#im just done.
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I think after this genuinely its time to just stop coming out of my room. Im so fucking sick of this.
#i cant move out.#and even if i could id have to go live with my mom and shes got 2 people in her house that are risky about covid too#im just done.#no one gets to see me anymore im going into self imposed exile
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it's extremely critical that you see the photo of the perp walk for luigi mangione as being propaganda. i've seen so many people wave it off and instead fawn over his looks. and trust me, i know it ended up being kind of pathetic and weird - but please don't brush it off as a "modelling opportunity" for him. it's a fucking terrifying message the police are sending.
i want to make a few comparisons here, in case you're not from the US or familiar with why the perp walk thing is something to pay attention to. just to set the groundwork for why this is a purposeful, unusual, and cruel act by the nyc police - for why this is not a common occurrence and for why that matters.
the prosecution alleges the show of force is due to the charge of "terrorism." for comparison, in june 2015, tsarnaev was found guilty for the boston marathon bombing, which killed 3 people and injured hundreds. his actions are considered to be an act of domestic terrorism. i have spent the last hour looking through google for pictures of similar to mangione's perp walk - and so far, i have found zero. i also just do not personally remember a moment like that, despite living in boston at the time.
they allege that luigi is a stone-cold killer who carried out a longterm plan, making him particularly dangerous. again for comparison: in nyc, recently cory martin was found guilty of the killing of brandy odom. the murder was planned and premeditated to steal insurance money. and yet no staged perp walk. why didn't her life matter enough for a "show of force"?
but mangione gets paraded by a veritable army of police officers as if he is a rabid animal. for a single citizen who allegedly killed one other single citizen, the "largest perp walk ever" occurs.
so what is the "strong message" that the mayor and the police were trying to send here? the mayor speaks as if mangione is already convicted of terrorism. there is a very thin number of people who feel threatened by the CEO's death. none of us felt like mangione needs to be under massive armed guard.
the message is that you shouldn't resist. they are trying to "make an example" of him - that if you behave badly and kill a single rich person, you'll be treated as if you killed hundreds of people. you will be treated worse than a man who was found guilty of terrorism. you will be considered guilty without trial. the message is that the rich are a protected class, and you cannot touch them without massive punishment. they are trying to prevent a revolution by showing dominance and force against you.
the message is that the police are a puppet of the wealthy and that the law is not equally applied across class disparity. it is "some are more equal than others." it is "one life is more precious than another."
the show of force wasn't for luigi. it was for us. it was a warning. they are trying to remind us who is really in control.
#i bring up tsarnev only bc i feel like people DID want blood. i lived in boston. people wanted to rip him apart.#i do not personally remember a moment where he was paraded around like that. and the fact we gave more dignity to him#than luigi .... is startling.#and i just realized last night i was like - i don't really remember a perp walk like that. maybe im misremembering#but i went to google and i was like. wait why the fuck was it so fucking big.#it WASNT a random act of terror. it WASNT to injure/kill as many as possible.#even if we consider it to be premeditated murder: when have we ever done this.#so brandy's life didnt deserve “a show of force?”#the mayor doesn't say ''our city wont stand for this'' when it's a planned murder for insurance money????#anyway . ur not immune etc etc etc#but i also wanted the comparisons in here in case ppl aren't from amercia etc#this ISNT normal or usual. this was overkill by like a million#on the other hand they gotta do this bc they're scared :)#i kept this bc i had ppl ask me not to delete this but i just felt like#it wasn't really poetry just talkin
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ripley :)
#alien franchise#alien 1979#my art#artists on tumblr#procreate#risky posting from my phone nowadays. what if i accidentally hit#one of my rash hive photos im taking for my dermatology appt 😭#anyways. watch this space for more ripley soon (in the form of pinup calendar)#just need to edit it and export it. but all tha pages are done!
