#im gonna write about the silly mfers to cope

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Yuu can do it!

Part 63

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Hm.

So. Ito has been kidnapped.

That is certainly…

Hm.

They ran a hand through their hair, glancing back at the door they had been shoved through. It hadn’t locked behind them, which wasn’t all that surprising considering John had been apologizing the entire time he’d dragged them here. He was, at least, pretending to feel bad, which meant the unlocked door was a must.

They could hear John getting comfortable on the other side. Opening the door would force him to lock it for appearance's sake, which would make escaping much harder.

But, of course, if he locked it, then people probably wouldn’t be on guard…

Damn. Why hadn’t they asked Deuce to teach them lockpicking?! They carried bobby pins everywhere they went, they could have been in and out so quickly.

Ito sighed, setting Grim on the bed.

Grim looked up at them with wide eyes. “What do we do?”

“Uhhhhhh…” said Ito, glancing at the door. If they could hear John shifting around outside, then John could hear anything they said, too. “I don’t know, yet.”

It was a great excuse for not saying anything. Because they, in fact, truly did not know yet.

They pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “Why don’t you sleep for a bit? I’ll try to think of something while you’re out, yeah?”

Grim hesitated. “Are you sure, henchman? I can always blow the door down.”

“Call that Plan B. You know I like being a little more subtle than that,” Ito placated.

Grim seemed a little bit dubious about the whole thing, but the bed underneath him was soft, and he drifted off pretty quickly.

Ito smiled, softly, stroking a hand down his back, to make sure he was really asleep.

And then they turned to the room at large, their smile dropping.

It was a simple guest room with an en suite bathroom. Pretending to need to Go and escaping somewhere along the way was out of the question.

It was a few stories up, and the windows didn’t open, so making a great escape through a window wasn’t possible, either.

Ugh.

Ito’s eyes flicked to the mirror on the wardrobe.

They… hadn’t gotten their hands on an actual mirror since they’d gotten to Twisted Wonderland.

They approached it, slowly, almost scared of what they would see.

But it was just… them.

They weren’t sure why, but they had been expecting some kind of change. For their face to not be their own. To be unrecognizable.

They were a little thinner, they supposed, but they had had less access to food, so that wasn’t all that surprising. Their face was less well-maintained, there were a few pieces of hair between their brows that they hadn’t caught, and a few above their lips that they had missed.

They met their own eyes, briefly, and recoiled just slightly.

Had their eyes always been quite that dark? Were they actually dull and lifeless? When people looked at them, did they, too, get the impression that there was nothing staring back?

It was stupid. They knew there was someone in there – they wouldn’t be thinking if there wasn’t. They were being paranoid, looking for some kind of confirmation.

They shivered, just slightly.

And then they hooked their hand around the frame and yanked on the mirror.

They stepped to the side, watching dispassionately as the mirror hit the ground.

“Oh – oh my God!” Ito gasped, kneeling down to clean up.

John burst into the room. A hand grabbed Ito by the back of their shirt and yanked them away from the mirror shards.

“You’ll hurt yourself!” John snapped. “Let me do it.”

Ito nodded, watching through their bangs as John swept the glass away with a gust of wind magic, hugging themself.

“I don’t know what happened!” Ito said, forcing their voice higher. “I was just trying to – to – preen a little and it just fell!”

John led the broken pieces of the mirror out the door, before sending them a placating smile. “Don’t worry about it. Are you okay?”

They nodded jerkily.

“And your familiar, is he –?” He glanced at Grim. “How is he still asleep?”

“Honestly? No clue,” Ito said, careful to keep their smile tinged with nerves.

John sighed, softly, running a hand through his hair, fox ears just barely twitching upon his head. “Well, I guess it’s fine. Just… be more careful, yeah?”

Ito nodded again.

They watched him leave once again. Absently, they wondered where he would dispose of the mirror. Would it give them enough time to run? They hadn’t seen any trash cans along the way.

But, to escape, they would have to run up the stairs, and Ito was far less used to the trek than the Scarabia students.

Man…

Ito flopped back on the bed beside Grim, dragging one of their hands out from beneath their armpits. They lifted the mirror shard in their fist, glaring up at it. It was relatively big, but it wouldn’t do them much good unless they were prepared to stab someone.

Which they wouldn’t do. Unless it was necessary, of course. And they doubted it would be. But it still gave them a sense of comfort.

They, slowly, pulled their phone from their pocket.

Let’s see…

They tapped on the one labeled ‘Birdman /neg’ (it seems like Kuroki had renamed all of the contacts) and brought their phone to their ear.

“Hello, you’ve reached Dire Crowley.”

“Crowleyyyyy, I’ve been kidnapped,” Ito whined.

Crowley made a sound not unlike choking on air. “By who?”

(Ito was pretty sure they heard him mutter the words “Why didn’t I think of that?”, but they were going to ignore that.)

“Scarabia. Kalim-senpai’s having some sort of – I dunno – mental break…? And now I’m stuck here.”

“But you have your phone? Are they treating you poorly?”

“They’re gonna make me do a march in the desert, and a bunch of extra homework,” Ito said. “Can you deal with it? Pleaaaase?”

