#im here to post cringe and drink water and i forgot my water in the other room

[tickleme-silly]

fellas is it gay if your rival is the first person to tickle you ever asking for a friend 🙈

[flowersbby]

Star Struck | Corpse Husband x Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Swearing (If I’m missing any let me know please! :) )

a/n: You’re a model/ streamer in this one! :D I’m thinking about if I should turn this into a series or not? Lmk what you think. I hope you like it <3

It was a nice morning. The sun was shining through the tall windows that showed you a view of your balcony onto your bed, there was a slight breeze so it wasn’t too hot, and you could hear the birds chirping with the occasional honking due to LA traffic. The only reason you woke up was because the sun was shining right in your face. You groaned and put a pillow over your face. I really don’t want to get up right now. Just a few more minutes.. You thought and right as you were about to take the pillow off your face and turn over onto your other side so you could go back to sleep, your phone started ringing. “Ugh!” You groaned once again and reached for your phone that was on your nightstand. You looked at the caller ID and saw that it was your manager, Chris. You accepted the call and put the phone to your ear. “What do you want?” You asked in an annoyed and tired tone. You were definitely NOT a morning person. You hated mornings.

“Oh my God,” He said in a rushed tone, “Have you literally JUST woken up? You have a photoshoot in 2 hours! Makeup and wardrobe are waiting for you down here!” Your eyes widened. You completely forgot about it.

“I-I��ll be right there!” You told him and hung up. You sprang out of bed and almost ran to your walk in closet, your eyes scanning for a top that would match the black leather skirt you wanted to wear for the day. You decided on a black mesh body suit with a black crop top under it. All black today. like your soul. You quickly put on some black heels and brushed your hair, cringing at how the brush tugged on your hair when it reached a knot. You didn’t bother doing your makeup since your makeup team would take it off anyway. You fast walked to the door of your apartment, grabbed your purse off the hook, and opened your door to leave to your photoshoot.

                                                      🖤🖤🖤

After a lot of yelling from Chris for holding the makeup and wardrobe team up, you did your photoshoot and got to go home. When you got home, you took a mirror picture of your outfit and uploaded it to Instagram, putting the caption as “Fashionably Late 🖤💋”. You smiled at the influx of likes right as it posted. You were truly lucky to have your supporters, but you wanted one person in particular to see it. 

Corpse’s POV

I was casually playing Among Us with my friends while they streamed when I felt my phone vibrate slightly on my lap. I began to feel anxious to check my phone since I only have notifications on for one person but I didn’t want to take my eyes off the screen since I was following Jack, who I was sus of. Right when him and I entered electrical, he broke my neck. I felt relieved though since I got to finally look at (y/n)’s post.

My eyes widened when I saw the picture of her outfit. She looked good. Very good. I double tapped on it and immediately went to the comment section out of curiosity of what other people were saying. I looked at all the comments saying how pretty she was and smiled, but the comments made by creepy people made my blood boil. I wish I could just reply to them and say “That’s my girl. Stop.” but we both agreed to keep our relationship out of the public eye and I was truly fine with that. I just wish I could protect her from the creeps out there. 

I wasn’t even paying attention to the game until I suddenly saw “Victory” appear on my screen. “Let’s goooo!” I said into the mic. Everyone else was celebrating as well.

“Hey!” Rae exclaimed, “Let’s get (y/n) in here, she just got home.” My heart skipped a beat and I smiled.

“Yes!” I said a little too excited. Everyone else didn’t notice it though and agreed with me. I quickly texted her out of excitement.

Your POV

After receiving an invite from Rae and booting up your computer, as well as getting everything prepared to stream, you got a text from Corpse. You quickly grabbed your phone to respond back to whatever he said.

My Love 😊💖💖

im so excited to hear your voice

i’ve missed you

<3

You blushed at his messages. You thought about what to text back for a minute until you figured out what to say.

You

I have so much to tell you from today

I missed you so much bb

ft later?

You set your phone back on your desk and loaded up Among Us, joining the discord call while you wait. You were greeted by everyone as you joined.

“(Y/n)! Good noon!” Greeted Rae. You smiled as everyone in the call erupted in hello’s.

“Hey, (y/n).” Corpse said after everyone else had their chance to greet you.

Your stomach did backflips from him just saying your name. “Hi~” You said in a sing songy voice and started streaming. “How are all you guys doing?” You asked as your picked up your water from your desk and started drinking.

“Good now that you’re here..” Corpse muttered. You choked on your water and erupted in coughing, taken aback from what he said. Good thing your were muted.

“Corpse?!” Yelled Poki.

“What did you say?!” Also yelled Felix. The rest were just erupting in Aw’s.

“U-uh,” Corpse stuttered, “I meant that because (y/n) is such a good imposter and I’ve been a little off my game today so I’m hoping we get imposter together so I have some content for a video.” Good cover up.. You thought as your coughing got under control. I think he forgot to mute himself. 

“Yeah!” You exclaimed, “We got this my dude!” You took a glance at chat and saw everyone going crazy. Half of them were typing in all caps asking for someone to clip that moment, and half were shipping you and corpse.

“I can only play one game anyway,” Corpse said, “I have stuff to do.” You frowned at what he said. You haven’t gotten to talk with him all day because of how rushed you were this morning and now you won’t have time to talk with him now because of how different your schedules are. Even though you two loved each other a lot you have had your arguments about this with him. You hate that he lives two hours from you or else this wouldn’t be an issue. You would be over at his house everyday if he lived in LA. You hated long distance.

You had a great time playing with your friends, but when Corpse left you got a little gloomy. He wasn’t answering your texts either. You sighed and changed into his hoody he left in your closet when he visited last and put on some grey pajama shorts. You tied your hair into a messy bun so it wouldn’t get in your way for the rest of the night even though you were just going to watch Netflix in your bed and eat chips. After grabbing your snacks, you walked to your bedroom and opened the glass door to the balcony in your room, turned your LED lights to (f/c), got comfortable in your bed, and turned on your favorite show on your TV.

You were scrolling through Instagram as you heard a knock at your door. A scared feeling washed over you and you paused what you were doing. It was like you were frozen in time and if you made one sudden movement everything would come crashing down. They knocked again. You were scared that some crazed fan found your address to your apartment. Cautiously, you walked to your door and looked through the peek hole. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach and a wide grin appeared on your face as you saw who it was. You quickly unlocked your door and opened it. You wasted no time and grabbed Corpse’s face and kissed him with so much passion you didn’t want to stop. He lifted you up and held your thighs in his hands, walking into your apartment and shutting the door with his foot. “I’ve missed you so much baby.” He breathed as he kept kissing you.

You pulled away from the heated session and Corpse carefully placed you on your feet. You hugged him. “I missed you too.” You said and didn’t want to let go. Corpse placed a kiss on your head as he hugged you and rubbed your back. You realized something and pulled away from the hug. “Where’s your stuff?” Noticing he didn’t have a suitcase.

He looked at you with a blank expression. “Fuuuckk....” He groaned. “I forgot it.” 

You looked at him confused. “How do you forget your stuff. It’s a two hour drive here!” You laughed.

He scratched the back of his neck embarrassed. “I really missed you and I was excited to surprise you,” He explained. “I didn’t want to get here late and have you asleep so I didn’t even think about packing.”

You smiled. “Well, at least you have a ton of clothes here you’ve left.” 

He smirked, looking at his hoodie on your body. “Yeah, I see that.”

You smirked back at him, turned around, and began to walk back into your bedroom, wanting him to follow you. Corpse quickly swept you off your feet and put you over his shoulder, plopping you on the bed as he got on top of you. He looked into your eyes. “I’m tired.” He muttered.

“Let’s cuddle then, baby.” You smile. He smiles back at you tiredly as he moves off you to be the big spoon, pulling you against him by wrapping his arm around your waist. You felt happy in that moment. You finally got to be with the only man who loves you for you physically, instead of two hours away. You both fell asleep, taking in this moment.

[barbarasbae]

Even in Hawkins- First of Many

Part 16  master list

Billy Hargrove x Fem! Reader x Steve Harrington

Word Count: 1.5k 

Warnings: smut, family units/children are had, 18+, Billy is a pile of mush for his family 

heres a corny ending to something i’ve been working on for a year and a half. might post one of the better versions of it later but heres an ending for now

You excited?” Y/n teased Billy, sliding hands under his zip up. “I guess.”

“What’s wrong?” He raised an eyebrow, eyes flitting over her body. “I’m in a hoodie and sweatpants and you’re in that.” That being jeans with one of his button up shirts.

“You get to wear whatever you want on dates when you save the world.” She tugged gently on a curl. He huffed, pulling his omega into a hug. His omega had a nice sound to it. “Smell so good.” Y/n trilled, squeezing him gently. The doorbell rang, startling them both. She scrunched his hair on his scalp, him smacking her hands away.  “You’re trying to make me look worse.”

“I don’t think it’s possible for you to even look bad, Bill.” He rolled his eyes. He still wasn’t used to the gnarled scars after having them for almost two months. “Don’t roll your eyes at me mister.” 

“I’ll roll them if I want. They feel like the only part of me that can move right now.” He retorted, Y/n sticking her tongue out at him and opening the front door. “Hey Steve.”

“Hi...I brought you these.” He held out flowers to Y/n with a blush. “Thank you.” 

“And I brought you this.” He gave Billy a box, the blond taking it with shaking hands. “Do you need your medicine?” Y/n asked quietly when she noticed. He shook his head, opening the box to a sand dollar earring. It made him chuckle. “Thanks, pretty boy.” 

