#im just arranging my thoughts

[sugarcarnation]

love love love how similar these two panels are. makes me insane

[urfavisananimegirl]

walter white from breaking bad

Walter Hartwell White (Breaking Bad) is an Anime Girl!

[good-beanswrites]

I think Fuuta should cry. It's good for the soul.

I love how getting asks from you is like

I don't quite know if this was good for his soul, but it certainly was for mine 😅 A bit of a hurt-no-comfort piece, sorry, but I enjoyed a character study of his thoughts immediately after his crime. He has a very particular mix of guilt and denial, and I tried to picture how that may play out in this moment...

Fuuta was sure his life was over the very same moment that he discovered hers was.

His heart seemed to stop entirely when he read her name on the dim little screen. His breathing became shallow and sporadic. His body went cold. Though under the blanket, his arms shivered uncontrollably. The rest of him was just as paralyzed. 

It was more than just the physical things. This life that he’d led to this point, it was over. He’d never be able to move on from this. Would he ever manage to sleep another night? All his friends knew; they wouldn’t be his friends any longer. He was surprised no one had messaged him yet. His father could forget any dreams of his son following in his footsteps. Any normal job was out of the question, now. The minute anyone found out, they’d treat him differently. They’d treat him like a – he could hardly even think the word “killer.”

A sob broke through his gritted teeth. 

That’s what he’d be classified as, wouldn’t he? That girl was dead because of him. 

She was dead. Because of him. 

Fuuta was still wrapping his mind around reality. A whole person, a whole life, a whole future, gone because of him. 

His breath came out wheezy, hiccups shaking his form. He curled himself as small as he could shrink, his hands tearing at his hair.

The girl’s face flashed in his mind. The only pictures he’d seen of her featured bright smiles. He used to find it infuriating – thinking it was all a part of her fake persona, her mockery of justice. Now, the thought of those happy pictures crushed him. She was just a kid. What kind of monster killed a kid?

Fuuta pressed his knuckles to his lips, smothering his cries. The dorms were loud enough tonight, but he couldn’t risk anyone hearing. A story like this could never get out. After all, what were the laws around this stuff? What if he went to prison? He was of age – which areas still used the death penalty? 

No.

He had to collect himself. He hadn’t done anything illegal. He was just overreacting, blubbering like an idiot. That was one thing his father was always right about, at least. Fuuta beat his fists against his head. There was no premeditation. No planning, no ill intent. He’d only just found out she died. That’s why none of his friends had messaged him yet. It wasn’t because of them. It was just some other crazy person online. 

His chest shuddered with an uneven breath. Even if there were no legal consequences, he’d need to get a grip and take some precautions. He ran his palms down his cheeks, wiping away the mess of tears. 

He’d clear out all traces of himself on the internet, delete all those posts that led back to him. He’d smash his phone, call it an accident. Change his number. He didn’t know what he’d do about his friends. He wanted to call them and tell them to delete everything as well. He wanted to scream viciously at them for convincing him to do all this. He wanted to beg them to say everything was going to be okay.

He shut off the phone, fumbling around with the touchscreen several times before he hit the right thing. He couldn’t call anyone. He was on his own now. And that was alright. Whatever happened to that girl, he… That girl…

He commanded himself to rise and begin. 

It proved unsuccessful. Fuuta remained frozen for another few minutes. The harder he willed himself to stop, the harder he cried. He pressed his palm over his mouth and nose, in an attempt to prevent any sound from escaping, and keep his emotions quiet for the first time in his life.

[faaun]

pls i need to provide updates

[trekkiehood]

.

[getyinyusedtoit]

you all don't want me to comment on your fics because this is the sort of shit i say

[cyberfunsupporter]

i don’t really get why people wanna change the vocal roles of rv (irene rapper, seulgi main vocalist, wendy main vocalist, joy sub vocalist, yeri sub rapper) so bad. i personally think they fit very well + they vary depending on the song, which is what’s supposed to happen in a music group?? it’s just the general set-up for their songs, although it doesn’t inherently mean that’s how it’ll be all the time 😭

[friendlifyre]

i did it guys i beat the 2.2 story

[famousblueraincoatmp3]

why do people act like when youre a vegan you secretly want to eat meat or whatever. like i very clearly do not want that

[orcelito]

What they don't tell you about losing a parent is that there is so so so so much to do

