#im just a failure with no interiority to you what is there to even love. the idea of fixing me or playing family? spare me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hu4ngs · 5 years ago

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royalty au for jaehyun??

omg YASSSSSSSSSSS i love jaehyun so much p l e a s e

ok so royalty au huh

okay lets see

so this kinda ended up like a strangers to lovers au because im cliche like that

so jaehyun is quite a famous crown prince

he’s known very well for his peaceful ways of finding solutions to problems other than war

not too mention he’s a strong prince too

and on top of all of that he’s very kind

he’s literally a whole package i would marry him no cap

n e ways

a lot of kingdoms wishes to marry their child to him

jaehyun, too, wishes to be in love and marry too

but he never gets the chance

because most noble families just doesn’t catch his eye

the king and queen respects his decision

because he can even be a single king if he wants too. no pressure at all for mr princey here

jaehyun also believes in soulmates

so, he thinks when the time is right, he will cross paths with his soulmate

and when the time comes, only then will he marry

so anyways

one day, on a particular afternoon, the kingdom of jung was greeted by a sudden visit by your kingdom — by you

you visited along with your parents with the purpose of proposing

you were the firstborn of your kingdom

you had always dreamt of marrying someone handsome and charming — much like jaehyun — if only you weren’t so shy

plus, your kingdom had a rule that the ruler must be of a married couple

and your father wants to step down soon, which mean the pressure is on for you

so here you are, you’ve travelled far just to propose

this isn’t how you wanted it to happen

you always imagined it’s the prince that will propose, not you

and yet here you are

so now you’re standing in front of jaehyun’s parents, and jaehyun himself, with your handmaiden next to you along with your offerings to him

but there was silence

your mind actually went blank you don’t know what to do

“your highness” your handmaiden whispered

“huh?”

“say your lines…”

“OH!”

you cleared your throat

you’re so nervous omg you’ve never done this before

“your royal highness, prince jaehyun, i- uh- i stand before you with offerings!”

you were stuttering, your face was red, you’re sweating, you’re all over the place

and jaehyun watched you with amusement

he’s been proposed before, but he’s never seen a proposal as clumsy as this

you rambled on with whatever you had to say, jaehyun wasn’t sure what you were saying either, but you were fun to watch

after you were done, there was silence

your handmaiden was having a secondhand embarrassment

after that long, awful pause that was killing your insides slowly, jaehyun giggled

he shocked his parents, you, and basically everyone that was in the same room

“is this supposed to happen? why is he laughing?”

“i don’t know, your highness”

“did i fail?”

“i’m not sure, your highness”

you glanced at jaehyun, who had a small smile to his face as he stared at you, “you’re funny, princess.”

that was all that he said, before he retreated

and that was it for that day

you were excused

but since you live far away, you were allowed to stay in the kingdom for a few extra days.

that night, you told your mother exactly what happened

and she laughed too

she assured you that you can try again the following day

but you’re not even sure if you want to try again

what’s the use anyways? he had laughed at you

it felt like he spat on your face

you went to bed with that heavy feeling in your heart; failure

the next day you woke up a little later than usual

so there was no one at breakfast except for you

as you were half eating, half admiring the interior design of the palace

you didn’t notice jaehyun had joined in too

he sat at the other end of the table, afraid that if he sat anywhere closer, it would bother you

when you noticed him, your face turned as red as your morning dress

“y-your highness! good morn- uh- hello- um hi?”

he laughed again

his laugh sounded so sweet, though, you kinda felt honoured he thinks you’re an idiot

“you’re very amusing, my dear,” he told you

the nickname shouldn’t have bothered you as much as it did

he was far from you, but you still couldn’t stand looking at him

you’re embarrassed, nervous, anxious, everything

“you woke up late?” he asked

you’re kinda surprised he’s actually bothered to talk to you honestly

you nodded

“you, too?” you asked, you’re glad the funny tone has left you, and you’re not as nervous as you were seconds ago

he shook his head, “no, i just had a bit of a wardrobe malfunction”

you nodded awkwardly, not knowing what to say

“you don’t propose often, do you?” he suddenly asked

you thought you were over with being embarrassed, but now that he mentioned the event from before again…

you slowly shook your head

“that was my first time” you mumbled, loud enough for jaehyun to hear, though

jaehyun was impressed

“you’re cute, you know that?”

the alarms in your head were going off like crazy

your eyes widened

did he just call me cute

am i cute to him

so did i manage to woo him like what my mum told me to?

after noticing how silent you are

jaehyun decided to leave

he understands you’re probably super flustered anyways

and he kinda feels bad for complimenting you like that

clearly you’re not in the right headspace to accept straightforward compliments like that

later on the same day, you decided to wander off on your own

you didn’t have anything better to do anyways

as you wander off, you came across a music room

you love music

you’re especially skilled in playing a particular chinese instrument, guzheng

you doubted there was one in this music room, though

but to your luck

there was one!!

but it looked a little older compared to the other instruments

not forgetting to be cautious, you look around to see if anyone was nearby

its not that you’re prohibited to play an instrument in the music room or something, you just didn’t want people to watch you because you’ll get nervous

when you’re sure no one’s around you started playing the instrument

you were playing a song that you haven’t practice as much for, thus you were making a few mistakes here and there

but it’s okay, no one’s around anyways

after you were done, you sat there, kinda proud

like, you did that!!

without any musical sheet too

as you were sitting there, giving yourself an imaginary pat on the back

you heard someone walking

“i thought something was weird!”

it was the familiar, sweet voice again

it was jaehyun

you quickly tensed

jaehyun was so close to you

like this super handsome, charming, talented prince is literally next to you

“you played beautifully”

you look away to save yourself

not only is he close to you than he has ever been before, he also appreciated your talent

“i made a lot of mistakes though”

you finally forced something out of your throat

jaehyun hummed in response, he then took a seat next to you

now hes like super close

you could literally feel his body heat now

your heart is genuinely about to burst

it’s not that you’re a virgin to all of this or something

it’s just that jaehyun is super attractive ok

“well yeah, but if you could play as good as that without a music sheet, how well will you do with one?” he asked

you looked at him, and he looked at you

you kinda wanna kiss him ngl but you’re a p r i n c e s s you can’t do this

“you’re really… kind” you finally said

you were genuine

this whole time

jaehyun has been nothing but nice to you

no matter how many times you’ve screwed up

he never stops treating you like a human being rather than a princess and/or soon-to-be queen

and he has never looked down on you, either

you thought that he couldn’t have been bothered to approach you after all that proposing mess, but he proved you wrong

you’re touched, honestly

it’s literally been about a day and a few hours since you met him but you kinda understand why so many kings tries so hard to marry their child off to jaehyun

“when i heard you play from a distance just now…”

he trailed off

you snapped out of your own train of thoughts and gave your attention to him

“it reminded me of my grandmother, she’s… well, she’s no longer with me now, but she used to play this guzheng when i was a boy,”

“i don’t have much memory of her, but i remember her playing this elegantly so clearly”

you’re kinda in daze

like wow did he just opened up to you

jaehyun chuckled

“sorry, i got a little nostalgic there” he laughed

you laughed too, “no worries” you told him

he looked over to you, and smiled

“are you sure you’re ready for marriage, your highness?”

you were taken aback with his sudden question

but then again, jaehyun has been doing nothing but surprise you so far

so you decided to just be honest

you shrugged

“i honestly don’t know, but i don’t mind, either. if i’m being married off to the right person, then all is fine.”

“will you mind if i marry you then?”

you choked on your own saliva lmAo

you’re like WHAT

but you can’t just scream that to his face wtf

“are you serious?”

he nodded confidently

“i’d love to get to know you, you’re a curious one, dear”

you smiled shyly

HE CALLED ME DEAR AGAIN!! IF HE DOES IT AGAIN I’LL GET A HEART ATTACK

“i’m just an idiot.” after a long pause, you finally joked, and he laughed

and there it is again, that laugh that sounds so much like a tune

“it’s refreshing to have a trainwreck around me, you know? every second i’m with you, you never fail to amuse me.”

there it is again, those damned warm, nice and encouraging words that could melt the snow during the cold, cold winter

he called me a train wreck, but it’s okay, i am a train wreck

“so what do you say?” he asked

you paused for a moment

i mean…

prince jaehyun is a whole package

plus he’s so nice to you

having to spend the rest of your life with somebody who treats you humanely and accepts your flaws? that’s a jackpot

“of course i’d marry you! i proposed to you, damn it!” you said, and hit him jokingly

he laughed again

and you laughed too

after a moment of laughter

you two just sat there staring at each other

jaehyun is a charmer, yes

but he’s also just a shy bean deep down

he knew this was an opportunity to kiss you or whatever

but he felt like it was too early for that

so instead, he tucked the few strands of your hair behind your ear

“i have a feeling, that you’ll be an amazing queen, one day,” he said almost quietly, almost like he was whispering

you felt touched by his words

god he’s so sweet i wanna marry this man

“we just met, but it feels like i’ve known you my whole life.” you told him with a smile

he couldn’t help it

he ended up kissing your forehead

you never thought you’d fall in love so quickly

but you did

and you fell for prince jaehyun

and you’re not worried, because jaehyun is worth falling for

#jaehyun #nct jaehyun #nct scenarios #nct fanfic #nct imagine #NCT #jaehyun scenarios #jung jaehyun #jung yoonoh #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun prince au #jaehyun royalty au #prince jaehyun #nct 127 #nct fluff #nct x reader #jaehyun au

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spindleprick · 4 years ago

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Hi Taryn! You definitely don't have to answer this but I was wondering if you could give any tips on filling out applications for an rp? I'll have such a good grasp on a character in my head but never know how to convey it in the application (which usually results in the role being given to someone else). I believe I get stuck on future plots and IC para samples.

hey! i’m more than happy to help in any way i can! c: i should say that i feel those are the portions of the application i end up struggling with, or at least worrying over, the most myself -- so you’re not alone! what helps for me in these areas overall is approaching the section or problem from a different angle, but i’ll try and get down a few suggestions specific to each portion you’re challenged by.

FUTURE PLOTS.

i definitely know what it’s like to get a feel or sense of the character, but struggle to manifest them for others to see. in these cases, what i find helps is getting compartmentalizing different aspects of the character and working on one little section at a time until it starts to form the big picture.

outline their motivation / driving forces, even if its just key words -- love vs. success, revenge vs. unity, etc. what are little actions or big schemes that line the path to achieving these things? or most importantly -- do you even see them achieving them at all? failure is just as valid and sometimes a more interesting plotline.

daydream. think cinematically. if your character was the star of their own movie, what would be the first act, second, third? how does their life differ in each portion? if a certain scenario comes to mind, jot down a few notes. come down to it later and flesh it out.

start from the end and work backwards! the middle parts will inevitably be trickier, but you might have a better sense of how you envision this character ending up. i would recommend looking at this from two different angles as well -- the interior (eg. mental/emotional state) and exterior (career/passions/ambitions/scores to settle).

try and think of similar characters from established media! what was their arc, and what were some memorable scenes from their book/movie/show? if you were to translate those actions to the universe of this character, what would it look like?

