#im just feeling like theres no options right now and im freaking out | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thebestofoneshots · 1 year ago

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WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED WHEN YOU SAID I WAS A SLY FOX!?!??? GOD I LOVE THIS STORY AND THAT JUST PROVES SO MUCH THAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT!!!! IM LITERALLY SCREAMING!!!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! AND THE COVER FOR THE BOOK?!?!? ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!!! ITS SO PRETTY!!! BUT ALSO I DIVED DEEPER LIKE YOU SAID I NOTICED SOME HIDDEN CLUES!!!

ok so first of all right off the bat i noticed the little fox on the bottom! but also above that is “A labyrinth of lost souls” (now i know this might be reaching but idk!) so i looked up “a labyrinth of lost souls” and immediately got a bunch of links talking about assassins creed! and i quickly read over one of the links and saw that there’s a ring involved?!?!? and i immediately thought of the ring that y/n got from her mother! but i also saw there’s another game called wizardry: labyrinth of lost souls! so that could also be what you’re talking about!!! idk if either of those are relevant but for now this is just a quick rundown of what i can gather right now!

ok next are the the little moons in the top corners with the woman sitting in them! idk what meaning you have behind them rn but what i got from them is the fact that they are not full moons and she’s sitting inside of them while it kids looks like the moon is curving into her in a way? like trying to reach to her? idk again just the vibe i’m getting! ALSO THERES STARS IN THE MOON!!! WOLFSTAR!!! not only are there stars in the moon but there’s a single star outside of the moon but also in it? with the woman! it almost looks like the woman is sitting inside the moon admiring the star!!! idk!

MOVING ON BECAUSE THIS ISNT A DEEP DIVE JUST WHAT I CAN GATHER NOW!! I WILL DO A DEEP DIVE LATER!!! OK THE CONSTELLATIONS!!! I NOTICE THREE OF THEM AND I IMMEDIATELY LOOKED UP SIRIUS’ CONSTELLATION!!! AND WHAT DID I FIND?!?!??? THATS RIGHT CANIS MAJOR!!! THAT LOOKS LIKE A DOG!!! WHICH HAS SIRIUS’ CONSTELLATION IN IT!!! and where do i see a dog like constellation?!?!? ON THE LEFT OF THE COVER!!!

i believe the constellation in the middle is cassiopeia but i could be wrong. i don’t know for sure i looked up the story and don’t see how it fits in right now but maybe later in the story? hmmm

i can’t figure out what the one on the right is but hopefully i will find out soon!!! like i said this is just be briefly looking at the cover because i got so excited and couldn’t wait!!!

OK FOR NOW THATS ALL IM GONNA TALK ABOUT I WILL FIND MORE THINGS LATER!!! BUT OMG THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!!! TO LIKE LOOK FOR LITTLE DETAILS!!! ALSO THE WHOLE PRIZE THING?!?!??? I SCREAMED OMG!!! I WOULD ACTUALLY KILL TO BE A CHARACTER IN YOUR STORY!!! ITS LITERALLY AMAZING!!!! AND I HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO SAY BUT I NEED TO GET TO BED BUT JUST KNOW IM IN LOVE WITH YOUR WRITING AND EVERYTHING YOU DO ITS AMAZING!!!!

OK LOVE YA BYE!!!!

Tinny little fun fact so you don’t rack your brain over this one: Labyrinth of Souls was actually my second top option for naming Gilded Constellations, I wanted it to have a very David Bowie-esque vibe which is why Labyrinth (literally from the movie The Labyrinth, was just perfect, but I felt it was too corny (especially when the first iteration was Labyrinth of Hearts) that I went for Gilded Constellations instead.

Gilded being inspired by Golden Years from Bowie, and constellations because our babies are our moon and stars. In Spanish we have a word that’s “Astros” which roughly translates to “all the things in the sky” but there is no cool version of it in English so constellations it was in the end.

Aaaalso, theories are so freaking fun, I thought I’d let you guys run with them, so I’m helping you recruit some of my other readers, especially the ones that always approach me with theories since I feel like you could have lots of fun together theorizing over the cover: @moonyunebi @starchaser-lily @blacksgarden @loving-and-dreaming @imdoingbetternow (no pressure btw)

Lovelies, this is a follow up to this post, and I’m also adding the cover here again for your convenience ♡

But in short, I was telling Comet that I had designed this cover and that is just as filled with easter eggs, foreshadowing and secrets, as the story itself… So you may or may not find clues for the story here ☆

Also taking this chance to invite everyone who has not sent questions for the future Q&A, to send as many as you want ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

Lastly, there will be a mini contest later on, so Comet will not be the only one receiving a price, stay tuned, and send in all your theories…

Ps, That’s not Cassiopeia, perhaps you should look closer to where the swans swim…

Ps2, thanks for the rose and love kit, you’re lovely ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹

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raisinchallah · 1 year ago

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i dont get how people say u are more free and have more agency as an adult like damn as a teen there was at least the idea that people wanted to keep me from falling thru the cracks and no matter how many times i failed classes and shit there were like other options people who wanted to push me to finish high school but its like now trying to get a job which is theoretically the reason u want to graduate etc its like im just running around begging for someone to take pity on me and hire me but idk i just cannot seem to play the correct social games they can see right thru me and know its a whole fake persona idk i just feel so trapped and afraid honestly like im running out of time and theres literally nothing to keep me from hitting the bottom theres like so little i can do with my life at this point where is this freedom of adulthood i cannot make friends people seem to universally regard me as a freak at this point like there was some level of pity or that i seemed low key or mature as a teen that at least made adults want to help me out but thats all gone and its genuinely terrifying how the only way to survive is if people like you..

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walnutcookie · 9 months ago

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hello there!! found you a few minutes ago, yes, but I have already fallen in love with your tsp x crob au

may I ask for more on roguefort specifically? they are my favourite out of the bunch and I do find them to be very interesting and your au version of them is also very intriguing to me. I hope you are having a relatively alright day, feel free to answe this whenever you want.

AWW THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! ive had a pretty good day so far, just a bit tired right now, so i hope this is somewhat comprehensible GHGZJDBF

hmmm ,,, im not really sure what else to say since i said most of it in the other post, i may be repeating myself but im just gonna talk abt them GSHDBFJ

Id say that theyre probably storykeepers favorite stanley. she is very annoyed when walnut keeps getting off track and cappu refuses to do anything she asks him to do (and soon becomes plain bored of almond because he does things right too often) but roquefort? what a specimen!

they dont disobey out of curiosity or out of spite, they just,,, do things. Storykeeper wants to study them under a microscope. they always manage to be completely unpredictable. absolutely no pattern in their behavior. Theyll take the first few doors, then take a turn, and then find another way that they werent even meant to be able to go ?

(also i should add that theres not a specific amount of "endings" the stanleys can get in this au, its kind of just. Do whatever they want. storykeeper creates new rooms and scenarios for them that arent from the game and theyre able to do things that you cant usually do in tsp because if it was just them doing all the regular endings it wouldnt be as fun‼️ they can make the same choices but they can also do much more than that :] )

SPEAKING OF WHICH. i think that storykeeper does that a lot. Create new rooms and such just to see what roque will do. What option they will choose, or rather what unintended option :]c Will they do nothing? will they somehow do a combination of everything? Who knows!!!!!

although. Roque likes to act confident and smug but they are NOT. they are very uneasy being in this office, having everything loop over and over, being observed and used as a little plaything and a source of entertainment. They physically cannot protest but if they could they would not. theyre just filled with this increasing dread ESPECIALLY when that fucking bucket comes around. when it wont stop FOLLOWING THEM‼️‼️ that bucket. oohhhh that bucket. its stalking them its lurking in the shadows its listening behind every door, watching, watching their every move.... (storykeeper keeps moving it and then playing dumb because its funny to watch them silently freak out. Or does she ?)

#🎉 asks #🎉 rambles

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sugar-omi · 1 year ago

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HI IM AN INSANE BAXSTAN AND SWIFTIE AND UR RYT MR PERFECTLY FINE HAS IMMENSE BAXMC POTENTIAL

while i think its not Unlikely for mc to forgive baxter within the span of the dlc, i DO think theyre not given enough options to feel complicated abt it. u pretty much have to decide how to feel from the start, and arent given a lot of room to change ur mind. For example, my mc Anne is a very forgiving person, especially with bax bc she understands his need to be entertaining & liked. HOWEVER she starts the dlc off thinking "ok if hes gonna be distant i can do that" but then when he jokes with xavier shes like "well im CONFUSED now and i need answers" and shes irritated, but also still likes him. after the bowling she hugs him and is still like confused, but again likes him still. by the time shes baking with him, shes both confused and endeared with him but is kinda harsh with him, even when hes apologizing at the wedding.

