#im grieving and making it everyones problem

[separatist-apologist]

What Died Didn't Stay Dead

Summary: Gwyneth Berdara has been promised to a brutal prince who imagines himself a god. Setting sail across pirate infested waters, she and Nesta Archeron hatch a plan to escape her arranged marriage before they arrive.

A gift for @alohaangels, whose kind words softened some of my grief.

Read on AO3

TW for depictions of sexual assault- reminiscing on the event, but it is graphic so please take care of yourself.

--

It was a mistake.

Surely some sort of joke. 

Gwyn’s eyes scanned the piece of paper before her, looking for some tell-tale clue that would mark the missive as some kind of cruel joke. Some nobleman’s idea of amusing himself with a ruined man’s daughter. 

Lady Berdara,

I have made my intentions plain to your guardian, and with her blessing, I intend to make them plain to you as well. I have been unable to stop thinking of you since the ball, hosted now several months previously. Your beauty follows me, an ever present guest I would not be rid of, distracting as your visage is. 

Allow me to speak freely—I would like to be wed with haste if possible. I have enclosed two tickets to Alsfeld for you and a lady of your choosing. Send word, make the passage, and I will meet you at the Port of Alsfeld.

Say yes. I will accept no other answer.

Yours, faithfully,

Prince Edward II

Gwyn looked up at Merrill with disbelief, immediately frustrated to find her guardian looking back with a look of supreme smugness. 

“I told you,” she said, rising from her chair to walk toward the window. Gwyn had been living under care since her family had been slaughtered, casualties of the ongoing and bloody war being fought by Edward the Senior. She’d been minor nobility, then, though part of the landed gentry all the same.

“This is a joke,” Gwyn replied, pushing away the rising tide of memories. She wished she had perished, then, and often cursed the unknown, faceless man who had spared her a bloody death right at the last second. 

“It’s not,” Merrill replied, smoothing out the folds of her heavy cobalt gown. “He was taken with you at the ball, and he’s taken with you now.”

“I have no dowry,” Gwyn reminded Merrill, who must have already thought of that. “I work for my keep.”

“Money was set aside for you. I have been safe guarding it,” Merrill told her. Gwyn didn’t know what to say to that—she’d been told for years that her father had squandered everything, that the only way to continue living under Merrill’s grace was to work. 

“Oh, don’t look at me like that. You have an education, don’t you? Room? Board? Fine clothes and regular meals?”

“I…am grateful,” Gwyn forced herself to say, hardly grateful at all. She was angry—always so, so angry. The feeling was nothing new, just as swallowing it wasn’t, either. She knew all the right words, steps to a dance she’d long memorized. “I am so grateful for you.”

Gwyn wasn’t, though. Merrill had never been kind—a poor substitute for her already flighty mother. At least then she’d had Catrin.

Now she had no one and nothing but memories tainted in blood, smoke, and so much fear. And, apparently, a marriage she could not wiggle free from. Gwyn wracked her mind for anything that might save her—Edward was a prince twice her age who’d ordered her into several dances. His breath had smelled rank, his fingers tight and clammy, and he’d leaned in too close for her liking as he droned on and on about his many war victories.

Did he even know his family’s war was the reason she had to rely on the charity of others?

Gwyn doubted he cared. 

“What about his last wife?”

“The Catholic?” Merrill scoffed. It was a rumor, of course—meant to discredit a woman so he could have a divorce without upsetting the general populace that loved her so. “Locked in a convent, last I heard. She gave only daughters and  he needs sons.”

“I’m supposed to do that?” Gwyn gaped, blood turning to ice. She had to swallow against the torrent of memories rising through her, threatening to spill over the ornate cream rug in the form of her breakfast. She’d promised she wouldn’t—that a man would never again touch her like that, certainly not if she invited him to, and even that was questionable.

It seemed she had no choice. 

“You’ll be his wife,” Merrill said dismissively, clearly tired of the conversation. It was the longest they’d had in waking memory, which meant at any moment Merrill was going to give Gwyn a verbal order to do as she was told, and a silent order to shut her mouth and be grateful.

Gwyn had no gratitude left in her. Certainly not for a man who intended to use her and then discard her if he tired of her. 

“He has a wife—”

“He doesn’t,” Merrill snapped, tossing a lock of blonde hair over her shoulder. Was she bitter it wasn’t her? Gwyn would trade her. “Nesta Archeron has agreed to accompany you to Alsfeld and I expect you to go upstairs, pack appropriately, and smile at your good fortune. Not many men would consider marrying you given your past.”

“My past.” Gwyn dropped all pretense, her words hollow, voice flat. 

“Yes, Gwyneth, your past. You should be overjoyed that a man wants you at all, let alone one so esteemed as the prince.”

“You told him?” Gwyn felt betrayal clawing at her neck. “That wasn’t yours to share!”

“The dowry he demanded was impossible to meet,” Merrill sniffed, eyes icy and unforgiving. “He was entitled to less knowing you were ruined.”

Ruined.

Gwyn rose from the chair she’d been sitting in, skirts ruffling loudly in her ringing ears. How Gwyn hated when Merrill said that to her—as if she were little more than a lamp that had broken and not a whole person that had been stolen from.

She couldn’t speak—she knew she’d cry, her anger making a mockery of her. Inclining her head, Gwyn merely made her way through the parlor, past the servants she’d once been close with. They wouldn’t meet her gaze, though she swore their mouths twisted with pity. She was the last to know, as usual, and it showed. 

Making her way to her small bedroom, Gwyn flung herself onto the padded window seat to peer out at the sea. How long before she was on one of the ships in the harbor with only the wretched Nesta Archeron for company? She’d only met the woman once and Nesta had been so wildly unpleasant that Gwyn had immediately dismissed her without another word.

Now they’d be trapped aboard a ship together. Gwyn sighed, turning toward her dresser. She had a large carpet bag and a trunk—she’d put personal things in the bag and the rest in the trunk, assuming someone was going to rifle through the items in the trunk. Better to not give anything away.

Truthfully, Gwyn had very little. Merrill had never deigned to give her anything of value, always with the admonishment that she ought to be grateful. Gwyn’s gratitude died with Catrin, leaving behind only her rage. How a prince had found her fascinating enough to marry was beyond Gwyn—the night they’d danced, she’d been wearing one of Merrill’s gowns, promptly returned while it was still warm. 

What would he do when he realized she was practically a servant? Maybe it didn’t matter—perhaps he’d outfit her in finery and remind the populace that, technically, her father had died a decorated war hero. Nevermind he’d been cowering in his final moments, on his knees begging not for the lives of the daughters being dragged away by laughing soldiers, but his own.

Gwyn’s anger grew hotter. She threw her items in the trunk, not caring if they were wrinkled. She let it consume her, balling up gown after gown so she could throw them with force into the trunk until she felt a little calmer. Less fury. She reminded herself to breathe, the same exercises she’d once done with Catrin.

It had been Catrin who’d once been filled with anger and Gwyn who had peace. She’d find her sister, raging about some injustice, and remind her to breathe until they were both smiling again. Catrin’s rage had sent her running from the house to try and save the children next door—and she’d been the first of the two of them to die. Wherever she’d hidden them, however they’d escaped…Catrin refused to say.

Gwyn, trembling and scared, a mere three minutes younger though sometimes it felt like three years, had obeyed when Catrin ordered, don’t say a word!

“We can break you,” the soldier had laughed, reaching for his belt. Catrin had turned her head, arms held over her head by another soldier. She’d screamed and fought, writhing like a wild, desperate animal while Gwyn silently sobbed, watching—knowing she would be next.

