#im gunna sob on the floor

[soujos]

… I decided to let the dogs out and make a stair rail theme CAN YOU BLAME ME?’wkrkfl THEYRE SO AMAZING AND SO SEXY like hoyo was playing games on us when they released genshin and then said let’s be silly and drop hotties in the new game like WHAT???

[al6nst]

AT HIS FEET : bully oikawa

nsfw under read more

SKETCH INFO : gn reader, smut, bootriding, bullying, technical voyeurism (oikawa knows issei is there..), kissing, slapping, hair pulling, slight dacryphilia, dom oikawa, oral, consented recording， mentioned power imbalance, petnames ( little crow, slut ), degradation, bully oikawa, facefucking, college au/timeskip

nsfw/end divs by : cafekitsune !!!!

s : he was awful, you didn't even want iwa!

"dont be so.. mean.." You cried on your knees in front of him with your head hung, knowing it would be embarrassing for him to see you. your hands shaking in your lap at every tap of his shoes against the floor. he looked down at you with a soft smile, but the look in his eyes said otherwise. "im being mean? Oh yn, you've got it all wrong!" oikawa laughed, his eyes going back to staring at his phone. you grabbed his knee and raised your head. "i didnt kiss him!" you whined, placing your head on his knees. his hand immediately grasped your hair as he put his phone down, looking down at you as if you had done something wrong. "why not beg for me to believe you?" he said, bending his once straight back to kiss you. "actually, what you can do is ride my shoe!" he smiled, his eyes drifting down to your surprised expression. "You dont have to use your pretty little head for something like this." he whispered, tapping your head. his facial expression changing quicker than you expected it to. "waah.. kawa.. so mean, " you whimpered, tears running down your face as you began to hump his shoe, whining in a mix of pleasure and pain. your hands clutching your shirt while you listened to him talk,

"You're so stupid, it's so cute," he giggled. You could hear the sound of him taking a picture of your tear ridden face. "What if i sent this to the whole school?" he asked, placing his hand on his thigh. "Wait.. please!." You gasped, grinding harder as he shook his foot underneath you. the feeling of his shoe against your barely covered crotch had you reeling. he wanted you to beg for him to touch you. you began to choke on your sobs, "i.. gunna cum, kawa. so close" but he payed no mind to your warning while he untied his shorts, dipping his hand into his underwear. "hold on, stay still ynie" he sighed, you were getting too quiet. "kawa.. " you sniffled, your chest visibly moving as began to cry again "keep crying, slut." oikawa glared, squeezing the fat of your cheeks together. you hiccuped as he stood up "c'mon.. suck me off" he smiled, tapping his cock against your cheek. you stuck your tongue out, giving him access to everything, he placed his hand on your head and pushed you down. the sound of your gagging made him laugh, "everyone is gonna see this.." he said, pulling out and doing it again. you began to cry even more, placing your hands on his thighs, incoherent cries came out of your stuffed mouth as he continued to use you to his liking.

"You.. you're so annoying- uhn.." oikawa moaned, throwing his head back, the hand that was in your hair slapped you softly. "Swirl your tongue, you know what to do." he demanded, annoyed. you wanted him to listen and forgive you, You wanted to cum, he was so mean to you. "Hey! less crying, more sucking." he whined, slapping you harder than before. you closed your eyes and sniffled, trying to do everything he asked you to. he gave up on telling you anything and took it into his hands, fucking your face until you scrambled to get away. "uuhg fuck" You coughed, finally able to breathe. "i tell you this all the time. breathe through your nose!" he slurred, shoving your head back down. as the camera focused, it showcased the tears rolling down your face as you tried to breathe and the way you struggled to suck him off correctly. " you're pathetic. " oikawa grumbled, pushing you away. "i always gotta do the work myself, hum?" he asked, audibly upset. "m' sowwy. i really am, " you sputtered, looking up at him with glossed and fogged over eyes. he threw his phone behind him after he had stopped recording to fuck his own hand. "can't even get proper head.. even mad dog does a better job than you!" he groaned, throwing his head back as he got himself off. his strokes got faster, curses spewing out of his mouth before he painted your face. "ugh, you're beautiful like this, but you aren't good at anything." you shook your head at his mean words, trying to convince him that you weren't useless." i can do somethin i promise, kawa!.." you cried, hands coming up to wipe your tears. "dont touch! let me take a few pictures.. 'kay?" he smirked, watching it drip down your face and onto your chest. He picked his phone back up and took a few close ups of your face, kissing you in the midst of two of them. "see, you're much better when you're quiet like this, like the little mutt you are." oikawa sighed. he picked his shorts up and grabbed his stuff, patting your head. "see ya, slut." he said, walking out of your room, making a dramatic exit. "toru, you bastard.. hic" your breath shook as you wiped your face off, struggling to think. you could still hear him, as quiet as he tried to be, talking to somebody unimportant.

he was too mean, but you liked it.

[chaos-proffessa]

...idk man I'm sad so I'm making my OCS sad so I can have so hurt/ comphort not snz

Idk what's this is Gunna have in it but it's not Gunna have spell check lemme know if you want more or a part in Riely's pov or smthn.

Onyx curled up in his bed, he hugged the pillow closer to his chest as he muffled quiet sobs into the fabric, his glasses wet with tears next to him they'd been abandoned pretty quickly after he started crying.

Everything started this morning, he woke up and went into the kitchen to make some coffee, he was really tired. Onyx reached for his mug placing it on the counter before turning to the kettle when. 'CRASH!!!!' onyx spun back around to see his favourate mug on the floor smashed into pieces "no, no no nonononono! Fuck!" Onyx dropped to his knees attempting to put back together the pieces, sharp ceramic pieces digging into his hands and knees "shit!" He hissed out, noticing the pieces of his once favourate cat mug digging into him

"oh crap!, onny are you alright!?" Riely rushed over ceramic crunching under his hard soal slippers, Riely crouched minding the ceramic before gently holding one of onyx's hands in his "ohhh bud... That was your fav mug wasn't it" he said sympathetically "don't worry I'll try and fix it while your at class ok?, let's get you fixed up" onyx nodded along sadly, repressing his feelings for now, he couldn't focus on his mug he was too anxious about getting his grades back today and- "ow!" Onyx flinched back as Riely wiped at his hand with the antiseptic wipes, "sorry onyx but we don't want an infection hmm?" Onyx nodded taking a deep breath, prossesing the new invitomnet, and how in his panicked state Riely had somehow gotten him off the floor and into thier shared bathroom, and the glass out of his hands apparently "thanks Ri...." Onyx mumbled quietly "no prob bob" Riely replied cheerfully, gently cleaning and bandaging onyx's wounds "want me to kiss it better~" Riely teased making smooching noises, onyx diddnt reply just shook his head, Riely catching onto onyx's mood quieted down and titled his head "hey... You alright?, I know it was your favourate but I'll try and fix it today... Or we can get a replacement" Riely said trying to cheer onyx up, onyx just shrugged reaching for his phone, hopeing to maybe see if the bakery he liked was open so he could get a snack before class, wait class ... CLASS SHIT HE WAS LATE!!!, in all his panic and spacing out he'd totally forgotten about the time, he jumped off of the bathroom counter and ran to grab his back pack, quickly shoving on his shoes "GOTA-GO-IM-LATE!!" onyx called out rushing to hopefully not be too late, once he'd arrived at his building he shoved the door open panting, his hair was a mess his glasses were Askew and he was still in his pajama bottoms, the only day clothes he'd manadged to put on were his grey t shirt and sneakers. Most of the class had turned to him he'd interrupted the class we was 20 minutes late......

..... He'd failed his test, well not failed exactly but he'd gotten a C, wich by his standards meant "I... I failed...." He whispered to himself scrunching up the paper in his hands staring at the note at the top in red pen 'see me after class'.

He'd just spent the better half of his lesson staring blankly at his paper wich by the end of the lesson had been scrunched almost to death, he waited a few minutes before walking up to the podium, his professor waiting for him. "you... You wanted to s-see me?" Onyx stuttered, nerviously wringing his hands together, professor kands sighed "look onyx, your a bright kid I know that, you know that.... But you have to try harder, I know this year has been stressful with professor changes and personal issues, but you can't let that get in the way of your education, you pay to be here I expect your best work alright" and just like that it was like something snapped inside of onyx, he'd been holding back his feeling for so long and the dam was finally overflowing, onyx's throat felt clogged that kind of clogged were if you tried to talk you'd just break down on the spot he held back tears as the sprung to his eyes, he looked down and nodded praying professor kands diddnt expect and answer, luckily he got dismissed.

Onyx ran out the doors of the building tears streaming down his face ugly sobs coming out followed by ragged weezing breaths as he ran back to his dorm, his heart racing vision blurring, hands and feet numb, his brain running a mile a minute, he ran into his dorm ignoring the sudden call form Riely as he sprinted to his room, slamming the door behind him, he fell against the door, uncontrollable sobs crawling there way up out of his body, air just barely making there way into his lungs, his hands wrapping around himself digging into his upper arms as he sunk to the floor, he couldn't hear Riely's attempts to call out for him.

Onyx stayed in his room like this for hours until he finally dragged himself to the bed, shakily standing for just long enough to collapse into bed, we stayed like that for a while a steady stream of tears flowing down his face followed by the occasional sniffle of hiccup as he gathered himself back together piece by piece, he'd just started calming down when he heard a knock.

"onny?, can I come in please... I'm worried..." Riely called from behind the door, his voice sounded wobbly and scared, onyx tried to reply but all that came out was a tired whimper filled by a quiet sob, apparently he wasn't as calmed down as he though he was. ".... I'm coming in ok?" Riely gently opened the door holding a box wich was terribly wrapped in cat themed wrapping paper and more than enough tape, Riely winced once he saw onyx, the light from the now open doorway revealing, tired sunken eyes, they looked so sore and red, onyx's skin had gone and irritated red around his eyes, mouth and nose, dried and wet tear tracks were all over his face, and his hair was a mess "wassat?" Onyx just barely squeezed out, his voice strained from hours of crying, Riely smiled gently and sat down next to onyx on the bed, carding his fingers through onyx's hair, brushing the hair off his face were dried tears had stuck the strands, "why don't you sit up and open it?" He gently coached, onyx sniffled and nodded, carefully sitting up and leaning against Riely for support, he took the box from Riely and started to unwrap it, opening the card board tears starting to bead his eyes again at what was inside. "it's probably not my best work.... But I really tried, I hope you like it". inside the box was a new grey mug, clearly hand made out of ceramic clay, it was wonky and uneven, some parts sinking in and protruding out, on the top however were two cat ears, a sketchy cat face drawn underneath in marker. "I know it's not the same, it's not even close and it's pretty badly made, I'm still getting used to ceramics but we were making mugs today and I though maybe-" "I love it" onyx whispered, Riely stared shocked "you.... You mean it?" He asked "I don't even know if you can actually drink out of it and-" Riely was cut off again as he was bombarded with onyx crashing into his chest onyx's arms wrapping around Riely's waiste, a few sobs muffled into his shirt, Riely hugged him back.

