#im gonna need a few more months to think about it 🤞

[rucow]

if u know me well enough then u know that i love painting ppl's portraits. especially pretty men 👉👈

[love-belle]

you were my summer love !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their fall-in-love-again era is them missing each other while their friends go crazy over their relationship.

or

for when you know they'll be your love for all eternal summers. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // pierre gasly x fem!reader

prequel - i want sweet revenge and i want him again ⋆·˚ ༘

warnings - language, mention of vodka once.

author's note - i am in fact not dead :) i hope u all like this <3 i will be back with a new post 4 months later jk I LOVE U THANK U

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by pierregasly, y/n4eva, gasly10 and 56,828 others

paddock.club pierre gasly and celine d'souza have called it quits on their relationship after almost three months of dating, sources close to the pair reported. the pair started dating back in august after gasly broke up with his "summer love", y/n y/l/n, affectionately named as augustine by gasly and his fans. although their break up was kept hush for a long time and so was their relationship, pierre wasted no time in moving on and with none other than social media influencer, celine d'souza. "there is no bad blood between them," sources claimed, "they just didn't fit well and it was no good trying to make it work." for more details about their short-lived relationship and the driver's summer romance with the singer, click on the link in our bio.

comments are disabled for this post

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55, landonorris and 2,518,916 others

yourusername yeah i miss the way he kisses and the way he grabbed my ass but i can't do anything about it so idk i cry

14,782 comments

username GIRL WHERE IS UR FILTER

username Y/N NO!!!!!!!!! WE DO NOT GO BACK TO OUR EX!!!!!!!!!

username ngl this version of get him back is fire

username girl get UP

username no bc his dick game couldn't have been THIS good

-> yourusername TIME OUT FOR U 😭

-> username be fr is he really THIS funny

username girl WHY DO U NEVER LEARN

username im honestly gonna kms WHY ARE U DOING THIS TO URSELF

username the gasp i js gasped

charles_leclerc go stand in the corner and THINK

-> yourusername SHUT UP UR LITERALLY NOT VALID HERE

username every day i wake up and every day im amazed that she has managed to attain unattainable levels of delusion

-> username no bc im TIRED

username PLS BABE LET HIM GO.

username y/n have u learnt NOTHING

username the lyric change gawd dayum

username is it bad i kinda want her to do something about it ????? like do it for US im off school for weeks and i need entertainment

-> yourusername thank u for supporting my delusions 🙁

-> username GIRLYPOP NO

landonorris i say we start treating y/n like a bad kitten every time she makes a bad decision

-> landonorris that came out wrong

-> danielricciardo i see your vision here

-> charles_leclerc spray her with water DRENCH THAT DEMON

-> yourusername OFF MY PAGE U UNFORTUNATE MUTATIONS THAT ARE UNEMPLOYED FOR THE FIRST FEW MONTHS EVERY YEAR

-> username OH MY GOD

username i genuinely do not know what to do with this information

username THE WAY HE GRABBED MY ASS OMG

lewishamilton i would genuinely appreciate it if you gave me back my son

-> yourusername he's mine now move along

-> lewishamilton i will never forget that you called me weird

-> yourusername omg i apologised??? and made u sandwiches??? and took roscoe for walks THREE CONSECUTIVE DAYS???

-> username they're FRIENDS

-> username no bc their conversations must be WILD and so RANDOM

-> username im eating up every second of this

username now i js need max and nando to be besties 🤞🤞🤞🤞 with y/n and my life will be complete

-> yourusername i don't want them they're annoying

-> fernandoalo_official this is why pierre chose the other girl

-> yourusername SO LOW

-> maxverstappen1 the reason i like you is because you were drinking pure vodka out of a sippy cup at 8 am without blinking

-> yourusername this is why charles doesn't follow u x

-> maxverstappen1 THAT'S A LOW FUCKING BLOW

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, danielricciardo and 2,156,976 others

pierregasly do something about it

15,729 comments

username SCREECHING WHAT THE FUCK

username i have never ever been this invested in someone else's life THIS BETTER BE WORTH IT

username oh he's BOLD bold

username i know my girlie is panicking rn she did not MEAN for this to happen

username mf say this to HER

username bitches wouldn't be in this situation if they js TALKED FFS

username no bc i KNEW that something was gonna happen when he posted that song on his story