Crowley was quiet for a moment more.

“... well, you know, had you just agreed to come along with me for vaca – investigation, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Oh, you petty bitch.

Ito tipped their head back in a groan. “Alright. Fine. I’ll tell you if they try to, like, kill me or something. In the meantime, I guess it’s my problem, not yours. Bye.”

“Byebye!” Crowley said.

Ito hung up, glaring at the ceiling as they thought.

Alright. Plan… well, not Plan B, that was the Grim-blows-shit-up plan. Which Ito would totally circle back to if worse comes to worst. But, for now, Ito was moving on to Plan C.

Making it Crowley’s problem Pt2.

Also known as: weaponizing their friend group.

Ito picked one named ‘Public Enemy #1’.

“Yea’h’llo?” Ace said. He didn’t sound entirely awake. Ito recalled, suddenly, that the Queendom was a few hours ahead. Whoops.

Oh well. He was awake, now, so…

“Ace! Remember how you said that we should call you if something happened?”

“Yeeesssss?” he said, suddenly much more alert.

“Well. You see. I’ve kinda been kidnapped. And the Headmaster sucks, y’know?”

Was Ito implying that the Headmaster was the one who had kidnapped them? Perhaps. But they hadn’t said it outright, which meant, technically, they weren’t lying!

Ace was quiet.

“Where’s Crowley?”

Ito rattled off the man’s vacation details with ease. They crossed one leg over the other, absently bouncing their foot. “So, you know that, if you say his name, he’ll hear what you say, right? He knows you’re going to go after him.”

“Good.”

Hm. Ace might actually kill Crowley.

Or Ito, when he figured out they were leaving out information.

Or both of them, honestly.

Eh.

Ace needed to find Crowley to get the Dark Mirror open, anyway. Sending him after Crowley was the only way to get him back to campus, as far as they knew, since all of the trams from the school to the village at the base of the mountain would be down for the break… unless Ace wanted to climb the mountain or something, which Ito doubted.

“Great. See you later!” Ito said, cheerfully.

Ace hung up before they could. And without even saying goodbye! How rude.

They pouted. Absently, they scrolled through their contacts again. They could call ‘2 cool for skool’ or ‘Alpha Male Podcaster’, but they were pretty sure Ace would fill them in anyways and, if he didn’t, then Ito figured the two of them should be allowed to enjoy their break.

More importantly, they didn’t want to interrupt their friends’ sleep, so it seems they were moving on to ‘Octopussy Gang’.

“Ito-san!” Azul said, before the phone had rang even once.

There was yelling in the background.

Ito blinked. “I thought this was Floyd Leech-senpai’s number.”

“It is! But! I need you to tell your friends that you’re alright, and on your way home, please. I’m putting you on speaker –.”

“–  FUCKING GIVE ME THE PHONE, AZUL.”

Ito snorted. Ah. So, that’s what was going on in the background.

“You’re doing alright, yes, Ito-san?” Azul prompted, sounding like he was speaking through gritted teeth.

Ito hummed lightly. “Yeah. Doing great.”

“Great, so you two can calm –.”

“I mean. Scarabia kidnapped me, but y’know. The food is nice and the room is free, so I’m dealing.”

“WHAT.”

There were several overlapping voices on the other end of the line after that, a loud BANG!, and then things went more-or-less quiet.

Someone was breathing hard into the mic.

Enma, apparently, because he said, “Hey, Ito. Anything we need to know before we come get you?”

“Did you kill him?” Ito said, flatly. “Because I’m pretty sure phone calls can be recovered as evidence. We cannot go to jail.”

“Nah, he’s… fine-ish.”

Ito decided that was good enough.

“Uhhh. The entrance to the dorm is right next to the mirror. Say fa-ta-ha. Also, the ceiling will have bugs on it.”

Enma sighed, softly. Ito could practically see the way he pinched the space between his brows. “The things I do for you.”

Ito felt their face warm. “M…hmm… thanks.”

“See you soon,” Enma promised.

“See you,” Ito echoed.

“Here’s your phone, senpai,” Enma said, his voice so very sweet.

There was a beat as the phone was handed off.

“Did you not hear me tell you to inform your friends you were doing fine?” Azul asked.

“I did say that,” Ito reminded him, frowning. “I just also ‘informed’ them that I had been kidnapped right after, so they didn’t pay much attention to that.”

Azul hung up.

Ito’s mouth dropped open.

What is wrong with the kids in this world?!

They turned off the phone, sulking, turning onto their side to drag Grim into their chest. This was terrible. They had been kidnapped, and hung up on (twice!), and there was a mirror shard pressed uncomfortably against the side of their stomach. Truly, this was the worst possible dimension.

Grim turned over in their arms, burrowing into the fabric of their shirt.

Awwwww.

Okay. There were some good things about being in this dimension. They supposed.

They let their eyes slip closed, allowing themself to drift for a while.

Not to sleep, they didn’t want to miss it when Enma and Kuroki got there, but drifting nonetheless.

