#im having thoughts. and feelings. so on
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dusk grew close to a few people in the past, but their inevitable passing hurt her enough to make her shut herself away in her paintings to avoid experiencing that again
chongyue also grew close to many people who left him the same way...but instead of avoiding it, he tried to bridge the gap by trying to become mortal himself
though that was never completely possible
#arknights#dusk#chongyue#im having thoughts. and feelings. so on#chongyue may just have the body of a man#but his experiences are enough to make him inhuman#post#also I really want to reread who is real#still my⊠third? fav ak event
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Finally now that the comic is fully public on comicfury, I get to share it with all of you here, too <3
If you enjoyed, please consider supporting by buying a PDF of the comic on itch.io: https://tawnysoup.itch.io/home-in-the-woods
#I'd rather not clutter the caption so I'll ramble a little in the tags#HitW is short but special to me as it represents and encapsulates some hard life experiences I was going through at the time of its creatio#Ofc in a more metaphorical manner! but. I have been very much enjoying reading people's comments and speculation as its been posting#the interpretations are so meaningful and varied and i love that and really want to encourage anyone to reflect on what it means to them#for me making this comic was a way to process and move past trauma. i feel like it ends anti-climactically but i wanted to be true to#where i thought things were actually going in my life moreso than to veer towards impact. ultimately im glad i managed to finish it#and for it to finish going public right before the new year? maybe i can see this as shedding that old pain in time to become something new#so thank you for reading for supporting and for still being here. lets wake up to 2025 with wind in our sails#Home in the Woods#my art#my comics#original comic#cw guns#cw blood#cw body horror
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I donât owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. Theyâre always passing urges, but itâs disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brainâs spent so long thinking only about suicide that itâs forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But Iâm trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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to moving forward
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#satoru gojo#jjk manga spoilers#hina.comic#before any1 says anything i KNOw his birthday is in december ik ik ik this is just 2 show some post-battle bonding after the trauma#its winter in canon n megumi's birthday has passed and he spent it being piloted like a mech so they need to celebrate Now!!#also this was technically a request lmao anon wanted megumi birthday angst hehehehhe i hope u like it <3 bc it KILLED ME DEAD#im going to collapse remember when i said this wasnt harder than the hydrangeas im having second thoughts#page 8 made me want to bash my head in#could have stuck with one flashback image could have left them monochrome could have done literally anything 2 ease the workload#but noooo the chronic overachiever in me would not allow it#rule of threes i had to include all of them and they Had to be in colour it wouldn't have hit the same if i had kept it monochrome#i needed it to look how childhood memories look i needed it to look oversaturated and hazy and fond but unmistakably Gone#it may have killed me but im so proud of this rn like from an art style perspective these megumis and yuujis r top tier by my standards#personal favourites r the first and last panel of crying megumi like not 2 pat myself on th back but expression?????? hello??????#enjoy your cake megumi you've earned it <333 sorry fr hurting ur feelings it will happen again#oh my god i can sleep tonight bless <333 and i met my 3 day deadline NICE im so good at what i do
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arthur morgan tiddies and tummy thats all im gonna say
#my art#arthur morgan#rdr2 arthur#arthur morgan rdr2#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#man i have so many feelings about him#thinking a lot of thoughts#like that happy trail im currently staring at#no im not i gotta go guys bye
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Just outside the [ANGEL]'s line of sight,
two puppets recognize each other.
#my art#deltarune#kris#spamton#im not sure how in character this is but it made me sad when i thought of it so now you all have to feel it too#im so sorry you two i wish i could save you#but when i look away you stop existing so the only mercy i can grant you is a gentle hand on the crossbar
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thinking about the fact that they made a point to tell us that there are no cameras in the vents. like- lucy gray is a performer, she is always performing, it is her calling and her survival mechanism and when we meet her she literally cannot stop performing because she is always on camera or being perceived- by coriolanus, by the capital, by her fellow tributes and the folks back at 12. but for that one, awful moment, in the vents, watching dill drink the poisoned water she laid as a trap- for that one moment in the whole entire movie, lucy gray isnât being observed. that is the only moment in the entire movie she isnât performing for someone else, and she uses it to grieve
#im having THOUGHTS and FEELINGS#the tbosas brainrot is so real#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#the hunger games#tbosas#lucy gray baird#coriolanus snow#tbosas spoilers#the ballad of songbirds and snakes spoilers#5k#10k
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Act I ~ The Prince
A tapestry for Let No One Sleep by @azalawa-scroggs on ao3
#narumitsu#wrightworth#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#nmbb24#happy nrmt big bang!!! there are two more of theseâŠ..#but youâll have to wait for them#fan art#aa#ace attorney#dick gumshoe#maya fey#manfred von karma#âŠbro is creepingâŠ#wHEEWWWW ok took me a bazillion years to catch up with my day but HERE ARE MY THOUGHTS ON THIS ONE:#the border is intended to be read in counter clockwise direction#so: top -> left -> bottom -> right#and YES the sun and the moon are intentionally associated with the attorney's and prosecutor's badges respectively#phoenix and miles are our sun and moon throughout this story so be sure to look for that in the fic too!!#this style was very experimental for me but i wanted it to mimic the feeling of a tapestry hence me referring to it that way#i WISH this was fabric that would be sick as fuck#i will eventually share a proper breakdown of the thoughts and intentions behind everything but for now...#im gonna miss Phoenixâs cloak bc im obsessed with the design actually. wish that thing was real too#miles is my cunty little bitchboy in this wearing his thousand pound fur coat and the suitor stompy boots#if you thought that was a rug and went Oh. ...that was on purpose :^)))))#rendevok#id in alt text
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It seems there's a new lawyer in town!!!
