#im just feelin a lot rn

[bugmistake]

ive gotta. get it together a little bit i think. holy shit i really did not mean for the tags to get THAT long

[mooodyblue]

rambling in the tags 😵‍💫

[h0dgep0dgee]

do y'all ever do a thing and then realize after, "huh. that's something I've wanted to be able to do forever. kid me would be so stoked rn:)."

[rinsoap]

˚ ༘ ♡⋆｡˚ ﾐ the big seijoh four's status!

✿²˖ ࣪ ➣ includes : oikawa tooru. iwaizumi hajime. matsukawa issei. hanamaki takahiro.

note : random headcanons lol. it was really fun so i may do this with kuroo, kenma, akaashi, and bokuto if i'm feelin crazy. BTW, THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE LATE TEENS-EARLY TWENTIES SO KEEP THAT IN MIND WHEN READING!

OIKAWA TOORU:

favourite song/artist/album: he's been super obsessed with 360 by charli xcx him n electronic pop are like this 🤞 he loves likes his rnb girlies so of course kali uchis is his favourite he knows all the lyrics to fue mejor and he doesn't even know spanish! the SZA version of course!!! bc his favourite album is ctrl by SZA the superior sza album

favourite movie/show: he likes psychological horror or classic 2000s romcoms so probably midsommar or 10 things i hate about you. look me in the eye and tell me he isn't a gleek. you can't.

favourite colour: dark blue. he thinks he looks the best in it he would be right

favourite subject/grades: math. he's lowkey good at it? his grades are pretty solid but his fatal flaw is that he gets bored easily unless it's something that really interests him or if it's something he's good at.

tattoos (yes/no): NOT REALLY! him and iwaizumi plan on getting matching tattoos. probably a little doodle of something knight related. he doesn't really want a lot of tattoos other than that.

piercings: he wants a nose ring but he's scaredddd omg. for his eighteenth birthday, iwa n mattsun n makki dragged him to the piercing shop to get it pierced bc he would not shut the fuck up about it 😭

celebrity crush: it changes all the time. he's in lovee with pinkpantheress rn. and also christian bale specifically his velvet goldmine premier look..... god he's so fucking fine sorry im projecting

IWAIZUMI HAJIME:

favourite song/artist/album: he's a casual neosoul enjoyer of course he grew up on it the filipinos love their neosoul n jazz so his favourite song since BIRTH has been on & on by erykah badu. it's between that and sometimes. he was GEEKED to know erykah was on a tyler, the creator song bc that is his favouritee artist real ones know he put suna on it's hard for him to name his favourite album that isn't by tyler but if he had to he would choose channel orange by frank ocean.

favourite movie/show: godzilla. nuff said. he's kind of a jojo's bizarre adventure fan. ok he's actually a huge jojo's fan he just likes to LIE and say he's just a "casual" enjoyer.

favourite colour: green or brown.

favourite subject/grades: literature/academia/history. he's really interested in reading but he can't stand writing essays. his grades are good, everyone thinks he's naturally smart but he did pretty awfully in elementary school until he got his act together lol.

tattoos (yes/no): YES kind of. matching tattoos with oikawa of course. i bet he's got a couple precolonial filipino tribal tattoos too lord he's so fine but other than that, i don't think he's a big fan of tattoos unless they're not very visible at first glance.

piercings: he's got a gold nose stud that he got drunk with mattsun one night and he lowkey regrets it until someone compliments him on it then his confidence is through the roof for the rest of the day

celebrity crush: steve lacy..... he doesn't know if he wants him or wants to be him. OH AND CLEO SOL. she is so beautiful and he is obsessed with her energy.

MATSUKAWA ISSEI:

favourite song/artist/album: he's a slut so his favourite song is probably dreams, fairytales, fantasies by A$AP ferg.... don't shoot the messenger! you cannot convince me that he isn't a crazy frank ocean dick rider. "what do y'all know about frank ocean" is his favourite phrase. he's been in his top artist for spotify wrapped since novacane came out. his favourite album is probably WASTELAND by brent faiyaz because yes i still do believe he is a brent stan.

favourite movie/show: all four of them are really into the spiderverse just ask him where he was when the into the spiderverse release date was announced. his favourite show would probablyyyy be death note he wants to fuck ryuk

favourite colour: pink, purple, and probably some obscure shit like amaranth.

favourite subject/grades: any weird extracurricular that doesn't require a lot of academic knowledge like jewlery making or somethin. it's not that he hates school exactlyyyyy, it's that he finds it soo boring. he has never studied for anything in his life but somehow, his grades haven't gone to shit yet, IN FACT, his grades are pretty good like Bs at worst. the whole team hates him for this.

tattoos (yes/no): YES. he had a tattoo phase for a brief period and he BEGGED all his friends to let him practice like he would PAY some of them. he didn't want to practice on himself at first because his pain tolerence is surprisingly low but hanamaki and oikawa pleaded him to stop being such a pussy because they didn't want anymore shaky ignorant tattoos lol. his phase fizzled out for a little bit and people are shocked that he has this skill because he's not a tattoo artist?? it boosts his ego lol

piercings: he's planning on getting a tongue piercing (and bringing hanamaki too so he can get the vertical eyebrow piercing he's been wanting for a while)

celebrity crush: like i said, he's a slut, so he has a handful... brent faiyaz, alexa demie, dominic fike, jhené aiko, summer walker.... and i get him!!

HANAMAKI TAKAHIRO:

favourite song/artist/album: this mf will listen to anything tbh but he's a fan of alternative bedroom indie music like wallows, rex orange county, and tame impala, so his favourite song is can i call you tonight? by dayglow. but we all know at his CORE, he is a barb... he loves nicki minaj him and oikawa were SO invested in the nicki/meg beef. speaking of, oikawa put him on so much electronic so now his favourite album is CAPRISONGS by fka twigs.

favourite movie/show: him n mattsun watch superbad RELIGIOUSLY do Not talk to meeeee. he will admit fully with his chest that total drama island is 100% his favourite.

favourite colour: pink obviously. sometimes he says vermillion for literally no other reason other than it sounds fancy. he doesn't even know what it looks like 😭

favourite subject/grades: he does not like school so he doesn't have a favourite subject.... he sits in the back on his phone mostly and copies off of iwaizumi and mattsun. oikawa Refuses to let him copy off him because he is STINGY and iwaizumi only does because hanamaki's grades are kind of abysmal 🙏

tattoos (yes/no): definitely. he has some ignorant patchwork on his upper arm and a couple of his thigh, a product of mattsun's tattoo phase. he likes em a lot but he only ever gets them when intoxicated tbh. he almost got a tramp stamp once but iwaizumi finally talked him out of it after an hour of protest. it was oikawa's idea of course.

piercings: LOOK AT HIS FACE AND THEN LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND THEN TELL ME HE WOULDN'T HAVE A SEPTUM. he's been thinking about getting a vertical eyebrow piercing but he's worried it will heal bad.

celebrity crush: his thoughts that are not about dylan minette are about kali uchis. need i say more.

