#im just bad and shy about talking about lore

[mochamadeleines]

Sweethearts and Sweet Dreams <3

“Nothin’?”

“Mhm.”

“Whats behind your back then?”

You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.” (6.4k words)

tags!! - 18+ modern au! Husband! Joel Miller, Wife! Reader, you guys are happy and in love!, mutual obsession if u squint, lots of exposition im so freaking sorry, pervert Joel if u squint, praise kink joel if you squint, dumbification if you squint, written for those with daddy issues lowkeeyyyyy, written with game joel in mind but could be hbo joel no problem!, lowk i combined the two in my mind, mentions of shy old man joel, housewife! reader (by choice), unspecified age gap but reader is like. thirty? and joels Like...55??, talk about joel taking medication for his anxiety, p in v sex, dirty talk, public sex, outdoor sex, joel has a kink for dresses because i said so? service top joel if you squint, pet names, a pinch of jealousy and possessiveness for fun, playful banter, mentions of maria and tommy and their baby with a made up name Lol, mentions of ellie and sarah (rip), mentions of readers past abusive relationships, talk about joel struggling with substance abuse/addiction and being hospitalized.....Im sure u can theorize why </3, lots of lore ill get into in another fic MAYBE *smirks*, flip flop in perspective, sometimes showing what joel is thinking or what reader is thinking blah blah

authors notes!! - hi there!!! im mocha and this is my first joel fic ever + my first fic posted to tumblr!! im really nervous cuz i havent written anything in months and ive never written joel before so please let me know if you like it!! id love to write more of this au for u guys if theres a demand for it...Thank u for reading!! also barely proof read im ngl. ive been staring at this fic all day im sick of itttt. p.s i dont usually write smut i also kinda do idfk Is this bad or am i tweaking

You step out of the house, morning sun soaking into the roots of your hair and the driveway beneath your feet. Theres a package youve been waiting for. 

You cant contain your grin as you wiggle it out of the hot prison that is your mailbox.

“What the hell are you doin’ out there barefoot?” Joel chastises you from the front door, leaning his elbow on the frame. Joel, your lovely husband of two years. Been together for five. And because of how hard he works, you have the privilege of being a stay at home wife. Some people think that sort of life is stifling, but youve never felt so free. No more jobs you hate, no more financial struggles. Just you, Joel, and your cat, Cement. He likes to pretend it isnt a totally hilarious name for a pet.

You were his first relationship in almost a decade, so it was a lot of work helping him unpack his anxieties about dating, and a lot of work for you to feel safe and unafraid. Honestly? Youve been mistreated by enough men to land you in the psychward.

But Joel never yells at you, he never breaks things when hes angry or threatens to hurt you. He might raise his voice every now and again, but its never because of something you did. Sometimes the stress of life is just too much. 

He works hard, he loves his daughter- daughters- and he would do anything to keep you happy. Whatever you say goes, he says. Even now, you hardly argue. Of course you have disagreements, or off days thatd lead to one of you being especially moody, but the both of you do your best to communicate.

Behind that rough exterior, is someone who just wants to be needed. 

You first met Joel at a youth center you volunteered at, he taught guitar, you taught arts and crafts. Joel says it was your smile and sense of humor that charmed him. It was his singing and southern accent for you.

Your favorite thing about Joel is how soft he gets around you. He says its because you make it easy to be soft. 

Joel was a shy lover at first. He would get nervous just kissing you, or holding your hand. While most people become intimate very early on in their relationship, you and Joel didnt do anything sexual for the first five months of you dated. Sure, you almost did, plenty of times, but he would get so overwhelmed and cut things short. You broke two of your vibrators during this era of your relationship. Embarassing.

You remember your first time very vividly. Joel had worked back to back doubles trying to meet a deadline, and on the final day, after having barely spoken to you for almost a week, you had shown up to his house, unannounced. You were wringing water out of your jacket when he swung the door open. 

“How-” Joel blinks a few times, stepping forward to examine the rainfall. “How long you been out here?”

“Not that long,” You lie and pick up the container you brought off the porch chair. Part of you had a hard time mustering up the courage to even knock on the door. Droplets of water cascade down your chin. “Hi, sorry. I know youre tired.”

He shakes his head, voice soft and warm. “S’fine. Now c’mon, youre gonna get sick.”

Youre seated at the little dining table next to the kitchen now, trying to let the sound of the rainfall ease your nerves.

Joel was quick to grab you a towel, and does the honors of drying your face and hair with it. “Why didnt you jus’ call me? Woulda gotten out of the shower faster if i knew you were gettin’ soaked out there like this.”

“I dunno, sorry.”

“An’ whatd i tell you about apologizin’ all the time?”

“Sor- Uh. Right. Okay.” You tighten your jaw. No more.

Joel moves behind you, now squeezing water out the ends of your hair. “Whas’ that?”

“Oh!-” You peel back the lid, showing it to him. “Old fashion cake donuts are your favorite right? I remember you saying you liked eating them with your coffee in the mornings so…I made these. Youve been working a lot lately and I wanted to do something nice for you.”

Joel gingerly grasps the container from your hands, looking into it. Theyre a warm golden brown, outside evenly fried, and the sweet scent of them hits his nose right away.

“I was just gonna leave them on the doorstep and call you to tell you they were there, but I wanted to see you.”

His adam's apple bobs as he swallows the dryness in his throat. Youre too good for him. 

“Thank you very much.” He presses a kiss to your damp hair. “Now, lets get you into some dry clothes.”

Joel gives you a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers to keep you modest while your clothes wash and dry. 

You wait patiently on his bed for the hot chocolate he promised you before you showered. Theres nothing to watch on the tv, so you just turn it off and reach for the lamp on his nightstand instead. 

He comes in quietly, and sets the mug down beside the lamp. You finally come into focus, clear as day even under the low lighting.

“You uh.. You look nice.”

You blink. “I look nice?”

“In my shirt.”

That gets a smile out of you. 

Joel tips his head towards the mug. “S’hot so, give it a few minutes. Dont want you burnin’ your mouth.”

You nod. “Okay.”

Hes sat beside you now and the two of you sit in silence for a while. Its not awkward, just the kind of silence where both of you want to say something but just.. Cant.

Joel unravels first. “Missed you, y’know. Just been tired.”

“I know.” Your voice wobbles, and Joels jaw tightens like hearing you sound so sad stings him. “I missed you, too.” 

He slides his hand over yours, giving it a squeeze. Its okay. 

“Hey Joel...Can I stay the night?” 

“Sure. Id really like that.”

While you drink your hot chocolate, you and Joel catch up. You both talk about work, and about your new found interest in baking. Joel teases you about your lack of cooking skills, you do the same. Youre both useless. 

When its time to climb into bed, neither of you can actually fall asleep. Joel rolls onto his side, away from you and the window. You follow, curling up like a little cat against his back. The sensation is nice for the both of you.

You speak up after a little while.

“Joel?”

“Mm.”

“Thank you for letting me stay.”

He scoffs, voice thick with exhaustion. “Like I'd force you to leave after you brought me such a nice present.”

You let out a little giggle, “So if i didnt, youd kick me out?”

“Id think ‘bout it.”

You gasp, gently shoving at his back. “Thats mean…!”

“S’really not.”

“Oh yeah? And what if I poisoned them?.”

“Then itd jus' be a regular day of your cookin’ then.” Joel reminds you, lighthearted. Too many times where you left the shells in your eggs or burnt toast or left the bacon on the pan for too long.

“You cant get mad at me for my dark past when you made a perfectly good sirloin taste like horse leather.”

“Ugh. Dont remind me. That was like putting a one-hundred dollar bill into a paper shredder. How do either of us stay alive again?”

“Uh. Digiorno?”

“Digiorno.”

After a few moments, Joels rolling over again, and hes guiding your head to settle against his chest. Your arms wrap around him, and his arms around you. 

“Joel,” You whisper. He hums. “Im cold.”

“S’cause youre not wearin’ any pants.”

“And whos fault is that?”

“Still yours.”

“I was left out in the rain like a sad, sopping wet cat. One that was left in a box all alone with no family…” You pretend to sniffle. “Dont you feel bad for me?”

Joel sighs, not saying anything more except making sure the part of the comforter behind your back is tucked into your side so the cold air doesnt get in. When hes done, you do a little shimmy up his body, and throw your leg over his hip. Oh no.

Hes alert now. Very alert. Be normal. Joel hesitates, licking the dryness off his lips. “Uh. Feel better?”

“Mhm.” You push your face into his throat, cat-like, before settling down again. Hes like a radiator.

Actually scratch that, he cant be normal. 

“Darlin’.” He rasps, patting your back to get your attention.

“Mm?”

“Your leg. Move it.”

A few beats pass. “Why?”

“Because…” Wow,  he didnt think hed get this far. You shift forward and Joel lets out a quiet exhale through his nose, one that couldve been masked by the rain if you werent so close.

“Are you-”

“No! No. Its- Its not what you think-” He cant see your face in the darkness but he knows you feel the semi-hard struggling through the confines of his pants. Lame.

“Joel,” You say, soft. Your hands slide up his arm to cradle his jaw. Lightning flashes into the room, giving you a glimpse of Joels tight expression. He whispers your name back, just as soft.

“This is normal.” 

Its normal, it is! Except for the fact that you guys havent had sex yet. The stress of being intimate is too much, kills his boner in a blink. The longer he waits the worse the anxiety gets.

“I-I know.”

You place a hand on his chest, feeling it pound away like crazy through all the soft muscle.  

“Youve been taking your medication, right?”

Has he?

The silence of him thinking is proof enough. “Joel-”

He sighs, rubbing his eyes through the darkness .“I know, I know. Shoot, Im sorry. I just forget sometimes.”

“Its okay.” The pad of your thumb strokes the tops of his cheek, and you press a tender kiss to his mouth to soothe him.  “...Want me to remind you?”

The softness of your lips has him a bit dazed. “Huh?”

“I said, do you want me to remind you? I can- You know, call you before you leave work. Make sure you take them.”

“You know I wake up at five-o-clock in the mornin’ , right?”

“I know.” 

In a whisper, “Okay.”

Joels rough palms trail down your back and stop at the curve of your butt, finger tips delicately tracing the skin above your shorts. You shiver.

Barely above a whisper. “We dont have to go all the way.”

He says your name again, laced with worry. He doesnt want you to feel pressured. 

You pull your leg off his hip and push yourself up, settling your hands on either side of Joels head.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Yes-”

“-And you cant get all in your head about it. You stay here, with me. You stay present.”

“Okay, okay.” He nods, a bit defeated. “I will stay present.”

“When you...When you say you dont wanna have sex, what is it that youre thinking exactly? I know you said you just get really nervous but I feel like youre not being totally honest.”

Joel stays quiet, idly rubbing your sides. Maybe you are a cat. Just getting to feel any part of you is soothing. “I jus’ want you to feel good. ‘Fraid ill do somethin’ you dont like.”

“You cant assume how I feel, Joel. Being intimate.. It takes time to learn what the other person likes.”

He sighs. “I know.” Youre always right.

Adding on, “Like I said, we dont have to go all the way,” You lean further back, situating yourself on his hips. He lets out a shaky breath when he feels the pressure of your ass through his sweats.

“But, I want to start somewhere. I want to feel you.” 

“Fuck- Um-” Hes shaking now, letting you grind your hips down onto him. Joel cant seem to control the way his hips instinctively push up to meet yours. Youre both becoming of a mess of little gasps and hot breaths and tiny whimpers already.

You hunch forward, guiding his hand under your your shirt- His shirt- letting him feel up the supple skin of your stomach, then the area where your ribs are, then your-

“And I want you to feel me,”

Surprisingly, you did actually go all the way that night.

Your sex life was a bit of a rocky start, but after Joel got over most of his anxiety, you learned quickly just how goddamn insatiable he was. Five years in and he still regularly makes you sore. 

There are a couple things you learned about him and his sexual interests. He loves to take you in his truck, in your kitchen, in your bathroom, on your couch. Other, riskier places. Anywhere that isnt your bed apparently, not that he isnt fucking you there either.

Joel is handsy, so handsy infact it embarasses you to no end, especially when youre infront of others. Thats usually how it starts, too. First he kisses you, then gropes your hips and your ass, and the next thing you know, youre cumming on his fingers. Then hed bend you over, or get you on your back, or make you ride him. Is it really riding if hes just slamming up into you until your brain turns into mush?

He likes that too. Making you not think.

Youd be lying if you said its only ever him. Sleepy morning handjobs before work, whining to him over the phone and touching yourself to his voice, arching your back into him while you're washing dishes, sucking him off after hours in his office.

And while most men prefer lingerie or little costumes, Joel likes dresses. Dresses that are discreet so he can take you in the backyard when he comes home early and sees you gardening. Or when youre both at a friends house and hes had a little too much to drink and finds himself alone with you. Dresses that make it easy to play his favorite game with you. I touch you, and you make sure we dont get caught by being too loud. Joel really is the worst sometimes.

Now, you only ever wear pants when its cold, or to bed or sometimes when youre lounging, like today. Youre in some shorts and a tank top. Otherwise, its dresses all year round, usually retro styles or ones meant for spring. Joels not picky though, he loves any dress on you.

Even if you wear an extremely modest, white lacey sleep dress, looking like some kind of vintage ghost, the man would still keep you up all night. And he has. He said you looked like a princess. You guess you kind of did.

The entire thing is like an unspoken arrangement between you both. He doesnt tell you to wear them, you just do.

And he works hard to spoil you, so why not buy as many cute dresses as possible? 

You got a cute dress today too, on the same day Joel has off. You think its going to be a new favorite of his.

The big polymailer stays hidden behind your back. Be casual. “Uh- Nothing!”

“Nothin’?”

“Mhm.”

“Whats behind your back then?”

You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.”

“Lemme see then. Show me your hands-”

“Hey, Mrs. Miller!”

Both you and Joel turn your heads to the voice, and only one of you has the energy to fake a a smile. Your neighbor is stopping in his driveway, having come back from a jog it looks.

“Hi, Lee.” 

