#im joking stink the place up

[rollersfataft]

hey shitass, watch me speed bridge

get your sweaty aft out of my ask box..

[localgardenweed]

Happy 420 everyone, i hope you all have a epic awesome sauce swagtastic days

[schoenpepper]

It's Okay to Play Favorites (Vice Housewardens)

Intro: You accidentally get sucked into the world of Twisted Wonderland, your favorite game, like, ever. And uh, you may or may not have teleported with a plushie of your favorite character…

Warnings: bad writing, awful grammar, not proofread, self aware au but not god, your card collection is just you being freaky and taking pictures of them, google translated French be warned, ortho’s is platonic and if u take it any other way i ban u, lilia’s is also platonic but if u see romance crumbs i won't stop u, ik ruggie and ortho aren't vice housewardens but get this idgaf

A/N: Bro college got me fucked (second day in i know i'm a fucking whiner i hate it all). Not a request, just some random stuff I wrote during my 3 hour round-trip commute jfc. If my Jade favoritism is acting up, no it ain't.

Masterlist

Trey Clover is a man often overlooked, whether in the fandom or the world of Twisted Wonderland.

So when you get transported in during orientation, you, the player, were holding a plush form of him?

He blanks out.

Sorry Riddle, your vice housewarden kinda crashed maybe you can reboot him or something.

Trey’s never thought of himself as anything special, but he must be if he’s your favorite character, right?

You befriend him with a giddy smile, he can almost see the hearts in your eyes as you fan[redacted] so hard you actually hug him in your excitement.

The player? Hugged? Him?????

“Crazy bro that’s like super nuts so jealous of you.” - Cater Diamond

Hm, he gets a bit bashful when you take so many pictures of him.

Do you really like him that much?

He…likes you too.

“Cringe.” - Cater Diamond

I’m just a normal person, you know? At least, the closest someone can get to normal in this place. You still want me? Are you sure?

…Okay.

If you’re sure.

Unfortunately, to date a dad is to put up with dad jokes.

Do you mind though?

Makes you the most delicious pastries and confectionery known to mankind. You’ll probably get 5 lbs fatter and a sugar addiction.

But your teeth will be beautiful because he teaches you how to brush your teeth properly.

(Ten kinds of toothbrushes…)

Picnic dates.

Tea party dates.

Baking dates.

You might need to go on a diet to stay in shape because Trey doesn’t mind fat. He will probably love you more if you’re chubby.

But he loves you regardless.

Rest of the cast is like, vaguely jealous because why Trey?

But also he has a generally good rapport with other people so it’s cool.

Maybe.

Ruggie Bucchi wasn’t really paying too much attention at the ceremony but you definitely drew his focus.

Is that a plushie hyena beastman?

Does not register that it’s him until someone calls it out.

What? Why? How? When? Where?

He probably has major self esteem issues because, you know, the school’s filled to the brim with rich kids and people with status.

He has neither money nor power. So when he finds out he’s your favorite character? Boom.

He lets out his cute (im not biased) laugh but it’s because he doesn’t know how else to react.

You want to be his friend? Why not?

(Laughs again because he’s exploding on the inside)

You hug him???? Crazy. You owe him a donut for that, bro.

Thinks the picture thing is a bit weird but who is he to argue with the player?

You’re weird, y’know? There’s like princes and moguls and stuff in NRC, why me?

You like me? You find me charming?

That’s not something I’d really use for myself but hey…knock yourself out. Shishishi.

Floof.

You get to scratch his ears and kiss ‘em and watch ‘em twitch while he tries to get away from you.

Insane bro wish I was you.

Cuddly and surprisingly clingy, loves loves loves being pampered.

Are you indoctrinated by my subby Ruggie vibes yet???

His love language is sharing food.

(Have you ever tried passing candy through a kiss? No? Wanna try?)

His grandma will love you <3

The other characters will be giving him major stink eye. The scrappy hyena? Really?

Yes really.

“Whatever, good for you.” - Leona probably.

Jade Leech is amused.

Rather childish, is it not? Well, he’s flattered that you think so highly of him and even have this stuffed toy in his image.

Unfortunately, he does hold enough respect for you as the player to not immediately use your infatuation with him for nefarious purposes.

Not to say he doesn’t tease you though.

You are the flustered one here.

He’s your favorite? Oya, how interesting. He’s never seen himself the way that you do, but who is he to argue with the player?

Please, what do you like so much about him? Do tell.

(His systems crash when you hug him but you’ll never know)

You seem to enjoy taking his pictures. If you let him [redacted] you can take as many as you want.

If you don’t take him up on his offer I will!!!

My, I never expected to be your ‘favorite character’, was it? Well, I don’t mind.

What do I think of you?

Fufu, wouldn’t you like to know?

Loving a sadist means you’re probably a masochist.

You like it when he ‘unintentionally’ makes you do something stupid? Toys with you? Teases you with his annoyingly adorable super cutie pie grin?

Bro you have weird taste I could like, never~

If you didn’t like mushrooms before you do now.

You wish he’d look at you the way he looks at his terrariums.

You know that silly, happy, dopey little look he gets? The lab coat groovy one? Yeah.

Hiking dates if you’re physically able to. If not, he makes like the fanciest dinner dates ever.

He does love you, promise.

The other characters are highkey judging you.

Jamil Viper is inside his hoodie and is very unlikely to ever come out.

You’re kinda embarrassing but what is he supposed to do?

You’re the player. You have a plushie Jamil. Tiny and cute.

Jamil doesn’t see himself as cute. Wouldn’t it be better if you had a different one? Someone sunnier, someone warmer, someone like…Kalim?

Jamil’s your favorite character?

Yeah he’s not leaving his hoodie.

When you’re so happy and excited that you hug him, his soul leaves his body through his lips.

Rip Jamil Viper.

I don’t think Jamil’s very used to the camera, considering he’s technically Kalim’s servant and servants stay in the background.

But since you adore him the way that you do, well, he won’t stop you.

You’re strange. Is this a prank?

