#im gonna miss everyone. not the city itself but the people in it. man

[butchdykeorpheus]

.

[sugusoneandonly]

Quixotic - STSG - ch 2

prev // next

a/n 1: ik i said fem reader but like there’s gender neutral pronouns, however the reader does have feminine presentations maybe? Like dresses, makeup, etc. 😭 idk how ts rlly works guys dont cancel me im a rainbow person too😞

cw cont: jealous sugu ,, questioning sugu ,, oblivious reader ,, thats all i got lmk if i missed smth

!! do not repost/copy on any other platform !! if u do at least lmk where and give creds 😒 /j !! pls don’t tho <3

After your brief introduction with Geto, you were now sitting on a leather couch that overlooked the bright city of Tokyo. Gojo had stepped out to go handle whatever modeling business he had to attend to, leaving you with Geto. It’s been silent since then, even more than before the chatterbox out of all 3 of you had left.

You couldn’t help but admire the man before you, no doubt in the fact that he could’ve become a model himself if he wanted to. As if he could feel your gaze, he turned around to lock his deep lilac eyes with your own. You blinked. He smiled, softly but surely. Anything he would say, you would do. Whether out of fear, admiration, or something else, you didn’t know.

His studio was clean (cleaner than yours at least) yet had the essence of life and his own soul strewn over it. Silken fabrics adorned the windows and deep fabrics were strewn across the island in his office, his desk with a stack of papers and an open portfolio. With curiosity your gaze shifted to it, focusing in on it to try and see what was on them, his latest line maybe?

Yet before you could catch the slightest hint, his pale hands had flipped the open file closed. “I apologize for my lack of introduction, i’m Suguru Geto, you probably already know though.” You had to get a grip on yourself, he’s your…mentor and you can’t swoon around for your own mentor. “I’m Y/N L/N, I really love your work.” you quickly managed to get out.

A moment of pause, and he let out chuckle that was deep yet as light as a summer’s night breeze. “I’m quite familiar, I see your name in my notifications quite frequently.” And with that, summer’s scorching sun had graced itself into your cheeks, and if you couldn’t blush before you might as well have now. Your appreciation for his work posted online hadn’t gone unnoticed apparently. What’s worse, he knew your social media already and you can’t remember whether you left it private or public.

“..I’m sorry again for my harsh behavior it’s not everyday you meet your lovers ex and take them in-” He began but you quickly cut him short, hands frantically waving in front of you frown etched with wide eyes and scrunched eyebrows. “I have no feelings for him anymore and even if I did there’s no way I’d express them, especially considering everyones… positions. I didn’t even know I-” realizing your rambling, you finally looked him in the eye, a tight lipped smile pulled on his face. “Then there’s no point wasting time on informalities, is there then?” , not trusting your mouth you simply nodded.

“We have a tight schedule today, we begin with picking the next project.” we. i get to help my idol make his next project. a project that people are gonna wear. and people that actually know who made it instead of my occasional etsy shoppers.

When you returned to reality, you saw a collection of various designs laid before you on the coffee table. The seasons were shifting from summer to fall. Although it was early September, the industry never waited, not even on the leaves to fall. Your mouth fell to a small o , Suguru swore if you had gazed at him with the stars in your eyes, they might’ve been warm enough to make him melt.

wait, what, that’s not how it goes - sugu

You skim through each and every sketch, feeling as if you’ve discovered a new chest of gems, one that nobody knew of. You stopped when you fell across a particular sketch, not really a sketch but a photocopy. The style felt familiar, and upon closer examination, it’s my drawing

You look up at Geto, “I was thinking, there’d be no point in interning if you couldn’t exercise your own work. So, if it’s alright with you I was thinking to incorporate some of your ideas into the next line.”

A grin spread across your face, “Yes, Of Course! I’d love that so mu-” you were cut off with the door opening, and Geto quickly shut the folder with the sketches out of sight. You turned around to see the door, none other than Gojo standing there, playful pout gracing his face. “He’s not allowed to see the works in progress,” Geto explained. You tilted your head, no words, and like second nature Gojo responded “He wants to be mysterious and keep it a surprise like the bum he is.” Gojo had scrunched his nose at Geto, plopping himself down next to him, arm resting on the couch behind Geto’s back.

A twinge of jealousy pinched at Geto, seeing what’s probably surface level remnants of your past relationship come back to life like clockwork. He brushed it off, you had no feelings, Gojo has none, what could go wrong.

he forgot about himself

Yet, you had no feelings. None. You looked at the couple in front of you and exhaled with relief. you did it, you were over him, and you can carry on

It was dead silence now, how unfortunate. Why won’t your mouth work, say something. Thankfully, Geto and Gojo had been fussing over whatever rich people business Gojo had brought with him. Albeit, quite hushed. Praying your stomach wouldn’t go back to its old ways, you had jinxed yourself. A quite prominent growl had presented itself to the room. Geto glanced up at the clock, Gojo smiled. It was pushing 1 in the afternoon, unfortunately you couldn’t brush it off as only one person was sitting in the direction of the sound, and that person was you. Gojo had slightly toed Geto under the table.

“Next item on the schedule would probably better off as lunch, hm?” Geto offered, a teasing, forced?, smile on his face.

“Really?” You glanced down at the paper, lunch wasn’t for another hour? Quickly the paper was lightly tugged from your hold, two different hands yet adorned by similar rings. The two glanced at each other. “A designers life never sits set in stone, little one.” Gojo said in a sing-song.

“Ohh” you had bought it. They take this very seriously, perhaps it’s best not to mess around too much like this - Suguru

Quickly, the two men had already began to make their way out the door and to the elevator down to the city. You made your way to keep up with them, to wherever they were taking you.

©sugusoneandonly 2024

a/n 2 :: BONJOUR 🥖

This is very slow burn i think. Guys im being so fr idk what im doing im just throwing up my thoughts. Idk how to write enemies to lovers so i give u crisis sugu <33

[rawrmeansilyindinosawr]

nauseous Bl0WF1sh

i hav bronchitis again n moi fwend chris says it cuz ima “chronic smoker.” Whatever dat meanzz !!!!?

uMmmmummmmUmmm Ummmmm.!! moi ribzzz hurt from coughin N i had a Wasian hot doc prescribe meH a genZ pack for the nxt 6 days .! i Think she was in luv wif meh cuz she was lik ….”Soo ur feeling sick????🥺🥺🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺” n She wrote me 2 doc notes n encouraged meh to R3st … <3 heart eyes.!!! Im sniffly n BORED.!!!! N my breath smells like arabic coffee. =] i wanna learN how2 Read tha groundzz so i Kan c my future n how my wife gonna lOok Like. I dink she will hav freckles . ?

my new Profesor baggie is my old Hello kitty Crossbady bag i used in lik 3rd grade n i Loveee my mommy for saving it for me.!! Idk how it didn’t wear n Tear or iDk how i Didnf break it already at dis point cuz my Mummy calls me “a power puff girl”.!!! (aka i Alwayz broke everYth1nG growing up… the fridge, bathroom sInk, etc.)

iPhone journal entry 03/01/2023

5:39am on the L train bak home holding a tray of rly bad pasta i ated half of but left tha rest on the train Cuz i forgot n was mad .!!!!!

“the man sitting next to me on the subway smells like microwaved bean and cheese burritos and everyone that commutes at this time wears black and grey and navy. shades of it at least.

i hate when people stare at me. but they do. and i feel like i look mean for a reason. maybe discreetly i want people to be afraid of me. or to make their assumptions. i want to be judged and complain about it. to feel alienated all over again over and over and over again.

why do people wear their wedding rings so freely in this city? or do we really just care far too much about our presentation, myself included.

why am i always counted as second best. or why do i feel as it from the people who make me feel first and last at the same time.”

:-[ SIMP!!!!11111 >_<

my students keep asking me if i identify as an “emo” and a “e-girl” .! N asking if i am a bOy or A gUrl. lolz.!! my Ex situationship is now back to being my current situationship aagain cuzz um he may or may not hav written mEh a poem about fisting me on Queer craigslist which i frequently check N it was romantic . soo We had a closure convo at this Coffee shoppe n i brought a puppy who was tryna fight sum kid there n it wuz awkward n sad n Wonderwall by oasis was playing so obvz it ended in seggs.

i May or mAy not have Snuck into a homeless shelter to hav Sex the other nite cuz i felt Like it . Wrote a poem ab it !.!!

“

twin size mattress

spiky shy seductive fingers

sugar dissolves with heat

and turns golden brown.

caramel kisses on my mouth

u blew weed smoke into

sorry i freaked out.

but we play the system well

i throw ur jacket down three flights and three floors

u say when

and i’ll go

we don’t need a car to go somewhere only we know “

YEAZZZZZZZ SOOOOOOOOOO i had alottaaa weirdOo dreamzz sleeping dere.!!! dreamt of gettin strapped DOWN on a fire scape then also of a blowfish tht kept frowing up itself over n over again til it died then ppl ated it.! Then had a dream i wrote a poem w all my students in spanish n i was teaching a poetry class ssomrwhere Not in America lolz.!! iimm missing the rly Kute bedazzledd “0Bama” beanie i saw at domsey N didn’t buy . it’s been aB 2 months since i saw it dere . Anyway.! security at work was using bathroom n the toilet seat Rn slammed down on his Dick while he was peeing and he just screamed “DAMN WHAT da FUQ WHAT DA FUQ .!!!” :-]

i luv walkin around chinatown w my friendzz n gettin milky T n finding Hello-kitty jumperzz n pjs at F21 >.< n twinkz fashion show at Dallas Bbq wuz kute n i still get kinda shy ab ppl takin moi pix.!Then we danced to music w moi speaker outside afterwards n Then went w group of pplz we just met to a seggs shoppe. Then we tried to find an el bano 4 meh to pee in n may hav accidentally said” fukk” in front of 2 many babies. Then went 2 somewherenowhere n got Vip-ed cuz we r Kewl n hot n do k off each otherzz nailz lik paris hilton n Nicole Richie n cuz starz r BLINDzz.!! theN may or Not hav been on E from 1pm-6am n lost the Spikezz to our bracelets N our gauges in our ears .!!!i luv Kuddling w moi fwendzz post club tho n napping then goin out again.!! N finally bein able to climb up 2 the top of the skate ramp 2 sit dere n why do ppl smoke crack at substance abuse sk8 Park .? mayB cuz it’s called substance abuse :-p ??? hehe duh!!

soooo I ordered dinn from “Miss dongs burgers” cuz trans girlsss hav the sexiest cocks<33 n ordered soft shell crab burger N omfg her crabzz were yummy.!! LOLZZZ im thinkin of the cuRse of curves lyrics while singing another song “ ur beautiful ‘ by james blunt with strangers at a sexy bodega off broadway n also Crying cuz i lost my second pair of reading glasses again and also buying a kids babyPhat shirt even tho it’s a 5-6 size shirt cuz i like the print n Now family dollar sells baby phat beanieZ. ??? i luv living in the wick!!<3

all three of us gave ourselves black eyes on the same eyeball .?!?! within a week apart.?!?! brujajajajajajajaja :-0 i yam Defeating anorexia day by day n it is so hard but i kant keep holding on2 it. N i wanna b able to eat at wei’s n cafe mogador w moi fwendzz n even doe my Ex who used to yell at meh at dunkin’ donuts got herpes from the falafel there i still enjoy eating at dat place .! i realized many thingzz keep me up at nite more than adderal n insomnia. Like pornstar nikki hearts n the old Lex logo. Blu lex logo wuzz shmexy. wrote another iphone note 4 dayzz ago ab how much i need time alone rn cuz i feel v overly stimulated n lik everything is jus2much , n how do we rly even communicate w one another when we don’t get anywhere w our actions.??

