#im just genuinely so shocked by how fully different i feel now in a way i nevee ever anticipated
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myfavdeatheater · 2 months ago
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Sweater Weather
one shot after the great war Draco appolzies to Hermione and give her a sweater when she's cold
It was a chilly october night and Draco had found himself in the library studying for class. it was after the great war so everyone was learly about him even though he quit the death eaters and helped harry defet the dark lord he wasnt sure if he would return the same as all the others but if he wanted to restore his image running away wasnt the way to do it so he back a shadow had passed by him he looked up and he froze it was hermione Granger he hadnt seen her truely since that night in malfoy manner sure they were there for the second great war but she was too busy being the hero she looked different she sat down about 5 chairs down and pull out a text book about charms he noticed her arm the jagged pink lines peeking out from her sleeve made him sick to his stomach the night flashes in his mind bellatrix pinning her down and cutting the slur he used to call her all the time into her arm her scream he can still hear echoing he wanted to step in and stop his aunt from hurting his class mate but he didnt and he hated himself for it since that night he has never said the word mudblood since he decided then and there that he would appolizge to her or atleast try to he dosent expect much he picked up his belongings and his quidditch sweater he quit playing but still kept it and moved to sit next to her when he pulled out the chair her head snaped up and met his gaze her eyes widden in shock and little in fear he didnt blame her but she stayed quit as he sat down not being the first person to speak they sat in silence for five minutes while draco put his words together 
“Hello hermione” he said softly she looked at him and replied 
“ Hello Draco.” she said clipped clear distaste in her tone “ how are you? How have you been?”
She rolled her eyes “ you mean after you helped the dark lord almost kill everyone at hogwarts” she paused “ but myself ive been fine” she tugged down her shirt sleeve more draco sighed “ granger i wanted to appolize for everything ive done to you and otherwise” Hermione put her quill down and turn to look at him and when she did her breath got caught in her throat draco was always handsome but he was a deatheater and he was the bad guy and as a ‘hero’ she couldnt be seen entertaining someone like him but that was before everything happened and she was byherself at hogwarts because harry and ron decided not to return so she was all by herself and the loneliness is starting to get to her she looked at him pointedly “ okay so applozie and you have a small list” that made draco smirk a bit because that was exactly something she would say “ well for starters im sorry i didnt stop my aunt for doing what she did to your arm i wanted to stop her but i would have been killed myself and i was scared i made a lot of choices i regret daily but that one plays in my head alot and i just i feel so awful and if theres anything i can do please let me know” her eyes were blurry with tears shes been trying to forget that night in the manor she had nightmare for weeks afterwards she shes getting over it now and when draco mentioned her arm she unconsciously looked a this and his dark mark he noticed and added “ im not  a death eater anymore after my father was put into azkaban and i was on house arrest it gave me a lot of time to think and didnt want my life to end up like my fathers and i quit unfortunately im stuck with the mark forever” she shrugs “ im sorry your stuck with it and i appreciate the apology and i understand why you didnt do anything i mean its not right..at all but i understand. Just be the good guy from now on and it will take a while to fully forgive and trust you because you did so much damage draco.. But with time i think i can find myself forgiving you” she give him her kind smile he smiled back at her a genuine smile in a really long time just then a breeze came through the library and Hermione shivered she tried to play it off but draco noticed “ are you cold Granger?” “ no draco i'm fine thank you” as a another shiver coursed through her body draco pulled his sweater out from behind the chair and handed it to her “ no draco i can take your quidditch sweater..i mean what would people think” he shook his head “ granger you cant let people make decisions for you,come on just for today i'll take it back tomorrow if you'd like just take it your cold” she sighed and took the sweater and put it on and she couldn't help but immediately smell his cologne and it was warm and soft she was distracted by the cozyness of the sweater she didn't notice draco standing up she look at him “ see you later granger” and he winked at her and walked away her cheeks were tinted pink the rest of her studying went on without anymore excitement i mean she got some looks for wearing draco's sweater but she expected it later that day in her dorm a owl came by her window and gave her a letter she look at it and it was from D. Malfoy her heart rate went up she was still wearing the quidditch sweater she just can't seem to take it off she open the letter and it read 
Keep the sweater Granger you look better in it than i ever did  and don't ever let anyone judge you for wearing it.
D. Malfoy
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ankhisms · 2 years ago
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disclaimer im fine i just need to try and word various feelings and such pay no mind to the io who is trying to hold faer mental health together
i think the older i get and the more i desperately try to get better or at least be as healthy as i can reasonably expect to be with my various physical and mental issues the more it becomes clear to me... just how much a life time of being abused has altered my brain and tainted how i view myself. and i was obviously aware of this to a certain extent i am often painfully reminded of how much being abused and traumatized over and over throughout my life from a very young age has shaped me and how there are some things i may never fully heal from but will instead carry with me and have to live with. but recently its been jarring for me to like. be faced with it in a different way? where the environment in this theater production im in currently is actually overall very positive! i still often feel awkward where everyone is already good friends and knows one another from past productions but at the same time everyone is nice and friendly and no one is being nasty or weird to me like in the production i was in last year.
and our director and assistant director and the rest of the crew are really really sweet and encouraging and skilled people, i feel really thankful to be working with our director especially shes such a good actor along with being a good director and i value her input on things. which is why it makes it jarring to be given compliments by her and the other crew members and to be told that im a good actor and that im doing a good job. im so used to abuse from authority figures and so used to being told that im a worthless piece of shit etc etc that it comes as a shock when an authority figure in my life is actually kind to me.
and its been like. ive been having to step back and like. re examine just how badly i view myself. i have zero self esteem and zero confidence in myself, i speak very cruelly to myself and generally see myself as being a failure and other things like that, all of this is because ive been told that im a failure and disgusting ugly worthless stupid etc etc from both authority figures, my peers in school, my abuser, and my father throughout my entire life so ive internalized that and its almost impossible for me to break from thinking of myself in anything but that kind of light. but now ive been having to go. ok. i really respect this person who is telling me that im genuinely good at something. i want to believe them. i want to be good at what im doing. so this challenges the view of myself that ive been told is true for my entire life. i keep just going wait so am i not disgusting good for nothing ugly stupid worthless cant do anything right failure etc etc? and it shouldnt be so shocking that the things my abuser and the other people who have hurt and traumatized me have told me are wrong, but ive lived for so long thinking that all these things theyve said to me or said about me must be true. so again its really jarring to just be like. maybe all the awful things ive been told about myself were just very cruel people being cruel to me and not necessarily true.
but also at the same time i certainly dont think that those things being not true somehow makes me ~special~ i really dont think its possible for me to view myself as special or anything like that bc my view of myself is so low and negative and also bc i always want to be remembering other people and valuing everyone else yknow but its like. weird and strange for me to be realizing that maybe i dont suck as much as ive always been told and always believe. and maybe im not some horrible disgusting monster destined to be alone and abused forever, maybe im just a person. maybe im just a person who has been hurt a lot
but i also have to grapple with the fact that it is both true that 1. maybe im not inherently bad and maybe not everyone hates my guts and thinks im awful. but also 2. i am mentally and physically disabled as well as lgbt and there are a lot of times where people do in fact go out of their way to be cruel to me because of this and there will continue to be people who are cruel to me because of being disabled and being lgbt. these things can both be true
and alright i promise that im almost done rambling but one last thing i wish that all these years of abuse and torment and harrassment had somehow hardened me and to an extent i am kind of unphased by certain things but its more like i just fucking dissociate but anyway instead of abuse and trauma making me tough i just am so sensitive and always feel like im such a crybaby. i think i do a good job of not like making that other peoples problem i always try to suck it up but i always feel like i just am never able to grow thicker skin when it comes to very specific things that remind me of being abused. like i said our director is such a good director shes so sweet and kind and she did NOT at all say this in a mean way or mean to upset me. but last night she used me as an example where she said "im really a stickler about us saying the lines the exact way the playwright wrote them. rey i dont mean to single you out or bully you or anything like that, youre doing great, but youve been adding a 'but' to that line, lets cut out the but ok?" and again she is such a good director. she said this very kindly and i always appreciate her feedback and instruction. but feeling like im being singled out in front of people is such a big trigger for me and reminds me so much of past trauma and school abuse especially and it took every ounce of self control i had to not start crying and i just felt so humiliated about that. like why am i so sensitive. i know its because ive been abused my whole life but whats wrong with me. nothing bad happened and yet i felt like i wanted to die
anyway thanks if you read all this i prommy im fine im just feeling a lot of different things lately
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psalmicwitch · 2 months ago
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hi , thank a lot for the free reading I love how genuine your posts sound nothing delusional everything real.
I bumped into a stranger's chest in 2022 and I know he is attracted to me the same way im as I always him looking at me whenever we unexpectedly meet on street or anywhere I don't know his name neither we talked with each other. but from our recent meeting I found something strange I was feeling tingles in my body since I saw him that to twice a day, even he was shocked to see me and I know he aint my long term committed partner. everyone person is in your life for somethings. seeing someone everyday and feeling different sensation in your body is different
so what this connection is for in my life what is it here to teach me or what ? why I have been feeling this way so attracted to him, I can't even stop thinking about him. just wants to talk to him ?
what his first impression was and thoughts about me ?
what's his current thoughts and feelings about me ?
thank you, 3 three question as you said
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1. What is this connection here to teach me? (5 of Wands, upright)
The 5 of Wands upright suggests that this connection in your life is meant to teach you about handling conflict, competition, and possibly even inner turmoil. It’s here to show you how to assert yourself and navigate differences with others. The 5 of Wands often indicates tension or competition, but not in a destructive way—it’s a learning process. This connection could be pushing you to grow through challenges, helping you develop stronger communication skills or even showing you how to find harmony in the midst of chaos. It’s less about smooth sailing and more about learning to rise to the occasion when things get tough.
2. What was his first impression and thoughts about me? (3 of Wands, reversed)
The 3 of Wands reversed suggests his first impression of you may have been more hesitant or uncertain than you might expect. He may have felt unsure about where things would go or whether there was potential for long-term connection. The reversed 3 of Wands points to a feeling of blocked vision or a lack of readiness—he might have seen you as someone intriguing, but he wasn’t fully prepared to explore what could develop between you. It doesn’t mean his impression was negative, but it seems like he may have been holding back or had doubts about taking things further right away.
3. What are his current thoughts and feelings about me? (10 of Pentacles, reversed)
The 10 of Pentacles reversed suggests that right now, his thoughts and feelings about you might be clouded by a sense of instability or uncertainty about the future. He could be worried about whether this connection can provide long-term stability, or perhaps he’s not sure if it aligns with the bigger picture of what he wants for his life. The reversed 10 of Pentacles also hints at some disconnection—whether that’s in terms of emotional fulfillment or practical issues, there may be something missing in how he envisions things working out between you two. He might care for you but be unsure how to build a lasting foundation together at the moment.
Here's my physical cards, for referance! If you need any further insight or information, feel free to reach out!
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Lastly, if this has been helpful or insightful to you, please consider donating to the ALS Asocciation.
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m1ckeyb3rry · 3 months ago
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LMAOO tumblr really said f u…but glad it worked out either way but I seriously need to find a better system for remembering if I actually sent something in or not….hmm….
Anyways hope your flight was nice!! And omg NOO the migraine :(( hope it goes away soon! I wish I had some tips or remedies but I honestly can’t remember anything that was super effective…..
Karasu serving as usual!! No because the Karasu nagi content from epinagi lately is fire like thank you for saving us in the drought that is the PxG match!!
First rin now ISAGI I saw your post and oh my god I was kinda shocked but then again I think we’ve mentioned this possible scenario at some point before so maybe it was just a matter of time….bro atp you’re gonna be providing more content for Kiyora than kaneshiro is you might as well just adopt him as your oc LMAOOO (I think your blog really just has manifestation powers atp let’s just face it)
I’m genuinely laughing my ass off (needed to write it all out for emphasis) at the “karasu anon requests (any)” LMFAOOOOOO but PAUSEEE SINGING READER KARASU??? That sounds very interesting!!!!! WAIT A DAMN MINUTE CHERRY TREE PT 2??? Sign me tf up part one slapped so hard
Also wait riding lesson right when you got back from vacation WITH jet lag AND a migraine??? You’re truly built different I can’t even wake up at a decent time after traveling between time zones ok but Karasu bfb was a JOURNEY LMAOO I’m also never getting over that wc it’s insane
Shidou would go wild for Karasu’s sus comments LMAO adding Otoya to the mix would be so chaotic HAHAHA also someone needs to save yuki asap fr
LMAOOO Karasu truly the only thing holding PxG together esp since Loki probably does not care about the dynamics of the team beyond winning and Charles’ growth
Lukewarm is honestly the perfect word for it…but wait ok speaking did you see the chapter….because wtf….im ngl i still haven’t caught up fully with whatever happened after the yuta gojo freaky Friday but what just came out was wild
SHSHS thats actually so annoying….hopefully it gets resolved soon! Im not super well versed in the topic but have you looked into it being something like vertigo? Or is it till more likely the side effects thing? Either way hope that and your migraine goes away soon and doesn’t come back!!
Anyways I’m gonna go read your latest post and try not to convert to kaiserism (I probably won’t but it should prove for some more uhhhh clearheaded commentary (??) than if I was fully invested in the character too and not just your writing LOL)
- Karasu anon
FR like it all linked up and that’s what matters in the end 🤩 hm ik for me personally when i’ve finished smth and i have it in my notes app i put a little green checkmark emoji next to it?? so maybe once you’ve sent an ask in you could put a green check on the note or smth 🤔
icl the flight was kinda crazy my brother and i were judging the pilot HEAVILY because the landing was kinda bad 😭 we’ve both been flying since we were like 6 months old so we’re very used to planes and whatnot LMAOO we can even tell what went wrong…as soon as the guy started landing we were texting each other like “omg he didn’t descend enough in the air now he has to take the landing too high and he’s going to hit the runway too hard 🙄” “negative aura for the pilot fr” (second text was obviously my brother FJDKDJS he is nothing but a teenage boy through and through)
HAHAHA PLSSS no because i’ve always considered isagi boring because where is the angst potential?? but then i realized that he (and yukimiya who kinda falls into the same boat) are very very yuta okkotsu coded 😳 so like where the angst with characters such as karasu and nagi is the fact that the feelings are there but never quite acknowledged/understood in time, the angst with isagi and yuki and characters like that is that no matter how hard you cling to someone and love them there’s sometimes extenuating circumstances that just tear you apart and there’s nothing you can do abt it (ex all of the dying and whatnot that happened in pomegranate ink…like for the majority of the story reader and yuta are in a relationship but they just can’t be together because of the bs going on in their world) 😰 they’re definitely characters that work better in an au though because in a modern setting they are just too healthy and normal…okay also i’m realizing that me being bored by personality types that i’m supposedly most compatible with might have smth to do with why i’ve never been in a relationship irl 😓 JFKSKS
nah because watch me write a beautiful layered complex kiyora and then all of a sudden my little fun facts abt him appear in the manga or a possible ln 🤨 going to be raising some eyebrows and asking which of my followers is secretly kaneshiro at that point LMAOAOA
HAHA i’m probably going to give your idea posts special tags and then that way i can go back and reference them when i’m in dry spells!! but for now i’ll probably do one of the ideas from each post just so i can clear my inbox LMAOAO i’m going to have to go through and see which characters i’m feeling when i get to them 🤩 and yes the request is for a reader who’s good at singing but shy abt it!! it’s probably going to be on the shorter side (like the isagi ones) but yk my track record with saying that 😭 ALSO YOU HEARD RIGHT CHERRY TREE PT 2!! it’s going to take place when rin goes and finds the reader again after the world cup like he says he will 🥹 so much more of a time skip than instrument pt2 🫣 but i’m excited to write it!! rn i’m working on the nagi req because he’s #bae but cherry tree pt2 might be next 😳 trying to take a break from karasu so i don’t feel like i’m writing the same thing over and over LMAOAAO i’ve written quite a lot for him recently (aka bfb) so i’m switching it up and writing for other characters for a bit 🤩 i have not abandoned karasu nation though trust i will return just taking a second to do my duties to the rest of the fandom 🙏🏻
LMAOOO i’m always on my grind 😩 i missed the pony i ride so i had to go back fr 🙏🏻 tbh it was a struggle getting there but my lesson was pretty good so it all worked out in the end!!
THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING like shidou and karasu are actually two peas in a pod it’s insane to me that no one else has picked up on their duo potential 😟 i need them to be besties and a trio with otoya would be insane JFKSDJSJ yukimiya needs friends fr 😭 like poor guy doesn’t even have a canonical bestie in bllk…i’m trying to think of people without a set “duo” that he could be paired up with 🤔 like kunigami has chigiri, isagi has bachira + rin + barou, reo has nagi, and most of the other characters feel like they’re too young to be super close with him (like hiori and all)…maybe gagamaru?? actually that would be crazy because apparently gagamaru thinks one of his strengths is his good eyesight and we all know what’s going on with yukimiya’s eyes 😓 i can’t think of anyone else who’s definitely staying in the manga that doesn’t already have a bff though 😟
yes i did see the new chapter!! honestly idk how i feel abt it…i think it was just done weirdly 🤔 like a lot of people are defending the situation and saying it makes sense/is supposed to be a shock factor thing and while i can definitely see the appeal of that it still doesn’t feel cohesive to me?? like okay she’s back in the last five chapters it just doesn’t sit well for ME considering how important she’s supposed to be 😕 i’m sure people will say i have no reading comprehension or media literacy or wtvr for thinking that but maybe i’m also just sensitive because she’s a female character so i think it’s annoying she was dead for most of the story and then suddenly she’s relevant again randomly?? like to me that is not how you should develop a character especially when you already are on such thin ice with writing women 😰 also again i can see the shock factor aspect but in my opinion an author should not be out to surprise their readers just to say “gotcha 😏” yk?? like if nobara was going to come back it should’ve been done in a way that felt more natural than her just randomly springing up LMAOAOA i’m not saying she should or shouldn’t have shown up earlier in the FIGHT just that it didn’t feel as exciting to me as it could’ve because it didn’t feel earned or deserved 😬 but this is top ten opinions i’ll never share in the public because the jjk fandom WILL jump on me and say i can’t read and blah blah blah 🙄 listen like i said idm her coming back it’s just the execution was off to me!! but also maybe i’d be more hype if i was still super into jjk like i used to be 😔 truly atp i’m just reading to keep up with it and know what happens…maybe one day in the future i’ll go back and binge read the whole manga at once and maybe it’ll feel much more cohesive then!! but we’ll see
sadly i have no clue what it could be 😓💔 but fingers crossed it resolves itself soon 😩 and EEK not kaiserism…i had a brief dip into it because he’s just very easy to write about in literally any au but he’s not a character i can stay passionate abt for very long LMAOAOA like he’s not rlly one of my favs even though i don’t mind him that much
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queenlokibeth · 4 years ago
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I wanted to mention a couple of things about mental health that I think are important.
I'm doing relatively well at the moment. I've managed to go to bed before 2am most days, usually at midnight, and I've gotten 6-7 hours of sleep every night. I've eaten at least 2 full proper meals at reasonable times every day. I haven't turned in any homework late. I have to consciously fight off executive dysfunction but I do manage to win. I'm doing relatively well, which is how I notice just how badly I was doing just a month and a half ago.
What I want to say is that, when you're going through a rough mental health patch (especially if that patch is like a year or more) you might be aware that "sure, yeah, I'm not doing well" but it can also sort of feel like that's just... the way it is.
In December I consciously knew that I was having an awful time, quite probably the deepest hole in terms of mental health in my life, but I had also already been living like that for almost a year, and I transitioned into this hole more or less slowly. So last December I knew that I wasn't feeling or behaving the way that I did a year before that, but it wasn't a drastic change, I eased into that pit. Think about that metaphor about dropping a frog into boiling water and it will jump out, but slowly boil it and it won't notice and die.
I was conscious about the big things: for some reason I physically couldn't get myself to start tasks. I was distracted all the time. My sleeping schedule was something like 4am-10am when I wasn't pulling an all-nighter. I was showering once a week, did laundry every 6 weeks, and lost a lot of weight. I didn't want to do anything and I had no will to go outside. I wanted to read a book but not out of real pursuit of fun, but because I felt like I desperstely needed to catch a break and force myself to do something nice for myself. What I was obviously not conscious of was what was causing all of this.
Being in a pit of terrible mental health feels somehow even worse when you are fully aware that you're completely unhealthy, and you can pinpoint all the things that aren't working right, and you try to do all the correct things to "go back to normal", but you can't, and after a year you don't really remembers what your normal feelings or reactions to things were. In this awful state I was trying to manifest a version of myself who got her shit together and showered regularly and turned homework in on time and did laundry without it taking the same effort as hiking up a mountain, but this version of myself still had the same mental state, numbness, and mental fog, since that's all I knew at the time and I couldn't remember or understand that that's not my default state as a human being. And under that cloud of malfunctioning mental connections and chemicals I was NEVER going to manage to start functioning like a healthy person again.
Why am I pointing out all of this? Because it can be hard to realise how different things can be when you start getting healthier. There are factors of my personality that I hadn't even identified as altered in December.
I'm noticing this now because I did somehow transitioned into recovering extremely quickly. While it took me a few months to fall into a shit state of mental health, and then stayed there for like a year, now in about 3 weeks to a month I flipped my life around and everything is so much... brighter.
I don't mean for this to sound like an ad a la "you can, too, flip your life around!" But as reassurance that getting better is an option, and even a "quick" one, but obviously not without help, and not without PHYSICAL aspecrs. During that month I spent time in warmer weather, seeing sun semi regularly (I had not been outside for longer than 15 minutes at a time every few days in extremely cloudy weather for a few months at that point), I didn't have school so I didn't have to stress about a destroying amount of deadlines, I "recovered" sleep (the first day I slept for 14 hours, then 10 for a few days, and then dropped to 8 consistently), I ate healthy and hearty food, and I had conversations daily with my parents, after having been completely alone for about 7 months of not talking to anyone. During the first 2 weeks I still felt like a mess, the third week was better, and by the end of the month I felt vaguely functional.
By now I'm in no way fully better but Everything Is So Different. Now I'm realising and coming back to the way I always used to behave and feel about things. I find real joy in things and I hadn't even noticed that for a year I had NOT felt joy about ANYTHING I was merely using things to cope! And I hadn't noticed because I could no longer remember that a different feeling beyond "neutral" existed!
I'm excited about going outside now even if it's so so cold, I realised the other day that I needed something from the store and I just... put on my coat and went to the door? And i surprised myself mid step that it was just... that easy. I wanted to go somewhere and I could just... go. I didn't have to psych myself up for 3 days and then end up delaying my departure by 2 hours because that's how long it took me to find the will to put my shoes on.
Anyways I saw a candle and it was only $2 and it smelled really good and I just bought it because I deserve things that make me happy and then I bought some cinnamon flavoured coffee because I WANTED to try it and I also bought this coffee creamer that I saw because suddenly it was easy to just reach into the grocery store fridge and pull it out instead of planning it a week in advance and then overthinking it because do I really need it do I have space in the fridge am I going to finish it or will it expire first only to get overwhelmed and leave the store without it only to immediately regret it and get sad about not getting it once I arrived back to my room. I enjoy drinking my coffee now, I'm not just doing it to stay awake. I can actually get out of bed at the right time even if I'm still a bit tired because the sun is coming up and it looks pretty outside. It snowed yesterday and everyone was out at night playing with it and a stray snowball reached me while I was on my way to get dinner. This poor guy that I'd never seen apologised profusely and it was so funny! There was something about everyone in masks and standing 6 feet apart taking advantage of snowball fights as a way to interact with each other that felt straight out of a Hallmark movie.
Bottomline: at your worst there isn't anything that looks tangibly better, but there is, and you start to realise it afterwards. While you should definitely go to therapy if you can/need to, and that meds can be necessary, there is so much that you can start slowly fixing (with a lot of effort, I know) that will seriously, seeiously help. I know that it might sound like bullshit or like an oversimplification, but it's true and it's stuff that you'll never truly believe will work until you're doing better and you're like "oh shit damn".
Please sleep. Please sleep at night time and have a semi regular sleeping schedule. I know that it sounds like it won't be enough (and true, by itself it probably won't heal you completely but it will sure help a lot). I would always "understand" that sleep was important and "yes mom i know that I need to sleep better" but I never interiorised how DRAMATICALLY sleep affects your entire life. Regular, good, nighttime sleep helps regulate all the hormones and chemicals that we need. If your fucked up sleeping schedule shut down production of serotonin, congratulations now you have all the awful symptoms that come along with lacking an essential component of your functioning. And I know that it's often a terrible vicious cycle of not being able to sleep properly or procrastinating sleep or being unable to just go to bed causing mental health problems which continue to prevent you from being able to fix youe sleep pattern. Please take it from me, someone who a month ago felt like she'd genuinely never be able to function semi properly again, that forcing yourself to fix your sleep is a HUGE MEGA STEP towards fully recovering. I know it now because I can see the contrast, but a month ago I didn't understand it because I was like "well yeah I need to sleep better but what's the point I'm fine it won't change much" yeah well my brain is an asshole and I was not in fact fine but rather completely empty inside and just going the fuck to sleep semi regularly has made me feel like a real person instead of a weird cryptid for the first time in months. Just go the fuck to sleep, PLEASE.
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prettybard · 2 years ago
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So I’ve watched a ton of reactions to ofmd (indulging the ones mentioned in your post) because I was really curious to see how people responded to a show like this and I’ve observed some THINGS
• People generally don’t like/aren’t sold by ep 1 (crazy to me since it’s one of my faves and I was hooked instantly but it). Even people that liked it don’t seem to get the tone just from one ep.
• People always end up having a favorite crew member. Very fun to see who they end up gravitating towards
• Most people believe Black Pete’s stories at first/think they will be proven right later
•Most people don’t pay attention to Jim’s pronouns unless they are already aware that they are nb/are told by commenter that they are nb
• A lot of the little jokes and clever moments and line deliveries kinda go over a lot of peoples heads
• Queer people love Stede, straight people have to warm up to him
• Most people credit Taika for this show/most straight people heard about it because of his connection to it
• I’ve only seen one person previously unfamiliar with the foot touch in ep 8 notice it
• Everyone loves Lucius
• Hardly anyone notices how romantic the moonlight scene in ep 5 is (and of course the ones who pick up on it are the gays)
• This show reads much better for gay people. Like of course, but it’s interesting to actually watch the differences in reaction to a lot of moments. I mostly like to watch people who aren’t familiar with the show at all and I like to keep the mix of people (straight, queer, poc, white etc.) diverse so that I can see how people with different backgrounds respond. Queer people 100% of the time are feeling those themes and narratives.
• Everyone always loses their shit when Karl dies
• No one ever talks about how fun Geraldo is and that’s wild to me. Loved his character so much.
• End of ep 3/ep 4 is what usually hooks people
• Most people, including the straights, actually do see the kiss coming but there are a few who are still shocked
• People want to fuck Blackbeard and Jim but what else is new
• A surprising amount of people “predict” that Ed isn’t going to kill Stede because they’re going to end up friends. Like…..yeah. He’s the main character. Idk. They kinda set that up for you.
• A lot of Ed’s vulnerable moments go overlooked
• Most people can’t believe Ed leaves the dock and freak the hell out when he goes back to being Blackbeard. Very fun reactions to those things.
• Not many people point out Izzy’s attraction to Blackbeard
All this information may be completely useless but it’s really fun to observe how people respond to this show. OFMD is UNDOUBTEDLY a show for the gays but I love that by the end most straight people also highly praise and recommend the show.
omg anon i love you and im gonna try to respond to most of the points bc im v happy i got this message.
it genuinely made me so sad when ppl weren't that into the first episode, its so perfect and very easily shows the found family shit thats about to happen.
ik a lot of new people dont know about jims pronouns but by fucking god does it make me uncomfortable when ppl immediately use she/her pronouns for them,, but im glad that ppl start using it when commenters tell them abt jim.
OMG YEAH SO MANY LITTLE JOKES GO OVER PPLS HEADS AND IM JUST SCREAMING AT MY SCREEN TELLING THEM TO APPRECIATE IT ASKFJS,,, the scene where stedes like "no this is it,, thats it." THE FUCJING LINE DELIVERY ON THAT IS PERFECT BUT LIKE NO ONE MENTIONED IT
stede is for the gays,, only we can fully understand that little fucker
no bc it made me so mad that not many people credited david jenkins properly,, like its his show?!?!?!
everyone should love lucius,, hes perfect in every way
GOD I WOULD GET SO SAD WHEN MOST PPL JUST SKIMMED BY THE MOONLIGHT SCENE,, AND I DON'T THINK ILL EVER FORGET "nice , theyre friends now" HUH?!??!??!?!
i think alot of straight people just dont care, like most of the youtubers ive seen react to the show, mostly just care about the comedy and if its entertaining. it kinda shocking to me seeing ppl just act normally about the show and not completely dissect it and every single theme they can find
ahhh omg yeah idk how ppl can look at the bathtub scene with ed and just go "aww thats sad" and just dismiss it?!?! that scene changed my brain chemistry and ruined me,, ed vulnerable moments were my favorite and i really wanted more people to talk about that
oh man i feel like i can go on a whole ass rant about ed becoming the kraken,, like people say it doesn't make sense but if you just think about it for 2 fucking seconds you can see that it v much makes complete sense to his character,, hes just trying to protect himself
i like pointing out izzy's atrraction for blackbeard bc its fucking hilarious how pathetic he is for a man that barely even cared abt him and doesn't even exist (hes in love with the idea of blackbeard and but not ed)
anyways this was incredibly fun to respond to, anon!! pls send me more shit if you want <33
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izusun · 3 years ago
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Goblin anon here absolutely screeching over feral quirkless Midoriya, it's everything I wanted
I would like to also introduce a brand (my brand) of feral to Midoriya: pyromaniac.
Imagine Midoriya getting through the entrance exam by saving people, but also by bringing makeshift Molotov cocktails and wrecking almost as much shop as Bakugou.
Imagine the battle trials where Bakugou tries to blow up the building because "that's the only way to keep this little shit down" and in response Midoriya dodges and then sets the building on fire.
Imagine the USJ incident, which goes about the same, but his first instinct is to set the Noumu on fire. Yes he does so. He also nearly sets the stadium on fire at the sports festival so much that they had to evacuate sections of the stadium.
Midoriya (say it with me now) sets Stain on fire. When Tsukauchi meets with the murder trio after the Hosu incident, he just sighs and is like "Midoriya, really?" And this is when we learn that Midoriya has a history of coming across random villains and setting them on fire. When Inko arrives to pick him up she's just like "You're grounded."
There's theories about what Midoriya's quirk, everything from increased intelligence to extremely shitty luck to the ability to make anything he touches explodes (due to his inane ability to make a bomb/lighter out of the most insane things). When it comes out that he's quirkless, it just makes everyone even more afraid, as Midoriya can make a bomb out of some LSD and a rubber duck quirkless-
Pyromaniac quirkless Midoriya.
- Goblin anon
GOBLIN ANON IT’S BEEN AGES IM SORRY IM JUST RESPONDING NOW (ive been so bad at responding asks my god i struggle but thank u for ur au dumps, i love loVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!)
IM IN LOVE WITH THIS AU
feral quirkless gremlin midoriya going through shit by setting things on fire is just the way to go im duwldjwksk
i read midoriya with molotov cocktails and i have not stopped simping for and thinking about this midoriya
genuinely swooning at this ver of him
midoriya probably has a collection of lighters and basically does those hand tricks to calm him down or to take his mind off of things
bakugou and midoriya being more familiar with each other in their middle school days compared to canon and bakugou gifting midoriya with personalized all might lighter god that’s adorable
ok but they’re talking about their favourite heroes and bakugou goes, “shocking that you don’t like endeavour.”
and midoriya just shrugs, twisting his hand and fingers to orchestrate the fire’s dance from his lighter, his viridian eyes brighter and says, “his fire feels wrong.” and they leave it at that
midoriya being inspired by bakugou’s explosions and attempting to copy those so bad that bakugou thought midoriya’s trying out for support classes
OK BUT FIGHT WITH SLUDGE VILLAIN?
he yanks out makeshift molotov cocktails from his bag, lights them up and throws them at the bastard. the sludge villain screams and retreats slightly because not only was he facing the fires but also the exploded glass shards. it gave enough time for bakugou to explode the villain and escape enough to allow him to breathe. in the end, all might still defeats the sludge but he misses bakugou and midoriya who escaped. no ofa for firey green bean.
bakugou helping midoriya create more explosions.
“but kacchba i want fire, not explosions!”
“same difference you pyro asshole!”
midoriya learns them anyways and enjoys it.
THE EXAM!!
i have two ways:
one: midoriya appealed to the staff that he needed support items and they allowed him and they watched in shock as this little boy explodes the arena worse than the explosion-quirked student. of course he passes and aizawa took him on as his student.
two: midoriya appealed to the staff that he needed his support items but the staff did NOT allow him because they’re considered weapons (as if quirks are not genetic weapons but i DIGRESS) and so when the exam starts, he stays at the very back of the other examinees. this was so that when he arrives at the scene, there are already spare parts for him to scavenge so that he can build makeshift explosions (foregoing whatever shit he learned from katsuki because all that’s on his mind right now are molotov cocktails)
so that’s what happens. he scavenges parts and hides inside one of the buildings so that he can focus more on making explosions and be less worried about being attacked. when he was fully geared, he steps out and begins to retaliate.
he works fast as to not waste his time and the makeshift explosions. because of this, others (ahem-aoyama-ahem) had no opportunity to steal his score.
same thing happens: uraraka gets caught and midoriya explodes the zero pointer. this time, however, the robot is utterly destroyed.
aizawa and majima saw midoriya’s performance, adored it, and began fighting for midoriya.
“majima, he’s here for the hero classes.”
“great. now give him to me.”
nezu pretends that he’s not planning on splitting midoriya’s schedule anyways.
BATTLE TRIAL OH MY GOD rip all might i bet you keeled over so bad, you were one second from turning to small might there and then.
all might: ok so one explodey kid to look out for. that’s not bad.
all might, one minute later: this green kid looks familiar…
all might, ten minutes later: what the fuck.
NO BECAUSE bakugou and midoriya being excited to explode things (well, more like midoriya’s excited and bakugou just wants to fight midoriya) and having a blast when fighting each other.
1a’s probably thinking “oh no” followed by “they’re hot” (literally too because yk the building’s on fire.)
