#im just gonna try to improve the y/n character for myself

[ac3id]

ick is when they do like “y/n’s long flowing hair” “y/n’s peitie frame” or “_______ stared at y/n and her (random specific trait)” it’s very self incert-y

IKR i get you. the other one is when they make the y/n character fit like the most horrible personality ever. uk those

"y/n did not like going to parties or having friends she was shy and quirky but her beautiful best friend who she is so jealous of forced her to go."

like nah bruh, thats not me- im the gorgeous bsf.

whenever i try to write i like putting my character in situation where its quite impossible to do anything else other than follow the narrative. You're not given the thought of a choice to make decisions for yourself- you're that trapped.

like with his majesty and his artist, the reader is getting p much blackmailed by the Prince of the nation. she can't do anything about that- at least not alone. she will need help but she's all alone. so in my head it makes sense she's getting pushed around because of how powerless she is.

[heeseung-min]

My Patient

Pairing: psychiatrist Jay x patient reader

Summary: You came to the hospital to get a treatment for your trauma but why did it become worse instead of getting better?

Warning: drug usage,yandere themes,murder,panic attack,anxiety,hallucination, mention of suicide and stalking (if you cant handle this please do not read it)

This is pure fanfiction and does not involve any character in real life. Leave a comment and like on this post.Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy it.

Again i want to remind you im the owner for @ethanhee account so if you follow that account pls unfollow and follow this account instead since im gonna use this from now on.

Reminder: Im not fluent in english so if you see any grammar errors please forgive me🙇‍♀️i will do my best to improve my mistake

Thank you so much😊😊 and I am sorry that maybe some of you that doesnt want to read need to scroll because I can't insert the 'read more' 🥲🥲

"Explain this,park jimin!!!"

"What do you mean y/n? Why are you suddenly being like this?"

"Are you gonna act dumb like that? Tell me the truth.Where did you go last week?"

"Baby, i told you i'm oustation,right? Can you please stop screaming because I'm driving us right now."

"Outstation,huh? There is a picture of you going to other woman's house jimin! How am I supposed to calm down!!!"

"I'M NOT Y/N!! WHY YOU CAN'T BELIEVE ME!!"

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE WHEN THERE IS A PROOF JIMIN"

"Y/N STOP HITTING ME"

"AHHHHHHHHHH"

"AHHHHHHH"

A loud scream released from y/n's mouth. She woke up from her nightmare and looked around only to be met with darkness as it still a night. Cold sweats on forehead and shaking hands made her tears slowly building up. She's tired. The nightmare has been attacking her again. She can't do anything except feeling guilty for the things that happen in the past.

"Jimin-ah, i'm sorry i'm sorry"

Y/n started to cry and whimper how sorry she is to her late-fiance, Park Jimin. Oh how she regrets everything that happened and how she hates that she still alive while her lover is dead.

The bed she was sitting was supposed to be the warm place for her and her fiance. Too bad, he left first. You can hear y/n begging to no one for Jimin to come back.

"y/n wake up! I made you breakfast."

That's Jungkook. He is y/n's cousin who always at her side and help her through everything since both of them are orphan and only have each other. Jungkook doesn't have any girlfriend as he is too busy with his work and taking care of you.

" I ...I dreamt about him again,kook"

Jungkook's movement stopped for a while. He put the plate he was holding to the table and looked at you who were staring at nothing. You changed. Your eyes that always contain happiness now become sorrowful, you lost your weights and getting eyebags under your eyes. Jungkook pursued his lips and sighed. It's not easy. The fight you were having with your fiance was the last time you see him and you don't even get a chance to apologize to each other. Jungkook is so worried because one time he had saved you from cutting your neck just to end your nightmare.

"I can't help but to feel guilty,kook. I tried to distract myself but it didn't work."

"y/n, it's been one year since that incident. You need to stop blaming yourself. This is not healthy."

"I'm afraid I can't, jungkook. It keeps haunting me. I tried to not overthink but I just can't"

Jungkook can heard how broken your voice was. You are too tired and he don't know how can he help you to get over with this. He hugged your body and your soft cries filled up the room.

"Here, I have a suggestion. We get you to a hospital to get a treatment for your trauma. Let's try it y/n. I'm sure Jimin will be sad if he sees you in this condition. Okay?"

"But I'm still scared to go out,kook"

"It's okay y/n, you have me. I will accompany you tomorrow."

Jungkook hold your hand to calm yourself and went to the counter to get your appointment. After that , both of you sit down and waiting for your name to be called.

"What if I can't tell what is happening jungkook? I'm afraid the doctor will call me weird!!"

You asked with a worrying voice an started to scratch your hair. Jungkook sighed and caressed your hair gently and fixed the mess that you did.

"He is doctor for a reason y/n. I believe you can do it. Trust yourself this time."

"Miss y/n. Please go inside. Our psychiatrist is waiting for you."

Jungkook smiled when heard your name getting called. He immediately stood up and pulled you up and walked to the room that you need to get into.

"You can do this y/n. It's time for you to get better."

"Good morning miss y/n. My name is Jongseong and I am your psychiatrist."

The man who is sitting while typing something on his computer made you stunned a while. It is because he is so breathtaking. The cute lips and sharp jawline made you gulped a bit suddenly become nervous. You sit on the chair that has been placed in front of him and waiting for him to finish whatever he doing right now.

"Have you eat y/n? You seem tired."

"Oh i just eat a little? Because i don't have any appetite."

Jongseong,the psychiatrist stopped doing his task and turned to y/n who was fiddling with her fingers.

"Can you tell me what is happening miss y/n? Because I want to help you overcome your problems."

Y/n can feel the panic that started to build up. She tried to calm herself but seems like it became worse. Jongseong quickly went to her when he noticed how the girl can't breath regularly. He cupped her cheeks made her looked at him.

"Miss y/n, I need you to follow what I say. Now,slowly inhale and exhale. Don't think anything just focus on your breathing."

It continues for about ten minutes to finally calm you down. You were feeling embarassed because the psychiatrist had to see this side of you.

"It's okay miss y/n. I had see a lot of my patients being like this. It's normal and no need to get worry. Let's get you start, okay?"

You sighed quietly for the last time and began telling your problem to the man. You often didn't look at his eyes and fiddling with your fingers. Jongseong make sure to take a note of that.

After about an hour, the session finally done and you were waiting for Jongseong to finish what is he writing.

"How do you feel about our session today miss y/n?"

"I feel a bit good but I'm still scared of the nightmares."

"I will give you some technique to control your breath when you have a panic attack and we will meet again after few weeks to see your progress, okay?"

"Yes doctor"

"Just call me jongseong I want you to feel comfortable"

"Okay, if that's what you want. Thank you jongseong-ah"

Somehow the name feels familiar but maybe it's just your mind playing with you.

Two weeks later, your day has been improved and become better. You started to have appetite to eat again and Jungkook was so happy when he saw the changes. You laughed as he screamed happily when you asked him to take you out even though you still scared to go out but Jungkook is always there to reassure you that everything is fine.

However, your happiness shattered when one day you saw a note at your table in your room

I miss you y/n

-jm-

No,no, no this must be a prank. You took the note and went out from your room then walked to Jungkook who was playing with his dog, Bam.

"Hey, do you want to go to the park? We can play with Ba-"

"Are you playing with me, Jungkook?"

"wh-what do you mean y/n? Playing with what?"

"Did you put this in my room?"

Jungkook looked at the note you've showed him. He furrowed his eyebrows after he read the words and turned to you who started to look scared. Bam who was standing beside Jungkook also getting worried when he looked at you.

"Y/n, this is not me. You know my writing y/n. Also why would I do this? I'm not this stupid y/n."

"Then ho-how?"

You fell because you can't feel your legs. You can't breath. You started to feel dizzy. Jungkook were calling you and Bam was barking but you couldn't hear that. What you can hear only your other voices.

'Aren't you looking pathetic right now? No wonder Jimin cheated with you'

'Oh look at this bitch crying. Do you think crying would make Jimin alive again?'

"Stop Stop"

'You should die. You don't deserve to live while Jimin is dead'

"I SAID STOP!! STOP FUCKING STOP ITS NOT MY FAULT JIMIN DIE!!! AAAAAAAARGHHHHH"

"Y/N Y/N I'M HERE DON'T LISTEN TO THAT Y/N LOOK AT ME"

Jungkook were panicking when you started banging your head to the wall. He hold you tightly while you screaming and begging for him to let go.He hugged you for about 15 minutes and your body started to calm down slowly. What Jungkook could heard from you was your sobbing and whimpering. Just as he thought you become better, now you back to the old one.

"Y/n come on let's eat. I made your favourite."

Jungkook said as he put the food and drink beside your bed. Bam who was following him is now laying beside you. You can only stared at them.

"It's not my fault right?"

"Yes y/n it's not. I will install cctv to see who is the one went to your room. Don't worry. We have Bam here, he can protect you."

Bam barked when he heard his name getting called. You laughed with Jungkook and caressing the dog body. After that, you eat and talked with Jungkook for a while before you went to sleep.

What you didn't notice was a man stood at the corner in your room watching how you moved agressively because you were having a nightmare.

"Hi y/n good to see you again after few weeks. Let's continue the session, shall we?"

Jongseong asked with a hint of excited in his voice but he tuned it down when he saw how tired you are. You became worse than before.

"Can you tell me what exactly happening to you this past few weeks y/n? Because it seems you looked really bad."

"It's actually getting better at first but when I saw a note in room, it scared me. The nightmares come back again every single night and sometimes I'm too scared to sleep because I'm afraid I will dream about it again"

The session continue for an hour and Jongseong took a note for every movements y/n did without she realized. The girl sometimes rambled too much and then keep apologizing to the point Jongseong need to calm her down.

"Okay y/n, seems like your condition really become worse so I will give you some medicines to help. Please do not overdose the usage okay? Consume the medicine as what I had adviced."

"Am I that bad, Jongseong?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

Jongseong stopped whatever he doing and looked at you seriously. He could sense that you were going to cry so he quickly embraced you in his arms and it was right. You were crying as soon as you leaned to him. The psychiatrist caressing your back as to give you comfort. You and him stayed in that position for a while until you slightly pushed away from him.

"I'm sorry Jongseong. I don't know what's wrong with me. This is so unprofessional. I should not hug you."

"Hey y/n, look at me"

The girl refused to look as she is still embarassed about the hug so Jongseong cupped her cheeks making the girl look at him with wide eyes.

"You cannot always be alone when you want to cry y/n. Sometimes, you need someone to lean and you can use me. Yes, I am your psychiatrist but I am your friend too. Treat me as your friend because I will always be here for you. I will be the one who bring you happiness.

You was too stunned to speak. Not only because of his words but because of the closeness between you and Jongseong. He looked more attractive at this point. The way he smiles at you made your heartbeat fast.

Oh.

Are you falling in love with him?

You blushed at the thought and slowly took off his hands on your cheeks and pursued your lips.

"umm thank you Jongseong. I'm glad that you're my psychiatrist. Thanks for comforting me."

"You're welcome y/n"

You went out from the room and looked at Jungkook who was playing with his phone at the seat.He looked up and smiling when you went to him.

"How is it? Are you feeling better- yo wait why are you blushing,huh?"

"Oh shut up kook let's go take my medicine."

"Hey, you can't fool me. I know you better than anyone.So, hehehehehe is my favourite girl is falling in love? With her psychiatrist?"

"Shut up!!!"

Jungkook teased you along the hallway even after you had picked your medicine. You rolled your eyes when he poked your cheeks to show that you are blushing.

"I'm glad y/n"

"What do you mean?"

"You know, it's the time for you to finally move on from Jimin hyung."

"I know but that doesn't mean I like Jongseong!!"

"Ouuu, is that his name? It's a bit familiar."

Jungkook said while thinking where did he ever heard that name but the thought stopped when you said again.

"Shut up, let's go eat and I want to play with Bam."

Your weeks started pretty badly. Almost every night, you will have the same nightmare. Jungkook and Bam decided to sleep with you so you they can be alert if there is anything happen to you.

You walked to the kitchen to drink a water but you stopped when you saw a tall human or more like man who were watching your moves. You couldn't see who is he because of the darkness and you are certainly sure it is not Jungkook since he sleeps with you. You don't know what to do but you decided to step back and it caused the person to call you.

"bunny"

That's the nickname that only Jimin used it on you. You stayed at your place and looked at the person with wide eyes. You don't know what is happening and you knew your fiance is gone so who is this person standing in the room calling you using a nickname that only a certain person used on you?

"who...who are you?"

"I'm Jimin, bunny. Can't you recognize me?"

The man slowly walked to you but you didn't even try to run. Maybe because you were too shocked of his words. When he reached infront of you, he cupped your cheeks and made you looked at him. It's hard to see actually because of dark but you felt like it is Jimin in front of you.