Tell us, the soldier had ordered, turning to Gwyn.

Don’t, Catrin had ordered again, fiercer than before. They’d placed a blade to Catrin’s neck and demanded again. Gwyn had looked at her sister, but Catrin only widened her eyes.

“Be brave,” Catrin had whispered.

The last words ever spoken between them. They’d laughed as they cut her throat, and laughed louder as Gwyn screamed, dragged to the same bed her sister bled out on. Gwyn hadn’t been brave at all—she’d begged them to kill her, too.

And they would have, had that man not come kicking in with that lethal looking sword. Walking to her dresser, she found the cloak he’d draped over her folded up at the bottom. Throwing it away would have been the better thing to do, but in the aftermath of what had happened, she’d simply tossed it in the back of her wardrobe. Afterwards, she’d had it washed, unable to stand the smell of whatever cologne that man wore mingled with blood and sweat. She could have thrown it away then, too.

She picked it up, admiring the well-made fabric and the heavy, silver and cobalt clasp that would have kept it pinned around her neck. Gwyn hadn’t dared to wear it, but it felt…wrong…to be rid of it, now. It was a relic of the worst moment of her life. She hated that stranger, his face concealed by a mask, though what little she might have seen had been blurred by blood and tears. He’d carried her out after brutally, and mercilessly, slaughtering every man who’d come into her house. 

He’d tried to take her somewhere, but she’d started screaming again and so he’d left her huddled in a heap beneath a tree with a silver dagger laid at her bare feet. He hadn’t said a word, merely vanished back into the ether. Perhaps he’d been a long forgotten god come to seek vengeance. Or perhaps he’d simply been a mercenary unable to witness his brethern pillaging and raping. 

She’d never know. 

Still, sometimes she caught herself thinking about him, wondering where he was and why he’d intervened in the first place. Gwyn had the dagger, though she didn’t know how to use it, and tucked that into her bag along with a necklace that had belonged to Catrin she didn’t dare wear. She hadn’t been brave.

She didn’t deserve to.

Gwyn skipped dinner that night, which caused Merrill to rant through the halls about how spoiled and ungrateful she was. Gwyn blocked it out with a book, curled back in the window seat as she waited for the inevitable. She couldn’t sleep, chasing the sunrise with drooping eyelids. Merrill wasn’t far behind, bursting in with more energy than Gwyn was certain she’d ever had in her life. 

Gwyn had never liked the small city she’d been isolated in. It was just big enough to give the illusion of privacy but small enough that everyone knew everything. Busybodies to the very last, which meant that as Gwyn was paraded through the busy early morning, all eyes fell on her, even if just for a moment. They’d flit in her direction before fans extended and women began chattering behind them, their peals of laughter echoing over the sounds of horse drawn carriages and booming voices announcing the prices of fish and produce. 

Gwyn wanted to be the kind of person who’d stare back, eyes shooting daggers as she did. She wasn’t, though, even as her anger and humiliation seemed to reach a writhing fever pitch in her chest. She imagined all the things she’d say, should she have the opportunity—the way she’d cut them into ribbons until they felt as small as she did—but she kept her eyes trained on the muddy cobblestone streets before her. Causing a scene would only result in more problems for Gwyn, who always seemed to be blamed, regardless if something was actually her fault. Merrill simply did not like her, and resented being vaguely related to her father and therefore, responsible for her care. 

Gwyn might have liked the docks and the quieter bustle filled with mostly men who didn’t seem to care a single jot about her, were it not for the icy stare of Nesta Archeron. She was alone, standing on the curb with her arms crossed over her chest. 

Great.

Gwyn did look at Nesta, hoping her expression conveyed a do-not-try-it-with-me,but who knew how Nesta took it. Nesta was a Duke's daughter and came from wealth so obscene, Gwyn didn’t dare think about it. What horrible lord was waiting for her in Alsfeld—and who was worse, Gwyn mused privately.

It was fun to watch Merrill dip into a respectful bow while Nesta stared down her nose, unimpressed and maybe even bored by the whole display. “Lady Archeron,” Merrill demurred, looking as if she’d prefer to be anywhere else. “You’re looking well.”

“You don’t,” Nesta replied in that brutal way of hers. Gwyn had to bite back a laugh, reminding herself that once Merrill left, Nesta would turn that mannerless behavior on her. 

“Well,” Merrill said as the salty air tangled a strand of her hair. “Take care of yourself, Gwyneth. If you have need of me, please write.” Gwyn nodded, certain Merrill would never respond to any letter. This wasn’t goodbye—it was a washing of the hands. Merrill had done her duty and now she was free of it. 

“Remember duty,” Merrill added, perhaps guessing the slant of Gwyn’s angry thoughts. Nesta arched a brow but said nothing, lip curling over perfectly straight teeth as she watched Merrill flounce off.

“Her hat was ugly,” Nesta declared the moment Merrill was out of earshot. The own hat, perched neatly atop Nesta coiffed golden brown hair, was very fashionable with its light pink feather and the way it tilted ever so delicately. It paired well with the deep plum of her gown that seemed out of place right before the docks. Gwyn certainly felt underdressed in green, her gown from two seasons earlier and just a tad too big. She felt inadequate in new and frustrating ways.

“So is yours,” Gwyn snapped, stepping around Nesta as two burly armed, barrel chested sailors took her trunk toward a wooden ramp that led to the ship she supposed they would sail on.

Nesta blinked. “I told Elain it was ridiculous,” she grumbled, though she didn’t remove it. Nesta merely marched in step with Gwyn, following the men now charged with their care. Gwyn had expected a sharp tongued insult, not agreement.

“Why did you let her talk you into it?”

Nesta shrugged delicate shoulders, spine impossibly straight as she walked. She looked like the one who ought to be marrying a prince—not Gwyn. Gwyn looked like her maid at best, which annoyed her further. There was something she was missing to this whole arrangement, something that would come back to harm her before she pieced it all together. 

“She can be very bossy when she sets her mind to something,” Nesta said, as if Gwyn knew anything about the Archeron sisters. They were sheltered and spoiled, appearing in the city only when something grand was happening. They otherwise kept to their estate, though there were rumors about how wild the youngest of the three were.

She sounded like more interesting company than the scowling Nesta. One thing, Gwyn supposed, was how unafraid Nesta was to give orders.

“Take us to our cabin,” Nesta demanded the moment their feet were on the softly swaying deck. Two sailors exchanged a glance but otherwise said nothing at all—they merely gestured for the pair to follow them.

“We’re not to be disturbed,” Nesta began, her words seemingly well-practiced. “You may bring our meals to us directly, but otherwise no man is to enter our chamber.”

“Who would stop us?” one of the sailors asked, clearly bitter about being bossed around by a woman.

Gwyn’s own temper got the better of her. “I will.”

Whatever they saw on her face kept them from saying much more. Gwyn waited until they were taken into a large stateroom they were clearly meant to share. Nesta turned, and the sailor, guessing her irritation, threw up his palms in defense. “You can share, or you can sleep in the bunks with everyone else. Your choice, princess.”

“Don’t call me that,” she hissed before slamming the door in his face. “Must you be so…” Gwyn trailed off, unsure what she even meant to say. Nesta understood, though.

“Because otherwise they think they can take liberties. That we’re helpless and soft and sweet—that we won’t say anything if they touch us. Now they know we’ll scream, and when we arrive at port, we’ll tell someone. They’ll think twice.”

“And with Merrill?” Gwyn demanded, arms crossed over her chest.