MIDORIYA EXPLODING THE NOUMU??? king shit
midoriya saw this monster running to aizawa and he just points a more eloquent looking flame thrower (thank u mei for working with midoriya with that) at this beast and sets it on fire.
it effectively slowed the noumu and gave the others an opportunity to pull aizawa from the hit zone. it also granted all might more freedom when fighting the noumu because it was slowed enough that all might didn’t have to worry about exceeding his time limit.
the fire damaged some of its nerve processes that the scientist and afo had not accounted for. of course this review is returned to them and many of the noumus become fireproof because of this incident.
OK BUT DURING THE SPORTS FEST
midoriya crushing on todoroki because fire.
he was actually very interested in todoroki prior to sports fest but something about todoroki’s fight against sero sparked something more in midoriya. midoriya saw the anger from his ice, now he wants to see the same intensity from his fire.
his spiel of “that’s your power, todoroki” goes differently. todoroki still pulls him aside and trauma dumps on him but this time he goes, without missing a beat, “that fire is a waste on you.”
todoroki full body pauses because that’s not something he’s ever, well, considered to hear after trauma dumping.
“what?” he croaks, confused at the bubbling feeling. it’s a miasma of anger and hurt, but to a scale so unfamiliar.
midoriya shrugs. “fire is unique, more so as an elemental quirk. you think it doesn’t make half of you—well, i mean you’re right. it doesn’t. you make it. you control it. fire is often uncontrollable and yet here you are, having it as your power. it’s yours to control, so control it. use it.”
todoroki’s ears are ringing.
“you have it as your power.”
“so control it.”
and so he did.
midoriya watched todoki’s fire; watched the way the flames lick up up up and leaves no air bathed in heat. midoriya sees the rawness of anger and determination and thinks, “this is how fire should always look like.”
unconsciously he also thinks how todoroki’s fire is far more beautiful than endeavour’s.
midoriya loses and he’s not as sad about it. losing to something sentient (fire, not todoroki), for him, is a blessing.
todoroki advances along with bakugou.
bakugou who is jealous of todoroki because he saw how midoriya eyed todoroki’s fire and knew todoroki’s a competition in other more ways.
bakugou wins again, this time less angry because todoroki used his fire against him.
STAIN THINKING MIDORIYA’S JUST THIS WEIRD HERO STUDENT WHO HAS NO SPECIFIC QUIRK UNTIL HE FEELS FLAME KISS HIS SKIN AND SCREAMS BECAUSE DAMN IT GREEN EYED KID JUST SET HIM ON FIRE
todoroki full on pausing because he thought he’s the one who set stain on fire unconsciously only to follow the fire’s trail and sees it’s from one of midoriya��s many support items.
“shoot i didn’t mean to burn him that fast!”
“that’s your issue!?”
midoriya gives them a “duh?” look and todoroki feels himself warming up (HAH another fire pun) at midoriya’s ease.
flying noumi still comes and picks him up but midoriya also sets this thing on fire. the difference between a winged noumu and a normal noumu is that the wings are far more flammable and midoriya had quite a bit of fun at setting it on fire and hearing the crackling of flames on rubbery wings.
endeavour casts him a glance that speaks of approval and midoriya doesn’t know if he hates it or not.
tsukauchi arrives and sees not only stain, but the noumu and heaves up a very big sigh. “midoriya, really?”
GOBLIN! PYROMANIAC QUIRKLESS MIDORIYA IZUKU IS A FAVE IM SCREAMING
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thewritetofreespeech · 4 years ago
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im down bad for the obey me brothers... idk if you write straight up nsfw, but if you do could i maybe get mc asking the brothers to finger her until she cums 👉🏻👈🏻 i saw someone ask this on another blog and ive been obsessed with this idea ever since. thank you in advance!
Just made it under the wire for Sexual Sunday!!!
Obey Me Boys + Naughty MC Headcanons (NSFW)
Lucifer
Startled initially, but delighted with your boldness
“You need only ask, my dear one.”
Would have you sit on his lap in his study where you asked him
No one is going to bother you in there because no one, besides you, would dare enter on their own
Once you’re settled he’d pull one glove off his hand with his teeth
His other hand is currently wrapped around your waist
Despite being gloved all the time, his touch is cool on your outer thigh
It slowly moved up your leg and under your uniform skirt
Moving to your inner thigh only when it was under the thin pleaded material
He’d gently urge your legs open, and start to stroke you
On the outside of your panties at first. Feeling them get moist
Then, when you were whimpering on his kneed, he’d slip his fingers past your panties and inside you
His touch is decisive and firm
Well practiced, he has you cumming in seconds or hours
Depends on his mood that day
Does not need you to reciprocate. He’ll get his eventually. Right now is about you
Mammon
Shocked, at first, but quickly tries to recover and act cool
“Ha. Of course you would come to The Great Mammon, and your first man, to take care of you doll.”
Would take you to his room; and be immediately embarrassed at the state it’s in
He wasn’t expecting company
He lays you down on the bed, nestled in his expensive Egyptian cotton sheets, and starts with a soft kiss.
He’d groan audibly when he pulled up your RAD skirt to see you wearing the designer underwear he bought you
Just for him
He’d keep them on and slip his hand down you panties
His touch is shy, at first
He wants to make sure he’s doing it right, what you like
When he starts to hear you moan and feel you buck up into his hand, he gets more confident
Mammon can’t keep his mouth shut to save his life. So it’s no different in bed
Whispers a lot of “you like that baby?”, “does that feel good?”, “you look so hot baby.” in your ear
When you do cum he feels very proud of himself
He’ll lay next to you and kiss you softly
Will ask you to return the favor cause he’s super hard now
Levi
Immediate panic attack
“W-W-Whaaaattt??!”
Doesn’t believe you, at first. Why would you want a gross otaku like him to do....that to you??
Once you convince him that you’re telling him the truth, then you have to convince him to actually do it
He’s red as a tomato
You’d have to go to your room because Levi can’t do it in front of his figurines
He doesn’t want them to see him being all ecchi
Tries to undress you, but his hands shake too much
You’ll have to take your panties, and whatever else, off yourself
Once you’ve reached the point of no return, he’ll screw his courage to the sticking place and go for it
You’re his precious Hime-sama. He’d do anything for you
Despite his nerves, he’s really good at this
All those hours of gaming have given his fingers incredibly dexterity
No one is more surprised than you when he has you cumming so face
Still super shocked that he did this with you, but also a little proud of himself
Wouldn’t dream of asking you to do anything for him. He’d die of embarrassment if he had to ask
Satan
Surprised to say the least, but attempts to remain calm
“Well if....that’s what you want....”
Would take you back to his room for privacy
Would need to clear off his bed of the dozen or so books on it, but would set you down carefully on the comforter
He’s a little nervous
He’s usually not a sexually person (like some idiots he could name)
But something about you lights a fire in him
It’s strange to be burning up inside with something other than anger
His touch is deliberate and sound
You’ve asked him to make you cum. And cum you shall.
He doesn’t pussy-foot around and gets right to the task of fondling you
His fingers stroking your clit. Jutting in and out of you rhythmically
He won’t admit how much it turns him on to hear you say his name, but he’ll ask you to say it again
Calls you his ‘little kitten’ when he asks if you’re going to come
When you do his chest swells with pride. Let’s see those idiots do that to you
Would be interested in reciprocation, but won’t ask for it. If you offer, he’d be willing. A gentleman doesn’t do favors for reward though.
Asmo
Delighted beyond measure
“Ah~! My sweet [Y/N]! How naughty!”
Asmo, of course, is the most eager to please you
You coming to him openly for pleasure is a rare treat
One he’s going to take advantage of
He’d take you to his room and lay you on his bed like the princess you are
Takes his time getting you out of your RAD uniform
He doesn’t want your clothes wrinkled. Plus he wants to see all of you.
Will kiss and tease any patch of skin he can get his hands on
As he said, this is a rare treat. He’s going to take advantage of it
His touch on your apex is as teasing as his kisses
They are infuriatingly light. But he knows what he’s doing
Asmo is obviously the most experienced
So he knows how to give his partner mind shattering orgasms
Will tease and taught and tempt you until your body bows off the bed and you’re practically gushing around his fingers
Would want you to reciprocate, or let him fuck you. Let’s both feel good together.
Beel
Turns about as red as his hair when you ask him.
"S-Sure. If you want.”
Would want to go it in your room. He doesn’t want Belphie to walk in on you two
Nervous
He’s not the most experienced out of the bunch
Until now, he’s only ever thought about eating, or working out, or his brothers
Not until you
Would let you lay yourself on the bed and cover over to you
He’s scared about crushing you
His touch is a bit clunky
His hands are big and rough, and he doesn’t know what to do with them
But, he’s earnest
He genuinely wants to make you feel good so he tries his hardest
Asks a lot of questions like “am I going this right?”, “does this feel good?”, “is this ok?” to make sure he’s doing it right
When you cum, he licks his fingers. Fascinated with what you taste like. You’re his new favorite flavor
Doesn’t ask you to reciprocate. Too embarrassed to ask. Just wants to hold you. That makes him feel good.
Belphie
Slow, sleepy blink followed by slow, sleepy grin
“Eeeeh...[Y/N]-chan. You’re a pervert.”
Would take you up to his attic room so you can be alone
There’s a sky light with stars that’s really romantic
He wants you to see stars before you see stars
Nuzzles you in bed to breath in your scent
He loves the way you smell
Takes off your uniform top and panties, but leaves your bra and skirt on
He likes your skirt. And you look sluttier half naked than fully naked
Will get right down to business on you
Touching you roughly to pull an orgasm out of you
But he doesn’t stop there
He’ll pull another. Then another. Until once where you were begging him to make you cum now you’re begging him to stop.
He thinks your whimpers, teetering between pleasure & pain, are so adorable
So is your puffy, swollen cunt
Won’t ask you to reciprocate. He’s already got off on your weak, gentle crying. Will hold you and snuggle you for the rest of the night.
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shlutnutt · 3 years ago
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- Degrading Desires -
warnings: lots of smut, slight angst, sadism, degrading kink, subby colin (the only right way), dom reader, masturbation
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psst! look i know all i write is colin and kai and i apologize, i just really needed to get this fic idea i had in mind for colin lmfao. i'll definitely have more varieties up in no time:) // not fully proof read
Apart from being one of the few women to be working for the police investigating department, you made sure you were considered one of the strongest, independent, and courageous of them all. Whether that'd mean you'd always have to cancel plans to keep your full focus on the current investigations, or even distancing yourself from friends and family.
"Here, it clearly looks like a sniper rifle bullet, was definitely shot from afar. Fucking asshole seemed to have planned this perfectly." you made your claim public to the other detectives in the room, passing around the bloody bullet which was secured in a ziplock bag.
"Yup, thats a modular sniper rifle. This was a perfect planned murder, due to how much accuracy is needed to shoot one of these bad boys. " shouted Colin whilst inspecting the bullet in between his rough hands, completely taking away the attention you had held onto you, aggrivating you immensely.
Colin would do this ever so often, always finding a way to snatch away the minimum attention you'd have gathered up, completely becoming the spotlight. You felt as if he had just so much hatred towards you, like he couldn't resist the fact that you were in fact solving more cases in a week than what he could've in a month. His body language although, spoke differently than his actions.
The detectives cheered Colin on, patting him on his wide back, all just so amazed by how easily he solved the puzzle of what specific type of sniper it was, –when you was literally already getting to the point–. Not one of them credited you for shit, not even the women who claimed to be so sick and tired of the misogynistic behavior that's been going around the department. They were certainly the ones cheering him on the loudest.
You only stood there silently staring down at the pieces of evidence that layed infront of you, the dim lighting that took over the small office room making you disappear almost entirely now. Erasing the fact that your only goal was to help these poor victims rest in peace, allowing their families to have complete closure of every each and tragic murder as Zable in the other hand, was focused on stealing your spotlight, just to feel superior and laugh it off in your face later on.
As the detectives all went to their correspondent offices, you and Colin were the only ones left in the room, as he decided to linger around noticing how you'd stay in to investigate through your lunch break. You feeling nothing but envy and him admiring how difficult he was making your job.
"Good job, buddy." blurted Colin as he walked a step closer towards you, a playful hop almost. His dark brown eyes looking down to your Y/E/C ones, as he fidgeted with his large fingers above the evidence table.
"Look Y/N, Im s-
"You're what Colin? Sorry? Why do you enjoy making my life so fucking miserable? Im fucking tired of it, im trying to genuinely help these families." you spat, looking deeply into his soul, noticing how his eyes began to water.
"You're gonna fucking cry now? Good. You deserve to feel like shit." you continued. Colin only looked down at his fidgety hands before taking a seat on the table, and munching on some leftover salad he had left from his lunch break, allowing his shiny eyes to shed their tears.
"It doesn't feel good to feel like shit does it, you needy whore? You just need attention and validation so fucking bad, why can't you just let me do my job in peace." your usage of language taking the both of you by surprise, pausing quickly after noticing Colin struggling to eat his salad with his left hand, when the man was a righty.
"Colin.. what the fuck are you doi-" you attempt to ask the obvious before getting unpredictabley interrupted by a loud whimper. You bent down slightly, letting curiousity taking the best of you to encounter Colin massaging his bulge through his pants.
"You're a fucking pathetic." you continue to degrade, unintentionally causing the member in his pants to leak in precum, dampening his boxers.
"Stop.. p-please stop." pleaded Colin as he massaged his enlarging buldge under the table, still unaware of you're awarness at his self pleasing.
"Why should I stop Colin? You deserve nothing." you proceed, enjoying the effects your words had on him, his teary eyes looking up at yours whilst you walked around the office.
Despite the fact you truly disliked the man you were currently sharing an office with, you just couldn't deny the fact that you enjoyed making him feel this way. Like shit. I mean he looks like he's enjoying it as well. The way he struggled to chew on his salad whilst attempting to keep his cool infront of you, how his long sleeved shirt slightly attached to his body from his sweat, and how his dark decepting eyes shed tears after tears. It was an admirable view.
He enjoyed the suffering, and so did you.
"I-I need to go to the..bathroom.." said Colin, now getting up from his office chair attempting to leave the room in pure hurry, before you got in his way blocking the door entry making him jump slightly.
"Please don't do this.."
"Don't do what? You've fucked up my job experience for all these months Colin, i think you deserve to get punished. Don't you think?" you teased whilst slowly dragging him back to his seat by his veiny arm.
Zable, although being in complete shock by his show of uncontrollable needs was also taking aback from your actions towards him, feeling out of place by letting a woman dominate him. He only sat on his wheely chair, laying down almost, whilst his breathing was surprisingly heavy allowing small whimpers escape his lips. The man needed you, and urgently.
"If this is what you've wanted this whole time, why not jump straight to the point and be a good boy? Instead of making shit hard." you questioned Colin, before prepping your elbows on either side of the arm rests he layed betweeb, massaging his thighs delightfully, earning graceful low groans.
"W-why are you doing this..?" questioned Colin, his eyes barely being able to open due to the slight amount of pleasure he's been receiving. You completely dodged his question, your focus remaining on his clothed thighs.
"Y/N.." Colin called now, attempting to catch your attention once again, you shushing him almost immediately.
You honestly didn't bother to shift your attention towards what Colin was saying, well that was before you felt his pants dampen up under you, warm fuzzy liquids spreading all over him.
"You c-came on yourself?"
"No.."
"What's this then?" you questioned before unzipping his pants and shoving your hand in his briefs, gathering some of his cum in between your fingers and bringing it up to view. "You came on yourself from me simply touching your thighs Zable?" you affirm before he denied your claim. "I k-kinda like when you y-yell at.. me.. and call me names.." he admitted in between pants, not having the balls to look into your eyes as he spoke.
You only giggled at his lack of dominance underneath you, having fully cummed on himself when you barely even touched him and just called him pathetic little names.
"You're a fucking disappointment Colin, you know that right?"
"Y-yes I know.. Y/N.."
"You deserve nothing for being such a piece of shit."
"Y-.. more..please. more.."
You would've never thought the man who'd been bothering you for all those months to have such a hypersensitive degrading kink. It all adds up now, why he'd tense up to his boss yelling at him, why he loved annoying the shit out of you. Whole time he was waiting for you to snap at him, and well who would've known shit would've ended up his way.
Colin wanted nothing but for you to full on dominate him, for you to take control over every little bone in his body. He was willing to do anything you'd ask him to, he'd bow down and kiss your feet if you'd asked him to for god's sake. The thought of making him your literal sex puppet brough nothing but an internal flame into your core, producing an evil smirk to form on your lips onto the man you were just a few inches away from.
"god you're so beautiful when you're in pain." you announce before attaching your lips to his drooly ones, the two of you ravaging eachothers mouths immediately. Zable only melted under the kiss, slightly lifting his hand up towards your breasts, soon letting it drop onto his lap in cowardness.
"you can touch me." you break the kiss to give your consent, allowing his firmed hand grip onto your right breast as he exhilaratedtly sighed to the soft feeling. Colin gripped on you like his life depended on it, as you lifted your leg onto the left side of his thigh prepping yourself down into a straddle, him groaning to finally feeling some contact against his member.
Colin was a moaning mess already, your dripping clothed cunt aligned with his sensitve clothed tip was driving him over the edge as he grew impatient attaching his large hands onto your hips in attempt of grinding you onto him. Although you knew you had him wrapped around your finger you allowed him to grind up to you, his second releasing nearing rapidly.
"oh.. fuck.." groaned Colin as you two dry humped eachother for several minutes now, your purpose being making him suffer but letting yourself get into the pleasure also, as you animalisticly removed his dressing shirt, popping some buttons out along the way. You then manage to remove yours also whilst gripping onto his short sweaty hair.