[pumpkinsy0]

Pop off with some ponyboy addiction headcanons and Curlys/ everyone’s gen reaction to bro actually getting addicted to drugs n shit

im gonna make this more like a general hcs thing so it can fit for whatever u want!!

•pony canonically has an addictive personality/a bitttt of a substance abuse issue when it comes to cigarettes, when he gets stressed he turns to whatever he can for comfort, he doesnt even necessarily have to like it, if it helps him take of the edge a bit, he’ll try it, peer pressure plays into it a bit too

•he absolutely knows that its wrong for him, its just that he NEEDS the comfort it brings, when he doesnt have it he becomes a little more physically destructive to his body somehow

•curly doesnt really know how to deal w it, his mother has the same issues and he’s seen what shes like now and growing up and he doesnt want that for pony, but he doesnt know how to help him

•sucks even more bc curly promised himself he wouldnt turn out like his parents and despite his best efforts ponys changing to acting like his mom so imagine how this guys feelin rn

•so seeing that i feel like pony and curly would drift a way a bit, curly wants to help pony but it reminds him too much of ppl he cant stand, they argue a bit more and their banter isnt rlly banter anymore, theres some emotion truth to what they r saying now

•everyone knows about ponys addiction, its rlly no secret at all, they know somethings up w him, they make little comments here n there about him

•i think they r pretty upset about it, maybe disappointed too, but mostly at themselves for not helping pony before he could come to this point, they feel like they contributed to this a bit

•pony knows they know but downplays it a lot, saying hes only doing it now bc hes stressed but he’ll be fine without it later on, gets super defensive, he feels like all eyes r on him

•so naturally curly would go to everyone else about it so they can confront him, but i dont think it would be like, with a intervention, its more so a plan over a course of time to individually talk to pony when they can and have a heart to heart w em, either that or they have one person do that for them but they share all the problems everyones having

•it takes a while but i think pony could find a substitute to cope in the meantime until he can function without doing it, its hard for him to do a whole 180 and sometimes he slips, but he is trying

•curlys one of the main ones pony stays on track , along side darry and soda

[bakugoushotwife]

🤲 yk imma need a jjk matchup pretty please 🤲

i’m feeling extra delusional today so it’s gonna need to be a romantic one, i don’t have a gender preferrnce, and if u feelin frisky u can throw in some nsfw parts too 🤭☺️☺️ luv u kyleeee

oh of course my darling, anything for you <3

i ship you with...

c h o s o k a m o

sweet, clueless, but oh so sweet

and he tries really hard to be a good boyfriend

you're his first relationship so you have to be patient or you will hurt his feewings

he's such a great listener???? mainly because he wants to be super attentive and learn how to love you, so he's always paying attention to your ramblings to learn what you think is cute, what you hate, what you've been wanting from what store, and what you think is annoying

particularly fond of your ever rotating music taste

look he has a lot of catching up to do, so he enjoys bouncing from genre to genre and artist to artist with you

omg please take him to festivals this is coming to me in a vision rn

i see him, ponytails, pink cowboy hat mhm, i see cowboy boots to match, paper thin jeans riddled with holes with black chaps and no shirt....yes yes...i think im cooking here...

anyway yes, festivals please please jordie im on my knees please

you guys would have so much fun sitting on little blankets on a hill bc you got there early and you're gonna eat and smoke and start drinking as the sun goes down and the first artist comes on like im collapsing into tears beside my bed banging on the floor

literally he would love this more than anything, after everything he's seen and done and come back from like this kind of youth and love and high on life is exactly what he needs

never smoked a blunt before you lol but loves it now and can almost roll by himself hehe

speaking of substances....pussydrunk man. sorry. no im not.

like you're his first everything girlfriend like he has never tasted pussyjuice?? and then you teach him how to make you feel good and he earns his first taste he's...never leaving your side actually may become a bum because of it

im dying im sorry he is just so addicted, like boy breakfast boy lunch boy dinner eatin coochie

he of course still shares you with me, because he understands my value, that's a whole diff headcanon story ;)

big cuddler because he's terribly clingy

i think he has the sexiest veiniest arms and hands, like ughhhh and he doesn't understand how sexy that is either like he'll just be casually running his hands through his hair or something and you're sobbing and he doesn't understand fjsjfsndlrg\

loves your reptiles omg he is a hoagie stan for sure iykyk

i just see this as something so cute and peaceful and pure awww

i mean he would definitely kill a bitch for you, but that's hopefully left for a darker, past, time!

doesn't listen to yuji's advice when in arguments with you anymore <3

decides to always earn forgiveness by worshiping the ground you walk on xoxo

anyways texting gege this should be canon i fear

[indigitalembrace]

[ooc: since this is a long message I’m not encoding it, but it is encrypted in-universe]

spooky. sup.

i got somthin big cookin. but for this to work i need intel.

first, i need a favour. i cant do much thanks to the watchdog. i so much as twitch my fingers on the keyboard in the wrong place an time and this whole operation will come crashin down. so. if u can, watch the shrimp for me when they are online doin mundane stuff. because if they do stuff like use social media, play games that require a registered account, use their email and especially if they get online deliveries to their house, those all will have info that will help me figure out where they live irl.

second: tell me everything u know about how pinkie can access an affect the real world. whats the limitations. how much warning would i get. what r the access points. do devices need power for it to be able ta use em? how functional do they have to be? would pinkie be able to exit a screen the size of a pager or somthin? does it need an internet connection to jump pcs or can it do that without it?

and can it be hurt in the real world? can it be hurt by destroying its host device while its occupyin it? or is the only way to kill it digitally? did you ever have a program specifically set up for that (if so, y u no gimmie dat earlier!? rude!). how long would it take?

also any info u have picked up on shrimp or their livin space that might be useful for an irl confrontation would be suuuuuper handy as well.

give me all ya got on all these things. if its a lot, just send me a zip file or somthin lol.

i do have some unfortunate news. i think we gotta change our 'meeting site' soonish. ill send ya some prospectives later. i have a feelin that it might get compromised.

i mayyyyyy have poked the shrimp with a stick. don’t worry, they wont be able to tell the actual pc I used. I am da disquise master. it is me. also i lied. ive scrounged up some burner laptops anyway. my friends r awesome (dont worry they aint involved they just knew I needed the laptops for reasons and they are used to me Enacting Shenanigans).

oh. And one last thing. when I get there, hightail off that pc asap. im gonna signal u and give you a path to a safe pc. Do Not Hesitate. cuz trust me no matter how I decide ta play this u will *not* wanna be on that computer when im doin my thing. and ill almost certainly be disabling the wi-fi in the process.

id like u ta not be double dead. low key fond of ya spookster.