All this to say; its not UNREALISTIC mc would forgive in that timespan, its just the lack of complexity mc is or is not afforded that makes it feel too fast. additionally, while u do get to be mad, theres no real moderation for it, and no way to be like "this is a start, but it will take time to trust him fully again". so yeah, it feels rushed and personally i think it was rushed to be released due to whatever reasons (either not caring abt baxter or wanting to work on olnf, who knows)

anyway, i would go on about baxters dlc and its shortcomings for hours if given a chance so for now ill just call it here <3 signed, 🌸Anon

YES YES I AGREE

i do think there was a lotta effort n good stuff but into baxter, and i also havent replayed it since they updated some stuff so maybe its a bit better since release

but i do agree i think the emotional range is very limited its either "idc anymore", "im mad", "i look back fondly", "im pretty sad abt it", n all that stuff n its just pretty straight forward in whatever you choose

i think step 4 is a bit short? maybe?

BUT I ALSO THINK ITS PRETTY FLESHED OUT, now i haven't acted professional w baxter, i tried but i just didnt have time to go through w the route. but there are options!!! its just one and done i think so its kinda like, you cant express How conflicted you are

bc realistically id be so sad but i also hold a grudge so id be like "yeah you say you love me n all that n i GET IT but also im scared"

BUT I ALSO THINK ITS BC WE ARE PLAYING IT WITH SEVERAL HOURS??? like MC has 5 years to get through the emotions, but the time between him saying "see you never!!!" and "omg hi, i miss u but u dont need me but i miss u?!?!!?!" is like less than 5 minutes so.....

LITERALLY I WAS PLAYING IT THE FIRST TIME N I WAS LIKE "you bastard, fuck you. i hate you. stfu. YOURE SO CUTE. you ASSHOLE. i am going to KISS YOU. i want to slap you so fucking bad right now"

like pls i was freaking out during my first playthru

i think baxter's dlc was more focused on the "i am hurt" and "i have XYZ reasons for being like this" and it goes through all that and its less "lets work through your complex feelings/this is how you reacted when we met again bc you felt/feel very conflicted and now we will work thru it"

BAXTER DLC IS LITERALLY "I CAN FIX HIM" OMFG

but honestly i like the baxter dlc better than the derek dlc bc i HATED how "i can do everything by myself!!!!" derek was in step 2 and how sibling focused it was, i man i still loved it of course but i wish derek n mc had more 1 on 1 time

and then in step 4 it was like "i missed out on everything, i feel shitty n im sorry!" and mc just.... idk maybe i need to play it again but i was still mad derek ghosted for a whole step n then it was still very family focused, and while i loved that as well

i just wanted more derek by himself, i wanted to pamper him n love him n just yk

idk, all the dlc's are so good but i do think the forgiveness is very quick which makes sense bc they're making ol2 but man, i would love if it was just double the length or half that to just flesh it out some bc i wanted some sweet moments w the boys as well :(((

ANYWAY YES I DO AGREE ITS NOT UNREALISTIC

just unrealistic for ppl like me who take 2-3 years to get over wtf happened and another 2 to actually settle in my decision to forgive 😂😂 but even then, if i had 5 years to get over it i could prbly forgive him after a lot of crying and a bit of screaming LMAO

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cattyanon · 2 years ago

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Do you got any more Scrapnik Sonic details to share?

Yes actually! I had thought about making a post about something so may as well share it with this ask.

So theres actually a 3rd reason I had kept secret as to why Scrapnik Sonic panics so much upon waking up. But when I thought about it I realized there wasnt much of a point as I planned on just using it in the fic description. So why keep it a secret at that point?

Anyways with that being said... Scrapnik Sonic has a slightly damaged memory drive. It's why he doesn't remember what happened before he woke up. Now I haven't solidified what he last remembers but I know its at least not much of what led up to him being roboticized, if anything at all.

I'm trying to think of which option has more angst potential and I think I'm leaning towards him remembering just a little of the buildup.

On one hand, if he doesn't remember any of the buildup then it'll be much more confusing for him when he wakes up. Cause then the last thing he remembers is just a normal day with Tails so then how the hell did he get wherever he is??

On the other hand, if he does remember a little of the buildup I think he'd be more likely to panic. That's because in this scenario the last thing he'd remember is him and Tails planning to go on an Eggman related mission. So by that logic whatever the hell is going on might be related to the mission they were planning. I mean he probably just doesn't remember what happened last cause he somehow hit his head... right?

And before anyone asks, this isn't the only thing he forgets. It's just the most important/relevant one.

I feel so bad for Sonic. There's gonna be so many reasons for him to freak out when he first wakes up.

Oh yeah, and about Sigma and his assumptions about Scrapnik Sonic's origins. Sigma is aware of the damaged memory drive which only further makes him certain about his theory.

I'm debating if I wanna share Sigma's theory yet since it has to do with a certain part of Scrapnik Sonic's design. Hnnnnn. It's so tempting! But I think Im gonna just save it for the design reveal. Maybe. We'll see how long it takes for me to get the design out and if I can keep it in for that long. Sorry to tease you like this...

#Sonic #Scrapnik Sonic AU #Sonic au #Scrapnik Island #Sonic the hedgehog #Scrapnic

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thesugarhole · 1 year ago

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you know, ive read it twice now, but im still not sure where the leap in logic in "coffee drops, burns servers, annet freaks out and exterminates most of the human race... engie drops bombs finishing it off?"

it would have made heaps more sense to direct the bombs where the skeleton of the structure is to permanently wipe her and whoever survived her fear starts life over. but no he dropped them all over the city.

of course that, if you did so you wouldnt have a story. bombing one, maybe 2 buildings is not equivalent to bombing a city after all (that i think is also an entire planet im not sure whats going on in romac geography)

the paragraphs explaining how she turned to use people as servers and adapters and whatnot and she was technically everywhere to justify it... well, it doesn't really

just like in irl the actual internet is kept in place by the same 4 guys in Antarctica or whatever, and if they stop we all stop, there had to be a central nervous system to that beast (no matter how much the author/the story wants to deny it this is fundamentally how technology works). the gdir hqs if you will. bomb just that and be done with it. traces of her living on in the survivors collective memory would turn her into an old god or something but thats it. all wireless towers and microwaves would shut off without the main, sooner or later (could be 1 month could be 890 years as the surviving stupid object AIs have shown but it WOULD end, all things do.)

maybe he wanted her to stay alive bc he stil loved her or for the fuck around find out parable (wanted her to suffer) idk

also i was gonna be unnecessarily mean about something else here but then my critical reading comprehension skills kicked in so theres some resolution: ij the past i always read engie as a bit of an hipocrite and was going down that road again because of his self pitying "i doomed the world I'm gonna kill it off" and then not placing himself directly under one of those nukes to die along with it. with guilt that heavy i can imagine an "honorable" thought to have is "im gonna kill myself to make up for it", and was surprised not once it crossed his monologue

but the thing is, right. humans want to survive. even the most suicidal ones. disclaimer speaking from experience but something that actually kickstarted my recovery out of the suicide hell hole was reading something like "suicidal people dont hate being alive, they hate the situation theyve found themselves in and ending it all together looks like the only viable solution". no matter how horrid he feels i can see engie having just about enough ego to realize this and deciding quick suicide isnt an option, slow suicide by rotting inside a bunker all alone is. if any of this makes sense i guess

edit: "a city thats also an entire planet not sure whats going on in romac geography" watch my previous confusion being hand waved again as oh its not earth its a hollowed out earth like and her core is deep within and only the nuclear/electric bombs all over could eradicate most of the core and most of people-terminals

raaaaauuuugh i want to pull my fucking hair out

#reading romac #sugar.txt

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roguestarsailor · 2 years ago

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wow i think eras tour live stream cured my depression!! i mean seriously. i went over to the bday girl party and it wasnt just a lot of ppl it was the usual group and i felt less like i didn’t belong and i actually wasnt freaking out about the guy. actually i wasnt uncomfortable at all and it was wonderful. idk what happened but i feel like i see clearer now. he IS just a regular guy and just being nice to me and i blew it up in my brain. but wow hanging out today changed it. i even know his ex’s name and a lot of things about her and i didn’t spiral. i saw how he close he is w her but i also see how hes close w the rest of the group too.

