Tumgik
#im happy to have him but come on! i have other shit to do!
0hnogracie · 2 days
Text
I Love You. Im Sorry.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
SUMMARY : Angst , no happy ending , heartbreak , mention of y/n
Tumblr media
christophersturniolo posted on instagram
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by y/nburniolo and 67,562 others
hello private account 💜
TAGGED : ameliaroselordi
———————————————————————————
USER : what happend to y/n?
view 8k comments
Y/NBURNIOLO : chris?, what is this?
↪️ CHRISTOPHERSTURNIOLO : y/n. I Can explain
NICOLASSTURNIOLO : chris? what the fuck. call me
MATTSTURNIOLO : really? cheating on y/n with a bougie bitch
↪️ Y/NBURNIOLO : Ily matt
USER : this was NOT your private account.
↪️ USER : no shit sherlock
———————————————————————————
After seening chris new post on instagram i didnt know how to react. Do i be mad, Sad? Im honestly both right now. He made me look so stupid, Atleast i know the reason hes been ghosting me. For some rip off blonde bitch thats been wanting to be me?. I always choose the wrong guys. I feel like a fucking fool.
INCOMING CALL ‘ Chris 💜 ‘
I pick it up ‘ What Do You Want Chris? ‘ i spoke softly into the microphone waiting for him to start talking. ‘ Y/n You Have To Let Me Explain! ‘ he says quickly ‘ No Chris You Left Me For Some Bougie Bitch. ‘ I say hanging up starting to tear up all over again. I hear my door open ‘ Chris?! What The Fuck Get Out! ‘ i say shouting at him with tears coming down my face
TWO AUGUSTS AGO .
‘ Please Y/n, Im Sorry. Let Me Explain ‘ He spoke softly ‘ Why Chris?, What Is There To Even Explain. ‘ I say sitting back on my bed avoiding any type of eye contact with chris. ‘ Y/n It Was A Honest Mistake. I Promise. ‘
THATS THE WAY LIFE GOES .
‘ Chris.. We Have To Stop Seeing EachOther. We Either Have To Break Up Or Take A Break. ‘ I spoke firmly holding back the tears that im fighting ‘ Y/n We Cant Break Up. ‘ He Says Sounding Hurt But Im Not Gonna Fall For His Tricks Anymore.
I LOVE YOU, IM SORRY.
‘ Please Y/n. I Love You, Im Sorry. ‘ He Spoke confidently sitting down next to me trying to hold my hand. ‘ But You Still Cheated On Me Right? And You Choose The Girl i HATED The Most. ‘ I say pushing his hands away from mine
YOU WERE THE BEST BUT YOU WERE THE WORST
‘ Y/n Just One More Chanc- ‘ I cut him off ‘ No Chris. Leave My House, And Dont Call Or Text me. ‘ I say making my final decision And pointing at the front door giving him a sign for him to actually leave. ‘ Fine. Bye Y/n I Love You ‘
THATS JUST THE WAY LIFE GOES
His i love you sounded so real but maybe im in denial. I hate men, They never know what they want. I feel Like a loser for whatever just happened just now. Its not like chris but maybe its my mind thinking that.
Y/N HAS CHANGED HER INSTA USER ‘0hnoy/n’
0hnoy/n has posted on instagram
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Liked by Christophersturniolo and 98,721 others
The “ I love you’s “ that are repeated in my head like a music note.
TAGGED : oliviarodrigo
———————————————————————————
USER : Bye y/ns Really pretty 😍
❤️ by 0hnoy/n
OLIVIARODRIGO : Our pumpkins we’re so good 😊!!
↪️ 0HNOY/N : I agree MY FAV ONE GOT MESSED UP.
CHRISTOPHERSTURNIOLO : i meant it
↪️ USER : what does this mean ?
↪️ 0HNOY/N : Idk him
disliked by christophersturniolo
View more comments ….
CHRIS 💜
y/n please talk to me
Y/N 😊❤️
What?
CHRIS 💜
Can we try over?
Y/N 😊❤️
Not a chance chris. Stop texting me or im blocking you.
CHRIS 💜
But!
*a contact has been blocked*
A few months later I made a song called ‘ I love you im sorry ‘ Publishing it. It blew up and i gained more support and followers supporting my music i even gained some fanpages and edits. Until i seen a dm from someone i never wanted to see again.
———————————————————————————
A/N : sorry guys deal w that ending cus idk how to end this story AND I LIKE NEVER WRITED BEFORE SO THIS IS KINDA MY FIRST STORY PLS GUVE TIPS OR SMTH THANK U.
