#im having to hold the entire group back for them to catch up

[notyourmamasdeerbat]

Hey I hope you're doing okay! Remember to drink water, love right back at you! NO TIME TO THINK- CATCH THIS!

[throws my entire 5'10" Rook at you]

inane rambling under the cut (I love my Rook so much and I'm so so so normal about this game. CW: mentions of violence/scars, some angst, Super Unserious Disorder)

I'm going to start with the thing that broke my own heart when I was making tea this morning. Rook leaves their flank WIDE open in combat. Their back is often turned or vulnerable in moments of distraction, and despite their sword and bow- a careful enemy can take out the back of their knees or screw with their balance at the waist in the beginning of the game because "shit.. haha that's where Varric used to be when we got into a scrape. oops." DONT MIND ME IM NOT CRYING YOU ARE.

My Aldwir is also one of two things at any time. Buzzing buzzing buzzing talking a mile a minute hyped up on every caffeinated beverage imaginable or just... unnaturally still. Quiet. Like a statue. They're an observer on days where they haven't slept well (most days now, after D'Meta's Crossing and beyond) and find it difficult to make conversation when their eyes ache and their blood feels too thick in their mouth. However! There are good days when they can properly sit for at least and hour (or lay on the floor, which is often preferable because ouch oof joints and spine)

Their entire body is covered in tattoos that their childhood best friend and best friend's mother designed/inked for them (all in deep blue ink, the same color as their friends' mothers' vallaslin), some covering scars from when Arlathan threw hands with Coadi and won.

They have many little hobbies, including singing in private (badly), almost anywhere they can be (or think they are) alone. The wisps have a tendency to eavesdrop ("bastards"/affectionate) and so do a few choice companions. Assan and Manfred are the only accepted audience members who can get in for free- The price is steep (50 gold AT LEAST) if you actually want to sit and listen. Even then Rook gets all quiet and red because AUGH WHAT DONT PERCIEVE ME

Rook also loves plants, especially the carnivorous variety. Almost as much as they love bugs. Lightning bugs, carnivorous beetles, moths, anything strange and small. They spend a lot of time with Harding in the Greenhouse with their hands in the dirt, or chasing off the weird little spirit/Fade insects that might eat the- what the- how the hell did a snail get in here- "LACE ITS GOING AFTER THE ELFROOT SOUND THE ALARM"

My Rook has fallen squarely between the "Nice" and "Jokester" categories. Nothing means more to Aldwir than the connections they've forged with their strange codependent polycule(?) combat competent pals. It's very much the meme I can never find.

[You've recruited Coadi Aldwir]

[Coadi Aldwir will now die for you]

They always have a hot drink somewhere with them. It is a comfort to hold a steaming mug and let it warm their hands or their chest. Their boxers are embroidered with running red nugs. They collect pressed flowers and spend hours tinkering with old artifacts with Bellara. They are notoriously bad at consistently taking notes. Source? Idk man, my brain. (It drives Bellara and Emmrich nuts on group projects in the workshop)

When pressed/stressed/wigging out, you can find them in Davrin's room listening to him carve wood in silence as they focus on brushing, smoothing, brushing Assan's feathers and coat for hours. Assan is such a good boy, because he can hear the pounding of their heart, smell the tang of terror and exhaustion on their skin, and even though he's boooored, so bored, he sits still and perfect until Rook either falls asleep or he does.

In their first encounter, Rook threw a Fade rock at Solas when they realized they couldn't jump the Chasm™️

It didn't make it, of course. But that was Fade fuckery. Rook has very good aim.

I need a distraction from thinking today, please tell me the weird things about your Rook.

You'll have my eternal gratitude and love <3

[poughkeepsies]

this student is pissing me OFF

[knightyoomyoui]

If I Never See Your Face Again [+18] (COMMISSIONED)

ft. TWICE's Nayeon (x Male Reader and other TWICE members)

TYPE: Fluff, Angst, Smut

WORD COUNT: 10650

REQUESTED/ORDERED BY: @vl-45

TAGS: manipulation, betrayal, one-time fling, rejection, foursome, threesome, drunk sex, casual sex

NOTE: Pardon if the ending felt rushed or lacking, my brain kind of got challenged as I ran out of words to generate and creatively emphasize the situation further so I let it be simpler.

DONATE OR REQUEST FOR COMMISSION HERE: https://ko-fi.com/knightyoomyoui

DESCRIPTION: YN and Nayeon were classmates back in high school. Two different personalities, Nayeon is a bully who orders YN for her own benefit through his attribute of having an exceptional intelligence and social awkwardness with people. 15 years later, they met again unexpectedly, got introduced to their improvements over their lives. As they try to move forward from their horrible past, a turn of events pushes them to revisit and realize their regrets.

===ooo===

ACT 1

15 YEARS AGO

YN is a young, brilliant mind in the class. Coming from parents who were both masters in their respective degrees and are now professionals, he sure did inherit intelligence since birth. A proud product of the engineering course, YN is said to be one of the best students to ever step on their campus.

Due to his excellence in academics, especially in the subjects that are highly related and are a must for taking in the future, YN was always the number one contender, being chosen by his profs to be a representative in various quiz bees. As expected, most of the contests he’s been at, he dominated them all. He surely does personify what their course should act upon whenever they represent it against the rest.

YN is love is profs but also by intelligence, but also on how well-mannered the youngster is. However, they cannot be compared in similarity to his classmates and the rest of the students around him on the campus despite good characteristics. Among them, there’s a specific person who doesn’t show any appreciation for all the qualities he has that make their school famous.

He was running in the hallway in panic that he even bumpedpintontoher students coming in his way. He’s apologetic, but he never never minded irritated looks of the others at him because he has no other time to be concerneaboutaboutout them. Right now, there’s one thing that he needs to accomplish importantly.

He accidentally dropped some of the books and notebo wass he wasas carrying in his arm, making some of the students look at him either hilariouslyembarrassingly. gly. Picking them up real quick, he headed quickly to the said spot in the open ground. There, he saw those familiar people was waas scheduled to mee.

Three of the meanest girls he’s ever met,, met, onlonon this campus but in his entire life. Led by the leader of the group, the narcissistic, egotistical maniac named Im Nayeon,,, as from what he can describe about her. She was sitting prettily alongside her sidekicks, the cousins Kim Jennie and Kim Yerim. She was looking away with the portable mini fainin her hand blowing on on on her face when Jennie spotted him approaching from the distance.

“Look who sup,ed up,” Yeri said with a grin as she lookeddd at him catching his breath. “And it seems that our boy here is living up to his word aexpected,d,” she said as she looked at the notebooks he’s holding.

Nayeon glances at him with her sharp eyes. “As he should, but that doesn’t give you the pass to be late,” she blurted. “We’ve been waiting for like 10 minutes here, and gosh,,, it’s so hot ihere! e! ”

“I’m so sorry. My alarm clock didn’t ring early, so I didn’t have that much time to prepare,” he excused.

“Is this what a role model should be? Smart but irresponsible?” Jennie said, wheezing.

“Did you do our assignments?” Nayeon stood up from her seat and crossed her arms.

“Y-yes. I did it last night.”

“Good. Give us our notebooks.” And he did.

“Now get out of our sight; class is about to start.” 

“Uhm… can I ask something first?”

Nayeon groaned. “Ugh, what is it?”

“My b-brother got sick, and he got rushed to the hospital. My mom is taking care of him, but she also needs my help because she’ll be out looking for some assistance for my brother’s medical bills. That’s why I w-want to ask if it’s fine that I can’t be making your assignments for now; I’m afraid I may not have much time b-because I have to go to the hospital always right after our class,” he said with caution.

Nayeon snickered and seethed teeth. “And if I say no, what is it going to be?”

“Nayeon, please. I have to attend for my brother first; it’s just going to be for a while—”

“Wait, stop right there for a second.” Jennie paused him. “What makes you think for a second that we would agree to your excuse?”

“Haha right, we don’t even care about you. What more from your family as well, when all of you are just plain pathetic?” Yeri laughs.

“Don’t you also forget that our finals are about to come next week? What are we going to score on our exams if you don’t teach us?” Nayeonnn added.

“B-but…”

“Hep. We have an agreement, remember?”

He gulped nervously.

“You’ll come for us when we say we need you to. You know what happens if you break our deal, right?” Nayeon closes her hand to a fist in front of him. “Do you want to lose everything you worked hard for now?”

“N-no…” He shook his head.

“Attaboy.” Nayeon patted him. “Then we’re settled. About your brother, just think of other ways or whatever. Let’s end this here; I don’t want my beautiful mood to be ruined this early.” She said with sass, chuckling as they left his side to head through their classroom.

He just sighed and looked back at them with a frown. He really wanted to look after his brother first, but he also didn't want to test Nayeon and the power of her family’s status that would cost his dreams to disappear. Without having any choice, he had to think of another strategy to balance his attention to both.

Having a lot of knowledge stored in your bright brain is nothing if your own self isn’t as rich and healthy to sustain your characteristics. Through the natural occurrences of him having to endure Nayeon and her gang’s abuse along with his personal struggles, he then began to develop damage in every aspect of his well-being that caused him to worsen his introverted personality, lose track of his academic performance, and become traumatized with other people.

The professors were shocked by the sudden change in his performance. If only they knew the reason, they would’ve exposed Nayeon in a heartbeat. He couldn’t do it on his own or even through other people since his nerdy and shy demeanor rather cost him the opportunity to gain friends, and he won’t plan to risk the idea either, as he knows he’ll face the consequences in the hands of those three bullies of his.

But one day, in an unexpected occurrence, the entire organization, the instructors, and his classmates were then informed that he had decided to stop his studies for now. The reason is not detailed yet; it says that it's related to personal matters. Nayeon was surprised and agitated at the same time, knowing that the nerd they were holding captive just sneakily abandoned them and let them all alone now to continue by searching for a new victim.

ACT 2

15 YEARS LATER

In the midst of a chilly Wednesday morning, YN heads out to one of Seoul’s famous parks for some cooldown. He just got done working out at one of his friend’s gyms down the street, and now he’s exhausted from a usual 2-hour exercise he’s been doing. From the other’s perspective, especially the women’s, the results it applies to his current physique are undoubtedly impressive.

It was unknown to him that one of those would be someone he’s highly familiar with that he hooked the attention of. YN spotted some burger shack and ordered some. He took a vacant bench, sat, and unwrapped his food, not noticing that somebody just turned her head at him and was tracing him at first until both her eyes and mouth widened in surprise.

Nayeon was playing with her dog on her lap when she roamed her eyes around the surroundings. It paused when it detected a large man with muscles, one hundred percent clear in the daylight due to the white sando he was wearing. 

She was fixated on his body due to her ideal type with men, which this man seemingly possesses.It was until her gaze landed on his side profile. She squinted at first when a familiar face reminded her of when she looked at him. “No way. It’s not him, tch.” She shook her head.

She tried to lean away but her curiosity had her checking again for clarification. As he sat sideways, facing at her. That’s when her instant expression emerged.

“Impossible.” She remarked. “Is that…”

She stood up and picked up her dog. Walking towards him, her footsteps distracted him from his peaceful vibe. When a shadow covered his area, he looked up and squinted his eyes to look focusedly at this random stranger.

“Uhm can I help you?”

“I don’t know if I’m correct but… is your name YN LN?” 

YN stared at her face, and suddenly some flashbacks of that one particular person came into his mind. “N-Nayeon?” He said, stuttering. 

“It’s been a long time no see, old friend.” She smirked and traced his bewildered state. That voice ended his memory recall to remember who this woman is. However, that shock replaced with an unnerving feeling he hadn’t felt in a while for a person.

“You sure do still remember me.” She chuckled.

He stood up and immediately grabbed his bitten burger, his fear activating his actions. “I-I’m sorry, I have to go-”

Nayeon gripped his arm, which made him tremble. “Hey, wait. If you think I’m here to make fun of you or whatever, that’s not what I came for,” she said, which made him prove that his reaction to her is obvious and embarrassing.

He just stopped and stared at her as she held him in restriction. “I just want to come up and meet you; well, it’s been rare for me to see another ex-classmate from high school other than Yeri and Jennie.” She grinned. “I swear, I just want to catch up with you, but… do you really have something else to do now?”

Her awareness and calm demeanor are so strange for YN. This is not the same Nayeon he used to know back then. That type he used to be forced to deal with was way worse and the complete opposite of this version of her he’s talking with today.

“N-not that much, actually.” He shyly said.

“It can wait, come on. It’s been nice to see you, YN. Can we talk for a moment if you like?” She smiled at him. He is just speechless as he watches and listens to the way she converse at him. It had him now question her in his mind, did Nayeon’s personality changed over the years?

YN only nodded and Nayeon replied with “Great! Come on, let’s take a seat.” He joined her side and as they did, her dog suddenly switches to his lap.

“He likes you already huh.” She giggled at she watches her dog rub himself on YN’s lap.

“What’s his name?”

“Kookeu.”

“He’s cute.” He timidly replied as he strokes his fur.

“Are you a dog person?”

“More of a cat but dogs will do, especially if something as cute as this.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Nayeon chuckled. “How you’ve been doing after all these times, by the way?”

“Great.” He smiled slightly, he still haven’t doing any eye contact with her and Nayeon is starting to feel the awkwardness.

“Ahh. Well, good to know that you do. I mean, I’m the same as well so… yeah.” 

“I know. You’re an idol nowadays, right?”

“You knew?” Nayeon asked.

“Wasn’t that your dream? You’ve been like auditioning and competing in every talent competition for our campus back then. Now, your face was plastered anywhere. I’ve seen a picture of you once hanging in the postlight; it’s for your concert, I guess? ” He said. “And of course I was there because… we’ve been close since.” 

Nayeon understands what he’s referring to. “About our past, I know I’ve been harsh on you, and I’m sorry for all of that.” 

Those words made YN look at her finally. Their eyes were locked against each other; one is serious and one is flabbergasted. He closes his eyes, as all of those memories come back at him, and he can still feel the pain combined through it all.

“Ah… that’s nothing to me now. It’s fine.” He swayed his head and sheepishly laughs.

“Ahh, okay. But well, at least now you can hear it from me personally that I apologize for everything I’ve done to you. I hope that it can finally put you to rest if you were still thinking something about it.”

He lowered his head and sighed. “I’m more focused on the present now. Those were all just a lesson for me to motivate myself to continue to improve myself and never let anybody drag me down.” 

“I can’t keep on being a bad person like I used to when we were studying. I have an image to protect now as an idol,” Nayeon said as she pets Kookeu. “And all of the things that I did before, I just want to set them right by informing you how accountable I am for those.”

She offered her hand and waited for him on what he’s going to do. “So, can we be friends now?”

He wanted to give it a second thought, yet Nayeon had already given him something more evidence to prove that he could now trust her, unlike the first time they met. This is a completely different Nayeon than the one he hated with every fiber of his being. Maybe second chances won’t hurt at all.

After a few more seconds, he accepts Nayeon’s hand and shakes it. “We can.”

“Waahhh, I missed you, YN! ” Nayeon immediately cuddled him. “Speaking of improvements, wow, you really look more buff right now compared to the last time I saw you.” She saw as she looked at his biceps.

“Seems like you found a hobby to do often.”

“Yeah. I thought I can’t keep on being just a nerdy smartpants looking kid as I continue to grow up and mature, you know.” He explained. “It’s time for me to embrace a change, something that will make me feel better. And this… this is what I’m talking about.” He said as he flexes his muscles and slaps its size each which amazes Nayeon more.

“We’re kind of a same page on that one, well except from the fact that I rather do pilates.”  She said. “Anyways, do you have a job these days?”

“I did. I was an engineer”

Nayeon gasped. “Woah? Ofcourse you would be. Congratulations!!!”

“About that though… I just quit days ago.”

“Wait what?” Nayeon’s reaction dropped to perplexion. “Why so?”

“Let’s just say I wasn’t satisfied and I’m unhappy with the amount of money I get in exchange of the type of job I’m entered with. Work environment even, I feel like they don’t believe in me because of… I don’t know. Maybe I’m not really ready yet or I wasn’t meant for this.” He shrugged. “So yeah, I’m a free bird nowadays. But maybe next week I’ll start searching for some available positions from- wait.”

Nayeon hummed and looked at him in confusion when he paused. “Hmm? Is there a problem?”

“Aren’t you an idol? Wasn’t you supposed to wear masks outside? People might disturb you around here for being a celebrity and-”

“Thanks for the concern, YN but my manager is here with me.” Nayeon waved it off. She looked at YN and slowly nodded in approval after his words struck her with regards to something she’s finding for. It made her convinced further that this is the right opportunity to do so, despite she wasn’t a fan of the idea at first.

“And actually that’s a great timing for me to ask you about that… and definitely giving me the answer I’m hoping you’ll say.” Nayeon said. “You don’t need to bother or tire yourself out, I do have something that I can somehow offer you.”

“And that is?”

“Perhaps these are all coincidences but, we’re currently needing a new bodyguard in addition to our staff team in Division 3 of our company. And looking at you right now and what you just said to me about prevention against malicious fans who wanna invade my privacy, well you do quite fitting for the role.” Nayeon checks her out again and nodded in satisfaction.

“Wait, so you’re telling me that you have a job where-”

“You have to protect and guard us whenever we go. And don’t worry about it too much because we have our own vehicles and everything is either from us or the company’s expenses. Literally, that’s all you guys we’ll be doing for us. It’ll be worth it, they’ll pay you twice the overall amount of what you earned in your previous job.”

“And what happened to the previous?”

“He got shifted to another company per the agency’s request. Hence, we are now open for a replacement asap.” Nayeon answered. “Hold on, weren’t you wanted to be an engineer? Why didn’t you take any licensure exam or something?” “I-It’s a long story.” He bitterly said. Nayeon just nodded, respecting how confidential it may have been.

He remained silent. Surely this woman was the root of his struggles back in his high school, mainly because of how he was treated before and taken advantage of with his excellent attributes; a perfect student should be admired by many. After he disappeared from the campus, he felt a huge relief that he was never going to see again, but fate had been playing with him in that moment because he never expected that he would be seeing the person he never wanted to encounter again.

And now it’ll be just like the old times when he’s under her control, that he’ll work for her again. This brings back terrible memories for him, but would he still have to call it like that when this is the new version of Nayeon personally chatting with him for the first time in a long while, who also apologized for his wrongdoings that he never thought would happen? He doesn’t know if he can trust Nayeon, but right now she has something that he needs.

“So, what will your choice be, YN? We can use this also to get along more, you know. Catching up through those lost times and start building our true friendship today. What do you say?”

YN looked at her intently and went down to her hand presented at him. This is either going to be a huge mistake or surprisingly not, but for now what only matters is this job. If Nayeon can change, maybe he can too.

He took the offer, and Nayeon snickered at him and elicited delightful reception. Another person walked upon them and watched them both puzzledly. “Nayeon-ah, who is this?”

“A friend that I met. Also… can we take him tomorrow to the company? I just found someone who can fill our security team.” 

They looked at him who sheepishly smiled in return. Through Nayeon’s perspective, she’s celebrating in success as she constructs a selfish  plan for the man who reminded her about the debt he has for her. Now, it has arrived to this moment for her to make him pay for it. “Finally found you, peasant. Let’s get back to where we left off. I’ll enjoy this reunion with you a lot.” Nayeon spoke within her thoughts while she smugs at him.

ACT 3

A few days later, YN is now employed by JYPE under Division 3, which is where TWICE is under their management. He met with the other managers and interviewed him about his possible contributions to the group. YN, understanding the need to gain trust by being truthful and being very familiar with the nature of his job, answered every question with all ease despite the lingering tension inside of him.

This is all thanks to Nayeon’s assistance in getting him a new job. Sure, he may not be used yet to this new persona she’s wearing with him, but acknowledgment and gratitude for something he cannot ignore should be done. YN swore to Nayeon that he wouldn’t disappoint her and the rest for employing him.

However, he wasn’t aware yet that all of those overwhelming comments he was pouring out for the said woman were just ending up being thrown onto nothing. Whenever she turns around at YN after interacting with him, she lets out this side of her that all thought, probably him as well, disappeared a long time ago but hasn't proved enough that it still remains on her.

Nayeon would just create random sounds to signify that she wasn’t buying all of these words from YN. Since she met him again, that anger and betrayal that she felt for abandoning her before that almost led her academics to collateral damage haven’t washed up yet from her mind and heart. Even though they found somebody to replace, that student couldn’t be as great as YN.

It was a luck that she successfully passed an audition to JYPE for her to achieve a reason for her to be less frequent in the class and avoid getting failed. That’s why whenever she think that if this didn’t happen, all of this fault would be on YN’s regard. Her still lingering hatred for YN reignites in their reunion, and just like usual, she intends to continue the same thing that she thought that YN is made for them to meet: to be under her control.

“That dumb YN. Always was and always will be.” She clicked her tongue as she walked out of the building after she reciprocated YN’s goodbye.

Another obvious requirement as well for YN’s job is to meet the clients he has to give his service for. And he did; Nayeon led the tour for him to officially see in person the rest of the members in their group. He entered their dorm, and there they are, all complete to get to know their newest bodyguard.

Surprisingly, his vibe has been found by the girls to be cute and cool at the same time, which intrigued them to observe him starting from now on. Nayeon would just look at them from the distance weirdly, as she couldn’t believe that the girls were doing just fine being with such a loser like him. 

Brought by a tinge of jealousy and infuriation, Nayeon then had a chat with the girls after YN left. She joined him on the couch, and while they talked about the new guy, Nayeon intervened.

“Don’t let yourselves be soft with that guy.” Nayeon said out of nowhere with deadpanned expression.

“Hmm? What’s with the sour grapes, Nay?” Jeongyeon asked.

“I’m telling you, you don’t wanna be involved with his lame schticks. That guy wasn’t meant to have friends or so. Y’all going to waste your time with him.” 

“How ironic, weren’t you the one who brought him here for us to meet?” Jihyo raised her eyebrow. 

“Exactly, that’s why I want you girls right now that he’s not the one you guys think he is. In simpler words, limit yourselves to be around with him.”

“Wait, we don’t get it. If he cannot be trusted, why suggest him in the crew?” Momo asked. 

“Yeah you’re making him seem to be dangerous or something. Should we be cautious? You’re making us a bit worried, unnie.” Chaeyoung added.

“Don’t be. Just… keep your walls still when you’re with him. Leave him to me, I’ll handle him. Or else, you guys may end up the same as me.” 

They all looked at each other with confusion. “What happened to you two?” Sana questioned.

“Let’s just say he did something that left me struggling, after I chose to trust him to aid me whenever I was in need. That’s why that traitor isn’t capable to gain friends because he can’t keep them around with his disloyalty.”

“Hey, if you can’t continue then it’s fine.” Jihyo said to comfort their oldest sister. “That’s enough for now. Thanks for giving us a hint atleast that YN is someone we might not think he is.” 

“Yeah, we’ll be careful unnie.” Tzuyu assured.

Nayeon felt relieved that her friends sided with her. She’s determined that she’ll do anything to keep his distance from the girls and let them be stolen away, as he did to her back when they were young.

They turned those words into actions. The following days, then more than a week, they’ve gotten slightly colder to him even during work. He never bothered to come up and ask why, as he still remains folded in effect by his introvertedness of coming to approach them by his own. 

He does believe there’s a boundary between idols like him and regular workers like him; that’s why he knows it’s better to stay like that, unlike Nayeon, who he has to chat along with from time to time with regard to how he’s doing so far in his job. The girls did notice that YN is just okay with what they’re doing and Nayeon is just there to influence them to keep on going.

But, unbeknownst to them, one of them decided to stick with her observations that set her apart a little from the rest. She arranged a meet-up with YN outside, in which the latter had been curious and surprised why she wanted to talk with him.

At the garden of the estate they currently were staying, Mina saw YN just sitting on one of the benches, playing a puzzle on his phone. She walked closer and gently called his name, which had him fixating his posture and attention on her.

“I didn’t know you’re here, Miss Myoui. I’m sorry.”

“Cut the formalities, YN. Mina is fine, please.”

“Ahh, okay. Sorry, Mina.”

“That’s better.” She smiled. “Let’s make this quick, or else others might find us here. I just had to snitch away from our dorm.” She said, pointing her thumb back at the direction of their place.

“Is there anything that you want to say that’s why you bring me here?”

“Yup.” Mina nodded. “Actually, just a tip you may want to consider.”

“That is?”

“Don’t hesitate to be friends with us.” Mina said. “I’ve been noticing that you only are close with Nayeon, and I do also find you interesting as a person, I would like to get you more as well, YN.” Mina invited. 

His face expanded in shock. “B-but Mina, I—okay, you and the girls seem like very great people, but I don’t think I have the confidence to do that. I’m too secluded and don’t have the skills to communicate or simply socialize with others. I’ll be stuck at making friends.” He scratched his nape.

“You’re not alone, YN. I’m introverted just like you. We can hang out more often if you’re looking for someone who matches you.” Mina shrugs. “I just don’t like seeing you looking lost and lonely among others. I know it’s hard, but you have to keep trying. Look at me; I have them because I did. And I want to do the same for you. I got you with this, YN.”

YN felt heart warmed at Mina’s encouragement. “I don’t know; I feel like when I attempt to be near with them, I’m just pushing them away rather because I cannot be with them. That’s why I stay like this, because what others have told me was right about.”

Mina furrowed her forehead. “What do they say to you, YN?”

“I… I can’t. Forget it just-”

“YN, whatever they say about you doesn’t define who you really are. When we’re inclined to explore someone’s personality, it is up for us to discover and not based our perception to other’s judgement or opinions. Understood?”

YN nodded and lowered his head in guilt. Mina felt saddened that now she understands why he is acting like this, so preserved and quiet, a distinction to his appearance. “Believe me, I know the girls barely comes close with you but if you do the favor, trust me they’ll be the best of friends you’ll ever have in your life.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes. And you’ll understand why I love them a lot.” 

He sighed and thought about it for a second. Aside from the hesitations, he mustered up his courage and nodded slowly. “I’ll do it. I hope they let me in.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there for you.” Mina presented her palm and pushed it forward to him. Getting the signal, YN smiled and high-fived her.

“Now let’s go back to our places. Get some sleep, sorry again for calling you in midnight.” Mina giggled and YN didn’t mind it. 

Right at that moment, Mina and YN became good friends. Being true to her words as well, Mina is secretly building a bridge between YN and the girls. Ignoring Nayeon’s vengeful complaints against YN, which Mina find a bit irritating, she is motivating YN to continue proving himself to the girls.

It did work, and YN glanced at Mina impressively that the girls were now starting to change their minds about him. His natural personality got the girls to be intrigued again about everything that revolves around him. That became the start of his growing connection with the girls thanks to the help of Mina.

Meanwhile, Nayeon was baffled as to why something just changed about them. Despite her force on making them turn their back on YN, they chose to disobey and retort back at her.

“I don’t get it unnie, he doesn’t look like he’s as worse as you were saying about him to us.”

“YN is just fine. He still looks a bit shy but he’s getting there. Which makes me want to hang out with him more.”

“He’s the exact type of friend I want to be with. Chill, gentle, and shy. That’s what makes him cute though. We still don’t know what he did to you and we don’t know the whole story, but what if that’s not his intention at all, unnie? You know what, maybe you should talk it out with YN.”

Nayeon thought about Dahyun’s suggestion for quite some time. She has no idea that in the middle of the process, the girl’s deepening closeness with YN has reached its breaking point when one night, as Nayeon quickly heads to her room to sleep, still uncomfortable with YN’s presence with the girls, some of the already drunk members become lost in control with their actions.

It also drove YN’s eagerness to emerge with the girls sudden flirts, skinship, and teasing about luscious stuff, which includes the wonders of their bodies. The remaining members who were awake are Sana, Jihyo, and Jeongyeon, while the rest were now lights out from alcohol. The last laugh was let out by Jihyo until she watched drunk Sana kiss YN’s cheek in an instant.

They both locked eyes for a second until Sana brought YN’s head again to hers, in which he submits. Jeongyeon, who is sitting on the side of YN, felt hot at the scene and is in need of this hot guy’s equal attention as well. She brought his hand between her legs, and YN separated his lips from Sana in surprise when he found something wet in his touch.

He gazed at Jeongyeon, who has this needy look on her face. Realizing what she had done, he kissed her as well. Their lips battling as his fingers become active by rubbing her clothed pussy, which had Jeongyeon mix the sounds of their make-out with a moan. 

Sana starts to give pecks around YN’s arms and neck to get some of her own. Jihyo is now turned on by what she’s watching; she removed her pants and reached for her horny slit to give it its own fun. She synchronized it with your movements along Jeongyeon’s.

Sana starts to undo her shirt, revealing her purple bra. YN sensed something fluffy in his arm, her breasts pressing on his skin. He glanced down at it and looked at Sana before kissing her and pinning her on the couch while Jeongyeon removed her own clothing as well to officially join the session and help Jihyo as well.

YN takes off his shirt and throws it elsewhere. Sana bit her lip as she caressed his well-built torso before kissing him again and locking her legs as YN grinds his bulge on her pussy. Meanwhile, Jeongyeon ate Jihyo’s pussy while Jihyo attended to her tits. Both of them were now on pair to help each other out to taste the pleasure they desire.

YN saw what Jeongyeon and Jihyo were doing on the other side, borrowed the idea to pull down Sana’s shorts, and unveiled her soaking wet panties. Pulling it down, he exposed it, and Sana didn’t waste any time to push his head down to her desperate hole. Jihyo and Sana couldn’t contain their moans now as both their partners teamed up to reach their respective climax.

Jeongyeon and YN both got squirted in the face. As they rest for a while, the two who offered oral service went to become busy with one another first. They stood up and let Jihyo and Sana watch them making out in front of them before Jeongyeon kneels and tugs his boxers down.

His cock sprang free from its constraints, Jeongyeon awed at its size, even Sana and Jihyo also. It made their pussies ache in attention, but unfortunately the stunning MILF-looking goddess has the first-class ticket right now to have this experience. Jeongyeon poured kisses along its length, held it from the base, and began stroking it slowly.

She smirks as she watches YN huffing in pleasure. It was until his eyes flicker in lust when he felt Jeongyeon’s mouth around the tip and glides through his girth. His hand guided her head as she proceeded bobbing her head down to his crotch.

As Jeongyeon tried to deepthroat him multiple times, she lets go and coughs a little. Sana and Jihyo pulled him back to the couch. As he sat, all three of them were now kneeling between his lap, and something incredible happened afterwards. 

Sana went to suck on his balls, while Jeongyeon rubs her tongue on the left side of your cock and Jihyo on the other. Their combined service made YN lost in paradise. YN could just lay his head back and sigh in relaxation, feeling all of their talented mouths worshipping his gifted manhood.