PARA SAMPLES.

do you struggle with finding the right Scene to expand upon, or portraying the character Within the scene? i find those would have different solutions!

the “think cinematically” bullet from the other section still stands -- take a break from staring at your google doc and just lay down for a second. find an instrumental playlist or a film soundtrack and just get weird. think dramatic, think kitschy. don’t criticize yourself on the stuff you picture. even if there’s 12 duds, the 13th might be gold!

these are probably things admins usually say anyway, but if there’s a biography for your character, comb over it for events -- they don’t even necessarily need to be hugely important or defining, so long as they spark muse.

headcanon!! constantly observe around you for a little moment that sparks “oh, that’s totally XYZ character.” you would be surprised by the amount of paragraph samples i come up with based on an offhand thought

for me personally, i would always recommend having at least a little bit of dialogue or person-to-person interaction. introspective pieces are certainly nice, but i find it’s really important to showcase how the character is going to be seen (read) and interacted with in-game.

if nothing else: just imagine up a starter! create an NPC in your head who responds to it, and create your sample writing both parts.

i think that’s what i have off the top of my head! also, if you just want someone to bounce ideas off of, you can always find me in my IMs or ask to add me on discord <3 happy writing, i hope you get the characters you want!!

#rp life #roleplay help #writing help #ask #anon #answered

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gotatext · 5 years ago

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hllo ! i’m nora ( she / her, 24, gmt ) crawling back to this rp once more like the dirty sewer slug i am !! i just can’t get enough, baybeyyy ! u may remember me frm such roles as alma putnam, rory bergstrom, bridget matusiak or greta o’driscoll 2 name jst a few.... sure there were more over these long years, bt the show must go on.... this is mimi, she’s dogmatic, tenacious n single-minded 2 the point of recklessness, she doesn’t like handouts n she’s funding her degree through her onlyfans account n moaning abt shit on tiktok. we love 2 see it !! slam that like button n i’ll creep into ur DMs like the slippery worm i am OR u can discord me at that bitch carole baskin#8664. a humble pinterest.

『ALEXA DEMIE ❙ CIS-FEMALE 』 ⟿ looks like MIMI MARTÍNEZ is here for HER SOPHOMORE year as an ARCHITECTURE AND SOCIAL ANTHROPOLOGY student. SHE is 22 years old & known to be STRONG-WILLED, GOAL-ORIENTED, ARROGANT & EASILY BORED. They’re living in MORIS, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ nora. 24. gmt. she/her.

this is p embarassing but i actually originally wrote mimi for a discord rp based around love island asgjag dont laugh at me but it was so chaotic n someone deleted it w-out telling any of us so i lost her bio.... all her threads....e verythin.... it was mad. but anyway we startin from scratch w this intro so bare with

mimi is a really extra character so when trying to flesh her out i thot of the most extra thing i could do n made a colour coded mindmap with watercolour paints detailing her values, aesthetics and early life. shoot me

background: she grew up in a trailer home in boulder city, abt half an hour from vegas. her mom had worked in a vegas casino for most of her 20s but relocated to boulder city for a slower pace of life / lower crime rate when she started having kids. mimi has 2 older brothers n she’s the youngest. has that invulnerable younger sibling complex n basically thinks nothing can touch her. very confident in her own intelligence and her ability to get shit done

has mexican ancestry on her mom’s side. doesn’t know her dad. was raised with spanish catholic principals n found it all very stained glass windows and extra n that’s why she was kinda drawn to the decadence of vegas and all these massively high key aesthetics, like dia de les muertos was her fave thing growin up just bcos the pure feel of the festival and painting a sugar skull on her face n being able to party on the streets in a flower crown where everyone was kinda anonymous but together in this celebration

in boulder city her mom worked as a carer as there’s a lot of retirees there. mimi really resented the slow pace of life, longed for some fucking energy n life. she was a cheerleader in school but outside of school there wsn’t much to do except practise stunts and go on bike rides. occasionally they’d get dressed up and catch a bus to henderson, the next biggest city for them to get tht sweet night life

her teenage years consisted mostly of hanging around the renovated motel blocks used as housing projects n tanning by the pool. very florida project if you’ve seen that. she reminds me a lot of the mum in that. also she started working as an avon rep going door-to-door when she was 16 bcos she wanted to have her own income. like as young as 14 she’d decided she was smart enough to go to college but she didn’t have the money n her family didn’t really see it as a worthwhile thing, her mom was very like the mom from matilda “you chose books.... i chose looks!” which i think is where a lot of mimi’s more shallow / appearance-driven traits come from

wasn’t really ‘cool’ until high school. before that she was a bit of a lisa simpson type. won a spelling bee when she was 9. was in the mathletes squad in middle school. when she went from middle school to high school she started cheer and tried to reinvent herself basically. always been very concerned with social mobility and keen to socially climb, like when she enters a new situation she’ll find out who the alphas are and quickly try n befriend them

when she turned 18 she moved out and went to vegas despite her mom hating the idea bcos it was everything she’d tried to get her kids away from. she worked in the clubs there for several years as a shot girl, a table dancer, n eventually she started workin behind the bar in a strip club. in the club it ws really hard to resist becoming a dancer bcos of the sheer amount they made in tips. no one really pressured her into it she just eventually decided tht it was way more logical to do it while she was young n fit and had the stamina and ppl were willing to pay to see her body so she started taking pole fitness lessons. she also started working as a cam girl around this time

working in vegas strip clubs is basically whats paid for uni. like she didn’t go at 18 like most of her friends did bcos she didn’t have the money and she didn’t want to feel indebted to a college like she had to compete for her place and not put a toe out of line bcos she was on a scholarship. she was determined to pay her own way and it took 4 years of working really hard and saving n even tho she was working in vegas she basically never went out bcos every penny she had needed to go on uni n thts how we get to radcliffe baybeeyy

part 2 - interior / values / personality

values: the aesthetic !! literally loves the aesthetic so much. everything she owns is super embellished, she’s a pop socket gal, her dell laptop is covered in glitzy stickers, she always has acrylics n probs makes nail art videos on tiktok. really tuned into tiny details like painting a little hello kitty above her eye which translates into her degree when she’s doing small-scale mockups of town plans n stuff... she jst puts so much detail into them. ppl often get surprised when she tells them she does architecture but it makes so much sense bcos she grew up in a trailer park n was always thinking about ways the space could be more efficiently used, like she loves re-conceptualising neighbourhoods, definitely spent hours on sims as a kid. she also grew up near hoover dam n so loads of school trips they just took them there n she was like.... this is tight but it could be cooler.... where’s the passion....

massively into photography, has such a neat instagram feed like everything just compliments the tones in the next post like mMMM. idk if any of u know any architecture students but this is literally the one constant i can find…. like they all have super good instagrams feeds. is that bitch that will take 40 fake candids of u in a row at different angles to get u the perfect profile picture cos she understands the importance of marketing urself and having an online #brand

has wire rimmed glasses that she doesn’t need to see BUT they r like a magnifying glass for when she’s working with really small materials to do a mock up of an urban plan, and also just sometimes wears them for the aesthetic bc she’s such a pinterest bitch

assassination nation is such a big mood. literally the aesthetics of that and lily colson’s whole brand of feminism and nudity not being inherently sexual but at the same time wanting to profit off that bcos why the fuck shouldnt she use a corrupt system to her advantage is incredibly mimi

literally a human personification of a bratz doll both in attitude and fashion sense

somehow simultaneously gansey in the raven cycle AND elle woods in legally blonde? the two genders

values cont bc i started rambling: her independence and freedom. being the best at any given task she sets her mind to accomplish because she is unable to accept failure. social mobility. sexual liberation. interested in the psychology of sub-cultures and how ppl form groups and interact w each other and cult identities which is why she minors in anthropology. pro-choice. pro-weed legalisation. pro-sex worker rights. very activist.

aesthetics tht remind me of her: von dutch. a strappy cami top that says ‘please do not do coke in the bathroom’. low-waisted jeans that show off her belly button piercing. acrylic nails tapping against a heavily embellished second-hand dell laptop. heart shaped sunglasses in every colour. translucent stripper heels with barbie doll heads and plastic spiders in the heel. spraying champagne you cant afford all over the walls. narcotics in a heart shaped locket. an amazon wishlist full of lingerie linked on your tinder profile. sex tapes recorded on VCR. a religious devotion to waxing clinics. necking shots like you were born to do it.

she’s an enfj type which makes her pretty charismatic and confidence, like she has a fierce kind of energy to her, but she’s also super unwilling to accept criticism, dogmatic and can only really see her own way of thinking, quite ruthless when it comes 2 other ppls emotions despite having a poor control of her own and being prone to turbulence / throwin a bitch fit in the craft lab. easily bored. competitive. self-assured to the point of arrogance. forceful. adaptable. usually more rational than emotional but occasionally loses the ability to make rational decisions when blinded by a need for perfectionism.

very goal-oriented. money motivates her. money and clothes. she wants to look bomb while earning big bucks. when she gets her mind set on a project it literally consumes her she will forget to eat and sleep? i don’t know her. like when a final design project is due for architecture she’ll be up all night doing adderall and speed to keep her awake working on the placement of a single tree for ages cos its gotta be perfect

loves chaos. will spill your secrets and pretend it was an accident. will always be that gif of kim kardashian sipping her tea while drama unfolds around her. lives for the drama like that gifset of bratz when she comes running and gets her phone out to record a fight.

im makin her sound like a really bad person but hopefully she’ll be somewhat likeable she can be very charismatic and endearing and she’s naturally quite funny. also now she’s finally in college and doesn’t have to worry so much about money she actually allows herself to party n bcos she denied herself of it for so long she kinda makes up for it by going p wild like will be the girl climbing on to stage to crowd surf at gigs or doing a summersault off the bar and being escorted out by bouncers, thats the energy were looking at, pure dionysian hedonistic impulse

really gd at talking her way out of shit like parking fines. so good at being an ‘im baby’ girl and often dumbs herself down to figures of authority to appear less like a threatening ball-breaker and more like a confused fiat 500 girl who didn’t know red meant stop she thought it meant slow down

listens almost exclusively to female artists. has fergalicious on repeat when she does squats infront of the mirror n just the biggest fergie stan. also lana del rey’s whole vibe is massive mimi energy

ok ya thats all i have for now..... hopefully this is somewhat coherent and not just garbage.

#radintro #plot w me bitches #im fun n love quarantine sadness

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yandere-society · 6 years ago

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can i request y/n, having escaped either yandere hoseok or jungkook years later, living her new life with her new bf/husband (one of the members heh), when hoseok/jungkook barges in- while her new man is home.

This Side of Paradise

Admin/Writer; Chinkbihh

Trigger Warnings; blood, murder, slight gore, mention of brainwashing, if children in yandere makes you uncomfortable pls don’t read, also trash writing so that’s fun

Words;1.2k

“Determination becomes obsession and then it becomes all that matters.”

Hoseok always considered himself to be a clean person.

Or, at the very least, someone who partook in acts that would require the least amount of pick up.

But in this case...a mess somewhat came with the territory.

Still, Hoseok supposed he could’ve done the deed a bit more elegantly than what he had. He had no one to blame but himself for this mess.

Blood was splattered everywhere, painting the once pirstine and white tiled kitchen as a crimson mayhem. The owner of said blood laid face down on the floor, lifeless with a knife sticking out the neck that continued to ooze out blood.

Hoseok ‘tsked’ and moved over to the sink to wash off any leftover stains on his hands. Stepping over the corpse in the process, the new murderer muttered, “Poor bastard didn’t even see it coming.”

In fact, this husband of yours almost deserved it.

He stole you from Hoseok. An act that was unforgivable by any realms of truth. Then the fucker was dumb enough to take a stranger in who claimed to be an old friend of yours.

Friend.

Hoseok laughed out loud at that.

How absurd...

He was more than a friend. A fucking friend didn’t describe an ounce of what soul bound there was between you and Hoseok. It was meant to be. Something that wasn’t up for debate. A fact that should just be accepted by everyone around the two of you.

Hoseok frowned once more as he recalled that your husband had let him in without question, even offering him a drink before Hoseok attacked from the back.