61 notes · View notes
l0stfoster · 2 days
Note
Hey its paul anon again (thanks for the name 🫡) sorry ive been bombarding you with questions but I absolutely love this au and i love everyone to bits
So, can you go into more detail about darry and paul . Like, as much info abt them as you can throw at me those two are my boys . Like how did they officially get together , how did Paul go abt moving in and whats that situation like .
Also, when Paul is like kicked out and cut off from the family, does he end up just,, losing everything? I mean like, did his parents even let him get his belongings or did all he have was the clothes on his body and trauma. I would imagine his parents had control over his bank account too so they like shut that down too so he’s out here broke as fuck JHSJSHSJ sorry im just yapping
Anon never apologizes for asking I'm so open to answering them bc I love this au and I adore that so many people like it too. Parry fans are eating good bc the writers love Cursed!Parry just as much. I'll answer your questions ab them before I yap. To be totally honest, those two did not ever really make it official. Doing that requires two things they lack; emotional openness and no internalized homophobia. They both told themselves for the longest time that it wasn't a relationship... even after they started saying "I love you" in Latin and Fae respectively (Paul knows Latin bc spells, Darry knows Fae for obvious reasons), or when each other realized managed to figure out WHAT the other was saying,, or when they started sharing a bed and waking up intertwined,,, or when they started using far too affectionate pet names,,, or when things became far too intimate for it to be casual. They never actually make it official, one day they just slip into calling each other their boyfriends. The most official it ever got was when they flat out went "Oh yeah, we're dating" to the gang. The gang was making bets on that, by the way. Pony said weeks, Soda said a month, Steve said two, Two-Bit said a year. Ace got it right down to the date and time, nobody knows how she did it. They have no anniversary because they have no fucking idea when they really "got together". Paul never truly moved in either, he kinda just went from crashing there whenever his car wasn't an option, to taking up the couch almost every night, to sleeping in Darry's room, and eventually, it was just an unspoken thing that he was officially a member of the household. They have to kick him out for the day whenever the social worker comes to check on things, cause Darry can NOT take the risk of some kind of bad outcome to his mere existence. OK MORE GENERAL PARRY - Being with Paul reminds Darry that he's only 20 and still allowed to be something other than "the adult" sometimes. That brings a whole KIND of happiness that he can't describe. Dude's tail is fucked up due to physical trauma but that bitch wags so fast with Paul. - Darry on the other hand just generally grounds Paul. He's so used to the way of life that was on the west side that everything going on there is overwhelming sometimes. - They're very bad with vocal I love you's in English but they will say that shit ALL the time in different languages or through their actions. - Uh after Paul got jumped and had his letterman jacket stolen, Darry gave him an old denim jacket of his own bc Paul hated having his arms out in the open. - Pony audibly gags every time they're lovey-dovey. He's not homophobic unless you're Paul and Darry. - They'd shotgun cigarettes when they were younger (and the only reason they don't anymore is the account of Darry wanting to keep the fact that he smokes every rare occurrence on the down low) - Darry's purring has healing properties like a cat's purr (all of the brothers' have it actually) so this mf will just drag Paul down to cuddle and purr. - They are.. so down bad for each other. Darry does anything and Paul swoons, and they've def had an interaction that goes something like this: Paul, knowing Darry cant lie: "How do you feel about me right now?" Darry, immediately: "I'd marry you if I could." Paul & Darry:
Tumblr media
As for being kicked out, Paul's parents quite literally just. Booted him, barely a warning. One minute he's arguing back for the first time since their keeping up appearances at the police event, and the next he's being dragged by the arm and shoved out of the house with threats of being killed if he dares to show his face back there. Just like that, all of it's pretty much gone; save for the clothes on his back and whatever he'd been carrying-- which was really only his car keys and his wallet. He was sleeping in his car for a bit until Two and Pony vaguely got on his ass because Darry's calls were going to voicemail and he was stupid enough to let it slip that he wasn't living at home anymore. Pony, being Pony, snitched. Can't have shit with that little gremlin around- so after finding his dumbass after having had the equivalent of an aneurism over suddenly being ghosted by Paul, Darry extended the offer for Paul to stay with them. He doesn't mind it being a permanent solution, but Paul is.. less fond for a few reasons; so he tries not to impose much while he looks for work. (He does eventually get something sorted out, so yippie! Helps with the bills what a guy) FORGOT TO ADD. He sneaks home at one point to try and get some of his shit because he knows where the spare key is, but gets cold feet at the door because he genuinely doesn't know if his dad will keep up with that threat.