“talk talk talk

all we do is talk ,

but talking isn’t always communicating

and listening doesn’t always fix everything

days go by and u feel nostalgic for the nites u didn’t spend admiring the moon . n i lost my heart to get yours to get close to yours. never thought itd hurt this bad. and i’ll never try to dominate the conversation but im sorry if my voice escalates.”

moi wk wuz Kute those were my highlights .!! also helping w a styling pull for bobbi brown ^_^!!!.!!.!!!.!!! kinda excited to meet moi new they she therapist tmrw mornin n get Fixed (not bottom surgery but U kno, with electroconvulsion.)) i also defzz went on a reddit khole n joined lik 4 diff fourms which i kannot disclose cuz uh uh uh uh uHhHhhH yea 2 vulnerable but i changed my username to charlixcx1997 N now i kinda wanna change my name from ren to charli cuz it’s also unisex/andro AF n cute butt ANYWEYZZ yah wuld luv to continue to stay N chat n type n Talk but Yes i am busy brainstorming lesbian spring date ideazz like goin to Dock aznn eatery n eating oysterzz then picking flowers at maria Hernandezz then going 2 moi room wHile we turn the disco lights …. hide under blankies n analyze the lyrics to fast car by tracy chapman n then ask each other our fav pasta shapes then nail our hands together .!!!!<3<3 <3 <3 <3

Xxxxxx with xxxtra xxx,

ren<3

[blueunoia]

❤ ──── ·․ under watchful eyes (pt. 2)

━━━   SYNOPSIS: the reader and arvin find themselves back together and share a moment of joy with the intent of keeping what happened between their families and reverend teagardin but it’s hard to keep secrets in a small town where secrets don’t stay buried for long. 

━━━  WARNINGS: teenage proposal, harassments/bullying, and (minimal) description of violence. 

━━━  NOTES: Movie spoilers towards end of story. As mentioned in the warning Arvin proposes to the reader despite them only being 18, I decided to do this because it was very common for teens to get married in the 60s, especially in a situation like this (very religious family or town and interest in sex) so I thought it would add some fluff and drama while being time accurate. Like I said in the last part, I don’t condone any of Arvin's action he clearly has severe anger issues at least and mentally ill as a result of his traumatic childhood at worst. Hope you enjoy!

━━━  WORD COUNT: 2,379

━━━  PART(S): part three

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       The car ride home was the same as the ride to church: wordless. Arvin's hands clutched the steering wheel, and he stared with a stern gaze at the road ahead. Lenora wanted to say something, but she knew better not to. When Arvin was in a mood like this, it was almost always useless to calm him down. Unless it was you, somehow you always knew what to say. That or Arvin was so whipped that he just listened to you (and he didn't listen to anyone).

         When they finally arrived home, Arvin rushed inside, avoiding his Grams. Getting out of his church clothes, he thought about how likely it would be to get to the phone in the kitchen without his Grandma seeing. Then he thought about how likely it was that you'd even pick up or that your momma would let you talk to him. 

         Not likely, he surmised. So with a glance downstairs, he tried to bolt to his car so he could wait for Lenora in peace. She never took too long to get ready. Just pick out her dress and then brush her hair. Lenora didn't wear makeup; she never believed women should paint their faces like that. Arvin hadn't seen his grandmother, so he thought he'd be okay, but after almost reaching the door, he heard her call out. 

      "Now, Arvin, I know you aren't trying to sneak out with talking to me," she said. She was sat at the kitchen table with a disapproving look on her face. Pointing towards Arvin, she curved her fingers to herself, telling him to come to her. With a sigh, he followed, sitting down at the table. 

     "Yes?" he asked, annoyed. 

      "I know you're upset, but your gonna have to apologize to that priest-"

       "I ain't apologizing to that creep!" 

      Grams shook her head at his stubbornness, so much like his father, "You will. He is a man of God, and you tried to fight him! Do you know how many looks I'm gonna get when I go out into town? You can't be behaving like that. I won't allow it. I'm not gonna let you run wild like those city kids," she finished before standing up. Pointing the finger at Arvin, she held a stern look, "Don't you fight with me, boy."

       Arvin sighed, defeated; he didn't want his grandmother to be looked at poorly. He gave her a short nod before standing up himself, "I gotta go to school," he mumbled. Grandma nods but grabs him before he leaves, gripping the sides of his shirt and tucking them in for him. Arvin let out a little laugh at it. He swore she got more persnickety every year she grew older. 

         After that, she finally let Lenora and him leave for school. As they drove, Lenora smiled as she noticed Arvin's mood seemed to be better now. However, her smile faltered as Lenora saw Mrs. L/N car pass theirs. Arvin immediately took his eyes off the road to try and see Y/N. But she wasn't there. Lenora could see the change in Arvin's deposition as soon as he realized it; eyes back on the road, he gritted out, "Did you see her?"

       Lenora shook her head softly. "Maybe she was laying down?" she offered.

       Arvin's jaw tightened. "Her momma probably left her with that preacher," he growled. "I don't trust him."

        Lenora looks toward Arvin. "Why not? Pastor Teagardin seems nice."

        "Nice? He's a creep! I've seen how he's been looking at the girls. It ain't normal, Lenora," Arvin rants. "I don't want her left alone with him." 

         As they pulled into the school parking lot, Lenora grabbed her bag and opened the door, waiting to hear Arvin's door shut too. When the click never hit her ears, she turned around, seeing Arvin still in the car. Lenora frowns, "Aren't you coming in, Arvin?"

      He shook his head, "I got something to do."

      "You aren't going back to fight that preacher, are you?" Lenora huffs, "You can't-"

     "I'm not gonna fight 'im, Lenora. I just got something to do, okay?" Arvin asks, starting the car. His eyes had a pleading look. "Just don't tell Grams, alright? I'll be back to pick you up when schools out."

         Lenora sighs with defeat, "Alright. I won't tell Grams."

          He wasn't lying. Arvin did have something to do, and it didn't have to do with his bad feeling about that preacher. Arvin drove back to the lake that Reverend Teagardin had caught the two at for a specific reason. He lost an important thing there, an important box that held an essential ring for him. Arvin didn't intend to propose so soon. He wanted to wait 'til the summer came, and the two of you might've left town. With everything that happened, though, he could only imagine one way, your mother and father would let the two of you keep seeing each other. They were also stricter than his grandma, not too severe, but they followed his words when it came to God. 

         So Arvin was going to make an honest woman out of you. The only problem being he had the box in his car from when he bought it, and now Arvin couldn't find it, he remembered how he hastily hid it when you two went on your date, and all he could imagine is it fell out. So he drove back to the dreaded lake pulling in and checking for the Reverend. 

         Once he made sure the coast was clear, he got out of the car. Looking around the ground, Arvin didn't notice you when you stepped out from behind the tree you had hidden behind. You let out a breath when you realized it was Arvin, a smile etching itself on your face. Watching him closely, you saw him looking at the ground and bending down. What was he looking for?

       "Arvin?" you called out. 

Arvin stood up immediately, and his head spun around until he saw you. He couldn't stop himself from smiling and coming towards you, and then he realized what he was holding and hastily threw it in the dashboard. You ran to him and threw your arms around him. Arvin reciprocating faster than he ever had, squeezing you gently. "Are you alright?" he breathed out. 

"Yes," you said immediately, "I am now, at least." You pulled away from Arvin, putting a hand on his cheek. "I missed you," you said quietly. Arvin was never too good with words, so he nods before bringing his lips to yours. The kiss was soft, both of you deepening it quickly and your tongues caressing each other. When Arvin pulled away, he couldn't help but chuckle at the dreamy look on your face. 

         You bit your lip, "What if someone sees us again?"

         Arvin hadn't thought about that, but now you said that all he could think about is what would happen if Teagardin saw you two again. Undoubtedly, your parents would never let you see him. Grabbing your hand, he dragged you back into his car, and the two of you set off on a drive until you found somewhere else to stay. It was just a simple park, out of town where no one would see. You and Arvin held hands when you walked in, the two of you talking about your nights. You turn to him, "Do you like my new skirt?" it was off-topic, but you were smiling now genuinely smiling, so he didn't mind. 

        Arvin smiles back at you. "You look prettier than Kelly and Hepburn," he compliments. You smile shyly, and your cheeks flush with color. Arvin retakes your hand, bringing you to the nearby park bench. 

         "I wanted to ask you something," Arvin says, fidgeting with his hands. "With everything that happened... I know that your 'momma isn't going to let you see me anymore. Probably not for a while at least, and I don't want that. I know I don't say it often, but I love you. I love you a lot, Y/N, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life," he felt the bubble of nervous go from his stomach and rise into his chest. He couldn't help but second guess. You were both so young, but then again, most people got married around your age, maybe a little older right? He let out a breath and calmed himself, grabbing the ring from his jacket pocket. "I want you to marry me. I know it's soon, but it'd make your parents happy, and I want to be with you." 

          You looked at the ring he had in his hand in shock, but Arvin could tell from the smile on your face that you were happy, and soon enough, you threw your arms around him with a "Yes!" 

         For a moment, everything was perfect. The two of you sharing each other's warmth, Arvin is sliding the simple ring onto your finger, and nothing lousy stirring in your thoughts. It didn't seem like anything wrong could touch you two, but still, it did, and it started that night. 

         You had the head home soon after that. You never told Arvin what happened with the preacher. After Arvin proposed, it didn't cross your mind. You spent the car ride laughing, listening to music, and talking about how you thought everyone would react to your news. The two of you drove to the school first to pick up Lenora, and you thought about if you should take your ring off or not. You were so distracted that you didn't realize Lenora was running out of the school for the third time this week. Frowning, you open the door for her, and she jumped into the car. 

      "Y/N?" she asks, shutting it, but the noise of Gene and his gang coming out hollering stopped you from talking. Arvin drove off in a hurry glaring at the boys. They'd did their time, soon, he thought. Lenora noticed your ring, but you and Arvin had decided it'd be best not to tell her yet. Lenora wasn't known for her secret-keeping skills, but a part of you thought she knew. 

         You went to the cemetery with Lenora, all three of you traveling up to her mother's grave. Arvin couldn't help but notice your troubled looks the longer you stayed. He didn't ask why, though. It must've been about your momma, he told himself; it was getting a little dark out already. 

          So he drove you home after that. None of you expected to see the sheriff outside your home, though. Did she report you missing? You thought. That'd be a little extreme. As you stepped out of the car hastily, Arvin promised to stay behind in case something terrible broke out. Your breath hitched when you realized why the Sherriff was here. Arvin stepped out of the car at the terror on your face and felt the anger boil inside of him.

"W-H-O-R-E" was spelled out in red paint on your daddy's car. There were egg yolk and shells scattered across your yard and a broken window. Running up the hill, your mother saw you and pulled you into a hug. "Who did this?" you asked, tears pricking at your eyes. 

Your mother didn't acknowledge Arvin, who had ditched his cigarette and was now behind you, fists balled up. Your mother shook her head. "It was just some criminal boys," she pulls away from you, but her hands still tightly grasp your arms. "Where have you been?"

