#im just finishing off old stuff
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billion trillion ancient wips from my old ipad 😵💫
#my cat broke my apple pencil 😭😭#so I’m using bfs parents they have a rlly nice one and Apple Pencil they rlly just use it for like. taxes and shit idk official stuff???#kinda glad I have an excuse to use another one bc I got it on eBay for $200 LOL the battery lasts like 2 hours 🙄#the self portrait one is like probably 2 years old 😵💫 kinda miss lookin like that but sooo much work and fake eyelashes were makin#my real ones fall out. lol#I had a couple more I wanted to post but 10 image limit 🙄 whateverrrr#wip#even tho im not gonna finish any of these except thinkin about pickin up where I left off on the lae karlach and shadowheart ones >:)#we shall see…#myart#Gandalf big naturals 😍😍#these are all at least 6months old most prob closer to a year tho since I barely drew when I did tattooing. besides drawing tats lol#im freeeeeeee#also always feel free to reblog my wips I don’t mind 😎 I rlly just post bc compliment feel good … and notes feel good.. chasing the dragon#pink tief girl was my farthest playthru I got she was Druid with shadowhalsin throuple >:) she wasn’t fleshed out at all tho. was justplayin#last girl is my cyberpunk girly😍😍 she lowkey looks like Rihanna
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trying to psych myself up to finally do oc refs by doing fandom-related refs instead: volume 1
wanted to update my yuma from whatever tf this au is so he was a bit more unique... takes inspo from a lot of different things while also trying to be its own sorta thing? which is fitting given the au ;)
bonus chibi now that i'm also figuring out how tf to do chibis lol:
#my art lol#synth v yuma#yuma synthv#synth v#synthv fanart#synthesizer v#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#YES I KNOW ITS DIFFERENT but at this rate its the umbrella tag. all vsynth shit goes under there just like on main 😔#sorry for the annoyign watermarks i just dont want this to get stolennn/traced it'll b my joker arc. is2g#like thats never happened to me before as far as i know but now that my art is getting 'better' i begin to get scared that it will happen#if my fanart got stolen i'd def sting a little yeah but not hurt AS bad as if someone stole my original shit. THAT would hurt#one of many reasons why i post less personal oc stuffs. although as mentioned above i AM in an oc mood so i wanna draw em maybe...#and stuff like this is a step to develop a PROPER FUCKING REF STYLE bc i SUCKKKK AT MAKING REFS LOL 😭 BUT I SHOULD GIT GUD#i have a few other refs planned for vocaloid au (i guess???) related shit but they're not done yet. this one was also a wip that i just??#impulsively decided to redo & finish bc i wanted to draw but nothing else i was trying to draw came out right. advantages of many wips#i have SOOO many things i could say abt some of the things that went into this redesign but i dont wanna come off as pretentious 😔💔#obviously it was primarily inspired by the vimalion yuma design but. there's moreeee that i can't explain here bc tag limits and im shy#i do think i want to try and be more intentional with my character designs now so i'm seeing how that goes as i redesign some old ocs#man though this kind of stuff makes me remember i used to LOVEE doing this stuff. and now its even crazierr given art improvement#uaurhghh my head is buzzing w/. so many thoughts. THIS ALWAYS FUCKING HAPPENS I GET SO MANY IDEAS WHEN IM BUSY GFD#this is actually from today though unlike some other things i might eventually post. that'll make more sense soon#and fuckkk i forgot the chain necklace thing on the chibi yeah but i couldnt get it to look good. whatever
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job hunting...... more like hunting for a reason to live
#txt#to be deleted /#ignore this yapping i had to type it out somewehre or i'll crumple up and die. gonna delete it soon#i fucking wish i'd never gotten long covid and had to quit that cushy office job. everything sucked about it except the pay. i need money .#not hurting on funds too bad for being unemployed n it's not an emergency yet but AUGH. i have student loans to pay#i had a good interview on the 7th and haven't heard back yet. idk what to do so i've been applying to other stuff as well jsut in case#and i reapplied to work retail at a place i used to work and turns out my old account is still active so im being fucking deadnamed#despite that awful fucking name not even being my legal name anymore. so im automatically outed. fml#trying to make the art stuff work is like pulling teeth too im so burnt out i just.. wanna back out off the comms i haven't finished yet;;;#gotta make a fursuit head for someone and . fuck my life i don't want to do it i can't make myself im so. UGH
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Birthday gift i made for my good friend @anemonet! My first time using clay that needs to be put in the oven to harden and I will say it was way more fun than just your usual air drying clay, would definitely recommend more people to try it once if possible.