28 notes · View notes
hearties-circus · 23 days
Text
See the issue with maladaptive daydreaming is that whenever I get into something new i run the risk that one of its characters is gonna lodge themselves into my brain and become my new best friend and I have no choice in the matter
5 notes · View notes
uygfiug · 2 months
Text
sometimes my parents make me want to commit violent crimes
#mine#sorry for putting this on your dash im just angry & have no one i can really bother with this#my brother said he wasnt sure if he wanted to come with us to a castle tomorrow#but hes too young to be home alone all day#so i went to tell my parents bc i sidnt think they wanted to learn that tomorrow morning#instead of even asking why they immediately started with the passive agressive comments#and in an annoyed tone going 'i just dont get what could be so bad about a day of fun with family'#first of all he didnt even say he wasnt goint#second shut the fuck up#he cant speak anymore & is crying#i offer him a bunch of alternatives while my father insults each one and makes it sound ridiculous#while my brother types on his phone#my father starts ranting at my parent about it#as if my brother isnt right fucking there and also 11 years old#im so happy he isnt coming with us#like yeah i never see him but the times i do are always so horrible that im kinda glad about it#he avoids us like the plague & we avoid him back#my parent is fine most of the time#but never in situations like this#if other people are upset in a way that inconviences them theyre shit about it too#anything related to not doing good in school also#and like im fine#im upset sometimes sure but i know i dont deserve this & i can deal with it fine#i dont think my brother deals with it very well though#so im very worried about him#especially bc i think high school is going to be a big struggle for him#possibly more than me#and tbh i think im more of a parental figure to him than our actual parents
16 notes · View notes
theokusgallery · 7 months
Text
The problem with my art right now is that 1) the little drawing time I have goes to @daily-basil ; 2) I have phases, and am currently deeply unmotivated ; and 3) when I do draw what this blog is currently about (Arsenic) I draw him in a gay way (because I love him deeply) and not like the unhinged person he actually is. I'm sorry I'm so soft about him right now. Yes I want Sunny and him to tear each other apart but they also need to love each other so so so much first
#siiiiiiigh...#im sorry i need him to hold sunny gently and tells him he loves him and yes he'll say it in horrible unhinged ways BUT#poor man who does not know how to love and does not know he can be loved. he is convinced he needs to manipulate people to make them stay#writing down arsenic lore for tosteur like two days ago made me so emotional about him. shaking and crying#there's not even like An Event it's just that his whole childhood sucks and he's never been accepted by anyone and he's so lonely and#(starts crying)#he does horrible horrible things but all he does to sunny truly comes from love. deeply inhumane and twisted love but love nonetheless#(except when he's being a selfish ass who doesn't have any sort of morals and generally doesn't give a shit about other people. of course)#god he's such a horrible person (/simplification) i love him#he does not care about hurting other people and only cares about his own selfish desires#he thinks he can do anything he wants and if other people get hurt by his actions it's not his problem#don't you DARE touch a single hair on sunny's head. not in a 'i care about my bf' way btw.#but because if sunny gets hurt. he has to deal with that and 1) it's boring unless it brings him something and 2) that's *his* plaything.#even when he does nice things for sunny he doesn't make it just to make sunny happy#he does it so that sunny will associate happiness with him and stay.#that's what he thinks consciously at least. he always had ulterior motives for everything he does#it doesn't really make him calculating because it's automatic at this point. it just makes him deeply selfish#my poor little boy who has never had anyone genuinely care about him before...#which doesn't excuse shit of course but hhhh i love him so much.#(D if you see this. this is about the OC not the guy. of course)#arsenic#rant#sometimes i think about nick like a normal person ('he's so awful and interesting') and sometimes i just slhrflfbfb. (cries)
18 notes · View notes
acebytaemin · 11 months
Text
my god i just woke up from THE most detailed gentle and heartbreaking dream about jinki im in my bed like 😮 what was THAT