Arvin stomped off. He knew what 'rascal boys' your mother was talking about, and he wasn't going to sit here and let them torture you too. He ignored the bicker as he got into his car, hurling the door shut. 

"Is she okay?" Lenora asks softly.

         "She'll be fine. Let's get home."

When Arvin dropped off Lenora at the church the next day, he didn't stay with her. Your momma had kept you home, so when he returned to the school, he was just by his lonesome. Waiting patiently outside in his car, the rain poured down while he kept watching for Tommy Matson. Arvin kept himself busy by going through his pack of cigarettes, anxious about what he would do. It had to be done, though; he kept telling himself. Eventually, Tommy Matson came out with a girl, the two headings off to the bus to mess around. It made him angrier. How could he judge you when he was doing the same thing? Arvin made a noise outside of the bus, and Tommy came to check on it, not seeing Arvin before he pulled him out of the bus and brought down the tire iron on his back. 

After that, he set after Orville and Gene. Both of them were in the garage working on the car. Gene didn't see him coming when he slammed the car hood over him. He grabbed Orville and punched him a few times, rubbing the twinkie in his face before turning back to grab Gene, who tried to run off. Kicking Gene, he made sure to keep him down while he wrestled the brown paper bag over his head. If it weren't for the bag, Gene would be able to feel Arvin's breath. "You touch my sister or my girl again, and I'll kill you." 

Arvin left Gene there, and he saw Orville run off after he left the garage. He figured Orville helped Gene; he was wrong though, it'd take several hours until someone found him. The paper bag still on his head. Arvin wouldn't lie: he didn't feel bad about it. 

Arvin went and got Lenora from the cemetery, apologizing about how he missed it, but she didn't seem to mind. She didn't notice the blood on his knuckles either. Lenora seemed happier. "I know you probably got other things you'd like to do, so; I can come to the church on my own now."

Arvin didn't ask any questions about the sudden revelation from Lenora. He didn't realize how bad a mistake that was in the moment because in only a few more months, things would get worse than they ever had been, and he wouldn't have Lenora to confide in. 

✦·․  ──── ❤ ──── ·․·✦·․·✦·․ ──── ❤ ──── ·․·✦·․·✦·․  ❤ ․·✦·․·✦·․· ──── ❤ ──── ·․·✦·․·✦·․ ──── ❤ ────  ․·✦

I hope you enjoyed part two! I posted this on my AO3 (under the same name) first and kind of forget to post it on my tumblr so it’s a little late. I was kind of shocked at how many views it got on here but I’m happy people enjoyed it. 

Don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment!

━━━  MASTERLIST

[bluejellie]

I posted 973 times in 2021

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Longest Tag: 140 characters

#im not gonna go on about how i cant see myself with a man or really anyone but at the same time relationship seem cool yadafa but im ace hdh

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

is this some kind of foreshadowing or some shit

176 notes • Posted 2021-04-10 14:56:30 GMT

#4

twitter is literally trying to get a guy canceled for homophobia who has donated $100,000+ to the Trevor Project and also spams the link to donate there at the end of some of his recent streams. not to mention his chat is... what? 83% lgbt? who constantly jokes about “stealing the gender”? who constantly shares stories about how stupid homophobia is? who jokes in stressful games about how he’s going to start ranting about how stupid homophobia is?

179 notes • Posted 2021-05-19 21:11:43 GMT

#3

There’s so much I’d like to discuss about the rooms from the Tales of the SMP last night. For starters...

- No one idolized anyone who could possibly be viewed as a “villain”. Wilbur, Techno, Phil, and Eret all did not get a room favoring them. This makes sense, especially considering apparently Eret kills King Gogy in the future. However, there’s another person missing who could be viewed as notable- Nihachu. And sure, Jack Manifold, Ponk, Punz, Antfrost, and a lot of other people didn’t get a room, but none of them had as important a plot point as when Niki burned the L’Mantree. I’m not sure what this tells us about the future except that there’s a good chance she doesn’t do anything that pushes her back onto that side of “good”, and if she does then they don’t remember.

- Fundy, in fact, DID get a room. Does that mean that someone helped him and he came back to his sanity a little bit? I’m not sure. Honestly, my main theory is that Fundy’s room was just a total gimmick and its purpose was to add a lot of comic relief to the story. It’d be cool to see people’s theories on this, but I’m probably gonna take them all with a grain of salt because of just how jokingly his character was portrayed.

- Now, based upon what I noticed earlier with the villains and such, it might be a bit confusing that Dream got a room. He was, after all, the greatest villain of all that the whole server fought to unite against. You’d think that’d go down in history! However, when Isaac (Karl’s character) asked Ranbob if Dream was a good guy, he said “yes” and then added that it depended on your perspective. That isn’t just a mistake passed down through time- that’s a serious issue. So my theory is that this was the thing that Karl was trying to prevent by going into the past. If history is not taught it is doomed to repeat itself, and I think that there’s a reason that Ranbob was the only person left in the Lost City of Mizu. “No one leaves this place,” he said. Ranbob- an idolizer of Dream- killed everyone who visited the City, and, based on what we know, killed a lot of people before (possibly all of the other citizens/idolizers).

In the end I’m probably going to end up being wrong, but I felt like sharing my thoughts on how this might connect to canon in the future and about the story in general. :)

220 notes • Posted 2021-01-25 12:39:01 GMT

#2

THE JOSH BATTLE IS ABOUT TO COMMENCE

1072 notes • Posted 2021-04-24 16:41:57 GMT

#1

just. immortalizing this conversation real quick

2001 notes • Posted 2021-04-25 21:28:08 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[poptod]

October 1st (Elliot Alderson x Reader)

Description: He waits until the last moment and it’s too late.

Notes: i wrote a love letter to my friend but im never gonna send it so im profiting off my misery. gender neutral as usual

Word Count: 1.9k

+

Sad, sick people have a tendency of gravitating towards each other, whether or not they're aware of the illness of the other person. You know this quite well – in your rather sick childhood, where your mind was plagued with thoughts of self hatred, most of the friends you made were just about as sad as you. Looking back, it is a rather horrifying thought considering you were only twelve and so ready to die. Your mother said you were exaggerating, and that makes sense. Things were dramatized back then. But there's a flicker of truth in there, a small part within the soul that truly believed they should be dead. There's no sicker thought than that.

This trait, that part of yourself, carried through into adulthood. Unfortunate, really – that means it isn't just teenage drama, it isn't just your peers or your family. It's you. You look at yourself in the mirror and realize with tired, drooping eyes that it was always you. There's a quote – something along the lines of, "some people grow sad very young, and I know this, for I am one."

Elliot is sort of like that, too. Well, the two of you get on fine – in both life and within your friendship – and you don't really need to talk about it. You're both well aware of the others' problems, but it doesn't need to be mentioned. All you do is sit in cafe's together so neither of you are approached by creepy people and smoke together at his apartment. It doesn't need to be more than that.

Despite that barrier in your head, he's still your best friend. Maybe because he's one of your only friends, the other being an internet friend who you visit every now and then. Oh well. You lead a pretty sedentary lifestyle – you don't need a lot of friends. Just one to hang around.

Still, he does get around sometimes. He gets up out of nowhere, you ask where he's off to, and he says out. Most of the time he doesn't let you come, but this time he has and he's just wandering around. Looking at people and rationalizing their presence, watching the birds on benches, staring at shopfronts. For a moment you think to ask why he'd take such excursions in such cold weather, but with a glance to his peaced out face you know he doesn't have an answer.

You suppose that's just fine – there's something about fall that has you enjoying time outdoors. The piles of golden and red leaves pushed up against the sides of the streets, the coffee signs in front of every cafe, each with their own drawings of steaming coffee, and of course the scents in the air. It's not a particularly nice part of the city, but it has a fair share of restaurants and most smell of apple cider and cinnamon. The taste of pumpkin is also there; probably because you're sitting next to a Starbucks.

People pass by you donned in fuzzy jackets and long scarves. You look a bit like them; you're not a fan of the cold, so you have mittens, a hat, boots, and a scarf. Elliot on the other hand is much the same, as usual, and you don't expect him to ever stray from that routine. You like his routine. It's familiar.

"I'm leaving soon," you finally blurt out, a topic barely in your conscious mind but ravaging your subconscious. It's both good and bad news, considering the trip is for getting a doctorate, but it's clear he doesn't feel the same way. His eyes widen and he looks to you almost incredulously.

"Where?" He asks.

"Berlin. They've got this program for foreign students. I'll finally be able to get my doctorate in linguistics," you say, nodding to yourself. "I, um... I don't know if I'll be back."

"Why not?" He asks in a softer, rougher voice.

"It's an expensive move, you know? And there aren't that many jobs for linguists here.. at least, there's more in Europe," you half mumble, staring at your fidgeting fingers.

He gets up and leaves. Without another word except an astounded stare out into space, he stands and leaves you on the bench. You almost go after him, but he's got that look about him, and you know he's a little lost in thought. It'll be fine – you won't leave for a little while (not until October, actually), which gives you some real time with Elliot, if that's what he wants. As hard as it is for people to read him, you have a knack for it. That's probably why he spends any time at all with you.

You're going to miss him quite a lot. Lying in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling in your sleep clothes, the clock well past midnight, you wonder if he'll miss you too. He hasn't talked to you since you told him, which you did a good week or so ago now. Guilt settles deep in your chest – he's a man of routine and you're seriously breaking it. Fortunately, it's not really your problem. You have your own life and it doesn't revolve around what makes him comfortable.

You still feel bad about it, though.

About two weeks before you're set to leave he finally texts you, telling you to come visit him, and though he doesn't say it you know he means one last time. You get it right before you're about to get in the bath, and instantly you reach for the drain, unplugging it to let it drain while you redress yourself. Something nice – not your sweatpants, no matter how warm they are in the late September chill.

Outside rain falls in great sheets, battering down on the already dead leaves and the many, many busy people. Most everyone you pass by is dressed in black – black coats, black pants, black umbrellas. It's like they're mourning a death, though the only death you can think of is that of summer. You don't have an umbrella in your bag, but there's enough people on the streets with umbrellas and enough overhangs that you manage to stay mostly-dry, till the crowd thins out around Elliot's apartment and you get drenched. Droplets of water run down your fully-soaked hair, falling cold on your eyelashes and turning your nose a blushing pink.

Excitement pounds through your heart at the prospect of seeing your friend again. People at your workplace are nice, but no one is quite as intricate or interesting like he is. Every person is special, as are you, but you find yourself looking for the same traits in all your friends. A sort of quiet person with far too much beneath the surface. That's the only way you know how to describe what exactly Elliot is – well, he's kind. Soft-spoken, usually. Lost in his thoughts. Distant. Compassionate, and surprisingly, warm. You don't hug him much but he's warm, and for some reason you never expect it.

He lights the joint, taking a few puffs to ensure it's working before handing it to you, leaning over the small couch so you can reach. Smoke clouds itself in your lungs, forming pockets of dry, happy thoughts in your head. It all comes out with your exhale, like the freeze of hot breath in winter and the fog of dry ice.

"I love you," you say. Blurting is becoming a bad habit for you, but that's okay. You won't see him for a long time, and you need to get it out, no matter how surprised Elliot looks. He always looks a little surprised. "You know that, right?"