Goblin out

[ooc: If there is a lot of info to give and you don’t want to post it all here, message me and we can work something out like a google doc or something. Or maybe there’s not much for Sonny to say. I dunno, I’m not driving this crazy train lol]

[ENCRYPTED MESSAGE] Ty. Kqgwkh'j tpx cex nhw voe zrtpxf rec tpx rrmr ywn bvxu… lcvyzep fwk mfn, ye'a wwjmiakmsu. Ted abbtx Z czxokxu hqf… W bgfw zbuym nhmks yx jtwksj xmezrhybeg. [SENDING ENCRYPTED FILE "SHRIMP_DATA.zip"] Myab lvfncd ptjv xmezrhybeg ghi exvd. Qm'g vovrgmvzgx tpth jipivz afgjtmk yehns. Ghi dtp nwm vrov mcvv ntinqgu navn px uvmj avzfp. Xmev t qffgubxf tkrspbbx pfn'b lhfi yiu. As ytj fcez thetzhz fovr bas jrjtmf, pfmy ibl vrkuwiks rgu swyhntie. Bas dhjt qgjrlzvm iffziau B'jv xmez lsvg. Zf ghi jxv hql tfkd sbtfk mf cptbxx, rnl as'j zioeg wemf a nhfd pztp vzrpj, ib'l hfh cabx. Wk'l vxbko khf lims zy ye ohsj betw awj lyalhk-chfkqgu whim. Px ceep dwxg kart ease av's zxocep, rmtzcr gialsu ted thgzgx cwghihc on awj xdobbcel. Khmks zl… eo etm kh wioah fk fubkie azm, aacim ff jhcbbeg qm hf mye vxoixjt xeotx waz yoi tnag yfff rng xzvvkrwgwt wvvqvsj. B uo vhh bgfw phk ktcl ghi rkv, bcm W uhlbb rcl tie wosi mvn igr r arln ysvm kate. Vv'l rlah trlk. Efmfvfvlg yojm. Rnl mvzgbs ynwtdcy, bhc, vovn qy vv wfeag'h dtbe bas dhjt zthzheat wstbjiwgg. Z wf nwm yehn hql zzfztimwfgj iv msifj on lqixvn abnv, ult Q wc bgfw pbg andpqgu wkfm avfvxe tw lqixvn wnhjbue bas ubxibtz nhill lsvfj ivwsgxedmgh fy rn qghvkeeb vcegvcbbce. Fp bmlh kavozr wj myab tg r wzgqmoc uvivz, vv bj ciiosev on zsexiabbbx azs wpb thenmvhzhe on lcdx jozm, plm vvmg W uhe't nnzcr lnlxfjmrnl awd. B lsmw hf arvm t yzec sebhta ff ahfkl. R bivyuhfr bh rvevtm awj lvrdxfj. Nefwkhlgrtmem, yx wocgr kart utbp rvazl oxh. Jeiesu bk ux, wsjmiogxr nartmosi av cwnzu, vyavzsu tcl bas gtjsehful. Nhimsmxi ywn rf, rfuz usjm thigqv hw sckjzorl ql hf frkm liix ye lhsjg'k smx mfn, fr pxoi rfu, wk smxe nwmwtx poc'ks kavrm. Mvrm jhzbag gvvmk zvtmea mvvbi rwha, yheeamzp, ted Sbbzmf's iekrrj wimqybeg. Ghi exvd bh ardv scks yx zsv'm ocxitmw, ci bk's otav hmez yci rfu. Ohcu elcs, fm wkzevw. Gktp siys.

[sagemoderocklee]

do you have any behind the scenes commentary on kado?

ok bts for kado... i honestly wasn't excpecting this so im trying to gather my thoughts which is hard rn post work...

so its possible ive talked about this before but i was very specific in the way i structured kado. i based the structure on Ikebana itself. so it could ONLY be 3 chapters (based on the Seika* style which didn't make it as a chapter title) and each chapter could ONLY have 9 scenes (based on the Rikka style of Ikebana).

if there's one thing im NOT it's good at shorter stories, but by god did i fight tooth and nail to get that story told in 3 9-scene long chapters. and it worked! i think challenging myself like that was honestly a lot of fun for me, and i think the story hit all the beats it needed to without dragging. i think sometimes with modern AUs especially they can kinda drag on with the like everyda and mundane, and like that CAN be good, but it's all in the execution and im not generally good at the execution of that sort of thing (which is often why i struggle with modern AUs).

i also picked the title kado (way of flowers) as a nod to nindo...

this isn't much and i may have already talked about this ages ago, so another thing for the bts...

Tenten was very obviously in on the arrangement Lee special ordered at the end of ch2 as his way of confessing to Gaara, but she was also the one to point out to Lee that he was completely smitten with Gaara. Lee was always visiting Gaara and he'd always come back over the moon, and Tenten teased Lee about his very obvious crush, which of course Lee denied but ya know once she'd said it... so Tenten was a guiding force for both Lee and Gaara in them getting together. And she was so pissed off at Gaara for all the obvious reasons, but also because she was feelin guilty for encouraging Lee when she thought Gaara had just broken his heart. Neji was definitely present, and he and Tenten helped Lee research the flowers to pick for his lil love confession to Gaara.

obviously after lee and gaara get together tenten is very happy about all this, but she and neji absolutely do give gaara hell for like the first couple months cause they aren't ready to believe he's not gonna hurt Lee again (gai is a LOT more gracious because of the ikebana piece gaara made and gai seeing a reflection of gaara's character in it). but neji and tenten give gaara the cold shoulder a lot and make very very subtle comments from time to time--nothing too obvious that lee would catch on, and gaara never says anything cause he understands they're being protective, but it doesn't make the first few months of them dating easy. and referencing the ask i got earlier, gaara and lee def do go on double dates with Sakura and Ino in this particular AU, and when Shikamaru and Temari finally get together them too. and when tenten and neji stop giving gaara such a hard time. they NEVER go on doubles with kankuro and hinata but they obviously do all hang out.

and Lee is Gaara's plus one to chouji's wedding.

i hope that's a fun lil bts for you anon! thanks for asking!