Joel really, really, really doesnt like Lee. You dont like him either, but youre not one to cause problems. Lee on the other hand, is. Hes a bit younger than you, and a lot younger than Joel. Hes one of those tech dudes with a massive ego, thinks that youll be swayed by his money and his “charm” and youth as if youre some sad housewife in need of saving. Gross. 

And another thing, Lee doesnt even actually live here! Hes here ever so often to visit his dad between, you dont know, tech expos? You forget. Joel believes he started showing up more often to see you. 

Youre walking towards the porch again. Joels looking especially unhappy to see him today, knuckles pulled taut into a fist. His lips stay pressed into a thin line, careful not to let anything slip out. He usually lets you do most of the talking, as much as it pains him. 

Joels really not a fan of the way Lees eyes take a trip up your bare legs. Little shit.

“Out with no shoes again, Mrs. Miller?”

“You know me, Im uh- Im weird.”

“The weird ones do it best.” He smiles, all teeth. It gives you the creeps. His attention is on Joel now. Its like watching a puppy try to one up a wolf. “Right, Joel?”

“Uh huh.” Whatever that means.

“Actually, I've been meaning to ask you something, Mrs. Miller.” Lee crosses into your driveway and you glance briefly at Joel, as if to make sure he isnt going to start growling at the other to stay away. Youre clutching the package to your chest now. 

“Have you ever been to a support group for uh- you know, the spouses of addicts?  I have a friend from work and shes really struggling.” 

Lees tone is sugary sweet, but the fake kind you put in diet soda except that stuff is way better. Joel sighs from the door. You stand there, dumbfounded on the porch steps because what the fuck is he going on about. 

You clear your throat, keeping your voice firm. “No. Ive never needed to.”  

Joels voice cuts in like a knife. “Been clean for almost twenty years now.”

“Yeah but, you know,” He shrugs, squinting a bit under the morning sun. “Relapses happen.”

Joel and Lee are at a stand still, and the moment Joel lets the arm leaning on the frame drop to his side, you know youre in for a lot of trouble. You move quickly towards the door. “We have to get ready for a- uh- a thing? but Im sorry about your friend.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Miller. Im doing my best to support her.” And before he turns away, he just has to be slimy to you. “If you need someone to talk to, Im here for you.”

“No, that really wont be necess-”

Joels slinging a strong arm around you to yank you back inside before shutting the door. 

“Motherfucker,” He hisses to himself, stomping through the walkway and into the kitchen.

“How-” You rub your eyes, letting them adjust to the light inside of the house. You put the package down onto the bar counter that opens up the kitchen and follow Joel to the fridge. “How does he know?? I thought-”

“Been living in this house for decades now,” His expression is tight, brows knitted together while he chugs a bottle of water. “People talk. ‘Specially if I'm being rolled into an ambulance on more than one occasion.” Joel frowns. “Fuck- I shoulda punched him in the fuckin’ face- Do you see how hard he tries so hard to flirt with you infront’a me?”

“I know, love. I was there.” You take the bottle from his hand and set it to the side, then wrap your arms around him. “Try not to let it get to you okay?”

Joel sighs into your hair, giving your body a squeeze. “I know, I know, but jus’ hearin’ him tryin’ta use my baggage to make a pass at you…S’fuckin’ evil.”

“I agree, but I dont want his blood on the driveway.”

“So get it on his driveway instead, got it.”

You giggle and tip your head up to kiss him. The tension eases from Joels shoulders, and he cups your cheeks, letting his worries melt away into your mouth. When the pads of his fingers start to slide under your tank top, youre leaning back. Youll be here for a while if this goes any further.

Joel mindlessly chases your lips, looking a bit pouty now that its over.

“Im gonna start getting ready for the barbecue, okay?”

“This early?”

“I like being punctual.” 

“My brother wont give a damn if were late.” He noses your jaw, pressing a kiss here and there. Your knees are beginning to feel weak. The bastard is trying to distract you.

“But I do. The farmers market opened today, and I promised Maria I'd get her fresh strawberries before we got there, remember?”

“Alright, alright.” He grumbles into your shoulder.

Joel lets you go, watching you round the bar counter to get your package and disappear upstairs.

-

Ever since you came down to a freshly showered Joel, and got into the car with the gift bags you prepared for Maria and Tommy, Hes been staring at you. One wrong move and the drools gonna start pouring out of his mouth.

Your hair is in its relatively natural state, freshly washed and shiny from the oil you put in it. You put on some light makeup, and went a bit heavy handed on the blush to look sunkissed, and topped it off with a flavored lip gloss Joel especially enjoys. 

Now, the dress. Its a pink floral mid-length dress, with a low cut sweetheart neckline and a corset style backing to cinch your waist and push out your chest. The material is thick and pretty, and there are two other layers under the skirt to keep its shape. You have on a pair of little pink pumps with little bows to match. 

The drive to the farmers market is fairly peaceful, the windows are half down and theres music playing at low volume on the radio. You and Joel have different tastes in music, but one genre you can always agree on is alternative rock. 

The weathers beautiful, sun high in the sky, and its not too hot or humid. The day really is perfect. Youre gonna soak up some sun when youre at the barbecue. Hopefully, they made lemonade again too.

Joel has been mostly quiet throughout your shopping. While it would worry some, youve been with him long enough to know that he just has a lot on his mind. What hes thinking about? Maybe youll learn when you make it back home at the end of the day.

You gasp, strolling through the grass to a stand with a mountain of apples. Granny smith, Macintosh, Pink Ladys, Honeycrisp, the works. He grunts, trying to keep the things that are already in your basket steady. You came for strawberries and are going to leave with much more than that.

Joel nudges you softly. “Remember, this is quality stuff, meaning itll go bad faster. Dont get too much.”

“Okay, got it.” You beam, and then begin inspecting the Pink Lady apples first, trying to find the ones with the best color.  He keeps the basket within reach so you can drop your picks in.

"These were Sarahs favorites."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, it was funny 'cause we started arguin' over these or Red Delicious. I think Red Delicious is better."

"Thats so cute! Hmm. Should we get one for her? A Pink Lady?"

"Uh," He thinks on it for a moment, unsure, but the smile on your face helps him make a decision. "Sure, why not."

You drop two perfect Pink Ladys into the basket, moving onto the next pile.

“Hey, Joel.” You grin, holding out a wrinkled granny smith apple. “This one looks like you”

“Ha ha.” He deadpans, and grabs it from you to put back. In turn, hes reaching for the runt of the pile. A pathetically small one sitting near the bottom. “Now this one looks like you.”

“Does not!”

“Does too.” 

The next stand has golden kiwis, and youre practically dragging Joel forward to try them. You ask for one, and the man at the stand slices it into halves, giving you a plastic spoon to go with. 

You let Joel smell it first. “S’good.”

“Lets see if it tastes good.”

You sink your spoon into it, humming when you see how soft and easy it is to scoop out. In your mouth it goes!

Its tastes sweet, a bit mango-y and fucking delicious. You bounce in place, spoon feeding Joel next. “Oh yeah,” He smiles, smacking his lips a bit to really let the taste settle on his tongue. “Were takin’ some of these.”

You take one, then two, then three and four then five and as you reach for the sixth one, Joels stopping you with a gentle hand. 

“Darlin’.” 

“Right.” 

For the next few stands its just you and Joel trying various kinds of fruit. Starfruit, blueberries, some mangos, and then youre going back to the truck.

“I think my favorites were the mangos and golden kiwis. I hope Maria and Tommy have enough space in their fridge for all of this.”

“They moved into a bigger house, I reckon their fridge s’probably bigger, too.”

“What time is it?” 

You let go of Joels arm so he can switch the basket from one hand to the other. 

“‘Bout…” Hes squinting at his watch. “12:34 in the afternoon.”

“Oh! Guess we got the shopping done sooner than I expected. Hmm. Should we stop somewhere in the mean time?-" You snap your finger when you remember something. "They opened up this cafe that has cats in it! We can drink coffee and play with them for bit! The next fourty-five minutes will go by super fast."

“Youre gonna make Cement jealous.”

You bat your hand dismissively. “Hes not gonna caaare.” 

“Oh yes he will. And remind me again why we named our cat Cement?

“Uh, we were both drunk and had gotten him the day before without a name picked out?”

“A whole year later and we still kept it. Worst pet owners ever.” Joel chuckles, opening the passenger door for you like he always does. 

“Thank you.”

“Mhm.”

The giant basket of fruit goes into the back seat next to the gift bags before Joel slots himself into the drivers seat. 

You fumble with the radio a bit, trying to see what else is on but ultimately landing back on your preferred station. Theyve been playing a lot of Linkin Park recently. Hell yeah. Joel buckles himself in at last, and pulls out of the parking lot. 

“Marias gonna teach me how to make baked chicken,” You hum, gazing outside the window.

“You sure youre not jus’ unteachable?”

“Ha ha,” You lightly shove his shoulder, making him smile. “I thought you loved the meat sauce pasta I learned how to make.”

He settles into his seat more comfortably at the stop light, elbow rested on the window. “Got me with that one. Think I like ground turkey over beef, though.”

“Yeah? Me too. The beef tastes better but the turkey is lighter. Stops me from feeling all sick.”

“Agreed.”

Youre looking out the windshield now. Where did all the buildings go? Youre out of the city. 

“Uh, Joel?”

“Mm?”

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere to kill time.”

“Yeah but where?”

“Youll see.” 

Your brows pinch together. “I see a whole lot of nothing except for trees."

“Almost there.”

Joel makes a hasty left turn onto some campgrounds. Your stomach starts to twist into excited knots. Is he gonna show you a baby deer or something? Bunnies? He used to be a park ranger for this area, and would tell you stories about all sorts of baby animals hed run into.

The car comes to a stop, and he turns the engine off. Silence.

“So…Were out in the woods to kill time?”

“Mhm.” Joel unbuckles his seat belt and twists into the back to grab the spare jacket he usually keeps there, then gets out of the truck and comes around the back to open the door for you. 

He holds your hand to help you get down from the passenger side, and as soon as both of your shoes hit the ground Joel is on you. 

You dont know where your hands should go, youve kissed Joel a thousand times and yet you still get so flustered when he catches you by surprise. You keep your hands on his shoulders for now, letting him press wet kisses to your neck and shoulder.

“This is new right? The dress?” He gives your ass an appreciative squeeze through the fabric. “Thought you looked so pretty when you came down stairs in it.” 

Your heads spinning. Something about your dress? 

“Woulda been okay if you let me have you earlier.” He pulls away, examining your flushed face cradled by his hand. Every part of you just fits so well in his palms. “Then I thought, why not have you now? We got time to spare.”

“Joel- We- Someone could see us-” You sputter, and Joels already shaking his head with a knowing smirk. He pulls you around to the bed of the truck, popping it open, only pausing to spread open the jacket he grabbed, just having just thrown it in there when he came around to get you.

“No ones gonna come lookin’ for us.” He turns you around, pushing you down onto your front. “As long as youre quiet.” 

Fuck. You really hate this game. At least, you like to tell yourself that.

Blood rushes to your ears while Joels rough palms lift up the skirt of your dress, exposing your ass and thighs to the cool air. He whistles from behind you. 

“Red lace panties?” His fingers dont shy away from tracing along the fabric covering your cunt. “This new too?”

You crane your neck over your shoulder to look at his face. “Uh.. Surprise?”

Joels smiling now, fingers dipping under the lace. “Thas' awfully sweet of you.”

His touch slips and slides around your growing wetness, then trails down to your clit. Your voice wobbles a bit and fuck- fuck hes going too fast. “Joel- Ah-” You whimper and try to push yourself up to look at him but his hand is steady on your spine, keeping you down. 

Smug, “Go on, sweetheart. Keep sayin’ my name. Jus’ like that.”

A whine escapes you when he pulls away, “Nooo.” You push your ass back, as if to entice him. You succeed, because hes skipped his usual routine of fucking you with his hands and is now unbuckling his belt.

Joel rolls you onto your back, and peels your underwear all the way off, bunching it up and shoving it into his back pocket. Your face burns just watching him.

“Think i'll hold onto these for a lil’ while.”

His hands push the back of your knees towards your chest, exposing your heat. Youll never get used to the way he just seems so interested just watching your cunt squeeze around nothing. 

“Thats-” You swallow, pushing yourself up onto your elbows. "Joel.”

“Relax." He coos, "Seen it a thousand times already, and ill be seein' it a thousand more. Get used to it, honey.”

Your attention flickers down to where his dick is about to meet your entrance. Joels nudging you down onto your back again and pulling the top of your dress down to expose your chest. Its when youre distracted that he actually moves to push himself in.

Both of you groan together, and Joel could never get bored of fucking you, not when your cunt just pulses around him everytime hes inside you.

Joel wastes no time fucking you once he eases all the way inside. Youre trying your best to keep quiet. Shit is no easy task. Its like Joel is trying to get you guys arrested.

He props himself up with a hand near your head, and lets the other keep one of your legs pinned open. The moans start to claw out of your throat. “Joel- Joel-” 

“Shh. Thas’ enough.” He growls through his teeth, fucking you harder. “Youre gonna- Gh- Get us caught-”

Something rustles between the trees, making you both freeze. You clasp your hands over your mouth, watching Joel straighten up to look around.

After a few seconds of squinting, Joel can see a few foxes moving about through the trees. Thank fuck. His shoulders visibly relax.

Hushed, “E-Everything okay?”

“Yeah, jus’ some animals.” 

And like that, hes back to it. His dick is going to make your eyes permanently stay rolled into your head. 

Joel is always just so handsome when hes pounding into you. His forehead gets shiny with sweat, and his jaw is tight from clenching his teeth, keeping himself quiet so he can focus on your moans. His face is noticeably redder against his usual farmers tan too. Really, hes just so attractive.

A flurry of yes and harder and fuck spills out of your mouth and into your palms. Not too loud, you try to remind yourself.

“Joel- S’too much-”

“Nah, thas’ not it.” He huffs, humorous. “You can take it. Y'always do. In fact, you love gettin’ your cunt bullied by me, aint that right?” As if to get his point across, he thrust in all the way to the hilt, making you keen. You forgot how to breathe, lungs drawing tight in your chest.

"Fuck," You manage to squeeze out.