No, I don’t mean to doubt you. It’s just that…

No, nevermind. Since you want me, I’ll—love? You love me? Fine, I can work with that too.

His favorite kind of date is one where you two sleep and cuddle together.

He needs a break.

It’s not too often that he can carve time out of babysitting, so any time spent with him you’ll cherish like gold.

You can help him with chores if you manage to persist through multiple rejections.

He’d really prefer not to make the player do chores with him, but when you smile so wide like that, he can’t refuse anymore on the grounds of you not enjoying it.

Kalim can lend you guys the carpet though, you wanna fly?

While the cast doesn’t generally approve of the snake, you’re very loud about your infatuation.

They can’t stop you.

Rook Hunt is a lover of beauty, and you, the player, are the most beauté of all! (full points :D)

Qu'est-ce que c'est? A soft and fluffy copy of himself? How wonderous! Marvelous! The adorable cotton-filled blah blah blah (insert soliloquy here)

While there’s a tiny thought in his mind that perhaps the poison apple or the queen would be more befitting of a nui plush, he still takes your fascination with him in stride.

(It’s not often that he’s in this role.)

To be your favorite, it is an honor!

He shall dedicate a poem to your inner and outer beauty!

Accidentally tosses you to the ground when you try to hug him.

Desolé, instinct. Try again?

He’s not used to being the one in the spotlight, but please, take as many pictures as you need!

Love? Love is the most beautiful indeed. Comme toi, tellement adorable. Lovely.

You’re asking if I have someone I love?

Je suis un lâche de ne pas exprimer mon amour pour toi. 

Either you get what he’s saying or you remember it so you can translate later.

Anyway, have you ever wanted to hunt for sport as a date?

No?

How about getting hunted for sport?

Still no? Shame.

Rook settles for little camping trips in the woods, just you and him and the forest (and his bow and quiver of arrows and his hunting knife and his dagger and—).

He makes very good roasted meat.

You’ll enjoy it as long as you remember not to ask where it’s from.

Uh, ignore how every other cast member is judging you. Love is love, right?

Ortho Shroud is very happy! Very excited! Yay!

You’re a legendary figure, and you’re treating him so nicely! 

Is that a toy made to look like him? You like Ortho? He’s your favorite character?

Yay!

Robo baby is very happy.

Since you like Ortho, do you like Idia too?

Can you be Idia’s friend?

Can you be a new older sibling? Please?

(Say yes or I will [redacted])

Hugs? Hugs!

Forehead kisses?

Yes!

You seem to enjoy taking many pictures of Ortho. Why is this? You like him that much?

If so, maybe you two should take pictures together instead of always taking pictures of him alone. He’d love to take lots of pictures with you!

Can Idia come?

I am your favorite character? Like in a video game? This world is also a video game?

That’s great!

What kind of character am I?

Lilia Vanrouge thinks you’re funny. But also totally correct.

He must be sinful because even you, dear player, find him absolutely adorable!

Hehehe…

Is that a tiny Lilia? Good taste! It’s almost as adorable as the real one.

When you hug him in your excitement, he just laughs and pats your back.

Grandpa vibes.

A picture? Why not?

A selfie, as you kids say. (bro you’re not even detached from modern technology???)

Really likes taking pictures with you.

Since you like him a lot and he’s your favorite character, be a dear and forgo your sleep schedule to game with him.

I’m your favorite, right? Surely that means you’d love to taste my cooking?

No? Why, I’m saddened by your rejection…

There we go. It’s not so bad, is it? I made it with effort, onions, garlic…are you alright? Oh dear.

[dansformations]

"Influencing influencers"

Im Byron, im kinda popular on the media, wouldnt call myself an influencer but at least an small celebrity for certain people: gay guys. Im popular between gay guys.

Then there is this guy, Tod, he do Is an influencer, another gay guy pretty popular, and we have done some colaboration videos, thanks to this i got a bit of highlights recently, getting more followers, but just some days ago Tod posted something off, at least for his usual:

Fart jokes? Superhero referentes? Both together!? Really weird if you ask me to. The situation got weirder when a lot of popular guys from the "gymbro side" of the media started comenting, celebrating his video... And he wrote back, in the weirder way posible:

"@markobroskii: Sick Bro! Superman Is next

@Tody_yourguy: Aded to the list broski!"

Didnt tought too much about It until he post a video that made my jaw drop:

He wasnt just wearing clothes that didnt match his usual but he was in the lingerie zone playing with the undies, saying he was making the zone 'More enjoyable to the View"

That sell the deal. I send his a message and went to his place to check on him.

In the way to his place i saw his @ on media changing to @Tod_thebro.

Wtf!?

When arrived, i notice diferences since he open the door, he stank!

- Jesus! Tod, thats your smell!?

- Yeah, some bro scent, go ahead bro, take a sit - he said With a voice that sounded diferent, he was talking with this "Frat Bro" acent we used to laugh about.

His apartament was now a mess, full of empty - and not so empty - pizza boxes, empty beer cans, dirty clothes, and sticky looking socks... He offer me a beer from a brand i didnt knew, but i'm not really a drinker so maybe thats why. I took it just to be polite, took some sips... Wasnt that bad.

Tried to find the cleanest place and thats where i sat.

- Sup bro, what did you wanna talk about?

- Well... About this... - I said looking around -Whats happening? First that gross fart video - I saw him chuckle when i mentioned that - then that also gross video on the lingerie store and Now... Look at your apartament, what hapened?

- I woke up bro - thats his only answer.

- Huh?

- I realice that gay life wasnt right for me

- What the fuck you- he interupt me

- Going to the gym, no worries about skin care routine - he keep talking - no worries even about showers, not washing my butt every-time-i-have-a-date - he said that words sounding indeed really sick of it- or not washing my butt at all, no using it for please other guys, just using it for this:

After saying that he lifted a leg and rip a long, smelly and loud fart

PRRRRRRFFFFFFFTTTFFFF the fart resonated for all the place, stinking everything, i had to cover my nose inmediatly, which make Tod laugh.

- Tod, theres no way to go straight, u have always been against that believe!

