#im gonna rant here because I need to vent somewhere

[yawnjunn]

:*:✼ TXT attending your concert ✼*･ﾟ

Woahh its been a while huh...got super busy with life, just failed my physics exam 😜✌️ and now im on my school break, i decided to write this post bcs im SUPERRR bored rn but anyways

╰┈➤ idol!ot5! txt x idol!gn!reader

╰┈➤ no warnings, just fluff

╰┈➤ quick guide : y/n = your name, y/g/n = your group's name, y/f/n = your fandom's name

yeonjun(연준) :

☆ This man isnt afraid to attend your concert WITHOUT covering his face, yk how some artists covered their face and attend their friend's concert? yeah...not yj tho

☆ He might only bring a lightstick, not those extra banners or signs or whatever

☆ The only reason why he only brought a lightstick was bcs, he treats your concert like its his monthly/weekly routine

☆ Youre having a 2 day concert in seoul? You know damn right he'll be there despite his busy schedule

☆ Having a concert in japan? Finds a way to get to japan just to attend your concert

☆ so thats why he didnt feel like the need to bring extras cs in the end, yk hes gonna attend anyways

☆ but that didnt stop fans from screaming whenever they saw yeonjun

☆ he'd probably try to make a conversation with your fans while waiting for you to perform with your group

☆ "so how long have you stan y/g/n ?"

☆ "im a y/n biased, and you?"

☆ when you came on stage and during the breaks between performing, you called out yeonjun

☆ "yeonjun i know youre here somewhere, cameraman pls find yeonjun and point the camera at him"

☆ and when the camera is on him, hes smiling brightly and covered his shy face after getting those cheers from your fans

☆ you'd probably ask him to dance to one of your songs

☆ "yeonjun dance this song for me pls" then hes like shaking his head and all, refusing

☆ but the moment the music started, he danced so well that he literally became the hot topic of your group's show

soobin(수빈) :

☆ well soobin however, he'll come 2 hours early before your concert starts

☆ the reason he came early was because he was excited to give out his handmade freebies

☆ the night before, soobin had asked if he could hand out some freebies to your concert and you found this soooo cute that you told all your fans to find soobin for freebies

☆ he may be a little bit biased but all his freebies are just you.

☆ you wonder, what did he made? well...he made a banner, your photocard that he printed himself using his company's printer, candies of your fav and pastries that he had bake

☆ believe me or not, he woke up as early as 4 am just to make cute little pastries as your concert take place in morning

☆ he believed your fans wouldnt get breakfast, so he baked the pastries for them 😭

☆ as soon as your concert starts, he whipped out his phone so fast and record it and whenever you came on screen, hes like "wahhh theyre so pretty"

☆ when you start singing, he starts crying???? hes way too proud of you that he starts crying and vent to his friends sitting next to him

☆ "you know how hard my baby worked? im so proud of them, i remember them crying every night to me because of training and now look at them, theyre on stage now"

☆ his friend sitting beside him was like, soobin are u okay??? are u drunk?? but either way, his friend can only smile and nod while listening to soobin rant

beomgyu(범규) :

☆ idc what anyone says but this man will be fighting for a front row ticket

☆ literally camps outside the venue like..literally

☆ you had offered him to enter the venue earlier than anyone before the show starts

☆ but he refused this bcs he wants to get them freebies from your fans 😭 instead of giving them out, he wants the freebies himself

☆ goes from fan to fan, if he sees a fan handing out freebies? he'll be speed walking, another fan giving out freebies too? he'll be speed walking

☆ receives the freebies until it couldnt fit in his little bag that he brought with him

☆ as soon as the security lets everyone inside, he'll be running just to get close to the barricade

☆ since hes an idol, i know its ridiculous but he'll be surrounded by 2 of his protocol team 😭

☆ even though he had brought his 2 protocol teammates, he'd somehow make them enjoy your concert too

☆ like when your group tells the fans to jump, beomgyu would convinced his protocol buddies to jump aswell

☆ you spot beomgyu in the crowds and he'd wave you like crazy, like a fan boy 😭 ...does beomgyu knows that youre his lover???? 😭😭😭

☆ but anyways, he'll go on weverse and post the concert pics and take a photo of the freebies he received

☆ "what an amazing night, they look so beautiful tonight and thank you to y/f/n for giving out the freebies, i'll be keeping it forever"

taehyun(태현) :

☆ this man is quite lowkey but he is a hardcore stan of yours

☆ hes a bit dissappointed when he founds out that he wasnt the first one to arrive at the venue, he was like "2 hours before the concert starts, and theres alot of people waiting..." poor him, he thought he was the first 😭

☆ he'd show up with his mask on and a cap as he didnt want the fans to know he came to see you

☆ but that kinda failed as your fans started to notice his famous boba eyes in the crowds

☆ this made him open his mask, since theres no point in using it 😭

☆ as soon as y/g/n performs, yk damn well he'd be taking tons of videos

☆ he'd sing along to your songs and dance to some of it

☆ he memorised the fanchant too !!!

☆ bro got jealous when he sees y/f/n got the banners like...ugh he wants one too????

☆ he was like "see i knew i shouldnt have brought lightstick only"

☆ politely asks y/f/n for some extra banners

☆ believe me or not, he'd use those digital text on his phone that says, "y/n please notice me"

☆ luckily you noticed this and blew him a kiss and in return, he gave you a big heart which made you giggle on stage which also made y/f/n cheer louder

hueningkai(휴닝카이) :

☆ you think hes gonna go alone to your concert? nope

☆ he'll invite everyone he knows, his members, his family, his staffs. literally everyone to show how talented you are

☆ as much as you would love your boyfriend to bring in alot of people, apparently it has limits

☆ so in the end, he only brought his 2 sisters, lea and hiyyih

☆ dont worry, he paid for their tickets lmao

☆ LOVES receiving freebies from y/f/n

☆ when lea or hiyyih got your photocard from the freebies, he'd say smthn like "can i have that..?"

☆ not only he likes receiving freebies but hes also a merch buyer. sees a cute wristband for the lightstick? he'll buy. a cute shirt? he'll buy. a batch with your face on it? he'll buy.

☆ he'll buy everything that has your name or your face on it, until lea told him to stop unless he wants his bank account balance to be $0

☆ he'll do anything to get noticed by you, even tho he knows youre his lover

☆ before the concert, he texted, 'i'll be on the middle row, 3rd line from the front!!'

☆ but he decided to go extra as he thought you'd forget to see him so yk what he did? he brought glowing light sticks with him to make him more noticable 😭😭

☆ when you noticed him, you gave him a heart and him being a fanboy of yours, he started giggling and bragged to his sisters, "did you see that? they definitely gave that heart to me"

☆ after the concert ends, he'd ask one of his sisters to take photos of him doing cute poses whenever youre on screen, like him doing a big heart whenever you show up on the screen

☆ fans found this cute as they started uploading his leaked pictures doing those poses

☆ people may or may not label you guys as the couple of the year 🤭

[rubyof-thesea]

love when i go sit somewhere specifically to be out of my room for a while without the constant threat of being percieved only for my dad to decide he needs to go clear out the shed right on the other side of the flimsy plywood wall w/ several screened sections (which i did a fantastic job of ignoring) followed by just straight up coming in & loudly wrestling with the dogs right behind me

(putting a read more here because i continue to be incapable of being concise & this little vent turned into more of a rant oops)

yes, he’s fully aware that i only go hang out in common spaces in the house when i expect them to be empty. yes i’ve explained to him that if he is in the same room with me, even if he’s just sitting there quietly, my brain instinctively goes into defense mode & ruins any focus, peace, or relaxation i may have achieved unless i’m properly mentally prepared for it, which is a big reason why i don’t usually hang out in the common spaces. yes, he knows & has acknowledged that this reaction is entirely because of the trauma he caused me growing up, & the precedent he’s set since of being physically unable to be in the same room as me without making whatever remark he can think of every minute to try & start a conversation.

yes, this is also the man that’s constantly telling me i should spend more time out of my room. but i didn’t explicitly tell him i wanted to be alone this time so of course it’s not gonna bother me, right?🙄

like yeah i see so many other signs that he’s making progress every day & it was almost certainly not his conscious intention to bother me, but like, it never is. it never has been, according to him. never stopped him from abusing us!

he needs to accept if he wants a relationship with any of his children it has to be on our terms. if he keeps treating every step forward as an invitation to resume trying to force his way back into our lives he WILL lose all of us. im by far the most lenient & empathetic towards him of his children, but im fucking sick of him taking my kindness for weakness

[bitchybylershipper]

tw vent? rant? who knows its one in the morning and im upset.

you know what, maybe i AM a little bit bitter that my parents always seem to forget im here. maybe i AM a little bit bitter that all of my effort of being loud and confident and HERE is absolutely demolished as soon as i go back to a house that i am supposed to call home. but thats not what this is. this house is NOT a home. a home is somewhere you feel safe and loved and heard and seen. youre not supposed to dread going home everyday. nope.

maybe i AM a little bit bitter that ive known how to fill out a resume and a medical form and send emails correctly and turn in my physical for school sports and take care of every single thing since i was like 13. because as They always say, "its your thing so you do it. you dont need our help." maybe i AM a little bit bitter that barely passing my financial literacy class is gonna be one of my biggest helps when i become a legal adult. maybe i AM a little bit bitter that They dont think to try and help me with ANYTHING anymore.

yeah, and maybe i AM a little bit bitter that ive had to tuck myself into bed since i was 12 years old. maybe i AM a little bit bitter that Theyve stopped caring whether or not im actually sleeping at night. i wont ever forget what he said. "i dont care when you go to bed just make sure its an appropriate time." and then he left my room and didnt come back. i wanted to scream. maybe i AM a little bit bitter that ive been waiting for Them to come make sure im asleep for three hours, and even though They claim They can see my light on from under the door, They have walked down the hallway to turn on the dryer THREE. FUCKING. TIMES. and still havent noticed that im still up and at 'em. maybe i AM a little bit bitter that They have gone to bed and maybe i am bitter enough to leave my light on until They come say goodnight to me.

i know they wont. but maybe.

[mazojo]

Just got reminded how much I disliked kny's ending, feeling awful !

[murkytowels]

.

[fraternitae]

                                                                                                        uwu;

[rsitb-second-account]

Borrower Intruloceit

Janus, Remus and Logan were (very happily) in a polyamorous relationship. However, to most of the world, Janus and Remus were just a couple. You see, Logan was a borrower; a tiny person that lives in the walls of human houses and steals from those humans in order to survive. And, he’s a secret. 

Here’s three close calls and the one time everyone found out about Logan.

1. The time Remus’ brother showed up unannounced

Logan was sitting on the arm of the couch, having a movie date with his boyfriends, when the door slammed open. He quickly gestured to Janus’ pocket, hoping he would understand. Luckily, he nodded and quickly scooped up the borrower and deposited him in the fairly large (to Logan at least) pocket.

“good evening, Roman. Is there a reason you showed up unannounced, or did you just want to ruin our date?” Janus spoke coldly

“oh- I- uh.. I didn’t know you two had a date tonight..” Roman rubbed his neck sheepishly

“us three” Logan corrected under his breath, shifting his position slightly. Unfortunately, Roman seemed to notice the movement from the pocket. 

“What’s in your pocket?” He asked hesitantly

Logan stilled and held his breath as Janus answered “why do you want to know?” 

Remus was staying silent, not trusting himself to not accidentally let something slip.

“I want to know beca-” he was cut off by Remus

“why are you here Roman?”

That quickly distracted the human “oh! I was just-” he explained why he was there, Logan still forcing himself to be still.

Once the dramatic man had left, the borrower let out an annoyed sigh “you really need to take away his key, so he can’t do this again. It is rather annoying to have to hide every two seconds that Roman shows up unexpectedly”

Remus giggled “and what would we tell him? ‘oh yeah our secret tiny boyfriend doesn’t like it when you burst in randomly so we’re gonna take your key’ I don’t think that would work very well, tiny nerd”

2. Janus’ brother shows up slightly less unannounced than Roman

Janus, Remus and Logan were watching random Youtube videos, with Logan sat on Remus’ shoulder. They heard the door open at the same time as Janus got a text message from his brother, Virgil

Was on a walk and saw your house. Am now in your house :)

Luckily, there was an entrance to the walls right next to where they were sat and Logan practically ran into it, the entrance closing just as Virgil entered the room.