They could spend the time thinking, of course, but, frankly, they hated what their mind always circled back to:

What did it matter, if they accepted this world or not, if they couldn’t go home, anyway?

What was the point in trying to change things, if everything was predetermined from the moment they’d come here?

How were they supposed to care about anything, when nothing was real?

Why were they still playing along?

But Ito preferred to let those kinds of thoughts pass them by.

It was nice, sometimes, to simply not Be. To let their eyes glaze over and their expression go slack and let their mind simply slip out of their head. To focus on making sure their breathing – which they were, unfortunately, extremely aware of – was as even as they could make it.

Because, again, there was no point in doing anything here. Things were going to go however they were going to go regardless of whether Ito wanted them to, so they might as well sit back and let things do what they wanted. Less stressful that way.

Perhaps a little more depressing, but everyone has to make tradeoffs from time to time.

Hm. Another thing to Not Think About.

It took about an hour for them to hear voices coming down the hall.

“– we could steal their weird-as-hell golden toaster, and then sell it to buy a normal toaster and bread to toast,” Kuroki said, laughing maniacally.

“Er,” said John. “I can hear you, you know.”

“No, you can’t,” Enma said.

“Hear what?” Kuroki blatantly gaslit the poor guy. “Are you sure you’re not having a psychotic break? They tend to happen when you’re stressed out, you know.”

“The Headmaster should really get someone on campus to deal with people’s mental issues,” Enma agreed.

“... so, Ito-san is in this room here,” John said, apparently deciding to ignore all of that, and Ito blinked their eyes open just in time to watch the door fling itself open.

Ito sat up, still hugging Grim to their chest, smiling at their friends. “Hey, guys.”

Kuroki trudged over and damn near collapsed on top of them, sending them right back into the plush mattress. “So many stairs…”

“You were going downstairs, shouldn’t it have been fine?”

“It’s so hoooooot,” complained Kuroki. Regardless of his complaints, he pressed against Ito’s side and hung on like a limpet. So it couldn’t have been too bad.

Ito hummed. “Not made for winter or summer, huh?”

Kuroki gave a huff of annoyance. This wasn’t an answer, but they were happy to let it be.

Ito looked up at Enma. “How’re you feeling?”

“Traumatized,” he deadpanned. “Those… bugs…”

“I appreciate you,” Ito said, softly.

Enma crossed his arms over his chest. The tips of his ears tinted red. “You owe me.”

“I do,” they agreed.

Enma flopped back on the bed beside them, groaning lightly. “You owe me so much. Bugs, Ito, there were bugs.”

Ito was aware. They had warned him about said bugs. But they, politely, decided not to say this, instead opting to take his hand and interlace their fingers.

Enma looked at their intertwined hands, his lips pursed. “It’s a little too hot here for cuddles.”

“Kuroki’s dealing with it,” Ito pointed out, grinning.

He sighed. “Well, I can’t be upstaged by Kuroki of all people.”

“Fuck you,” grumbled Kuroki. And then he lifted his head just slightly to glare at John, who was hovering in the doorway, looking extremely awkward. “What are you still doing here?”

John shifted from foot to foot, unsure. “Because I haven’t… shown you two to your rooms, yet?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Enma said, smiling. “We’re staying here.”

John blinked. “... oh?”

“You guys have already kidnapped Ito once, who says you won’t do it again?” Kuroki said.

The other two people in the room nodded their agreement.

Grim probably would have done the same, but he was currently snoring away. Must be nice. Now that the shock and adrenaline of being held somewhere against their will AGAIN WHAT THE FUCK WAS THEIR LUCK – had faded, they were exhausted.

John opened and closed his mouth a few times, as if he really wanted to say something but couldn’t muster up the willpower to, before apparently thinking better of it. “Uh – hm – sleep well.”

“Is he our senpai?” Enma whispered.

“No, he’s in our class,” Ito said.

Enma squinted at John for a second, as if trying to place him.

“He’s friends with that one guy who – who –...” Ito frowned, trying to think of the word for it. “Doesn’t… talk.”

“Oh, the mute kid?” Kuroki said.

“... suuuuure,” Ito said, because they weren’t sure if that was the word but damn if they weren’t going to pretend they knew it.

John was, apparently, sick of being gossiped about so openly (or, at least, upset that he was, according to the three of them, pretty much unrecognizable when he wasn’t with his friend), because he sighed and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Absently, Ito wondered if he would have to sleep out there.

And then they decided that, really, they didn’t care all that much.

“So, what’s the plan?” Ito said.

“Destroy this place from the inside,” Kuroki shrugged.

Ito hummed. They had expected that. “I’ve already told the Headmaster about what’s going on, so we’re well on our way.”

Enma pressed his cheek against the top of their head. “Aw, you know us so well.”

“Well, yeah, if there’s any guarantee in life, it’s that you guys’ll be petty at every given opportunity.”

“Don’t want to hear that from you,” grumbled Enma.

Ito settled down to sleep. “Wasn’t saying it’s a bad thing.”

And, despite their friends’ complaints that it was hot, Ito drifted off feeling pleasantly warm.

(To be fair, though, they had always liked warmer climates, so it could just be that.)