He told them he’s cumming and they saw that with the way it twitches. Jeongyeon did the stroking while Jihyo and Sana played each of his testicles. One last shout of curse, and Jeongyeon points his cock at their faces just at the right time for him to erupt with thick cum splattering across their head, nose and anywhere around their face.

They went to grab a scoop and each shoved it down to taste, in which it clearly didn’t disappointed them at all at how they suck it in and swallowed without any problem. Sana sipped an impending drop of cum from the slit of his tip which made it twitch at its ticklish feeling.

The four of them then head on to fuck each others brains out for three hours based on how they read on the clock after they finished. They’ve used every area around the living room to switch positions with YN in which he lets out a performance that the girls were highly impressed about, as it wouldn’t made them even believe that the innocent-looking buff introverted guy like him could move like this while sex.

Jeongyeon was eaten out by Sana in reverse cowgirl while YN stands beside him to have his cock sucked and Jihyo playing with her tits from behind. He then placed her in a mating missionary before splashing his load to her spent body.

Jihyo’s tits were mashes and drilled in accordance to her initiation to fuck YN’s cock using her massive breasts. She was also put 

into standing one-legged in the middle of the carpet with one of her tits being grabbed by his hands while her clit is being stimulated by Jeongyeon.

Sana was pounded and have her tits mauled by YN by being pressed over a wall while Jeongyeon and Jihyo ate one another in a 69 position on the couch. They then joined them afterwards as YN backshots her with her face and mouth swapping on Jeongyeon and Jihyo’s tits. And lastly, YN was laid on the carpet wide open and the girls commanded him to multitask by making them feel good all at once. Sana rode his left hand, her eyes rolling backward at the feeling of his slender fingers wiggling at her walls. Jihyo was moaning and whimpering in awe as she savored YN’s tongue going active around the areas of her pussy, sitting and blocking his ears with her thighs. Jeongyeon was on the bottom, focused on making YN cums as she did all her best to blowjob his raging hard cock, now red from plenty of strokes and sucks it took.

It went on until he fired his last load like a fountain, splashing down at his abs. Every one of them dive at his skin and he moaned at their tongues gliding at his slimy skin to avoid wasting such delicious cum. They all collapsed on the floor and rest for a little before they called it a night.

ACT 4

The next morning, the four of them were too knocked out from the lengthy session they created last night through the influence of alcohol that they ended up all sleeping on the couch. Fortunately, it was Chaeyoung and Momo who woke up earlier and busted their naked sight on the floor. As they woke them up, embarrassment poured through their selves to snap their senses and cover themselves in front of their friends.

Chaeyoung and Momo promised not to tell it to others, especially Nayeon, as they fear she might crash out once she finds out. They did owe them one favor, though. When they asked, they said they wanted to get some as well of YN after marveling a while ago at his morningwood exposed while he was sleeping, lying above his hard abs.

It turned them on and flirted with YN to have him submit to the desire along. He had no choice but to accept. Later in the afternoon, while Nayeon was out running some errands for the company, Chaeyoung and Momo invited YN to have sex with them to prevent making a scent or stain in their shared bedroom.

YN witnessed them willingly kneeling or being crushed along the tiles just so he could fuck them as rough as they liked in each of their holes. Some sperm were washed away by the water; some are kept secured in their tummy as they swallow it for an appetite. After that, they all rubbed their bodies together to add some lustful ways of them taking a bath.

It can’t be avoided that they paid more attention to cleaning their respective erogenous zones. Chaeyoung jacked his cock while his hands were fingering her pussy and the other were on Momo’s mighty pair of bosoms. They all exit together, both in exhaustion and pleased at the newfound source of affection and kind of relationship they must have.

Dahyun and Mina joined the fray not too long after when they also got informed about their thing with YN. Despite being too overwhelmed to gather such fine women like them all by himself which makes him conflicted how did he deserved this from the beginning, the temptation is irresistable. They claimed a bedroom for themselves to fuck through whole afternoon when Nayeon had a schedule, and nobody knows about this outside the group except Nayeon.

Meanwhile, the clueless woman kept hearing great things about YN that she couldn’t deny that it’s starting to get her invested. Whenever she looked at him entertaining the guys in a normal bonding, she felt lighter inside and couldn’t hide a smile that crept on her lips. This doesn’t mean it brings her only good, but there are also instances where he finds it hard to ignore.

He told her once that she’s beautiful when she asked him how she looks as she attends an event hosted by one of the brands she is made as an ambassador. It made her blush, and somehow the way he said it makes her want to just hear it again. She loved it more when she got complimented without being forced, but his is way different.

She also began to do late-night chats with him whenever she was bored. It also surprises her that she allows him to talk about his hobbies for her to try and share. When she did, YN was there to join her whenever they had the free time to do so, and every time they spent together was so fun.

Or also that particular scenario when YN was being teased by her co-members about the possibility of asking him if there’s a chance to claim his heart and be their boyfriend. They’ve become so comfortable in his company that whatever bold thing they say irritates Nayeon, and as she snapped, it made the girls, including him, confused.

“Eh, maybe it’s her day today. Typical women on their period.” Jeongyeon rolled her eyes.

It had so much effect on Nayeon that when it came to him and her alone, she still continued sulking for whatever reason. That is, until YN just simply comforted her with a hug and a pat to her head to wish her well faster. She ran back to her room and repeatedly punched her pillow in aggression.

“What are you doing to me, YN?” She asked herself with a crumpled face after rubbing herself around the pillow as she slammed it.

One day in a mall, YN had to accompany Nayeon on her shopping as her manager was currently unavailable due to being sick. In his surprise, the person they’ll be joining with is none other than the two other people along with her that also brought trauma to his past: Yeri and Jennie. Nayeon reintroduces him to them, and they greet him while in shock at his new appearance.

Nayeon observes how YN is becoming distant to them despite their attempts to be calm interacting with him. They just let out a quick apology for what they have done to him even if they didn’t receive an answer back. Nayeon excused them for a while as she checked up on YN.

“You need some space. We can manage ourselves.”

“No, Nayeon, I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. I’ve seen you shaking and stepping away from them; that’s why I do us a favor to make them leave you alone.”

“You don’t have to do that. They must be hurt seeing you acting like you care more than me—”

“If they do, then let them be! I don’t care what they might think; I do care for you.” Nayeon shuts him up. YN could only view her agitated mood.

“I may be in your protection,, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get to check on you as well. I know it’s still difficult, and I’m here to guide you with it.” Nayeon said. “Take this as my way of redeeming myself. I caused all of this, so I I might as well fixt. I’m here as your friend now, YN.” 

YN felt his wrists held by Nayeon as she stared at her softly. He thinks this might be it; it has reached the point that Nayeon has done enough to reconsider his issues about her. A hatchet to bury, and the only way to end this is for him to be open just like her for a new beginning, hopefully where nobody, especially him, will be hurt again.

“A… A friend?”

“Why? D-did I… say it sooner? ” Nayeon asked him. “Oh, I know. Y-you still haven’t—”

“Yeah.”

Nayeon’s heart sank.

“I can be your friend now too.”

Her eyes lit up, and she slowly grew a smile at his response. She finally got him to accept her again, and this time she has no intention of fumbling the opportunity again.

“You scared me, you know?” She slapped him on the arm, which made him laugh. “But seriously, I’m glad that we are now in peace.”

“Me too.” He nodded. “Are you sure you’ll be fine with them?”

“We will, but I won’t stop you from keeping your eyes on us from time to time. We might still need it.” 

“I will. It’s my job and my responsibility, Nayeon. Both as a bodyguard and your friend to keep you safe.”

Nayeon blushed and shook her head. “You’re so corny. I’ll go back with them now.”

As she watched you enter a store to buy something, Yeri and Jennie regrouped with her. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah. He must not have been able to get over it yet, but I calmed him down.”

“I actually feel bad for him. Knowing how much he improved today, I couldn’t believe that we’d treated him horribly.” Jennie frowned as they watched him order at the cashier.

“Regret is always at the end, as they say.” Nayeon sighed. “But I’m here now, and I’ll do everything to make sure his perspective of us won’t be similar as before. I’ll be there by his side often if it requires me to make him feel happy.”

“You’re right, even though you kind of sound like…. Hmm, Yeri side-eyed Jennie, who seems to get what she’s pointing at.

“That I like him? There’s no denial with that.” Nayeon looked at them seriously and with pure confidence. It made Jennie and Yeri dumbfounded.

“W-what? You do?”

“It’s crazy, but yeah, I can’t believe I’ll live to this timeline where I’m saying that I feel more than just a friend for that bulky brainiac,” Nayeon said as she glanced back at YN, who suddenly rotated his head and searched for Nayeon. As their eyes met, his smile made the latter develop butterflies in her stomach.

“Yeah, I do love him.” She confirmed it in her mind, which has been occupied by him every single day.

ACT 5

Nayeon continued to admire YN in secret. Due to his tame personality, it was easy for her to insert attempts where she began to send signs to him. The girls suspiciously take her actions with another meaning, as they know the difference in how Nayeon can be playful in a childish manner. It didn’t take her long to reveal her crush on him and to support and respect their friend’s admiration for YN; they easily stopped their fling with him since he won’t mind it anyway and takes it as a way to reduce boredom or stress like them.

While Nayeon is playing with her dolls while taking a break from her phone, Jeongyeon opened up a conversation with her out of the blue. “You look like you’ve lost your sanity, Nayeon. You miss YN so much, don’t you? ”

Nayeon blushed; she turned at her and adorably pouted. “Yeah.”

Jeongyeon chuckled at her and gazed at her disgustingly. “Eurgh, don’t make that face. Poor you, only he can’t make you behave like a grumpy grandma, huh? The once cold Im Nayeon is now melting for YN LN. How the tables have turned.”

“Yeah, yeah, tease me, whatever you want. You seem like you can’t find anything to do also, making me your victim again.” Nayeon rolled her eyes. “Try harder next time than using the ‘me being head over heels for YN” card on repeat.

“Chill, and please, don’t try me. You won’t like it when I use another.”

“Oh and what’s that?”

“You’ll see, why would I unveil my tricks too early. You’re no fun.”

“Coming from you?”

“Tch.” Jeongyeon slapped her thigh. “By the way, I just wanna ask. I know we proved you wrong about YN, but… what led you with the change of heart for him? Sorry if I had to, it’s just that… we were just a bit taken aback at how you suddenly went from being against him to being so into him.”

“I didn’t expect that I’ll be like this for him. I don’t know, he changed me with the way he’s just being true to himself on you, to the girls, and to me. I was so against of the idea of being close with him after what happened to us- but I couldn’t help it. I don’t want to admit this at first but… I realized how handsome and cute he is when I just look at him loving what he does and staying at what he really is.”

“Oh yeah, now that you brought that topic back, you haven’t told us yet about your past with him.” 

Nayeon became dead silent listening to Jeongyeon as the fear of guilt builds up within her. “What do you two have before? Were you both former mutuals?”

“N-no, that’s even way impossible to assume from what we had before.” A stutter slipped from Nayeon’s lowering voice.

“Then what is it? He was once your-”

“Jeongyeon, I wasn’t the type who would fell to complete weirdos like him.” Nayeon sighed. “He’s just my classmate before.”

“Then why didn’t you like him that much?”

“Like I said, he left when I needed him.” Nayeon stated. She gulped, knowing that she was about to spill the darkest truth she has been hiding from anybody. “Jeong, you’ve been my bestfriend for more than a decade. Could you promise me that you’ll try to listen and understand what I’m about to say?”

“Uhh… okay? That sounds scary but… go on.” Jeongyeon fixed her sitting posture.

“Alright.” Nayeon breathed heavily before proceeding. “I was a bad person before… and YN, he’s been there to feel what it’s like to be on my wrath. Jeong- I… I bullied him before.”

Jeongyeon’s brows met in disbelief. “Nayeon… why?”

“We know he has an isolated, introverted type of personality, but… there’s more to that. I made him a lot worse than what you think. I was the reason why he’s so preserved and… frightened to be around people.”

“Nayeon, what did you do?” Jeongyeon asked her disappointedly. “Seriously, I didn’t think you could do that. What did YN ever do to you?”

“That’s why I was blaming to myself still these days, Jeong! I picked him for nothing more than being a weak coward kid. But… when he begged me to stop, I saw something in him that I can use to grant his request… in one condition: I want him to work for me.”

Nayeon’s shame continues to rise inside of her. “YN was a brilliant student in our class, hell even in the entire campus, he’s the best. My academic performance was bad, that’s why an idea came to me that I should make him serve for me if he doesn’t want any harm-”

“That’s it. Enough with the cruelty you just did to him.” Jeongyeon sounded pissed, and Nayeon leaned away. “Skip and go straight to the point, what made you think that he did that to you?”

“YN stopped studying. When he left, I didn’t know what I do. I tried searching for others who can replace him but there’s nobody compared to him. I only got saved when JYPE had an agreement in my campus that I’ll be only attending limited classes from now on as a trainee. If I wasn’t, I would’ve gotten failed grades and my parents would be mad at me. They won’t allow me to chase for my dream as an idol if I did.”

“Good grief, Nayeon… how could you do that to him?” Jeongyeon shockingly asked her.

“I wasn’t thinking right back then. All I ever was is a delinquent arrogant student who wants to pick with the weak. That’s why I held that hatred in me for years until I saw him again.

But I was just strucked at how much he has changed. When I learned that he was looking for a job, I used it to have him under my power and get back at him this time in revenge.”

“So… you’ve been using YN all along? That’s why he ended up with the company and with us?”

“Y-yes.” Nayeon only nodded sadly and Jeongyeon groaned. 

“How dare you, Nayeon? Haven’t you’ve done enough to him?”

The door of their bedroom suddenly opened, and in their astonishment, YN barged inside, his face was blank and somewhat menacing. Nayeon shuddered when she felt his intimidating gaze from him. Jeongyeon though, weren’t expecting that he would come to their dorm to visit tonight, as she shared the look with Nayeon like a deer got caught by a headlight in the middle of the road.

“Was it true?” YN asked in a deep tone.

They all went silent for a second, Nayeon is having trouble to open her mouth, contemplating on what she should say.

“Answer the damn question!” YN’s voice raised. Nayeon winced at the outburst.

“Y-YN… it doesn’t matter. It was just in the-”

“Don’t bullshit me, Nayeon. Was that true?” He growled which made both the girls terrified of his character shift. 

Nayeon is cornered. It’s all over that the only person she never wanted for any of these to learn for has already heard their conversation loud and clear. She closed her eyes, preparing to face the consequences now that she has fucked up bigtime.

“Y-yes…”

YN stared at her, his lips twitched and closes his eyes. Stepping back from the door, the tension of the room is suffocating. He then hurriedly walked away and it alarmed Nayeon and Jeongyeon, including the rest of the girls who saw him lose his temper.

Nayeon immediately stood up from her bed. She ran outside of her room and asked her co-members where he went. They didn’t know but they reported that he left the dorm.

She went to his room next and repeatedly knocked the door. His roommate who is also their bodyguard appeared instead. “Oh, uhm Miss Im? What brings you here?”

“Is YN there?”

“No, he hasn’t returned yet. But he told me that he’s going to your dorm. You didn’t see-”

“Okay thank you.” Nayeon bowed at the guy who was left puzzled. She then rushed to use the elevator to search for YN. As she reached the lobby, she noticed that it’s raining heavily outside.

From the door, she caught the sight of YN forcing himself to get out as the driver tries his best to restrict him. Nayeon didn’t mind if she’ll got soaked, all that’s important for her right now is to talk with YN. He left the estate, and the guard confusingly watched Nayeon escape also in the middle of the rain.

Nayeon used all the stamina she has left, until she shouted his name and sprung him around with his shoulder. “YN, please listen to me first. Let me explain.”

“So that’s what it is after all this time?” YN looked at her devastatingly. “We’re going back to the past that I thought you and I wanted to forget. Yet you did it again, you befriended me again so that you can use me for your own benefit?!”

Nayeon fell quiet at his rants. She knows she has no defense to use here. What she can only do is to take all of his words into her guilty sinful soul.

“I’m sorry if I had to do it, YN. I know I’ve wronged again, but I did stopped it, I swear. You changed me when you’ve shown me how good of a friend you can really be that I’ve never realized when we were young before.”

“That won’t change the fact that you manipulated me just to be here right now, Nayeon. You made me think I earned it all, when in reality I was just being handed only for free because again, you have the power in your grasp.” You shook her head in dismay. “So everything that I just heard from you, the thought that you and I were now in good terms, that was all a lie?”

“No, YN. I discarded my plan at the start and I had to keep it from you, because I know it’ll hurt you if you knew.”

“Ironic of you to worry about what I feel when you’ve been taking me for granted since way back ago.” YN presented himself with a slight spread of arms before dropping them back to his side. “I’m not just crumbling down after I learned about the darkest truth of this real you. I’m filled with so much hatred and rage facing you closer right now!.” His fists clenched as he gritted his teeth in the middle of those words.

Nayeon frowned and avoided the gaze that screams anguish. 

“What makes you say that you have changed? What other lie you wanted me to believe in and make myself fool at?”

“I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU!” Nayeon shouted as she broke down in tears that is being masked instead by the raindrops. “All those times we spent together, getting to explore ourselves more. I felt your sincerity, and I listened to the girls and gave it attempt. Now I just couldn’t help it but to think about you because whatever you do to me, it makes me feel bad that you don’t know what I’m actually doing to you.

And when I knew it was wrong, I simply scratched that idea and began treating you legitimately as my friend, until it evolved where I find myself to adore everything about you that I wished I could’ve cherished before. What I’ve said to you recently, I meant it all with my heart.”

She stepped closer and cupped YN’s face with her hands. “I need you with me. If I was your punisher back then, let me be your savior and redeem myself in our another encounter. For real, this time. I want you to be appreciated and to be loved.”

The way he shiver in his touch and how his face contorts had Nayeon feel apologetic for everything she has done even more. For the first time, the vulnerability of him was there for him to witness, the amount of pain he has in store for years was poured for her to see the mess she had caused.

“How can I trust you again, Nayeon?” He said shakily. “How can you make me love you?” 

Nayeon’s heart shattered, but it didn’t hold her back to kiss him on the lips. Another tears escaped in her eyes by that single sentence she already expected to hear but would feel a lot better for her to receive the opposite, to push her more to do things right for him. As she let go, YN stares at her wearily.

“I was starting to like you as well. I even accepted this new version of you.” He held her hands. “You betrayed me not once but twice. I may have forgiven you, I did… but after all of these, I feel like I made a mistake for giving you a second chance.” 

Nayeon shook her head as she repeatedly mumbles the word “No… please.”

“How stupid was I for me to repent when I should never forget everything what you’ve done to me. You ruined my dreams, you showed no mercy when I needed it the most. You almost let my brother die and my mom desperate to collect money for his hospital bills. All because of how privileged and self-absorbed you are.”

Nayeon felt her arms sweeped away from him. He widened their gap, as he just looked at Nayeon emotionless. Nayeon just watched him in horror after she remember what led him to stop his studies, the one favor he asked that she rejected.

“It has come to my mind that our past will never be a water under the bridge for me. You just have to forget whatever what we had, it all won’t happen from the start if you haven’t stabbed me in the back and pretend just to gain something from me. From now on, I would be very grateful if I never see you face again. I want to be far away from you.I don’t need love from someone like you.”

He stepped forward and stared at her intensely which had her frozen.

“And for the record, I never got to do this in front of your face but I’m just fulfilling what I should’ve done to stood up for myself.

“I hate you.” He sharply said before he left Nayeon in the middle of the rain sobbing her tears as she still tries to call for his presence, saying “Wait” and “Please, don’t go” before the guard saw her and provided her an umbrella to shade on.

The next day, YN made an abrupt decision to leave the company and resign as their bodyguard in just months for personal matter, breaking every TWICE members’ hearts especially Nayeon who is already harboring feelings for him. The members were there to notice her concerning condition every day. She would be either locked in her room, skipping meals, looking disheveled and out of consciousness.

The girls have tried to contact YN in which he didn’t answer at any at first until he decided to do it when Mina was the one who met up with her. They all learned about what happened and clarified that even them have no idea about Nayeon’s plan and their friendship with YN was true. Despite the pleads and advice by Mina to settle their problem with Nayeon, he had enough of it and he doesn’t want to be associated with him again.

Months later, TWICE is still going on with their careers, they’ve also found a new bodyguard which makes them still think that YN was a better fitting one. With the assistance of a psychiatrist and her friends, Nayeon is slowly recovering from depression even though she believe she doesn’t deserve to be pitied.. She also found out that YN has concluded that she has no interest to make amends with her despite the girls’ persuasion. Although it hurts her, at least she’s content and relieved that he’s still good with the other members.

Nayeon is lined up on a cotton candy stall for her friends Yeri and Jennie who are waiting on a bench when in her surprise, she saw a glimpse of YN handing a food to a woman he’s together with, seemingly having a date. As their eyes accidentally met, he just ignored her like she was nothing and they went to find another spot. 

With all the coping she had in order to move on, accept, and willingly suffer for months after YN disappeared in her life again, it all went on full effect as for the last time Nayeon had to watch YN rebuilt the life he once tried to improve, now with somebody that is probably a hundred times better than her to love. She could only imagine in sorrow and envy how wonderful it would’ve been to receive pure love from him, because in this world:.. they’re destined to lose each other forever.

For Nayeon, he will always be her what if, a wasted priority, and the one who got away.

It had reflecting to her that the nightmare he suffered through are all combined karmas coming back to her she has no right to complain of. Perhaps its the only solution, he could only live in freedom if she got erased from existence in his life.

===ooo===

[suunani]

mine to hold ( choi seungcheol )

▍ seungcheol gets jealous and want to claims you.

content : 1200 words, male reader, added member!reader, fluff fluff fluff, boyfriend!cheol, jealous!cheol, requested here!

the rehearsal room was alive with its usual chaos.

music pounding, the sound of sneakers squeaking against the polished floor, and laughter echoing as the members ran through another grueling practice session.

sweat dripped down your forehead as you completed the last move of the routine, panting slightly as the song ended.

“alright, five-minute break!” hoshi called, clapping his hands before flopping down onto the floor.

the members scattered to grab water or stretch, the room falling into a buzz of idle chatter.

you leaned back against the mirrored wall, wiping sweat from your brow as seungcheol handed you a water bottle.

“you okay?” he asked, his voice soft but steady.

his hand found its usual spot on the small of your back, the warmth of his touch grounding you.

“i’m good,” you replied, taking a long sip. “tired, but good.”

he hummed, his eyes scanning your face as if checking for any signs that you might be overexerting yourself. it was such a seungcheol thing to do — always worrying, always protective.

you appreciated it, though sometimes his concern bordered on overbearing.

“i’ll be fine,” you added, leaning into his touch for a moment. “promise.”

seungcheol nodded but didn’t look entirely convinced. his hand lingered on your back as you both stood there, watching the other members joke around or sprawl out on the floor.

then, a voice called your name from across the room.

you turned to see a small group of backup dancers waving you over. one of them, a tall guy with bright eyes and an easy smile, motioned you closer.

“hey, can we ask you something about the routine?”

you glanced at seungcheol, who was already watching them with a wary expression.

“i’ll be right back,” you said, squeezing his arm before walking toward the dancers.

he didn’t respond, but his hand slipped reluctantly from your back, leaving a cold spot where it had been.

seungcheol stayed where he was, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. his sharp eyes tracked your every movement, his gaze narrowing slightly as he watched you laugh at something one of the dancers said.

“you’re gonna give yourself wrinkles if you keep glaring like that,” jeonghan teased, sliding up beside him.

“i’m not glaring,” seungcheol muttered, though the tension in his shoulders said otherwise.

jeonghan raised an eyebrow.

“sure you’re not. you look like you’re ready to march over there and pull y/n away by the hand.”

seungcheol’s jaw tightened. “maybe i should.”

jeonghan chuckled, clearly entertained.

“you do realize y/n isn’t doing anything wrong, right? he’s just being friendly. that’s how he’s always been.”

“yeah, i know,” seungcheol grumbled. “it’s not him i’m worried about. it’s them.”

jeonghan followed his gaze to the dancers.

one of them was standing a little too close for comfort, leaning in as if to catch every word you said. another reached out, laughing as they lightly touched your arm.

“okay,” jeonghan admitted. “i see your point. but you’re still overreacting.”

seungcheol didn’t respond, his eyes narrowing further when one of the dancers leaned down to whisper something to you. you laughed, completely oblivious to the way your boyfriend was fuming just a few feet away.

then you finally made your way back to seungcheol, you could feel the tension radiating off him like a heatwave.

“hey,” you greeted, brushing your damp hair back as you sat down beside him. “im back.”

“having fun?” he asked, his tone deceptively calm.

you blinked, confused. “yeah, i guess. why?”

his jaw clenched, and he tilted his head toward the dancers.

“you sure seemed to be enjoying yourself over there.”

“cheol, what are you talking about?” you asked, your brows furrowing.

he sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“why do you have to be so nice to everyone?”

you stared at him for a moment, trying to piece together where this was coming from.

“i’m not being nice. i’m just… talking to them. what’s the big deal?”

“the big deal,” he said, his voice dropping slightly. “is that they’re not just talking to you. they’re flirting.”

you opened your mouth to protest, but he didn’t give you the chance.

“you don’t see it,” he continued, his frustration bubbling over. “the way they look at you. the way they stand so close. it’s like they think they have a chance with you.”

realization dawned on you, and your lips parted in surprise. “wait… are you jealous?”

“i’m not jealous,” he shot back quickly, though the defensive edge in his voice betrayed him. “i just don’t like people crossing boundaries.”

a slow smile spread across your face.

“oh, you are so jealous.”

“y/n,” he warned, but the blush creeping up his neck gave him away.

“cheol,” you said, your tone softening as you leaned in closer. “you know you’re the only one i care about, right? no one else even comes close.”

his shoulders relaxed slightly, though he still looked unconvinced.

“you’re too trusting,” he muttered. “not everyone has innocent intentions.”

“and that’s why i have you,” you teased, wrapping your arms around his neck. “to scare away anyone who tries.”

a reluctant smile tugged at his lips, and he finally let himself lean into you, his arms encircling your waist.

“you think i’m scary?”

“terrifying,” you replied, grinning.

“good,” he said, his voice low and possessive. “let them be scared. maybe then they’ll back off.”

before you could respond, someone groaned loudly from across the room.

“can you two stop being gross for five seconds?” seungkwan whined, throwing a towel in your direction.

the rest of the members snickered, and even seungcheol couldn’t hold back a laugh as he caught the towel midair.

the break ended, and everyone returned to their positions for another run-through.

but seungcheol wasn’t done yet.

throughout the practice, he was extra touchy — his hand on your hips or lower back when he adjusted your posture, his arm slung casually over your waist during quick water breaks.

it wasn’t unusual for him to be affectionate, but today, it just felt… different.

“cheol, i think everyone’s watching,” you whispered as he leaned in to fix the collar of your shirt, his fingers lingering just a moment too long.

“let them watch,” he murmured, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. “maybe then they’ll get the message.”

you bit back a laugh, shaking your head. “you’re really unbelievable, you know that?”

“and you’re mine,” he said simply, his eyes locking onto yours.

by the time rehearsal ended, you were both exhausted but in high spirits.

as you packed up your things, you felt seungcheol’s arm snake around your waist once more, pulling you close.

“come on,” he said, his voice softer now. “let’s grab some dinner before we head back.”

“sounds good,” you replied, leaning into his side.

as you walked out together, you couldn’t help but notice the lingering looks from some of the dancers. but this time, instead of getting annoyed, you just smiled to yourself.

let them watch, you thought.

seungcheol’s arm tightened around you, as if he’d read your mind.

because at the end of the day, you knew exactly where you belonged. and so did he.

[prael]

Delicacy

ILLIT Moka x male reader smut

Happy (kinda late) Moka Day!

Masterlist word count: 5,401 Kofi(donations/commissions)

"Ladies and-a gen-entleman! Step right up! Ge-get yourself a-a mystical item today!" The old Murgo's voice is loud, his tone is jovial. His accent is hard to understand and his stuttering speech patterns would indicate a man who is not well-educated, though you've always expected he puts it all on for show.

His skin is scruffy, full of moles and unkempt facial hair that creeps down to his thin neck. The elderly man's uniform consists of a long, purple-sleeved coat—sleeves that fall every time he waves an arm at the next item he tries to flog.

"Y-you sir! Consider this, this is truly a-a magical mirror, for as long as you lo-look into it, it will make you b-beautiful." He smiles at the group before him, pearly white teeth contrasting with his murky skin colour. They are the only noteworthy things about him, other than his height, a whole foot smaller than the usual man.

The rough-looking labourer by your side mumbles, "What a crock of shit!"

While the bald man at the front calls "I'll take it!"

Murgo, as Murgo so often does, announces the catch, "Very wise pu-purchase. Now, just remember, the m-magic only works if you look a-at in complete darkness."

Murgo collects his due payment and the man at your side shakes his head as he turns away. "Idiots," he grumbles before he walks away.

"You there!" Murgo singles you out. "Do you fancy trying a-anything?" He asks you with a smile.

Murgo's entire stall is packed full of oddities, and none of them are ever what they seem. You may not believe in Murgo's little items, but it's always interesting to come and see what he has to sell today. It's nice to consider his fantastical excuses and embellishments.

"M-may I interest you in a fan-antasy?" He sing-songs. "You must ha-have a wish to make come true? Consider this ma-magical music box! One wish! M-Make it come true!" He boasts about another silly item, something that always leaves you rolling your eyes. Wishes cannot be bought.

"Tha-that's a look of uncertainty. Well, how about this." Murgo holds out a hand containing a single chocolate. A perfect, colourful item shaped like a square. "Gen-entleman, please m-may I present, a most magical item to y-your attention! A chocolate! Bu-but not any chocolate! They say this one tastes of m-mocha, and its ingestion a-allows you to live a fantasy."

You scrunch your brow.

"Ingested fantasies might seem an im-impossibility, but I have p-proven through a rigorous scientific process..."

You know he's lying, as always, but you're not about to interrupt though. You doubt the old man actually has much training in anything even related to science, and everything about him can only lead you to believe that he doesn't own many resources to test things on anyway.

"...so, sir, I urge you!" Murgo finishes his meaningless rambling by saying, "Try and taste your fondest dream. Try the ma-magical wonder and live a dream so real, so plausible that y-you'll forget who you are!"

Live a dream so real... He's definitely lying, but you are curious as to the taste of his chocolate.

Your eyes switch from Murgo's insistent, excited stare to his chocolate, and back to Murgo's knowing smile. "Just this once," you tell him.

-

You sit at your kitchen table, staring at the little rectangular block that rests on the wood.

"A fantasy, huh?" you contemplate. You lean in close and give it a sniff; it certainly smells like chocolate, with a hint of mocha.