“Virgil, do you have a reason to be here other than being an annoyance?” Janus raised an eyebrow at his younger sibling

“Nope!” Virgil replied with fake cheerfulness, before sitting cross-legged on the floor staring at the other humans. Remus just stared back, but with a slightly more eerie tone to his actions. 

Janus just sighed at his boyfriend and his brother. He had no doubt that Logan was watching with an annoyed face that he would deny ever making. Almost everything they tried to do together was interrupted by someone bursting in uninvited, and it was getting tiresome. He heard a faint noise from the walls and by the looks of it Virgil and Remus heard it too.

Logan had gotten into a fight with a (luckily non-venomous) spider, and had just killed it, when he tripped. The impact made him hiss with pain and, unfortunately, made a semi-loud sound on its own. “... what was that?” He heard Virgil ask

Janus and Remus looked at each other for a split second, before Janus shrugged and said that it was probably nothing

“Anyway, emo, if you’re scared and you didnt come here for a reason, you can leave” Remus said, slightly too bluntly.

Virgil, thankfully for Logan, did in fact leave. It was at exactly that moment that the borrower decided that Virgil was better (if only slightly) than Roman

3. The time with Patton

Logan was wandering around the house (its his house and he can do that now that the humans knew about him) when a knock at the door sounded. Suddenly really glad that he stayed near the walls on his walk, he rushed into the closest entrance. 

He knew that this would be Patton (he was the only person who ever bothered to knock) but he still couldn’t decide whether this particular human was as good as Virgil or not. He was better than Roman, not as loud (though still pretty loud), and not as keen on staying somewhere that he didn’t own. However, he wasn’t as quiet as Virgil, and had accidentally hurt his ears quite a few times, but at least he knocked instead of bursting in randomly with little to no warning.

He watched from a vent as Remus opened the door

“Heya Remus! Can i come in?” Patton greeted with obviously fake happiness and Logan could see a smile that seemed just a little too forced

“of course, do you want to sit down? I’ll go get Janus” Remus genuinely had no clue what to do, but Janus was slightly better at comforting people. Logan was better at it as well, because he’d bring up facts about why you’re good, but it wasn’t like Logan could comfort Patton..

Janus quickly rushed to the living room, where his best friend was obviously trying to hold back tears. 

Logan watched Patton rant about both everything and nothing at the same time, obviously just needing someone to talk to. As much as he hated to admit it, he was still annoyed at the interruption that had forced him into the walls. He couldn’t control what annoyed him, and that in itself was an annoyance. He wanted to sympathise with the human, but did he have to show up right as Logan was finally relaxing? He decided to just randomly do things on the phone his boyfriends had given him. It had been hard to drag to his house in the walls but it made it easier to not get bored and to contact the two humans

4. When everyone (finally) finds out

Logan had had enough. The three humans that didn’t live in the house had all shown up unexpectedly, together. Whilst Logan, Remus and Janus were trying to finally have uninterrupted time together. Of course that’s when they show up Logan thought bitterly. They had showed up for, as they put it, a ‘surprise sleepover’

He glanced at his phone leaning on the wall next to his bed and a thought popped into his head. The humans were bound to find out anyway, if they were to keep bursting in unexpectedly, so why not just tell them?

Logan unlocked his phone, opening Whatsapp and typing out a message

‘tel VIrgl patan and romun to stay were they are. im reveeling mysellf to them. im going throo the enterance on the bukshelf. see yoo soon’

He probably spelt most of it wrong, but he hadn’t exactly gotten taught spelling. All he was taught in regards to reading, was just barely enough to figure out what he was taking and if it was dangerous or not. And he was making a life-changing decision, so he thought that meant he could make as many spelling mistakes as he did, and play it off to nervousness.

Janus and Remus both looked at their phones and paled. What was Logan thinking?! It seemed that the other humans had noticed their uneasiness “what’s wrong? What’s on your phones that is making you react like this??” Virgil asked, worry lacing his tone

“Don’t worry, Vee. It’s nothing bad, it’s just.. unexpected. ...You’ll see, just stay there” Janus soothed his brother

“you two stay there as well” Remus added , getting up and walking towards the bookshelf, Janus soon joining him. They looked at where they knew the entrance was, waiting for it to open.

Roman piped up “uh, care to tell us what is going on?”

“we will, but not yet. We need to wait” 

“well, that was ominous..” Virgil commented, seeming slightly nervous

Then, the entrance opened and Logan walked out glaring softly at the shocked humans

“uh, Remus, what the fuck is that?!” Roman practically shouted, reminding Logan just why he was on the bottom of his list of favourites. 

“He is our boyfriend, and I expect you to treat him with respect” Janus said, his voice venomous. Remus held out a hand for Logan to climb onto, which the borrower did, still glaring at the other humans (mostly Roman). 

“Salutations. I am Logan, do not introduce yourselves, I already know who you are” He spoke before muttering an “unfortunately”

Remus, being the only person close enough to hear the mutter, let out a chuckle “Lo, if you revealed yourself just to complain about them to their faces, this will be hilarious”

The three humans were staring in shock, until Roman snapped out of it “Wait- why would he be complaining? I don’t know about those two, but I am positively amazing!” 

Logan scoffed “yeah, amazing. You’re too loud, burst in randomly, and it’s always for the stupidest reasons. You have hurt my ears far too many times to count, and almost every time me, Janus and Remus try to do something together, you show up, and I have to hide or go back to the walls. So, yeah, amazing” He spoke, voice dripping with sarcasm. 

He turned to the other two “you two aren’t as bad, but you still manage to show up at some of the worst possible times. Patton, you are quite loud, but not as loud as Roman, so that makes you slightly better. Also, you don’t burst in, and you knock so that’s something good. Virgil, you’re not as loud as these two, which is good, and you always send a text message when you show up, so I have at least a little bit of warning before going into the walls, so you’re both better than Roman” not that that’s saying much he added mentally.

-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-

I kinda wanna write a prequel about how Logan, Remus and Janus met..

Tag list: @icantthinkofacreativeurl @vann-cat @moonfrost-star-comics

[chocobarsys]

this is gonna be a long and probably incoherent vent post

we are so tired of bein treated subhuman by the ppl we are forced to live with/around on a daily basis. they regularly infringe on our basic human rights. and no, this isnt just being melodramatic, this is a real and serious issue that happens all the time to us and our partner system. we are denied basic human rights by the ppl we have to live with. they simultaneously treat us like children when it comes to us trying to be independent and do things for ourselves or them trying to order us around, and “lazy” adults when it comes to things we actually need help with, when it comes to our disabilities, etc. 

just recently, Midnight’s (partner system) bio grandma left on a trip to Costa Rica for around two weeks and instead of leaving her car here for us, the people who live here and would have no transportation otherwise and are disabled and have no income so we cant just uber or something, she leaves it with their bio brother who lives half an hour away and has absolutely no need for it. and we know for a fact that she did this as an exertion of control over us while she wasnt here. 

this woman is abusive. she always has been. physically, verbally, emotionally, yes every way possible, she is. we are purposefully leaving off the more triggering kinds but it is implied and you would be correct in assuming. 

she regularly exerts control over us. she refuses to allow us to drive her car, backing it up with a paper thin flimsy excuse that we “arent on her insurance” but neither is Midnight’s siblings and she hands them the keys without batting an eyelash about it. She regularly denies us access to things and gives some half baked lie as an excuse and doesnt even try to make it believeable, either because she thinks we’re that stupid or because she knows theres not really anything we can do about anyway so why try. 

she also regularly whines about how “poor” she is but she really isnt. we have seen bank statements stating she has $20k in the bank (recent ones). she literally just dropped $7k on an unnecessary trip to Costa Rica to pay out of pocket for dental implants that she doesnt need. like. ur 84 years old just get dentures like the “common folk.” but no shes so poor. not only that but shes also about to take yet another trip down to go to an extended family members wedding, yet she complained about paying $180 for Midnight’s YEARLY phone bill :/ 

shes also just really disgusting. she will legit go in the trash can and take out used paper towels and reuse them. she regularly rifles through the garbage to make sure we didnt throw away something she can “reuse.” its so gross. her kitchen was legit full of expired food that we recently threw out while she was gone because she wouldnt let us while she was here, claiming it was still edible. we are talkin molded cheeses, cans from 2017 (acidic contents), improperly packaged meat from 2020... 

and everyone else around here treats her like she cant do any wrong and like she never has when that is just factually untrue. theyre all rude af to us and try to command us to bend over backwards for this bitch and it just aint happening. we are getting really sick and tired of being treated this way and we arent really sure what to do or whats gonna happen. we dont have anywhere else to go but we certainly cant stay here for much longer.

anyway rant over for now i guess im just really upset and needed to get it out somewhere. i know its disjointed and incomprehensible but oh well. i guess it isnt necessarily for reading so much as it is for just talking. but if you do read it then haha oof

-- Lucifer

[lovelycharmingvillain]

I SWORE I WASNT GONNA POST ANOTHER “IM SORRY IVE BEEN INACTIVE”  UPDATE BUT

a lot has happened, gonna ramble below the cut

TLDR: I had to travel across the country with my two cats to stop them getting poisoned and I can't bring them home until 2 weeks have passed 

(Both cats are absolutely fine and in peak health, do not worry)

Sooooooo we got our house sprayed with flea poison because it had slowly become infested and our cats were going nuts scratching. We took both cats, Maple and Nimbus, out of the house during the day it was being sprayed, and didn't bring them back until 4 hours after it had settled (the time frame we were instructed to wait so it would be safe for them). The guy who we hired has been our decorator for years, very trustworthy man, and also specialises in pest control as that's his main job. He assured us this stuff is completely non-toxic to cats and that he's used it in many homes with pets for 20 years, and never had a single problem.

A few hours after they're home, Maple starts acting really weird. She isn't lethargic at all, but her paw keeps hitting the ground when she's grooming, like she can't balance right, and she keeps sort of flattening herself against the floor  for no apparent reason. She was also walking strangely, with a sort of stumble, again off-balance, and keeps running off in a frantic way.

I know Maple’s every mannerism- I know what it means when she flicks her tail in a certain way, what each different meow means, when she wants food or affection or to play. I'd never seen her acting like this and knew that something was wrong, and that combined with the fact that bug poison was all over the house really concerned me, so I woke my parents up and we took her to the emergency vet. (My dad actually got really annoyed and said there was nothing wrong with her, and ohhhh boy am I glad I insisted he listen to me cause he was  about to go back to bed and he's the only one who can drive. I'm actually pretty mad about how he acted cause Maple would have died without treatment but that's a whole other rant)

The vet immediately recognises something is very wrong, basically agrees with everything I've said. She asks what chemical was used in the house and we don't know cause the guy didn't tell us, and it's about 4:00 am at this point so his phone goes straight to voicemail. The vet says that all of Maple’s symptoms fit with this poison that is super toxic to cats and potentially fatal, but she can't be sure what's going on until the pest control guy calls back, and therefore she can't use a specific treatment in case it's something else. Maple’s legs were twitching, and the vet said worst case scenario she has a seizure, but that cats who are poisoned usually decline really fast, so the fact that Maple isn't seizuring already is a good sign.

We leave Maple overnight at the animal hospital, and as soon as we're out of the building I break down in tears because the idea that she might die is unbearable. I don't exaggerate when I say we're closer than most humans are to each other, and I'd literally give my life for her. In the last two years, we've had two cats die almost exactly a year apart, and I couldn't take the thought of a third death. Nimbus is also super close to Maple, almost a surrogate son to her, and I was so scared of how he'd cope without her.

So now we have to figure out what to do with Nimbus overnight, since the house is potentially toxic. We eventually clear out a closet that wasn't sprayed, cover the floor with paper just to be safe, and set up a little room for him there. He hasn't shown any signs of illness but because it can progress so fast I have to stay up with him all night in case he deteriorates too.

Aaaaand it was the worst night of my life. I was already massively sleep deprived and now have to stay up till morning, both to make sure Nimbus is okay and to listen for a phone call from the vets. Basically I know that if she calls before 7:00am that's bad news, so I'm constantly on edge wondering if the phones gonna ring and I'll be told that Maple is dead. 

But thank fuck she calls at about 7:30 and says that Maple is doing really well- the treatment seemed to work wonders and now she's walking better and eating food. It turns out the poison the guy used wasn't the toxic one she suspected it was, and actually is supposed to be safe for cats, but Maple just had a very rare reaction to it.