Your palms push weakly at his shoulders, trying to ground yourself somehow. His head drops to the junction of your neck and shoulder, inhaling deeply.

“You good?” He checks in, breath hot on your skin. As if your crying isnt enough.

“So g-good, Joel- Fuck- Youre so good.” 

With a little nod, Joels pushing himself up, switching to slow and deep strokes, really digging himself into you, and trying to find that spot he likes to call home.

He massages your chest, then squeezes your sides and your hips and finally, his thumb finds your clit. Immediately, you jolt. 

“Oh fuck-” 

“Quiet.” And he says it to keep the charade going, even though his favorite thing is hearing your sobs.

His thumb rubbing incessantly against your that sweet little nub of yours. You choke, and Joels chuckling, watching the way you squirm, body not knowing whether it should lean into his touch because its too good or away because its too much.

It starts with this firey feeling under the pad of his thumb, then deep inside your stuffed cunt. Youre going to cum. 

Your hands fly to your mouth again, and you get all wide eyed from the sensation. Its cute. Your muscles pull taut, legs locking around Joels hips. Youre wailing into your palm when it happens.

“Good girl,” His voice soothes you through it. “Very good.”

He pets away the fly aways sticking to your sweaty face when its over. Your eyes drop shut while you catch your breath. 

Joels moving again now. He rolls his hips a few times, and thumb is building the foundation of another orgasm in you. Youre shaking badly.

Your words slur too, “Cant- Too soon- Joel- Joel-”

“Another one.” Joel says firmly, but breathless. 

Youre gasping, not sure where to focus your eyes. The trees around you look like theyre spinning. Your attention is back on Joel, whos looking rather satisfied watching you squirm and cry. If thats how wants to play, then fine.

Your hands slide up Joels biceps, and rests on the nap of his neck to bring him down. “Juh-Joel,” You pant, cradling his face with both hands. “Youre so good- The best-”

Oh, Joel likes that one, you can tell by the way he looks away briefly. Shyness. Excitement runs up your spine. Joel loves being told hes doing well. 

“You are- Nghh-” You swallow the drool in your mouth, trying to get the words out clearly. “The best husband I could ever ask for.”

Joel wheezes, head dropping into the curve of your shoulder. “Please.”

“S’true,” You nod rapidly, fingers curling into his hair. “Youre so good to me and-and youre mine and- Joel-  Im yours.”

“Jesus-” He groans, soaking up the feeling of you pressing kisses to his face and up his jaw. 

“Hhah-  No one else can have me, okay? No one- Not even-”

The name doesnt even come out of your mouth before Joels coming to a stop to slip his arms all the way around your middle. With the new leverage he has on your body, hes drilling his way into you. You fucking squeal, rules now long forgotten. Youre a useless ragdoll in his arms and he wouldnt have it any other way.

Your lips are shiny with spit and left over lip gloss, and he can still taste the mintiness in his tongue. Every now and again your eyes drop shut, but his dick just punches into your guts a little harder. Look at me. 

Your brain is mush, just the way he likes it, and youre perfectly pliant in his arms, babbling over how good you feel. Hes kisses along the valley of your breasts now, stopping to suck the flesh of your nipples.

Youre just so pretty. Even when you have bedhead, or youre snotty from a cold, or youre all dirty from working in the garden  youre still so pretty. Including now, all sweaty with you lipgloss all smudged and your mascara starting to run. Youre perfect. 

Joel grunts loud, jaw clenched tight as he gets lost in the feeling of your insides. His perfect little wife.

When he cums, hes doubling over with a loud grunt, getting a few last thrusts in before his spent floods your cunt.

Youre blinking away your tears, now watching the clouds inch along the sky. It really is a beautiful day. You pet Joels sweaty hair, and kiss the side of his temple. Your core throbs faintly. Jesus, he did a number on you.

“Love,” You say softly, patting his back.

“Mm?”

“Get up.” Another pat. “Youre squishing me.” 

Joel backs off to buckle himself up, but you stay seated to catch your breath and adjust your dress. At least it didnt get ripped during all the… Commotion. Not like last time.

“I need my underwear back.”

“Nope,”

“Joel.”

He kisses the center of your forehead and helps you down from the bed and into the passenger seat instead.  “Told you i'm keepin’ ‘em.”

You sputter, “I cant go to barbecue commando!”

“Sure you can.” He pops open the glove compartment and gets out some tissues, hand snaking under your dress again to clean you. You sigh softly at the sensation.

“Youre the worst.”

“I am indeed the worst.” Joel pulls the seatbelt over your chest and clicks it in. “You can tell me all about it on the way to Tommys.” 

[skrunksthatwunk]

IT DIDN'T POST FOR SOME REASON BUT UPDATE WE'RE GOOD WE ARE SO GOOD WE'RE FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

but also if it didn't go well please know i was going to post this like immediately afterwards

ALSO a couple of turkey vultures landed on our roof shortly after!!! i only got to see this one but i Never see them in our neighborhood <33 so we got blessed by the birds basically

ohhhhh im about to be so brave guys you don't even know (<- drenched in cold sweat shaking shuddering heaving wailing thrashing sobbing howling)

[jennilah]

hi there!

please do share your thoughts on canon vs non canon (TO YOU) scenes from saw if you feel like it

this seems like a fun topic to explore 👁

i was thinking about this all day im gonna hella ramble too much

to reiterate and expand on what i kinda said in that post's tags: im genuinely cautious when it comes to the canonicity of deleted scenes and script changes for most things because, well, things dont get included in the final product for a reason sometimes.

trust me i know about deleted scenes. ive had months of work erased from existence because of deleted scenes. and sometimes it really was for the best

and im equally if not more skeptical of things like.. lore coming from outside sources. if its not in the original media, its questionable. film novelizations, game adaptions, spin-off comics, all that stuff is usually written by some third party with little to no input from the real writers. unless it gets some serious seal of approval and that shit actually gets referenced in the next film, then im like "ok im listening." Otherwise, i shrug it all off as maybe-canon side adventures until contradicted

THAT SAID

sometimessss those nuggets of lore or characterization from deleted scenes/iffy canon off-shoot material are sick af so we just kind of adopt it anyway!!! we all do it!!!

ALSO

FUCKIN. The goddamn Saw franchise makes me insane with the different cuts of each film so we basically choose our favorite canon already. so. its a bit loosey goosey here sometimes

ok first of all i KNOW im gonna forget things so imma just kind of list and describe what i can remember off the top of my head. i dont actually have things like the scripts memorized i only know some moments that get passed around between us little freaks like drugs

like this one

i dont care if this doesnt happen on-screen in Saw IV, it happens in my heart

and this little bit of characterization from all 3 goofballs here despite us not really seeing much of it in the film:

Strahm being a butthead just interrupting Perez and Hoffman having a nice little talk because he hates his ass so much

Hoffman being more of the annoying little flirt that i know he is in my heart

Perez being charmed by him, the two of them having a cute little bonding moment as acquaintances for a moment there, and then STRAHM AGAIN being a butthead

i love them. i LOVE THEM

its very important to me that Perez kind of liked Hoffman. it makes his betrayal hurt so much more

this whole moment. i love this. ough. as much as i loved this scene already, in my head i pretend the scene played out like this....

falls onto his ass

angel of death

my fucking goodness

also, i cant list off everything because theres so much its a little depressing, but there's a lot going on in the Saw 3D script that is tragically cool. they really leaned into Hoffman going off the deep end and i enjoyed that. and how grisly his scar was originally supposed to be, and the symbolism with his declining mental state. and his interactions with Lawrence being a little more fleshed out. its just kind of neat. i think the film would have been a bit stronger if they stuck closer to a few of their earlier ideas

edit: OH MY GOD HOW CAN I FORGET ABOUT DELETED FILMED SCENES LIKE THE ROCKSTAR MOMENT. THAT HAPPENED OK U CANNOT TELL ME OTHERWISE. and amanda is 100% haunted by what she did to Adam

and as for spin-offs that are absolutely not canon, this description of Hoffman from the video game from Tapp's POV is intriguing.

i love annoying and weird colleague Hoffman but i also really enjoy the idea of shy and weird colleague Hoffman.

also, boring cop Hoffman who wont bend the rules? that is so much more interesting than the hashtag brutality moment.

too bad this game is like. well. yknow. not very good. i dont think thats a controversial statement

but you know what IS good?

Saw the Musical

thats canon to me. no notes

[ganondoodle]

i am so extremely confused on how you can acknowledge belly dancing not needing to be sexual yet. still insist that nintendo is sexualizing young gerudo with the attire. the makeup, heels and how impractical it is to wear the shit they wear in the desert i understand. im not defending those design mistakes. but??? jfc.

oh. so, assuming you are the same anon as before, you WERE asking in bad faith then, or are intentionally missunderstanding what im saying, got it, and now you are trying to twist my words around to fit your little narrative about me being the problem and not mega corporation uwu nintendo with a history of racism (to which this issue is extremely attached to)

so, since you apparently didnt understand what i said, and didnt watch the video i attached either, bc that goes into detail of everything as well, im gonna spell it out once more, and i will even EMPHASIZE words like THIS, so its easier to understand, just for you <3

i did NOT say that the 'belly dance' outfit doesnt NEED to be sexual, i SAID it is/was not sexual IN ITS ORIGIN, BUT was TURNED INTO what boils down to nothing else but a sexy strippers outfit by western people and has been used as NOTHING BUT sexual for decades in the vast majority of media of all kind-

which MEANS, that although in ORIGIN it might not have been sexual, the unfortunate PROBLEM is that through its extreme popularization as such you now have to assume IT IS sexual, bc that is pretty much ALWAYS the intent, people dont even know it as anything but a sexual thing

and before you can even say the "well maybe they didnt intent it a such" blah blah, this is NOT SOLELY about the outfit itself being the only problem here, its the whole package, even if they DID have good intentions or did it subconsciously (which, mind you, should also tell you just how much this kind of picture of middle eastern people has been spread, how common it is to see them like this that its what most people actually think they are like) it nevertheless sends a certain message, and again, ITS THE WHOLE FUCKING PACKAGE, everything, from outfit, to design elements, to dialog, to lore, to even camera angles, you cannot view it as a seperate thing bc it is, inherently, not able to be seperated from everything, its as if you took an incredibly racist caricature, zoomed in and said "LOOK they used a realistic kind of skin tone, its totally not racist!!"

you also called these design decisions "mistakes", but they are not, in fact mistakes, a mistake is when you notice after posting a drawing that you forgot to color in a strand of hair, however, ALL of these design and writing decisions are deliberate, they had to sit down, in a giant team of people, to come up with it, then proceed to design and write it, approve it, make it, and ship it, and saw no problem with it, which is a problem

now, im not saying nintendo personally is telling you "its ok to fuck kids", but things have meanings, and if you are making something, ESPECIALLY using something that isnt of your own culture, you should think about things, and what meanings a thing can have attached to, they are a giant corporation, not a single, very uninformed at best- or very racist at worst, human being, they have the means to do research, but they did not do it or think its fine, maybe even good, which deserves to be called out

i am a big, and longtime, zelda fan, but beign a fan of something doesnt mean you cannot criticise it, or aknowledge that its in many ways flawed, part of being a fan is being able to recognize things that are bad and demand better

if you send me another ask spouting bullshit or purposefully missunderstanding what im saying im gonna punt you into the filthy barrel of blocked porn bots, bc i dont have anon messages enabled to receive shit like this but to allow people who might be too shy to send normal asks to talk to me.

jfc.

[infernaltenor]

maybe im just a super salty person bc its 5am and im Still not sleepingn and Still thinking about it but i cant help but feel that qtubbo fans are some of the most hypocritial people ive ever seen. this is like. full of generalizations and just observations ive made as a crow and im. typically defensive and salty so im gonna try to be objective but at the very least im not trying to neg on the characters or the ccs, since im directing this towards the fans. its also like a solid two months of build up .so. oops?

but uh. how to start explaining this. well for one im taking this as a recent fan who is a phil watcher pretty much only. but i tend to chronically read posts about other characters since when im into things i like to be informed on all cases (idk constant instinct i have lol). like i said im gonna focus on qtubbo here, if i go into qphil stuff its purely as a comparison point. i cant speak much on interactions with other fanbases since i simply am Not informed enough but yknow.

for one, i think both tubbo and phil ahve similar things when remembering lore that is Not their own. not a neg on either one, since i dont expect them to remember it, but both have forgotten major stuff recently, ie. fred's kidnapping (phil) and the birdhouse (tubbo). both things happened before purgatoryand the subsequent forgetting happened after so even in character it makes sense (they had more to worry about), but i also think reactions in character tends to fuck with audience perception. ie, tubbos very visceral reaction to the ill timed fred joke phil had made (and it was ill timed, and thats all that i feel was criminal about it. tubbo and phils friendship is very much based on banter and friendly barbs, lots of teasing from either side. phil simply shot back on a smilar level as tubbo had originally, making his joke about "phil and who?". other people have spoken on that so im not gonna rehash about whos comment was worse, since imo they were both just shy of being insensitive, had tubbo not been dealing with freds presumed death at the time. im not gonna talk about the funeral, becasue if i do i'll get mad.). likewise, when tubbo forgot birdhouse phils reaction was much less outwards. he just said a birdhouse wouldnt be slaying- given the imprisionment he had, it makes sense that phil would associate it negatively, especially since it catalzyed all of his future derealization episodes. both of these are simply ooc things imo, from their original standpoint. i dont think either is in the wrong for forgetting. but what annoys me is the fandom perception.

this is a problem im going to link back heavily to purgatory. im not sure if it was present beforehand, as i only really got into qsmp the last two-three weeks in october (bad timing) and had only really been watching vods in order to catch up. that being said, i think the bolas and soulfire rivalry had widened the gap between the fans, which in turn affects negative perception. later weeks in november had full bad faith interpretations of phil because he was critical of tubbos choices or simply didnt understand sunnys character perfectly. and there were. a lot of those. purgatory had happened just a few weeks prior, so i liken it to that. maybe it is just my expierence, but the phrasing of a lot of character crit and analysis between the two has wildly different interpretations of a character (to wildly different results)

you can get qphil fans explaining against a bad faith interpretaiton, and people will (and have) called them excuses to defend against character analysis. i have noticed, however, when qtubbo fans do the same thing (and they have) it seems to be more of a matter of adding context to the conversation. thats.... exactly what qphil fans are doing however? when talking critically about qtubbo not communicating with other parents and friends both his and sunny insecurities, its all that hes younger and in a bad mental state. but you have something about phil not understanding sunnys character perfectly, and hes a cruel stepmother and such; and when an explanation is added to why hes not a bad father nor a good father, just an imperfect one trying his best, its simply a "mindless defense against a crit of his character". are these not the same things? providing context to a percieved bad faith interpretation? idk. i cant tell if its the age or the percieved roles theyre supposed to take, but why is tubbo allowed to be imperfect and doused in outward angst, especially when interacting with other characters (ramon had to take the initiative to communicate with tubbo. and yet. age age age.) phils just as complex and imperfect and unwell. all of qsmp is unwell. it is an explanation, not an excuse.

anyway. i think i was thinking about this because of the flightless bird/ostrich dna joke. ill timed, just like the fred one. but phils reaction speaks volumes doesnt it? if its an age one maybe he'll overdramaticize, but he laughs it off mostly. theres a lot he laughs off. he doesnt. "if your kid wasnt here id kill you". tubbo doesnt know about phils failed flight. he probably wont for a while (i cant help but think qphil is embarassed. he was knocked unconcious from hitting the water too hard. and he knows how to fly? fuck, man). i think its wild, however, that one fred joke gets the entire fanbase ready to deface and mischaracterize the whole character. but one wing joke gets maybe shocked laughter and about two posts complaining? idk. maybe im just complaining about nothing, im tired as fuck.

tldr is that tubbo fans are so wildly hypocritical that they cant see when theyre doing the same thing as everyone else. im sure im being hypocritical in this post, its human. but its annoying as fuck when its everywhere, and i think purgatory made it worse.