Idk how to end this so yeahhhhhh... Bye!

[lucatea]

Since im gunna have my ass handed to me in the polls I’ll give y’all this crossover now.

It’s @enthblaze Giovanni au crossed with Outside View.

Giovanni has never felt so free.

He clung to Tigerclaw’s fury frame as sobs shook his body. He cried and cried. He cried until he felt nauseated because he watched his terrible future die in front of him. He killed the physical manifestation of who he could’ve become with his own hands. There was nothing left to chain him, he was free to flourish and live.

He was happy.

And nothing could take that away.

“You did great young cub.” Tigerclaw gently hugged Van. “I’m proud of you.” With the joyful cries of his family behind him every felt perfect, and Van felt at peace.

A peace that was quickly destroyed by a single noise.

A single scream that ripped through the air, tore apart his heart and shattered his peace. A scream he never thought he’d hear.

The scream of his twin.

The scream of Leonardo.

Van ripped himself from Tigerclaw's hold dashing to the noise that seemed to tear his world apart. His shouts fell upon deaf ears as Van launched himself to the blaze searching for his twin brother.

“LEONARDO!” He ducked and weaved through the collapsing rubble, becoming increasingly desperate with every unanswered cry. “LEO!” He heard the distant shouts from the rest of his family join the symphony of collapsing concrete as they all searched for the leader. Dread pooled in his gut as the seconds ticked away and ideas of the worst flooded his mind.

“LEO PLEASE!” Giovanni felt his throat squeeze when he was met with nothing. He had to fight back terrified tears as he scoured the rubble.

Then he heard it. A terrified and pained chirp just a few feet away.

Suddenly Van was in a mad dash to his twin, following the pained whimpers and cries. It turned his blood to ice to hear all this from Leo. His brother came into view pinned under the rubble.

“LEE!” He watched Leonardo strain to turn his head, tears stained his face as his eyes went wide.

“Van!” Leo reached out for his twin, straining to grab onto Giovanni’s arm.

“It’s ok Lee, I’m here. I’ve got you.” He took his brother's hand not missing the blood that coated it. His tone went serious as he began scanning his brother for the injury as he gripped a chunk of the wreckage. “Leo. I’m gunna get this rubble off of you ok?”

“No” Leonardo squeezed Van’s arm tight, a slight desperation bled into his voice. “Vanni don’t please.”

Giovanni hesitated pulling back the chunk of concrete he held in his hands.

“Lee, if you're injured I have to move the rubble to try and help you. I need to know what exactly I’m dealing with.” Leonardo just shook his head, panic in his eyes. Ignoring his protests Giovanni removed the debris revealing what Leonardo was so desperate to hide.

A thick rebar pierced through his abdomen. Fragments of his shell littered the floor around the injury in the growing viscous pool below him. It made Giovanni gag. He fought back his own nausea, tearing away his gaze to look back up to Leonardo.

“I’m sorry Vanni.” Leo’s voice was hoarse and his breathing was getting shallow. He pulled on Giovanni’s arm to bring him down close enough for Leonardo to wrap his arm around him. Giovanni pulled his twin into a hug shaking his head sniffling into his twin’s shoulder.

“Nonono don’t apologize.” Van whispered. “None of this is your fault. None of this.”

The twins cried into each other, one clinging to the other as Leo’s grip got weaker. As his breathing got shallower. As his head began to loll to the side.

“I love you brother.” Leo whispered. “and I’m proud of who you’ve become.” Van never thought he could ever hate a collection of words so much.

“I love you too Leo.” Giovanni said as he laid down his dying brother. He watched Leonardo softly smile as he took his last breath. As the light in his eyes faded.

He watched his twin leave him.

And for the second time that night Giovanni cried.

[robinthenonbnaieywonder]

A little bit I wrote about Rocket and nebula and how nebula is the first person that he confessed about lylla , teefs and floor to.

Nebula sat down beside Rocket. Sighing out of exhaustion. They where alone on the ship.

Quill was saying goodbye to gmora.

Dreax was taking care of some kids.

Mantis was taking care of the monster octopus things.

Cosmo and kraglen where taking care of each other.

And groot was giving the 2 some alone time wich was appreciated.

"I'm..." Nebula had always struggled showing her emotions . Part of the reason why her and gamora never got along very well.

"glad " nebula began slowly.

"that you are here" nebula finally got out.

Rocket gave her a confused glance.

"ya I know" rocket said.

"I just" nebula began angrily. Before taking a deep breath and starting again.

"I just... Wanted.... To ... Make sure.. that you knew" ... "That" . Nebula let out slowly.

"nebula" rocket said, resting his paw on her hand.

"take you're time. It's just the 2 of us right now. I an't gonna juge you for this" rocket said.

Nebula took a deep breath.

"I lost my sister. I just didn't want to loose... My brother too" nebula said.

Rocket's eyes winded to this.

"I don't think you should be calling me that" rocket said.

"why not " nebula asked.

Rocket scooted away a bit.

"rocket we ..." Nebula stoped to take a breath.

"what they did to you was worse then what Thanos did to me " .

"don't say that that purple prune put you through so much" rocket said his paw now back on her hand.

"yes but those monsters gave you something that Thanos never gave me"

Rocket scoffed at this.

"oh ya and what 's that" .

"hope"

And with that one word rocket immediately knew who she was talking about.

"how do you guys" rocket began his chest rising up and down with panic.

"we saw it . We saw them . In you're file" .

"we had to look through it . It was the only way to save you" nebula said quickly.

Rocket sat back down.

"why wait so if you guys know" .

"we don't know everything. We know who they are and that you clearly cared for them but other than that" nebula said.

" we where waiting for you to tell us on you're own" nebula said.

Rocket began to cry. No not cry sob. Full body sob.

"rocket?" Nebula said.

"rockey are you ok!!?" Nebula said. Using thair nickname ( or as nebula like to call them coad names) . So as to hopefully ground him.

Nebula sighed and pulled him into a hug.

After rocket calmed down a bit he sighed.

"lylla"

"what?"

"her name the otter it's lylla"

"a-and the wal-rus is teefs "

"and the" he pused to cry some more.

"the bunny is floor".

"they where my friends"

"lylla was my friend, and teefs was my brother and floor was my sister" .

"AND HE KILLED D THEM . HE KILLED ALL OF THEM . RIGHT IM FRONT OF ME . HE JUST WANTED TO LAUGH AT ME. AT US . HE WAS NEVER GUNNA TAKE US TO THE NEW WORLD " .

At this point rocket was so triggered that he was screaming.

"he didn't want things to be perfect , HE HURT THEM , THEY DIDN'T DESERVE ANY OF THAT, YOU DIDN'T DESERVE WHAT THANOS DID TO YOU " !!

"HE -he" rocket began to slow down and cry again as nebula slowly approached him.

She began to slowly stroke rocket 's head .

"it's ok . It's like you said. It's just the 2 of us" nubla said.

She sat down and placed rocket on her lap as she continued to pet his head. In a similar fashion that dreax did in the first guardians movie when og Groot died.

"you can let that mask fall now" .

Rocket began to cry into his hands. Nebula moved him to a position to where he was crying into her chest.

"I'm not going to judge you for this"

[motheyes]

having a freakibg sit down babes

[imma-fucking-nerd]

Two Birds

(Connor x reader x Nines/Conan)

A/N: Hey y'all! Been a while since i wrote anything but these androids are givin me SO many ideas and SO much motivation. This, as the title suggests, is a songfic. If you know me than ya know this is gunna get sad :) sorrynotsorry. Also ik RK900 has a LOT of names but I just stick to Nines/Conan. Anyways hope y'all enjoy!

——————————————

It had been a good couple of months since androids were officially declared people. This made you, the android rights activist that you were, absolutely ecstatic to say the least. Of course you were glad androids were now seen as the people like they should be, but this change made you happy for another, more selfish reason. It meant that one of your favorite androids was able to break free from his programming that made him think he was just a machine, designed to accomplish a task. That android was your best friend and love of your life (be he didn't have to know that), Connor.

When you learned of Connor's dieviancy you were shocked to say the least. But oh how you were oh so happy. You knew he had it in him despite him always saying the opposite. There was just something about him that made you knew he was so much more than he claimed. You wished so bad that he would see what you saw. A person. A wonderfully amazing, sweet, innocent, and unintentionally hilarious person. So when he finally did manage to tear himself from the wires of his mission and see it too, it was amazing.

During the next months you happily answered any questions he had and helped him with all the new emotions he was experiencing. Along with the help of his adopted father Hank, of course. Both of your love for the dorky android seemed to grow a million times too, if that was even possible. Of course the types of love you harboured being very different.

However while Connor, one, of your favorite androids was excited to leap into human-hood, your other favorite was proving to be more....reluctant. That other android was none other than Cyberlife's last creation.

The RK900.

Nines to most, but you called him Conan. He only really ever let you call him that and sent anyone else who tried an icy glare that'd make anyone feel like they were just marked to an early grave. You only really ever called him that when you were being serious, or needed to scold him for being rude to Connor though. Which again, only you could ever get away with.

At first, you thought that meant that he was starting to deviate. Slowly, but surely. You understood that he'd take more time than Connor considering he was made to be more resilient than his predecessor and you were more than willing to put in the work.

Why?

Well you supposed you fell for him too. You blamed the fact that he looked nearly identical to Connor. And that he was tall as shit. And built like a damned brick wall. And made you feel so safe. And could serve burns to anyone that gave him sass (namely Gavin) that made you giggle every single time. You were practically helpless to his charms, and he wasn't even trying for Christ's sake.