-> username fr like "when i touch her i feel like im cheating on u" BABE????

username cheating on u by charlie puth is actually so y/n and pierre coded it's INSANE

-> username the way my jaw dropped

charles_leclerc i should confiscate your phone for this

-> pierregasly you were the one who held an intervention for me so that i would "get my shit together"

-> charles_leclerc you don't HAVE to get your shit together if it means that i wouldn't be seeing her everyday

-> pierregasly just say that you're scared of her and MOVE

-> username charles is so valid bc she scares ME

-> username u never know what she's gonna do next and that's the scariest part

username im BEGGING y'all pls get back together

username the sigh that left me when i heard that pierre and celine broke up like 😭

username i live in fear that y/n and pierre will get back together and we won't be getting any more angry petty bitchy songs

username motherfucker MAKE A MOVE

username i know the grid is conspiring to get them together like they're MY menacea

-> username yeah and their most effective method (according to them) is locking them in a room

-> username do u think they know that one of them will not be making it out of the room and it'll probably be pierre 🧍

username i am a child of divorce this is christmas of '07 all over again 😔

landonorris i did NOT see you post this and then throw your phone up at the sky and screech as if someone just turned your ribs inside down to make you feel like a fairy

-> pierregasly stay away from me

-> oscarpiastri oh my god that was you??? i thought one of the cars ran over a cat on the track 😭

-> pierregasly okay mctwinks let's get you back in your playpens

-> landonorris unprovoked ☹️

-> oscarpiastri i would say watch your back but you're in the BACK so ☺️

-> pierregasly I WILL RUN YOU OFF

-> pierregasly i'm sorry my team told me i can't say that

username my head is wrapping itself around all this information like a shawl im going INSANE

username i know pierre is on all fours trying to get y/n to take him back

-> username as he should be idgaf

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by pierregasly, landonorris, lilymhe and 2,628,826 others

yourusername yeah i really missed the way he kisses and the way he grabbed my ass so i did something about it

tagged pierregasly

18,628 comments

username IDK WHETHER TO BE MAD OR HAPPY BUT HELLO???

username im gonna scream bc wtf

username NO WARNING WHAT THE FUCK

username sigh ARE U SURE

username are we SURE it's gonna STICK this time

-> yourusername im 182729291% sure charles is gonna murder him if he acts a bit silly again so i'd say it's looking pretty good!!!!

-> charles_leclerc alex hates it when y/n is sad and they both make it MY problem so i'm sorry if i wanna make pasta in a peaceful and tranquil environment instead of bitching about my best mate

-> alexandrasaintmleux you were the one who came up with the most creative insults every time don't LIE like a LIAR

-> pierregasly charles???

-> charles_leclerc they're LYING they LIE they're LIARS

username why am i js figuring it out that y/n is AUGUSTINE like from august by taylor swift

-> username BABE 😭😭😭😭 HOW DID U NOT KNOW

username something about pierre going from her summer love to love love (we don't talk abt what happened in the middle ☺️)

username someone sedate me they're BACK

username i just KNOW charles is pulling at his hair rn bc i know my man has so much dirt on pierre but they reconciled a bit too quickly

-> charles_leclerc I DIDN'T GET TO TELL HER ABOUT THE DUCK INCIDENT

-> pierregasly ONE WORD AND I WILL ERASE YOU FROM THIS EARTH

-> yourusername charles ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️ don't be shy ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️ i always liked u the most out of ALL his friends ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️ please elaborate ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

-> yukitsunoda0511 death would've been kinder than this ☹️

-> yourusername STOPPP U KNOW UR MY FAVOURITE I HATE THAT CHARLES MF HE TRIPS ME EVERY TIME I SEE HIM

-> charles_leclerc for the last time, i REALLY did not see the puddle exactly in front of you and i'm really really really really really sorry that you fell in that puddle. and ruined your dress. and made me pay for it. and then pushed me into a fountain.