#so it was way too detailed for me to get into everything but it started with him being sad and like not wanting to speak to anyone#and i was sitting on the floor doing some writing & was like hi come here so he sat down like in between my legs and rested against me#i asked if he wanted to talk but he didn’t so i let it be and kept writing but couldn’t really focus#and then minho got there and was like ‘oh good he’s here’ and i was like what happened#and minho explained that like they were planning to do a world tour and album as shinee but jinki didn’t want to participate bc of the way#it was being handled#like there was a promo poster that was super insensitive towards jonghyun too#and a bunch of other things and then it flashed back to jinki filming a teaser for the tour and it was super intricate and too much for me#to type up right now but he looked so happy & smiley#like to make a point that he had wanted to be there until all the shit went down#and then it flashed back to me holding him and i stopped writing (or pretending to anyway) and just held him#there was no minho at that point and it felt like it was hours#and now i’m up and Shaken a little. not to be off the rails you’ll understand as I’m still affected by the dream but like it was so nice to#see him smile im still feeling the feeling like. relief and joy whew whatever he’s doing rn i hope he takes all the time in the world if he#needs/wants to & im grateful to have seen him smile even as a dream
14 notes · View notes
volivolition · 4 months
Note
Idk if you saw or not but a new chapter of the fury of a shattered mirror dropped last night! I haven’t read it yet but I thought I should let you know 😎👍
awughgh HELL YEAH!! ive been away from my laptop for a while so i didnt see, thank you birdy!! :] this is the best news ive had all day hkjgh <33 excited very excited going to read it now <33
#volta transmissions#SKILLS ARE BACK BABEYYYYYYY!! ehehehehe :] oh i LOVE seeing them come back from just ''??????'' SMILES REALLY HAPPILY#welcome back to the world little ones... oh im so happy to see them... :'] ''You do you softie'' EHEHE... skills interactions :D! yay!!!!!#okay i'll add more liveblogging in the tags as i go probably hkjhg <33 i appreciate you very much birdy <33#''the avant-garde prick is just making shit up again'' HAKJDHKJ... ''You did us proud holding out til the end'' WAH... ENDURANCE... ;O;#WELCOME BACK ENCY SMILES!!! no motorics skills yet though thats to be expected hkjh <3 ency ''you have the facts'' and#empathy ''and the emotions'' HKJGH IS THAT A FACTSFEELINGS SKILLSPOSTING REFERENCE /J lots of voli talking!!! very happy about this <3#VOLITION - ''if we had the logician here...'' ''...'' ''damnit i thought that would work'' HAHAJKSHDSKJH SMILES. HA.#''Punch something. maybe Coach will show up'' HHFKJH... oh my god this makes me so happy... cmon we gotta get the gang back together...#half light!! hello!! my darling!! LETS GO!! ough buT NOT ENOUGH TO GET ARMS BACK NOOUIGHJ MOTORICS WHERE ARE YOU LITTLE BUDDIES???#''try to get eyes back online'' ''come on come on--'' OUGH I LOVE... i love how theyre all supporting each other as they come back online..#TEAMWORK!! CMON LETS GET EVERYONE BACK!! YEAH BOI WE GOT A MOTORICS BACK UP!! HELLO PERCEP! calm down! you need composure in here!!#THE JOYWIRE... OUGH STOP STOP IM SO FOND... VOLI CMON. nooo ourgh takes damage... ''You were really gonna cut me out?'' AWAH... WAHHH!!!!!#ow my heart my HEART. chemi baby my little darling... hugging him kissing his forehead... THERES OUR LOGICIAN HELLO DARLING!!#hkjh trying to cue in interfacing DAMN :'] good metaphor anyway concept it was very well laid. voli keeping track of each of them too hehe#HI DRAMA YAYY! platonic love story! friends!!! ''Neuroplasticity's off the charts.'' ''I'm surprised you know a word that long that isn't-#'''amphetamines''' ''Dextromethorphan asshole'' HAJKSH YOU FUCKING TELL 'EM! YOU'RE NOT E-CHEMISTRY FOR NOTHING!!!#again with trying to get Phys back in hkjhg INLANDDD SMILES HI THERE DREAMER!! Logic just like ''yeah. i hate it here.'' ''have you tried?'#okay this is the 20th tag. hopefully a reblog will be enough to finish out my thoughts but god knows i have so much to say hjhg#esprit: Birdy
4 notes · View notes
Text
Au where Murdoc runs away as a kid and ends up at the Pots' house.
12 notes · View notes
lanayrutower · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media
i'm about to throw hands with this yt poll.
Tumblr media
this is the zelda version of that twitter butch post to me.