[transcomputer]

finished spto ep 7 u_u will give my extended thoughts once i actually finish the thing but in the meantime heres my tierlist for how well i think everyone is characterized

[todayisafridaynight]

So I was going to comment I don’t know your favorite Yakuza character then I remembered it was Jo and I have to ask what specifically about him makes him number one?

if you're referring to my baddie baddies tier list, then that wasn't a tier list of my favorite yakuza characters it was a tier list specifically of how hot i found each antagonist to be unless you're coming from my DB blog where i said he was one of my faves but this/that amirite

regardless tho i will talk about why i love jo cause he genuinely is one of my fave charas in general and the reason for that uhhhhh he's neat :) and hot.

But In All Seriousness i unno, it's hard for me to explain why i like characters sometimes. i'll try under the cut tho cause It Gets Long

for jo, a big part of it is how he is as a father- or trying to be a father anyway. he didn't think twice about giving aoki up as a baby- he didn't even really care if he died or not. it was only thanks to masumi that aoki got that chance at life, and if it weren't for the fact he accidentally walked by masumi and aoki that one day jo probably would've gone the rest of his life without having a second thought about it

but thats the thing: they did cross paths that day, and jo's forced to confront the fact his actions did have consequences. he was forced to grow up out of that mentality he had as a kid- that if you don't look at the problem, it'll go away. evidently, they didn't: his actions had consequences, consequences that affected not only his or ikumi's life, but aoki was ultimately going to be the one to shoulder the burden the most because they couldn't be bothered to just give him to someone and tried to leave him in a locker of all places. it's what heightens jo's quote to ichi about taking responsibility as a yakuza all the more impactful in retrospect as well, and it's details like that that make revisiting the game all the more fun

but back to jo, he fully realizes what he did was fucked up, and that there's no conceivable way he can ever make amends or right his wrongs. joining the yakuza would be the next best thing for his goals, not like he saw much of an honest future for himself anyway. at the very least, he can try to support his son anyway he can no matter the cost- or at least, anyway he can for the most part.

jo's inability to kill masumi despite it being a direct order from aoki himself is also such a telling part of his character that makes me weep a little. he entered the yakuza with sole intentions of looking after aoki and taking care of him, nothing more or nothing less. ergo, it would be up to masumi to decide how much jo gets to be involved in his son's life

but that's the thing right: masumi would be the one primarily taking care of aoki. we know masumi tries to keep in touch with aoki via the beginning of the game where he laments his calls don't get returned, and masumi seemed to spend whatever time he could with aoki growing up based off of ichi's brief flashback.

being a yakuza boss be damned, jo got to see first hand how much masumi loved his son despite his circumstances that would've made a lesser parent quit or despise him- that despite his status as a yakuza boss, he would be there and be an active presence in aoki's life enough to annoy him and think of him as nothing more than a helicopter parent. i'm willing to bet that despite jo trying to brush off the sentiment that masumi was anything more than a patriarch to him, he probably did harbor genuine respect dare i say adoration for him. how could he not? even if masumi didn't know aoki wasn't really his son, he took care of him as though he were, complications and all.

if we wanna stretch it, then based off the RGGO iteration of sawashiro, he got his tattoo in direct honor of arakawa: if we're to believe that bits of RGGO sawashiro made it to Y7 sawashiro, then it's fair to say sawashiro's dedication and respect to masumi were immense (though we can make the argument that Y7 sawashiro might not have the same tattoo, or that his tattoo now could be dedicated to taking care of aoki instead- BUT this is speculation at this point, its just something i think of and i figured i'd add it).

which what makes One Of My Favorite Yakuza Scenes all the more meaningful: the day masumi is found dead, that's when we get to see jo really lose it and gives us one of the bloodier moments in the franchise. us getting to see jo actually puncture someone's eye in really heightens his anger with the circumstances at hand- i concede that jo was genuinely frustrated with how the yakuza were being toyed with, but i also dont doubt for a second he was sincere when he told ishioda he wanted to maim whoever took out masumi ishioda was probably thanking the stars tendo was the one to do him in amirite LMAOO. whether it's because of yakuza honor or having lost someone he cared about, jo's dedication is palpable and frightening when it's allowed to flourish

its weird to say tho someone said it a long time ago on one of my tags, but jo's sentimental for a yakuza, even if he wants to be a hard ass about it. he's made his life's purpose trying to right a wrong that can never be fixed (hell, his manner of fighting can be translated as "shame style" reaffirming that despite the years gone by and aoki's actions and disregard for him, he can't quell his guilt. never mind he was ready to take off ichi's finger based on the assumption he took aoki's money from him with his permission), and along the way i'm Hopeful in saying he found SOMEWHAT of a confidant in masumi to make his burden a bit lighter.