[imunderthegoddamnwater]

My Multiverse's Paperjam and Gradient, honestly Gradient had such a glow down :(

Also yes, Error and İnk does gives a fuck about their kids, they arent perfect ofcourse but they try, Also Paperjam be nice to your family, its hug time like it or not >:(

Ekon is also a part of the family but he isnt in this photo, and yes, I am aware the creator of Ekon is a proshipper, I do NOT support them, I only like the character, Also I dont ship Ekon with Nightmare just to be clear

A bit of their lore:

Paperjam isnt from the same multiverse like rest of his family, he belongs to another multiverse where his Error and İnk fight caused him to be born, he was made from the left over from their attacks, like İnk's paint and Error's strings, which is pretty much the canon part, however what not canon was that my İnk visiting other multiverses and finding Paperjam, he thinked İf he exist he probably has a purpose so he took him back to his multiverse, Error (despite finding the whole kid from another multiverse idea weird) ended up getting attached to Paperjam. Meanwhile Gradient is a whole new story, he isnt fully a child of Error and İnk, he can be count as one but he was created in a lab by Gaster, he was meant to be a "combo" Just like other combos, but it went a bit differently then it was suppose to be, he still can be count as a combo but he doesnt looks like one. Error is the one who found him when he was walking around in the anti-void, first he thought he was an au and wanted to kill him but when he figure out he was a "child" of him and İnk, he took him instead (honestly Im starting to think baby fever got them and thats why İnk and Error took Gradient at this point)

Paperjam is literal ink and paint, he's not a skeletonish creature unlike the canon one, water will damage him so he's scared of it, he is quite sarcastic and gives people cold shoulder, he doesnt believes he has a purpose or a thing he needs to do, so he is quite lazy. He has a significant other he's planing to propose soon.

Gradient...a literal pshyco, he usually is shy and refuses to talk, his voice does sound very weird, he likes making digital art and is a perfectionist, he spends hours on his creations but always deletes it because he thinks they are flawed and bad. He (unlike İnk) cant take it when he someone makes a "perfect" art, there is a high chance he'l destroy the art work and/or eliminate the creator, the jealiousy always takes the better of him. He is aroace.

I didnt writers that much for Ekon yet but he is also from a different multiverse.

[dynamic-k]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I FORGOT TO PUT A QUESTION YESTERDAY IM SO SORRY-

Yeah, it was my friends birthday today. I had to paint a notebook for them, and it took soo long. Sorry I wasn't able to ask you a question

These asks are literally my social life XD Well that's life being an introvert

hmmm... Okay. What are the government planning to do? What does King want with Vic? I know its the enhancement serum, but why does he want it, and why did he make so many projects, eg: Project Kinetic?

Also does KO feel bad about Project Kinetic and how it affected Agent? At least- I assume Project Kinetic is related to the villain Kinetic.

Does Purple feel bad? Do they even know the effects of their actions?

Does KO or Purple have powers?

that was a lot of questions '''^v^)

You don't have to answer them if you don't want to, and Have a wonderful day!!

-R

:D Birthdays are busy days, how could I be mad?

I'm an ambivert, I get the worst of both worlds- XD [*pained laughing*] why do i crave interactions like coffee and cronchy ice cubes, and yet also freeze up and get all awkward and shy when someone speaks to me- why-

The government's plans can be figured out, actually! I hinted at it within those two government employed sticks' conversation~ Read every word carefully~~ U v U

What King wants with Vic...

Well, that will be explained better in chapter eight- O w O

Project Kinetic is my most favorite lore bit from Arc One~ King really convinced the guy to test out this dangerous serum he attempted to make, in the hopes of it turning out to be a successful enhancer. And then Kinetic literally melted into goop- XD

King: [*disappointed air punch*]

King: Sticks and circuits! Back to the drawing board-

The very specific motives King has for wanting an enhancement serum will be revealed in time. And yes, King has powers, hence his wanting the serum. Purple doesn't, but he maybe possibly might have something of a techy machinery flying upgrade~?

I'm not saying anything, you'll never make me talk-!! /more-total-lying, I-REALLY-cannot-keep-my-mouth-shut

King does feel remorse for Kinetic's sake. He is a good father to Purple and cares for stick's lives in general. But he is also very angry with... some someone[s]. And this may have something to do with the fate of a certain gold colored stick. And this may have something to do with a revengeful plan of King's. Which may have something to do with a search for a SUCCESSFUL power enhancing serum. Which may have something to do with V- [*gets cut off*]

Does Purple feel bad? Purple technically hasn't done anything. ....yet.

We'll get there when we get theerre~

ALSO I SHALL HAVE YOU KNOW I MAYBE MIGHTA NEARLY FINISHED CHAPTER EIGHT JUST TODAY BECAUSE YOU HAVE MY BRAIN ROTATING AROUND SO MUCH LORE-

...expect an updatey very sooney-

[pielove123clan]

Failure, for the OC thing!

Thanks for asking because I got that vampire autism and don't talk much about my ocs. The thing with my ocs though is I purposly leave them open-ended, im never done developing and changing them. I did all my ocs if you don't mind. The thing is, I need to give my ocs more trauma. I'm too nice with them. None of these are fandom related, their just general ocs in my head.

Question: What's your OC's greatest failure? Have they been able to move past it? Does anyone else know about it?

Aparna: She is an undead zombie housewife who can turn into a giant rabbit kaiju. I think her greatest failure is going to be going to sleep when moments before her huband was trying to reson out why she should let him kill her. She was opposed but her husband was able to talk Aparna down like, "Ok honey, this idea was kind of silly, Your right, I don't know why I thought this would be a good idea. Let's go to bed." And then when she fell asleep, her husband killed her. No one else knows this and she's been trying to move past it, look on the bright side because the killing was done to make her 'immortal', it was just greatly delayed. I still need to do more research on how The Great Depression effected families.

Milicent: She is a woman made up of a bunch of centipedes but looks like a normal ass woman, just glossy. I need to give her a failure because killing people in a time when you were more controled by animal instincts and not fulling a conscious self doesn't feel like much of a failure to her. She just moves on like nothing every happened but she accepts that yeah, she did eat people. That was how she was before. She's not doing it anymore because she prefers engadging with not dead people, but she wouldn't care to do it. She'll tell her adopted child Fleshy when she's older.

Fleshy: Body horror child escaped experiment who is a living virus. Weird stuff I still need to write down fully. Her biggest failure is her existence because she was a mistake from the lab that made her. I think she's moved on fine so far but she's still young, still learning. Milicent is trying to teach her how to live in this human world while being true to her nature, im still trying to work out their dynamic. Milicent is doing her best but some of the stuff she's teaching is maybe questionable.

Fleshy has minor anger and violence issues actually. For example, if someone were to tease her, if they don't noticibly look bigger or stronger or if she knows she could get away with it, her immediate thought is "punishment" as in, she will punish the other person, just like the people at the lab did to her. That means hitting or trying to absorb them or their limbs, and she's ruthless. She's very shy and cowardly to juxtapose that and Milicent is trying to direct her to not solving situations like that with violence.

Marigold: She's an ecology student with a shovel that can dig holes to other dimensions. Letting her father vanish before she could completly say all she wanted to say to him. Before he had suddenly vanished, they had a verbal argument. What I'm working with now is that for some reason, the father is insisting on moving out just as Marigold got accepted to a local university. The day after while Marigold was gone from the house, the home was ransacked, her mother was beaten, and her father was no where to be seen. Im still working on lore for her. Long story short, she find the shovel and she's trying to find her father, the problem is she doesn't know what shes doing. No one knows about it. She used to be very social until her father went missing and her mother got transported to the hospital.

Zovasa: They are a vampire jumping spider person. I guess being easily bribed for their apperance? Because its a scay spider who seems to be around misfortune or bad events, people misinterpret them as the bad omen. It's in Zovasa's instincts and nature though to see misfortune sprits or demons and then suck their blood or ichor, or whatever magic demon juices are in there. But, if you thow Zovasa a bone or give Zovasa any sort of kindness that isn't hatred, that demon is free to do whatever in Zovasa's eyes. They get let off the hook. Zovasa doesn't see it as a failure, just that they'll go a little hungrier but its ok. Zovasa is alone so I guesss only the ones that bribe them know.

Cranberry: Gremlin bog otter cryptid. This thing has no thoughts in its head other than violence. The world is lucky that the Cranberry does not have highest intellect. We are all better off that way. I think the biggest failure is the creators of Cranberry have yet to find a way to control the Cranberry and weild them as force of destruction. A handful have tried only to die out of bloodloss from their fearsomely treacherous claws and mighty sharpened maws. Only few know of the Cranberry breeding lab under the bog.

Milly: Medical student in medical school studying to be a surgeon. How did she pay for medical school without the support of her parents? She signed a shady loan connected to a shady underground organ trafficing ring! That's her biggest failure so far and she can't move past it yet because she needs to work off that debt. She is pretty introverted so no one knows, im still playing around with the idea of Milicent, Milly, and Fleshy being a sort of found family and if that still sticks, Milicent would know and be there for her. Otherwise, I need to make Milly some friends.

Verdell: Haven't written much for him because hes relativly new but he will be a superhero oc, possibly influnced off tokusatsu stuff. He is Milly's brother and the much more favorited child in the family. It would be an easy cop out answer to say in his eyes, his greatest failure is not being able to help everyone while remaining in the spotlight and get that recogition. He does legitimately want to do good and help people but he's also a people pleaser and badly trying to over-compensate. He wants his good deeds to be seen, high praises sung in his honor, to be liked and widly revered worldwide. I don't think he's that subtile so if people wanted to really pay attention, he prioritizes what will give him more eyes, more fame in his heroic endevors. He feels the need to go higher and higher since birth because those high praises are what his family gave, he feels like he needs to live up to that severely. Experimenting on making him Marigold's housemate after the vanishing of her father.

Bake: My tanuki oc! She doesn't see herself as having any major failure in her life but for the most part all she thinks about is eatting and survival as a wild animal, and whatever would get her interest at any given moment. She's a younger character with no role model figure or adult figure in her life. She's really alone. Given her attitude as an animal, has little empathy for others experiences or feelings about death other than a dead thing should stay dead. I think her biggest failure is that she doesn't have any real goals or ambition, no actual reason to strive for continued exsistance other than for survival sake. She just exist, wandering around. She might be depressed but she doesn't know it, because she naps quite a bit. She also really doesn't have any morals unless its just, "This thing will get me killed so don't do that." or "There's food there, food is important for survival. I will take it." Id like to write her more but I get self conscious.

Malinda: This giant red and black spikey dragon. In her eyes, her biggest failure is not getting out of her cave and murdering the king yet because they keep sending these knights to her cave in order to steal from her horde of items. She has a personal vendetta against this one specific king but she can't be bothered yet to take care of it, she's procrastinating. I think her biggest failure is sort of being a hermit and shutting herself off from things. She's a very neutral dragon, almost passive with how much she doesn't care unless something really rouses her. She's just as likely to join a hero's party as much as she is to join the demon lord, its whoever gets to her first and impresses her the most. It's depending on her company how she'll develop.

Lily: My self-insert oc. The easiest way I can describe her species is wolf tulpa person. She specifically has an identity crisis. I made her to try and get through my own trauma and digest it without attacking myself. Wolves are known for their packs and undying loyalty so betraying or deserting them is treason no matter what. She is activly running away from her problems by going around by herself in an RV. She is not able to move past them and that's a major part of her character. She's trying but activly, when she tries to go with other people, to have fun and move past it, feelings kind of consume her. Even one slip up and she gets all scared and withdrawn. She has SAD or Social Anxiety Disorder when she never had that before. She internalizes her greatest failure a lot, the failure to stay and protect the ones she loves and cares about, then seeing them seemingly get corrupted by a miasma right before her eyes, or that dillusion in her part? I purposly make it vauge. I think about Knight Of Despair when thinking about her sometimes. I need to write her but its like staring at a mirror. I can't do it for too long but I'd like to.

[neverchecking]

Hello!!! I’m here to inquire about Aaliyah and Link’s full story as I can’t seem to find it in your Masterlist. If that’s ok? If it’s private and you just wanna just give out tidbits then that’s completely ok!!! I started reading your joint fic constellation and I’m hooked on it and the characters!!! I already went and asked about part four lol!

omgomgomgomgomgomgomg- OKAY I'VE REHEARSED FOR THIS-

I'm so glad you asked!