Billy shut the door behind Steve, Y/n in the kitchen making popcorn. “Can I kiss you?” Steve asked Billy, stepping into his space. “W-uh, sure.” Billy was red faced, Steve placing his hands on Billy’s wrist and hip, giving him a gentle kiss. Billy followed him as he pulled back, Steve laughing under his breath. “There can be more of that later if you want.” Billy nodded, getting a barked out laugh from the tall omega. “I have a couple different movies.” Y/n announced, bowl of popcorn in her arms. They made their way to the living room, Billy stopping her before they made it to the couch. He cupped her face in his hands, giving her a long wet kiss. It made her smile. “What was that for?” He shook his head, kissing her forehead. “Ooh, let’s watch this one.” Steve held up The Terminator.  

Everything was going well, an omega on each side of Billy. Y/n tucked her nose in Billy’s neck, her hand on his stomach. Steve was holding his free hand. Billy pulled his hand back and slid an arm around Steve’s shoulder, the older boy smiling at the pink faced blond. “Can you take some of the blankets off? It’s getting hot.” He asked Y/n, kissing her temple. “Why are you being so sweet?” She asked quietly, hugging him again, hand sliding a little farther down to his thigh. He shrugged before suddenly stiffening, Steve’s hand on his other thigh. “I forgot how horny The Terminator makes you.” He teased Y/n, her glaring at him. The boys laughed, but fell back into silence fairly quickly. Steve palmed over Billy’s sweatpants-covered dick, the blond blushing. “Is this okay? I can stop. Just tell me if-”

“This is fine.” Billy grit out. “Are you okay? Y/n asked, sitting up. He nodded. Steve did it one more time, smirking. “Gonna cum already, alpha?” Billy let out a soft whimper, bringing a smile to their faces. Y/n sat on her knees and faced Billy, purring in his ear, rubbing a hand up and down his thigh. “I’m- I’m gonna cum if you don’t stop.” Steve got up and pulled the blanket off of Billy, gently pushing the alpha’s thighs open. “Shit, Billy.” Y/n moaned, pre-cum staining his sweatpants where his dick was straining against them. “I wanna ride you.” She cooed, kissing his ear. Steve got between Billy’s legs, nosing at the bulging erection. Billy grunted softly, gripping Y/n’s thigh. “Such a big dick, alpha.” Steve purred,  dragging his tongue over the blond’s cloth covered erection. Billy whined, Y/n making the start of a hickey appear on his neck. Steve sucked the tip into his mouth, Billy jerking his hips and gasping. Both omegas watched cum soak his boxers and sweats, purring. “That feels good, huh?” Y/n asked, rubbing Billy’s shoulder. “Shit.” He croaked, Steve getting up with a pout. “What’s wrong?”

“I wanted to suck him off.” Billy was panting a little harder. “You okay, babe? Steve, can you get him some water?”

“I’m not a baby.” Billy protested, nose to nose with his girlfriend. “I know. Just don’t wanna over do it. Was scary to not have you around.” She told him, nuzzling into him. Steve handed Billy a cup, the omega sitting next to him, both omegas watching him drink. “Stop acting like I’m gonna drown in a cup of water.” 

“Sorry.” 

Billy changed and came back to Y/n and Steve scenting each other, her practically in his lap. “Keep watching?” He asked, grabbing the remote. “Sure.”

They finished the movie, Steve saying he had to work tomorrow. “Don’t usually put out on the first date but it was fun.” He was blushing. Y/n nodded, Billy smiling. He had a good feeling about this. 

---

Billy woke up slowly. It was so nice and warm but his alarm was blaring on the nightstand. “Fuck…” He groaned, arm over his eyes. “Fuck!” A high pitched little voice parroted, giggling. Billy shot up, seeing his 4 year old daughter sitting at the end of the bed. “No,no no we don’t say that, Daisy.”

“Fuck.” She declared, little brows furrowed in determination. “Daisy, it’s not a nice word.” 

“But you said it.” She pouted, Billy getting up and holding her on his hip. “I did. Let’s just not tell mommy, okay?” She nodded, hugging him. “Where’s Steve?” Billy called to Y/n as he entered the kitchen. She was making food for their 7 and 5 year old sons. “He’s getting dressed.” 

Billy set Daisy in her chair and kissed the back of Y/n’s shoulder. “Good morning.”

“Good morning, stinky breath.” She teased, Billy blowing a raspberry on her neck that got her to squeal. Steve came into the kitchen in blue scrubs, Y/n handing him his lunchbox. “Be safe. Love you.” She kissed Steve’s cheek, Billy rubbing his nose against the tall omega’s.  “I’m gonna be late. Love you too. Bye babies.” Y/n smiled as the brunet planted wet kisses on each kid, Daisy giving him one back. Billy hugged Y/n, her leaning into him. “You okay this morning?”

“Yeah. Just enjoying my pack. I love you.”

“I love you too. You’re on bath duty.”

“Nooo!” Came a chorus of protests. Y/n laughed. “Good luck.”

“Who needs luck when you have talent?”

Y/n rolled her eyes. “Sure, big man.”

Billy stuck his tongue out at her and snatched up Axle, the youngest boy. She did it back. “What?” She asked him, the blond looking over her. “Nothing. Just enjoying the view.” 

“Such a dork, Billy.” 

“Isn’t that how I charmed you?”

“No. That was a special feature I had to unlock. Go bathe your filthy child.” She teased, Axle protesting that he wasn’t filthy. Steve came back through the door. “You okay?”

“Roads closed because of snow. Couldn’t get out of the neighborhood.”

“Lucky us.” She kissed his pink nose, helping him take off the layers. “Stop ‘enjoying the view’ and give him a bath.” She told Billy. He put his son down and told him to meet him in the bathroom. “Did I ever tell you what I wanted the first time I saw you guys?” They shook their heads, Y/n hugging Steve. “Wanted you both. Wanted a pack. Can’t believe I pulled it off.” 

“DAD!” Billy cringed and left them, the omegas giggling as their kids followed Billy into the bathroom. “How’d we ever go for that?”

“Hm?” Steve was playing with the hem of her shirt. “Sorry, I was thinking about all the stuff we like to do on my days off.” His hand slid around to her ass, squeezing. 

“Problem, all the kids will have the day off too.” 

“Damn, it’s like we enjoy making them or something” He joked, Y/n smiling up at him. “I think you both lucked out that The Terminator makes me horny.” 

“God that’s so lame!

“It’s true though. I’ve always been mad I didn’t get to see Bill dressed up like him in ‘84” Steve groaned. “I feel like we’d be in a much different situation now,” 

“Probably.” They giggled. 

Billy heard his mates laughing in the kitchen, the kids making a mess of water. Thank god 17 year old Billy was a huge perv. Billy was never gonna get used to how lucky he’s got it. 

                                                   end. 

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[goth-girlfriend]

Good evening😬or morning or whateva :D I'm going to spoil you with a Endeavor request: Endeavor having sex with his affair and she gets pregnant but is too scared to tell him because of his past and when Endeavor finds out on accident he promises to be a good father and it turns out right :) like he plays with the baby all the time and cuddles it, super fluffy 😌

Good!.....night? It’s like 1:34 in the morning.... sooooo Good! morning! (8-24-2020) To you, you lovely person, spoiling me with such a great Endeavor Request 😌

I hope your day goes well as soon as I post this! Stay hydrated! 💦💙

💙💙❤️🖤❤️💙💙❤️🖤❤️💙💙

I couldn’t fight the tears as they started to sting along my water lines, I forced my eyes closed and tried to kick my lips, they tasted like poison and rubbed. I reached out for the countertop in-front of me. Finger shaking, just slightly as I grabbed the plastic in my hand. Three of four, say positive, the fourth didn’t give me an answer. How did this happen?!

“I know how this happen, in a very pleasurable way.....because I was being an idiot four months ago!” I scolded myself after asking my self the questions.

I swallowed and looked at my phone, it was new, Enji, bought it for me when I’d lost my old one off the roof of his car. I shuffled on my seat that were the steps to my tub. I took a deep breath, “I can’t tell him, I’ll have to leave him. I don’t want my child to go through the same things his children did.”

I stood up and started pacing the bathroom, “good plan good plan.” I lied to myself.

“Maybe I should tell him? I won’t be able to do it alone....” I stopped and looked at myself in the mirror, “No! What if.”

I felt the hot streaks running down the curves of my cheeks and jaw, but it didn’t register. I clenched my jaw and forced my eyes shut, I felt queasy, and the puking began. I stood up after kneeling for like ten minutes and rushed over to my legs mirror. I rose my hoodie, and it all made sense why I’d gained weight, if you looked hard enough, you could the bulge slowly not really, but just becoming visible, I looked bloated... maybe that’s why he never realized it.... also since it’s winter I’ve been using sweaters and hoodies much to Enji’s distaste. I laughed to myself before pouting, and placing both my hands on either side of my stomach, “I’m scared....” I swallowed the taste of fear, maybe puke, “I’ve never done this... I can’t call my parents... there not in Japan....” I fidgeted and pulled my shirt down, I heard the door bell and perked up, “Oh! My Noodles are here!”

I rushed to the door wallet in hand and ready to get my dood only to come face with Enji.

“Heeeeyyyyyy,” I poked my head out the door and looked around then poured and looked up at him, “You’re not the delivery guy.”

He gave me a look that clearly stated “Are you SERIOUS?”

“Right! You should come in before my pesky neighbor sees!” I pulled him in and looked around once more, my closest neighbor was actually about a quarter mile away, but that doesn’t matter.