-> alexandrasaintmleux say away from my gf charles_leclerc 😡😡😡😡😡😡

-> username i have a migraine

username the lore slowly coming to the surface

-> username NAH BC UR TELLING ME THAT YUKI AND Y/N ARE BESTIES???? ALEX AND Y/N ARE LIKE ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️???? CHARLES AND Y/N HAVE BEEF???? HE PUSHED HER INTO A PUDDLE AND SHE PUSHED HIM INTO A FOUNTAIN????

-> username they kept us in the dark for so long we could've had it all 💔💔💔

username time to go on a vacation and make it a mission to hate the dude i meet and then fall in love with him

-> username HATE????

-> username pierre and y/n HATED each other when they first met but then long story short y/n saved him from a jellyfish and then it was lovers part of enemies to lovers ❤️

-> username oh the lore is WILD

username don't be a coward and record get him back with these lyrics 😡😡😡😡😡

-> yourusername i would but pierre would cry if i sang that song again now that he's back in my good books 😔💔

-> landonorris this is why you need to break up again x

-> pierregasly don't make me break check you next weekend

username is it a good time to mention that i saw u at lax and u looked WRECKED so im really glad ur both back together so that he can grab ur ass again

-> yourusername 😭😭😭😭 thank u my love

-> username tears

pierregasly thank you for doing something about it because i could NEVER

-> yourusername someone has to go to the counter and say "he asked for no pickles" in this relationship babe ❤️

-> charles_leclerc i have seen you both TREMBLING at the prospect of human interaction

-> yourusername why are u friends with him pierregasly

-> charles_leclerc not just him now 🥰

-> yourusername i am ready to break up with pierre if it means that i can get rid of this annoying parasite

-> charles_leclerc i go, alex goes

-> alexandrasaintmleux no you go away, i go to yourusername

-> yourusername DEVOURED AND BY HIS OWN GF

pierregasly all jokes (charles included) aside, i love you ❤️ thank you for hearing me out instead of pushing me down the stairs of instant death like charles told me you'd do

-> yourusername i love you 🫶🏼 i could never push u down the stairs, stair (singular) maybe but no ☺️

-> username why r u like this 🧍

username everyone cheer her crisis is GONE

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, maxverstappen1 and 2,578,826 others

pierregasly you were my summer love and now you'll be my forever love

tagged yourusername

17,629 comments

username STOP TEARS ARE LEAKING

username can't believe this is the guy u told y/n she was trippin (she was btw ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️)

-> username character development and threats from f1 drivers does wonders to ur personality

username can't believe we're not gonna get anymore petty and bitchy songs anymore 💔💔💔

-> username maybe the petty and bitchy songs were all the comments from this group we collected along the way

username y'all cannot convince me that charles didn't at least TRY to tell y/n to let pierre GO simply bc he's a little shit

-> yourusername can confirm, the reason it didn't work was because then i'd have to AGREE with 🤮 charles 🤮

-> charles_leclerc you act as if i'm not actively gagging while talking to you

-> pierregasly so good to know that the reason i have a LOVING girlfriend is that she just hates my best friend

username pierre will forever be catching strays as long as y/n and charles remain friends 💔

username everyday i wake up and thank the lord that i exist in a world where pierre and y/n are together and that a dying jellyfish was the cause of it all ❤️❤️❤️

username real talk!!!!! how did mama gasly react when y/n told her that her son sucks

-> yourusername i didn't have to, she called me and told me that herself

-> username iconic

-> pierregasly i'm leaving the country and shaving my hair

username "forever love" i will be on the highway don't test me

username god i have seen and noted what u did for the others

username i love it when men are unapologetically in love with their gfs

lewishamilton happy for you both. please tell y/n to return my dog.

-> pierregasly she's currently cuddling roscoe and asking me to tell you to fuck right off

-> lewishamilton godmother privileges PROVOKED

username i will never be able to wrap my head around the fact that lewis hamilton and y/n y/l/n are FRIENDS like how'd THAT happen

-> username do u think they exchange fashion tips and pointers

-> username they deffo talk shit abt charles' fashion choices

-> username they should add him in the gc and TALK to him bc those choices are HORRENDOUS

username y/n 🎤🎤🎤 did u really key his car 🎤🎤🎤

-> yourusername my lawyer advises me to deny this false allegation

-> pierregasly she did something worse.