#the best zeldas arent even here!!! if og 'i was like 8 y/o when i SHATTERED the triforce and hid it ALONE in a monster infested land' zelda#and st 'the only one with a character arc u see play in real time & goes from i'll wait here to i will STAB malladus with my own 2 hands#and alone if i have to' zelda were here they'd obliterate the competition. maybe not in votes but just in terms of correctness#BUT EVEN IN THIS CASE. ur not voting for ms. 'i saw my family home and kingdom be systematically destroyed over the course of 7 years &#stood back up said no & changed my ENTIRE self to try to save everyone largely on my own for 7! years! as a child!! only to at the end of#it all be the only person who can truly empathise with the hero who had his childhood stolen from him and return it even though i will#never have mine again'????????????#or even ms. 'i was normal & happy & loved until i wasnt and i learnt i was the orchestrator of my own and everyone else's misery because im#not even myself & im so much bigger yet lesser than who i thought i was and if i cannot be divine then i will be less than worthless i will#be a blight who couldnt execute the plan i had tossed everyone into and they will have lived in my lie and died for nothing so i will be#divine even if that means sealing myself away for an eternity. even if i will never know happiness the way i did again'????????#i cant say anything about twipri. i barely remember her bc i watched that playthrough ages ago and she was barely in the game idk what ur#voting for#but botw???????? /BOTW/?????????????????#girl wasnt even the best princess in her own game and she only had one other competitor smh#(<-THAT'S A JOKE. THAT'S A JOKE. I AM JOKING.)#this whole thing is half a joke. i love botw zelda (dont look at me like that. i do) and i get why she's winning but like. come on. that's#way too big of a divide. how are oot and skysw losing that much. botw zelda's voice alone should have cost her half her votes#WKSHDKSDHKKA#anyway this whole thing is for funsies so dont be weird on my post ok <3? ive had a shit three days and if being fake mad at a silky video#game poll makes me laugh then that's fair ok? and if you're weird i have the license to explode you with my mind and curse your family for#3 generations ok <333?#freya talks loz
4 notes · View notes
bearsgrove · 1 year
Text
i didnt want to be specific on insta bc Someone follows me there but the reason why i got so overwhelmed when i was going home from the bus station is seeing all the couples. straight up i have never felt more bitter in my fucking life i hope everyone dies i hope i die im so fucking sick of everything im sick of shit im so sick of it just put me out of my misery for the love of god what is the fucking point
3 notes · View notes
timegears-moved · 1 year
Text
.
#dl#upset at my mom kinda day#still thinking about what happened yesterday#it's not even that she's unhappy with my relationship that bothers me so much (though it does play a part) because i know she knows that#she'll just have to put up with it and accept it#it's the fact that she refuses to treat me like an adult that can make my own decisions#i have to constantly fight her on this#my godmothers and other friends agree that she needs to dial it back but she doesn't and my stepdad only enables her#i know i complained about him recently but im honestly glad that my dad doesn't get that involved with my life and lets me breathe#and for my mom i think it's like a mixture of autistic infantilization (which i have called her out on before) and a reaction to trauma#the latter of which i get why she's doing it but it's not fair for her to take her issues and insecurities out on me#honestly i do feel fine living here but everytime this stupid shit comes up between us i wanna move far away because she makes me#feel claustrophobic with my entire life#i cant get another cat unless she says so even if my landlord approves. i can't use my money in ways she disapproves of.#i can't live at this place or do this thing or wear these clothes without her judgement#i was scared to get my tattoo last month not because of the tattooing process but because of what she would say#i have no fucking agency and she wonders why i never tell her shit#it's because i need to do everything behind her back to be happy and even then i feel guilty about it#idk how many times i have to argue with her on this before she fucking gets it
6 notes · View notes
i have no one to talk to irl about this race right now (everyone in the house has gone to sleep it’s 3am here) so im sorry in advance for dumping this on here but this is a warning for the tag vent(that i will definitely be deleting soon) because i love u all and care about your dash experience so if you don’t want to witness a disjointed minor breakdown look away lmao
#i’m pretty keyed up and#i’m pretty devastated#my only two good things from this race: max and lando absolutely bossing this race#and im v happy about them#but im so upset about carlos#personal opinion incoming#but carlos’ race was as sexy as his quali and the fia and the stewards and whoever the fuck else can eat a brick#my brown eyed boy deserves the world after that race he put his whole pussy into this weekend#like he was having such a good race despite ferrari doing their best to fuck it up there for a second#and the handling of this race by the governing body was such a clusterfuck#im so frustrated that he has come away with nothing#max lando carlos and seb are the drivers that are close to my heart and with seb gone i am holding on hard the the others and i am just#upset about carlos lmao idk what else to say#i just need to vent it#i try and usually succeed in never letting what people say about my boys (especially max lando and carlos) get to me#they are drivers people just love to hate#but i was just so happy with how this race was going for my three faves on the grid#especially carlos cause i have to constantly filter and block the shit that gets thrown at him by the fans of his own team and teammate#and i love charles too he’s the only other driver on the grid right now that comes close to my ride or dies#but i hate the way a chunk of his fans treated seb like seb was a shit teammate and shit driver and they do the same to carlos#and i just don’t see how carlos is any more of a shittier teammate than charles could be considered to be#and i know hypocrisy is kinda the name of the game as a sports fan lmao i am as guilty of it as anyone else at times#u kno the whole it’s okay of my fave does it but not yours#and i do support my boys rights and wrongs and i understand it’s the same for others#i try to approach things with nuance and not hold resentment but sometimes i fail lol#and this is probably getting disorganized and#i guess i am just upset and i want to feel better#the sleep deprivation probably doesn’t help lmao#anyways i am so sorry about this if u r actually reading it and got here so#<3 KISSES and i hope your day/night is going good
4 notes · View notes
feywildfox · 2 years
Text
Mm i left bandom space a long long time ago. I mean I'm not that old but ten years ago is still pretty long. And frankly if i overstep lemme know.
