#im just hoping they’re okay bc ik ppl aren’t out there looking out for them it’s all fucked up

[maiteo]

I love shakira but im not in the mood for this😭

[wellbafineline]

could you write some Harry fluff about Harry comforting the reader after she struggles with body insecurity?

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A/N - I hope i did this justice, i tried not to dive too deep into body image as ik it can be triggering for some ppl, and i also didn't want to get it completely wrong bc i know one person's experience / feelings aren't universal, so this is more along the lines of the press body shaming the reader and h comforting her, hope this is still okay tho!! tysm for the request!

And a side note, thank you so much for kind words, likes and reblogs on my first piece of writing, it means a lot !!<3

side , side note this is not proofread so i apologise for the extra long sentences or if some things are a bit roughly worded lol.

You were aware of Harry's exes, you couldn't really not be they were some of the world's biggest supermodels, it's just you wish you could, you were just going to read the one article that your best friend had sent to you about you and harry when you went out to dinner. the original purpose of her sending it was to say how hot you looked, it was when harry had taken you out for your 6 month anniversary dinner, but a couple of sly facebook comments and the suggested stories tab had made for good tools to help your spiral. 

It wasn't explicitly written neither in the articles or comments, but the message was clear.

‘Out of everyone he could get why would he choose ,,, her’

Or ‘do you think this was a pity date, no way she's actually his girlfriend’, and a multitude of a lot more upfront comments about how you're not harrys ‘usual type’ so there's not a chance you're actually together.

You knew that you were by no means a supermodel, but you’d never felt this unattractive, or at least not for a while. Of course it's an insecurity, Harry could get any person he wanted but he chose you, and you don't like to dwell on the why for too long, but now it was eating you up.

Looking them up, you were different in every way to Harry's previous relationships, it made sense that the media would compare you, but did he?

Your thought was interrupted by the thump of Harry's shoes and bag hitting the hallway floor.

‘Babe, you here? Got takeaway on the way home, save us cooking, the chinese you wanted to try.’ he called out to you making his way to the kitchen.

You sighed and got up to follow him, meeting him at the island where he's now plating the food and giving him a peck on the cheek.

Harry turns to you looking for a moment before you meet his eyes, ‘y’alright?, normally nearly jump me when i'm home early and bring food’ 

Moving to sit on the counter, opposed to leaning against it with Harry looking down at you. You debate not telling him, just saying unis stressful and you've got an assignment due on monday, and dealing with it by yourself, having a cry when you get back to your flat and it'd be done with, he'd never have to know it bothers you. Only he knows there's no assignment and he also knows you pretty well to see through the white lies. 

Harry moves rubbing up and down your thigh as you begin to tell him,

‘‘Just saw some stuff online, got sent some of the pictures of us out to dinner last week and they came with some lovely comments about me, and you and us, and why you'd choose me’ you can feel yourself rambling at this point but you can't help it the jar was open now, ‘how, you could really have anyone in the world you wanted, which you could y’know, you're harry styles and apparently, according to most of the internet im not worthy, and i know i'm not a supermodel so you don't have to feel bad and tell me i am i just need to get it out of my system so im not stressing all week about everything’

Harry, who looks clearly shocked by your sudden explosion and also like he's about to cry at the same time, suddenly crushes you into a tight hug.

‘Y’know i dont give a shit what them gossip rags say about us don't you? That even if what you said is true and I could have anyone, I'd still want you.’ He’s moved back slightly, now looking at you so intensely with utter determination to expel these thoughts from your head. You nod weakly as he carries on ‘there's a reason that they’re exes, you're who i want, and don't know about you but this is the best relationship i've had, so who gives a fuck what people on facebook or whatever say.’ 

He helps you down for another bone crushing hug, until he hears you breathing start to even out and pulls back to smile at you, which you return, his fingers moving to your cheeks to make you smile comically big.

‘There she is! That's what i like to see!, now Chinese?’

You just nod and let him lead you into the living room with your plates ready to spend all weekend with each other and to never read another tabloid again.