You really did think that you were being successful in your mission to make him deviate, like you did Connor.

Pull him from that wire.

And he really did have you fooled.

When he came to you that one night, his steel grey eyes showing something you've never seen from him before. You thought that there had been a breakthrough. That he was breaking through.

When he told you that he was starting to feel, you believed it all immediately. Told him, "There's nothing I won't understand." with a hopeful smile on your face.

Why wouldn't you believe him? The way he sounded so troubled was more than convincing enough to you that he wanted to join his brother in being devient. Being human. After all, you noticed him watching Connor closely whenever he showed any emotion.

Another reason you were so quick to believe him was simply because you knew he didn't lie. He wasn't programmed to after all.

But that's the thing about lying, if one is good enough at it, a lie will always be perceived as truth.

That was your greatest mistake. Taking him for his word. Trusting him. You thought that since androids were supposed to be equal that that's what he'd want, right? That the reason he watched Connor being so unapologetically emotional it meant that he longed to do the same, right? That the reason why whenever Connor tried to help him or offer to 'wake him up' he refused was because he was scared and just wanted to do it on his own pace, right?

Wrong.

Oh so, so wrong.

But of course, you wouldn't find that out until it was much too late.

You invited both androids over to your place to just hang out after a particularly stressful day on the job. Whilst out on the field Conan nearly got shot in one of his more important biocomponants when Connor pulled him out of the way. Said something about fellow prototypes sticking together, all Conan did was nod, seemingly in appreciation. At least that's what Connor thought. And just like that he made the same mistake you had. Misplaced trust.

It was a stormy night out as the three of you sat on the couch watching tv, you and Connor talking about god knows what. Conan being as silent as ever. It didn't strike you as particularly odd, and neither did the side glances he sent to Connor. Glances that seemed more like intense glares. Like a predator watching it's prey. But you never noticed.

God how you wished you noticed.

How didn't you notice?

Maybe if you had you would've never left to the kitchen to grab a snack. Leaving the two androids alone. Leaving Connor alone.

You hadn't even been out of the room for more than a minute or two when you suddenly heard a loud thud. When you raced out of the kitchen to see what a the commotion was about your heart dropped at the sight infront of you.

There on your floor was Connor, and his therium pump on the other side of the room. He was desperately trying to crawl over to it, leaving stains of blue all over your carpet. He must have had less than a minute before he'd shut down. Before he'd die.

You didn't even notice that Conan wasn't there and at that moment you didn't have the time to waste to think about it. All you could think about was Connor, and how his hauntingly weak voice called out to you for help. 

You made a run for his therium pump and grabbed it but just before you could put it back where it belonged, hands suddenly grabbed you and roughly pinned your arms to your chest. In the sudden action the precious biocomponant was dropped to the floor by your feet. Your immediate instinct was to fight back but they were stonger than you, much stronger than you. As if holding you to their chest and keeping you still was effortless.

When you looked up to see your attacker you were horrified when you recognised those piercing, emotionless, eye staring down at you.

"C-Conan...?" Your voice shook as the betrayal that was taking place slowly sunk in.

"What are you doing?! Let me go!"

You tried struggling again but he just held you tighter to the point where you felt like he was going to break every bone in your body. Tears burned in your eyes and were quick to fall down your cheeks. All you could do was scream and sob as you watched helplessly as Connor still tried to crawl to his only hope of staying alive. Of keeping the life he made from himself.

But just as he reached for it, Conan brought his foot down upon the pump and crushed it. The sound made your heart stop and you let out a heartbreaking wail. With the last energy Connor had, he looked up and met his every warm choclatey brown eyes that you adored so much with your glossy (e/c) ones. He tried to smile, despite the terror of death he was facing. He didn't want you to see him scared, yet his LED which was raging red betrayed him. Opening his mouth to speak he managed to get out his final words.

"I love you."

You didn't even get to say it back before you saw his gorgeous eyes become lifeless, and his LED go grey. You dropped to the floor when Conan's crushing grip finally let you go and you immediately went to cradle the body of your poor sweet Connor. Your body wracked with sobs as you placed a soft kiss to his cold lips. Something you never had the guts to do before.....before it was too late.

You looked up at Conan with eyes that held so much pain, confusion, betrayal. 

"Why?" was all you could get out, your voice hoarse and barely audible.

What you heard next made your heart shatter into more pieces than it already was.

"It was my mission."

You watched as he turned his back and made his way to the front door, as if nothing happened in disbelief. When he left your eyes drifted down to meet Connor's one last time. You closed them so you didn't have to bare seeing how lifeless they had become.

You sat in that position for what felt like an eternity, every single thing that you could have done to prevent this. Everything you overlooked. Every lie you ate up. You couldn't move even if you wanted to. Not even when you heard police sirens. Not even when you heard Hank calling your name.

You just thought about how your want, your need to help Conan got Connor killed. How because you were so easy to trust him, your love was gone. Forever.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. Connor was supposed to live life to the fullest. Experience what the world had to offer with the emotions he fought to feel. He was supposed to be free, and so was Conan.

But he didn't want to be free.

He was never going to let go of that wire.

———————————————

A/N: I'm hella proud of this as my first writing thing in a while. Or more proud of the idea really. Ik it doesn't have much dialogue and im gunna try n work on that in the future. Lemme know what y'all thought and leave a suggestion of what you'd like to see next! Love y'all!

[283livesforone]

QOTS Episode 7 Live Reaction AKA Zoë is an oblivious duckling who focuses on wardrobe and nerds out on set design to the point where she doesn’t realized obvious foreshadowing :)

1. Okay are we gunna talk about the ~hot people montage~ that opened the episode.... off to a wonderful start

2. Splitting it up with murder to stop me from malfunctioning was a good idea now I’m crying over George again :’(

3. Pote and Kelly anne color coordinating 🥺

4. POTES GETTING HIS RESTAURANT AND IM GUNNA SOB THIS IS SO WHOLESOME SO FAR IM TERRIFIED

5. Pote being called “Love bug” is my favorite type of character development

6. “I’m gunna chose to be optimistic” - both me and Kelly Anne as this episode started far too nicely meaning it’s about to become a bloodbath

7. Teresa Mendoza is hot.

8. James looking her up and down because he believes in point 7 above (I’m a simp, he’s a simp, I love it here)

9. I’m gunna fucking lose it if they try and pretend George’s death was an accident or he just went missing or some ba my boy DESERVES BETTER

10. I’ve always hated Boaz now I’m just mad

11. James sweetie you’re staring. I mean same. But it’s getting weird

11b. I love that he’s completely accepted the fact that he’s in love with Teresa and is now just suffering

12. Pregnant Kelly Anne desperately longing for coffee is so absolutely adorable and I love her she’s gonna be such a cute and wonderful mother 🥺

13. Kelly Anne and Pote both in black pants blue shirt, James and Teresa both in white top black pants THIS IS WHAT IM LIVING FOR PROPS TO THE COSTUME TEAM YOU ARE DOING THE ~MOST~

14. “LIKE YOURE THE GOD DAMN QUEEN OF THE SOUTH” NAME DROP YES FINALLY

15. Power couple Jeresa in meetings is literally my favorite thing ever they’re so cool and beautiful and color coordinated and I just want them to be happy

16. Me genuinely terrified they were about to kill James after the Teresa jumping out to save one of her men comment

17. Father Pote oh my god I love him I LOVE HIM “until he’s done baking” this is too wholesome I’m a literal puddle on the floor and Kelly Anne just laughing because he’s being adorable and she’s all happy and oh my gosh shes been through too much only a few seasons ago she was killing her abusive husband I LOVE THIS GIRL SO MUCH SHES HAPPY SO IM HAPPY

18. If James doesn’t cool it with this self sacrificial bs I’m not gunna survive to the season finale

19. “That gun in your waist band does not give you power” who ever wrote this episode 👏

20. I love Dumas. I don’t expect him to survive the season but his development is amazing we love to see someone go through trauma and then reevaluate their morals

21. I’m losing it over these parents to be. Pote ranting about how difficult it is to cook for an expectant mother and then melting and going dead silent when the babies heart beat came 🥺

22. IF THEY KILL POTE

23. The. Parallels. The way it used to be queen Teresa who gave little messages and now it’s her badass younger self wowowowow I love it this is amazing they’re closing the show sooo beautifully

24. The way I was scared of everyone dying other than Kellie Anne....

Final thoughts: flawless, somehow adorably wholesome yet also full of funky plot twists and angst. Jeresa are gunna be the DEATH OF ME. Those longing looks. The way they keep having unspoken conversations and ending spoken ones abruptly because they know they can only cope with so much emotion before they literally jump each other’s bones... I. Love. Them.

[hold-our-destiny]

it’s gunna be okay

hey guys! its currently 1:46am over her in ye old England. and I have just written this! non edited so might be spelling/grammar mistakes. thank you guys so much for reading!

HEAVY TRIGGER WARNINGS: self harm mentioned, not the act, but if you get triggered by that, please take care of yourselves.

-------------

In hindsight, Tony knows he should have seen the signs. That was probably why he was beating himself up about it so much- he didn't notice. From the constant long sleeves to the mindless scratching, it seemed like whenever Tony looked back on their time together, he should have known Peter wasn't okay.

-----------

Pete walked into the lab, FRIDAY already having opened the doors upon his arrival. Tony looked up from what his mind was currently focused on and shot his intern a soft smile before quickly turning it into a frown of confusion.

“Wait, what time is it?” he asked, full attention on Peter now.

“Uh-” he checked his watch, “around five thirty”

“Shit, i've been in here since breakfast”

Peter gave him a small laugh and sat on his stool at his designated area, placing his backpack to the side of the desk and laid his equipment, he started making some new web formula, a seemingly easy task but time consuming.

It was a few hours before Tony proposed the idea of food, the teenager agreed immediately. They left the lab and went up to the common area- a seemingly pointless floor as half of the team were on various missions at that time. Tony took out and heated up the leftovers from their last lab session, taking both plates to the living area and setting them down on the coffee table before pulling up some kind of disney movie. They were both happy to eat in silence as they watched the film, before Peter finished his seemingly record time and decided to nuzzle into Tony's side.

Somehow along the course of the movie, the two had managed to end up cuddled up together, mumbling nonsense about whatever crossed their minds, as Peter slowly drifted to sleep. Tony thinks that was where it went wrong.