“Her presence offends me,” Nesta said with a shrug, as if it were a given. Gwyn couldn’t help but laugh, one hand on her stomach to keep herself from doubling over.

“Mine, too.”

“She thinks herself a great humanitarian, but she’s not. She made a lot of money taking you in, for all the good it did. Look at your dress,” Nesta said, reaching for Gwyn’s sleeve. Gwyn slapped her hand away, embarrassed and self-conscious.

“What are you talking about?”

Nesta stared for a moment, hand cradled to her chest. Those icy blue eyes seemed to be a little sad for only a moment before the emotion vanished, replaced with her usual steely gaze. “Lord Rhysand paid her a hefty stipend for your education. His father and your father were friends, I suppose.”

“No one…no one told me that,” Gwyn managed as anger and betrayal clawed up her throat. “I was working.”

So a Duke paid for Gwyn’s education, and her father had left an inheritance, all pocketed by Merrill. Gwyn turned for the door, ready to march off the ship and throttle Merrill but Nesta grabbed her wrist.

“There is no point. She’s not capable of shame.”

“So she gets away with it?” Gwyn demanded with outrage. “Does no one face consequences except me?”

“She doesn’t have to get away with it,” Nesta said slyly. “I overheard father talking, and he seems to think your marriage will elevate Merrill in a way few ladies ever achieve.”

“Of course it does,” Gwyn grumbled, sitting despondently on the floral patterned bed. “She probably orchestrated it herself.”

“I’m sure. That doesn’t mean you have to marry him,” Nesta continued, holding Gwyn’s stare. 

“He’s a prince—”

“So?” Nesta demanded. “When we arrive, simply say no and stay with me and my aunt. With the new laws that require a ladies consent, you can simply decline.”

“He’s not just some spoiled lordling,” Gwyn whispered, though the idea was spreading through her like wildfire. 

“He’s only a man,” Nesta replied, sitting beside her. “He’s not a god.”

But Gwyn knew what men could do when they didn’t get what they wanted—when they felt thwarted, especially by a lesser woman. It would become a matter of principle to punish her. To control her. He had a navy at his disposal, an army willing to kill on command, and more gold than anyone in the realm. If he wanted to find her, he would. 

And when he did, he’d punish her for daring to defy him.

Still.

The idea had roots.

—-

Azriel heard the sound of boots echoing off swaying wood before he saw Cassian in the doorway. His friend flashed a grin, arms crossed over his chest.

“Ship sailed this afternoon.”

Azriel shifted in his chair, boots reclined on his desk while he toyed with his favorite dagger absently. Turning his gaze from Cassian, he couldn’t help but smile. 

“Armed?”

“Barely,” Cassian replied, his amusement plain. “It’s a merchant ship.”

“Whose?” Azriel didn’t want to make too many enemies of the merchant class, some of whom paid money for safe passage and protection from other privateers. 

“Archeron,” Cassian said. Azriel frowned, though it changed nothing. Rhys wasn’t one of them—not really. He could make his demands, could provide them with funding, could play pirate lord when it suited him, but he wasn’t out there day to day.

He didn’t know how hard Azriel had worked to organize this ambush. How he’d intercepted that letter. The spying he’d done, the dominoes set into motion. It was now or it was never. The walls of the palace were impenetrable, even to him. 

“Doesn’t matter,” Azriel decided. It didn’t. He’d rather beg forgiveness than ask permission—Rhys would do the same, were he in Azriel’s position. “Sink the ship.”

“Aye, Captain,” Cassian said, his grin returning.

Azriel’s gaze turned toward the window overlooking the sea. With a soft exhale, he smiled, too. 

Soon.

[mihai-florescu]

The thing about being a bitch and a hater is that you need to be charismatic about it for people to still like you somehow. And most importantly you need to be a poor little meow meow people will want to help see win.

[willosword]

btw im about 70% sure lucifer's gonna die in the finale but i hope not bc like..... i hate when depressed dads die in shows :(

[radioconstructed]

// Slow burn radioapple where Al keeps being a menace because that's the best way she knows how to cope with being in crisis, her local Lucifer pushes back bc he shouldn't have to deal with this shit, they keep getting into beef,,, if he's not aware already, he becomes aware that she doesn't get this triggered by anyone else and wonders what the fuck her problem is with him,,

maybe he'll ask her. maybe she'll tell him half. she won't tell him the other half.

maybe he'll figure it out.

[gojoswhitebabydolllashes]

I REALLY WANTED TO WRITE SOMETHING BASED OFF OF THIS

THIS IS 'RED'

SO ENJOY.

-

You didn't have hair like Jean. Or that fiery look in your eyes. Your skin wasn't smooth, and you were full of flaws only Logan refused to see. You weren't used to being second. Of course, you had been second for tests in the mansion or second in the bonding activities. Professor x encouraged everyone to play despite their exhausted groans, and you've played video games where you've come second to Ororo or Scott.

But never had you thought you'd be second to Logan.

There were people who had warned you. That Logan was not ready for another relationship. But you refused to see the signs in his struggles, and despite all that you had heard of the love he had for Jean, you still loved him.

Now, sitting out in the grass crying to the sound of the crickets, you regretted your decision to love another chance. He swore up and down, left and right, that he didn't love her anymore.

But a blind man could see it. A deaf woman could hear it. And a fool could do both with ease.

You were-are-a fool for Logan. You were a massive fool for him, and you had been since you played eyes on him. Every night you'd go to bed dreaming of him and every morning you dressed to impress him and get his adoration. But no matter what you did, he still looked at Jean and soon you began to lose the hope you once had.

And every night as you dreamed of him, he was dreaming of her.

-

"YOU THINK IM SOME KIND OF FOOL?!" You spat, pointing sharply at Logan.

Defensively, he scowled and slammed his hands down on the dining table, Chittering the plates and forks.

"WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!" His voice boomed in the walls of the house.

"WITH ME?!" You exclaimed, your lip quivering. "YOU ARE THE PROBLEM LOGAN!"

He threw his hands by his head acting defeated. "Yeah, right, because it's never your fault, is it?" He scoffed.

Never my fault. Right. But when he woke up one night and stabbed me because he thought I had kidnapped Jean, that was my fault. When he wakes up to breakfast in the morning but it Wasn't Jean that had cooked it. That's also my fault.

It's always my fault

"NOT MY FAULT? WHEN IS IT NOT MY FAULT LOGAN?! YOU ALWAYS MAKE IT MY FAULT. WHY ARE YOU SO AFRAID TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY?!" You howled like a grieving wife.

To an outsider, it may have looked like you were screaming blue murder, weeping to the man who killed your lover. And you might have said to certain extent, the outsider is right.

"You were never there for me! Not once!"

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. After the months and months of longing and weeping, long nights of screaming and horror within you, moments when you couldn't bear to be without Logan and moments when you didn't even want to think of him. Some nights spent holding him while he sobbed her name. Hers

"Fuck you logan" you spat venom "I tried to be there for you I really did. I really fucking tried. But you are a coward. You refused to let me help you and when you asked me for help it was always for me to put on her perfume"

You almost threw up. Gripping the wood of the table as you leant on it, wood chips splintering your nails felt softer than loving Logan.

"You are so selfish!" He boomed."You are a pathetic, cowardly woman! All I want is your help!"