[palmett-hoes]

Hi, I really loved your post with the monsters as Birds of Prey! Was wondering if you had any thoughts on the Foxes as Marvel or Mcu characters? I feel like I could see Dan as Carol Danvers and Andrew for sure is Jessica Jones, idk about the rest.

oh wow old post!!

haha unfortunately i’m not really a comics person so i don’t feel like i can really give the best analysis possible, but i have seen most of the mcu movies and bits and pieces of the netflix show so i’ll try my best. also im using dc characters too bc i want to

1. Dan: I think your instinct with Dan as Captain Marvel is spot-on (at least uhhh,, based on the movie lol sorry comics ppl). Her direct, forceful powers and fighting style are definitely reminiscent of dan’s no-nonsense leadership approach. similarly the themes of overcoming sexism and acceling in a male-dominated industry in the captain marvel movie is pretty much the same as dan’s story establishing herself as the first female exy captain (tho sports is way more valid than the military). plus there’s a lot of emphasis on love and friendship between women that dan is ALL about. also lashana lynch would be a god tier dan wilds fc. Dan could also def have that lawful good Okoye from Black Panther energy. Loyal, disciplined, no-nonsense leader. no powers except discipline. no hair. also danai gurira in 2012 with the dreads and the sword and the cape on TWD was definitely part of my middle school sexual awakening

2. Kevin: Aquaman. this is based pretty much exclusively on the fact that jason momoa is my #1 kevin fc and also that Pasifika kevin is phenomenal and mandatory, actually. otherwise i think he has a decent amount of stick-up-the-ass cyclops energy. or dick grayson nightwing energy but i don’t have any evidence for why. kinda looks like him tho

3. Andrew: andrew gets the most characters bc he’s my favorite. i think ur jessica jones instincts are absolutely correct, both in her storyline (i only watched the first season) and her powers. i’ve seen some powers au and the tendency seems to be giving andrew like,, psychic powers or the like, and i don’t really agree. andrew is a very direct character. he’s pragmatic, he confronts problems head on, and he doesn’t muck about in details. to me this really translates best into physical powers like super strength that help u big punch straight thru all ur problems. also i def think andrew would be not just a solo hero but a mercenary (or a detective) because he’s not altruistic enough to be a standard vigilante. he doesn’t care enough about other people to hang out on rooftops all night waiting for Crime to occur. there’s a price for that.  which brings us to the NEXT andrew hero: deadpool. maybe in personality more of a drugged andrew but the superpowered mercenary is really a perfect fit for andrew. also, healing powers have a decidedly tragic poetry to them on andrew. already he’s self-destructive, if he had a healing factor his concern for his own well-being would be so beyond rock bottom it’d be in the earth’s core. even worse when you remember that with a healing factor, as opposed to indestructibility, you still feel all the pain. which brings us to Wolverine and X-23, who have the same thematic points as deadpool but are much more of a personality match and they have knife hands, which i really think andrew would appreciate. ending that sadness train and onto another tho, andrew’s aesthetic and Vibes fit the Winter Soldier just SO well (just that movie tho, not really civil war or anything past that) and a reinterpretation of the captain america story using the twinyards would be incredibly interesting. and finally, one last hero that would work really well for andrew: rogue, only remove the angst around not being able to touch people, andrew would love that. one touch and their comatose? baller. don't fucking touch him.

4. Matt: Shazam. I didn’t see the shazam movie but my dad and brother did and they said it was very funny and all the trailors looked like it had a lot of fun himbo energy and i really think that fits. in terms of matching himbo disaster energy i think i’ve heard good things about comics hawkeye (not mcu). thor?

5. Aaron: Mr. Fantastic. now this might be a stretch but aaron is a character who uses a skin-deep veneer of anger to cover the fact that he’s actually quite pliant and bends to other people’s wills. and he’s a doctor or w/e. he could alse be like,, antman. he’s smart right? hank pym not paul rudd. katelyn can be wasp

6. Seth: Arm Fall Off Boy. no i will not elaborate.             ..... ugh fine, but i'm using my favorite piece of superhero media of all time: x-men evolution, the one where they're all teenagers in public high school. seth can be lance alvers/avalanche who’s a bit of a jerk and has a lot of issues with authority and has a rivalry with cyclops very reminiscent of seth with kevin, but still there’s the recurring theme that he’s lashing out because of low self-esteem and a bad situation and he’s a surprisingly sympathetic character who i’m very fond of. his power is earthquakes but i think the name makes that pretty self-explanatory