and him. i dont want him anymore. i dont want to steal him away and keep him in a pocket. i dont want to murder all the girls he surrounds himself w and more. i really dont. i truly don’t have much in common and we don’t have good conversations nor do we know how to joke with each other. and quite frankly he’s just back to regular guyy and not like hANDSOMEST guy i’ve ever met in my entire life. wow. this feels insane. i guess i’ve shed enough tears eh? maybe that intense cry i had at 3 am on monday was enough to knock me to normal again??? even if we dated it’d be NOTHINNG. i wouldnt be happy and i can’t believe i am at this point.

the only alarming thing i learned about his ex is that she HAS a line down her back......and i feel super unoriginal. i really love the idea of a thin line tattooed down my back to go with my line around my arm but ugh i can’t believe its not original at all. (if it was ever an option) i would never date him because i know that about his ex lol.

im wondering what changed. maybe next time i feel anxious and lusting after a guy i should put on something more dressy to feel confident. or maybe after talking to my friends and getting their perspective, i feel more validated about my initial feelings. also knowing if i am uncomfortable I can leave. mayybe it’s knowing that i can make friends and *i* can decide who i let into my life rather than someone else letting me in their lives. idk what changed but i feel so much more level headed now.

and i feel more hopeful. maybe i will get my first kiss soon. maybe i’ll meet someone who will light up my world (and not make me a rolling ball of jealousy and insecurity like this poor guy i projected intensely onto) and just--fantastic to talk to and be as witty as Nora and Charlie in Book Lovers. idk, i think i can find him. i have a lot in common w a lot of ppl here already so theres bound to be someone eventually (right??? [panicked]). i think i’ll spend some time with myself and also be firm about my life choices and what feels right to *me*.

#amandathoughts #im FINALLY CLEAAN #cue clean by taylor swift #im going to be alright!!#wow

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attex · 2 years ago

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do you have a preferred favorite method of pk torture or do you just want to do anything you could possibly think of

is there one singular thing that you want to do most or consider/think of most, or is it a free for all for whatever you're in the mood for, an all you can eat buffet of options?

if there were a table full of weapons of average and unconventional variety ranging from guns, to knives, to sharp scalpels and dull blades, scissors, cheese graters, potato peelers, toothpicks and pencils, staplers and syringes, or simply your bare hands, and a pitifully present pale king was quivering before you, what would you do? be slow and merciless? or quick and right to the messy parts? a bit of both? play with his mind until he begs for death?

would you stop at simple weapons or would you use other methods? Would you use anything to promote illness, disease, or infection? With that, would you keep him alive to let him deal with festering wounds and parasites? would you give him burning or freezing pain? torture of other sensory and cognitive functions? could you keep him in a room and leave him alone forever in solitary darkness and watch as he loses his mind? are you in favor of something that takes sweet time, until he becomes a zombie of a being he used to be?

this is a deep question here, this king of bugs provokes curious thought for torture. what do you see most fit for him, as if you were a personally assigned demon to torture him for all eternity, over and over, what would his inescapable fate be?

okay before i elaborate , i love this ask so much i want to hang it on my wall .

this is all assuming hes somehow human sized or im bug sized to compensate :^)

dont think i have a favorite torture method . all that matters to me is that he suffers as much as possible

i always like the torture methods that promote a slow painful agony, to make sure he suffers as much as possible . the idea is to completely mentally destroy him from how much pain he is going through .

and yes, something that promoted infections and diseases is a go-to . there is literally nothing better than causing an infected wound that collapses into itself which basically prolongs the torture just by existing .

i have consistently mentioned the idea of peeling off the plates of his exoskeleton piece by piece, agonizingly removing other tissue along with it every now and then for some flavor .

i want to shove things in his eye sockets, more of a forcing them in kinda way, its best if i tilt him upside down stretching him out . leaving him like that for a good while with things in his eye sockets would be pretty good I'd say . adds character

the best thing about guns is that it can cause a mini explosion , and also gunpowder is versatile . i consistently think about blowing his mouth off or even his whole head completrly destroyed . it would be pretty nice to have the fresh shrapnel go everywhere mostly

the idea of having him incapable of escaping and putting him in a completely empty dark room sounds good but considering hes a weird little bug freak i feel like it would be difficult to get him to be mentally fucked up from such a thing, same applies to putting him in a tight space... normally id love it but he might he immune to this

so i really like the idea of him overworking himself to a lack of sleep already, but imagining how he wishes to rest so badly kinda gets me going . this is mostly outside of the torture scenario bcz even if i made him not fall asleep ever its just not the same so im mentioning it

another good thing is having him be slightly poisoned or drugged at all times . if i was eternally torturing him i would constantly make him experience the horrific things substances can show him , yknow how fucking awful something like a bad drug trip can be . theres so many options !! and the best part is that its all just his own mind creating its own hell !!! that is amazing is it not !? aside from that its best for him to be constantly feeling sickly ill , whether from the infections and wounds he suffered beforehand or due to me giving him mercury poisoning or something ?

not sure how possible it is, but, have him constantly be reminded of how much of a failure he is . always wave around the fact that he fucked up . make him feel miserable more than he already does and fuck him up into completely believing no matter what he does or did hes a useless fucking thing

something fun is to inject highly corrosive things into him, have him be melted from the inside . ideal if it turns his insides into soup slowly and agonizingly and he realizes his organs are collapsing into a nasty sizzling mush . points for if he throws up his internals .

yknow when i imagine a pk torture scenario i mostly imagine just being cruel as fuck to him in general . like aggressively shoving him and forcing him around, holding by the horns and bending his body n whatnot . its the little things that make it count and its important af to me because if i cant even touch him violently with the intent of painful death whats the point ? there is a lot of enjoyment in him being in distress overall and anything to enhance that is great <3 i want to get horribly up close right before i crush one of his limbs under a heavy blunt object . its the labored breathing and suppressed twitching from the pain that makes it . what i want to do is to give him a tight hug and then bash his head in . hold his hands and disembowel him . hold his face gently and shove a huge plank of wood in his eye .

his inescapable fate at my hands is quite blurry, i like change and i like trying new things . i think there is always something different and fun to embrace . so he is fucked

#hexatxt #ask #anonymous #gore #torture

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nuclearnerves · 3 years ago

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INCOMING VAMPIRE AU THOUGHTS

Don't mind me I'm finally getting the ideas I had on this shit out so I can actually go forward with developing it as an AU. It's my usual mixup of fps protags, Gordon Guy and John, but I'm starting with Gordon as the Vampire and Guy as the Vampire Hunter.

absolute beast of a wall of text under the cut

What If Being A Vampire Literally Sucks All The Time Forever like chronic pain sucks. like THAT level of sucks. Like Here's what I was thinking of. Being a vampire isn't just "being alive forever but you need to drink human blood" It's like Oh man I have some lore you look at vampires and their main thing is that they're blood suckers right so lets start with a corpse dead body. cadaver. no longer with us. just some rotting meat. The brain needs oxygen as fuel. The blood supplies the oxygen through blood. The blood is pumped through the heart. The blood is made by your bone marrow. You die. Your heart stops beating Blood stops pumping Brain no longer has oxygen to think marrow stops making blood thats standard! Now, becoming undead, as a vampire, is a little more complicated. The long and short of it is: your body is FIGHTING ACTIVELY to be alive against all odds and wins every time (immortality), but it hurts the whole way

I have the gist of it. It's like. Your heart stops. By all means, you should be dead. but the magic kicks in, and you're still thinking. Your brain is still sending signals to your muscles to move. But using what oxygen to move? whats burning in you? You don't know but you know it's just enough to get to your next meal. So you ferociously eat something, and then find you can't swallow. You can't make saliva. You barely have the energy to chew, and once you DO get something in your stomach, it immediately comes back up. Why can't you feel your pulse? What's going on? You're out of options so you figure you might as well just lie down and die. You're too tired to keep going anyway. So you do, you lie down, and you close your eyes, and you quietly hope that death is as peaceful as sleep. You realize you've actually been moving around without breathing, which makes sense because you can barely flex your diaphragm for more than a shaky wheeze. How are you thinking with such little oxygen? But as you fade from consciousness, you can feel something in you, and it's so upset, it's crying, it's filled with grief, and you instantly can tell it's your skeleton. It's your bones. You're distraught down to your marrow. You're dying. You're dying! Your heart stopped and you have no more blood! You need blood! You need blood to move! To breathe! To think! You try to breath deep again for the voices in your bones, trying to comfort them, to sooth them with the repetitive motion in your lungs, trying to fill yourself with anything but grief, but they keep wailing. We make the blood, our creation, our child, what we put all of our work into is gone! gone! gone! We need it back! Anything! All of it! Find it! Bring it back to us! We're hungry! WE'RE HUNGRY!