If tony could rewind time, he would take himself back to that moment and not let himself look down, not let him notice how the kid’s face was as relaxed as he’d ever seen it and he would definitely not let himself look down and see how Peter’s sleeve had ridden up as he moved his arm, displaying the deep red cuts along his wrist and up his forearm. Tony wished he could just have savoured his own ignorance for just a while longer, let himself realise how perfect the moment was.

He couldn't hold in the gasp that left his mouth at the realisation, somehow- probably due to spider sense- he has woken peter up. He raised his scar covered arm to cover his mouth as he let out a yawn, slowly opening his eyes and looking up at tony, a small smile on his lips, quickly turning into a frown as he saw tony’s shocked face.

“What?” Peter looked at Tony's uncertainty.

“Kid,'' Tony was seemingly speechless, he couldn't take his eyes away from the kid- his kid’s arm, the same arm that was still exposed, sleeve rucked up. Peter slowly realised where he was looking, trailing his eyeline and quickly pulling his sleeve down, looking up at tony with only guilt in his eyes.

“I’ll just- just go to bed,” he stood up to leave but Tony caught his arm, the one that wasn't covered with cuts and scars, god, Tony wished it wasn't.

“Kid, we can talk about this,”

“No, it's fine, Tony” he tried to pull his arm free from Tony's grip, but Tony held steady.

“Kid, it clearly isn't-”

“Just leave it, tony! Its fine,'' Peter almost yelled, said with such finality Tony would almost believe it if it wasn't for the tears he could see threatening to spill from his eyes.

“Peter. Talk to me, it's okay ``Peter looked hesitant but slowly a tear fell, and that seemed to be the last of his resolve crumbling, more tears only following.

“But it isn't, tony. I have school and spiderman and you have a freaking company to run, you don't have time to deal with my problems,” he was looking at the floor now and, god, if tony didn't feel like the worst person in the world right then- he couldn't believe he ever let his child believe that for one second.

“Oh kid,” he pulled him to his chest, feeling him shake with sobs, “i'm so so sorry if i ever made you feel like that, you can always talk to me about anything, okay?” he felt a small nod against his chest, “okay, we’re going to get some sleep right now, but tomorrow, we’re talking about this and we’re going to work through it, okay?” another nod.

And Tony felt himself lat out a breath, still holding onto Peter, and he let himself think, maybe they would be okay.

--------

thank you for reading! im not going to be tagging many people so im sorry if I missed you. message me if you’d like to be added to my tag list.

@romeoandjulietyouwish @baloobird

[fruit-teeth]

5 may i order some demosolly?! (person a is soldier and b is demo)

(Um YES YOU MAY?? This is great timing too, since I just got a comment on one of my fics this morning asking if I’d ever write demosolly mpreg lol and the answer is yes)

5 - In the middle of some kind of a tense situation, Person B has to help Person A give birth to their baby.

The match this particular Thursday seemed more chaotic than most, and normally Soldier would not mind that one bit, yet today he found himself wishing it would just end already.

He knew he was sick — he’d been tired lately, he’d put on weight, and it was affecting his performance. He would have asked Medic about it, but he felt that would be admitting to weakness, and he wasn’t weak! Real warriors pushed through everything.

But today...today, he had horrible pains in his back and had to take a break, something he’d never done before. He stumbled into the supply shed, the sounds of gunshots and explosions and screams now muffled by the walls, and he leaned his back against the wall, taking several deep breaths.

Some discomfort flashed through his abdomen, and he grunted, placing his hand on it while gritting his teeth. He blew out a long breath when it passed, and he rocked slowly, trying to settle himself down.

The shed door suddenly banged open, and Soldier froze, turning his head in a panic, his hand hovering over his gun.

Much to his relief, though, Demoman jumped into the shed, pulling out a box of spare bullets while catching his breath. Demo’s plan had been to just grab the bullets and go, but that was when he noticed his lover Soldier pressed up against the wall.

“Jane?” Demo paused, knowing right away that something was off. “Jane, are ye all right? Yer not hurt, are ye?”

“I’m all right,” Soldier took another deep breath, his eyes pinching shut at another spasm of pain. “Urrgh—,”

Demo set down the bullets, quickly checking the door to make sure they were the only ones around before he approached Soldier and helped him sit down on a nearby crate. “What’s goin’ on? Where daes it hurt? I’ll get Medic if I have tae,”

Soldier panted, sweat rolling down his forehead. “N-no, I’m—!” He suddenly let out a sharp cry, gripping his stomach and doubling over. “God, I’m going to die!”

“No, no, no,” Demo shushed him, taking his face into his hand and kissing his forehead in reassurance. “Ye aren’t gunnae die, love! Show me where it hurts,”

Soldier just placed a hand on his stomach, breathing through gritted teeth. “Here...” he let out another pained yell, and he pointed to his pelvis. “Ah! And here!” He began to breathe heavily, his chest heaving, and he groaned, “It hurts...it hurts!”

Demo tried to stay calm, placing his hand on Soldier’s stomach and feeling it. Right away, he noticed how tense and tight the muscles there were, and he knew that wasn’t normal.

“Oh, God,” Demo rose up, going to the shed door and looking out the small sliver of a window there. Their Medic wasn’t in sight, but there was lots of shouting coming from outside, accompanied with gunshots.

Soldier tried to move from the crate, breathing slowly, trying to keep himself calm, but he collapsed to his knees right away and screamed out in pain. Demo whirled around, going to him without hesitation. “Jane!”

He knelt beside him, rubbing his back, shushing him. “Jane, Jane, calm down. It’s going to be all right,” he removed Soldier’s helmet to kiss his head and stroke his hair, pulling him close to comfort him. “Shh, calm down,”

Soldier went quiet, but he was still panting hard. After a few seconds, he grunted out, “I just peed...”

“That’s all right,” sighed Demo, thinking that was just what happened. “It happens sometimes, I...” he trailed off when he looked to the tiles of the shed, noticing the drops of liquid there and realizing that it was clear but mixed with a bit of blood. It was then that everything hit like a ton of bricks, and Demo straightened up, taking a deep breath. “Oh, shit...” he helped Soldier sit in a more comfortable position, and he began to anxiously fiddle with his belt. “Jane, take yer trousers off! Quick!”

Soldier didn’t even hesitate to undress, and within seconds he was in nothing but his coat and tank top. As soon as this had been done, Demo reached between his legs and felt around, wondering if he was correct about his assumption.

He was. His tip of his finger touched something soft, and he didn’t even have to look at it to know what it was.

A gunshot rang out from outside, and the bullet shattered the glass. Soldier let out a yelp of outrage, and he tried to stand up but Demo grabbed him to hold him still.

“No!” Demo snapped, and he held Soldier close to keep him calm. “Jane,” he took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze before bringing it between his legs. “Do ye feel that?”

Soldier grunted out in pain again, but he went quiet when he felt something strange down there. “What is it!?” He gasped for air, his chest heaving.

“It’s a baby,” Demo felt the tears pricking his eyes, and he swallowed to control his voice. “Yer havin’ a baby!”

“No,” Soldier shook his head. “No, I’m not—!” He let out a yell as a particularly strong contraction wracked his body, and he gripped Demo’s hand tightly. “Oh, God! Make it stop!”

Demo moved closer, taking both of Jane’s hands and squeezed them. “Shh,” he kissed his forehead softly, taking a quick glance behind him to make sure no one was going to try and attack them during this vulnerable moment. “Take a deep breath, hold my hands, an’ push hard!”

“Push what!?” Soldier groaned, but soon he felt a very strong instinct to do just what Tavish said. He took a breath, and he pushed hard, gasping when he felt something start to shift. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Demo took a quick peek between his legs, and he cried out, “Good! Keep goin’, yer doin’ so well!”

Soldier squeezed the other man’s hand again as he pushed a second time, letting out another scream of pain. “Get it out! Get it out!”

Tavish just held him close and stroked his head, kissing him and whispering in his ear, “It’s almost over, Jane! I promise it’s almost over,”

After two more excruciating pushes, Soldier let out another scream, but this time he sounded startled rather than in pain. “Oh, God!” He tried to sit up, feeling between his legs. “It’s out, it’s out!”

Right away, Demo rushed to catch the little thing in his hands, and the moment he rubbed it’s chest, a loud cry gurgled from the throat.

“It’s here!” Demo suddenly began to sob, his hands shaking as he held the baby up for Soldier to see. “Jane, look! Look, it’s a boy! Look!”

Dazed, but relieved, Soldier sat up, blinking as he stared at the infant he’d just brought into the world. “Oh,” he swallowed, wiping the sweat from his forehead. “A boy?”

“Yes!” Demo sat beside Jane on the floor, putting an arm around him and kissing his forehead. “Look!” He gently eased the wailing baby into Soldier’s arms, using his free hand to lovingly rub the baby’s cheek. “Oh, my God, Jane! He’s beautiful, look at him!”

Soldier still felt extremely confused, but he relaxed a bit when he cradled the baby in his arms. “A son...” he murmured, observing the baby as he cried. “He’s so loud!”

Demo laughed, tears rolling down his cheeks as he stroked the baby’s damp hair. “I know! Jane...” he turned to look at his lover, and he kissed his lips sweetly. “I’m so proud of you, you are so brave,”

Soldier kissed back, feeling warmth spreading through his chest. He sniffed, removing his jacket and using it to wrap the baby up. “I know I’m brave. So are you!” He smiled, nestling up against Demo while gently rocking the newborn in his arms. “Look at our little warrior — look how strong he is!”

The baby had calmed down significantly, now that he was wrapped up in something warm and so close to the person who’s voice he recognized. He squeaked out a little yawn, his small eyes closing.

“I see ‘im,” Demo wrapped both Soldier and their son up in his arms, never wanting to let them go. “God, I love you both so much...”

The door suddenly slammed open, and Medic came rushing in. “What are you two doing!? While you’ve been slacking off in this shed, I’ve been...” he trailed off, pausing when he observed the situation before him. “Oh...oh, hello there,”

“Hi, Medic!” Soldier greeted cheerily, holding up the baby. “We just had a baby!”