#fiskart#clay sculpting#the box is just an old jewelry box that i already had which coincedentally was pink so that was amazing#join in with the paper stars i ended up just felly enjoying the finished look off it and im so proud#dont know if i will be making more in clay again but its very temping after such a good results#dont look too closely at it tho the clay absorbed a lot of dust and stuff so its not perfectly clean but shhhhhh#bonus animal crossing stamps i made simiultaniusly but had nothing to do with the actual gift itself but i like the picture of them toghter
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#personal#headmate shenanigans#z: It appears that with your return home you've picked up some old Habits.#z: It's not a Bad Thing. But i worry.#i: :/#z: Yeah You're Fucked. Sorry.#j: i just want to finish stuff. i feel like getting organized to the fullest is a good start#j: being organized makes me feel good :)#z: It is good to be organized. Just try not to Over Do Everything.#z: You've Already Broke Once.#j: wait thats not fair it wasnt just meee#i: well 🥰 what can i say its been a while since i felt so much pain!!#z: Yeah its Not Surprising. This is a Terrible Place for You Specifically. I fear More Painful Nights are coming..#z: ugh. not to mention the coming months....#z: We will make it work.#j: I am just going to bury myself in work until the time passes by so fast were happy again#z: And Thats Whats Concerning the Most... Sigh.#j: im going to ginish the ref. i really want to show off to be honest and relate to the other DID OSDD friends#z: Don't get hurt if No One gives you Attention on it okay? i know that discourages you a little.#z: over time discouragement after discouragement you feed the... what the hell are Calling them. These Emotion Demons.#okay time for beb#zzzz
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I'm really nervous for the third sonic movie. not for anything about the movie itself but for the fact that every single Scu thing (with the exception of drone home maybe?) Has been shortly preceded and/or followed by some kind of personal social tragedy.
And it's really weird cuz it started me writing and without that I wouldn't have met most of my current friends. But at the same time im associating it with the loss of multiple relationships.
Am I an overly anxious person that catastrophises every little thing? Yes. Am I superstitious? not really. But the fact that this keeps happening, And i keep ending up upset near an scu release due to social issues is getting really really freaky and almost makes it seem like there is something weird going on. The storyteller in me wants to call it like a deal, it got me into the sonic franchise and so many good things, but the trade off is ill feel hurt and loose something each time something in that universe comes out.
#night's nonsense#god ive been so negative the last week or so. Sorry about that#i just feel like so many things are getting worse and the better things are vanishing#like i checked out some old games i used to play on my ipad and now they got adds every other minute and are super stingy with in game stuf#all a ploy so you get frustrated and buy stuff of course. But it sucks that it didn't used to be like that#they're silly dumb games and now theyre all money money money#sucks#ive been trying to pull myself out of this but each time i get progress i just get knocked back down again#im just so tired at this point#this time last year was much more enjoyable#low key wanna skip to the end of this year.#But what would be the point of that? its not like a new calendar year automatically means things are different.#They're all days and who knows what they'll contain. Bad? Good? Blessings? tragedy? i dont know at this point.#God i've got so much to rant about from tiny things to massive things#but im definitely becoming a nuisance. There already enough awful in the world. Dont need me being a downer to#Ill try to finish off my tags with somethign nice. For my own sake to#I got visited by seven king parrots today. around now the babies are almost adults and every year the parents bring them to see me#such lovely pretty and sweet birds them. if you haven't seen a picture go search them up.