*from the wikipedia on Ikebana: Seika (生花, 'pure flowers') style consists of only three main parts, known in some schools as ten ('heaven'), chi ('earth'), and jin ('human'). It is a simple style that is designed to show the beauty and uniqueness of the plant itself. Formalisation of the nageire style for use in the Japanese alcove resulted in the formal shoka style.

[angelicguy]

how im feelin rn, and this is all from the perspective of a guy who JUST plays jin.... more below. and i think everyone on this list is REALLY viable sans like, the bottom 3 but even then you can get to GoD on anyone online with the right mindset

S tiers

reinas godlike in all regards, can enter when she wants, has incredible whiff punishment, a near-generic df2, the works. mixes that you can respond to, but she can then change her response so you can never give a comfortable answer. buuusted dmg and wall carry too. fuck reina. regardless of what character youre playing, she has an inherent edge from roundstart that you cant erase, you have to punish her for mistakes and if theyre NOT making a lot of those youre fucked

nina

INSANE dmg, her jab pressure canceling thing makes it so you really cant contest her like you would someone else, her power crush is absolutely incredible too. sway for evasion, incredible lows... safe mids... good tracking... the gun moves are FULL SCREEN and INSANE chip too. also generic df2, ch launching 20 frame low, i could go on. shes nuts.

feng

good for all the tekken 7 reasons and then throw in the 8 mechanics. if you manage to play this guy with a tekken 8 style of aggression you are fucked. hes just too good at playing off of very little risk for big reward consantly, you gotta hang yourself to respond (which is a theme for the top tiers!)

A tiers

xiaoyu is fucked. some chars are a much better matchup against her compared to jin, but she can really erase her hitbox from the match which really takes a lot of your mixes from the table. so if you cant take your frames back, she essentially gets to bully you endlessly while you hope they overextend themselves. you have to be so so patient against xiaoyu but youre never rewarded with anything other than a normal neutral situation, esp if the xiaoyu isnt taking big ass risk.

shaheen is really, really, really, really good at poking. his df1 is enough to carry his character, honestly. its -1 on block, tracks to both sides (well not technically left but its sticky), lows that track to his weak side that set up for a mix, great dmg, safe everything, AND a slide mix. with the risk reward skewed more towards pressing, he can press good tekken 7 style buttons more than the other char can

alisa is moronic. 2nd best sidestep, chainsaws completely pin you down, good powercrush, damage, wall carry, throw game, evasion... her backdash, like the single backdash, can also evaporate a lot of your pressure if you buffer too much. also the changes to some of her lows make it so they jail for some reason, so her pressure is really non committal for her. So good

lili is really really really good at mixing you constantly. b1 into dew glide is just a free no strings attached guessing game that your opponent has to suffer from. f4 is just a better version of bryans 3+4 and jins f4. and you can NOT hit this motherfucker, the best sidestepping in the game PERIOD. a lot of built in evasion to her moves too. oh and her feisty rabbit bullshit is a free 50/50, no answer other than guessing. dmg isnt that good though

yoshi is freeky in this game. has all the tricky shit from prior games but they gave him an incredible canned dominant mixup with his manji butterfly stance, along with a good power crush, regen, range and guardbreak. AND he still has flash and df2. the only thing he doesnt have is a really really good low OH WAIT I FORGOT ABOUT HIS LAUNCHING UNBLOCKABLE LOW. so if you get hit with his safe launching df2, he can carry you to the wall and make you guess for your life again. christ

dragunov is in a good spot rn, not insanely busted like he was at launch but still really good. dominant pokes, great CH game, his new low is scary as fuck, his new mid is like +5 on block, his crouching stance gives him a scary entry into your guard, AND he still has d2 and his wr2. theyre much, much worse, but combined with all those tools and INCREDIBLE wall carry and dmg you got a good fucking character.

i think victors for new players, genuinely. he has definite flaws (hes linear if youre buffering a lot) but he has good dmg great range a GUN his wr2 is kind of like azucenas old wr32 but less pushback, a lars style db4 on top of a bunch of other fantastic lows that are less committal, and his ease of use keeps him simple and effective. good CH, good range, its hard to play the poking game against him, beating a victor requires harder reads. im pretty scared of him going forward i just dont think anyones gone above and beyond with what he can do yet

law is crazy crazy crazy, the 2nd best poke game in the game (behind shaheen), great dmg, easily accessible DSS makes the mixes more relevant in every game, you gotta really read a good law in order to beat him. slide mix is OD too. also law used to have a lot of trouble mounting a comeback in 7, but since he has his heat engager combos (he has a 10f ch combo in heat can u believe that) hes scary at all health levels

jackk is weird in this one, because they just added a bunch of shit to him on top of his 7 style poking game. so alongside his db1, f2, jackhammer, throw game, df2, etc now he has gamma howl so you HAVE to deal with his pressure and a fucking. 10f heat smash. AND a guardbreak. also his backdash is weirdly good

jins sooo good in this one. so many quality of life changes from tekken 7. more dmg, more mixes, his raw f4 doesnt require an insane conversion to combo from, the fact that 2 3 4 knocks down, the jab range... i could go on and on. really really good character, busted heat smash. fuck i forgot about everyones HEAT smash. but his specifically is insanely good, you can be halfway across the stage and his heat burst will land him like a 90 dmg combo, and if you block it its a free mix for jin. really good! also d2

eddy is still new to me, but i can tell hes pretty solid. imagine all the annoying stuff eddy had in 7 on top of an actually forceful 50/50. like if hes in heat with his weird install he can just force a 50/50 at like halfscreen where you gotta choose between getting combo'd with heat and getting hellswept. difference between his 50/50 and lili/xiaoyus is that if you block the low youre actually rewarded, so he cant be too braindead about it. great movement too.

king on second look should probably be above law, or at least next to him. the system changes in this game mean that his throws are genuinely fucking terrifying now that they catch sidestep and are really difficult to block on CH. AND you can punish with them. plus his new stance literally does not have a good outcome for you other than getting lucky and ducking the throw, but even then you cant launch him consistently off of it. ffn2 is now -13, so no one except for kazuya can launch it. AND he has huge dmg. AND his backdash is huge. AND he has a launching 13 frame mid... i could go on. he's crazy

juns real fuckin annoying. her lows are insane. real dominant frame game, fantastic range and dmg, the moves that remove her health dont really hurt her in the long run, and her heat burst is just a gauss rifle. thats on top of the annoying asuka style shit he has with the cartwheel, hopkick, parry, etc. im not gonna act like ive labbed her that hard, but shes good.