"Is that all you can do? huh? not enough." you degrade, producing his rhythm to increase making you groan excitedly. Colin's one soft puppy but he'll for certain make sure you're needs are satisfied as well as his.
Didn't take long for you to moan along with him, feeling his bulge twitch under you, as he came yet again collapsing underneath you.
"Colin."
"..y-yes?"
"you're an amazing little slut."
taglist: @divineruler @thatspookyagent @copy-of-a-cheeto @booboomother @evanmybeloved @billyhxrgrove @sinnersblood @crssjjh
(dm to be in taglist !)
kinda wanna highkey make another part to this but we'll see how it goess
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lilysdaydreams · 4 years ago
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The Artist and The Musician
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→  I do not claim to know corpse- therefore please don’t think that this is what he would actually act like, or that any details about his life are actually true. this is fiction.
→ Pairing: Corpse Husband X Fem!Reader
→ Genre: Fluff.
→ Words: 5.6k
→ Request:  Hey! It’s me again lmao I was curious maybe like sykunno or raes little sister (like 2 or 3 years younger) meets the group and her and corpse just click. How would either of them react to them hearing the news that their little sis is dating corpse and like they’ve moved in together and everything idk I thought it’d be cute💛
→ Warnings: Swearing.
→ Authors Note: Its been a hard couple of weeks and im really sorry that this took so long to be done but depression rlly hit me and I could barely move myself. I hope you enjoy this, and if you do, please comment some words of encouragement or feedback 💛
→  if you have some spare change , consider buying me a coffee.
You sighed as you finally dropped the last box in your new room, stretching to get rid of the pains in your back. Grabbing your phone, you moved over to Sykkunos room, knocking before sticking your head in.
"You want subway?" you asked when he looked up from the computer. He nodded with a quick smile, and as you closed the door behind you, you could hear him talking to the stream, letting them know that it was just his sister. Quickly ordering on Ubereats, you slumped on the sofa, closing your eyes and resting for a bit.
You had decided to move in with Sykkuno a month ago, the same week you'd decided to drop out of college. It wasn't something your parents were happy with, but after seeing how big your art and business had gotten, they had let you drop out. You'd dropped out and moved to LA, moving into an apartment with Sykkuno since he had to leave the OTV house. Sykkuno had moved in a week earlier which was why his room and computer was all set up. You'd only moved in today, spending a few weeks at home with your parents before leaving for LA. Stretching, you grabbed your phone, checking how long it would be until the food came, and then clicking on Instagram. Your most recent post was of this morning, a photo of you sitting on top of half the boxes in your room, throwing a peace sign at the camera. Sykkuno had taken it for you, the whole process taking 10 minutes cuz you made him take it at 45 different angles. Scrolling through the comments, you liked a few, replying to the ones by your best friends.
@selinaissss: "HOW DARE YOU LOOK THIS PERFECT AT 8 IN THE MORNING????"
→ @junefarie: i look like a racoon dont u dare
@onlyalyssa: "we need a house tour"
→ @junefarie: bitch I dont even have a bed yet
You grabbed the subway order when the bell rang, saying a quick thank you to the delivery man. You left yours on the table, and went to Sykkunos room, yelling "Sykkuno catch!" before throwing it at him, giggling as he leapt forward from his chair to catch it. Closing the door softly behind you, you jumped onto the couch, sitting cross-legged, grabbing your sketchbook and pencils from your backpack and setting them on your lap. It was time to wind down a bit.
~
It was a week later and you had unpacked fully, now focusing more on creating new pieces of art for a shop update. You were also working on some designs specifically for shirts and hoodies. Sykkuno found you in front of your computer, blanket wrapped around you and glasses perched on your nose as you emailed the manufacturer you were working with for the hoodies.
"Un, y/n?" he said hesitantly knocking on the door. You spun around in your chair, raising your eyebrows at him. "What's up?"
He walked in, sitting down gingerly on the edge of the bed and you got your water from the table, taking a sip as you wait for him to talk.
"I um- You know how I- I play Among Us right?" he asked, scratching his neck.
You hummed in response, urging him on with a nod. Sykkuno was almost never this nervous around you. Most of the time, you guys talked normally, joking and teasing each other. For him to be stuttering around you, he must have been extremely nervous.
"Well, you know Rae right? She um, she asked me to make a lobby," he said, standing up and pacing now. You furrowed your brows, confused as to where this was going.
He was explaining what a lobby was (which what the fuck, you watched his streams, of course you knew what a lobby was, why was he explaining that) when you cut him off, getting up and grabbing his shoulders to stop him.
"Hey, what's wrong?" you asked, holding his shoulders with both your hands.
He sighed and slumped into you, his head coming to a rest on your shoulder.
"Rae asked me to make a lobby and it's the first time I've ever made one and I'm really nervous about it. I've already invited people, but um I was wondering if you wanted to join as well? I- It would help me to have you there." he muttered, the words muffled as he spoke into your shoulder.
"Me?" you asked, a little shocked because you had never played among us before.
He nodded against your shoulder.
"Um sure!" you said, wrapping your arms around his middle, "It'll be fun!"
"And hey," you added on when he didn't say anything after that, "I can meet all your friends as well!"
He finally lifted his head a little, smiling as he muttered out a quick "Thanks y/n."
"However," you added, jumping back onto your seat and wiggling your eyebrows at him. "You have to buy me pizza for tonight's dinner."
He chuckled, grabbing his phone and already mutterng the order to himself as he opened up the ubereats app and walked out of the room.
You turned back to the laptop humming a tune under your breath. From interactions like this, most people would probably assume that you were older but the truth was that Sykkuno was 5 years older than you. Your roles were reversed and you were probably more protective over him than anyone else. Once in high school a girl had called him cute and asked him for his number only to write it on the bathroom walls. After the first three prank calls, you'd taken the phone from him yelling at anyone who called that if they called again, that you'd personally track them down and shove a dildo up their ass.
Both of you had always been close, but with the amount of bullying and teasing he got in high school, you'd got even closer, eventually becoming his best friend in a way. Seeing Sykkuno grow as a person, get new friends who were genuinely nice and kind made you the happiest person alive. When Sykkuno had first started streaming you'd been worried, scared that people online would say something mean. When he had first started streaming with other streamers and then met Lily and all his other friends, you had been anxious, worrying that they might only be putting up a friendly facade. You were also the happiest though when he grew even closer to them, when he smiled more, laughed more, talked more.
You had yet to meet or talk to any of his friends, mostly because you'd been in college, and the pandemic had made it harder. Maybe it was finally time.
~
The day came and you sat in your room, once again a blanket wrapped around you, glasses perched on your nose as you accepted the discord invite Sykkuno sent you.
"DO I GO IN THE CHAT THINGY?" you yelled to Sykkuno, hearing a "YES" before clicking on the voice chat.
You mumbled a "hello", wondering if your mic was on.
"Hey, yeah I can hear you y/n."
Breathing a sigh of relief, you logged into the game, smiling as you heard sykkuno introduce you to his chat. "Hi everyone," you said, feeling a bit weird only talking to a screen. You rubbed your hands, a little nervous to be doing this.
Just then someone else joined and before you could even speak another three people joined as well, all of them yelling hello as they joined.
"He- Hey guys, how's everyone doing?" started sykkuno.
"Im doing great oh my god, guess what guys, I'm-" started Rae, cutting herself off. "wait, whos um "ms snores a lot"?
You were a bit confused for a second, furrowing you eyebrows for a second before realising what had happened.
"SYKKUNO YOU ASSHOLE WHAT THE FUCK?" you yelled, staring at the name underneath the voice channel that you now realised belonged to you. You could hear Sykkunos laughter from the other room but you just spluttered indignantly. He was the one who had set up everything on your computer yesterday because technology was something that you rarely messed around with.
"Sykkunooo" you whined, when he kept laughing, "How the fuck do I change it now?"
"Um wait, sykkuno who is this?" asked Rae, the other three echoing her. You glanced at the names and from the voices figured out that it was Rae, Toast, Sean and Corpse in the lobby.
"Hey okay, so guys this is my sister, her names y/n and we recently moved in together, so I asked her to be in the lobby because... um.." he said stuttering at the end to find a reason.
"Because he wanted to embarrass me apparently!" you exclaimed, giving him a way out.
"Oh god, um - you can change it in settings, at the bottom near where your name is."
"Ahhh," you said finding it and then simply typing in your art business name.
"Its nice to meet everyone by the way," you started. "I've been watching your videos for ages so it almost fels like I already know you"
Raes voice started in your ears and you winced at the volume befoe turning it down a bit.
"I would love to say that Sykkuno has told us a lot about you, but the truth is that he keeps a lot of secrets and I didnt even know he had a sister, I AM SO SHOCKED RIGHT NOW"
You gasped. "Sykkuno what the fuck, you didn't even tell Rae?"
"You told me not to tell a lot of people!" he protested.
You heard someone saying "they're so different!' but you ignored it and kept talking.
"Yeah at the start! and on stream! I can't believe you never even said you had a sister." you spluttered out, followed by another gasp.
"Are you embarrassed of me?" you whispered dramatically.
"N-What no of course not!" he exclaimed, and you could also imagine how wide his eyes would have gotten.
You giggled before telling him that you were only joking.
"Um since sykkuno is embarrassed of me," you said jokingly, "I'll just tell you myself."
"I'm like five years younger than sykkuno, I'm a June baby, I do art, my star sign is cancer, I'm 5'4, I recently moved in with sykkuno, and my favourite colour is purple!"
"Oh is that why your username is junefarie? Because you were born in June?" asked Sean.
Before you could say yes, someone else cut in.
"Wait, junefarie?" asked corpse, "like the artist?"
Your eyes widened as you realised that he knew you. Sure you had quite a few followers, but you never expected any of Sykkunos friends to know you from there.
"Um yeah," you said letting out a shocked laugh, "I didnt expect anyone here to know about me."
"Dude, your art is fire!" he exclaimed, voice louder now. "I was honestly thinking of buying a piece soon, I've followed you for ages!"
"Wait, I wanna see as well." whined Rae, "Ima look you up, are you on Instagram?"
"Um," you said still shocked by the fact that somone this big knew you. "yeah I'm on instagram, its just junefarie." you said first replying to Rae, "Um corpse, thankyou so much! thats so nice of yo!"
"Um my art isn't that great yet," you chuckled, embarrassed by all the attention now. "I'm hoping to improve a lot more and I have a bunch of ideas for it as well. I'm hoping to work more now that I moved in with Sy."
"Oh my god, this is amazing," whispered Rae, Toast and Sean echoing her. You ducked your head even though no one could see you. Your cheeks were blazing hot and you pressed your hands to them to cool yourself down.
"Thankyou," you mumbled, not sure what to say.
Someone else entered the lobby, and said "hi" and you welcomed the source of distraction.
"Hi! I'm Sykkunos sister, y/n!" you said , wanting to move away from the topic of your art.
The reply of "sykkuno has a SISTER?" made everyone laugh, successfully moving the attention to Sykkuno and off your art. Finally Sykkuno started the game and you breathed as you lost yourself in the art of gaming.
"OH MY GOD!" yelled Rae as the game ended and everyone appeared in the lobby. "That was like amazing, Y/N I cant belive you pulled that off!"
She was talking about the last game where there was 50/50 between corpse and Sykkuno (because you refused to kill sykkuno when you were imposter) and you somehow managed to convince Sykkuno that it was Corpse.
"Honestly, neither can I!" you exclaimed back staring at your screen, eyes blurring the screen because of how tired you were.
"I can't believe Sykkuno," mumbled corpse. "I literally said I saw her vent and kill toast and Sykkuno was still like "hmmm, I don't think so."
Giggling at Sykkunos yell of "SHES MY SISTER" you yelled out a bye as everyone started leaving and then struggled to find a way to end the call.
"Wait, how do I end it," you muttered to yourself.
You jumped as Corpse talked, not expecting anyone to be there.
"You can see yoru name at the bottom left right? Its above that but a little to the right." he said chucling a little.
"Oh." you said, you cheeks heating up. You didnt know if it was because of him or because you were utterly useless with technology.
"Um thankyou," you said awkwardly.
"No problem."
You exited out of the call, a small smile at your lips.
Sykkunos friends were nice.
~
After the stream, your fanbase grew, and with it, the number of orders as well. For the next week, you were buried under orders, only leaving the house to go to the post office.
An Instagram post on @junefarie account: 
[ID: A photo of y/n and sykkuno standing in the middle of the living room, packages scattered everywhere. Y/n is hugging Sykkuno tight and Sykkuno is staring at the camera, a distressed look on his face.]
Caption: Thankyou so much for all my supporters and all the love shown to me. Sending out loads of orders and I cant wait for you gusy to get yours! Special thanks to @sykkuno for helping me send out orders. luv yu.
Comments: 
@Sykisacutie: best sibling duo!
@valkyrae: hope my order is in their as well.
→ I SCREAMED WHEN SY TOLD ME THAT WAS YOUR NAME.
@corpse_husband: sykkuno looks like he's accepted death.
→ @sykkuno: I would have welcomed death at that point
→ @corpse_husband @sykkuno: okay ill be honest, I would have welcomed death as well.
@ariesin: go best friend, go! we need to get together to paint soon !!
→ SOONNNNNN
~
You flopped onto your bed, every part of your body hurting. Carrying boxes filled with orders down the stairs had tired your whole body, which wasn't used to any exercise at all. That had taken practically the whole day and then you had to clean your room because the mess from the orders had barely left any room to move. You flung your hand to the side, grabbing your phone from the table and bringing it up to your face. The "1:02" was clearly visible on your screen and you unlocked the phone, heading to Twitter. Scrolling through your feed, you liked a few tweets from friends before gearing yourself up and moving to the messages. Ever since you'd played with Corpse, Sykkuno and everyone, you'd been getting a lot of messages. Most of them were just the streamers fans, asking you if you know them or telling you to take care of sykkuno. There were a few though that targeted you, telling you that your art sucked, that they didn't know why Corpse could like my art. You'd taken to deleting them before sleeping so that your inbox wouldn't get cluttered and you could still find any serious requests or messages from your followers. Therefore, you didn't really think anything of it when there was another message from someone with a Corpse icon and you clicked on it only to see the message and gasp, immediately sitting up in bed.
Corpse_Husband → Hey, I was wondering if I could work with you on something? I really love your art and was wanting to commission or collaborate for an album cover or some merch designs. Message me on this number cuz I barely see my dms.
Underneath was a number.
"Oh my god," you whispered, unsure as to what to do.
When you had decided to drop out of college, you had expected hard days. You had expected your normal orders and mostly just improving your art and marketing it more. You had expected long days and not much money in the bank account. You certainly had not expected the immense amount of orders you'd gotten. Along with that, the amount of love and support had taken you by surprise and you had spent the last night crying because of how much love you and your art were getting.
You had also not expected such a big opportunity just landing at your feet.
Quickly you clicked on the number, putting it in your contacts with the name Corpse and then writing a quick message.
"Hey I got your twitter dm! I've personally never done art for merch or album covers but I would love the opportunity!"
You bit your lip, confused as to whether that was enough before deciding it was fine and just sent it.
Your heart beat a little faster as you slumped back onto the bed.
~
@junefarie Instagram story:
[ID: A zoomed-in picture of a drawing, the only part that was visible was curly hair. The text read: "Working on something SO COOL"]
~
Your phone was ringing. Stuffing the rest of the pizza in your mouth, you swept your hand over the covers of your bed, trying to find it. With a muttered "aha", you grabbed it and swiped on the call before it ended. Pressing the phone to your ear, you mumbled a "hello", still chewing the pizza bite.
A low rapsy voice came out of the speaker, one that you definitely didn't expect. You choked on the pizza, coughing out pieces onto the bed.  Sure you guys had messaged each other a bit (you kinda had to because of the commission), but you hadn't expected him to call out of nowhere.
"Um I hope this isn't a bad time," he said when you didn't respond for a second. Of course, he didn't exactly know that hearing his voice so close to your ear had you frozen for a second.
"Um no," you replied, coughing slightly to clear your throat. "It's fine! What did you wanna talk about?"
"Oh, um I know you're already working on the commission and its looking great! I can't wait to work with the merch team to create something really cool with it, but um-" he broke off for a second sounding hesitant. "I really wanna get another commission done as well."
"Oh?" you said after a second when he didn't reply. "I'd be happy to do another one for you!"
"Uh yeah, but I'm afraid that I might be a bit late, You see I was wondering if it could be done before Christmas?"
You sucked in a breath as you counted the days in your mind.
"Hmm, it depends on how big it is tbh. There's still 2 weeks to go till Christmas so I could fit it in," you mumbled, biting your lip as you remembered the onslaught of orders you still had to send out.
"Well," he started and you smiled a little as the excitement crept into his voice. "You know that Sykkuno, Rae, Toast and me are called the 4 Amigops right? I kinda wanted a portrait of all 4 of us, in our um among us colors, and I basically wanted to print it out and send to each of them for Christmas."
"Aww, that sounds like such a good idea, I'm sure they'll all love it!" you smiled, thinking about how much Sykkuno would appreciate that.
"Uh thanks," he mumbled, "do you think you can get it done?"
"Sure!" you replied immediately. You did have a lot of orders, yes, but like, you could fit Corpse in. If you pulled a few all-nighters. "I'll send you the sketches soon okay?"
"Oh thank god, thankyu so much for this y/n, I really appreciate it. Youre one of my favourite artists and I'm really happy that I could finally commisison you after so long."