"...Jimin?"

He giggled and kissed your forehead made you cried suddenly.

"I'm sorry jimin I'm really sorry"

"It's okay bunny. Everyone makes mistake."

"Y/N?"

Jungkook's sleepy voice startled you. He switched on the lights and you shut your eyes because of the sudden bright. Jungkook stared weirdly at you as he saw you were hugging yourself.When you opened your eyes, you looked around the room to find Jimin but there is no trace of him.

"Hey, what are you looking at?"

"Where's Jimin?"

"I- what the hell y/n?!! Jimin is gone y/n!!"

"NO!! I saw him here just now I swear!!"

"Hey look at me!! Y/n, you saw how doctor take the life support off his body and that means Jimin is gone y/n. Have you took your medicine?"

"Are you saying I'm crazy??!!!"

"Of course no y/n!!! I just don't want you to being like this. You need to remember Jimin is gone and it's impossible for dead person to come here."

You were stunned at his words.

Are you having hallucination?

Is it because you don't get enough sleep?

You also don't know what is the answer. Jungkook sighed when you became quiet again. He brought a glass of water and your medicine for you to eat. Jungkook also give you a sleeping pill so you can sleep peacefully.

Three weeks later, you were running with Bam at the park while Jungkook went to buy ice creams. Just when you wanted to call Bam you saw a guy who literally look like Jimin. You started to follow him leaving Bam confused as why you stopped playing. The dog barked but you were too focused on following that person. When you succesfully got to be near, you tapped his shoulder and made him turned his back.

"Jimin- oh sorry! I mistook you"

The man furrowed his eyebrows but didn't say anything instead just continue walking and leaving you stood like a fool. Jungkook went to you with the ice creams he bought and serious look at his face.

"What happen y/n?"

"I- I saw Jimin again...."

"y/n, let's go back home"

"I really saw him Jungkook. I followed him but then I don't know suddenly I lost him? But I'm sure I saw Jimin"

"YOU LOST HIM BECAUSE THERE IS NO JIMIN Y/N"

You were shocked when Jungkook screamed. It is the first time he ever scream that loud to you. Bam too were scared of his loud voice and decided to went to the bedroom.

"Can you please don't think about Jimin anymore y/n? Jimin is dead y/n!! He is dead!! Why can't you accept that??!! You and I saw his funeral y/n. Can you please stop saying he is alive? I'm tired to handle this y/n"

Tired.

You realized even Jungkook who is your cousin that has always by your side is tired of you too. Of course he is, you were saying bullshits and nonsense. Who doesn't get tired of it. You looked down at your lap fiddling with your fingers. You should stop rely on anyone because it only make them tired. Slowly, you stood up and still not looking at him.

"I'm sorry for everything I've done"

And you walked to your room and told Bam to go out to Jungkook. You locked the door and slowly let your body fell to the floor and started crying alone in the darkness.

The next few days y/n was still not talking to Jungkook. She is avoiding that man because she couldn't forget what he said days ago. It's not like she is being angry, no, she just felt guilty for whatever happened and Jungkook couldn't help but to feel guilty too about what happened between him and his cousin. Now, y/n didn't even response when he called her to eat. He always see his cousin come out from the room at midnight and sometimes he woke up at the night just to see y/n tried to cook something. They slowly became apart. His dog, Bam also sad when couldn't play with y/n too. Sometimes, the dog even wait in front of her dog just to make her play with him.

"come on buddy, I'm sure y/n is tired. Let's go sleep bam"

You went to the hospital for your appointment by yourself. Usually,there is Jungkook accompany you but you were still avoiding him and you also went out without his knowing since the man need to bring his dog to vet.

"hi y/n, how are you doing today?"

Jongseong said with a bright smile but you can only response with small nod. The smile on his face automatically dies when he saw how puffy your eyes. He decided to pull his chair and sit in front of you.

"what happen y/n?"

"Jongseong-ah, I-I think I become worse. I started to having hallucination. Everytime I eat the medicine I keep seeing things."

You were not lying. You had did an experiment to not consume the medicine he give and surprisingly you just have same nightmare but not every night and the your mind seems a bit better than the time you consume it. You did some research that certain medicines you have causing this but you didn't expected that bad. You were looking at Jongseong for answer but he just keep staring at you with unexplainable expression. Suddenly, he giggled at nothing and made you more confuse but you stunned at the next words that came out from his mouth.

"That's why I give you that. I want you to become crazy."

"...what?"

You don't know what to say at this moment. Jongseong still looked at you with his smile and standing up from his seat then walked around the room.

"Those medicines I gave to you have some side effects like having hallucination but it's not that bad. So, I added something into your food and drinks everytime."

"...my...food?"

"Yes!!! I break into your house and pour the drugs into your drinks because you have a mini fridge in your room.Even though your cousin had installed cctv I still have my ways to go through hehe. Also, do you remember the night? The day you were crying because you think Jimin is still alive? That was me actually,bunny. Ahh when I feel your body close to me, I nearly faint but Jungkook such a bummer. If he hadn't appear that time, we would have a sweet kiss y/n"

"bullshit"

That's only the word you could mumbled after heard what Jongseong said. It's so disgusting to know that he stay in your room and do something bad. How can you fall in love with this person? The man was amused at how you glared at him. You still looked cute even your look at him show hatred.

"Bunny, I didn't like bad words coming from your mouth. You are too pure to said that."

You had enough. You need to get out from this room. But just when you wanted to stand up,someone behind you had injected you at the neck and slowly your eyes shut and the last thing you heard was

"Only I deserve you"

You woke up from your sleep and winced at the sudden headache. You felt unfamiliar at the scent in the room then you started to remember what happened before you fainted. You quickly sit up but failed when you noticed both of your hands had been cuffed to the bed and your clothes has been changed to a white hospital gown. The thought of Jongseong changing your clothes bring shivers to your body.

"How was your sleep,bunny?"

The voice startled you and made me yelp a little. Jongseong giggled as he slowly walked closer to you and watching how you tried to step back from him even you couldn't.

"Do you want anything? Food or water?"

"Please let me go Jongseong. Please, I'm begging you!!!"

"No y/n. Why would I let you go when I want you at the first place? Isn't it dumb for me to let you go when I finally got you?"

"You are crazy"

"Says the one who having hallucination about his late fiance"

"You knew ....Jimin?"

"yes darling I am park jongseong, his younger brother. Do you remember me?"

Your silence made Jongseong sighed but he didn't care about it. He sat in front of you and started telling a story on how both of you first meet to the point he's following you everywhere just to get know about you. You were terrified when he said he knew exactly your habit and something that only you knew about it.

"-and I still remember how excited you were when Jimin proposed to you. I was there when it's happening and it made me want to kill him so bad. You rejected my confession when we were high school but you accepted my brother confession after a year. Can you feel how angry and sad I am that time? That's why I decided to make this plan.I sabotaged his car and that's why he's dead so he can't bother our life anymore."

"You're stupid. How could you? Jimin is your brother!!"

"I don't care!!! You are mine y/n not him. I'm glad you believed the pictures of Jimin going to someone else house. He is not cheating but I need to do that so we can be together."

"You fucker. Once I get out of here, you will get arrested."

"Are you sure you can get out of here y/n?"

"Yes I can. Jungkook will find me and help me get out of here."

"I love how confident you are but too bad I am one step ahead"

Once again, you got injected and all your movements stopped. Jongseong watched you until you really unconscious. He pulled your bed out from the room and bring to another room which has some equipment in it.

"Let's start the electroshock therapy."

[raindownforme]

Theater Kid

Ted Nivison x reader [she/her used]

It wasn’t odd for me to be left alone in the big open space. Most nights I was there into the late hours when my teachers were too tired to remember I was there. But tonight they’d actually forgotten, so I busied myself by sweeping the giant black stage. The push broom had been left near the side lighting panel, so I chose a few flood lights to turn on to better see the flooring. The lightbulbs hummed to life above me and I went back to take center stage as a starting point. I turned to look towards the house but, as I stared out into the seats, I saw someone standing who hadn’t been there before.

“You turned the fucking floods on.” His voice echoed across the near empty space and I shushed him as quickly as possible. Fucking actors always having to be the loudest.

“Jesus Christ Theodore shut up. Haven’t you ever done this before?”

“No. I don’t stay after school cleaning like a weirdo.”

“Well you’re here. And I’m not a weirdo! It’s a shared space. If anything you should appreciate me.”

I watched as he awkwardly picked up his backpack and walked down the aisles towards me. He stood at the foot of the stage, staring up at me, which wasn’t that much of an angle for him. He was an abnormally tall person, especially for a highschool student. Of course it only added to the strange charismatic spell he held over almost everyone else in our shared department, and I hated it. I hated the way he never talked to me but talked to everyone else. I hated the way he would sit on the desks and the tables in the classroom and the makeup room and on the edge of the stage and when he caught me looking he would give me this wide, crooked smile. I hated how loud his stupid improv club was that he got to lead was because he was the only student good at it. I hated how I spent every day inside the workshop and the prop hallway and the sound booth and the set alley and the lighting booth and he never payed a bit of attention to it. It was everyone else but me. And even knowing how close I’d gotten to being the stage manager, I knew I’d always be one peg under him.

“Did you hear me?”

I blinked myself out of my angry thoughts, trying to catch up with the real world. “I’m sorry?”

“I said you don’t have to call me Theodore. Ted is fine.”

“Oh.” I rolled my shoulders back unsure of what was the appropriate next step. “Well my name is-“

“y/n I know.” He cut me off. I stared at him in confusion, simply having assumed he didn’t know who I was. “We have like five classes together. We’ve done every production together since freshman year. You’re the one in charge when I come to set days. I sit across from you in the makeup room during lunch. And I know you do all your homework at the director’s desk.”

I stared at my feet as I felt my face flush. It felt like I couldn’t make words. It didn’t make sense that this guy I thought was a prick for the last three years knew me? But I knew that I liked him knowing me. And that was the worst part; I’d been fine with thinking he didn’t know me and didn’t want to because it gave me a name to whatever this feeling was. And now I don’t know. I looked back towards him, trying to think of anything to say. “You don’t care about tech.”

“I- what?” I couldn’t tell if he was angry or confused, and I wasn’t sure which was worse. Staring at him again I noticed the strange tint to his face, which seemed to be turning pinker by the second. I could see my reflection in his glasses and I realized how awkward of an angle we were at.

I bent down on my knees to meet his eye level. “You don’t care about tech. You’re the guy who’s a lead character and comes to rehearsal just to fuck around when you’re not needed act all high and mighty when really you never do anything.”

He narrowed his eyes, as if thinking, and then slapped his bag down on the stage near my feet. “Give me a fucking broom.”

We spent the next while peacefully sweeping up the stage. At some point I switched to the nail detector (which was really a long stick with a magnet on the end) and began going around the edges and crevices to try and find anything. We crossed paths a couple times, shoulders brushing together or brooms clinking.

Eventually I had passed him just enough that he stopped me in my tracks. He grasped my forearm gently, but I stared at his hand. I didn’t seem to want him to let go. “Here.” He took an AirPod out of his ear and handed it to me.

“Ooooh fancy actor boy has AirPods.”

“Literally shut up and appreciate me.” I smiled as I walked towards the trash can. I didn’t know what was playing, but it seemed like some indie bullshit I probably would have admitted to liking if it wasn’t coming from Th- Ted.

I sighed as I leaned the broom against the wall. “I think we’re done here. I can put away the broom in the morning if you don’t know where it goes.”

“I got it.” I watched as he took the trash can under one arm and the broom to the designated little outcropping in the workshop.

“I think that’s the first time I’ve seen you in here.”

“Eh.” He shrugged and stood up straight to look down at me better. “Freshman year someone smacked me straight across the face with a roller. Worst acne I’ve ever had.”

“Oh. Ouch. Still on the handle?”

“Nope.”

“Wet or dry?”

“Wet. With paint. Fresh paint.”

“Ooh. What color?”

“Forest green.”

“Euch. Nasty.” I chuckled as I rubbed my hands up and down my arms. It wasn’t uncommon for this part of the school to be the coldest, especially surrounded by walls of exclusively concrete and a single garage door, and the seasons still changing as we neared the end of winter. I felt a shiver run through my spine, and Ted looked at me funny.

“Is it cold in here?”

“For some of us.”

“Here.” Ted shrugged off the heavy bomber jacket he had been wearing and draped it over my shoulders. It was warm on the inside, much warmer than I’d been expecting. It almost fit, but I guess his torso and arms were just slightly larger than mine. I looked back to him to say thank you but instead he was staring at me with this dumb look. He was smiling and his head was tilted slightly, and his face was pink again, but darker this time. I felt my face heat up as we stared at each other.