“Soooooo,” I turned around and licked the door, “I didn’t expect you at all.” I smiled and fidgeted with my hands feeling sick.

“I’ve come to discuss this relationship.” His words were straight, I felt a fill run through my blood and bones, if he leaves.... what am I gonna do?

“Oh,” I nodded looked down, my voice was a whisper, “I guess say what you need.”

“I can’t keep having an affair, there are rumors rising already. My image can’t be ruined like this.”

I felt my heart pick up, my breathing felt struggled.

“I see,” I didn’t look up as I made myself take a breath feeling my heartbeat in my throat, “well, if this is it, I guess I should give back the jewelry, and other expensive gifts huh?”

“No, keep them, that’s not what I’m here for.” He shook his head eyes closed.

“Alright, is there anything else you need to say? Before you go?”

“I’m getting a divorce,” the words were like a punch to the stomach, I wasn’t the one being divorced but it definitely hit, I felt it rushing up. I rushed or my bathroom and stuffed the pregnancy tests into my hoodie pocket so Enji wouldn’t see them, I clung to the toilet shoving up the seat puked letting it all out. I was met with a tug at my hair, Enji was holding it back and fumbling with a black scrunches I’d left on my sink. He sighed as he rubbed my back, he kneeled beside me rubbing my back and handing me toilet tissue to wipe my mouth a bit that burned its wya through my nose. I took it and wiped my mouth away, I dry heaved a bit, and felt myself shaking, cold, so cold. Enji kept flushing the toilet until it was all gone, he helped me to sit on the toilet, “You’re sick.”

He sighed and closed his eyes, “Don’t move from here until I get back.”

I nodded and looked down, I let out a sigh and groaned, a divorce? He’s leaving Rei? Officially? I mean, it’s good cause this won’t be so scandalous anymore, but... it’s sudden.

I tried to stand by my thighs were shaky and weak. I paced my hands into hem and felt tears, I closed my eyes and let them fall, a new heat on my cheeks wiped them away, I looked to see Enji there, hands on my face, he could definitely crush my skull, his eyes looked sad, but his face was not showing that.

“I brought you water and some medicine to help with nausea. I don’t know what this is, but let’s get you to bed, you look tired, your cheeks and eyes are red and you look weak.” He didn’t let me answer as he gave me the medicine and stood up making his way to my room outside the bathroom and I could hear him moving the blankets.

Getting it my bed Enji told my to put my hand up, I did, he pulled my hoodie off leaving me in the tank top I wore underneath. Something fell but I don’t pay attention to what, but mostly because Enji was helping me sit, even if I didn’t want to. “You’ve already order food, I’ll wait here with you until gets here.”

He took my hand squeezed and I just nodded, the tears in my eyes, I didn’t even feel them, “So sweet.”

For a minute I forgot I was pregnant, until my phone gave a buzz, I looked ya it on the nightstand. I know the chime, it was for my period tracker, I’d neglected completely four times now. Enji didn’t read my phone simply handing it to me. I thanked him and swiped away the notification, “sleep.” He said and brought his free hand to brush my hair back, I craved his warm hand in this cold moment, “If you leave wake me up.” He nodded, and I sighed and started to shuffle in the blanket.

***

“(Y/n),” I was shook awake, I blinked a few times feeling hot in the blanket I sat and pushed it back, I stood up and just as I was about to answer, back in the bathroom.

“We should take you to a doctor.” I hugged and nodded, “yeeaaahhhh.”

“Do you have one?” He asked and looked at his phone.

“No sir.” I was honest.

I heard him sigh, “Take off that shirt,” I hear him walk away followed by some clattering. I pulled off my shirt and he brought back my hoodie, “Wear this, I’m taking you to a doctor.”

He left again and started to talk on the phone, I pouted and pulled on my hoodie after taking off my shirt, “bully, I didn’t even get my lunch.”

I walked spurns my house in the socks I just pulled on looking for my shoes, “where?” I dropped to my knees looking under the sofa, “are you?” I reached aliens and felt something.

“Shoes?” I asked and pulled out some old low sneakers that I used to wear.... once, when I tried to work out.

“It’ll work.” I shrugged and started to pull them on.

“Ready?” I answered back with “YES DADDY SIR IM READY!” I heard a heavy sigh and smiled pushing myself off the floor as he walked into the room, he held up a bag, my food.

“Get in the car.” He tossed me my keys, “No driving.” I nodded and rushed to my car and got in the passenger side and turned it on. I pulled on my seat belt and sat waiting, I huffed after literally two minutes passed.

I honked then smiled seeing Enji come into the garage, I got happy, I like car rides with Enji...kinda like a dog I guess.... he handed me the plastic bag and placed a lime soda in the cup holder, “Do NOT, open it until were on the road.” I nodded and waited, until we pulled out and took the turn.

I opened my bag and found the stir fry noddles is been craving all day, “Don’t way to much, if you puke again well have to stop and clean the car.” “Okay, got it.”

I started of eat and look out the window and indulge in the noodles. I stopped a quarter way in when I felt a shuffle in my abdomen. My food was hitting on an empty stomach, and it’s showing. I covered the food up and placed it back in the bag and tried to didn’t some soda. I finished the drink by the time we pulled up to a clinc.... a women’s clinic. I cringed at the sight. “Why here?” I asked.

“I thought you’d be more comfortable with a woman for your doctor.

“Okaaaayyyy.” I prepped myself to get out, I watched Enji get out with no hesitation, I still hesitated, until he came and opened my door offering a hand. I took it and was pulled back by my seatbelt. I laughed sheepishly and I clicked it before getting help again. We walked in and surprisingly empty, I guess the parking lot gave that away though. We walked in, Enji made me sit, he went and got the paper work from the secretary, and brought it back and I started to fill it out. I smiled as I gave back to him, and he got up and took it back. He told the nurse something and she nodded with a big smile. He nodded and came back to sit by my side. I felt nervous, and didn’t fight the bouncing of my leg, I shimmied closer to his side and leaned my head on his shoulder. A few minutes passed until they called. They took blood for vitamin checks, and muscle and bone stuff, urine for some tests, something about protein and I didn’t catch the rest. They told me to sit on the bed my doctor would be here soon. Then asked if I’d like Enji in the room or not, I nodded and said yes let him stay, I kNOW WHAT THIS IS.... maybe it won’t be so bad with someone else. A few more minutes and here she came, a short plump woman with bright eyes.

“I’m here, so tell me whats happening.” She said and didn’t even look at me, just read some papers.

“Well, I’ve been queasy, and I’ve been puking most of the day-“ I was wished by a hand on my back, “This will help you.” I watched Enji reach into his pocket and pull out a ziplock I cringed at the sight, the four tests I’d stuffed in my jacket.

The doctor took it and looked at them and laughed, “Well,” she smiled and clipped them to her board, “I’ll tell them to run the urine for a test.”

“Thank you.” Enji answered and she nodded then left.

“.......sooooooo, hows the weather up there?” I said not looking up at him. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He didn’t look at me, just ahead at the wall. I looked around, “I was scared, that maybe, you wouldn’t want it or you know....your past... that you might... you know.....” The sigh he let out was depressing, I tried to look at him. I was hurt, out of every fight I’ve ever seen him in, I felt like maybe, just maybe, this would be the lowest I’d ever see him. “I-“ “No, don’t say your sorry,” his stare still on the floor, “I don’t blame you.... for thinking those things, if you want to leave with this child then you can do so. I just want you to know these few things before you make a choice.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat, it’s weird because I’m not the one who just got emotionally wounded.

“I don’t deserve to be a father again, I know it, I understand the things I’ve done are not right. It can’t easily be forgiven. The things I’ve done can last over a life time, I’m working to fix all these things, I don’t want to hurt the one I love anymore, but I can’t stand the thought of hurting innocent people. I wanted to spend what’s left of my life with you, this is sudden, and you have the decision and freedom to decide what you think is best, but I promise you, this time, I will be the best man I can for you, and for this child. I don’t want to hurt anyone, I want to be the best I can and prove that I know what it’s like to be real father, to show I know what love really is. I won’t force you to make any decisions, and I won’t force my way into its life, I only want to do this, if you do this with me.”

I nodded and swallowed, great now IM crying. I tired to reach for his hand, “Enji.” His hand squeezed mine once I held his, “I’d love to share my life and first child with you,” I sniffled, “I don’t want my first child to not know it’s dad, so please, do everything you can to be there for us.”

***

“ILL,” I grunted and squeezed the hand burning my flesh, “I promise,” I let out a deep breath, “I’ll show you pain when this is over.” I took a few labored breaths, squeezing his hand, I pulled my hand out of his and took of my new wedding ring, “hold this it’s about to hurt us both once this head starts coming out.” I hissed feeling a sharp pain and then I felt it, it felt like a poop you can’t hold it, it dropped lower and “Alright Mrs.Todoroki, it’s crowning, so just give us a nice push-“

I flexed my lower abdomen and stopped when he said, I took breath, and clenched to Enji’s hand making sure to not squeezed my lower muscles in pain to avoid excessive bruising, “1...2...3... and push.”