So, I did release one written portion already -> Here!

But! Im gonna be so real with you guys, I forgot I did it and have not worked on it at all fnofnf

I love answering questions about my girl so ask away! I'm also so glad you like constellations it has my heart fr. Part four is...on its way but with Kinktober and our adult lives (I'm a full time student and Bailey has a big girl job) it kinda got pushed back (And we're in our trigun eras). But it has been started!

So, let's talk about Aaliyah and Sage.

Their story starts in the Pre-Calamity era. Sage is still a knight, however, Aaliyah is now there too! She's a bastard child born out of wedlock to the village of Kakariko-- who take the phrase it takes a village a little too literally.

From very early in her life, Aaliyah is proclaimed the Sheikah Champion and spends her life training for this role. She learns ancient magic regarding rune extraction and usage (Basically how Impa fights in AOC) and in ancient swordsmanship.

She's taken to the castle with Purah and Impa and from there meets the other champions.

Her and Link didn't actually like each other all that much from the start? They were incredibly weary and on edge when the other was around bc of the other's skill set and how they could be an obvious threat to their current missions (Either protecting Zelda or staying with Impa).

Aaliyah actually made friends with Revali pretty easily because she wasn't gifted with this great courage or wisdom or any abilities. It was something she earned and worked incredibly hard to harness, like Revali's gale So they spent their free time talking shit about Link and the other champions in the garden for a while.

Link and Aaliyah only really started getting to know each other after a spar in the garden. Link kicked her ass, make no doubts about it (Lore accurate Link? Are you kidding? Aaliyah never stood a chance.), but after hearing her get her ass chewed out by Impa he bashfully offered a kind shoulder.

The thing about them that I LOVE incorporating into their story is that before they died? These two were honestly so adorable. In my head. But im giving you guess my head lore rn.

Like Aaliyah is the smart one out of them, okay? Let me set this straight. So, she knows things like sign language. So when she mindlessly does a wave of her hand to curse off a noble without them knowing? And Link, who ALSO knows sign language sees this?

OMFG- he chokes on his spit. And she looks over and just flushes this bright red, but has this shy little smile on her face because, 'hey, this guy isn't so bad?'.

Or Link just laying his head in her lap and letting her braid flowers into his hair while they sit in silence or he reads to her??

Or Aaliyah just sitting on a rock, pretending to be writing her daily prayers, but is really watching Link practice his swordsmanship with Fi?

They were that kind of cute.

ANYWAY-

So, in Eye of the Storm, I go into further depth onto how Aaliyah died-- protecting Link and Zelda.

If you haven't read it, heres the run down. They get surrounded by Yiga, and she dies because she sends Link and Zelda back with the slate, acting as a distraction so they have the time to leave.

Demon carver carves her ass.

Link watches, duh, because A) I needed him to have that trauma to form their relationship a little more and B) Traumatizing him is so fun.

Anyway, so she dies. The Sheikah are ancient beings with unyielding loyalty, since they follow the royal family everywhere this is obvious, and are hence incredibly loyal to their champion. They manage to save her with their plan B option. I'm pretty sure I wrote it as a makeshift shrine but it also is probably a little bit of black magic.

Anyway, a century passes. Aaliyah awakes in a place that had long since fell to ruins, mind blank and head empty.

But she's angry. She wakes up so mind numbingly angry and stomps off with her original slate. It's broken and doesn't work, but she uses it like a weapon. Eventually, she runs into Link! Woo, but like...

Imagine you lock two angry cats fighting for territory in a room and them throw a sprinkler in there.

They're both angry. They don't know anything, and resources are sparce, They fight, of course, and both eventually walk off with their tails between their legs. BUT they keep fucking meeting. AND ITS A PATTERN

Except they start relearning things! Like how to fight and how to use a bow, and they get better armor, better equipment. When Link shows up with a shield, she blows his ass up.

At some point, they start expecting to see each other. They stop fighting so much and instead share a campsite.

AND THEN- they happen to be walking towards a stable together and are just HIT with the imagery of her death <3

Thats also a mess that leaves them storming away from each other <3

They meet again in Kakariko and eventually talk it out. Aaliyah goes with him to the castle, does not fall through the floor, instead watched from above like :O. bc shes a dumbass.

She does make sure he stays alive though. Throws a fairy in a bottle at him at some point which hits him and he turns like >:( and she's just 'oops'.

Then they save Zelda yadda yadda. Aaliyah moves on with her life bc her and Zelda prolly hate each other (There is no prolly they do. They HATE each other. Like middle aged white women in PTA's.)

But, Aaliyah is such a big figure head to the Sheikah, there's no real escape. So her and Link slowly redevelop their relationship.

When the gloom starts spreading, Aaliyah remains at the castle base while they go to investigate, working with the people to sort them and everything.

Luckily for her, when Ganon is like >:) I'm back, she doesn't have to experience it first hand because she falls into a gloom pit. Takes her OUT man. She's stuck down there long enough that gloom probably sinks in and she gets super sick because of it

Eventually she finds this weird temple place right? And there's these parts right? Surely you see where I'm going with this

And so she builds this giant robot okay? In her tord Era (omg eddsworld is so old now that I think about it), and meets this...thing okay?

And the thing is like 🤨 u aren't swordsman link and aaliyah is like 🤨 yeah what of it?

And mineru is all ...u did all this? And aaliyah is like yeah suck it bitch. And then mineru is like "aight you cool then. Lemme show you this cool room. It'll give you a cool necklace AND a headpiece. And outfit ig"

So aaliyah gets that green neck piece and hairpiece I've drawn her with once. She doesn't care for the hairpiece but she'll wear it for special occasions.

The link appears FINALLY >:( AND they have this whole Spiderman moment where they're point at each other, as if shocked to see the other)

"I thought you were dead?"

"YOU FUCKING FELL THROUGH A HOLE AND DIDNT THINK TO STAY PUT SO I COULD FIND YOU?"

It's great.

So aaliyah gets her spirit stone as the Sage of spirits and her giant rock.

Then she visits purah gets her own purah pad. She gets to keep her bombs AND stasis bc I said so. And her giant robot.

From there they go around trying to bring order back to their hyrule bc like...Zelda isnt in danger really? They know where she is and she seems fine.

They get a new house bc someone took theirs smh (they were just roommates in that first house guys lmao) and take turns with the shrines to reduce the gloom in their systems

Okay sidebar; when I was doing that aaliyah and Tia bits I wasn't lying about aaliyah being like in hyrule but she's liked in the same sense Robin hood was liked. Nobles hate her

But tulin likes her and so does teba and saki

Yunobo does not.

Sidon and yona think of her and Sage like puppies. Like they are the embodiment of that one meme that's just

Zora, with either hanging off them: GET YOUR FUCKING HYLIAN

Sidon/ Yona: they don't bite 😊

Zora: YES THEY FUCKING DO-

riju also likes them. They are the Honorary siblings of hyrule even if they claim to hate everyone.

There are few people that have gotten through

That being said, they are scary to the average stablehand

They are scarred and ragged and look like if you breath at them wrong they'll fucking gut you.

Which they might but that's not the point

Eventually they run out of reasons to not fight Ganon and have to go...do that

This one they take on together bc they are common law married bc I said so

They've spent so much time together now its only natural. Like yeah its not gay to kiss the homies goodnight but its a little gay when you guys live together cook meals together and lay on the couch talking about life together

Even historians are calling them lovers at this point

So they save Zelda! I hate how end of totk goes and I think she should've STAYED a dragon but also I need her human for the drama between her and aaliyah. Maybe she has horns and scales and she's also now a little fucked up.

Sage KEEPS HIS RAURU ARM HE DOES NOT GET HIS NORMAL ARM. thank you.

Aaliyah and Sage mostly try to live a normal life but yk...

Natura tries to demand Sage back to his knightly role but after everything that just happened he's like "not a chance"

He becomes a lovely househusband that terrifies newcomers in Tarrey town but the locals love him

He offers protection quality recipes and is willing to go Gerudo for this one ingredient Harriet needed for her stew that night

Aaliyah remains a diplomat of sorts since people trust her rather than this figurehead for focused on digging through the remains of her people for info on tech they shouldn't ever try to harness rather than ..yk.... govern.

She tends to stick close to Sage tho

Their relationship is very...codependent. I think I've said this before but these two learn to rely on each other

Its not healthy and I don't condone this type of relationship but it's so fun to write

These two are disgustingly reliant on the other. It's the type of relationship where they only do self care things for the other person to know they're okay

They are grossly jealous individuals, incredibly possessive and will have extremist reactions to people trying to flirt with what's theirs

I cannot emphasize how toxic this is for anyone. But these two make it work

Only these two who are FICTIONAL. THIS IS NOT THE TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP THAT IS HEALTHY. DO NOT LOOK FOR THIS IN A PARTNER.

These two have a history together and with their broken psyche it gets twisted.

But they're happy together and stop their other half from destroying hyrule.

And in the end that's all that matters <3

If you have any other questions regarding these two I'd be more than happy to answer them 😊😊

[terristre]

Could we perhaps get some info on your OCs? Their designs are so cool and they seem really interesting :)

jidsajidoasjiodas SCREAMS sorry its been like a week im just so happy i needed it to be good

uhh heres a good place to start for lore-grounding! alexander graves is a ghost from the 1500s who now serves in the court of the queen of monsters, notably being the only male member of the high court. hes far from a strong fighter, though his strengths are that as a ghost he cannnot die- and that for a ghost, hes VERY good at pretending to be alive

he has a confident, well-spoken air about him but its not hard to pin him as a more introverted, even shy person under it. the sort of person who would prefer keep their head down and go back to their business quietly, but one who holds the people close to him in an adoring regard. (hes NOT in the high court for his power after all- his value is in his kindness) hes been a diligent seamster since a young age & in-canon most of the clothing designs of characters under the queen can be credited to him lol

marcus deangelo THE BIRD BOY OF ALL TIME is alex's notably more introverted angel son. he tends to take the role of the silly goon/errand boy in the queens court & forms a light-hearted team rocket-esque duo with the plague doctor to take back pandora's box, stolen from the queen & brought to the monster hunters

marcus is an immediately curious character because he fits the high-energy genki archetype like a glove & has nothing but positivity for others- but his philosophy towards his own life & future are absolutely bleak. and the thing to pin about him is, he isnt really all that dumb- its more a mix of lack of worldly knowledge & this ascetic fold of catholicism where Bad Things Happen To Me Because I Somehow Deserve Them so he has LITTLE self-preservation & accepts misfortune without a fight

alexander holds the same self-poisoning principles, but marcus is the only one naive enough to say the quiet parts out loud. its not something the man ever pushed upon his sons but rather something they adopted themselves after seeing it from their role model. congrats to them for inheriting all their fathers positive traits AND his negative traits theyre both adopted btw

YES THIS IS AN INTERGENERATIONAL TRAUMA PLOTLINE anyways marcus talks to animals all the time & it makes other people think he actually has the power to communicate with them but He Does Not. also sometime his misinformed beliefs about the world will coincidentally line up with what europeans thought in medieval times & its like. who told you that buddy. HOMESCHOOLING if i dont know it you dont either LMAO

OUR BAT FRIEND IS THE PLAGUE DOCTOR! appearances can be deceiving my friend shes a recently-turned vampire whose only powers, really, are turning into a bat & burning in sunlight <:3c she refused to swear loyalty to the queen of monsters but couldnt bring herself to return to her old life Now Thats Shes A Monster so shes just kinda been. tossed around the court until she tragically rattled down to The Fuckers Whose Entire Personalities Are Being Catholic

if there is a musical episode the plague doctor is the one who goes WOAH WAIT WHATS GOING ON every day she wakes up & tries SO HARD to understand whats happening around her. shes definitely struggling to keep her miserable life together but despite that her kindness & good humor tend to shine through, most of the others actually quite enjoy her company the problem is shes always like "IM BETRAYING YOU GUYS FIRST CHANCE I GET"

but yeah as mentioned she makes for a good duo with marcus, hes great at fighting & she actually understands human society so together they make One Functional Person when venturing out of monster society lol. curiously for someone who doesnt want to be there, the plague doctor chose to assist in the chase for pandora's box of her own free will

[rjschoicesstuff]

Musical Chairs game at the start of Book 1 + final 3some scene at the end of Book 2. How would those be different for Rippy + her Gabe and Cas? I think I remember you doing some drawings for the musical chairs some months back but still

Musical chairs scene:

I like the scene as it is because it gives you the choice whose lap to sit on + who to show interest to and I think that works best for Choices I guess. + I think it's funny with them both wanting to be chosen and getting pissy at each other and stuff and having that power in the scene. (Tho I think it could also work with mc sitting down and the choices are more about how you'll let mc react)

Howeverrr I do feel like Ripley would be like 'okay I'll join in' and sit down herself. Both due to being more into letting people come to her and show their interest and because she wonders if Cas will just back off if he has to play like that (he doesn't). I also like how Gabriela would act extra nervous while Cas is kinda just circling Ripley like she's prey lmao. When Gabe sits on her lap she's just comfortable and they're both rly giddy and stuff, acting a bit silly, Cas is definitely rolling his eyes at them. While when Cas sits in her lap she gets shy and a bit nervous and he'd tease her for it lol. I think it'd be so funny like everyone is just having fun while those 2 r just in a whole competition over who gets to sit in Ripley's lap. Tho it's only really about Ripley for Gabe, at that point in Time Cas is just trying to keep Gabe away from her because he can't stand seeing her with other people.

Linking the artworks of the scene again cuz they apply here hehe

3some scene:

(Note that due to my version being written before book 2 being out, when I speak about book 2, I just go with the canon lore and backstories and just reimagine the scene if I feel like it'd be different with Ripley and stuff)

Ok bye the cut didnt work but stop reading here if u dont wanna see nsfw ish talk:

So like I like this scene and I think they gave The People what they wanted lol. And it felt like a sign like ok these 2 rly have Accepted that mc loves them both and can love them both at the same time + they have accepted each other too now, u kno? Like by the end of book 2 they have become a package deal to me.