“We should leave.”

He seemed to snap back to reality. “Right. Yeah no right god it’s- what time?” He flicked his wrist out to move his sleeve in order to see his watch. Of course the pretentious bitch wore a stupid watch. “It’s like 6. I guess it’s eating time.”

I nodded and walked back out towards stage left, Turing off all the lights except for our single ghost light that had to sit center stage. It cast a hazy shadow over everything. I watched Ted walk towards center where the lightbulb stood. He started to reach for his bag but I heard the song change in the AirPod. He made eye contact with me as a slow waltzy song moved through my ear. He extended a hand to me and I tentatively reached for it. His hands felt good in mine. They were soft but worn, I and I could clearly feel the lines that ran through his palms and his fingers.

He took one of my hands in his and his other hand placed itself gently on my waist. “Have you ever waltzed before?” His voice was low and raspy, trying to be as quiet as possible.

I whispered back, “no.” He began to shuffle us around, pulling me left and right and pushing away and pulling me. I felt surrounded by the way he smelled and the way he held me gingerly, like a glass figurine. I stared down at my feet as to not step on him, but he took the hand that was holding mine to gently lift my chin up.

“It’ll be easier if you look up at me. I know you can hear the rhythm.” He began to hum the song as we continued to move. The song began a flourish ending as he threw me out in a twirl, then pulling me back in to his arms. I felt him dip me to the ground as the ending came. I let my self dangle, my head up side down, staring at the ground, then gently lifted my face back upwards. Ted was mere centimeters away from me. I could feel his breathing on my neck.

“Ted. I should-“

“Yeah. No no I know. Yeah.” He lifted me up slowly until I was sure I was flat on the floor. I grabbed my backpack, holding the straps.

“Do you want your jacket-?”

“Keep it. I can get it back tomorrow.”

“Today’s Friday.”

“Right. Monday then.”

I nodded and walked towards the door. I could hear his heavier footsteps behind me, gaining quick due to his longer legs. The door clicked shut behind us, and the cool February air rushed through my skin and hair. I watched Ted take a keychain out from the pocket of his back pack. He looked at me and frowned.

“Did you drive or do you have a ride?”

“Oh yeah. No they’ll uh. They’ll be here in a bit.” I dropped my bag and sat on the curb with it on my lap to try and stay warm. Ted’s jacket was lovely but not lovely enough.

I heard Ted drop his bag and watched as he took a seat next to me. He looked over at me. “What? I’m not gonna leave a pretty girl out alone at 7 at night in the winter. Besides my parents probably think I’m at the game anyways.”

Now that he mentioned it, I could hear the sound of cheering and drum line off in the distance.

Did he call me pretty?

We both waited on the curb for probably another 10 minutes before he started talking again. “There’s no one coming is there?”

“Ted-“

“I never see you leave because you always leave last. After anyone who could possible give you a ride has left. You’re one of those kids.”

“I’m sorry one of those kids?”

“No I didn’t-“ he exhaled and closed his eyes. “You don’t have anyone waiting for you. So you just walk.” We were both quiet for a moment, taking in the cold as it burned your skin. Ted stood up and extended a hand to me. “Get in the car.”

“Im sorry what?”

“Get in my fucking car. I’m not going to leave you to get kidnapped on the way home so you’re coming with me to get food.”

“See now this feels like kidnapping.”

“Oh my GOD get in the car.”

I reluctantly climbed into the passenger seat of his car, looking at the very minimal personalization that had been done: a couple stickers on the back window and a glasses case in the center cup holder. I watched as he reversed out of the parking spot, extending his arm against my seat to better turn around. I did my best not to stare, but I wasn’t sure what else to look at. He stopped before going into drive, asking if I didn’t mind McDonald’s even if there was a long line.

“Sure. It’s not like there’s someone waiting on me.”

He frowned at my response, but nonetheless kept on driving. “Well, there’s also a Dairy Queen, Sherri’s, maybe a Taco Bell-“

“Sherri’s.”

He glanced over at me with a confused look. “Really??”

“Come on, you know sitting in a dirty trashy restaurant at night is the total teenage coming of age moment.”

“Yeah but a Sherri’s? The food isn’t even good enough to justify.”

“You only say that because you haven’t tried those loaded hash browns.” I jokingly placed a hand on his shoulder, but I felt him tense at the contact. I retracted my hand and he sighed, moving to turn on his right blinker.

Ted swiveled his head to check for passing cars, but he grinned at me as we made less than a second of eye contact. I turned my head away towards the window next to me, trying to swallow whatever heat was rising towards my cheeks. I watched us pass cars and headlights as we approached the poorly lit parking lot. I jolted as ted’s plastic bumper lightly scraped the ground. He mumbled something under his breath as he pulled into a spot.

“I hate this stupid lot. Always scratch something coming in.” He unbuckled his seat belt and got out quicker than I expected. I went to unbuckle and get out but as I reached for the door handle, Ted opened it for me from the outside.

“Oh.” I stared at him for a second and he grinned at me.

“I know. Such a gentleman. Now get out of the car before I break your heart.” He winked at me, obviously joking, but I still felt my heart drop out of my chest.

“HA.” I pushed him away from me gently, but my fingers burnt at the touch.

I heard Ted shut the door behind me as I walked into the restaurant. There was really no one inside other than a group of kids tucked away in a booth in a far corner. I watched as the hostess approached me, saying I could sit in any table I wanted. I heard Ted walk in behind me and I turned to look at him, but he was staring at the group of kids in the corner.

He sighed and closed his eyes. “Oh shit-“

“HEY. TED!” One of the kids started yelling at him from the booth. The other boys laughed at him as the maybe two or three other girls giggled. I looked between Ted and the boy, who seemed incredibly belligerent or under some sort of influence. He waved his arms in a wide span over his head, as if telling Ted where he was. “NIVISON! COME SIT OVER HERE! COME ON FUCK THE LOSER! GET OVER HERE.”

Ted looked at me, making a prolonged eye contact, then back to the kid. “No thanks! I’ll see you later.”

He linked arms with me and rushed over to the other side of the restaurant, tucking us into a small booth by the window. He said almost nothing, staring just out at the bushes. A waiter came by, dropping off two thick plastic menus.

“Anything to drink?”

Ted mumbled, but I was sure the waiter wasn’t able to hear. “Water for him please. And how much is a vanilla milkshake?”

“$2.50 for a small.”

“A small vanilla milkshake then. Please.” I smiled gently at him, and the waiter seemed to straighten himself a bit, more self assured than he had been two minutes ago.

“Of course. Right away.”

The waiter walked away and Ted stayed quiet. I slid my hand across the table towards him. “Theodore-“

“I’m not friends with Jake. I mean I was when we were younger.” He was looking me now. Well not exactly me, but my extended hand at least. “He joined the football team and some other sorts and we just stopped hanging out because of time. And he does still wear the lettermen’s jacket but....” he dropped his voice and leaned in, I copied and leaned closer to him. “He got cut from the team because he would show up drunk so now he goes to games just to drink under the bleachers and pick up cheerleaders from the other schools. He tells anyone who asks that he got a brain injury and can’t legally practice but still goes for support.”

“Oh my god.” I blinked, my voice still at a whisper. “That’s terrible.”

Ted nodded eyes wide. He looked over my shoulder, tapped my hand, and then sat up. I sat up too, assuming it was the waiter, but stared at how close his hand was to mine.

“Okayyyyy one ice water and one vanilla milkshake.” I moved my line of vision towards the drink set in front of me. It had the standard glass cup and whipped cream topping, but on top were red and pink heart-shaped sprinkles. I stared at it, and Ted must of noticed it as he took my hand firmly in his, lacing our fingers together on top of the table. The waiter stared at it.

“Hey I think we’re ready to order if you don’t mind.” Ted’s voice was louder than I expected as it took command of our whole corner of the restaurant.

“Uh yeah. What can I get you two?”

“You said you wanted the loaded hash browns, right babe?” He turned to me smiling, but I had no idea what he was thinking.

“Y-Yeah. Those are the ones.”

He gave me a giant goofy smile, and turned back to the waiter. “We’ll have two orders of that please. And an extra straw for this milkshake if you don’t mind?”

“Uh yeah. Coming right up.”

The waiter walked away and Ted sighed, relaxing his grip on my hand but not quite releasing it. “Fucking creep.”

“What?”

He looked back at me, confused. “You didn’t notice he was flirting with you? He put heart shaped sprinkles on your milkshakes.”

“I guess he’s not that good at it then.”

We sat in silence as I drank the thick vanilla shake. Ted cleared his throat and looked towards me. Our hands were still together.

“Well what can we talk about together?”

“I don’t know, theater kid shit?”

“Alright.” He though for a second. “Fine. Movie musicals.”

“Oh. Oh my god I hate the greatest showman.”

“No you don’t!”

“Yes I do! PT Barnum had no excuse to be an asshole and the whole thing is just him being an asshole to his family who somehow accepts him again.”

“I think if you have a shitty life you could have the right to be an asshole, and he wasn’t that bad! He loved his wife, and the music is good!”

“Okay some, some of the songs are good, and the whole kiss with the red head was totally not his fault. But just cause you have a shit home life doesn’t mean you can be an ass. I would think it would make you want to be nicer so other people don’t experience the same treatment, you know?”

Ted pauses, seeming to consider, then nods and moves to take a drink from his water.

We spent the next while talking about random topics: stories, tv shows, movies, books, anything. At some point the waiter came back and set the food down without a word. Ted released his hand from mine to grab his fork, and I stared at the place his fingers had been. My hand felt cold and unfamiliar as I set it closer to my plate. I ate slowly, suddenly feeling uncomfortable, but Ted ate quicker than I thought he could.

“You were right these are delicious.”

“I told you, only good thing they have.”

I was probably close to finishing when the waiter came and slapped the receipt on the table. “We close in ten.”

As he walked away Ted chuckled. “It’s Sherri’s. They’re open 24 hours?”

I shook my head, smiling, as I dug around for some cash. I grimaced at the amount I had, realizing I would have barely two dollars left. I looked up, prepared to go broke, but Ted had already gotten up with cash in hand.

I reached out and grabbed on to his t-shirt as he walked towards the register. “Theodore, wait-“

“If I get to be your fake boyfriend I can pay for our fake date.” He smiled and continued walking. I rustled through all the small bills and coins I had. I was still holding them in my hands when he came back and sat down across from me.

“Y/N, i told you-“

“But, tip-“

“I got it. Finish your food.”

We sat in silence for a little longer, and as soon as I was done he stood up, shouldering the backpack I’d brought in with me. He stood next to me, holding out his arm towards me. I giggled as we linked arms and walked to the door. I made eye contact with the creepy waiter and watched as Ted flipped the guy off.

The air was cold as we exited the building. I probably would have shivered again if not for Ted’s jacket still around me. I used my free hand to pull it closed in front of me. We were silent getting into his car, but as he turned his key over to start the engine he looked to me and smiled.

“Thank you for an amazing fake first date.”

I laughed and felt a small heat rise to my cheeks. “You make an excellent fake boyfriend.”

He turned up the music as we pulled out of the parking lot. I could hear him scrape his bumper again, but he didn’t say anything about it this time. “So, how do I take you home?”

“Oh. You don’t have to! I can just take the bus-“

“y/n. It’s late and it’s dark and it’s cold. Please let me take you home.” We were stopped at a red light, and we paused, staring just at each other. Ted’s face was bright red, and I’m sure mine was too. But even when the light turned green, his face was still red, and I’m sure mine still was.

A car behind us held a sustained honk, and Ted jolted out of his stupor and peeled out across the intersection. Of course Ted wasn’t a bad driver. He was a highschool driver, so he drove to look cool half the time. Meaning right now he was driving with one hand at the top of the wheel and the other arm rested against on top of the center console. I made the judgement call to reach over and take his free hand in mine. I did so loosely, allowing him to let go if he wanted to, but if anything he laced his fingers with mine tighter. I looked down at our hands, smiling, then back towards Ted’s face. He was smiling widely, but when he saw me looking he made a stupid attempt of trying to play it off and act like he wasn’t smiling, but I started laughing so he eventually fell into laughter with me. We didn’t talk much on the way to my house other than me giving directions every now and then. He didn’t let go of my hand the whole time, except when he had to put the car in park.

I stared out his window towards the front of my dark building. I knew no one was home, and it was probably pretty cold inside since I usually forget to turn on the heater before leaving for school.

“I guess this is me.” He watched me throw my bag over my shoulder as I stepped out of the car. “Thank you Theodore. For everything.”

“Ted.”

“What?”

“You can call me Ted.”

I smiled at him. “Right. Thank you. Ted.”

I shut his car door and walked up my sidewalk, but I turned when I heard another car door shutting behind me.