You slowly got off the table, with all your strength you walked for the door. "Oh your gonna leave now?!" Logan hissed

You turnt to face him. "I was really hoping I would see the best in you logan, I was really hoping that one day we could have had a family, and loved them as our own. Now I see that if we had children, while I loved them as ours, you'd loved them as yours and jean's, and I can't have that. I can't live like this. Goodbye logan. I hope I made loving me worth your time"

[rinhaler]

on the plug sukuna subject, I often think about what will happen if yuuji proposed to the reader bc I know she's saying yesss

THAT WEEDING IS GOING TO BE SUCHHH A MESS

sukuna will be fucking the reader like 10 minutes before the ceremony, ino be distracting yuuji so they don't get caught in what they swore it's going to be their last time. At the ceremony sukuna next to Yuuji CRYING his eyes out and everyone thinks it's so sweet bc omg he's watching his little brother growing but WRONG, HE IS GRIEVING THE READERS PUSSY. And the celebration AAAA ino is trying to convince everyone to get high, sukuna and the reader having sex in a bathroom bc they can't help themselves and she looks sooo pretty, yuuji finding the whole thing out and fists fighting sukuna, megumi trying to break up the fight while nobara is recording the hole thing😭😭😭

Also the faces of everyone finding out sukuna was sleeping with the bride??? He's the one getting the blame bc everyone thinks he's such a bad influence

The whole story is ending in one of those facebook gossip reels titled "the BRIDE was fucking the grooms BROTHER" and it's a girl making a cake while telling the story or on reddit "AITA for not telling my friend my best friend is fucking his girlfriend and cover them up so they could hookup at my friends wedding" and it's from ino's user😭😭

I knoooowww anything of this is canon but I just like to think about it for funsies

HELPPPP UR RIGHT IT WOULD BE THE MESSIEST WEDDING EVER

the way im cackling at them fucking one last time before the wedding and then fucking again right after !!! JAIL!

No bc ur so right she's absolutely saying yes. She's basically wanted to marry Yuuji since they met and the fact that he's ACTUALLY proposing to her would make her head spin. Sukuna is like well.. she'd never say yes bc she'd have to live a lie for the rest of her life and then he's just DEVASTATED to see her accept as if there isn't a problem!!!

The actual wedding day would probably be the most depressing day of Sukuna's WHOLE life too. He's so heart eyes for the reader and her gorgeous dress and he wants it to be their wedding so bad but no, he's gotta be the perfect supportive big brother.

I bet he'd be saying some feral shit like he's gonna get her pregnant so she knows who she really belongs to while they're fucking. Ughhhh I need him.. why aren't we dating him again? JGDKLGHDSALJ

I think she'd actually flee the country btw if she got caught she'd NEVER be able to live it down and for it to end up all over Reddit?? AAAAAA ultimate humilation.

aaaa thank u for this ask ive never rly thought about a wedding day before but it's very soap opera for the whole truth to come out at a wedding im OBSESSED hehehe

[melrosing]

poor gurm. hotd has it problems but I do believe the showrunners are trying to make a good product. unlike d&d who gurm should rightfully resent...no way there's not a bit of projecting in any hotd criticism from him.

i think it’s probably complicated, like I get the impression that the HOTD showrunners have gotten carried away with the changes they made in S1 and now it’s demonstrable that they just don’t really have the raw talent to spin this story into something new, try as they might. I don’t think they were ever wrong for changing things up in adaptation, F&B practically requires that - but they are to blame for the shoddy execution

but apart from that I’m starting to get the impression that for GRRM it’s more complicated than that. if I had to guess, I’d say that after GOT, he was clear with HBO that he wants more faithful adaptations going forward, and he wants his opinion to count for something, and that’s why he signed. like if he’s this mad about Maelor the Missing, how mad was he when a whole host of characters and subplots were missing from GOT and the rest were butchered?? I’m gonna guess pretty mad. but he had to surrender on that count because he hadn’t finished his books and D&D + everyone involved wanted the show to end.

HOTD was supposed to be different, and it sounds like it hasn’t been. Condal suggested that removing Maelor was only temporary, only now it looks like it wasn’t, and GRRM is annoyed about that - I think he feels lied to or left out of the loop, when that was exactly what he didn’t want this time. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was initially a plan to leave Daeron out similarly, because he was conspicuously unmentioned in S1 and the Daeron references in S2 were really shoehorned in seemingly at the last minute.

and GRRM has been saying he feels like perhaps he ought to stop caring and get on with the books (I would love it if he did) but he’s still so obviously annoyed about how his work has consistently been adapted poorly and that despite all promises he can’t do anything to stop it. especially as he’s apparently mentioned all this in connection with a growing consciousness of his age and his legacy, im gonna speculate that seeing adaptations like this is really grieving him. so i feel a little bad for team hotd because i think they’re really trying, but imo they aren’t doing a good job and even if GRRM’s expectations are too high sometimes, i think it’s been plain since the fall out from GOT that he is well worth listening to.

[bulkyphrase]

Cap-IM Rec Week - Time Travel Tuesday

Day 2 of @cap-ironman's rec week event! Today's list features stories where traveling through time turns out to be the cause of or solution to our heroes' problems.

Never Surrender, Never Give Up by Loran_Arameri, Serinah (@loraneldin, @serinah80) (MCU, Explicit, 85,896 words)

Summary: It’s 2029 and aliens have taken the Earth. Steve is dead, and everyone who’s left of the Avengers is fighting for the last few thousand humans. They don’t have much time, or rather the energy: the last of the arc reactors will fail in less than a month, and Tony can’t make another one. Their base will fall.The Earth’s best defender is out of options. *** Years they fought against the Chitauri, and they have lost. Steve is sure that Tony would agree: only traveling back in time could save them now. But Steve wasn't sure if he should, and now he's out of time so he takes one last, desperate gamble. When will he end up?

Circulaire by @gonetoarcadia (MCU, Mature, 38,412 words)

Summary: The world ends on a Wednesday. An anonymous invading force interested in nothing but destruction wipes out most of the world’s major urban centres within an hour. In the aftermath, with the few heroes left alive bitterly divided between moving forward or looking for a way back, Tony Stark and Steve Rogers set out to find out what happened, and make sure that it never does.

The rest are below the cut!

special dispensation by @jenthesweetie (MCU, Teen And Up Audiences, 673 words)

Summary: On the one hand, they’d all agreed that the quantum time machine was a dangerous technological advancement, only to be used under the most dire of circumstances. But on the other hand, it was Steve’s birthday.

Double Time by @sineala (616/Iron Man Noir, Explicit, 123,375 words)

Summary: Cassino, Italy, December 1943. Special Agent Tony Stark, former Marvels adventurer, is sent to investigate a Cosmic Cube found by the Invaders -- and it's the perfect opportunity for him to rekindle his secret romance with Steve Rogers. But when Hydra attempts to steal the Cube, an inadvertent wish for help leads to the appearance of a Tony from the future of another world: Director Stark of SHIELD. This Tony is a man with a lot on his mind. He refuses to tell them anything about the future, but he seems to know much more than he should about Captain America. And something's happened that's clearly killing him inside, but he's not talking. When Director Stark's failed attempt to return home leads to the unexpected appearance of another visitor from his universe, all the lies come undone. Now there are two wars to fight, and the second one could ruin all of them.

Relativistic Heat Conduction by @blossomsinthemist (616, Explicit, 69,298 words)

Summary: Age of Ultron-based, but not entirely canon compliant. Written for the 2013 Cap-Iron Man Reverse Big Bang. Ultron has attacked, obliterating most of the world's superheroes and resistance in a matter of hours. The remaining heroes band together and share what strength they have to get through it, to survive, and defeat Ultron once and for all. Steve Rogers grieves in the wake of the disaster and the heroes' defeat, and no one knows if he will be able to provide the leadership they need--but Tony Stark isn't about to let him slip away that easily. Also available as a podfic read by Pywren (@phyrrhicvictory)

More Than Gravity by @jenthesweetie (MCU, Teen And Up Audiences, 20,918 words)

Summary: “Aw, time travel, no.” On Christmas Eve, Tony came unstuck in time.