But ok that said, I like to imagine it wouldn't have been a 3some. Like it'd still be too soon for Cas and Gabe and instead it's mainly just heated kissing and caressing and stuff. And everyone, including Ripley is still sorta figuring out how to do this whole thing with 3 people. It'd be awkward, I think they'd kinda be in each others way sometimes and stuff. But they'd all be like rly giddy abt it lol, they're having fun and that's what matters. And cuddles and talking afterwards.

It's like that too in my version when they get more intimate as a trio for the 1st time, I honestly don't know if they'd ever have a 3some until becoming a triad, because I think they'd both just wanna throw themselves on Ripley, but Ripley feels a bit like a fish out of water when she's mainly on the receiving end? So she prefers just one on one until then. I think part of the fun for her is seeing them Together too. I like the idea of maybe one tipsy 3some that happens before becoming a triad where the next day everyone is just like 😳🤭😳 u know which emoji is Ripley. Maybe they never even rly have that talk like ok we're a triad now lol im derailing so bad im calling it quits now LOL.

[cerealmonster15]

[background template source!]

hmm yknow what. maybe i was supposed to describe the unique magic in that bottom box. oh well teehee!!!!!

updated references for twst rsa ocs Char and Dañarte!!!!! for now. i'll add them to artfight soon!!! I was gonna do another one for Dañarte's Scarabia Era but I worked on these all week.... so i'll just do that one separately sometime maybe lol. anyway i've posted about these guys a lot as u can see from the tags i gave them on my blog, BUT my main origin post about their soap opera lore is really long and intimidating to read.... I have a shorter lore post here, but JFKSJLDJFKLDS.... finding these templates made nice, more condensed intros for them lol. and I [slightly] updated their looks so they aren't just carbon copies of what the seven dwarf characters are wearing!!!! but i'm bad at clothing design so i didn't really change them much!!!!

also i tried to be careful but my handwriting is Bad so i'll retype the info / talk more under the cut.

First guy: CHAR

Age: 18

Best Subject: Animal Languages

Birthday: March 19

Class: 3-C

Club: Fencing [does rsa have a fencing club. idk. they do now.]

Height: 175 cm

Hobby: Horseback Riding

Homeland: Shaftlands

Likes: Arts & Crafts, Shellfish

Dislikes: Keeping Secrets, Beets

Unique Magic: Unknown [I haven't decided one for him yet, and I may simply make him a late bloomer who hasn't discovered his yet lol]

Extra info:

Favorite Stones: Pink Opal & Chrysoberyl

Older Cousin to Dañarte

Long-lost childhood friend + new love interest to Cater

Source Character: Prince Charming from Cinderella

Second guy: Dañarte*

Age: 17

Best Subject: Ancient Magic

Birthday: February 13

Class: 2-C

Club: Equestrian Club

Height: 182 cm

Hobby: Writing Speeches

Homeland: Shaftlands

Likes: Planning, Grain bowls

Dislikes: Tenderhearted people, Undercooked meat

Unique Magic: Kiss of Frost: He kisses something or someone and temporarily freezes them ICY STYLE!!!!! or something like that. idk it doesn't kill people[???? maybe it could. idk.] but it don't feel good. Perhaps the area of frost can vary as well, like a small smooch spot vs spreading through the whole body? We gotta workshop it a bit more I'll get back to u on that someday. maybe.

Extra info:

Favorite Stone: Apatite

Char's younger cousin

"Love interest" to Cater + later on, Jamil...

Source Character: Hans from Frozen

RSA -> NRC -> Scarabia [He gets expelled and/or leaves RSA for whatever reason, I still haven't come up w/that part LOL... and ends up at NRC post breakup with Cater and gets sorted into Scarabia.]

* Disclaimer bc I feel the need to point out whenever I bring him up about his name lol- Dañarte isn't truly a name, it's just a spanish verb that's like "to hurt you". his character literally spawned from a convo I was having with a friend when I was trying to think of a name for Char, and something I said got autocorrected to Dañarte, and we made jokes about an evil princely character... so he became his own thing and I just kept that as his name lol.

anyway. i like talking about them but i also get shy and embarrassed about it klfjslfjks. also i probs did not draw them to scale bc life is hard. so are colors. i went very basic bc im scared but im trying to remember how colors work again in our year 2024 or whatever. WAHOO FUNNY LITTLE GUYS!!!!

shoutout to op of this template [@unfinished-projects-galore] making me sit here and consider the lives of these boys a lil more w/that bio layout. i was tempted to put summoning as Char's best class but WHAT do they summon. tell me idia what does that MEAN - jk it's probably like how juice bb summons cauldrons lol. I also considered Potionology for Dañarte but I think he'd like stuff like history and all that jazz and older [perhaps FORBIDDEN] ways of doing things.

[courtofmatchups]

Hey hey! Your matchups are open? Could I get one for Obey Me! please, when you’ve got time?

Appearance: 5’5”, a little heavier set but it’s muscle too - especially in arms and legs. Im a trans guy. Fluffy brown hair, really pale (sun allergy…), with green eyes. I wear glasses and tend to stick to casual clothing - blue jeans, black band tees, black smallish ear gauges, sometimes I wear a pride bracelet or a silver chain necklace. I have multiple tattoos, with some on my wrists, my forearms, my chest, and the back of my neck. Nothing flashy or crazy, it’s all black ink stuff, mostly game references or spooky stuff

Star sign: Libra!

Sexuality: Demisexual with a strong preference for men

Personality: very introverted but not shy or bad around people. I’m actually very good at pretending to be very social and people rarely know I’d rather be home, it’s just draining to chat with strangers and I end up needing to be alone for a couple days after. I tend to prefer solo activities or one-on-one time with one or two close friends, but doing big group stuff once in a while is fun too! I’m a sort of “go with the flow” type and let others lead the way in activities and conversations, but if someone else prefers that I take charge and make decisions, I’m more than capable of doing so. Financially responsible, but also a fan of “little treats” and very prone to buying things for people I love. I laugh easily and love harmless jokes and especially puns/dad jokes. I’m polite, and folks seem to find me easy to talk to, to the point of often having folks overshare things with me because they know I’m not going to judge them for it, even if it’s societally weird. Overall my view is; do whatever you want, disregard haters, just don’t hurt people. When left on my own, I am somewhat prone to anxiety over my future and can spiral a little, but I try not to let others see me anxious or sad. I like to be strong for people I care about. People I don’t care about I’m not mean to, I just kind of forget they exist, so I don’t bother interacting with them, but I’m civil. Also, while I can generally read friendliness, I am sooo bad at reading flirting and other social cues, so I may come off a bit of a himbo/oblivious at times 😅😂

Hobbies: drawing, RPG and sandbox video games (FFXIV, Minecraft, Skyrim, Animal Crossing), baking and making chocolates, working with clay, BeatSaber for fitness, watching documentaries

Likes: trying new/unusual food, rain, cats, nature and conspiracy documentaries, metal/rock/alternative music, learning video game lore, dark colors, Halloween and all things spooky, horror movies, spiders and other often disliked critters, coffee

Dislikes: extended time in crowds, sour or briney foods, hot weather, cruelty (please don’t kill bugs, I’ll take them outside for you!), the texture of wicker (blegh…), overcooked food

What I like in a partner: Someone who is unashamedly and obviously in love with me. That doesn’t mean they have to shout it from rooftops, but if asked about us, I want someone who proudly and happily says I’m theirs and they’re mine. Someone who is playful, even if only subtly, with a sense of humor. Someone who will be willing to let me ramble when I get excited about something and not dismiss it as stupid or silly - and I’m happy to do the same for them! Someone who will be kind enough to let me safely trap and release bugs instead of just killing them, as that’s important to me - it shows compassion, both for the bug and for my emotions. Someone who is okay with occasionally needing to reassure me that they’re happy with me, as I sometimes worry I’m boring my loved ones. Someone who can have fun, but who also understands that I sometimes need to be allowed to be quiet and do my own thing, even if we’re in the same room. Someone who enjoys when I dote on them, but doesn’t demand/expect excessive affection either, as much like a cat, I can get very lovey but sometimes need space. I really don’t have a preference for either introverts or extroverts, as long as they can understand how I operate - everything in balance! I love to dote on and spoil my partner as often as I can, I just get turned off if they begin to expect it or demand it, because it’s not a transaction, it’s a show of love, so if it’s demanded it becomes obligation instead and I lose interest.

Thank you so so much in advance, and have a wonderful rest of your day! 💜

~☕️

It seems to me, you've captured the heart of...

Simeon!

Here's why:

Compassionate and Gentle: Simeon is incredibly kind and compassionate, much like how you value showing kindness to bugs and critters. He’s a patient man, and that aligns with your desire for a partner who listens to you yapping without dismissing you as silly. He'd encourage it actually, since he'd very much enjoy the sound of your voice

Reassuring and Supportive: Given your need for occasional reassurance, Simeon would be someone who subtly and consistently shows you love and support. He’s thoughtful, caring, and gentle, the type to quietly express affection but with undeniable sincerity.

Playful and Humorous: Simeon can be subtly playful and enjoys lighthearted banter, which fits your love for harmless jokes and puns. He also has a warm and understanding personality that would make him appreciate your humor.

Respects Independence: He would likely understand your need for space, letting you have your quiet moments while still being present. Simeon isn’t the type to demand attention, which aligns with your preference for a partner who appreciates affection but doesn’t expect it constantly.

Loves to Dote: Simeon is someone who enjoys caring for others, which matches well with your desire to dote on your partner while maintaining balance. He would love the small treats and thoughtful gestures you offer without ever making you feel obligated to do so.

Simeon’s grounded yet caring nature would complement your more introverted, kind-hearted, and thoughtful personality, making him an ideal match!

[creatively-cosmic]

Hi Starry, I’m back! :D

I’m glad you like the questions and that they aren’t annoying, because every bit of lore I read is like a taking a shot of dopamine lmao. And that picture of Fire getting a hug 🥹 brightened up my whole day. Trust me when I say that you guys reposting pictures and adding content to older ones isn’t obnoxious in the slightest. The art (at least for me) makes it easier to digest and form connections about the story in my head, plus y’alls art is great—who wouldn’t want to look at it? The lore/art in the last one was particularly interesting. (Like, young Red looks like such an polite, upstanding citizen and then you scroll down two pages and now it’s like “Tf you lookin crazy for”? Was that an implication that Steven had something to do with Red going missing/becoming Glitchy? And Leaf is funking DEAD?-)

Anyways, you know what that means! Question time: Leaf Edition!

The First (and most obvious) question: What happened to Leaf? Why is the homegirl dead? (Why was Leaf being dead, out of all the things I’ve seen so far, the one thing I wasn’t expecting?)

Second: What’s the relationship between Leaf, Fire and Blue? You said that Blue and Fire’s murder-suicide loop was spurred on by her death, so were they friends before she died? Did they see it?

And two smaller questions: How tall are the main four (Red, Blue, Fire, Leaf)? And do they have Pokémon Teams? If so, what are their teams looking like?

That’s all till next time! Have a good day/afternoon/night wherever you are!

TUMBLR FUCKING CRASHED HALFWAY THROUGH ANSWERING THIS ASK IM SO MAD FUCK. FUCKKK

We honestly can't thank you enough for all your questions, compliments, and just overall being a huge sweetheart. We're really happy you've been enjoying these, and whatever dopamine you get from seeing these, we probably get like. TENFOLD, just for seeing someone so interested, and giving us a chance to talk about this wild ride of a story. So really- thank you. This has been a delight!

This one is gonna be REALLY long (I have to rewrite fucking HALF OF IT now DAMMIT), as we want to talk on the stuff you crossed out, too.

(I'll put their heights and teams in a follow-up post btw, so watch for that.)

1. Red.

Young Red is an interesting point in time. See, he and Blue had a LOT in common- a lot more than you might think. Of course, Red was a good kid, genuinely- always so caring for his Pokemon, kind and passionate about them. He was polite to the people around him, and always soft spoken, when or if he spoke at all. The adults around Kanto and his hometown always adored him for how well mannered he seemed- a real role model, and stand up child. Just a bit shy.

In all truth though, Red moreso had a very strong mask. One that he only dropped, allowing himself to relax and act like himself around one person: his best friend, Blue.

Both of those boys were a lot more immature and competitive with each other- the main difference being Blue didn't hide it like Red did. They LOVED competing, always trying to one up each other in everything they did. When they were together, Red wasn't afraid to speak his mind, signing or whispering to his friend with a smug grin on his face. Around his friend, Red could really be himself, and they both loved it. Having so much fun, roughhousing and taking jabs and just being children around each other. A lot of people, when seeing this, would assume Blue- who was always rude and a bit more standoffish- was a bad influence, but really, the two couldn't be happier than they were with each other.

... When you spend God knows how long, trapped in a dimension with no human life, desperate and angry with unholy forces eating away at your mind, will, and sanity. Let's just say masking doesn't end up staying a necessary skill. A good portion of why Red being Like That now is honestly? Just because he just gave up on trying to make himself presentable.

He has bigger problems now than worrying about how people see him, anyways.

2. Steven.

I'll try to keep this short, as the Strangled Red elements of this story could warrant it's own post entirely.

To put it simply: Steven is, in part, directly responsible for Red's fate.

It wasn't HIS decision, mind you. He barely even thinks for himself anymore. But there were things that wanted Red, and Steven is very suggestible when it takes the right approach. So it lays itself out so simply.

Red trusted Steven, after all. Idolized him. Missed him. Would follow him anywhere. What better possible option could there be?

Of course Steven is the one to drown that boy on the coast of Cinnabar.

3. Leaf. (cw for animal death.)

Finally, the star of the show for this ask (as if this isn't long enough already). I can see why the information for her is more supriding as we haven't posted as much for her, which. We do feel bad about- our ability and motivation to make art for her was severely hindered by our struggle (I'm talking MONTHS) to make a design for her that we were happy with. Her story is WELL figured out, though, so we're glos we get to discuss! And now that her design is actually finalized, there should be more visual stuff for her coming.

So what happened?

Well! As is the entire premise of Missing Numbers, each major individual is based off of various Pokepastas. The easiest way to answer that is one of two of Leaf's sources:

Abandoned Loneliness.