“y/n, wait.” Ted was walking towards me, hands shoved in his pockets as the giant man toward over me. “I, uh, I really enjoyed being your fake boyfriend tonight.”

“I enjoyed it too-“

“And I enjoyed sweeping the stage with you. And holding your hand. And dancing with you. And driving you home. And arguing over food. And laughing. And sharing music. And pretty much everything. And I don’t want it to be because I’m your fake boyfriend you happened to be on a fake date with because we happened to be in the same place at the same time.” He sucked in a breath as he took my hand gently. He stared at our fingers and palms pressed together. “I want to do all that stuff because I’m your real boyfriend. I want to dance with you and take you on dates to shitty diners and act all jealous because it’s real.”

I could feel my face burning. “You were jealous?”

He laughed a little bit. “Oh my God, yes, I was jealous, he was flirting!!” I laughed, gripping his hand a little harder, then pulling it downwards. “Ouch! What the-“

I placed a kiss on his cheek, and I watched him short circuit as his whole face turned red. “Theodore, I would like to let you know, I am free tomorrow night for a date if that’s what your asking.”

“OH. Okay! Yeah is 7 okay?”

“7 is perfect.”

“Yes! Yes yes!” He pulled me in for a hug and kissed the top of my head. “Oh my god! Okay. Tomorrow, 7!”

I laughed, still trapped in his arms. “I expect dancing.”

“Oh absolutely.” He pushed me back a bit, smiling as he stared at me. “I have to go home. I have to get ready!”

“For a date in 24 hours?”

“Yes! I have plans to make!” He kissed me on the forehead again and ran back to the car. Hand on the handle, he looked back at me, smiling. “I can’t wait.”

[1kook]

hope you don’t feel offended about what I have to say but the way you built nc, specially the characters, the way you write their dialogue, interactions, how they share anecdotes from years back and make it feel so raw, the attitude that you gave each one of them without being repetitive, their beliefs, their unique thoughts, behavior, how you explain their thoughts, their quirks and perks... all that makes me feel like I’m reading a whole ass book, like you literally have a whole editorial working beside you in each word you share, I find your imagination and way to portray words so beautiful and natural, so funny. You make me cry and laugh mi lungs out in just a chapter. I came past to the point where I don’t really can empathize with being y/n and I refer and think of her as just an oc, she’s sooooo amazingly well written that it’s not that you were too specific or something that makes me not feel like I’m her; it’s just that your level of writing and development just takes me to a whole new world where nc jungkook is not bts jungkook at all, it’s just his face, you created this man of every pussys dream that resembles but doesn’t the actual jungkook, when I think of nc jungkook I totally dissociate the jeon jungkook from nc jeon jungkook, they are not the same person, and i know that it’s the whole point of fan fiction but for example that doesn’t happen when I read bad boy jk or fuckboy jk or nerd jk, they make me feel off for some reason and I have to really push myself through it cuz is unnatural, fan fiction is about creating this scenario surrounding someone you idolize, but still nc has something that goes beyond that, I personally thinks it’s because of how you portrayed him so meticulously different but familiar, so in the back of my head when I see jk in the pic of nc, something just tells me that he’s an actor portraying nc jk lol, and you go beyond just surrounding our idol and writing about him, it almost feel like he was created for and it only exists in nc

i really feel like that went nowhere, I just wanted to tell you that you are so talented, you are the only writer that makes me feel this way, I feel like they are out of a franchise book characters, that they are known for everyone like Romeo and Juliet, like they are gonna get a movie adaptation. So thanks for sharing a piece of your mind, I’m so grateful that I found you <3

oh my god, the way u said ‘please don't be offended’ in the beginning I thought u were going to roast me or tell me u didn't like it 😭 had me SO SCARED TO READ THE REST LMAO, but im glad I did!!!! reading your message just made me feel so stupidly happy and proud about the stories I write (especially nc) and my writing abilities and techniques in general!! ive mentioned this many times, but i don't aspire to be a novelist or have writing be a part of my career, so I know im not the best in certain areas/have rlly amateurish skills and have a lot of room to improve lol, but to read that you think my characters are well developed enough to be considered characters on their own.... like they’re part of a franchise.... made my ego so big fjanfjkaes THANK YOU!!! this ask really made me feel proud of my ability to create characters. since all I write are xreader stories and in these types of stories the physical image of the reader is ambiguous/meant to be blank, I really try my best to make the focus of the ‘reader’ character be their personalities, and im really honored you think ive done a good job of that!!!

I've had a few other ppl tell me before that they don't associate nc jk with the real jk and like its always made sense, bc when I write jk in fan fic im technically just using his LIKENESS and appearance and attributing it to a character that's otherwise my own, but when u said it feels like he’s more of an actor 😭 made me laugh a little lol, all I can imagine is the acting credits in movies ‘JEON JUNGKOOK starring as JEON JUNGKOOK’ rjagkjehb

thank you for taking the time to send me such a thoughtful and heartfelt ask, it really made my day!!!! this ask just made me feel so grateful and happy with the community ive been able to foster on this blog through writing all over again <3333

[jam-is-my-food]

writing asks. all of them. ( for 50 uhh just write a paragraph about how hot emmy raver-lampman is in a suit please and thank you </3 )

fUCK YOU NESSIE

THAT’S IT IM DOING IT JUST TO SPITE YOU

this is gonna be long asf click keep reading at risk of death or boredom

1.     Do you listen to music when you write?

not usually, it's distracting

 2.     Are you a pantser or plotter?

naturally pantser but if i wanna actually finish smth i gotta plot it hh

 3.     Computer or pen and paper?

computer i'm not a boOmer /j i so am

 4.     Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?

bitch i wiSh

actually technically i was published in this anthology thing once? and i think i have a piece in a magazine somewhere on the internet i forget those are cool

but yeah bye getting a novel published is my d r e a m (gotta write a novel first tho lawl)

 5.     How much writing do you get done on an average day?

n o t  m u c h

unless i get one of my bUrsts aka finishing a 2.3K almoons chapter before 8am the other week after procrastinating it for like two months 

but yeah jdsghliuedskj it um depends often none

 6.     Single or multiple POV?

i answered that for kiri so i'll just copy paste it over loll

mmm it depends. usually i do single? but i do do multiple occasionally. i almost never do alternating chapters, though, it’s usually more like part one is narrated by person a, part two person b etc.

 7.     Standalone or series?

baha like i could ever write a series (please, please be jinxing yourself rn refster) aside from that one trilogy when i was 7 but uh yeah atm just standalones but a series would be so cool in future 

 8.     Oldest WIP

the aforementioned trilogy. chronicles of clara. it is incREDIBLE. 10/10. so good. so, so good.

 9.     Current WIP

i haven't actually mentioned it on tumblr yet but hehehe it's called the wordweaver's apprentice it's fantasy and i'm v excited about it :DD that was ooc but :DD

 10.  Do you set yourself deadlines?

(also answered for kiri, copy-pasting over)

hahahahhahahuhdkjashdglauhsdaugediuskjlkehdsgihkdskhgdkjx

i? try?

it does not go well?

but then i never finish my projects?

send help pls im dying

11.  Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

lmao the list is too long

 12.  Describe your perfect writing space

somewhere w/o distractions

 13.  Describe your writing process from idea to polished

hm. idea. that's cool. that's cool. write it down. hype myself up. forget about it within a week.

el em mayo

but like

f r LMAO

okay but fr fr idk i don't usually finish stuff but it'd be idea, brainstorm, plot (sort of), write, agonize, write, finish, throw in the other direction and never touch again bc revision whos she

 14.  How do you deal with self-doubts?

cry and spam my friends

 15.  How do you deal with writer’s block?

i don’t - mm. i don’t tend to get writer’s block? or like - idk what to classify as writer’s block? bc sometimes i get blocked for a certain story, but then i get really into like poetry or sum for a week so it’s fine idk

 16.  How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?

o n e as i said i don't - revision is a no

 17.  What writing habits or rituals do you have?

uHhHhhhhh idk???

 18.  If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

*laughs in gfc*

 19.  How do you keep yourself motivated?

i don't. if you have any ideas please hmu i need it.

 20.  How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

m a n y.

21.  Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?

mmmmmmmmm i love cass i haven't written her in too long but i think she's probably my most well-done character to date and i'm so proud of her badkghewiludkjs

 22.  Who is/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?

c y i l l

though possible imeini (ship name needs revision) in future we shall see (from twa) (the aforementioned newish wip)

 23.  Favourite author

there are Many

 24.  Favourite genre to write and read

fantasy maybe? ooh dystopia is fun

 25.  Favourite part of writing

everything about it when i'm motivated hh, my problem is getting more motivation

 26.  Favourite writing program

oh idk huh?

27.  Favourite line/scene

idk?

 28.  Favourite side character

j o o s t

 29.  Favourite villain

i def have one but i forget

 30.  Favourite idea you haven’t started on yet

too many

31.  Least favourite part of writing

motivating myself :/

 32.  Most difficult character to write

mmmm i'm not really in the throes of a wip atm so idk

 33.  Have you ever killed a main character?

yessir

 34.  What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

drunk will was surprisingly difficult in a fun way. def not the hardest but yeah

 35.  What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

god idk

36.  Last sentence you wrote

And then Mei was gone, and in the space that she'd filled, Imani whispered, "I wish I was like you."

 37.  First sentence or your current WIP

It is said that when we came to this stretch of Tatys land, it was empty.

38.  Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had

mm there was one about anthropomorphic chickens battling sentient fruits, the fruits in question also being six-year olds

 39.  Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had

s e e  a b o v e

 40.  Share some backstory for one of your characters

cass's mom used to have a drug problem & she would leave her alone for long stretches of time, she went to rehab and is now sober but it's where cass gets her abandonment issues from

41.  Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?

just write! no one taught me how to do anything, and there's no rules per se, aside from basic grammatical stuff. do what you wanna do, don't worry about others' reactions. this is cliche asf but true.

 42.  How do you feel about love triangles?

mostly gross, but they can be good.

 43.  What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

adapt. i  g o  w i t h  t h e  f l o w.

 44.  How much research do you do?

not much usually, depends on the genre of story. i do as much as i feel i need to. and ofc i have the random writer search history.

 45.  How much world building do you do?

in the past, not much. twa (once again my new wip) is fantasy, though, so i' m attempting to remedy that.

 46.  Do you reread your own stories?

i do! it's fun to look back at them after a few years and see how much i've improved.

 47.  Best way to procrastinate

random character headcanons/doodle writey spurt thingies

 48.  What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?

bAHA this one scene in the cHrOniCLeS of cLaRa book two when this girl lisa who was 100% self-insert got annoyed at her little sister daisy (sister-insert) for chewing too loudly and then proceeded to use her wAtEr pOwErs to like flood the house. that part was less self-insert.

 49.  Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?

bye that's so hard. c a d m u s & l a u r e n t tho cinnamon rolls are liFE.

 50.  Write a paragraph about how hot emmy raver-lampman is in a suit please and thank you

i don't gotta write my own bitch i have everything i need to plagiarize from right here

"Raver-Lampman’s enthusiasm is contagious. So is her laugh. It comes from deep inside, just like her voice, and it rings out — ricocheting off furniture and walls. Her head is shaved, all except for a distinctive swath of tight curls on the top and left side of her head. She has the tiniest septum ring in her nose, and a tattoo of what looks like a musical note behind her right ear."

- the clearly gay jessica belt

thank you for the ASKS darLING and thank you if you read this idk why or whether you're okay but yup

[katsukikitten]

Fading Summer

He held the purple controller with deadly hands, sitting shoulder to shoulder, feet from the TV with Kirishima, Denki, and Deku. The N64 you brought into the dorms has been the center of attention since you pulled it out of the dull cardboard box . Purple grape with one purple grape controller and the other jungle green. The other two controllers where black and midnight blue that you, the ash blonde, Kiri and Mina spent hours....weeks finding so more people could play either Mario kart or Smash bros together.

At first the scarlet eyed boy was aprahensive about the old gaming system. He saw how Kirishima and Pikachu would spend hours upon hours on their shared switch that could have been spent studying or training.

That was until he was challenged by you one lazy afternoon.

"Come on Katsu play one game with us!!!" Eiji begged, patting a spot between you and himself. Katasuki lounged on the couch, legs outstretched as he was planning to watch a movie before you two barged in.

Before you used your puppy dog eyes to get the remote so you two could play.

"No shark face." He sneered over the rim of his book. He locked eyes with you before a smile crept onto those soft lips.

"He's just scared he'll get his asked kicked is all Eiji." She said haunty, as she selected her character.

"Oh like hell I am." He snarls, climbing from the couch and forcing you and Kiri to scoot away from one another to make room.

He never could ignore the call of a challenge. And from then on he bested everyone, everytime in whatever game but you.