Shrugging, you hold up the chocolate and drop it into your mouth. Immediately, it melts away and you're overpowered by the delicious flavour. It's milk chocolate, but you find hints of cocoa and coffee mixed between your lips.

You chew a few times and then swallow. At that moment, Murgo's words ring around your mind. 'Live a dream so real,' they repeat.

You sit and you wait. Staring expectantly at the table, you blink blankly at the slab where the chocolate once rested. You tap your fingers. You scratch the back of your neck. And still, nothing.

"Wow." You shake your head, chastising yourself for thinking so optimistically, and push out the chair.

As you stand, your head spins. The world about you warps into another form, a dark space resembling nothing you have ever seen.

The ground crunches beneath your feet. Gravel, perhaps? Black grazes at the surface, but you can't quite make out any details. As if a curtain has fallen to obscure your vision.

You spin around and wave your hands to find a purchase with something.

And then you feel it. Feel... her?

Small, smooth hands in your own. They let go before too long, and then those hands brush up your forearms.

A shadowed girl—clearly a girl by her soft curves—gently touches your cheek, and you grab her hand again. A soft gasp escapes her, and then she giggles. "Do you know how hard it's been, to be stuck inside a piece of chocolate? Of course, you don't. Why would you?"

This... isn't real. Could you be dreaming? Could you be high, or drunk, or passed out? Perhaps poisoned? You bring your fingers to your face to ensure you're not gushing blood or anything odd. Nope, normal. Completely and utterly normal, so... what the hell?

She whispers as her fingers move along the waistband of your pants, "Did you like the taste of the chocolate? Of... Moka?" She laughs. "My name is Moka, do you understand? Mocha and Moka!"

She has the cutest laugh. Soft, genuine, and one that leaves you smiling. Smiling? You ask yourself what you're doing and how you possibly ended up with some mysterious woman pawing your crotch. Regardless, you answer.

"Yeah," you say, her laugh encouraging you to express honesty. "Definitely not a bad product at all."

"Of course not!" Moka cheers. You catch a glimpse of a smile in the shadows that surround her. "After all, I was made with all the finest ingredients to give a taste that absolutely anyone can enjoy! And you're no exception, are you?" Moka's weight presses against you, and she leans close to your ear to murmur, "This little bump in your pants proves that."

You let out a sharp breath, but no denial. Moka may be shrouded in darkness, but you don't have trouble appreciating her presence. You can feel the warmth from her body, her rounded breasts that are all too tempting to touch.

"I'm so confused..." you whisper.

"Good." With the utterance of one word, you see the brightness of a smile. How wonderful and expressive her face is. The darkness clears and the mystery goes with it. The girl in front of you can only be described as utterly breathtaking. She's wearing this smile that turns up a little more on one side of her mouth than the other, and you're absolutely enchanted by its beauty. There's this beauty mark on her nose, such a cute mole. And then her eyes... you could very happily lose yourself within them.

"So incredibly confused," you repeat, and watch with fascination as a lock of her dark hair slips past a black strip and over her flushed cheek.

Moka kisses you. A gentle, testing peck, but there's no time for timid, because she pounces, and suddenly you're drowning under her affection. Kissing her like this is all you can think about, and the way she tangles her small tongue around your own is wildly erotic, both innocent and sinful at the same time.

You are too complacent, but then Moka brings her body flush against yours. You don't know where she came from, you have no idea why she's here and what's going on, but your body is certainly not questioning that right now. Her lithe form under your touch is as smooth as the chocolate she came from.

"Take me," she all but purrs, "It's what I'm here for."

"But you're..."

"Not real? A fantasy? Exactly. That's all the reason you need to let go," she whispers and there is a clarity that brings her words like truth.

Real or not, you can't deny it. You want her, this exotic enigma. You tug her close, fingers tracing a curve, your lips following a line. Her body, her skin, you adore her. Every facet, every inch, you crave her. You take hold of Moka and lift her, she lets out the gentlest of squeaks but instantly wraps her legs around you, and just the sound and feeling of her draws a shudder out of you.

"I spent months in Murgo's storage, just waiting for someone like you. Every single day growing more and more frustrated as I waited. You can't imagine being that pent up, can you?"

She's taking off your shirt. Impatiently running her hands down your torso, like she can't get enough. You stumble until you plant her against the wall, holding her firm and kissing her with all the frustration she feels, biting and sucking and leaving her breathless.

Moka wraps her arms around your neck, curling her heels, pulling you close.

"I can't imagine it, but you don't have to wait for another second though." You squeeze at her taut thighs, making her whimper with delight.

"Taste me," she whispers and you take your lips to her neck. It's not exactly what she has in mind, but she knows it's inevitable. All roads lead between her thighs.

So you fall to your knees before her. Hands up her thighs, driving up the frills of her skirt. She's a delicacy, soft and pink, beautiful, just waiting to be savoured. And the moment your lips touch the inside of her thigh, she gasps, one palm smacking the wall behind her. The tension, the excitement, the breathless little whimpers that escape her, every little thing, has you completely engrossed.

The whole time you press a barrage of kisses against her thighs, moving closer to her core with each passing second, but the light, teasing kisses draw a litany of frustration out of her.

"P-please..." Moka whimpers.

The breath from her plea leaves her in a shudder. She huffs, already trembling. You test how wet she is with your fingers, feeling her damp warmth, her sticky arousal coating your digits. You're unable to resist running your fingertips up the folds of her pussy, using the natural slickness to help move, dancing around her clit and drawing cries from the breathless girl. Her pleasure is plain to see, the rising blush reaching her chest and the deep breaths escaping her.

You slide a single finger inside her, then quickly two, slowly finger fucking her pretty pink, twisting around and feeling her wrap around you.

"You like it?" you murmur and it's not like you could call anything happening now an act of romance, but you turn your head and kiss her thigh. Such a tender moment is shared despite the sordid acts.

Moka huffs, her fingers clinging to your shoulder. "I need it." She sputters, moaning and thrusting down to meet your slow motions. "Oh... It's so good..."

"It's about to get even better," you say.

You lap your tongue along the seeping moisture of her beautiful cunt, and you lick over her slick folds and lap up everything she has to offer. With deep, intense licks, you give her pussy the attention she's been begging for.

"Ahh! Oh, yes!" she shrieks, falling back against the wall and panting with pleasure.

The sweetness of her nectar assaults you, and your tongue finds the little spot that has her moaning each time you lick near it. Faster and faster you circle her clit, watching as her knees quiver and twitch. Closer and closer, your tongue working her into a frenzy.

"More... I-I... yes, don't stop!" she cries, pulling your face against her. She wants more, she won't wait, and she twists and tangles her fingers into your hair, pushing and grinding her dripping sex against you. "Can you imagine it? I was made for pleasure. To give and receive, only to be forced to hide away, all alone? To suffer every day, tortured by my need?"

Moka whimpers and struggles to keep her breath even. You must want to do something about that, don't you?

You grab her thighs, lifting her off the ground and shifting your hands under her, grabbing her soft, plump ass cheeks. She cries at the movement, but then her legs are wrapped around your shoulders, clutching you to her desperately. You eat her little pussy out furiously, ravaging her drenched folds as she cries out, screams filling the room as you pick up the pace. Your tongue dances around her clit, your fingers sinking deeply into the soft flesh of her cute little ass.

"Oh god... I can't stop myself," her desperate cries fill the room.

You cannot deny this girl, even if you wanted to, so you devour her sweet cunt, and watch as her eyes close, the pleasure becoming too much as her body explodes with euphoric release. She screams, desperately riding your face, her entire body quivering and twitching as she cums. The juices drip down your chin as she rides the wave of intense bliss, rolling her hips, indulging in it, prolonging it for as long as she can.

Finally, the surge of her overwhelming orgasm ends, but she slumps, nearly lifeless in your grasp. You struggle to keep her up, and she keeps trying to grind her sensitive folds against you, but her exhaustion finally hits her. So you take her, back in your arms, and toward your kitchen table.

There she lays, shaking and sweating, struggling to catch her breath, and you want nothing more than to pry her delicate figure from that dress. You strip her, your mouth kissing every newly exposed surface of her perfect body.

"This is how things should have been, how life should have been," Moka mumbles, her dark hair swirling beneath her as she lays across your table. Her sweet skin comes into sight and you can't help running your hands along the feminine curve of her stomach. Her perfect breasts fit in the palms of your hands and you trace circles around her taut nipples as she sighs happily.

You undress, and she watches, pulling her lower lip between her teeth. Her expression is suddenly guilty, as though admiring a man naked isn't something a girl should do. But you caress her face, she's your beautiful enchantress, and that moment of hesitation seems to pass as she leans into the palm of your hand. Her eyes shimmer with acceptance, and she's accepting of all the dirty things she's thinking, all the things she's about to say. "I...I want you inside me," she whispers.

Your cock is erect and eager, so hard, aching, throbbing with the desire to know her warmth, and you line yourself with the wetness between her legs.

Gently, you lean forward, pressing the tip against her tightness. "Are you ready?"

"For however long I've waited," she breathes.

She's quivering under you, full of tension, gripping the edge of the table tightly. The expression on her face is so vulnerable, open and raw, so beautiful. Her chest rises and falls with her need, and there's a hunger burning in her, a fire begging to be ignited.

"Please," Moka begs.

"Gentle..." you tell her, though who it's meant for, you're not entirely sure. But you take a deep breath and ease into her slickness.

She gasps, her grip around the side of the table tightening. It takes a moment, but she grows accustomed, her tension dissipates and her trembling is overcome. She laughs, and the sound is nothing short of stunning. Chime-like, the light, airy melody fills the room as she touches herself. Cupping her supple breasts, and tugging her pink nipples, she indulges in her lust and rocks gently against your hard shaft.

"Fuck away my lusts. Fill the void, be the man I've needed so badly," her sweet voice begins to sing with pleasure, her pitch rising.

Her cunt is so warm and inviting, so wet, stretching tightly around you as you pump back and forth. Wet noises sound with every pass. Moka's eyes glaze over and her legs wrap around your waist, pulling you even deeper.

Your thrusting finds a comfortable, easy rhythm, and soon your hips are slapping eagerly against her every time you push in. Wet noises fill the air each time you drive into her deepest parts.

"God, yes..." her desperation only heightens, "Use me, please. Don't stop, fuck me."

"How could I ever?" you pant, both leaning in, sucking the taste of her chocolate mouth, twirling her tongue, drinking her intoxicating exhales.

She's a dream, this girl is made for indulgence. Her arms hook under yours, hands grasping your shoulders, digging into your back, desperate for some way to anchor herself. You want to touch every part of her, soak up her delicious little whimpers and commit them to memory. As your breath runs ragged and your heart pounds in your chest, nothing other than her is present in your mind. Nothing else matters. She is the pure embodiment of desire.

As the feverish motion speeds up, her soft breasts bounce and her entire body shimmers. Sweat glistens along her slender form and you push her to limits she's never known. Her cries run longer and louder until she's screaming, moaning your name, muttering incoherent praise.

"Moka..." you whisper her name, lacing her with what little you can say with a mind lost in the overwhelming bliss of her body.

It isn't long before your rhythm begins to break down. A rising and falling beat, speeding and slowing, stuttering with your every breath. She's drowning with you, and yet floating all at once. Latching onto you, refusing to let go. Desperate, clamping tightly onto you as you enter her deeper with each sharp thrust.

Panting, drenched, bodies so close. Your hard, feverish heat, her spiking lust, colliding with explosive fervour as you surge forward, burying yourself inside her and grunting as you shudder.

Unbridled and relentless, the swelling heat pulses through you and down your length. Rippling through her, filling her cunt, pouring into her. Her cries peak alongside yours. She shudders and shakes as your pulsing cock pumps a shockwave of ecstasy through her.

Delirious laughter escapes her when her rolling euphoria subsides, and her satisfied smile when she strokes her hand down your hot chest... everything about her... the delight of satisfaction washes through her.

Just what was that? That woman made you feel desires you could never imagine possible. Never could you have imagined something would make you feel as if you were flying.

Never could you imagine her.

And yet here she is.

"Can we..." she seems uncertain now, nervous, unsure.

You take her hands and kiss them. A delicate display of adoration that causes her nervous smile to transform into something happier, more certain. "What is it, Moka?"

She presses her finger to her lower lip, searching for the right words. "We can do this again, can't we?"

You can't resist chuckling at the blush that reaches her chest and the shy way she turns her head.

"Of course," you say.

-

Now you understand, even if vaguely, what happened and how things came to be; your actions and hers.

But, as always, the question remains... can a fantasy ever stay?

Moka is sitting outside on the small porch of your humble home. Fond memories occupy your thoughts; nights filled with bliss; mornings spent listening to her joyous voice.

"Are you having doubts?" she asks, unable to meet your gaze.

You sigh and rest against the rail. Her feelings are difficult to understand sometimes, but you have this odd connection, as if an invisible bridge exists between you, allowing you to feel her as she can you. She wants your happiness, you know that, she craves it, and yet...

"Will you stay?" you ask her quietly, a little afraid of the answer.

The setting sun casts pink across the sky. From the lush valley, there's a stream that cuts across the landscape, shaded by the greenery, broken only by the towering tree that stands tall in the distance. Its wide leaves filter the sunlight, casting gentle patterns in the trickling water. It really is such a peaceful place to live.

You stand and enjoy the moment. Fresh air, the calming simplicity of nature.

"I'm sorry," Moka's voice is only a whisper, "I don't know the limits of the magic that brought me here. If I stay, would I be stuck as a human? If I leave your side, would I ever be able to return? It's as much of a mystery to me as it is to you."

"Should I ask Murgo?"

"That fool? He didn't even know the chocolate was really magic. No," her voice grows firmer, "Don't trust the words of that merchant." Her hands clutch tightly at her knees, "I do have this feeling. I can't quite explain it, but, I've been feeling it since you first tasted me."

"Feeling?"

"A pulling—a tug—toward you, away from you too," she says. "Magic, desires, loneliness... maybe they've been woven together. I can't be sure."

"Not sure I understand."

"I feel it now. There's this need to be satisfied. And when I'm not, it feels like the magic will just tear me away."

You push away from the railing and step towards her. She's sitting, knees pulled against her chest, wearing nothing more than a white linen gown. Seeing her so small...

"So, if I just satisfy you..." You reach out and gently brush your knuckles along her soft cheek. Moka leans into your touch, her deep brown eyes gazing up. Your fingertips push through her silky dark hair and cup her delicate chin. As she stares at you, you can feel the deep, yearning emotion within her. "Then you will stay with me."

"I think—"

You interrupt her with a kiss. Softly locking your lips, bringing her comfort. Just a moment, simple tenderness. Then passion, as you open your mouth and taste the pure sugar of her tongue. Slipping around yours, her hot exhale, her warmth, both erotic and meaningful.

You can only pull away by taking her with you, pulling her up from the chair. Eagerly, Moka smiles and steps into your arms. Squeezing her tight, holding her around the waist, breathing her scent, feeling the tension inside yourself. She kisses you back with the same intensity, lips tight on yours, warm and dripping as they open, teasing you with her sweet taste.

You stumble back towards the railing, bodies entwined. Tilting your head, her chocolate flavour can make anyone addicted. Kissing her, nipping, sucking, biting her lip. Sinking into her warmth, her body. Lifting the hem of her short gown, running your fingers along the silky skin of her thighs. She arches back into the wooden railing, and you break apart the kiss as she sinks into the support behind her.

You take hold of her shoulders and turn her. She braces against the railing and leans forward, showing off that inviting, delicate shape. Between the arch of her back and the curve of her cute ass, she begs to be taken. And that thin linen may as well not even be there; it's so taut, so transparent.

You move behind her. In the fading light of the evening, the shadows reveal more than they hide. Lifting the cloth and leaving her bare. Running your hands down the lines of her hips and sides, your fingers lightly trace back up her ribs and finally, you cup one of her light breasts. Her nipple presses into the palm of your hand, and she's so sensitive, arching at even the slightest touch.

She looks back at you, her eyes longing, knowing what comes next. Spreading your fingers down between her legs, you run them along the slick, wet flesh waiting for you. She's already ready, dripping, and your fingertips only tease her. Bending, lining up your rigid cock against her wetness. You place your other hand on her hip and ready yourself, preparing to push forward.

"I'll never grow tired of this," you say.

Moka looks back at you, blushing, hair over her face as she tries to look through the veil. Before she can respond, you push, and she lets out a sharp cry at being filled. With her firmly held, you slide in and out of her dripping cunt. It's not a frantic, hurried pace, but deep, intense thrusts that give Moka what she needs—give her relief.

"Ah! That's so deep... so deep."

Her moans spill out without restraint. Such a vibrant voice, full of the lusts she's harbouring. Holding her firmly, plunging deeper and faster, her tiny pussy wrapping tightly around you. Wet, slippery squishing echoes through the empty air. Slaps sounding with every time your crotch strikes hers. It's all so lewd and brings you ever closer, keeps driving you.

The deeper her chest falls, the more she arches, and a deep moan escapes as her body shakes. Her orgasm comes strong, fast, and powerful, making her legs quake and her voice stutter. But you hold her and keep fucking. Slipping against her back, clinging to her waist, burying your face in her hair. Her trembling sex tenses and flexes and still she moans, incoherently telling you just how good it feels.

You've lost track of the number of times you've filled her tight cunt in the past few days, so this is just another one of many. She loves it, though; loves feeling you pour so deeply inside her. She'll do anything to feel it. So you fill her. Firm thrusts as you pump her full of your cum, right there on the porch.

-

During the moments she spends staring out the window, you run your hand down Moka's back. She hums a little sound, appreciating the act, and snuggles into the blanket further.

"Cold? I could go get the fire going again if you like."

Moka stares blankly, fixated on a flower just outside the window. She blinks and laughs suddenly.

"Hm? Sorry, what did you say?"

You repeat what you said and she quickly responds.

"It's alright, but there's something I need you to do."

"What is it?"

"Lie on the bed, let me ride you. I want to feel you fill me. I need it." She reaches a hand up and cradles her own breast, grasping at it and squeezing the supple mound.

It's getting worse—her constant need. Like an itch, she says. Something has to constantly be done to keep it from being painful. It's barely been two hours since you were last inside her, and it seems to be the only thing she can think about.

"Please. I just need a little more..."

You can't bring yourself to deny her. Not when she looks at you like that. So you stumble backwards, pulling her naked form along with you, and ungracefully land on your back. Already you're growing hard, just from looking up at her dainty body and recalling all the wonderful acts you have performed and thinking of what is yet to come.

Moka runs her hand through her hair and gazes downward, a serene look washing over her delicate features.

"Smiling suits you," you tell her.

Again, you watch her eyes light up at that little kind of praise. "Thank you," she says, blushing as she clambers across the bed to kneel above you. She fixes her knees on either side of your hips and runs her palms over your chest, teasing your body as her breasts sway before you.

"Oh..." she purrs as she rocks back and forth, rubbing her bare sex up and down your length. "Oh, yes..."

You hum with delight, but remain still for a moment, listening to the happy sounds she's making, letting her indulge in the simple foreplay.

Eventually, she can take it no longer. "Here..." She lifts herself with her thighs and wraps a single hand around your hardened cock, steadying it and gripping tight. With a single gasp, she guides you inside her. Her moisture envelops you and she's so tight, the way her pussy seems to suck you in all the way to the base. But once you reach that far point, you both let out a loud moan of satisfaction. She's got all of you, every last inch of your shaft has found its home inside her.

Moka rests there for a moment, staring down with these innocent, almost vulnerable brown eyes. From the soft feeling of her velvety interior and the cute, lewd look of her blissful face, you can't help yourself, and buck up into her, plunging even further in. She lets out a gasp and stumbles forward, catching herself on your chest.

"I'm sorry! Are you alright?" you ask.

The dark-haired girl giggles—something that pleases you more than you can describe—and returns to that dainty smile. She pulls her hips and then drives them against you, before groaning, "More than alright."

Moka finds her rhythm. Rolling and grinding her hips, each motion punctuated by her spiking arousal. Her small cunt welcomes the friction, drips with desire. You grip her waist, helping her balance as she bounces in your lap, pushing herself harder and faster each time. She pushes harder, taking more of you, and soon she's crying out your name, begging you to fill her with everything you have.

Her gorgeous form rocks above you. Thrusting vigorously, her little breasts barely bouncing in a way that you can't take your eyes away from. Moka digs her nails into your chest. Her moans and cries grow increasingly desperate.

"You're amazing," Moka moans through her pleasure, voice quivering and trembling with it.

You can feel her clenching tighter and tighter, her insides quaking as she begs, and pleads for release. It brings your climax close, and despite the urgency of her pleasure, she maintains a controlled rhythm. Not so fast as to short-circuit things, keeping you on the very edge of euphoria.

"God, I love the way you..." she exclaims as a bright flush blossoms across her face. She sinks her teeth into her lower lip, muting her sound.

"What?" you struggle to speak as her slick folds wrap so tightly around you.

You don't know what it is, but something catches her attention. Her movements slow and she's searching, somehow peering through the dark outside. The noise has stopped too, usually at night there's a cacophony of singing insects and rustling, fluttering wings, but now nothing. No wind or creak or creasing leaf. Quiet. Dead quiet.

Moka slips off of your cock and crawls backwards to the end of the bed.

"What is it?" you ask.

Moka's lips twitch. Anxiety sets in over her features and she steps away from the bed, toward the window. Moonlight kisses her skin, the pale rays dancing on her shadowy form. Your heart falters and you realise... you really do want her here. Like this. Always.

"Moka?"

A strong gust blows and the window swings open. Her silky hair whips against her face, catching on her lips. She raises her hand, fingers hovering lightly in the moonlight. You remain motionless in fear of breaking whatever is occurring. Nothing feels right, not a single thing. As if the fabric of reality has been slashed in two.

The wind howls. The lights flicker and the fireplace across the room somehow brings itself to light. She turns to face it and the flames illuminate Moka's eyes. They glow a pale violet, the hue all wrong, ghostly. A tremble comes over her, and she says just five words. The last five words you'll ever hear from her.

"I'm sorry. I'll miss you."

Her hand turns to dust. The grains reflect the moon as they blow out of the window. You watch as the rest of her body follows, leaving only the imprint of where she once stood.

Time moves slowly—too slowly—like your heart, which can't beat. Something has broken, something in you, though not a sound passes through your lips. Tears stream from your eyes. The pain, the sorrow, the emptiness—it all feels irreparable. You can't bear it, and without a single word, without a single sound, the world goes black.

[stevie-petey]

episode seven: the massacre at hawkins lab

Steve coughs, swatting at the particles in the air. “Just inhaled a bunch of that crap.” “I’ve been trying not to think about how much of the Upside Down we’ve ingested since being here.” “It’s stuck in my throat, Y/N.” “Again, I’m trying not to think about that.

Summary: bats are really fucking annoying to fight, you always somehow end up critically injured, nancy carries the group on her back as always, eddie gives steve relationship advice (embarassing, tbh), interdimensional bike riding is lowkey fun, and you take a trip down memory lane.

Rating: general, some swearing, violence

Warnings: fem!reader, use of y/n, cursing, blood and gore, critical injuries, mentions of fainting, mentions of death and violence, description of corpses

Words: 11.9k

Before you swing in: ive never been more excited to write a chapter tbh. this episode touches on so many things ive been building up for seasons now !!!! insane !!! im so so so excited to see how yall react. this chapter has my favorite sequence of scenes yet ;) enjoy !

–

His name rips from your mouth. “Steve!” 

The bats sink their fangs into his stomach. His legs kick out, he gasps for breath, choking on his pain. Your legs threaten to give out as you stumble towards Steve. Quickly your fingers find the knives you always carry with you just as a bat lunges towards you.

Barely having time to dodge its quick attack, you swat at the creature, but your knives slide off its skin easily. Your heart drops; their flesh is too thick to cut through. The bat screeches at you, its teeth bared, and you throw your body weight against it onto the ground. Angling your knife, you pierce the inside of its mouth, killing it. 

“Shit!” Another bat crawls towards you. Your elbow scrapes the ground as you roll out of its path, slicing into the creature’s maw. 

Steve screams again, this time even louder as even more bats surround him. Frantic, you jump to your feet. Without thinking, you grab the tail of one of the bats, its face buried in Steve’s stomach. When you start to pull, Steve shakes his head violently and throws his arm out at you. “Go!”

You don’t bother answering; you’re not leaving him. 

The bat’s tail cuts your palms as you pry it off of Steve’s flesh, but as soon as it’s removed, it latches onto your upper thigh. “Fuck!”

Razor sharp pain shoots through your entire body. The bat loosens its jaw to only tighten it more; you can feel its teeth hit your bone. Screaming, the white-hot pain blinds you. Your knees give out and you fall before you can catch yourself.

“Y/N!” Steve chokes out, desperate. He clenches his jaw, tries to get up. More bats screech overhead, circling you, and Steve knows you only have seconds before you’re dead. But the vines around his neck constrict even more. His airway closes, another bat takes the other one’s place on his stomach. 

“Motherfucker!” You stab at the bat, but then a second one slams against your body and your shoulder explodes with pain. “Fuck-no,” you try to twist around, to use the last of your strength to remove it from your own skin, but it’s no use. The bats tear at your skin, ripping through muscle and ligaments. 

Lightning flashes, its light red mars the endless dark blue sky. Above you, a bat screeches, signaling its descent, before it dives towards you at full speed. Your eyes close, you hope death will be quick. 

“Get fucked!” Someone screams, a sickening thud following. Opening your eyes, you see the creature’s body get thrown into the air. Eddie stands above you, smiling wickedly, but as soon as he sees the two other bats gnawing on you, he brings his oar over his head and swings. 

You look away, scared he’ll miss, and see Nancy and Robin a few feet away. Nancy holds the other oar, working with Robin to kill the swarm of bats that encase Steve’s body. Seeing them makes you want to cry in sweet relief. 

The sound of the bats’ pained cries echo in your ears. It takes several attempts before Eddie manages to get them off of you. The bat’s teeth cut deeply with every attack, causing you to cry out in pain. It’s fucking agonizing. Warm blood follows a sickening tearing sensation in your leg.

When Eddie has killed both bats, he helps you stand up. “Jesus, you alright?”

“Talk later,” you grunt, already rushing to go help Nancy and Robin. “Fight now.”

Eddie doesn’t stop you. He swings his oar again and Robin begs you to help. She has a bat pinned down while Nancy pounds her oar into its face, but it won’t fucking die. Its tail has wrapped itself around Steve’s neck and he’s paler than you’ve ever seen him. 

But before you can gut the piece of shit creature, another bat pounces on Nancy. Its claws tear her skin and she yelps. You scream her name and catch her before she falls. “I got you.”

Nancy’s hands clutch your body as you stab the bat. “Get it off me!”

“I’m trying!” The bat won’t let go, screeching with every pull. Biting down, you ignore the searing pain as your palms get cut up even more. Robin tries to help, but you scream at her. “No! Help Steve!”

She nods quickly and it’s a mess of fighting and screeches and blood. Steve bites down on the bat’s tail, its jaw opens as it squeals, giving him just enough time to escape. As he rolls to the side, Robin throws the bat’s body onto the ground. 

Seeing Steve safe reinvigorates you, and with one final scream, you use everything within you to pull the bat off of Nancy’s back. It releases her skin with a squelching pop. You force your knife down its throat and pin the creature to the ground. It writhes beneath you. “Now, Nancy!”

She doesn’t hesitate. “Go to hell!” Her oar slams down, killing it.

Behind you Eddie kills the remaining few bats that circle overhead. Steve stands next to you, slamming the final bat into the ground. The body lands with a loud smack against the concrete and Steve rips the carcass in half. 

Blood drips from his mouth and he messily spits it away. He’s panting, his stomach is on fire, he’s stuck in some alternate dimension with no way out, but all he can focus on is you. 

Flesh hangs from your shoulder, leaving behind a gaping wound of exposed muscle. Your thigh is torn clean through. There’s blood everywhere. The white of your tanktop is now soaked in red. But you’re here, you’re alive. He hasn’t lost you. Not yet, at least.

“Y/N–” Steve practically falls against you, and you’re no better yourself. You’re crying, snot runs down your face as you grab desperately at him. His hands are all over you as he tries to stop the bleeding, but there’s so much blood. 

“I-I’m here.” Your hands are all over Steve’s body, too. They cup his waist, there are so many bite marks on him, but at least his flesh is warm under your skin. He’s still here, he’s still yours, and now all you want to do is calm him down. Steve is panicking, holding you as if he’s afraid you’ll die in his arms any second, and the fear on his face makes your chest ache. 

“Are you guys okay?” Nancy asks, tentatively touching your shoulder. A wince slips from her lips when she sees the flesh that is no longer there. “Jesus, Y/N.”

Steve wraps his hands around your thigh, it’s bleeding the most and you can barely put any weight on it. “I’m fine, but they took a fucking pound of flesh from her.”

“You’re no better,” you’ve placed your own hands over his stomach, his blood warm against your fingers. “I think you lost your appendix.”

Steve laughs, but almost immediately his laugh turns into a groan. “God, don’t make me laugh. It hurts.”

You apologize, kissing his shoulder. Light catches your attention and you see Robin crouched down next to one of the bat carcasses. She looks up at everyone. “Uh, do you guys think these bats have, like, rabies?”

“Robin, if we have rabies, please promise me you’ll shoot me.” You tell her, dead serious. Rabies has always terrified you. When you were younger, a rabid fox made its way onto your grandparents' farm. It had killed all the chickens, attacked the herding dog they had, and you remember how distraught your father had been when he had to kill both the fox and the hound. 

“I’m sure you and Steve don’t have rabies.” Nancy says, sensing your growing fear. But before she can say anything else a small group of bats descend from the sky.

Steve pushes you behind him. They land near the gate you fell through, screeching at the five of you. They’re a small enough group, Steve voices what you’re all thinking: you can handle them. Flicking your knives out, you prepare for what’s about to come. 

Until a swarm grows larger in the distance. There’s easily hundreds of them, they cast a shadow below where they fly. There’s too many to fight. 

“You were saying?” Robin breathes out, eyes never leaving the sky.

Steve is speechless, he doesn’t know what to do. His hand tightens around you, protective, but thankfully Nancy has a plan. She tells everyone to run towards the woods and none of you hesitate to follow. Steve swings your legs over his arms, picking you up with ease despite the bite wounds that litter his skin. Like hell he’s letting you run right now; you’re too torn up, you can hardly even walk. 

As Steve runs with you in his arms, he’s careful to avoid the vines that creep over the ground. It’s a dizzying rush. All you can do is hold tightly onto him, trusting that Nancy knows where she’s taking you. 

Deep into the woods, Nancy calls over her shoulder, “Over here!”

Lifting your head from Steve’s chest, you realize, as you always do, that Nancy Wheeler is a goddamn genius. She’s taken you all to Skull Rock.