But first, we have to go further back.

Fire was not the only Vessel made by the Almighty.

... He was the first, and the favorite. But he wasn't the only one. Leaf was the other.

Once Fire had come to Palette town, the next Game was set to begin any time now. But as the Almighty looked down on the world, He looked back at the others that had been built, and realized that the new Kanto was missing something. An alternative option. Though He was reluctant to change the structure of the world, it was, by all means, an improvement, and something the Players would expect after the past Generations.

She was less meticulously made than her brother. She kept her Heart and Mind about her, as there wasn't time, nor was it safe, to rid her of them like Fire. She would serve well enough as a Vessel regardless- and she did, as when the Game began, Leaf was chosen as the player's Avatar. (Not quite what the Almighty had expected, but the choice had been given for a reason, so it would be foolish to change anything now...)

Blissfully unaware of the nature of her existence, Leaf proceeded to go on a triumphant adventure through Kanto.

This is a good time, before we get back to the tragedy, to answer your second question!

Leaf, Blue, and Fire's dynamic changed throughout their journey through Kanto. At the beginning, let's just say things were... Tense.

Fire acted hollow, in the beginning, as he was meant to. Genuinely, it was fully expected that he'd be chosen as the players Avatar. So without it, he was left... Quiet and cold. It seemed he didn't care for anyone- not Blue, nor his sister.

Blue, meanwhile, was NOT in a good headspace. But at this point, after about two years passed since Red's dissapearance, he'd learned to hide those feelings. The people of Palette town, including his Rivals, knew him as this bitter, irritable person, resentful towards the world for incomprehensible reasons.

Leaf was the only "normal" one, basically. A cheerful, excited girl, whose heart bled for everyone she cared about and always tried to stand for the right thing. She didn't know where she came from... She had no memories of her life before "Red" and Hazel (Fire's mother) Yuuji found her, seemingly abandoned in the tall grass just outside of Palette Town, under the falling autumn leaves. Taken in as a part of their family, she grew attracted quickly, her loyalty and love and impulsive need to protect coming to be what she was known for.

With all this given, when the journey started. Leaf HATED Blue- he seemed to despise and bully her brother more than anyone. Blue didn't like Leaf much either, but wasn't as harsh towards her as he was Fire. Fire was as... Neutral as ever. But he silently followed the two once they went out, almost as if he wanted to watch over them. Ensure their safety.

As the journey continued, over time, away from the stuffiness of their hometown, the three started to grow closer. Maybe the fresh air was doing Blue good. Maybe Leaf was learning more about the world. Maybe Fire's deep brown eyes were growing warmer.

Somehow, a death was the tipping point for all of them to finally become friends. It's absurd, how grief was the thing driving them apart, but ultimately went to bring them together.

When Blue's Raticate died, he quickly fell back to his lowest point. Angry and hateful and heartbroken, lashing out, and ultimately running away. ... But it put everything in perspective. Through all her guilt (it was in a fight against her, after all, that the Raticate had been so severely injured), Leaf suddenly understood why Blue had been so horrible before: he was mourning. And he needed someone. It didn't make her forgive him, but it made her extend a hand.

And for once, knelt over the grave of a lost Pokemon, Blue accepted it. From that act of kindness, Blue genuinely began to get along with the others, and slowly, the trio came to be friends- all the way up to and after the Championship, where despite losing again, Blue felt closer to the others than ever.

... It seems in this world, good things don't last.

The events of Abandoned Loneliness happened several months after Leaf became champion. When revisiting Raticate's grave with Blue, Leaf came across a peculiar Pokemon- a horribly sickly little Eevee, too weak to even cry. Leaf had never been the kind to leave a Pokemon in need to fend for itself- kindly, she took the little stray into her care, determined to nurse it back to health.

The properties of Glitched or Corrupted Pokemon aren't something I need to dive into right now this is already ungodly long. What's important is that the Eevee was not a natural Pokemon. It should've been dead.

It always starts with a Pokemon that should've been dead.

Let's just say... Everything unraveled from there. Fully explaining what the events of Abandoned Loneliness translates to in Missing Numbers isn't something I have the energy to write at the moment (this is so long and I've been putting off finishing it cause I'm still mad all my initial writing got deleted >_<).

The important part comes down to Leaf's demise at the hands of this "curse." Bonded to that sickly little Eevee, when the world pushed her to put it out of its misery- voices of the damned screaming, unbearable, suffocating, demanding she DO IT DO IT DO IT, you can't bear to watch it suffer anymore, after all... The destiny bond it held her in dragged her down with it.

Nobody witnessed her death. She was alone and isolated at the foot of a mountain. She thought she could solve everything herself. Thought she could handle it all.

Her body was only found days later, curled up on the ground, rotting blood seeping from her eyes, with the body of the poor little Eevee in her arms. Trapped and suffocated by the hands that killed it. It was far too late. To maje it worse, her friends were the first to know of her death.

Fire was the one who found her body, after all.

Leaf's demise was a SEVERE breaking point, and unlike Fire, she didn't get a chance to be revived by God. Her modern presence in the world was not... Authorized, let's just say. Leaf had to claw and fight to keep hold of herself and climb back to existence in ways unprecedented, and believed to be impossible. But despite being a corrupted entity, her body was stable. And so, rather than Smite her as he would other Glitches, the Almighty decided to make good of an unintended situation: He could make use of her. A man on the inside is a powerful tool, after all.

So long as He kept her anger for her fate targeted towards the "true" threats.

I could keep going but I've babbled on way too much already for this post lol. I'm so sorry about the delay on this one- life REALLY got in the way. And Tumblr's buggy ass mobile app 💀

hopefully i can elaborate more without any crashing in the next round if there is one ashfshf

[rainbowgod666]

Sonic.exe: (drunk as shit) an' uh- you... y... uuuhhh... honestly? Your girl isss... rreeEALLYy cool actshtually... (demoman noises) aa- at leasth you donth av to let a one offf phrase thefine yu...

SCP-166 Epon: (showing off her eìre goddess side) y- yuyeaahhh... thscanks for teaching her about... th-uuuhh thE SECOND AMENDMENT (she- did she fucking down half a pint of hard liquor like th- IS THAT IN THE "APOCALYPSE KNIGHT" CODE?) WOOOOOOOOOO! thiss... thissum gus shite i tellyahwat...- anyway ye t- think its hardd? Boi lemme tell ye, im suppos' ta be the Foundation's WAIFU! And thossshshshsheee...ff... fUCKs go after... (sighs) the fuckin' furrybait shy girll

Sonic.exe: prEaCh girl, thats... thatsh whut ye learned from whenyou uh... l-lived in a c...hurch

Epon: y-yuh cause like... me father's alto cLef yknow??? He focken döömped me thaer! Me name meansh fucken MEESTÆK in HEBREw! Like???

Sonic.exe: at leASt yer creatorshnot a fuken EDGELORD! HAAAAA

(They both drown the cringe in alcohol)

Herobrine: the top sniper of the Creepypasta Unit and the Second Knight of the Apocalypse everyone. (Disappointment intensifies)

________________________________

Tumblr furry: hang on, i get to stay AWAKE and it still counts as anesthesia?

Aubergine Man: its some SCP shit but its actually harmless (turns on red lightsaber) anyway, you said you wanted to transition?

Tumblr furry: yes pls i need the gender euphoria

Aubergine Man: Based.

Aubergine Man: also you get a free blåhaj after gender-affirming surgery and you get three months of hormones free of charge, but then you need a renewal service and depending on the fandom the price can change-

Gaster (from the storage room): afton PLEASE dont advertise during sURGERY

Orochimaru, all the way from the office: yeah! Its annoying!

Aubergine Man William Afton: ah whatever, anyway time for some personalized genital moddding :D

_________________________________

Eric: so... uuhhh

Kyle: no, i wont tell anybody WHAT you used as the generator for dickinbaus

Butters: you promise?

Kyle: considering that i just saw 30 SCPs taped toghether to generate infinite energy from a taco-bell induced diharrea attack from cartman, yeah

Eric: good.

Eric: so... (looms at butter) you wanna do a nuclear warcrime? I want to staple a nuclear reactor to the dickinbaus

Butters: yeah! Nuclear energy!!!

Kyle: what the fuck is wrong with you two

________________________________________

Pomni: what is this... white space?

Ink: welcome to the anti-void

Uncle grandpa: its basically an infinite canvas at the bottom of the undertale multiverse.

Dr.bright: its also a physical version of the Noosphere

Pomni:... a- (spontaneous combustion)

I fucking told y'all

(All the charachters that ever canonically knew or had access to a "white space" like the undertale anti-void/uncle grandpa "intermission space" proceed to nod, agree, and talk about how such a simple concept is THIS complex apparently)

______________________________________

MONIST-1 RA: when i discovered that "Deimos" is also the name of a Madcom Charahcter i... genuinely liked this rock even more

Metat Aun: some people compare me to a scene of an extremely ancient cradle film... "2001 space odissey"... whatever tf that means

P.O.L.L.V.X.: a pilot canonically "pacified" me by having yaoi seggs with me

(Everyone embarassed)

Lancer!Alex (callsign ALPHA): (face bursts from pavement like he got shot from a basement or shit) and i would do it agaaain~

(All NHPs are now currently screaming in abject fear at the UwU NHP-Fucker pilot)

_____________________________________

Collector: why are we in ukraine?

Sonic.exe: i wanna teach you how to use a sniper rifle by killing some REALLY bad russian generals

Collector:... considering my lore, i would like you to define "bad"

Sonic.exe: the one we're "hunting" rn? He kills 10% of his squad every time they lose. And they lose A LOT.

Collector:...

Sonic.exe: were using Alex's "special ammo". This one is .65 BMG, Telekill/Depleted Uranium anti-tank DARPA. And theyre encased in fucking NuclearCraft Extreme Alloy. Because the powder used is so reactive it makes caesium and water look like a fart in a kids cartoon.

Collector:... (realizes that theyre basically launching nukes out of a customized-af barrett) what the fuck is Alex ON when he does these things???

Sonic.exe: the autistic spectrum

Collector: oh yeah right

_______________________________________

(48??u or something idk)

Xian Xiaoli: i need a melee weapon but all i have is the pieces to make a shotgun the size of a Barbarossa!

RA, from a busted radio: then do it?

Xian: how???

RA: let me use my Funny OP-plz-nerf Paracasualty Powers

Xian Xiaoli: (MONIST-1 RA enlightened noises)

Xian Xiaoli: (shudders) whOOH! That actually felt kinda good... thanks!

RA: any day girl!

___________________________________

Shinji: just so you know, i figured that you didnt wanna do this to "save humanity"

Kaworu: how did you know?

Shinji: Kaworu, we have been lovely breeding each other for 6 hours straight. Its 2 AM and were naked under the covers while we cant feel our S H L O N G S anymore, this is TOO gay to be a "world-saving effort", and honestly?

Shinji, fully embracing kaworu: i wouldnt have any other way ❤️

(They then kept being lovebirds throughout the entire night. Rei was the only one who knew about this but shes based enough that when Asuka asked her she roundhouse kicked her into the wall) (because rei is THUG LIFE BAYBEEEE)

_________________________________

SCP-096: wait, WHAT

Umbral: yeah, my name is like this because he thought "Number 96" sounded dumb. And one day he goes "actually when I watched the anime i never figured out your name" SO NOW HERE WE ARE!

096: at least its a good name...?

Umbral: THATS THE ONLY UPSIDE-

____________________________________

Betê Noire betty: please tell me you're joking.

Bright: yep. Were now Alex's OCs because our creatore were associate with Predators

Betty: what

Bright: yeah hes like that

Betty: ALEX IS "LIKE THAT"? HE PHYSICALLY WANTS PEDERASTY TO REMAIN A THING OF THE GREEKS AND NOT A CRIME. Which would be good... IF HE DIDNT WANNA ANTIMEMETICS HUB IT OUT OF THE HUMAN PSYCHE

Bright: yep. He has good intentions, but sonetimes the way he goes about them are... excessively violent.

Betty: and he excuses his mistakes with autism?

Bright: only when its ACTUALLY the autism

____________________________________

Hank: no you dont get it- Rye is the girlfriend, and Chelsea is the emoticona support pillow

Chelsea: exactly

Rye: (whispers to chelsea) wait so we take turns?

Chelsea: (whispers back) yeah girl, i got the assets but you got the wholesome

Rye: (whispering) aww tysm

____________________________________

Hunter: honestly nice UNO win there, anyways why are we in your room and what did you mean by "taking your rewar-"

Willow: (stretches Vine like whip)

Hunter: (blushing HARD) oh shit-

(30 mins later, in the living room)

The collector: (staring right at Luz and Amity with the eyes of somebody that is 👌 this close to SNAPPING.) this is what i hear every fucking time i just wanna play pokemon in PEACE, and you two decide to give more material to the "next generation" part of our fandom.

_______________________________________

Monika: ok no seriously Alex, your mom is right- YOU CANT BUY MORE YUGIOH DUDE STAHP

Need content for unboxing. ( ◕_◕)

Monika: (mental breakdown) why are you like this

___________________________________

Bright: i still feel you did something REALLY stupid

Clef: RE-LAAAAAX. Alex is a literal eigenweapon but he has a moral compass, hes gonna go there and do the job

Shaw: clef. You basically unleashed the only thing that can kill 682 (and then ressurrect it for "natural order" bullshit) on a small CI platoon that managed to get SCP-882.

Shaw: you sent a nuclear bomb eater to recover a nuclear bomb from nuclear thieves

Clef: (realizes that he is gonna be the reason the Veil is gonna be used as a hanging rope for the CI) fuck.

___________________________________________

Epon: why does my "knight" form... excite you so much

Sìgurros: girl, look me in the eyes and TELL me that "fiery war goddes of bare-handed murder with toned abs and large bazonkas" isnt peak waifu

Epon: (teary-eyed from the compliment) t...thank youuuu 🥺

Sìgurrós: exactly :3

____________________________________

Benjamin kirby Tennyson: i feel like i am forgetting something important

Rex salazar: well you know how the reference goes

Daniel Fenton: if you forgot then it wasnt important!

Ben: u guys are right :3 its probably nothing

(Meanwhile, a few trilion lightyears from earth...)