When he asked why you wouldn't want a switch instead your face lit up, as if reliving the bitter sweet nostalgia as you said.

"I've just had so many good times playing this with my friends and family. I just can't give it up."

So he had learned to love the feeling of the smooth plastic in his hands as this small thing was something that made him feel closer to you. Especially now that you two spent countless summer hours right here in front of the TV, laughing, shoulder to shoulder with a notebook keeping score of each others wins.

A notebook that lies open to the dark eyed boy, displaying the harsh tallies of class 1As winnings, everyone had at least one inky black tally before Katsuki played.

Everyone but you who had been absent since finishing dinner. His eyes wander to the stairs leading to the girls dorms before "PLAYER ONE WINNER" is bellowed from the TV.

"Come on Katsu let someone else win!" Mina whines as she pouts on the couch

"Nah you dip shits should just get better." He says dropping the controller to make his way to the couch.

"Where's Y/N?" Deku asks earning a glare from the ash blonde for asking first, "She's missing the last tournament before school starts again."

"Oh she said she wasn't feeling too well at dinner." Momo says, bringing the snacks from the kitchen. "She said she was going to bed."

You press the heels of your palms into your eyes.

"Get your shit together." You growl harshly at your reflection. Fat tears threatening to spill again, "Why are you crying over something so fucking stupid!"

Your reflection doesn't answer as you stare yourself in the eye, it only mirrors you splashing hot water onto your face as you scrub a towel over your cheeks.

When you hold eye contact again, it's as if you weren't crying.

You paced in your room, damning yourself for thinking sleep would soothe the weighted void that sits in your chest. Chiseling away at your heart until you were compelled to move.

To run, if even for a moment to have a taste of the dying summer air on your tongue one more time.

You stalk down the stairs quietly, having waited long enough for the tournament to be over. The light from the TV glows faintly in the dark hallway, you eased into the shadows on silent feet with your eyes on the prize.

"Oi, You're not as quiet as you think you are." You jump what feels like six feet in the air. Hand hovering over the cool handle of the front door.

The gruff voice comes from the direction of the living room and you do not need to turn around to know who it belongs too.

You thought for sure that whoever was in the living room was either knocked out or absorbed in the late night TV.

You feel your heart hammer in your chest, blinking furiously at the lingering tears. You're afraid your voice might give you away but your hesitation will tip him off.

"Oh Katsu, you're up so late. And on the first school night!" You tease him as you normally would, though you keep your back to him, he sucks his teeth.

"And where are you going at 10:30 at night?" You don't have to see him to know he is crossing his arms with distaste.

"Im just stepping out to the convenience store." You huff, not sure how much longer you can use your voice evenly.

The sun had already set so early tonight compared to the rest of summer. The sun no longer wanting to kiss the earth, to kiss you for over eight hours a day.

No it was dwindling and dwindling fast.

And that *scared* you.

"This late? By yourself? I don't think so." He says darkly. Hiding the concern in his voice the only way he knows how, with malice.

"Oh Katsuki-kun. I'm a strong independent young hero. I can handle myself for a ten minute walk." Except it won't be a ten minute walk, your feet will urge you further. You pull the handle and with it the door just for it to be slammed shut by a hot palm. He looms over you now, so close you can feel his breath on your ear when he speaks.

"Not by yourself. It can wait til morning. If its medicine I'll get it." You feel his eyes on you as they survey, you bite your lip debating on tricking him.

On sending him on a wild goose chase just so you could sneak out on that ten minute walk.

But you think better of it, he would be honest with you if the shoe was on the other foot and I'm sure he'd want you to be honest now.

Whether you wanted to admit it or not you knew in the back of your head that Bakugou Katsuki could read you like a book and vice versa.

It was only natural with how much time the two of you spent together this summer.

This now decaying summer that you could smell in the air after the rain, the slight smell of decomposing leaves that is so faint you almost think it false until Mina made that damn comment this afternoon. Wrapped in her hot pink towel, yellow eyes glued on Kiri who wrestles with Katsu in the pool.

*"Its gonna be winter before we know it." *

And those words hadn't left you since.

Not even now under the heated gaze of your crush.

The one who kinda reminded you of summer itself.

Hot, explosive like a storm and almost unpredictable.

"I'm going Katsuki." You say darkly, most you faulter but he is not like most, "So you can either let me go alone or you come with me."

He scarlet eyes rover over you, unsure of what you're feeling in the low cast of the moonlight from outside but your tone tells him something is wrong whatever it is.

Something tells him you aren't going to the corner store either.

"Fine." He bites out, resisting the urge to push you against the door to tell you that you are not going, instead he pushes away, "Just let me grab my fucking phone."

He walks backwards to the living room sending you a glare before turning on his heel.

A glare in warning not to leave without him. So you don't.

He huffs as the two of you walk in silence, eyes watching the corner store fade behind the both of you.

"So where are we really headed?" He sighs in mock agony.

"You'll see!!" Your mood has improved some, at least since you pulled in a giant breathe of air when the two of you stepped outside.

The crickets still singing in the warm night, calling to you in their song.

Your eyes look to the sky to see the full moon, your whole body relishing the warmth of the night time air. Smile so wide on your face that it hurts.

A smile that Katsuki finds contagious as his lips turn upwards, eyes glued to you.

You hear a clock chime signaling the time and you gasp, grabbing onto Katsuki's rough hand, dragging him as you break into a full spring.

"We're gonna miss the train!" You yell to him which encourages him to keep pace.

Once the doors close behind you, you both grip your knees gasping for air.

The only other person on the late night train smiles, eyes twinkling with sudden memories of their own late nights.

"Where the fuck are we going?" Katsuki asks with little bite in his voice as you settle in front of the window.

"Its a secret!!!" You sing song as the train rushes by scenery that he watches you drink up as if this is the last time you'll see it.

It isn't until the train crosses the bridge does he realize you two are headed to the last stop.

Which come faster than he'd like, only now is he realizing he could watch you stare out at the stars all night, the train chimes overhead and you stand pulling him once more.

You find yourselves in a huge crowd and you smile pulling him further through the throngs of people. You stop when you see little stands set up every where filled to the brim even so late at night. You stop suddenly to ask a woman in a beautiful yukata that shimmers in pinks and golds like the setting sun.

"Excuse me what is this?" You ask politely, your curiosity earning a huge smile.

"Ah this is the End of the Summer Festival!" When she says the word end you squeeze Katsuki's hand tighter, "All things summer is here for you to enjoy!"

He watches your face almost become crest fallen.

"Why so late in the day," His tone comes out harsh and the woman glances between the two of you giving a small blush.

"Ah it's an all day event so everyone can enjoy it! Some people work so late they were missing it and others just couldnt say good bye to summer before sunset. Please enjoy the festival!"

You blink hard and try to take in your surroundings. You spy many little market stands filled with food, games and hell even an arcade.

Katsuki does not pull away from your soft grip on his hand, in fact his interlocks your fingers so you can pull him better. You don't look back when he does it and you don't look back as you pull him through the stands.

You start by buying you both Yakitori, followed by mouthwatering Ayu, some Takoyaki and all sumed up by sweet Taiyaki.

That is until you spot the famous colored cotton candy shaped like a fat unicorn horn.

Katsuki does not complain while he waits in line with you, your eyes finding your next adventure. He does not complain when you ask him to take a picture of you underneath the paper lanterns, that hit you in such a way that he cannot take his eyes off of you, or your smiling face as you stare at him.

You do not realize he sends the picture to himself as you slide your hand back into his offering him some of the sugary string to which he takes a large bite.

Letting the sugar dissolve agaisnt his tongue he wonders if your lips will be as sweet if not sweeter. He blushes but you do not notice as you drag him to a game.

"Step right up! Only 500 yen!" The man calls, "Break the record of seven watermelons with one punch and win the grand prize!"

Your eyes widen with glee as you see the oversized cat plush holding your favorite dessert, a taiyaki bun, in its obnoxiously cute black paws. The thing is so cute and sweet just looking at it makes Katsuki a little nauseous but when he sees the want glinting in your eyes he reluctantly releases your hand with out your asking to crack his neck.

"Alright line up as many as you've got." His eyes gleam with competative arrogance, forearm dancing with small explosions.

"Alright. If you can do 10 then I will throw in 10,000 yen." The elderly man says smugly lining up over 25 watermelons.

"Heh. Get ready to pay up gramps. Oh and of course I want that cat too."

"Sure thing kid. But you gotta get seven if you wanna win that for your pretty girlfriend over there." He laughs and Katsuki's cheeks burn with rage and blush.

He winds up and packs it with punch as he slams his fist into the first watermelon obliterating it and the shock from the blast causes the other 25 watermelons to explode as well. You squeal with delight.

"KATSUKI-KUN YOU WON!" Practically jumping with joy over his triumph confirming that he would do it all over again just to see you that happy.

Even if it took him braking 25,000 watermelons he would fucking do it for just a glimpse of the smile you've been hiding the past few days.

Katsuki smirks with manic malice as he jumps up to grab the oversized cat before holding out his hand.

The elderly man stands in uter shock as he stares down the red mess before him hesitant as he digs around for his little silver box of cash. He counts out the 10k yen sending you two on your way.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" You say as you squeeze the hell out of the cat, still jumping. Katsu sucks his teeth unable to keep the genuine smile off of his own face.

"It was nothing." He says as you slip your ever soft palm to his. His skin buzzes everytime yours touches his and he gladly let's you take the lead.

"Ah I'm thirsty after all that excitement." You beam, Bakugou spies a soda stand, fingering the easily got yen in his pocket.

"I'll get us a cherry soda, stay put." He says as he stands you off to the side since the line is hatefully long. He stares down at his phone at the picture of you he just took, smiling like a mad man as he waits.

You will always be worth the wait.

"This is your final warning." You growl darkly, causing Bakguou to look up with sharp eyes. He sees you placing the stuffed animal on the bench as this guy harasses you.

"Come on sugar tits." Katsuki practically blows up in line then and there as he stalks towards your back. He slips his right arm around your front pressing into your left hip bone pushing you into his body. He tilts his head as he left hand ignites inches from the guys face.

"Did you just fucking call *my* girl sugar tits?" His voice is so dark near your ear that you blush, letting your quirk fade from your palms.

And did he just say my girl?

Your gut clenches as he pulls you impossibly closer. Hand still letting off pops.

"I think you owe her a fucking apology before I make you sorry you ever thought you could disrespect a woman like that you stupid fuck."

"I..I'm sorry." The guy stammers with his now burnt off eyebrows as he bows deeply.

"Grab Neko-chan, Y/N." Katsuki purrs in your ear barely letting you go to do so. You hold onto the cat with all your might, heart banging against your rib cage as you overthink the encounter.

He was just doing it to be nice right?

You hesitantly reach for his hand before changing your mind. He glances at you with searing red eyes offering you his open palm.

"Where to next?" He asks, you stare at the invitation, frozen for a moment before you grab onto him with a strong hold.

"This way!" You smile taking him and Neko-chan in tow. You lead him to the small arcade challanging him to see who can win the most in street fighter.

He somehow kicks your ass by one match and you smile at this genuine excitement for victory. He catches you staring as you blush, nuzzling half of your face into Neko-chan's fur, making your eyes seem larger and doe like.

Katsuki swallows, more blush dusting his cheeks as he asks is a gruff tone.

"Whatchya starin at?" You giggle in response.

"Nothing!" You fight another giggle, arms tightening around black fur, "I just like your real smile is all."

He sucks his teeth and looks away not trusting himself to ignore the urge to shove that damn plush out of the way to see the smile you're hiding behind it, or to keep himself from kissing those lips that are curled up.

"I'll be right back." He leans in close to you with nothing separating you two but Neko-chan, "Try not to let anyone else hit on ya kay?"

"K...kay." He's pretty sure that's the first time you've stumbled over your words, positive that's the first time he's seen your cheeks so red.

On the way back from the bathroom he spies two little necklaces in the display case of prizes. One is a purple N64 console and the other is the matching controller. He likes the idea of them around your neck thanks to him and taps the counter with his freshly won 10,000 yen tapping at the set.

He produces the two small chains and watches as your eyes light up.

"Aaahhh!" You say separating the two as you slide the N64 console around your neck, holding out the controller to him. He frowns as he glares at it.

"You're supposed to wear both." He growls, though his grimace fades with every second you stare at him.

"No silly they are best friend necklaces!!!" You half sequal as you shove it over his neck. You tuck it beneath his black skull shirt, "See now it's our secret."

You smile a devilish smirk before you glance at the time on the analog clock behind him. You grab onto his hand with a death grip.

"Katsuki come on we are gonna miss it!" You whine as you drag him back into the busy street further and further through the festival until the people are so few and far between he wonders where you're taking him.