He laughs – he actually laughs. A smile spreads across his usually dull cheeks, and a blush crosses him, pink around his grin and pronounced in his ears and the tip of his rounded nose. You can't help it so you smile with him, absorbing the entirety of his fluster. He's always so closed off. Maybe you help him out of that hole, but it's mostly wishful thinking that drives your thought process towards that.

A cloud of smoke releases itself from Elliot's mouth. He doesn't say anything in relation to your announcement, but you don't particularly expect him to. He's a little odd when it comes to affection. You don't mind it in the least, too caught up in memorizing his little movements and his breathy sighs to bother with the tough things.

So that's it. You spend one more afternoon-into-evening with him, and you don't see him again, not at the airport, not over text or Skype. There was a chance of that – you knew that, but it still disappoints and saddens you to watch the ground disappear, the last memory of your Elliot from several days ago. It feels as though it's already fading despite the fact that you remember every detail of your time with him. How could you forget?

Fidgeting with your bag on the plane, you close your eyes and wonder what things will be like when you get back, if you ever do. Your bag is a little like his jacket – a comfort, with fringes that are easy to fidget with, as much as it might annoy the person sitting next to you. Anxiously you dig your hand into your bag, looking for your anxiety meds, only for your fingers to brush against paper.

You don't have paper in your bag.

Pinching it between your fingers, you pull the paper out, revealing an envelope with your name on it. With shaking hands you tear open the glue, unfolding a note scrawled onto leaf paper. There aren't any lines for guiding, but the words are perfectly spaced.

(Y/N),

I'm not sure if I'll ever send this to you. Maybe not – everything is so unsure right now. My constants in this hectic state of the world are few and most are not good. My job, my scars, my anxiety, they never go away but neither do you. It may seem inconsequential to you – you're likable and you have other friends, but I don't. Not really. I have you, though, and it often feels like that's enough.

I always wanted a forever person; someone there throughout all life for better or worse. A bit like tonight – it ended with a bar fight, but somehow I enjoyed it. I looked to you and you were grinning and bashing a guy's head in, and somehow that made me smile. It's always better with you. I don't talk about that enough.

You're the good in the world. I find it hard to believe, much less articulate, how good you are. How kind. Understanding. Creative, open, pure in the best way. You make me want to become a better person, and isn't that what humans strive for? A connection with someone who makes you believe the world is capable of good, someone that makes you believe you'll be alright – so long as you stick by their side.

I don't write these kinds of things. You know that – I don't like bringing my deeper emotions to light. But you're safe and I trust you; I just hope you understand how special you are to me. You deserve so much good and I wish I could give that to you. I can't give you what I want to give you, but I will always be your friend, no matter what.

Elliot

He wrote this a while ago. That bar fight was a year or so ago – is that how long he's been keeping this letter back? Is this why he asked you to come over? ... Is this his attempt to get you to stay?

The plane's already over the ocean. You can't even see the shore anymore.

You realize just a little too late that he's the good in the world.

[demon-winchester]

Tremors Behind The Veil Chapter 6

-Chapter 6- I entered the subway station... I did my research and apparently the safehouse was quite a bit closer using the subway than just walking. I finally reached the place but the door was nowhere to be found...A blank wall with some latin inscribed to it "Invented ad guy quis nulla" and I ran it through a translate app, it meant "to the guy who invented zero". What could she mean by that...I guess I can't ask her but maybe Lydia can provide me some insight. 

I started dialing up the numbers. "Well hello, that was fast" she answered her phone. "Yeah... I ran into a problem and maybe your unlimited brilliance can help me" I replied. "Oh, you're making me blush....Don't be sarcastic just tell me what you need help with" she said and i could imagine her smiling from the tone of her voice. "Alright so, does the sentence "To the guy who invented zero" mean anything to you?" I continued. "Ummmmm I can't say it does" she answered confused. "Nothing at all?" i kept asking. "Well no genius it's literally a random sentence for me" she chuckled. "Alrighty then, well, thanks for nothing" and as i said that a door started appearing and I started laughing. "What happened?" Lydia asked. "This bitch used a pun to keep her entrance shut....To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing." i answered basically on the floor laughing about the situation and i was CERTAIN that Lydia was rolling her eyes. "Okay, I will have to let you go now, I have some research I need to do...maybe we'll talk later" I continued. "Alright, ciao" she said and we closed the call. Now then...time to find Touch, Lien HQ and Red Tiger. After a couple of hours of research I came to a conclusion...Finding a shapeshifter would be really time draining, demons sound like a tough foe at this time so vampires it is. I'll sleep for a couple of hours and then time to head to Touch! I set up an alarm for three hours, I put on some music *Wasteland by Neoni starts playing*, I laid down on the couch and i started drifting away. I suddenly woke up in a strange city. 

There was nobody around me, it felt desolated, the buildings were almost destroyed and the place was covered with sand...it reminded me of the desert i thought. I looked around and I saw a woman standing behind me. It was Circe, the dream version of her. I approached. "I guess your help is needed again"she smiled. "We need to start meeting under better circumstances" i smirked. "That is quite true Aiden" she answered, "I believe you chose Touch....That was quite the decision, Sylvia will tell you what you need to know and it's time for you to leave i believe" she concluded and the alarm started ringing. I got up, I took a bath and i started getting ready. Black boots,black jeans,dark red shirt,grey jacket,earrings, rings, chain and i was ready to go. Suddenly the phone started ringing and it was Lydia. "Hey, watch up" i said answering the phone. "Sup dude, what is your superhero ass doing" she said snarkily. "Oh shut up" I replied "Just getting ready to go to a club". "Ohhh spicy...I didnt know the job description had partying" she said. "Yeah of course.... You know i hate these places, you dont have to be an ass about it" I said laughing it off. "So tell me, how come you go then?" she asked. "I mean, i am still searching for Circe..plus i need my sword back if I am to have a chance." i answered. "Okay wait for me, im coming with you" she said. "Oh stay where you are love, you aint coming with me, shit could get really bad really fast" i said to her with a watchfull tone. "And that's exactly why i'm coming, you need support from a friend when shit gets down" she pridfully replied. "No offence but if something bad happens the only friend i need is a fucking nuke so sorry not sorry, you're staying where you are" i said. "You know how much i hate you sometimes don't you?" she complained. "Well let me prove you otherwise, let's say i owe you a coffee..how does that sound?" I teased her. "Just that?...No deal, you still suck" she chuckled. "A coffee aaaand i'll have you on comms while i go to the club...i could really use a friend on a sucky place" i said wih a small smile. "It's Saturday night and you think i'll stand by on comms and keep you company?.... You are absolutely right" she replied and i could almost see her smile. "Fantastic just an fyi though, since it's kind of undercover i won't be able to answer you every time...just so you wont get worried"i said. "Alright" she replied. It was time to go. "Let's find Sylvia" i thought to myself while passing by the bouncer and he didn't seem amused. I was walking down the corridor, it was like a small tunnel leading to the entrance. The walls had some kind of fur, people leaning on them, some laughing, some puking, some staring. Purple and pink lamps lit the whole place and they made it feel like a fever dream. "These are going to be a bitch to walk through while drunk" I uttered silently. Following the music i arrived to the main room opening the doors.The room was gigantic. Glass panels were on the roof, cages with dancers inside them and a door on the other side of the room,the boss's room I thought. People were dancing, drinking and having fun... these places were never my kind of thing. I sat on the bar and I ordered a red wine. " A wine on a club....either a meeting or you're just boring" said the barwoman handing me my glass. "Maybe both, maybe neither" i said taking a sip. "So tell me what else do you do except pouring drinks and judging people darling." I continued. "ohhh the barwoman....spicy" Lydia said through the comms. "A man being just a bit of an asshole and not a full fledged one, a rare kind these days but nevertheless don't try hitting on the barwoman, you never know what she'll pour on your drink kid" said the barwoman with a wink. "I dont mix bussiness with pleasure unfortunately" i said. "Are you sure unfortunately is the right word?" the barwoman said interrupting me. "Ouchhh ruthless but i'll let it pass. Tell me though, do you know a woman called Sylvia? I heard she's running this place" i continued. "And who wants to talk to her?" said the barwoman. "Circe" I replied. "You don't really seem like a Circe but you do you, i'll go get her for you" the barwoman said smiling and she started leaving. " So, is hitting on the barwoman part of the undercover mission?" Lydia said. "Well no but if you form a small connection with a person, even someone who doesnt know your name, they are more likely to help you." i answered taking a sip of the wine. "I am so fucking sure you drank a bit of wine after saying that just too feel smart" Lydia said annoyed and I almost chocked from laughing. "Okay shhhhh i think she's coming" i said wiping wine of my face. "Oh you sir are not Circe" said the woman.  

"Hello. sorry for using this name but i need to talk to you...somewhere more privately" i said in an apologetic tone. "Haha, no" she groaned. "Im sorry, what?" i asked. "What you just heard. You think you can barge in here and use her name?!" she said. With that she extended her arm, she hit me on my chest and I was now put up against the wall with the drinks. You could hear the shattering of the bottles and the whole place smelled of expensive vodka. I tried to move her hand but she was still keeping me there. She started hitting me again and again. "Why" was all I could mutter through the hits. "Why?!?!?!" she asked angry. "You barge in my club uninvited and you refer to yourself as Circe. You degenerate, you should've known what using this name in here would've caused you! ". She dropped me down and I could hear Lydia talking worried through the comms. "And who is your little friend talking to you." Sylvia continued. She took the Bluetooth out of my ear and she continued hitting me. "You leave her out of this" I screamed and she started laughing while kicking me in the face. "You dare talk to me like that inside my own domain you filth! I am the queen of the vampires and when I talk you bow! Now it's time to find your friend...." she said. I couldn't let this happen. I summoned my armor, I was still wounded wearing it but I had no choice. "Ugh, i never liked reapers... I knew that horrid musk was coming from you, I could smell you before you entered." she groaned. "Ohhh and I just had a bath before coming here... I'm gonna write a strongly worded email to the shampoo company" I said spilling while blood and looking at her with a smile. "We have a witty one today...They tend to taste a bit bitter. So you think you're funny?" she said. "What can I say, a jester fit for a queen" I continued with a stupid grin. And with that she kicked me on the stomach, at this point I could taste my own blood. "You'll show respect when I talk to you!" she yelled and she continued hitting me. "I'll break you tonight and I'll wipe that stupid smile off your face even if I have to sew your mouth shut" she continued with an evil grin. She grabbed me by the neck and she held me up."TURN OFF THE MUSIC" she yelled, silence befell the room and everyone was looking at her "THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS TO ANYONE WHO DISRESPECTS ME!" she screamed and you could see all the people saying "yes miss" with fangs in their mouths. I walked right into a nest. Circe had told me that but I thought normal humans would be among them.How many people are actually Accursed..... Suddenly one of the bouncers opened the doors, wounded and horror itself swam throughout his eyes. A black whip emerged from behind him, wrapping him and dragging him right before our eyes... His screams suddenly stopped.

[pocket-clown]

a journal mishap;

// original request: Ooooh I don't know if you've done this before but could you write a fic where the reader finds Arthurs journal and reads his notes about them? Like what would he write about?? How'd he react to reader confronting him about it? 😳

thank you for the request, anon!

Summary: After not realizing that he, in a tired haze, had dropped his journal on the bus, Arthur is ultimately forced to admit his feelings for you - which to his surprise, end up being much more reciprocated than he thought.