- Used to, but theres way, and you Will UAAARP agree soon

- What do you mean? - i said confused, and a bit of worried

- See, my awaking start when i had the first can of a beer from this weird brand a hot masc guy gave me, that same beer you are drinking now

Oh fuck.

- Oh n-OOUUUURRRRRP

- It's already starting, bro

- Theres no way, uh-PRRRRRRFFTTTFFFF

Tod was smiling with and almost evil smile, chugged a can of beer, belched and said: Cheers bro.

While here, I was burping non-stop, feeling my brain a bit foggy... Why I was worried about?

...

@ morningboy💕:

Oh!, Byron finally posted something, and it looks like a colab with Tod! Maybe he make him come back to his senses, all his 'turning straight' story really afect to the community.

Anyways lets see the video...

Ok, that outfit was a choice, Byron - I tough

Keep watching.

Oh... Oh no, is Byron having a fart contest with Todd!?

This feels wrong... Wait! Why his user just changed to @Byb-ronski...

[yutarot]

deal or no deal (mark lee smau)

13) “what do you think, mark?” (written chapter) 700w

- the night of the battle of the bands -

[8:12PM]

mark knows how important the band is to you, he had watched you audition, crying on his bed when you got in. so it only felt natural that tonight, he was nothing but overjoyed to see you play.

what he doesn’t feel overjoyed about however, is seeing mingi.

“mark i swear to god, get in the damn van.” you hiss, always running late because mark doesn’t know that 8pm means 8pm.

their new van stinks, letters spelling ‘loded diper’, spread across the door with thick, black paint and probably suffocating them all in fumes.

luckily for mark, mingi is driving, meaning he’s able to avoid eye contact with him the entire journey. once he gets out, however, that’s a whole different story.

he looks across the van, all his friends and your bandmates somehow squished between the instruments.

“touch anything and your dead.” jeno warns, he listens because - well - it’s jeno.

the drive is shorter than expected, mark making jokes with chenle about whether the paint was actually made of loaded diapers but you were quick to shut them up with the hit of your drumsticks on their foreheads.

mark can’t lie, you look great tonight, but he can’t exactly tell you that with mingi glaring at him in the rearview mirror.

he saves the thought for later, as he usually does.

not knowing that he’ll never get the chance to tell u.

clambering out of the van, coughing and laughing, you, mingi, yunho and jeno head into the backstage doors, leaving the rest of the group to enter the venue.

mark is more nervous than ever and he can’t for the life of him figure out why.

his conversation with donghyuck halts the second a guitar riff breaks them from their silence, red lights illuminated to project jeno on the stage.

mark, hyuck and chenle are probably the loudest in the room right now, but they don’t care, screaming all sorts of profanity at their best friend, their own version of support.

it isn’t until the rest of the band, until you get illuminated, that mark quietens down, a nudge from hyuck causing him to break from his silence and let a smile tilt his lips.

he’s seen you perform before, many times actually, at your weekly gigs. but never has mark been so proud of you than this moment right now.

the set is incredible, to donghyuck especially by the seems of it. mark has to take his beer at one point to stop it spilling in his hands as hyuck attempts to start a mosh pit in the audience, which, embarrassingly for him, fails miserably.

he’s never seen an audience so alive, so raw, and he can’t wait to hear from you all about how your feeling in this moment.

but a pair of eyes kill his mood.

mingi.

he was looking directly at mark, the entire time.

mark tries to ignore it, brush it off, but when mingi walks towards yunho, stepping in his place to have access to the mic, mark knows he’s fucked.

as yunho stops singing, jeno stops playing, and so do you. confused, unaware.

mingi wraps his hand around the mic, eyes still glaring into marks.

“there’s a little someone in the audience id like to thank.”

fuck.

mark wants to leave, wants to start walking out but he can’t, he’s stuck under mingis attention.

“thanks to him, im still a sore loser, chasing the girl i want like a fucking dog. is that fair?” his hands go up, finally looking around the room.

the crowd jeers, oblivious, but hyuck turns to face mark who’s face is stern, unreadable.

..until mingis next words light a flame of anger in him.

“what do u think, mark?” with that, mingi steps back to his position, the song slowly gaining back to its rhythm. the bands new single hot sauce blaring through the speakers.

mark can’t even look at you, he knows you’ve probably figured it out, you’ll know now that you have to choose between your friendship with him or your relationship with mingi.

and mark is scared that he won’t win.

because it’s not just the bet he’ll lose, but he’ll lose you too.

previous | masterlist | next

(a/n: sorry LOL)

(comment or send ask to be added to taglist)

@therealbobbyshloby @dudekiss3r @lostinneocity @aek1ra @haechansleftshoulder @sunghoonsgfreal @cyjzzl @nanaxwi @neocrashed

[hanjisungslag]

hiiii!! so sorryyy idk if you take requests BUTT could you do headcannons of being in an argument with the aot characters?

🗣️ aot characters & arguments

characters involved: eren, armin, mikasa, connie, jean, sasha, reiner, annie, bertolt, erwin, levi & hange

notes: i do take requests indeed!! :3 i luv angst, i hope this is gd♡

✧ eren jaeger - 

okay, when you guys argue it’s honestly more cute than anything because you’re both so protective of one another. neither of you wanted each other to join the scouts because it was so dangerous but, you both joined anyways obviously. oh my god, you guys non-stop bicker when there’s a mission! and don’t even get me started if you get put into different teams😭 you start TWEAKINGG. after he finds out he’s the attack titan, oh it gets 10x worse. his absolute biggest fear is losing control and hurting you - he’s already so conflicted, confused & felt like an outcast. he definitely lashes out more and becomes snappier than usual but, it does come from a place of sincerity.

when this happens, you just leave it be. as soon as it’s not just bickering anymore, when a voice is raised or an insult is made, you just leave it. you understand he’s going through a lot and just needs a minute but, TRUST ME! when you walk off, you make sure it is known that your feelings are hurt.

“i said no! you are not being on my team! im going with the levi squad, thats final.”