Honestly at this point i shouldnt be surprised so many people are actually still inherently racist towards Ray, but also i think, i should be. Because i genuinely expected better from mcr bandom, but again, left bandom spaces a decade ago...
It's pretty sad? Like. I'll admit, I didn't realize Ray was actually a man of colour when i was younger. I think i realized right around the time i left at 15 or so. Which also really goes to show that racism towards him and making him seem as white as possible which definitely i think was a thing. Like in comparison, I knew pete wentz was mixed long before i figured out Ray was a poc. It says a lot about the space at the time and i had honestly thought it'd be better now.
I've loved mcr for years, but i havent been IN love with them for a while. It happens, relationships and feeling wax and wane. But this tour, the excitement and love recently ignited in not just Gerard with all their gender fuckery, but the whole band, has brought a love and joy back into my life for music that hit me in the heart as a preteen and teenager.
And none of that would be possible without Ray Toro putting his all into the feelings and conveying of in his music. Mikey made the band, but ray MAKES the band. He is absolutely fucking integral and it is disgusting & disheartening to see him treated such a way. What the fuck even, hearing that streamers are zooming in on frank during Rays solos?? Like do the fuck better? I'm honestly disappointed as fuck in that shit. Like I know this whole thing is a little disjointed stream of consciousness type post but really. White people do better challenge! Its literally SO fucking easy. The real camera guys are RIGHT THERE showing what to fucking do!
You can love the others as much as you want but jesus fuck give Ray the same fucking courtesy. Stop ignoring your racism, start recognizing the issues that plague you from being white and growing up in white privilege. I sure as fuck still have plenty of shit to work on but at least i can say i can do the bare fucking MINIMUM of giving Ray Toro the respect and attention he absolutely fucking deserves.
Like I do hope this is understood I am not trying to speak over anyone but simply say from one white to another: you need to do better. If that's how you treat a member of supposedly one of your fav bands, i genuinely fear for the poc you encounter in your life. The harm you cause by staying blind may be incremental but it builds up until it's a mountain. Do fucking better.
#not the picturesque emo#fans#its 1 am so this is not. the modt coherent thing but i hope it gets the point across as someone who has been outside of bandom space#i mever realized how big an issue it was but honestly i should have known#im not going point at myself as a pure example of what to do because honestly ive loved mcr from a distance for a while#i have always loved them all but literally its ridiculous coming back ten years later#and finding out that yeah no. rays apparently or whatever the fuck#like uh what. emo is a style#its a sounds a love language a voice for people an expression#sure there are certain clothes or jewelry or makeup that can play into it but NONE of that actually means shit#because it can be turned corpo and ripped up and spat back all sanatized. ray is emo. ray is a man of colour. he's a rock god on the guitar#NONE of that is mutally fucking exclusive! ray toro is just as important as anyone else in the band#ray toro deserves SO much respect and he does NOT deserve to have people claim they are of mcr then treat him like that#you are not an mcr fan you are a pretentious racist asshole who needs to check ther privileges at the fucking gate thank you#fox squawks#im tired and angry now and im sorry to all the poc in the fandom who have to deal w this on a constant basis you all deserve a lot better#im sure yall feel way worse than i do and i genuinely hope people can realize the shit theyve been doing.#i am always happy to go toe to toe w other dumbass white ppl and call them out on their bs#i dont see it because i curate my dash to the point drama is usually a mild breeze at best but i am more than willing to#weaponize my whiteness to force other white ppl to think. if you gotta point me at em do it idc. like a lil attack chihuahua or something.#idk#im lagging now but my fingers dont want to stop typing bc i am nervous abt posting this but yknow. whatever if i fuck up i learn & move on!#we Do Not succumb to white guilt we gracefully say im sorry for that thank you for pointing it out even though you didnt have to i know its#exhausting to do constantly i will keep that in mind and then we do! and we modify our behavior! and we DO. BETTER
4 notes · View notes
dirt-str1der · 2 years
Text