-> yourusername OKAAYYYYYYY U R NOT ALLOWED TO TALK HERE

-> pierregasly she put glitter ALL over the interiors

-> username WOAHAHSHSKSKSKD

-> username u deserved it 🗣️‼️

username i need a step by step walkthrough of exactly HOW these two got together and i need it NOW

username so when y/n hates publicly on a dude, she manages to make him her bf but when i do it, i make him my mortal enemy??? make it make sense 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

username it is so sexy of me to continue life even when life (instagram) throws obstacles (y/n and pierre being cute and shit) at me

username i will lay in my grave and dream of a love like theirs

-> username aahh haha didn't mean to get so philosophical mb

-> yourusername that was crazy babe

-> username it's true 😔💔

username me patiently waiting for a summer love that will have me ripping my hair off my scalp 🧍

username YOU WERE MYYYYY SUMMER LOOOVEEEEEEE

-> username one direction 🔛🔝

yourusername 4ever is not so bad after all ❤️

-> pierregasly with you it won't ever be enough ❤️

-> yourusername stop making me cry i have a reputation on here 🙁🙁🙁

-> username she says as if her personality isn't js crying over things all day long and being a Hater

-> yourusername OH FUCK OFF

yourusername i love you 🪤

-> pierregasly je t'aime mon cœur but the emoji? (i love you my heart)

-> yourusername it was the closest thing i could find to a tripod

-> landonorris 🔭 this is right here and also GROSS

-> username why are u all like this

yourusername off topic but i accidentally set off the fire alarm and now im locked in the bathroom bc the lock broke and im kinda Panicking

-> pierregasly why are you a fire hazard

-> yourusername THAT'S WHAT UR CONCERNED ABOUT

username i love it when bitches are chaotic like yessss!!!!!!! go and show us that unhinged energy!!!!!!!

[de4dlyniightshade]

heyy :) erm im gonna fangirl really quick and then the request will be at the end incase you wanna skip to that part or anything, lol. okay so this is very much unnecessary and unasked for and blah blah but i don't care! i believe writers need to hear how much we appreciate them and their works because whew mama! ive been trying to write fics for like months and it actually is so horrible. i genuinely start to angrily vibrate bc my thoughts don't flow on the notes app. but i just wanted to say, nightshade, (ehehe that's so cheeky and silly for some reason) that i reallyyy love your work. its actually like horrific how much your writing just makes me so 😜😊🤭 i know you're not like a celebrity or anything, so it's gonna be weird with this like mini parasocial relationship thing, but please know your work has an impact !! a few months ago, i did something extremely bad and out of character while i was spiraling, and i decided that the best decision for me would be to quit using social media. (and beforehand i had quit using tiktok for like 7 months already and i wasn't that addicted to my phone but i still was consuming negative media) so, ofc, i stopped completely for a good month or so and only ever using youtube every now and then. buttttt, one of the first social media platforms i came back to first... was tumblr! it's actually so silly too because i only used tumblr like 4 times beforehand so i was quite new. but anyway anyway (im a yapper UGH) i really found that your posts had made me feel happy :) idk they kinda reminded me of myself before i went big bad that one time and it made me inspired to go back to how i used to be... u get me?? you're writing literally haunts my brain oh my lord it should be illegal to read your stuff because afterwards i literally have this crazy ass urge to read more and more and more. im lowkey an addict cause i be having my deadlynightshade withdrawals. the way you write is just so 😫 gosh, it's beautiful. i also love ur sillyness because like ME TOO. your random little posts are so me coded and i love it. YOU'RE SO FUNNY 😭 uhmm i just wanted to say thanks for being super cool and talented because believe it or not, the stuff you put out makes me really happy! (that was so melodramatic like mf they write about spencer being a pathetic pussy drunk bitch why are you saying it changed ur life?? its true tho.) erm yeah that's the end of that part i just again wanted to thank you 🙏 i wish we were friends SO BAD like you're actually awesome what the fuck.... but like how do u even become friends w ppl?? LMAO ERM ANYWAY 😍 can you write a blurb or h.c or something (honestly anything will make me happy) about valentine's day?? 🤭 basically spencer being SO FUCKING SHY because you can't stop touching his hands or hair subtly or like kissing his cheek leaving marks from lipstick or like getting him his favorite snacks/drinks/books/textures/ basically a gift that made u think about him?? ugh or him doing the same with you like him being the best fucking nerd boy ever and spoiling you so much like he goes ape shit spending well over his funds limit but it's worth it because it's you? or like sweet soft cutie pie sex? at the end of the day and he's like... Erm.. Pussy for 1 please! you were so pretty today... You always are-! (I'm mentally ill and writing this at 8:37 pm on a thursday night.)