That is until his smells the tang of salted air brought in by what is normally a refreshing breeze that feels chilled from the changing seasons.

You rush him to the sand, breathing in the heavily summer scent, kicking off your shoes to feel the once warmed sand.

"Come on Katsuki-kun come on!" You urge as he fights with his own shoes willing to follow you to the ends of the Earth and it feels that way where you're taking him. Past a small bonfire to a secluded part of the beach where the moon hangs high over the ocean.

One can see all of the stars in the universe there in that little spot, his eyes look up drinking it all in before looking at an even more beautiful sight.

His heart skips a beat as your eyes dance in the starlight, cheeks now moon kissed and hair ruffled from the wind off the ocean, you close your eyes for just a moment to breath it all in.

The last bit of summer that you can smell before it all begins to disappear into sharper, more crisp smells.

He's close enough to you that he can smell the salt and sugar clinging to your skin, to your lips. He sighs, content for once in his life. Then the stars begin to fall in the deep reflection of your eyes.

"Katsu look!" You whisper shout and he follows your gaze to watch the sky fall.

"Make a wish make a wish!" You urge again and he silently prays that this moment will never end.

But sadly it does, as quickly as it came it went and your crest fallen face has his heart jumping into his throat. He attempts to swallow it down.

"Something wrong?" He asks so softly you wonder if it is still Bakugou sitting next to you and that one little question causes the tears to spill.

Yes something was wrong, terribly wrong.

"Oi..." He pulls you to him shielding your tears from the world as his hand subconsciously trailed up and down your spine, "Why are you crying? Are you not enjoying the last bit of summer?"

"That's it Katsu that's the problem. S..sum..." You choke on your tears before continuing, "Summer is ending and before you know it, it will be winter again. And then a new year and then summer will have flown by faster and faster until the next thing you know my whole life has slipped through my fingers. And I will be left feeling as if I missed all of it. Just like I am now, like I always do."

You fist his shirt as you cry, let it all out all the horrible thoughts of your life going by in the blink of an eye, as every new winter brings you more and more unhappiness and you are unsure why.

You only find solace in summer as things seem to slow down. When the days are stretched deep into the evening and each hour is blessed with such happy memories. Times of you with your N64, of you spending many hours outside baking in the heat of the sun, of miserable days when even the icecream is happy to melt. And especially this summer, *this* night that you've spent with Katsuki.

Memories you can never replace and pray

Hope and plead to any Kamisama who is listening that they will never allow you to forget.

"Hey it's all right." He soothes, "We can come back to this festival every year to help say good bye."

You hiccup, your tears slowing.

"And if that doesn't work I'll lasso the fucking sun for you. I'll be your summer incarnate. I'll do anything, *anything* to keep my girl smiling. To keep you smiling. All you have to do is fucking name it."

You blink away the tears as you stare up into his face and you can tell he's serious that he means it. Red fireworks erupt over head, lighting his eyes with an undying fire and you kiss him. Kiss him how you wanted to all summer. Slow burn that quickly ignites as your hands grab onto one another. Each fire work encouraging deeper and deeper kisses until you pull away. Almost gasping for breath. Your skin feeling heated as it does when you lie out in the sun too long. You hold his gaze, heart fluttering, eyes pricking with tears once more.

"Then lasso me the fucking sun, Katsuki."

[witchygardens]

THIS IS A LONG POST IM SORRY

A few months ago, I got inspired by an art piece made by the wonderful @smiledog15578 (original idea was created by @bingiplierdaily ) and created a character similar to the Actor. At first, I just wanted her to remain a nameless character, but I found myself creating her back story.

This is the Bard's story, or the Entity of Markiplier Manor. It takes place outside of time, but before the events of Who Killed Markiplier.

Warning: mild gore, abuse, themes that are found in Who Killed Markiplier

The Bard used to be a famous playwrite in her world, and she attended the Academy to improve her skills. There, she met the Professor, and they fell in love. At first, their love was pure, but over time, they both changed. The Bard grew obsessive and controlling, the Professor grew greedy and wrathful. They would verbally fight one another frequently, and would go out of their way to visibly ignore each other for weeks on end.

After one of these times, the Bard invites the Professor to her mansion - now referred to as Markiplier Manor - trying her best to make amends. She sets down guidelines on how to love her, most are very strict, and the Professor snaps. He drags her down to her basement, throws her into a chair, and slits her throat and wrists. He leaves her to die and runs off with her playscripts, publishing them under his own name.

After her death, the Bard wakes up in the middle of a snowy forest, wearing her signature red evening gown. She immediately bolts up, coughing up blood into the snow, now realizing she doesn't remember a thing. Where she was, how she got there, why she was there, and how she got the wounds. She only knows to head towards the rundown cabin several yards into the forest. She finds firewood, cloth to tend to her wounds, and warmer clothes.

There, her cycle starts. Chop trees, hunt for food, repair the cabin, repeat. Chop trees, hunt for food, repair the cabin, repeat. This cycle is seemingly endless, and an unspecified amount of time passes. Enough time for the cabin to be repaired and a clearing to be formed around it. One day, as she makes herself dinner, she noticed the mirror on the wall no longer holds her reflection. She goes to touch the glass, only to find her hand falling through nothing. She arms herself with her axe and steps into the mirror to investigate.

At the end of long hallway stands a red door, revealing a familiar bedroom on the other side. She can't recall why she recognizes the bedroom, let alone the whole house. She hears wailing downstairs and finds a man laying in the middle of the kitchen floor. She raises her axe and begins to interrogate him.

He calls himself the Actor, and his wife left him for his best friend, blah blah blah - you know the plot of who killed markiplier. Tragic hero this, gonna make you a villain that - we know this. But this "Actor" says something that triggers a memory, and for the first time in years, she finally learns that she's dead.

She's taken back, she's distraught, confused, as one should be when finding out they're really a ghost. The Actor lets her stay, and she never returns to the cabin, except once; to retrieve her red dress. She wanders the halls of the manor at night in her dress, slowly remembering, and slowly learning more about the Actor. About his flaws, his ego, his need for revenge. All of these characteristics started out small, but she began to fuel them.

She'd plant an idea in his head to worsen his bad qualities. "You were meant to be the hero," she'd tell him. "Such a pity something so tragic happened to someone as incredible as you." "Celine should be yours." She gave him the idea of the party, making him believe that it was his own idea; kill himself, frame William as the murderer, have the Bard revive him, and win back Celine's heart.

Of course, she had a plan as well. She couldn't let the Professor get away with her murder. And remember, time doesn't really matter where she comes from, so he could still be alive. She'd need the Actor's help, of course, so she convinced him to sell his soul to her. After he does this, she uses him as a puppet, practicing the best way to kill off the Professor. She reassures him that it's all for a purpose, but never tells him what for. Her plan was to take over the Actor's body after he died, push him back into his own mind, and then seek revenge on her killer.

But plans changed as Celine walked into the manor. She saw how broken and mangled the Actor's body was. After all, she stabbed him 37 times, poisoned, beaten, strangled, drowned and shot him - in that order. The Bard saw how powerful Celine was, and broke her promise with the Actor. She'd no longer help him get his wife back, no, she'd take over Celine's body.

We know the ending of who killed markiplier; the Entity steals Celine's body, Actor steals Damien's, and Celine, Damien, and Y/N are forced into Actor's mutilated body before Y/N is pushed into the mirror.

And that's all I have for the Bard's story. I want it to be unfinished, and I don't want to know if she got her revenge.

I ALSO DO NOT WANT PEOPLE TO LIKE THE BARD. SHES LIKE THE ACTOR, NO REDEEMING QUALITIES. SHE IS NOT A INNOCENT BEING.

Still, I wanted to write angst, so I did.

[cryptidofthekeys]

All the writer asks!!!!!!

I’ve already answered the pen n paper one so I’ll leave that one out and answer the rest haha

ink: what do you do to “set the mood” when writing?

hmmm… well to usually set the mood would depend on the type of story I’m writing, if its horror/really angsty shit then I’m definitely going for dark themed music, if its something fluffy n cute- then im gonna go for some really happy upbeat music, so to set the mood- it’d usually depend on the genre

diary: how many pieces have you written that are just for you or will never see the light of day?

……Shhh… Let’s keep those my dirty little secret… (their not nsfw, thats not what I mean by that just to clarify)

journal: do you ever write just so you can enjoy something to read?

Hmm I guess I’ve done it once or twice before, but I dont do it too often-

novella: do you prefer to write short stories, one-shots, or entire novels?

I don’t think I’ve even came CLOSE to an entire novel but, I do a lot of short-stories and ESPECIALLY one-shots, im not very good at chapter based stories or anything

pulitzer: tell about/link a piece where you felt your writing was the best.

Ooooh fuck this is a tough one, Im too lazy to link it but- in my Yan!Henrik story there were some parts I ABSOLUTELY loved and felt were p damn good and in the werewolf story I wrote as well, some good parts in there too, but I definitely feel more fond over some of the scenes in the Yan!Hen story than any other one

genre: what genre do you prefer to write in?

Honestly, I’m pretty open to genres, like- fantasy, science-fiction, etc- the whole shabang- im not too picky bout any of them-

narrator: what pov do you like writing in best?

hmmm I guess like- wouldnt it technically be in third person with the way I write, for the reader its always You and or they, I always keep a story gender-neutral so that way all readers can be who they want to be in the stories, it can give them a better chance to imagine themselves in said position, now if i got a specific thing to do, male, female, non-binary, etc- then yeah I’d do that

backstory: how did you come to love writing?

That’s a- actually kinda simple tbh- its not an interesting story- At first I was actually unsure about it, but then- the more I wrote, the more I got super into it-  It was just… super fun to me after I did it for awhile

time-lapse: how long have you been writing (as a hobby or for work)?

It’s a hobby for now, but I do wish I could open commissions- but hmm its been like, maybe 5-6 years by now, maybe even a bit longer

characterization: describe your favorite character(s) you’ve written.

You should know this for sure haha, my favorite characters to write with tho- I’ll just say who they are, all the septic egos p much except… im still not too confident with writing Angus yet, some of the Iplier egos, like the Jims, Harold, and Eric, and I’m trying to branch out to other fandoms, I like writing with David n Daniel, from the cc fandom, and I’m trying to work on Dream Daddy characters too, Joseph, Robert, Mary, etc- and then my own characters too- I dont write wiht them often but I try

carnegie: what authors and/or books/stories have inspired you to write or influenced your work?

hmmm… I get inspired fairly easily so it’d be hard for me to name anything like that off the top of my head tbh

faulkner: what tropes do you LOVE writing? which ones are your guilty pleasure?

…. Why not ALL the tropes? …okay maybe not ALL of them

o’connor: what tropes/genres do you dislike writing?

Eh, im a p open person to tropes/genres- I mean unless like a trope could count as in, like- “it was all a dream” or “you were the killer all along” or some shit like that, then that type of shit isnt REALLY my cup of tea

dickinson: what insecurities do you have about your own writing? what do you think you should improve on?

There’s a lotta things I think I could improve on, honestly… I think, its not a matter of insecurity really, more so like- no matter who you are, there’s always room for improvements, I think we all improve on things every day, writing, drawing, roleplaying, even simple things- after all, there’s nowhere to really go except forward in life, so I just tend to go with my own flow, and if I improve than I’m happy with that, if I dont? Welp, that just means I still have a bit to go-

playlist: what kind of music/songs help you write? do you have a writing playlist?

oh god I w i s h I was organized enough to fucking- have a writing playlist ashdjshfdsj, it just depends on my mood- sometimes I get distracted by songs tho-

record: have you written things based off of songs? do you like to?

…I wrote one, its a really old one and im not too proud of it, but, people like it apparently so I keep it up since it seems to make em happy and thats what matters in that regard, but nah im not BIG on writing things based off songs

nobel: have you published anything you’ve written? online or irl?

Hmmm not yet, I don’t think I’m ready to physically publish my stories or anything, although my dad does encourage it, he tells me I should find a publisher or whatever and publish some stories (it wouldnt be ones with like- characters from things like camp camp, dream daddy, etc of course- it’d be ones with my own characters)

notepad: can you write anywhere or do you have to be in a specific place and mood to write?

D e f i n i t e l y a specific place and mood, my mood’s totally off and wrong right now and its frustrating bc im trying to write but the body and brain is like no motherfucker, be in pain and hate me more than you already do

parchment: how often do you or your personal life influence your writing?

I dont… know if ANY of my personal life has… influenced my writing? not that I know of anyways

dedication: if you were to publish a book or multiple, who would you dedicate the book(s) to?

I think… I dont know who I’d dedicate the books too or anything-

trope: what’s a pet peeve you have about writing?