I pushed again feeling pressure leaving my inside and pouring out of me, “Breathe,” the Doctor said and she looked up at me, “Someone has definitely been doing their workouts, this is going very quick and smooth.” She disappeared behind my legs and said “Last one,” a paused that felt like an hour, “Push-“ crying filled the room, “It’s a boy! Congratulations! Would you like to cut the umbilical cord Mr.Todoroki?” I let go of his hand but he hesitated, I nodded at him with a smile, the blood drained from him when he saw what everything looked like down there, he took the scissors and quickly cut before coming back to my side, “Placenta is coming.” She sis do felt another wave of pressure leaving me stomach, and I heard a wet plop, and a metallic sound. I shivered but quickly recovered when my necked son was placed on my now bear chest, I held him close and cried, he was a bit bloody still but I was so happy. The tears started falling as I hugged his gently and kissed his head of already bright red hair. “Precious, boy.” I said and gen’s got tried to rub some stuff off his face, he quickly attached to my breast and started to suckle,t tears didn’t stop as I looked up at Enji, he was wiping his own eyes.

“Have you thought of any names? Or should we wait a while?” The doctors said replacing her gloves and smock. “Well,” I looked up at Enji, “Things worked out, so? How about it?”

The doctor looked between us and Enji took the pen and notepad a nurse was holding, he wrote down the name and they nodded and took it, “Well then, I’ll leave you two with him a while longer until your pain has subsided and then we’ll take him to be weighed, and a few other things.”

We nodded and she smiled, “Congratulations, to the both of you.” Once more, after he stopped suckling I handed him to Enji and pulled my gown up, Enji seemed so scared, the baby WASNT small, he had rolls already, and they’re beautiful, but in Enji’s hands, he’s so small. “Hello,” he whispered and tried to cradle it ashore his chest on his forearm, it’s head resting against his bicep and pec. He brought his free hand to cover its torso and side, “I’m your father, I won’t ever leave you, I won’t ever hurt you, I never want to lose you, I’ll be with you always.” Call the hormone imbalance and recent loss of my child, but I was crying, I covered my face with my hands wiping the tears away, so cute.

***

“Enji?” I peeked into my room, nothing, “Enji?” Nothing was in the babies room, “Enji-“ there he was ok his back, on the floor, baby held up in the air, in his hands. The baby was laughing and flailing his arms and kicking. It was cute, I’d bought him an endeavor themed baby onesie, and Enji was wearing his hero costume without the armor. I stayed quiet watching as he stood up, and held the baby up to his shoulder, the baby placing a fist and his cheek on his shoulder, his eyes closed as Enji held him close. “I promise, I’ll never leave you.”

***

“where is he?!” I panicked and looked for my son, who just disappeared. I ran around the house and panic rose through the round when I heard gurgling don’t DROWN PELASE DONT DROWN BABY! Bursting into the master room fight or flight on high I felt stupid seeing Enji sleeping on his back arm circled around and pulling into his side the bundle of fire and Todoroki I was panicking for. The baby cooed moving closer to Enji, I sighed, my adrenaline wearing down, it was cute, especially when Enji turned to his side to hug our son to his chest, and mumbled out, “I’ll become someone you’ll be proud of, someone you can count on always.”

🤍🤍💙❤️💙🤍🖤🤍💙❤️💙🤍🤍

Support a small business?

[inkskinned]

literally just a dumb unorganized list of school tips

source: im a grad student. i’ve had a lot of school. also i’m adhd & mentally ill and require +8 organization. this is mostly directed @ college students, but maybe high school students can use it too, fuck, idk, it’s been forever since i was stuck in that hell hole

just say “professor” either ur using the correct title for a person (will make them feel good) or you’re giving them a bigger title on the assumption they deserve it (which will make them feel good) and also prevents having to ever i mean ever use their names

talk at least 1 time a week in each class, aim for 1 time a day. even lecture classes. i fucking hate talking in front of more than 5 people, so what i would do is prepare a question about the hw/etc (even if i didn’t need it answered) to ask the professor after class so they saw me and got used to me and saw i was invested in their class. about 89% of teachers - if they see you try, they will pass you. i mean it’s literally that easy. i know people who went from like a c- but because they legit tried, their grade got bumped up to a b-. 

if u have to bring a laptop, pre-download the required material/screenshot it, and then turn off your wifi. it’s too easy to not listen.

physical writing will always give you more information recall over typing.

nobody cares about stupid shit anymore trust me they don’t remember that you were accidentally locked in a towel out of your room bc they have their own dumb shit that happened.... in college all the “cringe culture” turns into “god i wish that were me” culture ... wear ur onesie to a party trust me you make +800 friends and 799 of them will be girls telling you you’re adorable and they’d die for you

about locking urself out.... if ur like me and can breeze past post-it notes placed in obvious areas, don’t be a dumb bitch and rely on post-it-notes. while most schools offer 1 free lockout, dont rely on it - it once took 2 hours before someone could get to me. i was in a towel, which meant no phone. so like. anyway, what i do now is i put something on the handle of the door i have to open/unlock. i can’t just open the door w/out the thing falling down and making a loud “you dumb bitch unlock the door before u shower” sound. 

this works for all important don’t-forget it things. other obstacles i’ve used to remind myself to do something include: putting a chair with my wholeass posterboard in front of the door, an entire printer with a single piece of paper that just read “for the love of god check to be sure you have that essay”, and a recycling bin i kept forgetting to empty. guess what bitch finally emptied the bin once it was between me and a swift exit!

no offense and like the whole “it’s the best years of your life!” thing is great but in reality everything goes better scholastically when you treat it as “i came here to win, not to make friends.” i still did make friends, went to parties every weekend, was popular enough i’d be invited to several on one night - but i came there to win. when i put my scholastic life and my mental health first, i went from a 2.0 to a 3.98. yes you can, bitch.

you’re spending the money. don’t squander it. trust me when i say i know plenty of people who breeze through, bc you often can. but like. don’t. challenge yourself bc like. talk about an investment.

if you hate your major, change it. don’t make your life something you can’t stand. on that note, do NOT agree 100% to a track until you have at least some experience in the field. i cannot tell u how many ppl i know who got their whole masters/phd program done, walked into their new profession, and were like, Oh Fuck, I Can’t Live Like This.

college literally offers so many free things and if you’re not taking advantage of them whenever possible i get it but like. try to take advantage of them. this is everything from your gym (which probably has free classes dude) to clubs to like. sober events. these sober events are so ... fuckin good dude i’ve made mason jars with little plants in em... bee aviaries... candles.... go to the free stuff

oh ps on free stuff i wanna say about 4 of 5 days there’s free food on campus just look for things like job fairs, presentations, or discussion groups. also while you’re there at the job fair like. u know, go to the job fair in earnest

i took off 2 years to work and also to just. recover from my bullshit. and it took me 6 years and 3 schools to get my bachelor’s. it wasn’t easy but bitch i lived. there’s no such thing as “too long” to graduate if that’s truly what you want to do.

if on the meal plan, eat as clean as you can the first week. then introduce each part of the cafeteria’s possibly-food-poisoning-creating foods one at a time. give @ least 2 days between each experiment so you know for sure if you get sick what caused it. i literally never eat meat at school but you can still get sick off of unwashed lettuce/salad dressing that hasn’t been refrigerated properly/weirdass things you won’t even think of. this prevents like. dying in a public bathroom.

white loaf bread can be gross & boring. discount bakery section for your slightly chewy artisianal bread needs. if overstale, either toast it or dunk it into water and microwave it (unless u got an oven. use the oven if u can)

steal as many apples from the dining hall/events/etc as physically possible just do it they keep FOREVER and @ some point you’ll be like. fUCK i need a nutrition. ps if you’re keeping them in ur backpack (i wouldn’t keep more than 2) make sure to wrap w/a few paper towels so if you drop your bag you don’t get apple mush

write it all down bitch. “i’ll remember it” no you won’t. unless you are capable of remembering every idea on this list and in order, you won’t remember it. in general, if you write something 3 times, you will recall it correctly at least 80% of the time. i also read it out loud to myself, bc, you know, auditory recall

DO NOT just put your assignment at the top of your notes, unless you’re 100% sure that will work for you. in most cases, it’s much better to have a planner/agenda/place you expect to look for assignments. +7 points if you lie to yourself about deadlines and move them all up.

like not to sound too much like a DARE ad but like. if you don’t like it/don’t want it, don’t fuckin do it. the idea that “there’s nothing to do if you don’t party” is such bullshit. like i promise if you’re like “i am a grouch and want to stay in and binge netflix” about 45 ppl will show up in pjs like “bitch fullscreen it, im a grouch too.” there’s also like. the chance to just.... not overindulge. on wednesdays i have “wine wednesdays” where we sit around and drink a glass of wine while we do our hw. it’s chill and friendly instead of like. drink until u vomit. don’t feel like you either gotta slam the breaks or the gas pedal, is what i mean.

PLEASE know the signs of alcohol poisoning/overdose. most schools have a “Safety Always Matters Most” policy, which means that you can call for help w/out getting into trouble. if you think someone is in danger, act. this also goes for making sure ppl get home safe even if they’re just incapacitated, not poisoned. step in, dudes.

also just. notice when ur starting to rely on stuff too much. i’m super easily addicted to things, so i keep a healthy distance from liquor. i don’t let myself “drink to feel better” bc that’s a scary, scary thing to link to feeling better. if you or somebody u know starts drinking all the time/gets anxious if they don’t drink/drinks in the daytime .... get help. schools have counselling services for a reason.

you’re gonna get a cold/flu of some sort in the first 2 months just brace for it. in the meantime, drink vitamin c, try not to touch too many handles, and when people say “there’s something going around” believe them.

watch kaplan nike just do it 

if you can teach it, you know the material. a super good way of knowing if you studied the right way is to try and teach the material to a stuffed animal/imaginary class.

