body after she turns 18. But being groomed and hit on by grown ass men when you’re barely legal, ain’t it. If you want to and feel ready, there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it BUT 9.9 times out of 10, that fucks a woman up in the future. One day, she is going to see her dad hitting on a 19/20 year old Tana and see that her dad’s 26 year old best friend dated a 17/18 year old and lied about specifics and might think that’s normal and how men should treat her. I won’t support that shit.

And as for all the other member’s of the vs, they either don’t care enough about what their friends or friends’ friends are doing, or they’re not bothering to even consider it’s happening and that isn’t cool either.

Be better.

As for Trisha, she’s had her own faults and fuckups, no doubt about it. I’m not a big fan of her content but i FELT for her. Her name has been dragged through the mud because of this more than anything else and it doesn’t sit right with me when her only real fuckup in THIS situation was bringing the ex and kids into it the way she did. Everything else either could have been avoided or she had a right to say to the public since they put everything about the relationship out in the open as much as she did. If Jason and David had reached out and admitted their own mistakes and asked her to stop talking about them online the way she was, she probably would’ve chilled out. What happened, what they and their fans (us) have done has been nothing short of traumatizing, no doubt. The way these 30 year old boys (Jeff, Todd, Scott and Jay) are reacting to her? They’re the real joke if we’re being honest.

Note: I’d also like to say that if you do still support them and have differing views than I do, I’ll respect you and your views no matter what. Everyones entitled to their opinion and thoughts. These are just mine.

#trisha paytas #vlog squad #jeff wittek #david dobrik #jason nash #durte dom #brandon calvillo #scott sire #most of these men are manipulative af #as much as i love zane matt and heath #they dont speak up either #neither do any of the women which is borderline heartbreaking #rant #I did my best to make everything clear but if theres any confusions or questions or if you just wanna have a discussion about it lmk #Discontinuing Speak Now.

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