[figurative-falsehood]

Hey. I dont know if you're still taking requests but if you are could you right and AU where Virgil is actually the dragon-witch and doesn't want anyone to find out but then it gets revealed 9ne day when he tries to lock himself in his room cuz his wings are to stiff from always having them curled to his back. You dont have to write it if you dont want.

okay so full disclosure i have never written or even really read any kind of wing fics at this moment so i have no idea what im doing! but that dosent mean i wasnt gunna try! apologies in advance for whatever this turned into. i hope you like it and im sorry for the delayIt was easier when they all hated him. it was easier when he could spend days locked in his room without anybody noticing or caring. but now… well, he loved them, even if he wouldn't say it out loud, he did. and he wanted to spend time with them. he craved it even. but… well that made certain things really hard. certain things like continuing to keep his secret. the secret he would keep until he no longer existed because well, he was sure when the others found out not only would he lose everything he now had, but them finding out might also end with the tip of Romans sword in his chest. and he wasn't sure he could stand that. not that he gave a shit about his own life. no, that hardly mattered in the grand scheme of things. it was more that he cared enough about Roman and the others to not want to put them through that. Virgil sat sandwiched between Patton and logan while roman put in yet another Disney movie and Virgil didn’t think hed be able to sit through another one. most days he could take breaks from hiding his true form. he could excuse himself for a few hours at a time to stretch his wings. but hed been on this couch for most of the day and he was desperate to escape. but every time he opened his mouth to say something about leaving Roman would pout and he was almost certain Logan had fallen asleep against his shoulder and well Logan never slept enough so how cold he disturb him? no, maybe one more movie would be fine. one more movie was not fine. one more movie was the opposite of fine. but he sat there until the credits rolled and as soon as they did he jumped up and all but ran to his room ignoring the others calling after him because really what was he going to say. he shoved the door closed not bothering to lock it and shucked his hoodie off and across the room. he didn't manage to get his shirt off. honestly, he didn't care much at this point. he let his wings unfurl ripping his shirt and he watched the purple strips of fabric fall to the floor around him. he rolled his shoulders and stretched his wings. it wasn't just wings he had to hide. but the rest was easy. his different colored eyes were easily hidden by contacts hed conjured. his purple and red scales were only down half his body. and the ones on his face were covered with makeup. the ones down his back and chest and arm were usually covered with his shirt and hoodie. he ran a hand through his hair and sighed, relieved. the relief, however, was short-lived. first, he heard a soft gasp, and then the sound of a sword being pulled from its sheath. and this was it. this was the moment he lost it all. “stand back! it’s the dragon-witch!” Virgil clenched his teeth. and his shoulders hunched up over himself. “what have you done with Virgil?” Virgil wanted to cry. he kept quiet. but he turned around so roman could see his face. see that face that still looked like himself and not the mangled and scaled face roman was so used to seeing. Roman faltered his sword dipping in the air as he gaped at him. patton and Logan were both standing behind Roman both wearing equally shocked faces. “Ro..” Virgil started but his voice came out growled and distorted and wrong and he immidetly covered his mouth with both of his hands. romans sword snapped up and was pointing right at vigils chest and he didn’t fight it. he even took a small step forward. closing the distance between the tip and his skin he stood and waited. letting his arms fall to his sides, his wings drooped. he wasn’t going to fight it. he locked eyes with roman. and was surprised to see such conflict in them. confusion and anger and fear. his free arm was still out like a shield protecting the others. protecting them from him. from Virgil. cause he was a threat now. “Roman..” Logan started to say, and Virgil glanced at him. logan was scared. but he wasn’t looking at Virgil he was looking at roman. “its oaky” Virgil whispered. surely they could see him now. for what he was. for the monster that he was. “it’s ok-” but he was cut off but a sharp pain and roman had pushed forward enough to break the skin. “Roman!” Virgil didn’t move away from it. but he was surprised when the sword was knocked away and suddenly Patton was standing with his back to him. virgil choked back a sob desperate to stay composed. “he.. he’s the…” Roman said but then he crumbled. roman crumbled. he fell to the floor and Virgil didn’t hesitate to kneel beside him. “its okay I’m sorry I didn’t know how to tell you I didn’t know what to say I didn’t want to lose you guys… I’m sorry..” he was saying his voice fluctuating between almost normal and guttural and growling. he couldn’t control it. roman was staring at nothing leaning against the doorframe. “ I was going to kill you..” roman whispered. “that’s okay. I would have let you” Virgil said honestly. “ I would have understood” “Virgil I’m so sorry.” and that’s not what Virgil expected. he expected fury and anger and shouting. he expected disgust and fear. he absolutely did not expect or even want, an apologie. “i.. for what? you have nothing to apologize for.. I’m the one who lied… I’m the one whos a monster..” roman was shaking his head. but Virgil knew he was right. “no.” Patton said now kneeling next to him. “you are not a monster Virgil. your family.”“but i..” Virgil started. “he’s right,” Logan said cutting him off. “if this is who you are then we except you.” Virgil stared at him in shocked silence. “is that possible?” he asked his gaze shifting to roman who was staring at him with such a mix of emotion. “its more than possible.” roman whispered. and then Romans arms were around his neck and he was being huged. virgil instinctively wrapped his arms and wings around roman. 

Send me writing Prompts!! -K

[mrmu5h]

blah blah blah blah big ass rambley rant that means nothing dont read if you arent interested in word blughish

in a bit of a manic mode thanks to inability with sleep and rolling around in my head as i normally do just now ive recently taken up slurping energy drinks and because im tired but not like *oh i wanna sleep* kind of tired like just physical tired which again slurpin those dranks up so i dont feel tiredish but my body is shmovin and everything feels heavy like yeah im here and im more then capable of grabbin a snack or running a few miles but ill feel super heavy and everything takes more effort then normal like sometimes i wonder if im throwing myself into the bubbly pit of caffeine to roughly rip out my emotions or just it makes me feel bubbly and buzzy like sometimes feeling hyped to the brick house and eyes wide as you feel your heart in your ears and your chest throb just kinda peaceful really i want an excuse to ramble away about nothing and everything BUT i dont want to bother people like it sucks to throw your shit in peoples faces and be like "SO UHHHH THOUGHTS ABOUT MY MELODRAMATIC BULLSHIT???" i can swallow all my garbage but sometimes just throwing up makes it feel a slight bit better and people ask you whats wrong or if shit is goin alright I sometimes just have a lil melt down and a friend just needs to tell me to stop and i stop but thats not too great since i can literally pin point thats it from gettin yelled at or hit when i was a tiny baby boy for emoting like yeah it sucks and forgive and forget after staking the issue with the peeps that had to do with it but now im forever fucked and like a lil pupperoni where someone just has to be like "errrmm yeaah kinda not really feelin you opening up because you are overwhelmed... stop" and then i sniff a lil and wipe my eyes and say thanks because how else am i going to react to a friend telling me to shut my face when im mid beginning sob now some of you who have made it to the point of my spirally brain mush moment may be asking why are you throwing all this junk on your tumblr really no one i still chat it up with follow me on tumblr and anyone else who does follow me may not even wanna be in contact with me there is like maybe 3 people i chat to that follow me here so the likelihood of them reaching out or even stomaching my acidic gurglings seems p slim but yeah end point is i like talking and rambling but dont want to overwhelm the people i care about because 99% of them just dont know what to do with the shifting slippery din of emotional noneness that i want to show someone like a weird gross thing that you arent sure is from this planet or like uhhh fuckin i dont know just a mess dropped pasta on the floor and its REAALLLLY in the carpet and you will for sure find a bit of meat slurry in the vents when those get cleaned but no one cleans the vent so when you actually *have* to its gunna be another remembering of your mess and then this new mess sure its small but it reminds you of the bigger one and you just kinda have to laugh at it or wide eyed stare for a moment normally im the kinda person to forever trap the memory but dont let it effect me until im in such a state im totally unable to control myself in a normal way like i have the control but i still wanna froth up and expose my issues to hopefully get someone to be like "damn... here is some validation i guess" then i can sigh and throw my hair back and be like "thx" anyway thx for reading if you did .u.

[wayfaring-cryptid]

My period started 9 days earlier and i cant walk on one leg

I fucking swear to god if i dont start transitions soon im gunna have a fucking mental break

I openly sobbed on the bathroom floor cuz im bleeding and cant fucking walk

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Stepping Up Again: Part 3

Pairings: Chibs x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, angst, teenage pregnancy

Word Count: 1,652

A/N: This series is a continuation of Stepping Up! Read that first if you haven’t! Hold onto your pants, though because this is gunna be a wild ride!

Stepping Up Masterlist        Aesthetic by @ravenangel33

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mom! Do I have to go to school?” Kelsi whined as she stomped into the kitchen. You nodded absentmindedly as you served Kellan’s breakfast.

“Yep. Don’t wanna hear it, Kels. Kellan, phone down at the table.” Your daughter whined and stomped her feet over to the table.

“So unfair.” She groaned as she rubbed her hand over her five and a half month along baby bump.

“It’s your fault you got knocked up.” Kellan teased as he broke off some of his pop tart and shoved them in his mouth.

“Kellan, I will kill you!” Kelsi shouted as she lunged toward her brother.

“Kelsi, sit down! Kellan, leave your sister alone, damn it. It’s enough!” You glared at your kids and handed Kelsi a smoothie. “It’s just enough.” The three of you looked up in different directions as Chibs came in to get his breakfast at the same time Mike came in to take Kelsi to school for second period.

“Out’a m’ouse.” Chibs said simply with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“Dad.” Kelsi sighed as she grabbed a lid for her breakfast.

“Nope, m’ouse, m’rules. ‘e can still take ye ta school an’ ‘e’s still a prospect bu’ ‘e’s still no’ welcome in m’ouse.” You rolled your eyes at your husband but choose not to say anything as you handed Kelsi her lunch. You gave her a kiss on the cheek as she grabbed her backpack and followed her boyfriend out the door. The second it latched behind her, you rounded on your husband and whacked his stomach.

“Cut the shit.” He shrugged dismissively as he poured himself a cup of coffee. Your eyes narrowed as he turned around to look at you as if he wasn’t in the wrong and once again, you found yourself squaring off for another fight with your old man. “Kellan, go to your room.”

“Aw, mom.” He whined.

“Kellan! Go!” You heard him huff over the sound of his chair scraping on your tile floor and you and Chibs stood in a stare off until you heard his door close. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I don’ ‘ave ta like ‘im, (Y/N)!”

“That’s not the point here, Filip! The point is, you are doing every single Goddamn thing in your power to push our daughter out of our lives. You get that, right?”