I keep thinking about the mechanics for how to make kazumaji happen outside of adrenaline fuelled lovemaking , like obviously majima isnt going to solicit him for an actual relationship because whatever they have going on is already more than he expected to get because majima isnt a wanting man he gets dealt his hand then he plays (plus hes waiting for someone else , he cant leave and have his story end with kiryu , they both know this) , kiryu isnt a wanting man either i mean not for his love life but you know this guy fights like hell to get what he wants. He doesn’t exactly have a problem pulling girls but its the commitment after thats the issue , he always has someplace to be thats not here no matter how suave and charming he is youre gonna be wondering why he ghosted you for three years then find out he just got released from prison the point is that he doesnt follow through. Once youre done with him then youre done and very rarely is he gonna come back (unless he wasnt actually done with you). Majima offers to help him out in osaka and kiryu says no no no see ive left you behind i have to live this next chapter of my life properly now , without you. He has this inability to understand that people want to spend time with him thats not him helping them / repaying him a favour / working together to achieve a common goal. You literally cant assume he’ll be around you really have to cling tight or he’ll find some reason to fuck off and by then you cant even ask him to stay because Shit is it a good reason. Y0 nishiki got so so fucking close to showing kiryu he didnt need to have any redeeming qualities for people to like hanging out with him. He didnt need to be fun or like to party or entertaining at all , just him sitting quietly on a nearby barstool and maybe clapping along is enough to make his night fun as hell. Im sure kiryu realises that he can be distant and lack initiative , im sure this self awareness has convinced him that hes an undesirable long term romantic partner , and majima fucking up big time with mirei also forces him to internalise the fact that hes not a good partner either. So the two of them have to really really Really want something to start it because otherwise theyd be gracefully and expertly sidestepping any mention of commitment , pirouetting around the word “partner”, assuming they’ve made things clear when no discussion had taken place. They dont figure it out because its obvious to everybody thats not them, all the thinly veiled offers to be useful to each other, the leaning forward when they speak to each other , the open mouthed kisses with tongue , they want each other. More than one time , more than This... but how does one communicate something they havent realised yet ...
#Yakuza loveblog#now hear me out .. kiryu only asks girls out but he wont say no if a guy (he likes) solicits him (if its a guy he doesnt like hed be like#EW !! no !!! <- using his homophobic voice) so bear with me. kazumaji can happen the moment kiryu realises that majima is a girl#i like tht kiryu isnt interested in long term relationships but also hes kind of horny. a barker would be like Hey ! you look like you have#big muscles / a deep voice / masculine energy Sir do you want to HAVE SEX ? And kiryus like Now you got me interested#girls will sexually harrass him but guys on the street will tell him shit like Im a straight man but ....#anyway i believe that majima has to get the ball rolling before kiryu can take it the whole way because he decides that he loves this a lot#i think that they should book a hotel room in osaka for about two to three hours (kiryu is not going to risk doing it in the orphanage) and#kiryu loves him enough to tell him i cleaned my ass for this <3 and when majima is sack deep he asks if kiryu has had any girlfriends since#leaving tokyo (he cares a lot. he would be happy if kiryu got a girlfriend to take care of him) and he laughs and asks him how the hell hes#supposed to get a girlfriend while taking care of nine kids and besides .. he only likes him. right now kiryu only likes majima ...#i think he might cry from being told that. i really think he likes kiryu a ridiculous amount and it made him melt to hear that#sometimes a home is a person because you can come inside#and the only thing kiryus waxing is poetic hashtag bush nation#im not done. sorry for signing off. i believe that majima doesnt get jealous he might get a bit melancholy but he wont lash out because#kiryus ‘seeing some other girl’ he would totally ship them forgive my phrasing hed be the best wingman ever he would also drill kiryus#partner like hiiii so this is the lucky lady <3 and conduct a full background check on her just to be safe. kiryus precious to him he#gotta scare her a bit. let her know just how important kiryu is to him and how sharp his knife is haha take it easy though. hope you make#him happier than i could. i think their relationship will always skew one way with majima knowing everything about kiryu and kiryu knowing#very little about majima. he would be surprised to learn that majima is divorced. he was surprised to know that majima had a brother#in a better universe kiryu would have been able to identify saejima by description alone. as it stands i think he might have had an inkling#looking at ... ‘suzuki’ and thinking majima had a brother in prison .. hmmm ... somehow this guy reminds me of him ..... somehow#anyway he knows majima doesnt like to talk about it so he forgets his past and takes him as he is now. doesnt ask where all those scars on#his wrists came from. doesnt ask about his ex wife. hes content to exist as they are and majima knows kiryu wont ask and he feels bad about#it because he thinks kiryu should know .. but the words dont come out and kiryu is always so understanding ...#i think saejima makes majima talk but thats cause hes big on communication. he squeezes it out of majima and he cries hearing what he was#put through and majima comes out of it raw but lighter. see saejima is his best friend but kiryu is his special baby boy the dont need to#they dont have to say anything theyre just here for the company#okay im done hii hiiiiiiiiii hiiiiiiii hi