I'll skip the details cause holy shit this is long already but she's given the all clear later that day and we’re able to pick her up. Problem is we've only got that tiny little closet that we can safely keep the cats in, and no one we know is able to look after them (the vet advised at this point that we wait at least a week before letting the cats back in the house, two weeks to be safe).

Since we can't keep the cats cooped up in that room much longer we have to find somewhere quick, and the only place we can think of is our holiday home, which is a five hour drive away. So I'm like “"well, guess I'm taking a holiday”, and lug my suitcase plus two cat carriers on a four hour train journey which was  uhhh not fun.

AND NOW IM HERE, OUT IN THE COUNTRY WITH TWO VERY CONFUSED KITTIES

So yeah, this was a very unexpected situation and I'm still recovering from the stress of it all, which is why I've only been getting out a handful of replies at a time. God, sorry this went on for so long, I just needed to vent

Both cats are doing great now! Maple is back to full health and sprinting all over the house, and Nimbus is his normal, goopy self. I can't express how relieved I am that they're okay, holy shit, I think I've had enough stress in the last few days to last a year

ANYWAY

Despite what all this rambling might suggest, I'm okay. I’ve got the house to myself and there's WiFi and Netflix and CATS- it's the dream holiday really, circumstance aside.

YEAH SO I DONT KNOW WHAT IM EVEN TRYING TO SAY BUT I LOVE YALL AND I HOPE THIS IS THE LAST MAJOR SETBACK FOR A LOOOONG WHILE

[determined-magi]

"Thannor." The new voice is sickly sweet. "I got a question for ya. Why's it that you let that BEAST of a child anywhere near you? You know nothing about him, not truly, words aside. Can you trust what a pathological liar tells you? He could be lying, he could be trying to get into your good side and betray you. He's a liar, a thief, and a traitor to his people. Why would he be loyal to a group of MAGES who remind him of everything he was trying to escape for gods know how long?"

“ Ye think fer a second it hadn’t gone through my mind? Ye wants to rile me up, good job, but not gonna work the way you want it to, ye shite. And bare with me I’m gonna tell ye why and ye’s gonna be stuck on this long ass rant, and then I will fuckin cut that tounge and throat of yers, and ye’s not going to have a say on it. ”

“ One of very few get us. And ironically this “beast of a child” has managed to treat us, or feing to treat us, more humanely than a lot of humans on our own kindgom. Of course it feels too fucking good, because we’ve got many on our kingdom that do this already, and speak of us the same way you speak of him. “ He lets a low, rumbling growl from his troat. If the anon could hear it, he would hear the already hissing magic growing rather agitated behind the mage’s back. Like an animal who has had their territory crossed, tail snapping to its sides, ears pinned back and bearing fangs as a warning. “ Why ye think I snapped at him as a fuckin lion? ‘Course I don’t trust ‘im wholy. Hell, I am terrified. How well has it gone to ours with trusting others that hadn’t aged nor grew arounds us? “

“ Agar has been cut, burn and hurt many times in thirty years, he’s got the body scars of an old veteran, in about THIRTY YEARS, the amount of scars he’s got should be on a war mage of about Braigon’s age, not him. Gilrin has been used by the fucking council and their dogs for years, Thanneth taken advantage of and granted, fucking Belle, for fuck’s sake! ‘is own kingdom, ‘is own family, they all shunned him like they shun us. Captains had demoted Braigon in his younger days to escape a scold, and Rho? He’s sent people he thought as friends to jail for it, not one, twice or thrice, let me tell ye. “ Hands claw at his face, frustrated, then at his neck as if he wanted to tear off his own bones and throat. Before punching a nearby object, it hurts, but it is better to take it off at something than just keep the feeling there, anything to let off the sensation that kept  torturing him when made aware of it. “ And ‘ol me? Had people pretend things only to snap at me, fuckin outraged because I did not give them their due, time and time again. And when I express myself like I fuckin want? I get knocked, punished and spoken like if I was a rabid, mindless, bloodthristy animal. Then said my feral behavior has no place on their civilized society. Of fuckin course I’m going to be wary to some extent, of course it will feel too damn good to have someone like him around to be real. “

“ Sometimes I wish I had chosen to kick him out then, it would make life way easier. “ He then simply sits on the ground, face burrying on his hands as he lets one of the longest groans he’s ever had. “ Wouldn’t have to deal with this, stagnancy was far easier. I wouldn’t have to fear change, I wouldn’t have to doubt as many things as I do now, I wouldn’t feel like I was about to jump from the edge to the abyss in a blind leap of faith. I wouldn’t have to allways have the nagging feel in the back of my mind that there is something off, then be torn between trying to stop that feel, and stop what causes it. But then I would be again a miserable fool, with greats amounts of money, and little self-fullfillment found in life other than the few people and things he enjoys only in the smallest of dosis, stagnant an’ likely bound to suffer worse ‘cause he’s clearly in the wrong somewhere in there, which only now I’m coming to fuckin see. I ‘ave someone more than to an extent my magic isn’t allways upset around with, which is a big breather, let me tell ye. “

“ Of course not knowing anything is terrifying, when trust is given, they can use what they know against ye, ye? Ye don’t have anything, ye’r left helpless and the only thing ye’s got is a bite and bark, while they have a whole arsenal. ‘Course part of me would instinctually show distrust when experiencing on an unknow situation, outside of my own comfort zone, and while feeling exposed… so ‘course I don’t trust him, not entirely… “

“ Which ye know what? It thoroughly sucks! The one thing that feels good also doesn’t feel so! It is fuckin rediculous. I want to improve, and I want to go further on in my own self-development. “ He wants to pull his hair off, but doesn’t instead he just just stands again, then moves to hit his head against a wall. He seems clearly distressed somewhere in the mess of emotions he’s showing currently. “ But the worst of it? I find myself wanting to believe it, I want to believe what feels like a thorough lie and danger to be good, That’s change isn’t too good to be true. That who I hired ‘s in fact the person I hired, that ‘ey  ‘re a kid that did not come to my damn shop with ulterior motives, someone that, while problematic on some areas, is still a good kid just stumbling to my workplace in some way. And he in fact means well, and that I can grow fond of ‘im and trust him as a friend and dear apprentice, alike Gil does with her own students as if some were to her children. “

“ And ye know? Ye’s right on that last part, we are the least probable people for him to trust, the least rightfull! “ He moves away to start punching the object, barehanded, the alloy imbedded on his skin re-opening wounds and quickly painting it red, it hurts a lot, but does he care either? Not really, he needs an outting, something help him vent it off, something to take it on, something to exhaust him, in every concievable way. Which sadly to him doesn’t work very well, as soon enough he finds himself left with it being a useless mess. “ I can’t for shite understand why he’s here, why he’s stuck so long, and what could be the reasoning to want to do this, and that upsets me, but unlike some shites here, I.am.not.prying… “

“ And ye, we shouldn’t trust it. But ye know what? ” He growls again. He wishes to trust him, but… he won’t. Never blindly. Trust was a two way, and so long as one was closed, it wouldn’t be truly that, it could never be that. Will, however, be patient, await for it to show. and if not? Well, over time it shall show. The thought feels… bittersad-painfull, to him. “ What we do, what I do, won’t be chosen by a piece of shite like ye. I won’t pry the reasons behind, not like ye fuckin shites do to rile people up. Whatever reasons he’s got, are his. And ye know fucking what too? I changed my mind. ”

He moves in towards to grab the anon, before grabbing what he believes to be a sternum-like structure. Fingers burrying deep into the person’s flesh. Then he pulls, taking a good chunk of flesh, connective tissue and probably organs with it, leaving a bloodly mess behind and staining his clothes. then moves of to rip the person’s throat and cervical spine-like structure. He wasn’t going to let the person go away, no, he riled him up, ruined his day, touched matters he shouldn’t, knew things he shouldn’t. And he certainly wouldn’t let them have the chance to use what he’s just said, there is only six persons he will confide in this like this, and this fool wasn’t one of them.

And what that meant? Death, flat as that in his mind.

He stands there for a moment, before dropping the chunck he was gripping and letting the most frustrated of groans, followed soon by a growl. Oh, they fucking riled him and it ended with him killing someone. Look at his clothes! They are a mess, his nerves are a mess, the ground’s a mess, and everyone’s going to scold them on it. And he fucking hurt his hands AGAIN while on it.

Got fucking damn it, he hates getting riled up over things like these.

Sometimes he wishes he didn’t feel anything.

@cosmosfated

[yikeshit2021]

Woah I miss venting here. This is a lot safer than facebook or twitter since I nobody really knows the existence of this acc and nobody really knows who I am in here. SO ANYWAYS

That’s it. I’m really just upset and feel so unsafe with everything. I don’t feel safe in this house (emotionally safe and mentally safe) I don’t feel good, I feel so uneasy and probably always at the brink.

My Mom is constantly pressuring me to do more, oh and I actually have work already and that’s where I’ve been getting all my money.

Yet somehow, because I have work. My Mom expects me to provide for my own needs and it feels like I’m being rushed to become and adult??? Idk it just feels so wrong.

Like? I have missed my childhood (according to my memory) and now I’m missing my teenage years for some bullshit depression and disorder and now you want me to hurry up and maybe sooner pay for them fucking bills????

Idk if it’s just me but I feel so out of place and sometimes I also feel like my Mom and her (new) boyfriend just wants me out of the picture so they could create a new world and life where it’s just them and (probably) their new kid.

Like okay??? I feel like a total outcast??? Am I ungrateful because of these dumbass feelings??? Or maybe I want to delete myself and that’s why I’ve been feeling uncomfortable lately since I am living at her boyfriend’s house and I certainly don’t feel at home.

I have been to many houses and have lived and adjusted to different environments yet whenever I feel alright and finally at peace I just had to live somewhere else again?? And I’m supposed to just be okay with it??? Like okay I get it, I should understand that if it’s hard for me then it is also hard for you. But am I not allowed to have emotions just because you’re going through much worse than mine???

Since when has been feeling bad a competition???

And there was one time I wanted to focus on my studies and did assess on my studies. My Mom got mad at me and said “What are we gonna eat if you become a member of the student council?” (Nonverbatim) and I stood there confused as fuck like “oh woah so I gotta work to feed us all? Don’t you have a partner for that? I’m suppose to study at my age so we can have a bright future or atleast have a home someday.”

WOMAN I AM DOING MY BEST AND GIVING IT MY ALL JUST TO GIVE YOU THE LIFE YOU WISH YOH HAVE BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE THATS THE ONLY REASON WHY IM STILL ALIVE.

TELL ME, WHO IS IT REALLY THAT’S UNGRATEFUL? YOU OR ME??

Gosh I feel so bad ranting but YEAH.

Bro If I were to decide I’d literally kill myself in an instant like getting sick isn’t even making me wish to live, getting sick makes me laugh and relieved that I’m finally gonna die.

I’m honestly concerned about myself but heck I don’t know what to do at this point and all I’m relying to is the fact that maybe someday All will be well and someobody’s gonna need me in the future.

Like bro I need someone and help. I need myself. I need love. I need care. Yet it feels so wrong to voice all of these out cuz I got so used to being silenced and invalidated that expressing myself is causing discomfort to other and I’m suppose to value them more than me.

That’s totally fucked up.

I also need a hug, I also need a father, I also need a mother, I also have my own traumas, my own bruises, bro I’m literally so wounded and hurt that everyday, breathing feels so wrong and painful. That even if I have fun and appear to be having fun, deep inside I know something is wrong.

I also want to be seen and heard. But why does it feel like they should be put first? They should be understood first. It’s always gotta be them.

What about me?

What about me? Do I not deserve to be understood too?

Come on, even tho they had it worse than what I’ve gone through doesn’t mean I don’t feel pain.

We are all going through something, can’t they at least go easy on me when they won’t give me the warmth and comfort I also need?

I’m just as tired as you, I’m just as bruised as you, I’m just as dead as you…

If you feel like what I’m going through can’t be compared to yours then at least just leave me be instead of telling me I should feel grateful that I’m only experiencing minor things.

Because honestly it will never give me peace.

What you’ve gone through doesn’t give you the right to belittle what others are experiencing too.

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

asks (19)

Anonymous said: Hey can you do something like Bruce reacting to Jason's death? Or just dealing with it in general (I'm feeling awfully sad)

Ahhh I get that you probably want new material, but I don’t have the time for it just now, so I’m just gonna link to all the sad Bruce and Jason content. I hope you feel better! Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help :///

The fic about Bruce right after Jason died

The fic from Under the Red Hood

The fic with Tim as Robin

The fic where Jason gets injured

Generalized angst with a Bruce and Jason section

Anonymous said: Your new list of punishable offenses really, really improved my day

I’m so glad! We all need a lil help, you know?