jo's by no means a good guy- not even by a long shot. he IS however an incredibly compelling character, and i'm glad that we get to see him somewhat again in LaD8 for however long they'll keep him around in that.

also his theme fucks 11/10 brutality's a fucking banger

[sexysilverstrider]

please please please your thoughts on teratai and kieran’s relationship so far in the story and where you think it’s heading 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

ok ive hold on to this ask for quite a while im ready to put it together

lemme summarize teratai: shes the school champion who has the promise of being the official paldean champion once geeta steps down. shes practically the most famous and sought out person. men and women want her. men even want to BE her judging by the amount of popularity she has. teratai has charisma. she gets confessed at least once a month (once a WEEK after her final major battle w nemona) but she politely turns them down. she is kind and helpful, assisting juniors with their work and inspiring seniors and helping teachers too. teratai just has this role that her actions help people.

teratai shines the most during battles coz her serious and charming nature just blows everyone away. everytime she sends out her meowscarada or shiny volcarona ppl are just swooned at the fierce smirk on teratais face.

of course her best friends arven nemona and penny are close with her. whatever problems she has, they know. teratai is friendly but these 3 know her better as time flies by.

speaking of nemona. teratai often has battles w her the most. of course, so far teratai has won all the battles and not once did nemona feel sad or crestfallen. if anything, the losses made her more motivated in battling. teratai is just as pumped. no one can beat her. and battling her once makes someone stronger and a better person.

she also has a legendary. to hv a strong pokemon choose her is somethng she never thought much about. koraidon chose her and arvens just yes please take him i dnt want him and teratais just okay. its normal for her.

at least, thats what she thought of before she met kieran.

now i hcanon tht the kitakami trip is a month long. enough to form a nice normal friendship w someone. teratai is used to ppl wooing over her esp juniors so to see kieran in awe of her is nthing new.

hwever, as they grow closer as field trip partners teratai starts to get kieran to open up more. note: teratai is used to ppl like kieran but shes never close to someone like him. to not hv her 3 bffs close by obvsly teratai becomes friendlier to kieran (and it extension carmine). so teratai convinces kieran to walk by her side, talk to each other, share lil life adventures together, battle one another.

teratai is a person who likes to tease so sometimes she teases kieran cutely. about how hes really good at battling and hw passionate he is when commanding his pokemon. teratai thinks its cute.

she also cutely teases that the lil mole on his neck is adorable. and gets surprisingly flustered when kieran teases back about the lil mole under her left eye. it made her heart skip a beat but she thinks its just the moment.

teratai then surprises herself when SHE casually said tht they can go together to the festival. kieran was surprised too but happily accepts.

now i hv a fic in my mind about their festival date but long story short it was a magical moment to them.

now remember what i said abt hw teratai always wins n esp w nemona every nemoma loses she just laughs happily? teratai never thought much about it. she always assumes battling her brings out the best in people.

that is until she battled kieran during the whole ogerpon ordeal.

she saw how broken he is. she saw how HATEFUL he is towards her. the moment she chose to not tell the truth (in vain hope to protect kieran). the moment ogerpon chose her. these were the last straws of their beautiful friendship.

its broken and for the first time, teratai sees clearly how her actions brought out dire consequences.

[attila-werther]

ngl this whole marriage negotiation scene is truly. huh. you know what mean.