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alternatives for ai to design ocs
hero forge
picrew
the fucking sims 4
your local furry artist
bitmoji
shitty photoshoped collage
DeviantArt bases
zepeto
making edits of your favorite character
searching "dress up game" on the app store
learning how to draw
#anti ai#“but im an uwu soft bean and i don't know how to draw”#then learn?#you know you can create right you are capable of more than just “consuming”#im not saying you need to train to be the best artist in the world or that you need to pursue a future in the art industry#you don't need to be perfect you just need to try#that feeling of needing things done right now only works to alienate you from the labor behind the things you love
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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to moving forward
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#satoru gojo#jjk manga spoilers#hina.comic#before any1 says anything i KNOw his birthday is in december ik ik ik this is just 2 show some post-battle bonding after the trauma#its winter in canon n megumi's birthday has passed and he spent it being piloted like a mech so they need to celebrate Now!!#also this was technically a request lmao anon wanted megumi birthday angst hehehehhe i hope u like it <3 bc it KILLED ME DEAD#im going to collapse remember when i said this wasnt harder than the hydrangeas im having second thoughts#page 8 made me want to bash my head in#could have stuck with one flashback image could have left them monochrome could have done literally anything 2 ease the workload#but noooo the chronic overachiever in me would not allow it#rule of threes i had to include all of them and they Had to be in colour it wouldn't have hit the same if i had kept it monochrome#i needed it to look how childhood memories look i needed it to look oversaturated and hazy and fond but unmistakably Gone#it may have killed me but im so proud of this rn like from an art style perspective these megumis and yuujis r top tier by my standards#personal favourites r the first and last panel of crying megumi like not 2 pat myself on th back but expression?????? hello??????#enjoy your cake megumi you've earned it <333 sorry fr hurting ur feelings it will happen again#oh my god i can sleep tonight bless <333 and i met my 3 day deadline NICE im so good at what i do
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#that is tims 'i know im right' face#jason is trying and failing to win the argument#damian: i am surrounded by idiots (affectionate)#steph wondering why she has to be in the middle of this#duke being adorable#bruce: my circus my monkeys#dick: my siblings get along. so well.#babs: this shit is funny#cass just eating her popcorn and watching in amusement#wayne family adventures#tim drake#dick grayson#jason todd#damian wayne#bruce wayne#batfamily#bruce is so done#get these bitches therapy#wayne family#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#duke thomas#barbara gordon
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those moments when you know that some entity somewhere out there just fucking hates you, otherwise this shit wouldn’t keep happening.
man fuck this.
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….
#i fucking HAAAATE when i show people something#and they just ‘la di da’ fucking GRIND UNTIL I SURPASS YOU#im gonna fucking scEAM im so sick of it#im beyond pissed and sick of doing anything with anyone#why cant i have anything#why cant we share things why join me just so you can what. just so you could make fun of me? idk man im just.#im just done.#rant
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still thinking about soundwave face and trying to figure things out bc im.nuts??? ur silent intimidating spymaster making these faces under the mask like just think about it
#ignore the inconsistencies im drawing at 3 am bc im .stupid#all fics where soundwave is sassy or awkward or done with everything im kissing u rn its so funny#i love soundwave acting like hes not but he rlly is just a guy#my art#soundwave
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okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.
like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).
but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.
im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.
#what the fuck.#unfortunately by the time i'd switched accounts (from personal to my poetry one)#i couldn't find it :(#this is why u SEND URSELF THE POST. WHICH I KNOW TO DO BUT!!!#i was so mad i just was like “i'm about to tear this commenter in twain” and . lost da post#if u urself are the 29 and got recently flamed by instagram#i love u. come here. write with me. i was about to pick up a sword for u.#i mean a BIGASS sword.#like we all know im a wlw girlie but the way ppl will be like ''id NEVER write sad poetry about a MAN not LOVING me!!!"#..... wowwwww ur so cool. anyway. people often experience emotions regardless of what u consider cringe.#& if ur gonna shame straight/bi women for feeling a certain way. hope u never write about the#weird relationship between u and ur father. or feeling different from ur brother.#or how ur male best friend fucked u over. since it's SO CRINGE. to have ANY feelings caused by a MAN#like be so for real. beloved. nobody is fucking saying this when men do it.#''oh it's cringe to like a woman or feel heartbroken by her.''#controlling women's feelings and actions???? it's more likely than u think.#btw op is nonbinary do NOT be gender essential on this post i'll kill u with my teeth#edit: btw for the person who dm'd me ''when is it misogyny and when is it actually valid''#pretty easy. if a man had done it#would it be cringe? . like if a man sang a sad song about ''she broke my damn heart''?#if he said ''i want to have kids with her'' or something sexually explicit?? like would u even LIKE IT if a male poet had said it?#& if it's like. nah a 35 yr old man being upset about this is cringe too. yeah it's just cringe. that exists. we both know it does.#but .... often i see this ONLY about women. and i can't help but hear like. how back in middle school#we were fed the lie ''girls mature faster.'' ... why do i have to be emotionally regulated? but if a man wrote about the same things?#..... idk . im pretty anti cringe culture to begin with. but this one feels so bad to me . ur still a person past 33.