#I think she's one of the most underutilized characters ever I will DIE on this hill#she can hear people's feelings that is the COOLEST concept ever#you get people who can hear thoughts a lot and that's cool but hearing FEELINGS is such a sick and unique concept#AND SHES A LAWYER#THATS THE COOLEST CAREER YOU COULD GIVE SOMEONE WHO CAN HEAR FEELINGS THAT OPENS DOORS FOR SO MANY GOOD STORIES#I'D LOVE IN AA TO PLAY CASES AS HER WHERE YOU HAVE TO WORK BACKWARDS FROM PEOPLE'S EMOTIONS TO FIGURE OUT MYSTERIES#IT'S A WHOLE NEW SIDE TO THE EVIDENCE#AND SUBTLE HIDDEN FEELINGS KEEP GUIDING HER AND PPL JUST CANT KEEP UP WITH HOW SHE WORKS... STUFF LIKE THAT WOULD BE INTERESTING#WHY ISN'T IT UTILIZED WHY DO WE JUST HAVE PSUEDOSCIENCE MINIGAME#ATHENA IS SO LIKEABLE AND CHARMING AND FULL OF LIFE TOO#PLEASE CAPCOM#I LOV E HER PLEASE#GIVE US A CRAZY MOMENT WHERE SHE TAKES PHOENIX ASIDE HALFWAY THROUGH A CASEAND TELLS HIM HIS CLIENT WAS JUST ELATED AT THE SIGHT OF A CORPS#OR DO IT IN THE GAMEPLAY WHERE THE PLAYER SPOTS IT IN THE MOOD MATRIX#omg yeah actually that'd make me shit my pants that'd be so cool#proper ghost trick moment#THERE'S SO MUCH COOL STUFF YOu can do fuck okay sorry there are so many tags now#can you tell I got feelings abt this character I LOVE HER so much Im in love w her tbh and she's also so me#ace attorney#athena cykes#my art#have a good day thanks for looking at my art haha
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Man is it just me or are a lot of TV shows nowadays are written to have big emotional episodes in scenes with very little build up.
#txt#i have some thoughts on a certain show.... maybe i'll talk about it lol#like you would think with shortened seasons these writers would try to limit the cast so that big scenes feel more earned... but they dont?#they want these big massive expansive casts with big emotional moments by episode 2 and then every episode needs that Big Scene#i noticed this especially with a lot of indie animated shows#pacing and build up is sacrificed so we can have big emotional scenes with characters we know very little#even indie shows i enjoy im just kind of like âwouldnt this feel more earned if i actually knew this characterâ#and sometimes it works. pluto made me cry in the first episode! but it also spent so much time with these characters because#they're an hour long each
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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if you havent read my wife's gf fanfic WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!
(no sound)
#gravity falls#billford#gf theseus' guide#bill cipher#stanley pines#stanford pines#mabel pines#dipper pines#m.png#love having secret spoiler knowledge so i know whats on mabels sweater#4 hard years of learning storyboarding in college and the first animatic i make in the YEARS since i graduated....... is for a gf fic#who would have seen this coming... not me.... but then who would have thought my wife was a FUCKING GENIUS#if ur still not sold. my brother in laws review of the fic is 'it feels like im watching an episode of gravity falls'#and i gotta agree. the tone and characters are fucking nailed the whole way through#and chapter 7 makes me cry đ
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The scene in the Barbie trailer when Barbie is skating around with Ken and asks "Why is everyone staring at me?"
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE AN ADOLESCENT GIRL.
Living in Barbieland (childhood girlhood) but then suddenly you're all grown up in the real world subject to scrutiny and sexualisation (the guy slapping Barbie's ass) and feeling like existing is a crime?
Being forced by adult men into a box (which leads to the not like other girls syndrome) and exploring the 'real world' (being forced to grow up too quickly) while fighting the realisation that maybe the world sucks and being a woman is so difficult while hoping with all your heart that it's not always going to be this way.
Losing touch with the very things that made you happy because they're considered immature and girly? (The group of teens that said they hadn't played with Barbies since they were five.)
Older women telling you that you have to learn the truth about the world and that you can never have your old life back (Kate Mckinnon's Barbie) despite it being the only thing you yearn for, but also older women being a bright spot and support (the old woman on the bench) in the endless slough of life.