and once you find yourself too exhausted to listen, to think, how badly you wish just to die already to cease hearing this wailing, you find your body moving without you. And it's hungry and it's searching and it's crawling on all fours and it misses its beautiful red life that made it feel so full before and it needs it back, and the next thing you know you're desperately grabbing anything with blood in it and shoving it in your mouth in a desperate attempt to sooth this cry for life, you don't want to die, you don't want to die, you worked so hard to keep up this body and craft it and LIVE with it and you're not going to go, and even when you try, even when you try to lay down and die, your body refuses, it takes the reigns, and it keeps up the work itself with or without your help. And it's not until your stomach is full and your teeth are stained and you feel a pulsating burning in your bones that you snap back awake, completely conscious, just fine. You're lucid, you don't feel any more pain. Everything around you is dead and drained and messy and your heart still isn't beating. but you can breathe now and holy shit you guess you literally need to kill to survive and the less you eat and the more you starve yourself the worse it gets when your body finally decides to take recourse.

my idea was like. "the vampires curse is actually stored in the bones, thats why the teeth get so sharp and also theres a connection between blood and bones with the creation via bone marrow" its literally like i was sitting there thinking "no no no, whats it like to be a vampire. what neurosis would you develop. How would you panic? What are common mistakes beginner vampires make" which, by the way, gordon is a beginner vampire

so now you gotta factor, what blood lasts for how long? how long can you go between meals? not only that, but what creatures satisfy the urge? How long can you go avoiding human blood? Does it work like drugs where you develop a resistance to the high, or is it like food where it will keep you moving until you eat again? How the fuck are you gonna get your hands on blood? Can you just eat raw meat? Does that count? and thats where im at lol

OKAY now. now thoughts on beginning scenes of vampire au

So my idea was this Doomguy is a vampire hunter independent and one of his buds says that some freak scared and almost attacked his daughter when she got too close to his old abandoned laboratory up the hill and hes like “he might be… you know… a problem. if you needed a lead” and guys like yeah i fuckin hate the undead ill kill this dude so he busts into old lab space and sees so many dead animals its actually mostly Bones and pelt that hes seeing piles of feathers etc so hes like yeah this is all telltale signs of vampire uhhh hes introduced to gordon SOMEHOW im not totally sure of the details but the working idea i have is guy falls into a trap gordon devised that restrains him suspended in wire or something and gordon like. limps/stumbles into the room and this dude looks haggard he’s breathing heavy, his cheeks are hollow, he’s bug-eyed and shaking while looking at this massive wall of meat in his trap and he bares a bunch of hideous teeth and grits them and looks like hes really struggling with somethin... Like if these dudes don't know each other then Gordon might give in and try to drain Guy, and Guy would absolutely do anything in his power to turn this new vampire into ash, im thinking the inclusion if g-man as a coven leader can fix both issues.

i like the idea of guy falling into gordons trap and gordon thinking about what to do with him before gman shows up and whisks gordon away for a “meeting” while complimenting him on his good work catching the most feared vampire hunter in the country and gman just leaving guy suspended in wires that he has to fight his way out of. Instant situation defuser.

Guy ends up needing to take care of other monsters before going back to Gordon, and he DOES plan to go back to gordon, because no vampire is a good one, especially not one associated with the fucking head of a coven, but next time he sees Gordon, Gordon helps him out of a scrape by attacking and draining a combine who was going to take Guy out or something and escaping before Guy can catch him, or otherwise seeing Gordon do something good with his insane undead powers and like, the third time he meets up with him is when they can actually talk, and Gordons fuckin SO haggard, he’s not even fighting back and he’s even going as far as to say “just make sure theres nothing of me left when you’re done, I don’t want anyone else getting hurt”

Side Note: Guy has a bunch of scarring on his body from dealing with vampires, cops, ghosts, werewolves, anything violent that kills people. I'm playing with the inkling of an idea that he has Divine Blood in him, so that any time something undead bites him or tries to drink his blood, it burns. We'll see.

Side Note 2: now i really like the idea of the combine actually being an organized faction of vampire hunters that are WICKED crooked and exploit people for all their worth in exchange for their “safety” when they kill a vampire They’re essentially loansharks and Guy fucking hates them and hates the name theyve given to vampire hunting

Side Note 3: You've probably noticed that I haven't said anything about John yet! He's in this too. His species is a surprise but I need to get to him later I have an idea for where he came from (Cortana too)

I still need a good reason for Guy to not instantly kill this vampire, if not it's just gonna be "Gordon Freeman escapes the countrys best vampire hunter like a seventh time" every time they meet and they end up being rivals. And it gives Guy enough time to look past the whole "undead monster" thing and start looking at the "Oh this dude figured out how to fight his ridiculous craving for blood in a way more humane than most and is actually staying out of peoples way and keeping to himself. Guess he's not that big of a threat but I still need to keep an eye on him in case he loses it. Turns out he's got a family (Probably Alyx, Eli, Issac and Barney) who's been lookin for him and cares about him as well, don't wanna hurt them". I like the idea of them ending up needing to team up to take out undead together.

And that's what I got so far!!!

#freeguy #gordon freeman #doomguy #vampire au #freeguy117

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help-i-need-a-cool-username · 4 years ago

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Recently saw a tiktok that was like "if you ship [toph and zuko] than you have issues or you see something galaxy brained that i havent" and stumbled upon the concept of aroace Zuko and i concocted this idea ages ago so im posting it now: the epic Toph x Zuko Marriage of Convenience

Okay what you are all thinking of is book 3 Toph and Zuko, which totally dont have romantic chemistry and with the added age difference is prob why no one ever considers this ship. Four years when you're a teenager is a big difference. Four years when you're in your twenties and beyond isnt that big a deal. So they're adults and they've been friends for years at this point.

You also gotta sit back and look at what they are. Toph is the only child to a very rich and very well known Earth Kingdom family. Her family name in general is huge and carries a lot of weight but you also got her own accomplishments: Master Earthbender, the Creator of Metalbending, the Avatar's Earthbending teacher, and shes a war hero. Thats big. And then you got Zuko, who at this point is the Fire Lord. Zuko himself comes from a prominent Fire Nation family, seeing as he's royalty. He's also descended from a Avatar, but i dont think thats all that well known. Zuko is a Master Firebender, the Avatar's Firebending Teacher, and a war hero. On top of being famous both these people have credibility to fall back on.

So what im leaning into here is not exactly a marriage alliance seeing as the Earth Kingdom has its own royalty but its definitely a political move

Anyways Zuko has a lot on his plate, dismantling his dad's empire and all that. When he's nearing 30 the council is all like "you need to find a bride". Zuko writes up his ex-girlfriends and finds out they're either married or he just cant bring himself to trap someone into a marriage with him after knowing how it destroyed his mom. So he's stuck with no one of his own choosing so the council and high up nobles are trying to fix him up and not-so-subtly set him up with their daughters. Half of Team Avatar comes and visits (lets say Toph, Aang, and Sokka) and witness the behind the scenes of all this. They're having tea with Zuko and two people come in at different times and try to casually talk about the marriage thing. Toph can hear things that happen in the hallways too. Zuko is all "noooooooo guys why is this happening to me" and Sokka probably finds it funny but also a little sucky, and Aang probably hates it because "Zuko should marry for love!". And Toph is all "I know right" because she can totally relate. Her parents were looking for matches for her since she was born, and now that shes visiting again they've started back up again. Her and Zuko start swapping match-making stories ("so i come home and this boy and his father are there and my mom is all like 'Toph have you met __'" "I'm in the throne room for a meeting on road construction and this guy derails the whole thing so he can introduce his niece to me"). Later on after Toph has been listening in on the palace for a few days now and shes starting to really feel sorry for Zuko. Sokka just keeps making jokes until Toph snaps at him. Aang is pretty oblivious and probably spends all day at the market looking for souvenirs to bring home for Katara. And one night while Zuko is up late doing paperwork by candle light Toph stops by because her body cant sleep at night sometimes and they get to talking and Toph jokingly throws out "what if we just married each other? Then everyone will get off both our backs!" and they're laughing and after they've calmed down Zuko has a light bulb moment and he's like "wait, that might not be a bad idea". They spend all night working out the details to their hypothetical wedding and a day later decide to actually go through with it. Theres uproar from the council of course because Zuko didnt choose their pick Toph isnt Fire Nation nobility. And then Zuko starts listing all her family's importance and stuff and the council is forced to admit to themselves its not actually a bad idea. Plus marrying Earth Kingdom would make the Fire Lord more relatable to the colonies where theyre having a lot of problems with people of mixed heritage right now. Sokka and Aang hear rumblings of this because palace servants gossip and they're debating wether or not to believe these rumors when they run into Toph and just ask her and shes all like "yeah we're talking about it" and they boys flip out. Aang still maintains that everyone should marry for love but Toph and Zuko won't budge.