✧ armin arlert -

you both love each other very much but, goddamn you’re both so up your own arses! you are the ‘smart couple’ you are both strategic and witty and have your own way you go about things. so, when it comes to deciding whose plan is better, you always think yours is better and admin thinks his is better. this has (and probably always will be) the main root of your arguments, tbh. nobody likes to get involved either because if someone picks a side then even more havoc will break lose. the only people who’ve ever come between you two is: mikasa, levi & erwin.

it’s just like a debate, you know the ones on jubilee where it’s just people speaking over each other with different facts and sources? literally you two. you both would keep going until the end of time if you didn’t need to sleep, eat and drink water. it’s never that serious at the end of the day, you both love each other and i GUESS you can appreciate each others plans albeit you both think yours is better.

“if you actually listen to me when i say, my layout is better! look at how easy it is to manoeuvre from the castle to the forest!”

✧ mikasa ackerman -

wash the damn scarf. that is all you ask of her. she has literally never washed it and you love but jesus christ, stink LINGERS. not only do you think it’s weird she doesn’t wash it but, it’s also from eren… now, you know mikasa’s lore, of course. however, it’s really hard to get over your girlfriend having this deep love for this smelly scarf that her ex-crush gave to her after he literally saved her from being kidnapped. at first, you try to ignore it but it gets to a point where you sit down and talk to her but, she is not having it. she clearly cares very, very deeply for this scarf and will defend it. it’s really awkward conversation that slowly turns into raised voices and some opinionated things being raised.

“why are you getting jealous over a scarf? that’s so stupid! i just have fond memories with it!”

✧ connie springer -

again, not so much major arguments but just bickers. it usually starts as a joke but slowly but surely divulges into an argument about something stupid. one time, someone ate the last of jean’s meal that his mum made for him and he saved until today, obviously he was super upset and jokingly you blamed connie. at first, all was well, laughs were being heard and he even poked fun at you but, somewhere along the way it became more serious for you two, you genuinely suspected connie of eating jean’s meal and connie was getting visibly more upset.

“that was so not me! why are you telling them that?! i didn’t eat it, y/n!”

jean regretted asking who ate his food.

✧ jean kirstein -

jean is unfortunately a jealous guy. not for any malicious reasons, he’s just a bit insecure gang! he’s more scared that you’ll leave him for someone ‘better’ more than anything but, these feelings of insecurity manifest as jealously. he’d get jealous over you spending time with people like eren, mikasa or armin. in so many aspects, they’re better than him (in his eyes) and this will just make him reallyyy pissy. being in an argument with jean is painstakingly ambiguous like he never straight up says it, it’s always sly remarks or dry responses from him for a while. eventually, you know something is up and question him but he will avoid answering like the plague and it’s just so, so frustrating! eventually, when you break your calm demeanour, he will also break his ‘nonchalant-ness’ and just shout about how he feels.

he crossed his arms, “i just don’t understand why you need to be around him so much, you have me?”

✧ sasha braus -

absolutely nothing. i’m sorry but, she is too sweet and loving. IM SORRY, i’m sorry… i tried so hard to think of something but this queen is too perfect. at most, she would snap at you in high stress situations but she would never turn it into an argument. for example, if you told her to slow down her eating because you’re going on a mission but, she hasn’t eaten much that day she may snap and tell you to “let her do what she wants” but, she’s sooo quick to recover and apologise. literally not even giving you a second to even think about arguing with her!!

“ah, i’m sorry. you’re right, i don’t wanna be sick while flying through the air, huh?” she pouts.

✧ reiner braun -

you’re both from marley, you know damn well what you’re doing here but it seems reiner is straying off path. you’re there to try and remind him why you’re there and this leads to so many arguments. his split personality also plays a role in the arguments because it’s so.. scary and confusing for you because one moment he’s defending eldians than the next, he’s shouting at you about how he ‘knows the plan’.

when talking about stuff like this, since it’s extra sensitive for reiner he definitely flips out. i’m talking shouting, angry grunting, clenching his fists into balls and holding them against his forehead so he doesn’t fully crash tf out. he’s just as confused and scared as you are about his split personality but, he doesn’t want to seem weak or to seem like he’s losing sight of what is ‘right’ - it gets him really worked up. obviously, you stand your ground against him, he doesn’t scare you when you’re arguing. you’ve known him for so long.. you feel like he just needs to be guided.

“when did i ever say i liked them? yes, they’re okay people to be around for now but— no, i never said that! i know what they are, you don’t remind to tell me, y/n!”

✧ annie leonhart -

just the fact she’s cold and distant, it makes it really hard to actually have a relationship with her. at first, she was closed off COMPLETELY but cracks began to show and eventually, you thought you were at a good point with each other but, you kind of realised you didn’t know that much about annie. you try to ask questions to get her to open up but, she is one tough egg to crack so eventually, you just ask! hoping to help her more than anything but, this leads to an argument…

after this first argument, it became pretty regular like once every few weeks this would happen. you get super frustrated because she acts like she doesn’t even care! so, you’re shouting and getting really passionate while she sits there, looking pissed off and bored, rolling her eyes and scoffing. she doesn’t see the need to open up to you, she’s done what she thinks is ‘enough’ in her books.

“what do you want me to say? i’m not an open book, that’s just how i am. we’re all gonna end up dead, anyways.”

✧ bertolt hoover -

sigh… oh bert. every time you feel yourself developing further into your relationship with bert, his friends seem to pull him back. you’re still not quite sure why and they always seem to be giving side eyes or glances when he talks about his life - its starting to piss you off, rightfully so. you feel like he’s got two other side hoes watching yours and his every move! you being this up in subtle ways as to not seem like a crazy, jealous partner but eventually you burst and tell him how you really feel.

arguing with sweet bert isn’t fun because you can tell he tries so hard to please everyone in the situation, whether it’s you, him or now in this case, his friends too. he will raise his voice but, not in a bad way just in a general sense, things are getting heated, his voice will raise and he will fling his arms and hands. he’s a very expressive man when arguing because he is so passionate about it.

“y/n, they’re my friends! they’re just trying to protect me, why are you jealous?”