Words: 2,970

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Arthur could feel his heart practically seize up in his chest once he shrugged off his hoodie and realized that his journal wasn’t tucked into the waistband of his pants like it usually was. 

He always kept it there on therapy days. Always. 

He had brought it with him, right? Of course he did - his social worker asked him to, so he always made sure that he did. She even read some of it today, much to his surprise and ultimate discomfort, but she gave it back and he remembered folding it and tucking it into his sweater like he always, always did.

So where was it? 

“Happy?! Is that you?” His mother’s shout for him momentarily brought Arthur down from his panic, though it was short lived. 

“Of course it’s me, mom. Who else would it be?” He sighed, though his tone was gentle as he slipped off his shoes, leaving them in front of the door before making his way further into the apartment where Penny was sitting in her chair as some old news rerun played on their small television. She only glanced up at him for a second as he moved the pillows on the couch around, just checking so he could be sure that he actually did bring his journal with him today and didn’t leave it hidden away at home.

“Well you never know with this city, anymore. Just today there was another break in - it’s very unsafe here.” Penny nodded towards the television as the newscaster went on to talk about an apartment burglary that wasn’t too far from their own building that occurred recently - recently, as in almost a week ago, but Arthur didn’t feel the need to point that out. He didn’t know what the point of replaying old broadcasts was, but at the moment he didn’t really care. 

“Oh, ma - you don’t think I could protect you?” Arthur teased, taking a seat on the couch so he could actually rest a moment for the first time all day. “No one’s gonna bother us - we don’t have anything they’d want, anyway. Are you hungry? Do you want some dinner, now?” 

He didn’t miss the flash of doubt that crossed his mom’s face in regards to his comment about protecting her, but still smiled once she nodded and said that he should at least eat something, too, because he “always looked so tired, now.”

His journal wasn’t on his desk, either, he saw as he made his way into their small kitchen so he could heat up her dinner. His panic was only growing as the seconds ticked by, and he absolutely racked his brain while he thought about where he could’ve possibly left it. He hadn’t stopped anywhere on his way home from seeing his social worker - work was much earlier that day, and he didn’t need to go to the pharmacy - so there was no place he could’ve accidentally left it at.

So where was it?

While waiting for his mom’s TV dinner to heat up did he pace the small kitchen, briefly considering asking her if she saw it around - but he knew there really would be no point in that because he knew that he brought it with him for the day, so she wouldn’t have seen it around. That, and the fact that his mom really didn’t need to know that he’d lost his journal; “sometimes I don’t know where your head is” she’d always say with a sigh, and he’d always been so careful with it, insisting that he wouldn’t lose it, that he couldn’t - because not only did it have his private thoughts in it, but it also contained his original comedy material that he didn’t want just anyone else getting their hands on. 

“Happy, did you take the bus home? The weatherman said it’s going to rain again, tonight.” Penny called from the other room, oblivious to her son’s turmoil.

Arthur opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, he was hit with the realization;

The bus. 

The bus! 

He must’ve dropped it on the bus!

The bus - which was long gone by now.

Arthur groaned, before he turned around and thud his forehead into the refrigerator out of frustration.

                                                          ----------

"i dont think shed even be inturestid"

“im too old anyway”

“shes pretty. she has a nice smile.”

“would she be mad if she knew i followd her again?”

Though not spoken aloud, the words read loud and clear inside your head. Sentence after sentence about who you presumed to be yourself filled one of the many pages of the journal you’d found on the seat of the bus, crude drawings of what looked an awful lot like you in your sweater lining the margins. 

It was Arthur’s journal that you held in your hand, indicated by the scratchy writing on the front label that read Arthur Fleck. Of course you didn’t know this when you initially found it; it was already flipped open, haphazardly plopped in the corner where the bus seat met the wall, as if it had fallen there without its owner realizing so after they got up. It was flipped to a page full of messy handwriting, and at first you were just planning on shutting it and handing it to the driver in case the next day someone came around looking for it, but then your eyes fell on your name with smiley faces scribbled all around it at the top of the page. 

At first you figured it must’ve been a coincidence; Gotham had a few million people living in it, no doubt did at least a handful of them share a name with you, so this could’ve been about anyone - but that’s when you scanned the page and saw details about you specifically written down, accompanying the aforementioned drawings, and it hit that the was writing about you. You’d flipped to the cover for a second as you sat down in your seat, no choice but to as the bus had begun moving, and that’s when you saw that it belonged to Arthur and your heart fluttered in your chest.

Did Arthur really feel this way about you? You questioned as you peeked where you’d left off, for a second time.

“got to find a way to talk to her more”

“shes the only one thats nice to me”

“i reelly really like her” 

You quickly flipped the notebook shut for good this time, pressing it’s worn body to your lap before sinking back into your seat.

This was Arthur’s personal journal - his personal thoughts - you couldn’t just go through it like that, no matter how much you may want to. 

You knew Arthur was troubled; not that he was dangerous or anything, even though some of the other tenants in the building spoke of him like that was the case, but within the months that you’d known him the two of you had grown fairly close and you’d learned enough about him to know that he struggled with much more than most people would ever even come close to. It broke your heart, if you were being honest; he tried, he tried so hard to better himself and take care of his mother and try to make those around him smile - but so often did those same people, and at times did it seem like life itself, figuratively and sometimes literally in the case of the former, spit on him.

You both shared a bus; the stop was a level down from the street your apartment building was on, so you’d always walk there and wait for the bus when you needed somewhere to go, and a handful of times had you bumped into Arthur, him being nothing but polite - shy, he seemed at times, but you were the same way so you didn’t mind. On some days, though, he didn’t even need to tell you that he’d had a bad day - the way he’d barely lift his head to look at you as you passed by said more than any words ever could.

Arthur usually got home around this time, and considering you found a belonging of his, you realized you must’ve literally just missed him through the hustle and bustle of the crowd as everyone poured out of and refilled the bus. If you’d found it sooner, you would have run right off the bus to find him and return it, but within moments of getting on said bus and within seconds of finding it, the bus had began moving, and you were ultimately forced to keep hold of his journal for the next who-knew-how-long.

Delicately did your fingers trace the edges of the journal as you gazed out of the window as the bus moved through the streets, taking you to your location after making a few stops to exchange passengers. You mulled over the situation; how would you even approach Arthur about this? Just knock on the door and hand it to him? Leave it in front of the door? Should you even mention that you read some of it? With the way he wrote about you, you felt that you shouldn’t because it seemed so personal that you worried the poor man would die of humiliation if you told him you knew how he felt about you, but you kind of wanted to. You’d be a big liar if you said that the way he wrote about you didn’t make your heart flutter, and you’d be an even bigger liar if you said you didn’t feel the same way. 

It would be awkward - but you needed to return it to him, and you hoped you would be home early enough to do it tonight.

                                                         ----------

Almost two hours later at nearly eight in the evening did you finally return, and within those same two hours had Arthur practically driven himself up a wall with anxiety regarding his missing journal. 

His mother, barely awake next to him on the bed as they engaged in their almost-nightly routine of watching the Murray Franklin show had seemed blissfully unaware of her son’s restlessness, and Arthur could hardly stop himself from flying to the door once he heard a knock at it, praying that it was some sweet stranger who was kind enough to somehow manage to track down the owner of the notebook they’d found.

Though it was no stranger, Arthur was still relieved when he opened the door, a fond smile on his face once he saw who was on the other side.

“Oh - Y/N, hey.”

“Hey, Arthur.” You paused for a beat, not sure how to say what you wanted to. “Are you missing anything?” 

“Oh, no? I don’t think so.” His voice was quizzical; he seemed a bit caught off guard by your odd question as he’d taken a second to respond. He needed to play it cool and not trouble you, he thought to himself, but after a second of contemplation he figured that it was best to admit that he had indeed misplaced something - you were always nice to him, maybe you would help him find it. “Actually, I’m missing -”

“This?” You cut him off, holding out the worn notebook to him before he slowly took it from you, his eyes looking between your own and it a few times.

“Where did you…?” 

“The bus. It was in my seat. I realized it was yours after I closed it and saw.. your…. name.”

You sighed, eyes closing once you realized you had pretty much just admitted that it was open and that you had read it, to some degree. “I mean - I didn’t really read much of it. If I had known it was yours then I wouldn’t have read it at all, I just - didn’t know what it was. I didn’t read a lot.” 

Arthur’s eyes went wide at this, and he looked absolutely petrified. 

“What… did you read…?” 

“Oh! It was nothing, it was just - ah - ,” You pause, your hand finding its way to your face and you scratched at your cheek, shifting awkwardly in place. You’d lie, if you could; you’d save yourself the embarrassment of admitting that you had snooped, and Arthur the embarrassment of knowing that you had read his personal writing. 

“Am I really the only one that’s nice to you?” Quickly, barely above a whisper, did you blurt out your question. You honestly didn’t know how else to answer his question, other than with one of your own.

Arthur was dead silent as he stood in the doorway in front of you, his hands squeezing the sides of his journal as he stared you right in the face, and you couldn’t bring yourself to break eye contact with him.

“Y/N - about that, all that... I’m - I - ,” He looked like he was about to die. Arthur brought his hand to his neck - he could feel a laugh beginning to choke up in his throat - and he turned his head away from you as he tried to keep himself calm, his voice strained as he managed to choke out a remorseful “I’m sorry.”

“You’re really the only one that’s nice to me, too, you know.” You said, your voice soft. It was true; everyone else in Gotham was so damn rude all the time - but not Arthur. Not your sweet, albeit troubled neighbor. 

Arthur let out an abrupt laugh at this, immediately slapping the hand that wasn’t squeezing the life out of his journal over his mouth. He refused to make eye contact with you, fearing that doing so and seeing the look of disgust and judgement that you absolutely, without a doubt had would push him over the edge and cause him to erupt into a full-blown fit.

“I mean it - I like how you wrote about me, Arthur. I really do. I’m sorry that I snooped - and I’m sorry that I’m kinda making it worse right now by going on about it.” You almost laughed, the heavy regret you felt weighing down on you, your face feeling hot. Never in the short time that you knew him did you see Arthur get angry, but you felt that he was probably pissed at you for going through his personal diary like you had, and you wished you could’ve gone back in time and just gave it to him and said you found it on the ground, or something.

Unbeknownst to you, though, Arthur wasn’t pissed. He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t even mad. The look on his face once he finally managed to look at you was one of pure perplexity, rather than anger; he looked, if anything, like he didn’t believe you. He looked like he expected this to be some big, cruel joke.

“I shouldn’t have read it, I’m sorry, but… now that I know how you feel - I should probably admit that I feel the same way.” You whispered the last bit, afraid that maybe you’d totally misinterpreted Arthur’s writing and it, in fact, was about someone else, or that his feelings for you had gone down the drain now that he knew the context surrounding how you’d learned about them in the first place.

“No - you can’t,” He choked out in between the laughter he was trying so hard but ultimately failing to suppress. “Why would you like me?” 

The amount of utter disbelief in his voice expressed at the mere idea of you liking him back was heartbreaking, to say the least. Whether the tears in his eyes were from sorrow or his laughter (which you knew the reason behind; one of your first meetings with him was rather awkward and in the end he’d been forced to hand one of his condition cards over to you as he broke down in a fit) you had no clue, but they didn't keep you from stepping up to him, closing most of the gap that was between the two of you as you took one of his hands gently in your own.