this is. the sweetest shit anyone has ever said to me i actually cried ngl to you.

i'm genuinely so thankful for the little community i have created here i never expected such an insane amount of positivity and love from people just for the whack ass shit i write but that's probably just my perpetual self hatred and disbelief that people enjoy anything about me🤞

i think it's crazy how people on the internet who have never met me, don't know me, what i look like, or anything can treat me better than any of my friends have and i'll always be thankful for that.

ALSO! i love being called funny pls kiss me i never think i'm actually funny istg

i was also planning on writing a valentines fic ALREADY but this made me wanna write it even more as a thank you for this message it genuinely made my week(can't promise it ON TIME for valentines but i can try!)

i'm also so glad that my work and blog makes you happy, there's no privilege greater than making someone smile even when they don't feel like it</3

[aria-ashryver]

🌟...aaaaand it's over, no more chemo!🌟

(at least I very much hope so 🤞)

And Caesar, well...

How are you feeling, Aria? When are you getting new scans? Should the side effects go away soon? If they schedule a surgery, when will it happen?

(Also, this is how I picture you getting ready to hear the results of said scans)

♥️🎉🫂🥂

HELLO sweet lovely!!

Thoughts under the cut bc I'm getting a little bleak and edgy for a sec here lmao, but out here, lemme just say:

FUCK YEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHH I DID THAT!!!! 🙌✨🎉💪

I meet with my oncologist next week, so I won't know much more until then (he'll hopefully be telling me I can make an appointment with the surgery team to talk surgery plans!!), but whatever the news is, bring it on. I've got this.

y'know, these last 3 months have really felt like...

but you know what? I'm still here. Still standing. Still got my foot on Caesar's throat.

These past couple days I've been... ugh. I want to keep matching the celebratory energy, I really do. But I am standing on a bloodied battlefield, gasping for air, my darling.

Shortly before noon, May 30th, 2023, I was told my cancer was metastatic.

Advanced.

Secondary.

Stage 4.

Incurable.

I've been carrying that knowledge for a few months now. About 114,000 minutes, actually. And I've been cutting down the intrusive thoughts that whole time. The terror. The doubt. The sheer, stark loneliness that is existing in a body with something insidious that's trying to kill you. I cannot tell you how truly claustrophobic cancer is.

I've won this battle, yes. I made it through my chemotherapy. But I'm going to be sword in hand for the rest of my life. I don't get to rest. And you know what? That's okay. In a lot of ways, I've been fighting for years.

The irony isn't lost on me that I fought tooth and nail to claw my way through depression and suicidal ideation, and now that I finally, wholeheartedly want to live, I get handed a death sentence. One I can beat back, yes (see: bloodied battlefield, foot on Caesar's throat, et cetera), but one that I'll have to continue fighting forever.

I'll be honest, I have more flavours of trauma than a goddamn ice cream parlour, I was wholeheartedly fucked up even before the cancer diagnosis lmao. But NOTHING has broken me yet.

The world has been trying to kill me for decades and I haven't let it.

Caesar is just one more enemy to laugh at.

This battlefield may be bloodied and barren, but it is mine.

I may be standing on a field of broken bones and corpses, but I am standing.

So, here's to the next fight. I'm ready 🖤

also, just as a random parting thought, I was having a massive cry yesterday (again 114,000 minutes!! of being forced to confront my own mortality, and this was only Breakdown #5 (yes, I'm counting), so like... I think I'm doing real good haha). Anyway, I stumbled on a YT short that was so bleakly hilarious to me in the context of having cancer that I laughed so hard it snapped me right the fuck out of it and i stopped being sad and resumed being awesome

the tl;dr is hell yeah chemo is over (hopefully), and I am literally unkillable and feeling very cool and rad about it 💅

also now I want a sword.

oh my god i totally need to buy myself a sword when they declare my body cancer free don't i?