The God of Solid Life Advice by kehinki (MCU, Teen And Up Audiences, 1,583 words)

Summary: It's 2012. Steve is just informed by Loki that Bucky's alive. Loki also tells him some other things.

Man Out of Time by @samptra (MCU, Explicit, 39,017 words)

Summary: Closing dark eyes he tried to center his wildly gyrating thoughts. “This isn’t happening this isn’t real…” he wacked his head a few more times, “I did not go through a weird tear in the air again. There was no crazy terreract driven machine…and I defiantly did not go back in time.” This was all some sort of dream he was having a nightmare one that he’d awake from in his bed, in Avengers Tower, in the year 2013.

To Make Much of Time by @sineala (616, Teen And Up Audiences, 16,114 words)

Summary: When Iron Man rejects Steve's romantic advances, Steve is disappointed, but of course he understands -- Iron Man's secret identity is important. But when a portal opens and Tony Stark crashes into their midst from twelve years in the future, Steve starts to suspect that there are more secrets here than he can even begin to comprehend, and neither Iron Man nor Tony are providing any answers. Also available as a podfic read by @paraka

The Twice-Told Tale by @arysteia (MCU, Explicit, 15,789 words)

Summary: For someone he'd hero-worshipped for so long, Steve Rogers in the flesh is a pretty big disappointment. For one thing, he keeps looking at Tony as though he reminds him of someone else, and even if he never says anything, Tony's pretty sure it's his father. A lifetime of not measuring up to Howard's expectations is more than enough, thank you very much, and he's certainly not going to make an effort to live up to any of Steve's. Steve's pretty clearly failed to live up to his expectations, in any case, and that's not hypocritical at all.

[galacticleague]

speaking my truth on npmd because im thinking about this alot. i think the reason it falls flatter than tgwdlm and bf as a musical is that tgwdlm and bf have a running theme — want.

(whole thing undercut)

the cast of tgwdlm want human connection - charlotte wants sam to love her, bill wants alice to love him, mr davidson wants his wife to choke him while he jerks off etc etc, and eventually paul goes from 'i want what anyone wants, money, kids, a partner maybe idk' to - to put it simply - wanting emma (putting it very simply, if i went into detail this post would go off the rails). this switch is what makes him vulnerable to the hive and this want to live and to survive and to be happy with emma is satiated by pokey by giving him the connection he craves via hivemind, this is how it works for everyone. they want to be happy, pokey makes them happy by removing any need to want anything in the first place.

similarly, in bf, the adults of hatchetfield are still miserable and they want to be happy, they have this void within them that they feel they need to fill with products and consumerism. if they buy this stupid fucking doll their kids will love them, they will be happy, etc etc. and this want to be happy is similarly satiated by wiggly via the cult - they have something to worship, or - in lindas case - people who worship them. they have purpose, or at least they think they do, but whether their problems have actually been solved or not - they are still content.

but in npmd, this is less solid. theres that bit where they have to sacrifice what they want the most, but this is near the end. its kind of all over the place, and this wobbliness(?) is sort of just emphasised by the fact that there is no specific lord in black, its all of them. now i loved the summoning when i first watched it because im obviously a huge hatchetfield fan so i like. know who these characters are but as ive seen others say, alot of npmd does rely on knowing hatchetfield lore - understanding injokes. and in hindsight it just... isnt great for the cohesion of the plot.

tgwdlm and bf both have specific themes, specific lords in black, they have subplots but they have a solid throughline that is easier to follow. to me, npmd feels like its all over the place and it just feels kind of...mid for lack of a better word.

i think there were some moments that were just kind jarring? i guess? like if i loved you coming directly after ruths death was really strange, tonally. i wish they spent more time on ruths death tbh she deserved better. richie got two songs and an opening scene. anyways i digress- i feel like whenever i think about it im always like. i just wanted More. which is weird cuz its already like 2 hours long but idk. IDK!!! if i loved definitely felt unnecessary to me- like just conflict out of nowhere. i would have liked more build up to it. maybe im just salty that it took up stagetime that could have been used to grieve ruth but. sorry for the random if i loved you slander i think my point here is that some moments and some subplots felt more tropey, injokey or like fanservice??but not in a sexual way?? - is that the right word to use idk - than actual compelling plot moments. tgwdlm is an incredible work of theatre and uses subversions of tropes to communicate a great story, bf is a detailed criticism of american consumerism and how capitalistic societies force people to rely on products to make their lives better, npmd is. high school drama with ghosts. it just doesnt hit as hard on its own.

i dont want to be one of those "im a better writer, and THIS is how i would have done it!!!! im going to fix this!!!" people so im not going to do that but i think something i would have liked to see was focus on just one lord in black, probably nibbly because i feel like he fits the most and has the least preexisting story. i mean for gods sake, why does wiggly have the most speech time out of all the lords in black again!!! he already has an entire musical about him!!! greedy bitch- well i guess thats kind of his thing. i think i just want to see more of nibbly tbh, he has one nmt story and he only shows up at the very end. anyways that was kind of a side rant sorry gang. there isnt a problem with having a story featuring all the lords in black, but i think it just doesnt quite work in npmd for like structural reasons as well as plot cohesion.

i did enjoy npmd, im not pretending i didnt, but narratively it is the weakest hatchetfield musical and i just wanted to put my finger on what it is specifically. please dont take this as like hate or slander, i am a huge starkid fan, but i think it is important to consume media critically.

also i am not a professional i am a teenage drama and english lit student who likes media analysis and narrative design so just. take everything i say with a grain of salt :)

if you read all this, thankyou and if you disagree please lmk what you think(civilly.i do not want discourse in my notes)!! i could be hugely wrong about this and just need to think more about npmd and id love to see others' analyses!

[pommunist]

Saw this QSMP crit on twt of how Koreans are treated by the management and man, I didn't even know some of those problems existed. Of course Korean streamers often get the short end in terms of times, but also Chunsik might not speak fluent Korean, which isn't the actor's fault at all, but definitely shows a lack of prep on the management side of things. Heres the link:

op is making a lot of great points in their tweet, and it really sucks that the koreans had to join in such conditions tbh ❤️‍🩹

for chi s’il if i remember correctly (apologies if im wrong bc i haven’t watched qsmp since early larch so i didn’t see a lot of him) his admin wasn’t a native korean speaker the first day and then was replaced with one ? but even if that’s the case they should have had a fluent korean speaker and even ideally a korean actor for him from the start for all the reasons op mentioned

for the timezones i get that it’s gonna be hard to have perfect even hours for everyone since with the koreans arrivals, the ccs are now in a very wide variety of timezones but still ! especially since it was already an issue when the french arrived and even before that spanish ccs and fans had issues with logging on when no one else was on. it could have been solved by adding a bigger batch of ccs from other asian countries/ any countries that are closer timezone wise to korea.

same with letshugo entering it’s kinda weird to me that he was the only german speaker ? ofc qsmp’s goals are to share languages but it still would have been better to have multiple german speakers on

also kinda irrelevant now because of the state of the updates accs but the qsmp twitters don’t link to the qsmpkor acc like they do for the eng/es/fr/pt/global ones so not really helping linking the korean side of the fandom with the rest either

generally yeah the koreans + hugo really joined in bad conditions at the most unfortunate time, once again we’re left grieving what could have been if things had been handled better behind the scenes (obv this is not neg towards the admins, only towards those who make the Big Decisions)

[elisacaleisa]

People say I am a big brain. Idk about any of those things but to that I say: have one more again. This one is weaker but you get it, same thing as the ones before

Jax's Personality Swap AU (4)

Pipeline: Elliott > Morgan > Vega > Regulus > Caelum > Camelopardalis > Hush > Elliott

Elliott > Morgan

Hopeless Seer

- ok but childhood friend seer cooks

- Morgan is a deeply caring person

- Seer Obscura gets a nickname: Dreamer

- "dreamer... I've been calling you that for ten years. maybe more, heh."