✧ erwin smith -

there’s so such things as arguments in your relationship, erwin likes to call them ‘mutual disagreements’ as your both in the scouts, he knows your time is limited. it’s a morbid and pessimistic way to think but, you have to be realistic when you live such a deadly lifestyle. he doesn’t want to take your time together for granted - plus, he’s a MAN like, he is calm and collected and will always hear you out.

you both start off calm, having a mature conversation about whatever it is that is bothering you but, when you start getting rowdier that’s when erwin quells the flames quickly. he takes a deep breath, hears you out and calmly walks you through it all. he’s so compassionate about it, i cant omg. he’ll gently place a hand over your own hand or on your shoulder if you’re standing, letting you know he’s present, he’ll sweetly talk you down, eventually calming you down and usually you’ll both say apologises or just general sweet statements and move on!

“i’m sorry, y/n. no, i’m glad you talked to me about this.”

✧ levi ackerman -

oh lord, being in an argument with levi ackerman is nawwtt fun. i’m sorry but, i’d kms if i argued with levi 😭. this man has such an awful resting bitch face as it is but, imagine his face when he’s arguing with you? IF LOOKS COULD KILL. he cant hide his emotions, so when you’re arguing even if he’s trying to be somewhat nice, his face says it all. usually he’ll roll his eyes and scoff if it’s something minor, he’ll hear you out, maybe give a half arsed apology or some sort of nice gesture to make sure you’re not upset however, if it’s a big issue oh brother…

silent treatment, i fear. he is so bad at communicating his feels correctly and often feels confused because this mf ain’t been in love before?! it gets too a point where he’s so mad, he just cant even begin to think of anything to say to you. you’ll be there raising your voice, becoming so passionate and when you ask what he thinks, he’ll say “i have nothing to say.” then boom, silent treatment. however, he’s bad with his words… but good with his actions. he still wants you to know he cares, you two could be in the most rancid moods but, you’ll go to your room and find your clothes ironed and folded🥲.

✧ hange zoë -

oh my sweet hange, my probably neurological challenged sweet hange… an argument with them would definitely stem from them spending more time with titans than you. when sawney and bean were around, you weren’t getting ANY time of day with them, trust. at first, you didn’t want to say anything because of course, you understand! the lifetime you guys are living in, things like hange’s research is soo important but, you can’t help but feel neglected sometimes.

when you finally bring it up, an argument ensues. neither of you really shout or anything, it’s just that kind of weird sort of raised, high pitched voice people get when you’re really frustrated. you both stay relatively calm for the situation you’re in but, you can totally tell you’re both so frustrated because hange just doesn’t see the problem. when you guys argue like this, it usually just goes in circles and after a while you both decide to mutually give up and leave it for another day.

“it’s all for science and the greater good of humanity though, i don’t understand?”

[billgetsmewet]

Fem reader and 2009 orrr 2007 Tom try be quiet on tour bus 😜 you can include any type of smut 🥰🥰

Tysm ily 😘

Secrecy

a/n: this was my oldest ask that i left rotting in the submissions box so im doing it since u guys r starving or somehting idk (i havent been posting bc im lazy and all i do is think ab getting drunk or high every weekend🤔🤔🤔ALSO FINALS)

LETS BEGIN!!!!

warnings: nsfw, p in v, dom!tom, public s€x, petnames

You had a stupid drunk idea and made a bet with Gustav and Tom that you would come to their next tour with them on the tour bus. Worst idea ever! Youve never been so bored for hours on end, theres nothing to do, the bus stinks and youre super hungry.. also horn-

Youve been driving around for the past 4 hours , trying to get to the next place, however its taking long. Its getting hot in the bus, and theres no airconditioner…

You and Tom are sitting next to eachother on one of the bunk beds, Tom is trying to lighten up the mood by joking around but its obviously not working. He gives up, laying down on his back.

Hes wearing striped pyjama pants. Doesnt sound too hot, but is the hottest thing hes ever worn.. atleast to you, since youre ovulating.. obviously.

He groans as he moves around, making you drool with excitement..

He takes one look at you and already notices the situation, he pulls you down with him.

Luckily its as if all the band members are programmed to get the fuck out whenever something dirty happens, they start to go out of the bedroom into the kitchen of the bus.

Tom smirks at you and glances down at your pussy.

Whats wrong baby? he asks sarcastically as if he doesnt know what your problem actually is.

You grind yourself against him for the smallest spark, just to feel something. Please.. i need it so bad, Tom..

Need what? he replies, teasing the actual fuck out of you. But he doesnt get to enjoy that much, since you start palming him, giving him a taste of his own medicine.

Oh come on now.. he groans, trying to keep his cool, but you can already see sweatbeads forming on his forhead. Hes obviously already close.

You knew he doesnt last long. It was a good part about him though, cause with him.. neither did you.

He eventually gives up and tucks his pyjama pants down, his cock springing up.

His precum already leaking from his tip, he slides your shorts down, aswell as your panties and quickly grabs a blanket ontop of you two.

He guides his cock into you, making you moan like crazy.

He was massive, not just lenght wise, but he was wide..

His veiny cock bouncing in and out of you made you feel even more wet, just the thought of this situation could make you cum.

He rubbed your waist, trying to get you more comfortable as he put one hand on your stomach , so he could feel when he hit your walls.

The joy couldnt last long tho, as Georg barged in, making him slip out of you.