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guys inanimate insanity is updating again and i kinda dgaf because the hyperfixation died years ago but i just got spoiled (??? i think) for something and ngl its making me kinda intruiged.........these days ive moved on to other things and grown up (which is ironic considering i got into II when i was a little bit over the target age in the first place) but like. should i finish it just to finish it since season 2 is finally wrapping up or nah since idk if i feel like going back to it rn
#meow meows#idk because on one hand i AM curious#but on the other hand. watching things takes energy that i could b using 4 more current interests or things my friends have reccomended#im also teeter tottering on if i'm gonna get sucked back into the osc or not#because on one hand. that took up a huge part of my life and going back to it might reawaken the obsession#but on the other hand i fell off keeping up with ii and bfdi because i naturally lost interest#and then it became too much to catch up with at once for smth i barely cared about anymore#like lightbulb and paintbrush are both gone whats even the point /j#but you see the dilemma; i'm on the fence about a lot#but also like. what do you mean theyre doing a movie. what does that Mean in terms of indie animation#most of all im just nervous about getting invested again tbh#i have other stuff i want to focus on more so like. idk maybe i'll wait until my current special interests subside a little#so theres room for new stuff again. or new old stuff?#idk my nostalgia goggles arent really on for object show stuff yet so maybe i'll finish the series whenever that kicks in#i got into the osc around like 2016 sooooo maybe i'll feel like reminiscing in 2026? to mark an even ten years
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finding out if i remember the no pattern method for sewing doll pants i learnt off an abjd forum when i was 15/16 (so like 2006)
#got the bits cut and one sewn up the j#got the other pinned to sew and then will make adjustments on the seat/joining seam whatever its called#tack them together or sew the first part#then add an extra bit of fabric as waist band and finish the rest of the seat - i have no velcro tho so might just#sew entirely up cause this doll will be able to slip stuff on and off#i talk out that plan of attack like i know what the fuck im doing i am just guessing and hoping it works out okay#i do remember looking up the tutorial years later and finding that the image host they'd used to pist the pictures to the forum#had changed its tos and all old pictures just showed as a text thing
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#;ooc#(i will admit i've been somewhat anxious to be on tumblr here bc i feel like.......sort of a failure in a way)#(i feel like im not producing enough art or fics or edits or memes or gifsets and it stresses me out when its silly!)#(ive been in the sharpe fandom for 7 years now when it was mostly just me and sam so its definitely like oh god. what do i have to show for#it)#(i dont have to /prove/ i love this series by making all these things. i think abt teresa and the sharpe series every goddamn day)#(i can do things at my own pace but lord it takes too long)#(i need to go back and fix my old fics bc i want to fix characterizations- i want to post my current art#(i want to post all my gifsets currently in my drafts)#(i love seeing everyone's stuff on the dash but ive avoided a lot of tumblr so im not ignoring anyone!! just being too mean to myself tbh)#(adhd and chronic fatigue and depression make it all the more difficult but i shouldnt let that stop me)#(in the meantime i finished a mockup of one of teresa's dresses- very excited with how lovely it came out)#(i've also made significant process on my drawings of teresa's outfit lineups!! new and old designs)#(and i just started a piece yesterday that i'm really loving so far- my favorite spanish ladies all together)#(i also have some sharpe and antonia doodles that i was working on...)#(anyways. just wanted to get that off of my chest)#(and also FINALLY started working on three different fics that i've had as ideas for literal YEARS)#(they're not that far in but. PROGRESS!)#(anyways......ignore me sdfsdfgsdf)
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you’re spoiling us so much with this amazing art thank you so much😭❤️❤️
of course my friend !!! thank you all for spoiling me with all the love and support ^^ !
#snap chats#it really does mean a lot and it catches me off guard to an extent#eternally grateful i get to wake up and check my tags or inbox and see lovelies :)#and then things like onslaught cherik mpreg baby. literally no better existence than this one im living#i look forward to spoilin you lot some more this weekend :] !!!#ive got some asks i cant wait to doodle stuff for... alongside some lil things ive had drafted for like a week now#AND THAT OLD MOVIE CHERIK IDEA FUUUCK its so stupid and silly but i cant wait to draw it#that'll be my first priority once i have time ...... just cause its been marinating the longest and ive alluded to it for The Longest#devious to never share it after so long ...#i actually have. two old-movie-cherik things i wanna draw whaaat the hell im neglecting the elderly ....#maybe thatll be my thing this weekend Old People. oh but i wanted to finish a krakoa comic i had drafted....#uhhhhh we'll see what happens. anyways moving on
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Spent my morning editing video footage and im always in my element when I get to do stuff like this!!!
#building my portfolio and revamping some old work#someone i know from my old film group gave me all the projects I completed so im just refining them up!#i've been told i have a talent for filming and editing video!!! i have so much stuff to work on haha 😭#then later i'm gonna do some school work and finish off the first coursework for this unit!
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being a person who loves research is a blessing and a curse
#trying to write a fic. it is very self-indulgent. it is for a ship with 1 other fic.#the film it is from is 40 years old.#i have spent. at least 3 hours in the last two days teying to research the typical setup#of saloons. boarding houses. and inns in the american west in the 1800s.#I've been reading up on mattress history for christ's sake.#i cannot find what i'm looking for.#its not even relevant to the plot it is just window dressing. i have started to consult jstor for articles to clear stuff up.#i am in hell. i have written 1.4k words for this. i have spent several days on this now off and on.#why am i still having a good time.#im browsing fucking JSTOR at 2 AM for details for a fic i haven't even finished. augh.#and yet. it is enjoyable.