- the softest boy ever, he is a walking teddy bear

- "I've realized... we will never reach the future, but we will always live in the present. it's the time, that changes. the time changes us"

- slow burn perhaps? But...

- "dreamer... i... I'm sorry, it's just... You're so warm and... i wish to hold you. please."

- he is alone in this world. it's just you, that keeps him alive. he doesn't have hope for this planet, but you are his world.

- he sleeps, eats, walks on the path, that was established for him since he was born. But you... You became his future...

- he craves you as a lover, but is afraid to lose you as a friend

----

Morgan > Vega

Melancholic Demon

- sigh trademark

- "... what do you want, warden? Cant you see im grieving for my pet?"

- you ask many questions, but barely get any answers around of him

- he only talks to you out of everyone

- "why? heh. Dumb question, warden."

- you still ask anyway. he laughs. full of pain

- "did you kill my pet, warden?"

- what? What is he talking about? And why would you do that...

- vega turns his back to you. Until you confess, he says

- he has been in here for a long time. maybe it was someone from the past and he can't live in the present.

- he wants his pet back. he wants noone else but them. but you dont know who that was...

----

Vega > Regulus

Raging Fallen Daemon

- he is pretty pissed i imagine

- "if i can't have you, no-one can."

- OH HE KIDNAPS YOU

- he is angry, upset, but never alone. Now that he found you.

- everyone is looking for you two

- "precious, don't leave"

- you try to resist, but he is in your head now

- and you dont. You listen. You are now his company. He never stops holding your hand.

(jax note: this specific swap might be edited or completely reworked later)

----

Regulus > Caelum

Self-claimed Prince Daemon

- Was Polaris' greatest student, perhaps that got into his brain a bit,,

- this is a headcanon fun bit of what if Regulus wasnt fallen and was Leo constellation, so enjoy!

- he is all huffy and puffy at first

- "hey! Wake up! You do not sleep on Caelum like that!" owie! Did he just hit you by a pillow??

- "you are awake. Good. Now up! We have so much to do!" god what is this flying pipsqueak?

- "pipsqueak?! I beg your pardon?? I am Caelum, an empathy daemon and now, you are my charge! Simple to understand, now chop chop! Clean your face and ugh... Please, wear some clean clothes, looks like you didnt change for three days. We have to fix that! Coooomeeeee ooooonnnnn!!" okay he is pulling you from the bed. You cant win here freelancer

- he sounds like a spoiled brat and he maybe is, but slowly by time, you get to know him more and see that he is just a little guy with a job and heart on the right place. His methods can be dramatic, but he means well

- he says that you are ready for D.A.M.N., that the hidden talent in you is more than just your powers.

- "i think Gavin will help us here. He is a bit stupid, but he always gives me cookies!" blunt much, Caelum?

----

Caelum > Cam

Bubbly Serenity Daemon

- always so curious about human culture, both old and modern

- he especially likes bubbles

- "wow, how fascinating... this is truly wonderful!" he loves colors too

- "e-ehm, pardon my, uh... excitement. My name is C-Cam-Cam-Camelopardalis and i am your today's... wait, no, that doesn't make sense... does it?"

- he is a very polite, kind guy. he tries to always help, he just had a problem put words to the correct order (me fr)

- he loves walking outside in the sun. He is like a cat - he likes sunbathing and is kinda afraid of water (hmmm)

- he is a very tall guy, always hits himself in the head, god bless,,,

- he just stands out by how pretty and tall he is

- he writes little notes about his clients, mostly positive ones with stars and hearts! Perhaps mostly about you

- the walls of his office are full of fun stuff, like globe, astrology maps of constellations, dreamcatchers, oil paintings, etc.

- "i... i cant believe i found a friend between humans... thank you."

----

Cam > Hush

Soothing Entity

- you dont know who he is, what he is, but he is following you for days like a lost cat. Something about you is... attracting him. He wants to be near you.

- he is always sitting in your window, watching, but never daring to take a step inside

- "what are you doing?" he finally asks, after days of just watching you.

- "you're always here. And im always waiting" but for what? You ask

- "i dont know, doctor." and he goes to rest.

- you believe thats not true and you might be right. He seems to be hiding.

- there are demons around your place, around Dahlia. It drives you insane. You feel afraid. What are even those guys doing here? You did nothing wrong, right?

- and with hush, it got worse...

- "please, dont be afraid of me, doctor. I'm here for you. Please, doctor."

(jax note: this one might be changed too)

----

Hush > Elliott

Unknown Dreamwalker

- you didnt have to do any of this. You could've just leave him there, you could've had a normal life. Normal in rubbish and loneliness, but...

- just look at him. He is not normal. He is a fucking... superhero?? Supervillain??

- "sunshine..." oh yeah and that dumb nickname. Better than a nightmare, but... why does he looks at you that way??

- "I'm grateful." yeah yeah

- apparently, those guys are from some department he escaped. He was always an orphan, somehow sneaked into a normal orphanage and got adopted, but a mess happened and now... You dont understand any of it

(jax note: i just didnt have more ideas but take it as Elliott being mysterious /j)

[quinntell]

Hi so uh little rant 

(I am absolutely terrible at grammar and such so if it’s fucked up don’t mind it please)

Ok so I’ve noticed how no one talks about how /fit/ is alone, like /no one/ really talks about it. I think the reason the characters and the viewers and even q!fit himself overlooks it is because q!fit has always been alone. Pac is used to company, and when mike his platonic soulmate and richarlyson his child went missing he wasn’t used to it. The comfort that he had known most his life was taken from him so suddenly. But with fit he has always been alone so there would be no reason for him to be hit so hard by all of this right? WRONG. my man was in a wasteland where the moment you got attached to something it was gone, and then he came to a place that’s wasn’t so hardcore and He was not only allowed but  ordered to take care of something, he was hesitant and a little annoyed at how he had to take care of some egg he was just supposed to complete his mission and finally have at least a little peace , but slowly he started to get attached to the little boy and eventually that kid became /his son/. But then his partner, the man he was supposed to team up with, the man who was supposed to be his partner in parenting their child left without even a goodbye or a real reason as to why he left so he had to tell his son and everyone on the damned island that he left to get cigarettes. Of course fit isn’t really all that bothered by it, I mean he’s used to being alone and he barely knew that guy. But still…maybe he should monitor his future friends. just to make sure they don’t dump their responsibility’s on him of course. But time goes by and he for the most part forgets his absent partner. 

Then his son loses his first life. 

And then it became Ramon before the mission. He would never say it fully out loud but he would give up the mission and just about everything for that kid, it was /his/ kid, dragon be damned and he wasn’t going to let this kid be alone. He wasn’t going to let his kid be alone. 