“i don’t know how to study” bitch me too the fuck. this is usually bc we’ve been taught that studying is just sitting down and staring @ ur notes. it’s not. it’s different for everyone, and you need to understand it’s 99% preventative care. if you don’t go to the class or do the homework, studying is going to fucking suck, bc you’re learning the material all at once for the first time. the place you should consider “studying” is “i’m confident in 70-90% of the material, but need to review.” do not let yourself fall behind .... just go to office hours and ask questions if ur not getting something. studying should feel like you’re remembering what you already knew but kinda forgot, not like you’ve been blindsided.

the whole “writing it down in ur own words” while u have been told this 700 times it really helps bc it means u gotta translate it through your own understanding. if you can’t, and it’s not bc the material seems too obvious to you to state in another way - ask yourself if you don’t understand the material. chances are u are missing a bit of info.

i know it’s like A Thing that Some People do but i never had the mental health points for it but i know some people just take 15 minutes after every class to review their notes. since i’m 100% early to every class ever, obnoxiously so, i try to do it before class. having the last class’s notes up in my head super helps. like. put down the phone i know you’re socially anxious me too but review those notes. chances are if u start flipping through pages other ppl will too. this is also fun bc as soon as you start this whole thing, at least one person will be like “is there a test?” no bitch there’s no test but im gonna be ready when there is!

literally so much of success is fucking posturing i could link about 800 peer-edited studies that show that when a student is expected to do well (and knows they are), they do well. like i literally didn’t change my appearance at all, never bothered to look nice (once winter hits i wear 67 layers all the time), but when i showed up after my 2 years off from school, i presented myself with the whole “i came here to win” vibe and people... really respected me? i mean in hs i remember ppl saying shit like “yeah, well, you aren’t gonna have the homework”. by the time i was in college i had an honest-to-god conversation which included someone being like “so tell me what you’re overachieving at right now” like they just expected it from me. wild.

i live by “bite off more than you can chew, and then CHEW IT” but it’s probably unhealthy. the truth is that i have a lot of energy all the time (lmao adhd!!!) and i used to get told i was “trying too hard” and for a long time (still???) i didn’t (i don’t?) know what that was, you know, bc i had a D average, clearly i wasn’t trying. it turns out i was just. putting all my energy into stuff that wasn’t making me happy like toxic friendships etc. when i decided “nope, all this energy is for me and my schoolwork”..... uhhhhh suddenly i was a golden child and everyone praised my try-hardness ... it’s a fuckt up system tbh

take at least 1 class just for fun. i try to do that every semester. it helps break up all the requirements. if you’re like an engineer and got no time or credits left to spend, try to audit your fun course.

make ur advisor love you i don’t care what it takes make them cupcakes show up to thank them i dONT CARE just do it 

the library isn’t always the best place. if i start getting anxious bc i pavlovian train myself that library=work, i find a new place to go to do hw. try to go outside if you can!!! not like where i live bc like it’s snow all the time but try. a little green really really really helps depression. 

if you’ve been in the same “Studying” place for 1 hour and haven’t done anything the chances are Something Isn’t Right. first, look @ ur body. are you not focusing bc of some pressing physical need? sometimes just taking a shower and coming back helps. are you uncomfy? are you too comfy and going to sleep? if body okay, look @ the material. do you not understand it? do you just need to switch to a new topic for a little bit? can you find a youtube video that will help you better understand it? make notes on what you don’t get so you can ask in the next class. if it’s not the material, it’s not ur bod, check the Actual Space. sometimes just getting up, going for a short walk to a new place, and trying it there actually? really works? if none of this is working.... try ur brain next. hardest to reset bc like, what, turn it on and off again? i use things like caffeine, a short workout, a nap, or a podcast all to just... give me a little boost. 

don’t be afraid to leave. i mean this about class, friend groups, and the college ur at. just get up on outta there if ur not feelin it. i cannot recommend “drop the class” enough. even if it’s a required course see if u can switch the times if u hate the professor day 3 it’s not gonna get better just get the fuCK out

don’t nap in the same position u go to sleep in, nap upside down w/ur head away from ur pillow. don’t ask me why but it works to 1. fall asleep faster 2. make sure u sleep okay at night and 3. wake up less annoyed 

on that note don’t ever do anything in ur bed in a sleeping position unless it’s genuinely sleeping in it. body will get confused. just sit up, lazybones.

when/if the library has those therapy dogs during finals week.... just go pet them make the time for it

ask before hugging people, but don’t expect a “yes”

get a backpack that fits and doesn’t hurt ur back u fuckin hippie idc how cool it is to wear ur backpack super low just don’t do it it’s not worth it

the tutoring center is a fucking goldmine.... free essay edits my dudes

bring a fan dorms are always hotter than u expect

switch dorms if u can if u realize ur in the wrong room/wrong roomate like just don’t bother with nonsense

when in doubt, follow preschool rules. tell ppl when they did something cool, just ask when u need help, and be confident even in your mistakes, because at least u tried

[woozi]

henlo yza <3 ,

hdjdkd i don't really have much knowledge abt different techniques & kind of dances so when the steps match the lyrics i'm like '!!! wow yes i love it' fhdjdjskks also bc i've grown up watching these kind of dances only so my that's what i tend to notice first hdjdjddk it is also one of the reason why i decided to stan svt dwc, oh my, thanks & our dawn is hotter than day's choreo details really impressed me.

maybe vincenzo is your svt club & ur so valid for that <3 hddjdjekek also pls don't say sorry!! you can talk abt it as much as you want i like knowing what you think. i'll let you know how was it for me when i complete it. & no homecha hasn't ended yet (idk if there are 16 or 14 eps i haven't checked) it does come on weekends, counting this sunday's ep, we're at 12th rn.

i get that fjdjdkkd i used to be the same 😭 always waiting for dramas to end so i can binge watch because not knowing what happens next would kill me. but idk when this happened, my will to watch anything died down bc the eps are just there, available for me to watch anytime. im like 'i'll watch it next time' but next time never comes 💀. this year i've watched no-air ones only hdjssj very surprising for me ( also my wack memory & svt content supports me by forgetting abt it after weekend ends dhdjdkkd) anyway i'm very excited to see how you like homecha!

CHURCH BOY JOSH HDHDJDDKKSLSDJ church boy josh, cringe domestic boy, joshua numbers. we've come up with so many nicknames for him in few asks only 😭😭 dbdjksksk deserve actually. BUT SO TRUE I STILL HAVE NO WORDS FOR HIM. THAT WAS- JUST- WOW OKAY WE SEE YOU 😭😭and dino lip piercing and hoshi eyebrow slit..... so sexy of them. cb concept pictures haven't come out yet & they're already shinning!! love to see that. also now we have gyu and hoshi's wedding reception pictures & cottagecore hannie (with that collarbone picture right in middle >:( wth mister but also hbd ig <3) being added in the equation.

IM CRYINGGGGGG THEY LOOK SO CUTE THEY ARE SO CUTE NOO 😭😭💔 HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THESE COVERS WTH (being the ex-directioner and all dhdjkdsksk). I SMILED SO WIDE WATCHING THEM <///3 it's been so long since i heard one thing wow lol. but! this means they know who zayn is. thank you for this jdjssk this is going to keep me happy for some time hdjdke. SUNDAY MORNING EHJEJEKE 😭 thank you <3 dndjdj

IKR???? IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CB I'M ALSO EXCITED TO EXPERIENCE IT WITH YOU. agreee truly bless svt for helping keeping us from losing it over life (by making us lose it over them) tbh sometimes it worries me too with the way contents keep dropping but just now in these unit interviews being released, perf unit shared how they have ppl who encourage them to be okay with their tiredness. things like that put me at ease. hope they rest well from time to time too. honestly just looking at their tour schedules i used to get tired because these dudes used to have more shows and less day offs and some of them being used to just move from one city to another. i hope in coming years pledis changes that lol.

sameee for the poster release hdjdkeek. also even though there was scheduler, i forgot abt the concept trailer 😭 it was raining & bcoz of that power was out as well & i don't use data dhdjdkdk. i think 5 minutes after 12 kst power came back (you can say joshu's sparkler brought it back hdjdjdks) it literally left me speechless. yk that meme ' everyone remembers what they were doing & where they were when it happened ' that's me & you with this cb hfjdkd honestly that's everyone with this cb me thinks.

seventeenies bringing the grass to you w their posts djdjkd ( btw you can always tell me if silly little jokes get out of hand i wouldn't ever like to make you uncomfy) but seriously i hope uni doesn't give you hard time. don't worry much just keep moving forward, at some point whatever is making you feel stuck will move away eventually.

is it that obvious? 😭😭😭😭 no i don't like rain at all dhjddk (i actually didn't dislike it as much during teens) mostly because road drainage system sucks here & we live in lower area so even moderate rain causes water logging. i'd give you some rain but this one's bad so i won't </3 ( as if i could if it were the good one 💀) stay hydrated!!! drink two sips of water everytime you hear dino laugh, i hope it cools a little soon.

that's what being on tumblr since 2012 does to you 😭 ALSO UR SO FUNNY PLS, SO ARE THE MEMES YOU USE FOR ASKS DJDJDKD. *hands you bunny headband dino* it's dangerous outside take this, you too stay safe out there 😭😭😭😭 love you too <3 and thank YOU for hanging out w me hehe :3, also dw tbh these asks have become one of the highlights for me now & i'm only using my free time excluding resting time, i hope you are too, no pressure at all! dw about being late - 🪂

ps - did i tell you i actually followed your svt blog around the time everyone was guessing your biases hddjkddj i sent mingyu & jeonghan dhdjdj that was my first ask :3 - 🪂

henlo, 🪂!! <3 <3 <3

honestly it doesnt matter to me tbh <3 if people enjoy the dance its all that matters!! and omg i can see that!! i love the svteenies always bring something fresh to the table

omg that means you're near the end 😭😭😭 i keep seeing gifs of it on my dash and it makes me feel a lil lovesick ngl HJFHJFHD why is it so TENDER????????????????