@thephilosophersapprentice said: Headcanon that Dick uses those relaxing videos from youtube to get Tim to fall asleep

Sleep?? He doesn’t know her (what videos tho hmu)

Anonymous said: Have you done your torts reading yet? Should I poke you? I believe in you!

I did it that day but regrettably there is new torts reading every day :///

Anonymous said: I read the thing about Damian liking plants, and I'm just imagining him and Poison Ivy talking about their favorite plants and like, having a full-on discussion about plants

Selina says it’s “good for them both” and “vaguely cute” but honestly? Makes Bruce nervous

Anonymous said: JOSS WHEDON IS NO LONGER DIRECTING BATGIRL!!!! I am screaming with joy!!

Ahhhhhh it was just a rumor but I WISH

Anonymous said: Hi, I just read through like, all of your Damian hc's and I also read the one about him giving people thoughtful gifts and then I cried for a while. Thank you

One of my favorites! He’s a good kid

Anonymous said: Hey, gotta question. How old is Jason? I had a friend ask me and I wasn't sure.

Really hard to say on that one :/

My personal guess would be somewhere in the 19-22 range in the n52/rebirth, maybe 25ish in the preboot

Anonymous said: Have you read Worlds Apart by Fernandidilly_yo??? They just updated it and it is SO good, I think you would enjoy it. :)))

I haven’t, but I’ll give it a look :)

@giotanner said: Thank you very much for reblog my art (Tim Drake -inktober). This means a lot for me, 'cause I love your blog and always I follow it. Have a nice day!

It was a beautiful picture!

Anonymous said: what did you like about justice league tho ///

Spoilers below

I liked seeing Ben Affleck’s Batman and Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman on screen, acting like friends. I loved new-Barry and new-Arthur and new-Victor (especially Victor), especially when he called Bruce an asshole?? Iconic

I’ll be the first to admit that the movie had substantial problems, but here’s the thing: I just genuinely enjoy watching the characters I love on the big screen. The movie made me happy, and that’s all I really care about just now.

Anonymous said: hey mom, can i rant a lil? i am.... disappointed after watching justice league. i mean, i loved the new characters but coming out of the theatres i felt.. icky??? something just didnt sit well with me - the movie was too.... altered i guess is the only word i can think of right now. it didnt feel right. the tone was too light too different (forced?) for me too but thats just me. idk i just... im just upset right now. what did you think?

I’m really sorry you felt that way! I know what you’re talking about, and I’m sorry it ruined the movie for you

@batfightart said: I am so so so so so so so so sorry to hear what you have been going through with this "friend" of yours. That is truly despicable of him to disrespect what you have already told him about yourself and attempt to pursue a relationship despite it. And it's especially terrible since he's your partner for a class and that you share so many friends. Please feel free to vent to us anytime you need, we all love you so much and care for your well-being. I don't know if there is anything I can do, (1/2)

batfightart said: (2/2) but please let me know if I can help in any way or if you need anything. Please remember that you are so loved and that you are VALID as you are. We all appreciate you so much on here, and just want to give you support. I'll be thinking about you and wishing for the best for you. Thank you for sharing with us. We are here for you <3

Honestly this was.... exactly what I needed to hear a few days ago. Thank you so much for your support :’)

@justhavingfun123 said: I understand a bit of what you going through. I've had something similar happen with a guy; he thought he was "the exception". But just because he's friends with your friends doesn't mean you have to distance yourself from them, it might seem like to right thing to do(I've done it before), but stick to your friends. He'll hopefully see he was cruel in the end, and you need friend at a time like this. Hope everything will turn out good in the end and love your work ✨

My friends have been super supportive, which is really great because I don’t think I could have made it through this week without them. Sorry about your shitty experience with that guy :///

@12freddofrogs said: : ( That thing with the girlfriend-zone sounds horrible. I'm really sorry for you having to go through it. I wish I could give you advice or help, but all I can do is offer a virtual hug and prayers. I'm sure it will work out, but it sucks right now, and that's what hurts.

Hug and prayers both greatly appreciated <3

Anonymous said: In regards to your personal distress: you are valid. What you want and don't want is valid. I don't know the full extent of the situation, but if you can take a few precautions then tell him to back the f off, do so. I hope that that will help you feel better(?) about the situation.

I really needed that, anon

Anonymous said: God I’m so sorry that this guy has been playing you that fucking SUCKS and you did NOTHING wrong and we’re very different people but I know the feeling of just feeling so violated over being touched and it’s just the worst UGH I hope this guy fucks off forever and things go back to being good and happy

It was really bad for a couple of days, honestly. I still get all shivery and gross when I think about it, but I’m getting better

Anonymous said: I hope everything works out for you. I wish you the best!!!!

It’s been rough. Haley and I talked to him about it yesterday, because before that, he didn’t know that I was onto him. I made an outline and everything, and I practiced the speech a bunch of times. I made it through the whole thing without breaking down or losing my temper, and he just sort of.... sat there for awhile, until Haley made him apologize. 

It was a really good apology. He said that he had justified the whole thing to himself, but now he understood that his actions were wrong, and he was sorry that he hurt me. I think it was genuine. He was visibly upset when he found out I’d been having panic attacks about it. 

On the one hand, I don’t think he’s a threat to me anymore. He won’t pull that shit again. On the other hand, we aren't talking to each other anymore, and he’s avoiding me. In all honesty, I appreciate that, but even though I know I shouldn’t, I feel guilty for hurting him.

Haley said that he cried a lot after I left. I know that doesn’t change anything. No matter how genuine his feelings towards me are, they don’t excuse his behavior. He manipulated me, and even if it was for honest-to-God-Disney-princess-True-Love, he had no excuse to violate my trust or my autonomy like that. 

I still feel guilty. I’m actively repressing the urge to call and see if he’s okay. I’m not gonna do it, but the urge is there. 

It’s just been.... a week. I don’t know, guys. I’m struggling. 

[psychostrilondes]

so im glad im getting down to thinking about john, and i think i get whats goin on with him?? yeah?? hes talkative, exciting, and hardly ever serious about anything, and serious discussions with him are weirdly lighthearted??

hed definitely have a different relationship with dirk than he does with dave even though those two are brothers, which he remarks upon jokingly :P dave is always chatting back, hes always 100% or 0%, but dirk is more weirdly stoic and more to the point? like, often, hes a really weirdly, solidly stable grounding point for john actually seeing how he can respond to entire rants with “yeah, that sounds right.” like????? hello dude!?!?!?!? strider = x, me = y, in which x + y = anecdotes about obama and stuff?? no??? yesno? but its kind of nice!!! he just wants someone to take his feelings serious. nobody really considers johns emotions as a serious matter, except for dirk, who seems to do that with everyone just by proxy :0 (except with himself :c)

he totally brings john back down to wherever he goes when he goes on ranting about whatever. dave would carry it out and they’d pal around about it, but dirk just gets him right to the point. well, how do you feel about it? bam. a half hour, sped up into four minutes. dirk appears amicable through the whole thing and nods his head once in thought in some anime-esque way every now and he seems (and is) totally happy to be a venting buddy, this works, yes, he is doing the Friendship

but dirk :( being the bub that he is, on bad days friendissues can throw dirk into a minor little episode :( remembering what hes done before. john just sort of gets the nodding ‘mhm’ go-ahead to start talking, but then when the friendissues part of the conversation is broached and when its been a couple minutes, dirk hasnt said a darn thing? and hes? just looking? somewhere? and john just kind of stops and looks over his shoulder to see what ever dirk’s gazing at, um, hello dude?? are you on derse again? you know how far we are from derse right now. we are all kinds of far. so far, that we’re like three years away from there. and dirk twitches his head towards him as if to say ‘yeah, im here’ and john is like ???????

he slump his shoulders and go, “what do you think about this stuff dirk?” like dirks never had to be prompted :( he totally already knows somethings going on even though dirk just frowns a little bit and says “i think its worth a shot? sorry bro, i have other stuff that needs to get done this morning” and he stands up, Escape button pushed, Emergency, i need Out, and john being john is like hey hey whoa dude .. and he looks all sad, and dirk is so not having that expression of pity or something or whatever i dont deserve pity for how stupid pathetic iam leave me alone go away get out i gotta go and john pats him on his shoulder and he flinches a little and says dude, you can talk to me about it yknow?? like im not amazing like you are at this stuff man, but, you shouldnt just go, keeping stuff secret, and stuf,,,,,

ugh, ugh its getting a lot worse since johns pressing him to speak :( dirk moves at least into the kitchen nearby to get himself a cup of water he doesnt want?? its kind of automatic,, and his hands dont shake at all, totally not, and there totally arent several mosquitos landing on his legs that he’s ignoring because they arent actually there, and he hears john say “hey dude, hey are you okay?” really, because like, dirk does Not look okay omfg, he is in full Remembering mode and his past wounds were just a little too raw to be verbally rubbed against like that, ugh, actually, dirk looks like hes gonna pass out :S, and john says this and meets him at the counter where hes sort of rooted in his almost panic attack omg omg

so he has one hand on dirks back, and the other hand on his phone and hes typing, and dirk isnt really able to process who hes typing to or why would he be typing on his phone instead of helping pull him out of this quicksand he’s sinking down into, and then john puts his phone away and tells him to just have some water :( and he rubs dirks back in a Polite manner, and ofc he twitches at the movement but tolerates it enough to not slap his hand off, and sips his stupid warm tap water, and his hand shakes the water in the cup, and he watches it, and he feels a little bit better, and while he drinks a sip or two or three john just tells him he texted rose since rose knows everything, and rose totally knew!! you seem better already, thats good, dude. here, bring the cup, lets go sit on your couch. and he pulls dirk lightly to the living room and dirk sets the cup down and sits leaning forward a little and staring at his thighs ugh everythings swimming and johns still here and why doesnt he hate me already im horrible stupid

:( but john just takes his hand, and its good, its cool, his skinny pianohands are warm, and john’s asking how he feels, and dirk tells him ‘not good’ and john says thats pretty clear to me but dont worry!! itll pass and youll feel better before you know it ok?? and then hes stroking dirks back again, except this time dirk kind of welcomes it, and omg, im dyin how cute... them sitting facing eachother, with john patting on dirks back, because the touches help ground him, and holding his hand in his other hand, omg, uGH

BUT ANYWAY after that, which this would be like the first time, john would be really good at helping dirk out when he starts to freak out!?!??! and he can learn from his mistakes like he cant be pressing dirk to talk to him when he doesnt feel up to it omg!!! and john can understand and learn that dirk only likes very light touches on his body, he hates being hugged, he haaaates it so bad when hes upset, so john always just holds his hands and its cool

so definitely yeah, john and dirk would have a lot quieter relationship than if it were john and dave ,, dirk is always so stoic and quiet and it brings out this more Tender side of john when hes gotta be Sonft, even though its still pretty mild hehe, but dirk appreciates it so dang much

[variablejabberwocky]

So the idea of maid and sylph being paired is through creation, not healing. They bring more in not stitch together. Maid being active creation is seen through Aradia, Jane, and Porrims actions, Aradia created time, by beating up Vriska (which created an end to vriska's life) by stalling with doomed aradiabots against jack, and freezing him in time, buying time for others. Jane is seen creating life on her planet, by bringing the dead back only. Porrim separated her friends making space. 1/2

And on the passive, sylph create as a reaction. We see when people spend time with Kanaya they get distanced from others, pulled away, as happened to rose without Vriska, and Kanaya also unintentionally pulled Vriska away from others when they were Moirails. Instead of moving in to separate others, being around Kanaya separated others. Aranea also created light in a reactionary sense. She gave the player information only when asked, and only fixed terezi's eyes when asked, creating light. 2/3

The matter is that you seem to define passive/active as doing, not doing, when it works better as action, reaction. As such, maids go out and do, like princes go out and do, where sylphs react to their aspects lack, like bards react to their aspect's overabundance, so they act after, reacting to a lack or an abundance, where the maid and Prince act before there's a lack or an abundance. Active classes will prepare food before they are hungry, and passive will cook after they are. 3/3

there is a lot of shit going on here and i can’t parse some of it (prolly due to some spelling/grammar errors) but hoo boy i got shit to say that i prolly shouldn’t:

aradia killing someone is TAKING time from someone not “creating” it. so bad example.

forcing space between people seems less like “creating” space and more like “changing” what is already there. if they were to actually make an entirely new space to be in and then people went there instead of other places that would fit better. so far the only example ive seen of that is calliope’s hidey-hole.

anything have to do with vriska is gonna be tricky to pin down as one thing or the other because her whole deal in-comic was to be an agent of chaos and break the system as often and as hard as she could. so those are suspect examples, at best, because we don’t know how much was vriska fucking shit up and how much was the side-effects of other player’s classpects

where, exactly, in my recent posts did you see anything about how i define passive/active? or did you just pull that out of your ass? (rhetorical question!)

where does the CANON FREAKEN EXAMPLE RIGHT THERE IN MY POST come into play? never? just conveniently left by the road side? (again, rhetorical!)