And then more time passes, everything is fairly quiet and normal, well as normal as quesadilla island can be, yes he don was kidnapped once but all it took to get him back was a weak dungeon it was nothing

Then he was told his son would leave and never come back. He was told he had only had 6 days left with Ramon from a fairly traumatizing video. And he’ll be damned if he doesn’t make those 6 days count. 

Then the 6 days pass and he accepts that he will be alone once again. And he goes through the day grieving but pushing on, moving forward and so on. Besides he doesn’t have time to dwell since there are new members here, most of them don’t seem like they will be that much of a problem, and there are two who seem to be fans of his work he did while at 2b2t one of them seems particularly nice

And guess what! His son is back, Ramon is back! He’s not alone! But now his son is cracked. He needs to be extra careful now especially with the so called ‘federation’ that claims the kids were returned safely 

More time passes, and his son is a fairly good engineer! All is (for the most part) well , he’s making friends with those two Brazilians (known as tazercraft) and they tired out to be quite the trouble makers, he doesn’t fully trust them but they are friends- real friends not just ones he has to be friends with in order to make his mission easier 

Ok I realize im ranting too much so I’ll sum it up

Fit is supposed to be used to being alone, but it slowly starts to get to him, he’s starting to not be used to being alone to the point he now has separation anxiety instantly, almost everyone he has genuinely cared for on this island has disappeared or been kidnapped at least once, and he can’t take it anymore, he’s trying his best to go back to not caring but he’s getting closer and closer to a particular Brazilian (pac) and he’s not sure what to do, he said he’d take baby steps but even those seem too fast, and now his son and everyone else’s is gone, and they have no clue where they are and only a bit of a clue if they are ok. 

But I’m just saying that without Ramon, if we don’t count pac fit is alone, him and phill are friends but he’s not close enough to tell him about his mission and the same goes to tubbo, especially tubbo actually, since the kid is a big trouble maker (be it on purpose or accident) and has his own suspicions on fit himself

Pac has the other favela members but fit has no one is what I’m trying to say 

[madohomo]

its my golden bday babyy i am 29 on the 29th today

life updates under the cut!!

i feel like my lifes been going 1000mph for a while now but some notable moments

- i got my masters degree and it was the hardest thing ive ever done honestly i didn't think i was gonna make it but my degree is in applied biosciences!! im v passionate abt a lot of science research so im excited to see where that takes me.

- im a homeowner now !! living w my 3 siblings and splitting a mortgage and its honestly so nice. the house so lovely and ive been through so much roommate hell in the past decade so its been nice to have housing security and ppl i can count on. house is kind of a zoo with so many animals though (2 cats, cockatiel, snake, axolotl, fish & coral) but we make it work

- I'm still working in clinical research as a coordinator on the only NIH funded long covid trial and it's been kind of brutal. not just because of the topic and the study itself being all over the fucking place, but they recently fucked me over financially and now I'm pretty much stuck working there until at least early next year.. but it does feel cool to contribute to such important research that is going to affect millions of people! I've been working on covid studies since summer of 2020 on both treatments and vaccines and now long covid. so I'm pretty burnt out but grateful that I've learned so much about how to protect myself and my loved ones because I'm pretty much the only person I know that still hasn't gotten covid yet. please PLEASE continue to mask, most importantly protect your face holes, and care for each other because everything we know so far is so horrific and we still have very little in terms of treatment options. the future is really looking so grim tbh.

- since October of last year I've been pretty involved in local organizing centered around Palestine. since then and especially during the international call for encampments I've really gotten to know a lot of amazing people who inspire me and remind me that a better world really is possible and we can really fucking build it ourselves. I feel like I've spent a really large portion of my twenties grieving my future because of climate catastrophe and endless war. but for the first time I feel safe and hopeful. I really encourage everyone to connect with your local organizations, meet people and get involved because getting connected and organized is really the only solution to every problem we face and if you're like me and feel existential dread on the daily, this is the best solution.

- and speaking of the friends and comrades we met along the way... I just want to talk about how much I love my friends and the people around me because I would have never made it to 29 without you. I love my local sapphic squad That makes that drained social battery go back to being full. and I love love all my out-of-state friends who continue to talk to me and want to be in my life still despite the distance!! I'm literally flying out tomorrow and seeing East Coast friends I started hanging out with during Homestuck days back in 2013 and now 11 years later. we're still planning shit together.

[cult-of-the-eye]

If you had to kill one archivas assistant, who would you pick?

Oh my god this is the worst question in the entire fucking world wow!!! I love all of them!!!!

But I'm gonna answer it from a potential for Angst kinda way and which one I'd find the most interesting.

Sasha

Well first things first she did die but we're ignoring that for the sake of this question

If everyone realised she died directly after the Jane Prentiss Attack i think it would eliminate the added layer of guilt of not noticing her being taken by the Not Them and maybe allow them each to grieve a bit more? I think if they were smacked in the face with Sasha's death, then they could communally grieve before Tim got massively resentful and maybe Jon would be distracted by the grief to fall into his paranoia as intensely and actually try to support Tim instead. I guess it's a sad world where we're choosing between one type of death for Sasha and another but here we are.

Tim:

I know that hes gonna die but I haven't gotten there yet so I'm gonna imagine what would happen if he died in the Jane Prentiss Attack instead of Sasha. Sasha wouldn't have the same resentment and fury that Tim has, I feel like she'd would be determined to avenge Tim, I think she'd be a better protagonist than Jon, which would cause him extra Jon Guilt cause he'd be like why am I the leader of this whole thing Sasha would've been so much better than meeee and Sasha would eventually be like yeah bitch get out of my way. Sasha being alive would actually solve so many problems like actually. RIP Tim though, everyone would mourn his bisexual ass. Jon and Martin would grieve him normally and Sasha might make them go to therapy/talk to someone about it.

Martin:

If he died during the Prentiss Attack, he'd come back as a ghost. There's no other option, that's just what has to happen. Maybe it would be a chance for slight humour, cause Jon resolutely believed he's hallucinating for an embarrassingly long time before Martin's like nah bro...im a ghost. And he keeps Martin's reappearance to himself cause he wants something good for himself that no one can take away and they get closer and fall in love and everything but there's the added angst that he's a literal fucking ghost. The whole Peter Lukas arc is him slowly fading away as a ghost and Jon nearly kills himself to bring him back. In the end he does stab himself but he feels Martin push the knife in when he dies and he dies knowing that he'll join him.

Or alternatively, he's just gone. Jon would spiral with guilt and anxiety knowing that his last conversation with him doesn't excuse his poor treatment of him and that he died getting cut off from the others in the tunnels, he died scared and alone and worse, he died with the little bit of hope that things might get better. Tim and Sasha would both be devastated, they'd stare out at his empty desk and lash out with anger and fear and cry but in the end at least have each other to lean on. But Jon would be alone in his office with no one to give him tea. His physical health spirals and everyone's worried about him, the way Sasha and Tim have stuck together makes him even more paranoid that they somehow killed Gertrude together and no matter how soft with him they are, he still barrells towards the end with an even stronger need to martyr himself. It's bleak guys. My man is not ok.

So I guess if I could kill one of them off, I'd probably go for Tim's death cause Sasha being a better horror protagonist than Jon is actually so funny to me I think that would be so interesting but Ghost!Martin as a close second cause that would actually add so much depth.

Thank you for your ask!! I really enjoyed answering it!!