So you hadn’t told your ‘hubby’ about your highschool boyfriend?

Hoseok suspected that if you had told him about Hoseok then the guy wouldn’t have been so keen to let him in. In the past, you did have a tendency to tell other classmates that Hoseok was ‘obsessed’ and a ‘stalker’. He didn’t hold it against you though, he rather liked the cat and mouse game that you two had. And that fact that you didn’t warn your husband only aided the theory that Hoseok had been suspecting all along;

You knew he would come back. You were just waiting for him like the good girl you were.

As Hoseok took a dish rag and dried his ruby-stained hands, he began to walk around the small house in inspection of your new life.

It wasn’t a grand house with elaborate decor, instead it was humble and cute. Your preference of simple interior design was spotted all around. The home was utterly normal, a traditional ‘stater home’ for a family of three. As it should remain that way.

Three.

All that will change is the husband. But that was easy to do, like replacing an actor with an eager understudy. Hoseok was all too willing to sweep in and take the responsibility of a father and a husband.

He supposed he should start getting to know his new son.

From the family portraits hung on the wall (Hoseok cringed and made a mental note to make his family get new ones now that he was here) he could gather that your son was very young, most likely between the ages two and five. The youngster had your eyes and hair, but there was no denying that the overall facial structure belonged to his dad and his dad alone. Yet there was enough of your features for Hoseok to find himself gazing fondly at the boy, this could’ve been very different if he was a direct copy of his biological father.

Hoseok wanted kids of his own the resembled him, one day. But there was always time to have some more children, he was certain that your son would love a younger sibling.

‘Seokjin sure was a lucky guy.’ Hoseok thought to himself. And it was true, this ‘Jin’ fella had everything Hoseok had ever wanted. The most perfect woman to call his wife and a child that was evidence of the love they held for each other. But like they say... ‘all good things must come to an end.’

What they also say is, ‘dress for the job you want, not the job you have.’

This is why Hoseok decided to take matters into his own hands and get everything prepared for his little ducklings.

He went into the master bedroom and sifted through the closet for a different set of clothes, something not tainted with blood stains. Jin was a bit more broad than him, but Hoseok paid it no mind and happily changed into his clothes. The man had a safe wardrobe, Hoseok observed with amusement, but that was to be expected of a family man.

Next, Hoseok returned to the bloody scene of the kitchen and began to drag the body out into the backyard garden. It wasn’t elaborate by any means, the main goal was just to get the body out of the house. It was a temporary fix as he figured he can keep you and the child away from the body for at least a few days before he would be forced to drop it into a ditch a few towns over.

This was considerably proven when Hoseok stepped back into the house to catch the sound of a large school bus rolling by, the laughter and squeals of children filling the empty air and echoing back within the small homes’ walls.

Grinning, Hoseok practically skipped to the front of the house to rip open the front door and watch his son arrive from school.

Already a proud father, Hoseok awaited the boy.

As you pulled up to the the familiar drive way of your home, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the living room window that glowed with life.

So Jin was up. He just hadn’t been answering your texts.

When you had texted him (about two hours prior) about making dinner tonight, you had just assumed that he was being an ass and didn’t want to cook. Why else wouldn’t he text back? Thus, the steaming bag of take out that sat beside you in your car.

You really hated having to resort to junk food to feed your family, but you were just so busy and had to work within your sons’ bed time. Besides, your son had a healthy diet. You and Jin always made homemade meals for him. What harm can some occasional chinese take out do to him?

You got out of your car and grabbed the food, prepared to walk in and nag Jin’s ear off about his failure to communicate with you.

Except when you entered the house, a sight was waiting for you, making you shut your mouth just as quickly as you had opened it.

A bloodcurdling sight that had the bag of take out falling from your now limp and clammy hands.

“H-Hoseok?”

The man was sat with your son on the floor, smiling and talking gently to the boy as they played with blocks to build miniature buildings. God knows how long he had been left alone with your child.

Your son turned to face you, baby face morphed into an expressive smile that pulled back his doughy soft cheeks as he whimsically called out, “Mommy, you’re home! Why didn’t you tell me I had another dad? He’s much better than the old one.”

(Okay so like Im sorry this was bad and short but my brain is literally fried due to the most intense exam of my life. i’m sorry...also why was it so hard to find cute hoseok gifs? Idk I liked the gif but like it didn’t scream yandere ya know? This is chinkbihh….signing out I guess....)

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feykyung · 5 years ago

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hi friends!! i’m jessie bringing u 450 yr old do kyunghwa who honestly needs to find better hobbies 😔 i wrote up a little human lifetime snippet here, but the rest of kyung’s 400+ yr history has yet to be filled with tons of Fun and Angsty stuff so that’s something to look forward to! :^) i’m weak for deep plots and i’m super excited to build sum intricate past/present connections with other vampires/species. granny doh has traveled far and wide carrying a book of all the stupid ways she can entertain herself... definitely in need of a few people to ground her. i managed to write a short PROFILE and PLOTS, but i also jotted down some more vague ideas and brief tl;dr below the cut! pls hmu if anything interests you!

TL;DR

born april 30, 1570 to a crippled scholar and two siblings. although the padre taught her to read and write, he was also silently struggling to support the household by just rewriting confucian texts and his own outdated books.

got engaged to a government official’s bastard and started something of an orphanage with him, but the children were massacred while trying to flee across the nam river from invading samurai. only kyunghwa and one of the little girls, sookja, barely survived after kyunghwa dragged them to another village with a doctor.

worked under him for a while but before they could leave to search for hubby samdeok, the japanese launched a second widespread attack. while the villagers & nobles were escaping, a nobleman got shoved off the side of the cliff by his own ox and pulled kyunghwa down with him 😳

just before she was about to give up and die on the forest floor, a passing (godsend) vampire offered a second chance at life and turned her into a fledgling. all she wanted to do was see sookja grow up and marry someone nice, partly to atone for her failure to protect all those children, and partly because she hadn’t yet sought retribution on their murderers. lived with her sire for some ~20 years

after bidding him farewell and helping out with sookja’s children, kyunghwa disguised herself as a man and served as a field surgeon of sorts during the first manchu invasion. after three months, went to work in the rice paddies to initiate her mission of Not going back to living in dirt

for the following couple decades, all she really focused on was making money and refining her supernatural abilities. the first time she got rich, she hadn’t heard of Financial Responsibility and nearly lost all her fortune until her sire had to relocate her and tell her to stop

fell in love with another human while travelling, but after remembering how lonely it is to watch your lover grow old and sick while you’ve haven’t aged for a hundred years, she stopped trying to have meaningful relationships with most mortals

was once much more cutthroat and feral toward humans and hunters, mostly because the worst ones would always use death as a means of escape. now, though, she doesn’t fuck w/ humans too much as a vampire, only when she’s disguised as one of them in society

has a painting/picture of every house she’s ever owned. before she turned 150, she used to also keep a written list of her closest human friends and lovers so she would always remember them, but kept forgetting to add to it so it’s somewhere collecting dust in the attic rn

regularly donates to orphanages and children’s programs, and established a couple mostly in the countryside

has developed an “it is what it is” mentality. she doesn’t actively seek death, but no longer exhausts herself just to avoid it. though when she’s killed, she’d prefer it to be when she no longer has any regrets

loves to admire her different masters degrees and like two or three doctorates, all acquired from frequently changing her profession on whim.

played sims when it first came out and *naturally* became an interior designer after, which is what she’s been for the past 6 years

highkey thinking about learning how to train elephants now (on a side note, she tried to tame a werewolf in wolf-form once but almost got killed by their entire pack)

uses telekinesis to get her cat out of the tree

MORE PLOT IDEAS!

vampires she’s known for centuries or ones just meeting each other for the first time

has sired two fledglings in her lifetime

currently not the biggest fan of killing humans to keep them silent, which is why she almost exclusively drinks from donors/donor bags. when you guys are out one night, one or both of you loses control. somehow you always bring out the worst (or feral) in her and a few weeks later, she still won’t get over how you “made” her kill that human after her 24 year clean streak

any genera friends!

classmates from grad school who wonder why this bitch looks the exact same as she did a few years ago

witches that she lends a bit of her blood to as long as she gets to see the final result of the spell. also might’ve been friends w/ ur great grandma

a witch she’s been pestering to invent the spell that makes blood taste like human food

cat-and-mouse dynamic with a hunter bc even tho kyunghwa’s unafraid of death, she still hasn’t built her greenhouse to grow banana plants yet

um that’s it so far if i think of any more i’ll probably plop them on my plot page but yeah!! if there’s anything particular you’d like to explore, i’d love to flesh things out/brainstorm through ims or discord ♡

#— ooc.#fey; plot call #turns out i was just kidding when i said brief #thank u for all the welcomes and messages!! will get to them in a bit <3

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mabsj · 5 years ago

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30/12/19

Hellooowww Tumblrr Diary... Late update I guess because my schedule is abit tight today.. (29/12).. I schedule myself spending time with families, they wanted to have their lunch at bedok Sri Bistari.. Should try and if you want to eat Roti John, Nasi Ayam Penyet, thats a place I can recommend.. If someone who loves to eat Pengat Durian, they are selling too.. But have to be quick because its limited only.. Well Diary, today was a tiring day.. Spend time with my family for lunch at bedok, then I went for my fitness to gain back not muscles, but strength.. ahahaha.. But if muscles would be fine.. hahahah.. Anywayssss... Supposedly I'm meeting my best buddy (Hisyam).. Well....Turns out I cancel it because He's somewhat late so I want to finish my fitness early.. So I texted him to cancel and we find another day Insyaa'Allah.. So after having lunch, spend time with my family, send them back home, change my attire bla bla bla, get to my car, drive off to ECP(East Coast Park).. Yeeeaaapp.. I decided to change the menu.. I mean...venue.. So I make some quick jog, and my cousin called.. This cousin of mind, He's a littllllee bit fetish.. Not fetish in that.. But fetish in riding up.. Yeah.. He pass his bike license and buy a 1st hand bike.. He loves bikes.. But for me,, I loves cars.. Not luxuries I supposed.. So I continue my jog and some push ups, pull up and I jogg back to where I park my car because Im meeting him there.. So he arrive and we walk to this so called like a foot bench.. Cant describe it but if you were a photogenic type of person who loves to take a picture with nice view scenery of the sunset, thats the place.. So he sat down having out nonsense conversations and he ask me if I would ever accompany him if he were want to ride up with me.. My answer is, I WOULD LOVE TO.. Like who doesnt want to travel right ?? Drive up, see the scenery, visiting neighbour country.. But he told me, Im much more faster driver than him.. But woah.. I have to stop that.. He know I've been to Thailand by driving up.. Border of Narathiwat.. So he ask me, whats the feeling like.. I said, wonderful.. Lots of Challenging.. He wants to try but he was scared.. Because his bike is R15 V3.. 2B bike.. But I said, my nephew ride X1R to thailand and he is also 2B bike.. Much smaller tank than yours.. But he manage..If a smaller bike can manage, why not you.. I said to him.. Your pitstop is mucb more than car.. I drove up, my only pitstop is top up some petrol.. Which is from full till empty lights on, it took me 450km.. Smaller bikes can reach up est 150km-250km depending on what type of 2B bikes.. Cars is more tiring even if we drive fast, even if we got aircon, roof, but once you fall asleep, thats it.. that car will turn into a bed of yourself..