“ranting” generally implies that its a vent post and not something that needs a three-part mini-novel response. especially one that, however innocently meant, completely ignores several points already made in the original post, and assumes shit on my part that i DID NOT SAY only to argue with the newly minted strawman

please take this somewhere other than my freaking inbox. argue with as many assumptions as you like there. or drop it. don’t let me get in the way of your plans for the night.

and by all means, continue sorting classpects and any other fandom stuff HOWEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT. what i think works and what you think works DO NOT HAVE TO BE THE SAME THING.

just leave me out of it.

im just not anywhere even remotely in the mood to deal with people fucking up what i said then acting surprised that what they claim to have heard was stupid. even for dumb fandom theorizing shit

[rurounidrift]

June 28 Blurr’s HOrror Stream - Life

A Hot Rod showed up. Drift fell all over himself.

Apparently he’s tired of the type of movie endings this one has, because he ranted a bit about it.

Welcome to the 'speedxstealer' room. The chat room has been cleared by the moderator. B l u r r: [[ fair warning, comcast is sucking asss today, so i may possibly lose the stream )) B l u r r: [[ im not even showing anythingand it's dropping frames ]] Hot Rod: ( iM HERE ) B l u r r: ( A SMOL! ) B l u r r: / skids in on fast pedes and vents. Hiss steam from pauldrons. He is here! / Soundwave: *Rumble stumbles in after him, slightly off-balance.* ItsyBitsySpyers: //Somebody catch th' plate on that fragger?// Hot Rod: *so conFUSED as he comes in* B l u r r: / snickers and flicks claws in his direction / B l u r r: Hnn? /a new face. He doesn't recognize it / Hot Rod: *squinty-eyed look at the others* "...Bonjour...?" Sunstreaker: -and he's here in place of Blaster tonight- B l u r r: ... /sharp tooth grin/ Bonjour. K-Kyeheheh. Hot Rod: *nervousness intensifies, as he plants his servos on his hips* "Alright, merci beaucoup, strange one." B l u r r: Blurr. /motions around with claws/ This is my ship. Sunstreaker: -glances around at the crowd. Only recognizes a few. Gets ready for a long night of not knowing what is going on- Hot Rod: *nods and looks around* It's a very... /nice/ ship. B l u r r: How sweet... B l u r r: You haven't even seen the best part of it yet. B l u r r: But, that's off limits for now. Hot Rod: "It's /quite/ alright. Im content on standing RIGHT HERE.." Bevel: *trundles in* B l u r r: Kyeheheh, if you want to. Whirl: *slinks in and makes his way for his hammock* Sunstreaker: -snorts, and goes to sit, somewhere out of the way- B l u r r: Snacks are set up. We just got new supplies, so they're all fresh. B l u r r: So, feel free to pick and choose. /vents/ Or what have you. Drift: *look who finally showed up!* B l u r r: / wiggles claws at / Drift: ((which continuity hot rod is here? 0v0)) Whirl: *sticks out the legy to rock his hammock* Anything liquid? And strong enough to strip the paint off ya? B l u r r: (( hes tyran, i think )) B l u r r: (( he new friend! )) B l u r r: Yes, we made liquid treats this time. Bevel: *waves to Blurr as she gets some of said liquid treats* B l u r r: / waves at Bevel / Drift: *wiggles fingers at blurr, and flops next to* B l u r r: / smirks at / B l u r r: D: where hot rod go? I was excite to see! )) Bevel: *now to find someplace to sit* Hot Rod: ( omg sorry IM HERE ) Whirl: And the "strong enough to strip your paint" bit? B l u r r: ( yay! ) B l u r r: ... Hell, I don't know. I have a different flavor pallette. B l u r r: But, I know one of them smells extremely sweet. Whirl: Hmm. *hauls himself up and stalks over to inspect them* Hot Rod: *claps his servos together* alright, i need names. Who are you all??? Bevel: *looks up from the drink she's grabbed* My name is Bevel. B l u r r: You already know me. /eyeing him/ And I think I know you. Hot Rod: ( eyes him back ) "Monsieur, I do not think you do." B l u r r: No, but... I could know you real fast. /licks sharp denta/ You look like you taste good. Whirl: *holds a glass under his helm, huffing in the scent* I... am Ultra Magnus. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble squawks. That's HIS joke!* Drift: I'm Drift. *nods at Whirl* Ultra Magnus over here is my second-in-command. Hot Rod: ( FROWNS ) "You touch me, I'm punching you, mon ami. I suggest you do not." Sunstreaker: Sunstreaker. B l u r r: K-KYAHAHAHA!! /kicks pedes. He's wheezing. He's joking/ Whirl: *you snooze you lose, pipsqueak* Drift: S'okay, Blurr doesn't eat guests unless they're causing trouble. Sunstreaker: -and just going to sigh at the joke. Really?- Bevel: *laughs* Hot Rod: ( nods at everyone else, offering a charming smile ) "Bonjour, quite a pleasure to meet you all. && I do not think you are Ultra Magnus?" Whirl: *sets the glass down, having apparently decided not to drink it* And why would that be? Hot Rod: "It eez... a gut feeling." B l u r r: / nudges Drift and snickers / He thought I was gonna actually eat him. Drift: Oh, that's just because he's not in his suit. Bulks him up a lot. Whirl: Well, you're wrong. As you can see, my fellows will vouch for me. Whirl: *retreats to his hammock* Sunstreaker: -No he won't- Hot Rod: "Alright, I stand by my beliefs." ( huffs ) "I have no idea who you are and I literally just came here. Can you blame me?" Bevel: *realized she clearly missed a chance to say she was Shockwave or Astrotrain or something* Whirl: Yes? I can? Whirl: You don't know a damn thing about me or where I come from. Why would I LIE? B l u r r: Stop picking on him, guys. What if I get in troubl-... / trails off/ Ah... Optimus Prime of Tyran breaking in to kill me. B l u r r: /SIIIIIGH / Whirl: He might very well step on you. Whirl: Slowly. B l u r r: He might... Hot Rod: ( confused french noises ) Hot Rod: ( perks up ) Hot Rod: "Man, Optimus is like my sire. He's rather cool!" ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave trudges in and looks over at Whirl.* B l u r r: ... you know him closely , then? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Ultra Magnus, Blurr, Bevel, Drift. Greetings.]] B l u r r: / waves at Soundwave / Whirl: *it's a good thing he's so dam good at poker faces* Soundwave. *nods gravely* Sunstreaker: ((SNEK! Primus-mun says hi ItsyBitsySpyers: *Parks himself on his seat.* ItsyBitsySpyers: ((hi!)) Whirl: ((YOOO)) Hot Rod: "Kinda close?" Hot Rod: "I'm pretty sure that even if we weren't close, he would still step on you." B l u r r: .... That's fantastic. B l u r r: Come sit with me and Drift. Sunstreaker: ((she's not having a good day, like at all B l u r r: (( hi Primus - mun! )) Drift: ((hullooo!)) Whirl: Yo. Pipsqueak. *clicks his vocalizer*

Missed a little. Hot Rod gave his name and Drift immediately, enthusiastically, and repeatedly welcomed him to their couch. Blurr called him out on it.