The giant boulders form a small alcove, just big enough to hide under as the bats fly overhead. She instructs everyone to crawl under and Steve sets you down gently, positioning you so that you’re sitting with your back against the rock. As soon as you’re secure, Steve’s hand goes back to your thigh.

The sound of the bats is almost deafening. No one dares to speak. They fly over at such a gruesome speed, their screeches echoing off the trees. You lose count of how many there are. All you can do is wait for the last of them to leave.

More lightning strikes above. It shakes the ground, the sound reverberates in your skull. You can’t believe you’re here. You’re in the Upside Down. The place you’ve only ever spoken about, the entity that haunted your nightmares and took the ones you loved from you.

It’s so much colder than you imagined it to be. Everything is darker, more twisted. The dimension is exactly as Will once described to you: this is Hawkins, it’s your home, but different. Colder, scarier. These woods are the woods you walked through, the woods where you fell in love, and yet the trees loom over you in a threatening way. Their branches form spikes, the dirt recoils against your feet. 

Nothing here feels warm. The darkness is never ending. 

This is where Will was, all by himself, for a week. 

He had only been twelve. 

When the nightmare swarm of bats is finally over, Robin carefully pokes her head out from the alcove. “Okay, that was close.”

Eddie agrees, kicking at a rock. Steve offers you his hand to stand, but the moment your skin touches his, you feel sick. All the adrenaline from earlier leaves you. All the blood you’ve lost catches up, leaving your body weak. Stumbling, your vision tunnels and your eyes roll back. 

“Woah, hey.” Steve breaks your fall, snapping his fingers in your face to bring your attention back to him. He’s weak as well, he has to lean heavily against the rock to steady himself. “Y/N-shit!”

“Steve?” Nancy turns around, finding you and him moments away from collapsing. She curses, rushing over. When she sees all the blood that still pours from your thigh, she gags. “Oh, fuck.”

“Keep… keep talking. Please.” Your breathing is labored, you can hardly form any words. “Keep talking to me. If-if I faint… embarrassing.”

“I think she’s losing it.” Eddie whispers rather loudly to Robin. 

Nancy grazes Steve’s chest, silently asking him to move your body aside. She wants to get a closer look at his wounds as well, she can’t help you if he’s bleeding out himself, but he refuses. “No, no we need to help Y/N.”

“Steve, you’re also losing blood–”

“I don’t care.” Steve pulls you even closer to his chest, he needs to feel your rib cage rising and falling. He needs to feel you breathe. “Help her, Nancy.”

His outburst startles Nancy. She takes a step back, alarmed, but clenches her jaw. There’s no getting through to Steve; she knows she’s lost the fight. “At least sit her down.”

Steve collapses, sliding back against the rock with you tucked to his chest. With shaking hands, he forces you to sit next to him. You wince with every movement, it’s getting harder and harder to stay awake.

“Stay with me, angel.” Steve murmurs to you, motioning to Nancy to look down at your thigh. The wound is bleeding the most, the teeth sunk in the deepest. 

“Don’t wanna faint,” your head sags to the side, exhausted. “So embarrassing.”

Nancy places her hands unsurely to your thigh. The blood squelches, soaking through your jeans. She exhales shakily. “You’re not-you’re not going to faint, okay? Just keep talking, Y/N.”

“Hate bats.” It’s the first thing that comes to mind, but it seems to settle Nancy’s unease and Steve’s worry. “Little fuckers hurt.”

Nancy tears the end of her shirt, her nimble fingers gently lift your injured leg. She ties the piece of fabric tight around your thigh, quelling the bleeding. Steve helps with the knot, though really he just needs something to do. 

“If you want some good news, I’m pretty sure wooziness is not a symptom of rabies.” Robin crouches next to you, smiling despite how terrified she is. “So that’s something, right?”

You yelp when Nancy tightens the tourniquet. Biting your tongue, you force a smile to Robin. “Hooray.”

“There,” Nancy wipes her hands of your blood. The tourniquet isn’t much, but already the bleeding has subsided. “But I think you’re going to need stitches.”

“I’m tired of hospitals,” you whine, but you’re already feeling a bit better. You’re weak, sure, but at least your body isn’t slowly draining itself out. “Thanks, though.”

Nancy nods, smiling softly, before her eyes land on Steve’s stomach. “Can I finally patch you up?”

Steve doesn’t even look at her, instead cups your face. Even though you’re covered in blood and sweat and tears, even though your cheek is scabbed and your lip is split, he doesn’t think he’s ever found you more beautiful. “You alright?”

“Been better,” you admit, squeezing his arm. “But let’s worry about you now.” Turning to Nancy, you extend your arm. “Got any more torn pieces of clothing?”

She bites her lip. The only thing covering your body is your tank top. She’s seen the cuts all over your palms. She doesn’t think you’ll be able to wrap the cloth around Steve, if she’s being honest. But she also knows Steve and how fiercely he loves you. He won’t let anyone near him but you. 

Finally, she sighs. Tearing off more of her shirt, she hands it to you. “Yeah, here.”

You thank Nancy again, and she gives you a curt nod before backing away, giving you and Steve some space. Once she’s gone, you tend to Steve’s injuries. When he moves his hand away and reveals raised, angry flesh, you inhale sharply. “Steve…”

“Just a flesh wound.” He jokes, but you can hear the pain in his voice. 

Though you’re still dizzy and weak, you manage to lift Steve’s body enough to wrap the makeshift bandage around him. Luckily he isn’t bleeding as badly as you are, but the sight of him injured still leaves you nauseous. 

Tying the fabric around his torso, you’re careful not to hurt him any more. The moment is familiar, reminiscent of the years before. Back in the junkyard when a Demodog nearly tore open your rib cage, Steve had been the one to take care of you. He had so carefully wrapped your cardigan around your chest, been so delicate with you, and now it’s your turn to do the same for him. 

“We always end up here, don’t we?” You say softly, it still takes a lot of energy for you to speak. You finish tying a knot to secure the bandage and Steve looks at you oddly. He doesn’t understand, and you shrug. “You and me, patching each other’s wounds up.”

Steve’s eyes soften. It doesn’t matter where he could be, in what situation he could be stuck in, you always somehow remind him of how loved he is. “Kinda wish the bats had eaten my ribs instead. We could’ve had matching scars.”

You laugh, eyes shining with tears. Fresh pain explodes all over your body, but you laugh anyways. You don’t know why you’re laughing or why tears run down your face. The exhaustion and pain from today must finally be catching up to you. “How romantic.”

Steve laughs as well, the pain of it bearable when he hears your laughter mixing with his. “I love you, angel.”

“I love you, too, honey.” It’s so cold in the Upside Down, but the warmth of Steve’s love feels like sunshine kissing your skin. 

Robin clears her throat. “Uh, not to ruin this cute moment, but I just wanted to say that if either of you start feeling aggressive, please let me know. Because, ya know. The threat of rabies still.”

“I kinda wanna punch you.” Steve looks at her pointedly, annoyed. 

You poke his cheek and smile apologetically at Robin. “He didn’t mean that.”

“Sense of humor is still intact, that’s a good sign!” She cheers, then, as an afterthought, she takes off her flannel and hands it to you. “Also, figured you’d want this. Not that you aren’t totally hot right now in only a tiny tank top and blood all over you, it’s just freakishly cold down here and you technically have an exposed wound on your shoulder and who knows what sorts of awful flesh eating diseases there are here.” 

You accept the flannel gratefully and thank her. Then, together, you and Steve stand up. The process is difficult, you only have one functional top and bottom, and you walk in a slow manner together as you lean against the other. 

Up ahead, Eddie is standing on one of the boulders, staring out into the vast dimension. “So, uh. This place is like Hawkins, but with monsters and nasty shit?”

“Basically.” You respond, grunting as you support Steve’s upper body. 

Eddie nods, defeated, and before he can step down, Nancy tells him to be careful of the vines. “It’s all a hive mind.”

When Eddie doesn’t understand, Steve tries to explain it to him. “All the creepy crawlies here, dude. They’re like, one or something.”

“They’re all interconnected. They can feel each other’s pain, feelings, whatever.” You say, remembering how Jonathan had described Will’s agonizing screams when the vines had been burned in the tunnels.

“Step on a vine, you’re stepping on a bat, you’re stepping on Vecna.” Steve finishes grimly. 

Eddie smiles sarcastically, obviously displeased with this information, but he’s careful not to step on any vines on his way down. 

“But everything from our world is still here, right? Except people?” Robin asks.

You nod. “According to Will, yeah.”

This pleases Robin, and she starts explaining her plan. If everything's the same in the Upside Down, then you should be able to use the guns stored away at Hawkins’ police station. With the ammunition stored there, it’d be more than enough to kill the bats that guard the gate back to Hawkins. 

“I highly doubt the Hawkins PD has grenades, Robin.” Steve says skeptically. “But guns? Sure.”

You shake your head. While Robin’s idea is good, there’s still the issue of going all the way downtown from Skull Rock. The five of you barely made it half a mile without getting killed. There’s no way you’d survive three. “But the police station is downtown. That’s too far from here.”

Robin deflates, but Nancy furrows her brows. After thinking for a moment, her eyes light up. “We don’t have to go all the way downtown. I have guns. In my bedroom.”

God you love her.

Eddie scoffs in disbelief. “You, Nancy Wheeler, have guns… plural? In your bedroom?”

“Full of surprises, isn’t she?” Robin says with pride.

“And this is why we always listen to her.” You sing along, high fiving Robin. 

Nancy doesn’t acknowledge you or Robin, but her cheeks flush with slight embarrassment. “A Russian Makarov and a revolver.”

“Yeah, you almost shot me with that one.” Steve reminds her, though his tone is gentle, almost teasing.

You laugh, remembering how terrified he had been when Nancy pointed the gun at him. You all had been so much younger, more naive. All he wanted to do was apologize to Jonathan for their fight earlier. Steve had just wanted to make things right, and that’s why you stepped in front of him that night. “Luckily for you, I was there to save your life.” 

Steve looks down at you fondly. He pulls you close, his eyes are full of so much love. He remembers everything. The night that started it all. “And then I saved yours.”

To think that a sprained ankle and a bat full of nails would lead you to here: Steve’s warm chest against you, so full of love.

Lost in your warm memories, neither you nor Steve see Eddie throwing his vest at Steve’s face until it’s too late. The material smacks against him, cruelly bringing the two of you back to reality. 

“What the fuck, Eddie?” You sneer at him, deeply annoyed. 

He waves at you flirtatiously, a devilish glint in his eyes. “I’m protecting your boyfriend’s modesty for you.”

Before you can retaliate, the ground beneath you starts to shake. The force of it is so sudden, so strong, that it sends you and everyone else falling. Steve catches himself on a rock, holding you tightly to his chest, and you manage to catch Nancy before she falls as well. Eddie grabs onto Robin, stuck on the ground together.

The tremors are violent. There’s a cracking sound, branches fall behind you as the earthquake destroys whatever it can. Steve holds you through it, he whispers reassurances to try and calm you. When it’s over everything is quiet for a moment, before a loud, heart stopping shriek cuts into the night.

It doesn’t sound like any creature you’ve faced before. Far too loud to be a Demodog’s, far too large to be a bat’s. The thought of what it could be almost paralyzes you; it could’ve been the Mind Flayer. 

“Guns seem like a pretty good idea to me.” Eddie finally says, panting. 

Robin quickly agrees, and you swallow down the bile that rises in your throat. “Yeah, okay. I can be okay with guns.”

“So what are we waiting for?” Steve puts Eddie’s vest on, twirling a flashlight in his hand. He nods to himself, tries to convince himself that he’s as confident as he sounds. He extends his other arm towards you, helping you steady your balance. “Let’s go.”

And you follow. 

– 

It’s a long walk from Skull Rock to Nancy’s house; it’s an even longer walk when you’re in the Upside Down, hiding from demonic bats. With every branch that snaps beneath someone’s foot, you all jump. The croak of whatever creature nearby sets everyone on edge. 

“Couldn’t we have tried a road or something just slightly less creepy?” Robin complains, jumping over a vine. 

Leaning against Steve, you groan. “Anything would be less creepy than this.”

“I think we’re getting close,” Nancy tries to sound convincing, but even she’s uneasy. “We’re almost out of here. Don’t worry.”

Robin nods at the reassurance, but you can’t help but wonder what could possibly come next after you find Nancy’s guns. It’d be two guns, two critically injured members of the group, two oars, and one switchblade against an army of bats.

Not the best odds. 

Nancy and Robin wander further ahead, leaving you behind with Steve and Eddie. None of you talk, more so because you’re putting all your energy into not falling on your face and Steve is busy helping you stay upright.

Walking is difficult and painful and you’re so frustrated by it all, especially after you trip over your fourth tree root. If it weren’t for Steve’s quick reflexes, you’d be long dead by now.

Eddie must recognize this, too.

“Here, let me just–” He comes next to you and throws your arm over his shoulders before either you or Steve can protest. Immediately the pressure on your injured leg lessens. You sigh in content, and Eddie smirks. “There ya go, princess.”

“Don’t call her that.” Steve snaps, but even he has to admit that Eddie’s help is needed. With him carrying half your weight, Steve is able to breathe a little easier. You’re better balanced this way. He’s no longer straining his injuries to support you. 

Eddie winces. “I’m sorry, just… trying to lighten the mood, I guess.”

Steve doesn’t say anything, but the silence stretches on and you feel bad for Eddie. He really is trying. Despite the fact that he’s Hawkins’ most wanted, he still tries to make everyone else laugh. He has to know that he’s never getting out of this alive, and you admire the strength it must take to continue laughing anyways. 

So you try to for him as well. “Thank you, by the way. You saved our lives back there.”

Eddie looks at you funny, he hadn’t expected you to acknowledge it. “Shit, Steve saved his own ass, man.”

“That’s true,” you laugh. By the time the fight finished, Steve had somehow managed to fight his way out by himself. “It was impressive.”

“No it wasn’t.” 

Eddie scoffs at Steve’s dismissal. “Please, that was a real Ozzy move you pulled back there.”

“Ozzy?” Steve looks at you, silently asking for some type of explanation, but you shrug. 

“All I know is that he’s in Black Sabbath.” Jonathan occasionally listened to the band whenever he was particularly angry, but not enough for you to understand Eddie’s obscure reference. 

Eddie makes a surprised, but pleased, sound. “Honestly surprised you even know Black Sabbath, but c’mon. Ozzy Osbourne, he bit a bat’s head off onstage. You seriously haven’t heard about that?”

You and Steve stare at him blankly, and he sighs. “Well, it was very metal. That’s what I’m trying to say.”

Steve scoffs again, but deep down you know he’s preening. It’s not everyday someone commends his strength or recognizes how well he can hold his own. Steve has come a long way since his first fight with Jonathan back at the alley. 

“I think I finally get why my brother likes you so much,” you tell Eddie, looking up at him curiously. “You know a lot of weird facts. He goes crazy for them.”

That, and you’re finding that Eddie isn’t so bad when he isn’t surrounded by his goonies. He’s actually… decent when he isn’t putting on a show for everyone. It’s almost reminiscent of how Steve had once been, back when he was the King. 

But if you ever pointed out that similarity to the boys, you know they’d be deeply offended. 

The corners of Eddie’s mouth tilt up. “Yeah, well. The kid adores you and practically worships Steve.”

“He does?” Steve almost sounds bashful at the idea of Dustin worshiping him. It makes your heart constrict. You both miss your brother terribly. 

Eddie nods. “Oh yeah, it’s kinda annoying, to be honest. Especially when all he talks about is Y/N. If he isn’t talking about you, he’s talking about her.”

“I doubt that’s true,” you shake your head. “He doesn’t need me anymore, he’s practically counting down the days until I leave.”

“Nah, man. Dustin tells me all the time how much he’ll miss you when you leave.” Eddie tells you, voice firm. “Kid always talks about how much you look out for him, that he doesn’t know what he’ll do when you’re gone. In a way, it’s annoyingly endearing. He frets over you just as much as you fret over him. I can see the Henderson charm in him that made you Hawkins’ sweetheart.” 

Everything that Eddie tells you leaves your throat sticky with tears. You didn’t know, you couldn’t know all Dustin said about you. For the longest time you thought he’d grown to hate you, to resent you the way kids often do with their family. You would’ve never blamed him; sometimes people just grow up, grow apart, but here Eddie is, telling you that your brother will miss you when you’re gone. 

Unable to say anything in fear that you’ll cry, the only response you give Eddie is a curt, short nod.

Steve rubs your side tenderly, understanding all you’re unable to say. Eddie feels the touch against his own side and he clears his throat. He knows you want him to change the subject. “Admittedly, I got a little jealous. Hearing the little shrimp talk about you as if you hung the goddamn stars yourself.” 

The irony of it all crashes upon you. While you had been jealous of Eddie, he had been jealous of you. The two of you spent months quarreling over Dustin, you’d been uncharacteristically mean to Eddie, and yet the entire time you envied the other. 

Abandonment can make people cruel. 

“I was jealous of you, too.” You finally reveal to Eddie, meeting his eyes for the first time tonight. 

Eddie stares back at you, his expression softens with understanding. He seems to have pieced together what you have: your anger had never been cruel, only defensive. Protective of your brother the way only a sister would in fear of losing him. 

“Guess that makes us both idiots, huh?” Eddie teases gently, accepting the offering of truce that you present to him. 

You laugh, looking away. The moment of truce is nice, pleasant almost, until the beat of silence becomes too unbearable for you. You’ve revealed enough of yourself tonight. Awkwardly clearing your throat, you lift your arm from Eddie’s shoulder and pull away. “Robin is probably missing me right now. She hates the dark, these woods are her worst nightmare.”

Steve catches your arm before you leave. You’re still unsteady on your feet, but he understands what you’re trying to do. He’s come to learn that you shut away when you’re vulnerable. While you wear your heart on your sleeve, Steve knows that it can be exhausting for you. 

“Need me to call her over?” He asks you quietly.

“No, I can manage.” You kiss Steve’s cheek, thanking him without having to say it. Eddie smiles at you as you leave, tight lipped, but kind nonetheless. 

The two teens watch you slowly make your way over to Robin, who happily welcomes your presence. She wraps her arms around you and holds you tightly, giggling slightly, before holding you close and helping you walk. 

“I’ll bring her back in one piece!” Robin calls to Steve, giggling under her breath. Steve waves his hand sarcastically, but doesn’t argue. Turning to you, Robin’s face shines in the blue moonlight. “You here to save me from this totally creepy, absolutely horrid woods?”

“Duh,” your laughter reflects hers. “I’m your knight in shining armor, babe.”

Robin squeezes your hand, resting her head against yours as you walk together. It’s been a long time since you’ve held each other like this. The realization makes you guilty. “How’ve you been holding up?”

Robin shrugs, the motion jostles your head, but you don’t mind. “We’re in the Upside Down, some guy named Vecna wants you and Max dead, and you refuse to admit that you’re scared.”

You bite your lip. Robin is just as worried for you as Steve is, she’s just hidden it better, and you wish that you could spare her the worry. She’s put up such a strong front for you. Between Steve, Dustin, Lucas, and Max, Robin knew you didn’t want yet another person coddling you.

So she stepped back, gave you the space you wanted, but you’re still her best friend. Robin won’t let you forget that.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper to her, holding onto her as tightly as she holds onto you. 

Robin shrugs again. “Nothing to forgive, pretty girl.”

And it’s as simple as that.

Though Steve can’t hear your conversation, he watches you and Robin fondly. The two of you sway together, laughing occasionally. Eddie notices the way Steve looks at you and laughs to himself. 

“You know, I was jealous of you, too.”

Steve raises his eyebrow. “What?”

“I was jealous of you and Henderson, the little one, I mean. Guess I couldn’t accept the fact that Steve Harrington was actually a good dude. I mean, rich parents, popular, chicks love him, not a douche? No way dude. That like, flies in the face of all laws in the universe and my own personal Munson doctrine.”

Then Eddie motions towards you. “And when you started dating Y/N? C’mon, man. Everyone knows Y/N Henderson is like, God’s gift to selflessness. I watched her tutor kids in the library like goddamn Gandhi, and suddenly she’s dating you? There isn’t any law in the universe to explain that. Fucking unfair.”

Though he knows he should be offended, Steve finds himself laughing. If he’s being honest, he’s relieved that someone else is questioning whether Steve deserves you. From the moment he met you, you’ve tried convincing him that he’s always deserved you. But Steve knows better, and he can’t believe it’s Eddie Munson who sees this, too. 

“If it makes you feel any better, I also don’t know why Y/N chose me.” Steve confesses, catching Eddie’s attention. “Honestly, I don’t think I ever would’ve been someone she even liked had we not been dragged into the Upside Down together. I was a douchebag. She hated me for years, but I guess saving her life a few times earned me some brownie points.” 

Eddie snorts. “Surprised you’re not claiming it was your ‘stunningly good looks’ that made Y/N fall for you. Oh how humble you’ve become.”

“Y/N changed me.” Steve’s eyes find your body again. They will always draw towards you no matter where you are.

The sincerity in Steve’s voice surprises Eddie. Licking his lips, he sighs. “Well whatever she did, I never would’ve jumped in that lake to save your ass, not under any normal circumstances.” A branch snaps, Steve and Eddie turn to its source, but there’s nothing there. Sighing again, Eddie continues to walk. “Outside of DnD, I’m no hero. I see danger and I just turn heel and run… at least, that’s what I’ve learned about myself this week.”

Steve doesn’t know where Eddie is going with this. “Hey, give yourself a break, man.”

Eddie points to you, Robin, and Nancy walking up ahead. “No, you see. The only reason I came in here was ‘cause those ladies came in straight after you. I was too ashamed to be the one who stayed behind. But Y/N? She dove in the second your head went under. Nearly tore Robin’s arm off trying to get to you.”

Something heavy settles in Steve’s chest. There’s a shift, there’s something that simmers deep into his rib cage. 

Eddie forces Steve to look at him. “I don’t know how you did it, but she loves you. The way she was screaming your name, it was an unambiguous sign of true love that these cynical eyes have ever seen. And if someone like Y/N Henderson loves you… then I figured you must be worth saving.”

Steve’s breath stutters. He looks up at you again, the warmth that cascades his veins whenever he sees you overwhelms him. Steve loves you more than anything. To be told how deeply you love him by someone else is almost too much. 

You and Steve have been fighting so much recently. He’s said awful things to you, you’ve hurt him in ways he hadn’t known he could hurt. All the unspoken words, all the uncertainty and fear, and yet you dove in to save Steve without hesitating. 

And isn’t that all that love is? To love without expectations, without hesitancy. Love is the inability to separate your breath from the person’s lungs; you took all the air out of Steve’s chest the moment you smiled at him. 

You’re the best goddamn thing that has ever happened to Steve. He’s always known this, he’s always known that what the two of you have is special. It’s something more than just young love. 

So what if the future you envision doesn’t align with Steve’s? How could something so small, so miniscule as compared to forever with you, be what Steve allows to drive you away? You deserve more than just his insecurities. You’ve already decided that Steve deserves your love, what more can he want from you?

He already has you; Steve won’t let you walk away from him. Not this time, not when what you have is rare and real and raw. 

Steve almost wants to laugh at how funny it is. He’d been so worried about losing you, that he almost lost you in the process. What’s even worse: it took a five minute conversation with fucking Eddie Munson to even realize it. 

“Y/N, she’s–” Steve begins, but the ground starts to shake again and he’s falling. Eddie curses, sick of these earthquakes, and Steve braces himself as the rumbling continues. 

Robin struggles to hold onto you as you cower together under the earth’s violent shaking. Instinctively your head turns toward Steve to make sure he’s okay. You find him on the ground next to Eddie. Sensing your eyes on him, Steve looks up and nods reassuringly at you. Relieved, you breathe against Robin. 

“Second on my list of least favorite things,” she says, voice shaking. “Earthquakes. Seriously, I’m unsteady enough as it is.”

“At least you have two working legs.” You quip.

Robin shushes you, but her voice raises when she sees Nancy stand and take off. “Nancy!”

Squinting at the darkness, you see the girl’s figure disappearing into the treeline. She’s running alarmingly fast, way too fast for anyone to catch up in time, and your heart lurches. None of you should be splitting up right now. It isn’t safe. “Fuck! Someone stop her!”

Robin quickly throws you onto your feet and you call after Steve and Eddie to follow. If running was difficult with a bleeding out leg, it’s almost impossible with the ground shaking beneath you. But if Nancy’s in trouble, you need to get to her as soon as you can. Leg be damned.

Breaking through the treeline, you find her standing at the edge of a clearing. There are fallen trees everywhere. Red lightning illuminates the Wheeler house before you. By some miracle, you’ve made it.

“Come on.” Nancy breaks the silence, chin held high. She isn’t giving up now, not when you’re all so close. 

She starts to walk, never looking back, and you look at Steve. He grabs your hand. You take a deep breath. You fucking hope Nancy’s plan works. 

This is your only chance of going home.

– 

The Wheeler house is exactly how you remember it, only vines and debris maims its usually pristine appearance. Nancy walks through the door first while Steve shines a flashlight. Particles float everywhere. You try not to think about the fact that you’re inhaling them.

Your foot catches on a stray vine, its tendrils flail angrily at you. Stomping your foot away, you look wearily at Nancy. “Love the decor.”

She rolls her eyes while Robin echoes you. “Might be time to get a maid, Wheeler.”

Ignoring the two of you, Nancy ushers everyone upstairs. While her voice is level, the unease in her body is apparent. She doesn’t like seeing her home this way. Sympathetic, you start to follow Nancy, but for a split second you think you hear Dustin’s voice.

It’s faint, mostly incoherent, and you think you’ve finally gone crazy. That’s it. Vecna has won, you’ve lost the remaining sanity you had left. 

But then Steve suddenly freezes next to you. His bewilderment tells you that he hears Dustin, too. That’s your brother. You’d know his nasally voice anywhere.

Sharing a look with Steve, you simultaneously begin running around the house, trying to follow the sound of Dustin’s voice. You remember Will telling you how he could hear Joyce’s cries for him while he’d been trapped in the Upside Down. It had been the only way Joyce could communicate with him. What if this is the same?

“Start screaming,” you command Steve, limping over to one of the walls. 

“I’m sorry?”

“It’s what Will did, he-he screamed for his mom and Joyce was able to hear him.” You press our mouth close to the wall and shout, “Dustin!” 

He has to hear you. You don’t know what you’ll do if he doesn’t.

Steve wastes no time following along, screaming Dustin’s name at the top of his lungs as well. You know the two of you must look like complete idiots, but you’re desperate.

“Dustin! Dustin Henderson you have five seconds to answer me!” You yell, throat burning.

“Hello? Answer us!” Steve stands in the center of the kitchen, crouched down as if getting ready to bolt. 

This is how Nancy, Robin, and Eddie find you. The three of them stare at you and Steve in concern, though none of them want to get any closer. Robin ducks her head down, whispers, “Maybe they really do have rabies.”

“What are you guys doing?” Nancy demands, fed up. 

“He’s here,” Steve whips his flashlight around, facing them. “Henderson. That little shit, he’s here. He’s like-he’s in the walls or something. Just listen.”

Dustin, predictably, is quiet the moment Steve tells everyone to listen. 

You pound on the wall. “Oh, now you’re quiet?” Everyone looks at you skeptically and you rub your face tiredly. “Look, I know this all sounds crazy, but I can hear Dustin, alright? It’s him.”

“Dustin!” Steve continues to screech, not helping your whole “we aren’t crazy” argument. 

Only Dustin’s voice returns, and thankfully Nancy and everyone else hears it. Together you all search the house, calling your brother’s name out. Yet now matter how loud you scream, he doesn’t respond.

“Alright, either this kid can’t hear us or he’s being a total douchebag.” Steve drops his flashlight.

You blow hair out of your face. “Normally he’s a douchebag, but not nearly to this extent.”

Nancy stands next to you. “But Will found a way to make Joyce listen.”

“When Joyce couldn’t hear him anymore, she used the Christmas lights.” You look at her. “Do you think…?”

She’s already running to the nearest lamp in the kitchen. Flicking the switch, nothing happens. You suggest trying a different light, though you know it won’t make a difference. When the lights remain unlit, you slam your palm against the table in frustration. 

“Guys?” Steve gets your attention. He’s shining his flashlight at the chandelier that hangs over the Wheeler’s dining table. “You seeing this?”

Where Steve points his flashlight, a warm, evanescent glow emits from the chandelier. You gasp at its beauty, you’ve never seen anything like it. Nancy steps towards the light and slowly puts her hand into the loose waves that flow between the lights. It’s encased in small orbs that float gently into the air. 

Nancy’s fingers dance in the light. A path of gold leaves a trail where her fingers have been. The particles in the light surround her hand, pulled in by her presence. Breathless, you reach out as well. The light kisses your hand, and the sensation is soft, almost ticklish. 

“This is insane,” you murmur in awe, face illuminated. You never thought you’d encounter beauty in such a place as the Upside Down. But at least Will found the beauty, too. “This must be how Will did it.”

Robin, Steve, and Eddie copy you and Nancy, putting their hands into the light as well. The five of you twirl your fingers around, causing the light to flicker with every movement. 

Steve’s pinky reaches for yours. “It… tickles?” 

“It kinda feels good.” Mumbles Robin, making figure 8’s with her finger. 

Nancy then lowers her hand and asks if anyone knows morse code. She mostly looks at you when you ask, and you bitterly tell her no. You’d think after everything you and the party have been through, you’d at least learn morse code by now. 

“Wait, does SOS count?” 

Eddie’s stupid question makes you hit his chest. “Of course it counts!”

“Ow!” He shoves you away from him, straightening his leather jacket. “A ‘yes” would’ve sufficed.”

Nancy shushes the two of you and instructs Eddie to start typing out the code. With a huff, he listens, and soon he begins the pattern for SOS. A soft buzz accompanies every flicker of the light. With each letter combination, you can practically feel Dustin getting closer and closer to you. 

It’s almost an indescribable feeling. Somewhere, in another universe, Dustin is standing right where you are. You aren’t sure how you know, maybe you’ll never be able to find the right words, but your brother’s presence settles over your own. 

This must be how Jonathan felt when Joyce was in the Upside Down. He whispered her name so softly when he followed her with the lights. Their love for one another tethered them; now it’s your love for Dustin that tethers him to you. 

“Dustin,” his name comes out whispered, relieved. He’s okay, you can feel that he’s safe. 

“Y/N?” Dustin’s muffled shouting fills everyone with relief. Steve and Eddie high five, Nancy lets out the breath she’d been holding, and Robin cheers while you hastily wipe your eyes. The SOS worked. “Is that-is that you?”

“Yes!” Steve screams into the chandelier, though you know your brother won’t be able to hear.

Anxious to get to Dustin as fast as you can, you shove your hands into the chandelier’s light and send a long, bright beam of light. More muffled screaming can be heard on the other side, only this time laughter accompanies it.