...oh my god im gonna do it

kitty you genius

[starjxsung]

HI BABY OH MY GDKJSHFKHSDFIUHKJSDHFKSHFHSDKFH YOURE BACK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ive been checking on your main blog every single day since uve been on hiatus just waiting for the day you come back and somehow i think the past few days i just completely forgot you had a side blog and idk how i missed your comeback the past few days but ig i did... :((

I HOPE YOURE DOING ALRIGHT!!!! summer has been pretty okay w me so far, mostly just hangouts with friends and staying inside to avoid the sun and any uv rays possible like the fucking vampire i am, etc.

im going to kcon la next month!! unfortunately skz isnt part of lineup and i wont be able to go friday so ill only be able to see the saturday+sunday conventions and concerts, but i hope itll be fun nonetheless. my uncle is some kind of manager in the entertainment industry (idk too much abt it but he usually gets me signed albums every year so im not complaining!) and he usually helps out at kcon every year, so he always has at least 2-3 free tickets.. whenever he visits so im usually able to head to kcon if my schedule fits!! 

i think for other life updates on my part theres not tm.. i ended up going on a diet the past month because ive been really wanting to lose weight for a while now but ive never been able to do it in a healthy way because ive had an ed for as long as i could remember.. (growing up with asian beauty standards is pretty tough unfortunately 😞) i used to be 130lbs at 5’1” so i always considered myself overweight because of my height, but i recently lost 10lbs and im hoping i can reach my goal of 110 within the next month asw 🤞

aside from my life update rant though, ive srsly missed you so much star you dont even know !!! im so happy youre back 🥺🥺🥺

as always, ur biggest fan

~ 《 ☘️ 》

BABY BABY BABY BABYYYYYDHDKDKDKKFOVKFKEMRKFKF I MISSED YOUUUUUUUUU my little clover angel I LOVE YOU SOOOOO BAD I AM ACTUALLY YOUR NUMBER ONE FANNNNNNN 💔💔💔💔💔

I’ll be back on main blog™️ soon !!!! I miss it there too tbh RAHHHH side blog is good too but main blog is where everything started and I miss posting so bad 💔 I also somehow check tumblr less ever since the creation of side blog so I have to physically remind myself to check tumblr and I just. miss when I had more time to post and people wouldn’t get annoyed of me answering asks on main ☹️ BUT FEEL FREEEE TO SPAM SIDE BLOG™️ TOOOOOO she exists for all ur spam/vent/miscellaneous needs and I love checking on you guys even when I’m not on main. I love you !!!!

I’m so glad summer has been treating you so well ALSO KCON??? HELLO??????? I AM SOOOO FUCKING JEALOUS OH MY HODDKDKDMDMDKD I wanted to see Taemin & nmixx SOOOOO FUCKING BAD MY BABIESSSSSSS 🤲😭 TAKE SOOOO MANY PICS FOR ME I CANT WAIT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT IT RAHHH IT’S GONNA BE SOOOO FUCKING SICK I CANT WAIT I love this for u. Kcon era. Yes.

Also don’t be so hard on yourself my angelllll just make sure you’re staying healthy :( I love you :( and I fully acknowledge that beauty standards are fucking impossible to live by and they can genuinely be so taxing to try to fit. But as long as you’re healthy and happy and doing what you want for yourself only, that’s what matters :’) I’m always a message away if you need me (even though I’m fucking garbage at responding) and I love you no matter what. Take care of yourself precious cargo 🤲💓

I LOVE YOU and I missed you and I promise I will be back on main blog™️ as soon as I physically can be. I am ur biggest fan actually if you were a clover I would pick you and keep you in a little resin necklace and wear you all the time. I love you !!!!!!!!.!.!.!!.!/!:!!,?,!.!.!