So he ask me why dont I change my car to drive like bigger CC cars example like BMW, MERC, AUDI, VOLKSWAGEN, JAGUAR, ESTIMA, VELLFIRE, ALPHARD.. And I told him, thats is what every single person dream of to have.. But mine is different.. I dont dream of having that car.. I dont like is.. My favourate car is sports car.. Not exotic supercar like skyline gtr.. nope.. Thats not me.. I prefer sports car like Subaru Impreza, Mitsubishi Lancer GT, Colt plus Turbo.. Those legally modified cars.. Eventhough they aren't that luxury, but the interior you can make it luxury.. My mindset of buying a car is not about luxury or feeling luxury.. Its about traveling with ease, comfort.. Its how you change to make it comfortable.. Yes I drove a red Subaru.. Its loud.. I named that car Sabre.. Because its loud and fast except not blow off valve sound.. And I save that my money and bought that car and pay full cash.. But I have to let it go due to lots of mechanical failure.. So I change to Mitsubishi Colt Plus Turbo.. Not so sporty and big.. Just a small zippy white car looks like a hatchback.. But the engines ladies and gentlement.. I was shock by with its pick up power and withstand power.. Its incredible.. Much faster than my Sabre(Subaru).. With Mivec Turbo, Smooth engine, Loud blow off valve sound, Turbo installed and thats a beauty.. I fall in love to that car and I trade in my Sabre to that.. And I named is, Beetle.. It looks like a beetle to me due to the body size and the face of the car..

Yeap.. Thats the beauty.. My longest journey with this lady is to Narathiwat Thailand.. I know Singapore cars heading to Thailand can only cross border at Kayu Hitam(Perlis).. So no choice.. I head there visiting my late uncle family there as we unable to visit him when he passed away.. So there was me(driver), passengers is my mum, cik rasid(Uncle), Cik noi(Aunty) and Ramdhan(Cousin).. 5pax in this car travelling to Narathiwat.. We depart at night around 9pm Singapore at my Aunty house.. So we go through via Tuas-Second Link and stop at gelang patah for them to buy food, snacks, cigg whatsoever.. we departed at 10pm.. I was the main and only driver.. I make calculations before the trip on how many times I need to pump, how many pitstop, and total KM journey, est total hours and est time arrival.. Initially it goes as plan as what I plan on hardcopy.. 1hr break on every pitstop.. Total hours including pit stop is 18hrs estimated including pit stop.. total journey, going there took me 1256km.. not counted as going back to singapore.. thats times 2..

So we depart from gelang patah at 10pm.. My first pit stop is Yong Peng bus terminal pit stop where every busses stop there.. We arrive there 1hr 15mins as what I clocked in inside my stopwatch.. But sadly many of the halal food is closed.. so we head to next RnR.. And gladly its open.. so we had some food to eat.. 1hr.. I finish my food, I go to the massage chair for massage.. insert in Rm10 and all mine.. but halfway I let my mom continue because the massage chair beside me spoiled.. hahahaha.. And we departed at 11.15pm.. I decided to have additional pit stop for me to had my cold bath to wake me up and drink some coffee, have some cigg.. not sure whats the pitstop name.. Because i've been driving for 2hrs and 30mins non stop and I feel sleepy.. Time was like around 2am plus.. I had my bath and drink strong coffee because normal coffee still makes me sleepy.. And smoke some sticks.. So time still shows 2am plus.. And I continue the trip.. The rest all are asleep.. Only me are awake.. In order for them to sleep peacefully, I plug in my earpods.. ahahaha.. So I played hip hop songs with full blast.. We reach KL RnR pitstop at around 3.45am.. shock huh.. I was driving 140km/h with 5pax inside.. hahahaha.. So they all had their meals whatever.. 4.30am, we continue the journey.. Same as usual, everybody was asleep.. I continue driving.. Drive about 2hr30mins, we arrive at Penang.. Slightly above penang.. ahahaha.. Time shown is 6am.. so me, my mum, my aunty went for our subuh prayers.. I felt fresh after my prayers.. so I grab myself some coffee and some fruits so we head on to our last RnR pit stop.. the Northbound i forgot the name is.. Its 45mins drive.. And there we had our morning freaking cold bath, and had our breakfast.. They thought its 1hr still.. But I told them, make it 2hrs.. Because we are early and ahead of our Schedule.. They are shock.. ahahaha.. I was shocked too.. Had my 2nd petrol pump and we buzz of to Changlun.. Still at malaysia but thats were I do my 3rd party insurance for thailand, white card and details of the pax inside my car and details of my car.. We reach Kayu Hitam at 9am.. And its fast.. Then we reach at Sadao border, thats where it my turn to get off from the car to get my export vehicle permit done.. total we spend there almost 2hrs including chop our passport.. Once done, we continue our journey in Thailand.. Welcome to Thailand..

The journey is not as comfortable as malaysia or singapore.. Its really rough.. Dont even think your car will be clean.. Its dirty with sand and muds.. We head on to Narathiwat Via Pattani.. Thats the highway for them though.. And the journey took us 3hrs by right.. BUT !!!! It drag till 4hrs.. BECAUSE !!! The waze GPS shows speed limit is 90km/h.. But actually they are driving 40-50km/h.. Skip the journey we reach narathiwat school at 4pm(Local Time).. Thailamd timing is 3pm(1hr behind).. We had my cousin to fetch us infront of the school and guide us inside.. Finally we reach..

We arrive at 4.15pm to our Late Uncle family house.. She cooked for us actually.. She knows I love tom yum and she cook it spicy for me.. hahahaha.. But sadly didnt get to.. Because, upon arriving, we greet and see them hug and cry, and me unloading all the stuff from my boot, and we chit chat, laugh, and on ome point, I lie down and poooofffff.... I was fast asleep.. My mum told me I was soundly asleep from 5pm(Local) till next day 10am(local).. ahahahaha..

Alright Diary..Will continue tomorrow as I need my sleep because Im working.. Good nighty..

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untoldfayrietales · 6 years ago

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re·sil·ient \ri-ˈzil-yənt\

Why is it always underrated to seek and take advice from the people who failed the board exam?

They should be heard too. We should be heard too. I should be heard too.

Yes. You've read it right. I failed the recent interior design board exam, yet I am not ashamed to admit it. All of the examinees almost felt the same and experienced the same, so what made it different from those who passed? Anyway, It is also good to hear us (or me) out. Because not everybody would understand how to be joyful and resilient in (all) circumstances.

Resilency is what I have learned starting from the time I didn't get to enter my dream school for my highschool, times when I have to repeat my Kumon worksheets, persevered in my Thesis, and looked for another job after the rejection of not being hired. There are series of experiences that would mold me to have the ability to bounce back no matter how sad I became or how tragic it feels. The comfort and assurance that you will have because you are in the Lord and that you believe that His plans will prevail. Dont get me wrong, I cried a bucketful of tears, questioned my abilities and whole being. I felt so disappointed at myself. I also came to a point where I see myself as someone who always fails. Who disappoints everyone in the world, who doesnt have any purpose at all. I cried. I get sad from time to time. I get anxieties every night and it hunts me. It freaking hunts me and eventually eats me and my hope. But here’s a good reminder that pushes me to strive harder for tomorrow, the fact that seeds are buried down the soil--- dark and under, for it to grow and bloom. It also has its own time and pace because not all seeds are the same. As well as a reminder of “if I am NOT Happy on how I did today, I can always strive and improve tomorrow.” Better said than done right? but if you come to realize these things, it will hit you deep down in your heart and mind. If you come to surrender everything and trust in the process and what the Lord has planned you, then you can find peace. Peace within. Advice to those who failed? What can I say about the exam even if I didnt make it? What will I do after knowing the (unfortunate) results?

Well, here’s my cent or two: advice? NEVER STOP. Try again, NOW. Yes, no matter how tragic it feels, what you have to do is to accept and try again, as long as the PRC Allows you to retake, then go. What else and how else will you get the license? There are no shortcuts and easy way, dear. Everything worth it, everything beautiful and sweet are to work hard for. what can I say? It may be a very subjective thought and opinion. You might find me boastful and not reliable if I were to say that the exam was easy. But, my dear, it was. I didnt pass because I didn't finish the drawing part and Part of me was really sick at that moment. I was feeling nervous and stressed. I was not able to think clearly and I have to admit I really didnt do well. I am veryyyy slow in doing the drawings, as well as I had a hard time “defending” my work. it was my weakest point, so from that day, I know I wouldn't make it, but hey, I tried. I passed everything, all of the subjects, except for the drawing part -- and yes, it pulled my grade that results to failure. And boy, it was hard for me to rejoice with my passing batchmates and friends but do know I am very very grateful and happy for them. I still feel some regrets with my personal performance but what can I do? IMPROVE, PRACTICE and TRY AGAIN. and if you are afraid to take the exams because of the possibility of failing? girl, chin up and take that exam, let go of what scares you because your mistakes and failures won't define you. and If you failed and scared to try again, then, take your time to heal but dont make it longer, try and try again. don't let one failure or even two failures or three failures or even more failures stop you. What will I do after seeing the results? Accept. heal. move on. Easier said than done right? Dont get me wrong again because I may be quiet about it but it still hunts me at night randomly. It still projected to me by my interviewers as if passing an exam is an easy task. Interviewers even insult, degrade or question me for not passing but you know what? Brush it off. You dont need that negativity in your life (haha!) Just so you know, reverse psychology isn't effective to me, as well as I am a very sensitive person (personal friends would know this) so what happens and is happening currently for me is very degrading (if that's the right word). I would probably say Im laughing the sadness away but even so, I manage to learn not to take everything personally, and not to not care at all but the art of not giving a f*ck as they would say. I managed to brush off things at the moment so that it wouldnt eat me. It wouldnt take SOOOOO much of my time. As I’ve said earlier, Resiliency. The ability to “bounce back” after being hurt and thrown so deep. The Lord has been extending his love and mercy through good good friends and family I have around. The Lord has been teaching me to be humble and patient in everything I do, as well as reminds me to do everything for Him, and to Him. I tell you, you’ll never go wrong with trusting the Lord. It is more powerful than trusting yourself. To you who were able to read this until here, thank you for your time. Thank you for visiting (inaalikabok na ‘tong “blog” na to pero salamat napadpad ka pa). https://untoldfayrietales.tumblr.com/ask ^talk to me virtually HAHA I have nothing to do at the moment. Any thoughts, improvements (Im sorry If I have typos or wrong grammar sentences, sobrang raw lang talaga nitong post na ‘to), or anything you wanna know? Also, Im open for “Review Tips” if you have questions regarding it. Some things I just realized after taking the boards itself and some encouragements I guess hehe.

#buhay InD #buhay #fayrsonal #2019

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itsworn · 6 years ago

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Stephanie Strack’s 2017 S550 Mustang GT

It’s hard to know when any of us are influencing a child or adolescent, but rest assured that it happens with regular frequency. Young people are always watching and learning, which is just one of the reasons to always put your best foot forward. We doubt that Stephanie Strack’s older cousin even realized the influence she was having on 10 year old Stephanie when she began driving a bright yellow SN95 era Mustang around Y2K, but influencing she certainly was. Stephanie explains that it was this car that hooked her on Mustang mania; she even knew it at the time. Some day… she thought.

By driving age, Stephanie’s desire for a Mustang of her own was burning strong, but a car certainly wasn’t going to be handed to her. “When I was 17, I got a job at a local fast food restaurant, and took the bus there every day after school for work.” She even recounts working the drive-through window and noticing a guy in a modified SN95. “Right there I told him I wanted a car like his some day, and remarkably, we’ve become good friends in the years since. Jereme Sawyer is an Afghanistan war veteran, and is still an inspiration to me.” After saving her pennies, Stephanie’s first Mustang would come a short time later when she bought an 2001 V6 with a 5-speed in 2007. While it wasn’t her ultimate dream car, it was certainly a good start. Stephanie was becoming immersed by now, rowing her own gears, installing a Flowmaster exhaust, and getting to know other members of the Mustang community at a weekly Friday night car show near her home in Puyallup, Washington.