“Holy shit!” Dustin exclaims in awe. The amazement in his voice makes you miss him even more. There’s a murmur of other voices, you can only assume one of them is Lucas’, before Dustin shouts even louder, “We’re gonna find you a better light source. Don’t move.”

You roll your eyes. “Like we can go anywhere else.”

Dustin leaves again, but he’s back within minutes. Through loud screaming, he tells you to find Holly’s Lite Brite and go to Nancy’s room. Him and Lucas will meet the rest of you there. 

The moment Dustin leaves again, Nancy shoves everyone upstairs. “I’ll find the light pad, the rest of you go. Now.” 

And that’s how you find yourself restlessly staring at a child’s light up toy on Nancy Wheeler’s bed with Steve’s chest pressed against your back. He leans close to the toy, mumbling under his breath, “Come on, little Henderson.”

The Lite Brite suddenly comes to life. You throw your hands up triumphantly, giddy. “Yes!”

“You guys seeing this?” Dustin asks, to which Nancy responds by putting her hand into the light. Dustin squeals in excitement. This must be a scientific dream for him. “Okay, we’re not moving it, but we’re gonna unplug it. Stand by.”

The light fades away and Dustin prompts someone to spell something. Everyone turns to you. He’s your brother, you should be the one to make first contact. 

Carefully, you use your pointer finger to spell out D.U.S.T.

Eddie cocks his head. “‘Dust’?”

“He’ll understand.” 

When your mom first brought Dustin home from the hospital, he’d been so small. Immediately you fell in love with the small baby, but his size had confused you. You’d never seen anything so tiny before. 

“He’s small,” you informed your father, making a face at the yawning baby before you. “Like dust.”

You were only three, but you can still remember the way your dad had laughed. For years afterwards you never referred to Dustin by his actual name. He was only ever “Dust” to you. Your father joined, the nickname stuck, though your mother came to prefer “Dusty.”

It was only after your father left that you stopped calling your brother Dust. 

“Dust!” Dustin laughs excitedly. “I’m Dust! Yes!” He raises his voice louder, he can’t believe you remembered the old childhood nickname. “That worked, guys!”

Everyone cheers, Eddie even throws in his own enthusiastic “hi” to the Lite Brite. Your face aches from how hard you smile. Turning the toy over to Nancy, you nod at her. “All yours, Wheeler.”

Her eyebrows knit together as she thinks for a moment. There’s so much to tell Dustin and the others, but the Lite Brite is small and too many words to keep track of. “What should I write?”

“‘Help’ would be a pretty good place to start.” You suggest to her. 

Instead, Nancy ends up spelling “stuck”. Which is pretty fitting, all things considered. Gets the message across well. 

“You can’t get back through Watergate?”

Steve questions whatever the hell watergate is and Robin has to explain the wordplay. While she does so, pride swells deep within your chest. “Dustin’s a little genius that I love so much.”

“It was pretty clever.” Eddie admits. 

Nancy tells Dustin that the gate you all came through is guarded. However, never missing a beat, Dustin tells you that he thinks they have a theory that can help. “We think Watergate isn’t the only gate, that there’s one at every murder site.”

You jerk your head up, eyes widening. It all makes sense now. “Wait, I think he’s–”

“Does anyone have any idea what he’s talking about?” Nancy asks tiredly. Everyone gives her equally tired no’s, but you nod viciously.

“Yes! We already know there’s multiple gates, we just didn’t know how, but Dustin might’ve figured it out. It’s all connected to the murders.”

Nancy looks skeptical. “I don’t know…” Before you can argue with her, she sends a “?” back to Dustin. 

Who, predictably, doesn’t take it well. “Seriously? How many times do I have to be right on the money before you guys just trust me?”

Steve grimaces. “Jesus Christ. This kid’s gotta get his ego checked out.” 

“It’s his tone, right?” Eddie butts in.

You shove them both. “Shut up. Both of you. Dustin can be annoying and frustrating, but he’s right. He’s always been right. Now if you guys would actually listen, he’ll get us out of here.”

Looking pointedly at everyone, you start to explain. “There was a gate in Lover’s Lake, which we obviously found,” your arms wave behind you. “The same lake where Patrick died. Now, where else has a dead body been found?”

“Eddie’s trailer,” Nancy straightens, understanding where you’re going with this. Looking at Eddie, she asks him how far it is. 

“Seven miles.” 

Your head drops. “Why couldn’t you have lived closer?”

“I’m sorry I’m… poor?” Eddie looks at you incredulously. 

You flick a dismissive hand at him, but Robin cuts in between you two. “Nancy, I know your house here is, like, weirdly, creepily frozen in time and shit–”

“It’s what?” Obviously you missed some important details. 

Robin holds her hand up. “I’ll explain later. Anyways, haven’t you always had bikes?”

You and Nancy share a look, both thinking the same thing: the bikes would be perfect. That, and they’re kinda your only option at the moment. 

– 

Since you’re in no condition to bike (your thigh has only just stopped bleeding) and there’s only four bikes anyways, Steve has you wrap your arms around his chest and stand on his pegs. He claims it’s so that you can avoid putting any weight on your leg, but you honestly think he just wants you to hold him. Pressing your body close to his, you look around at the houses you pass.

In a strange, twisted way, it’s exhilarating biking through an Upside Down Hawkins. Everything, and yet nothing, is the same. The houses you pass are frozen in time, empty, ghostly. Robin, Nancy, and Eddie bike alongside you and Steve. The scene is almost reminiscent of the night you biked Will home, wind in your hair and the night sky before you. 

Everything has changed since then.

Somewhere along the route to Eddie’s, you bike past the Creel house. Your arms tighten instinctively around Steve. A chill runs through you, the house is just as haunting in the Upside Down as it is back in your universe. Your head throbs being so close to it, as if warning you, but Steve is turning into Eddie’s neighborhood before you can think much else of it. 

“That’s gotta be a Guinness World Record.” Robin throws her bike down, breathless. “Most miles traveled interdimensionally.”

Steve coughs, swatting at the particles in the air. “Just inhaled a bunch of that crap.”

“I’ve been trying not to think about how much of the Upside Down we’ve ingested since being here.”

“It’s stuck in my throat, Y/N.”

“Again, I’m trying not to think about that.”

Eddie opens his trailer door and, just as Dustin predicted, there’s a gate. It’s just like the one in Lover’s lake had been: illuminating red light, vines all around its edges. An open wound. 

“This is where Chrissy died.” Eddie stares up at the gate, which resides in the ceiling. He swallows heavily. “Like, right where she died.”

“I’m sorry.” Your hand finds Eddie’s arm. You don’t know much about what their relationship had been, but he seems to have cared about the girl a lot. 

Eddie gives you a tight lipped smile, his eyes shining slightly. As he looks at you, Robin sees something moving in the gate. “I think there’s something in there.”

Something starts to protrude from it, causing the gate to swell rapidly. The vines almost seem to snarl at the intrusion. An ominous, unsteady croak emits from the gate. The sound sets your nerves on edge and Steve shoves you behind him protectively. Hand on your knives, you raise them, bracing. 

The gate explodes, spewing liquid and vines everywhere. You all scream, jumping back, as something rips through the membrane-like material. Unable to tell what’s just happened, you squint up at the ceiling.

Nothing jumps out at you, no bats come to feast on your flesh. Finding Steve’s eye, you silently ask him if you should walk closer. Nodding, he grabs your hand, and together you creep towards the remains of the gate.

When you look up, you find Dustin’s smug, joyous face staring back at you. Only he’s upside down with Max, Lucas, and Erica, all just as in shock as you are.

You’ve never been more relieved to see them in your life. Dropping your hands to your knees, you bend over and finally breathe. “Oh, thank God.”

“No way…” Steve waves at them, and they wave right back. “Hi.”

“Dustin!” If your leg wasn’t hanging by a thread, you’d be jumping up and down right now. Instead, you opt for waving like a madman at your brother. The entire situation is so fucking bizarre, but you don’t even care anymore. “You did it!”

“I did it!” Dustin giggles. “Bada bada boom!”

After some heated discussions and a few arguments, Dustin and the others come up with a way to get the five of you out of the Upside Down. Using Eddie’s bed sheets as a makeshift rope had been the easy part. What caused nearly a fist fight between Max and Dustin had been figuring out a soft landing pad for you guys. 

“I, uh. Have a mattress?” Eddie finally suggested when he noticed Max’s fist clenching. 

She glared at him. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

“Well, I mean. It’s-uh. Minor details?”

But none of them had time to question Eddie’s sudden shyness regarding his mattress. Dustin got straight to work tying the bed sheets together while Max and Lucas worked on dragging the mattress out of Eddie’s room. 

However, the moment it landed on the ground, all eyes went to the giant stains on the bed. Cringing in disgust, you eye Eddie.

Seeing your disapproving look, he swallows. “Those stains are, uh…” He tries to come up with an excuse, but eventually he realizes it’s better to just accept defeat. “I don’t know what those stains are.”

“Would we want to know even if you knew?” You ask him, already knowing the answer.

“... Probably not.”

Dustin tosses the bed sheet rope up, or rather down, through the gate. “Not quite sure how these physics are gonna work, but here goes nothing.”

Miraculously, it lands perfectly in front of you. Dustin tugs at the rope before letting go of it completely. You gasp. The rope stands on its own, stiff but secure, and Dustin lets out a pleased laugh. “Abracadabra.”

“I’ve never understood physics.” You say, pulling at the rope. It doesn’t move. “But even I can admit that this is cool.”

Dustin high fives Erica and Robin steps up first. “Guess I’m the guinea pig.”

“Please be careful.” You tell her, already dreading your own ascent. Your shoulder still aches and you were never the best at climbing the rope for gym. You preferred soccer, track, anything that involved leg coordination. Not upper body. 

Robin slowly climbs up, and when her body hits the disgusting mattress back in your dimension, you let out a breath of relief. “That was kinda fun,” Robin giggles slightly.

Then Eddie stares at you, Steve, and Nancy. He waits for someone to move, obviously not wanting to be next. But when no one does, he shakes his head. “Alright, I guess I’ll go.”

Steve holds the rope steady and Eddie falls onto his mattress safely. He sits up, exhilarated. “That was fun.” He echoes Robin. 

Steve gestures for Nancy to go next. “I’ll help Y/N up after you’re done.”

She gives him an uncertain look, eyeing your injuries, and you try to smile at her reassuringly. “Go, I’ll be fine. Promise.”

Knowing it’s as good of an answer she’ll get from you, Nancy takes a deep breath. “See you on the other side.”

You grab her waist and help hoist her up alongside Steve. She’s swift, her strength impresses you. She’s almost reached the top before you hear the first chime. 

It’s loud, deafening. The chime of a grandfather clock.

Another chime follows, then a third, a fourth. It wracks your skull with its force. 

You turn, gasping, expecting to find the grandfather clock that Max had seen in her vision. Only you’re met with darkness. You can’t see anything, you can’t find a way out. You can’t feel Steve next to you, your hands try to find his in the dark, but all they’re met with is air. 

“What–” Panic chokes you. None of this is right, you don’t know where you are, you don’t know what’s happening and you can’t feel Steve and–

The sensation of sunlight kissing your face stops you. 

Your eyes open. You’re no longer in Eddie’s trailer. 

You’re outside, there’s sunshine all around you. In front of you is a field of dandelions, their sweet yellow reflects the gold of the sun above. The grass beneath your feet is soft, lush and green. A bee flies past your head and someone calls your name.

You’ve been here before. In the distance resides a small house on a hill. The blue door and white frames of your childhood home welcomes you. You’re back in Virginia. Someone calls your name again.

The voice is familiar. 

It’s your father, calling you home. 

The realization knocks all the air out of your lungs. None of this is real. You know it isn’t real, but to hear your father’s voice, so sweet and saccharine again, it makes you weak. But it isn’t real. Your legs begin to move, you’re running before you can think of anything else. 

This is a vision. The scent of oak trees and strawberries isn’t real. The wheat that skims your thighs as you run doesn’t exist. “This is a vision,” you try to talk to yourself, your fingers dig into your pockets for your walkman. 

You know you’re supposed to always have it on you, that’s what Dustin told you, but there’s nothing there. Panic swells within your chest once more. “No, please–”

Distracted as you look for your walkman, you don’t see the body in front of you.

Colliding into your father, he steadies you. “Woah, there.”

His calloused hands are rough and familiar. He’s laughing, his voice is the same gruff voice that used to sing you to sleep. Your father looks down at you and your entire body freezes when your eyes meet his. 

You haven’t seen him ever since you were twelve. He looks the same as the day he left. His smile is the same, the crooked teeth charming. Your father’s nose still points up ever so slightly. The only indication that he’s aged are the wrinkles that line his face, years of sunlight etching them. 

But it’s his eyes that hurt you the most. They’re still kind. 

“What are ya runnin’ from, ladybug?” Your father asks you, his southern drawl liquid honey to your ears. 

Tears build within you hearing the childhood nickname. You were his ladybug for as long as you could remember. When he used to call, he’d whisper the name over the phone as an apology for everything he’d done to you. 

Because you can’t help it, because you’ll never be able to do this again, you hug your father. He lets out a soft chuckle at the impact, his arms hold you as they’ve always done. Your face buries itself into his rough t-shirt.

You’re a little girl who needs her daddy right now. 

“I.. I missed you, daddy.” Voice breaking, you begin to cry. 

Your father’s palm rests against your hand. He hums, soothing the ache in your bones. “You know you can never outrun it.”

The words unsettle you, there’s something about them that causes you to pull away. “Outrun what–?” “The guilt, ladybug. It will always find you.” Your father’s smile twists into a sickening grimace. The muscles in his face conjoin, his eyes darken as his voice becomes gravel. Deeper. Until it isn’t your father’s voice anymore, but someone else's. “I will always find you.”

Too late do you realize that it’s Vecna who now has you. You start to scream, thrashing in your father’s arms to escape, but he only grips you harder. He’s laughing, but it’s no longer your father’s laughter. 

Suddenly you’re thrown into the lake behind you. You fall, screaming, as you descend deep into a pitch black void. Your arms reach out, you try to find anything to grab onto, but there’s nothing. It’s just endless emptiness. 

You land harshly on your back, all the air gone. You gasp, choke on whatever air remains in your body. The impact leaves you coughing, clawing at the ground beneath you to breathe. Soil scrapes under your nails, your palm gets cut on a root.

You’re in the woods. 

Scrambling to sit up, you realize you’re in the same part of the woods that Will went missing in. Fear cuts through your veins. Why would Vecna take you here?

“Will?” You’re on your feet now, cupping your hands over your mouth as you shout his name. Does Vecna have him? Have you lost him again? “Will!”

“He needed you that night.” Vecna’s voice taunts you, the sound like rocks grinding together. “Where were you?”

You’re running now. Branches cut your face as you break through them. You have to find Will. You can’t lose him again. You can’t do that to Jonathan, to Joyce and El and Dustin and Mike and everyone else. You’re the one who lost Will that night.

He had needed you. Isn’t that what Vecna said?

“Nancy!” Sobbing, you call for someone, anyone. But no one answers. Your vision blurs with tears, there’s someone running behind you. Chasing you. Terrified, you scream for the person you need the most. “Steve!”

Saying his name must trigger something, because suddenly the scene changes. You’re no longer in the woods. You’re on the ledge of someone’s roof, overlooking a window sill. A large, bay window that you’ve spent countless slow mornings residing on. 

Steve’s house. 

He’s standing in front of his bed, facing the window, facing you, but he doesn’t look at you. Not how he always does; his gaze lacks warmth. 

“Steve!” You pound on the glass, you try desperately to get him to acknowledge you, but he doesn’t. His eyes are on Nancy, who sits on the bed before him. He leans down, brushes her hair out of her face, before bridging the distance between them.

You watch as Steve kisses Nancy. He cups her chin the way he cups yours. Bile rises in your throat; you can’t turn away. Their kisses become heated, Steve is tugging at Nancy’s hair and her clothes. She tugs at him as well, he helps her remove his shirt.

Nancy’s lips trace the expanse of Steve’s neck and his eyes, once closed in bliss, now open. He looks right at you. 

“Did you really think I’d forget her, Y/N?” His voice digs into your ears. Nancy nips at his neck and he moans. He throws his head back, looks at you again. “I can’t. At least, not as easily as your dad forgot you.”

You stumble back, crying so hard you can barely breathe. Steve laughs seeing your heartbroken reaction. It’s cruel and awful. He’s cold. You’ve never known his voice to hold so much malice. Not towards you. Not towards anyone. 

He’s wrong. Steve doesn’t love Nancy, not anymore. Vecna is the one saying this, you know it isn’t Steve. He would never say any of this to you, he could never be so cruel to you. He loves you. You know he does. 

“N-no! This isn’t-this isn’t real–”

But the hatred in Steve’s eyes causes your foot to catch on the edge of the roof. You don’t have time to catch yourself; your body is weightless again, only this time it’s a much shorter fall. You land on concrete. Ripping your eyes open, there are domed walls around you. 

Nancy stands above you. 

Hyperventilating, you crawl away from her. You’re in Steve’s pool, only it’s empty, infested with vines, and your fingers stain the ground with blood. Everything in your body is screaming at you to run.

“Y/N–” Nancy tries to stop you, but you scream at her, kicking. She only barely avoids your fury. Holding her hands up, she lowers her voice, softens it. She’s crying, her terror the same as yours. “Y/N, it’s me, okay?”

Your body trembles with exhaustion. You close your eyes, tired of fighting. “Please be real.”

“I’m real.” Nancy swears to you, carefully reaching for you. When you allow her touch, she helps you stand up. 

The memory of her having sex with Steve is burned into your mind. You can’t look Nancy in the eye. She breathes heavily next to, looking around for a way out, when she sees something. A strangled cry leaves Nancy’s lips.

Barbara Holland’s corpse sits on the other side of the pool.

You cover your mouth with a gasp, choking slightly at the sight. Nancy cries out in pain, in grief, seeing her best friend’s body dismembered by vines. You stumble towards Nancy and hold her as she sobs. 

“Do you remember what you did, Nancy? Or have you already forgotten?” Vecna’s voice shakes the pool. “Don’t worry, I showed Y/N. When I kill someone… I never forget.”

A sob collapses in your chest. Barb’s death hadn’t been Nancy’s fault. Yet to place her in the same pool Barb was killed in, to show Nancy her corpse, is unrelenting cruelty. 

All around you, blood pours from the vents of the pool. It comes out quick, thick, at a dizzying speed. Nancy tugs at your hand and practically throws you up the ladder to escape. But when you reach the top, you’re met with a red hell.

It’s exactly how Max drew it.

Fragments of stairs, jagged pieces of wood, a grandfather clock, they all drift through the air painted with blood-red. Somewhere there’s screaming, the sound only drowned out by lightning. A clock ticks over and over again. Its metronome is maddening.

Nancy holds your hand and neither one of you lets go. Having nowhere else to go, you’re forced to walk down the stairs you arrived at. The clock chimes again and your heart stops.

“I see you’ve been looking for me, Nancy. And Y/N…” Vecna pauses, preying on you. “I’ve been watching you for quite some time.”

Everything stops.

“All the guilt, all the pain.” 

It comes to you in flashes. 

How Will used to smile at you, before his childhood was taken from him. Max’s blue eyes, shining with youth and happiness, before grief killed her. Billy, how he would be kind to your mother at the pool. Hopper, the way you’d bicker with him just to get him to smile.

It’s all gone because of you; you can’t remember how to breathe. 

Vecna feeds on your fear. “How fragile you’ve become… like a dandelion.” 

The wording, it’s too specific to not mean anything. Dandelions were once one of your favorite flowers. Before a nightmare from last summer changed everything. The dandelions had filled your mouth with razors and choked you. Someone called your name in the distance, they’d been too late to save you.

The dream had felt so real. You’d woken up with tears in your eyes.

And now you know it had been Vecna all along. Even back then. He’s been watching you for far longer than you realized. The realization chokes you, the fear overwhelms you. He’s been here all along.

Nancy yanks at your arm, you can barely hear her over the roaring in your head. “Y/N, listen to my voice.” 

She’s shaking you, trying to bring you back to her, but you’re lost. Hyperventilating, you struggle to catch your breath. You feel too vulnerable. Raw. Exposed. There are corpses strung up by vines in front of you. Fred’s broken jaw. Chrissy’s snapped neck. Patrick’s empty eye sockets. 

The same will happen to you. 

You’ve spent so long trying to be strong, trying to keep everyone safe. You’ve devoted your entire life to protecting others, helping them. But Vecna has been watching you for almost an entire year, maybe even longer, and you hadn’t noticed.

It’s why he’s targeted Max. He watched you take care of everyone you loved. Vecna watched you raise the girl. He knew it’d hurt you the most to lose her. It hadn’t been a coincidence. It’s all your fault. It’s always your fault. Will went missing because of you. Billy died because you hadn’t said anything. Max will die because you hadn’t seen the signs sooner. 

Nancy’s screams fall deaf on your ears. She shakes you, begs you to come back, but why should you?

This is all your fault. 

It’s always your fault. 

It’s always your fault. It’s always your fault. It’s always your fault. It’s always–

You feel your body lift. 

Everything fades to black.

-

⌑ series masterlist

⌑ if youd like to buy me a coffee ☕︎

⌑ thank you for reading ! feel free to like, comment, reblog, or send in an ask so we can chat <3

[healmyhrt]

could you do Matt x reader smut where reader wears something showy to her friends birthday party and Matt gets like turned on and you can take over the rest!

⌗ crush, m. sturniolo

matt x fem!reader

summary: matt has had a crush on you for the longest, and you’ve had strong feelings toward him too. after a summer fling with him, things turn awkward, and you both have a feeling of relief thinking that you’ll never see each other again… until your best friends birthday party.

disclaimers!: flirting, heavy making out, thigh riding, alcohol consumption, cursing, and use of y/n

a/n: guys question, is it technically “aftercare” if u don’t fuck??? like if you just js did oral shi or something idk 😣 anywho enjoy babes

i slowly creep into the dark entry way, removing my jacket as quietly as possible. i feel a hand tap my shoulder and i grip the fingers, trying to recognize who it could be.

“y/n?” a voice whispers. it was nick.

i reach in and hug him, squeezing tightly. i can feel him smiling against me. “hey, how are you?” i whisper back.

“good, you?” he replies, holding my hand and leading me through the dark hallway. “eh, so-so. is she here yet?”

a few friends and i were throwing a surprise party for my best friend, mia, she’s turning 21.

“she’ll be here in a few, but come on, everyone’s in here.”

i enter the dining room, seeing a crowd of some familiar and unfamiliar faces, candles lit in front of them.

i scan the group, looking at everyone, when my eyes come to an abrupt stop. there he was, matthew.

his blue eyes glistened behind the candlelight, and he stared right through it, straight at me. fuck.

i tap nick as he swivels around, handing me a candle.

“what the hell is he doing here?” i question. nick looks over at matt, then back at me. “um, he knows mia?”

i roll my eyes. nicks face changes and he raises an eyebrow. “have you two still not talked since the summertime?” i shuffle in place, looking at the floor.

“no…”

nick groans. “jesus. just—sort things out tonight, okay? you two can not ruin this night for mia. got it?” he says.

i nod, and glance over at matt, who was still staring.

chris sprints into the dining room, and catching his breath before speaking. “guys, they’re here!”

we all become quiet as the front door creaks open. i look up at nick who’s looking at me, trying not to smile.

mia slowly enters the dining room, a white blindfold tied gently over her freshly curled hair. she begins to untie it, and nick looks at everyone, holding up three fingers.

“3…”

“2…”

“1…”

“SURPRISE!” we all shout, seeing mia’s face. she immediately smiles, and holds her hands to her face.

“you guys!” she beams.

everyone rushes over, hugging her uncontrollably. i step back into the hallway, freeing myself from the crowd.

i sigh, looking over and seeing matt. he gives me a small smile, and i look the other way, turning toward the stairs.

it had been about 2 hours since we surprised mia, and now the entire house was packed. the small gathering had turned into a big party.

i had stayed holed up in mia’s room, drinking, as friends came and went, bringing me more and more.

now, i wasn’t drunk. they only brought me cans of sprite with a little bit of vodka in it. thats it.

and ive only had like 3 or 4 of them.

but i knew after a while id have to pee, and eventually leave mia’s room, placing myself back into the craziness that was downstairs.

i patt my hands dry on my favorite cardigan, shutting the bathroom door behind me. stepping down the steps into the chaos, i pass by multiple people making out on the steps.

i see mia at the bottom of the steps, and it gives me a sense of direction. she sees me and smiles immediately, running into my arms. “y/n!” she beams. i grin back.

“god, i feel like i haven’t seen you all night!” she grabs my forearm, dragging me into the living room. we stumble across a couple making out on the couch.

“can we sit here?” mia questions, with a smile.

they move over, and continue. “mia, im not sitting next to a horny ass couple.” i groan. she pulls me down next to her, and displays her legs across mine. “sooooo…”

i raise an eyebrow. “so, what?” she giggles, biting her bottom lip. “did you see him?” i cross my arms.

“you invited him? god—mia!” i scoff.

she laughs. “y/n, you two need to sort things out. tonight. okay? i can’t have two of my closest friends not being able to stay in the same room as one another.”

“you sound like nick.” i reply. she smirks. “well, yeah. it was our plan all along.” i playfully push her away with a little smile.

“look, please just talk to him.” she says, giving me a look.

i sit in silence fidgeting with my fingers. she places a hand on my fingers, and i look up at her. “okay.”

she claps enthusiastically, standing. “yay, y/n!”

i laugh. “im gonna go find myself another drink. want anything?” i shake my head. she blows me a kiss, and walks off, her dress swaying gracefully with each step.

i sigh, standing up. i look over at the couple next to me.

“you guys can—y’know—do your thing.” i gesture to the sofa. they give me a thumbs up, and immediately lay down, continuing. gross.

i make my way outside, onto the front porch.

i sit, flinching at the cold pavement against the back of my thighs. my skirt was very short, and i didn’t have any tights.

the door opens and shuts behind me, and i turn around to meet a very familiar face. “matthew.” i say. “y/n.”

he walks past me, and unlocks his car. i watch him stop, and turn around. “wanna—come with?” i give him a confused expression.

“we need more ice. im just gonna run to a gas station.”

i shrug, and stand, walking over to his car. matt opens the door for me, and i give him a small smile, stepping in.

after waiting in the car for a while, matt finally exits the gas station, carrying the last bag of ice. about time.

he gets in the car, wiping his now wet hands against his jeans. “took you long enough.” i tease. matt chuckles.

“i know, usually doesn’t take me that long to get my hands this wet.” he smirks. i shake my head, looking out the window, attempting to hold my laugh in.

“let’s just go.”

the drive back was silent. (minus the ice tumbling around in the backseat.) we caught almost every red light, and matt and i would just shift in our seats, trying not to make eye contact with one another.

as we pull in the driveway. i unbuckle my seatbelt, trying to get out of this situation as quickly as possible.

“so, we aren’t gonna talk about it? at all?”

i knew it.

i turn around, and sigh. “fine. let’s talk, matt.” i say with a long stare. he clenches his jaw, and rests his hands on the steering wheel.

“we had sex. big deal.” i throw my hands up in the air dramatically. matt scoffs and looks at me, almost as if he was about to cry. “it was a big deal to me.” he stares.

i purse my lips together. “well, it doesn’t seem like it, seeing as you lack common communication skills.”

“i wanted to text you, or call you—just hear your voice at all after that night, but i was too afraid.” matt looks out the window beside him, and gently taps the steering wheel with his fingertips.

my face softens, and i slowly reach out to the place a hand on his. but before i even reach him, i pull away.

“why were you afraid, matt?” i question. i was genuinely curious to hear his answer, too. matt had gone full no contact with me after that night, all because he was afraid? it just didn’t make sense.

“because i like you.”

my eyes widened as the words left his mouth. i didn’t know what to say—how to even respond. it was insanity.

did i like matt? i mean, i guess.

no—sure—yes.

yes, i do like matt. i just get my feelings mixed up and lost in my mind. i mean, could we really work?

“y-you do?” i stutter out. matt turns around, and im left to drown in his eyes. he softly nods, and i form a smile.

i look down at my hands and begin to fidget with my rings, swallowing before i speak. “i like you too.”

i look up to see a smiling matt, and i grin back.

i sigh, looking out the window. “look at us, using the word ‘like’ to describe our feelings. what’re we, five?” i laugh, making him chuckle.

i turn back toward him, and matt immediately smashes his lips onto mine. i lean in, him caressing my cheeks.

matt swings an arm around my waist, fully pulling me onto his lap. i smile against his lips, reaching down and unbuckling his seatbelt beneath me.

matt bucks his hips up at the feeling of my fingers on him. i feel his bulge rub against my bare thigh, and he pulls away.

“s-sorry. is that weird?”

i shake my head. “not at all. it just shows that you really do like me.” i say with a smile, placing a hand on his jaw, and pulling him into me again.

matt takes off my cardigan, tossing it in the passengers seat. he places his hands on the seam of my miniskirt, and stops, pulling away. “can i?”

pushing my lips back onto his, i mumble “yes”, and matt pulls away again. i sigh irritably, and he gives me a look.

“use your words if you want this.”

i bite my bottom lip, matt’s eyes on them. i bite the inside of my cheek, and look out the window. matt places a soft hand on my jaw, turning me to look at him.

“hey, if you don’t want to do this, we can just head back inside. i’ll just be glad that we’re good again.” he smiles.

i nod, and he raises an eyebrow. “i want to do this.”

matt’s smile turns into a smirk, and he pulls my skirt up to my waist, places both hands on my ass. i smash my lips back onto his, smiling against him.

matt tightens the grip on my hips, leading them. i slowly begin to grind against his clothed bulge. matt pulls away, breathing heavily against the side of my face.

i continue, matt now kissing down my neck, struggling to contain himself. he’s practically digging his fingers into my skin, guiding my hips.

i pierce my lip with my teeth, trying to stop the moans that threatened to escape my mouth. “matt…”

“almost…” he pushes himself against me, making the sensation even more intense. my panties are probably a leaking mess on him as my eyes begin to water from the stimulation.

matt slows to a stop, and he catches his breath. i breathe heavily into his neck, my mascara smudging on his skin.

he pulls me off of him to take a look at my face.

“are you okay? was it too much?” he questions, genuine worry taking over his expression. i wipe the smudged mascara off of my face, smiling at him. “i’m okay, matt.”

he pulls me in, hugging me tightly. “i’m so glad we’re good now. i’ve missed you so much, y/n.” i grin widely.

i pull away, sniffling. we just stare at eachother, and i look down, my skirt still at my waist. “we should probably fix ourselves before we go back inside.” i say through a breathy chuckle.