“Arthur, I really mean it. Hey… if I didn’t, do you really think I’d still be standing here?” You spoke, and when Arthur failed to take his eyes off of the ground to look into your own, you tilted your head ever so slightly so you could get a better look at his face before you took a peek over his shoulder, into his apartment. “Hey, is your mom awake? Would you be able to step away and come to my apartment for a bit, so we could talk? I’d really like to do that, but only if you’re comfortable with it.”

You hoped that smiling how you did at Arthur once he finally raised his head, tears in his eyes, was enough to convey how sincere you were in your words. You wouldn’t play with his feelings like that - you couldn’t, even if you wanted to (though why anyone would want to was beyond your imagination), and you honestly expected him to reject your suggestion and slam the door in your face under the impression that you were. When he didn’t though, and instead tightened his grip around your own hand ever so slightly, a scoff of a laugh leaving him, you felt your heart thud with relief. 

“I don’t - are you sure?” His voice was still tight, though not as much as before, and you hoped that was an indicator that he wasn’t as worked up. When you nodded in response and told him that of course you were sure, you could almost see the relief wash over him, and though you knew that it would take some time on both parts to really let it sink in that your feelings were mutual, you were more than happy to spend said time with him. 

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taglist (adding hours later because in my rush out the door it completely escaped my mind to add this o o p s sorry!);

@tahliamalfoydepp @tsukiakarinobara​

[mccncrane]

INTRODUCING — KALANI "MERCY" AHUNA

“ I WAS EVERY WORD IN EVERY LANGUAGE, AS LONG AS IT TRANSLATED TO BLOODSHOT. ” is that JASON MOMOA? oh no, that’s KALANI “MERCY” AHUNA, born on the 15th of APRIL, 2004. i heard HE/HIM (CIS MALE) is a MOST TRUSTED of the IDAHO HUNTERS.  apparently, they can be WARM and HUMOROUS but also known to be SELFISH and UNPREDICTABLE. spends most of their free time (TERRORIZING) PRANKING THE PRISONERS FOR ENTERTAINMENT, probably smells like STRAWBERRIES AND SMOKE. is that a bite mark i see?

HISTORY: (tw for death, the usual) (me starting this: i barely have anything to say! / this in the end: probably the longest intro i have so far)

Kalani Ahuna was born under difficult circumstances. He lost his father very young, and his mother even younger, which left him to be raised by his fraternal grandparents. He never felt like he was missing out on any parental figures growing up, but there was the undeniable fact that they were much older than most parents -- Kalani always knew he wouldn't have much time with his tūpuna.

They lived in a small town in Nevada, and when the apocalypse started, they were moved into a qz on the northern area of the state. Fedra wasn't doing a great job. Kalani's grandparents were already much too old to be living in these conditions; while the quarantine zone kept them safe from the monsters roaming outside, they couldn't afford the lack of resources. Kalani was a big guy, even as a teenager, he could handle sharing his own rations with them for as long as he could, but eventually, it was too much.

By the end of 2025, their qz was a warzone in itself. Fedra was losing control and starting to abandon the area, food was almost inexistent, clean water and medicine were also hard to come by. Kalani's grandparents, now too old and fragile to continue, passed away. One after the other, barely hours apart on the same day. Kalani believes it was simply their time to go, and they went together.

He was sad, but he knew they went as peacefully as they could. And all things considered, maybe this was a better death than being torn apart by an infected. He greeted their death with grace, and decided to leave the qz. He took their bodies out with him, buried them somewhere pretty and covered them with flowers in the woods.

He roamed alone for about a year, freshly twenty-something, until he found the Idaho Hunters. They were just planning their final takeover of the city, and he proved himself a worthy ally when he helped them.

He got his nickname by talking a big talk about forgiveness and the belief of not holding onto any grudges or bad feelings, as he'd always been close to his Hawaiian culture. Someone probably jokingly said "yeah okay, Mr. Mercy" in a teasing tone, and he laughed so hard at it that it stuck. He likes it.

About ten years later, one day when he was roaming the outskirts of their town, Mercy stumbled upon a woman in danger. He felt compelled to save her, and once he did, things made sense. It was like there was a gravitational shift on the Earth itself, it felt like all of the energies in his body realigned. Meeting her changed him, immediately, even if he couldn't quite put a finger on how. They talked as if they'd known each other since forever, and he became easily convinced that their souls had been each other's companions for many centuries. It didn't feel like meeting someone knew, it felt like finding an old friend again; a reunion.

He managed to convince the Hunters to take Aylin in -- by being dramatic about it and saying they could either take her in or he'd be leaving with her, which he definitely meant. She is the absolute love of his life, they got married at some point, and he will kill and die for her, thank you.

At some point in the last couple of years, while he was outside with Aylin, they got themselves into a troubling situation with a couple of infected. Mercy is good at combat and has brute force, but he'd gotten distracted and one of the things sunk its teeth into his side. It was a gnarly bite, and the only reason he didn't lose a chunk of meat around his ribs was because Aylin managed to shove the infected off.

They sat there for a while that day, with Mercy trying to convince her to kill him before he turned, which she refused to do. It was for the best, in the end, since hours passed and he felt none of the symptoms. Hours and more hours, and he didn't even feel tired. He patched up, eventually, they went back to camp, and they kept quiet about it. After the initial shock had passed, Mercy started to believe this was not a normal bite. He wouldn't turn.

Surely enough, he's immune. He still hasn't told anyone else besides Aylin, and if anyone notices that he doesn't take his shirt off in the summer anymore, no one has said anything, either. He keeps the obnoxious scar on his side a secret -- the only thing he hides from his beloved group of Hunters.

TL;DR:

raised by his grandparents, they died of old age. he roamed around for a bit, found the idaho hunters, joined them. then he found aylin, his soulmate, his wifey, his boo. they live a chill life with the idaho hunters. he gets bit, finds out he's immune, hides it from everyone but aylin. nowadays he's out here chilling, being a most trusted and protecting his fellow hunters. as well as terrorizing some prisoners for Funsies.

PERSONALITY:

an absolute goofball idiot. he has a childish sense of humor, he likes to mess with people and he doesn't have a solid understanding of boundaries when it comes to pranks. he's your older cousin who made you cry when you were 5 because he showed you some traumatizing horror film while he laughed his ass off. probably slaps his bros' asses lovingly.

despite being painfully between chaotic neutral and chaotic evil, he is not all chaos, he's pretty emotional. he's open and honest, he's a romantic, he loves love, he wears his heart on his sleeve. he thinks there's beauty in pain and sadness, he's just very peaceful in that sense, and very in tune with his feelings. we love an emotionally stable man.

that being said he is not above slaughtering an entire village if someone hurts his loved ones 😌bc he's protective of all of his hunter family and aylin (of course), and he doesn't see anything wrong with killing people sometimes. broken moral compass energy, but like, it is the end of the world. mr mercy will still kill u if u deserve it. he will forgive your soul and then still chop your head off bby.

EXTRAS:

im not gonna make y'all read any more, i'll think of connections some other time !! if you got any ideas, yes, come give me anything !!

[pumakaji64]

fuck im gonna watch the film theory on Ratatouille even though it’ll make me mad

 part 1.

preface: It’ll probably look like im taking this way more seriously then I actually am ( I mean I love the movie so on some level yes I am ) but I tend to come across way more aggressive then I mean too in my writing oops. Like I don’t mind people having different takes on a piece of media, you can respect and authors intent while still having your own thoughts about a work even if they don’t line up because sometimes what a creator tries to convey and what they really do aren’t exactly the same. But if you’re gonna have such a wild take you better be able to back it up with some real good evidence. Overall tho I’m mostly just doing this cuz im bored lol ( also I haven’t seen the movie in awhile so my memory is a little foggy )

So going in I already know what the argument is gonna be “ good guy bad, bad guy good” whatever, so I’m just gonna comment on the argument and presentation itself as I watch the video

Ah I see we’re going with the good ol’ “ not technically lying but intentionally omitting and/or wording things in a manner that benefits my argument “ technique, I’ve used that before.

Nitpick: As someone on twitter brought up: Protagonist doesn’t mean “good guy” it’s the leading character that the story if focused on, so even if Remy is a bad guy he’s still the protagonist.

I get it’s probably a joke but Remy’s whole deal isn’t that he wants to be famous. He just genuinely loves cooking but can’t do with without fear of being murdered since he’s y’know a rat.

He doesn’t willingly leave his colony, he’s separated from them after he blew their cover by getting caught while cooking and for prioritizing taking the cookbook over escaping.

I’ll just say it now since i’m sure it’ll be brought up later, yeah Remy is kind of selfish, and thats actually a good thing. Him being a flawed character makes him more interesting and this also swiftly sets up his character arc early into the film.

“ If this sounds like an inspirational story about overcoming obstacles and achieving your destiny... you missed the point.” bruh the arc words of the film are literally “Anyone can cook”, it’s about overcoming prejudice to achieve your dreams in spite of everyone telling you not to because of the identity you are born with ( this is not just seen with Remy but also Colette, a female chef )

“Narcissist” As I said before yes Remy is selfish and at times this makes him unlikable but he genuinely cares about his family but he struggles to connect with them since they can’t understand why he’s so passionate about cooking.

Calling it now, the crux of this argument is going to be the scene where Remy gets mad about Linguini taking all the credit for Remy’s work during an interview. Which yeah I’ll agree that Remy was being unrealistic but Linguini had been ignoring Remy’s advice and had grown a bit of an ego which of course eventually leading to Remy having a heated gamer moment and doing abusing Linguini’s trust which the story punishes him for. It’s not a simple right or wrong situation but more of a two wrongs don’t make a right type.

“Jerk of a creature” Newsflash! Not all protagonists are nice, even the ones that aren’t villain protagonists!

First point: Remy is a thief and a hypocrite. I’ll admit I was agreeing that Remy is a hypocrite until he gets to the point of Remy letting his family steal from the kitchen. 1.) This was when him and Linguini were starting to have a falling out, he was angry at him and starting letting that affect his judgement. Was this wrong of him? Yes and he regrets his actions. 2.) Remy cares for his family even if they don’t always get along and his anger at Linguini makes it easier for them to pressure him into letting them steal.

“Remy never learns his lesson” maybe not explicitly but he does face punishment throughout the story. Stealing the book and food from the old lady costs his family their home and gets him separated from them. Allowing his family to steal from the kitchen leads to Linguini calling off their partnership. I don’t remember him stealing again after that.

Also is he implying that Remy is bad for stealing the will that proves that Linguini is the rightful heir to the Gustaeu that Skinner was trying to hide so he could keep profiting off of a dead mans work?

Remy is aware that what he’s doing is wrong, we are shown this through the figment of Gustaeu which represents his conscience reprimanding it but Remy continues to justify himself until it’s too late. He is a flawed character.

“In a realistic context.” Good thing this is a Disney kids film

Fraud!? You’re gonna grill Remy for fraud when Skinner is the one intentionally keeping Linguini from learning about his birth right?!?!?

“Poor Linguini. The sap that Remy controls like a puppet.” here we go again with the manipulative wording hooray

I see where he’s going with this one and it’s really funny to me that’s interpreting Gustaeu’s “Anyone can cook” line the same way Ego does for most of the film. Ego takes the opposite stance MatPat does by mocking the line because to the critic not everyone has what it takes to be a great chef. It’s by the end of the film he changes his perspective on the line to the idea that a great cook can come from anywhere even in the most unexpected of forms like Remy.