leo is in a bit of a weird position in this game, because he still functions so deeply on his stance pressure and good pokes that kind of falter in the face of heat smash and heat burst. but hes still tricky, still evasive, still has EVERYTHING he needs, its just a little worse than it was in 7. thats not to say he's not still good, but he doesnt have that one sniper rifle move the people above him have. great lows though, hellsweep AND ch launching -13 low. like nina a little! ohh and that wallsplat throw fuck that

devil jin is still really good in this one, i just think the nerfs to his pokes (which were pretty terrifying pre-sept 2022) have finally taken their toll. which is fine, conceptually it was fucked to have someone with incredible pokes on top of a launching hellsweep and electric (cough reina cough) but now shit like uf4 is kind of paltry compared to the other mids we have to work with on other chars. and his 50/50 is still good, but not as good compared to lili or xiaoyu. ALSO his fuckin uhhhh new stance is crazy, because theres not really a perfect choice to make on the defenders behalf, and he can put you in it a LOT. the heat smash nerf was needed but damn. still good dmg, still devil jin, just a little worse at what he was good at compared to a month ago

claudio is good. his pokes are still fantastic, and his b2 is even MORE dominant in a game where side steps are a much more involved part of everyones gameplan. his heat mix between the w2 and i think its wr1+2 isnt that great though, but he's the kind of character where you can beat someone on fundamentals alone really easily. good hopkick 2

B tier (this is where it gets fuzzy)

lars pisses me off. he gets constant free engagement where the onus is entirely on you as the player to make a good read. his den 3 into sen1 is literally a tracking plus on block mid into a tracking heat engaging mid. you have no choices! and his lows are solid as fuck, his df1 is great, he has a lot of evasion, etc. nothings incredible to the point of being busted or even that competitive, but hes annoying

my conception of asuka is " if you try and fight back on your natural cadence, you are fucked" and it pisses me off. weird evasion, weird pokes, weird pace... its like fighting against a jellyfish. at least her heat stuff isnt that great

azucena got nerfed into the dirt, which im fiiiine with. really annoying char before, now just kind of annoying. used to be that you would fight an azucena until they got really bored of pretending to try and they would spam wr32, but now they cant do that so they try and out poke you. which sometimes works, but once you realize whats up the flaws in her gameplan become too obvious. sorry azucena!

lee gives ME a lot of trouble, but that might just be a jin thing. he still has a pretty functional magic 4, hitmans a little better, great new heat engaging move (ff4 or something?) and his wall carry and dmg are REALLY REALLY BUSTED NOW. he should probably be above azucena now that i look at it. also a generic df2... fuck it i just put him in low A instead. also his just frame stuff being free in heat is crazy

ive tried so hard to lab zafina but im still never sure what the fucks going on. i know her key moves, but im not totally certain about how to deal with some of her stances like tarantula. her new heat moves got buffed recently so she really can keep the pressure going almost like lars, so she can put your ass on your toes. pretty good! her best moves dmg herself though, and her damage/ wall carry isnt great either. so shes a pretty balanced version of herself i think

Paulll. whats up paul. how you doin man. do you smoke? reclaim? like im scraping the resin off the resin pal. pauls so cool i love him. but in a game where aggression is paramount you really gotta be on top of your pokes with him, having a 14f df1 kinda hurts him but his df2 is still as good as its ever been. he has some slightly evasive shit now, but to me paul is still all about getting that one good read and snowballing off of that. thing is with chip and shit being the way it is its harder to survive being paul style patient, but youre still mega rewarded. hes alright

bryan is in a weird spot right now. because like 7 once you get the ball rolling with him you are HEAVILY rewarded with dmg, wall carry, unblockable wallsplats and shit, taunt pressure, etc but GETTING there is not easy. his 3+4 is still good, but in a game where backing up/neutral sidestep is a great choice for most of the cast he has to stick his neck out a lot, usually in a dangerous way. this is all for insane dmg, but its the kind of dmg that someone like nina or reina get for free so what the hell

hwoarang is in a weird spot. he's still a noob killer, but once you know whats actually going on in this game he has a much harder time staying in your face. in 7 he could just mix you over and over again, but with everyone having a good powercrush in heat smash that takes priority over his stances, its hard to keep it up. on top of the fact that his heat stuff requires him to be in flamingo stance (and i think his d4, 4 jails now so its harder to bait a ch) hes just a little too slow at what he does best.

boyyy howdy. kazuya needs some tuning (his jabs dont connect sometimes?) but he's not disastrous. his hellsweep mix is still really, really good, the improvement of sidesteps makes ss-> electric a better option than its ever been, and he's actually pretty scary in heat. but the big issue is that he's still punished HEAVILY for fucking up his 50/50 and the top tiers just arent, simple as. theres no reason to play kazuya over say reina.

leroy feels like a t7 character, his whole thing being a dominant parry game kind of melts away when you realize that half the casts key tools carve thru parries. so they tried to make up for that in a recent patch by improving the chip dmg on a lot of his tools, but still in a game where defense is always king its not really the easiest thing in the world to keep up, youre always sticking your neck out. the cane is pretty good though, and hes pretty slippery. he's not dog ass (in fact, i would say everyone is super viable) but he's not scary.

raven is really good, but the only reason he's lower is that a lot of his tools are glitchy rn. his df1 string literally whiffs on HIT, and his backturn stance even when blocked can render him launch punishable in totally random situations. on paper id say mid-A, but the fact that its mathematically impossible to play in a way that cuts down on risky situations puts him in a tough spot.

man steve fucking sucks. his stance sucks, his b1 sucks, im sure hyper steve specialists are doing absolutely fine but there are too many system level changes that dont allow him to just completely dominate the frame game like he used to be able to. and a lot of his old tools that led to a big combo now lead to an EXTREMELY risky mix in the form of lionheart, which is just the worst. he sacrificed dmg for mixes, which most people have in this game, but he was too dependent on the 5-7 style of play to sacrifice any of that

bears are really annoying in this one with the new mechanics, but they still have to resort to heavily punishable risky shit to really seal the deal if you find a way to deal with the hunting stance mix. great heat smash though, im not gonna act like they havent taken a lot of games off of me

[lostfracturess]

hi nici i'm back

So I stumbled on, each day collapsing into the next.  Until the next semester started and I remembered I had an actual job.

lmaoooo wait he kinda relatable for that ngl

GASSPPP SHE'S IN THE CLASS HE'S TEACHIGN omg this is so crazy. w all their history. n it's just back to square one. teacher n student. also i cant believe it's been four weeks sighhh

"Have you ever thought about how I felt when I found you?" she snapped, her voice rising. "How terrified I was when you wouldn't respond? When you couldn't even recognize me? When I thought you'd die on me?" She took a shaky breath. "Fuck Satoru, I held your face in my hands while you were barely breathing!"