Whys there a blanket on you guys? its like 30 degrees out.. boiling hot

———————————————————————

a/n : ALRIGHTTT THATS IT MY HANDS HURT BYE😇🦄🎀

[acidsoju]

OKAY BUT HEAR ME OUT lost prince! soobin who got his lame ass caught and ended up teletransported into another dimension where royalties arent so important like he believes

lost pince! soobin who emerges in your world out of the sewer just like the enchanted movie from dinsey

lost prince! soobin that comes to you, the only person in sight at one in the morning, eating something with your bare hands????

lost prince! soobin who says "peasant, i seem to be quite far from my castle, shall you be granted the honor to escort me back-

college student! reader who simply looks up at the tall, weird stranger in a ridiculous attire and answers "sorry man, i dont have any money' while munching down on your hotdog

broke college student! reader who watches the man's face twist in surprise at your speech

lost prince! soobin who's at lost of words at your unfacing self; you were in front of a prince- the crown prince and you dared be so disrespecful

lost prince! soobin who eyes the hotdot in your hands a little too much

college student! reader who notices that and hesitate a little before offering the rest of your midnight snack at him "here, have this, its really late you should go back home now"

lost prince! soobin who's froze in his place, hand holding a hotdog, watching how you wave at him and walk away

lost prince! soobin who, being kind enoght to forget your previous misbehavior, is moved by your act of generosity

lost prince! soobin who's following you back into your home

college student! reader who crosses her arms over her chest, turning in her heels and snarls at the prince "stop following me, ill report you to the police if you dont"

"police? is that who's in charge here?"

"yup"

"take me to them"

college student! reader who walks the strange man to the police station and is kicked out by the officers who told you they "dont have time for jokes, kids"

"oh im signing for war once im back to my kindom"

lost prince! soobin who looks just so lost, nose and cheeks rose from the cold of the night, eyes glossy and lips pouted while mumbling nonesense

careless college student! reader who sighs and stars walking home, "come on, ill let you crash at my place just for tonight... besides you really should wash up, you stink."

i need to write this fully but i have so much to study:((

[pumpkinsy0]

could you please write moments between tim and papercut

im shaking my head FOR tim actually

•ik he sighed when he found out they were together, its like he had that ‘thats so raven’ moment of everything these two could do together

•he calls them “the fuckers”, half affectionately, half annoyed, cause if he cant see em he assumes the worst

•when they get into trouble at school, curly calls tim for the both of em, mostly to save ponys ass, when tim comes in he doesnt scold pony but he does say something and give pony a look that he better not see him in there again or else he will tell darry

•tim knows curly steals his car to impress pony, and look, he wouldnt mind AS much if it wasnt for the fact that HE always bas to clean it after, and the seats r always messed up

•curly also steals some of tims cologne but if curly being around pony is what gets curly to not stink, who is tim to complain

•tim will absolutely embarrass curly in front of pony and mention some story curly was PRAYING tim forgot about

•tim can b a nice wingman for curly when he wants to be i think, while ponys over tim cooks sometimes and brings it up to curly and pony so they can eat together

•tim and curly joke about tim being the priest guy at the wedding bc tim catching them doing that stupid chicken darr and then banging their heads together was pretty much the same thing

•when curlys on parole tim will PERSONALLY drive curly and pony anywhere they want, hes like a chauffeur for a while, and curly uses tims “chauffeur” name when he does (its literally just tims name but in kreyòl to make it sound fancy😭)

•he saw what pony was drawing/writing on curlys cast when he broke his arm and squinted his eyes at curly LMFAOOOO

•curly sneaks pony in the house sometimes and tim knows about it but actively pretends that he doesnt, just to see how far they think they can go w it, he thinks its a fun lil game to see what places pony can somehow squeeze himself into

[jackalopescruff]

i am. a little sad :c can you tell me a good thing that happened?

Firstly im sending you a big hug if youll have it and I hope you know that tomorrows always a new day new chances and that im rooting for u!

But the other day i stayed up all night bc lifes been tough but we were playing minecraft! just my wife and some pals and it was awesome and after everyone went to bed we wanted to stay up so i cozy gamed with the wife and we had to go to the dispensary because i was out of weed that i use for eating/chron pain and it was getting tough to move w/o so we hopped in my car to go. I got there right at opening and there was a line to get in which was a first! so i got in line and noticed everyone was so friendly i was masked and quiet and everyone just idly chit-chatted and shuffled in to the waiting areas.

Thtats when the most beautiful thing started happening, the music was on some smooth psych groove rock and eveyone just kinda started chatting and soon we all were chatting! I was even getting gendered correct! someone complimented my mask, we laughed and told jokes about getting to high on accident or what not and mind you the age ranges here were like from 20's to 70's and we all were just sharing in laughtrer and joy and funny stories and then one guy announced he had been clean for 4 years that day from opiates and we all congratulated him and cheered and it was so amazing. and as people shuffled in for their meds we all shared good byes and well wishes and the original group that started there soon clustered together as we all laugh a lil more and i finally went in after the one woman sat with me and cracked jokes abt the funny guitar sounds and i told her "put some stink on it!" and she cackled and loved it and it was so pure and human and social. i said my goodbyes got my meds and the one lady was chatting to the man at my register who was cashier and she said goodbye and my cashier told her "hold on let me come give you a hug please you are amazing" and she yelled in elation going "HOWD U KNOW I NEEDED A HUG TODAY I REALLY DID" and my heart soared because all these people all these walks of life all sharing in love and joy and compassion and triumph and hardhsip and none of us knew eachother one bit.

The world is good, its really hard but its made with real good amazing people and we are all so full of love and can come back from anything because thats what makes ppl so great. People are the greatest thing to happen and i mean that

I drove home with my wife laughing and being silly and the sun was shining the sky was blue. it was 32 degrees, it was on the highway and for even only a couple of hours we got reminded of Love in all its places/

[cherryo]

Broken Spells

Requested by: @imjustexistingpleaseleave

thank you for requesting dear <33

Pairing: Rise!donnie x Male! reader

genre: fluff, pure fluff

word count: 773

warnings: fluff, donnie tickles reader, dirty joke from Leo

The two of you found yourselves laying in Donnie's bed on a sunday morning, lazily caressing each other and talking about random stuff. 

You had spent the night before as it had been a movie night, the boys had invited you and April,  after the movie marathon had ended with Leo Portaling a skateboard at the projector. 

April had stayed because Mikey begged her to stay, she obviously couldnt say no to mikey. You had stayed because you fell asleep on donnies lap and he had carried you to his room while he worked on a project. Usually donnie took you to your apartment, not wanting to overstep by making you stay here.