[liquidstar]

april fools is over so now im going to be slash srs instead of slash j. im going to post a little excerpt from one of the oc writing practices ive been doing :) again im not super experienced for a variety of reasons but im doing my best here.

but im going to try and put my self conciousness to the side (thats probably an important part of the practice too, right?) since this isnt final version either way, i can just say im sharing a WIP! so for now it will go the way of most of my other oc stuff..... under the cut

the only context you need is that this would be the opening scene for the story. if i post others i'll have to give more context bc most of them are taken from the middle of something. anyway here goes:

-----

“I love you

I've loved you since the beginning

From when you were only stardust

To when you will rejoin the stars

When everyone will be together again

Understand, you don’t simply live in the universe

You are part of it, taking on a form uniquely alive

You are the universe giving love back to itself

I love you so much”

“Wait!!!”

A lone girl jolts awake, crying a plea into the empty air. Tears stream down her cheeks, as she calls for someone she doesn't know. Her heart aches with a nameless yearning that fades with the memory of her dream. Still, against her will, the emotions linger. A profound sense of love consumes her, an agonizing, grieving love, meant for her. She sighs and wipes away her tears. It was an absurd dream, a ridiculous notion.

As her conscious mind clears, she takes in her surroundings; a forest drowned in the pale blue light of dawn. Her sleeping bag, now encased in dew, was laid on the cold grass. She sits for a while, gazing at the faint sliver of the rising sun’s glow with an indistinct expression, and eventually stands up.

The lone girl begins her daily routine by braiding her hair. With a wave of her hand, she freezes dew on a rock, creating herself a mirror. Her fingers carefully weave her brown locks into a braid, now adorned with a snowflake clip and a scarlet ribbon. She throws on a long blue half-skirt over her shorts, matching her shirt. She forces on a pair of black boots and cuffs on her arm. Lastly, she grabs a moon-themed spear, and she's ready for the day.

Before setting off, she made sure to pack all her belongings, including her numerous hand-drawn maps and a compass. However, she also stops to look into the bag deeper, foolishly expecting to find something new. Instead, she only sighs, "Still no food."

She puts on the backpack and trudges forward anyway, ignoring the hunger pains as best she can. She hums to keep herself distracted.

As she walks, the trees tower above her, shrouding the horizon and taunting her. Birds occasionally fly into view, but seem to disappear in an instant. She wonders if her eyes are playing tricks on her.

The lone girl scribbles on her maps, trying to record a labyrinth of identical tree trunks and twisted paths. This proves useless, as this elliptical forest has her going in circles. Exasperated, she fidgets with her compass, only to see the needle is frantically twitching around. She presses it gently to her forehead and quietly complains, “Don't tell me you're broken…”

Her train of thought was cut short by the sudden sound of running water, so loud she can’t fathom how she’s only now begun to hear it. She decided to put off one problem for another. Following the sound through some shrubs, she quickly finds the source.

Her spear at the ready, she approaches the stream. Scanning its depths for signs of fish, she walks cautiously. Her posture was awkward, her expression was uncertain, betraying her lack of experience. She held her spear to her chest with both arms as she encroached the water’s edge.

She inhales in preparation, removes her skirt and boots, and enters the water with slow, careful steps. The very surface of the stream begins to freeze as it makes contact with her skin. Tiny, thin crystals of ice form as she steps further in. Breathing deeper, as she tries to control the frost, she makes her way to the center of the stream. She stands waiting for fish.

Rather than throwing her spear to hunt, like the intended purpose, she stabs at the water. She’s not good at this, however, and only ends up scaring other potential prey away. She makes several attempts at this but is unsuccessful each time. Refusing to quit, her repeated strikes become more desperate and uncoordinated with each failure. Her growing frustration only makes the water freeze deeper, eventually solidifying around her legs. She yelps, now in a panic, and begins to frantically stab at the ice to free herself.

A mess.

Escaping this ordeal, the lone girl abandons any further attempt at fishing. It probably isn't her calling anyway. She trudges on, lost, wet, cold, and hungry.

She looks at her compass again, her face reflecting in its glass. “You're broken,” she tiredly states, as she feels her eyes begin to well with tears.

“No! No no no! Don't cry! Don't cry Polaris,” The lone girl, Polaris, reassures herself, “Last time you cried you froze your eyelids shut, and that really hurt,” She whines aloud.

Polaris takes a deep breath, slaps her cheeks, and swallows her tears. She elects to follow the river, her only hope of escape, pursuing the promise of a village just beyond this enigmatic forest. She daydreams of a warm meal in a cozy restaurant, and maybe a cold desert too. A glimmer of determination returns to her stride, as she continues her hum from before.

[elderdragonblu]

Spoilers for the first two episodes of the new Life is a strange game so if you don’t want to see this then please scroll past to the bottom for my note :)

Sorry if it’s ranty I’m passionate

I absolutely hate how they took the game. In most parts.

My opinion of it is that the game and environment are so cool. Like the characters are cool and like the people and the college are interesting, but they shouldn’t have used max Caulfield for their main character. It’s what the original developers wanted and to have he in this new environment in a way that makes it feel unnatural to her character

Speaking of which. Her and Chloe’s breakup is entirely out of character for both, but Chloe especially. Chloe sending a letter and saying Max needs to stop living in the past and that she hopes she’ll live in the future with someone else?? GIRL. After we kill the whole town for you?? That’s not a trauma that takes a day to heal she probably didn’t have therapy road-tripping and how can she? Shes time traveling, what the fuck is she even supposed to say? Not to mention Chloe was stuck in the past when Max got to her with her father. Not that she can’t grieve for her dead dad, but jfc make the breakup believable. Chloe out of everyone should be able to understand MAX’S POSITION.

The texts messages are also weird? Like Chloe is a mix between immature and mature and tbf I haven’t seen much of them, but they’re just so weird. I won’t speak further, but it feels like… idk, the writers are fighting to figure out what they want with her. (Sidenote the desert picture got of her green hair and I personally fucked with it so).

Also people claiming that Victoria and Chloe are flirting are a jumping a little overboard. I’ve seen it only once and honestly like, maybe it is flirting, but I think it could also just as much be a hangout. Don’t take my word for it, tho. I’m not the most qualified to be talking so.

That’s partially why I think choosing Chloe’s death is just the easier option. Because they butchered her character so bad post-bae ending that I’d rather have Chloe dead and go date some other chick bc fuck that. I’d rather have an in character Max mourning the lost love of her life and what she had to give up then out of character Chloe breaking things off with Max.

Speaking of the new love interest, the only positive thing I’ll say on that and most of the game is that I actually really like Amanda. She seems really sweet. I like the characters, I like how they talk with Max. I wasn’t a huge fan of them earlier, but I think my issues were mostly that they felt like replacements of the old cast, which in some parts are true. I do like the dynamic, tho, and I do enjoy that Max is secretive abt her past and herself. Especially the trauma, it feels in character in some aspects.

I haven’t gotten far into the game, only most of chistes 1. So I won’t speak on the story much, but I have seen some characters that parallel Nathan and Jefferson so that’s making me worried. I just don’t want them to, and they’re already doing it, to just put life is strange 1 in front of us in a different font and that’s more expensive.

The close and style of Max have grown a little. I personally liked what they were building in the game and the comics. It’s not a huge deal to me, but I thought those styles helped stand out as a main character. Then again she’s essentially thirty I think in the game so maybe I’ll cut her some slack.

SPOILER END

As always, tho, please don’t harass anyone over the game. If they like it, that’s awesome!! Lis1 was a shit show in story too at times, im not saying the games are cinematic masterpieces. My problem is when creators take beloved characters and butcher their entire characters. Max and Chloe were fine before they were messed with. They were never meant to have a game after the storm for a reason. I wish they would’ve respected that.

However, I’ll be following the development of the game and probably write fix it fics again 💀