Stephanie took another step up in 2010 when she bought an 2002 GT, but her life went on hold a couple years later when she joined the Army; eventually working as a military police officer. Once in the groove as an MP, Stephanie again returned to her Mustang interests and traded the GT in on her first real dream ride, a 2007 Roush Stage II. It was a genuine creampuff with just 3,200 miles, and Stephanie wasted little time making it her own. She turned to Brad’s Custom Auto in Seattle for a litany of modifications, to include cams and long tube headers, and for awhile it was Mustang bliss. “I loved that car,” says Stephanie, “but to be honest, I ended up having a lot of unfortunate experiences in it.” The troubles were two-fold, with annoying gremlins that may have come from mostly sitting for 7 years, such as the leaky heater core and intermittent dash light failures. The real kicker for the car that Stephanie later nicknamed “chaos,” was a series of accidents caused by distracted drivers. After several repairs, the Roush was no longer the creampuff that Stephanie desired, which brings us to the car spread across the pages here.

Fresh out of the Army in late 2016, and with a good job in hand, Stephanie decided it was time for a fresh start. She traded her Roush in on a brand new 2017 GT, and now had a clean slate to work with. Stephanie has always worked hard for what she has, and knows the value of a buck. The new car was an admitted stretch for the then 27 year old, and so she carefully prioritized what she was willing to pay for. “I decided against the upscale trim packages, because frankly I think the base interior is pretty nice. Instead I spent my money on things that really mattered.” Read between the lines, and that means Stephanie eschewed the frills in favor of high performance. Of course the main players are the GT’s Coyote V8, a six-speed manual trans, and the Performance Pack which comes with 6-piston Brembo front brakes, 3.73 gears, and a host of other suspension and cooling upgrades. Stephanie’s color choice was Magnetic Metal, thought the current deviation is clearly visible – more on that in a moment.

Fresh from delivery, Stephanie wasted little time putting her own stamp on her new car. First up was a set of Steeda lowering springs, and not far behind was a Steeda rear wing and MMD grills. Stephanie explains that she chose the wing in part, in homage to her first Mustang, a New Edge with a factory rear spoiler. “The Steeda piece reminds me of the original wing on my 2001, although the Steeda one looks much better, and on a S550, I think really sets it apart.” Clearly, Stephanie was charting a course that would make her Mustang uniquely hers, though the real showstopper was still to come.

When Stephanie purchased her new GT, she truly loved the dark metallic factory hue, and still does, but she soon realized she wanted something that would really separate her Mustang from the crowd. To that end, she decided on a full vinyl wrap supplied by Fellers, the actual vinyl being an Avery Colorflow satin product in a color known as Rushing Riptide Cyan Purple. The chameleon like nature of the wrap ranges from deep blue to purple, and while it’s not going to be what everyone wants on their own ride, it’s unquestionably stunning. It’s frankly what drew us to the car when Stephanie had it on display at the Mustangs Northwest Bellevue Roundup, but we were drawn further in by Stephanie’s story and her passion for Mustangs.

Just as Stephanie did with her 2007 Roush, she enjoys occasional track forays in her 2017 on the road course at Portland International Raceway. The site of numerous professional race series events over the years, Portland is a great place to exercise the performance offered in today’s high powered ponies. And yet the factory 435 horsepower and 400 lb-ft of torque offered by the Coyote 5.0 wasn’t enough for Stephanie. She recently upped the ante with Ford Performance’s M-6066-M8627 supercharger kit for the S550, featuring a 2.3-liter TVS blower that makes up to 9-pounds of boost. This gave Stephanie’s S550 a healthy bump in power to 670 horsepower and 545 lb-ft of torque.

With engine output that is undoubtedly dragstrip worthy, we asked Stephanie if she’d ever run the quarter-mile. “I’m planning to this coming year,” she said with a grin, adding that she has a one-piece driveshaft and a couple other upgrades to do before she gives it a shot. Rather than just an optimistic comment, we’re confident Stephanie will make that 2019 date at the drags because she’s got a can-do attitude, and a track record of accomplishing what she sets out to do. And if we had to guess, we’ll bet her trip to the dragtrip will be the first of many!

You can’t blame Stephanie for not wrapping her carbon fiber hood from Anderson Composites. The functional and lightweight bonnet was installed when the car was still showing its Magnetic Metal paint, but it’s a whole lot more evident with the contrasting vinyl wrap.

The healthy factory 5.0 is all the more so what with a Ford and Roush developed TVS supercharger kit. Not only is the setup 50 state legal, Stephanie says she preserved her warranty by having the 675 horsepower kit installed by her local Ford dealer.

Gloss black 20-inch wheels complement the other visual upgrades on Stephanie’s GT. These particular shoes from Wheel Replicas measure 8.5-inches wide in front, 10-inches out back, and are shod in 255/35ZR20 and 275/35ZR20 Ohtsu rubber.

The base interior of Stephanie’s GT is luxurious by standards of the past, yet almost pedestrian today. Rather than spend on leather or other luxury items, Stephanie’s hard earned dollars went to the Performance Package. A good choice!

Steeda’s Functional Race Wing vaguely reminded Stephanie of the factory wing on her first Mustang, so it got the nod as one of her first upgrades.

The post Stephanie Strack’s 2017 S550 Mustang GT appeared first on Hot Rod Network.

from Hot Rod Network https://www.hotrod.com/articles/stephanie-stracks-2017-s550-mustang-gt/ via IFTTT

#IFTTT #Hot Rod Network

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the-invisible-overlooked-one · 8 years ago

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My (seemingly) "UNbeliveable" Life-Story:

(a "SOLO-carreer" )

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My life had been totally DEVOID of "female youth" from the very beginning: I have had NO sister, NO girl-friend, NO fiancée, NO wife, NO daughter EVER ! :((( All my Life up to now I had been trying IN VAIN to get to know & to get in close proximity & finally into a relationship with a YOUNG Lady or Girl. :´-(

I was NOT allowed to be the Brother of a Sister, the Boy-Friend of a Girl-Friend, the Fiance of a Fiancee, the Husband of a Wife, nor the Father of an own Daughter.

Thanks to the fear, mistrust and shyness of you Ladies I have nothing but been alone all my life. :-(

And instead of explaining to me, what disturbes you talking to me & looking at me (and what I could possibly change), you just say: “I don´t believe, you never had a girl-friend. I think you´re joking!” :-O Or you just ask ME: "What has been the reason for the failure ?", allthough I hoped to learn THAT from YOU. :-(

I have several UNmet needs & lacks of needs concerning the YOUNG Femininity to yet satisfy:

For brotherly/sisterly Love, for Love in Life-Partnership & Relationship & for fatherly/daughterly Love.

In meinem einsamen Leben hat das "Junge, Weibliche" immerzu nur gefehlt, schon von Anfang an: Ich hatte keine Schwester, keine Freundin, keine Frau, keine Tochter !!! :(((

Ich durfte kein Bruder einer Schwester sein, kein Freund einer Freundin, kein Verlobter einer Verlobten & kein Vater einer Tochter.

Dank dem Mißtrauen & der Scheu und Angst von Euch Damen war ich mein ganzes Leben lang nur allein. :-(

Und statt mir zu erklären, was Euch so sehr an mir stört (und ich ggf. daran ändern könnte), sagt Ihr mir nur: “Das glaube ich Dir nicht, daß Du noch NIE ne Freundin hattest. Ich vermute, Du veralberst mich!” :-O

Oder ihr fragt mich: "WORAN scheiterte es denn immer ?", obwohl ICH doch diese Frage endlich von EUCH geklärt zu bekommen hoffte. :-(

Daher habe ich MEHRERE UNerfüllte Bedürfnisse & Bedürfnis-Mängel gegenüber JUNGER Weiblichkeit auszugleichen:

Nach geschwisterlich-schwesterlicher Liebe, nach lebenspartnerschaftlicher Liebe & Beziehungserfahrung & nach väterlich-töchterlicher Liebe.

Dans ma vie solitaire, il n´y a eu de la Jeunesse féminine ou de la jeune Fémininité jamais ! Je n´ai eu une sœur, une amie, une coupine, une fiancée, une femme, une épouse ou une propre fille de moi-même jamais !!! :(((

Grâce à la peur et défiance de vous femmes je n´ai été que seul toute ma vie. :-(

Et au lieu de m´expliquer ce que vous gênes de parler avec moi et regarder moi (, et me dire ce que je peux changer peut-être), vous me disez: >>Je ne croix pas, que tu n´ais eu d´amie jamais ! Je pense, que tu raconte des bobards !<<

Ou vous demandez moi: >>C´était à cause de QUOI ?<< , bien que MOI, je veux apprendre ca de VOUS ! :O

Je n'ai pas été autorisé à être le frère d'une soeur, le garçon-ami d'une amie-fille, le fiancé d'une fiancée, le mari d'une femme, ni le père d'une propre fille.

What can I do ????? …. :-S

Que puis-je faire ????? ..... :-s

WAS kann ich tun ????? .... :-s

Ich hatte leider noch NIEMALS eine Freundin oder Frau. :-( Wer mag mir helfen, das zu ändern ? :-)

I never ever had a girl-friend or wife in my whole life. :-( Who wants to help me to change that ? :-)

Je n´ai eu d´amie ou femme jamais ! :-( Qui veut m´aider à changer ça ? :-)

Please send Post to the following adress (I am NOT here in the Internet truely ;-) !):

GERHARD MARTIN , the lonliest Man in the Universe

D-7900 Freiburg

Germany

(Elternanschrift / Adress at Parents / Adresse chez les Parents: D-87527 Sonthofen, Germany)

PLEASE WRITE ME LETTER-POST INSTEAD OF E-MAILS. I AM NOT really HERE in the internet ; I AM OUTSIDE IN THE REAL WORLD: :-D

Bitte schreibt mir Brief-Post, Leute ! Ich bin schließlich nicht "hier" im Indernetz, sondern DRAUSSEN in der Wirklichkeit. :-D

Écrivez-moi des lettres, pas d´e-mail, s´il vous plaît ! Je ne suis pas "ici" à l` internet; je suis dedans la réalitée. :-D

Raitim Leta long mi , plis. Mi no stap long "hia", long internet. Mi stap arasait, long laip tru . :-D

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(1.): CLAIM OF RESPONSIBILITY:

INexperiencedness, aloofness, shyness and "(in)voluntary" Celibacy

I am thoroughly fed up & through with ….

I am a lonely “Upper-Allgäuer”-Ian in exile” trying to escape from winter and loneliness. At the risk that no one believes me, but I am now already 37 years young and had unfortunately still NOT A SINGLE girl-friend or wife ever before. (That it is because of my physical appearance, I do not really believe, but for some unknown reason, pretty young women are always just passing by, just like I’m not there. Or are they just as UNcertain as I am ? :-S ). For 21 years I had imagined a completely one-sided relationship with a (former) classmate as being “my girl-fried”, and now I’m glad I finally woke up and finally would like so much to catch up. I want to learn & experience what it means to give true emotional and physical love and finally get it in return. I would like to let YOU help me in this. 0:-) Important to me is particularly unsparing honesty and openness, so addiction to romance, to relationship and to misunderstood physical love (Sex-rubbish) may get NO breeding ground, as well as “abstinence-from-love”-addictions.

https://www.publishersweekly.com/978-0-06-254860-3

https://www.harpercollins.com/9780062276032/escape-from-intimacy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otynMEeMStg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOYAPOk5rpY

To me it is all about the showing of vulnerability (need-based awareness, understanding & communication). I am afraid when I think back to the experienced lonely years. :O Many problems I’ve caused just myself (especially my own aloofness), but unfortunately, I am anything but an “expert on women” (although I would like to be, and always wanted to be); maybe that´s because I only grew up with two brothers. (I now also accept more and more the question of how much the women are “experts on women” THEMSELVES or not, or to what extent they may be “experts on men” …and how much I am an “expert on men” myself ???)