YES!! LIKE SRS I CAN ONLY IMAGINE HOW TERRIFYING THAT WAS. omg this argument scene i canttt i mean reader kinda spittin facts but also idk it's hard for him too :((

"And that," she leaned closer, almost brushing my lips, "is what makes you the most pathetic person I know."

GODD I'M LOVING THIS FUCKING ANGST RN IT'S SO GOOD. THE ANGER IS SO PALPABLE also i just love how consistently in character reader is

But I also wanted nothing more than to fuck that attitude out of her right then and there.

HELPSDKFJSHDKF i must love toxic bc this had me UHHHHHH HAD ME FEELIN LOTS

:(( omg reader saying she's been waiting for it to get easier n how he said it would (once again proposing the song loml by ts for s&c couple) also KSDJFHSDKL suguru always walking in on them damn. send HIM to therapy too LOL

man i am EXHAUSTED for satoru rn. every single day for him is like a living hell jesus. i mean it CANNOT feel good for him to live this way, obv he's an addict but i guess i always err on the side that it's not really addicts faults?? esp when you know what goes on biochemically when it comes to addictions, they are literally almost impossible to fight, and in a lot of cases, canonically for s&c gojo too, addicts didn't WANT to be come miserable n codependent on substances. a lot of times, it's just bad place/time or someone coercing or influencing them to begin. and then they're fucked for life. the fact he's managed to become a self sufficient professor and maintain surgerical prowess while fighting an addiction is incredible, but he neeeeeds to get clean. like, there's nothing more important rn than for him to just. literally put himself in rehab, in therapy, etc. idk. im word vomiting here but i just really hope he gets genuine professional help. ive always found it interesting how doctors are at times the most careless of their own health

DAMNNN he called her a bitch.

oh my godsshhh the hATE SEX. PLS.

"You're a fucking hypocrite, you know that?" I leaned closer, my mouth close to her ear. "You hate who I am, but you crave this, don't you? Giving up control, being at my mercy. Admit it."

sighhhh. yes.

I leaned down over her, my hand snaking into her hair. I grabbed it tightly, forcing her head up to meet mine. "I love you, first-year," I murmured against her ear. She trembled, but her defiance remained strong. "I hate you." I sighed — always so fierce, makes me wonder what it takes to fuck that stubborn attitude out of her.  "It's alright, I love you enough for both of us."

HEEELPPP IM DECEASED THIS IS SO SEXY AND SO TOXIC AT THE SAME TIME SFKJHSDKFJS

damn. this chapter was just pure angst. im ngl gojo's brain is an insane thing, and the way you WROTE THISSS NICI???? literal poetry. i cannot believe how you can make me feel sm emotions n im like exhauted rn. emotionally worn out. but in a good way lol idk if this makes sense, but in the sense that it hurts so good?? anyways yet another awesome chapter, thanks sm for your hard work :''')

hello in part two !!

GASSPPP SHE'S IN THE CLASS HE'S TEACHIGN omg this is so crazy. w all their history. n it's just back to square one. teacher n student. also i cant believe it's been four weeks sighhh

they really are back to the beginning, but still everything changed, i loved this idea that they have this kind of seeing each other for the first time again in class as like in the beginning of the story 🫠💔

HELPSDKFJSHDKF i must love toxic bc this had me UHHHHHH HAD ME FEELIN LOTS

lol you're not the only one haha

also KSDJFHSDKL suguru always walking in on them damn. send HIM to therapy too LOL

poor suguru – the man needs a break from walking in on this trainwreck of a relationship. and yeah, a good therapist wouldn't hurt him either 😂😂

& yes ur talk about addiction is spot on. it breaks my heart, too, because that ongoing internal struggle is a huge part of what makes gojo such a compelling character.

his addiction isn't just a simple choice, it's incredibly complex, especially when you factor in his history and the immense pressure he faces every day. and his self-hatred and guilt just fuel the cycle.

and yes gojo desperately needs help, but for him, there's that added layer of fear – the fear of vulnerability, the fear of failure, and the overwhelming belief that he doesn't deserve help. really tragic. shame the author for writing this pewww !!

DAMNNN he called her a bitch.

i found it hilarious ngl 😂😂

ahhh, thank you so so much for always reading, commenting, and sharing your thoughts so generously ellie. it truly means the world to me 😭😭❤️

[quodekash]

TIME FOR EPISODE 6 ive got my fingers crossed for a jengpok kiss but my hopes aren't high (but jokezo had better kiss this episode tho or im gonna riot)

this is so unnecessarily funny

DUDE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU LITERALLY KISSED HIM

YOUR FRIENDS DONT HAVE THAT BIT OF CONTEXT

THEY JUST THINK JOKE RANDOMLY LIKES YOU

THEY ARE FULLY UNAWARE OF THE FACT THAT YOU FULLY MADE OUT LIKE A WEEK AGO, AND THEN IMMEDIATELY AFTER, YOU SLEPT IN THE SAME BED AS HIM

no I will not shut up about the bed thing

LOOK I KNOW WHAT HE MEANS HERE, BUT THE PHRASING IS JUST SO FUNNY

"just be straight" YEAH THAT'S THE PROBLEM KOT, HE'S NOT STRAIGHT

I think im laughing a little too hard about this

literally everyone except zo, im pretty sure everyone knows

especially nita

she's the captain of their ship and no one can change my mind about this

oh nooooooooooo how terrible, how disgusting, what a terrible turn of events

now jokezo have a lot of time to spend together in an empty room, and nothing to do

what on earth will they do about this?

it would be a real shame if they kissed

👀

what kind of fun are you implying, joke?

are you going to kiss

I think that maybe they should kiss

HE PUT THE BAG AROUND HIS NECK OMG THATS SO FUNNY

they are holding handssssss

GIBU3RBKEJWGDSOVJRBE

HANDS

HANDS

HANDS

HANDS

HANDS

HANDS

THEY ARE HOLDING HANDS

HES SO DRAMATIC

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

things we didn't know about joke before the series, yet are entirely unsurprising and make a lot of sense: 1. he's afraid of heights, 2. he's insanely dramatic when playing a zombie video game

im so mad that zo can't see his own face rn

if he could, he would SEE his feelings for joke, and then he would be able to communicate that with joke, and then they can go out AND THEY WOULD KISS