Drift: *swats at blurr* Life's too short for subtlety. I'm NOT scaring him away, I'm welcoming him. This is his first night here, right? It's polite. Hot Rod: [ looks very awkward and squints ] That would be a stupid law. B l u r r: / rolls optic/ Great, now you're gonna spend the whole time with him. /joking / Hot Rod: [ THEN looks at the other and hesitantly slides over ] "Zhen it would alright if I sit here?" B l u r r: Sure, I won't bite you. B l u r r: I'm under strict orders not to hurt your... kind. Drift: Yeah, absolutely! 0v0 Drift: *pokes blurr* Hey. I can spend time with BOTH of you, you know. B l u r r: Now where have I heard THAT before? Hot Rod: [ curious look ] You can't hurt MY kind? I do not understand? B l u r r: ...We're different. But, I know hurting you might back fire on me. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble manages to hoist himself up the leg, also with great dignity, and settles in.* B l u r r: [[ oh, does anyone need captions? I can turn it off. ]] Bevel: [[i do please B l u r r: [[ okie we leave them on! ]] Hot Rod: [ sits all prim and proper, jesus, rELAX HOT ROD ] "Hurting bots in general would backfire, irregardless." Whirl: *counter-settles and, content that his Clever Ruse is well underway, looks to the screen. And, staring fixedly at the screen, he veeery subtly nudges Rumble* Whirl: @R: Thanks, by the way. B l u r r: / rolls optic/ Oh, relax, Hot Rod. You're fine. I'm not gonna bite. B l u r r: Besides, Drift here would have a panic attack if I tried /snort/ ItsyBitsySpyers: @W: //Huh? What for? I mean, like, yer welcome 'n all, but I dunno why.// Drift: He's right. I'd panic, and then I'd attack. Whirl: @R: Basically all of Monday. Sunstreaker: -Can they not? Sunstreaker is off-duty now- Sunstreaker: -He'd like to remain off-duty- Hot Rod: ( HUFFS ) "I can handle myself in a fight. I am no damsel in distress." B l u r r: / snerk / Drift: Oh no no, of course not! B l u r r: Anyway, baguette, you're perfectly safe on my ship. So long as you don't cause damage. Whirl: *SNK* Whirl: *he approves of the nickname* ItsyBitsySpyers: @W: //Oh. Oh, yeah! No problem, mech. Got your back, swear.// Drift: ... "baguette"? B l u r r: It's a french thing. Hot Rod: ( HISSES LOUDLY ) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave eyes the new mech curiously* Whirl: *nudges again, in silent acknowledgement* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Just listening to that. And Rumble nudges back.* B l u r r: K-Kyeheheheh. Drift: *he /hisses/. wow.* Hot Rod: "Baguette is a STUPID nickname." Hot Rod: *he can make many other noises* Sunstreaker: -settles to watch humans being stupid on screen- B l u r r: Oh, is it? Well, I suppose I could come up with something later. B l u r r: [[ also, btw, some gore shyte is comin' up ]] Drift: I'll just call you Hot Rod. 0u0 Hot Rod: "It eez Hot Rod && ONLY HOT ROD" Hot Rod: "Merci beaucoup!" B l u r r: Aut ' 'Od? B l u r r: / smirking more / Whirl: *squints* what is it, like, an amoeba? Whirl: A very tiny barnacle...? Drift: *paps blurr's head* Don't make fun of him. B l u r r: / scoffs/ Sunstreaker: ...... Hot Rod: "HOT. ROD. You imbecile!" B l u r r: I'm just playing with hi- ItsyBitsySpyers: //Looks kinda like a... whatcha call it. Lich. Lichen... Leech!// B l u r r: .... /optic flare / Whirl: A leech. *blank stare. Pertraxia flashbacks* B l u r r: / engine growl / I am NOT an imbecile. Whirl: Not sure it's a leech... but it IS leech-like. Whirl: *he can understand the one scientist's pride. Who wouldn't love a horrid little blob baby.* Hot Rod: ( tips his helm up ) "Then call me by my proper designation." ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Heh. Node.]] B l u r r: That's what it SOUNDED like to me. B l u r r: Though, I admit. It's nice to meet an Autobot with some taste. Drift: ... How about both of you be nice to each other. Whirl: ExCUSE you. Whirl: I'M an Autobot and I have EXCELLENT taste. B l u r r: I meant from Tyran, you bolt. B l u r r: Aside from Roadbuster, I haven't met a mech who wanted to take control of an accent. B l u r r: I was COMPLIMENTING him. Hot Rod: ( clears throat and pronounces slowly ) "Hot. Rod. And of course, I know that I have excellent tastes." Hot Rod: ( ok you made him happy because his lil dorrwings are fluttering ) Bevel: Is Calvin gonna eat everyone? *knows what kinda movies Blurr shows by now* B l u r r: / smirks/ Hot Rod it is. Whirl: I hope it gorws into some kind of monster. I mean. That's what I EXPECT, of course. Hot Rod: ( pleased purr and settles to watch the movie ) B l u r r: I hope it's a monster. I love monsters. Bevel: *giggles* Whirl: *side-eyes Hot Rod; interesting noise. After a moment, he mimics the purr* Drift: I like the accent! *belatedly and uselessly* Whirl: *not quite purrfectly but very close* ItsyBitsySpyers: //Hey! Hey! We got accents. Just they don't sound like that one.// Jazz: *drops down from the ceiling and drapes over Soundwave's couch* BUDDY! Hot Rod: ( embarrassed smile now ) "Merci beaucoup, Drift." ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave is up off that couch, turned around, and waving wary feelers in a FLASH.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Primus.]] Jazz: *grins* Did I scare yah? Drift: *he got a smile!! smiles back brilliantly* Hot Rod: ( laughs at Whirl trying to mimic him. Does a little purring noise again ) Whirl: *mimics again--it's much better this time* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[You nearly lost your helm.]] Jazz: Whoa... new mech! ItsyBitsySpyers: *Pauses his irritation to look at the screen. Neural network?* Jazz: *looks at soundwave* Awww, you sound like you'd be sorry if I did. Whirl: Aww, look at it! Already growing. Most likely into something bloodthirsty. <3 B l u r r: Hopefully. Crosscut: Hello? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Yes, well. He does have an oath to keep. He would be loathe to break it.]] Crosscut: -enters- Jazz: *shrugs and struts across the room for some snacks* Sunstreaker: -Yep, crowd watching is more intersting right now- Whirl: *quick glance to Crosscut, but is not obvious about it* Jazz: Well, the all spark an' I thank yah, Sounders. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Yo!// Wave to Crosscut. He tries to make it not look as excited as it is. //Ain't seen you in a long time. How ya doin'?// ItsyBitsySpyers: [[You should.]] Whirl: *Look at the thing!* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Sits himself down and watches the creature with interest, now that Jazz is moved* Crosscut: Why helllo, I suppose it has been some time hasn't it? Whirl: *zoops towards the screen* B l u r r: [[ lmao poor whirl. ]] Whirl: ((IT'S CUTE THO)) B l u r r: [[ good luck. ]] B l u r r: [ DONT BLAME ME ]] Whirl: ((BY HIS STANDARDS)) Crosscut: I'm well, busy but well. Hot Rod: "Ewwwww... it's WIGGLING" Whirl: It's precious. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...How is it progressing so quickly...?]] ItsyBitsySpyers: //Yeah? Whatcha been up to?// Hot Rod: ( covers his face ) Crosscut: -is there room to sit by the tiny writer?- Whirl: *he's in the Hammock, but Whirl nudges him--if he wants to go to CC, he can* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Tiny writer is by Whirl, so that depends on Whirl* B l u r r: .. Are you scared of it? ItsyBitsySpyers: *Oh! He's being nudged. Well, he'll scamper over, then.* Jazz: *flashes visor and waves at the peeps he knows * Hot Rod: "It's gross and yes, its kinda scary" Whirl: *glances after him, looking briefly very satisfied with himself* B l u r r: K-Kyeheheh. Don't worry, it's just a movie. B l u r r: For now. Hot Rod: "But not as scary as the dinobots." Whirl: *JUST AS KEIKAKU* B l u r r: ... /makes a face/ Dinobots are... rather intimidating. Crosscut: -takes a seat- Well, looking into moving preperations mostly. Hot Rod: "If you saw MY dinobots, you would be terrified. The first time I saw them, i fainted" ItsyBitsySpyers: *Bounces up onto the seat just enough nearby to be friendly without going full fanboy.* B l u r r: I HAVE seen your dinobots. B l u r r: I don't want to see them ever again ItsyBitsySpyers: //Movin'? You leavin' the ship?// Hot Rod: "And when I woke up, i was in their nest for a few days." Crosscut: -Pfft, no mini bots in lap- Drift: Saw them. Watched a documentary. Crosscut: Yes, planning on it. B l u r r: /nudges thumb at Jazz/ He's more accustomed to them, honestly. Jazz: *sipping cube* they're snugglers. Whirl: The little tyke got loose. Sunstreaker: -wow, alarms from the lab. Surprise.- Hot Rod: *nods slightly* Hot Rod: "They like to... cuddle a lot." Hot Rod: "Normally im up for it, but its real scary" Jazz: Aw, they're just lonely sometimes. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Where ya gonna go? You gonna go politics again?// Jazz: *flashes visor* Jazz: I don't know you, do I? You're new. *grins* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[The Tyran Dinobots, snuggling?]] Crosscut: Just Cybertron. Hot Rod: ( thinks back to all the times he's been chased ) Crosscut: What? Oh no no, no politics anymore. B l u r r: / nudges Drift / Hey. Maybe he can get Optimus to kill me and you can go celebrate with him. Hot Rod: "I don't... think I've met you either?" Drift: Shut up. Optimus can maim you, but killing is off-limits. Jazz: Probably not. Been gone for a while. *holds out claw* Name's Jazz. First Lieutenant, mech. B l u r r: Okay, but that doesn't mean you can't hang out with him. /pokes Drift's helm/ Crosscut: I have enough savings, I'm going to focus on my writing mostly, or that's the plan at least. B l u r r: You giant flirt. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Crosscut's gonna write again?* Hot Rod: ( takes his hands and shakes it ) Hot Rod, soldier and World War 2 veteran. Pleasure to met you Jazz: *grins and magnets to his servo. Shake shake* Sunstreaker: -watching screen again. What are the humans doing this time?- ItsyBitsySpyers: //Awesome. Got enough politics mechs around.// Sunstreaker: ... Sunstreaker: ............ Drift: Oh, you've been on Earth that long? Hot Rod: ( confused looks to their servos ) Hot Rod: ( goodness, are they sTUCK ) Hot Rod: ( nods happily ) "Oui! I have been there for that long." Whirl: *recoils a bit. mmmmmm* Drift: *... he's going to lose a hand* Whirl: *VERY QUICKLY LOOKS AT HIS HAMMOCK* Sunstreaker: -well slag- ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble pings Whirl.* Drift: *distraction time* Hey! Whirl! Hot Rod: "whats happening" Jazz: *shake shake and releases servo* Sunstreaker: -That's not good- Jazz: I don't remember you...  but you feel familiar. Hot Rod: ( tERRIFIED SQUEAKING ) Drift: Whirl, have you put more thought into the whole—ship—thing? The little ship. B l u r r: / uh. Awkward. Uhm. Pats Hot Rod's uh... arm...? / Drift: *was drift too late* Whirl: *antenna twitches; he's still looking down* Sunstreaker: -stares and doesn't like where this is going- Sunstreaker: And it is out Crosscut: -watching the film- Drift: *was clearly too late* Crosscut: ((NO! Not that cute fat boy!)) ItsyBitsySpyers: //...Is it gonna go Alien on it?//

Missed some, idk how much. Crosscut got scurred.

ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble nudges Crosscut.* ItsyBitsySpyers: //You holdin' up, mech?// Crosscut: W-what? Oh..no, I mena yes. Crosscut: I'm fine.. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Note to self. Crosscut probably isn't ever going to write scary stories.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[They should never have shocked it.]] Crosscut: -He's fine with scary stuff!  just not...parasites or things similar to it.- Drift: ... Listen, Whirl. I know that you're... Sunstreaker: That was...a very bad idea Drift: *mm. no. don't say that.* You can stay on the Lost Light, if you want. It's just...it's not a ship anymore—it's more like an apartment complex. Drift: Nobody HAS to leave. Whirl: And stay there. On Cybertron. Hot Rod: ok, this isnt that scary anymore B l u r r: [[ so i missed all of that 8') ]] Drift: ... I take it that's a no. B l u r r: [[ had to be the convenient "yell at speedy" time ]] Whirl: With Starscream, and the NAILs. *his voice is getting flatter and flatter; when Whirl's not actively trying to emote, his voice sounds very dronelike* Whirl: No. Whirl: It's definitely a no. Drift: *nods* ItsyBitsySpyers: //Humans really gotta stop goin' to space.// Crosscut: ((My sassy sassy rat, so big and cute and fat~)) ItsyBitsySpyers: //They don't do nothin' but get killed.// Crosscut: Hah ha. Bevel: [[this is too much for me, i'm gonna step out,  night everyone Drift: ((gnight)) Sunstreaker: ((g'night! B l u r r: Humans should stay away from space in general. Sunstreaker: .........so, two down already? Whirl: ((gnight!)) Hot Rod: "Humans are so cute, i love them" Hot Rod: ( night! hope you feel better soon, sweetpea~ <3 ) Crosscut: Who si that actor? Crosscut: He's so familar.. B l u r r: Humans disgust me... but I digress ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Which one?]] Jazz: I used to like 'em... *huffs* Now I'm just picky. Crosscut: I enjoy them. Hot Rod: ( excited look ) "I especially like the French people!" Jazz: Yo, French people are great. Jazz: They got the best style! Crosscut: They value entertainment more than most planets, they're very creative....It may hold them back quite a bit but they're very rich in culture. Whirl: *glances over, briefly* How d'you feel about French cinema? Crosscut: I quite enoy it, one of the first Earth languages I learned actually. Crosscut: *enjoy Whirl: ...well, I was talking to Hot Rod, but no reason not to poll the room. Crosscut: (omg im sorry i can't type tonight, i am juggling a rat in my hands- Crosscut: __ Crosscut: )) Whirl: ((A GOOD RAT)) Crosscut: ((He is good)) Drift: ((you notice how they kinda sway/bob back and forth while they're talking, since they're floating and all?)) Hot Rod: "I really do like French Cinema, especially their animations! They are very good." Drift: ((imagine the actors standing on solid ground and slowly leaning back and forth to pretend they're floating)) Crosscut: ((cut)) Crosscut: *cute Sunstreaker: ((hah! Jazz: (( pffft)) Whirl: If you've not checked out Jean-Luc Godar's work, you should. Whirl: ...y'know, it's been a while since we had Cukture Club. Whirl: *Culture ItsyBitsySpyers: //Lil while, yeah.// Whirl: .....*Godard ((GDI)) Drift: Whose turn is it? Whirl: Prowl's, I think. B l u r r: What is a culture club? Hot Rod: "Oh! Thank you, ill keep that in mind!" B l u r r: Humans are so hard to restart. Crosscut: ((-imaging all the typos tonight as drunken slurring- )) Drift: /Ugh/. Whirl: It's a thing I host every now and then. We all pick movies, and watch them. Whirl: You're welcome to come, as always. B l u r r: ... Ah. B l u r r: / frowns/ Cultural things? Whirl: Though I... guess I don't. Know where we're gonna do 'em, now. B l u r r: I'm afraid I've been stunted on culture thanks to the Decepticons. B l u r r: ... It's beautiful. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Stop attacking it.]] Whirl: Precious! ItsyBitsySpyers: [[It reminds him a little of octopuses.]] B l u r r: It's smart... very smart. B l u r r: It's learning... /smirks/ Crosscut: That's terrifying. B l u r r: I want one. Sunstreaker: Humans have a...very /very/ active imagnation ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Fascinating.]] Whirl: Strong little guy. B l u r r: ... Oh, you're an idiot. B l u r r: That's not how you survive. Crosscut: No, stay in there. B l u r r: well, if they didn't attack it, it wouldn't be defending itself. B l u r r: It saw them as the enemy the instant one of them attacked it B l u r r: so, if one is hurting it, to Calvin, they all will. Drift: I think hating somethinig that just killed three of your friends is pretty rational, actually. B l u r r: Hating something is easy. Whirl: I mean, if it were me, I'd try and find a way to kill it regardless of whose fault it was. Sunstreaker: -watching in mild fascination again- B l u r r: Survival calls for killing it, yes. Hot Rod: "Oh gosh, this is-- an oh gosh moment" Hot Rod: OH MON DIEU Hot Rod: MERDEEEE Drift: *looks at Hot Rod* You all right? B l u r r: He's having a moment. Hot Rod: "I would say oui, but non Sunstreaker: Yikes Hot Rod: I am not ok B l u r r: It's just a movie. It won't hurt you. B l u r r: They don't have escape pods? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[And if it got in one with them?]] Jazz: ... Yah blow up the one it's in. Jazz: Or yah push it out into space. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[With what?]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Motions to the screen.* Jazz: Shouldn't escape pods have navigation? Jazz: I mean, ours did. Sorta. Sunstreaker: ........ B l u r r: It's eating the other crew, too? Whirl: Looks like it. B l u r r: Well It's hungry. B l u r r: Well, he had a newborn. By horror logic, he was slated to die. Hot Rod: "oh no, sho.i loved u" Sunstreaker: I...have no more words left for this movie Whirl: Look at the little guy crawling. Whirl: ...well, that looks bad. ItsyBitsySpyers: //New rule: take swords to space.// B l u r r: If they're worried about their planet... B l u r r: why don't they just use what they can to get themselves further from Earth? B l u r r: Instead of struggling to go back Whirl: Best to keep a sword on you at all times. Just in case. Drift: They don't HAVE anything to get themselves further from Earth. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Where's yours?// Sunstreaker: Because they are being idiotic Drift: They're out of fuel, the little mini-rocket thing broke off... They're out of stuff. B l u r r: But they're still struggling to find a way back. Whirl: *shifts a bit, flopping back on the hammock, and whips his sword out of subspace. He points it straight up at the ceiling* Drift: Were they? I thought they were just kinda, being resigned here to not going back. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Holy frag. I didn't think ya actually had one.// B l u r r: Maybe. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Boss. Boss, I want a sword.// ItsyBitsySpyers: [[We will ask Bevel.]] Crosscut: Goodness, whirl put that away. Whirl: Yep. *still holding it aloft* Picked it up on the batle for Luna-1. B l u r r: .I have swords built into my frame. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Yeah?// Whirl: Dunno who you're talking to, Crosscut. I'm Ultra Magnus. B l u r r: Yep. Crosscut: BT B l u r r: / snort / B l u r r: / He's finding this character slightly endearing / Whirl: *he feels you, pilot guy* Jazz: *sad face* Whirl: *at last, puts his sword away, but doesn't un-flop* Crosscut: ((I know it's the end but I'm falling asleep)) Whirl: ((if you're headin out, GNIGHT MY DUDE)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((gently blankets you)) B l u r r: /nudges Drift / Drift: Hm? Drift: ... Isn't HER turning on the candle gonna mess up the plan? B l u r r: I would lure some alien creature away for you. Crosscut: ((I'm gonna try to stick it out.)) Sunstreaker: ((g'night! Sunstreaker: ((or not Whirl: ((HANG IN THERE)) Drift: Aww. I'd lure one away for you. Drift: ... But we should fight it together. B l u r r: But if it came down to saving your planet, I'd rather lure it away. Drift: Don't need to lure it if we kick its aft together. B l u r r: Mm true. Whirl: ((its loving embrace)) Drift: ... Where's she going? She's going to mess up the plan. B l u r r: oh she's in it. Crosscut: -nodding off, starting to tilt over to the side- Drift: *scoots to edge of seat.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave stretches a feeler out and tips Crosscut upright* Drift: ... I swear, if they decide to pull some "it falls to Earth and the last thing we see is it surviving and heading to civilization" slag... Whirl: *is presently a limp pile of elbows on his hammock, with a head zooping lazily out* B l u r r: What do you expect?Humans can only think so far. Drift: That's got nothing to do with humans. That's gonna be on the movie makers. Crosscut: -is pushed back up into a sitting position, but optics still dim- Drift: If the movie makers decide do that, I'll be torqued. B l u r r: ... Drift, those are humans. Drift: ... I thought you were talking about the characters. B l u r r: No, I meant the people who make the movies. Sunstreaker: And here comes the mess Whirl: At least it's happening for a reason--Calvin's doing it. Drift: Oh. Then no, I'm not talking about their ability to think so far, either. I'm talking about their decision to have a HAPPY ENDING. B l u r r: Happy endings don't exist. Whirl: *mmm TIME TO LOOK AWAY AGAIN PERHAPS* Drift: And a happy ending is an ending that doesn't finish with humans being endangered. Drift: They do in movies. B l u r r: Then it's more realistic for it not to end happily. Drift: I don't want a realistic ending. I want a happy ending where they save their planet. B l u r r: ... /shrugs / B l u r r: It's so CUTE. Whirl: *peeks back* Crosscut: ((smooch)) B l u r r: Maybe I'm just cynical. /completely is / Drift: ... Yeah, I think they made it to deep space. We're good. Crosscut: -flops forward, laying over own lap- Sunstreaker: -sits back to watch- ItsyBitsySpyers: *Tips up again and taps with feeler claws.* B l u r r: / flexes claws/ I'm not even allowed back on my planet. So maybe my attachment is a little strained. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Yo. Yo, you're missin' the end, mech.// Crosscut: Wha-...huh? Crosscut: Oh! Oh i'm -yawns- sorry. Drift: ... Yeah, fair. ItsyBitsySpyers: //'S cool.// Drift: ((it froze, what's happening???)) Sunstreaker: .............. B l u r r: [[ oh, she mcfuckled and went into deep space. ]] Crosscut: ((It froze what happened? B l u r r: he brought calvin to earth ]] Crosscut: I'm gonna guess his ship landed and hers got flipped into space? Drift: DAMMIT! Sunstreaker: There goes Earth B l u r r: [[ she tried to pilot ]] B l u r r: [[ and fuckked it up ]] B l u r r: [ SO THATS HER FAULT TBH ] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((the hit to the solar panel *** up her system and piloting so she went into deep space)) Whirl: Interesting, that Calvin kept him alive. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((and calvin stopped him finishing the manual override)) B l u r r: For a reason, I'm sure. Drift: I asked for ONE THING! B l u r r: It's a movie. Whirl: *blinks, and then gives a little snort* Whirl: Spirit in the Sky, eh? ItsyBitsySpyers: //Well, he's smart, ain't he?// B l u r r: / shrugs/ Besides, Earth is a disgusting planet. Crosscut: That was, well...a rather predictable ending. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Horror films often have them.]] Crosscut: This is true. B l u r r: I have no idea why anyone is surprised. Crosscut: Do like this song though. Sunstreaker: You mean there are other endings besides 'everyone dies?' Drift: Yeah, there's sometimes "the enemy is defeated and a single female survives." Crosscut: -rubs helm- Sorry for dozzing like that. B l u r r: Well. Sunstreaker: -snorts- Close enough B l u r r: I like that the monster didn't die. Crosscut: I'm more tired than I though I guess. Drift: No! It's different! Because this ending is an apocalypse. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Hey, you oughta recharge.// Jazz: Earth IS an apocalypse... Jazz: in most situations. Drift: I'm sick of implied apocalypses. I /lived/ through one. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Then perhaps you should watch happier movies.]] Drift: Multiple! Multiple apocalypses! Crosscut: Yes, I suppose I should. Sunstreaker: Mech, most of us here have Crosscut: I will. I'm going. -stands on tired, stumbly legs- B l u r r: Horror movies are horror for a reason. The outcome isn't a success. most of the time. B l u r r: That's the "horror" Drift: I know! Why aren't more of you annoyed that it's gotta end with an implied apocalypse? ItsyBitsySpyers: //Don't fall asleep drivin' or - however ya move. Seeya, mech.// Whirl: C'mon, Drift, surely we could go through a few more apocalypses before we're done. Sunstreaker: Because it is /fiction/ B l u r r: / looks at Drift / My Master /wanted/ an apocalypse. Drift: No, the horror is the stuff that happens DURING the movie. I want it—I'd like it all wrapped up and OKAY again at the end. Drift: Yeah but that doesn't count, because I'd be rooting for you guys. Sunstreaker: We just watched a horror movie ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble bounces back to the hammock, thrilled that he spent most of the movie with a secret idol, and attempts to scramble in* B l u r r: I would be angry if they killed the monster. B l u r r: It was defensive the entire movie. Crosscut: Goodnight. Jazz: I dunno... I'm kinda leanin' on Drift's side. I mean, if it's fiction, then I guess a better endin' would make more sense. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Night!// Crosscut: -waves before turning to take his leave- It was nice seeing you again, Rumble. A shame we don't get to do so more often. Drift: I /just/—I want more movie endings that don't imply that humanity is going to go extinct. Sunstreaker: Yes, a happier end would have been nice Whirl: *un-flops and shifts to make room* Jazz: Humans sure don't give two scraps about any other species goin' extinct... Sunstreaker: But apparently the writers thought differently Jazz: *scratches helm* But, I don't wanna see their race run out, either. Drift: Oh NOW you're agreeing that a happier ending would have been nice? After snarking at me for the past five minutes? Drift: I'd just—I'd like a FEW more that are terrifying for two hours, and then after the two hours the humans are, presumably, going to be okay. Not ALL humans. The main cast can die, I don't care. Drift: But humanity, in general. Sunstreaker: You are taking a work of fiction too seriously Drift: Shut up. Let me have my damn opinion. Whirl: *nudges Rumble* You should ring him up sometime. He's not a hard mech to get a hold of. Sunstreaker: You have your opinion, I have mine Sunstreaker: And if I have to respect yours, then kindly /do the same/ Drift: Yeah, and I didn't ask you what you think of mine. B l u r r: Ohfor pit sake... B l u r r: / rubbing temples / You liked the ending. You hated it. There. B l u r r: We're done Drift: I never said you can't have my opinion. I'm just sitting over here talking about mine while you're— Drift: one—implying that there ARE no other endings—two—implying I'm an idiot for having an opinion based on living through apocalypses because oh wow, so have other people— Sunstreaker: You got upset over the fact that not everyone in the room shared yours ItsyBitsySpyers: //No fraggin' way.// Nudges back, following with a private comm because everyone doesn't need to know his fanboying. B l u r r: / scrubs claws over faceplate / Drift: —three—implying I'm an idiot for having an opinion over FICTION—and four—acting like having a damn opinion is "taking things too seriously." ItsyBitsySpyers: @W: //What'm I gonna do, ask him to sign a datapad? C'mon. Probably looked dumb runnin' over there anyway.// Whirl: *prudently also switches over* R: He's not standoffish. You can just TALK. Drift: No, I got upset at your fragging attitude. A care a lot less about the movie now than I do about you apparently having a problem with the fact that I was annoyed over it. Drift: So shut up. You're not cool for acting apathetic about the end of a movie. B l u r r: / twitches finials/ ItsyBitsySpyers: @W: //But I -don't- talk. Not, like. Not where all everybody sees. I'm gonna go to the rebuildin' site. They hear I'm talkin' to old senators 'n writers 'n I'm gonna get a girder to the faceplates.// Drift: *huffs. turns back to blurr.* Anyway. B l u r r: Mm? B l u r r: / now velocity wants to argue. / Drift: Sad 'bout the humans, but at least the monster DID live. So that's a plus. Sunstreaker: -sorry, he zoned out for a moment, he had to answer a call- B l u r r: I liked the monster. Sunstreaker: ((because mun wandered off, my bad Drift: ... I mean /I'm/ sad 'bout the humans. I know you aren't. S'fine. Whirl: @R: So, kick their as s. B l u r r: I just... have a hard time. B l u r r: Finding sympathy for them. Whirl: @R: Since when do THEY get to tell you what you can and can't do? *snorts* Drift: Yeah, I know. That's okay. Drift: My experiences with Earth were... nice. The only bad parts were the parts caused by Decepticons. B l u r r: .. /huffs/ Drift: Your experiences... weren't good. I don't blame you for not caring about them. B l u r r: I care about a few, I guess. B l u r r: But it's not because of me. B l u r r: It's because of someone else. Sunstreaker: -stands up, shaking his helm- Thank you for the movie, but I just got called into the med-bay Sunstreaker: Good night. Drift: Yeah? The ones you know now? B l u r r: Mm... B l u r r: / vents and sinks down/ And I went out the other night with Rodimus, against better judgment. B l u r r: / scratches helm/ Stupid idea. My bounty on Cybertron is incredibly high- higher than Magnus. Drift: ... Well, YOU'RE not dead. So is he? ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble makes frustrated motions with his hands. How does he put this without looking weak?* B l u r r: No. Drift: Damn. B l u r r: / looks at the ceiling/ We drank for a while. /flickers optic/ He said he was sorry. Drift: You're still alive though. That's good. Drift: HA! B l u r r: But, I don't believe he's sorry for everything. Drift: Why, what's he want? B l u r r: He just.. wanted to talk. B l u r r: It felt weird. Drift: No no, I mean what's he REALLY want? B l u r r: I don't know. B l u r r: I drank too much. My processor glitched out and I shut down. B l u r r: I'm not supposed to ... Drift: Pfeh. Drift: ... Blurr, why in the world did you let him talk you into drinking? Drift: He was probably trying to fry your processor and kill you. B l u r r: Maybe. ItsyBitsySpyers: @W: //I ain't afraid of kickin' aft. But listen, I'm five times smaller'n you 'n don't nobody respect minicons right. I probably already gotta fight like 20 mechs jus' so won't nobody try nothin'.-- ItsyBitsySpyers: The frag I wanna make it 40 for?// ItsyBitsySpyers: *Hi, he doesn't have very good opinions of most huge bots.* B l u r r: He didn't seem like he was trying. B l u r r: Even so... he erased my bounty. Drift: That's /acting/, Blurr. Drift: ... He definitely wants something out of you, then. He wants you to do something. B l u r r: I have nothing I can do. Drift: If he asks you for ANYTHING in the future, don't agree until you know EXACTLY what he's going to get out of it—including the stuff he isn't telling you. B l u r r: I won't be doing him favors. Drift: Like slag. You have a pirate crew. He could try to manipulate you into attacking his enemies for him. B l u r r: My slate is full right now. B l u r r: Speaking of which. I need you to do me a favor soon. Drift: Like—what if he said "hey, this planet has a treasure I've heard, here's a map as an apology for what a slagger I've been," and really the planet is just one of his enemies. Drift: Oh—yeah? What? B l u r r: Hnh... I can just steal the treasure and leave the planet. Drift: There's no treasure. It's a lie he told you to get you to attack it. B l u r r: In a few weeks, I need you to at least come onto The Emperor once every few days to check on the crew. Whirl: *tilts his head, considering; he can sort of see this position, though not in the exact way Rumble does. He has, after all, dealt with people trying to stop him from doing what he wants* Drift: Yeah, sure. No problem. *he's been spending a lot more time over here anyway* Whirl: @R: If THAT'S the case... then see to it that they don't find out. I won't rat you out to 'em, if you talk here. B l u r r: Cool. Thanks. B l u r r: They're gonna need some watching. B l u r r: They tend to get roudy without me on the ship. Whirl: @R: And, luckily for you, you happen to know a spymaster. Drift: Yeah? Where are you going? B l u r r: As for the planet and treasure, well. I guess I would just bounce and not do anything- what? B l u r r: Oh. /shrugs shoulders/ Roadbuster needs help. B l u r r: Scrap's going sour in his universe. Drift: What's up? Need another warrior down there? ItsyBitsySpyers: @W: //...You better swear. Cause I ain't afraid of kickin -your- aft neither.// B l u r r: No. / said that way too fast/ B l u r r: I mean.. I can ask him. But I don't know if it's strictly Wrecker stuff or not. B l u r r: I bet he'd like you... Jazz: *flips over to sit next to Soundwave. Sliiides up next to* Whirl: *he's gonna swivel his helm to fix Rumble with his optic* @R: You think I WOULD? Drift: ... If you're sure. B l u r r: / vents/ It might be more dangerous than I think. B l u r r: I don't want to drag you down there. Drift: You think I can't handle danger? B l u r r: No, I know you can. B l u r r: It's not that I think you're incapable. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave casually lifts a hand and puts it on Jazz's head so he can't come any closer than he already is.* Jazz: *grins* 'Ey, did you hear that rumor about us? Jazz: * B) * Drift: *crooked, not-really-happy smile* It's not like I've got anybody at home waiting for me. I might as well be out watching your back. B l u r r: ... /shifts a little. Turns behind him and hisses/ Shut UP. B l u r r: / looks back at Drift/ I'll ask... Drift: Anyway. I'd like to meet Roadbuster. And whoever else you've got over there. B l u r r: Roadbuster. Topspin. B l u r r: Crosshairs is a useless fragger. Drift: Whatever Velocity just siad, it was a lie. B l u r r: Drift is all right... B l u r r: He's not as cool as you. Drift: Oh! The triplechanger me? B l u r r: Mmhm. B l u r r: You already know Jazz. Drift: Hey, I wanna meet my alternate. B l u r r: Well, I'll see if he wants to meet up sometime. ItsyBitsySpyers: @W: //...No. It's--// And there's the frustrated hands again. //Ex-Decepticon. Y'know how that scrap is sometimes.// B l u r r: The problem is... they just... /fiddling with claws / They're acting different. They used to be this ring. And I was a dot on the far left ItsyBitsySpyers: [[What rumor about us? And what do you mean, 'us'?]] B l u r r: But, when I come over, they just... open the ring. B l u r r: I don't know what they want from me. Jazz: Yah know. Somethin' about you likin' my claws. Drift: ... Maybe they want you to join the ring. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He does NOT like your claws. He HATES your claws.]] B l u r r: Impossible. Drift: ((SO ATTRACTIVE)) Jazz: I dunno, man. Jazz: They said you thought they were attractive. Drift: ((IT'S AS THOUGH THEY PULL HIM IN)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((LOOK YOU)) Drift: ((HE'S DRAWN TO THEM)) Whirl: *the top shutter of his optic comes down and he regards Rumble with wry amusement* @R: I'm sure I don't, actually. Drift: ((cmon now, i know that soundwave and jazz are very different, but you know what they say)) Drift: ((opposites attract)) B l u r r: [[ omfg ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((i'm going to find you and pour chicken grease on everything you love)) Drift: ((gasp)) Drift: ((what if i say i love all my friends, including you)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble grunts.* @W: //I'm shuttin' up before I get my leg in my mouth too.// ItsyBitsySpyers: ((then i'll nibble a drumstick while i do it)) B l u r r: / vents / Anyway. I'll let you know as things come up. /pats Drift / B l u r r: Sometimes I don't come back for a while. Dart is used to those moments. Whirl: *snorts and nudges him* @R: You're good. No harm, no foul. But yeah. I won't blab. If you get obvious about it, I'll tell you. B l u r r: / Dart panicks / Whirl: @R: Got your back. *this choice of words is, ofc, intentional* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[You are as attractive as a bucket of rust. He would not proposition you if you tied Autobot command's worst secrets to your frame and rested on a bed of silver.]] Drift: ((... undress him.)) Jazz: ... Whoa. *lifts claws* Bro, slow down. I got me a mech. Drift: ((then leave with his clothes.)) Jazz: You need to sloooow the frag down. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble is quiet for a second, then nudges back with a grin. Thanks.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Oh, for Pit's sake.]] Jazz: I just think it's funny some mech out there wants to see us together, ya know? Jazz: Gotta run that by m'space wife. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[It's probably YOU trying to bother him.]] Jazz: Nah, it was NOT me. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Are you sure? You're the one constantly trying to hold his hand.]] B l u r r: / flops on Drift/ You wanna go explore this abandoned temple I found? Drift: DO I?? B l u r r: ... Do you? B l u r r: That's what I asked you. Jazz: 'Ey, you HELD it for as long as yah could, so  that's on you, too. Drift: ... That was a yes. Hell yes. B l u r r: Ah... well. Good. Because our maps are indicating we're getting close. B l u r r: By the way. Skychaser misses you. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[You magnetized yourself to him!]] Drift: Does it have treasure, or just the next step in the treasure? Drift: *brightens* Yeah? I haven't seen him in a while, we should hang out. Drift: Hey, how's he been liking space travel? Whirl: *he simple nods, and streeetches* All right. Up, you rust-bucket. Time for me to go. B l u r r: It has a treasure, it says. B l u r r: /twitches finials/ Oh, he's enjoying it... a lot more than I thought. B l u r r: He pilots the ship when I don't Drift: Heh. I'm not surprised. B l u r r: He's gotten a little more outspoken. ItsyBitsySpyers: //I'm scootin'. Seeya, Ultra Magnus. Have fun polishin' your hammer.// Snicker. Whirl: *SNRK* Whirl: *tosses Rumble a salute before he clambers out* Seeya, losers. ItsyBitsySpyers: *A nod from the other seat.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[We should be going.]] Soundwave looks at Jazz and pulls his hand away. [[-Without you,- whatever your rumors say.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble flips himself out of the hammock and jogs over to the Boss. Up on the arm he goes.* Jazz: *snickers and looks at Drift * He digs me, don't he? Drift: ... WHAT rumors? Whirl: *bobs his head at everyone else and trots off; it has been A Night* Whirl: *and not necessarily a great one* Jazz: So, this gray dude contacts me and says Sounders is sweet on me. Drift: Uh huh? Jazz: So I bring it up and now Sounders is all in denial. Jazz: All he's gotta do is says he digs me. I ain't gonna get mad. Hell, I'm a good lookin' mech. Drift: ... Okay, let's get something straight. Drift: If somebody said that about Soundwave, and it WASN'T true—he wouldn't ever even let the message get through. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[--WHAT.]] Drift: So he's definit— Oh, you're still here. Jazz: *LAUGHS* Drift: *gonna. bite his lips shut.* B l u r r: / snickering against Drift / ItsyBitsySpyers: *You're in trouble, Drift. He doesn't know what kind, yet. But you are.* Drift: *is it balanced out by the fact that he implied you're such a master of communications you can even control your own gossip* ItsyBitsySpyers: *...Somewhat. 10% of his ire chipped off.* Drift: Ssso I should probablyyy go check on my crew... B l u r r: ... Oh, right. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Yes. Unless you have any other incredibly unwise things to say in his presence.]] Jazz: Aw, come on, Sounders. Jazz: We're just kiddin' Drift: Ha ha... ha... That was a... it was... you know I don't really... ahhh... ItsyBitsySpyers: *Leeeeeans closer to Drift.* B l u r r: / HISSES / Drift: Gonna... just... *he's gonna try to figure out how best to get to theDISJDLFJS GOING FASTER heads to the door while taking the WIDEST route away from Soundwave* Drift: *if that includes climbing over couches, so be it* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Straightens up and watches Drift flee, pleased.* Drift: *he is out the door* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Turns to Blurr.* [[And you. Don't think he didn't hear you laughing.]] B l u r r: I laugh at everything. Drift: *and ducks his head back in* The war is over! You shouldn't be afraid of your feelings! B l u r r: You shouldn't be surprised. Drift: **** DASHES* ItsyBitsySpyers: *FEELER SHOOTS OUT AT DRIFT* Jazz: *LAUGHING HARDER* Drift: *TOP SPEED* ItsyBitsySpyers: [][][]One of these days, you're gonna die laughing.[][][] B l u r r: Probably. Drift: *IF HE DIES FOR THE CAUSE OF LOVE IT WILL NOT BE IN VAIN* B l u r r: I mean, it's almost happened. B l u r r: / smirks and stares at Soundwave / ItsyBitsySpyers: *IT'S NOT LOVE, FOR PRIMUS' SAKE. HE LIKES THE -OTHER- SOMETIMES SIC.* B l u r r: / welcome to the voices laughing and snickering / Drift: *LMAO SOUNDS FAKE* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He'll be sure to attend your smelting when it does.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Trudges out. Enough of this nonsense.* B l u r r: Good. Jazz: *grins and waves* Bye bye~