What I openly want to admit with this, is:

The behavior of women is simply a book of 7,777,777 seals for me, but I’ve learned that one usually THEN is sending out unintelligible signals or double-messages when he / she is NOT really aware of what he / she even wants to express and to achieve. I myself will therefore say more consciously: I have great fear of rejection and discouragement by women, which I like, because I’ve NEVER experienced anything different before. :O I feel loneliness, sadness and helplessness for 37 years now, because if I get no response(s) of YOUNG women & Girls (except contempt and withdrawal) at all, then I do not know how I can fulfill my need for female solidarity and closeness. I am intimidated by discouragement and allegations very quickly, because I have truely a lot of respect for women, but maybe I do not dare to express that enough ? :-S What hurts me most of all, is when I read, that even veritable dream-girls write to me, that they do not really believe me that I’d never had a girl-friend or wife by my side, ever. :O :( But the tragic irony is that NONE of them really offers any interest towards me or even WANTS to have me around. At least I conclude this from their more than restrained reactions. Perhaps it´s because they assume & imply that I would be a Macho-man, who had LOTS & LOADS of girl-friends yet. That makes me infinitely sad. :( Women say about themselves, they want to be “CONQUERED” ; … I´m afraid I am a pacifist, not a conqueror. :O)

If this text touches your soul, then you’ve already helped me to some extent, as far as you tell me SO, too. :) Please dare to break the silence that is almost audible in the room. Since August 2011 I have now even embraced the first pretty young women (… which of course have all had someone as a boy-friend, as they revealed to me ).

But there´s a LOT more possible I´m sure ! :) And I want to have one or two own children! =D (Especially a daughter, something young & female for once in my life)

I wait, (-but not for the sake of waiting-) on your request or offer ! :D

Hopefully see you soon ! Dare, please !!! :) (I still did not get TOO close to any woman yet ! ;-)

I have the love-experience of a 12 - or 13-year old Teenager. :O I know of no kiss, no fondling, no long-term cuddling, caressing …not even an amorous look in each other´s eye. :(

I sure cannot do EVERYTHING ALL ALONE, right ??! ;-)

GERHARD

https://www.studiblog.net/2014/06/04/why-women-dont-like-nice-guys/

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(2.): REMNANTS FROM THE PAST & SELF-FULFILLED DIAGNOSISES:

Thanks to the fear, anxiety and mistrust of you ladies I had been alone all my life. :-(

And instead you´d tell me what bothers you so much about me (and what I could possibly change) you only tell me: “I do not believe, that you have NEVER had a girl-friend ! I guess you´re joking ! ” :-O Or, YOU ask ME: “WHAT was the CAUSE for the constant failure ?” even though I hoped to get this issue finally resolved by YOU. :-(

And everything began THIS way:

CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL of KEMPTEN (Upper-Allgäu, Bavaria) 1975:

Parents just used to hand over their children to Strangers & leave them to the hospital, and doctors just used to send parents back home. It was common practice in "children´s hospitals" at that time. Beds for the relatives of the children weren´t even THERE.

Twice (at age 8 months & age 1 year and 1 month) I had emotional experiences of complete neglection of my needs for DAYS, accompanied by most careful “medi-cynical” care:

- “Lumbar puncture” ( removal/extraction of "liquor" from the interior of the spinal cord )

- “when bumping it, Child shows no compensatory movements, child simply drops to”

- “Tendons-Reflexes can not be assessed, because of intense crying”

- "Arms always held far to the side, when sitting and lying"

"permanent holding the arms spread aside NOT noticed (by the Parents)"

- X-rays, blood serum levels, EEG, ECG, antibiotics, …

- Etc. …

+ BUT: no love, no peaceful proximity, closeness, nest-warmth, basic-trust or being accepted :-(

Moreover, my “other-directed” mother stopped to breastfeed me after 4 weeks , on the advice of the violent “child experts”. This would be indeed "obsolete" & “from the Past”, they said …. “empirically superior”. : O

She has expressed the suggestion towards me that I was probably strapped or "fixed" for the sake of extracting liquid from my spinal cord. :-S :-O :-(

My mother said that she had noticed I had changed a lot after she had brought me back home from the Children’s Hospital. I had become a cry-baby, if only she wanted to touch me or just turn on the back.

I have an image in mind:

Could some hopelessly overworked nurse no longer bear my screaming for my parents , and started to choke, shake and jolt me out of helplessness and UNawareness for needs ? :O

UNTILL TODAY I feel strange sensations of narrowness, tightness and crampedness in my throat, and a racing pulse in my throat. Sometimes even spinning-sensations and dizziness !

I can only imagine that I have experienced my life depending completely to the weal and woe of a young woman, which had not responded empathically to my desperate cries, but with almost lethal VIOLENCE instead. That would explain WHY I confronted pretty young women all my life, as though I would beg them to let me live. Women write to me, I seem to be “cramped” to them, so they feel overwhelmed, overburdened & overtaxed.

For the following empathic words of a nice lady (after a “seemingly fruitless” Rendez-vous) I am really very grateful:

“You know, maybe you’re searching too desperate. I believe you, that you want to know love for once. But the more you try something desperately, the less it works.

It can also scare off , if a woman reads that you haven´t had any experience, that you have never had a girl-friend, but you really want it desperately. Thus, the woman is under pressure.

You are very open and honest, but maybe you should not divulge & reveal so much from you IN THE FIRST PLACE ?!

For a proper acquaintance one needs time, patience; and perhaps you expect too much at once? You are certainly very desperate when it comes to love. But you also really leave that impression, one can notice so. “

YES ! This creates mutual fears of expectations, I’m sure. And love sure cannot be “forced”.

I am now trying to learn to trust and use the trust into the knowledge, that GENERALLY any woman can love ME at any time !

Then I am hopeful that I send out less signals of aloofness…and can get back more signals of proximity. It ALL depends on reciprocity. 0:-)

March, 4. / 5. of 2012: NEVER AGAIN “UNtouched”:

My first night of love:

I have now, after 37 1/2 years of complete loneliness, made love with a young woman for the very first time. How joyful & loving ! ^_^ ...but also exhausting, overwhelming & overtaxing !!! :-o -_- PHEW !!!

Previously, before THIS date, NOT even ONE GIRL had shown “mercy” to me.

A stigma was taken away from me. :-) … But a real relationship is, unfortunately, still written in the stars … (sigh).

SHE had said, that SHE had made HER "first experiences" with the other Gender at age 12 or 13 ! :-o ...and I did now at the age of 37 1/2 years. Two completely different worlds seem to have "collided" there... but honestly: Maybe it had been a FIRST REAL experience of true closeness & making love for the BOTH of us ?! ;-) 0:-D

And … to react to a hasty, tacit assumption :

No, I’m definitely NOT interested in other MEN ! :-(P I am disgusted by so called “gay” men, who (-I´m sure-) are just irritated about their real love-needs, and I have even once had a harmful, personally disappointing experience with a 50-year-old "gay" man, which I’m still embittered about today. :(( They can ignore me as much as they want, the ladies, but: NO woman had ever been acting SO disrespectingly towards ME, like THIS guy! I feel fear and disgust towards men who do not want to BE one. :O Please confirm to me credibly, that you REALIZE, RECOGNIZE & ACCEPT my needs as a MAN towards young, inviting, fertile, fresh FEMININITY ! O.K. ?

(Here in the Internet, I have, however, also occasionally received sex-addicted offers from women, too. BUT: Not a hundredth as many as YOU might think !!! :-P And Gerhard can already distinguish between real physical love and sex ! You don´t need to worry! To “get rid of women” NEVER had been a problem to me, by the way. :-) But to make contact with young, attractive women, on the other hand, really had been an aggravation, all the more. :-O :-( It scares me when I hear that women RATHER assume, that I was a gay “Homo-Lullu”, than that they would be willing to offer me a chance to get to know them. : (

YOUNG women make it as hard for me as probably possible, I’m afraid. :-(

Since 1995, young ladies DO NOT TALK TO ME ANYMORE out there in reality. :O (And they even were at a loss for words towards me, BEFORE this.) They behave & act digital-media-addicted and autistic. They talk only with their ears and hear the voices of people who are not there. :-O But I am no longer heard by them. :(

Also, I am aware of irritating evidence of contradictory, UNconscious ways of thinking & feeling, if I get messages here in the Internet:

JUDGEMENTS ONLY SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THESE PEOPLE, WHO ARE JUDGING:

For young women, I “am”:

-Too honest and too dishonest

-Too open & too sealed

-too directly & too restraint

-Too alternatively & too conservative

-Too homophobic & too gay-suspicious

-Too attractive & too unattractive

-Too eloquently & too quiet

-Too serious & too cheerful and silly

-Too shy & too briskly

-Too impetuous & too LITTLE Macho

-Too long & too short

-Too picky & too less picky

- Too JUDGED & too few judged

I’m afraid, I do not know, how I ever could even begin to correspond to this convoluted and contradictory claims . :-S

Women probably do NOT know at all what they really want. Can that be true ?:-S

AND …: Women always wish me “Good Luck & Much Success !” …and pass me over to the next, next on,… Lady :-(

I can not stand to hear this anymore ! I´m fed up ! :( Sigh

DARE to approach at least for ONCE !!! What’s wrong with you, Ladies ? :-O

And with the words “I like the way you write!” women make “unmistakably” clear that THIS was the last message from them that I´ll get to read.

And yet another inexplicable Phenomena:

Whenever I actually had a good start with talking to young ladies out in the real world (especially with serene, small, natural, blonde “bundles of joy” :-D), then these ladies soon …had departed to Cologne. :O

For whatever reason just always to THIS place. :-S I wonder now, what they would do, if I moved to Cologne myself. :-S Hmmm ???

I was often told, it wasn´t because of my physical appearance, if women turn away from me so much. But gradually I have SERIOUS doubts about this theory. My appearance seems to deter enormous. : O-BUH! I sure AM the safest “contraceptive” that exists.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wyct_8OL1Zg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSyOb8nKR20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9N1i9NPGrVA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCkGwz-mrYc

https://www.studiblog.net/2014/06/04/why-women-dont-like-nice-guys/

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(3.): LOVE AT LAST LOOK ? & merely “FLEEING ACQUAINTANCES” :-S

A request:

I feel sad, lonely, desperate, helpless, frustrated, disappointed and totally confused, …even more I ‘m scared if I’m aware of the efforts with which I try, to get female attention of young ladies… but get NOTHING but rejections. :-O :-(

I need feedback, confirmation and encouragement when I turn to young women (who I would like possibly), that it’s O.K. for you when I try to meet you closer.

Otherwise, I do not know how I EVER can satisfy my need for female proximity and closeness … or even just once can meet nice girls for companionship. :-(

Please tell me just ONCE in my lonely life that you like to have my presence and offer to me the chance to make a closer “sniffing” possible …. and how you do feel when you’re reading THIS … O.K. ?

Instead of always assuming hastily, that I´d EVER HAD a girl-friend already. :-O

EUREKA ! I think I got it! :)

Maybe I have found the essential explanation NOW why my efforts towards women, which I liked, had NEVER been rewarded by the hoped-for success:

Ironically, I, who do NOT fulfill or meet one of the popular men’s clichés *, have had (-a lifetime long-) only trust to the “love at first sight”-recipe ??? tz-tz-tz-tz-tz !?