3 notes · View notes
possum-tooth · 2 years
Text
happy wednesday i cannot wait until friday ~9p <3
#i get to see him again 🥰🥰🥰🥰#i also took an edible a little bit ago so bear with me as i write my stream of consciousness <3#anyway hi hello hi for the the llove of god Hello how are u i love you happy wet beast wednesday to those who celebrate. i hate not seeing#him now! whats WRONG with me!!!!!! wheres the cold hearted bitch i usually am.. theyre dead and i killed it >:)#anyway also very extremely dangerous knowledge that i can stay monday nights potentially too.. like girl what the fuck is going on#like i made it back w plenty of time.. pavloving myself methinks#maybe not pavlov idk man im high idk anything. anyway i cant wait for friday bc i get to See Him aagin + we're going to [redacted]#but i havent bought a ticket yet so im a leedle scared but. itll be fine. right. tell me itll be fine#Also in a dilemma. i have a concert coming up and other dude said he wanted to go but hasnt bought a ticket bc he doesnt#know if/when he'll get a job so he doesnt wana buy it then not be able to go but how do i ask in a nonannoying way. hey are u going or not.#i need an answer and soon bc im freaking out bc if i ask my bf if he wants to go and he Can then itll be weird maybe. idk maybe not??#is it just me?? would it be weird to hang w ur bf and another person u met on a dating app??????#apparently not tho i guess bc hes done it like twice w me so. maybe not?? idk and its driving me insane anyway#good god this edible is Hitting. its been like 20 min wtf#and this was cheap shit! like $8 for a 10 pk i think! and its knocking me on my ass tf!!#anyway. happy do you wear wigs wednesday i love you and hope your week is going well <3 if youve made it this far um. congrats ily#talk tag
2 notes · View notes
th3houseofleaves · 3 days
Text
thinking abt dove baek and how they've done a variety of illegal things to survive and they justify all of it bc it was for their survival right and as an adult they're avoiding breaking the law as much as possible bc they have to be a good influence for sparrow bc they don't want him to pick up any of their bad behaviors right but at the same time they're super nonchalant and open abt some of the stuff they did (there's some things that are going to stay buried forever thank you very much) so sparrow absolutely picks up on that energy and the first (and only) time dove has to come pick their son up after he's caught stealing they're incredibly upset – at him but mostly themself – and they fear for their LIFE bc it's totally going to be blamed on them and while karina isn't gonna hold it against them forever she won't be happy abt it and her parents will be even more upset.
meanwhile sparrow thinks he's done some cool shit and doesn't understand why everyone's not being chill about it
#minotaur // dove baek#the house // musing#minotaur // karina downing#dove it literally the most anxious they have ever been as a parent#while also fighting back the urge to give their son pointers bc getting caught? really bro#the only thing stopping them is the fact that they're the parent and reenie would not be happy at all if they gave their son tips#for breaking the law#sparrow is sitting in the backseat of dove's borrowed car just happy to be there#he 100% tells jason about it and the entire time dove is behind him giving jason a look that says#“do not fucking tell him that was cool do not do that do not give him advice i swear to god jason peter”#and jason. even tho he is a being of chaos actually listens lmao#karina comes over later and has dove go outside with her so they can have a talk & sparrow stays chilling with jay#it is. kind of awkward but again sparrow is happy to be there :)#karina and dove conversation is mostly them arguing back and forth w each other but they didn't want to do it in front of their kid#she's super pissed at them and they're pissed at themself so it's? not a great time#they cool off after awhile and they're chill again but they do have to go have a Serious Talk w their kid#for the record im imagining sparrow at like 13 or 14 when this happens#which adds layers to it bc i can see dove getting that call and finding out what he did and they flashback to what they were doing at that#age and how it wasn't cool for them and it's definitely not cool when he does it and it's just a little bit of panic#and it rlly sinks in that they've done some bad shit to survive and they don't want sparrow to ever have to do that#but like most things dove repressed that shit :)#oh and sparrow n jason dynamic is very good 2 me#jason is not his dad or parental figure at all really bc dove isn't pushing that on him#and he's also not just a stranger or only his dad's boyfriend#he's like a secret third thing#bc he IS important to sparrow fr#especially once sparrow was old enough to realize jason wasn't just his dad's cool friend that stayed over a lot lmao#and jay cares abt sparrow bc yknow? that's his dove's kid! he's been around since sparrow was rlly little he's been there! so even if he's#not a dad or overt parental figure or anything they're still important to each other#it's a family dynamic that doesn't like fit into a nuclear family format ya feel
1 note · View note