#im guessing it was 100% intentional though. if they wanted to play it straight they could have

[localvoidcat]

for the guy that got his eyes exploded by literal satan they really did him dirty with that scene . im elaborating more under the tags though

[foulserpent]

very curious to see how you'd approach fixing the bard's college questline!

heres just off the top of my head. im thinking it has a somewhat comedic (but not outright 100% silly) tone and be really focused on the role of story and song as a chronicle of history. 

the dragonborn joins the college, only to find theyre mostly there to be hired muscle and to help train a more promising bard apprentice by being a muse for their songs- you do the college’s busywork, and they try to write inspiring music about it. 

the apprentice bard is deeply enamored with skyrim’s bardic history and the roles of bards in battle and politics. and they dont like you very much and make scathing passive aggressive songs about you, just bc that would be funny. depending on your choices  they might eventually grow more friendly with you but should never give you the hero treatment. 

the fetch quests for instruments can still be there, but the intent is to play up the humor of the situation (youre hired muscle and this bard who thinks you suck is writing scathing songs about your performance) and diversify the situations a bit

finn’s lute: the lute was stolen by some bandits, one of whom is making bank going from town to town with it as a bard. theyre a charming thief and have a way with words, and no ones gonna side with you over him. he’s very weak and not much of a fight, but hangs out in busy taverns and it will be VERY hard to kil or steal from him and get away with it. you have options as to how to deal with this, including murder, theft, doing him a “favor” (stealing something else for him of greater value as a trade or maybe resolving a conflict with the other bandits), etc. none of the options are particularly glorious and your partner writes a song about the mighty hero begrudgingly making shady deals with a twinkish thief in a tavern. 

panteas flute: a necromancer stole a flute, and now theres whispers of strange music and sounds of revelry in the marshes at night... this is bc the necromancer HAS actually enchanted it to ‘make the dead dance’. you find them in a grove, at the remains of what looks to be some wild bacchic revelry where all the people are dead except for the necromancer. they play the flute, which reanimates the corpses in waves, with some of them attacking you and some just dancing. your partner watches from a safe vantage point and commentates on your performance. 

rjorn’s drum: i dont really remember doing this one ingame. basic summary is ‘find lost drum of a 2nd era battle drummer (who turns out to have been lured to his death in this cairn by a powerful draugr lord) which i think could be interesting.. i guess it would be cool if it could bring the historical element into it more , like we learn about what a battle drummer was. might be corny but it also might be fun if during the boss battle, the ghost of rjorn manifests and plays a warsong that gives you advantage in the battle. your partner joins in

the “tending the flames” quest comes AFTERWORDS and is the grand culmination of events. id want it to be very much steeped in history and kind of exploring the role of the bard in nordic culture. we NEED to be able to read more of the poetic edda since its like, the bardic history of skyrim. 

i think it would be interesting if the ghost of the bard svaknir (who accompanies you) uses the Voice in song form, which im not sure if thats technically just a headcanon or not but it would be really interesting. he definitely should be singing AND fighting (instead of just fighting and yelling) but you cant actually talk to him or get him to tell you the verses. 

once you recover the verse, viarmo is like “god damnit this is barely intact. UGH. come see me later” as-is ingame and the quest is on hold. and this bit might be stupid but here me out:

at this point, you can wait a few days and get a summons to return to the college and complete the quest as normal. but youll hear rumors like “theyre saying that something happened at dragonsreach.. that big dragon skull is gone!!” it adds a miscellaneous quest. 

you go investigate, and theres a big fucking hole in the walls where numinex’s skull used to be. a guard was like “damndest thing. it just went FLYING!”, its implied that this was numinex being resurrected by alduin.

your partner, a devoted bard very interested in the college’s history, is like “HOLY SHIT LETS GO FIND NUMINEX TO HEAR THE STORY STRAIGHT FROM HIM!!!” theyre really enthusiastic about this as a way to both learn this mysterious segment of history and as a more dignified way to save the verses than “making shit up”. you can choose to accept this or to go “no way lol” and just complete the quest as normal by making up new verses. (choosing to visit numinex will gain your partners approval, choosing not to will make them think youre lame)

if you accept, your partner is like “hmmm well all the stories say numinex roosted on mount anthor. lets check there”. you go there, he’s there, but not quite himself. he’ll be willing to talk with you, though very rude. he doesnt care that much about the silly little human festival, but he’s really quite lonely, lamenting about his imprisonment and eager to tarnish the reputation of the foul nord that captured him. one way or the other, you can get his side of the story in order to truly restore the poetic edda. you can go through this without him becoming hostile, and afterwords he can be found here or at the throat of the world, chatting with paarthurnax

either way, the ending is similar- you can tell the story as numinex told it, or you can make shit up like you do ingame. the festival is a success, and the bards college starts treating you like an actual bard. you can now actually play instruments, and earn money in little sidequests to perform at inns and at events and stuff, help write songs, etc.

maybe as a final little thing.. your partner asks you to accompany them to bard’s leap. if you do that, and you jump alongside them, theyll finally respect you . (just a bit) and they can be a permanent companion

[vamprawr]

deltarune chapter 2 things i wanna say

so kris is the knight. uhm lowkey had a theory goin on throughout but it was confirmed. i dont think they have evil intentions though. they were always known as the weird kid, and when we came along they finally made friends and had fun with them, so they want it to continue, like what queen was saying after you defeat her. kris rips you out because they dont want you to interfere with them doing this, since you know/think its wrong.

minor thing i think was in ch1 as well, every time a cutscene ends, no matter which direction you face, kris will turn to you.

where did rouxls go after you entered the city dark world? lancer was still there but he wasnt. guess he just left?

ralsei is sus. i dont wanna be sus but im sus. he had no issues being in another dark world for an extended period, and even knew about the abandoned classroom above. is it straight-up asriel? if not uh wth

sans saying in 2 years. help (assuming this is the dev teams prediction for ch3)

can susie and noelle kiss rn 🤬🤬🤬🤬

when kris left through the bathroom window i think they slashed the tires... so toriels disappearance wouldnt be 100% out of left field? i mean they also opened the front door a bit and messed with the tv

also is flowey the fucking tv. i was honestly waiting for his stupid ass in there but it was just a smile. close enough imo

toriel in dark world... will she look like her undertale self? maybe? just a theory, a game theory?

the clam that talks about suzie in undertale is at the beach hello???

ALSO 7 CHAPTERS? this gonna finish in 2045 😭

WHEN YOU TRY TO CALL ON THE CELL PHONE GASTER NOISES PLAY FROM THE BG OF ENTRY 17

ok im done rambling ehe

[ahwait-no-yes]

Let’s talk about if Saihara hated Ouma

So lately I’ve actually seen a bit more comments on how Saihara doesn’t actually like Ouma and people have gone as far as saying he hates him and idk why people genuinely believe it so here I am about to refute that (I’ve been waiting ages to make this post just so you know so this came out as a horribly unstructured ramble more than anything oops)

some notes beforehand:

I have an obvious bias as I do ship saiouma. although i’ll try to be neutral on what I say here, I can’t hide my bias. I have tried to include what people that hate this ship believe to counter them though, also if you ship other things that’s totally fine?? don’t think of any of this as an attack at your ship and I’m not saying Saihara loved Ouma, I’m just tired of people saying Saihara hated him.

You’re allowed to respectfully disagree as long as you don’t berate me or say I don’t know the game when the majority of the screenshots in this are from my own gameplay, lmao. 

and massive whole-game spoilers! Don’t read this if you’ve not finished DRV3!

Glad to know you made it under the cut! now I can begin with where I think people got this idea that Saihara hates him from- the infamous “You’re alone Kokichi and you always will be” line.

I admit this was very cold and still breaks my fragile saiou heart, but to base Saihara’s entire perspective of Ouma on this one line he said while he wasn’t thinking straight is just.. no.. It’s unrealistic. we’ve seen how Saihara is able to adapt his views and grow (I’ll come back to this later), he’s not stubborn in this regard like Momota or even Ouma is, so even if he did mean it 100% (which I doubt because when *anybody* is angry they will say or do things they may regret had they been calmer), it’s not like his view on Ouma from chapter 4 was his final view on him. And that’s what people fail to realise. 

So, how does Saihara view Ouma then?

well, I’d say he’s been interested in Ouma as a detective from the moment he met him with his curiosity piqued at Ouma’s claims of leading a secret organisation.

and he remains curious about Ouma throughout, always questioning why Ouma says certain things, what Ouma is lying for, he just wants to figure him out- and this doesn’t just apply to free time events either

I think you get my point there, now, I think if I didn’t ship saiou and read this, I’d argue these are all pre-chapter 5 and before the breaking line so he may have been curious before but not after- that then brings me to my next point

Saihara was confident- dare I say believed- in Ouma, especially after Chapter 5.

how bold of me to say ikr, but this ties in to Saihara’s ability to adapt his views. He’s sort of like a mixture of both Kaito and Ouma honestly, because naturally as a detective he has to be suspicious and think logically as Ouma does, while at the same time Kaito taught him to believe in his friends which has also helped him to advance in trials. I think he might have extended this belief to Ouma, because he trusts that Ouma is doing what he does for a reason.

In fact, I’d argue he’s the only one of the remaining group who wouldn’t readily accept pinning Ouma down as a villain. If anything, it’s the opposite- Saihara fought to clear Ouma’s name, and never stopped trying to understand whether or not his intentions were true or false

i’ll just drop this screenshot here (that i named THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY.png in case you were wondering)

this is what I mean when I say he wouldn’t accept it as fast as the others and would second-guess it, bear in mind this is the moment Ouma “admitted” to being the mastermind. and it’s not like this doubt was sudden or anything, cause I can recall this moment (that I actually didn’t catch on to on my first playthrough)

which gives me the idea that hadn’t Ouma purposefully messed with everyone and built up his bad reputation, it would’ve been so much easier for Saihara to disprove him being the mastermind at the point he said it. 

Anyway, going back to my point- excluding Kaito (cause Ouma directly told him), Saihara is the first to bring up Ouma’s innocence, and this is what I mean when I say Saihara believed in Ouma

note that I say believed in. believing Ouma and believing in Ouma are different, it’s like how loving someone and being in love with someone are two different things, so don’t argue that by saying “he didn’t trust him” because ik that and that’s not what I’m trying to say.

but he did believe that Ouma had his reasons, and he tried to discover and understand them. I mean, take this for example

he’s already on board lool look at him go, but no really look at the confidence

he’s both confident in himself and in Ouma not lying here, then goes back to being curious about his intentions

oh and let’s not forget who it was that searched Ouma’s lab to find clues to prove he is a remnant of despair. Why do you need to search for evidence for something you (and the others even more) think is irrefutably true? the answer is obvious- he was doubtful of it from the start, and needed evidence to convince himself it was true, but then as he found nothing to prove it (and even evidence against it), he had to convince the others of it too- and prove Ouma’s innocence

(the last screenshot was from Hikkie’s playthrough on Youtube) 

But as you can see, he’s clearing Ouma’s name as the leader of the Remnants of Despair. 

Now, I bet someone would argue that this only proves Saihara was determined to find the truth in general, because he’s mister detective, so I’ll raise you the fact that Saihara didn’t need to try figuring why Ouma does the things he does- he could leave it at just knowing the truth and if he really didn’t like Ouma like people say then there’s not much merit to it. 

“So what if I know this now? I didn’t care about him, it’s pointless” he could’ve thought something like that, but no

(I also think the “you’re lying again kokichi, there’s a method to your madness” moment fits here too)

Not only this, but there’s also how Saihara learnt from him.

honestly im still kinda mindblown from this ever since I first realised it, but when you think about it, Ouma hinted to Saihara in his FTEs how to win the game.

(those 3 screenshots are from justonegamr’s kokichi’s FTE video; random fun fact this was the playthrough that i watched while first getting into drv3)

But if you think about it, Ouma tried this again in his own trial in his attempt at ending the killing game and then Saihara also used this to actually end it

Not only that (which personally i think is pretty powerful in itself), but Saihara also tries to take Ouma seriously and picks up hints he leaves and uses them later

as well as

et

(and generally just)

generally, Ouma will hint and then Saihara will pick it up. it’s been like that for the whole game- why should Saihara give any extra thought to what Ouma hints if he dislikes him?? really, he could’ve just ignored him the same way he did at the end of chapter 4- but again, he didn’t “”hate”” Ouma enough to keep ignoring him, he considered him a friend in the end anyway.

and the end is what I’ll talk about now, too.

first- can we just acknowledge this?

he doesn’t ignore Ouma at all here. even though he didn’t trust him, he was sad to have lost him. 

Not to mention the way he thinks about lying at the end of Chapter 6. (like, please this is just-  *chefs kiss*)

IMAGINE Ouma was alive to hear him say that omg but Saihara could (and probably would) extend what he says here to Ouma himself- y’know, the ‘embodiment of lies’

by thinking about lies in a different angle instead of at face value like this, he gets a more neutral view on them rather than just thinking “they’re bad!!”, why wouldn’t he be able to do the same for Ouma? especially now that he knows Ouma was innocent and actually hated the game as much as they all did. I mean hey, even after chapter 5′s trial he sort of already thinks about lies differently

and throughout this post, I’ve tried to avoid talking about his free time events or his salmon mode ending because people always say “well they’re not canon” and to that I say not canon to the plot, yes, but still canon to the characters. so yeah, I don’t disregard any of them.

from this point onwards these all technically happen before chapter 5, so it’s not entirely relevant to my point that saihara still liked ouma even after the end of chapter 4, but it’s still something that shows he liked him beforehand at least. I mainly just wanna ramble though haha

one thing I’ve always thought was interesting was how Saihara easily lashed out at Kaito in his own free time event

and Kaito is undeniably Saihara’s best friend who he holds in high regard. If Saihara having backbone means he doesn’t like someone then damn bye bye momota have a nice trip in space

in terms of ouma and saihara though 

how about the fact that Saihara willingly sat there and played rock paper scissors (janken pon!) with Ouma 100 times?? bruh I got bored playing that with my brother after 8 rounds yesterday how would Saihara manage 100?? would you really have the patience for that when you don’t even like the person you’re playing with?

how about his third free time event too?