Raph watched as Donnie gently picked you up, asking if Donnie was taking you back to your apartment. Donnie shook his head “he’s staying the night, i doubt he’d care.”

“He seemed to really like the Jupitor Jim movies,,” Donnie whipped his head around, squinting at Raph, trying to understand what he was saying “hes a keeper is all im saying.” 

Donnie groaned, not wanting to hear another one of Raphs ‘love conversations’ it only ended with his love stink lingering in the entire lair. 

“Just use be careful and quiet” Leo had popped back up after being knocked out for ruining the projector, his grin was so big his eyes were crinkling. Donnie didnt acknowledge Leo, choosing to take the chance to walk to his room to lay you down before heading to his lab to tinker.

Eventually, you woke up and waddled to find Donnie, first place to look was his lab, your search stopped there.

Walking up to him and draping yourself over his shoulders, he had taken his battle shell off, allowing you to feel his shell. You had seen him without his battle shell very few times, glad at the very least he was starting to get comfortable enough with you to take his shell off. 

“Hi, sweetheart what’re you up to?” your voice thick with sleep, Donnie gave a simple ‘mm’ in response. “Why dont you come to bed, it’s late” getting another ‘mm’ as a response, you thought that was it. Startling when Donnie made a move to stand up, tipping over in your sleepy state only to be caught by a familiar pair of arms. 

Donnie pulled you up into a hug, all you could feel was warmth and the vibration from Donnie churring. “Lets go to bed” his voice was scratchy, most likely for not talking for a couple hours. He picked you up, making you wrap your legs around his waist, walking to his room.

Once you got to his bed he tucked you in first, he then went to take his bandana off, his gloves, and all his accessories. He slipped into bed, turning on his side to face you, the adoration for you showing in his face. His hand snaked up to you face, stopping to squeeze and caress your hips and shoulder, making it’s final stop to your cheek. His thumb rubbing up and down your cheek, lulling you into a deep slumber.

‘Youre so handsome, im the luckiest guy” he whispered into your forehead after giving you a kiss.

—

You woke up to soft hum, blinking awake you noticed that Donnie had cuddled your head into his chest and was running his fingers through your hair. 

“Hey, handsome, you sleep get?” you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes,”mhm i slept good.”

You looked up at him, seeing he was already looking down at you. It made you blush, his eyes always made you nervous.

You both were sleepy, not wanting to get up but also not want to go back to bed. All of a sudden he started tickling you, your giggles and gasps were the only thing heard throughout Donnies room. When you had enough you pretended to die, gasping dramatically and going limp in his arms, “No! My dearest of Darlings, how doesth one fix this mess up!” shaking his fist dramatically and peaking an eye down at you.

“Only a kiss can break this spell!” you giggled, puckering your lips to make sure he understood.

He let out a hearty laugh, leaning down to give you a soft kiss, showing all his love through this one kiss. He put his forehead on yours, his smile couldnt get any bigger, “thank you.”

“Mmh, what for?” quirking an eyebrow up at him,”for being the best boyfriend a turtle could ask for.” 

You laughed and just pulled him in for another kiss. 

[hyperrealisticblood]

can i say marios madness for the fandom one is that allowed

okay hopefully this one will be shorter and i wont write twenty billion words. funny scary mario mod

favorite character: its a tie between dj hallyboo and mx for me. hallyboo has been my blorbo in law for years now so i already liked him as a character before the mod dropped and people actually started giving a fuck about him. mx is just neat :]

least favorite character: why the fuck is racist mario here. girl go home (second place is chris pratt if he even counts)

5 favorite ships (canon or non-canon): (skipping this one because i cant think of five ships sorry </3)

character i find most attractive: i would let mx do the most heinous shit to me like im not even fucking joking. when i saw powerdown v2 for the first time and i saw how fucking massive i was something fundamental changed inside of my mind. i am moving on before i say something that gets this blog taken down

character i would marry: uh. somari seems the least likely to kill me so i guess him!!!

character i would be best friends with: see above

a random thought: i will never understand why sm64 classified got three songs. like im sure its a fine series but youre telling me we got a second song about luigi in mario 64 and not victim 01. fuck off

an unpopular opinion: i dont think anyone who follows this blog is trapped in funkin discourse purgatory like i am (for the love of god please help me) but when the mod came out there was a lot of debate surrounding the fact that boyfriend expresses things like fear and anger in various songs. for those not in the know (KEEP IT THAT WAY) in canon funkin the reason given that bf and gf are never scared of the enemies is that "theyre too stupid to be afraid". i already dont like that because it makes them boring as fuck so i dont mind mm deviating from that at all. could you imagine mm if bf and gf were just sat there making their fucking free roblox cosmetic ass expressions for two hours. i would have committed higurashi fingernail scene

my canon OTP: grand dad and somari canonically being married is soooo swag

non-canon OTP: i mean its vaguely canon on one side because of pasta night but shinto/coronation peach is :]

most badass character: devil mario stinks so bad of "2000s edgy deviantart oc" and i fuck with it heavy

pairing i am not a fan of: mx/coronation peach :( that is a lesbian and a gay man to me lmao

character i feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): i cant really think of any?? i think the art in day out is scuffed as fuck but i dont think that counts

favorite friendship: i miss mx and lord x being bros so bad....... like i wouldnt mind if it just wasnt canon anymore but the fact that its also banned as a fanon thing really sucks :(

anyways sorry for talking about friday night funkin. i will absolutely do it again

[horrorstreet]

Hiya! Could I have a Matchup please? I'm 5,3 with brown shoulder length hair, I have grey eyes and my blind ass wears glasses. Im a curvy girl which I get insecure about easily. Im an INFJ although Im more of an extrovert. Im quite funny and clumsy at times and my friends have the joke that I'm a grandma lol. I love all things horror and I enjoy true crime. I love to write, read, sing, listen to music, go on long walks and spending time with my dog. I'm the odd one out in my friend group and I'm more of the "nerdy good girl" some people find me scary which is funny as I'm actually rly sweet. I love being alone and doing my own thing but sometimes when I'm having a rough day I need that affection. Im very romantic when I'm with someone I love but I respect boundaries and I know when to be put in my place. I can be a bit of a teasing brat and enjoy getting my s/o all riled up. I adore the 80's and I sometimes dress in 80's clothes too.