Alex (Gear5): Ğømü ģòmų ñô...

Divinity: WAIT PLEASE NO-

Alex (Gear5): MÜŁŤÏVĘŘŚÉ ĞÂŤĻĪŃĞ!

Divinity: (cant speak on account of getting fisted from across every fandom ever at once)

_______________________________

Belos: what.

Luz: yeah so... Alex is about to kill us all

Alex (Gear5) Alex-ULTIMATE FORM : GOMU GOMU NO-

Collector: and its all your fault

Amity: and YOU wanted to join forces with him

Odalia: yeah i know dear daughter, i mean- you get a girlfriend that is a human with less manners than a wild animal? Eh i can survive that. The literal emperor of the boiling isles being not only ugly, misoginistic and bigoted, but also a massive idiot? Oh titan NOPE

Hunter: yeah... considering what he did until now, if i knew he was THIS stupid i would have defected the instant i saw someone else even remotely smart

Alex-ULTIMATE FORM:

DIGAMMA METEOR!

Eda: congratulations, youre a failure

Belos:what-

(And then everyone died in a gigantic HBM mod themed explosion because yes.) (AND there was epic music behind it because here in italy we use sick beats as condiment for explosions)

_____________________________________

Herobrine: between Entity303 using all our internet connection for yaoi, and SCP-4335 basically being kirby but with even less braincells?

Herobrine: better than the screming italians and their constant overkillage anyway

Bill: the what

____________________________________

Scunt player: what... ARE you?

Alex, omnitrix transformation 250 "team fortress" version SCOUT ultimate form cyberpsychosis scout: im... your upgrade?

Scunt player: that explains the green

Cyberpsychosis scout: those are a ben 10 reference

The entire fucking server: (peeks to see whats happening) what.

__________________________________

Jax: you know, i get that i need to be nicer to others...

Jax: but INFINITE OVER-THE-TOP ULTRAVIOLENT TORTURING IS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED

Talloran: BOO! GROW A PAIR!

Jax: (crying in existential pain)

Lmao get rekt

Pomni:... why do i feel satisfied looking at this

________________________________

Pomni: i want to kill.

Caine: what

Pomni: (looks right at caine) you will be the last one to see this place die.

Caine: what???

Ragatha: (blushing) woah uh-

Pomni: (points to ragatha) you shall reign over the aftermath of my fury.

Ragatha:... thats actually kinda hot ngl

Caine: WHAT THE-

_________________________________

049: im sorry what

1048: ok look we get it sounds weird but-

2295: we want to build an EVA unit!

049: WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME-

_________________________________________

(Downtime action "Go Diving", gain result 6)

ALPHA: what the fu-

SCP-035: so uhm... if you ever need to know, SCP stuff is compatible with this setting but uuuuhhh... NOT the other way around!

ALPHA: i have questions and that wasnt one of them

_________________________________________

Chara: why does the fnaf movie have a scene where a child does MY "eyes bleeding void" thing?

G. Freddy: in that film im the 「stand」 of a little girl and matpat is there to do the "just a theory" line. Dont ask wtf were the producers smoking

____________________________________

Sonic.exe after hearing about the "pissing on the moon" incident: yeah sure, like eggman actually DID that...

(A few hours later)

Sonic.exe: (traumatized)

Sonic: we told you.

Shadow: seriously, he was drunk, what did you expect.

Sonic.exe: (broken innocence noises)

Tails: is he gonna have that thousand-yard stare for long? I need somebody to debug a program...

__________________________________

Baby: i excuse the glorified dress-up but i draw the line at tHIS

Afton: (doing the California Girls meme as a mass of wires in the Vanny costume... all while the "proportions" are "exaggerated") this is how its fucken done :>

Gregory: really. THIS is the villain of the series?

Baby: the film removed all the nuance dear

Gregory: sick claw tho

Baby: ty

____________________________________

Cyana: (looks around)

Cyana:

Cyana:.

Cyana:..

Cyana:...

Cyana: where the fuck am i.

___________________________________

Susie: kris where the fuck are we

Kris: this is the chernobyl reactor in 1989, we are here because Towa from DBXV wants to stop Boris The Slav Superstar to crawl out of Reactor 4

Susie: oh yeah, side gig at the dragonball time patrol, i remember

Kris: you need some Omega-3 girl

Susie: where the fuck do i find all that fish tho?

Kris: do i LOOK like i would know?

__________________________________

Herobrine: ma dici che qualcuno ci fa caso che noi due (come tutti) sappiamo l'italiano

Sans: seeeeeeeeh come se qualcuno ci facesse caso

Herobrine: la "libreria" a snowdin si chiama "librerbia".

Sans: ...senti un pò blockman-

____________________________________

Alex: im 70% sure this is normal

Cross: Alex, Xgaster is getting springlocked

Alex: yeah thats what i said

Xgaster: (suffering for his fandom crimes in an excessively graphic way)

_______________________________________

Astolfo: being in the testosterone squad is actually really based

(postal dude does a terrorism)

Astolfo: i mean, the only reason im here is that all my testosterone went in my Monster Can and im also pretty sure its also a health problem for future me but hey i get to be the sniper because i have the lowest T of all the squad

Astolfo: (another Gmod explosion in the background) which is probably ANOTHER health hazard. but Duke smokes literal kilos of cigars a day, Postal dude heals using crack, and im pretty sure Slayer is like, 1% Biologically Human so im... probably fine!

Astolfo: we get full health benefits (not just dental) and we kill people as the most masculine team ever, so we're not getting bored anytime soon

(another fucking explosion but this time its CLOSER???) (boi wut dhehel boi)

______________________________________________

Cimmerian: i have no idea WHY am i able to kill Alex by telling him hes wrong.

Cimmerian: and at this point? im not fucking asking.

________________________________________________

Frisk: wait, how did we end up like this?

Betty: see, the thing is, Alex rewrote like three AUs toghether and taped them to eachother, and it WORKED. years later we do wacky adventures and right now were fighting plantera

Asriel, currently escaping from the funny omega flowey joke: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FU-

Frisk: yeah its the last part thats confusing

Chara (flying on a- thats a fucking jetpack): Dimensional Breach. we are going deep into Asriel's Terraria file to grab a zenith and unfuck things up back there

Frisk: ok... still doesnt explain asriel's starter weapon being a funny prism tho

__________________________________________

Massive wave of mindustry drones all ominously chanting the "hamburger cheeseburger big mac whopper" song:

Alex: so yeah, im gonna out-drone robotnik

Sonic:...

Sonic:... compared to eggman, robotnik is fucking insane

Sonic.exe: and extremely pathetic

Sonic: exactly my (technically our) point, but still; Alex. WHAT THE FUCK

Alex: IM GETTING THIS FUCKING SECTOR

IM GETTING THIS FUCKING SECTOR

Sonic.exe: oh no hes doing that thing where hes both in and out of this reality

Sonic: fuck

____________________________________________________

Ink: so uhm... should we do something about that?

(SCP-3125 stuck in the threads holding the papers that make the Undertale Multiverse while other SCP gods try to pull him out)

Error: NAAAAAH

__________________________________________________

Uncle sam: (turns out to be an immortal sarkic man that genuinely wants to help)

[REDACTED]: let him cook.

_______________________________________

Vriska: 4r3 y0u 3v3r g0nn4 w47ch 0ur 53r135?

Tf do i know

Vriska: FU-

_____________________________

Shaggy: like zoinks scoob

Shaggy: we fell in the backrooms

Scooby: ruh roh

________________________________________________

Rick:... tumblr is-

Emptier than you expect?

Rick: yeah.

[the-sinful-voice-witch]

Talking about girls

*The primary colors trio are chilling reading Sonic's super heroes comics collection*

Knuckles: i do not understand or relate with this bat - man... I'm feeling disappointment. 😑

Tails: Come on! He is cool! He doesn't have any powers but he is a super genius and uses gadgets to kick ass! 🤩

Sonic: Yeah knux not everything is about muscles... 🙄

Knuckles: Don't misunderstand, this Bat-man was appealing to me! A disciplined, skilled, wise, smart warrior worth my admiration! I don't care if he can't destroy walls with his bare fists. 😤

Tails: so....? Then what's the problem?😐

Knuckles: He let's his guard down when surrounded by females! He is always surrounded with them!😤

Sonic: pffff jajaja aren't you just jealous?😂

Knuckles: don't be ridiculous!😠

Sonic: so then you're not uncomfortable reading those parts because you're shy with girls?😝

Tails:.....(i think you are a bit like that too...)🤨

Knuckles: Shut up! That's irrelevant! And I'm talking about one specific female! This so called the Cat- woman... I get she is supposed to be some kind of charmer master! But the Bat- man already knows this treacherous Cat - woman is an evil seductress! A dishonorably thief! She keeps trying to trick him! She is the enemy! He has known that for a while and yet he remains infatuated by her! I simply can't understand this Bat- man reasoning😡

Sonic: wow you seem too obsessed with that thief...🤨 You sure you aren't feeling conflicted because you actually like her? She is a cool character... 😏

Knuckles: JA! That's a good one! I could never like someone as dishonorably as a Thief! How can the bat- man let this Cat- woman play with his heart like that!? She is obviously an evil female trained to mislead naive hearts! 😡

Tails: actually according to my research in the batman lore including his relationships... It seems that Catwoman actually loves him back and understands him better than anyone but she is unable to leave behind her thief life and...🧐

Sonic: Ok this is starting to get too mushy...😑

Knuckles: nonsense! The Bat- man hero turned out to be a disappointment! I could never understand why he fell for a thief. A THIEF! 😤

Sonic: whatever dude, hope that never happens to you🙄

Knuckles: Me? As if! What kind of fool do you take me for? I would never be as hopeless as the Bat-man

*Tom AKA lord donut shows up to check on the primary colors trio while they're reading Sonic's super heroes comics collection *

Tom: Hey guys! You're having fun? Are your new roommates enjoying your comics Sonic? 😃

Sonic: Oh yeah we are having lots of fun watching this knucklehead having a existential crisis 😂

Tom: What?🤨

Tails: apparently he doesn't understand Batman reasoning for having feelings towards one of his enemies...

Sonic: he doesn't get why the hero is so into the sexy Thief 😆

Knuckles: i don't know what is so funny about this! Is a serious matter! This bat -man is supposed to be one of the smartest warriors and he is tarnishing his reputation by being infatuated with this Cat thief woman villainess over and over again! He already knows she is a bad girl and still he let's her play with him and his heart! What's so appealing about this tight suit dressed thief.... 😡

Tom:.emmm😳 well...( i suppose he isn't in that age yet...? does it work the same in alien animals anyway?)

Sonic: Aaw man there he goes again 🙄

Tails: pffff 🤭

Sonic: Knux you should stop worrying about who is Batman simping for and just focus on the action, that's the best part! Right when the heroes kicks the bad Guy ass and save the day! Oh look just like i did! 😌👌

Tails: hey we helped too! 😐

Knuckles: exactly we fought together as a team don't take all the glory hedgehog!😤

Sonic: Ok ok sure but Im just saying I was the one flouting in the sky with a super handsome golden make over and then boom SUPER... SONIC ON THE SCENE SAVING THE DAY LIKE A BADASS! Even better and more handsome than Superman i must say... 😜

Knuckles: ...humppt 😒

Tom: well i guess you did save the day...🤔🙄

Sonic: i knew you would agree with me...😁

Tom: but you still lack of something to be fully like the heroes of your comics pal...🙂

Sonic: Excuse me!? no i don't? I have the sad origin back story, the superpowers, the villain nemesis, the sidekicks...🤨

Tails: 🤩 yey

Knuckles: 😤i beg you pardon?

Sonic: I have ALL the super heroes have! 😠

Tom: NOPE, you still don't have... The Girl! 😏

Sonic:😳😳😳😳!!!!!!

Tails: Oh it's true... Most of the heroes stories we've been reading involved some love interest also involving kissing ewww 😖

Sonic:😳😳😳😳😳😳!!!!!!

Knuckles: yeah even the solitary bat -man hero has a questionable love quest with a female enemy...🤔

Sonic: Shut up, Shut up!😳😖

Tom: See? You still need a girl with a biiiiiig cruuuush on you🤣

Sonic: ok enough!🙉🙉 yeah really mature lord donut reaaaally mature...😤

Tom: what's the matter? Where did that confidence go? Are you afraid of giiiiiiiirls? 🧐😁

Sonic: whaaat? I'm not afraid of girls! Knuckles is afraid of girls! 😠👉

Knuckles: HEY! I don not fear females! I could even fight one no matter how much of a charmer she was...😤

Sonic: WHY in the world are you talking about fighting girls??? I'm just saying I don't have a problem with girls ok?

Tails: 😶 ummm

Tom: ok ok I'm sorry 🙌😛

Sonic: look let's just say this is an exception ok I've never seen a girl of my kind anyway why would I even worry about that...😑

Tom: (oh that's true... He has never seen a girl of his home planet, I wonder how they look like... ) Aren't you curious?

Sonic: emmmmmmmmm (i wasn't before you brought the damn topic) No. No... Anyway what are the chances of meetings one here? Im not going to worry about that...😤

Knuckles: me neither.

Tom: Ok that's fair 🤷( though I wish I could see the moment... After all Sonic is a young teenager who won't stop trying to look cool... watching him seeing his first hedgehog girl would be hilarious) 🤭

Sonic: i don't know why are you laughing but cut it out! Come on! (Man i never thought about this before... But I don't think I'm gonna meet a girl of my world anytime soon so it's no use thinking about it) 😓😬

Knuckles: huump! ridiculous...

*Meeting Rouge*

Knuckles:( good chaos... I can not comprehend myself... what is this mysterious feel and on top of that she is a FEMALE BAT... Indeed this is a divine punishment for disrespecting the Bat-man love quest...😖)

*Meeting Amy *

Sonic: ( AW COME ON SERIOUSLY??? I WASN'T READY FOR THIS!!! OK Sonic be cool, be coo... don't look like an idiot in front of the very first hedgehog girl you ever seen in your life that also happens to be SO DAMN CUTE 💘🤯 and has a terrifying giant hammer... )🙂