“She’s no’ goin’ anywhere, luv.” He snapped as he gestured to the door. “‘e’s no’ stupid enough ta take ‘er away from Charmin’…”

“No but he loves her. And if she tells him to jump he’s going to ask how high in a heart beat. You are pushing my baby away…” You almost instantly burst into tears and Chibs lost any and all fight in the situation.

“Shit… luv I’m sorry…”

“That’s our daughter, Filip and our granddaughter. We have to support… ev-everything…”

“I know. Shh, I know. I’m done fightin’ it, m’luv.”

“She gets you every time with the tears…” Kellan said as he leaned against the door frame leading into the kitchen.

“Boy-o, ye best ge’ yer smart ass ta the truck ‘fore I beat yer ass.” Chibs growled as he turned to glare at your son. Your son and his smart mouth ran through the kitchen as fast as he could to get away from his father’s current wrath.

“Why are you boys such assholes?” You sobbed as your husband ran his hand across the back of your head.

“Because we’re assholes, luv. Simple as tha’.” You nodded at him as he took a step back and gently kissed your forehead. “I’m sorry, (Y/N).” You nodded again as he brushed your tears away.

“Don’t apologize to me. Apologize to Mike and Kelsi. Because they are the ones you have been upsetting the most in the past five and a half months.” He nodded at you as your son honked your car horn so he wouldn’t be late for middle school. “I’ll see you at work.” Chibs nodded as he grabbed his cup of coffee to finish it quickly so he could get to the club, too.

——

“Is this Mrs. Telford?” Your brow furrowed as you looked away from the computer to give the woman on the phone your complete attention.

“Yes, this is.” You heard the woman hum on the other end of the call as you sat back in your chair.

“Mrs. Telford, this is Karen Smith from Charming High School. I’m calling to find out if Kelsi was home sick today and you may have forgotten to call…?” Your stomach turned as you quickly sat up straight.

“What? No, she went to school today.” You jumped up from the chair and walked as quickly as you could toward the club house to try and find the prospect.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Telford. She wasn’t in second or third period.” You nodded to yourself as you yanked open the back door to the club.

“Well thank you for letting me know. I’ll call her cell phone now.” You barely heard the woman say good-bye as you ripped open the doors to the chapel, not giving a shit about the rules. “Where is that little prick?” You spat as you looked around the room for Mike.

“Luv…?” Chibs tried as you found his eyes.

“Kelsi’s not in school.” You said as you pointed your finger at him. “I fucking told you.” You turned on your heel and left the chapel as you started calling your daughter. Her phone went straight to voicemail and you took a deep breath trying to steady yourself as Jax grabbed your arm.

“What the hell is going on?” You shook your head as you tried her cell again while grabbing his cigarettes from his kutte pocket.

“Chibs kicked Mike out of the house again this morning when he came to pick up Kelsi. She was already complaining about not wanting to go to school… Kelsi, it’s mom. You need to call me right away. I’m not mad, I just need you to call me so I know you’re OK.”

“Call every charter we got.” Jax said as he turned back to the other Sons. “I want every single man available looking for them.”

“Luv, we’ll find them.” Chibs tried as Juice got on the phone to start putting the word out. Your eyes narrowed at him and you shook your head.

“I’ve been warning you for months, Filip. Now let’s just pray to God my baby comes home.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“She’s gunna come home.” Lyla said as the two of you sat in the living room of your house, staring at the front door. You shook your head and tears rolled down your cheeks as you absentmindedly ran your fingers through Kellan’s hair. He had refused to leave your side for any reason since he got home and despite the fact that he would never admit it to anyone, he had cried himself to sleep with his head on your lap about an hour before.

“I should have let her stay home.” You said for probably the hundredth time. Lyla shook her head as she rubbed your back reassuringly.

“She’ll come home, (Y/N).” Your head shot up as the sweep of a set of headlights across your front window but the distant rumble of motorcycles made your heart nearly stop. You let out a choked sob, that woke up Kellan as Chibs, Jax, and Opie came into the living room.

“Let’s go to bed, Kel.” You said as you completely ignored your husband. You got to your feet and dipped your shoulder out of his reach as you followed your son to his room.

“Can you call her again?” He asked as he climbed into bed and scooted all the way across the full size mattress. You nodded as you lifted up the covers and got into bed beside him.

“Hey! It’s ya girl, Kelsi! You got my voicemail because I’m probably out with my boo, with friends, or at school. Leave a message at the beep and I’ll get back to you. Oh, and yes dad, I know that time curfew is!” “The mailbox you are trying to call is full.”

You played the message one more time as Kellan curled up against your side with tears in his eyes.

“She’s gunna come home, right mom?” He asked softly as you set your phone on the bedside table. “I promise I won’t pick on her anymore.” Your already shattered heart broke even more as you held onto your son as tightly as you could.

“She’ll come home, baby. I know she will. We just have to give her some time, ya know?” He nodded his head as you pulled up the blanket over his shoulders.

“Momma… can you sing?” Tears welled in your eyes and you nodded against the top of his head.

“Of course, baby.” You saw a shadow fall across the wall in front of you from the hall way as you started singing ‘Three Little Birds’ to your son. You closed your eyes and shook your head subtly as you rubbed Kellan’s back until he fell back asleep. As you laid there singing the same song over and over, you could hear Chibs crying from the hallway behind you. You let him sit and wallow in his misery for nearly twenty minutes before you carefully reached your hand back and snapped your fingers to get his attention. With a simple, slightly awkward wave of your hand, you heard him get off the floor and come over to the bed.

“Anything?” You whispered as he climbed into Kellan’s bed behind you. He shook his head as he wrapped his arms around the two of you.

“Keep… keep singin’… please luv?” You nodded as you laced your fingers with his on Kellan’s side but no matter how much you didn’t want to, you cried through every single word.

Part 4

[looselucy]

November

I had never been good at goodbyes. The first goodbye I really remember, was when our pet dog Timmy died, and I forced my mum and dad to give him a funeral, and I probably cried for about a week. Another stand out goodbye in the list of many, was my brother moving to uni, and that was very reasonable for me to be a mess of tears and tantrums, because I hadn’t seen him since he left. One of my most recent goodbyes, was when I moved to university. I was only a few hours away from my parents and our new dog, Timmy-Two, but I absolutely had a breakdown when they dropped me off there. To be honest, they were no better, which was predictable behaviour from Phil and Lisa, always emotional, especially when it came to their darling daughter. The whole thing was atrocious when they left, watery eyes and inaudible sentences and desperate hugs and it was so pathetic I nearly vomit even thinking back to it. And then this one. This goodbye, was just as shit as the rest.