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reflection
#anyways so i think samus has major survivors guilt and is a super perfectionist. The type of girl who reimagines scenarios in her mind#And thinks about how she could have done better. like ‘if i had woken up sooner maybe i could have saved everyone in prime 3’#so i think she says she doesnt know anything about herself because shes so hypercritical of her actions she doesnt see herself as a person#while also her hyper critical-ness shows how she says she wants to ignore herself but she literally cant because she has so many criticisms#oh i wanted to include the ppl from the prime 2 manga in that one shot but was like ‘i dont think ppl will recognize them’.#also lol the existence of dark samus would fuck her up SOOOO bad like it only exists bc she exists & its responsible for the gang’s deaths#okay im done rambling tldr MENTAL ILLNESS.#metroid#samus aran#loneart#metroid dread#metroid prime#super metroid#metroid series#i dont wanna tag all the games. There just those games is enough#hall of fame#gray voice
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okay so a ceasefire will happen soon, inshallah, but i just know the second it does, most of y'all will pack it up and go home. the world has proven time and time again that the second the violence "stops", then everyone forgets about us and then we just go back to suffering under the israeli occupation. you guys need to promise us, promise every single palestinian child in the world right now, that you will not stop fighting. that you will continue boycotting, you will continue protesting, you will continue disrupting the world until palestine is free. and then we'll do it again. and again and again and again and again. for sudan, for the congo, for everyone who is suffering right now.
you guys cant keep leaving us and forgetting about us once you've done "your part". it always happens, and we always go back to suffering. you need to stand with us until palestine is completely free. until we have our land back, until we can rebuild our homes, until we can drink clean water and breathe clean air, until our children grow up never having to face a horror like the nakba ever again. you need to stay fighting until we are all free forever.
#palestine#free palestine#im aching for a ceasefire obviously but some of yall will just straight up leave once it's done#like no. we mean FREE palestine. like all of it. forever
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Company Mandated Fancy Fits on the Tulpar 😏
Also had to include the REAL star of the show (and a bonus)
Based off of this and this. Thank you very much joetastic for being inspirational 👍
The REAL reason this is late
#just pretend I posted this like 6 days ago 😁👍#<-got distracted#sorry I’m Afflicted with The Curse and everything just takes me a long time#also right now I’m just kind of being experimental with my workflow and style right now so stuff is just naturally taking a bit longer#mouthwashing#mouthwashing fanart#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#nurse anya#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing curly#swansea mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#myart#anyway my new years resolution is to put more WOMEN in SUITS and MEN in DRESSES#had fun drawing this but still not too sure about the rendering style just yet. probably just gonna keep playing around with shit#IM DOING IT SCARED but im DOING IT#im also still trying to figure out how to Social Media#am i doing it right#GRAAAHHHHHHH I NEED TO BETTER UNDERSTAND FORMATTING POSTS#i have a more serious mouthwashing piece in the works but wanted to get this done first lol#honestly I have a buncha sketches I should post too#i like them but they’re not really composited very well if you catch my drift. been having trouble with sketch page layout recently#which is kind of antithetical to the idea of a sketch page but you know how it is with spaghetti#i doodled the others on the side and liked how they looked so i just put some color and basic shading on them#edit: realized i forgot to change the color of the ‘lapel’ on jims shirt lol
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teach me your ways potion master
#need to draw them as old mad scientists#anyway i dont know how. canon the games are#but mcgucket makes health potions in gnome gemulets#and he makes potions in the show and i just. don't see i brought up at all#and i think about it all of the time#i just think itd be fun if he made stan and ford his potion guinea pigs#oh and. half baked healing mcgucket design. we'll see where it goes.#okay im done no more exposition#gravity falls#old man mcgucket#fiddleford mcgucket#stanford pines#ford pines
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