…honestly? The one pet peeve I, myself, have with writing is the I/Me POV- now of course its fine if others use it, it could be easier to them, or they simply like it a lot, but I myself, just- cant fucking s t a n d that type of pov

input: what’s something you hate that people say to you about writing/your writing?

Okay- I need to be honest here, bc I get a lot of them, when I constantly state that I only do one shots and not chapter stories but the whole “pls continue” “another part to this please” “Do more of this” that doesnt really make me wanna do more, it makes me wanna move on actually from any of that, like im not about that plz continue, do more!!! type of comments

critic: what’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received about writing?

Oh god I’ve received TONS of good advice from people, especially when it comes to some of the German I use for Henrik, I will admit… I’ve been severely slacking with learning my German, and I…. I deeply regret it tbh, but- I never mind and am actually grateful when someone corrects me when using a word incorrectly in a sentence or whatever

mifflin: what do you feel is your strong suit in writing?

A n g s t

houghton: what’s something you love that people compliment your pieces on?

I love all compliments tbh, I especially love comments on my angst like NO HOW DARE YOU OP, or OP wha t the f uck- my  he a r t, or anything like that- …im a sadistic lil gremlin arent I? I love breakin hearts with angst, but like any compliments I receive on my stories are all greatly appreciated, I just most of the time I dont have the time to respond to them, BUT- I do read em, every last one of em-

[sainadazai]

When your crush is angry all the time

Ch.5

"I don't think fire's all that bad, you know"

3rd person pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°

As the sun hung high in the sky the h/t haired girl stumbled around the train station in search of a restroom. Y/n had never experienced the mundane tasks a commoner would usually persue on a daily. Things like public transit, or any transit for that matter, were an enigma to her.

So while elder men stared a little too long and young children pointed at her in recognition, she spun in circles like a lost puppy.

"Its just a fucking bathroom, should there be someone here to direct people or something! Ugh and whats with the school girl fetish, these old guy are creeps..." she mumbled to herself continuing to get more and more lost on the platform.

Meanwhile, the rest of 1-A were making their way to internships as well, Midoriya scrolled into some old guys house, Kirishima bumped into his metal replica, and Bakugou held his grump posture and nonchilauntly entered the top 3 heros agency. He was expecting to at least learn something from this guy, or gain real life experience with villains. He never anticipated being scrutinized for his personality. No shit I'm scary, Im trying to kill shitty villains not make teenage girls put a picture of me on their wall.

For the first day of this new challenged everbody seemed to be having a ridiculously mundane time. Not y/n, though. No our main character was going through it, once she made it to the restroom, she got confused by how easily the toilet paper ripped in her hand and spent 20 minutes trying to get at least one whole time out of the stubborn roll. Then, when she opened up her bag to view the new hero-suot her mother helped design...she found strings¿

She ended up having to look at an example picture and read a guide on how to put what where. It took an additional hour considering the tightness of everpiece of fabric and when she stepped out of the stall to look in the mirror, she deadpanned. How could her mother hate her this much? It was already a burden being so sexy, but this? This was crazy.

She wasnt sure weather she should take a million photos, or never leave the bathroom and cry all day. However when her phone rang, a call from Mr.Woods agency, she realized how late she already must be.

In her rush, y/n also forgot about the creeps men and was recieving many stares, that went unnoticed. Until somebody had the audacity to touch her. It was just a ghost of his finger tips on the underneath of her ass that was no doubt on full display. That would not go accepted, as a girl who had turned her past trauma into nothing but a small personality traits, she wasnt scared. Still, as a woman who absolutely idolizes herself, or so she says, no one in this train station deserved the touch of her perfect, shiny, s/c skin.

The last error that secured her terrible first day was how y/n spun around and grabbed the mans fingertips. When she took a glance at him, he was smiling as if he had acomplished something. Boy was he wrong, only coming to realized so when the y/h girl suddenly had sprouted a vine from his finger.

He watched in fear as it began to grow and wrap around him, all the while the young girl he'd never met before let out a sickening aura that couldve suffocate him then and there. The vine continued to curl up around his middle and ring finger, slowly meeting the flash of his palm.

Once the growing stopped, y/n had almost decided to let him go. A part of her new that her plan wasn't well thought through, and he could be an innocent guy that accidentally touched her.

However, aggression outwayed logic and she looked him deep in the eye.

"You like using these fingers to touch things your not supposed to?"

"N-n-"

"Shhh, dont worry, im just gonna make sure you dont go touching things that arnt yours, okay?" She made an aggresive fist with the hand not touching him and the vine squeezed in. Anyone a foot away would be able to tell, but the both of them could hear how his two fingers snapped and bent under the pressure.

With a satisfied grin at the whispering man, y/n decided he had learned his lesson. Wow look at that, and I didnt even need some manly hero to come save me. Atta girl y/n.

Little did she know that not only did her pro-hero boss come to look for her, but je also saw the whole disaster. He was not pleased to say the least.

Y/n pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°

As the tree like man sat down in his office chair across from me, all I could do was look to my feet. I didnt feel particularily had about my actions, however, I did feel bad about being late.

While it is fun to be spontanious and act like theres nothing to lose, I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to control the earth aspect of my quirk. Ill never admit it if someone asks, but sometimes the only way I can sleep at night is knowing how strong my quirk is. Knowing that they cant hurt me if I stay strong.

Still, it just seems that as I grow older, the people trying to get to be get bolder and more powerful. Some might even say...they get smarter, too. Thats a scary thought; that if I want to stay alive at all I need to be constantly improving. I am not sure if I want to stay alive or not, but Ill be damned if dying or living isnt my choice.

Feeling the need to break the silence, I began my rant on all the reasons I had come up with that justify my actions. I was planning it on the way out here.

"Look, im sorry mr.woods. I know im not very heroic and shit, but when perverts to pervert things somebody has to do something, and its not like anybody else there would have scared a glance if I didnt save myself-"

"Your wrong."

"Huh- I wasnt done. Anyways i-"

"L/n you are wrong."

"Dude im trying to-"

"There was heroes on patrol, how else did you think i found you? There were real heroes ready to protect you, if you had simply shouted people would have been alarmed of such. I dont understand kids and their need to do everything alone." He rolled his eyes behind his mask and continued to stare at me.

"Excuse me but I dont think your in a place to comment on how I react to myself being touched. He was gonna get my skin dirty and for what, two seconds of his school girl fantasy. Ew."

"Your skin....dirty?"

"Yes, he is nowhere near my standards on someone who should be allowed to touch me...not even a brush of the fingers..ugh!"

"Alright well, I cant get you in trouble because then I get in trouble...so, tell me about your quirk while we go on patrol."

His chair sqeaked against the floor as he stood up and it slid back. Then he motioned for me to follow by painting out the door.

Relieved that I didn't have to talk about all the fake reasons people aren't allowed to touch me, and that I could finally get outside so my quirk would stop suffocating me, I was quick to exit the building.

I'm not sure if its the fact that ive only been using a forth of her, but my quirks side effects have been so shitty recently. To the point that our school nurse estimsted my new rate for being inside for an extended period of time was about three hours.

I havent actually combusted in years, but I've been close and god does it hurt. My chest starts to squeeze and I can feel all the energy drain from my body, then pieces of me start to get hold and cold at the same time.

"So what really is your quirk?"

I looked up at the hero next to me as we continued on down the street of the inner City.

"How much did Aizawa tell you?"

"I-he said...she has all the right elements? And told me I'd figure it out.." He scratched the back of his head.

I smirked at that. Who knew aizawa actually listened to the words I said. I was pretty sure after the whole sulking chrollos dick thing, he would have permanently tuned me out.

"Heh, that raggedy ann bastard" I smile smugly.

"So, what does it mean?"

"Ahh, okay so, did you go to U.A?"

"Um yes kid, why?"

Then im certain je knows of my family, explaining my quirk will be easier. God, this really is my favorite part.

I reached my left hand out, knowing he was right handedly and would respond well to it and then spoke.

"Hi, nice to meet you, im y/n l/n of the elementus royal quirk family."

Once he shook my hand I did a polite curtsey, as I learned in ballet to do that instead of bowing. Its much more fun to do this at family event, where I get to wear big dresses and pretend im important...but this'll have to do.

"The-i-oh shit..." He mumbled the last part in defeat, likely just figuring out what he'd gotten himself in to.

"So, im guessing you've got ...."

"Total control, yup" I confirmed.

"And you wanna focus on earth elements, like what flowers?"

I smirk up at him allowing my aura to put an intimidating facade.

"Actually I was thing more like venus fly traps" as I said traps I let my hands clap together mimicking the plant and bit at the air with my teeth.

He stopped walking and just glanced from side to side, waiting for me to start making sense again.

Until we heard some crying in the distance.

The two of our heads shot over and were met with a strange sight. There were three young boys, looked about 8¿ and a man, hero maybe? Crouched in front of them not looking all that nice. He had spike blonde hair, red eyes, gauntlets on his wris-

"Oh my god its bakugou, look sir! Thats the hot guy I switched schools for!"

"Wha-"

"BAKUGOUUUU!! HEYYY!"

his head slowly shifted from the kids to me and it seemed to only make him more angry. Then, once again I couldn't help but bask in the pure aggression...in his eyes.

They were red, fitting for the anger thry held, but it was beautiful. It was passionate, the way he could yell for hours about god knows what because he cares. He may care about petty things, or silly things, but he always cares so much. So passionately. That I can see it in his eyes.

"Oh my, whAt is this costume deary?"best jeanist spoke from ahead of us as we approach.

"Hi sir, sorry about the skin showing, my quirk is heavily enhanced the more my pours are exposed to the natural elements, especially oxygen. If I was more covered parts of my body would begin to go completely numb. Also doesnt my body look amazing! Im a lot more in shape since you saved me last"

I blamed happily at jeanist. Though we arent neceserilly close, he is definitely a great hero and has always been someone who easily sees through my façaude. Plus his fashion sense is wonderful and I often send him pictures of my outfits. Although he doesnt respond I know he sees them and if they were bad he would be mean about it instead of ignoring it.

"Well. It definitely gives your body..access to that. And the sword?"

Ahh...the sword that I liked to carry. It was now stored in its place on my back.

"Call it a good luck charm, plus, we cant rely only on our quirks, then we are just weak people with strong powers. Rather than strong people."

I was always one to put on a show for him, as I do for lost of pro heroes. Its a lot more fun to say things like your all serious and fancy and smart sometimes. Its my little inside joke with myself, like to laugh at how easily people are awed by it.

Like how even though children were still crying bakgou was staring at me face void of emotion, completely struck at my words.

Definitely not..staring at my body that was exposed. Not eyeing the tight strap that wraps my left leg, that he doesnt know is a funcional lasso.

Noticing him, im quick to avert my attention.

"Hey bakugou~"

"Tch you really went from shitty princess to slutty princess huh?"

"You really went from telling deku you'd be number one hero, to making kids cry on the street, huh?" I challenged

I heard the crying boys laugh a little, just the age reminded me of my brother, Im sure they have nothing in common, but I havent seen any of my brothers in quite some time so I suppose a small part of me was just projecting.

I hated that they were crying, though. Ussually I dont like kids, they are stinky and gross and the main reason people have been ruining my life up til now. However, noticing these three reacting to bakugou in a way I wish emotionally available enough for, it made me feel obligated to help them. Wierd, huh.

"Hey, did that guy use his fire all scary?"

"Yeah, he was gonna kill us"

"Fires scary."

I giggled a bit, I knew fire like the back of my hand. It was the first thing I mastered as a child and the way I see bakugou use it doesnt to the element justice.

"Hm, well, I dont think so...can I show you something?"

The kid in the middle, apparently the braver of them, lifted his gaze from the concrete to meet my eyes. Just as I crouched down to my knees in front of them he nodded up at me.

I smiled at this, proud that I earned his trust for...some odd reason.

My hands formed a cup shape in front of him and I focused my ears so I could hear the blood rushing through my own brain, like waves. This was how I learned to use elements singularly: by using my internally noise to block out everything else.

I first allowed a small line of fire to dance around, now bigger than a candle wick. Then through another, and another as the boy watched carefully. Not yet impressed his face was still caustious. However I continued focusing my energy, feeling my body, the air around me, the heat of the sun, even remember the passion from bakugous crimson eyes.

I as I did so the many small flames twirled and twisted within eachother forming into a beautiful blue and orange fluctuating flower.

The boy looked into my hands mouth now agape, tears dried, fear gone. Then, again, for some reasons unbeknownst to me... I felt a sense of pride.

He tapped his friends so they would look up and I continued making my fire into different things, birds, planes, people. The kids were entranced.

I looked back to see the two pros staring at me with a certain level of pride mixer with shock. While bakugou seemed at a loss for words. God knows why this time?

"I don't think fire is all that bad you know..."