"So long?" you questioned. "Since when have you known about my art?"
There was a moment of silence and then "Um, around the time you still posted your sketches and stuff I guess?"
You furrowed your eyebrows thinking for a second before letting out a gasp.
"Corpse that was 4 years ago!"
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, oh my god, I cant believe you've seen those, I was so bad then!"
"No no, they were really good at that time as well! I was so shocked when Sykkuno told us you were his sister because like, I'd been following you for ages and I had absolutely no idea. You guys are like really different."
"Hah yah, Sykkunos so soft, and then there's me. An actual devil."
"Your usernames so different as well! I remember when I first saw a picture of you on your account and I was kind of shocked because based on the name junefarie, I was expecting someone very soft I guess but then you were literally the opposite and wearing actual devil horns."
"Oh god, that was one of the first few photos I posted of myself. that was on Halloween I think,", you took a deep breath still shocked that Corpse had known about you for that long,
"Yeah, I chose junefarie because...”
It was 2 hours later when Corpse said that he should probably be working on his music.
"Oh I'm so sorry," you apologized, "I didn't mean to keep you,"
"Oh no, I um, I liked talking to you."
Your breath caught for a moment and you smiled like a lunatic at your Pokémon covered bedsheets.
"I liked talking to you as well," you whispered out, heart sinking a little as you realized the call would be ending soon.
"Um, do you, maybe want to stay on call? like I'll just be writing and we can just chill?" he asked and you felt like your prayers had been answered.
"yes" you said quickly, not giving him a chance to back out.
He chuckled, and you fell in love a little.
Just a little.
~
You continued like that, calling each other every few days, talking so much and then at times, not talking at all, simply content with each others company.
He had even started facetiming you, the first time with a mask and then the second without it. You hadn't made a big deal about it, but the first time you saw him, you could barely breathe.
There were five days left until Christmas when you got the idea.
You were entirely not subtle about it, because, well to be honest, there wasn't a subtle bone in your body.
"Hey Corpse, do you like surprises?" you had asked, in the middle of colouring Raes hair (her hair was the last thing left before you could finally print the goddamn thing)
"It depends," he had murmured after a second, voice sending shivers down your spine like every time. Now whether that was because of his voice or because of him, you weren't entirely sure.
"on what?" you prodded when he refused to answer.
"On whether its a good one or a bad one" he had huffed out.
You had hummed, waited for a second and then blurted out that next question because you did not have a cent of patience.
"So what are you doing at Christmas?"
"Sleeping, if I can manage it," he replied, his voice taking on a sardonic tone, eyes flicking to you on the screen. The only thing he could see though was the top of your head because you had your iPad on the bed and were laying over it as you drew.
"Not with that attitude you aren't," you replied right back, making a small smile appear across his face.
"Hmmm, okay!" you said when he didn't reply.
He looked back over, eyebrows furrowed and mouth opening as he started to question you.
"Hey did you see the video I sent you?" you quickly asked distracting him from his question.
He would probably guess the surprise but that was okay. You only wanted to make a smile appear on his face. And honestly, for someone with anxiety, a small warning of a surprise was definitely needed.
~
It was Christmas day and you woke Sykkuno up at 6 in the morning with the promise that you'd buy him McDonald's. 30 minutes later, you were both in the car, yelling the lyrics to "All I want for Christmas" at the top of your lungs.
You had told sykkuno of your plan a few days ago and he had smiled at you with that stupid smile, agreeing with a small "alright."
You'd immediately realised that he knew. Even though you pretended otherwise, Sykkuno was the older one and the thing about older siblings was that they always knew.
They always knew.
So there you were, snacks loaded into your car, McDonald's fries practically everywhere, and a cake you had made in the backseat, on your way to Corpses house.
There was a lull in the music, and you were only 30 minutes away from his place, butterflies fluttering in your stomach when Sykkuno asked you a question.
"You like him right?" he murmured, head leaning against the window, eyes closed.
There was a moment of silence as you thought about what to say. Did you like Corpse? Of course, you liked Corpse! He was funny, he was nice, he made you feel like you were the only person that mattered and your heart beat faster than ever whenever he looked at you. Hell, that was through a screen, in real life, it would probably be even worse. So of course you liked him! The question was, did he like you back?
"Yeah," you answered Sykkuno, eyes straight on the road.
A second passed and then he smiled. "Good," he replied. and well. That was that. You sighed.
At least you had your brothers blessing.
~
Pulling into the apartment building, you breathed in, your heart beating a million times a second and the butterflies in your stomach had turned into snakes. Maybe, maybe this wasn't a good idea at all. I mean, you expected Corpse to get the hint but what if he didn't? and what if he didn't want you to come? Maybe you were being too quick. After all, It'd only been a month since you'd met.
These thoughts plagued your mind as you trudged up the stairs, turning to Sykkuno as you reached the door.
"Maybe we shouldn't have come," you whispered to him.
He looked at you, eyebrows high, "We just travelled two hours to get here. There's no way im going back without at least giving him the print."
"What if he doesn't want us to be here?" you hissed.
"Then we'll go away." he stated, "after we give him the print."
"But what if-"
Before you could even finish your sentence, the door opened and you both jumped, turning to face the person standing in the doorway.
You forced yourself to breathe as you finally saw him. It was him. Wearing a black beanie, half his hair spilling out the sides, stubble clear on his chin... it was him. At that moment, there was only one thought in your mind.
You were gonna marry this man.
"You suck at whispering," he said, and you huffed out a laugh, jumping onto him without even responding. You wrapped your arms around him, not letting go until Sykkuno cleared his throat from behind you.
You turned back immediately, grabbing the stuff in Sykkunos hands so he could greet Corpse too. As they awkwardly did their handshake/fistbump thing, you walked over to the couch behind them, putting down the print and the takeaway bags, and putting the cakebox down on the table.
You turned around to see them both standing there staring at you.
"Surprise?" you said when no one else spoke. That broke the ice a little and you grabbed the print from the couch thrusting it at Corpse.
"Open it. Open it. Open it." you mumbled, your heart beating fast as he carefully ripped the paper off. The smile that overtook his face made your heart immediately calm.
"It's beautiful," he whispered, eyes roaming everywhere, trying to take it all in. Clearing his throat, he nodded his head further into the apartment, mumbling that he was going to put it in the room, eyes still on the print as he walked there.
"You smile is gonna blind me," muttered Sykkuno.
"Oh shut up."
~
A few hours later, you stood in the kitchen, putting the leftover cake into Corpses fridge. You had all chilled, eating cake and the takeout that you and sykkuno had bought, laughing every few minutes. It felt like you were all on an adrenaline rush. You had facetimed Rae and Toast, Rae shrieking when she realised where you guys were. Sykkuno had just fallen into a nap, still tired from being wakened up so early, you assumed.
You leaned against the kitchen bench, smiling as Corpse walked in.
"Thankyou." he said as he came to a stop next to you, matching your position.
"For what?" you mused, even though you had a good enough idea.
"For the print. For coming here. For making my Christmas, a much happier affair than it has been my whole life." he stated, chuckling at the last point.
You turned your head sideways, and you didn't know what it was, but something about his face made you spurn into action. You grabbed his collar, pulled him down, and kissed him before he could even say anything. It would be too cliche to say that fireworks erupted. And if you were being honest they didn't. Instead, it felt like everything was finally right. You fit perfectly in his arms as they wrapped themselves around you, and you smiled into the kiss as he lifted you up, making you sit at the counter. You twirled the hair at the nape of his neck with your left hand, taking a deep breath in as you both slowed down and pulled away.
"Well," he whispered, "that was unexpected."
You raised a single eyebrow. Honesty you'd done a lot for this relationship. You just drove for nearly 3 hours! If he wanted it to progress, he was gonna have to say it himself.
"But not unwelcome," he continued when you didn't speak. A moment passed, where you could see that he was psyching himself up to say something. Finally, with a heaving sigh, he whispered  "Darling, would you do me the honour of being called yours?"
You melted right there.
A nod was all he needed before he grabbed your lips with his again, both of you giggling when he accidentally hit the side of your mouth instead of the lips.
The sound of a picture being taken filled the air, making you spring apart and swing your heads over to the doorway, which had sykkuno leaning against it, his phone in his hand.
"Thank god. Rae and Toast bet that you wouldn't confess until after Christmas, so now they both owe me 20 bucks." he said, now fiddling on the phone. "Dont worry Corpse, I'll add a circle over your face or something."
Your mouth dropped open as you stared at your brother.
"You bet on my love life?" you scoffed, still shocked.
At his nod though, you swung off the bench, marching until you were eye to eye to him.
"I want half the winnings."
Rolling his eyes, he turned back to the living room, jumping onto the sofa.
"C'mon, let's watch one more episode before heading back," he said and you jumped in next to him, patting the space next to you as Corpse came in behind you.
You grabbed Sykkunos hand and squeezed it, letting him know that you were grateful that he didn't make it such a big deal. Leaning your head on corpses shoulder, you smiled to yourself.
You'd have to leave in 30 minutes, to drive back to your parents and spend the rest of Christmas with them, leaving Corpse behind. And that made you a bit sad sure, but it couldn't overpower the feeling of pure happiness at being here. At giving him a happier Christmas. You smiled as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.
Nothing could overpower this feeling of absolute happiness.
fin.
Corpse husband taglist:  @mythicalamphitrite @ramble-writes @atsumubabe @anxiouskat5646 @itssierramcquade @xaestheticalien @jotaroslightning @starstruckllamapuppy @gxldenskiez @shinyshimaagain @cavanana @fee-btheweeb (send an ask to be added!)
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leonpokmnstuff · 4 years ago
Text
The Trinity with an S/O that has a Legendary Pokémon
Piers:
The moment you met Piers, his Obstagoon was in love with you
The big ol Pokémon loved your gentle hands
After dating for a few weeks, Piers had asked you about your own Pokémon
"Honey, where are your Pokémon? I've never seen you with your own..." he trailed off, giving you a side eyed look
You froze
Giving him an awkward smile, you answered
"..... I have one.... but it-" you didn't get to finish
Your Darkrai felt your uncomfortably, and popped out of its pokeball
And pushed you away from Piers and Obstagoon
Glaring at them and staying in front of you
You gave Piers another crooked smile
"See? My Pokémon..."
Que "jazz hands"
Piers was shocked, he looked over the legendary nightmare Pokémon
"It... how?"
You shrugged, "it just started following me one day... and it agreed to become my partner."
Darkrai just glared at the male, almost giving a disgusted look at Piers
You cooed gently at the Legendary, soothing its glare as it turned its gaze on to you.
It gave another little glance at Piers, then back at you, silently asking you if you were ok
"Darkrai, this is Piers, my boyfriend. And he means us no harm. Ok?"
The Pokémon let out a grunt, and stood to the side a bit
You smiled at Piers, who looked at you, his sweet s/o
And tried to compare you to this.... dark, dark Pokémon
"I suppose he was attracted to your light. Like me." He glanced at you
You felt your face flush and turned away and mumbled a 'thank you'
Piers took your hand in his, not looking at you
But you knew he was happy, due to giving your hand a tight squeeze
Darkrai on the other side of you, let out a huff
Which made you let out a giggle, gently patting it on the shoulder
It would take some getting used to but your dark good bois would soon get along.
Raihan
The Dragon Man stared at you...
Mostly at your belt, where one pokeball sat
You were cooking at your shared campsite
And felt his stare on you
"Rai. Stop staring at my-"
"For once, I'm not staring at your ass. Why do you have one pokeball? Just ONE?!"
Then he pointed at his own Pokémon, that were playing nearby
"They need a new friend!" He pouted abit at you, crossing his arms
You looked at Raihan, "Babe. I dont want you to spook it."
He rolled his eyes, "Spook it? Really? I-"
He didn't finish
Rayquaza popped out of its pokeball
Letting out a loud roar, then looked at Raihan
The Dragon Man had sparkles in his eyes
"YOUR POKÉMON IS RAYQUAZA!?"
The big dragon shrunk at the loud man, cowering behind you
The dragon never liked loud noises
You made a face at Rai, and gently petted your soft dragon
"Its not used to humans being loud. Thats why I didn't want to introduce you yet."
Rayquaza made quiet cooing noises, nudging itself closer to you
Raihan stood away abit, wiggling a bit, too excited to meet your only Pokémon
"Its too cute! Why haven't-" he stopped when you glared at him
He took a look at the dragon
The large Pokémon was quivering and trying to hide behind you
He frowned, 'This is the Pokémon that stopped Groudon and Kyogre from fighting?'
He quieted down and sat on a log, as you calmed down your partner
Once Rayquaza calmed down, it looked at the man, still a bit frightened at the loud small (Well compared to Rayquaza) human
Not wanting to make you angry or spook the Legendary, Rai turned his attention to the curry
The Dragon Pokémon looked at you, for reassurance
You gave it a nod, "He's just excited to meet you."
Taking another look at the, now quiet, man, Rayquaza, leaned it's head down, giving Rai a curious sniff
Rai looked up, giving your Pokémon a look over, and his eyes lit up, realizing the dragon was getting closer
Though this time Raihan didn't move, he let Rayquaza come to him
He held the ladle up, to let Rayquaza check out the curry
The Dragon Pokémon lapped up the small bit of curry
Happy with the taste, Rayquaza nudged Rai, asking for more
You stepped in, gently pushing the dragon away, "No, its not done yet. But go meet Rai's Pokémon. Go play."
Rayquaza looked at you then at Raihan, its lip quivering a bit
Raihan put his hands up, "Their the boss here, but don't worry, my partners are nice."
Rayquaza gave a happy growl, as you patted its side and it floated shyly over to play
Flygon and Duraludon moving closer to the shy dragon
The pair greeted Rayquaza, inviting it to play
"You had a Legendary Space Dragon, hanging from your belt. And never said anything to me about it. I'm honestly hurt."
You rolled your eyes, "your immediate reaction, is what I was afraid of, Rai. I knew that you'd get too hype about meeting it."
Raihan stood, letting the curry simmer, and pulled you close
"Im sorry but THAT," he pointed to your Pokémon playing with his own, "is fucking amazing."
You gave him a kiss, "Im glad you like it then. Hopefully it'll warm up to you more."
"Oh, plan on it!"
Leon
Lee noticed you cutting dates short
And didn't want to assume anything
But the amount of time you spent away from him was starting to alarm him
You both would be chillin at home or walking around together
And you'll just say "Oh! Babe, I need to leave, I have something to take care of."
AND YOU'D JUST LEAVE!!
Honestly, that's what he was supposed to do...
He hurts his own feelings when you say you gotta go
Leon gets lost in his head, racking up the different things you could be doing
And all of them go from good to bad to worse, in minutes
So one day, he decides to follow you!
Yes, brilliant plan, as long as he doesn't get lost in the process
So when you cut your guys lunch date short, Lee and Charizard followed you
Yes, his backup plan is to have Charizard keeping an eye out for you too
You led them to a clearing (unknowingly)
Smiling you reached in your bag and pulled out a pokeball
Leon perked up at this
It hit him
He had never seen YOU with a Pokémon!
You threw your pokeball in the air
Releasing Giratina, The Renegade Pokémon
The Ghost Dragon gave a coo at your sight, and bent its head down to nuzzle you
You giggled and gave the dragon's head a kiss
Leon, couldn't contain himself anymore
He stepped out from his hiding place
Charizard following
"Babe! You have a Legendary Pokémon!" He spoke, slowly walking to your side
Giratina wasn't having it
It stepped over you protectively, growling at Leon
Charizard reacted, pushing Leon behind him, sending a growl of his own
Lee patted Charizard, calming his friend
You did the same, gently speaking to Giratina, patting it's leg
The moments that followed were a bit awkward, silence hitting the clearing
Leon bit his lip, and looked at you
"So this is where you've been running off too?"
You nodded, "y-yeah. I wanted Giratina to get used to your presence before meeting you...."
Leon nodded, turning fully to you and your Pokémon
"Well, Giratina, I'm Leon. Your trainer's boyfriend. And I wanna be your friend too."
Giratina looked at Leon, then to Charizard
Charizard gave an encouraging nod, signaling that his partner was really genuine
Giratina leaned it's head down towards Leon, looking the man in the eyes
Lee gave the Pokémon a smile, and slowly reached his hand out
The Ghost Type looked at the hand, then closed its eyes, meeting the Champion's hand half way
Then quickly pulled back and turned, letting you and Leon step closer to one another
"I think that went well." You smiled, hugging Leon
He returned the hug, as Charizard walked over and sat in front of Giratina
The two Pokémon started to "talk" letting out soft growls and roars at one another
You and Leon sat a bit aways from them
The Champion still in awe of the Legendary
"How-"
You cut him off, "I was in the Sinnoh region visiting a friend, and I happened across it... odd I i know but... it was kind enough to want to be my friend I suppose. So... yeah..."
Leon looked at you, still in awe, "I knew you were amazing, but..." he trailed off gesturing to the, now relaxed Giratina
You chuckled, "Yeah I know..."
Leon smiled and gave you a kiss on the cheek
"Well now we can all sit together!"
Giratina and Charizard turned their attention to you both
The Ghost let out a roar, as if agreeing with Leon
I'm chose the Pokémon for this one, and personally Giratina is my favorite after Charizard. Charmander was my very first Pokémon, for Fire Red. Plus I thought it was a fun idea.