Over in the Earth Kingdom Toph's parents are ecstatic because the only better option Toph could marry was Earth Kingdom royalty. They completely endorse it and only argue to not seem like pushovers and when topics revolving money come up (ex. dowery). The Earth King gets in on this because its too good a opportunity to not capitalize on it. The Earth Kingdom is abuzz because a foreign King is marrying one of their own. Everyone is hyped and Team Avatar are the only ones who find the whole situation weird because to them its not a fairytale its their actual friends.

All-in-all they get married in the Fire Nation and the guest list was awful to make but people from all over the world are there. Toph's mother freaks out the whole time because "what if Toph falls down all those steps!" The wedding is mostly all Fire Nation tradition but Toph wears a Earth Kingdom wedding dress because everything is political now. Toph and Zuko have a relatively fun night and Sokka has the time of his life. And their marriage actually really works out for them because they're friends. They make fun of fancy people and rant to each other in the evenings. Toph is still running metal bending schools but either now they have to come to her or she gets stuck with a Fire Nation security team for like 3 months of the year she spends in the Earth Kingdom and she gets flashbacks to her childhood. And Zuko is sometimes all "i miss my wife" and the servants are all "awwww they're so in love" but the truth is he wants to talk sh*t with her and because shes blind he always has to write letters with the interpreter's opinion/gossip in mind. Toph still sneaks out all the time because shes not giving up her independence willy-nilly and is not above pulling the blind card to get out of things, which irritates Zuko sometimes because that means he has to deal with boring meetings by himself. They gaang visits all the time and by the time Republic City rolls around Toph manages to get herself sent as a "ambassador" (her and Sokka have some fun their shared meetings) and then to stay on to help set up the police force, which is a little dicy since shes representing the Fire Nation but also shes teaching only metalbending so its a controversial thing. This also gives Zuko a excuse to visit Republic City more often so he can see everyone since they settled down there.

#hinacu atla #atla #avatar #toph beifong #zuko #zuko x toph #prince zuko #fire lord zuko #avatar the last airbender

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pocketramblr · 4 years ago

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Poll Results

Alright, that’s it, i’m tired of trying to sort the answers so yall just get the big list of all the free response answers to that quiz about ofa. be aware some are less safe for work than others.

memorable ones: OfA Snickerdoodle, I’d Give It To A Cat, So You Know Vore Right?, I’m in Love With Nana, Slicey Blood Oath, and Homoerotic Sword Fight

(My answer above is how I think it did happen, not how I want it to happen.) I personally think something along the lines of a Bruce Banner Jennifer Walker blood transfusion where the OFA holder doesn’t realize they’ve passed it on until later.

a tender kiss. perhaps loving. perhaps they're dying, and i already knew that they loved me, either platonically or otherwise, and we always knew that i'd be next. perhaps they tried so hard to make sure it never happened, and perhaps that tender kiss as an apology as much as it is a gift. sure sucks to be gay i guess

Peacefully? By doing the do and making it a wonderful moment of lovemaking and passing on the future.. If we're in the middle of battle you bet your freaking butt I want them to kiss me dramatically, tell me they love me, and then yeet me away as they turn back to the fight. Ow but relationship goals.

If we're not romantic because I am obsessed with the Duo Holders ship currently, blood works fine. Ingest it or have them pressing a bloody palm into a wound of mine *shrugs* Gotta pass it along somehow

Personally, I'd rather drink blood instead of hair. It feels less gross. But I'd pass it on as hair just to fuck with my successor

Hair or blood eating, but no touchy-touchy or whatever thx.

Probably a vial of blood so it’s easy and over quick

kiss 👉👈

i would like it to be blood from an already opened wound just cause it would probably less weird, ..........but knowing my luck and because irl my sister has attempted to feed me her baby teeth by shoving it to my lips and saying "eat", thats actually how i would get ofa. ( >:/ i have almost eaten at least two teeth this way because i thought she was being nice and giving me candy )

Consider: doing one of those blood oath things where you swear to be BFFs for eternity except now you also get a quirk out of it. But lbr kissing is way more romantic and you’ve made First/Second my new OTP, so I’ll stick with that for them. <3 But also, maybe to make the kiss option more romantic First thought something more along the lines of wishing he could give ~everything he has/all of himself~ to Second which counted as including his quirk, rather than specifically about giving him the power to defeat his brother?

This is going to sound gross but all ways of transferring DNA is. Just work up a sweat and have the other party drink it. It would probably be the best tasting option which is kinda a weird thing to think about. Nvm sweat doesn't contain DNA looked it up but I don't want to delete all of this so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe a scraping of skin cells

Honestly the hair is probably the way I'd want to go. That or blood. Like just swallowing it.

Look, i know realistically it was probably some desparate on-the-brink-of-death "please defeat my brother" thing and oo, magic he gets the quirk. But consider. First's last fight with afo. Second is holding his bleeding body, crying. First gently cups Second's cheek and pulls him into a bloody kiss before dying. Second pulls himself together just long enough to flip off afo, barely resisting the urge to absolutely slaughter him, knowing he would lose. He finds his successor and trains him to the best of his ability, determined to not lose another person he cared for

I mean like dead skin cells probably dont work right? Except hair works so thats not true. So like you totally could lick someone to get OFA. Like could you imagine the whole holding your hand over someones mouth to shut them up but they lick you and they somehow wind up with your quirk, like crazy. What must have been the trial and error with this stuff cause they must have kept passing it inbetween each other to figure out its dna right. How long did it take for them to realize. Like you’re eating breakfast and theres a hair in your food like ew and why am i stronger now. Overall, comedic timing for getting a quirk would be hilarious.

My apprentice lays broken and bloody beneath me as I cradle them in my arms, crying on to an open wound on their face praying the power will be enough to save them

little bit of skin like a hang nail just like put it in a sandwich and dont thing about it

Put it in my coffee.

If I received it from Nana then I would love to have received it via eating her out~ though for passing it on to others I think I would just either spit into their mouths or shove a bleeding finger down their throat until they swallow and then run and get myself killed by AfO while taunting him with "I DON'T HAVE YOUR BROTHER'S QUIRK ANYMORE! SUCK MY NON-EXISTENT DICK YOU LOSER!"

knock me out and just inject the blood. if i have to actively think abt ingesting someone elses dna im gonna yeet myself into the ocean. to pass it on i'll just spit in a cup (or in their mouth) bc im not gonna make someone eat my hair nor is anyone getting my blood

who in their right mind would trust me with a power like ofa 💀afo just looks at me funny the quirk is his. im not a mc for a reason

Sexy battle where I’m the villain, and randomly the hero thinks “I wish I could save you”. Boom I punch them with bloody knuckles and the quirk passes to me. Now the hero has to teach me how to be good again. Also we fall in love.

You know, I always assumed I would head canon it as something romantic until canon proved me wrong But these options are so varied - I had to choose the most Dramatic (tm) one As for my actual answer: a gentle kiss with full consent from both parties

I will bite a holder as a sign of affection. There's probably some dead skin cells in the arm I can swallow by accident. They are used to this and sometimes we switch the quirk around for funsies.