[wonwoonlight]

CONGRATS FOR GETTING THE TICKETTT 😆 wishing you get to buy cancelled tickets with your desired seat🤞

about me and this one boy... he was my classmate— at first we dont talk that much to each other. just asking about study in the class. in the first week, i think he's kinda attractive. i almost got a crush on him actually but decided not to when my friend said he's in a relationship with someone from his school.

theres this one subject that we need to sit in a group that the lecturer assigned during the subject. a few months later, my lecturer reshuffled the group. im in the same group as him. there's other people in the group too but there's only 4 people in the group so we frequently talk to each other. during this time, i developed a little bit crush on him because we talk a lot. actually this is the first time i got a crush on a boy which im just ok look at him from a far??? which i dont want to confess my feelings to him at all. like i just want to crush on him in silent because that feeling its not that strong.

during the final week, we frequently checking on each other through message like asking which chapters to focus on etc & getting some answers for the past papers. sometimes we tell stories about each other but its not that much. mostly its about how to answer the past year papers.

and finally we finished our papers 🥳

after that, we messaged each other and asked how we feeling about the paper & talk a little bit about what our plan during the sem break.

tbh i thought we will not get in touch in each other anymore after we finished all the papers because there's no more reason to keep in touch (and im not that type of girl that has boy in my circle because im bad at keeping in touch with boys) and for the upcoming sem, we're not gonna be classmate anymore ☹️

the next day, (which is the first day of the sem break) he messaged me first. he's going somewhere with his family. that was the moment i was like "is he really want to become friend with me?" because its not about school related 😲 i replied his message and then we talk like normal friends would talk about. we still keep in touch with each other until now

and this was the moment my feelings on him got deeper i guess because he's kinda fit my standard for a boyfriend... tbh im confused like is this a crush or not 🤔 because actually i quite easy to catch feelings 🙄 i easily catch feelings because i don't have boys in my circle 🫤 but don't worry im planning not to confess to him about my feelings because he's got a girlfriend 💁🏻‍♀️ and our friendship is too precious for me to end so quickly 😔

what i know is he's pretty serious with his girlfriend because he's already planned about his future. im impressed with him because he's pretty matured for my age.

why i think i might crushing on him? i think its because our personality matched with each other. when i talk to him, im feeling comfortable and there's no awkward moments at all. he's kinda matured for my age. his humour match with me too. he also open minded. for example, i can talk to him about kpop even though he's not into it 😂 you can say he's kinda a casual listener for svt i guess?? its kinda sad for me because he's already got a girlfriend but its okay im alright just being friends with him. he's good at comfort me too 😭 and for me this kinda scream green flag for me tbh...

i know he's comfortable with being friends with me because he doesn't have many close friends with girls. he's also the first one that message me during the sem break so for me its a sign that he consider me as his friend. i hope he don't know about my feelings because im afraid he don't want to become my friend anymore if he know about it 😢

i think i really need to raise my standards for boyfriend i guess 🤔 what do you think? do you have any suggestions/opinion 🎤

im just hoping that this feeling will go away quickly because im afraid that it will become more worst 😭 i might need to gaslight myself that he's just a really good friend for me but not in a boyfriend way??? ugh idk why is it so complicateddd

im in unrequited love era i guess 😂

how's your vacation btw? i hope you enjoyed it 😆

-🎀anon

i'll answer under the cut!!

first of all THANK YOUUU i'm truly hoping i'll get ticket too bc i want to watch both days 😭😭

FIRST OF ALLL reading your story kinda reminds me of this work of mine called shiny star starred by wonwoo which... was actually a work that i wrote partly from my own experience loool

i totally get you about the whole crushing thing, and i feel like it's good that you know not to push it when he has a girlfriend and you somewhat appreciate the friendship he offers you. it's normal to have a crush on someone you spent a lot of time together with (or maybe someone you only saw in fleeting), so i hope you're not blaming yourself for that!!

i can't really tell you what to do. but in my case, i kept my distance and, well, enjoyed the friendship. the more i got used to him, the easier it was to remind myself that he's nothing but a friend. but if you don't think you'll be able to do that and instead think your feelings might get in the way, it's totally okay to step back and put some distance. bc as much as you appreciate the friendship, i'll rather you prioritize yourself.

you don't need to avoid him or anything, just put appropriate distance until you think you're good :) make sure not to get strung around, okay!

my vacation was great!! it was a little too short and it was sooo busy bc i had so much to do lol but it was fun nevertheless so i'm good. did your class start already?? i hope your new class would be fun!!