Sorry if I wrote too much sometimes I get carried away😖💘

Hope you have a great day!

I match you with...

Jason Voorhees!

Given the title "King of Slashers" by horror fans all around, this man may be scary but he is such a romantic at heart.

It's a good thing that you enjoy activities that don't require any internet cause god knows you wont be getting any reception where he lives. Jason will frequently be out doing his own thing so you will always have time to do your own thing, no worried there. Though, when he gets back from protecting camp ( or doing god knows what), you wont be left alone. This man will be on you like flies to sugar.

Much like you, this man is known to be scary (and he can be) but is really just a big sweetheart underneath all that man meat. He will bring you flowers and romance you up 24/7. Kisses and hugs and cuddles galore but you might have to shoo him away cause this dude STINKS! running through the woods chasing people, falling over, and getting things constantly thrown at him will leave him so dirty.

You will always find yourself in situations where random people will somehow end up at you and Jason's house during a chase. So, get ready to put those true crime skills to use and get your hands dirty because Jay is gonna need some help! Slice and dice. Trap and torture. Whatever you please. He will be grateful either way ;)

[blueiight]

soooo im pretty sure a massive problem is a lot of popular amc shows built up their fanbase via netflix, like amc does not even own the rights to breaking bad or better call saul (they were made and owned by sony) so they are currently licensed to netflix which massively boosted the audience. walking dead is still on netflix too. by putting iwtv ONLY on amc+ there's just no way for people to find it and with so much popular amc stuff already on other services and having no film archive like wb, why would anyone subscribe to amc+ when you can just watch their stuff on netflix?

hbo would've been the most suitable place for this series given the violence and sexual content like maybe that could've happened if the rights stayed at wb but they also have so many other heavy hitters it wouldn't have been a priority.

definitely makes sense of how bb/bcs blew up before streaming.. and ur onto something with how iwtv is limited to amc+ & the audience is limited in part as a result? i will say putting iwtv on hbo would stink imo (tho im 40% joking in that post 60% making a light observation on the trend hbo shows have had w/ making real deal actresses genuinely uncomfortable for the sake of ~content~. is it thrones team and/or hbo idk but ik fasho hbo would go all out and show real excessive violence for all the fans barking abt amc iwtv lol)

[skadream]

Rudy's Book Reviews: You Will Get Through This Night by Daniel Howell

yeah thats right im gonna be a phannie on main for a second. this is the start of my book review series which i hope to actually folow through with lol. this one ive been listening to as an audiobook but i do have the physical copy as well cuz im like that! next review will hopefully be gideon the ninth so tune in for that, but for now, read this review under the cut:

this book is a practical mental health guide, honestly a lot of it is stuff that you can learn in therapy so like if you have a therapist that you like then maybe its not worth it BUT theres like slim pickins for mental health books that arent just anecdotal evidence without actually talking about what people did to help them get better, just "yea i was sad but then i got therapy ✌️" or books that are so couched in psychiatric jargon its hard for a layperson to get into OR just vaguely inspiring bullshit.

its all written with the help of an actual licensed psychologist person, so no bullshit, no just do yoga and drink water shit (although obviously exercise and hydration and physical health are talked about) and yes he mentions medication and LICENSED therapy if those end up being necessary steps to take with your mental health!!! which again, in the world of self help type books, tends to be rare advice which is DEPRESSING IN A DIFFERENT WAY LMAO.

ofc it should go without saying that a book can never be a replacement for therapy but Considering How The World Is, this book is good for like maybe stepping into learning some coping skills as well as figuring out a plan before, during, and after crisis mode. i would say the tone is more serious than humorous but dan puts a lot of his own natural snarky sarcasm stink all over this book which obv that can be a taste thing if youre not into brit sarcasm mode but as a One Of Those i like it lol

in terms of Dan And Phil™️-isms, theres a sprinkling of cute winks and nods and inside jokes that people who drew sharpie cat whiskers on their faces as teens would understand but Normies will not find to be out of place or anything, there's also some storytimes of like his previous tours or living as a dropout youtuber being stress-inducing and things like that but not a ton which i kinda prefer cuz it makes it easier for me to recommend this book to people who dont give a shit about Phandom Memes

theres an introduction which is kind of a short summary of who dan is, basically just summarizing his youtube videos talking about depression and when he came out as queer and all that fun stuff, if youre a psycho hardcore fan person like me you might find it to be a long and unnecessary read, but if youre someone who didnt know about this guy and are curious as to why he would even write a book like this its a pretty good synopsis.

the american cover has dan's stupid face on it, and as someone who is a big fan of dan's stupid beautiful face, i wish we had the EU version with like tasteful yellow stripes on it bc it looks so nice, but i mean i just keep it on my bookshelf with the spine showing which is just a nice yellow spine with the title and looks unassuming so its not THAT big a deal lmaoo.

in terms of the audiobook, dan's voice is quite soothing and there's all these like audio cues and fitting music which i really like. the only downside is, for example, he reads out this timed breathing exercise that is meant to be like a five minute exercise, but it's not actually timed? so like i want to do the breathing exercises along with him reading it out but he reads it so fast its kinda like bro slow down you said breathe in for five seconds why you going ahead two seconds later homie. thats my only criticism i think obv if you are reading it and not listening you can just do the exercises by timing yourself lol.

ummmm idk if im gonna give a number at the end of these reviews!!! i give this book a big thumbs up!! 👍 woohoo yeah baby i am very proud of dan's current life journey thing that he's going on and i think this is a great book for people who need help which is everyone alive today right now :)

[rayvnsaves]

Binh: "Can you NOT smoke here? Youre Stinking up the place"

Chance: "im bothering anyone that seems to be your job"

Binh: "whatever jerk"

Chance: "Hey, now im just joking. You alright?"

Binh: "I would be if our hallway didnt smell like smoke"

Chance: " Fine, I'll spray. Happy?