“yeah.” matt replies. i climb off of his lap, pulling down my skirt in the passenger seat. matt looks down at his jeans, a wet spot on his crotch. i stifle my laughter, matt turning to look at me.

“i can’t go inside like this.” he says through a laugh.

“at least they’re dark wash denim.” i shrug, still laughing. he scoffs, and attempts to wipe it off.

“matt, it’s not going anywhere. it’ll be fine, it’s pretty dark inside anyway.” i reassure. he looks up at me, a small smile on his lips.

we climb out of the car, matt grabbing the slightly melted ice. “probably could’ve chosen a better time to do that.” he jokes.

we enter the foyer of the house, mia meeting us at the door. “soooo, are you two good now?” she asks eagerly.

i look at matt, and he gives me a smile.

“yeah, we’re good.”

[ohmtoff]

Creep

Nick Sturniolo x OC smut

Summary: Nick tried to take a picture of a hot stranger in the grocery store, but when his flash went off, Ethan, the hot man in question, used Nick’s clumsiness for his own advantage

Contains: Anal sex, bottom!nick, top!oc, oral sex, spanking (very minor, not explicit), unsafe sex, barebacking, unconsensual photo taking, fingering, rimming, hair pulling, light dom/sub, dirty talk, slight crying during sex, overstimulation

Word count: 5,078 words

Disclaimers: minors dni. will contain grammar mistakes, english isn't my first language. this is FICTION, always use protection during sex, never take a pic of a stranger without their consent.

a/n: this was partly made bc i cant get over the idea of larray tara and nick as a trio like IM GNA LOSE IT. the tiktok talked about was (https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSF8YxXn6/) its so funny i need to include it.

——————————————————————————

Nick laughs, reading Larray’s last message about a tiktok he found of a guy pretending to be called gay in middle school and his friend defending him, both of them relating to that video strongly.

He tries to reign in his grin, as he’s on a supermarket trying to buy groceries, and laughing to yourself is just plain weird, so he forces himself to press his lips together as Larray and Tara sent jokes that make his belly hurt. He briefly takes his eyes off the string of messages, hearing a loud cough, and clocks grey sweatpants on strong thighs. He’s interested, immediately, checking out the rest of the tall boy who is standing next to him by the snack aisle, holding onto his cart. A black short sleeved compression shirt defining his strong chest and bicep, complimenting bouncy and slightly curly brown hair, a face adorning deep brown eyes that could pass for both handsome or pretty, and veiny hands that make Nick’s mind wander. He texts the group.

jacob elordi brainrot

Nick: hottest. guy. ever. in the grocery store

Larray: ???? not possible, I’m at home 

Tara: ew

Larray: rude

Tara: anyways

Tara: PHOTO

Larray: how hot?

Nick: grey sweats and compression shirt hot

Larray: PHOTO

Tara: PHOTO

Nick: I can’t take a pic guys that’s creepy

Larray: PHOTO

Tara: PHOTO

Nick: No

Tara: come oooonnnn PHOTO

Nick: ugh fine

It didn’t take much for them to convince Nick because he knows he actually really wants to take a picture of the hottie to his right, for scientific purposes of course. Nick makes sure his phone is on silent before he angles it, tipping it back a little as he hopes he captures most of the guy. He tries to look at others on the store, rather than focus on what he’s doing, thumb moving around where he thinks the snapshot button is until – flash – the bright white light of his camera lights up the entire back case of his phone. 

Nick feels his heart catch in the back of his throat, and he’s slow in moving his hand, the immediate humiliation making him freeze. He can’t help but look at the stranger, and he sees how he takes in Nick’s obvious creeper shot, Nick feeling the anxiety coarse through him at lightning speed.

He’s fearful as the stranger frowns, stepping over to him, and Nick slightly backs up immediately.

“I’m - ”

“Did you just take a photo of me?” the stranger asks, and Nick thinks his face may melt, the shame of his actions making him lie, shaking his head silently.

“You didn’t?” the stranger asks, even more handsome, prettier, up close, but he’s clearly unimpressed by Nick’s rudeness, and Nick is panicking, brain drawing blanks.

“I…” Nick gapes, looking for the words, “I’m sorry.”

“Why?” the stranger demands forcefully, grabbing Nick’s phone, Nick gasping at that, but too embarrassed to fight it. The boy doesn’t look through Nick’s phone, just holds it and stares at Nick accusingly, Nick having to shrug, truly embarrassed and he feels pairs of eyes on his back judging him. 

“Come with me,” the stranger demands, still holding Nick’s phone, making his way to ut of the store, both of their carts abandoned. Nick doesn’t have much of a choice if he values his phone, and he follows, ashamed.

“I am sorry,” he pants, keeping up with the other boy’s pace, “can I have it back?”

The stranger slows down slightly, starting to look through the phone. Nick realises with horror that his phone isn’t locked, as he kept the camera open, and he reaches to grab his phone back, but the stranger is tall, holding it higher as he clicks on the incoming messages.

Larray: PHOTO!!! What’s with the silence girl? You better be sucking his dick!

Tara: PHOTO

The stranger scrolls up, Nick groaning in embarrassment, watching him read Nick’s earlier messages about how hot he is.

“Seriously creepy,” he shakes his head, deep voice just making it even worse as Nick cringes, “you’re perving on me in the store and taking my photo without my consent?”

“I’m genuinely sorry,” Nick said, his voice tinged with guilt, “I’ll delete it immediately and leave.”

The boy is doing something on his phone and Nick attempts to grab it back, but still, he’s too slow, still not tall enough.

“Ah ah,” the stranger tuts, “don’t worry. I was just sending your friends the creepy photo.” Nick starts to feel a little sick with anxiety, just wanting this to be over. He is never, ever listening to both his friends again. He’s frustrated and desperate, and in a fit of anger, he flounces off, “keep the fucking phone,” he rages, regretting it instantly, but he has no choice but to continue walking, leaving his very badly needed phone in the hands of another man. You idiot, you’re a public figure, what if he does something to your socials, he screams internally

“Hey!” Nick hears, “come back here.” He stops, and looks at the stranger with anxiety, his face hot from the embarrassment as he awkwardly walks back. Nick is confident that now his phone will be given back to him and he is secretly relieved, knowing he can’t afford to walk away and leave his public image in the hands of a stranger. He isn’t sure how he’d explain that to his brothers.

“You could make it up to me,” the boy suggests, and Nick looks at him properly, the smirk on his mouth and the way his eyes move, seemingly resting on Nick’s crotch.

“W – what?” Nick stammers, blushing, and the guy shrugs.

“You think I’m hot,” he states, “I think you’re hot, too.”

Nick chuckles nervously, unsure, a little scared this is some bizarre prank, but the boy is so sincere, nothing about him suggesting this is a joke. Nick has seen the look he has in his eyes in many boys and men, who Nick has flirted with and fucked before, but this is the first time Nick’s ever felt so drawn to another.

“I live near here,” the boy gestures, “I can think of a few things you can do for me to make up for your lack of manners.”

Nick wants to tell him to fuck off, wipe the slightly arrogant smirk off his face, but the confident way the guy stands, waiting on Nick’s response, his certainty, is making Nick’s dick twitch in interest, in want.

“Whatever,” the man smiles, casually slipping the phone back into Nick’s pocket before shrugging again, sauntering off, leaving Nick stood in the middle of the parking lot, torn between walking away – and he knows, he knows, kicking himself for it – or running after this guy desperately, letting him know how badly he wants him to make good on his promises.

He’s about to disappear when Nick makes a snap decision and runs after him, panting as he catches up, the boy turning to look at him from his car as he hears footsteps, bursting out in a laughter, his grin taking up his entire face. Nick readjusts his sweater.

“I’m horny, don’t – don’t get cocky,” he mutters, but the other boy doesn’t say a word, just makes Nick feel dizzy with a long look as he opens the passenger seat of his car and motion for Nick to get inside. 

“Nick, right?” he asks, as he hops in and shut the door of the drivers seat, and Nick nods, assuming he saw his name on the messages, “I’m Ethan.”

Nick was going to respond but his eyes catches the way Ethan’s seatbelt tightens on his pecs and Nick almost drooled. His eyes traveled upward to see this adonis-like man smirking and Nick swiftly turned his head towards the road. The drive to the apartment was short and thankfully not awkward due to the music playing, but Nick was still sweating even with the air conditioner on because oh my god he’s so fucking hot, is that his huge dick print on his sweatpants? Fuck, his veins are so visible why are his fingers so LONG? that shit can reach my tonsi-

His thoughts were interrupted by the car finally parked at the other man’s house. Both of them walked towards the door with haste and no words exchanged, eyes focused on going inside.

Ethan unlocked the door and let Nick in, the latter unable to get a word out before Ethan’s mouth flew towards his, and he’s harsh and fast and demanding, so Nick matches it, kissing Ethan like he needs it, and maybe he does. Ethan is shoving him into what Nick assumes is his bedroom, pulling off Nick’s sweater, as Nick yanks that heavenly tight shirt, until they meet Ethan’s bed and Ethan throws him down on it. He watches, heart racing, as Ethan pulls down his jeans, pulling at them forcefully, yanking them off as Nick helps him, pulling him back down for a kiss. Nick’s never known someone kiss this way; unyielding and demanding as he grabs Nick’s head and devours him, Nick pulling back at Ethan’s tangled hair, until Ethan grabs him wrists and pins them down.

Nick can’t help but moan, his dick hard in his briefs, because Ethan is pressing all his buttons right now. He hates the self-satisfied grin on Ethan’s smug, pretty face, but there’s no denying Nick loves it rough, which Ethan clearly does too.

“Like that, sweetheart?” Ethan asks, tongue running over his bottom lip, Nick watching it’s every moment, groaning in response, Ethan’s large hands still wrapped around delicate wrists, still pinning Nick down. Nick is fully hard and needy now, Ethan letting go of his wrists to grip each side of his face and bruise him with a kiss, Nick making the most of his new found freedom by gripping Ethan’s shoulders, nails digging in.

He’s a mess already, the curly haired man moving harsh kisses to his neck and chest as he moves down, the kisses becoming wetter, sloppier, Nick whimpering as Ethan ghosts over his clothed dick, mouthing at him teasingly.

“Please,” Nick whispers, but Ethan either doesn’t hear or ignores it, pressing feather light kisses across him, Nick beginning to peel his briefs off only to have his hands batted away.

“Do that again and I’ll tie you up,” Ethan warns, and Nick’s cock jumps at the tone in his voice, obeying, hands grabbing fistfuls of Ethan’s duvet instead to stop them from straying. Ethan stops, pushing Nick encouraging so his head is propped up, and he has little choice except to look at Ethan as he mercifully begins to strip him off his briefs. Nick’s toes curl as they’re discarded and Ethan is back between his legs, Nick waiting for the inevitable lick, looking down at Ethan as he’s forced to wait.

“What?” he asks, knowing his face is pink and he’s far gone, Ethan looking at him with playful eyes as he spreads Nick’s legs even further apart, leaning down, finally, Nick thinks, to touch his dick, but Ethan presses wet kisses and soft bites to the inside of Nick’s right thigh, moving up as he gets closer to Nick’s dick, nudging his balls with his nose and Nick is going to pass out from the feel of Ethan’s skin right there, from feeling his tongue and his little huffs of breath, whimpering embarrassingly loud as Ethan finally licks a long stripe up his dick to the tip, suckling the pre-cum collected there before he stops.

“Ethan,” Nick begs, and Ethan does the same to his left, Nick sure he’s intent on leaving bite marks on his fleshy thighs where there’s plenty for Ethan to sink his teeth into, Nick wondering if it’s possible to come from this. He’s obeying Ethan’s no touching rule, for now, and it is torture, before Ethan repeats this special form of hell – licking from Nick’s balls up to the tip of his cock, in one long, slow lick – flicking his tongue over the head, and pulling away. “This – I can’t do this,” Nick moans, “please just, give me…”

Ethan shakes his head, and Nick falls quiet, until he feels the blessed tight heat of Ethan’s mouth around his cock, Ethan sucking his dick perfectly, swirling his tongue around the head as he comes up, Nick crying out, trying his best to hold off, to wait.

“Ethan, I’m – I - ” he whines, Ethan stopping, quick and elegant as he leans up and kisses Nick’s mouth, “what’s wrong, baby?”

“Let me,” Nick gasps, trying to push Ethan down, “I want to do it to you.”

He does, too, because Ethan’s sweatpants are still on and he needs them off, wants to see Ethan’s dick and taste it in his mouth. Nick loves sucking cock, loves the feel of it in his mouth and the taste of come, and he’s good at it, wants to make Ethan whimper in the way Ethan’s made him shake.

“Yeah? You like sucking dick?” Ethan asks, unyielding, sadly, still looming over Nick and Nick gives up on trying to change their positions, not exactly hating this one, Ethan grabbing his bitten thighs as he attacks Nick’s mouth and neck with his soft lips.

“Yeah,” Nick grins, “of course.”

“Why should I let you suck me off?” Ethan asks, letting Nick’s thighs drop as he keeps Nick pinned down, kissing parts of Nick’s face that Nick doesn’t think anyone has ever kissed, always coming back to his mouth, his neck, moving to his collarbone, shoulder, biting. Nick is going to look like he’s been in a fight. Matt and Chris will have a field day when he finally turns up at home.

“Um, because – I’m great?” Nick asks, frowning, wondering what kind of weirdo turns down a blowjob, and Ethan stops so he can look at Nick, Nick continuing to be bowled over by the way Ethan’s eyes seem to burn into his skin.

“What makes you so great, pretty boy?” Ethan rasps, and Nick brings his nails down Ethan’s back.

“I look good with a cock in my mouth,” Nick teases, “and, after all, you did say I need to make it up to you.”

“You need to, don’t you?” Ethan grins, then moving so that he straddles Nick’s waist, Nick helping him pull down his sweats, Ethan standing briefly to get the fabric off his feet and boxers off before he’s shuffling up, Nick still propped up nicely by the large pillows. Nick attempts to not given Ethan the satisfaction of his astonishment at how large Ethan’s dick is, but he fails.              

“Still feeling confident, baby?” Ethan asks, hand wrapping around his cock as he plays with himself, jerking off, and Nick can’t help but lick his lips in anticipation, nodding, while he’s nervous he’s excited, knowing Ethan’s dick is going to fill him up properly, that he’ll feel the thick head knock at the back of his throat and makes his eyes water. He’s hungry for it. Ethan moves closer, knees over Nick’s shoulder as his big hand plants against the wall and his other hand hangs onto his headboard. Nick opens his mouth, ready for it, desperate for it, but he’s patient, waiting for Ethan’s say so, and Ethan makes slow, deliberate movements, wiping the leaking tip of his cock on Nick’s mouth and his cupid’s bow.

“Good boy for waiting,” Ethan praises, and Nick’s dick jumps, “you can suck it now, baby.”

Nick takes as much as he can, which is over half, but not all of it, and sucks in a hollow motion, moving back up before he forces himself to take every inch, down to Ethan’s balls, and pulls back, spluttering.

“Hey,” Ethan says, taking Nick by the chin, “take it easy, baby, don’t choke.”

“M’sorry,” Nick whispers, embarrassed, wanting to be good, to hear Ethan’s praises once more, and he’s easier with it this time, taking Ethan into his mouth and sucking him properly, rather than racing to get the entire dick inside him, and he can enjoy this, sucking Ethan at a nice, fast pace, but not too fast, getting off to the weight of Ethan’s dick and the smell of him, Ethan silent but present, running his thumbs over Nick’s cheekbones as Nick sucks his dick, happy and contented.

He mewls in protest when Ethan grabs his hair and pulls him off, trying to follow Ethan’s dick, not ready to stop, but Ethan isn’t interested, easily flipping Nick over so he’s face down on the bed. Nick waits as the pillows are wrenched from him, Ethan lifting him like a ragdoll as he puts them under Nick’s hips, Nick’s ass higher than before. Nick’s feels like he’s on fire, his skin aflame, pale but also pink with the heat, and he braces himself for Ethan’s fingers, surprised when Ethan covers him with his own body, kissing his neck.

“You’re so hot,” Ethan growls, mouth on Nick’s jaw, and Nick is sure Ethan is trying to actually eat him, “as soon as I saw you get on that aisle, the first thing I thought was, I want to fuck that boy,” Ethan smiles, Nick moaning as Ethan continues licking him, “saw your ass and thought, I bet he loves riding dick.”

Nick all but whimpers, pushing back, needy, and Ethan shows compassion, bringing his hand past Nick’s waist to curve over Nick’s ass, gripping at his hip.

“Do you? Love riding cock?” Ethan pants.

“Yeah,” Nick says, pushing his ass back to feel Ethan’s dick against it, “want me to ride you?”

“Patience, baby,” Ethan demands, pulling Nick over to kiss him, Nick moving with Ethan, not expecting the disappointed moan when Ethan leaves him, moving down and spreading Nick’s legs further apart. Nick keeps his hands up, mouth open and wet on his left hand, gripping the duvet with his other hand, and he trembles as Ethan spreads his ass open, crying out as he feels Ethan’s thumb tease over his rim, pressing down and ever so slightly inwards, teasing, always.

“I’m not a virgin,” Nick says throatily, hoping Ethan will speed up at that, the way he’s playing with Nick’s ass slow and gentle but mind melting at the same time, and Ethan just laughs at that, slapping Nick’s ass playfully with his other hand.

“I didn’t think you were,” Ethan says, voice loud in the silence of the apartment, “I still wanna take my sweet time.”

Nick whines as Ethan continues to give him something but not everything, loud as Ethan slips and pushes a finger inside of him, Nick stretching his legs, his toes, in a heavenly trance as the man explores him. He feels Ethan move, and then hears the squirt of lube, feels another finger join the first, and he gasps as Ethan scissors them, pulling them to the rim, almost fully out, as his thumb makes the gentlest of scrapes on his perineum, to his balls. Nick moans out on his hand, practically drooling.

He panics as he feels Ethan’s fingers disappear, not wanting this to be over, throwing his head back as he searches for an answer.

“Turn back around, baby,” Ethan insists, not looking at Nick, transfixed on his ass. He immediately obliges, feeling his brain mush and fill with Ethan Ethan Ethan. He feels like it’s been hours but he knows that’s untrue, and he’s ready to beg for it, for Ethan to open him again and slide his big cock inside him, but he doesn’t have to say anything as Ethan spreads him before dipping down. Nick all but screams as Ethan’s tongue licks across the rim of his hole, wet and rough. Nick instinctively tries to move forward, but he can’t; he’s facedown and Ethan’s hands are alternate from his hips to his asscheeks, spreading them again, as he eats Nick out. The rough texture of Ethan’s tongue, the way he presses his big, puffy lips on Nick’s rim is almost enough to make Nick sob. He’s holding it together, just thrusting as much as he can with the pillows underneath him and when he moves his forehead, he notices how sweaty he is, the back of his hands shining.

He yelps as Ethan pushes his tongue inside his hole and brings his hand up to the base of Nick’s spine, pressing his thumb inside of Nick to keep him slightly open. Nick is lost, utterly ruined, shook by how this stranger knows his body better than he does, whining as Ethan keeps his face buried in his ass; not for one-minute hesitating or slowing down as he eats Nick out as passionately as he kisses his mouth.

“I’m – Ethan - ,” he begs, knowing he’s a few well timed thrusts from Ethan’s tongue and fingers away from coming on the pillows beneath him, Ethan pulling his fingers out with a clear, wet pop, removing his tongue too, not before he sinks his teeth into one of Nick’s asscheeks. Nick is wrecked, his body tingling, his thighs burning from Ethan’s sharp teeth, a wetness between his legs like he’s never felt and an ache in his balls that is begging for release.

“You’re perfect,” Ethan assures him, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, Nick looking at him longingly over his shoulder, “what do you want, baby?”

“You,” Nick moans, pushing himself back, wanting Ethan’s cock in him, “please, Ethan.”

“Mmm,” Ethan muses, and Nick is pleased to see he’s also hot, pink, sweat linging on his forehead from exertion, Nick yelping as Ethan brings his hand down on Nick’s ass, playful but enough to tan it, “turn around.”

Nick does, fairly weak now and desperate, beyond desperate, for his orgasm to tear through him and leave him blind and gasping. Ethan throws away the pillows carelessly, grabbing Nick’s hips and bringing him down, as he lubes up his dick and presses the head against Nick’s hole. Nick nods, and Ethan begins to push, Nick inhaling, mouth open, as he feels the familiar burn of a nice, thick cock pressing inside of him. Ethan is slow but intense, forcing Nick’s thighs up as he makes his way in, Nick groaning, a little high pitched towards the end when he feels Ethan is fully in. He lets one of Nick’s legs drop, apparently unable to leave Nick’s face or hair alone, before he begins to fuck Nick, gently at first.

“You naughty boy,” Ethan whispers, “is this what you wanted, huh?”

“Yeah,” Nick begs, voice broken, “god, please, give it to me.”

Ethan doesn’t waste time. Nick lets go of any dignity he was hoping to keep, moaning and whimpering with every single thrust Ethan makes. Ethan takes Nick like Nick belongs to him, like this is his right, to spread Nick wide and to fuck him, hips snapping into hips as Ethan clings to him tightly, Nick feeling Ethan’s dick so deep inside him, touching places he’s never felt anyone touch, his vision clouding over.

“Ethan,” Nick sobs, overwhelmed, Ethan slowing down, holding Nick open by his thighs as he pulls his cock out, Nick horrified.

“Ethan! Please! No! I’m sorry, I’m fine, I’m ok, please give it to me,” Nick begs, now losing his self-respect along with his long-gone dignity, feeling on the edge of tears. Ethan can’t leave him like this, can’t bring him to the brink of such pleasure to stop, it’s too cruel, Ethan once again flipping him over so now Nick is on his stomach. He cries out as Ethan slides straight back in, pulling Nick so Nick is on his knees, his upper body stretched out, Ethan’s big hands on both hips, slamming into him, the wet sound of slapping skin obscene alongside Nick’s enthusiastic cries and Ethan’s panting.

Nick is dripping with sweat, sliding off his own arms every time he tries to rest his head, yelping as Ethan yanks him up by his hair.

“Yeah? This what you need, Nick?” he asks, grunting, and Nick moans his agreement, unable to do much else. The forced stretch of his neck is delicious, Ethan not letting his pace drop for a moment, setting a punishing and perfect speed, Nick’s leaking cock a mess as he feels his balls tighten, knowing he’s finally, finally going to lose control and feel that blissful high.

“Want you to come like this,” Ethan says, slapping his ass again, “want you to come from getting fucked.” Nick can’t say anything, can’t even nod, because Ethan’s still pulling his hair as he slams in, quickening his almost reckless pace, Nick only concentrating on that one thing, that one feeling. Ethan is hitting his spot, perfect and fast and desperate and with one last yank of Nick’s hair, he is coming, begging and groaning, babbling a mixture of Ethan and God, blacking out as he does. 

He’s beyond over-stimulated, debauched and destroyed as Ethan follows him, letting go of Nick’s hair to cling onto his hips and fuck him with a few last, sprinting thrusts, Nick gasping as he feels Ethan fill him with come, warm and thick, Ethan crying out loudly as well, collapsing on top of Nick.

“Fuck,” Ethan groans into Nick’s hair, “holy fuck.”

“Yeah,” Nick agrees, still too weak to open his eyes or speak.

Ethan kisses the back of his neck before he pulls out his dick, Nick cringing as he hears the wet sounds, feeling Ethan fall out of him, and he’s mildly disgusted when Ethan rocks back onto his knees, opening Nick’s ass again, looking down at his wet, come filled ass.

“Ethan,” Nick accuses, feeling his face heat up Ethan further, Ethan just smirking, proud of the mess he’s created, Nick sore and sensitive as Ethan plays with him a little, whimpering as he feels some come drip out. Ethan laughs at Nick's embarrassment, leaning over and scrambling around some bedside drawers. Nick gasps as he feels coolness on his ass, Ethan clearly wiping him clean.

Ethan flips back down next to Nick, Nick still curled into the pillow, not shy but very aware of his sweaty, exhausted, fucked-out look. Ethan runs his fingers through red hair, not tugging this time, and he leans in, kissing Nick in a way that betrays his previous rough and ready treatment. Nick responds softly, kissing back.

“You ruined me,” Nick gasps, still numb, and Ethan stifles a giggle, “you ruined me,” he retorts. They lie like this for a few precious minutes, Ethan still excited as he sits up, ruffling his hair before he fishes around for something, Nick half watching out of the corner of his eye when he sees Ethan hold out Nick’s phone like he’s won a prize.

“Unlock it,” Ethan says, handing it to Nick, who does it without question. Ethan scrolls, finding the groupchat

The chat after Ethan sent a photo of himself went into a frenzy, a long conversation between his two friends going about how hot he is.

Ethan giggles at it, and Nick thinks he’s quite beautiful, pretty brown eyes and that sinful mouth and a tongue that Nick wants to feel a thousand times more.

Nick frowns as Ethan types, lazily trying to grab it back but missing entirely.

“What are you typing? Ethan?”

“I’m saying… ‘he’s just been balls deep inside me’,” Ethan cackles, and Nick shoots up at that, grabbing his phone, seeing the exact words sent by ‘Nick’ in the chat.

“Fuck!” he says, “Ethan!”

He settles back down, cringing as he sees the messages from Ethan's first text fly in, making Ethan laugh loudly and Nick cringe but smile all the same.

jacob elordi brainrot

Tara: HOLY FUCKKKK

Larray: u little SLUT

Larray: how big is he?

Tara: NICK FINALLY GOT DICK GUYS IM SO PROUD OF HIMM 😭😭😭

Larray: ANSWER ME RN

Ethan snatches it back, taking Nick by surprised then takes a snap of them, Nick hiding half his face under the duvet, Ethan looking far too pleased with himself.

“You look so cute,” Ethan says, and Nick’s stomach summersaults again, watching Ethan send the picture, waiting for the instant replies.

His phone pinged constantly after the photo was sent, Nick can imagine what kinds of debauchery his two friends are yapping about the situation.

“Your friends are funny,” Ethan laughs, putting the phone aside, and Nick is over his initial embarrassment, especially as Ethan cuddles into him, letting Nick rest in the crook of his neck. He feels Ethan’s arm around him and kisses into his hair so he sneaks an arm around the other, hugging his waist close, enjoying the feel of a smile against his forehead.

“They got me laid, so, yeah, they’re ok,” Nick says into Ethan’s chest, Ethan playing with his hair as he mutters, “they got you completely fucked – ruined – I think you said.”

“Shit, let it go,” Nick teases.

“You’ve had better, baby?” Ethan checks, and Nick wants to lie, to tease, to flirt, but he has no energy and it’s preposterous to think he's had better than this. The sex was magnificent, electric, and Nick is still buzzing from it, wondering if he’ll ever come down from it.

“No,” he says shyly, honestly, “you?”

“No, shit. I thought so, but you were something else,” Ethan praises, and Nick preens under his compliments and praise, flushing from pride rather than embarrassment this time around.

“You’re gonna stay, yeah?” Ethan asks, and Nick assumed he was. It feels natural, being here, like this, with Ethan. Nick nods into Ethan’s chest, and Ethan hugs him tighter, promising they’ll chill and order food later, Nick can stay and they’ll watch films.

“Maybe you can make good on your word later,” Ethan growls, “and ride me, bounce on my dick, huh?”

“I can’t even think about any physical activity right now,” Nick sighs dramatically, Ethan tickling his ear. Nick has his eyes closed but he can feel Ethan’s huge, beautiful smile, the visual of it imprinted in his brain. He’s already thinking about it though, climbing on top of Ethan and sitting back on his dick, rolling his hips.

“Okay, sweetheart,” Ethan said, and Nick snuggles into him, making a mental note to thank his friends when he next sees them. He’s sore but satisfied. All he needs is a nap, some food, and then he thinks he’ll enjoy showing Ethan exactly how good he is.

[chasedeys]

hello again i have another fic concept and am very curious about your thoughts

sooo seeing ja’marr with his kid (cutest thing in the world btw) made me think about him, for whatever reason, asking joe to babysit for him one day. and joe is good with kids but probably doesn’t have a lot of experience taking care of them? idk. i just think he’d panic a bit at first and then he’d realize it’s not that bad

but what i was really thinking about is when ja’marr comes back he finds both joe and the kid asleep on the couch and they aren’t even together at this point but it makes ja’marr fall even more in love bc he sees his two fav people together like that and it’s just such a soft sweet moment <3

GRAHHHH the way im still trying to reply to your last reply to the fwb au 😭 but i adoreeeee the image of them with kids so much thank youuu for giving me the chance (yet again) to yap about this oml i ran with this i apologize in advance:

joe and ja'marr both love kids sooooo much you can see it every time they interact with them!! but the thing is I've never seen joe actually hold up a child which is kind of impressive tbh considering how.....extensive joe's archive of pics is here lmao. has he never once in his life been photographed holding a baby or. have i just not come across any.

ja'marr is totally the type to swing children around by their legs and fling them around in a circle as they climb him like a jungle gym etc etc just 100% comfortable and secure in himself that he can catch any kid if they fall or never even getting them to that point in the first place. just clocked that this is maybe because of his wr training lmao. or just a case of extremely good dad reflexes who knows! i don't actually know what point i wanted to make here i just wanted to say something about this 😭.

joe doesn't know how to interact with children below the ages of 5. no like he'd be good at it of course but if you squint your eyes you can see him visibly sweating from the entire exchange 😭 but he loves it!! loves meeting little kids who idolize him!! he does not know how to carry babies without having his entire torso and limbs (both upper and bottom for some reason) stiffening up. ja'marr once handed him junior without thinking much of it to fuss over the baby car seat and when he turned back 10 minutes later after a losing battle it's to the sight of joe frozen in time staring blankly at ja'marr junior who is doing him absolutely no help just staring right back entranced at his face. they might be locked in a staring contest. they're definitely locked in a staring contest because ja'marr has called both their names repeatedly and has been ignored the entire time. cute stuff. snapped a pic to share to his parents, sister, tee, joe's parents and brothers, the entire wr group chat etc etc.

but!!! he has an amazing ability to just....exist in the same space with the quieter children, the nonverbal ones. even manages to take them out of their bubble sometimes and bond over the most obscure shit you can think of (neurodivergents solidarity tbh). if it's the more enthusiastic outspoken ones he's happy to just let them lead the convo, always so accommodating and fascinated by their way of thinking! he just adores kids just as much as ja'marr he loves talking to them and hearing their thought process and current obsessions and when ja'marr jumps in he loves seeing them light up even more because ja'marr always knows the right words to get them to loosen up and start snort-laughing, when to tease and poke, when to be firm and admonishing. joe's more of a pushover i guess lol he lets them walk all over him and has no backbone to speak of. when they meet little fans on the street who get a bit overbearing don't know when to knock it off ja'marr's usually the one who successfully gets them to back off and let joe breath. this might also be because his boundless energy matches the kids more easier hmm.