“I promise I’ll come visit!” Grace insisted. I sobbed as I hugged her, not wanting to look at that stupid pink suitcase she had packed behind her, wanting to kick it over or pull all her clothes out and throw them everywhere just to keep her with me a bit longer. “Or,” I sobbed uneasily. “You could just stay!” “Sorry, Pippa, but the uni life is just not for me.” I just kept sobbing, but sobbing this time seemed more plausible than when my parents left, because there was no guarantee she would come back. She promised me she would, but I knew that wasn’t enough. It’s strange, being at uni. Friendships develop so quickly it’s hard to even keep track of how close you all get. And with Grace being in the room next door to mine on our floor, from moving in on September 15th, to November 1st, it was safe to say she was my best friend. I was besotted with her, and I really didn’t want her to leave. She hated her course though, and she dropped out before it was too late, before she was too committed. Not even the end of the first term in our first year, and she was leaving. I was really going to miss her. “Alright, alright!” Zayn barked from beside me. “You’ve been hugging her for about ten minutes now, you’re being selfish, Pip! Let me have a go.” Tears kept rolling down my face as I gave her up for a moment, the rest of the gang moving in to give her a goodbye hug. There was me, Grace (before she selfishly decided to leave) Zayn, Mike, Tally, and Ringo. (I had still to learn Ringo’s real name, she was a quiet one, and a Beatles fan, I think.) Everyone was saying their goodbyes, but no one was quite as emotional as I was about her leaving. They all gave her their hugs and farewells. “You best stay in touch!” Tally instructed. “I will! I promise! God, you’re all so dramatic.” Everyone kind of laughed except me. I was not amused. Zayn moved and gave her a kiss on the head before I took over again, hugging her so tightly it was like I knew for a fact I would never see her ever again. Like I said, I’ve never been good at goodbyes. “You’re an emotional wreck.” She giggled once everyone else had rekindled back in the kitchen, giving us our space. “How many times do I need to promise?” “But I’ll miss living with you.” I tried to calm down. “I love you being here.” “I’ll be back before you know it.” “You better be!” “I’m gunna miss my train...” She groaned. “Fine.” I shot, pulling away from her and wiping away my tears. “Go. Leave me here alone to die.” She backed out of the door, grabbing her suitcase and looking at me whilst giggling. She did always say that she liked how I got emotional about little things, like songs and films and TV shows. But I had calmed a little, finally. I stood in the doorway giving her the weakest smile I could summon. “Gunna miss you, Girl.” She smiled. “You too. Get home safe, okay?” I sniffled. She nodded, and I knew she was emotional too, but she wasn’t the crying type like I was, so the goodbye was lacking tears on her part. I think I cried enough for the both of us. We said goodbye a final couple of times, and by the time she was in the elevator going down to the bottom floor I was relatively calm, wiping away my final few tears. I slumped past our bedrooms as I walked down the corridor, three doors on each side, making my way to the kitchen and living room area of our halls, where they all sat giving me sad head tilts, knowing how close we were, how much I would miss her. I stuck my middle finger up to the lot of them, making them laugh awkwardly, as Ringo quietly went back into her room. Defeated, I flopped down on the sofa and huffed out my sorrow as Zayn tucked me under his arm, kissing my forehead once before we nestled comfortably together. “I can’t believe she’s actually gone.” Mike sighed. “Just like... ‘cause she mentioned it on day one and then stuck around... I kinda thought she was all talk.” That’s what we had all been hoping, because Grace was one of those people who could walk in a room and make everyone’s day a little bit brighter; she could cheer up anyone just by smiling or telling a small joke. She was incredible. “You’re just gutted you didn’t get a chance to shag her.” Zayn chuckled. “Mate, I’m gutted with my sex life full stop! Not just when it comes to her! She was more wife material anyway, I’ll hunt her down in a few years.” I tried to laugh but I really wasn’t in the mood, I just kept staring at the tele as Zayn traced comforting circles on the top of my arm with two fingers, staring at the TV too. We had gotten lucky with our flat, we were in one of the better-quality student accommodations, so everything was modern and nice. The only downfall really was the communal shower rooms, which for some odd reason were placed past the living room and kitchen, so everyone got a good sight of you dashing through in a towel and dripping on the floor whilst they tried to watch TV. But our rooms were lovely, the whole thing was pretty lovely, so we knew it would only be a short amount of time before a student on a waiting list would take Graces now empty room. “How long you gunna be sad for, Pippa?” Tally asked me as she balanced her plate full of pasta on her knees, given we had no table. “Dunno. Could be years. Maybe I’ll never get over it.” “Well you’re gunna have to ‘cause we’re definitely going out tonight!” Mike tried. “I can’t.” I shrugged. “I’m in at nine.” “Pussy!” “Fuck off, Mike!” I giggled, throwing the nearest cushion at him. “Reyt!” He chirped, moving back to the hall. “It’s wank o’clock. See you all soon!” Zayn was in stitches as Mike strolled out of the area and into his room, Tally was trying her best not to laugh but I could see she was failing miserably. “I never knew living with lads would be such a cliché!” I groaned through a stifled laugh. “You lived with your brother, didn’t you?” Tally giggled. “Yeah, but he never announced when he was going for a wank, thankfully.” That just made Zayn laugh even more, he was absolutely creasing next to me, having to move his arm from around me and cover his face. I started to think how even without Grace, I would be fine, because that lot meant the world to me. I shook my head and stood myself up, walking over to my food cabinet and grabbing out a packet of crisps, standing and leaning rather than sitting back down with Zayn, who was still chuckling away to himself. “You sure you can’t come out tonight?” Tally sulked, looking over her shoulder to me. “I really shouldn’t.” I huffed. “You haven’t missed a lecture in like... three weeks.” “To be fair, that is really good.” And it was. The first year of uni seemed to be a complete write-off, and my brother had said exactly the same thing. You could pretty much take the piss in your first year, and still pass. He told me that second year was a little bit harder but you could still go out most days of the week and miss a fair few lectures. However, in his last year, he sounded like he was going to have a mental breakdown he was working so hard. So in my head, I still pretty much had two years of fun left. Missing one lecture, for the first time in almost a month, couldn’t be too bad. And I did need cheering up. Zayn stood himself up and moseyed over to me, hooking his arms around my waist and I put mine over his shoulders, both of us swaying in our hug. “C’mon, Pippa. We have to go out, the only way to deal with sadness is drinking.” “Sad, but true.” I agreed. “So,” He grinned, pulling away from me. “We going out?” I rolled my eyes and shook my head, but obviously I was smiling anyway, caving into the idea of going out and possibly missing a lecture. “Fine.” I breathed. “Let’s do it.” + + + We passed the shots I had bought down the line, Zayn banging his hand on the bar eagerly. It was me, Mike, Tally and Zayn. We had tried to convince Ringo to tag along with us, but she was having none of it, said she had too much work to do. We always tried with her though, and it’s not that we thought she didn’t like us, she was just so withdrawn. But there was nothing we could do other than try. The line of shots made their way down the group, each of us having three each; one red, one green, one purple. I had always been terrible at shots, so I had no idea why I bought them, especially three at a time. Seemed pretty stupid, but there we were. “Alright, on the count of three, we do red!” Zayn shouted, as though he was some kind of soldier ready for war. “We have five seconds before we move onto purple, and a maximum of ten seconds, before we go onto green. Are you with me?” “Shut up, Zayn.” Tally laughed. “I SAID ARE YOU WITH ME?” He shouted in her ear. If I had already taken my first shot I would have spat it out laughing, but thankfully I laughed without spitting the substance everywhere, having a minute to calm down before Zayn counted to three, and we did as we were instructed. I was doing alright until the third shot, whenn I felt like I was going to throw up all over the bar, but luckily, I didn’t. I counted to eight seconds out of my given ten before I finally did the last shot, feeling their affects so quickly, it almost felt like a waste of time that I wasn’t dancing. It took me a little bit longer than the rest to recover, they were already on their way to the centre of the dancefloor by the time I pushed away from the bar, stumbling a little as I did before regaining my balance and dancing over to them, a cheeky, somewhat tipsy, smile on my face. Another thing I loved about uni is that I had come across a group of people who were exactly the same as I was on a night out. None of us gave a shit, and our terrible team dancing was what made our nights so much fun. I’d say around half an hour of intense boogying passed before Zayn signalled that he wanted a cigarette, and he knew that it was likely I would join him after a drink, so I did. We wandered to the heated outside area, which was one of the good things about our favourite club, Thimble, though after many discussions we still couldn’t figure out why that was the name they had chosen for a club. Zayn handed me a roll-up, and placed one in his mouth, getting out a lighter and sparking mine for me before he sparked his own. Within seconds, out of nowhere, two arms grabbed Zayn from behind, right around his waist as the mystery man lifted him in the air, making a girly scream irrupt from him lips, which brought in a couple of eyes and a couple of laughs. As soon he was dropped, he turned around to find the culprit. “Fucking hell, Louis!” He gasped, slapping his palms against the boys cheeks. “I nearly shat me’self, you idiot!” “Alright, Lad!” The other one said as they started hugging. I think I had heard Zayn speak of this Louis before. He was on his art course with him, but what Zayn had apparently forgotten to tell me was that he was absolutely gorgeous. I stared at him as the two of them interacted, and I was a little entranced. He was all slicked back hair and black clothes, turtle neck, freshly shaved, striking eyes. He was beautiful. After a while Zayn turned back around to me, grinning like he didn’t see Louis every bloody day at his lectures. He was acting like he hadn’t seen him in years. Classic effect of alcohol. I gave Zayn a look, a look that said, if you don’t introduce me to this God of a man now I will kill you. “Oh shit.” He mumbled. “Umm, Pip this is Louis. Louis, this is Pippa.” He moved in and gave me a kiss on the cheek, and I already knew he was charming too, which was frustrating. I couldn’t cope when boys were attractive but charming too, it was always too much to take in. “Nice to meet you.” He said as he pulled away, looking me up and down. “You live with Zayn, yeah?” “Right across from him.” I nervously replied. “Are you the one who cries a lot?” He smirked. I sucked in air through my teeth, cringing that of all the things Zayn could have said, that was what he had decided to pass on. “Umm...” I let out a breathy laugh. “I get emotional about things.” “Every time I watch E.T. I cry like a baby, don’t worry about it.” “To be fair,” Zayn chirped. “I cry at Finding Nemo.” ”No, fair shout man!” Louis looked deadly serious. “At the beginning-” “When his wife dies!” Zayn gawped. “And Nemo is the only baby left!” “It’s absolutely heart breaking.” “Heart breaking.” Louis repeated. It struck me quite quickly how similar Louis and Zayn were, and I knew why my flatmate had raved about his friendship with the blue-eyed boy. I shook my head at them, taking a drag of the cigarette Zayn had rolled me, my head spinning slightly, half of me ready for bed and the other half ready to carry on my terrible dancing. Behind myself and Zayn we heard someone shout Louis’ name. ”Gotta run.” He smirked again. “Nice to meet you, Pippa.” “You too!” I cooed, blushing as though he had complimented me. ”Zayn.” The two slapped their hands together before clasping their hands tights together. “See you tomorrow, bro.” “Later, man.” Louis bounced off to the lad who had shouted his name, yelling and cheerful and 100% attractive in every way ever possible. Jesus wept, I was actually impressed by him, I just wanted to eat him up on the spot and leave nothing for anyone else. As soon as I knew he was out of earshot, I slapped Zayn hard on the arm, hitting that stupid tiger tattoo, his arms completely on show thanks to the fact he cut the sleeves off his t-shirt. “Ouch!” He laughed. “What was that for?” “Why the fuck does your stupidly attractive mate only know me for the fact I cry?” “I don’t know! I’ve told him other stuff.” “Right. Like what?” “Like... how you throw up on hangovers sometimes.” “Brilliant, Zayn. Thank you.” I couldn’t stop smiling even though I was shaking my head. His apology to me was him wrapping one arm around me and pulling me to him, giving me a kiss on the forehead, still chuckling away to himself. He moved out, extending his little finger, waiting for my finger to link up with his. “Alright.” He laughed. “I pinky-promise, I will say better things about you in the future. I’ll make him think you’re a goddess.” “How exactly?” I giggled. “Umm... I’ll tell him about how Finn said you’re really good at giving head.” “Y’know what, don’t say shit, Zayn. Let’s just let him forget I exist.” That probably made him laugh ever harder, grabbing me by the shoulders as I turned around, both of us throwing our cigarettes on the floor and making our way back inside, ready to find the rest of the troops. Zayn steered me off towards the bar before we joined the team again, where he purchased me two more drinks, that completely tipped me over the edge. + + + I awoke on the floor in my room, still in my dress from the night before, one side of my face dinted from the bumpy carpet beneath my skin. My eyes opened slowly, and I recognized the spot immediately, this not being the first time I had awoke on the floor, literally inches away from my bed. I had no idea why I did that, I swear to god it must have been a decision I made when I was drunk, though in the morning I could never recall why I would ever think it was a good idea. I groaned and cursed to myself as I moved. I first readjusted my arm, and in the process knocked over and entire can that I had open next to me, beer soaking into my already ruined carpet. I hurriedly stood the can back up, though a good 90% of it had already spilled so there was literally no point. My head was pounding, every joint in my body ached like fuck as I sat myself up, rubbing my eyes, not really caring about the fact I must have been rubbing my mascara all over my face. All I knew was that I needed water, or a cup of tea, or something that would help mend my broken body. “Holy. Shit.” I grumbled to myself. I stumbled to my feet, nearly falling forward and whacking my head against the desk that sat ahead of the window, which looked out to what seemed to be an endless line of student accommodation. The only thing that got me through that hangover was the thought that there had to be a student in one of those buildings who was feeling even worse than I was. There just had to be. Luckily, this was one of those hangovers where I didn’t feel like throwing up, I just needed drink and food and possibly a cuddle, even though my usual person to cuddle was Grace, and that option was out of the window. I found my phone on the desk, checking what time it was and seeing it was almost 12pm, only an hour until my lecture finished. “Fuck!” I don’t know how I thought that I was going to manage getting there at 9am after drinking so heavily. Basically, I knew I wasn’t going to go, but I still kicked myself for it, I still got so annoyed with myself for not making it. I pulled my dress down to cover my dignity, all that was left of it, before turning on the spot and heading towards the door, eager to get some fluid in my system that wasn’t alcoholic, scraping my hair to the side slightly and catching a glimpse of myself in the full-length mirror on my door. Surprisingly, my makeup was relatively intact, but there was no denying I was an absolute state. I tugged on the handle to my door and opened it slightly, poking my head around the corner and looking to the left down the corridor. Judging by how quiet it was, everyone was still sleeping, or in a lecture. The kitchen was so quiet it suggested that anyway. I fell through my door and groaned to myself as I scurried down to the kitchen, screeching to myself as I made the short journey, feeling so painfully sorry for myself you would have never thought my pain was self-inflicted. As soon as I step foot in the kitchen, which was still stupidly quiet, my heart caught tight in my throat, stumbling backwards and shouting out my shock. “HOLY FUCKING SHIT!” The random boy that was stood in our kitchen whipped his head round to catch a glimpse of me, eyes going up and down my body as he chuckled under his breath, shaking his head as he looked back towards his drink, continually dipping a teabag into the mug of hot water in front of him. “Nice.” He huffed, grinning to himself. “Shit. Sorry. You’re very quiet.” “I am.” He turned to look at me. He was extremely striking. I think it was his sharp jawline, how tanned he seemed to be, which was near impossible given the UK’s climate, so that was noticeable right away. “Did Tally bring you back?” I asked, hesitantly moving towards my food cabinet. It wouldn’t be the first time Tally had brought home a ridiculously attractive boy, in fact, she did it often. She had a way about her, an aura, boys flew to her like flies on shit, and she lapped it up. This guy had to be her best effort though. His hair was short, messy and brown and curly. He was topless, just a pair of running shorts on. It revealed to me his perfectly toned body, which had one very noticeable tattoo. An enormous butterfly on his stomach. I caught glimpse of it and then decided not to stare, but I remember thinking that was odd. He didn’t have any other tattoos, just that one. “Who?” He baffled. That threw me, I couldn’t think of any other plausible reason he would be in our flat. I certainly hadn’t brought him back, I would remember him. And Ringo hadn’t even gone out. I then thought maybe he was Ringo’s secret boyfriend, and was silently congratulating her in my head. “Sorry, I thought you were one of Tally’s conquests.” “I live here.” He replied. My eyes went wide. That was the person who was going to replace Grace. That guy. Jesus wept, I had only just gotten used to bloody Zayn walking about the place, even Mike wasn’t all bad, and then that one? I swore that people had not been so insanely attractive at school, or college. I moved to uni and then suddenly there was just a gaggle of attractive men and I for one, was not good at coping with attractive people. I became a nervous wreck and found it hard to structure sentences. “Y-you live here?” I pointed to the floor. “Just moved in this morning.” “Oh.” I gawped. “You live here?” He leant against the kitchen top. “Umm, yeah. In the last room on the right. First room on the left. Umm…” “The room next to mine?” He smirked. “Yeah.” He probably knew the effect he had on girls, he was stupidly confident, not struggling in the same way I was. I suppose it was partly down to the hangover, I figured maybe I would be better later on, or the day after, or next week… I would learn to deal with it at some point. After a few moments of awkward silence, he breathed in through his teeth, making it even more awkward, and pushed away from the counter. “Better go unpack.” He coughed. “I imagine I’ll see you around.” “Probably.” “What’s your name?” “Pippa.” “Pippa?” “Pippa Payne.” “Pfft, seriously?” He scoffed. “You sound like a character from an Enid Blyton book.” I just lowered my eyebrows and looked at him in a complete state of shock as he walked away, laughing and shaking his head, removing himself from the kitchen and going back to his room. I stood there unable to think of something to say, how snotty he had been and how he just did not care that he made that comment about me. True, it wasn’t the worst thing he could have said, but it just amazed me that he burst that out to me during our first interaction. I hadn’t even had the chance to learn his name so I could make some snotty comment back. I got a pint glass out of my cupboard and filled it to the brim with water, before practically running and banging on Zayn’s door, loud and ignorant. “Bet a tenner that’s Pippa.” I heard him yell from inside. “How am I supposed to win this bet?” I yelled through the wood. “By not being Pippa.” “But I am Pippa.” “Well then you owe me a tenner.” I huffed, rolling my eyes and letting myself in. Zayn, like most people, had managed to get himself in bed even though he was stupidly drunk. His bed was to the right as I walked in, a mirrored version to mine since he was just across from me. I stared down to him with serious eyes after having slammed the door shut. He let out a confused laugh as he looked up to me. “What?” He gawped. “We have a new person.” I whispered. “What?” “A new person. A boy. And he’s just taken the piss out of my name.” He uneasily lifted himself so he was upright in his bed, taking in what I was telling him. I hurriedly moved and put my water on his desk, before sitting at the end of his bed, still looking at him with the most intense look on my face. He ran his hands over his eyes and through his hair. “Grace literally moved out less than twenty-four hours ago.” He groaned. “I know, and they’ve replaced her with a twat. A really attractive twat.” “What did he say?” “Something about a character, something... I dunno, but I didn’t like it!” “Give it a week and you’ll be his best mate.” Zayn huffed. But he was far from right. Because over the next few days, I was going to discover that my new flatmate and I were not going to be friends, not at all.