What did I expect to get (except skepticism, confusion, helplessness and uncertainty), if I offer to all young immature ladies, EVERYTHING but what they are USED to receive from men … what they know … and consequently expect ? :-S

Sure, that too fast, hasty & commentless retreat & withdrawal from me (-which I know just too well of young ladies-) , maybe had been a (misread) sign to me, to believe that only in the very first few seconds / minutes of a new meeting a success would be possible. :-S But if I encounter women with EXACTLY THAT attitude & belief , they will be able to feel my impatience, tenseness and anticipatory anxiety. And feelings always come in mirror image: The women then feel that way, too. The danger is unfortunately large that they do not understand to express those emotions … and rather flee instead. :-O

And they HAVE withdrawn from me, a lonely 37-year-old life long. : (

Therefore, I find it so enormously difficult to imagine that even AFTER getting a rejection of a lady who I like, maybe there´s still basically the possibility of a “reconciliation, understanding and forgiveness”. :-S I just had NEVER experienced something different than pretty young ladies turning away from me … without a single word …or even complaining at me. : ( And then LEAVING me, just to be NEVER seen again ! :-X

I’ ve consciously decided to learn patience, confidence and trust in long-term success (with sufficient lead time to “sniff” at each other). Expectations have influence on the result. In longer term, there are plenty of options to re-encounter, as long as one (1.) believes in this… and (2.) tries it in a relaxed manner. :-)

And THEN there will also be a chance of getting to know each other nearer ; at least it´s not completely excluded ;-) ? Right ? ^_^

… Perhaps even love at LATER view?

Then there still remain the KNOWN, other difficulties:

- My shyness and uncertainty caused by the enormous experiences of rejection & failure in young women

- My inexperience with everything "young feminine", because I grew up WITHOUT sister, no girl-friend or wife … and consequently had no daughter, either.

- The wordless fear of women, THAT I was a ruthless macho-man … AND their equally big fear that I was NOT a macho-man.

- The digital media-addicted autism of young ladies today. They do not even notice me when I speak DIRECTLY to them. : (

(I do not even hear: “Heeey, You’re disturbing my wireless reception/connection !” from them.)

- My most fervent desire for DIRECT communication (WITHOUT media-dependency)

- My honesty, openness and questioning mindful view of life

- The painful tragedy that most women (and men) confuse the physical love, the “making love” with sex … and sex with a natural need … and I have quit to do this ,ever since I awoke from my abstinence-addiction.

- OTHER very common misunderstandings about “what love is all about”…like addiction to romance ….or addiction to relationship (either to as MANY ones as possible….or to “the ONLY One” :-O )

- The “-Self-fulfilling-Prohecy”, if I write publicly, no woman would want me

- The lack of economic appreciation for my work.

- my humble life-claims in OTHER affairs, too

* (Macho-Man, womanizer, mama’s boy, swot, intellectual, full failure, “dynamic maker”, etc …)

And: EUREKA! No. 2:

I had another insight:

Since the moment of my procreation I miss a “life-affirming impulse”, a life-and-loving impulse, a “divine spark” …. All my past life, I never had felt “wanted” … just “tolerated” best. : (

But this deficit I can only fill up with the beloved, lacked Things myself. And exactly THIS also explains my error, and my deterrent effect on women:

I have encontered the women who interested me, always in a such a manner that they could perceive my begging. I tried to PERSUADE the ladies to love MYSELF INSTEAD of ME loving myself. : O But actually NO woman in the world is ABLE to do this, and because of this unspoken fear , to be overburdened & overtaxed with such a task, they always drew back from me intuitively. : (

I now can fully understand this. ONLY I myself can learn to accept MYSELF FOR MYSELF…. to be THEN capable of love for someone else. :)

So, I try to accept me now as the “wanted/willed-by-myself.” :) Only if I can cope alone with me -WITHOUT a woman-, then I am ready for a love-relationship WITH a woman. :)

Anyhow, 1 Question still remains absolutely UNanswered:

If the YOUNG women really claim so much, that being CASUAL, RELAXED, OPEN MINDED, OPEN-ENDED, UNselfconscious , UNbiased & NOT binding would be so essential for dating, then I ask myself, WHY the heck these young Ladies & Girls always treated me with such ARTIFICIAL (negative) IMPORTANCE all my Life long, as to EXclude & ignore me so extremely, that one almost could SMELL the Tension !?!? Why do you GIVE such a big , "women-created" Significance to me , by treating me so exceptional & by creating an absolutely artificial Weighting of my Person & my Actions, if you´re really supposedly so much into Easiness, Relaxation, Looseness, Indifference, Non-Commitment & Open-Endedness ???

That´s a fundamental CONTRADICTION for me !!! WHAT do you actually WANT ???

Please CHOOSE & DECIDE finally !!! OK ?

And secondly:

Why is it, that your cold Ignorance, your silent Arrogance, your scary Silence & your emotional Coldness towards Me is so darn EASY for you ?

HOW do you manage so effortlessly to create & hold all this Tension so EASILY , WITHOUT being exposed to any kind of Consequence as a "Mirror-Image", or without receiving any Form of Resonance at all ???

How is is even POSSIBLE, that all your Crampedness & Tenseness towards me stays so FREE of any DISadvantages for YOU ???

Honestly: You´re CREEPY to me ! :-O

https://www.studiblog.net/2014/06/04/why-women-dont-like-nice-guys/

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(4.): WASTED MANLY FRESHNESS:

I am afraid of withering, before I have flourished ever !

"O.K.", you young Ladies & Girls of Middle-Europe:

Now you have ALMOST managed to DO it: If you just let some MORE YEARS of my manly Youth & Freshness go by UNused ... let them slip through my Fingers in vain, ...waste them & ignore them to Death... then I will become finally THAT much withered, that from then on, you can claim a new & very useful Excuse for excluding me & ostracizing me further on: And that IS, that I finally... FINALLY will have become "TOO OLD" for You !!! :-( After apparently having been "TOO YOUNG" for you finicky & picky Ladies all my Life BEFORE !?!? :-/ SIGH :-(

CONGRATULATIONS !!! For such a senseless, nonsensical, UNsatisfactory & self-fulfilling Accomplishment !

Already NOW I have a presentiment of HOW enormously BIG the Sadness & the Fear will be, which I´ll feel, as soon as I in fact will have grown SO OLD, that young & still-fertile Femininity up to Age 40, will turn their back on me , for reasons of "faded, vanished manly Vitality & Freshness" ...after they have let my Attractiveness & Energy slip away in vain & UNused !

How shall I ever MOURN enough for this UNbelieveable, INcredible,...because so UNnecessary & so AVOIDABLE Misery of a completely "overlooked" & bypassed Life of a Man ?!?!

How shall I ever overcome that "Primary Shock" , which I was exposed to very early in Life ( in 1975 , by a young overworked Nurse, who almost STRANGLED me to Death) & ever overcome this (seemingly) INsurmountable deep Ravine, between ME & female Youth/young Femininity, when from now on there´s also the Difference in Age between ME & unused, fresh & fertile Femininity ???

What Perspective & Chance will be left to me, to ever catch UP on all that, which the Girls & Ladies already always had REJECTED to me & have DEPRIVED me of, when I still was young & fresh myself ???

I am afraid, that FEMALE Youth will become only MORE aloof, repellent, unapproachable to me, & thus even MORE scary to me , that way.

And: As this always is a mutual thing..., but the Girls & Women never ever become AWARE (enough) of their own Fears, Insecurity & Confusion, they therefore rather keep their Distance towards me, by judging me & labelling me as being "strange" , "weird" or "suspiciously crazy". :-/

This way, young women & Girls not only distract (themselves) from their own Fears, Insecurity & Confusion, NO, they also add some "artificial Significance" to ME (-without noticing so, of course-), which I definitely do NOT necessarily "need" to have, nor do I WANT to have it !

From the very beginning, I miss also a "consequential Resonance" & a "resonant Consequence" in all the Actions, Activity & Behaviour of female Youth ! WHERE on Earth had ever been the Correlation & the mutual Mirror-Images of the Behaviour, the Feelings & the Needs of young Femininity, compared to MINE ???

WHERE had been any Evidence of THEIR Longings & Wishing & Wanting (towards ME) ???

Why did the Girls & young women always make it AS EASY AS POSSIBLE for me all my Life, to "avoid" THEM (the other way round) in my former Addiction-to-Abstinence ???

Why had this been so darn EASY ...without experiencing ANY Resonance , either for THEM or for ME ???

I do NOT understand that at all !!! This is a Division by Zero !!! Here, the natural Laws known to me, face an arbitrary Exception of NO rational Definition or Explanation !!!

:-/

Soon, I´ll maybe end up like THIS Man here, who stayed young... because he stayed Single !:

among "HE searches HER":

GIRLS, WHAT DO YOU WANT ???

A nice Guy, with Humour, good-natured & a loyal Soul. Someone who will listen to You, understand You ...and who´s ready for any .. well, almost any Deed ! And also is handsome. Then finally open Your Eyes !!

My best Friend is such a Guy, but unfortunately, he´s too shy to talk to You Ladies. With Age 42, he´s probaly just in the right Age for You... so please write to him via E-Mail-Adress....

I am afraid of withering, before I have ever flourished !

From mw OWN personal Life-Experience, I could not even TELL nor KNOW, that Women actually DO have interest in the male Gender at all, ... if there hadn´t been the OLD, withered, worn-off, MARRIED Women , with (almost) grown-up Children !!!

As much as YOUNG Women & Girls have only avoided, ignored, shunned, spurned & "overlooked" me arrogantly all my Youth & my young Adulthood long, the OLD Ladies have been all the more obtrusive, importunate & troublesome towards ME , ever since I was a little Child !!!

From the Days of my Childhood, I was surrounded by nothing but "Aunties" , "Mommies" & "Grannies" !! :-( UGH !

All this almost crossed the line to "Child-Abuse" ! An older Man once used the Word "Prostitution", referring to this Situation.

If only 1 single young Women or Girl only ONCE had pressed so hard on me, adored me , swarmed (a)round me, only 1/thousandth as much, as those Armies of OLD Ladies always have done incessantly since my Childhood, .... if I therefore only ONCE had experienced a Fraction of this exuberant, foaming-over Interest & swollen, bloated Attention of the OLD, barren Femininity, ... by the YOUNG, FRESH, FERTILE & UNused Femininity for a Change, ... then I would be MARRIED now for many Years already ...and I would be the Father of 10 Children !

But instead of that, I have to now fight & fend off the unrelenting Storm & Attack of the encroaching, possessive, seizuring , occupying, possession-taking, "militantly-nice", troublesome, obtrusive, importunate, pushy, withered, used-up, worn-off, expired, faded, weather-worn, married, widowed, UNattractive, sterile, barren ... but horrible, awful, FORMER Femininity, for the Rest of my Life !!!

"Gery" is NOT the Abreviation of "Geriatrics", OK ??!!!!!

Definition of the Term "Menopause":

= The Age, from which on the Women all of a sudden "PAUSE" their hitherto existing, previous emotional Indifference & their Arrogance towards me ... for the Rest of their Lives.

I am afraid of withering, before I ever have flourished yet !

Why do only YOUNG Women & Girls NOT like "Nice-Guys" ? Whereas the OLD Women are even ADDICTED to those ?

The old Geezer-Ladies can even HATE me to the Core....but they never ever callously IGNORE me, like the Girls do ! :-( SIGH

--------

But it´s ME, actually, who is in an acute Hurry: My Time is running out, my "biological Clock" is ticking ! How shall I be able to get in Contact with YOUNG, FERTIL Femininity right in Time, ...when I have grown OLD myself, and have become worn-off & exhausted ???