(from justonegamr’s kokichi fte video)

Saihara wanted to spend some time with Ouma, that’s- its literally written there I don’t know what you want from me the guy wanted a nice time with someone he supposedly doesnt like

what I love about this is how “reaching out” could be taken both literally and figuratively. Wanting to understand someone and trying to find a way to but them being too unwilling to trust anyone.. damn 😔👊 also shuuichi either wanted to handshake or hold hands, what else do you do when you reach for someone’s hand come on

oh yes and how about that he’s content with the refusal because it allowed him to figure out a small thing about Ouma? understanding that Ouma has a different way of being reached out to? mhm please think about that for a bit

that parallel in the salmon ending too...

he considered how it’ll be like with him after they get out and how he’ll learn about him, then ultimately decided when ouma reached out to him that he does want this, and even comments on the warmth of his hand... afhskfdlj

his blush when ouma mentions how his lies didn’t bore saihara was also a very cute moment

ooh and what about the love hotel???

there’s that one line “I know i’m meant to be Kokichi’s ideal in this fantasy but when he tells me he loves me I feel like he means the opposite” or something like that- i’d argue it’s because he’s cautious of Ouma for one but also am I getting something wrong here or is he talking about how he, Shuuichi, thinks Ouma doesn’t like him?  because I see people argue this is proof saihara doesn’t like ouma but all he’s really doing is just doubting ouma loves him

well in any case

WHY would he want him to stay in a love hotel of all places if he disliked him?! I know I’m just a broken record at this point but I can’t think of anything logical for it. they didnt even need to include that line in the scene at all but they did like they could’ve easily said something to do with realising where he was instead but nah. even after the event’s over, he says to himself

doesn’t he sound disappointed by it? and the fact that he even questions if it was a dream- okay  

ooh, something i’ve realised while writing this as well: it kind of seems like Saihara might not want to like him but does anyway; he quickly ‘smothered the thought’ of staying with Kokichi, didn’t want to admit that Ouma’s lies never bored him, and I also thought about how in one of Kaito’s free time events he says to himself “I shouldn’t be talking about another boy like that”- well, maybe it’s similar for how he thinks of ouma? it’s not like Saihara didn’t care for the others’ opinion on him (probably the opposite ngl if you mess up in class trials he says something along the lines of“Ah I screwed up! They probably think I’m a fraud”) and considering nobody else liked ouma (except for maybe gonta) I wouldn’t be surprised if he felt shame for liking him, thus repressing that feeling (especially around the others, there’s that part in trial 4 where he’s trying to convince kaito he isn’t siding with ouma cause he knows by doing that could damage his friendship with his bro)

I mean this is something I only thought of just now, but it could be plausible (i hope?)

One last thing- I find it incredibly funny how in chapter 2 when ouma is literally on top of saihara he doesn’t freak out or scream and everyone else in the room is also completely chill with it and unquestioning. no really they’re just standing there.. and how long was ouma even in that position for??

Now, I think that’s all. So to finish off, I’ll just say

People get the idea that saiouma is bad because some don’t realise Saihara can still like a person without idolising or putting them on a pedestal. Idk if this is gonna sound controversial or not, but I honestly do think he did exactly that to Kaito and Kaede- which doesn’t make what they have with him toxic or bad at all, I just think his view on Ouma is a lot more realistic and less clouded. Heck, if Saihara canonically liked Ouma as much as he does with the other two I don’t know if I’d ship saiouma as hard as I do (it is fun to imagine though).

If you actually read through this then.. wow? I’m surprised you got through this unstructured mess? I hope you can agree with me for some of my points at least but I’m not here to convince you or anything, this has just been on my mind for weeks now I needed to get it out somehow.

I said it at the start and i’ll say it again now too- i didn’t intend on attacking or comparing saiou to any other ships so I do apologise if I seem like it, i’m just terrible with my wording (lmk if something genuinely offended you, i’ll probably change it) but you’re free to ship whatever you like cause at the end of the day it’s just a bit of fun. that being said, I don’t want to actually argue on this so please don’t haha, i’ve contemplated just deleting this but I’ve put a lot of effort into this post even though i cant analyse for 💩

I hope you can enjoy the rest of your day!

have the kokichi gaygun as a farewell present

[liquidstar]

hi i saw your post bout pro ship going around and Im?? I mean you deleted it so I guess that means u changed ur mind (i also read ur other asks so I know ur not One of Those)

i just find it so weird that pro ship is associated with pedophilia bc like..I always thought it meant "idc if u ship stucky or stony go ship whatever u want"! but now this whole thing reminds me of steven universe fans making an artist depressed for drawing a character thinner or lighter and bc of that i find myself siding with Pro-ship rather than those... but I just wish people dont think pro ship meant oh! i support incest and lolicon ://

as someone in the spectrum this whole discourse is especially so difficult. i also dont want to get "cancelled" when i say Pro-ship (the one with the meaning i believe in) is good bc I really dont want drama at all, but the term that I thought that should he positive and drama free IS the drama itself. ugh. sorry for the rant.

but anyways that post you deleted about hitting people with car is :/ yikes. it just gives me Toxic Fandom vibes, death threats arent cool no matter who it is. im glad you deleted it! posts similar to that are the reason why I feel like "pro ship" looks less toxic tbh even if I dont have any problematic ships and I dont approve of them either.

sorry if this ask is long! I just type this way when im thinking of a lot of things!

anon.... i deleted the post bc i was sick of getting pedo apologists writing essays in my notes about why jacking off to child porn is actually ok and healthy and getting harassment from them. yeah, surprise surprise, the people who defend cp harass people and only use the "harassment" thing as a way to create a weird strawman character to gain the moral highground. but it was the "pro shippers" who just a few months back harassed a voice actor with images of cp because they said they were uncomfortable with it because of their trauma. clearly though theyre the good guys who want safety in fandom spaces, right anon?

i stand by everything i said 100% and if you cant understand why youre either ignorant or lack critical thinking completely based on the way you just assume that Obviously i must have come around to the "pro ship" way despite its links to pedo apologism. if the fine line between you and someone who jacks off to lolicon hentai is so thin you need to distinguish between it every time you talk about it theres a problem. there is no "good version" of it, its just a foot-in-the-door tactic to make you slowly become more OK with their batshit logic over time. its intentionally designed that way. of-fucking-course people associate "pro-ship" with pedophilic content, you yourself literally had to distinguish between those parts of the "community" and i feel like i need to remind you that the whole "pro-ship" thing came side-by-side with MAPs but was later watered down to seem more friendly and welcoming, to trick people into thinking its just a friendly fandom place.

as if you cant be against harassment or bad faith media criticism without being "pro ship". similarly you can be against pedophilic content w/o being an "anti" and i dont consider myself one bc thats a huge strawman caricature, even you yourself used phrasing in that regard lol, i guess im not "one of those" because im not someone with weird "us-vs-them" groupthink. but that being said im obviously against the community that welcomes people who blindly support cp based on an all-or-nothing mentality and borderline cultlike tactics built into it, ones that youre playing straight into. if you have good intent get the fuck out of there while you still can and start examining yourself more. and get the fuck out of your own head with this fear of being "canceled"

idk which post you read that you took that away that i "changed my mind" but go read these instead instead of projecting what you must think is the "correct opinion" onto me

[deservedgrace]

do you have any advice for staying positive as a closeted teen atheist? my parents are the strictest catholics ever and i feel like i have to hide so much from them. they make me go to church twice a week, say prayers every morning and night and before meals, and they ever put me into a catholic homeschool with a racist and sexist history class. I'm so tired of pretending to be someone im not all the time. im also a girl who likes girls which makes it worse. sorry this is long and rant-y lol

Hi there! Apologies for taking a bit to respond, I wanted to make sure I responded fully♡

Absolutely no need to apologize! Being an atheist in a catholic environment is immensely difficult, doubly so when you're not straight, and I'm so glad you decided to reach out♡

Full disclosure: I know this isn't what you're asking but I can't say that I have the best advice regarding hiding all this from your parents. I came out as gay and an atheist way before I expected to because hiding yourself like that is so exhausting. Luckily it worked out alright for me but I don't know your situation and would never ever suggest coming out before you're ready or it's safe to. I will say though, getting to the point where you don't have to hide is so freeing, and I'm so looking forward to when you're able to do that. And I'd say looking forward to that might be a way to stay positive.

Some other suggestions for staying positive:

- Have some people you can be yourself around, either in person or online. I'm positive you're well aware of how exhausting hiding is. Having some people you can be yourself around can help alleviate that a bit. You can 100% chat or vent or whatever with me via messenger here and I'm positive a lot of us here would be happy to as well (I won't tag anyone for this specifically without their permission but there are so many lovely people in this little corner of tumblr)

- I recommend following some of us here in religious trauma city dot tumblr dot com! This is defff not an exhaustive list but I rb from these folks a lot: @speakingwhentheworldsleeps @dustycathedral @dumpsterprophet @youareyourown @he-of-little-faith @dontcallm3ang3l @musings-of-a-prodigal @altarfall

Along with this I'd suggest following a variety of blog types. E.g., I have a lot of trauma process-y stuff going on on my blog, but others might be more uplifting and positive

- Surround yourself with affirming content as much as you can. I'd honestly suggest following some queer affirming Christian blogs here (@blessedarethebinarybreakers specifically comes to mind). It could definitely just be me but the knowledge that there were affirming Christians helped soo much while in an unaffirming environment.

- Self care is soo important too, and being intentional about it can make a huge difference in its effectiveness. I'll drop a couple suggestions but self care looks different for everyone, and basically anything that helps you cope or rejuvenates you or helps you feel better & doesn't hurt anyone (including yourself!) is wonderful.

A couple common things include self soothing activities (making a warm cup of tea, wrapping up in a warm blanket, bath, etc.) or meditation (esp if prayer has been helpful in the past, meditation can be a nice alternative as it hits the same parts of the brain!) or doing things that brings you joy (do you play/listen to music? do you draw? like to read? like to watch movies? anything that brings you joy!)

- Again this might be specific to me, but consuming atheist content on YouTube was super super helpful, especially because a lot of these people were religious previously and just kinda get it. The top ones I'd suggest are Jimmy Snow, Telltale, and Paulogia

- If you're struggling with religious trauma, that will likely affect your ability to stay positive. I'll add a post with some resources from @dustycathedral (thank you for this post btw!) at the end. Finding posts here, making your own, venting to those of us that get it, and crying a lot (lol) are a few things that might help you process that trauma if that's something you need to do.

- I guess I'd just like to leave you with: you're not alone, this isn't forever, and you will find freedom and contentment in it one day. This isn't easy but you have people on your side and we're all rooting for you♡

Religious trauma resources:

[soundofseventeen]

13 Days of Christmas (Xu Minghao)

I’m almost done.

Word count: 2268

“Did he see me?” You asked ducking behind the curtains.

“If he did, he would’ve been knocking on your front door already,” Chan said nonchalantly. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re so fucking weird?”

“He has a dog, Chan! And he’s the cutest thing ever!” “Are you talking about Minghao hyung or his dog?” 

“Shouldn’t you be at home?” “Shouldn’t you stop taking pictures of my friends?” He brought the baseball cap he was wearing down to his eyes. “Seriously, I’m getting tired of you falling in love with them.”

“I’m not in love with any of your friends!”

“Let’s see...there was Cheol hyung at the coffee shop, Mingyu and Jihoon hyungdeul at the gym, Jun hyung at the park...and my personal favorite Soonyoung hyung at that restaurant.”

“That one wasn’t intentional!” you pointed your finger at him “You know I was meeting Wonwoo there!”

“So you say.” He shrugged, looking for his jacket to put it on. “Listen, as much I don’t enjoy spying on my friends with you, I have to go meet Vernon and talk to him about a show coming up...no you can’t come to either.”

“I wasn’t asking to go.”

“You can’t either way so ‘bye! I’ll text you later.”

You rolled your eyes. You loved Chan but he liked to blow things out of proportion from time to time. He had very attractive friends, yes, but you didn’t care for following them around town and hoping they’d notice you. Yes, Seoul was big but he wasn’t exactly the shy type….he had 12 other friends that he constantly like to spend time with….at the same time. You could barely handle four people at once for a couple of hours but hey you respected him. But that wasn’t the point.

You could name one attractive thing from the oldest to the one barely older than him but he wouldn’t really listen to that. But there was something about Minghao that kept you on your toes. You couldn’t exactly figure out why he stuck out like a sore thumb. He had the iconic resting bitch face made you afraid to approach him in the past, even when he had the cotton candy looking hair thing going on. You talked to him the least and admired him from afar the most. He also had this thing where he ruined your ego by rejecting someone else. As in, someone else confessed they had a crush on him and he said he wasn’t interested and to think about other things besides him. (As if he was some kpop idol.)

And then, he seemed a little friendlier when he got a dog. It wasn’t a big change but it was enough for you to say hi to him...and take pictures of the dog when Minghao wasn’t looking. But as always,  Chan caught you at the wrong time and made his own assumption. Well, he wasn’t wrong but you wanted to play it cool...or as cool as you could manage. 