Gotta love the clip he added of pre-character development Remy being a jerk to Linguini before to two even met. It really ads to the manipulative wording he uses to make Remy look underhanded and shifty.

Is he really gonna gloss over Remy attempting and failing to teach Linguini how to cook? Remy is a fucking rat who can’t talk directly to Linguini attempting so teaching him would be really damn hard. Not only that but they are on a time crunch and don’t have the time necessary to teach Linguini how to cook like Remy can.

Also whose to say that by watching what Remy is making him do Linguini hasn’t picked up any cooking techniques by the end of the film.

It’s not like Remy freaking forced Linguini into being his man-puppet. Remy is a small animal who can’t talk to people so honestly Linguini has most of the power in their dynamic. Linguini can call of their partnership anytime he wants and even does so after Remy is caught letting his family steal. 

“And whats it for? Just so Remy can cook! Just for his own benefit!” BRUH, DID HE NOT SEE THE PART WHERE SKINNER THREATENS LINGUINI’S JOB IF HE CAN’T RECREATE THE SOUP!??!? (Also skinner only wants to keep Linguini around if he can make money off of him )

God damn he really is taking advantage over the fact that most of his viewers either have never seen the film or only watched it when they were young to straight up ignore elements of the fucking plot lmao

“Who hasn’t forced un-consenting adults to kiss “ I can’t believe MatPat is trying to #cancel Remy for being #problematic, #remyisoverparty. The stretch is real my dudes.

LMAO HE LITERALLY MAKES A CANCELLE ON TWITTER JOKE BRUH FUCK OFF

Jesus I feel most of what I have to say will just be me restating what I already said. Ugh lemme just summarize it: Remy is a flawed and selfish rat who often prioritizes following his dreams over his responsibilities putting not just himself but his family at risk. But guess what? He faces consequences for that! His actions get him separated from his family and lost in a giant city, the only reason he doesn’t die is because he got lucky and found Linguini ( also because it’s a film and it ending at the start would be lame )

Also so is he arguing that Remy should just accept his lot in life and give up on his dreams because he can’t change the fact that he’s a rat ( which MatPat often reminds us by calling him unhygienic a lot so far ) as if that’s not the crux of his character dilemma.

I agree it’s wrong of him to put his family at risk but that only applies to the opening of the movie. How is he the only one in the wrong later in the film when both him and Linguini acknowledge to risk of their teamwork?

Here we go with the disease thing again. This is anti-rodent propaganda and I will not stand for it! >:(

Also bruh it’s a fucking kids movie.

??? how the fuck would Remy be aware of rats carrying diseases??? does he work for the fucking CDC????????

“Remy is bad because he kidnaps the pest inspector” Because it would get the restraunt shut down if word got out about the rats!!! And the only reason there are so many rats in the kitchen during this part is because the staff except for Colette all walked out!!!!!!!!! Which, guess what MatPat, wouldn’t just fuck over Remy but Linguini too!

“Oh sure they wash themselves but only after they walked into the kitchen!!!!” and I thought I was bad with nitpicking!

No need to bring up that The Jungle is a fictional story, nope! I guess it’s only fitting to use a fictional book as evidence for an argument covering the logistics of a fictional movie!!!!!!

Remy didn’t fucking “quit” his “job” as a rat poison sniffer, he still does it but he also cooks in secret. When he’s caught he’s separated from his colony ( which MatPat still hasn’t brought up ) so of fucking course he can’t keep sniffing for a clan when he is literally not there!!!!

Also if he’s talking about later in the film when Remy refuses to rejoin the colony when he reunites with Emile then we get the moral dilemma of Remy rejoining his family while fucking over Linguini who can’t cook because Remy is a small rodent and can’t adequately teach him do to a language barrier.

lmao this dramatic emotional music he’s playing bruh

He really is taking the kiss thing that seriously

“I’m not saying Remy shouldn’t follow his dreams” Thats literally what you are saying

“Chef Skinner does nothing wrong” Okay you law-loving bootlicker lol

I’m not ready for the second half of this so im gonna take a break and make a part 2 later

[thetwistedclocks]

so like,,,, couldn’t focus and did this instead

- time for a hunting trip or patrol or whatever everyone’s there and alive we got the whole gang: arthur, leon, percival, elyan, gwaine, lancelot, and merlin

-this is an au so gwen and lancelot just are together and there was no drama with arthur

- gorgeous day, kinda hot though so they decide to stop for lunch and fuel up

- le bandits sneak up on them, and attack

-everything is just like a typical fight, everybody but merlin is whirling around, doing their thing

-merlin is behind a tree, doing little stuff to make sure no one is wounded badly or killed

-our shining knights wipe everyone out, just a ton of bloody bodies scattered around the clearing except they missed one

-this little rat sneaks up behind merlin and he’s got a knife poised to kill merlin

- arthur yells desperately for merlin to move, he cannot lose him not after morgana, not after his father, no no no 

- merlin whips around to defend himself, but he has no weapons, everyone else is too far away to help, and without thinking he blows the man back twenty feet, where he hits a tree and dies 

- everyone is frozen in place

-merlin slowly turns around to see arthur because oh shit

- arthur says no in a strangled, desperate voice

- arthur’s face contorts and he then starts to scream: how could you, you lying bastard, i trusted you, you were my best friend

- gwaine preemptively moves towards merlin, fearing for merlins safety

- lancelot does the same

-merlin just quietly says im sorry and then whirlwinds out of there but lancelot and gwaine were close enough to get sucked in with him

-the trio lands in a forest pretty far away from camelot, and merlin just curls up into a ball

-gwaine and lancelot look at each other and merlin in shock and have a silently mouthed conversation above merlin’s head

- Gwaine: what the fuck Lancelot: shit ok did you know Gwaine: I kinda had some idea but I never dug too deep into it, did you know? lancelot: yes, he saved my life by killing the griffin with magic Gwaine: so what now Lancelot: I guess we’re fugitives with him now Gwaine: he’s not gonna move for a bit, we need to take care of him until he recovers Lancelot: agreed, lets find shelter for the night

- and they do they just build a fire and make sure merlin’s warm and has some water but he refuses food

-back with arthur the remaining knights suggest going after the trio but arthur shuts them down, hes not letting himself show any emotion

-they ride back to camelot, everyone finds out, gaius is just broken at this cause he cant see merlin or help him anymore, gwen decides to leave camelot without telling anyone to search for her best friend and love, she forgives merlin but wants an explanation, arthur turns in on himself and closes himself off, hes curt and cold, the other knights just dont talk about it though they each slowly forgive the trio over a long period of time

-after a week of no talking, merlin finally speaks to gwaine and lancelot and says: “lets go back home, I can face arthur, and you two can rejoin the knights

-they immediately refuse, saying that they trust and love merlin, and they chose to stay with him

-merlin brings up gwen in hopes to convince at least lancelot but he says its safer for her in camelot and he trusts he’ll see her again someday

-merlin just cant argue anymore, hes tired, and mourning everything he’s lost

-in the morning, they decide well we gotta live somewhere so they figure out where they are, which is western camelot on the very edge at the foot of a mountain range that marks camelot’s border

-they set up a little cabin just outside a nearby village and live their lives

-pretty soon, after occasionally being in the village for supplies, the villagers get suspicious and ask them questions

- they just so happen to catch merlin, who’s a terrible liar, and he blurts out hes a healer

-this village has 0 healers so they start to bring their sick to merlin, who heals them for free, which results in lots of gifts of food and other stuff

-gwaine and lancelot start teaching sword fighting to keep themselves sharp and help out the village

-things are chill like this for a few months

-gwen is still wandering around, learns a bit about magic, and is just traveling through western camelot, hoping to find the trio

-back in camelot, arthur is cracking down on magic

-he isn’t killing people, but anyone found guilty of magic or anything is locked away in these cells uther had made under the regular dungeon out of sorcerers’ bones that contains magic, its like a second purge, just without the executions

-gwen knows this and wants merlin to come back and stop arthur

-lancelot and gwaine slowly gets merlin’s entire story out of him, and see him as a leader now

-merlin is quieter, more reserved, and rarely uses magic at all

-one time this little girl, maybe 10, is brought to merlin wiht a weird set of symptoms

-merlin immediately knows shes developing magic, so he sends the parents away, promising he will heal her, and then he tells her

-she is scared of not being abole to control her new powers but isnt scared of having the magic itself, and tells merlin that her parents are ok with magic too

-the next day he meets with her family, and they discuss it, and eventually, they all decide that he can train her

-so like a few weeks go by of this, and then another person comes to merlin

-this time its an older woman and she wants to learn how to control her magic

-pretty soon merlin is training a lot of people and gets a reputaion

-gwaine and lancelot are worried about how little he sleeps, and how little he talks about the past, they cant help him though

-gwen hears about this village, where magic is celebrated, and finds it

-she arrives, and runs into gwaine, who takes her hand and runs shouting throught the village back to the cottage where lancelot is training 

-happy reunion yay

-she and merlin talk, she gets his full story, and he is just a little happier knowing that she’s there but he also finds out about whats going on in camelot

-in camelot, all of the knights just dont talk to arthur anymore, for fear of his verbal abuse

-hes crushed that gwen is gone too, and feels that he has been abandoned 

-more and more magic users flock to this village until rumors reach all the way back to camelot

-arthur orders a raid, he orders no killing

-he doesn’t lead it, but eventually, 20 knights or so attack the village

- a lot of magic users are taken, and a few people killed in fires set by the knights

-merlin feels responsible and decides that his merry band of misfits needs to be safer and a whole lot more defended

-so he and a majority of the village move into the mountains

-merlin is now the accidental leader of a rebel camp

-its called camp maxia(magic in galcian/gaelic) and its inhabitants maxians

-years go by, as the camp grows with refugee families and those from villages attacked by bandits because the knights are all out looking for magic users and not protecting anybody

-merlin, with his right hands gwaine, lancelot, and gwen run maxia as a safe place for everyone, and he creates a name for himself as lord maxia to protect his real identity

-arthur knows about maxia, obviously, but doesn’t have the forces to take it down

- during this time gwen and lancelot have this huge wedding, very magical, and very nature themed

- so arthur has most knights out around camelot, and morgana knows this, she joins forces with cenred and takes camelot with ease

-arthur, leon, percival, and elyan get out together

-percival suggests going to lord maxia for help, as he’s got quite a sizable force and has been kind to camelot in not attacking them

-arthur immedietly shuts him down 

-they camp outside of the city for about a week, a couple civilians find them and tell arthur whats happening in camelot

-morgana is starving the people and killing those who act up

-arthur still loves his people, more than he hates magic

-so he agrees to go to lord maxia

-arthur, leon, percival, and elyan set out with the few civilians; the knights are each secretly hoping to see merlin at camp maxia, arthur is secretly terrified of that happening

-they’re picked up by a maxia patrol and held in a makeshift cell until lord maxia accepts them into the camp, cause they’re wearing camelot stuff 

-merlin is told of a group from camelot in the cells and knowing of camelot’s state immedietly send gwen and lancelot to meet them

- they expect a few knights and prepare to ask how they can help take back camelot

-when they see its elyan, arthur, leon, and percival they have the civilians released and cared for and sit down to talk to them

-arthur wont look at them, so leon speaks, and talks about whats been happening

-gwen offers maxia’s help, and lancelot says that planning would be a lot easier if they weren’t in a cell, and asks if they want to be processed into camp maxia