"Pft, yeah, I know kid," with that I threw my little flames above their heads and let the sparks fall down of them like shiny glitter. Then, overwhelmed with this horrible feeling in my chest. I retreatdd to my boss for the weak. Was that..happiness? Ew.

[sunnybimbo]

get to know the author

got tagged by mfin @grassepi like 10 days ago to do this!!!!!! /dab/

long ass post under the cut

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

i explain this so often man its a trip. ‘jam’ came from simlish in the sims 3 because of that one voice line that’s like ‘jambabedo?’. i had changed my name to that on skype but when i was VCing with @namerine she could only see ‘jam’ and it kinda just stuck. speaking of: the ‘dingus’ part also came from her so literally this name is all because of her and i love her *fingerguns*

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).

by FAR my most popular fic is my collection of sickfics: In Sickness and Health

the only thing that it got beat in was comments from Close to the Heart, but that’s mostly just because it had so many mfin chapters

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

b a b y y o s h i

i literally cant remember how i found this picture or why i chose it as my icon but its my Brand now. yoshi jamthedingus is me

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

i literally have so many. there’s @space-peachx, @bears-again, @narwhalsarefalling, @ravenssama, and @miishiiwrites (for some reason it wasnt letting me tag ur main asldhasd) plus a SHIT ton of anon commentors who i love just as dearly!!! i have a lot more but these are the most common commenters and i love them sm i could literally die.

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

there are like three fics like that and ofc im gonna list them all

hands down the fic i’ve reread the MOST in the shortest period of time is Sunset in Reverse by @demenior (who i cannot tag for some reason but i hope they know that i love their fic dearly)

there’s this i n c r e d i b l e sickfic by @bosstoaster that i just adore called Drown Out Your Mind that just breaks my heart all types of ways

and there’s this OTHER fic that also fucks me up called strength of the small by @nowweareunstoppable in which pidge is bad ass and also gets fucked up and i literally rec it to all my friends i love it so much

(also a special shoutout to been @velkynkarma‘s Whisper in the Dark. whenever i have the need for a good creepin’ out i LOVE to revisit this one because like... just the description of the Final Boss (tm) alone is enough to give me the willies)

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

oof

i have 449 bookmarks from like atleast 10 different fandoms, and about 411 fics i’m subscribed to, give or take a couple because Math. most of them are completed though, but i don’t go through and take them off because i’m a lazy hoe 

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

well i just looked up my ao3 and it says i have the most in ‘Alternate Universe - Video Game World’ asjdhsaldhsja aka my mmo au. but technically i think the au i write the most is Modern bc i’m but a simple farmer with a limited mindscape

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

i have 22 user subscriptions vs 199 work subscriptions + 383 bookmarks in total. nice nice nice

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

probably something with a more serious tone (compared to the fluffy wuffy fics i write) like, for example, fatphobia, suicide, and literally just conflict in general. i always feel like im trivializing all of it no matter how hard i try so i just... Give Up because i dont want the backlash ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

i really want to get better at writing conflicts, as stated above lajhdlsadhls. but also i want to be better at planning out stories because i usually give up near the 3/4ths point of literally every multi-chaptered thing i’ve written

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

definitely rarepairs. voltron is like the biggest fandom i’ve ever been in and my biggest ships are all hunk ships, and all of those are rarepairs OTL

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

35!

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

ignoring the fics i’ve completed and posted on ao3, i have about 52. including the above equals 87!!! m a t h

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

i try to write them down but if i write down the thingy i really want to focus on in the fic then i won’t want to write it anymore because it’s out of my head. OTL its a complicated process.

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

literally never in my life. 

16. How did you discover AO3?

definitely tumblr. i was in the dragon age fandom and there was this fic called The Little Kadan which had fem!inquisitor/iron bull + a baby so like i was all over that asap. i’m too shy to tag the author but u can find them on tumblr at sickly-writes ,,,,,,

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

nah not at all. i’m pretty Niche

(i.e. if you love shunk and/or heith + cuddling, i’m your gal. but anything else is pretty rare OTL)

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

not in the SLIGHTEST. i call them all babes in my head bc i love them tho

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

i don’t know this @fenri personally but i love their writing so much. i admire their style a WHOLE TON and i think i may have sort of modeled my own after theirs? 

like i’m just thinking about it now but it’s definitely after i reread their fic (*ahem ahem* Like Crystal Guts) for about the fifth time that i started my whole ‘prose-y’ writing, which is very very recent aldjhsal

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

be confident in ur writing! if someone says they don’t like it, your work just isnt for them. just because one single person doesn’t like it doesn’t mean its bad!

r e r e a d what you wrote! i use fromtexttospeech.com to catch like... sentence structure/grammatical errors when my eyes are too tired and i find it helps a lot!

if you find a story you like, try figuring out w h y you like it so much. characterization? the way they describe things? because they use sentence structure you haven’t seen before? and then use that new knowledge to try to make your own writing style your favorite *fingerguns* 

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

i only started plotting fics since last november, which was when i participated in my first nanowrimo. i don’t plot for every single story, but if i’m lost or i want to expand a little, i slap down a bunch of ideas in an empty google doc and go from there! 

generally by then i’ve already written atleast a little bit, though.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

i can’t even remember what it says exactly now since i deleted the fic after, but someone said my characterization was bad in a super old inuyasha fic. little like... 12 year old me was so sad ;w; 

i don’t think i’ve ever gotten a bad comment after that, though? which is NICE

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

DEFINITELY any action scene. i can’t make them long or drawn out or else i’ll just be struggling and sweating and generally craving death. i think i just need practice but o o o o f

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

i have a few hot n spicy prompts i need to finish that i probably won’t get to until next year salhdjsa

plus a few christmas presents! 

and also my pirate au, Wander, which only has maybe 2 chapters left before its complete!

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

*sweats loudly*

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

not in the slightest. generally, if i’m in a writing sprint or something, i’ll try to get over a 1000 for whatever it is, but that’s for the total and not for the session. 

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

definitely! even though i’m still shy, im a lot more open to constructive criticism (if it doesn’t come after my soul ;w;). I’m also getting better at being more descriptive, which is something i’ve always wanted! 

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

i have two. don’t make me choose

the first is technically cheating because it’s part of a series, and the series is my favorite BUT I DIGRESS. The Witch and the Mage (which is... one of my less imaginative names) is an MMO AU in which shiro and hunk are in love and also i have a vague plot outlined somewhere in my drive that’s pretty wild if i do say so myself. i may never write it but its there and its my favorite and i love the imagery i used in it.

the SECOND is a heith cuddle fic, because that’s basically my brand as a writer. it’s called home and i wrote it when i was very tired and couldn’t get to sleep. i may have been craving human contact? who knows in this economy. even though i see a number of things i wish i could fix about it, it’s just very self-indulgent in more than one way and its very dear to my heart. 

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

most of the fics i wrote earlier on are pretty bad imo, but i think the ones i hate the most are part of my You Are Beautiful series. it’s grossly out of character (mostly in keith’s case) but it was the first thing i’d written in about four years and i was so proud of it. so it has to stay up for posterity, tbh.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

i really hope to still be writing by then. maybe with my own personal book in its planning stages atleast???  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) gotta be optimistic!!

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

dialogue? also describing rooms. i love just... randomly popping out something that describes the placement of a couch in relation to a door. 

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

i always always always get distracted when i’m trying to write. if i’m in the zone, someone in my family is definitely gonna try to get my attention. it’s sort of become habit for me to just interrupt myself first so that i won’t lose whatever train of thought i had LMAO

33. Why do you write?

i like the way my words sound when i string them together in the right (write... *badum ts*) way. it makes me Feel Good (tm). 

also i love giving characters (that mean something to me) attention, because it’s like i’m giving MYSELF attention. a two-for-one!

Tagging:

@sleepyhunk, @narwhalsarefalling, @space-peachx, @sammythemattressthief, @bears-again, @kurosakiami01, @maternalcube, @ace-pidge, @darlingmuses

+  if anyone i tagged earlier would like to, i would literally be honored if you would do this! but no pressure, ever <3

[lunar-pantheon]

TAG MEME COMPILATION

OK so like basically i’m absolute fucking shit at responding to mentions specifically tag memes so i decided to put a few all into one post and i know some of these were from last fucking year but liste n. i’m slow about this kind of thing ok better late than never right ok so

Tagged by: @pansexual-snake

Rules: Answer the questions and Tag 10 Blogs you’d like to know better

Sign: Virgo

Last Thing Googled?: writing topics generator- i had to write a poem for class and didn’t know what to write about lmao

Last TV Show Watched: Grimm or Steven Universe

When Did I Create My Blog?: may 2014!

Do I Have Any Other Blogs?: oh buddy i have many™

Do I Get Asks Regularly?: not lately, but i would love to be sent more!

Why Did I Choose My Url?:because im gay as fuck and love su

Gender: demiboy? boy? nb? its a mystery my guy

Pokémon Team: Team Mystic

Favorite Colors: the rainbow bc im ga y

Average Hours of Sleep: like 5/6

Favorite Characters: oh buddy there are too many just take a single look at my blog youll see

Dream Job: theater technician/lighting designer or animator

TAGGED BY @sucker-for-contrast

RULES: Tell your followers 11 random facts about yourself, and tag 11 people in return! Tag backs are allowed, but you mustn’t repeat any of the facts you mentioned previously!

uh ok so fun fact, ive had pneumonia 4 times bc i was a stressed child with immune system and lung problems -jazz hands-

i realized i was gay as shit in 6th/7th grade

i realized i was trans as shit like last year

my favorite animal is the mantis shrimp

once i was at my grandmas house and like. she had just cleaned one of her sliding glass doors right? and my brother. my fuckenign brother. he zipped his little ass through her house and just fuckign. SLAMMED into the door. it looked like it was straight out of a cartoon i swear to god i couldnt stop laughing

im a straight A (for the most part) student with an absolutely crippling fear of failure and a huge procrastination problem so thats fun

every time i have to go to the bathroom in my tech class my teacher insists that i say something awesome about myself and i never know what to say so i just say some stupid shit that isnt really even that awesome

i basically live in my schools auditorium at this point

i seem like a pretty open person but im actually really closed off and very few people know all that much about me so -jazz hands part two-

i talk a lot (im p sure to an annoying extent but w/e)

idk i like animated movies a lot

thank you for tagging me friendo!!

Tagged by @jjcka

Rules: Answer these questions and tag 9 people you want to know better

Relationship status: dating @father-son-and-the-holy-jarvis <3

Lipstick or chapstick: Chapstick bc i hate having dry lips but also occasionally like. bright red lipstick bc i look badass in it

Top 3 shows: su, gravity falls, and atla are like my all time favs, grimm is a current fav bc im watching it rn and its pretty good

Top 3 characters: oooooh buddy idk uh. fuck buddy all of em??

Last song I listened to: right now im listening to trapdoor by twenty one pilots bc im an edgy piece of shit

TAGGED BY @thebiggestdoggoenthusiast

rules: tag people you want to get to know better

how old are you: 15

current job/dream job: theater tech/lighting designer or animator!!

what are you talented at: shit idk like. im an ok artist? and i enjoy tech theater but idk if im all that great at it. i guess i can sing some songs p well and write decently?? maybe?? im not good at this kind of thing lmao

what is a big goal you are working towards (or have already achieved): uhhh becoming a better artist/technician and improving my mental state probably

what’s your aesthetic: forests and sunsets/sunrises!

do you collect anything: i like collecting art prints when i can buy them! one of my walls is covered in them!

what’s a topic you’re always up to talk about: tech, shows im into, lgbt shit

what’s a pet peeve of yours: ohh when people assume that they know everything about me and my mental state bc of the very few and limited things ive told them and try to explain to me how a certain thing feels/try to tell me that i couldnt possibly experience it like that gets me so fuckin PISSED you dont even know

good advice to give: i guess like. dont bite off more than you can chew in school and shit? you dont have to work yourself to absolute exhaustion in order to do well/feel accomplished. it’s ok to take a break. if you’re working yourself to the point that if the series of events youve planned in your head goes even slightly wrong you’ll fall apart, you’re pushing yourself too hard.

recommend three songs:

cellophane- sia

before you start your day- twenty one pilots

medicine- daughter

bonus songs because i like a lot of songs ok:

river- bishop briggs

the dream- cirque du soleil paramour (i just saw this show not too long ago and i just love the chords and feel of this song tbh)

bird set free- sia

thank you guys so much for tagging me in stuff!! 

ok so like. im shit at tagging people so like? if you see this and go like “ooo boi i wanna do THAT one” you go buddy live ur dreams and do it and you can do any/all of these do whatever you want but like. i dont think im gonna do a formal tagging of specific people for this one? just show me if yall end up doing one!