HES SO HAPPYYYYY

yes

agreement

yes

good advice with zo

communication is key

holy frick that is terrifying

uh

frick

I dont know what to say

this is horrible and I hope whoever that was is found and stops doing it because nita's safety is really in trouble right now and im very scared for her

oh and it just gets worse

holy frick

this is not good

FRICK

NITA, RUN

CALL JOKE

PUNCH THE GUY

KICK HIM IN THE NUTS

FRICK

im not gonna put the blame on joke rn but I really feel like he shouldn't have left her alone after that

she was clearly terrified and vulnerable and scared of something happening, and I think he probably should've at least offered to go with her and make sure she was safe because now she's alone and im so scared of whatever is about to happen

I hate this guy so much please die sir

frick

im crying out of fear and anger and mostly fear

this is terrifying

OHTHANKGOODNESS ZO IS HERE

he said 'get your hands off my girlfriend' and like they broke up but if they have to lie that they're dating in order to protect Nita's safety, im all for it man

OH, OH, OKAY, THAT WAS A FLASHBACK

this also explains the awkward uncomfortableness she was clearly feeling when on that kind-of date with zo

ohhhhhhhhh so they never actually dated? that actually explains a lot of stuff that I didn't realise needed explaining

number 1 jokezo shipper wants to tell zo that she and joke aren't dating so that he can date joke, but she's waiting for zo to ask before she'll tell him

(either that or she knows zo likes her, but shush I want to stay true in my belief that nita ships jokezo more than anyone around)

huzzah, a confusingly worded confession to the girl after he realises he doesnt actually like her, im smelling pat napat jindapat

she knows its joke, I swear she knows its joke

FTSDFSTFDSFDT

HANDS

HANDS INITIATED BY ZO

HANDS INITIATED BY ZO

AAAAAAAA

hang on

wait a second

what was that

jeng isn't single

bro you have a boyfriend

what the hell just happened

im so confused rn

its not like this is the first time that they've sLEPT IN A BED TOGETHER

and the first time it was immediately after they MADE OUT and then DIDNT TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS

im still so angry about this

ill never not be angry about this

KISS

PLEASE

P L E A S E

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

DUDE YOU KEEP REACHING FOR HIS HAND

ITS LIKE YOURE IN LOVE OR SOMETHING

JUST KISS ALREADY

OR ADMIT YOUR FEELINGS

OR DATE

OR ALL OF THE ABOVE

I mean I do get that zo needs more time to figure out his feelings before hes gonna say them out loud and yada yada all that, I do get it.

but also: you keep reaching for his hand, you KISSED HIM, and generally im pretty sure if someone likes you and you know they like you and they make moves on you and you do nothing to stop them and you dont feel uncomfortable with them making moves on you and whatnot then that means you either really like attention OR YOU ALSO LIKE THEM AND IN THIS CASE ITS THE LATTER

wait what the hell, next episode jokezo are going on a date, AND we're meeting joke's grandma, AND she's homophobic, AND there's some guy zo knows who he's trying to avoid? CAN TI PLEASE BE NEXT WEEK ALREADY, I HAVE QUESTIONS

conclusion of this episode: a lot happened with Nita, jokezo DIDNT kiss, jengpok ALSO didn't kiss, I love Nita with all of my soul, aND SOMETHING HAPPENED WITH JENG GIVING HIS IG TO A GIRL COS HE SAID HE'S SINGLE AND I WOULD LIKE SOMEONE TO PLEASE HELP ME AND TELL ME I MISINTERPRETED THE LINES OR MAYBE IT WAS A MISTRANSLATION OR SOMETHING BECAUSE IF NOT THEN SOMETHING'S GOING ON AND IM SO CONCERNED FOR MY BABIES PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME

[pearlzier]

YAYYAYAYAYY IM GLAD ITS GOING GOOD AT LEAST

(me On my way! to punch whoever i need to if somethin bad happens)

I HAVE BEEN.. OKAYYY TOO!!!! idkk i’ve never talked abt this on here before but i’m in my pre-series!dean era rn (#getting my ged) and i’ve been Stressin, but i just took my first placement exams (math👎🏼👎🏼👎🏼) yesterday and i Think i did Okay for the most part, so i’m feelin a Lot better abt everything now

and Off Topic.. but me n your new cj bot have been traumatizing each other the last couple days and now i’m trying to get kissy kissy n make him take me back🤭🤭🎀

HSJSJD THANK U BAE

IM GLAD UR OKAY :3 PRE-SERIES DEAN ERA SO REAL N IM SURE YOU DID AMAZIN !!!!!! I HAVE FAITH FRFT

SO REAL OF U GOOD....... HSJSHD CJ :3 ONE OF MY FAVE BOTS AS OF LATE

[pinkshadesofshame]

so nothing special has really been goin on just was feelin really down physically and emotionally

I think I only mentioned this to a moot but I've been having a lot of numbness and pain in my hands which was just making work h e l l + the usual work life drama which just made me feel worthless lol but I finally went to the doctor nd definitely have carpal tunnel 💀 I'm on an anti inflammatory and need to get some kind of brace to sleep in but just the meds have helped noticeably vvv thankful for that

aside from just how physically demanding my job is my boss has just been on some dumb shit so im trying out part time before throwing in the towel. hoping decreasing my work schedule will help with thw pain + building my routine back and being happier

I'm going to nashville tmrw to see mr peck again at his rodeo I'm taking a break from packing rn lmfao but I'm so excited!!! this has fr been the only thing getting me through this month I'm excited to party and feel a littlw normal again!