You waited a few more minutes until you were sure that Chan was gone, so you could leave to do your grocery shopping for the week. The cold weather often made it impossible for you to get things done but with the holidays approaching faster and faster, you wanted to have your fridge and cabinets stocked with food in case someone in your family dropped by to surprise you or in the unlikely event that you’d be snowed in. You knew you had enough nonperishable food to last you to the New Year...even to Valentine’s Day, but you didn’t like being at home with nothing to do, so you threw your jacket on, transferred money out of your savings and headed straight for the supermarket, not quite sure what you were gonna buy.

*

You were quite proud of yourself for everything you bought...even though you felt tired.

Well, you didn’t actually get into the spirit of buying food, (and maybe presents if you found some that you liked enough to give) until you had caffeine in your system. You loved Chan, you really did, but he somehow usually managed to drain enough energy out of your system to power an army. You stopped at the local dog cafe, since it was the closest thing to you. You’d been there a handful of times and even though you had no complaints about the coffee...the price was another story. Somehow though, being surrouded by all the furry animals made up for it. 

You sat at one of the tables after getting your drink, becoming a bystander to the outside world. You opened your backpack and pulled out your sticky notes. Though you still had time for the Chfristmas gift shopping, you wnated to be sure you had enough to make it to your next paycheck...even with what you transferred. It was noisy inside but somehow you were still able to get lost in your thoughts and what you still had to do, only coming back to reality whenever a pup scurried past by and their tail thumped on your leg.They often made you wanna have a pet of your own, but you couldn’t afford one just yet.

”Do you mind if I sit here?”

You looked up to see Minghao balancing a laptop, a book, his own cup of coffee and his newest trusty sidekick and you nodded, standing up quickly to see if there’d be any way to help him unload but he waved you off. 

“I got this. It’s just so crowded here and you were the only familiar face I saw so I thought it’d be good to ask you.”

You merely smiled at him, unsure of what to say. You’d be lying if you said you never pictured something like this would happen, but you also couldn’t deny it made the situation a little scarier. Minghao in your daydreams often stopped by quietly, and shyly put your favorite pastry on the table and he shared his earphones with you and he’d sneak peeks at you. This Minghao quickly opened his laptap and fed his dog a biscuit to keep him quiet. He didn’t bother to make conversation with you and instead flipped through the notebook and typed in whatever was written down. “I’ll be out of your hair soon. I just need to buy a few presents for people.”

“Oh, you can stay as long as you want. Im just making some payments and then I’m leaving.”

“Who could you possibly be stalking today?” He didn’t break his gaze from the laptop so you couldn’t tell if he was joking.

“I...no one. I have to do grocery shopping and maybe start buying people stuff.” You did some addition, wondering just how much you could pay this month and still have enough to spend and letting out an irritated sigh when the numbers didn’t agree with you. You completely ignored him then, focusin on the internal bargains you made with yourself until you reached a satisfactory conclusion. You tapped your fingers on your knee absently, making one more quick estimate when you felt somthing licking your hand, Alright, you momentarily forgot that it was a pet cafe so you gasped a little louder than inteded, but it was time to go anyways.

Minghao noticed this and quietly rebuked the poor pup in Chinese and turned his attention to you. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to go. I can leave.”

“I have to go anyways,” you stood up, feeling embarrassed. “I have to go make dinner and then call my mom to see how she’s doing. Plus, if I give my landlord the rent money money now, I’ll be able to spend mh next check however I please.”

He surprised you by standing up too. “No, I insist. You can stay and I’ll leave with Pandi. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

“Mingaho, it’s fine,” you assured him. “I have to go and-shit it’s cold!” The breeze that snuck in when the door opened reminded you that the holiday was here and you rushed to put your overcoat and gloves on, grateful that you left your beanie on.

“Pandi said she’s sorry...hey Y/N?”

“What?”

“I think you might need your phone for future things,” he chuckled. He picked it up and shoved it into his pocket. He took your only grocery back and walked outside with it until you were ready to join him. “I guess we can walk with Chan’s friend tonight, huh sweet girl?” He knelt to the dog’s level, and put on the small jacket he carried in his messenger bag on her and after some deliberation, a Santa hat too

You finally stepped outside as he was zipping her up and you had to contain your squeal at the adorableness. You had to admit though: seeing your intimidating crush caring for some thing as vulnerable as a pet made your heart do things. He just gave you a shy smile and offered you your bag. “Wait, are you coming with me?” The thought alone made your heart race in a way that scared you.

“Well, we live in the same area...and it’s almost dark outside...don’t you think it’d be more awkward to walk by ourselves?” He shot you a pointed look and you had  to admit that you felt silly. He was still kinda scary. “Besides, I need to talk to you.”

There it was...the chill in your bones that had nothing to do with the air. “Oh my god, please tell Chan I’m not in love with any of you and I don’t stalk any of you.”

“I was just gonna say that if you wanted to watch Pandi when I go back to China next month...Chan said you’re good at taking care of pets.” You couldn’t tell if the reddening of his cheeks came from the cold air or the acknowledgement of what you said, but you cursed Chan for making your life miserable. “The stalking thing was a joke.”

With a blush as red as his Pandi’s Santa hat, you could conclude with absolute certainty was that if you didn’t give Chan a well-deserved lump of coal...you’d defintiely be chucking one at him soon. “Oh...sorry.”

“I’m gonna regret asking this, but is that really all you and Chan talk about?”

Oh, the candidness only embarrassed you further, and you wished more than anything to have been run over by a reindeer. “Chan seems to think...I’m in love with either one of you guys or all of you. And I’m not...at all.” The attraction was another story. “He’s convinced that I know all of your schedules and have all these photos of you hidden somewhere in my room.” You shot Minghao a short glare as he opened his mouth. “And I can 100% tell you it’s bullshit.”

“So you’re really gonna deny taking pictures of me from your room?”

“They’re all of your dog, I swear!” You whined. “You just happened to come out in a few of them.”

“Y/N.”

Your gloved hand reached into your pocket to take out your phone and you threw it at him. “The code is 2605.”

“Why are you giving it to me?” He asked, sounding amused. He didn’t know what your lockscreen would be, but he had to admit that he found it endearing. (unless it’s Hao, then picture something completely different.) And the same for your wallpaper. 

“Because if I showed you, you’d think I was deleting them.”

“How do I know they’re not backed up in your laptop somewhere?” He didn’t know that you could be so funny either. No wonder Chan liked hanging out with you.

“Wait until I get home and I bring the fucking thing to you,” you muttered but he still heard you.

“Are you gonna give me gingerbread cookies and hot chocolate too?” He finally stopped stalling and went to your gallery, unsure why his heart was pounding.

“If it’s gonna shut you up, then yes.” You took his leash to take Pandi, but were surprised when he didn’t say anything. The screen was still bright enough for you to catch the glare reflecting off his glasses as he casually swiped through them. He finally nodded approvingly and he handed it back to you, but let you keep the leash. “Proof enough?”

“I mean, I’m still not convinced. I might have to see your laptop too. Plus you promised me cookies.” He was a little bummed that he found a whopping total of three pictures he was included in when it came to his pet, and that was including the one where it was only his shoe. 

Minghao had always found you cute, but when Lee Chan started the crazy rumors of you being a stalker, he was skeptical, especially how you managed to show up a lot of the time after he pointed it out. Coincidence? Or something else? 

“You...are...infuriating.” You shook your head. Maybe this would make your crush go away.

“Are they homemade?” He remembered that Chan said you baked for fun from time to time.

“You’re not getting any.”

“I guess I’ma have to tell my friends you’re a stalker.”

Yep, walking home as the stars came out and with the wind blowing the pine scent in every direction, your crush on him was slowly fading. 

He gave you a small smile followed by a giggle and gently ruffled the beanie on your head. “You’re funny.”

Or not.

[dykedteach]

okay here we go, episode 2 second watch

(I think this is my longest liveblog I’ve done, but then again I feel like this is the most emotional a tv episode has made me since I finished Black Sails so like?)

so uhhh they’re really gonna hide all the valuable people in the crypts huh, they’re really following through on that

“women and children first” to DIE??? I M EAN

i’ve been thinking about this non stop since i first watched the ep and my growing dread is nigh unstoppable, if i had any doubts that the winterfell dead might rise, their whole repeated thing of “everyone will be safe down there” shot them straight down

i’m lowkey annoyed we missed out on what would have been an incredibly awkward introduction scene between jaime and literally everyone, but i’m glad his “trial” didn’t drag out

i want sam’s opinion on dany’s bloodthirst vis a vis avenging her father BC LIKE????

“i’d do it all again” honey be QUIET 

L O Y A L T  Y 

loyalty

l      o   yal     t e  a

lmao daenerys’ look of anger and disgust at brienne hopping to jaime’s defense alone makes me want her dead tbh

sansa being a better strategist, ruler, negotiator, and peacekeeper than both of her parents combined, is my weakness tbh

also He R  aRmOuR drESs !!!!! what a LOOK! 

d: “what does the warden of the north say about it?” j: [has dissociated solidly through the past six hours, is only now just realising it’s daylight and he’s in the great hall] uhhhhhhhhhhhh cool i guess?

tyrion finally breathing after daenerys lets jaime live is ridiculously endearing, i love the brothers’ relationship so much

baeworm death-glaring jaime is also ridiculously endearing tbh

i dig the gendarya love theme, i do i do i do

everyone keeps saying that the fact they had sex means one of them will die next ep but honestly? out of all the non jonerys pairings (missandei/greyworm, sam/gilly, jaime/brienne) i think they’re most likely to live through the battle, and the fact they have their own theme makes me doubt as well that they’ll end next episode

that poor guy who got in the way of arya and gendry’s dragonglass throwing foreplay, so close yikes

i can’t believe that out of everyone who bran has been weird to, jaime was the one to take his weird shit best

“how do you know there is an afterwards?”           sd;kjlas

djkasljdak;lsd

                        asjd;lsakdla;sd

        bran

                               bran stop

   please be fuckin w us bran

this brotherly love scene is great and it hurts me to think it might be their last solo scene

although the way they keep talking about how sure they are they’ll die....idk? and with bronn on the way with his crossbow? to have both, or either, die at winterfell with the battle seems a waste. plus, one of them needs to be the valonqar so?

i’d be satisfied seeing a dead tyrion rip cersei apart though, i’ll admit that

JAIME GAZING AT BRIENNE INSTEAD OF LISTENING TO HIS BROTHER

pod has come so far in his fighting i love him so much i love brienne’s proud mama expression hes. he’s 100% going to die. for sure. 

“we have never had a conversation that’s lasted this long without you insulting me, not once” KJASDKLASJDKALSJDALKSD 

“i came to winterfell because...” Y OU LOVE HER DUMBASS

i still ship jorah with dany more than jon, fight me

i love the confirmation that all the bad blood between them is under the bridge, i love that he convinced her to make peace with tyrion and sansa, i love that he’s made peace with tyrion taking up his position, made peace with his house, with his relationship with his father...........

he’s absolutely toast and i hate it.

he’s going to die for dany with one last “khaleesi” and it’s going to break my heart

“we have other things in common” yeah you both have jon in your immediate family trees lmao

i’m confused by the “someone taller” comment, who’s she talking about? everyone else hurt her or betrayed her at some point. is it barristan? is it baeworm? it should be baeworm

ok so. i don’t need or want sansa to end up with anyone. 

that said

if it had to be a man

my heart almost jumped out of my chest when she and theon hugged, i didn’t expect her to get this emotional at all, shit i didn’t expect MYSELF to get this emotional

HER TEARS

THEY BOTH NEED HUGS IM GLAD THEY GET HUGS

soup dad can’t die i forbid it

let’s talk about gilly for a second, how far she’s come, from a scared abused girl to a strong, caring, confident woman and mother, i’m so emotional please protect her

DAVOS ADOPTING CHILDREN LEFT RIGHT AND CENTRE

THE SHIREEN THEME PLAYING OVER THAT BIT IM ASJDKASDJ

i’m super surprised edd and beric survived the hearth, i thought there would be more of a fight there

LITTLE CROW

i know people crack ship them, but like, they’d almost be better suited than jon and daenerys

while i adore the idea of theon making amends for taking winterfell from bran by defending winterfell and protecting bran from the night king, i know in my heart that all it’s going to result in is a very dead theon (and probably a dead bran)

why do i feel like while well intentioned, having dragons near the godswood is.....a mistake

i’d love for bran and tyrion to both survive, i’d love to see them talk more as equals because they’re so similar intellectually (i know they had scenes when bran was a kid, but that doesn’t count)

missandei and greyworm are too good and pure for this earth, i want them to leave, i want them to go to naath and never come back, i want them to find a little house by the water and eat fruits and find missandei’s family and take in some stray children, some street cats to lay lazily on the stones of their porch, maybe missandei teaches the children of their village every morning under the rising sun, maybe greyworm becomes a tradesman, makes shoes or ale or binds books for the locals, they grow old and content together and the children they took into their home, now grown adults with their own children, bury them side by side underneath carved stones, i want them more than almost anyone to have a happy ever after because if anyone deserves it it’s those two

but there are dreams that cannot be

and greyworm is almost certain to die next episode

maybe missandei too, but i’m not sure

until then, i will live in my fantasy.

i love my nights watch boys, i love that they talk about grenn and pyp, i miss those lads

sam being the playful, banter-full, confident guy he is, i love him so much i’m so happy for him he better fucking survive (and maybe become lord of horn hill who knows? he has a wife and a son so ? 

honestly the idea of tywin knowing jaime and tyrion are defending winterfell is so wonderful

ha ha h ah ah  ah h a i love tyrion and jaime so much that i. i forget. temporarily. about tyrion’s first wife

brienne stopping pod from drinking and then tyrion just.......fuckin pouring a large one out for the lad

please, let him drink, it’ll be his last

davos is such an old man i love him

jaime looking between brienne and tormund with amusement is the best thing ever

davos’ concern over ten year old tormund hopping into bed with a giant is incredible. dad mode. always on dad mode.

hound’s not gonna die yet, not until cleganebowl, he’s safe next ep for sure. so he’s allowed to be a grumpy old git for a bit

beric is straight up gonna die tho

“might as well be at a bloody wedding” g o d i dont like that foreshadowing

beric is so cheery and amicable im gonna miss him

i’m so glad that they gave arya agency, and a sweet, un-sexploited, in-character sex scene, there’s so few really good sex scenes in this show and i’m glad she got one of them

(no matter how long i spent the first time around watching through my fingers and cringing, i KNOW she’s an adult and maisie is an adult but god she’s still such a kid in my eyes)

as soon as the gloves started coming off i screamed

he is a sweet sweet boy and i wouldn’t want my murdering badass fave to be with anyone else

i appreciate them showing her scars as part of it, i can’t quite put my finger on why but it was nice to see that

i feel like once i get over the weirdness of like, “hey that’s arya”, it’s probably one of the hotter sex scenes in the series? just for passion and use of consent and stuff

i can’t even begin to elaborate on how perfect brienne’s scene is

it’s immediately one of my favourite scenes in the whole show, i honestly don’t have the words

it’s better than any marriage vows that have been taken in the whole series, and to see brienne proud and happy is just...incredible.

the mormont scene i wanted!!!

this is such a touching scene between two of my faves, i want jorah and sam to be pals forever but i know its just....not happening

the fact that sam starts in the crypt but i know he ends up on the battlefield is....concerning to say the least

god. that song. that song is everything

im too in my feelings to care about jonerys, sorry

i can genuinely believe that jon loves her, and doesn’t care about the iron throne or any titles really for that matter. but the other way around? i’m not so sure.

ok so my survival list: dany, jon, sansa, tyrion

everyone else is at risk please pray for me

oh also i bought the download of Jenny and already cried to it three times this evening, so the credits are making it a round four

[serenity-songbird]

Serenity ! Hiii :D

I was wondering what ur pronouns were actually?