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#need to get this out#oh the ideas i am cooking#M would quit the OSI at the start of s6 bc she would be reassigned so she said fuck this .#<- really have been thinking on this SgH personality and whatnot would so fit w her better than like his total character change#like the parental advice . the overstepping . the everything she would own that .#JVS i think would become the new vd in that i think they would just put his head where the BM's head was#and he gets a new frame so hes back to his old self but its slightly taller than how he used to be#torn between idea of R is hired by the OSI to revive him similar to vstein but i like the idea of JVS taking over vd because of what#that adds to TM arching him#i think it would play out like JVS kills VD in that moment and billy as a dr has to choose to save him via replacing VD -> JVS is alive now#world if s6 and s7 had more eps and s6 didnt have to be finished in s7 and then tossed aside bc it really felt like they just had those eps#there to finish off s6#thing to think abt is the weirdness of JVS being alive again and how that affects the world i think the OSI would tell TV to keep it under#wraps for now so he is mostly kept inside the home and it pisses everyone off#my art#i almost feel like i need to tag my rewrite stuff sorry i love the women so much and also dont think brock is more boring than hatred so#im rewriting all that shit
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here is vjenga's uncle (not the chill one). he's full of extra organs and rides a wrym through space. thanksgiving is awkward as hell
#i am in the drawing slump of all time so im just gonna post a bunch of old stuff to try to rip the bandaid off#Svilland#Thrit#finished#body horror#?#to be safe
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Learning Spanish is still fun and exciting I'm making progress. I'm not good at spelling (let alone in english) and the new vocabulary words don't stick long. But it seems doulingo does a good job of reiterating the words over and over and I'm speaking it as I do it. Hoping everything goes well 🙏
Side note: I'm screwing up the save file bs it's still bricking my PC. Will have my coder and I look at it to see what I'm doing wrong. Either I missed a save_game() or saving onto the struct is cost heavy. I don't THINK saving a struct would do that??? It's not writing onto the file so it shouldn't be intensive. >_>
(Context: remaking my game's systems again and switching to my coder's top down engine)
Soy tambièn working on the credits screen and its looking... so cute! I took inspiration from how Shrek 2 did it's credits with the lil manuscript artwork for each section. I gotta format some arrays correctly to my liking (likely going to have to not use a 4 loop for the inside as I'm gonna do a fun spacing thing that requires hard-defined draw_set align) but I should be done with 3/4ths of the main menu screens when that spacing is done! Nice.
I've coded these setting menus like, multiple times each (2-4 times depending on which one) so I can knock these out quick lmao but augh they're a pain to redo each time. (Different save data each time so I can't just copy/paste) I also redesigned the menus and they look sliiiick
#personal stuff#things are going well for me im happy hehe#that said another work day eughhhh ill deaaaal its fine its fine#i have two days off but im visiting my brother tomorrow. SIGH i just wanna cooooode#the save slot is going to take the most work of all the setting screens but maybe not??? i might be able to just import my old code...#we shall see!#anyway my goal is to finish all menus within a week or two
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still thinking about how my friend said my dad looked like a yakuza last night like 😭😭 ??
#snap chats#i was showing her a pic i took of him when i saw him last month and she was just like#'oh he looks like a yakuza guy' HUH ??? like he is as tall as a typical rgg chara and ik i joke bout my dad lookin like daigo--#NO BUT THEN I SHOW HER A PIC /OF/ DAIGO AND SHES LIKE 'i dont see it' ?????????? LIKE SURE MY DADS BALD BUT#THAT THE CLOSEST COMPARISON you mkae no sense girl#its so funny she thinks my life revolves around yakuza And It Does but its so funny when she tries to equate stuff to it#like that event i went to last night was an ornament painting one and she was like#'oh why dont you make a yakuza ornament :) like uhhh arakawa and uhhhh that other guy'#FIRST OFF SHE STILL DOESNT REMEMBER SAWASHRIOVELKRVEJ BUT ALSO WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN#i mean lowkey in retrospect i could have made an arakawa family ornament but not the point#the point is my life isnt JUST YAKUZA KAYLA SHUT UP ????? LOL#i appreciate it tho. shes trying. /would be great if we finished y7 one day/#on that note. can i share the absolute joy i felt last night#like i said her favorite streamer's name is joe but we were hanging with a friend who didnt know about This Joe Guy#and so when my friend started talking about him the other friend was earnestly just 'who's joe'#and i have never felt such joy in saying 'joe mama' I HAD BEEN WAITING MY ENTIRE LIFE FOR THAT MOMENT#ITS LIKE WHEN I GOT UPDOG TO WORK ON MY OLD FRIEND LIKE PLEAAASE I DONT CARE IF ITS A DUMB JOKE#IM DUMB AND I LOVE DUMB JOKES i was so happy. the purest joy i felt ever#ok bye i guess i should get ready for class
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