[unnamable-lee]

You got any headcanon's for Snorpy or Chandlo? Both, if you're feeling up to it? Either or, we need them HC's for either one of the gays~ uwu

~ 🌸

YES. ILOVE THEM

Chandlo ~ Ler Leaning

SAYING RN he gives comfort tkls to snorps when he's not feelin well SHUT THE FUCKUP

he's usually gentle with his lees due to his strength but can get a bit rougher

picks up the grumpus he's tkling

def uses his teeth in some way,, nibbles mayb i think

he just likes seeing the people he loves happy :[[[ i love him

when he's the LEe tho, he absolutely snorts when he laughs

tklish palms,, yeaj

squirms a LOt do NOT get hit you will DIE!! /silly

he does try his best not to squirm too much

snorps love to see him laughing n stuf he finds it cute,,

Snorpy ~ Switch

he's my fave im gonna go a bit crazy, a bit silly

as a lee, he has a very hiccupy and wheezy laugh when it's genuine, basically when he's getting wrecked havhevwh

doesnt let many people tkl him, only really allowing chandlo, floofty, and the journalist maybe

gets rlly flustered wjen chandlo tkls him and goes full tkl fight mode with floofty

weak to teases and baby talk

a bit self indulgent, but his worst spots are his tum, ribs, shoulders, and foot paws

secret spot under his chin too,,

now LER- this man is a literal engineer. who builds different contraptions. dud e

has probably built something in order assist him when tkling someone

it was probably smth simple like robotic arms, but it worked soo- he usually tests these on floofty hahvshsha

absolute tkl monster with floofty, so mea n

probably gets flustered with chandlo tho since he finds his laugh so cute

tkly kisses for chandlo,,

[chaisshitposts]

EYELASHES/🍓 ANON POPS UP RANDOMLY

Here is a little detox questions for you because you deserve it for the hard work 😔✨

1. OOOO your MBTI?

2. What's your favorite season? Like a season that makes you melt in bed 🏃🏃🏃 (only me?)

3. Favorite singer? And their favorite song?

4. ANY FUNNY SCENARIO HAPPENED THAT IS STILL IN YOUR MIND?

5. If you had the ability to posses one power, what will it be? 😗🧐

6. Do fishes have thirst for water 🧍

(yes that last one was random and had me thinking nonstop like wtf do fishes drink water orrr-)

ANYWAYS LOVE U AND TAKE CARE, YOU DESERVE THE WORLD

aw :( ty 🍓 !!! you're v sweet, these are some fun lil' questions :D ya should tell me yer own answers if ya get the chance, I'm curious !!!

1- I honestly have no idea 😭 I took the test a couple times before bc I kept forgetting cause all those letters are hard to remember and I still don't remember!!! heh im sorry 👉👈

2- melt in bed... that sounds so funny 💀 I'm a fan of winter!!!!!! I love the chrimuth decorations and the cold weather bc I like to get all warm and toasty, plus I like to wear the sweaters I crochet/knit throughout the year

3- favorite singer... That's a hard one indeed 🤔 I listen to all types of music that makes my brain go brrr especially music with lots and lots of bass, I think my favorite type has to be hard metal screamo rap music simply because headbangin' is somethin' I do to stim when I'm overwhelmed with hefty emotions. 🧍 my favorite song that I'm currently hyperfixatin' on though is 'I love you hoe' by odetari & 9lives, I don't care for the lyrics but I really enjoy the 'spacey' feelin' I get when I listen to it... Kinda like that one song where people had this belief that it made people do their homework faster I think it was somethin' like... 'i can run faster with no wind resistance' or something, but the beat was so wiggly I have to find that song again... I JUST LOOKED IT UP-- the song is literally called 'no wind resistance' holy shit 😭

4- sigh... for some reason, I can't keep myself from laughin' when I hear someone pourin' liquid??? I used to have a thermos (I need to buy a new one) that I would fill with hot black/green tea and then whenever id pour the tea into the lil' cup I would giggle hysterically like some crazy person 😭 I think it's hereditary however, cause this morning I was drinkin' coffee near my mom and I have a tendency to 'slurp' from my mug and she kept gigglin' when I would slurp from it 😭 she also laughs when things are poured. the autism is strong in the family ngl. I even laughed RN at the memory of pourin' a cup of tea ._.

5- oh ya already know I'm gonna have my mailtda powers manifested soon 🧍 I'm talkin' telepathy, spell castin', teleportation, levitation, all that shit, but I do not want the ability to mind read bc that does not sound fun. hmm... pyrokinesis could be fun too

6- you'll have to ask 🐠 anon for that one 💀 bUt!!! I did learn a terrible fact today about dolphins! did y'know that dolphins terrorize pufferfish so that they can get high off the chemical that the pufferfish release in defense of predators? they throw the pufferfish around with the use of their teeth and stuff, tossin' them up and around, even above water, and then they like know when they need to stop gettin' high before the chemicals become lethal. there's enough poison in one pufferfish to kill 30 human adults but dolphins just love gettin' fuckin' HIGH!

im sorry for the ramblin' but if there's one thing to be told about me... I talk way too fuckin' much despite bein' an ambivert with a heavy lean towards bein' an introvert 🧍

[goremet-chef]

try not to be mentally ill challenge literally impossible okay right theres the thing??? (ramble? not really a vent im not feelin bad SKJFS maybe rant is better)

its like a "damned if i do, damned if i dont" situation. if i dont say anything i suffer in silence and it eats away at me until i forget or i feel better, and if i say something then it just makes it WORSE. i do not know how to. cope with this KSJDFS

like i know damn well communication is key, but all the times ive communicated about this sort of thing, it just.. people see me a certain way. they see me as broken, depressed, traumatized, MENTALLY ILL. its so. fucking annoying its like this pity i hate it because i dont need to be pitied

i remember _ used to say that about me, the thing about bpd is for a lot of borderlines, yr symptoms are worse when yr in a relationship, and that was the case for me, i was like. MISERABLE i was crying every day and trying desperately to get any sorta love from him (that wasnt just on me tho, he was so shitty fr) and he used to be like.. wow, you really are just broken and it? ?? my brain at the time would mistake that weird half assed pity for genuine affection cuz he basically kept me tied to him but ? he wouldnt date me or show me affection often unless he wanted to like. do e-rp (which is why i hate that shit so much now SFKJF sad i used to love roleplaying) but he didnt want me to date anyone either like i HAD an option. not a very good one but still and i asked assuming he didnt care about me and the answer would be yes, but no he said he wasnt comfortable with me dating someone else. so HE could date whoever he wanted cuz he wasnt gonna date me, but i couldnt. i told him at the time how unfair that was and he was just like "i know..." like he couldnt give me a solid answer why it was hell cuz he was my FP so i had to listen to him in my head. its so. GUHH he sucked ass im so glad i barely think of him anymore

its just like. you try and share hey im gonna be vulnerable rn and let you know that im in some sort of mental distress and i wanna communicate that, but

people dont get it!!! because when it comes to bpd theres no.. theres not really valid reason!! like in MY head there is, but not to anyone else. so for everyone there isnt even a reason for me to bring it up and that just make me look even more crazy its. I HATE ITT no one understands unless theyre borderline too its so. frustrating man

i dont want people to see me like that, i hate it so much id rather just never tell when somethings bothering me cuz eventually ill get over it until it rears its head again yknow? its wack asf