7. Allison: Iron Man. cocky, bitchy, and rich rich rich. sounds like allison to me. then to elevate it a level higher: emma frost, rich bitch extraordinaire. also if allison had telepathic powers she would be unstoppable. plus one more bitchy, morally-gray blonde (but chaotic this time): Harley Quinn

8. Nicky: Okay so I do wanna give a quick shout-out to Northstar, the first openly gay comicbook superhero, who’s a speedster which I’d actually say fits Nicky pretty well. However, if i had to choose a superhero to represent nicky in presence and powers it would have to be Jubilee from x-men (... from what i’ve heard lol. i’ve never actually consumed any of her Media hahaha anyway) she’s a joyful, energetic presence and her powers are setting off fireworks which i think is a good balance of nicky being a supportive cousin-parent AND a chaotic train wreck garbage trash man. also gonna throw in johnny storm for a cheap 'flaming' joke

9. Renee: Thunder/Blackbird from Black Lightning bc she’s a fufkin lesbian lol. (i don’t watch the show but i do follow nafessa williams’s tag). now the fr ones i’m gonna do together because to me they have the same Vibes so i chose them for the same reasons. Wonder Woman and Storm who to me have the same  reserved, impartial, regal energy. honestly ethereal and somewhat otherwordly, and quite literally goddesses. also op as hell.  black widow and her “red in my leger” looking for redemption story also fits thematically.

10. Neil: okay lazy answer first: the flash or quicksilver. get it? because they run fast? and neil run too? yea i like to think i've proven myself to be better than such a surface level interpretation but worth the mention ig. so for srs now, mystique and her shape changing powers would be an interesting interpretation of neil's identity issues, but i wanna push it a step further. nightcrawler would actually be possibly the MOST interesting hero to apply to neil 1. because powers still very movement go fast place to place 2. because of the thematic focus on neil's unusual looks and the lengths he goes to hide them, very much in line with the way nightcrawler will use a hologram-projector in order to look human, yet in both cases it's only a surface-level illusion, and 3. his parentage. here, mary would be mystique, which i also think works very well considering mary seemed to be the far more effective chameleon on the run than neil, and also fits with her place as a morally grey character, as mystique herself is often a villain or an antagonist, with her own agenda and shadowy motives. then nathan matches well with nightcrawler's father: azazel, a literal demon, and also where kurt gets his appearance. it's a shockingly coherent narrative between the three of them. then, to also give neil some powers that aren't contingent on his fucked up geneology and rather on his own merit and abilities, Black Canary and her sonic voice parallel the way that neil began to anchor his identity and take ownership over himself through his voice and his sick roasts

and 1 extra, wymack: batman, on account of his altruism, his dedication to second chances, and his many, many adopted children

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anon, ik it's been a sec since you sent this, so i hope it gets back to you. i had a fun time with it and it prompted like,,, 7 different au s that i'll never write

[kinktae]

what were NOT gonna do is drag rose into this, when she obviously isn’t involved in the situation.

Anonymous said: Please don’t let that anon get to you rose! If you want this to be your happy place then we should all respect that. I see why they might feel that way but it’s not for us to decide how you deal with the situation

bigbangtansonyeondan said: Ew that anon is so gross. Rose is not even involved aside from just knowing the people. We all have friends who done shit and do shit and it’s your personal choice whether to stick with them and shape them up or ditch them. No judgement here Rose. Don’t let stinky anons mess with your happy place.

Anonymous said: hey u don’t have to post this but the other anon was really insensitive about the situation especially when u just mentioned u were going through anxiety. like do THEY agree with their family and friends 100% of the time? no, no one does and people can make mistakes. also they don’t know the situation behind the scenes and only see what’s posted online

Anonymous said: Disregard all the anons telling u to stop being friends with ur friends!! This whole thing is just messy and has many sides let’s just all be happy and hope this is settled / will settle soon

Anonymous said: People stop dragging Rose into the arguement. It was not her that made the mistake, and you can’t tell her to break her friendships, because that’s not your decision to make. It’s hers! Anyway… search up anxiety relief(ver) on spotify. You’ll find a few good playlists with songs that will help you sooth your anxiety. Love you ❤❤

Anonymous said: Im really sorry you have been suffering with anxiety at the moment.I know how you feel I’ve been through some tough times recently. But don’t worry i will get better.🥺🥰