You know, I spent like 10 minutes trying to think of something original here, but knowing my shit luck some bastard would spit in my drink or something and cast upon me the Curse of Bone Breaking and/or.... y’know..... AFO...........

okay this is gonna sound weird but. consider this i marry a very lovely women. we are in much love. we get attacked by evil people because she is a good hero but plot twist. i am secretly her nemisis. the attackers are my minions. i wanted her to protect me because i am very smol but. my comrades were too mean. she is nearly dead. "take this" she says. she kisses me and i am one for all. fuck, i say internally, but i dont tell her. she dies in my arms. i run and become vigilante and take down my once comrades. all is not well. i die unsatisfied. i eventually pass it onto a cat in an alleyway because they are the only one who is with me when i get hit with a back alley sniper

Blood or just like. skin. You could use nail clippers to take a bit off from a really fleshy area, like just under the nail. It's that easy

Spit in my food like an underpaid fast food worker.

i have long hair so that would not be ideal, but blood seems kinda...unsanitary, but i guess it would be better if i was 100% positive i wouldn't pass on some sort of disease. so if that could be ascertained then like a few drops of blood in a glass of water or something and then down the hatch, bam ofa passed on. i know other folks are probably typing some nsfw stuff but just. no. keep it in your pants y'all.

Blood transfusion First, pick a hospital Second, steal all their blood Third, have the previous user donate their blood to that hospital Fourth, get into a major accident and need a blood transfusion near the hospital you robbed Fifth, hope either OfA will only pass onto you bc your the intended recipient, or that no one else needs a blood transfusion Sixth, get the transfusion Seventh, steal all of the previous users blood back Eigth, return all the other stolen blood Ninth, get new identities, this crime leaves DNA everywhere Tenth, die of a blood clot due to incompatible blood types (optional)

okay realistically bleeding into a cut or a drop of blood into water and drinking it would be easiest but like... what if somehow dna could be baked into like a muffin or cookie or something... like i know when cooking with wines and stuff the alcohol cooks away and evaporates out but is that process the same for like blood? like if you baked your blood into a cookie would traces of your dna still be there? basically i want an ofa cookie (snickerdoodle preferably)

no i like my bones

drink a drop of blood. it'd go down easier than hair

Something dramatic and desperate in the heat of battle like blood or something

First of all, I think First passed OfA as he was dying entirely on accident, because Second was badly (though not critically) injured and they'd been sort of dancing around each other's feelings and doubting their own worth, so First, knowing he was dying and that his brother was a petty bitch who would probably kill Second anyway because he knows that First cared about him, kisses Second with blood on his lips and his last thoughts before dying are about how he wants Second to have the strength to survive if his brother comes after him.

If I was given the option of getting OfA, I wouldn't take it. I'm a coward and being given something like that is a death sentence.

If it was forced, probably ingesting the previous users blood, because blood is a lot easier to choke down than hair.

If I already had it and had to pass it on, I would want it to be something suitably dramatic like collapsing on the doorstep of a trusted loved one and explaining with my dying breath who killed me and why and then raising my blood covered hand to their face like I was going to caress their cheek only for them to taste blood. They cry and try to get me take it back and when I finally die they swear vengeance over my slowly cooling corpse.

Pass it on in a non-life threatening scenario where I decide I actually don’t like the weird bone breaking power a random person gave me as they were dying and wish I could pass it to someone else and through a weird set of circumstances end up accidentally cooking some of my own hair into brownies I was making because I shed like a dog and passing it to my new neighbor I came to welcome to the neighborhood.

Either drinking a glass of milk with their saliva (no icky hair taste), or an epic sharing of blood while clasping hands like knights in a noble brotherhood!

not by eating all mights long ass hair thats for sure, why did he give midoriya one of the longest ones he had, he has shorter hair right there on the back of his head. not to mention the fact of like how i would prefer to recieve it or give it away which would be just, fucking sharing a pop or something and swaping it through the backwash??? less nasty than hair and not as weird as the other options for spit which is like straight up spitting in a drink or the other persons mouth outside of kissing. if someone told me i had to eat their hair i would straight up say no thanks, cheers for the fitness glow up tho homie

I want nana 2 kiss me, on.,, the m,,,.."#*(@÷out.h pretty lady.,

Q-tip to the inside of the cheek

Those blood pacts where you slice your hands open and do a little handshake thing. Not very creative, but idk it just appeals to me

Via consumption of blood, babey

I would want it to be with a maybe maybe not homoerotic sword fight in a Wendy's parking lot, preferably while we are both being impaled on each other's swords. The sweet pain of almost dying is a very intense moment to share isn't it?

Sweet love

Hair

If it's someone cute, a kiss. Otherwise I'd probably just swallow a hair with some water.

i'd just like. spit in their water bottle. if thats not enough dna i guess licking a paper cut it is. hair is bad idwa bc it doesn't digest and can get wrapped up in things. and like. im too aroace for kissing and such

Last option, cause first is sexy as hell

okay you know what vore is, right. and you know how blood and organ transfusions work? well...

Not at all, like?? I enjoy being alive and not having my body destroyed thank you. Literally everyone with OfA died young-ish or has suffered debilitating injuries bc of it. Like Midoriya's bones are powder, and we don't even need to go into All Might's medical history. Like thanks but no thanks no freaky dna ingestion 4 me

Had a open cut from a can lid and ofa holder had an open cut. While lamenting about fins a successor.

Blood

Assuming we can bypass the rules of canon, it would be funny as fuck is OFA was passed on by intentional physical contact. So yes, a smooch for First and Second (and Second and Third) but also. Bitchslap of destiny. Nana giving her protege one last hug. All Might ruffles Mido’s hair like a dad to pass it on. I’m sure you get it

Bleeding over an open wound

lil bit of spit in a milkshake.

I hold their hand Platonically but it's summer and we're both sweaty and they're a little loopy and having weird thoughts due to dehydration and heat lmao, literally hanging around anyone for any extended period of time guarantees you accidentally ingest SOME of their dna. Dead skin cells are floating through the air ~constantly~ and if you have a friend I promise you've inhaled their dead skin cells before. Have fun with that knowledge!!

ok so like deffo a kiss, but in canon people get weird biological urges for using their quirks, like bby Toga drinking bird blood. First has had a LOT of "spit in their drink" intrusive thoughts over the years. immediately post first-kiss he is mystified that his intrusive thoughts have disappeared entirely, but then BAM it seems that second has the stockpile now, and with it, a preoccupation with vampire lore

drink from the same water bottle?

“EAT THIS!”

Pass it on by making them lick my arm because that would make them rly uncomfortable, passed to me by spiting in my 20oz Red Bull and then chugging it

#aaaand done #this was going to be like. nicely organized in a couple different ways and i still might #but out of slots for that today so

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ramabear · 3 years ago

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hi this is another one of my rambling “when should i post and how” posts so feel free to keep going while i just get my thoughts down. opinions are welcome lol, i will keep going back and forth on this until i make a decision (or decide to make a new decision)

basically, i really enjoy posting and i have written A Lot in the last year and a half so i want to post more! but the problem is that i told myself not to post anything until i was All Finished with it. that’s part of why i was originally going to wait until september for trustfall posting (because that would be close to a year’s worth of writing on that fic and i expected to at the very least be done with act 3 which coincided with where siaod ends)

but the problem with that is like, even though im cranking out an average of 2k a day (see below picture for 2021′s month averages) i’m not getting through them fast enough.

I have literally 60+ active pieces right now and some of them are at like, 10% finished and some are at like 80% finished. for those 80% ones, its likely that the motivational push i can get from feedback of new readers to the thing will help me finish them. BUT i need to balance that with trustfall! i can’t just drop it and crank out something else entirely (unless i am beat over the head with the words as has happened a few times this year lol)

So, what i have been doing is writing trustfall in the morning, when i have the most time and the most energy to get it done. then in the evenings i’ll pick over other things and work on them or just reread them or whatever.

there’s a lot of stuff im not really interested in posting, (or posting yet) but there’s a lot more that im really really interested in posting but havent started yet bc, well, there’s 10 chapters now but it’s not done yet.

its the it’s not done yet that im getting hung up on i think. i really dont want to leave more fics half done and open ended. its as frustrating to a reader as it is to me and it does make me feel bad. but like

yall, i wrote so goddamn much. i have so much to share and i’m, okay this might be upsetting but man i feel like i’m running out of time and if i dont post them then i wont be able to see reactions to them and its freaking me out this feeling of mortality.