If ur comfortable sharing that of course !!

Hi!!! 😊😊😊

I go by the pronouns she/her.

Thank you for asking. 💜💜💜

Your question had me reminiscing of the past for some reason. It also made me realize that I haven't really talked about myself that much. So here's a little more about me and how Serenity came to be. Read below if you'd like.

(I kind of also started ranting about some frustrations I had/still have about my identity and sexuality. Sorry. 😅😅😅 But hopefully it'll help you all understand me a little more. After all, I love all of my followers and I'm very grateful for your kind words and support. So thank you).

Also, I know you were literally just asking my pronouns, but it ended up being a whole bibliography. Lol. Hope you don't mind.

Warning it is a bit long...longer than I intended.

Your question had me remembering my middle school years. Back then I was confused about who I was. I had a few different phases.

I had a goth phase, then the skater boy phase, and there was a point where I didn't know if I even identified as a boy or a girl. For a while I felt that. I even started to hate the color pink.

It wasn't until I graduated high school and discovered my love for fasion and interior design that I finally discovered who I was.

I love to create things. Now I draw different outfits and I'm learning to sew. (I'm not great yet, but im getting better). I love to play games where I can create a house or building or really anything.

I guess I've become a bit of a "girly girl" who loves dresses and heels. (But I wouldn't call myself a lady. I eat like a slob and will burp without caring if anyone hears. 🤐🤐🤐). I also can be considered as a bit of a "tom boy." I like to play rough and don't mind getting dirty. I literally will walk in the rain and don't care if I get wet or my feet get muddy. I love to skateboard. (But it broke before I moved so I currently don't have one. 😭😭😭). Some of the things I do are "a thing only guys do" as my mother would say. 🙄🙄🙄

I don't really like to label anything as "a girl/boy activity or manner." But I just used those labels here to kind of explain my personality. That's why I put the quotation marks around the labels.

My mom as well as society was pretty intent on trying to shape me into what they wanted me to be back then. Polite, well-mannered, and a pretty perfect straight girl. So imagine their reaction when I dated my first girlfriend and said I was Pansexual. 😖😖😖 Yesh.

I think that's why I was so confused back then. Because all the activities that society labeled as girly or boyish screwed up by mind. That's why I thought I might be a boy. Because I liked a lot of "boyish" games, activities, or manners.

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about who I am...But I'm slowly getting better and happier!!!

So here are a few hobbies and talents I have or want to get better at:👇

I love to write stories, poems, songs, etc. I love to sing (though because I haven't sung in a while, I'm not as good as I used to be. But that's okay). I miss when I used to play guitar, flute, and piano. But one day when I get the money, I will buy myself new instruments. Might even learn to play violin if I ever get the chance. I love to act and still remember all the musicals and plays I was part of. Maybe I can do that one day too. (Not professionally though because I'd be too terrified to do it in front of more than 100 people. 😱😱😱) I love sewing, drawing, and designing, as previously mentioned.

Some fears: I have terrible social anxiety. On the I internet no one can see my face and I can actually take time to reply or answer questions. But face-to-face public!!! 😵😵😵 Scary... I have a fear of rats and mice...when I was younger I watched some big ugly rats eating this dead cat they either killed or found...*Shivers in disgust* Traumatized for life. Cockaroaches are scary too. When I would visit family in Puerto Rico when I was younger, a flying cockroach flew into my hair and got stuck. It scared the hell out of me. I'm always anxious. It's kind of like Tweek, but toned down just a smidge.

Some quirks or stims that I have: I'm definitely an airhead...Always day dreaming with my head in the clouds. Also, find myself tuning out of conversations and I have to snap back into focus. 😖😖😖 Can't stay still. Always bouncing a leg, tapping my fingers on the table, or fiddling with something. I randomly run, bounce, or jump literally scaring the shit out of my friends and family. I don't know why I do it. I just can random bursts of energy. Kind of like a bunny doing a binky. I talk to myself sometimes about what I'm doing, going to do, or when I'm daydreaming and lost in another world. I'm not crazy...Promise. 🤐🤐🤐 I can get awkward sometimes...when I don't know what to say next during conversations, so I have a tendency to spit out the first thing in My mind...It is always something completely different than what the person and I were talking about previously. And it is completely random and sometimes weird and it throws people off guard...sorry... Still, I'm a bit goofy, silly, and loud and I'm proud of it!!!

Well, there you have it. That's all I can think of to share.

I know this answer was long as hell. Lol. 😅😅😅But for some reason it just started pouring out.

...

Welp, that's all folks. Thank for listening to my Ted Talk!!!

~Here's your daily dose of love.~ 😘😘😘

[dateamonster]

Jules and Aiden for the oc meme you just reblogged? :>

nice aight im gonna start with this nervous little punk boy

Full Name: Julian McKinley

Gender and Sexuality: bi boyyy

Pronouns: he/him

Ethnicity/Species: mixed, sephardic jewish + irish

Birthplace and Birthdate: born in pennsylvania in september 1978 (17 yrs old)

Guilty Pleasures: greasy food, sleeping until noon, usual teen stuff tbh he doesnt actually feel that guilty about it

Phobias: spiders and general creepy crawlies, needles

What They Would Be Famous For: ideally, starting a super cool band but more realistically, riding a shopping cart over the edge of a multistory car park and living

What They Would Get Arrested For: see above, or else some other kind of tomfoolery

OC You Ship Them With: WILL

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: i feel like his biggest danger is probably himself

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: he’s a comic book nerd, loves superheroes and scifi-action

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: honestly this guy eats up cliches with a spoon

Talents and/or Powers: reckless passion, can play the piano a little bit, a deep and powerful compassion that makes him likeable to those around despite bein kind of a doofus

Why Someone Might Love Them: he’s pure lovable goof material. he’s not always the brightest bulb but he always only wants the best for people around him. he’s enthusiastic about the stuff he loves and does his best to spread that enthusiasm around. he’s a 110% kinda dude and i cherish him.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: he’s definitely a dumbass sometimes, and his ignorance and occasionally naivete gets him and the people around him in trouble. he’s prone to align himself with the wrong sides and the wrong people because he wants to see the best in them. he’s also, ya know, a teenage boy. he makes mistakes and doesn’t always know how to fix them. his carelessness could def rub someone the wrong way.

How They Change: gettin involved in the baker family’s shenanigans forces him out of his sort-of suburban understanding of the world and he’s forced to question a lot of stuff about himself and the people he interacts with. mostly i think he realizes that there aren’t always gonna be easy answers and sometimes no matter how good your intentions, people get hurt. part of growing up for him is learning how to deal with that fallout.

Why You Love Them: he’s a dork and a devoted friend and even though he makes mistakes and fucks things up at his heart jules is just this warm and wonderful kid who tries so much even when he’s wildly out of his depth.

aand now

Full Name: Aiden Eaker

Gender and Sexuality: straight...ish dude

Pronouns: he/him

Ethnicity/Species: white

Birthplace and Birthdate: pennsylvania, february 1978

Guilty Pleasures: conspiracy documentaries and watching cheesy horror movies just to point out the flaws

Phobias: bats and vermin, feeling cornered

What They Would Be Famous For: interrupting a live news report in 1999 to talk about preparing for the apocalypse while the anchor person desperately tries to make him leave

What They Would Get Arrested For: starting some kind of fight, illegally distributing some kind of conspiracy related newsletter, the two might be related somehow

OC You Ship Them With: no ships for this guy til he gets his shit together

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: becca becca becca becca becca

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: speculative nonfiction, horror-scifi if he’s just chillin

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: just anything he deems too unrealistic, though his criteria might be skewed

Talents and/or Powers: inquisitive, determined, owns a computer, and his dads a cop

Why Someone Might Love Them: he’s.. fun. entertaining. he gets better too i guess. might be relatable to cryptid enthusiasts.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: HOOO BOY. he is obnoxious, obsessive, and just plain mean sometimes. again, he’s a teenager and makes teenager mistakes. while he’s not exactly actively malicious or anything he is just a real frustrating guy.

How They Change: he does mellow out and improve as a person, thanks to jules mostly. he’s still kind of fundamentally a dick but he re assesses his shit and stops making his issues everyone else’s problem. it’s good.

Why You Love Them: like ive said, i love shitty dudes. i def have more of a love-hate relationship with this one but i dont think all characters should be 100% likeable. i think he’s a fun character even tho id probably wanna kick his ass irl. and as you can probably guess i enjoy givin him his comeuppance in-story and forcing him to get his shit together.

[spiffydolan]

97 questions tag

I was tagged by @scandalousdolan​ ♥️

Full name: Anna Marie

Nickname: anna banana, anna belle, little red (and kids in elementary school called me pc but that faded thank god haha)

Birthday: March 11th

Age: 18

Zodiac star sign: pisces

Moon sign: taurus

Ascendant: gemini

Venus: aquarius

Gender: female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: straight

Myer briggs type: INTJ-A

Relationship status: single

Best friend: my sisters

Religion: nondenominational christianity

Favorite color: i like a nice navy blue or gray

Favorite music genre: alternative/alternative rock

Favorite band/artist: mixup between LANY, Ocean Alley, Jack Johnson (like from curious george not vine), Khalid, Coldplay, Kanye West, and Kid Cudi (WHO ARE COMING OUT WITH AN ALBUM SOON AND IM FKN SHAKING)

Favorite song: this changes everyday, and today it’s ILYSB (stripped) by LANY

Favorite holiday: Thanksgiving

Favorite TV show: Dexter (at the moment), but it doesn’t get any better than the Office, Friends, and Seinfeld

Favorite youtuber: dolan twins 🤷🏻‍♀️

Favorite perfume/cologne: i don’t wear perfume tbh

Favorite season: winter or spring

Favorite flower: hydrangeas

Favorite gemstone: I don’t have a favorite, but i’ve always though onyx was kinda cool

Favorite roller coaster: don’t like roller coasters

Favorite fruit: honeydew melon oooooh or avocado

Favorite vegetable: zucchini... maybe cabbage

Favorite ice cream flavor: there’s one called razorback road that you can get from the very first walmart ever (called five and dime back then - it’s now a museum with a cafe at the end), but i also love a classic sea salt caramel

Favorite candy: reese’s holy moly

Favorite restaurant: there’s a local restaurant called Roma’s that’s so so good. It’s an Italian restaurant

Favorite fast food restaurant: chick fil a but i don’t eat there much anymore

Favorite starburst flavor: lemon

Favorite pizza topping: i don’t eat pizza

Favorite chip flavor: sea salt & vinegar

Favorite non alcoholic beverage: iced sweet tea

Favorite alcoholic beverage: i’ve never had alcohol

Favorite video game: i don’t play video games often buuuuut there’s one on the xbox called Risk and it’s a lot of fun. It’s stressful to strategize tho hahah

Favorite board game: clue maybe (i’m more of a card game person :/ )

Favorite city: (i’m assuming this means like a big/known city) for the longest time it was Chicago, buuuut it’s hands down Boston now

Favorite dog breed: any kind of big dog 😩 i freaking love golden retrievers

Favorite animal: red panda (cutest thing ever. please look it up !!)