ok but that's so valid too bc that's me rn with in the soop.... i literally have not watched the 6th ep yet 😭 and i'm getting the feeling youre mentioning w swf now because i literally always look forward to tuesdays just for the next ep HJDHJDS also i am dumb what are no-airs HJDHJDHHD and ur not alone tbh <3 i have also been super forgetful lately and that is not like me fdhjdfjhdfhjdfhj we're rotting in this hellsite ig

love bullying him i just wanna know how he'd react if he gets upset <3 i dont think we've ever seen angry josh and i wanna make him angry sm HSDHJSDJ im glossing over dino lip piercing to directly go over hOSHI EYEBROW SLIT BC HELLO??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ive never really liked eyebrow slits but he makes them look so- i want him to hurt me HJDSHJDHJDS ALSO THE LATEST SET OF PHOTOS OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD they're giving me what i've been asking for i love being here sm <3 soonyoung's so chummy w everyone have u seen his photos w jihoon last night 😭 he's literally tamed the actual tiger icb this. and no oh my god i do not Know what Collarbone Jeonghan is i have erased him from my memories thank u

HDSHDSJDSHJDS the ex-directioner is so funny to me 😭 i think we have all been there one way or another <3 and ofc omg <3 i'm glad my core svt memories make u happy HSDJHJDFHJHJDSF

they literally said escapism hELP ME 😭😭😭😭😭 i think they're also just workaholics in general. i would be too if i actually enjoyed what i did for a living 😭 and are we even gonna get tours in the near future.... this is so sad i havent even seen them irl </3

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OMG that's terrible, i hope u guys were okay though :/ AND NOT THE JOSH SPARKLER FDDHJFHDFHJFDHFDH now i have to think about him oh my god i think i passed out a little when eyebrow piercing josh came on screen and just full on blacked out when the match scene came on tbh 😭 JKSDJKDSKDS ITS LIKE THE PANDEMIC!!!!!!! WE WILL RMB!!!!!!!!!

ALSOO NOOO OMG i dont feel uncomf at all and u should also tell me if i do make u feel so <3 thank u for even mentioning that!! also love that they're Doing It All for us we dont even have to go out to touch grass anymore HJDSHJSDJ i've actually been v happy w uni omg!! just that i often feel stressed bc they give us sm things to do </3 thank u for ur kind words!!

that's the price of being an adult JDJSJKD now we gotta think of things like.. idk the effects of rain 😭😭😭 i used to even love it when it flooded as a kid HJDSHJSDHJ now i get anxious too!! i love all kinds of rain though so i wont mind JKKSDKJSDKJD just that other people might be affected </3 wish i had my own rain cloud on some kind of leash lmao. ALSO IF I DRINK WATER EVERY TIME I HEAR DINO LAUGH FDHFDHJDFHD gonna be bloated but hydrated af ngl

oh my gOD YOU WERE HERE SINCE 2012???? we're literally sick bestie <3 i genuinely think tumblr has changed something fundamental in me and my way of thinking has not been The Same as idk.. regular people ig JDSHJSDHJSD THE OFFLINE PEOPLE!! smth about tumblr is so <3 sick but also i love this hellsite so 😗 AND NOOO NOT THE MEMES FDHDFHJDF its my broken sense of humor and inability to convey emotions properly HHSDHJDSHJ

BUNNY HEADBAND DINO?????????????????????????????????????? honestly he'd bring me more harm than protection i'll say that much 😭

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 that genuinely made me feel so warm & fuzzy, i always look forward to your messages too <3 <3 <3 i hope u always have good days u deserve it for being such a sweetheart

WAIT HELLO???????????????????????? YOU'VE BEEN HERE FOR SO LONG THEN 😭😭😭😭😭 and im so impressed you didnt get weeded out ngl HFDHJFDHJFD icb you've been witnessing me going more ill everyday <3 ur a soldier

and u are partially correct abt mingyu & jh <3 at least during the time JSDJDSJKSDJK i think i've been desensitized to mingyu now but i still love him sm <3 he's just so cute and cutesy boys kinda infuriate me in an affectionate way so HJSDHJDSHJDSH

[saltynemo]

In Real Life

WHATADO Everybody, its your boi Nemo here. I wrote this fanfiction about Josh Dun a long time ago for my friend’s fanfiction account. But she hasn't posted it yet so I thought I would post it :) (Thank you so much beebomeebo for helping me write my first fanfiction :D)

Summery: A long lasting relationship over the internet takes a turn and Josh meets Y/n for the first time in real life. This means more physical contact for the two of them ;)

Type: Smut

Warning: Sexual Content, Cussing, !!Cute Josh!!, Long ;),  fuck, just leave already

Requested?: HELL YES

Word Count: 3.5k (3,507 words)

So without further a do, P-P-P-P-PLAY IT:

I roll my backpack off my shoulders and I let it thud next to my bed. I arch my back from all of the stress that I have been introduced to today. I flopped into my bed, staring at the ceiling. Through all of the thoughts going through my mind, my friend's username gets thrown into the mix. I suddenly look at the flashing clock on my desk. 6:30. Josh must be online! I get a burst of excitement as I run to my laptop and nearly fall into my chair. I fumble across the keys as I type in my password. I forgot everything else in the world at this point. The only focus is on my best friend...Josh!

I move the little arrow to FireFox and waited for the page to load. My Wi-Fi is such a drag. I tapped the desk impatiently. After what seemed like forever, a big orange fox appeared in the middle of the screen along with a search bar. I typed "Twitter" into the bar and clicked search. This time, it didn't take that long for the page to load. I was typing my username and password so fast, I got it incorrect a couple times. Finally, my home page was on the screen. I went to my Private Messaging tab and noticed Josh has already messaged me. I replied: Y/n: "Hey, Josh!" Josh: "Oh hey Y/n." Y/n: "What's up" Josh: "Actually, I have something to tell you" Y/n: "Yea, what is it?" Josh: "First of all, you live in Minnesota, right?" Y/n: "Yea yea, I do" Josh: "I was waiting for your birthday to tell you this...but I couldn't let you wait" Y/n: "Josh, what is it!?" Josh: "I moved into Minnesota about 2 weeks ago" Y/n: "OMG, Josh that's amazing! We have to meet up!" Josh: "Yes yes, we are going to! How about tommorow night!" Y/n: "Okay!" Josh: "How about chilis, 6:00! Don't be late ;)" Y/n: "Is there a Chili's near you?" Josh: "Yes. The one near the big mall, right?" Y/n: "Yep! Thats the one. Cya there, Jish :)" Josh: "Cya ;)"

I couldn't contain my excitement after our conversation. I jumped out of my chair and started dancing. "I'm going to meet Josh, I'm going to meet Josh, I'm going to meet Josh!" I repeatidly squealed. I quickly got out my phone and wrote down the event on my calender. "Chilis, 6:00." I whispered under my breathe as I hit the save button. I plugged my phone into the charger and jumped into my pajamas. I rolled onto my bed and went into a hudle position, trying to find a comfortable position. I fell asleep to the sound of my air conditioner vibrating.

*TIME SKIP*

6:00 didn't come fast enough. I got home around 5:00, giving myself an hour to get ready. I skipped to my closet, thinking of how Josh and I would be roomates and maybe have a family together. Him and I had very little romatic intrest in eatchother, but we did have a connection. I opened my closet, expecting the perfect dress to be right infront of me. But no, I came to an empty closet, full of band T-Shirts and ripped jeans. I figured that Josh would care less, since we were only going to Chili's. I grabbed a Fall Out Boy shirt and ripped, black jeans. I tossed them onto my bed and went back to my closet. I grabbed a black, lingerie bra with matching panties. I slipped them on and checked myself in the mirror. I really shouldnt get my hopes up. I tossed my shirt and pants on and pranced to the bathroom. I put on my makeup with such prescision, trying not to mess up. Once i was done, i popped a mint in my mouth. I looked at the flashing clock on my desk. 5:32. I should get going. I text Josh: Y/n: "On my way!" Josh: "Okie,i may be a little late, so go get us a table"- Y/n: "Gotcha, cya there."

I slipped on my black and red vans and hurried out the door.

*Time Skip to Chili's*

Once I entered the double doors, the smell of deliciouse food filled your nostrils. I went up to the front desk: "Hey, is there a table for two?" i asked. "Yes, we have reserved it for you. Give us 10-15 minutes to clean it off and get it ready for you!" she cheered. I nodded and sat on the bench, near the desk.

*Time Skip 5 minutes*

I have been browsing Tumblr for the past 5 minutes. I was beond patient because I was going to meet my friend for the very first time..in person! Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see Josh Dun walk into the Restaurent. My heart was beating faster than the snail from Turbo. I, some how, contain my nervousness and keep my eyes glued on the daily drama of Tumblr. He clears his throat and glances at my worried expression. Josh lighlty tapped my shoulder. "Um, excuse me?" I turn my attention away from Tumblr but to him. "Hey, are you Y/n?" he asked. I was stunned he knew my name. "Why-uh yea! Yes I am. How did you know?" i stuttered. Josh twiddled his thumbs and chuckled. "We met on Twitter, remember? We made a date to meet up finally." I was so shocked to here that my favorite drummer was right under my nose the entire time. I did a big smile and nervously laughed. "Oh my gosh! I didnt know i was talking to-" I cut myself off, noticing I was coming off to be kind of streight forward. I cleared my throat: "I mean, Hey!" I said with a smile. This caused Josh to laugh. His laugh gave me life.