[2for2long]

i want to hear everything you think about all the medias your obsessed with even if i’m not in the fandom 😍

I LOVE U ROREVER AND EVER AND FOREVER

tlos

ok so OBVIOUSLY im starting with tlos and atom!!!!!!!! I LOVE it i was literally crying over alex bailey the other night <3 it means a lot to me because (i know it sounds corny and whatever but) it really helped me when i was alone and i just really saw myself in alex and im really attached to her!!!! god the sacrifices she had to make throughout the series? perfect!!!!!

first she lost her dad, and essentially her mom as well which knocked out two of her best friends!! and one can assume that since her brother was far more popular(? had more people to talk to at least if i am remembering correctly) she felt extremely alone for that year after!! and then she gets sent to the fairytale world? with all her role models and comfort characters? a girl could only dream to have that!! and then when she's there she nearly dies (like all main characters <3) and then she's forced to go back!!! back to a world where she doesn't fit in and has no one! and then she gets to go back!!! of course her mom's in danger after being captured but it still mustve felt good to be back. and then she had to defeat ezmia when all hope had been lost!! all on her own!!! and was willing to sacrifice her life to save the world because it was HER world, all that she had!!!!! and then she had to choose between the two worlds she had. the otherworld, a place where she never fit in, but her mother and brother (the only family she had for the past 2 years) were, or the fairytale world, where she BELONGED and had a role other than conner's quiet, smart sister!!!!!! and then in the next book!! she meets rook. and oh i could go on about rook and alex forever they were so tragic!! she met a boy and for the first time felt fairytale love, what she had read about for years, and it all came crashing down again!!! he betrayed her and even though she understood and undoubtedly wouldve done the same to save her father as well (rook had to give away alex's plans to the grand army to save his village from being fed to a dragon) she just couldnt trust him and had to let go but still loved him as a friend!!!

now im a little rocky on what exactly happens in the last 3 books because i read them all at once and it blurs together in my head but!! oh the scene where she meets her role models. she's being hyped up by the very girls that she spent hours thinking and dreaming about and they were all there for HER so that she could save the ones she loved AGAIN!!! and damn rook sacrificing his life for alex, which momentarily lifts her curse only for her to be 10x more destructive because she lost ANOTHER person?? kiss kiss i love it. and i cant forget arthur of course i love those two together!!! the fact he literally sped up his own story just to be with her was so sweet. anyway back to alex <3 she just does so much and lost so much and sacrificed so much but by the end of the series its all WORTH IT shes done it shes grown old in a home where she BELONGS with her family and she and conner are still as close as ever!!!

as for conner bailey i dont really relate much to him </3 not at the start anyway. when i was younger i was much more like alex, a gifted kid and just staying with my books. but now that im older i can see conner more. he lost his best friend too. and then barely a year after that he's introduced to this crazy world where NOTHING is the same, and he doesnt like it, and he wants to go back but his sister wants to do nothing but stay!!! theyre two sides of a coin as intended yk? i think they were grieving their dad in different ways where conner was trying to move on and alex was looking for their dad in the little things but i dont have much reason to that and it doesnt really relate right now so! and when he finally gets home everything keeps changing. ever since his dad died, everything's become turned on it's head and it won't stop changing.

and here i want to take a break from conner and talk more about the differences between conner and alex because i love alex and will never not think about her but also because theyre so different and yet they work so well together. both of them liked it better when their dad was alive; conner had friends, had a dad to joke with, and alex had her books, had a dad to comfort her. when he died, they both started to become more depressed i guess? less themselves. i mean its literally established because conner is said to have kept falling behind in school while alex pushes herself into it. i like to think it was their own ways of coping where conner wanted everything to just stop for a moment and let him take it in because from how its described everything just happened so damn fast, from their dad dying to the funeral to their mom being gone at work to them having to move and it just keeps changing. alex's way of coping seems to have always been to distract herself or immerse herself into something (e.g., fairytales) so she instead does this with her work because it makes her proud to see that something is changing for the better, even if that meant that her dad really was gone.

and then next thing he knows time keeps moving and fuck! he's lost his sister to the fairytale world forever. she chose there, and he chose the otherworld. and then, yes, she's back! but fuck, now their grandma's dead! and damn they have an evil uncle? and god they have to spend more years of their life stopping it? at least he got a gf and a basically-brother out of it. i think he wrote the fairytaletopia series as a way to cope with losing those years of his life because holy shit those were definitely some important years in a person's development and they were just for fighting, what, 3 entire wars?

tldr alex and conner coped with the loss of their father in different ways that ended up making them take different paths in life but because of the adventures they suffered through together they're still as close as ever

(can you tell i think about alex a lot more)

atom

i have a lot of thoughts about this trilogy. first of all im really hoping theres a 4th or that colfer somehow clears up the whole snow queen incident? if xanthous killed her, why is she still alive? wouldnt brystal have done something about it? or any of the fairy council? its well-known she's still around too. so what's up with that?