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galacticlamps · 3 years ago
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im sorry im sorry im sorry i know it’s been well over a year but i accidentally thought about Short Trips: Deleted Scenes (again) and it’s killing me (again) so i think im just gonna go ahead and post all these stupid thoughts that have been plaguing me about it since i first heard it & maybe that’ll help clear up some space in my head for like, real life things.
Spoilers I guess? It’s like a year and a half old but also high key the most recent 2nd doctor content i believe we’ve gotten which is like, the only negative thing I can say about it
The TLDR version is this:
I literally cant believe how sweet it is? Painful, but sweet. Like. I don’t honestly know what’s more likely - did they set out to write Jamie a nice little straight love interest and just fail miserably at it by constantly likening her to the Doctor AND paralleling the Doctor’s perspective with her ex’s AND putting Jamie’s relationships with both of them in direct tension with each other while constantly letting his with the Doctor win out?
OR - did they do a very 1960s thing and say hey we’re gonna write what’s essentially a story about how much Jamie and the Doctor love each other and release it on Valentine’s Day thinly disguised as a one-off romance with a french lady?
Now, as a general rule, my attitude toward questions like that is usually “don’t know, don’t care, doesn’t matter” - and while I 100% stand by that, I also have to admit that this particular audio seems to pay enough attention to detail that I’d kind of think I was selling it short if I assumed too many of these things were just meaningless coincidences, you know?
Anyway, that’s the most coherent/overarching thought. And here’s a disorganized list of things I absolutely cannot get over about it (they don’t form any kind of argument, mind, they just all happen to live rent free in my head):
- Celine is first taken in by Jamie being an idiot (specifically him claiming not to speak French, in perfect French); likewise, her entrance in the scene where they actually kiss is marked with a little anecdote about her hat getting stuck on a doornail and her scolding it as she attempts to fix her un-tameable appearance, and the narration says Celine “would often clown for Jamie like this” - all of which, while undeniably adorable, don’t exactly strike me as entirely original traits to have been assigned to Jamie’s love-interest (but also Celine is so cool and her perspective on film/media/time is an excellent addition to the long list of dr who characters)
- When they’re in the present, describing Jamie’s relationship with Celine in 1908, they call him her “companion” and highlight his going nearly everywhere with her, which earns a laugh from the 4th doctor (and me as well, though probably for slightly different reasons - but like, is that really all it takes to have a fling with someone in 60′s era who? bc if so...)
- Celine’s ex-fiance is still in love with her and is jealously watching when she kisses Jamie ... and then the Doctor appears beside him, evidently doing the exact. same. thing. They have the following conversation:
“You know, it’s not prudent to spy on people. But then, people in pain can’t be expected to act prudently.”
“Pain, monsieur? You mistake me.”
“Ah, do I? Good, because I rather thought you’d lost something.”
“What would you know about loss monsieur?”
- I’m sorry doc but who do you think you are, saying stuff like that and smiling sadly at the floor to boot? I 100% had to pause it here the first time I listened, just to not throw my laptop across the room. 
- Then when I recovered continued, the Doctor closes the door so they can’t watch anymore and explains “Possessing things comes so terribly easily to some men that losing them can feel cruel, intolerably cruel. In my experience, only the very best of men cannot be tempted to answer that cruelty with more - I do sincerely hope that you are the best of men.” (guess who gets described as the best of men by the end of the audio?)
- Jamie and the Doctor apparently develop a habit of walking along the river in Paris in silence
- During one such walk, Jamie suggests Celine come with them since she already figured out about the Tardis - and when the Doctor’s worried by this, he says he only allowed Jamie & Celine to grow closer “because of Victoria.” Jamie takes offense at the ‘allowing it’ comment and also refuses to admit he knows what the Doctor means about Victoria, which leads the Doctor to say that he knows how fond Jamie was of her - he was too, of course, but with him, “it was different, wasn’t it?” Jamie only says maybe that’s true and maybe that’s not, but his voice catches until he changes the subject
- Jamie doesn’t see Celine for days both times that she’s recovering from the shock and depression of her work being destroyed. In contrast, when the Doctor’s not well, Jamie’s "afraid” and “guilty” and hardly seems to leave his side at all, if his being there “rushing to embrace him” the second he wakes up - after a period Jamie describes as “at least a week” - is anything to go by, anyway. so either bf writers need to learn how to write a committed straight relationship or admit that’s not what they ever intended in the first place
- Oh yeah, and the Doctor spends that week "asleep” in Jamie’s bedroom - no, there’s no explanation as to if that’s where he was when he first collapsed or if it’s where Jamie decided to take him bc why would they feel the need to explain him being there? why was it even relevant to tell us it was Jamie’s room in the first place?
- The Doctor somehow manages to control the Tardis enough to take Celine on one trip to an alien planet and then return to the correct time & place for her to use the footage she recorded there in her new film - and while the audio doesn’t do very much to explain how that was possible, it does treat this as A Pretty Big Deal, and immediately afterward the Doctor has to spend a week communing with his past self (and/or the Tardis?) debating how likely it is that the Time Lords could use this to trace him. When he decides it’s not worth the risk and they have to stop the film from ever being shown to the public, Jamie asks why he agreed to it in the first place, and all he can say is “Because, Jamie, you asked me to!” earning awkward stares from the crowd.
- Oh, but, lest we forget, that little outburst is also immediately followed by him putting his arm around Jamie’s shoulders, and, shockingly, apparently beginning to actually explain the truth about the danger from the Time Lords - until they’re interrupted, of course idk why exactly but the idea of a 60s dr wanting to come clean with a companion but not being allowed to bc the show demands the war games be something of a reveal hurts me in a very good way
- The mental image of “the Doctor and Jamie, resplendent in borrowed evening wear”
- The audio admitting that Jamie’s not very good at subterfuge, and the Doctor asking if he’s going to be alright with them having to steal the film back from Celine - and Jamie’s little “Aye, Doctor” as he feels a ‘glass arrow piercing his chest’ glad to see bf is reading all my letters about exactly how i feel any time something sad happens to james robert mccrimmon
- The Doctor’s anxious to get out of there for obvious reasons, but he hangs around bc Jamie wants to see Celine again - which doesn’t happen, because of her aforementioned shock & depression, but she does leave Jamie a note that ends “you and that Doctor of yours - look after him Jamie, he loves you dearly, as do I.” yeah, if you didn’t want people to draw a parallel there, you could’ve picked, like, any other wording in the world.
- In case you weren’t fully convinced I’ve been reading too much into this whole audio already, consider this: Celine dies in Long Island in 1968, three days before her birthday - 1968 is when this story would’ve taken place in the show’s history (between Fury & Wheel), and dying three days before/after a birthday in America seems a bit... well I had some deja vu from it, anyway
- Four of all people being the one to bring back the film - I know he does it bc Sarah Jane makes him, but personally, I often feel like despite the length of his run, 4 is the Doctor with which we might’ve gotten the fewest glimpses into his interiority, so the fact that it’s him and not one of the more overtly sentimental Doctors makes it feel like it carries even more weight somehow, to me anyway. I think I wrote a post saying roughly the same thing about 4 & Fate of Krelos/Return to Telos but maybe I only did that inside my own head lol. Still, I’m all for any opportunities for Jamie to be one of the few characters to draw some noticeable emotion out of Four, but in fairness I haven’t touched too much of his EU stuff to really be able to compare the frequency with which this happens with other past companions
- Is Four referring to Two or Jamie when he says he got the film from “an old family friend”? Two did the actual stealing, but he probably means Jamie’s involvement - either way, it’s an interesting way of describing old companions - or selves?
- When Jemima goes to call Jamie a thief, Four is “roused” to defend him: “he really was the very best of men” again, any time four freely shows he cares about someone, im over the moon about it
- Oh ha ha, there’s an audio called “Deleted Scenes” featuring the Doctor who’s most affected by junked episodes. And at the end of it, a character who’s spent her life researching and lecturing about a lost film gets to watch it be ‘rediscovered’ after it’s gone unseen for decades. I feel marginally less stupid for reading into the other details of a story like this when it ends up deciding to be to be clever & slightly meta like that
But yeah
all in all, it’s kind of amazing to me that this genuinely reads like they sat down and said okay boys it’s valentines day, let’s write an audio where jamie kisses a girl, since that hasn’t happened except as a plot device in one story in 1967 - but then when they got down to business they accidentally(?) wrote a story all about how important his bond with the Doctor is and how easily that can be compared to a legitimate love interest (even if the love interest in question is a one off character & the extent of the relationship appears to be like one kiss & then having Jamie spend most of his time around the Doctor instead)
I realize there’s something slightly illogical about writing the words “shipping aside” after a post like this but seriously - no matter how many categories you’re able to see two & jamie’s relationship fitting into, this is 40 minutes of big finish just hitting you over the head with how powerful/special/important that relationship is, and with them being two of my favorite characters, i really haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since
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remsmoonlight · 4 years ago
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— title : glitter in the sky
— word count : 2.3 k words
— pairing : loki x reader
— summary : before putting into place his plan for thor’s coronation, he seeks you out one more time for comfort only you can provide
— warnings : maybe a teeeeeny bit of thor bashing but incredibly minor .. love ‘im fr , bit of sadness
         ✧・゚: *✧・゚:*  requested ? nope /   requests are open  *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
an: i got this idea, first from watching the first thor movie because aw, and then moving onto silent hill and that field scene is a whole vibe..... who doesn’t wanna just chill randomly in a field with the sun on your skin with no responsibilities? hell yeah .. anyways this just got away from me in a way ha
Trailing your gaze up to the sky, your eyes marvel at the merging colours as you study them intently, witnessing the blend of hues and tones from a bright blue to a mixture of warm pinks and burnt oranges light up the surrounding area before you knew they would fade into nothing more than a dark blanket who’s only source of light would be the moonlight and the stars that would litter it.
Your shoes crunching the dry grass and the sounds of chirping from the various wildlife encompasses you, it takes all of your strength to not allow a large grin to brighten your features.
Despite being so late in the afternoon, time walking on a fine line towards the early evening, the heat from the sun is still so strong, comfortably toasting your skin as a heavy blanket on a cold winter’s night would.
In the distance you’re able to spot the intimidating stature of the aged tree, though it’s intimidating in name only  ⎯  for now it holds only those memories that lay locked deep within your heart. Your situation is a rather unusual one. Many summer afternoons had been spent shielded from the harsh rays of sunlight that shone over everything it could touch, though they hadn’t been spent alone. Rather, they’d been spent with an exceedingly phenomenal man. Can he even be called that? You wonder to yourself, Loki was far from human. Far, far from it.
“ to think I had been of the belief you would not be appearing. “
The suddenness of the voice slicing through the noises of the concealed fields would have shocked you more had it not been so honeyed. Holding the recognisable smoothness that you only associated with Loki.
“ this is the first time I’ve ever been late, thank you very much. “ you answer with an unwavering nerve as you stare at him while amusement floods your expression.
“ and the last, I’m sure? “ an eyebrow raises as he questions you, a warmth brightening his aura against the coolness he exudes normally.
Believing he’s not of Earth had been hard for you to grip, to believe fully, no matter how many tricks he could conjure before your very eyes. Though disappearing right before you, then feeling the whisper of his breath dance on the back of your neck so gracefully had been the confirmation you required. From there on a friendship blossomed into something more, you both becoming more and more involved with the other. Holding such unbelievable secrets were not a common place for you, to have this continues to make you feel like such a special soul.
“ oh, shut up! “
You stroll towards him, closing the distance with an enthusiastic energy that not even the longest of days could wear you down. Nothing in the world makes you feel so secure and guarded than when you finally feel the weight of his arms snake around you to bring you forward into his embrace. For Loki, you are a home away from home. Never do you gaze upon him with untrustful eyes, nor do you view him as beneath you, many negative connotations are attached to his name and you? You simply see him for who he wishes he could be, only ever in your presence does he try not to disappoint you. Back on Asgard that’s all anyone ever expects, so why not play into their prejudices? It has protected him so far, though the thought that perhaps even that has done more harm than good tresspasses into his mind on a rare occasion.
It’s not something he wishes to think about there though. He wants to dedicate his short visit to you entirely. Pushing away the increasingly regular thought it’s just a heartbeat, he is not one to be naive to pretend. Illusions are second nature to him, to forge them as easily to breathe, but to experience them are something that is in his power to prevent. He could allow this one instance to be selfish.
“ might I inquire of your wellbeing since we parted last? “ he requests as fingers entwine with yours to guide you to the slight hollow space within the tree. You drop yourself without any elegance to the ground, he settles behind you with his legs on either side of yours.
You can’t help but marvel at the differences between the two of you, like night and day. However, your differences fit like a puzzle with no inconvenience.
“ life keeps trying to test my patience, same as ever but ⎯ “ you pause, your eyes shining with remembrance of the gift you had brought, of course you knew it’s nothing more than a silly little trinket but you couldn’t help but fall in love with it. “ here, my friend’s been making these pieces for their business and I couldn’t help but think of you. “
Adoration is the only thing that overwhelms him in this moment, it’s a feeling he wants to lock away to relive over and over, for the only time he has never been treated as an afterthought is by his mother. Now? It’s a feeling that hasn’t been forged by a bond born of blood, but one that has arisen naturally. The item in your hand is a small metal band, with designs etched onto its body.
“ it’s only a little thing I know ⎯ “ you begin to babble, the words tumbling before you could even stop them. Your mind losing all control over your language before Loki put a stop to it.
“ I’ll have you know it’s not the physical item itself, but the sentiment behind it I hold dear. “
You want to respond with equally sweet words, but the heavy tone doesn’t go undiscovered by your ears.
“ Loki, what’s wrong? “
“ nothing, why do you ask? “ the God denies, switching the questioning to you.
Turning to face him, your eyes scout all over his features to spot anything that would give you cause to continue on with your concern. It’s light, the ghost of sorrow concealed behind a curtain of confidence and ego, even the most professional of liars can’t hide the truth of that. The hurt cuts too deep for a flimsy pretense of everything being perfect for it to bury those feelings.
“ you’re an amazing liar, but I’m beginning to get the hang of you. Besides, sadness is something difficult to completely hide. “
A heavy breath is released, your fingers from their position on his shoulders feel as if there’s an invisible weight that has almost decreased. You wonder how long he has carried this with him.
“ tell me. “
Every fibre of Loki’s being is fighting to keep his feelings kept away out of sight, to imagine they never manifested themselves into reality, but locked into place by the profound compassion swirling in your eyes he wants to finally divulge everything in his mind that has been plaguing him. Who knew a mortal could have such an enchanting effect he thought humourfully to himself.
“ the deadline for a successor to my father’s throne is approaching. “
“ and you’re worried? “ your brows lower, confusion marking your features as you struggle to understand why that could be so bad?
“ I've veiled many things from you, a fault of mine I understand completely. “ he admits, a sorrowful smile gracing his lips.
“ it’s never too late to share them. It might help you feel better? “
Loki wonders just what it is he has done in his history to be blessed with such an understanding and caring soul as yours, nothing could ease the lasting effects of each and every of his transgressions over his many years of living. How exactly could such radiance and light find the dark Prince of Asgard so easily? Many who lived in his realm would argue that he’s not deserving, instead countering that his brother should be in such a position of happiness.
He simply gazes upon you before speaking, a slender finger raising to tuck a few stray hairs behind your ear.
“ the successor has already been chosen, they always have been. This is a mere formality. “ switching his sight from you to the environment around you both, turning to look upon the steadily darkening sky.
“ so why do it then? “
“ to ensure that the process is seen as fair, despite the favour repeatedly falling to my brother. “
Nodding in understanding, you finally realise why there is a darkness that swirls over his head now he speaks of the topic. Living in the shadow of the golden child is not easy, your heart hurts as you realise that there must be many people who do not see the same man who you see. They see audacity instead of a daringness, to mistake him for an egotistical know it all instead of someone who has a thirst for knowledge and tricks.
“ never did they wish to stop viewing me as a troublesome child, I suppose I never aided in changing that. “
Nothing falls from your lips, knowing no words could do justice for what you need him to know, to feel. Twisting yourself onto your knees, you lean forward and allow your arms to provide him comfort as they surround his neck. One hand raises to rest in the dense raven locks of hair you constantly marvel over, moving ever so softly to trace patterns.
“ I’m sorry. “ you mumble softly, wanting to say more, but you can’t help but resign yourself to being unable to say anything meaningful. Instead, figuring it would be better, first, for him to speak his emotions without looking for any advice.
“ you’ve nothing to apologise for. The pieces will fall as they should. “ he comforts, whining to himself over the absence of your warmth as you withdraw the embrace.
“ Loki, what do you mean by that? “
“ nothing for you to worry yourself over, my dove. “ he shakes his head, as a chuckle that is short accompanies it, contains little genuine amusement to settle you.
“ I’m being serious, what are you talking about? “ your demand is light in touch, though your gaze holds an unrelenting strength as he looks towards you once more.
“ again, nothing that requires your concern. Midgardians, you worry too much. “
“ over things that can get the people we love into trouble, of course. “
His heart pauses in beating as the words seep into his mind, realising exactly what you spoke. Briefly, does he wonder if he misheard you, thought deep down he knows what you spoke.
“ did you ⎯ ? “ an unrecognisable vulnerability crosses his expression as he begins to ask what you had said, to hear it again as if for the first time.
A reddening of you cheeks can be seen, you look down with a sheepish grin. This had not been the way you had imagined using the love word. Of course, over the years of your life many things had not gone to plan, so this was just another instance in a long, long line of events that just got away from you. While you know there is something mutual, you can’t bring yourself to look upon him just yet.