We started talking about many different things. We talked about our favorite bands, what music we listen to, ect. It turns out we have lots in common, I couldnt get enough of him. The way his lips moved and how his eyes glanced around the room, never have I ever seen such an angel. Finally, the waiter escorted us to our booth. "Sorry for the wait, were kind of busy today! So, what can I get you 2 to drink!" the waiter giggled. Josh looked at me: "Ladies first." he said. I chuckled on how polite he was. "Um, water please." I said. "Ill have a water, too" Josh said, following a toothy smile. His smile got me everytime. "Alrighty! 2 waters coming right up" the waiter giggled. She walked away and dissapeared into the kitchen door. I looked back at Josh, who was already looking at me, causing me to smile. "So." he said. "Well, I would like to know why you moved to Minnesota." I asked. Josh sighed: "Well, I would like to be completley honest with you.." he said, looking into my eyes. "I came here to see you. Since I had the money, I decided to pay you a visit." he said, following with a light smile. At this point, I have fallen for him. He was perfect! But did he feel the same way? "Aww, Josh. That really means alot to me!" I cheered. He chuckled and slowly leaned in. This was my chance! I leaned in too and we were just about to kiss when the waiter showed up with our waters. "Here ya go!" the waiter cheered as she placed them down infront of us. "Oh- thank you!" Josh said while he leaned back into his seat. I slowly leaned back aswell. "Are we ready to order?" she asked. "Um, not just yet. Give us, um, 5 minutes." Josh said, and gave a light smile. "Okay! Ill be right back." she said while skipping away. We stared at eatchother. Both of our expressions were akward. I giggled, and picked up the menu. So did he.

After about 10 minutes of total silence, we put down the menus. "So what are you having?" I asked. "Im just gonna have cheese pizza. What about you?" Josh asked with a grin. "Well, I was going to have that too!" I laughed. Josh laughed aswell. The waiter must have heard our orders. "Coming right up" she giggled. We both chuckled along with her. Suddenly, a tall man bounced over to our table. He must have been 6"5, he was huge! "Hey you love birds!" he cheered. We looked at eatchother and just laughed it off. "Hey!" Josh said. "Would the young lady like a balloon?" he asked. Josh looked over at me. I shrugged my shoulders: "Why not!" i giggled. "Make that 2 young ladies!" Josh joked. "Hahaha! Alrighty then. Ladie 1 first: What animal would you like?" he asked. I thought for a minute: "Can you make a poodle?" I ask the hulk. "Of course I can!" he cheered as he yanked a long pink balloon out of his pocket. He playfully blew it up while dancing akwardly. Josh and I laughed akwardly with him. After the balloon was a reasonable size, he started twisting it. I lightly cringed at the squeaky noises he was making.

After what seemed like an hour, the giant handed me a pink poodle with 2 dots for eyes. I laughed as i took it and put it down next to me. "Now what would the second young lady like?" he joked. "Oh, um, how about a snake! Ill make it easy for you." Josh chuckled. "Okie Dokie!" the balloon man said. Once again, he pulled out a long balloon, but this time, it was green. He blew air into the hole, causing it to inflate. He twisted and turned it into a slithery snake. The hulk brought out a red marker and drew a long, forked tounge on the mouth. He handed it to Josh: "Here you go, ma lady" he smiled. Josh laughed and took it. He held it up to his face and stuck his tounge out to it, trying to be funny. I let out a laugh, so did he. We looked up at the balloon man. "Thank you! Here, take a 10" I said with a smile and gave him a 10 doller bill. "Your welcome! Have a nice night!" the hulk cheered and he walked away to another table. Me and Josh giggled to ourselves. "What are you naming yours?" I playfully asked. "Well, he looks like a Tyler to me." he exclaimed with a small chuckle. I smiled: "Im naming mine Paras." I joked. Josh laughed: "You mean like- the pokemon?" he asked. "Yea, yea!" I said laughing with him.

*TIME SKIP*

"Oh, im stuffed" Josh said, pushing his plate away. "Yea, same here" I say, whipping a napkin across my mouth. The waiter some how hears this and bounces over: "Any dessert for tonight?" she asks. "No thank you, were stuffed." Josh exclaims. "Alrighty then! Here is the check." she said as she places the check on the table. "May I take your plates?" she asks. "Yes you can, thank you" I say, adding a hiccup at the end. The waiter takes the plates and walks away to the kitchen. Me and Josh stare at the check for a good 30 seconds. We glance up at eatchother. "Who ever grabs the check first will pay for it." he jokes. "Your on!" I say. We both say in unison: "1, 2...3!", we both bolt for the check. Of course, my hand misses the check, causing Josh to grab it. "Oh come on! Not fair." I say. We both laugh. Josh leaves cash to pay for the meal and a tip for the waiter. We both get up. "It was an amazing night! Thank you." I say. "It was really fun." he says. Josh held out his hand and i grabbed it. We both walk out of Chili's with smiles on our faces.

Once we reached my car, he lets go of my hand: "So, the fun doesnt exactly have to be over." Josh says, rubbing his hands together. "Yea, it doesnt. How about you follow me home! We can stay up and watch movies or something." I ask. He picked up his head "That would be fun! Ill just follow your car." Josh said with a toothy grin. I start to walk to my car when i felt a hand grab my wrist, making me turn to Josh's direction. He suddenly landed his lips on my cheek. I blushed and smiled. He smiled too while he walked the other direction to his car. I stayed still for a minute, watching him walk with his hands in his pockets. There was no going back, I have fallen for a famouse drummer, and I loved him.

*TIME SKIP TO YOUR HOUSE*

The whole way home I was thinking of Josh. Questions were circling through my head: Did he like me? What if i ruin this? Those thoughts dissapeared once i entered my neighborhood. I pulled into my driveway and parked my car. Once I got out, Josh's car soon pulled next to mine. He got out of his car and closed his door. We stared at eatchother for a good 5 seconds: "So, are you gonna show me around?" he asked. I snaped out of it: "Oh- yea yea, follow me." I stuttered as I nervously laughed, causing him to laugh, too. I walked up to my front door and unlocked it with my key. I pushed my way in and held the door open for Josh. "Thanks." he nearly whispered. I nodded my head and closed the door, locking it behind me. I dropped some of my things on a shelf: "Sorry for the mess.." I say. "Oh no, its fine! My house is worse, im still unpacking." he laughed. I smile and turned the TV on. "Sit down, Josh! Make yourself comfortable." I say, pointing to the couch. He nods, taking off his shoes and sitting down. I sat infront of my DVD Rack: "Ok, would you like to watch...a scary movie, romantic, um- comedy?" I ask. Josh thinks for a moment. "How about scary." he grins. I smile and nod my head. "Is the Conjuring 2 alright?" I questioned. He nodded his head. I slide the DVD into the VCR and sit down next to Josh. I turned up the volume so we can hear it. The lights were already off, so I didnt have to bother with that.

*TIME SKIP TO END OF MOVIE*

The credits rolled onto the screen and I stood up, stretching my arms like I have just woke up from a great nap. Josh did the same. "That was a scary movie" I joked, putting my arms down. "Oh yea, I forgot how scary that movie was." he said, adding a smile at the end, putting his hands down and shoving them into his pockets. There was a moment of silence while we stared at our socks. "So, what else do you wanna do?" Josh asked. I smiled: "Tag, your it!" I squealed as i started running around the house. Luckily, my house was big enough for 2 adults to be running around like children. He picked up his head and laughed while trying to catch me. I ran into my bedroom, not remembering its a dead end. I almost ran into my desk I was in such a hurry. Before I could turn around, Josh picked me up from behind and playfully swung me onto my bed. Unexpectedly, he came down with me, causing him to fall on top of me. We laughed at our child like behavior, soon noticing we were in an akward position. We stared into our eyes for a little bit, then causing a massive connection with our lips. This was the first time I ever felt his lips.

Josh put his hands on my face while he continued to kiss me. He slowly pulled away and smiled at me as we looked into eachothers eyes. I couldnt help but grin back at him. He was the most perfect thing you could see. Josh quickly pushed his lips back into mine. He licked the top of my lip, asking if he can enter. I opened my mouth slightly so we can twirl our tounges together. I put my hands on his back, slowly creeping my hands up to the back of his head. So many thoughts were going through my mind as we moaned into eachothers mouths. I continue to rub my hands through his soft, colorful hair. The only time we disconnected our lips was when we crawled to the middle of the bed, so his head was on a pillow and I was on top of his stomach. After we got comfortable, we went back to kissing. I tugged on Joshs shirt lightly, signaling for him to take off his shirt. He took it off, revealing bare skin. God, I wanted to suck at his skin all day.