Anonymous said: Hey! I hope you’re doing ok w this whole drama bs! I hope to see it resolved soon and honestly fuck ppl who are trying to drag u into it!!! It has nothing to do w u! I wanna spiritually give you a hug and a lil kiss on the head 💖 bc ur too sweet for this world (despite writing Amazing smut) I hope the rest of your week goes better!Anonymous said: Hi i am just here to send you some love. I know there was a messed up situation involving your friends but ultimately it’s not your place to worry about it. You have made your feelings clear and the rest is between them and that person. People need to get off the cancel bus and chill for a sec about issues that aren’t theirs, and stop dragging bystanders like yourself into the mix. Try to focus on you, on calm, happy and safe places. Lots of love 💕

bl00bts said: ok that last anon better back the fuck off. ‘If you don’t denounce their actions then you agree with them’. What A-class bullshit. Listen, your friends, yeah they sound like assholes but they’re still your friends. I can’t force you to not hang out with them, you guys are close. They’re very important in your life, I completely understand that. I just hope that you recognize that what they did wasn’t okay. Honestly, you shouldn’t be dragged into this, you weren’t doing anything wrong.

Anonymous said: hihi, you don’t have to respond to this, this is just for your solace. i don’t think you did anything wrong with all that’s happening. your friends are their own persons who make their own decisions and behave in the manner they choose. being friends with them doesn’t mean you agree with or condone their actions, and i can see how hard this must be for you because people expect you to take sides. i hope you can catch a break and your anxieties easy away :( ❤️

Anonymous said: i just want to say that i’m so sorry that people are giving you a bunch of shit on things that you have no control over. i honestly have no idea what’s going on and i really don’t want to know but i just want to say don’t listen to them and please don’t let them get to you 💜

Anonymous said: (this is continuing the other ask) but like how are u gonna call someone a clown and essentially insult them if that’s what u were against in the first place. it makes no sense. please don’t take it to heart ur a great writer and im sure a great person

Anonymous said: That anon was quite rude to you. You chose to not get involved( and weren’t even involved), and allowed them to “resolve” their issue amongst themselves. That anon IS NOT you in this situation. They don’t understand how you feel, so to come and say what YOU should do regarding this situation is not their place. I hope people think about what they say before they come to you with their opinions on a situation they have no direct involvement in.

Anonymous said: Y'all sending her hate is really uncalled for. She’s not involved in the situation. Y'all sending her shady shit via anon is the same thing y'all are getting mad at those writers for. Don’t say one thing then do that same thing. It ain’t cute. Leave her be.

Anonymous said: Hi Rose🥺 Ik you don’t know me but I love and support you and hope everything works out for you. You deserve the best. Tumblr isn’t a place for negativity. It should be a safe haven. It should just be a place where people come together for the things they love.

Anonymous said: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜🥰😘😘😘😘😘😘💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Anonymous said: Hey Rose! Im sending you lots of love and support 💜 you're loved and important and Im sorry you had an anxiety attack. Lots and lots of love

minyoongibabygirl said: Hey look I might not quite understand what's going on, but I'm going to always support you, you don't deserve the hate your getting. I love you, I purple you

Anonymous said: A) you’re amazing and b) I’m sorry people are harassing you about all this drama. Your friends are important and I can say that I don’t agree with everything my friends do but that doesn’t mean I end our relationship. You’re an amazing author and an even better person.

Anonymous said: I hope you’re doing okay right now, I have panic attacks too and it takes me a while to recover from them 💜

Forget what i said about tumblr being my happy place. You guys are my happy place. thank you to everyone who sent me in anons of love and to those that pm’d me privately to help me through my mental health shit. and again, i’m so so sorry for worrying you all. Please take care of yourself everyone

[karak9]