“ you heard me correctly. “
Elation swells within him, even the thought of perhaps you would prefer Thor had you met him first could not creep more than a few feet before being banished from sight and mind, it’s not something he wants to entertain. Especially for what he has in mind to plan for the future. Instead, he allows himself to be engulfed in your love, to experience the last piece of goodness that has been reserved for him, knowing it won’t last.
All you feel from your dropped gaze is your nose being nudged by his, then the weight of his lips on your own. Moving together as if they are fighting to mould into one, fitting together so well. Both of you are left breathless, momentarily caught in the feeling of the other that oxygen is the last thing on your mind.
“ do not trouble yourself over events that have not come to pass yet. Especially on an evening as fine as this. “
The corner of your lips tilt higher as your turn away from him to peer over the surroundings you had briefly forgotten. The burnt colours had long since faded into darkness, the stars being the only light as they can only be likened to being glitter in the night’s sky. A true beauty.
“ I love nights like these, where you can see all of the stars. “
“ you’d be besotted with Asgard’s constellations. “
You’d settled back into the position you were in previously, with arms encompassing you protectively with your back secured firmly to his chest. Loki explains the beauty of Asgard, and how even in the day the stars can still be seen against the shining vividness of the colours of their sky. Quarrelling against the gold hues from both the sun and the palace he knows only as his home.
“ that sounds wonderful. “ you whisper, feeling fatigue sneaking its way to the forefront of your mind.
“ it truly is a beauty to see. “ agreeing with you, resting his head upon yours. Wishing nothing more than to be able to stay there in that moment forever.
“ I wish I could see it. I’m very jealous right now. “
He can feel you becoming increasingly drowsy, flattered that you would even let your guard enough to even allow sleep to touch you. Having you on Asgard would certainly make him a happier person, to have someone who isn’t his mother understand him would be freeing. Though his father would die before he allowed that to happen, a mortal on Asgard.
“ Perhaps one day. “
Loki can’t be sure if you even heard that, but it’s something he wants to entertain. Besides, what is the use of being a master of mischief and tricks if he couldn’t make such a desire come true?
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softxhariana · 4 years ago
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34+35 live stream
description: ariana’s live stream before debut of 34+35 remix music video.
word count: 2.22k
A/N: little piece based off this live stream that ariana did in the countdown to her releasing the 34+35 remix music video with doja and megan. obvs not included every question but just a few fun bits and harry mentions for you x
also disclaimer, this is NOT real, if u don't wanna read about these two then don't, i’m not tryna act like they’re together it is fiction.
❤ anywayz hope u enjoy luvs xox
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❖   "HELLO EVERYONE! thank u for coming to this premier,” ariana smiled sweetly at the camera, as the video cut to a shot of her for the beginning of the countdown.
“we had so much fun making this 34+35 remix video for you, and uhh, we hope you love it.” she continued, playing with her hair. no matter how long she did this for she swore she would never cease to get slightly nervous in these situations. where it was her alone, in front of a camera. but her fans made her feel at ease, and she felt she owed them something, as she hadn’t done many quarantine interviews like other celebs have.
“i thought i would come celebrate and join the countdown with you guys. which is something that I've never done before, but i’m very happy to be here and i was very excited to get some questions from you all...” she held up the sheets of twitter questions she had received, “um that i’m gonna be answering while i’m here so, i cant wait to celebrate this together and countdown and answer some of your questions!” she finished with a smile.
and it was genuine. a real smile that her fans were thrilled to see.
ariana was genuinely so happy and content with her life right now. with her family, her music, her friends, harry. harry her FIANCE!! might she add.
everything just felt perfect, and after all the shit the last couple years had thrown her way, she appreciated the break.
 she got her love back, she was making music that she fully loved, and put her whole soul into, and she had fans who had stuck with her and supported her through some of the darkest times in her life, that were now able to experience her happiness and personal growth with her. so truly, little things like this, felt like the least she could do for them.
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“ohh this is a good one because its 34 35 related” she tucked her hair behind her ears, “@noirgrande said ‘ummm its just i wanna the end of 34+35 is it awww shit or nooo shit, i just wanna sing the song right”
“umm it is indeed no shit” she confirmed, smiling matter of factly at the camera before reciting the closing line of the song.
~~~~~~~~~~~
“@arianalocks1223 said ‘will we get to see the track list before the songs release?’” she paused for a second to process - which turned into a few more seconds, she was a bit slow today. she had told harry with full sincerity that she thought it was because she was getting old but he had just cracked up at her absurd statement, and told her that if that was the case he’d still think she was a milf
“you will!” she nodded with certainty, “indeed. ummm... i can tell you them now” she blurted, oops.
“i suppose thats not like... is that against the rules? can i do that?” she turned, to question scooter who was supervising off camera, not wanting to get her label mad at her for releasing too much information, something she has a tendency to do. 
after getting the nod of reassurance from him she turned back to the camera, “so out of ‘POV’, you go into, um, an interlude called ‘someone like u’. after that is a song called ‘test drive’, after that is the 34/35 remix with doja and meg” she smiles lightly, “and after that is a song called ‘worst behaviour’, and after worst behaviour is... a song called ‘main thing’...” she finishes, a shy smirk forming on her face, dimples appearing, “so that’s the tracks.” 
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continuing with the countdown, ariana felt her heart warm at the love her fans were giving her and this album. she loved interacting with them and making them happy and proud of her so knowing she had done just that, was an amazing feeling.
“umm hesbloodsline... @hesbloodsline ... i’m really fond of this question because its really to the point, ‘where's the pig and where the fuck is harry?’” she smiled, holding in a laugh.
“piggy’s here, she's great, she's really doing so well and life is really good for her right now, she's really thriving and doing her thing” she ranted, a hint of sarcasm in her voice, “um, i make her big salads everyday that she likes, she's doing really great. she asked me to stop posting her as much because she's actually really offended by a lot of your jokes that you make on twitter, she asked me to have a word with you guys” she continued to joke, well aware that she probably found herself more funny than anyone else did right now.
“she doesn't like the jokes about being eaten, they really hurt her, umm yeh, and she asked me to convey that... no she’s great...” she finally decided to answer, “and harry, is on set today, so um, yeh thats where he is... but don't worry i will tell him to keep you in the loop, i’ve got you” 
ariana unconsciously let a small smile take over her glossed lips when talking about harry. he had been so excited about this new project and seeing him passionate and happy about anything he’s doing, always made her happiest.
~~~~~~~~~~~
“nicole! @nastyctrl. nicole said ‘who helped come up with the concept for the positions music video, love u sm ari’ love you so much to, i love you so much more” she paused, she loved this story,
“um this is actually a really funny story, dave and i had been going back and forth on several different concepts, and i couldn't, like... marry one... i couldn't really, like, really commit to one, i wasn't 100% sold. and it was missing a certain element of empowerment. and i kept, you know, trying to think of things that would make it more impactful cause i wasn't loving what we had...”
“anddd then me and harry were on this huge hike, and he just turned to me and was like, ‘what if you were the president?’ which was like, not at all fitting cause i was dying and complaining the whole time. but i was like,” she tried to imitate a shocked face through her smile and laughed 
“and when i called dave he was like ‘oh... kay, ill call you guys back’ and had the whole production team redo everything, and i had mimi pull completely different outfits and we completely started over cause that idea was what i was, craving and missing. and i was like, wow, thats so perfect” she smiled, shrugging her shoulders, “so yeh, honorary directing credit to harry styles, if you liked that”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“this is from @borderlinevinyl, who said ‘how much of the album was recorded at your little home studio?’ ummm..” she sang, looking off camera in thought, everything in quarantine had honestly just blurred into one so she was struggling to remember what exactly she recorded where,
“um... a lot of it was... i think i did parts of everything here and parts of things at tommy's i know i did, um, the final chorus ad-libs for positions at home” she began listing in her head, “i know i did all of off the table at home... i know i did the final chorus of my hair at home because we- i-” oops. she had to control the laugh threatening to leave her lips at the lack of subtlety in her correction
“-i got out of the shower and he was like ‘oh your whistles are really here right now’, and i was like y’know what... yeahh they are aren’t they” she laughed as she squinted her eyes and recited that part of the conversation, even trying to imitate his deeper accent.
she had been singing in the shower - as she always did - and harry joining her never seemed to stop her from belting out any whitney or old one direction classic she wanted to. he would even join in sometimes and they'd end up with their own mini concert, dancing around naked, shampoo and conditioner bottles in hand singing their hearts out to everything from high school musical to nicki minaj to fleetwood mac.
while it felt like too bold of statement to make as she truly revelled in and enjoyed everything they did together, showering with him was truly one of her favourite’s. whether it was steamy shower sex that had all glass surfaces in the room fogging up or letting loose and dancing and singing under the pouring water, every moment felt so intimate and sacred. it truly made her feel like they were they only people in the world. 
of course he would claim she was out singing him every time she whistled and would jokingly try to replicate the note but he was truly just in awe off the sounds that came from her mouth (in all senses of the word;)
"-and so i opened ‘my hair’ and just randomly did that” she continued, “um what else did i do here, i did the a lot of the backgrounds and ad-libs for 34+35 here, um, obvious was done at home, a lot of six-thirty was done at home”
caught in her own thoughts she only realised she had probably been droning on for too long when she caught scooters eye across the room and with a blush she shook her head as if to clear it, “this is an annoying answer, everything was kind of all over the place but i did a lot, a lot, a lot of the vocals for the album at the house" she finally finished the long answer, moving on quickly as she realised she didn't have long until the premiere and she wanted to answer as many of the questions as possible.
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“ok, second last question from hannah, ever- @everdxystxless, im sorry i don't know how to pronounce that” she laughs looking up at the camera with wide eyes, not sure how exactly how she was supposed to go about pronouncing the username, 
“im sorry, um, but anyway she say’s ‘ari baby, how do you feel about harry getting to do a movie with florence pugh, we know your a big fan of hers, ps. i love you so much!’ well hannah, i love you too” she replies, as she thinks back to when harry first introduced the two, after she had gotten over the initial fangirling, the pair became amazing friends. florence struck ariana as such a genuine, loving person and they shared the same dry sense of humour. plus ariana might of been just a little obsessed with her accent - not that she would ever admit that and scare the girl off.
“and... um, yeah, it literally, made me beyond happy, i was fully like, fangirling when i met her the first time” she laughs as she plays with her hair, “she honestly, probably was like, ‘who the fuck is this girl? what is she doing?’”ariana imitated, a faux scared/weirded out look on her face, playing the part of a mildly pissed off florence - which she luckily had never been on the receiving end of, “im sure i was being the opposite of subtle about it but, no, she really truly is the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful, talented human being” she emphasises, the thought of any news outlets of fan’s trying to spin a ‘jealousy’ story about this making her internally role her eyes,
“midsommar is, like, one of my all time favourite movies, and she's amazing in it, and harry’s like so fucking lucky its crazy. so yeah, thats insane”
~~~~~~~~~
"...so yeah... thank you so much! this was so much fun!” ariana exclaimed as she wrapped up the Q&A, smiling wide at the camera, she knew her fans were going to love the music video and she couldn't wait for them to watch it, plus interacting with them in this way always made her happy.
“i love you guys, i miss you” she reminded, “i am so appreciative of everything you've done for this album, for these singles, for this music. i hope that, um, that this makes you super happy, i hope it makes you smile...we had so much fun shooting it and um, the girls are so fantastic, so i hope you love this and i hope you love the deluxe!” 
ariana didn't know how many more ways she could say thank you and express her gratitude but she still had over a minute and a half so she’d have to come up with something, even if it meant she’d sound like a broken record
“i am so thankful for everything and for the love that you've shown this music i cant even begin to articulate it properly so, thank you! i appreciate it so much” she breathed out all in one, “but anyway, the video should be starting soon, so... i hope you like it, don't refresh! it’ll be here soon... i promise... just don't refresh” she urged dramatically, she was really dragging this out, “but yeh” she got out through laughs “the video should be starting anytime now, i love you guys” she blew a kiss to the camera before moving as close to the lens as possible “byee”.
🖤 there u go!! i hope you liked it, and any feedback would always always be welcomed and so so appreciated pls and thanku x 
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hongism · 3 years ago
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Hyello, okay so. I don't have the emotional energy to take in and discuss everything in that chapter so imma just gush over the info cause I am a ✨whore✨ for world building.
So obviously MOC SPOILER
hi bestie HELLO guess WHO!!! finally ANSWering!!! altho im gonna answer separately and space everything out all Neatly bc im all over the place so strap IN we’re going on an moc RIDE!
THERE'S A WHOLE SIREN COMMUNITY?! AND YN AND IT MUST BE WOOYOUNG WERE FRIENDS? SIRENS HAVE A FULLY FLEDGE COMMUNITY WITH PRIESTS AND SCHOOLS AND MULTUOLE CITIES TO SOME EXTEND??? MAYBE EVEN AN ENTIRE PLANET WITH SIRENS MAYBE THEIR ORIGIN PLANET? HOW MANY TYPES OF SIRENS ARE THERE AND IN THE COMMUNITY HOW DTRICT ARE THE DIFFERENT ROLES?!?! ALSO DOES THE SIREN COMMUNITY ALLOW FOR DIFFERENT TYPES OF SIRENS TO BE TOGETHER? OBVIOUSLY THEY SHOULD BUT ARE THE CHILDREN THEN HYBRID TYPES, LIKE WHEN WE GET BLUED DARK SKIND BABIES OR CAN A SKREN ONLY BE ONE TYPE. WHAT POWERS DO SIRENS HAVE AND DOES THE POWERS REFLECT THEIR PERSONALITY AND DO THE DIFFERENT TYOES LEAN TOWARDS CERTAIN JOBS. LIKE WE JUST LESRNED THE OCEAN GOTTA BE PRIESTS BUT MOON ISNT STRICT WHAT ABOUT FIRE. AND IS YN INSTIC TO PULL OUT A HEART CAUDE HER PERSONALITT, TRSUMA OR IS IT RELATED TO THE MOON. ALSO CAUSE ITS A RED MOON WHICH IS COMMONLY A BLOOD MOON, IS YN THEN A SPECIAL MOON SIREN AND THATS WHY HER POWERS ARE STEONGER OR HER INSTICTS TO USE THEM ARE STORNGER BUT THEN THE MILITARY FUCKED HER UP. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
now this is the thing im biting my tongue on SO HARD bc it’s my favorite aspect of the world building and the universe and everything involved in it bUTIHDFKJG THERS SO MUCH I WANNA SAYYYYYYYYYY in short that one dream sequence holds more hints and information than ANYTHING from previous chapters, i think that it’s probably the MOST IMPORTANT dream to date. while we’ve seen some crazy ones in the past, this one is both the biggest hint and the biggest window into y/n’s past by FARRRR. even tho that whole scene was dialogue i think there’s so much to pick up on from it and so much to see and learn from it and it’s one of my faves bc there’s so much to unpack from it !!
Like yes the story and the development is freaking ✨yes✨ I love it. Genuinely think moc should be released as books. But I just cannot deal with the emotions rn.
But also now all I'm going to be thinking about how many sirens are actually out there. And if yn knew her parents and wasn't just an orphan the military found in the streets... How the fuck did she end up in the military grasps. What happened to her parents what happened to the community, is it still out there? Guess I gotta go back and reread the galaxies and the backstories, obviously I must have missed or have forgotten something. Ugh how the puzzle pieces are puzzling (or something). Moc is a drug and I'm not going sober anytime soon
(obviously you don't have to respond to my questions, this is more just an insight into the spiralling of theories going on in my mind)
releasing moc as books? a dream and a half, i can say that much slkjdlgkjlkf but back to the sirens... how many are out there? we heard early on that hongjoong was looking for ‘the last five’ but then seonghwa debunked that and said that was a mistranslation over time that was passed down and such, but beyond that, we don’t really know much about sirens as a whole? there are some hints in the galaxies and planet descriptions but if that dream sequence is a puzzle, i would say we have a handful of pieces that can be put into place based on what we’ve learned so far!!!!
Okay I lied, I am ready to unpack a little of the ✨emotions✨
When hongjoong explained that hwa tried to stop San only for San to detain him and in a sense make him watch the scene unfold. And then realising hwa had to go through that again, only being even more helpless. I don't doubt hwa loves San, but to see the events happening again, with someone he clearly loves as much as he does yn even if he also loves joong, and to see the desperation and determination must have been just. Horrible. Just absolutely soul breaking horrible. I can imagine him vowing to himself after San that he would never let something like that happen again. That of any of the crew got out of control like that, that he would fight harder to stop them. That he would would do absolutely everything in his power to stop it. And then being helpless as he watched yn do it. Just pure heart wrenching pain. And it must have been beyond terrifying to see someone you love ready and determined to kill themselves partly from rage and partly from desperation. With the backstory, that scene becomes almost as cruel as the warehouse scene with San. The only redeeming quality is no one needing life saving surgery in a time crunch, otherwise they would be the same level of ✨never again✨
honestly i think the two crew members i torture the most are san and hwa bc i just keep putting them thru all this shit and hurting them so much but really this was the defining point of why seonghwa was so afraid. before we kinda just knew he was afraid of yn and hongjoong was mad about it. in this revelation we get to see the source of the trauma and how it was amplified by it being someone he loves as dearly as he loves yn. and for sure when first reading that scene of yn and jisung in the brig, it’s meant to evoke a sense of anger and rage like yn is so angry to a point where she would do this sort of thing, but my hope with that scene was also to show that desperation. that when looking back at it after having already seen the rage and the aftermath, that reading it again shows how desperate and hopeless she was in that moment. which is exactly the same emotion that was evoked back in that warehouse scene with san, except it was relayed differently because the warehouse was a more immediate sense of desperation. this brig scene was meant to emulate that but in a slow burn kinda way where the veil of realization is pulled off after the fact and not in the moment!!!