Favorite number: I don’t have one, but 83 always comes to mind when i have to pick a random one

Coffee or tea: tea (but i freaking love coffee) (i also don’t like either of them hot. always over ice)

Vanilla or chocolate: vanilla

Leather or denim: denimmm

Short or long sleeves: short sleeves with a jacket hahah beat the system

Patterned or plaid: neither (wait would stripes be a “pattern”?? that’s not horrible)

Floral or plaid: neither but i guess floral

Black or white: white

Makeup or no makeup: makeup

Tumblr or twitter: tumblr

Facebook or snapchat or instagram: instagram

Phone or tablet or computer: laptop

Liberal or conservative: conservative

Sunrises or sunsets: sunrises

Are you vegetarian: not technically but i actually thought about it last night and i haven’t had meet in a couple of weeks lmao so i guess?? but it’s not intentional

Are you vegan: nah but maybe one day. cheese and sour cream are just too good at the moment

Are you allergic to anything: penicillin and clindamycin

Are you polyamorous: nah man

Have you been out of state: yes

Have you been out of country: yeppers

Have you kissed a boy: nah

Have you kissed a girl: nah

Have you kissed an enby: no

Have you broken a bone: nopa

Have you been to the emergency room: yes

Have you ever been high: haha no but i wish. i just wanna experience that once ya know

Have you ever been drunk: no

Have you ever been in a band or a choir: heck to the no

Have you ever catfished someone: low key being catfished by suze @tidsoptlmist

Do you have any siblings: yeesh (2 older sisters)

Do you live with your parent(s): yeah

Do you have more than 100 followers: what’s a follower?

Do you have more than 1,000 followers: i think i’m the follower...

Do you have more than 10,000 followers: i’m just one person, so there’s just one follower

Do you smoke weed: no

Do you drink: nah

Do you have a job: no

Do you own any musician/ youtuber merch: i have a t-shirt for the Revivalists, Billy Joel, Elton John, the Beatles, and Rush

Do you have any internet friends: of course

Do you play any instruments: piano and sorta the harmonica

Where did you go/are you going to college: somewhere in lil ole arkansas

College major: finance with a concentration in financial investment and management

Names of all your group chats: (there’s a lot but it’s mostly family and school so like i’m not popular or anything but here we go) party planning committee (it’s a joke from the office & it’s one of my sisters, my dad, and myself), three squirrels & madre 2.0.1 (i think this one is retired but i found it on my phone still hahah), family, sisters only, gal pals, co18, aswell’s meme dungeon, hoes, and chap city 

Tap the middle autofill button 10 times: don’t usually win or anything but you know how to

What time zone do you live in: GMT-5 (central in US)

Your best friends sign: leo

Your 2nd 3rd and 4th closest friends sign: taurus, aquarius, and cancer

Your crush’s sign: Ethan is a sagittarius, but i guess a more realistic one is aquarius

Your mom’s sign: virgo

Your dad’s sign: aquarius

Your siblings signs: leo and taurus

Your enemy’s sign: i don’t have an enemy but if i did, i sure as heck wouldn’t know their zodiac sign 😂

Your ex’s sign: i don’t have an ex, but the last guy i went on a date with (i don’t even want to call it a date but he made it one) was a libra

An ex best friends sign: leo (we’re still really good friends, but not best friends anymore hahah)

I tag: @dolanwavy @bandanadolan @justanotherdolanblog @obsidiandolans @dolanspacemendes

[wasabi-duck]

romeo - namjoon

idk how to label this because romeo and juliet is obviously Straight so like im just calling it romeo namjoon so i hope you enjoy!! again, it’s gender neutral so!!

hey people i submitted all my college apps so i think i can maybe try harder with this blog

okay so for this au!! you and namjoon are fated to be together

the kim family is really really prominent in society today

not so much political or social, but economically-speaking they’re one of the top players across the board

his family controls the shipping market, whether it be post, or air, or sea

they control it all

almost everything goes through the kim family shipping industry if it isn’t public post

and that’s just the domestic market, they also do a whole ton of international business too, and have a presence all across the globe- from china, to the usa, to germany

growing up, namjoon knew that he was going to inherit the business

his entire life his family prepped him for the business, whether it be training in how to be polite and diplomatic, to going to the most prestigious schools in the country to make sure that he was over and beyond when it came to areas like economics and maths

namjoon’s entire existence revolved around being the heir for the powerful kim business, and it was almost like he wasn’t allowed to exist

he was there for the money, the power, the glory

never for himself

he always lived in the shadow of his parents, or the business

as he got older, things got worse

because more expectations were pushed on him, and suddenly the 97 in differential equations wasn’t good enough, he needed 100

and days where he used to sit in his room, messing around with a music program on his computer… he now needs to force himself to meet anyone and everyone who might have some relation to his future in the business world, half of them who are over the age of like… seventy-two

and as he got older, things also got worse because of well…

you

well, not exactly you, but your family

your family runs the most well-known media outlet in the country

and that’s just a nice way to put it

you guys are basically the paparazzi, and although there are other, smaller groups around, none of them compare to your family

seeing as how the kims are the most influential people in the shipping business, and some of the most powerful people in the business playing field, so your basically always trailing them wherever they go

it’s never a role that you wanted to be a part of

you always wanted to be a normal kid, with a normal life

but you remember one of your first gifts being a camera, and not like a cute lil baby camera, but a nice, expensive one

and you were like anyway i was like five but…

so your entire life you’ve been told that the most important goal is to find the truth, no matter what the cost

but your family definitely stretched that a bit, and you can’t help but think they invade to many private lives just to get a story, just to find anything that will make the public go absolutely wild

because of this, you’ve run into namjoon more than a few times

never personally, and never to chit-chat, but simply because you were on the scene, your camera held in your shaking hands as you tried to snap pictures of him getting out of the airport

you kind of… think he’s cute…

but it’s not like you could ever approach him

you know his family hates your family’s guts…

and your family isn’t necessarily a fan of the kims either

your family just sticks with them for the money, there’s no idolization there, actually quite the opposite, they dislike the kims for their disillusion towards the general public

when you sit down and think about it, more of the stories your family has published have been scandalous

which you know is because the public likes that…

but also because your family wants to see them pay for their general disregard and mistreatment of the public

because the kims are notorious for having prices much too high for the average person to pay continually, and since they have a monopoly on the industry, there is no competition and no incentive to work better

and so to say that there’s some animosity between your families… would be right

but you’re drawn to namjoon

he seems different from his family

where they all appear stiff and cold, his smile could light up an entire room

you’ve never seen him speak rudely to any of the paparazzi, or the public

he handles himself so professionally, and when you have had the privilege to sit in on press conference or public business meetings… he always is polite and courteous, and always listens to what everyone else has to say

and you kinda have a lil crush on him

but you’re just the shy kid behind the camera…

so like, he’d never notice you anyway

but then…

an invitation to a party shows up on your doorstep one day

your crazy mother realizes that ah yes, a party for the most socially elite means that you can get so much dirt on people there, so she’s like haha… you gotta go

and you’re like can i not i would rather sit inside and marry leo off to selena because they are my otp,,,

and your mom is like anyway you better figure out what you’re wearing

you wanna know how the hell you got invited in the first place, but you guess because your family is socially prominent you were somehow invited too…

okay so party time

it’s at some nightclub??

your girl is underage as heck so idk what they’re about

anyway i imagine some great dance music would be playing, with the bass super boosted, like idk… everytime we touch by cascada

and the lights are all dark but they have strobe lights going i think that’s what they’re called at least

and it’s, like i said, super dark, so it’s not like you can see anyone, and you maybe forgot your camera

and like there are so many people!! no matter where you go, there are at least twenty people accidentally bumping into you and it’s all a little overwhelming, so you grab a drink (grape juice) and head over to the back corner of the club where it’s less noisy, and there are less people around to bother you,,,

finally, some peace and quiet…

you close your eyes and take a deep breath

your parents would flip if you came home early, and there’s no use being outside, alone, in the dark, when everything is closed…

so you stay put, instead rummaging around your bag to see if you can find your earbuds and phone so you can just chill by yourself

you grab onto what you assume is your earbuds, but before you can pull them out, someone bumps into you, with enough impact that you topple forward

the person, apparently startled just as much as you, loses their balances, and falls on the ground right beside you

you look up

and everything slows down

it’s the part of everytime we touch where she’s like your arms are my castle btw

you blink, your eyes unable to focus in the dim light, and when your vision finally clears, you recognize the person to be none other than kim namjoon…

you startle, quickly pulling away from him, your face red in embarrassment

namjoon frowns, clearly confused, but then a look of recognition spreads across his face and he smiles a little shyly

“i think i know you.”

you nod slowly, not taking your gaze off of him

“i think i know you too…”

he stands up, then offers you a hand, which you take gratefully

he coughs awkwardly and you put your hand on the back of your neck

“um… i’m namjoon.”

and you introduce yourself too, and you almost feel the need to apologize because you’re sure that you and your family have caused him so much trouble

but you don’t know what to say, but you stay silent, unsure of what you should do next

namjoon doesn’t say anything at first, but then he sees something on the floor, and bends over to pick it up

it’s your earbuds

he hands them over with a small smile “i had the same idea.”

“parties aren’t really my thing…” you laugh softly

“mine either.” he pauses, shoving his hands in his pockets before adding, “so if you want to… maybe head outside?”

your brows furrow

“god that probably sounded creepy, i meant, like get out of here, i know a cool little diner that’s open twenty-four hours, the coffee sucks, but the dessert is pretty great.”

you laugh and nod sheepishly “yah, that sounds nice.”

so you and namjoon dip out of the party, and head down to the cafe where you talk the entire night away

you exchange numbers too hehe

anyway, as the weeks progress, you two talk more and more, and things get a little flirtier and flirtier

and you’ve become glued to your phone, and your cousin, yoongi, is like, “anyway who’s the hot babe and do they have a brother”

and youre like “yoongi,,, plz,,, it is not like that, namjoon is just a- ooPS”

cause you had namjoon under a code name like “B)” or something awful like that and you thought that you had this all under wraps but now you just basically admitted everything to yoongi isn’t that just the greatest

“kim namjoon? like the guy our family is so intent on stalking and tarnishing his name and everything? the kim namjoon who wears beanie when it is obviously bucket hat season?? that kim namjoon?”

“um…”

“he totally has a hot cousin.”

you blink “so wait, you’re not… telling on me?”

yoongi shrugs “i don’t see why i should.”

and you smile and hug him and yoongi just laughs and ruffles your hair

yoongi is the one who covers for you when you sneak out to see namjoon

and boy howdy do you see namjoon a lot

like yoongi always drives you to meet up with him, whether it be the diner, or the park, or the city!!

and he always makes awful excuses when your family asks where you are

and namjoon’s cousin, jungkook, does the same thing for him, and the two of them often meet up and laugh about it over bitter coffee

you and namjoon are so in love though, and it’s a passionate affair, not for the cheating aspect, god no, but because everything must be done in secret

every time you press your lips to his, you’re afraid that suddenly your mother will walk around the corner and rip you away from his arms

and when you two are out and about, walking down the streets, your hold his hand so tightly, so fearful that you could be torn away from him at any second

every time you call him it’s late at night, because you’re scared that your father might accidentally stop and listen in when you’re least expecting it, and your entire world will crumble to pieces

namjoon is the same way though, extra careful, extra cautious, and he always says it, says he hates how you two have to hide your relationship just because your guys’ parents hate each other

but it’s something he’s willing to hide if it means seeing you every day, being with you every day

except that you two aren’t as careful as you should hope to be, because one day you leave your phone unlocked and it just so happens that your mother was cleaning up your room a little bit, and she picked up the phone and read the messages and realized that these gentle “i love yous” were all sent to none other than kim namjoon

and she hurries down the steps, your phone in her hand, cursing and shouting and asking you what in the hell you’re thinking

and your eyes widen in horror as you realize your mistake and you rush over to try and grab the phone from her hands, but in a fit of rage, she throws the phone down and it’s probably an awful iphone or something so the entire thing shatters in a million pieces

this of course is your breaking point, and you start to sob, begging your mother to change her mind, trying to tell her that there’s nothing wrong about this, but she doesn’t listen, instead storms off to go talk to your father

you kneel down and hold the broken phone in your hands, continuing to cry harder

yoongi, startled by the commotion, comes racing in, and when he sees you, sees the scene, everything clicks

he holds you in his arms and promising things will be okay but you know they will not

after that, your parents ban you from leaving the house

you are confined to your room, and if you want to leave your room, you have to stay within the house, even being limited to indoors, as in, like can’t even see the garden

at first, namjoon thinks you’re ignoring him or something and his heart breaks because it’s not like you to ignore him, ever

but yoongi texts jungkook who tells namjoon the situation, and from that moment on, he is planning a way to get you back

one night, it’s been like a week since the incident, you are sitting on your bed, watching psych

when you hear a faint knock

you think it must be a squirrel or something like that outside?

so you ignore it

but the noise continues

so you head over to your window, and step out into the balcony, and standing there, with a large bag slung over his shoulders, is namjoon

he waves, and you cup your hands over your mouth

“are you coming?”

“like hell i’m gonna trust you to catch me!”

you laugh, and the tears have already started to prick the corners of your eyes

he smiles softly “i love you”

“I love you too namjoon…”

and im saying the balcony isn’t super high so you’re like fxxk it and you jump and he catches you and you’re both safe and sound

and when you are safely on your feet, you lean up and kiss him and he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you close

and it feels like you kiss him for an eternity, and you want to kiss him for an eternity, but he says there’s no time, and that you two need to hurry before someone realizes something is up

he says that his friend hoseok is offering up his place for you two to stay

and with that, you two vanish into the night

obviously both sets of parents find out, and it doesn’t take them long to realize where you two are hiding

but namjoon is like nah not coming home until you recognize our love,,,

and so both parents are like our children and their happiness are most important so they are willing to make amends

you and namjoon come back home but he was digging the cute apartment vibe so he asks if you two can move out together if he still decides to manage the business in the near future

and your parents are all !! about it at first but they agree because you two are most important

and you and namjoon are happily in love and you have a cute apartment where you two snuggle and kiss all the time mwah mwah

[nayeon-sadly-owns-me]

So I read chapter two of Gold Dust By Stormymomo  and came to an understanding that I have too many thoughts about this fic to let it go to waste. Warning, this will be longer than your average “review” more like analysis and recap split into 3 parts following something about theories if I’m up for it. As someone who will probably be on her way to a master’s degree in Psychology by the time Gold Dust is finished (exaggeration, I fucking hope I swear to-) it’s in my blood to analyze this fic to its core.