We continued to kiss for awhile as I rubbed his skin. Everything about Josh was soft. I ran my hands slowly down to the growing bulge in his pants. Once i reached it: I squeezed it and kissed his upper lip, then going back to his mouth. "Fuck..." he moaned aloud. He stuttered words i couldnt make out. I continued to rub and squeeze it. I then brought my other hand down to join and slowly unbuttoned his jeans. I gave him one last short kiss before moving my whole body down so i was facing his crotch. I tugged his jeans down and through them to one of the corners of my bedroom. I looked up at Josh and grinned. He smiled back. I pulled his boxers all the way down, revealing an obviously happy member. I threw his boxers to a corner of the room. I began to rub it slowly as he moaned aloud. I slipped his head into my mouth which made him moan even louder. The whole bedroom was filled with his moans and groans, which turned me on even more. I fit as much of his dick as i could get in, and rubbing the rest i couldnt fit in. I looked up at him, he was looking up at the ceiling and moaning loud. "Y/n..im gonna.." Josh groaned. I pulled away and took my own shirt off, exposing my black, lingerie bra. "I love you." He choked out. "I love you too.." i replied.

He unbuttoned my jeans and ripped them off along with my panties and tossed them off in the same corner as my jeans. I quickly ran my fingers through his hair while he unhooked my bra from the back and threw it off in the same corner. Josh grabbed my right breast and began sucking on it. We exchanged moans to eachother. He looked up at me and rubbed the other one. I couldnt help but giggle at him .He giggled back at me and then switched boobs. Josh stopped and came up to kiss me. He kissed me hard enough to get me to fall back as he climbed back on top of me. He continued to kiss me

Josh burried his face in my neck and sucked on it as he slid into me. I moaned super loud. "Jo...Josshh...Fuckkkk!!" He started off slow, moving in and out of me. I never felt so full in my life. He muttered, "I love y..ohh..ughh.fuckk.." I moaned in response. His thrusts became harder and harder. "JoSHHhh..oOhhhh.." I cried. "Y/nnNN..." He choked out. Weexchanged moans for a long while as he continued to thrust harder and faster. "J-Josh...Im gonnaaaaoohhh...." I squealed out, climaxing soon after. I felt him also climax with me as he moaned loudly, "OoooOooohhh fuuuuckk..." I let Josh lay on top of me, with his head still resting on my neck, for a little while to let him catch his breathe.

He lifted his head and pulled out of me, rolling next to me. I looked over at him. "I..love you.." I nearly whispered to him. Josh smiled and turned twards me. "I love you too" He said, staring into my eyes. We stayed like this for a long time before Josh got up and slipped his boxers on. "Are you planning on staying the night...?" I asked him, picking up my head. "Only if you want me to." Josh said with a smile. I nodded in reply. I got under the sheets, not caring that i didnt put my pajamas on. Josh hopped back in bed too. I scooted over to him, resting my head on his chest. "Goodnight, baby girl." He said, quickly kissing the top of my head. "Goodnight.." I said with a smile. I knew we both had wanted to lay there forever, because our heart beats had matched.

(Sorry if it had some errors in it...but overall it was fun to write and I hope you enjoyed it :)) And again, thx to beebomeebo (tumblr name) and go follow her for more fanfics!!!)

[apricotflowerp0t-blog]

Old poems

these are all of MY older poems going from 2014-2017

found my wattpad from ages ago and im going to be posting my old poems every now and then so pls dont make fun of me these are old but i WILL eventually start to post my newer work soon xxxxx 

 Suicide stays on my mental

Wondering what's really gonna happen when I finally break thru

When I finally get fed up and sick of the shit

When I finally sit there and decide to quit

The only thing that's stopping me is my own hand

Feels like nobody really there like it's all just an act

I really don't have nobody that truly got my back

Every single one of you is fake and fucking temporary

Nobody gonna b satisfied till I finally end it

Till I finally get pushed to the point and say fuck it

You think I'm all talk but watch one day I'll show you

When I finally get the guts to just end it cuz see I don't even know you

I could cut it off quick like I got nothing to live for

Cuz see I'm truly careless like it don't even matter

You not gonna b happy till my brains really splatter

Suicide crosses my mind often

I wonder what I look like inside of a coffin

I have a handful of attempts but see when I get to that point I hear this voice in my head don't know if it's god, satan, or just somebody dead

The voice always tells me to stop and I end up listening but I'm learning to ignore them and eventually you'll see my blood glistening

I turn it into jokes so I don't have to deal with it

So I don't have to accept the fact that I'm not good or how I'm misunderstood

Suicide all in my head Wondering what's gonna happen if I end up dead

When I say goodbye and go to the sky Don't miss me then cuz we both know it's pretend 

-c.m

(2014)

i rolled with the punches

although sometimes it felt as if i was getting jumped

i can still taste the tears of regret

i can feel the feeling of mental abandonment

i hold my breathe all day

and fucking gasp for air at night

you were the same as everyone else

you changed me and not for the good

i hate the fact that i can not hate you

you made me feel so alone

i loved you and you loved to make me cry

i didnt care bc you were the only one there

yet you made me want to pull out my hair

its like you hated me more than you loved me

you got a kick out of hurting my heart and watching me fall apart

i got a kick out of having someone to call my own

you made me feel ugly and worthless

made me feel like i was not worth it

your words would cut me like sharp piks

your voice was frightening like the scary music in a horror film

but our memories still cross my mind from time to time

i would look into your eyes and you would always look back

so tell me did why did you have to hurt me

why did you have to make me feel even more forsaken

you lied to me so much that i never knew the truth

and i think thats starting to happen with this new girl too

see youve changed me and not for the better

now i can never trust someone fully it just wont b the same

and to this day i still cringe when i hear your name

i see the good in all people and see thats my problem

i should of turned around as soon as you walked in

young thoughts that walk thru my mind but only sometimes

(2015)

-c.m

i’ve lived in a life of heaven examined as a world of sin

your eyes are the fences to heaven within

each day i will tell you your worth

that you are my personal guardian angel here on earth

that you are my sunshine on a dark day

that by your side i will stay until the day we turn gray

you showed up right in time

for you any hill i will climb

cariño, sólo pienso en ti

without you id b empty

you are truly a blessing

the thought of losing you is quite depressing

you are my favorite daydream

when i look at you i can tell your eyes gleam

make you climax till you scream

for you id do anything

-c.m

(2017)

i get happy over little stuff

i like words like shit and fuck

i dont enjoy having friends

i see the world thru a thick lens

i have a dog named junior

yeah hes rad and gnarly

i dont ever go to parties

and i dont like 2 say sorry

all my thoughts are glitter and sparkly

im looking for myself like safari

i like girls more than boys

i play with they emotions like toys

a lot of people crush on me

always rushing and nudging me

they like the way that im raw and how i put them in awe

i hit my head on the wall

i act like i am above all

im always laughing like im off alcohol

i find everything funny

like how my mom just dont love me

dirty everyone has done me

how everyone likes to just judge me

they like how im chubby and lovely

i like music a lot

my thoughts are always nonstop

sometimes they call me flowerpot

i like to drink tea and not soda

im the sickest, ebola

i hate the winter its too cold

in the summer i grow

i like stickers and socks

i like the jellies and boondocks

i like anime and hentai

i dont like to lie or cry

im sweet like pumpkin pie

i hit that bitch in her eye

i own nothing but ripped vans

but one day youll see me driving that benz

i like strawberry shakes

and to make girls legs quake

i keep them wet, the great lakes

i like long walks by myself

i cant reach the top shelf

i think tattoos and piercings are cool

trust no one, thats my rule

i like oldies and funk

im clumsy like an old drunk

i dont like to come out my bubble

it always seems to put me in trouble

i hate to hate

to me you may never relate

i get happy over little stuff

i put up this front like im tough

i seem to carry bad luck

im the best, hands up

-c.m

(2014)

screaming 666

my feelings mix

wonder what he has in his bag of tricks

my eyes continue to drip

i feel my soul as it slips

should i give it to him or keep it for myself

my soul is cold like an ice shelf

hes called for my name himself

shall i continue to be forever alone by oneself

or give it away to be loved and admired

my patience is expired

singing by myself like a lonely choir

wondering what it feels like to be sincerely supported and appreciated

wondering why i was even created

the fearsome part is is that i am not afraid

ive often thought about giving my psyche for trade

it walks across my mind often

i continue to live a life of no precaution

i sin often

so whats the point

why am i waiting

should i give it up and inside become rotten

or stay on the safe side and still disappoint

wondering if that deal would be worth it

cuz everyone knows im not perfect

-c.m

(2017)

god treated my sexuality like a joke

ive always knew but i never spoke

the day they found out everything went rabbid

acting like my choice of companions was just a bad habbit

ugly words thrown at me like queer and fruitcake

fruitcake to every christmas dinner that i am no longer welcomed at

not wanting me to walk in front of them like a black cat

get up everyday wearing the word faggot like an expensive pair of sunglasses

take the time to cross the street just so you dont  have to share a sidewalk with me

die of thirst so they dont have to use the same water fountain as me

that i should just like he and not she

saying that i am a sin and you will pray for me

cuz im homo you act like im ill like im missing chromos

think its a shame so you back out of my life in slow-mo

that girl es asqueroso y loco

then to accept me you rather push me on the streets like a hobo

sorry that i cannot be saved and you cant just wash this sin away

at the end of the day i dont care if you stay

-c.m

(2016)

Hi my angel

I hope all is well

I hope you still look down on me while I sit in this empty cell

No it's not jail but simply life now

I thought I could never do it without you but look at me now

I miss you dearly and still cry often

Wondering why you had to lay in that coffin

The thought of you still makes my eyes tear

The fact that I will never see you again makes me want to throw a chair

I forgot what your voice sounds like and even your laugh

I'd give anything up to take all that back

My first mother, father and friend

I'd kill someone to see you just once again

I miss you my angel more than anything I've took grip of

I hope you still look down from way up above

Always in my heart my one and true love

Goodbye for now but I'll see you again

Forever my angel till we meet again

-c.m

(2016)