SO. either i post unfinished things and get to them when i get to them and incur the displeasure of readers who know its not finished and want it to be (i also want them finished! let me be clear! i hate giving up on old writing and really only do it if i have to!!!) OR i just hold everything back like i have been and not post at all until it’s done. which just is kind of driving me up the wall! a little bit!! i mean i have this discussion with myself like,,, weekly now! you guys are aware of this, i keep making these fucking posts you’re probably sick of my indecision!

just post, rama, you might say, or don’t post! just make a decision and stick to it! but i can’t. its hard. i want to share but i dont want to disappoint. i’ve done a lot but it’s not enough yet. death waits for us all around the corner, i work a full time job and live pretty much alone so its like. fuck, man. this brings me joy but so much stress and i hate that i can’t just. do what i want and deal with it.

a million words! i wrote a million words last year! many of them i can share! i should just share them! AUGH

so i have a few ideas

1: i can post saturday and sunday (and maybe the occasional wednesday) and just like, keep saturday as trustfall (i have so much there in stock) and sunday is just,,,, well i’d try to do finished things only but theres not enough of those that exist right now. so how would i pick what to work on?

well, option A: I just start at the top of the list and work my way down and yeah, there is a fucking list

option B: which is kind of more fun, is put all the viable options into a spinny wheel and fucking spin the wheel whenever i want to post and just post whatever it lands on (i htink u can edit it after u make it too so i could keep track of which/how m any chapters there are)

2: i can post every saturday but instead of posting every sunday, each partially finished fic gets an assigned day of the month and, on that day every month, i’d post another chapter for that fic. then i can kind of space them out and have like, up to 24/23 slots (not counting saturdays? or 30-31?) god this option is way too complicated never mind what a terrible option

i like the wheel one a lot i think it would be fun

its definitely the kind of shit i’d do on patreon if i ran mine again, where like, a tier would be either month/week wheel spin for an extra chapter or whatever.

anyway ive rambled here for almost twenty goddamn minutes. i still havent fucking made up my mind because why would my brain let me fucking do that and I have to get to work.

in other news im at 17k for the month, trustfall is dumb stupid long and im freaking out that im fucking it up too but keep tellign myself that if i like it (and i do) then that is enough and everything else is extra.

thanks for reading, if you have, (this and my fics lmao) and damn

im so glad its almost the weekend

#ramables #rambling about posting again #this one is extra rambling #also a wordcount update #and some other shit

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astrologista · 4 years ago

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jason stop dying

ooooook i just watched ditf. it was PRETTY GOOD.... i only wish there was MOOORE! watching this REALLY brought me back to 2011 times to see it and i think they did a good job with most of the character design and animations insofar as matching it to the original. (maybe i’m totally wrong but i thought it looked good for the most part... also i just really love these character designs in particular). obviously the budget is not what it would be on a feature, so there are a LOT of places where animation gets recycled and many still frames. some parts are basically a slideshow lol. but i only sort of came to that realization awhile after watching, so i think they did a fairly good job of masking this... ymmv

so let’s get into it!!!

SPOILERS a-head! do not read until you’ve watched it because i’ll spoil everything

now obviously the thing to be aware of if you are not is the fact that this adaptation is not a panel-by-panel adaptation of the original death in the family comic. all references to jason’s mother (save one mention of her dying of illness) are completely removed, they go to bosnia instead of africa, and the circumstances around jason leaving are also heavily altered to fit the new narrative. this adaptation does slot perfectly into the universe established by the under the red hood animated movie from 2011 though, without which one would be pretty confused when watching this. it’s kind of a mystery as to why they didn’t just package this with utrh and release the entire thing as a collectors edition. instead they package it with like 4 or 5 unrelated dc showcase shorts which makes absolutely 0 sense but go off i guess. anyway

i liked that they took the time to adapt the scene from the original ditf where bruce is talking to alfred about jason! (i do not like that alfred didn’t get any lines. bad choice). tbh i can’t understand why they bothered showing us alfred, barbara and dick if they weren’t gonna give them any lines..... like come on........??

HOW INTENSE BRUCE LOOKS WHEN HE FINDS JASON IN SARAJEVO and just. grabs him lol. hes smad :)

ok so one two skip a few and we get to the first branch. instead of calling 1-900 we now get to choose whether jason lives or dies. there are 7 possible endings i think i got em all so let’s see what we got here.

“Hush” Route - Robin cheats death

hgrgdggr. i definitely think this is one of the more interesting endings, if not the most interesting one. this is also the only ending in which both bruce and jason survive the bombing. bruce is still too late, but this time jason barely clings to life and survives. as a hurt/comfort fan i was 100% on this shit from the word go but then jason? runs away from home lmao lmao i thought that was SO funny because 1) hes super messed up, how is he able to just literally run out the house that is SO funny to me and 2) implying that bruce would ever not be keeping an eye on him after that is just, lmao. it’s so zany. i call this the “hush” route because of the bandages but there are no other references to hush so ok. that’s fair. so anyway jason is now angsty for loosely explained reasons but the most fun part is yet to come.

when talia showed up, i really thought / was terrified for a second that they were gonna bring up certain “events” regarding damian’s parentage / who damian’s father is but then she mentioned bruce and i was like OH THANK GOD WE CAN STILL GO TO HEAVEN. i am so so grateful to the writers for NOT going there. cuz it was damn close ok. im not sure what the implication of this route is in terms of talia, jason and damian being a family unit but i want to believe talia sees jason as a son and damian’s brother (which is how she refers to him, damian’s brother) and not... yknow. i mean. jason raising a baby is kind of like a baby raising a baby...

no actually the reality of this scene is really dfuckin interesting like. they actually go with the “birth of the demon” (forget if it was birth of the demon or bride of the demon. one of those.) explanation for damian and that is something i’ve NEVER seen adapted so whoever wrote this can have a cookie and i kNOW this is something a certain someone will appreciate :)

not only that but the implications? are interesting? so talia’s claim is she miscarried so bruce won’t have to “choose” between damian and jason and idk if she’s supposed to be all on the-up-and-up in this universe but. i’m sitting here like GIRL YOU DON’T GOTTA DO THIS HE HAS A PRIVATE JET HAVEN’T YOU HEARD OF SHARED CUSTODY and BETTER YET HE HAS A MANSION JUST GO ON MAURY AND GET THIS SORTED OUT RIGHT NOWwwww

i’m also LAUGHING at the implications of jason thinking theres anywhere on earth that he’s going to go and hide damian’s existence from bruce. because you already know he’s just going to be tearing the planet apart looking for jason so this is actually hilarious. imagine he finds jason in one piece and also a baby. his baby. he’d be like (@ talia) “OMG WHY WOULD YOU THINK I WOULDN’T WANT THEM BOTH u are tearing me apart talia......” BUT THEN HE WOULD BE SO FREAKING HAPPY BECAUSE HE HAS TWO ALIVE SONS AND HE THOUGHT THEY WERE BOTH DEAD / (lost to crime)!!!

please lord imagine all of jason’s angst probably just originating from the fact that he has a brain injury that hasn’t fully healed and the trauma of going through all those surgeries probably gave him a lot of fear / paranoia about bruce and associating him with the joker because his neural pathways are all messed up but after he leaves he starts slowly healing back and regaining some of his lost sanity and thats when he realizes he misses bruce so much... but hes also raising his child... and every day it gets more difficult for him not to just take damian and bring him home and i ;v;

anyway i thought this route, while it had a few inconsistencies in it, was really freaking interesting and it gave me feels and plot bunnies and is probably the one i want to write about the MOST despite the fact that baby damian looks like a character from one of those web flash games in this lol

“True” End - Jason Dies

now if you select that jason dies the route basically defaults to the canon of under the red hood and the fact that utrh does not come packaged with this movie is a rather mystifying choice to me as i don’t think this adaptation would stand on its own very well. like you need quite a bit of background to really get anything out of watching this on its own, which is probably why it’s classified as a “short” and not as its own movie.

instead of showing all of utrh, it seems they took the opportunity to give a ~30 minute recap of utrh with basically entirely reused animation but they allow bruce to sort of. give his dvd commentary over it.

the biggest feeling i have on this is that it’s sad that they had to waste 30 minutes like this that could’ve been used to do something new and much more interesting, but honestly i’m not mad. it seems kind of obvious that this choice was probably made for budget and/or runtime reasons because a short does not get the same budget set aside as a full length feature film does. so they basically took the option of recycling 30 minutes of animation from the movie and dubbing new audio over it.

in evangelion they ran out of budget and that’s why the last two episodes consist of nothing more than still pencil drawings and frames while the characters engage in philosophical debates concerning the nature of reality and human connection. and i really enjoyed that. and for the same reasons, i also really enjoyed this.

i enjoyed seeing the clark kent of this universe. i enjoyed that he was basically out on a date with bruce. i enjoyed that bruce was willing to open up for once and tell clark all of what happened with jason. but what really makes this segment shine bright are bruce greenwood’s line reads. there are SO MANY good line reads in here. and i LOVED how many times he said the word “son”. very wholesome. the way he describes how he felt during the final fight with jason? probs my favorite FUCKING part.

and then him and clark joking together about contingency plans and then they’re going to work together to find jason and i ;_; this is probably the closest thing to a “good” ending but as a continuation of utrh i thought it worked really well. i really want to believe that bruce and clark did find jason in this route and that there was some closure in the end even though we didn’t get to see it.

including clark in this was DEFINITELY the right move as well, considering that he played a rather large role in the original ditf so it’s a welcome nod.