[notokay-killjoy-blog]

Your Putting Up With Me For A While

Request: Hi hi, saw your requests where open and was wondering if you could do a gerardxreader where she has a severe anxiety attack and ends up fainting. Gerard helps her as he understands mental health issues too. Lots of care and love. Thank you :)

Announcement: OH LORDY LORD IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!! I’ve had absolutely no time to write so I’m writing instead of sleeping. I WILL NOT SLEEP TILL ITS DONE!! But yeah it’s done :) but I’m so so so so sooooo sorry it took so long hun :( Also sorry it’s so freaking dePresSinG :/ okay so I hope you enjoy :’)

TRIGGER WARNINGS: ABUSE, SUICIDE, AND SEVER ANXIETY THIS IS ANGSTY OOFERS

Female Reader (soz all you male/genderfluid peeps

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO HANG OUT WITH THEM ANYMORE!” Your father’s words pierced your brain as he kicks (your crush’s name) out of your house. “I know but-“ “ BUT WHAT? YOU LIKE THEM?” Tears sting your eyes, “Well, y-yeah-“ “UGH! COME TO TERMS WITH REALITY! NOBODY LOVES YOU! NOBODY EVER WILL!” He slaps you across the face, and you run up to your room, sobbing. You lay in bed, thoughts taking over, “nobody will ever love me, ever.” You restate this sentence in your mind until it feels true. You fall asleep, in a pool of tears, hoping tomorrow would be better.

You wake up and walk downstairs. You approach the living room, where you find your father, dead on the floor, with a note:

This was because of you. Your a brat and I couldn’t take you anymore. I know your too broke to pay rent, so your gunna have to find someplace to stay. Your the reason your mom left. Nobody loves you, you can’t hold a job for 5 seconds, you can’t follow simple directions, you can’t even realize how dumb you are. Your weak, you’ll never make it, and I’m done helping you. Goodbye y/n. -Dad

You couldn’t believe this. Your father commit suicide just because he was sick of you . Five words raced through your mind, “nobody will ever love you.” Those five words, overwhelming your brain. Nobody will ever love you! Nobody will ever love you! NOBODY WILL EVER LO-“

You woke up in your boyfriend Gerard’s arms, sobbing. “Shh it’s ok babe, it will all be okay.” You wrapped your arms around his torso, staining his t-shirt with your tears. “I-I-I can’t-“ You start to worry. What if Gerard didn’t love you? What if he gets sick of you and leaves like you Mom did? What if he breaks up with you and kicks you out of the apartment? What if...

“Y/n was it your dad?” Gee says softly in your ear. You nod, covered in cold sweat and tears. “Oh babe,” He starts to stroke your hair, humming a soft tune. You can’t help but think, what if he’s just acting? What if someone dared him to date you? What if somebody bet him that he couldn’t date me and he’s trying to win? These thoughts put pressure on your chest, making you feel heavy and unable to breathe. You start hyperventilating at the thought of Gerard leaving you, you loved him too much. You’ve never loved anybody more, and the though of him leaving forever and secretly not liking you makes you want to...

You vomit in the trash bin beside your bed. “Oh y/n” Gerard knew how bad your anxiety got, especially when you dreamt of your dad. Your dads suicide scarred you for your entire life, and messed up your emotions. Gerard knew. Gerard goes through mental health issues just as much as you do, just he had a better family life as a teen. “Y/n, I love you.” You look up at him, paler than moonlight. “Really? Your not leaving me?” Gerard looked shocked. “What? Of course I’m not leaving you! Why would I?” You wipe your face with your arm. “My Dad said nobody would ever love me, that I was a waste of space, that I was weird and didn’t deserve what I have. I was afraid he was right. What if you were just dating me if someone told you too? Or if your just acting? I can get the thought out of my hea-“” Well get it out of there. I love you, more than I’ve ever loved anybody. I’m not gunna leave you.” He smiled, “Your putting up with me for a while.”

You smiled and laid your head on his chest. He rested his forehead on the top of your head and kissed it. “Your father was a bad man y/n. He had something wrong with him. He was jacked in the head. Your stronger than you think.” He grabs your hand, interlocking fingers. “I love you more than any man ever will.” You both sat there, hand in hand, resting your heads on eachother. Then you head filled with thoughts again, but better ones this time.

Gerard loved you, and you loved him. Your dad was wrong about everything. You were happy with Gee, and he was happy with you. Life was good, even without a family. You had Gee, and that was good enough for you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Omg I actually liked this one :D it was so short tho but again, I’m sorry it took so long. It took too long for a short imagine ouch :’) anywho I’ll try to be faster next time I’ve just had homework and I have to study and I have practice and competition and games so I will very much try to take less time next time :) also I just realized the reader doesn’t faint :( I’m sorry again I’m a mess. I hope it wasn’t something you were looking forward too :’( I made the character freaking vomit but I didn’t make them faint imsosorry