And, what´s worst: I also won´t ever be able to be the Grandpa of my own Grand-Daughter, that way ! :-O

And when I´ll finally once have become an old Geezer of 99 Years myself:

NO OLD Lady will ever step TOO CLOSE up to me again !!!

Either I can finally manage to CATCH UP on my UNmet Needs for Contact with FEMALE YOUTH ...& HEAL UP this open Wound... or I´ll just stay Single untill the very last Day of my Life !!!

I am afraid of withering, before I ever got to flourish yet, in the first place !!!

https://www.studiblog.net/2014/06/04/why-women-dont-like-nice-guys/

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https://www.facebook.com/gerhard.martin

https://plus.google.com/+GerhardMartin-74

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBVRJNfbwczTPTR0V_lThCw

https://www.youtube.com/GerhardMartin-74

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https://www.metal-archives.com/artists/Gerhard_Martin/679837

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https://about.me/gerhard-martin

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https://listography.com/gerhard_martin

https://www.linkedin.com/in/gerhard-martin-600385150/

https://www.xing.com/profile/Gerhard_Martin14

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History and Purpose of Wahnmache/ MahnWache: ————————————————————————

Founded around 1991 by Gerhard Martin (Guitar & Keyboard & Drums) & Daniel Robert Oelbauer (Drums & Violin) as „TOLLHAUS“ (T.od O.hne L.angfristig L.ebenswerte H.offnung A.ll U.nseres S.eins ), while studying in the Gymnasium Sonthofen. Our first and only public Concert (Winter 1994) took place WITHOUT us, since we were NOT informed about it right in time. As NOBODY could be found for playing the bass, the „Band“ never grew to bigger extent than 3 men (additional Guitar-Player Andreas Reck joined in late 1993). And 1994 had been the year of the tacit disbandment, too. The project just diverged without comment. Some „easy & silly listening“-Folk-Rock-Band took the name TOLLHAUS for their Band…and I named my solo-project „WahnMache / MahnWache“ as an equivocation to the German word for a „political or admonishing vigil“ and the „making of madness“. It now is a solo-project, but it does not necessarily NEED to stay one, right ? ;-) Please help to develop these recordings into full wholesome songs with any instrument that would help to complement the expression of it. Strongly demanded would be Drums and Bass …but any other instrument is wellcome, too, as far as it can be useful to transport the emotional message of this music MORE, or in a new and interesting way. Please, let me know, WHAT your interpretation and supplement of my music will sound like. OK ?

Gerhard „Gerre“ Martin

Listen to my own Music-Compositions, please: d*-*b

It´s really expressive instru-metal Music , containing many influences, from "BACH to KRACH".

https://www.myspace.com/gerhard-martin

https://www.myspace.com/gerhard.martin

https://www.myspace.com/wahnmache-mahnwache

https://www.myspace.com/mahnwache-wahnmache

https://www.myspace.com/wahnmache.mahnwache

https://www.myspace.com/mahnwache.wahnmache

https://www.myspace.com/wahnmachemahnwache

https://www.myspace.com/mahnwachewahnmache

https://www.myspace.com/frank-dube.wahnmache

https://soundcloud.com/frankdubes-musics/sets/mahnwache-wahnmache

http://www.soundcloud.com/wahnmache-mahnwache/albums

http://www.soundcloud.com/mahnwache-wahnmache/albums

http://www.soundcloud.com/wahnmachemahnwache/albums

http://www.soundcloud.com/mahnwachewahnmache/albums

http://www.soundcloud.com/wahnmache/albums

http://www.soundcloud.com/mahnwache/albums

http://www.soundcloud.com/gerhard-martin/albums

https://soundcloud.com/gerhardmartin/albums

http://www.reverbnation.com/wahnmachemahnwache

https://www.reverbnation.com/musician/gerremartin

https://www.orfium.com/profile/wahnmache-mahnwache/

https://www.orfium.com/profile/mahnwache-wahnmache/

https://www.orfium.com/profile/wahnmache.mahnwache/

https://www.orfium.com/profile/mahnwache.wahnmache/

https://www.orfium.com/profile/wahnmachemahnwache/

https://www.orfium.com/profile/mahnwachewahnmache/

https://www.twine.fm/WahnmacheMahnwache

https://www.twine.fm/MahnwacheWahnmache

https://www.twine.fm/WahnMache

https://www.twine.fm/MahnWache

https://www.hypedsound.com/wahnmache-mahnwache

https://www.hypedsound.com/mahnwache-wahnmache

https://www.hypedsound.com/wahnmachemahnwache

https://www.hypedsound.com/mahnwachewahnmache

https://www.indabamusic.com/people/wahnmache_mahnwache

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https://www.indabamusic.com/people/mahnwache

https://www.indabamusic.com/people/gerhard_martin

http://wahnmachemahnwache.bandcamp.com/

https://elcheaporecordz.bandcamp.com/album/mahnwache-wahnmache

https://www.hype.co/wahnmache-mahnwache

https://www.hype.co/mahnwache-wahnmache

https://www.hype.co/wahnmachemahnwache

https://www.hype.co/mahnwachewahnmache

https://plus.google.com/104633444816610301516

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzpFdHXSBrYNBtpRm6vNYVg

https://www.facebook.com/wahnmache.mahnwache

https://play.spotify.com/user/wahnmache-mahnwache

https://wahnmache-mahnwache.jimdo.com/

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https://wahnmache-mahnwache.tumblr.com/

https://wahnmachemahnwache.tumblr.com/

https://mahnwache-wahnmache.tumblr.com

https://mahnwachewahnmache.tumblr.com

http://www.last.fm/de/user/WahnMache

http://www.last.fm/de/user/Gerhard-Martin

http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/WahnMache_-_MahnWache/3540416849

http://www.metal-archives.com/artists/Gerhard_Martin/679837

http://static.metal-archives.com/~metalarc/board/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=116026&start=80

This one is very awesome, since the band is called "WahnMache / MahnWache"

<< >>

Wow ! Love this one. Their music isn't too bad, either.

http://www.bandnamen.de/w.htm

13 Wahnmache/Mahnwache-Music-Videos:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqwPjRzTey7XU4mYpLRSyVcUTakF-iGFe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ryb_x4to0OE&list=PLqwPjRzTey7XU4mYpLRSyVcUTakF-iGFe&index=1

Download ALL Wahnmache/Mahnwache-Songs (mp3) HERE !!!:

SÄMTLICHE Wahnmache/Mahnwache-Stücke (mp3) hier zum Herunterladen !!!:

Télécharger TOUTES les Chansons de Wahnmache-Mahnwache (mp3) ICI !!!:

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/bnz7h83mttvthis/AAA2HdfmtKO9-k5shZuMRU-ga?oref=e

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

My (hopefully OVERlooked) "Music-Parody-Project":

>>Neg.(ativ)-Narz.(ißmus)<<:

https://myspace.com/negativer-narzissmus https://myspace.com/negativer.narzissmus

https://myspace.com/negativ-narzissmus

https://myspace.com/negativ.narzissmus

https://www.reverbnation.com/negativernarzissmus https://soundcloud.com/negativer-narzissmus/albums

https://soundcloud.com/negativernarzissmus/albums

https://www.twine.fm/negativernarzissmus http://www.reverbnation.com/musician/burtcocaine https://www.orfium.com/profile/negativer-narzissmus/ https://www.orfium.com/profile/negativer.narzissmus/

https://www.orfium.com/profile/negativ-narzissmus/

https://www.orfium.com/profile/negativ.narzissmus/

https://www.indabamusic.com/people/negativer_narzissmus

https://www.indabamusic.com/people/negativ_narzissmus https://www.hype.co/negativer-narzissmus https://www.hypedsound.com/negativer-narzissmus

Download the FULL Album "zu allem Überfluß" as a ZIP-file with mp3-Songs:

Das vollständige Album "zu allem Überfluß" als ZIP-Datei mit mp3-Liedern:

Télécharger TOUTES les Chansons (mp3) de l ´Album "zu allem Überfluß" ici:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/894rrtqdpgi4o6n/ZORN%20%E2%80%93%20Zu%20allem%20%C3%9Cberfluss.zip?oref=e

https://www.dropbox.com/s/894rrtqdpgi4o6n/ZORN%20%E2%80%93%20Zu%20allem%20%C3%9Cberfluss.zip?oref=e#sthash.aAJfIaFq.dpuf

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I am a MOVIE-STAR now !!! B-)

And even with "half-NUDE-scenes" !!! 8-o ;-) :-P :"> =D Mmmmmh ! ^__^WHEEEEHHH !!!

From Minute 0:35 on, can be seen ! 8-D WOW !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iU9TUB_KsH8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECdxwD2KcWU

The COMPLETE documentary-film (40 min) for Download:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/hib6jlsj8e7ne44/20140910-2015.m.mp4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xBGxTJKNQc

And finally, I had been engaged in THIS Cinema-Movie B-) as the MAIN supernumerary star:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ke6MaplcKdY

The Scene where I appear was filmed in Oberstdorf, Bavaria at the Schattenberg-Ski-Jump-Ramp ! It´s some mixture of Entertainment & Documentary about the short-sighted British Ski-Jumper Michael "Eddie" Edwards !

Voilà ! ^__^ Enjoy !!!

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My life had been totally DEVOID of “female youth” from the very beginning: I have had NO sister, NO girl-friend, NO fiancée, NO wife, NO daughter EVER ! :((( All my Life, I only have been applying myself totally IN VAIN for experiencing some YOUNG Femininity ! :-O :'(

Thanks to the fear, mistrust and shyness of you Ladies I have nothing but been alone all my life. :-(

And instead of explaining to me, what disturbes you talking to me, looking at me (and what I could possibly change), you just say: “I don´t believe, you never had a girl-friend. I think you´re joking!” :-O Or you just ask ME: “What has been the reason for the failure ?”, allthough I hoped to learn THAT from YOU. :-(

In meinem einsamen Leben hat das “Junge, Weibliche” immerzu nur gefehlt, schon von Anfang an: Ich hatte keine Schwester, keine Freundin, keine Verlobte, keine Frau, keine Tochter !!! :((( Ich habe mich mein GESAMTES Leben lang immer nur VERGEBLICH um etwas "WEIBLICHE JUGEND" bemüht gehabt ! :-O :'(

Dank dem Mißtrauen, der Scheu und Angst von Euch Damen war ich mein ganzes Leben lang nur allein. :-(

Oder ihr fragt mich: “WORAN scheiterte es denn immer ?”, obwohl ICH doch diese Frage endlich von EUCH geklärt zu bekommen hoffte. :-(

Dans ma Vie, la jeune Fémininité n´a que MANQUÉE seulement ! :-O :-X

Je n´ai eu une soeur, une amie, une coupine, une fiancée, une femme, une épuse, ou une propre fille de moi-même jamais !!! :((( J´ai essayé à trouver un peu de la Jeunesse féminie totallement EN VAINE. :-O :'(

Grâce à la peur et défiance de vous femmes je n´ai été que seul toute ma vie. :-(

Et au lieu de m´expliquer ce que vous gênes de parler avec moi et regarder moi (, et me dire ce que je peux changer peut-être), vous me disez: »Je ne croix pas, que tu n´ais eu d´amie jamais ! Je pense, que tu raconte des bobards!« Ou vous demandez MOI : » C´était à cause de QUOI ?«, bien que MOI, JE veux apprendre ça de VOUS.

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0 notes

am-i-untouchable · 8 years ago

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