The rest of the branches exist under a separate option where Bruce makes it in time to save Jason from the warehouse... but Bruce dies......... :O

let me tell you bout it... bruce’s fucking DEATH SCENE i don’t know WHAT my man bruce greenwood is on, but the freaking LINE READS in this dialogue had me making INHUMAN NOISES. LIKE NOT ONLY WAS THE DIALOGUE GOOD, NOT ONLY DID HE SAY “I LOVE YOU, SON”, but this man is just an amazing actor. not just voice actor, but actor. he really really really really gave it the most i don’t know how else to say it....... it was very very well done and punched me sideways in the heart and i haven’t recovered and i’m not going to recover. and

ok so once we get past that.... scene.... u have to choose whether you’re going to catch the joker or kill the joker. bruce asks jason to promise not to kill the joker but technically jason doesn’t promise so........

Let’s start by choosing to kill the Joker. Jason attends Bruce’s funeral and various members of the Justice League show up to talk with him and just generally hang out. He has Alfred, Dick and Barbara as his support system, but Jason has some other plans.

This leads to a scene in a cafe where Jason meets with a man who... something something Killing Joke, flashlight, more Barbara being used as a plot device when she deserves better, Jason kills the Joker with a butter knife.

Once you do this you can choose to surrender to the police, or retaliate and escape.

Jailbird Ending

basically if you surrender to the police jason ends up in prison where he can actually attack even more criminals so.... ya

If you retaliate and escape instead you go to the Red Robin route where Jason becomes a vigilante who kills people much like the Red Hood and you get a further choice in a fight with Two Face where you can control how Harvey’s coin lands.

Tim Ending!

If you choose the coin to land clean face up, the thing rewards you by having Tim show up and I forgot what happened (wasn’t really paying attention lol) because i was so focused on TIM!

Prolly they felt sorry for him what with Jason stealing what is essentially his outfit (ok I know it was Jason’s first, but Tim made it cool) so they let a little baby tim have an appearance :) he’s very smol

I guess in this ending Jason gets reintegrated with the family somehow and Tim becomes “Bat-kid” which is hilarious to me but you know what it’s cute. CUTE.

The one ending where the coin lands scarred side up

i honestly forget what happens if you choose to have the coin land scarred side up but let me just say this is a FUCKED route to take, not only have you had jason survive and bruce die, you’ve now chosen to kill the joker against bruce’s dying wish, you’ve chosen to attack the police, and at the end of that you really are gonna choose harvey’s coin to be scarred face up???? choosing this made me feel like a DICK because here i am supporting jason’s whole fall to madness and villainy thing the way it wants me to and now he’s gonna die HERE? i hate it here.

interestingly enough he doesn’t actually die in this route. he ends up at home with barbara and dick while dealing with the fact that he killed the joker but the route ends with jason saying “i promise” so i guess this is supposed to be kinda sad. im so confused lol ok

So that is all the options if you choose to kill the joker, I believe. You can also make the choice to just catch him instead of killing him but amazingly enough, those routes are even more FUCKED up.

If you do this option Jason goes home, mourns Bruce with Dick, Barbara and Alfred, and becomes Red Hood BUT with a twist, he’s entirely on a bloodless operation in line with Bruce’s wishes. OR.... IS HE?

Things then follow the events of UTRH until the scene on the bridge with the van and the guys. Jason finally confronts Joker, who reveals the truth.

Apparently in this route Jason has actually been killing and decapitating his victims just like in the original movie, but he’s repressed it so as to not even realize to himself that he’s doing it.

that is FUCKED. also. i wanna cry because jason doing all of that stuff but not even realizing it ;------; jason blocking it out, because he wanted to honor bruce’s wishes for him not to kill anyone ;______; but he’s doing it anyway ;_____; he’s actually hearing voices telling him to kill ;____; like it’s a very cheap twist in a sense and also really quite cruel but.... damn, son.

There is a branch here where you can choose to spare or kill the Joker at this point (UNDERTALE???) but from what I can tell it seems to be totally meaningless what choice you pick because you end up at the exact same point either way, I think there’s a small variation in what happens after you make the choice but after that they just coalesce back together into the following two endings. Which seems incredibly cheap to me, I mean making a choice like that should alter Jason’s path completely but, it doesn’t! So... ooook....

Either way Jason ends up on the Wayne building and Talia shows up with a re-animated Bruce from the pit. Here’s another fun blast from the 2011 past with more gratuitous Grant Morrison dreck, remember that shit? Well, they’re gonna jam it down your throat here, too.

The reanimated Bruce is the Zur En Arrh Bruce and he’s already dead so this is all meaningless but basically Jason fights him and you get to choose whether everybody lives or dies.

Zur En Arrh - Everyone Lives!

if you pick this, jason actually gets the re-animated bruce back to the batcave and they lock him up down there because he’s still pit-mad and the prognosis is not great. but i’m not sure what they expected, he is the zur-en-arrh guy so I don’t think he’s getting better.

Zur En Arrh - Everyone Dies!

pretty much there’s an explosion and all three of them die and that’s it

I think that should be all the possible endings there are.

By the way the different ways in which black mask dies in this was actually a fairly clever running gag lollll. let that mf burn we don’t need no water.

overall there are a couple of things i would have done to SIGNIFICANTLY improve this adaptation beyond some of the obvious ones.

- the fact that all of the branching options are branched exclusively under the “jason lives and bruce dies” branch is a huge wasted opportunity. imo this is the most egregious problem with this, i was really looking for a more balanced tree / explanation of different things. i am probably super biased though being a fic writer and used to fic, we’re the ones making huge ass trees every day lol.

- the fact that there is no “good” ending here is something i kind of expected but given the context of this is lackluster. i sort of get it though because granted, the original ditf ends in an unresolved manner but it’s distinctly unsatisfying here. i secretly wanted an ending where bruce, like, figures out about the different endings and hacks reality to try to find a good ending where jason lives and everything is fine lmao. like a bat mite ending.

- i was disappointed in a sense that the narrative given in here is so basically simplistic? maybe i’ve been spoiled by games like 999 and undertale where shit gets messy and that’s not what this is supposed to be but when i play something with multiple endings in this day and age, at least play with the concept a little bit and connect some of the branches together narratively. use different devices. i was also hoping some of the choices would be a little bit meatier like you could choose to “forgive bruce” or something cool like that lol. but it looks like the majority of choices have to do with who lives or dies. and i felt like they couldve been a bit more creative with that ya know? being able to control harvey’s coin was a GREAT example of having some more fun with this.

- it is a huge missed opportunity not to have a “secret ending” on something like this. like where. the fuck. is my secret ending for completing everything. come on. and in a similar vein there should’ve been at least something in terms of bruce and jason interacting in a “true ending”. even if very brief. the closest thing to an ending this has is the “jason died” route and then the ending where he’s talking to clark which i feel like was a REALLY nice good optimistic ending as far as this goes, but it comes off as kind of disappointing i guess

there were SO many interesting nuggets locked into this thing though. i can’t deny it bugs me how many wasted opportunities there were with how they chose to structure things but i guess it’s the best you can do with limited runtime. i thought it was really well done though, makes an interesting companion piece to the original utrh, and is definitely something that i will be re-watching again soon!! overall i give it a 7/10 and some parts an 8/10+!

#a death in the family #death in the family #ditf #it was cool to see the different ideas they had to offer finally?#for what it was #it was kind of a collection of shorts and half spun ideas #plus i think about this shit like every day #so i cant help but be interested #someone come and talk to me about this #i really want to know #what ppl thought #spoilers #ditf spoilers #death in the family spoilers

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