i love brystal and lucys friendship developing. theyre shown to be best friends in tlos and honestly they seem like more than best friends in atom but thats just me being queer!! (but theres also no way any main character in this series is not some sort of queer, i mean it's literally just. a large metaphor about discrimination. specifically queerphobia but literally just discrimination as a whole. i mean literally sevens whole thing mirrored HORRIBLE groups like nazis and the kkk with them trying to eradicate the fairies and anyone different if that makes sense) i havent reread this series in a while apart from xelrik moments so i cant call out many specifics however!! brystal being the first one to connect to lucy <3

and wow the third book. xanthous being the LITERAL KING OF HELL? hell yeah!!! my man got a boyfriend and a whole army of fire behind him. AND HE TREATS THEM FAIRLY!!! im just confused how elrik manages to stay alive? (i like to think that while xanthous is taking care of the whole tlos thing elrik is watching over the firey pits of hell they rule together <3) i cant express how much i love that colfer just made these two gay asses the RULERS OF HELL. and oh xanthous as a whole!!!

his abusive dad saying he cant do anything unmanly. i love love thinking that eventually, one day, emeralda (emerelda?? i forgot help) helps him realize that being 'unmanly' is okay and helps him work through his trauma cause they have a really cute sibling dynamic!!! <3

also tangerina and skylene are adorable. <3

pjo/hoo/toa

okay well. see. its more than 15 books worth of thoughts. AND I HAVENT EVEN READ TSATS YET BUT I ALREADY LIKE IT

so obviously percys entire character development in pjo is just. mwah <3 he falls flat in hoo and i wish he'd just been a mentor and it be like a passing the sword kind of thing? like oh, the next generation of demigod heroes!! ill help them so they dont have it as hard as i did when i went through a war! and same thing with annabeth. i love their relationship so much. ive always been in love with the friends to lovers dynamic and the way this was pulled off, holy shit. 4 long years of pining and teasing and now theyre in love forever!!

i really love thinking about side characters so im just gonna run through the ones i love the most and why really quick!!!

the stolls!! i LOVED that connor was said to be upset at his brother leaving in toa!! i feel like it showed off their sibling love more yk? i have a LOT of thoughts about them arguing about college. because like yeah 👍👍

all of cabin 10 & 4 <3 im obsessed with them actually!!!!!!!!!! my loves <3 especially drew and lacy and katie <3

THE VICTORS!!!! theyre so so <3 see they r in a trio with drew tanaka and they are a POWER TRIO

ok going into friendgroups now oops!! me when when the thoughts

drew katie bianca in this one au <3 see if bianca lived she would a yearish younger than drew and katie i think and this au deals with that and i made a really long timeline for this au so yall should totally ask me ab it 😋

stolls and leo and will also in an au lmao 💪

ok im tired of talking now ill add more later school is tiring 😋

[mothervvoid]

the switch-up dudebros pulled on izuku after 431 needs to be studied (okay it's not actually a secret: see paragraph below) bcos in 430 he's being clowned on as a washed up fast food worker and then in 431 he's "matured" and "moved on" with his life and katsuki is seen as this childish hanger-on who can't move on. like why did you even WATCH mha? the whole series is literally dedicated to izuku attempting to fulfill this lofty childhood dream that seems near unattainable for him--a desire he achieves, by his own hands and the hands of his friends and classmates and specifically through katsuki, who at one point literally mocked him for wanting to achieve his childhood dreams. you can argue the narrative switch-up is suppose to be a full-circle moment, where katsuki is now in the position of the hopeless dreamer and izuku has achieved his newly re-oriented dreams [ lost my train of thought ]

(right here) it's misogyny, at least IN PART. i know that there's a very sizeable part of the fandom, particularly on twitter (which is where the worst of this took place) that do not like katsuki, ESPECIALLY men. HOWEVER, there were cuck jokes flying around, the most egregious of which was people joking that katsuki did/should impregnate ochako or "got her" as if she's a trophy to be won by one of the main male characters instead of her own character with her own arc (that is subsequently ruined by the way it's portrayed in 431 anyway). in 431 izuku "gets" ochako. her arc is disregarded and we get that lame-ass handshake ending.