BUT you're asking abt joe babysitting ja'marr jr sorry got incredibly side tracked over them with children 😭

maybe it's a little wr training thing where ja'marr has to go for idk 3 days and the baby mama can't take junior for the whole week and his parents are having an anniversary cruise vacation and his sister is on the other side of the country and his usual babysitter (neighbor's teenage kid lol) is having an exam season and sure he could ask any of his friends who would go the extra mile for him but!! the number one person in his mind and soul who he would feel absolutely 100% comfortable and safe leaving the beloved piece of his heart outside of his body with is one joseph lee burrow. who might possibly think that taking care of junior primarily involves him staring directly and piercingly at the little kid watching lion king for the whole two and a half hours of runtime. all without taking a single eye off of him. like at all. which is. well.

joe manfully says yes to ja'marr's sincere plea and is handed junior and his entire baby bag with some fanfare because ja'marr is always one for dramatics. joe is staring bemusedly down at the one year old child who had somehow ended up in the circle of his arms drooling on the fabric of his old faded acid wash tee while ja'marr is fussing over setting up a little toy station in the middle of joe's living room and stocking up joe's kitchen with all the meals and snacks and milk he brought for junior. he's also yapping in his usual endearing way over all the things joe has to look out for, allergies, times for meals and snacks, what to do when junior starts crying, when to let him just run around and when to get him to sit the fuck down, what some of the baby babble junior likes to blurt out mean, etc etc just baby essentials and everything that joe would usually very easily sort through but he's kind of. completely overwhelmed here on the pending sole responsibility over a one year old baby—his best friend's actual living breathing mini version of him—for the next 72-ish hours and tries very hard not to freak the fuck out.

in the end ja'marr is just standing in front of joe holding his son so carefully like he's something so precious while baby ja'marr is slowly blinking awake to the sight of joe's own blue eyes looking wide-eyed down at him and feeling something so right and warm when junior immediately reaches out an arm to press against an enchanted joe's cheek and start laughing when joe flinches and weirdly fumbles around. god the image of joe with a little kid i can't do this. ja'marr snapped a pic ofc had to immortalize the first ever lone babysitting gig with joe. little baby ja'marr album <3

love the idea of this being pre-relationship with ja'marr enthusiastically stepping forward all up in joe's space and hugging junior via hugging joe and blowing raspberries all over his son's cheeks in his usual goodbye-routine while joe's staring wide-eyed because wow this is. an incredibly close view of—of all this. all within his reach. of a sort. and then ja'marr turns his bright baby-ja'marr-special-smile upwards towards joe and dumbly (dumb-of-ass-ly!!) smooches joe's cheek too on. like. autopilot (or is it!) and blusters through the immediate oh-my-god-i-just-did-that leaving like a whirlwind through the front door yelling to just call him if he has questions. and joe's just. left standing there stupefied beyond belief and can't even reach up a hand to press against his warmed cheek because he's terrified of letting go even a single hand from carrying junior. who is clapping his hands in delight, already in love with joe from the first time they met long before and beyond delighted that he gets to hang out with the nice blond man with the warm hands who makes his daddy laugh like that. didn't even cry getting left alone by his dad!! which is a Very Important and Heartening thing to note when left with a baby not your own but joe doesn't know that (yet)!! anyway.

then follows a wonderful lovely saga of joe learning how to take care of junior and it's!! ja'marr's kid!!!!! he literally cannot do anything wrong to fuck up junior even if he tried because that's ja'marr's blood and soul over there in pint-sized form. it took a whole minute for him to fall completely in love the first time they met and with them being left alone for the first time it takes barely an hour for him to learn literally everything there is to know about the kid (proverbially of course. junior's first time asking to go potty nearly made him breakdown. called his mom in distress, got laughed at for a full minute, before she helped him the best she could through face time and then spent the next hour cooing over an equally enamored junior through the phone) because he's literally an extension of ja'marr, who he knows better than the back of his palm!!

anyway when ja'marr comes by to pick him up again bringing a shit ton of food as a little thank you also—he easily barges through the front door with his own key, not not worried exactly because the last time joe texted him was to snap a pic of junior trying on one of his custom glove (tiny hand in big glove!!) which was a whole hour and a half ago and didn't reply to any of the texts ja'marr sent asking if he wanted gross junk food A or B for dinner.

came to the truly heart melting sight of moana playing on 20% volume while joe is stretched out on his couch in one of his eccentric t-shirts and grey sweats, hair rumpled beyond saving, baby ja'marr settled on top of him in a tiger onesie with his head tucked right on top of joe's heart snuggled up under one of the fluffy blankets ja'marr got for him that's barely covering joe, both dead to the world asleep. ja'marr instantly brings out his phone and takes a whole bunch of pictures from literally every angle AND several videos of the 1 minute and over variety. immediately shared to everyone he knows that matters within the hour. the very first pic of them both snapping awake to stare up at him leaning over the couch in groggy shock looking weirdly alike is for him and him only though. the next pic of them with smiles starting to bloom through staring right at him is made into his phone's background that night. joe has the pic printed on polaroids one for each of them and they each keep it in their wallets. wow this is corny as hell sorry but.

sooooo compelling if this was like. THE feelings realization for him like—'oh. ohhh my god. oh no. oh wait a damn fucking second this is not that. i am not in love with him. i do not want ja'marr jr growing up with him as the other half of his parental unit no. no. oh god.' yeah.

had a little family dinner afterwards on the couch watching the jungle book <3 junior usually chooses to sit on ja'marr's lap but he's sticking close to joe and it makes ja'marr feel all fuzzy and dizzy. little kid tucked between these two whose bodies are turned to one another caging the kid so he won't fall. laughing together playfully smearing sauce all over baby ja'marr to make him shriek and laugh. spending the night there anyway because it's midnight all of junior's stuff is still there enough for an extra day or several and ja'marr can just use joe's stuff anyway and really ja'marr doesn't think junior is ever letting go of joe's shirt so.

this is just incredibly self-indulging 😭 and i don't actually know what to call ja'marr jr wkwkk

ending this with a little screenshot of ja’marr and ja’marr 🥰🫶 they're sooooooo cute

ok bye!!

[thewintersoldierdisaster]

a/n: thanks anon for the request! i needed to write something quick and dirty to get out of my writing slump and this was perfect. i did some minor research on the calgary stampede and i don’t know anything about rodeos or horses (im actually terrified of them) so all inaccuracies are to be taken with a grain of salt. enjoy! 🐴

word count: 1k

tw: minor smut (thigh riding, fingering (f receiving), cowgirl position, p in v, unprotected), dirty talk, innuendo

summary: you watch matty compete in the saddle bronc competition at the calgary stampede

The top bar of the metal railing digs into your stomach as you lean forward, looking from side to side to make sure security isn’t nearby and ready to yell at you. Not that you plan on listening.

Lucky for you though, no one is around and you can happily lean over the rail to get a better look at Matty, behind the gate and ready to start his turn for the Saddle Bronc competition. He’s easy to spot among the other cowboys, his bright white hat and dark blue denim shirt standing out from the crowd. Besides that, you seem to have a special talent for finding your boyfriend in any sized crowd, your body attuned to his.

You tap your cowboy booted foot against the lower rung of the railing, the hollow noise drowned out by the crowds.

Matty’s the last one for this group and you suck your lower lip between your teeth, crossing your fingers that he’ll have the best time.

From behind you, Taryn’s laugh stands out and you look over your shoulder at your boyfriend’s sister to see her face scrunched up in amusement.

“What?” You ask, her laugh contagious.

“It’s like you’ve never seen Matty compete before,” she teases, gesturing to the way you’re leaned up against the railing, upper half hanging in the air, half ready to fall into the dirt with one sudden movement.

You shrug, one chambray denim covered shoulder lifting towards your ears. “Can I help it if I’m obsessed with watching him ride?” You ask, Cheshire Cat grin on your face.

Taryn rolls her eyes at you, but joins you up against the railing a heartbeat later when the gate opens and Matty’s let out onto the dirt of the ring. He trots his horse - Johnny Cash, named by yours truly, in honor of the horse’s entirely black coat and mane - into the center of the ring and looks around, taking in the atmosphere of the Stampede.

He looks imposing, sat up high on the horse, dressed for the rodeo. You’re used to seeing Matty in his cowboy hat and double denim, but there’s something different in his posture when he’s competing.

Before time starts, he catches sight of you and grins in your direction. A quick wink and then the eight second timer starts.

You’ve watched Matty do this before, but it never gets any less scary, watching Johnny Cash do his best to send Matty flying and Matty doing his best to stay in the saddle. His white hat is secured on his head, golden curls grown out into a mullet that you’re on record as hating, nearly touching the collar of his shirt.

His denim-clad thighs are thick and you can see the muscles working as the seconds tick down. He squeezes the horse’s flank and you think about last night, the way you’d ridden his thighs to two messy orgasms, your arousal slicking and matting the coarse golden hairs on his thighs. He’d tensed the thick muscle, flexing it against your cunt, fingers gripping your hips so he could drag you up and down as your rhythm had faltered. Tossing you on your back after and burying two thick fingers into your cunt in preparation for his cock. He’d dragged you back onto his lap, burying himself to the hilt and you’d bounced on his cock until you were both coming, his fingers in your mouth to muffle your moans.

The same fingers that now hold the reins in a similarly tight grip, tendons flexing in his wrist.

You grip the metal rail in your hands, knuckles going white while you hold your breath.

3…

Matty’s thighs flex again. Johnny Cash’s mane flies in the air, his coat like black velvet.

2…

You bite your lower lip hard enough to draw blood, front teeth indenting the slightly chapped skin.

1…

The timer goes off and Matty’s still on the horse, one hand thrown triumphantly in the air and you shriek, jumping up and down with Taryn’s arms around your torso. Your braids smack her in the face but neither of you say anything, too excited that Matt made it the full eight seconds.

The crowd is losing its mind, Matty’s taking a victory lap around the ring, and you’re startled when he appears in front of you, sweat dripping down his temple and chest heaving from the exertion.

Taryn lets out another little shriek of excitement and steps back, knowing her brother is here for you.

“Hey there,” he grins wickedly at you, posture casual as if he’s not in the middle of the rodeo. Johnny Cash lets out a little whinny, the exhale from his nose a hot puff of air.

You scramble back up to the railing, climbing up two rungs and ignoring the press of the hot metal on the front of your thighs so you can get to eye level with Matt. “Hey there, cowboy,” you grin back, reaching out to cup his cheeks and drag his face to yours for a searing kiss. His stubble scratches at your palms and his tongue probes your mouth, licking over your lower lip.

When you break apart, Matty lifts his hat off his head and drops it on yours, the brim slipping over your eyes briefly before he pushes it up with his index finger. You laugh and he nods.

“There’s my girl,” he murmurs. “My good luck charm.”

“I didn’t have anything to do with this,” you wave your hand in the air, flushing with the heat of Matt’s gaze. Johnny Cash nudges your leg with his nose and you give the horse a little scratch between the eyes.

His smirk grows and you press your thighs together as best as you can while standing on the rung of the railing. He notices, of course, and leans in to whisper, “learned all my riding techniques from watching you last night, darling.”

And then he’s gone, back to the corral, leaving you wet and wanting, the cowboy hat tipped back over your eyes.

[minnlahzz]

onyx, spinel x an anxious reader

requested

first req in the big october, sorry for disappearing. i relied heavily on the wikipedia and summarised videos as its hard to catch up with the anime as of now. i had no idea putting the familiarity part, so i just did the anxious/reader with anxiety one. lmk if you want me to change this. sorry if it's short!!

— NOTE : LOWERCASE INTENDED

— ONYX

onyx never really realised until you told him, but he gets it no pressure, he's not a softie for you though, it's not because he doesn't want to its that he doesn't know how to comfort you during your panics. he'll pat you on the back and say small affirmations, "it's gonna be okay.", "im here for you," "things will get better." and he feels bad for not being able to show that they care.

he's very attentive to what you need, tissues? he's got it, sweets? stole it from sango. you get restless easily so he thinks this can be a way of him showing he cares, and onyx likes doing something knowing you'll be happy after he's done.

there are times you're too overwhelmed to say anything, so he's the one speaking for you. he knows majority of what you want to say most of times, and when he messes up a word– he apologises immediately.

onyx observes you and reminds you to stop picking on your skin or nails, but he doesn't do it like a normal person, he sounds like a mom scolding their son. "hey, stop that."

other than being attentive, he's pretty protective aswell. onyx hates his enemies and those who make fun of you are one of them, he'll get garganacle to fight them off.

he tries his best to help you, but there are some parts he could improve. just know onyx is trying his best, and that the people at the hq aren't really that helpful...

— SPINEL

spinel figured out on his own, and with some research on your condition (although im sure he already knew alot about your condition), what he should be watching out for, etc.

he does these speech practices with you, so that you are able to speak with people more, and help you remove the nervousness when speaking to a larger group. he's patient with you, and always criticises you afterwards telling you what's wrong and what you need to improve.

he'd pat you on the back after these practices, and then show you the clipboard he's been holding to take note. adds those inspirational quotes by famous people at the bottom to encourage you.

spinel also speaks for you when you're not able to or too overwhelmed to say anything, or he just shoo's the person entirely so that you have space. don't worry, if he's not there then umbreon/blacky is the support.

spinel definitely pushes you out of your comfort zone, not to the point of a break out, but encouraging you to socialize with his co-workers. he let's you talk to his pokemon, it gives him less to worry about and helps you calm down.

when you're having your breakdowns/panic attacks he's got your back, spinels affirmations are strange, yet are comforting at best, and if he's not there he's trained pokemon/your pokemon on what to do and what not to do.

overall very supportive, and very loving.

[mystxmomo]

can you…write…kevgar… again.. please…

im not asking for a 100k words, 100 is enough for me.. please…

😭💔😭☹️☹️🥺😭😭💔😭eyyeus eueue 😭💔🥺🥺

Okay so like. I do actually want to come back and write something once this event wraps up, because I'm genuinely kind of baffled at how much we're being... like given? It's sparking some ideas. No promises on it though because I need to write being carried by the muses and the tides.

Edit: Also this art at the bottom is REALLY cute I forgot to mention it at first. Thank you for. Letting me see them....

Anyway. I can do you one better than 100 words. Back in like. 2022, I was working on a massive Hanahaki Kevgar AU. I ended up dropping it because I explored what I was interested in with "As the pieces fall into place" (Aka erectile dysfunction au) and was pretty happy with what I had + I think I used chunks of this dialog in that fic (So if some of that looks familiar thats why). However, I also had like. A REALLY NOT INSIGNIFICANT part of this fic written?

Thought it would sit around and collect dust forever in my docs, but you and I both know how sad the state of the Kevgar tag is in. Here's what I had of it put together. Again, I can't stress enough. This is unfinished. But it's also uhhh. Almost 5k words of unfinished? So hopefully some of it still scratches at your brain, even if it's just a draft.

"Original Authors note: 

Hello there main friend group, extended twitter friendgroup, and three random strangers in my puter that this pairing will appeal to, I hope this fic finds you well.

Basically, I saw a tumblr post maybe a year or two back that talked about the idea of Hanahaki not as a lethal disease, but instead a chronic one. The idea that it’s a manifestation of your emotions, and your emotions aren’t going to kill you, but by damn they’re gonna be a bitch to deal with. Especially if you keep shoving them down in a little box and avoiding them. 

Basically the flowers are a metaphor. It takes away from the tragedy but adds an angle of nuance that I as a writer find personally enjoyable to navigate and play with.

AND I thought to myself. Man you know who would be fun for that? Gay Kevin."

===================

Edgar Valden is real pretty, is the main thing.

Frustratingly so. Men, let alone men with personalities as rotten and cruel as Valden’s shouldn’t be allowed to be as pretty as he is. 

But he is, and it’s an issue. 

He’s also. Ah… Small. Frail enough to tug at Kevin’s heart strings in a way he’s not entirely comfortable with. He catches himself thinking about that mid-match, Edgar dizzy enough from a recent hit not to fight being carted around on his shoulder. A head smaller than Kevin, and lighter than some of the ladies, Edgar is easy on his arm and warm against his shoulder.

The first time he realizes it, the illusion is immediately ruined by Edgar catching his barings, and begins to kick and struggle out of his hold and cuss him clean. But a sickly, uncomfortable feeling settles in his stomach, and eventually even the most private of Kevin’s thoughts always have a funny way of haunting him. It’s easy to hate him when he’s standing in front of you, sneering and glaring like the bullheaded swine he is. But out on their game field, when the adrenaline runs so heavy his blood goes cold, and Edgar is flying around the field with the same amount of speed and dedication that he takes to his art, it becomes harder to separate pretty from fragile. And late into the night, when Kevin’s thoughts have a tendency to haunt him the most, there’s no escaping it. He prefers it to the guilt that plagues the back of his mind at those hours, but it sits at the pit of his stomach with the same amount of discomfort and nausea as that guilt does. And that guilt, inevitably, turns to rage.

And rage always comes back to frustration. 

When he starts hacking up petals and blood, he doesn’t think it’s Valden. He doesn’t think it’s anyone, really. 

//

Emily tells him that it’s called Hanahaki.

“I’m surprised you’ve never encountered it before,” She says, as a general musing.

“I’ve heard of things like it,” He says, “You tend to hear a lot of rumors n’ stories while travelin’ around. You can’t take everything at face value, y’know? Thought it was closer to tall-tales.”

She nods, her brows furrowing together. She tends to get like that when she’s deep in thought. Sort of snappy, and certainly less patient. But she hasn’t gotten to the point that she gets after they finish their matches, running around like a chicken with her head cut off. Instead, it’s quiet pacing.

“Our body has an odd way of reacting to…” She tilts her head, carefully considers her words before she says them. She’s smart like that, “Emotions. Stress. Eventually, it manifests itself physically,” She gives him a concerned look, “Has there been any changes in your life?”

He gives her a weird look. Permanent state of stasis they seemed to be trapped in, their changes were rare and minimal. He had less games these days then when he’d started here, and most of the new personalities at the manor were a respectable sort. To his silence, she almost rolls her eyes. Almost. She’s professional enough not to.

“Ayuso, it could be anything. Have the games been worse recently?” He gives her a stranger look for that one, and she tuts, runs her hands back through her hair and messes up her otherwise pristine looking bun, “Honestly, I’m surprised we haven’t gotten a case of it in the manor sooner. Maybe because of how isolated we are..?” She considers it in silence, and Kevin thinks it would be wrong to interrupt her. But then she’s turning to look at him, “Can I see those petals again?”

Raising a brow, he takes out the handkerchief he’d collected them in. It’s from a personal favorite outfit of his, and at first he’s not actually sure what she’s looking for. Because she brushes the petals off to the side, and raises the cloth to the light, and what she says next concerns him more than anything else about the conversation has, “It’s an abnormal amount of blood for such a minor case,” She mutters, stares, “You did come to me immediately, right?”

He huffs laughter. His throat hurts, “‘Course, course. I didn’t see petals and think it was normal.”

She glares, “Don’t get smart with me, Ayuso. I swear, some of these people could come down with consumption and avoid me for it…” She sighs, and her shoulders fall, “Is it growing thorns…?” 

“Is that possible?” He asks, and feels somewhat foolish for doing so. Of course it is. She wouldn’t have mentioned it if it hadn’t been.

“It’s not unheard of,” She says, and steps forward to hand him the handkerchief back. When she looks over at him again, it’s with a certain amount of sympathy he rarely sees on her face, “You should be fine, but…I won’t say it will be pleasant.”

He chuckles, and it comes across as weak and forced, “Ms. Dyer, I may be something of a foolish man, but I don’t think anyone is foolish enough think flowers in your throat are a’pleasant experience.”

She rolls her eyes at him, “Let me see what medicine I can find. I might be able to kill a few of them off for you…”

//

He doesn’t want to acknowledge his unfortunate reality, but the first time he vomits up fist fulls of flowers, he’s in a match with Valen

It’s not a good match. Emily goes down fast. Kevin doesn’t have time to get across the map. Mike tries to pull off a rescue, but Michiko is faster than he is, and a bit more clever to boot. Edgar manages to pull something off with those paintings of his, but Kevin’s never been any good with the technology in the manor, and by the time Emily’s out of the game they barley have two ciphers done.

With Michiko distracted by Mike, it gives him the chance to slip away with Edgar. He knows Edgar took a bad hit, because he stays limp over his shoulder rather than attempt to fight and squirm against him.

(He’s warm, something whispers in Kevin’s ear.)

“There you are,” Kevin draws, and drops him on the ground with no amount of care or subtlety. Edgar stumbles back a few steps, attempting to blink away the lightheadedness that comes with these matches.

“... Thanks,” Edgar says, quietly, and brushes himself off at the knees. Though he’s doing well to hide it, he has an embarrassed blush on his face, and he needs to lean back against the crumbling wall to keep his balance. 

Kevin reaches out to steady him a bit better, and Edgar shoots him a look that could kill. 

“Go decode, I’ll catch my breath and find a way to distract her again,” Edgar turns to give him an odd sort of look, the normal irritation that shadows over his face mending away to something else entirely. Though what it is, he’s unsure, “We can probably still save this if I…” He’s trailing off, a distant, manic look to his eye as he does. It answers none of Kevin’s questions, and only increases his concern, and when Edgar kneels on the ground it’s to fuss with something in his hand.

He’d not noticed it before, but the painter already has a syringe in his hand. He must have scavenged the supplies from Dyer's chair, because he’s already trying to find a vein with shaking, cold-nipped looking fingers.

And like a pendulum swinging back and forth, his irritation washes back to sympathy. And with that sympathy comes guilt, and nausea. 

Kevin steps forward, and grabs his arm for him. Edgar immediately tries to pull away, but Kevin is stronger than him, and it only takes tightening his grip to get Edgar to still. Edgar squirms under his touch, and something in Kevin’s head equates him to being no different than one of those squeaking barn kittens that didn’t know threats from friends and so they yelled and hissed at anything that grabbed ‘em.

“Hold still,” he says, his voice strained, and Edgar does glare at him this time, “Save the supplies. Y’might need it later.”

Edgar lets him. Patch him up. He can’t argue with strategy, and their playing field is the uncomfortable equalizer. To Kevin’s discomfort, Edgar spends the entire time staring at him with this ugly, uncanny look.

…

“You’re hurt,” Edgar says, suddenly, and reaches out to grab Kevin’s face. Edgar’s hands are soft, and but his touch is not. His thumb brushes against his mouth, and he’s surprised to find that it comes back with blood. He doesn’t remember tasting it. Maybe he’s already so used to it, that he’d just not noticed it, “When did you take a hit?”

A smarter man would be able to come up with an excuse on the spot. It’s not unusual, afterall, to end the match covered in your teammates blood. Especially ones that run as poorly as there’s. Especially with Kevin’s position being as it is.

Kevin is not a smart man. He’s dull, and a coward.

“I’m fine,” He snaps, and pulls back from Edgar. Feeling suddenly quite defensive, he feels his lips curl up in defiance. It’s all show, really. Because underneath it, he can’t deny the sudden surge of nerves and panic and fear. He’s never been any different or any smarter than a cornered animal, but most men in his position aren’t.

 Edgar’s hand lingers in the air, fingers oddly delicate despite the blood. And Edgar stares at him. He stares at him for a long time, his eyes distant and hollow and cold, “Okay,” He says, and his tone is odd when he says it. Like Edgar doesn’t entirely believe him. And when Kevin thinks he’s going to leave it at that, he clarifies with, “Okay. You don’t have to tell me. Whatever. Just- Go decode. Maybe I can still save this for us, you useless asshole…” 

And Edgar trails off, stares at the spot of the snow where his own blood has dripped on the snow. 

There’s no fight left in him after that. There should be. This is the part where Kevin normally feels anger and discomfort at the mans provocation, where they ruin their match and draw the hunters ire. It’s normally the part where irritation takes over sensability.

Instead, Kevin stumbles away feeling nauseous. He doesn’t decode. Decoding would be the smart thing to do, and he is not a smart man. A cold sweat crawls over his skin, and he’s shaking hard enough that he’s having trouble staying upright. He feels it, in his throat and in his gut. Something cutting into his flesh, like the way a cats claws would dig into skin.

He makes it behind shack, before he needs to stop and stable his weight on the wall.

It’s petals and blood mix on the ground in a ugly red soup, chunky and red with rotting petals and cuts of flesh. He wheezes in an attempt to catch his breath, but he finds himself dizzy for it. Eventually, he needs to kneel on the ground and rest his head against the wall, unable to keep his eyes open without risking another fit. The cold weather of Leo’s is as much of a sting as it is a comfort on his throat and skin. And just when he thinks he’s settled his head, he lurches again, the cycle repeating all over.

He doesn’t realize the blood rushing in his ear is the hunter until he feels her cold hand on his back.

“Oh dear..” Michiko says, and her voice is soft on his ear, “This is where you’ve been hiding.”

Michiko is a sweet sort of lady. She doesn’t take the chance to knock him out over it. Instead, she lingers behind him and ushers him in the direction the dungeon must be, stopping him from falling over himself twice in the process

He’d not realized she’d found Edgar. She must have. By the time she guides him over to the dungeon, it’s already open, the wind blowing out of it. He drops into the dungeon without as much as a tip of his hat, and there's this cold, empty feeling that sits in the bottom of his stomach.

Valden was going to kill him.

// Editors note: These next sections are unfinished, but I still give everything I had for you. Anything that has a "...." Around it was supposed to have more of a lead in.

Edgar doesn’t kill him.

But also Edgar doesn’t talk to him for a while, after that.

He doesn’t talk to him. He expects a fight out of it, but he stumbles into the room so pale and dizzy that it draws the concern of Emily immediately. 

[Edgar picks a fight with Emily because he's confused and irritated]

“Come on now Valden, don’t give her a hard time ‘cause you’re in a shitty mood,” He steps in between them, and Edgar snarls at him.

“Don't fucking touch me,"

...

Something clicks into place in Emily’s gaze, something Kevin barely catches himself. She looks at the two of them. Opens her mouth to say something. A scolding, maybe.

Then closes it, her eyebrows furrowing.

//

The first time he coughs up a stem, he cuts up his throat so badly he can’t talk.

Perhap's its for the best. He feels uncharacteristically irritable about the whole thing, as the rose thorns hook into his throat and restrict his breath.....

“Ayuso…?” Edgar calls out, and he sounds surprisingly… small. It pisses him off. 

“Just-” Kevin draws in a long breath, holding his head in his hands, 

Edgar lingers in the doorway for a few seconds, blinking dully. He looks away, “I was going to ask if you’re alright.” He says, sounding short with him. “I thought….” He trails off, stares at him for a long time. His gaze burns into Kevin’s skin

“Nevermind,” Edgar grumbles, and pushes past him. It’s with a harsh shove, and some smarter part of Kevin thinks he might deserve it. But some ugly, more stubborn part of him only makes him angrier. 

//

....

“Of course I know what hanahaki is,” Edgar says, and the door closes with more force the necessary, “The droll hopeless romantics in the arts don’t know how to shut up about it.”

“You don’t hate me?” Kevin’s heart swells.

“Why would I hate you?” Edgar wrinkles his nose at him, “You’re annoying, and I wish you’d learn how to shut the hell up. But thats really not different than any of the other dumbasses that populate this manor."

Unsure of whether or not to be relieved or to scold the man, Kevin laughs. He feels light headed.

“Want to hear somethin’ funny?” Kevin doesn't wait for a reply, “I don’t…. think I hate you.”

Edgar takes a moment to process that. Then laughs at him. Loudly, and full body. It’s sharp on his ear, and as ugly as it is pretty. Perfect, for a man like Valden, “That's what you’re so worked up about?” He asks, and steps forward to look him over. 

“You’re fuckin’-”

“You’re throwing around children's insults and throwing up flower petals over the fact you might not hate me. Ayuso that’s- Ridiculous. Tell me you see how ridiculous that is,” He says, and his smile is hidden behind his hand. Kevin feels ill looking at it. Because even when he’s mocking him, that smile causes his stomach to turn and nerves to creep under his skin. 

(His smile is, while at first perplexed, otherwise sincere. It’s something rare to see on the man.)

And he- he doesn’t understand. Edgar doesn’t know. He doesn’t understand what this means for Kevin, he doesn’t understand the severity of that acknowledgement. 

Kevin barely understands what this means for himself. 

Kevin lunges forward and grabs him by the shirt. He kisses him.

Edgar looks startled. At first, he panics, and Kevin has acute awareness of the way his hand grabs at his shirt and wrist. He doesn’t pull away

But eventually, he calms as Kevin does. His hand moves from his chest to his jaw, cupping his cheek like it actually means something to him. His hands are soft, and Kevin’s are not. Kevin’s lips are chapped, and Edgar’s are sweet. It causes guilt and disgust to rest in his gut all the same, and instead of rage, it just sinks and sits there. 

When he pulls away, Edgar is giving him a distant, careful look. 

Kevin stares at him with exhaustion, pale in the face and ill in the stomach.

“Oh. You taste like blood. Come here.” Edgar says, and his hand lingers on top of Kevin’s wrist, on his cheek, thumb against the corner of his lip,

Edgar kisses him again. It doesn’t help, but Kevin still indulges in it like it does.

...

When Kevin breaks away, he’s shaking.

Guilt. Disgust. Anger. Discomfort. There are butterflies in his stomach, like the first time [his lady I forgot her name] grabbed his hand and smiled at him.

Fuck.

He pulls away, and he vomits.

Edgar is quiet this time. There’s no mockery, and no cruelty. He watches him with a blank expression on his face, hand drifting like he's unsure whether or not he wants to touch him again. Then, he kneels down next to him. A warm body against his side, a soft hand on his back, rubbing right up between his shoulder blades.

“Hey,” Edgar says, “Go to bed, Ayuso. We can talk later.”

His eyes burn.

Edgar helps him over into bed, and sits on the edge of it until he falls asleep. 

They don’t talk about it.

//

He tries to talk to Patricia about it.

“Mother once told me that love was something you chose to do. People think they fall in love. And maybe there’s some honesty to that. But love is conditional. It’s as much of a choice as cruelty,” Patricia says. She looks toward him, frowns, “But I will admit. You seem to have been born strictly to challenge that idea.”

Kevin can’t help himself. A smile hesitantly pulls onto his lips, and he says, “Y’think?”

“That’s not a compliment. Moron,” Her tongue clicks against her teeth, but her eyes soften on him.

“I don’t know. It sort of sounded like one.”

...

"Listen, Kevin. And I am begging you to listen closely. Because I'm going to tell you something I wish, more then anything, someone had told me," She struts forward, placing her hands on either side of his cheek. The touch is gentle, but firm, guiding his gaze to hers. She has to gaze up at him to look him in the eye, but when that meets, hers narrows on his with an almost predatory look.