Another stupid long post about how I don't know my own fucking gender

This is honestly just copied and pasted from a yt comment I made on an older vid and I figured I'd share it here bc tumblr loves this shit I guess lol. God damn I've been questioning my gender for so long and ik rn im prob not still in the best position to be thinking about deep life shit like where I am mentally and im dealing with a lot in my life and also very insecure about potentially being trans bc a lot of my friends don't seem like they would be very accepting and my bf is only really into girls. I asked him how he would feel if I was nonbinary or looked like a boy and he just said he wasn't totally sure but he's only attracted to girls :c he's the sweetest bf in existence and im honestly so afraid of losing him, so aside from obviously not wanting to deal with all the other trans shit, I definitely hope im not trans bc I don't wanna lose him. Anyways, ill start with my childhood I guess. I was always super tomboyish. My older sisters (im the youngest sibling btw) were always p tomboyish so maybe I kinda got it from them but I kinda felt like I was more tomboyish than them? I felt like I was the most boyish girl I knew, like even meeting other tomboy girls in elementary school I felt like I couldn't really relate to them or like they couldnt relate to me enough idk. I also remember once making up a song about being like so tomboyish that I was basically a boy or something along those lines and sang it to my best friend at the time who I copied like all the fkin time (it honestly wasnt healthy lmao I didn't have good parents, also I think I started making up songs bc she did that and I wanted to like impress her), but she thought it was stupid and weird so I just forgot about it and moved on. I was embarrassed to even enjoy playing with dolls or play dress up games online and was determined to play masculine games like runescape (even tho I ended up doing girly shit in runescape anyways lmao) and considered myself one of the guys. In 5th grade when I started needing to wear a bra I absolutely didn't want to, tho some girls in my class thought it was weird I didn't wear a bra when they found out and that made me more insecure about it, but since then I've p much only worn sports bras. I have bought some more normal bras bc I wanted to look attractive in them for my SO or whatever but I still highly prefer my sports bras and can't stand wearing the other ones unless I have to bc my sports bras aren't clean lmfao. I always hated talking about genitalia and breasts n shit but that could just be bc of how I was raised and how my family was always so strict and such radical Christians and anything sex related was a sin, idk if its dysphoria or not. I've never rlly liked my chest and hated showing cleavage like so god damn much and still do but maybe that's the same thing or maybe I just want smaller boobs and that's it idk??? Like I'd want to appear to have a completely flat chest at least, idk if I'd want to actually like have a guy chest or not? Also huge issue with ppl seeing me naked or touching my boobs but again idk if that's gender related or just a normal issue I have. Tho I had a friend in high school (a girl, a very weird lewd girl) who would occasionally grope my chest randomly and it wasn't a huge issue but kinda made me uncomfortable and more aware of my chest. I really like when I wear big hoodies or when I lean over so my shirt kinda poofs out and it looks like I have a flat chest underneath. Though im not super uncomfortable with my boobs, like normally ill want nothing to do with them but I don't mind my SO touching them especially if they're really into it. I wouldn't say im rlly dysphoric about between my legs either, like yeah I think its weird and I hate monthlies and stuff but I think that's normal. I think if i woke up one day and had a dick I would be fine with it, I'd prob even enjoy it tbh lmao. I once had a dream that i was, well, a male dog like,,, ya know, with a female dog, and not to sound weird af (hey we were both dogs ok) but I think i kinda enjoyed it? I don't really remember any other dreams where I remember actually having a dick or feeling it but I've had several dreams as a male person, but p much all of them were like, I was seeing through a character's eyes or smth, not really that I was a guy, so idk if that's normal. I have the same dreams about being other girl characters, I'd say its split about 50/50. Because of this game community im in, a lot of ppl assume im a guy, and a lot of people still think im a guy and I haven't really bothered to correct them but idk if I find it more enjoyable bc its funny or if I enjoy not being referred to as female for once. I'll admit I feel most comfortable referred to as they/them, like without a doubt, if I could go by only 1 set of pronouns for the rest of my life it would be they/them. But ik that's not enough to call myself trans. I definitely wouldn't want to be 100% male. Like if I imagine myself as a grown man vs a grown woman id prob choose to be a woman. I don't like my voice but I think that's mostly just bc I sound 10 years younger than I actually am, and wouldn't really want a deep/masculine voice. Like a "tomboy" voice would be fine if that makes sense? I don't want facial hair or want to have a masculine body, I like that I have curves and soft skin and small hands. Personally I like my hair long bc its soft and people love it, but sometimes I kinda wish I had short hair and