Just to make sure you don't misunderstand. Those asks were compliments. You are an absolutely incredible writer. And the fact that you aren’t afraid of hurting your characters *cough cough* SHOOTING SAN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? *CLEARS THROAT AGRESSIVELY* just makes the story much better. No one gets plot armour, making it more realistic (?) and really draws in the writer and sorta imitates the fear and desperation the characters feel
PLS don’t worry, i live for every moment and i live for these open and raw and genuine conversations i didn’t take any as an insult i PROMISE!! i think part of the nature of this whole trope of space pirates and criminals is that hter is no guarantee of safety! i don’t wanna have to cut corners to make sure everyone stays unharmed and undamaged throughout the story when the nature of the world i’ve built thus far is a wildly dangerous one!!! i always say that i try to be as realistic as i can, all things considered, and i think that’s the biggest thing that adds to the ‘realism’ in my mind so im so happy to hear that you see it and appreciate it and enjoy it!!!
OHOHOHOHOHOH ALSO
YN GRIPPING SOMEONES HEART??? YOU WRITE THAT SO FUCKING WELL. LIKE ENIGUH DETAILS THAT WE KNOW WHATS GOING ON, BUT ALSO NOT SO MANY DETAILS SO IT GETS DETACHWD FROM THE STORY. LIKE THE LACK OF CLEAR SUPER MANY DETAILS REALLY MADE IT THAT *YOU ARE EXPERIENCING THIS, NOT JUST READING IT* LIKE IT MADE IT WAY MORE EMOTIONAL AND OERSONAL AND THE READER REALLY GOT IMMERSED IN THE MOST HORRIBLE WAY THAT KUST MADE IT ALL RHE MORE BETTER. ALSO JOONG AFRAID????? JOONG REALISING HE GOT A FULLY FLEDGED HEART RIPPER SIREN WHO CANT CONTROL HER BODY TO MOVE THROUGH A HARMLESS DOOR BUT CAN DEFINITELY KILL IN A HEARTBEAT (OR TWO 👀) ALSO THE CONTRAST OF REMOVING RHE BLOOD COLOURED WHITE OLASTIC AND HAVING A CLEAN HAND UNDERNWATH. THE SYMBOL OF IT ALSO BEKNG A TRASH CLEANERS SUIT. LIKE SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY USE THE TRASH PROTECTION DUIT FOR ITS INTENDED PURPOSE. ALSO THE OART WHERE SHE SAYS SHES FINE EVEN TJO SHE ISNT. AT FIRST I READ IT AS HER TELLING HERSELF TO LIE BUT THEN I REALISED ITS HER ADMITTING SHE VERY MUCH ISNT. AND SAN NOT KNOWING???? AND KISSING HER HAND AND UGH AND SEONGHWA KNOWING. I BET HE'S LOWKEY GETTING MORE AND MORE AFRAID OF HER. LIKE YN IS READY TO KILL HERSELF AND ANYONE AROUND HER TO KEEP SAN SAFE. AND SHE INSTICTUALLY GOES FOR THE MODT AGRESSIVE METHOD POSSIBLE. IHHHHHHHHHHHHH I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND YOUR WONDERFUL WTITING AND YOUR TWISTED MIND THAT CAN CREATE ALL THESE FUCKING SCENES THAT GOT ME THUNKING AND FEELING ✨EMOTIONS✨
truly one of the HIGHLIGHTS of the chapter simply bc of how shocking and sudden it is!! for me, that was one of the easiest scenes to write in the chapter, oddly enough? it was something that when it came time to write it, i knew how i wanted it to be and was able to just sit down and write it out the way its written in the final draft of the chapter. i really love playing with those aspects of fiction and storytelling. tangible to a point, without spelling it out. i think it’s obvious that i really love delayed realization in writing, but i really like playing with how the brain processes information and for me personally, i don’t pick up on things right away! i can realize them in a snap or it can take me a bit to go ‘oh god that’s what happened’, and i like playing with that in y/n’s character a LOT.
and in that same vein of thought, there are some layers to that scene as well when compared to the door scene. in the door scene we saw hongjoong clearly tell y/n ‘you need to do this to save san’ yet she wasn’t able to do it despite trying and believing hongjoong. then in the heart scene we saw y/n clearly tell herself ‘you need to do this to save san’ and she did it then. so there’s a lot at play in that parallel alone too. and with that internal monologue she has of im fine vs not fine, then san kissing the hand that touched a literal real actual beating heart for me that was a sort of self indulgent scene and i was really worried about it coming across as too cheesy or something like that, but that is something that’s gonna impact y/n as a character and her relationship with san when they have the conversation of ‘oh hey i put my hand through a man’s chest for you’
i think part of why this chapter was so difficult to construct and write as a whole definitely is because of all the undertones and nuances throughout, and in a lot of ways it’s so so much to even think about that it’s almost too much packed into one chapter alone, but even if you don’t pick up on all the nuances throughout, i’m hoping to revisit them and bring them back around in that delayed realization style again bc that’s one of my favorite things to do ofc :3
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holicanth · 4 years ago
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Joy and Union
Day 2 of Shinoweek 2021 - Winter, Friends/Family
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Words: 2.3k
Genre: Fluff, friendship, FRIENDSHIP!!!
Warnings: Self-hate, suicidal thoughts.
Tags: Shinohina, Hinata’s worries and fears. Kiba acts like a clown, Team 8, Team 8 is chaotic and share one braincell. 
Author’s Note: This is a onehsot. Wanted to make something light to counter the absolute shitstorm im about to make tomorrow :”v Hope you like it :D
Summary: A simple task—to tail a group of chuunin-level gangsters who had been extorting money from one of Konoha's poorer regions. The group was interested in the mining industry of the area, but have tried to take the compound with illegitimate force.
An insect user has to be able to adapt to all forms of weather, using chakra to regulate body temperature and balance at all times.
 It takes a while for Shino to master this technique, but now he uses it almost automatically.
 The reason being his persistence to use cloaks and the like in the heat of summer.
 Shino knows that there is nothing wrong with his skin. It isn't scarred, tan, or even rough. The Aburames are all born with extremely regenerartive skin, but Shino fears the disgust reflected on his comrades when they see bugs dig out a hole from inside him
 (He used to be more blatant with it, reveling in their shock. But Shino learns that this has left him more alienated than accepted)
 So in summer months he would cover up with loose robes, with enough ventilation to help his bugs move freely. Of course, Shino prefers the warm embrace of sunlight, but he finds that the winter months can be more comfortable than they seem.
 It was during a reconnaissance mission, dead winter, and Team 8 was assigned to a small village to Konoha's North. 
 A simple task—to tail a group of chuunin-level gangsters who had been extorting money from one of Konoha's poorer regions. The group was interested in the mining industry of the area, but have tried to take the compound with illegitimate force.
 Kiba and Akamaru left to chase after the gang leader, while Shino and Hinata were to guard and uphold the mine from other assailants.
 It was a quiet morning. The villagers were scared (as they should be) and have decided to hide themselves in their homes. Shino's bugs were less effective during winter, but enough to ward unsuspecting intruders.
 Meanwhile Hinata was observing all around with her Byakugan. She has been up for a few long hours. 
 Shino is not a fool. He notices the pattern that Hinata's behavior takes during missions. To do her best. To never give up. To prove that she is worthy of something.  Even if it pushes her over the brink. He’s always hated the way she thinks so poorly of herself, as if she deserved all the discomfort that comes from being a shinobi. He understands the feeling well, though.
 "You know that you can leave this to me, right?" Shino muses next to her, "Rest, Hinata. You'll overwork yourself."
 Hinata deactivates her Byakugan, lightly rubbing her eyes in an attempt to release strain
 "B-But your bugs can't move much during winter, Shino-kun. You need extra chakra to regulate their temperatures." She glances at him, worry apparent on her voice. "You’ve saved me from their attack before. I don’t think you should move much…”
 The aforementioned gang was comprised of a compilation of rouge ninja from all sorts of villages. They have a particularly bad reputation within poorer villages but are in esteemed positions in Sunagakure. They’re particularly dangerous for their rejection of manipulation of Suna politics. Not only that, they have weapon masters, innovators, and a single scientist who aid them in their operation.
 The whole gang have been on the prowl for a long while, keeping themselves low for the last five years. Three months ago they’ve begun to act more hostile. Starting from a robbery in October to in a mining heist in December. An anonymous tip signaled that the whole gang are on the move, and going on extortion operations as a collective. This information went to the Hokage’s office, who then decided that the elite of the Konoha 9 were to deal with the issue. ‘They’re probably pissed that Gaara’s kazekage now’, Tsunade mentions.
 A series of sneezes distracted Shino's thoughts back to Hinata.
 Without thinking, Shino had automatically gave Hinata his coat. Winter is harsh towards insect-users, but Shino thinks he can handle this. Of course he can, after everything Hinata has done for the mission.
 "Aren't you cold Shino-kun?" 
 They had a scuffle before, in which one of them surprised them with a Fire-style jutsu, resulting in the loss of 40% of Shino’s kikaichu. Kiba had been fast enough to dodge, but Hinata had to be shielded by Shino. Luckily, both of them were left unscathed. Leaving Hinata to her guilt and her disappointment.
 "No, I'm fine. I'll be on guard now, you've done enough, Hinata."
 Hinata has always felt lacking. Even if she excelled physically to her teammates, even when she's the de facto taijutsu master in her team. She was always too kind, they'd say. She's too forgiving. From the very beginning, Hinata has left Kiba and Shino to do the dirty work for her. Murdering a team of genins during the Chuunin exams was just the beginning of it.
 And Hinata doesn't reject this. She was truly grateful that she didn't play an active part in these deeds.
 (And all the while she weeps in regret.
She believed that Shinobi are meant to protect those precious to them.
She never thought that a Shinobi would do such immoral things.
But she never grew out of this mindset, either.)
 Years has passed, and they've all grown into more mature, well-adjusted shinobis. She thinks about how to apologize to them. How to reverse the horrible things they've done in her stead. A shinobi is, ultimately, someone who protect those who are important to them. This is what she had trained so hard for. To protect and nurture. The idea of having to harm others in the name of protection—she detests it with her whole being.
 Sometimes she thinks,
That if she dies, the souls of those her team has taken would be put at peace.
 "It will be fine, Hinata. Don't worry, I can handle this amount of cold." Shino says, as he turned his back on her, facing to step outside the cave.
 The Kikaichu were not fully recovered. Should another ambush take place, there was a high chance that Shino would be injured.
 (Something in her urges her to rebel against his words. She didn't want it to continue like this—to have Kiba and Shino go out of their way for her.
 Especially Shino.)
 In a sudden fit, her hands clamped themselves around the boy.
 She has always known that Shino was tall, but now that she's close to him did she realize how different their heights are. Hinata notices too that Shino was not as skinny as she thought he was, but she hadn't noticed rhe boy's confusion.
 "Hinata what-" 
 Her ears were red.
 "I'm sorry, Shi-Shino-kun, I..I was--"
 Panic. She had to find an excuse immediately.
 "I-I just think that you're warm Shino," she blushes, looking to the side "You're good at regulating your body temperarure so..."
 If she could turn back time Hinata wishes that she could pull herself out of this situation. How silly of her. Hinata makes sure that she was always careful in every action--something she learned from her family the hard way--but she's found herself becoming clumsier than ever. 
 A trait she inherited from Kiba she supposed, 
 But this was not time to reminisce. 
 She has yet to release her hold. She thinks that she shouldn't. Her mouth doesn't form the words that she wants, and she's left speechless with the rush of emotions that gobble her. Her heart tears with a feeling of sorrow. Was she going to be left behind? She despises the way that her sincerity gets in the way of her job.
 (Shino Aburame was not someone skittish. Had it been anyone else he'd have felt a bit odd, resistant even, but the fact that it was Hinata eases his mind.)
 He doesn't bother her clutching on to him like this. But he doesn't immediately welcome the hug either. The idea of skinship was something he choose not to familiarize with, as people were always quick to avoid his advances, anyways.
 (Shino had always been isolating himself against his peers. He strives so hard to be level-headed. He tries his best to do well in class. But none of that made him any more likable--with all the bugs and unfriendly demeanor.)
 It started with a slight tap on the back, to one arm wrapped around her, and finally Shino eases himself enough to reciprocate the hug. Their eyes met. Somewhere, somehow, a strong feeling of compassion gripped him. In an instant, he felt an innate understanding rush to his head, as if he was absorbing all of Hinata’s emotions as they hugged.
 (Silence fell still on them—the serenity of the scene filling them with an odd elation. Hinata’s mind was previously occupied with dark thoughts, but now she can think of nothing but the winter and Shino’s warmth.)
  A lucid, fuzzy feeling overtakes Hinata. Her arms hugged tighter and she smiles into Shino's chest. At first, she was afraid that he'd jump out of her grip. Afraid that, like her family, Shino would have downright rejected any affectionate gesture. 
 (And the thought terrified her to death. The idea of being separated from her teammates. Separated from her home.)
 Shino was pleasantly surprised at himself, too. How simple it was to connect with someone—how easy it had been for Hinata to break his walls. For the first time in a while, Shino feels the joy of having a genuine union with someone, and God did he crave for it so badly.
 (Try as he might, but he has always lingered nearby her. Like a moth to a flame.
 It felt so natural for Shino, yet his own insecurities had lead him to stubbornly reject all attempts of friendship)
 They stayed like that for a minute. And that minute soon grew into half an hour. And just like that, Akamaru comes barking while dragging a group of chuunins tied by rope.
 Both of them had known that the gang was strong, feared even. What they didn’t expect was Kiba to be so fast in tracking them down, defeating them single-handedly, and bringing them back to the village. He was always feisty and feral from the beginning, but Kiba really changes when someone hurts his teammates.
 "Gee, look who's getting nice and cozy while I do all the work for us. I am so getting a day off after this..." Kiba mused, hauling the unconscious criminals to be taken by Akamaru to Kurenai.
 "Kiba-kun! I'm... um... It's not like that..."
 "Hinata thinks that I am a heater." Shino says, deadpan. "You can come near if you're cold, too."
 Kiba processes Shino's words as his brain buffers. Shino? Allowing physical contact? It must be raining cats and dogs outside. Kiba was in disbelief but there was also a sense of pride in knowing that his teammate's ice cold facade had began to thaw.
 Kiba had always been wary of Shino (In a good sense). He made sure not to overstep his boundaries after learning from several prank attempts that you can never escape Shino’s bugs, especially when he decides to use centipedes. Regardless, Kiba acknowledges his existence and understands that some people are a little bit more difficult to get by,
 "Hmph. You think I'd need some warming up after all that chasing?" He pouts, looking to the side. 
 "Because you're fucking right!!" He yells as he tackles both of them to the snow, a cheeky grin lit on his face. Kiba’s brashness made both Hinata and Shino tumble into the snow. Now they’re all tired and not warm. Damn Kiba. His big idiot energy did not register the fact that snow is, indeed, cold. 
 "Kiba you stupid--now you've got us all cold!" Shino's remark gained light laughter from his teammates. 
 "That's right,” Kiba replies with a hearty laughter. Because we're going to the hot springs after this mission."
 "Hot springs?" Hinata asked, turning to face Kiba "Where do we get the money for that? All the hot springs in the area are luxurious ones..."
 Konoha’s northern side was known for it’s winter hot springs. A luxurious view of the mountains as you aid your body in the springs. The nearest one was renowned and popular among ninjas, claiming that the water had rejuvenating properties and could make one younger.
 "That. Is something I can deal with." Kiba replies, in his leader-esque voice. 
 "And how would that be?" Shino is suspicious, but he seems to already know what Kiba is up to.
 "You see...These criminals we're after are pretty bad, yeah? Extortion and all that. So when I wrang them up, I happen to find pouches of coins nearby."
There is a lot to be questioned from the word “happen to find”.
 "Their pouches are awfully thick, stealing more profit than the ones they took from this village from God knows where. This is clearly our jackpot."
 "Kiba-kun... I don't think that's allowed..."
 "It is," He replies, sitting up, "We can return most of the money back, take a small fraction of it as added bonus. Don’t underestimate the Inuzuka’s Puppy Eyes Jutsu! Now, if we leave before they wake up, it’ll be in the bag!" 
 The three of them looked at each other. Nodded. And off they went, finishing affairs with the village chief and storming out of the village. This wasn't the first time Team 8 commited petty crimes, but getting away with it is part of a shinobi's skillset. Or so Kiba thinks.
 Shino never thought winter could make him feel so giddy. He should have been freezing to death, especially when Hinata was borrowing his longcoat. But the andrenaline from Kiba's mischief was infectious, and he was unexpectedly more riled up than usual. Hinata too, was under the adrenaline rush. 
 If the old Shino saw him now, he’d berate him for being so loose. For willingly participate in childish mischief, during a mission, nonetheless. Oh, but Shino couldn’t care less for formalities that day! He’d brush the conduct as “misdemeanor due to injury” and sleep it off.
 Shino finds that the winter months are more comfortable than they seem. Warm food, hot springs, and a good night's rest with your comrades. He wishes to meet many more winter months with his precious friends, together.
:)
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