But then it falls. Her lips twitch down, and her hands fall, "It's okay."

He laughs, "That's it?"

She considers her next words carefully. Instead of snapping back at him, there's a patient, creeping look to her eye, "It's okay that you're uncomfortable with this."

And his blood runs cold.

Something must change about his expression, then. Because she sways forward again, closer than before. She swallows, slow and collected, "It's okay to feel disgusted with yourself, and it's okay to feel guilty. That's outside of your control. I need you to think about that, because I know you don't understand it. What you're feeling now is- it's fine. It's just... Fine. But if you sit there and let it eat you alive then you're better off dead."

....

He coughs.

And coughs again, . He’s struck with a sudden wave of exhaustion.

He ... Sits down. He feels winded.

He holds his head in his hands.

"I don't think this was ever about Valden," He says, and his hand scratches at his throat.

"Maybe not," Patricia shrugs, "Maybe it was. You'll have to be the one to figure that out.”

//

He extends an olive branch.

"Do you wanna come drinkin' with me tonight," Kevin asks, and he holds back a grimace as he asks. 

Edgar looks at him weirdly, "Not really," He says, too fast for Kevin's heart to handle. But then he continues. Not in any consideration of Kevin’s immediate heartbreak, but because he muses outloud to himself more than he doesn’t, "It gets too loud in Demi's bar. That room is too damn small sometimes. That doesn't sound even remotely relaxing."

Kevin pauses.

"It can just be us," he offers, and takes a small step forward, "I ain't exactly picky about where I drink. If the bar is too loud I can come on up to your room, or you can come up to mine."

"..." Edgar turns to look at him, and his gaze glimmers with a curious interest, "Why don't you come by my studio tonight with some wine."

For a minute, the guilt in his heart is replaced by those soft, lovely butterflies that scatter and crawl about. 

“Alright.”

//

....

“Oh, it’s you,” Edgar wipes away the paint off his arms, and nods him into the room. Kevin offers him a suspicious, quiet look, but steps forward.

“Hurt my heart, Valden. Soundin’ so disappointed I showed up.”

“I didn’t actually think you would,” Edgar says, like an admittance, “Sit down.”

Kevin does.

“I hope you don’t mind if I paint you while we drink,” Edgar says, pouring the wine Kevin brought into two cups. And Kevin - he grunts.

“Now I didn’t exactly remember that bein’ part of the deal.”

“Sucks.”

Edgar extends the cup out for him to take. Kevin does. Their fingers brush, and Kevin’s entire arm buzz with the nerves that come from it.

Edgar works in silence, for the most part. It’s awkward, and uncomfortable. Kevin falls into sharp coughing fits, and Edgar without fail will wrinkle his nose at him, come on over, and wordlessly tilt his head back to the position he wants him in. His touches are soft, and careful. Calculated in a way that Kevin doesn’t often see on him. The wine aside, Edgar has tea prepared for him, which surprises him. Given that Kevin arrived so late, it’s mostly luke-warm. Edgar doesn’t bother mentioning or apologizing for that. 

He finishes off a glass of wine. Then another. It just further succeeds in giving him that uncomfortable, sticky feeling he’s never been good at handling.

Edgar stares at him, and Kevin feels that gaze crawling across his skin. The room isn’t warm, but it might as well be.

“I’ve never been good at portraits,” Edgar admits to him, suddenly, his gaze lowering to his pallet. Kevin waits for him to continue, but realizes that on his on he probably won’t.

Despite himself, he prompts him.

....

His gaze is tired. His figure is stiff, “I’m not good at this, Ayuso. I’ve never been good at this. So I’ll be forward. I don’t know why you’re here, and it’s really hard to convince myself of any explanation that seems reasonable.”

Kevin's throat itches. Edgar looks up at him.

“What are you asking me, then?”

“I don’t know.” Kevin says, “I don’t even really know what I want outt’a this, if I’m bein’ honest with you.”

Edgar rubs his eyes. It seems tired, “Fuck me, you’re so fucking stupid sometimes,”

Kevin feels that anger, that kneejerk horror, and he moves to stand. There’s a snarl on his lip before he knows it, as the embarrassment passes over him

“No, no. Jesus- Get that look off your face, I wasn’t insulting you. You just- Are.” Edgar’s jaw sets. His paintbrush slams down, and with it, Kevin stills. He looks like he has a headache, “You are.” He repeats, sharply, and more firm.

“How is callin’ me stupid not an insult?!” 

“What else am I supposed to call you when you act like this!?” 

Kevin stares at him in disbelief, and Edgar throws his hands up in the air. He holds his head in his hands and closes his eyes, and there’s this short, uncomfortable silence between the two of them. It passes. It always passes. 

Kevin gets up to leave.

Edgar catches his hand and stare at him. Kevin hadn't realized he could move that fast, or maybe that he'd been approaching him to begin with. Kevin turns to snap at him, but when their eyes meet he feels it all die out.

“Sit down,” Edgar says

Kevin.... sits.

[The note in my drafts here just said "Second Base" With no other context]

He feels. Guilt. For for wanting him like this. 

And, above all else, guilt at placing himself in Edgar’s life. Guilt for his feelings.

He coughs. 

Kevin nudges Edgar off of him, and for a moment Edgar’s eyes flash with panic and - To Kevin’s mild horror, betrayal. But Kevin doesn’t have time to sit on it. He rolls over and, as he’s become so accustomed to, hacks and coughs until vomit and blood and whole flowers pool out of his mouth. At first in chunks, and then and into a puddle on the otherwise clean cloth. It tastes like rot in his mouth, stinks like the mush thrown at hogs. 

When he comes back down from it all, Edgar is next to him folded on his knee’s. He has a hand between his shoulder blades, tracing sweet little lines into his back. 

When Kevin breath’s again, he’s surprised. 

His hand is still near his mouth, covered in the ugly [visceral] and gore. 

Kevin think’s Edgar will leave him as he did before, especially when he leaves his side and mumbles about not needing to do anything tonight. But to his surprise, he comes back. He has a rag in his hand, stained by paint but otherwise clean, and a cup of water. Edgar takes his hands between his own again and mindfully begin to clean it. His nose wrinkles up when his hands touch a little too close to the gunk, but to Kevin’s surprise, he still works to clean them.

It’s been a while since anyone’s done that for Kevin.

He feels emptier for it.

...

“Didn’t think someone like you would have the stomach for this,” Kevin says, eventually, when his body no longer betrays him.

“... My sister used to get sick when she was younger,” Edgar says, 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” He looks ahead, rather than at Kevin, “The maids were supposed to take care of her, but I…” Edgar trails off, his fingers twitching. Kevin doesn’t push him about it. He has a few stories of his own that he wouldn’t want told.

“Sorry ‘bout your uh-” 

Edgar looks down at the vile, and wrinkles his nose, “Why are you apologizing? It’s just spare bedsheets. They were probably Balsa’s anyway,” 

They sit in silence.

Kevin is the one to leave.

//

What he hates most, he thinks, is that Edgar isn’t wrong. Kevin can’t deny his own attraction to the man at this point. That’s why he was here, wasn’t it? And there’s such shame in that. He was better than that. 

He doesn’t have a defense for himself. He says, "Is it hard to believe I find you kind of- I don’t know. You’re interesting?"

Edgar's nose wrinkles. His face blanks over. God that's - infuriating. He does that when he realizes he's not going to be getting his way, that he's maybe not as right as he thought he was. Kevin knows this because Kevin's argued with him before, "What could you possibly find fascinating about me?"

“I don’t know yet,” He answers, weakly, and Edgar gives him a look with disbelief so thick he can cut through it. His throat feels dry. Not even the stuffy, clogged dry that could get him out of this, but instead an uncomfortable, distant feeling that has him falling silent and still. He wants to raise his hands up and touch them to the other man's shoulders, but just as much, he finds his hand paralyzed at his sides.

Edgar tries to take pity on him.

“Ayuso, that’s not- It’s not an accusation,” Edgar says, slowly, “It’s just what it is.”

Kevin draws a long breath in. It's patient, and careful, "You were okay with me using you like that?"

"You weren't using me," Edgar sounds annoyed, but there’s confusion there, "I want to fuck you. If I didn’t want to fuck you, I wouldn’t be here.”

Kevin flinches at the vulgarity of it. Maybe it's just how sharply it contrasts the emotions of the conversation, but he - He does flinch.

...

Edgar steps closer, so that they can sit next to one another. He's still and uncomfortable. "Okay."

Kevin laces their fingers together.

There's no guilt for that.

[ryuichirou]

So i'm reading your yandere/hypnosis post and i get to Vil being utterly jealous enough to try on Rook; and it makes me think about his drive and the second place club lol (Leona, Jamil and Vil) like D: poor them they're always outranked by that ooonnee person! Can our boys catch a break? whether that person knows or not I always tend to feel bad--especially for Vil since i remember his inner speech in book 5 and the fact that his most trusted person ended up being such a big fan of the person who makes him feel like second best. wait i love rookvil i think i made myself sad LOL NOoo--aahh I rambled im sorry, i guess the main question i wanna ask is what do you think about those particular three always having to come second to their respective counterparts? I think your opinions and insight is so interesting that i'd like to know your thoughts on this! and you don't have to answer for all three characters if you dont wanna I was just curious on your thoughts! Anyways, have a good day and stay hydrated! it's hot this summer oof

Anon! Took some time to get back to you as well, sorry for the late reply. Summer is already over, but it’s still SO HOT…

Without diving into just how much I love the ending of book5 and the whole Rook-Vil-Neige thing (I feel like I talk about it all the time LOL)… It is interesting how these Vil, Jamil and Leona always get to be second best, isn’t it? But ironically, I don’t think I ever grouped them in my head based on this. Maybe it’s because of how different their situations are? But also now that I think about it…

Vil isn’t better than Neige, and he tries to be better by working hard.

Jamil is better than Kalim, but he can’t be better because of his status.

Leona may or may not be better than Falena in some ways, but he doesn’t even bother.

Ignoring the fact that this “better” is always subjective and in actuality things are more complex than that… and also trying not to sound like an armchair therapist that’s just telling anime boys “you should have done this you idiot”, but.

Jamil got the most development in that sense because this internal conflict is very straightforward, in fact, he was the easiest one to describe with these little sentences I just wrote. Jamil wants to stop pretending to be worse than he is, he wants to work hard and to show how great he is without being forced to get worse results than Kalim. He is only the second best because he consciously allows Kalim to be the best whenever he is given this choice. And he isn’t always given a choice: a lot of times the system decides for him, just like when Crowley chose Kalim to be the housewarden. Still, even in that situation, Jamil knows for a fact the shape, the density and the nature of this ceiling he can’t break, he’s been aware of it for his entire life. This is why it’s easy to pinpoint moments of Jamil’s growth: when he expresses how much he hates pretending to be worse than Kalim, when he says that he won’t hold back anymore, when he gets to dance and rap at VDC as a lead-vocalist and, ironically, when he gets scolded by Leona in ch6 (I have some issues with their sub-story, but still).

With Vil, the difficult part is to understand what exactly he understands as “beauty”: I mentioned it in a bunch of Vil-centric posts, but we’ve seen how in-canon he was described as too beautiful, therefore not as relatable as Neige. So this isn’t about beauty, and in a way I think this isn’t about Neige either. This is about Vil’s own feeling of self-worth and self-expression, and how people perceive him; Neige is just a very good point of reference, a good metric, especially considering that they always end up being compared to each other and that comparing numbers of followers is easy and seemingly objective (which is a cruel trap a lot of people fall for).

What I’m trying to say is that Vil isn’t fully and constantly aware of “the shape of this ceiling”, or rather why he can’t reach Neige; this is why we had that ending to his book. This isn’t solely about skill or quality, but those are the main things Vil focuses on.

And Leona… I am not sure about him, to be honest, because it boils down to one problem that I have with him: I am not sure what he wants.

It’s easy to compare him to Jamil because it seems like his issue lies in being frustrated with the system: he will never be the first because Falena is literally the first born son. But I don’t think it’s fair to compare a prince with a servant like that, because even though Leona wouldn’t be the king, he still has a lot of power and opportunities, and we’ve seen Falena valuing his strong points and expressing that he wants Leona to help him. One might even say that he invited Leona to be by his side, as a brother and an equal. But this isn’t what Leona wants in actuality, is it?

His “ceiling” seems to be obvious, but I guess his actual frustrations lie elsewhere, and those are kind of difficult to see because of how inconsistent he is. But maybe it’s just me being frustrated with his character again lol

I am replying so late because I really thought I would have some kind of conclusion about this whole thing, but it seems like I don’t lol Still, it was an interesting topic to think about.

Thank you for your ask! <3

[christophersturnilover]

Do you think i made it inside your house?

this story has some lines from popular halloween movies!

this is based on the songs

This story contains MURDER. This story is pretty long and English is not my first language! Not proofread.

Warnings- Murder, mentions of blood, angst, crying, stalking and i think thats it?

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

It was close to October, the stores were halloween themed and the cold breeze with the scent of pumpkin spice would fill your nostrils each morning you'd awake.

You'd go to your nearest coffee shop to buy your favorite coffee. A pumpkin spice latte cold or warm, which ever you chose it really didnt matter because, the only reason you had gon the last few days was because there was this guy.

His name was Christopher, you found him attractive. But unfortunately you were unlucky and he had already been in a relationship.

You would only want him to serve you but you were to embarrassed to even order infront of him, he'd obviously catch onto this pretty quickly and one day he asked you to hang out,

as friends but you said you were busy.

You suddenly felt envy towards him and his girlfriend everytime they'd hang out at the coffee shop during his breaks.

One night, you cried all eight full hours because you felt like you weren't enough or pretty enough for him.

That sadness quickly turned into hatred and jealousy.

The week after that, on a Friday you found yourself digging up your backyard to hide a fucking body.

How it happened. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

Ever since that night you cried, you wouldn't stop having dreams of Chris' girlfriend dead right on her living room floor as Chris was at the store getting snacks for both of them.

You had pretty much picked up the sign that maybe you should act on what your dreaming about.

You had been looking at where she goes to find the perfect moment to get rid of her, everyone as in your thoughts believed she was most vulnerable at her own home, Alone.

You saw she never acted on her thoughts and was only nice when Chris was around. Maybe she did infact deserve to be gone.

Yeah, "violence isn't always the answer" you thought. But isn't it sometimes? You tried so hard to gaslight yourself into believing you werent a bad person if you murdered someone just because she was a dick to other people and dated the guy you liked.

You followed her for three days straight and she rarely left her house unless it meant meeting up with your future boyfriend, Chris.

And once when you were following her, she realized it.

"Are you fucking following me?" She spat getting some of her damn spit on your face. Gross.

"What? No im waiting for my friends" You lied straight out of your teeth.

"Let's not lie hon, the only reason your following me is because you like MY boyfriend Chris so bad and you want to be me. But lets be honest, with the amount of depression and loneliness you hold, your future is absolute shit." She said.

Yeah she may have gagged but you wanted to stab her throat right there and then. If it weren't for all these morons watching the scene her guts would have been entirely ripped out of her stomach.

You walked away from her slowly going to this random group of people you didn't know,

But quickly went back to following her home.

It darkened quite quickly and you quietly entered through the open bathroom window. "What a fucking idiot" you thought.

She was on call with Chris completely ignoring what he was saying,

"hey, are you listening?" he said sweetly.

"yeah! of course" she said sarcastically.

You'd watched her every move, if she even moved an inch you'd want to drop kick this hoe into god knows where.

"hey, chris, i always feel somebody's watching me. i dont know why." she said, clearly scared of some presence always watching her every move.

They eventually hung up and you walked closer to her, my boots would creek everytime you'd move but you wouldn't complain.

"Who's there‽" she asked afraid to actually go and see.

She quickly locked her house through her phone.

Keeping your ghostface role you gave her a call from an unknown number,

"Who's this?" she asked in a rude tone.

"Do you think i made it inside your house before you could rearm?" you asked with my voice changer.

She hung up, scared. You could see it in her watery brown almost black eyes she was afraid. But you couldn't care less and acted on proceeding with your plans.

You went up behind her and ran your knife straight on her lower abdomen. She screamed so loud you bashed her head right on her marble counter causing her to drop on her floor. You continued to stab her on her stomach and on her chest, watching her choke on her own blood gave you some type of satisfaction.

Maybe you were insane or maybe you liked watching people you hated suffer to death.

She tried yelling but wasn't able to because of how you cut her throat. Ear to ear.

You didn't give a fuck about the mess in her house but you took her lifeless pale body and tossed it into and trash can. You dragged it towards your house and to your backyard and began to dig up a hole to the size of her body.

You had a crippling anxiety of getting caught but did it matter at this given moment? absolutely fucking not.

You threw her body in the hole and covered it then went inside your house but right when you opened your door, you saw a pale chris standing inside your house.

"Who are you? you killed her. you fucking psycho." he spat clearly angry and horrified.

He tried walking out but you pushed him making fall and slide back on the floor.

"Dont fucking start with me because im not afraid to end another life!" you threatened.

He moved back as you stepped closer,

"P-please no!" he stuttered.

"No one wants you to die sweetheart, but sometimes you dont really have choice." you said while holding your knife against his pale, creamy skinned neck.

"I won't snitch! please!" he begged as he squirmed to get out of your tight hold.

"stop fucking moving!" you spat cutting open his neck as his warm dark red blood spilled everywhere.

You were in awe as he chokes on his own blood trying to breathe but can't. You started to feel bad but sometimes you can grieve over the stuff you should and shouldn't have done.

And suddenly you found yourself sobbing, trying to find a way to help yourself stop what you did but you couldn't. There was absolutely nothing to justify both of the murders you committed that night.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

[darlingmaakun]

HIIII a little inspired by 🍓anon....can i request himeru going out for some drinks with his s/o (not necessarily alcohol) (at least in s/o's case) and when himeru gets drunk he suddenly becomes more affectionate and shows more pda, making his s/o super flustered >_< FEEL FREE TO IGNORE IF U DONT FEEL COMFORTABLE WRITING THIS BTW

gorgeous

pairing — himeru x gn ! reader

synopsis — due to rinnes amazing manipulation tactics, himeru gets really drunk and you’re on watch duty.

warnings — established relationship, fluff fluff fluff, himeru refers to himself using “i” 1 time, drinking obv, readers pronouns arent mentioned but he does call them gorgeous, crazy:b cameo

authors note — im SOOOO sorry this took so long for me to write!! im in vacation rn and ive been movint all around so ive only been able to write at night, but its finally done!!

word count — 1.1k

It was Rinne’s idea to celebrate with going out.

“It’s a big event! You don’t just drop an album everyday of the week, do you Merumeru??” he claimed.

Even though everyone was aware that he just wanted an excuse to get piss drunk and fuck with all his friends.

Which is exactly how you and himeru ended up in this situation.

Rinne, as per usual, was drunk and embarrassing the entire group. After he had coaxed almost everybody (you and (obviously) Kohaku being the exceptions), into having some sort of drink, you were stuck babysitting.

Niki was slouched over poor Kohaku crying about how Rinne is a ‘blood sucking leech’ (Niki’s words, not his) and Rinne was talking to his fourth girl of the night and this time he was determined to get in this ones pants.

You let out a pathetic sigh at the situation and look over at your boyfriend Himeru, who has been silent with a very noticeable blush on his face since Rinne practically manipulated him into drinking. He seemed like he was lost in thought, staring off into space. You put your hand on his shoulder, bringing him back to reality.

“Hey, are you alright? You zoned out there..”

Himeru looks over at your comment and looks right into your eyes, his cheeks flare even more red than before. His pupils slightly dilate, but you don’t catch that in the moment. But what you do notice, is the crooked grin that appears on his face when you two lock eyes.

“Hi—hic- baby.” he stutters out while putting his head on your shoulder. He wraps his arms around your torso. His left hand ends up on the side of your upper thigh and the right on your lower back. Your neck flushes red up to your cheeks and you turn your head so that he doesn’t notice.

But he does notice. Yeah he notices, alright. And he all but engraved that image of that image of your flustered state into your mind.

Your eyes that just so happened to away from his golden ones as soon as they both meet, your hands that “accidentally” start fidgeting together, your leg that coincidentally started bouncing up and down as soon as his fingertips graze it.

yeah, what a coincidence.

Whilst Himeru is having his borderline epiphany, you finally build up the courage to look back at your blue haired boyfriend. You take in his current state. His golden eyes that usually hold a look of sternness, have resorted to, in simpler terms, puppy dog eyes. His lips were slightly parted and his eyebrows raised, he looked almost surprised.

“H-hi Himeru..” You nervously smile at him and slightly press your hand to his shoulder. He takes the hint and sits back up in the booth you both were sat in. All without breaking eye contact. He stares into your eyes and doesn’t say a word before smashing his lips onto yours. You squint as the throbbing from your teeth being smashed together flows throughout your entire body. Even so, sudden expression of love takes you by surprise, but you melt into it as your hands find their way to the sides of his heads. His hands dance from his side to your thighs as they eventually find their place back to their waist, where they always end up.

As you both pull away and catch your breath, you pull him back into a kiss. This time, he’s the one shocked, as you’re not one to do such an act of affection in public, but his lips eventually start to move in a rhythm that matches yours. What really takes him by surprise though, is when you fall over on your back into the booth and pull him on top of you. The kiss separates and erupts into a fit of giggles from both parties.

You sit up from your position and lean against the wall of the booth. Himeru gets up too and sits normally while looking at you. You both take a minute to breathe and take in the current situation. Both of your faces are burning red, but you’re pretty sure his is mostly from the alcohol ingested in his system. His hair is slightly messy from your hands and his shirt is wrinkled from the previous various positions. His lips are red and slightly swollen from all the kissing. You look down at yourself and attempt to evaluate your own state, which is basically the same as his.

“you’re so gorgeous.”

It was quiet. Nearly a whisper, and if you weren’t paying very close attention, you wouldn’t have caught it. But you did, and it made you snap your head to look at him so fast, you thought you pulled a muscle in your neck. The words made your knees go weak, so much so that you’re certainly sure that if you were standing you would fall over. Your cheeks flush red and by instinct you take your hands to cover it. This caused quite a stir out of Himeru and he quickly reached his hand to grab yours before he even knew what he was doing.

“please don’t cover your face.” He pleads. It takes you by surprise seeing him ask such a thing since he usually has his guard up at all times, and overall just wouldn’t usually say something like this. You bring your hands down slowly and look him in the eyes. He giggles at your slightly surprised expression and puts his face really close to yours. At first you thought he was leaning in to kiss you, but Himeru had other ideas.

“I love you.”

Though the room was crowded, it felt as if you two were the only ones there. The words he whispered right against your lips were only for you to know that night. Your lips crack into a smile as you run your hands through his hair for the nth time that night and pull him into a kiss. It wasn’t like the other ones though, quick and eager, no, this one was slow. Though silent, this kiss spoke a million words between you two, the way it usually was.

Somewhere in the restaurant, Niki’s currently doing some dumb shit with Rinne on one side of his encouraging whatever he’s doing, with Kohaku on the other side trying to stop him (and stop Rinne in the meantime). Kohaku goes to make an attempt to ask Himeru to help him, but it quickly disappointed when he sees his out of character-like state and your flushed face. He sighs and switches his attention back to the two drunken idiots he’s stuck babysitting.

[beekissies]

i finished it ....!!!!! no title because i cant think of one and its just called radiation in my gdocs 😭 cw for self harm, blood, death, kind of unhealthy ideas about love ... wc is around 1.4k! ^_^ i had a lot of fun writing this so im glad to have somewhere to put it now . the entire thing utc!

ACUTE RADIATION SICKNESS IS A COLLECTION OF HEALTH EFFECTS THAT ARE CAUSED BY BEING EXPOSED TO HIGH AMOUNTS OF IONIZING RADIATION IN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.

When Arthur is lucid again, he finds himself in the mall, twirling his sword deeper into the hole he’s begun to drill into the floor. 

The clock on the banged-up PC near to him reads midnight, January 1st, 1999. He can hear the drone whirring in the food court, Amir playing away at his arcade games, Lettie’s rats scuttling around in the hall. Everything is as it should be. 

But Arthur’s mind is stuck in the past — the future? — still hung up on the sight of Loren’s blood on the glass, the tang of his blood in his mouth, the lingering weight of their consciousness sidled up next to his own as they walked him out of the reactor. A devotion he doesn’t deserve. A gentleness so sweet it makes him ache.

A set of footsteps come to a stop in front of him. Arthur is torn between wanting to meet their gaze and being wholly unable to.

“Hey,” Loren says, offering him a wan smile.

“Hey, yourself,” he says in reply. Idly, his gaze catches on the shallow curve of their smile, and he thinks again of the reactor, the way they looked at him, spoke to him. 

For a moment, they just stand there in silence. His sword twirls against the floor. Their metal claw taps incessantly against their thigh.

“Happy birthday, by the way,” Arthur says, eventually.

Their eyes widen a fraction, and their lips split into a sharp, toothy grin, canines catching on their lower lip. “You remembered?”

He returns their smile, but can’t look them directly in the eye. “Course I did. That’s what friends do, isn’t it?”

“Friends,” they echo, as if gauging how the word feels in their mouth. It leaves a bitter taste in his. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

Arthur swallows down the lump in his throat, and stifles his meager hope with it, colder still than the new year chill.

SYMPTOMS CAN START WITHIN AN HOUR OF EXPOSURE, AND CAN LAST FOR SEVERAL MONTHS.

Winter melts into spring. Lettie scolds Loren for not changing the bandages on their hand — dios mío, you’re just like a child — and the group of them finally manage to sit together for that game of Fables and Frontiers that Amir’s been wanting to play. 

Loren comes back to the mall smelling of a dizzying mix of flowers and gunpowder. They set their pistol down on a table and sit next to him, close enough that Arthur can see the moles that dot their face — on their temple, the bridge of their nose, their cupid’s bow. 

He rubs a bit of dirt off their cheek with his thumb. An unconscious action, as natural as the spin of his sword against the floor. He tries not to think of the way they lean into his touch, tries not to cup their face just a little longer.

A moment passes, and they pull away. They turn from him, their attention stolen by something else, someone else, somewhere else. Drifter’s gotta drift, as Quincy would say — Arthur knows too well about birds in cages and dogs on leashes, so he starts tallying out all he would give to drift along with them, instead.

“Go on,” he says, a smile lifting up the corner of his lips. “You have that look on your face again. Don’t let me hold you up.”

They glance back at him, hesitant. “...Okay,” they concede. “I won’t be long. Wait for me?”

“Of course,” he replies, as if there was ever any doubt.

Their hand slips out of his — when did they do that? Why didn’t he notice? — and he watches them leave. The sunlight spilling in through the skylight hits them just right, and for a fleeting moment, the air leaves Arthur’s lungs.

THE SPEED OF SYMPTOM ONSET IS RELATED TO RADIATION EXPOSURE, WITH GREATER DOSES RESULTING IN A SHORTER DELAY IN SYMPTOM ONSET.

As the summer sun sets over the horizon, Arthur watches as Loren wipes the blood off his sword before they head back to the mall. He sits beside them, idly tapping his finger against his thigh along to whatever shitty pop song is playing over the park’s techrotted speakers. 

They sit in silence, and he just watches the way their hands move back and forth, and back and forth. In another life, this would have been romantic. And if they were anyone else anytime else, maybe they would’ve called each other lovers. 

But there’s a part of him that believes he doesn’t want to be anyone else or want anyone else but them. There’s a part of him that really quite likes them here, now, covered in blood and grime on an even bloodier and grimier bench.

Alas.

“All done,” Loren says, placing his sword back in its scabbard and putting it on his lap. They let out a soft breath, their gaze flickering over the rest of the park as the street lamps flicker on. “There’s a place like this in Duviri, you know. I think you’d like it there.”

“Yeah?” he muses. “Maybe you should take me there sometime.”

A laugh, light and short and airy. “...Maybe. If I find a way to take you with me.”

Arthur allows himself to entertain the thought, and his gaze softens as he notices Loren seemingly doing the same, too.

“Let’s take the long way back,” he says. 

They blink up at him, watching him stand and adjust the sword strapped to his back. “Okay. What for?”

He swallows down both the lump in his throat and the words he knows he’s going to regret later. “Just to make sure we shake off any patrols tailing us,” he says, a half-truth, and pragmatic enough an excuse that Loren nods in agreement. He’s known them long enough to know they would’ve agreed regardless — that they would put his sword up to their throat themself if he asked them to. Butcher and livestock, executioner and criminal. 

It scares him, sometimes. But he offers his hand to help them up and squeezes them tighter when they don’t let go. 

IN THE FOLLOWING HOURS OR WEEKS, INITIAL SYMPTOMS MAY SEEM TO IMPROVE —

Loren’s hand sits just inches away from his own on the railing. 

They’re busy watching the fireworks, their face lighting up in vibrant blues and reds and yellows. A small smile tugs the corner of their lips upwards as they turn to him and catch him staring. 

Arthur returns their smile, his gaze lingering on their eyes, their lips, then drifting downwards — their glove is wet and sticky, and leaves a red stain on the railing where their hand sits.

“...Are you okay?” they ask, their eyebrows furrowing.

“Are you?” 

“Of course I am…” they trail off, pulling their hand closer to themself. It leaves red skid marks on the metal that has his stomach churning.

— BEFORE THE DEVELOPMENT OF ADDITIONAL SYMPTOMS —

“Can… I see?” he asks.

They hem and haw. Their eyes flicker around, looking anywhere but him, even as they wordlessly offer their hand to him like a puzzle piece sliding into its place, warm and slick with blood. 

“I wish you’d stop doing this,” he mutters.

“Sorry,” they reply.

“I just want to know why you do it,” he continues.

“Sorry…” they reply.

— AFTER WHICH, EITHER DEATH

“That wasn’t an answer,” he says lightly, hoping to coax a laugh out of them. Instead, their face only seems to crumple further. “Hey, you don’t have to—”

“It’s a gift. From you,” they say eventually. They flex their hand, the wound oozing onto his palm. “It helps me remember you. And I like it, so…”

His other hand comes up to cover theirs. “It must be a really shitty gift, then,” he says. 

They laugh hollowly. “No, it’s good,” they say. “It makes me think of you.”

“I don’t want you to hurt for me,” he says with a frown. 

They smile wanly. “It doesn’t hurt. Really.”

“Even so.” His hand trails upwards to their cheek, tracing the scar cutting across their face with his thumb. He smears their own blood on them, stark red against their pale skin, and they lean into his touch. 

Somewhere else, the new year’s countdown starts in earnest. They lean closer to him, their head against his neck, his arm around their waist. He thinks of the reactor. Their consciousness sidled up next to his in his own head — the open secret sits between them, warm and tender and unignorable as an open wound. 

This time, he holds them close and doesn’t pull away.

OR RECOVERY FOLLOW.