I can promise 4 things:

1) There is a 100% chance that my perception of its characters and story will not be accurate due to missing details we won’t know until the future part(s). I say 100% because it will need to be updated. In fact, I could have completely come up reasonings that are completely false all together.

2) There is a 110% chance that I am looking into this story Way Too Deep and someone will have to tell me to stop taking it so seriously. (I already have one person)

3) No really its super long. If no one reads this to completion I will understand 1000%. I wrote this for me and who ever is willing to read it. I tried not to include every scene despite the fact that nearly every scene is important and Stormy just writes so fucking much.

4) There will be grammar mistakes. Im the amateur of all amateurs.

Spoilers beyond here

Chapter 1-

Story

We get the first glimpse at our main protagonist who is more like an Anti-hero through the eyes of Jeongyeon and Jackson. Nayeon is an absolute wreck. She is a train bound for riding off its tracks and off a bridge and she could care less. She rejects all forms of help and shows off how spiteful she is towards the world and I don’t think an introduction could have been written better than this.

Right off the bat we get a clear understanding of how mentally unstable she is. Between her fiery comments towards anyone who comes near her to her fucked up smirk when she lets out a comment meant to tear down Jeongyeon’s soul.

Within the first part, we already come to our first major question- what happened that made Jeongyeon so angry? We know it has to do with Nayeon’s manipulative comment “Maybe it was you” and “what they were- almost were- “but we are left with only our imagination. This ties into why I don’t think a better introduction could have been written. Not only was there physical evidence to Nayeon’s fucked up state with her being high, but also mental/emotional evidence in the form of Jeongyeon and Nayeon’s conversation. It draws you in because it gives you no answers.

Another establishment? She will do anything to escape her own personal hell that she only has herself to blame for. Especially if it means killing her from the inside out, alone.

We begin to see that tiny speck of light in explaining Nayeon’s extremely problematic traits with her conversation with JYP. Nayeon restrains herself when her father is mentioned but loses her composure when her mother is mentioned. A rooted issue that will be brought up later, but was a decent way of slyly introducing a storyline that still has yet to be fleshed out.

If there is one thing about being a good author, it’s that you have to be able to create questions that cannot be answered with a simple sentence. If you can create questions that have no immediate answers then it will leave the reader coming back for more. Stormy nails this aspect whether it was intentional or not (probs was knowing her).

Although its brief, we get a glance that Nayeon feels as broken as she keeps wanting the world to see and feel. Her conversation about how things aren’t getting better and how she had set herself up for disappointment begins a foundation for wanting to understand her more. After an engaging first scene, we are now forced to come to terms with the fact that she is not 100% the spiteful fucked up mess we were initially led to believe.

So begins Nayeon’s therapy trips at the strong encouragement from JYP that Nayeon is too smart (or too prideful) to decline.

I have to applaud Stormy on being able to capture what being a Therapist is all about. It’s not about quick fixes but playing the long game. Each patient requires a different technique that works for them. I found it intriguing to read how small talk is the tactic that is most effective on her, although it is very time consuming in the long run. Both JYP and Seungyeon used it on her with positive results as time passed. It says a lot for a girl who prides herself on being alone and how she doesn’t care about anyone around her. More on this later.

The group therapy sessions are where we meet two subtle characters, Tzuyu and Chaeyoung although its not much.

Then of course we meet Momo and things begin to spiral from there. Nayeon’s established vibe of non-caring is forcefully thrown out the window because now there is someone there who is aware of who she is. This entire section was dedicated to her thinking about how Momo could ruin her reputation. Yet, Nayeon has made every attempt to appear uncaring of those around her and what they think. The first major contradiction of her thought process, and the first real moment you can see how her insecurities make her react.

We are quickly told that Momo is basically a loner with no friends by choice. Interesting how Nayeon, acknowledges this but choices to pry over Momo’s social status instead. It’s a good indication of where her interest lie.

Momo and Nayeons first encounter is intense to say the least. Nayeon expresses her insecurity for Momo to see, the way Momo expresses her “abandonment issues and inferiority complex” by displaying it on her hand for Nayeon to read. When Momo says that Nayeon isn’t there out of insecurity it feels like she’s half right/half wrong. Nayeon isn’t there because she wants help with her insecurities, she’s there BECAUSE of how her insecurities and demons have shaped her.

They described the bare bones of each others demons with ease, and I think that was the spark that grew into the wildfire that is their relationship. You live your life not having anyone care, and then suddenly someone is there to describe you in 5-10 seconds. It no doubt created a shift in both their lives.

Nayeon’s initial physical attraction to Momo could be seen a mile away. Leave it to Sana to be a form of catalyst to bring that aspect to light. Nayeon goes from thinking she has a pretty smirk to thinking she was attractive in .02 seconds. The first signs that she has claimed Momo starts and relatively speaking ends with Sana being involved.

If there is one thing I want, Momo storytelling wise, it’s to find out her relationship with Chaeyoung/Tzuyu. She is on good enough terms to even have a nickname with Chaeyoung and even communicate with Tzuyu in a way she will understand. For any other character, this would be silly to think about. They go to group therapy together, maybe for months/years? Of course they would find something to bond over. But this is Momo. The girl who is doesn’t want friends because they always leave. Here is Chaeyoung in a sense, leaving, even if she is coming back for sessions. Momo comforts Tzuyu on the matter pretty well despite having abandonment issues that plague her.

It’s hard to come up with the right words to explain why this scene bothered me. Momo has her own habits to combat her demons, but she isn’t good about explaining it. We don’t learn much about her reasoning behind them or even what they’re from. All we know is that she has embraced the fact that she is unable to be loved, cared for, and worthy of peoples time. These are irrational thoughts that have made it hard to swallow her relationship with these two. 2 things are established: Momo always leaves first from the meetings, and Momo doesn’t allow people to get too close to her. So, when did she get time to establish such a relationship and what made her want to?

You know you’re a good author when THIS is my only nitpick. It’s question that I’ve seen barely any indication of an answer and it is by far my most anxious one. I have full faith that Stormy can answer it to satisfaction though.

Moving on. Still with me?

Momo is a tricky character to understand without context. First she avoids everyone for years and then suddenly she’s fixated on Im Nayeon. It’s too the point that she casually strolls up to her because she wants to walk with her to their group session. Momo is seeking out her company. Recall back to the scene when they were playing the ‘Guess my baggage in 5 seconds’ game. Nayeon actually took her seriously, she gave her a straight answer. Maybe the first genuine interaction Momo has had outside of the Therapist office/Group Session area in years. Momo stayed behind because she was curious about what Nayeon’s deal was, but Nayeon’s answer was what really brought out this stubborn need to know more.

Nayeon could have laughed in her face and called her a freak (She has the attitude to say worst honestly). She didn’t. In that moment, I think Momo saw Nayeon in a different light, even if for a moment.

So the school scene makes sense. Nayeon’s reaction makes sense. Because Momo was in fact half-wrong about her previous statement. Nayeon does have insecurities. She just hides them by creating dominance and showing “strength” by belittling others. It doesn’t work on Momo though. She pushes her up against the vending machine 3 times, and doesn’t get the response she wants each time. For someone who is a manipulative bitch, this eats away at her. It is easy to understand why she becomes so fixated on Momo. What works on everyone else, is apparently ineffective with her. In other words, she has lost control between them and the Im Nayeon in this fic can’t emotionally handle that.

Im appalled at myself for not being able to come up with a decent idea as to why Nayeon follows her home. She just does. Maybe she wants to grasp onto some sort of advantage that can be used later on? I thought that my first read through, I was surprised that it never came. In fact, Nayeon pretends all together that this event didn’t happen when she takes Momo home. Just goes to show that Nayeon is unpredictable.

The fact that Momo doesn’t acknowledge her really hits home that Nayeon has lost control over the situation. It’s an oddly pleasant moment to watch her struggle against not being acknowledged by Momo. Remember when she boasted to herself about not needing anyone nor caring about anyone? And then took it back by caring about her reputation, then taking that back and caring about whether or not she cares more about Momo annoying her or avoiding her? Yeah same. Nayeon’s got issues that are unfolding one after another because her sense of balance has been shifted.

We get a nice reminder that Momo is just as deep as Nayeon though when she gives her her jacket of course. Can’t have Nayeon getting sick of course.

Nayeon goes out of her way to find her. To question her on her kindness because to Im Nayeon there has to be a reason. She has (rightfully) forgotten what it feels like to have someone be kind to her. Stormy has made it very clear that Momo does in fact care if she leaves. Recalling the vending machine scene, Nayeon makes a comment about throwing her off a roof. While Momo doesn’t see it as an actual threat, she does see it as a way of Nayeon saying she doesn’t care about her. This leads to Momo trying to convince herself that she means nothing to her, leading to avoiding and yada yada.

It's so fascinating to realize that almost everything makes perfect sense when you piece it all together.

Momo’s resolve quickly dies when Nayeon needs help no matter the circumstance.

Nayeon’s calm collected appearance is shattered when she isn’t able to know for sure the person she cares about is okay. (This is something I didn’t realize would become just so important for next chapter)

We know that Nayeon has self-destructing habits, adding self-inflecting injuries becomes oddly the biggest alarm to me. Theres a real sense of panic when you realize that Nayeon will settle for inflicting pain on herself and destruction on anything she sees in order to get die down her overwhelming emotions. I felt that panic and it made me realized that somewhere along the way I started to truly care about her well-being. She’s so deeply flawed and we haven’t even gotten to her good traits yet.

If Momo’s way of showing that she doesn’t care by helping her get her phone back and saying “I’ll do anything” she has a funny way of showing it. First the jacket, then Momo coming to her rescue with her phone. Keep all this in mind.

Now we get to one of the, if not, THE biggest mystery of the story. Nayeon’s flashback/involuntary recurrent memory of drowning in water. Because of the severity of it, it is amazing that she is able to remind herself that it is not real. People who suffers from this form of trauma are often not able to focus on anything else because of survival instincts. I rationalized it as something that has occurred enough times that Nayeon has been able to adapt. It wasn’t a cheap way of creating drama down the road, and that’s why this is another part of the story that im so keen on learning about. It was excellently done.

It’s nice to get backstory before Nayeon became who she is, to remember that she wasn’t always so cold and off-putting. We are now starting to see that earlier sign of her when she offers Momo food. It’s such a simple request and yet, its monumental for her to do.

It wasn’t the greatest feeling in the world to know that Momo eats fast because she doesn’t get the privilege of eating fries very often. Hit home with me in a way that I don’t think I could speak bad about Momo even if I wanted to.

Remember when Nayeon showed Momo a bit of kindness (subtle kindness. Extremely) and then Momo wanted to walk her to the group session? Now it has become a reoccurrence. Exchanging kindness for wanting more of her company. Why? Because she just doesn’t know. It is a plausible answer. Except it does become obvious when Momo asks the golden question on if they should go back to how it use to be. Maybe her walking her home was her way of extending spending time with her one last time (for the moment).

When Nayeon says that’s what she wants, Momo accepts it for all its worth and walks away. Because Momo only wants what Nayeon wants at this point. She casted her feelings aside a long time ago.

If it isn’t clear by now, Nayeon does not have a strong grip on what she really believes and what she says. Especially when she stares at Momo nonstop and neglects her cheerleading duties only to be called out by Sana. Oh Sana. The gift that keeps on giving in this fic. By that I mean, the real reason jealous Nayeon is such a Thing.

We get to watch Momo dive into her bad habit as she runs herself exhausted because of a missed goal. Irrational thinking that leads to her thinking she messed up and needed to punish herself in some way. It’s not any better when Nayeon comes in to confuse her. An important piece of dialogue Nayeon says “In case you weren’t aware by now, I scarcely mean the things I say.” I didn’t take note of this until several read throughs later when I realized that this line is the reason Momo can’t trust anything that Nayeon says. Because Momo takes words at face value and not what they might be actually be intended as.

We now get to see Nayeon start to leave her friends in favor of Momo. Not only that, but Nayeon rids herself of her cigarette despite the fact that she was previously trying to light it as quickly as she could. It’s not just because of Momo’s off handed comment about how it doesn’t suit her (or that it makes her look like a tool) but because her alternative coping mechanism is her. Kind of a bad way to put it, but it’s the truth at least to Nayeon. From being scared of her ruining her fragile reputation to her needing Momo just to feel calm. Character development-ish.

I say ish because it goes out the window the next scene. Oh Nayeon, so careless with your words.

And then it comes back the next.

If there is something to point out about Stormy’s writing style- it’s that they thrive on repetition specifically what is important and why, so that you never forget it. Not only that, but also the push and pull game. It’s a tricky thing to write because it can become predictable and tiresome. However, if it is written correctly, it can be the most rewarding style of writing because it makes you understand the story and its characters so much more. So, this is another praise because here I am, still burning with questions on how it will end and how much I still have to look forward to.

I would also like to point out the similarities between Nayeon’s underwater flashbacks and Momo’s dream about Nayeon with everything in flames. I don’t know enough concrete evidence to back it up, just food for thought for the moment.

Nayeon has always been determined to ruin good things in her life. Taking pills just helps her do that job a little easier. Of course now, it just leads her to Momo and passing out when she gets to her. It’s hard to tell if it was for the best that Nayeon can’t recall Momo’s comment about how she isn’t waiting for anyone anymore and their discussion on how they aren’t normal.

Without a doubt the most impactful lines of this chapter are “Because she’s not you” “None of them are you.” Because it shows just how deeply Momo has fallen for Nayeon. There was enough build up for these words to hold impact and that’s what made them stand out.