could pass as a boy. Like I'd wanna be a typical cute kpop boy ngl lmfao. I like the whole cute androgynous/feminine boy look and wish I could pull it off. Tho I also like really girly things sometimes and am okay being seen as a girl, i just want to be cute and attractive. Ik whether im trans or not I like being a mix of feminine and masculine, tho I admit in the past I've been kinda insecure bc I used to be super sure I was nb and thought me liking girly things and wanting to still havd long hair and wear girly clothes made me seem like "not trans enough" or whatever. But i guess here I am questioning myself again anyways. If I am nb, it sucks that ill never really be able to be openly myself and all but I've accepted by now that I kinda have to pick a binary and choose what I want to be seen as for the rest of my life, and im ok with being female. There are some things I dont like about my body whether they're really gender related or not but I can't afford to transition and wouldn't like most of the effects of T and am afraid of surgery and not sure I want top surgery enough to ever get it anyways, but I think if we lived in a perfect world and I could magically change my body at will and I wasnt afraid of judgment or being unattractive or whatever, I'd probably want to look androgynous and itd be cool to be able to change my genitalia at will lmao. If I had to choose 1 genitalia over the over I honestly have no idea what I'd choose but I have no desire to ever get bottom surgery, at the same time tho I honestly wanna someday get surgery or w/e to never be able to get pregnant. I just could not handle pregnancy or giving birth and I don't even like babies and breast feeding sounds awful so if I ever have kids they will be adopted 100% and most likely be older and like not newborn babies lmfao, babies are honestly so weird to me and they stink and cry and they're so fragile and im so afraid of like dropping them when I hold them lmao. But I like my nieces and nephews and I like being the cool aunt (is there a gender neutral version of aunt/uncle?) who lets them use my art supplies and helps them do fun stuff even if I get tired of them sometimes lol. Idk if that's gender related either but yeah I guess. This if kind of a more recent thing but I often say I'd make a great bf kinda as a joke bc of how I am in relationships like being the stereotypical sweet bf type who makes things for their partner a lot and wants to be their knight in shining armor and their protector and all that, but again prob not rlly trans related lmao just thought I'd throw that out there I guess. So when I was 17 was when I really started getting into trans stuff, prior to that I mostly just learned from my parents that trans ppl were "against god" and all that bs, and eventually started realizing lgbt+ isn't as bad as my family said and later realized I was bi. But anyways I met an agender person online when i was 17ish and I'd never heard it before and thought it was really interesting and asked them how you know you're agender bc after hearing their explanation of it i thought it described how I felt, but ofc they weren't transmed and just described it as being like a deep feeling or whatever and since then i started calling myself agender (and switched between a few labels but basically nonbinary) until my transmed friend told me I was ridiculous and that I wasn't trans, and honestly he was a huge dick but im a huge pushover lmao and I thought well he's trans so he must know what he's talking about, and though I felt discouraged about it I stopped calling myself nonbinary. Then I began questioning it again after not too long and basically since then I've been questioning my gender off and on. I'm now 22 and god I fucking hope im cis but also I feel like a part of me doesn't want to be cis if that makes sense?? Idk if that's because I don't like being a girl for some weird deep reason I don't know about despite being pretty sure I've gotten a lot of my feelings and their reasons behind them figured out, or if it's because I am trans and dont want to force myself to pretend im a girl 100% forever. At the very least, whatever the fuck my gender is, I want to continue going by they\them wherever I can and pretending to be a boy to strangers online and I'd love to cosplay male characters and bind and occasionally just dress masculine for the hell of it and probably wear sports bras for the rest of my life. I feel like in a way I cang possibly be trans because I can live with all of those things and be fairly comfortable still being seen as female for the rest of my life. But idk, I have bpd and other mental shit so sometimes im not great with my feelings (tho I do try really hard to identify all of my feelings/emotions and stuff) but at the same time bpd can cause weird identity shit so maybe its just a weird mix of a bunch of crap and im not actually trans but just weird and tomboyish enough to question my gender for 5 years and still be unsure. Also I know a lot of ppl suggest talking to a therapist/psychologist/whatever professional and trust me I would love to but I can't currently and am unsure when ill be able to bc they're expensive and I live in the middle of fucking nowhere so finding a decent therapist around where I live rn is going to be very difficult. Also, I have fucking crippling social anxiety lmao like I'd be so afraid to open up about this stuff even to a professional. So if anyone could suggest anything online that could help that would be amazing