[babystoney]

just another emo rant

because i have no actual friends lol but that's my fault i guess. i think i'm gonna give up pretending i'm a good person trying to make up for all my mistakes and just accept that i'll always be fucking shitty and that it's probably a good thing i've never had any really close friends. my only 100% real down af best friend i dated and yeaaa..yea. then there's my close friend since elementary school who is completely off the shits now and barely responds to any of my texts but it's cool man. someone who should've been my best friend i ended up fucking for months and going crazy so now he hates me and i feel like complete shit every time i text him about anything even though he's one of the few people i can't vent to who actually listens. but he hates me and i'm tired of being a fucking burden on everyone's life man. then i fuck up all potential friendships by being a dumbass. i've always been so bad with being honest because i can't help but tell people what they wanna hear and i think that's my biggest problem. i get too fucking caught up in everything and now i'm dating someone just as fucked up as me and i can't even tell if i really love him or am just getting caught up. like i think i do..but i always think i do and i really don't wanna hurt anyone else but i need to talk to someone and i don't know?? i don't know man i'm so stuck i have waves of happiness and motivation but then i have waves of i can't even get out of bed or eat because i'm so depressed and i don't know man i'm giving up on myself again. i'm not gonna kill myself or anything because i care for my family and dogs way too much to do that to them but im also too broke to start a new life somewhere else so here i am..just stuck n alone idk i hope no one actually reads this i'm procrastinating on a history paper and crying because i suck lol rant over