I think all I can say about Jeongyeon is that there is something going on. Without context from chapter 2, it looks like Jeongyeon is just trying to look out for Momo. Granted it might just be because she thinks Momo will be magically back to normal with Nayeon gone. Putting a championship ahead of Momo’s feelings is another way of putting it. (Or maybe she doesn’t want to watch the same thing happen to her as it did Jeongyeon. Although we as the reader know that’s not the case, she doesn’t.)

Despite the repetition of: Nayeon overreacts, Momo defends, Nayeon says/does something stupid, Momo walks away- This scene of their last confrontation of the chapter still holds one of the most powerful moments of the chapter. This is the turning point of Nayeon discovering that Momo isn’t fine. That she is as messed up as she is because she doesn’t have the ability to consider herself worthy of Nayeon. A dangerous flaw because of the ticking time bomb that is Nayeon herself.

With Momo, words hold the highest power over physical touch. It’s easy to understand why Nayeon immediately turns to initiating physical proof of what can be viewed as real. However, Momo wants to hear Nayeon say what she is thinking. So when she breaks away, it makes complete sense. Because Nayeon wants to prove herself physically while Momo doesn’t view it as a good enough answer. Because physical affection can last a moment, but words stay forever when it comes to Momo. She isn’t stupid though. She realizes that Nayeon was trying to say that she wanted her. Of course she has trained herself to believe she was unlovable so well that she truly believes it now.

It’s this scene that both the main characters finally see the people that the readers have gotten to see. It is both heartbreaking and exciting. Nayeon finally realizes why Momo is who she is and its gut-wrenching to watch her come to terms with what that means.

If anything brought out Nayeon’s humane side, its her scene with her dad. It’s lighthearted, a word that hasn’t come to describe this fic yet because of the heavy tones. To watch Nayeon simply let go of her anger and spite and just talk with her dad was a moment that made the journey worth it. A writer can create a hero with flaws, a great writer can bring out the good in their character while not ignoring the bad.

The Im Nayeon that is running towards Momo in the freezing rain, is not the same Im Nayeon that got shit faced at a party. This is now a character that will do whatever is necessary to make sure her idiot is safe. The best part about this, is that it didn’t feel rushed. It all happened naturally and step-by-step.

I could write more on the shower and car scene, but that is for next part.

[peakyblinders1919]

Las Vegas

She hoped the city only looked grimy and dirty from inside the car. The car sputtering down the road caused people in rags with dirt on their faces out of the way. The houses hung low and were dark, depressing colors, a vast contrast to the colors rising back in Las Vegas, which she called home.  

“Tell me why I was forced to come here again?” She muttered to herself in the back seat, digging out her compact mirror from her bag and reapplying her pink lipstick. She meant for it to me a rhetorical question, or not really a question at all, but her driver thought otherwise.

“Your father was worried about your safety Miss.”

She scoffed, taking one last look at herself and flicking it shut, stuffing it back in her purse. “This city looks anything but safe.” She noted, watching a whore pleasure a man on the side of the road accompanied by barely audible yet distinct gunshots in the distance. Finally the car halted to a stop. Her driver got out and raced to open her door, helping her out of the car.

She stood out like a sore thumb, dressed in clothes that would have paid to feed five families. She spun around, trying to get a look at everything the place had to offer, and she could conclude that that wasn’t much. Just by the looks of it she could probably contract a disease from the populated, hazy air. “And what do they call this place?” She asked with an upturned nose.

“Birmingham Miss.”

“Right, sound’s like it looks, awful.” After a moment her driver laughed, now standing with her luggage on the side of the road uncomfortably. “Chauncey, I’ll give you 100 pounds to take me anywhere but here.” She pleaded with him.

“No can do Miss. Your fathers orders. Come on, you might find you’ll actually like it here.”

“Over my dead body.” She rolled her eyes while lighting a cigarette. She shuffled back as a kids was running down the street and a some kind of shop keeper followed them, sorting profanities. “Which might actually be the case.”

“So, is there anything fun to do around here?” She asked as she sat at the table blowing on her cup of tea to cool. She’d been in Birmingham for almost a week now and she hadn’t done anything. She was thankful for her mystery Aunt who lived there though, and her new discovered cousin. She wasn’t as bad as she thought she’d be. She didn’t give a lot of rules, just one flicker of advice; Don’t get involved with the Shelby’s.

“Why not?” She had inquired.

“They’re just like the same people you left.”

“Well I didn’t want to leave, I was forced.”

“Right, and if you dad finds out you didn’t stay away from danger, the next place he’d send you is the convent probably, so I’m just trying to help.”

So she had taken her Aunt’s advice, but she could only stay away for so long. She was starting to get bored, very bored, of the house and the two same old shops she knew of. She wanted to experience something new.

“We could go out tonight?” Her cousin suggested.

“Oh yes, yes please. I’d go anywhere.”

“There’s a pub-“

“If they have drinks, I’m there.”

“You might not like it, it’s kinda…dirty.”

“I don’t care, just get me out of here.”

A few minutes later and she was standing at the bar with a drink in hand and her cousin next to her. She slammed her freshly finished drink on the counter, calling loudly for another round. The men around her cheered and wouldn’t stop eyeing her, surely they’d never seen such a beautiful women drink like a man. She smiled in their view, finally satisfied to be at a party and the center of attention again, regardless of exactly what kind of attention it was she was receiving.

She giggled into her cousins shoulder drunkenly. “Right, my bladder’s going to explode, I’m going to the bathroom.” She said, unknowingly walking towards the private room of the Garrison. Applying pressure to the door with her shoulder she threw it open, the music from the bar filing into the quiet, smokey room. In it were three boys looking somewhat dumbstruck to see this random, beautiful girl stood in the doorway. They looked at her, waiting to hear her explanation as to why she was interrupting their night. The one of the left with cold eyes brought a cigarette to his lips and smoked it while examining her, flicking his eyes away rather quickly when he decided he didn’t want her. The boy next to him with chocolate skin smiled at her, but she didn’t smile back at him. She was looking at the one on the end with strawberry blonde hair in an interesting cut.

“Oh, uh, sorry, I was just looking for the bathroom.” She managed to finally say, making to close the door and leave but she couldn’t. Just as soon as they were out of her sight she threw the door back open. “Hi, sorry, are you guys playing poker?” She asked, unable to take her eyes off the cards on the table.

“Yeah, you know how to play?” The one in the middle asked as the one still smoking look uninterested and the other was just too shy to say anything.

“I do.”

“You any good?”

“Why don’t you find out yourself?”

He ran his tongue over his lip while looking her. “Alright, take a seat.” She squealed with excitement closing the door.

“Uh, it was Finn’s turn to deal but-“

“Oh, sure, I can.” She said with a grin, taking the cards from him. She tried doing a fancy shuffle at first, the cards going everywhere thanks to her shaky hands. The two boys tried to suppress their laughs but the quiet one watched her intently. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and tried again. This time it was effortless. She shuffled the cards and dealt them so quick the boys could barely keep up with her.

“Right so Texas Holdem, you get two cards now and then three, highest hand is a royal flush, all the same suit. Are we playing with money?” She rambled, flashing them a smile each. Their jaws were basically to the floor, never having seen a girl know so much about poker.

“Eh, we was just playing for fun.”

“So the quiet one finally speaks.” She said with a laugh, finishing dealing her own cards. “It’s not fun without money on the line though. I don’t have much, how about…” she fiddled with her purse, putting some money down, “100 pounds to play.”

“Woah, what’s a girl doing with 100 pounds around here?” The one on the left asked, finally interested.

“I’m new around here.”

“We could tell. I’m Isaiah by the way, and that’s Finn and this here’s Michael.”

“Nice to meet you boys. I’m Y/N, and stop chatting, we got a game let’s go.” She dealt out the round of cards, reading everyone’s expressions. Isaiah folded first followed by Michael when Y/N raised the bet to 200 pounds. They were egging Finn on but he didn’t have a chance.

“This is it. Never lost a game in my life.” She said confidently while flipping over the last card. “Straight flush.” There was an unanimous round of sighs then. “That means you loose if you have anything but a royal flush.”

“Well, around here my family’s kind of royalty.” Finn said, flipping his cards over to reveal he had the best hand possible. Y/N’s mouth fell as she realized she’d finally been beat at her own game. Isaiah and Michael cheered and patted him on the back as he collected the money.

“Nice one.” She finally said, extending a hand.

“You too. That was really good, you know you’re stuff.”

“Yeah well, where I’m from my family’s kinda royal too.”

“Oh yeah? What’s your name?”

“You wouldn’t know it.” She said as she found herself with Finn as the other two went to grab more drinks. “I’m not exactly from around here.”

“Right, and where’d you say you’re from?”

“I didn’t.” He just looked at her then, waiting. “I’m from Las Vegas.”

“What’re you doing all the way over here?” He asked confused.

“My dad’s starting a lot of illegal gambling dens, I guess he thought it was a bad place for me.”

“So he sent you to Birmingham?”

“Stupid, right? He wanted me to get away from violence and gangs so he sent me to the Shelby’s town.” She huffed, blowing smoke from her new cigarette. “I haven’t even seen any of them yet, just heard of them. They can’t be that bad.”

“We’re not.” Finn squeaked, causing her to look at him.

“What’d you say your last name was?”

“I didn’t. But it’s Shelby.”

“Well my dad would hate this.” She chuckled, throwing her head back. “Well, I heard right then, the Shelby’s are good looking.”

“You think I’m good looking?”

“Don’t flatter yourself just because you won one lousy poker game.”

“I bet I could beat you again.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

“All or nothing?” She asked, collecting the cards from the table and starting to shuffle them again, getting closer to Finn’s face.

“I have a better idea. How about if I win you go on a date with me.”

“And if I win?” She asked with an eyebrow raised.

“Then you could have whatever you want.”

“I want your money.”

The game lasted till the early morning when the Garrison was emptied. Finn closed up quickly, having told Y/N it was his family’s pub. She tried not to look too impressed either when she found out. She waited at the door with her hand extended. Finn counted out the money, handing it over.

“You’re right, you’re very good.”

“I know.” She said laughing. “Tough loss too.” She said, putting the money away.

“Yeah, maybe we could still go out?”

“Maybe…” She said, leaning to give him a playfully kiss on the lips, just enough for him to want more as he watched her walk into the night.

Feedback please!!

[roaringheat]

Wait so what happened to barrett, pleasE, i want to know more!