And this is just the trailer!!! I'm so excited for this movie I can't breathe, Greta Gerwig the woman that you are đ
#barbie#more thoughts on this when my mental coherence returns#but ahhh!#im also really excited to see america ferrera's role because I have a feeling it's gonna be pivotal#Barbie meta#the barbie movie#barbie (2023)#shut up im so excited#ken is the emotional support pet every adolescent girl needs#THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A TEENAGE GIRL#i already love this movie so much#and it hasnt even released#thoughts r scattered cuz the trailer is that good
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subject, specimen, spectacle;
should i say that you're dead?
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#jjk satoru#satoru gojo#gojo#bugs/#insects/#eye horror/#every time i post gojo art i feel scummy using like . the slew of tags this mf has#im like wow u look desperate gdfjkdjkg#listen ok im not a gojomain idk where people look fr content#anyway for not a gojomain i sure do have a lot of artistic breakthroughs whenever i draw him#first th eyedoves then lmhs gojo then gojo in the (club) bathroom by himself now this#loathe as i am to admit it i Love how much there is to pick apart of him in art theres so much theres so many angles u cld take#personally my favourite gojo angle in art (tm) is the Cryptically Unsettling Not Sane Not Human what can i say#keep ur thirst trap gojoart i like this guy unblinking and twitchy#on that note here he is pinned down as god intended#i ATE w this concept i fear fgfgsd i wanted a like. pallid formaldehyde dissection table under examination motif#and i was torn between using snakes or bugs to convey it and im SO SOOSOSOO happy i picked the bugs#ive used butterflies a lot they arent anything unfamiliar but truly i felt a chakra unlock when i thought of gojo+butterfly pinning#the burning light the eye the composition i rly think this is some of my best work#also also th poem was smth i came across when i was brainstorming captions and i ws like. gagged @ how well it fit gojo i had to include it#im not a poetry buff so my opinion is very uneducated but i think it was rly haunting and sad and beautiful#fit my target vibe so i took it slapped it on gojo w bugs said thank you verymuch smile :)
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Cooking up an older Clervie outfit design so I don't have to keep drawing her looking like her child self but Long
#genshin impact#clervie#ngl i have so many thoughts about an older clrv's design but at the same time artistically im not that creative </3#mostly tried to make her look more like a direct contrast to arlecchino's design (which was already present but we ignore that)#cause arle's design is mostly very sharp and angular while i'd imagine clervie's being much more rounded out and softer#like they are the round vs pointy cat meme in human form#the hair was really tricky cause on one hand much like everyone else we dont really keep the same hairstyle our entire lives#butttttt at the same time idk i feel like her long hair flowing down (and her headband) are very recognizable parts of her#so i decided to not change much (also cause i dont trust myself making multiple drastic changes without changing their identity too much)#also halfways through coloring I realized she's kinda giving crucabena outfit wise but we ignore that </3#anyways clervie would def be a support/healer character if actually playable (leaning more towards buffer support imo)#ITS A MASSIVE 50/50 IF SHE WOULD BE A HYDRO OR ANEMO USER but i decided hydro for the time being cause it compliments HOTH's dpses more#aka Arlecchino Lyney and partially Freminet since if i remember correctly he's more physical based but cryo nonetheless#i just really like the idea of Clervie's passive being along the lines of boosting stats/dmg if there's HOTH members present in a team#anyways sorry for the text wall I just really need to be kicked out of the kitchen#i am UNDERCOOKING the food#character design is not my passion </3
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horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago
#I DIDNT KNOW I DIDNT KNOWWWWW#when i say damn thats crazy its bc i DO think its crazy i think a lot of things are crazy. like how birds have cloacas#or the way ppl draw a five pointed star in different ways and everyone assumes their way of doing it is how everyone does it#my brother is not letting me live this down btw he literally shouted at me like HOW DID YOU LIVE THIS LONG AND NOT PICK UP ON THAT#IDK!!! IDK I THOUGHT SOMETIMES IT COULD BE USED TO EXPRESS GENUINE SHOCK??????#he says its my delivery that makes it sound insincere bc i say it in a monotonous voice which when i think abt it YEAH....#THAT DOES MAKE IT LOOK KINDA BAD IN HINDSIGHT.....#and then i told him i keep a list of phrases that tickle my brain so i can remember to use them in conversation and apparently#most ppl dont do that bc he was like ???? stop doing that??? just let the conversation flow naturally it sounds fake>????#idk man i feel like if i did that and blurted out 'i forgot people find stuff like underwear arousing for some reason' instead of#smth like 'i wonder what kind of ppl find this kind of stuff the bees knees' like i normally do. it would. not go so well.#ALSO THE FLOW CHARTS ARENT NORMAL? i make flow charts before i call the bank or smth so i know what to say#its not just to blend in its also so i dont waste ppls time going uhhhhh as i think of how i put smth into words#its called stalling for time and i dont care if i have to say smth like thats just how the cookie crumbles if it gives me#5 more seconds to process whatever the fuck someone said without letting them think im not paying attention#doodles#diary#sona#puppysona#comics
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