Im so happy you asked holy shit

Under a read more cause it’s just as long as the last one lmao

I really should have done this before talking about Morgan but im doing it now i guess!! So, starting over again, Barrett goes into the woods to experiment with plant photography cause Morgan likes the outdoors and Barrett wanted to gift him those plant photos as a kinda thank you for the camera thing. I also want to mention that both Barrett and Morgan are in their early to mid 20s rn. He’s wandering and taking pics along the way when suddenly he spots a big bush of pink marigolds. The kind of marigolds that are bigger and have a bunch of smaller ruffled looking petals. He’s immediately intrigued and he doesn’t know exactly why but he starts walking towards it. He’s never seen pink marigolds before and there seemed to be some kind of glow about them so because of that, he crouches down to get some close up pics. The bush suddenly lashes out, immediately grabbing hold of him and dragging him in and thorns that weren’t there before are now suddenly digging into his skin. At this point, he’s thrashing around and being pretty loud which catches the attention of someone named Muriel as she steps into view. She’s a black woman in her late 30s who could be described as a “witch” kind of but i dont really think that term suits her. She’s brandishing an axe covered in charms, got this iridescent cloak sort of outfit, has some gold lines on her face, and both her eyes are this solid dark blue. No pupils or anything. But yea she happens upon this scene cause she was out on a routine check to find and destroy things that have gotten mutated due to the “magic” she does in her house nearby. This plant in particular had basically mutated pretty far to the point where it became basically a carnivore. The reason Barrett was attracted to it so quickly was,because of the mutation, the plant could attract/lure humans and some animals within reaching distance so it could attack and eat them. Everything caused by the mutation is the “glow” Barrett saw which was actually a faint pink aura, the ability to move, and the thorns which were used kinda like venom in the way that with enough of it its supposed to kill the victim quickly so that the attacker can eat with ease. So Muriel is feeling pretty responsible for Barrett being in this position so she goes over and gets him out of there and kills the bush with her axe. The plant managed to get a bit of the venom stuff in Barrett’s system so he’s weak and kinda just passes out after getting saved. Muriel hoists him over her shoulder and takes him back to her house a little further into the woods. She genuinely feels like shit for indirectly being responsible for this so she decides to keep an eye on him til he’s ok again. Barret wakes up in a spare shitty bed in Muriel’s place in the most excruciating pain he’s ever felt all over him as if his whole body was on fire. He launches himself out of bed but just drops to the ground again basically screaming. and Muriel bursts into the room and doesn’t know what to do but she sees him on the ground in pain and then notices he now has this pink aura around him and it starts clicking into place for her. Basically with the venom from the plant, its kinda like a zombie bite. The intent is to kill but if bitten and then left alive, the person would turn into a zombie. In this situation with the plant, the venom was never meant to turn others but yet since Barrett got the venom in his bloodstream and wasnt killed, the plant has basically grown in his body and given him all it’s abilities including some extra stuff. But yea back to the scene, he’s basically begging her to stop the pain in any way possible and so she knocks him out. When he wakes up the 2nd time, the pain is a lot more dull but now he’s freaking out cause he’s now noticing the pink aura and like he almost fuckin died and now he’s in some stranger’s house. Muriel explains to him all of what happened and Barrett is kinda a dick to her cause he absolutely doesnt trust her and i mean like he’s a white man in the 1920s. Ofc Muriel doesn’t take too kindly to that but she’s convinced if she lets him leave while he has no control over the shit that he got into, he’ll get killed. So he stays with her for about a year and eventually they warm up to eachother. That whole year, they both learn most of what exactly Barrett can do now. As far as appearance, his eyes have changed into this shimmery pastel pink and he’s gained that same pink aura that the plant had so his whole body looks tinted pink. They make him look pretty fuckin inhuman so Muriel teaches him how to suppress it so he look normal. It’s easy for him to do (just a bit uncomfortable) as long as he’s in a stable mental state and as soon as he stops holding it back, it’ll come right back out again. As for abilities, He can grow and control those marigolds branches/vines from his skin, heal quicker and more efficiently so he’s a lot harder to kill (although serious wounds can still take him a couple days to heal), and he’s gained the same attraction ability that the plant used to lure victims. This mainly makes people immediately trust him and easier for him to manipulate which comes into play a lot later on. Then they find another ability of his thats completely different than anything the plant had and this one is 100% my favorite. If Barrett is making physical contact with someone else’s skin, he can bring out the most recent emotion that person is feeling towards the person theyre looking at and like amplify it to the extreme. So like for example, if person A is mildy frustrated at that moment with person B and theyre looking person B, when Barrett uses that ability on person A, itll amplify that frustration and make person A suddenly extremely hostile towards person B even if they would never hurt person B normally. It always depends on the most recent feeling towards someone so a lot of the time Barrett has no way of knowing what he’s amplifying and which emotion will come out. Depending on how much effort he puts into using this ability, this effect can last from 15 minutes - an hour. Its harder for him to use it on anyone who isnt human so he has to put significantly more effort and usually wont last as long as it would on a human which i absolutely did on purpose cause i introduce more nonhuman characters later and its really cool. The way to tell if someone is under that effect (other than the abnormal behavior ofc) is that theyre eyes will turn the same shade of pink as Barrett’s are when he’s not holding everything back. The draw backs to using this though is that the more effort he puts, the harder it is for him to keep himself looking normal. So if he were to use that ability with like full force, he wouldnt be able to hold back the aura, eye color, or any branches growing from him. So basically he has to be real careful. Its really useful for fights/ self defense tho which i have a lot of scenes like that planned out. But yea Barrett and Muriel find this out cause he accidentally does it on Muriel during an arguement. Muriel is looking at Barrett at that moment and was currently feeling immense guilt for everything that happened to him so when Barrett accidently amplified that she just starts sobbing. It doesnt last long cause although Muriel is technically human, she has some powers herself due to “worshipping” this beetle god which is a whole nother story lmao. But yea anyway, Barrett learns how to control all his shit over that whole year staying with Muriel and once they both think he’s gotten a decent amount of control, Barrett goes back to normal society and brings Muriel with him since theyve gotten really close in that period of time. Muriel tells him not to tell anyone in fear that he’ll be hurt but he doesn’t really listen. And like you guys already know he goes to Morgan and then Virginia and tells them all about everything that happened. Virginia takes it a lot better than Morgan obviously. For a short period of time before Morgan starts going crazy, Barrett, Muriel, Virginia, and Morgan all become like a kind of friend group. Once Morgan starts getting paranoid and reclusive, it gradually falls apart. Muriel has been staying with Virginia since coming with Barrett back to society which is why she was there when the hitman Morgan hires is threatening Virginia. You guys know the basics of all of what happens next pretty much. There’s more scenes with Virgina in between this and Morgan’s death but they aren’t really major scenes. She does try a few times to fix everything with Barrett and Morgan but obviously it doesn’t work out. So skipping to after Barrett and Muriel flee, like i said Barrett is never caught cause ya know 1920s crime investigations were shit lmao. The murder does cause uproar for a while cause of how weird it is what with all the flowers and Morgan’s weird behavior before his death. and cause Morgan was almost famous. Barrett becomes pretty untrusting towards humans after this and as the years pass with Muriel he gets to the point of just straight up hating them and hating being referred to as one. I have ideas for events that happen in between the 1920s and modern times for Barrett and Muriel but don’t have anything set in stone yet. Around late 1920s early 1930s they discover that Barrett’s aging has also been affected. At this point they dont know how much but its obvious hes gonna have a longer life span than most humans. Barrett gets really upset thinking about out living Muriel and basically begs her to work some “magic” so she’ll live longer cause she’s pretty much the only person he trusts completely. Muriel says no cause tampering with the natural cycle of things rubbed her the wrong way. They get into an argument where Barrett is mainly just pleading with her and she storms out. While she’s out tho she decides to do it for him and arranges some stuff to pause her aging until she decides to let it keep going again. There’s drawbacks to this kinda magic of course but i still havent decided what exactly. So basically after this point her body stays aged in her early 40s. Years past and its modern times and Barrett and Muriel are now a little over 100 years old. Barrett’s only aged about 15 years since now he looks to be in his early 40s as well. He’s definitely adapted with the current life style a little bit but still really keeps an old timey way of speech and clothing style. He’s changed a bit personality wise due to being alive so long tho. Him and Muriel have become very nihilistic. Barrett still really resents humans especially with how his attraction ability makes them all so trusting of him and predictable which has gotten boring for him. He’s kinda gotten a bit of a superiority complex due to believing he’s above humans in every way but learns to be charming and fake nice around them to not raise suspicion. Then they meet those 2 nonhuman ocs i briefly mentioned earlier! I got a lot of plot stuff for modern times as well as currently working on figuring out more stuff for Muriel and Barrett back in the 1930s and 40s but this has gotten insanely long and probably more than you even wanted to know so ill leave it at that!

[noodlenutter]

i met my childhood idol TWICE this weekend and i dont think im gonna be the same ever again

super longwinded and probably kinda cringey/obsessivly detailed post under the cut

ok so when i was 11 there was a show on cbbc called mission 2110 and the main character, caleb, was this cyborg dude w a robot arm and headset and he was fighting against evil robots who’d taken over the world, and most importantly, he was played by stuart goldsmith. 

i saw a sign around uni for a comedy show at the basement, york, by (you guessed it) stuart goldsmith. so of course i had to go, if only to make childhood-me happy

i turned up alone and Very early. i waited outside the venue for a while and saw stu leave and go for a walk around york but I wasn’t 100% sure it was him so i didnt approach him then

when we finally got in i sat on the front row between a group of elderly people and a drunk hen party - as soon as stuart got on stage, he started his introducing himself/the show, talking about the venue and warming up the crowd spiel, but instantly froze when he saw the hen party (he was surprised that they were there and kept sort of forgetting his train of thought and going back to the fact the entire front row was a hen party, cos they’re not his usual audience)

he started the gig and im not gonna go into huge detail about that in this post cos there’s no way i’d do any of it justice thru words (plus theres gonna be a tour dvd sometime ;) ) but at some points he interacted with the audience (usually the front row) so i’ll mention those 

the first Direct Interaction was when he spat directly onto my shoe while talking. he looked right at me, stopped his joke, and said ‘yes, i know what just happened. i know. it was Entirely Intentional.’ and kept going as if nothing had happened at all (it was fuckin hilarious cos no one else even saw it happen so the crowd was like ?????)

& for the part where he asked about jobs, he asked me and i said i was a student so he firstly asked what i wanted to do after - but straight away asked what i studied. i shrugged as a response to what i want to do after the degree (cos who knows lmao) but he took that as a response for what i study and made some quip about me not even knowing what i study n how that’s just a Typical Student Thing isn’t it?

(apparently when robots take our jobs, psychologists will be replaced by tape recorders on legs)

during the break (NOT an interval) i was talking to the people beside me (not the ones in the hen party) about york and scarborough and floods and bands and everything, they were so nice 

not much happened in the 2nd half of the show (other than the fact i almost CRIED laughing, honestly that dude is SO funny), but he said he was gonna hang around afterwards to sell tshirts and say hi to people, so i decided to ask him about cbbc’s mission 2110 (which was my favourite show ever and also the place i know him from)

so, after he’d told his last joke (one about raisins, which i remembered on the drive home and had to pull over cos i was laughing so hard i thought i was gonna crash the car), he said goodbye and got off stage etc etc, i queue up to say hi. straight away he reaches out to shake my hand & say ‘hi mate, thanks for enjoying the show’, that kinda thing

i asked him about m2110 and his face LIT UP, i thought he was gonna hate me for reminding him of it but he was happy and said that was his dream job, all the robots were played by his street performer friends, and he cant wait for the day that one of the kids from the show turns up to his gig

i asked him for a photo after that and he was like ‘yea, of course!! ill even do the pose!’ and put his hand to his face like caleb from m2110 did (im grinning at the memory while typing this, its such a dumb photo but i look insanely happy and he looks exactly as i remember caleb looking)

i asked how m2110 ended (i never got to see the last ever episode), and he looked like he was going to tell me but when i said i hadn’t seen the last ep he said ‘i’m not gonna tell you then!!’ (cmon mate its been deleted off the internet for like 8 years now :(!! )

all in all i think the first show was just how a typical comedy gig goes, but the 2nd show things got different (in a good way)

i decided to go again when i found out he was going to be in leeds 2 days later, and i took my friend who was disappointed that she’d missed the first show

we got to the front row and had to sit directly in front of him (we were gonna sit a bit further across but other people wanted to sit there first), so when he came up on stage to do his intro he glanced at me, then snapped back to do a double take - ‘are you BACK???’ he asked, pointing at me, ‘you were in york the other day, weren’t you?’

i gave him a thumbs up, high enough for most of the crowd to see, and he grinned, crouched a bit and started talking to me about the york show’s crowd - the fact there was a hen party, how surprised he was about them, and then that the weren’t as rowdy as we both thought they were going to be - after a minute or so, he stood up again and said ‘this is more of a chat than a show, isn’t it?’ & got on with the show.

i honestly can’t stop thinking about the “what’s your name, where you from, where d’you do your howling?” part of the show cos it’s never something i thought of before, but every day since then i’ve screamed in my car to a song and it’s kinda therapeutic (he pointed at me when he asked about howling, he points at a random audience member for each question) (also SOIL) (also also the bit about wanting to do a mic drop but with a microphone made of meringue) 

in the break, the person behind me tapped me on the shoulder and asked whether it was different from york or better/worse than york, and whether i’d been a fan for long, etc etc 

after the break, stu got back on stage and thanked us all for coming back - then asked whether there were any ‘guilty empty seats’ next to anyone. the guy in the seat next to mine didn’t return after the break, so the person next to him and i pointed at the empty chair on the front row (he said something about how he respects that decision cos the guy came alone anyway) 

“shall we mix this part up a bit? could you shuffle these?” he asked, and gave me the flashcards while explaining how this part of the show worked (he workshops jokes from flashcards, they’re in a set order for every other show but he wanted to make it different for leeds, and so gave me the cards to decide the order)

i panicked a bit though cos I was so shocked, so i just shuffled them randomly instead of reading the cards and what they said (oops), and i put an interesting one on top - it just said ‘R’ in a circle and i couldn’t think what joke that would have been so i put it first.

i gave him the cards back and he looked at the top one like ‘uhh, no, i cant do this one first, that’s possibly the best bit of them all it’s gotta go at the end’ (which made me realise it was the raisin joke at the end of the show, so i told him how it really is because I had to pull over on the drive home it made me laugh so much - to which he fist pumped and yelled ‘now THAT’S a review!’)

before moving onto the content on the cards he talked about how he wishes he could go on stage to an audience who’s already ‘warm’ to him so he doesnt have to waste his 2nd best joke so early in the show, so he was planning ideas to get the crowd hyped before he even came out. he sat on the empty chair next to me and talked about how if everyone’s hyped enough then he’ll get a standing ovation etc etc, then stood back up, jumped on stage, and we all stood with him and clapped - ‘yeah, keep going!!! no one sit down! dont do it!’, after a few seconds i was losing my balance but i thought it’d be Funny if someone sat down, and Funny if that someone was me, who everyone knew had been to the show before. so i sat. 

‘NO!! she’s sat down! that’s it i guess, it’s over isnt it, alright then, you can all stop now i suppose’ (tbf i feel slightly bad for it BUT it made it all funnier anyway so it’s chill, i hope)

because i hadn’t looked at the cards every time there was an unexpected one he glanced over to me, ‘is this really what you want? you want this one?’, sighed ‘okay then’ and did the bit. the one about the squirrel (’you really want the fuckin squirrel one???’) kinda flopped cos it built off a previous one in york so he said that at least he’s learnt that it has to be in a certain order to be funny (youre welcome)

after the show when i went to say hi & thank you for letting me control the cards etc (i never actually said that cos i got distracted, ended up talking about how one of my twitter friends & her family is friends with him and his family but he asked who i was talking about and im like ‘uhhh i dont know her name we use nicknames online uhhhhhhh sorry’ lol), when he saw me he lifted his arms and went straight in for a hug (I HUGGED MY CHILDHOOD IDOL) & thanked me for coming back again so soon

i asked if he could sign something for me but all i had was a yellow envelope (’oh! a yenvelope!’) nnd a sharpie wrapped in tissues cos it leaks (’uhhhh lucy, why is it wrapped in tissue? oh, it leaks? well, if i were you i’d wrap it in something, maybe a tissue?’) & signed the envelope with ‘you are too big a fan! :)’ which is the most true thing anyones ever said about me, ever. he also asked if i wanted a photo or anything but i said i’d already got one n he was like ‘oh of course you do’ lol

anyway yea we left after that and i’ve been screaming internally ever since cos i never thought id ever even meet him but then i saw him twice in 3 days and he recognised me, let me influence the show AND hugged me. im still amazed. im in awe. stuart goldsmith is such a wholesome guy and im waiting (im)patiently for his next tour

EDIT: i just remembered that during the last joke i was laughing so much that i was crying and i was fanning my face, and he saw and was like ‘are you ok there?? you good??’ which made me laugh even more, jesus,