-the processing entails a quick truth potion along the lines of veritiserum 

-leon says he couldnt speak for the whole group, so lancelot says its a personal choice

-percival volunteers first, and then the other knights agree to it as well

-arthur is silent, but livid

-the knights are processed, and meet merlin, and for a night they all have a meal together and its almost normal 

-in the morning, merlin goes to see arthur, except he conceals his identity

-they talk, arthur is bitter, merlin is cryptic

-after a few days arthur realizes that in order to help his people he needs to set his anger aside and is processed

-merlin, identity still hidden, administers the test

-under this truth potion, arthur is honest about his views on magic in ways he didnt even realise

-merlin keeps his identity hidden for the planning, much to everyone’s dismay, but they respect his decision

-an attack on camelot is planned

-arthur at this point is slowly trusting knights again, and gwaine, lancelot, and gwen

-they ride for camelot, with camp maxia’s army

-the knights, including lancelot and gwaine, are with arthur and merlin, who’s identity is still hidden

-gwen leads the medical group behind them

-the battle begins, fought by merlin’s men against cenred’s army

-morgana threatens to kill the imprisoned sorcerers 

-arthur and merlin, still hidden, fight their way to the throne room

-its just them and morgana and the sorcerers

-arthur is thrown by morgana into the sorcerers

-then its down to merlin to stop her

-so they fight, a big badass magical fight scene 

-merlins cover is blown, hes hurt, looks like hes losing

-arthur is flipping out because its merlin and he forgot how much he missed him

-merlin is about to be stabbed by a magical bolt from morgana and arthur just screams merlin’s name

-merlin hears this and needs to live so he can talk to arthur so he defeats morgana

-battles over, people are freed

-merlin is chilling on top of the castle when arthur comes up

-they talk, for a long long time

-when they come down, merlin is forgiven, but not trusted, and magic is now not illegal

-merlin is made the court sorcerer, lancelot and gwaine knights, and gwen is a lady too cause she’s married to lancelot

-the foursome is now part of the round table and camp maxia is disbanded, no longer needed, and becomes a city at the foot of the mountains

-the knights can protect villages now

-all is right, except merlin and arthur still have this great distance

-gaius retires and just chills in merlins tower

-one time he’s out doing something important and arthur breaks his leg in training

-hes brought to merlin, who very very quietly asks if he can heal arthur using magic

-arthur agrees, and he sees merlin use good magic for the first time ever 

-this breaks down a barrier

-arthur visits merlin and talks about matters of state

-eventually just his day

-and then he trusts merlin again

-they become best friends once more

-then one night at a ball, merlin is being flirted with by a very attractive knight

-arthur gets really possesive and jealus

-he grabs merlin’s arm and tugs him away, saying something about court matters

-he dragsmerlin back to his room, huffy and angry, not letting go of his arm

-merlin asks what they need to talk about, and he doesn’t get an answer

-next he asks gently whats wrong

-at this point they’re at arthur’s chambers

-there’s no gaurds, they’re at the ball

-he tugs merlin into his room and just glares at him

-merlin is confused and asked what he did wrong, scared to lose arthur again

-arthur just groans and looks away and mumbles something about nothing

-merlin walks over, puts his hand on arthurs back, and says: “well its clearly not, tell me whats going on.”

-arthur just stays quiet

-merlin persists: “arthur please dont shut me out like this”

-arthur suddenly pins merlin to the door

-he just growls, “dont flirt with him”

-merlin is very confused and kinda scared because hes always loved arthur but arthur definitely doesn’t never ever in a million years feel the same way

-he quietly says why not

-arthur just. stares at him. “are you serious?”

-”yes?”

-and arthur just does the whole possesive door kiss thing

-merlin got a light bulb

-a few months later they’re married

-merlin is crowned king

-the end

just, random idea thats been bouncing around. should it be a fic?

[mirohed]

park seonghwa | the trouble with twenty

pairing: park seonghwa + fem!reader (theres ONE mention of the reader being female im kinda mad i thought this was gender neutral the whole time)

wc: 3.0k

genre: fluff and angst (but the fluff wins)

warning: mentions of death

concept: when you fall in love with someone that isn’t your soulmate, you give a piece of your soul to them; failure to find your soulmate before running out of soul to give results in one’s death + you stop physically aging when you hit the age of twenty.

a/n: ok holy shit i ,, never finish my wips 99% of the time so im glad this could b the 1% !! s/o to @akokj @cheelix @lvryeol @trulyjaehyuk & finally a big big thank you to one of my irls who’s been w it since its beginnings in early january SDHJS

The universe, you find, seems to work in mysterious ways; you meet your first boyfriend in high school. The both of you are wide-eyed teenagers with no sense of how love works, but it's fine as long as you're together. It's Jongho that sits across from you at the diner and sips from your shared milkshake. It's Jongho that takes you to drive-in theaters and plants a nervous kiss to your lips on the ride home.

It's a sweet love that blooms in the summer, a whirlwind sweeping you higher and higher, and you relish the view. Being with him comes with this sweet, bubbling feeling ("Like soda?" he had joked one afternoon) that begins in the pit of your stomach, spreading outward until you sport matching carefree grins and aching cheeks.

The year is 1939, and you're on the cusp of your nineteenth birthday when all that has gone up begins to come crashing down.

You're about to fall asleep one night when you sit up, a sharp pain shooting through your whole body. You know what this feeling is; you've had to help Jongho through it when he went through the same thing.

Everyone says losing a part of one's soul is both a tragedy and an expected outcome. You've always maintained the opinion that the universe enacts its own cruel, unusual punishment on those who love anyone besides their fated partner. Those you love more than life itself are the ones who end up killing you.

Loving Jongho burns. It sears your whole body with an inhuman heat, and your mouth opens in a silent, pained scream.

And just as quickly as it had come, the pain vanishes, leaving a faint heat under your skin.

You turn nineteen. You still live in the same town you were born in. You reexamine your life.

Growing old isn't for you; too much to do, too much to see. You're meant for things greater than wasting away as his housewife and nursing his children.

A few nights later, you disappear with nothing but a few bags, whatever fuel remains in your car, and the road ahead to keep you company.

You wish you could say you lose track of time from there, but you don't. Time passes, and the world patches itself from years of war and anger. You return to what could be considered the new normal a little hardened from harrowing times, but otherwise no worse for wear.

You spend time with others — enough to break a few hearts. The feeling of new life, pieces of other people’s souls, being breathed into skin that grows older is a high unlike any other. You push down any thoughts of love, running from town to town the second things feel too real for you. Your body stops aging, and it’s a little jarring at first, but you grow used to seeing a twenty-year-old you in the mirror, even as you age far past it.

Your friends and family are still alive and well. You write to them sometimes, letters with no return address. You know your family wants you back, wants you to find the one your soul aches for, wants you tied down. You tried to understand it, you really did, but all it got you were sympathetic looks and a divide that wedges itself deeper and deeper and deeper.

At some point you realize that the letters you wrote, once full of emotion, have become monotonous, mere updates with no real commentary. You stop writing them.

The transition from summer's vivid green to autumn's dusty orange marks your arrival in a new town. You're idly swirling a drink in your hands when you lock eyes with a leather-clad young man from across the bar.

It's 1953 when you meet Mingi. He's exhilaration, speeding down empty land on a motorcycle he keeps pristine. He's everything your parents might have frowned at, bruised and bloody knuckles that have seen one too many bar fights. You come to find that he keeps a surprisingly soft heart locked behind it, one that opens easily to you.

The two of you are on a road trip when you feel that familiar rush, and you help him pull over. He grips your hands, bites into the blanket in the backseat, until it's over. He lets you take the wheel until you reach a rest stop.

You remember the night you gave the second piece of your soul away. It's a chilly autumn night — your anniversary. You hadn't listened to him when he had told you to dress for cold weather, and you were paying the price. Shivering, you run your hands up and down your arms in an attempt to warm up as you get off his motorcycle. It doesn't work, and Mingi notices, doing his best to hide a grin.

"What did I tell you?" he teases. You're about to open your mouth for a retort when he shrugs his jacket off (that same worn leather piece you saw a year ago) and helps you fit your arms in the sleeves. It's an action he's used to, but there's something about the atmosphere tonight that makes your breath hitch. You look up at him, and he grins before leaning in.

The kiss is slow, his mouth moving languidly against yours as the city sleeps below. He pulls away first, biting back a chuckle when your lips try to follow. “I love you,” he whispers as he pulls you into his embrace.

And again, the pain that makes your blood boil. Somewhere in the haze of pain, between bunching your hands in his shirt and loud curses into the night, you tell yourself this is the last time you give your soul to another.

You feel a subtle pain in your chest as you head to the next town, leaving Mingi and the memories in the rearview mirror.

Time passes, and you see enough winters to make you sick of snow. You become the longest-lived person in known history, and it makes you famous.

You're contacted to speak about your accounts from major historical events (none of which are particularly useful), and find yourself in movies and documentaries, on talk shows, and more than once as a speaker for a new museum. There was a point where you could turn a corner and someone would recognize you as the only living "immortal."

It's one of those corners turned, on one of those countless winters, that you run into a young man. You don’t miss the way he swallows lightly before clearing his throat to apologize.

You've long since lost track of time when you meet Hongjoong. (But if you had to give an estimate, you'd put it around the 21st century.) You don't think it matters when he takes you for coffee, pulling you into a cozy corner cafe. He draws you in, little by little, and you pretend to not notice.

Where he is open, you are closed — on your fifth date, he tells you that he doesn't think he'll find his soulmate anytime soon.

("The world is too big," he says, bumping shoulders as you walk side by side. "I'm too old to keep going."

"How old?" you ask. He hums, takes a preparatory sip from his drink.

"Almost forty by now, I think."

You wonder if he's forgotten that you must be more than twice his age. Instead you say, "Really? You don't look a day over twenty." He grins at that, a beautiful thing that leads to a laugh you could never tire of hearing.)

You stay with him for much longer than you need to, long after he's given one of the last pieces of his soul to you. You wait for the "right time" to leave, but the right time never comes. Time passes. Seasons change. The two of you stay together for many winters before you finally come to your senses.

It happens one morning when you wake up shivering because he's hogged the blanket (again). As you try to reclaim it, you feel the familiar heat threaten to boil over.

You barely manage to get to the bathroom before the pain begins to crash over you in full force. After it's over, you remove your hand from your mouth, refusing to look at the tooth marks left behind.

There’s no more waiting for the right time, you think over the klaxon that blares in your head. It’s here and now.

Leaving Hongjoong is a terrifying thought, and somehow even harder to follow through with. His love isn't like Jongho's, sweet and awkward; it isn't like Mingi's, a fast-paced adrenaline rush; it's different. Softer. He reminds you of home — or at least, as home as a person can get for someone like you.

And unlike with Jongho and Mingi, the thought of staying with Hongjoong is very realistic. You've caught yourself picturing it more than once, and had to chastise yourself each time.

You pack your things for the millionth time, but as you glance back at your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, you realize you can't just leave him without an explanation. The years you’ve spent together mean more to you than that.

Hongjoong wakes up hours later to a tear-stained letter. (By the time he finishes it, the ink is smudged and barely legible. His tears have mixed with yours in a sort of last kiss between them, and the thought causes him to sob once more.)

Joong,

If you’re reading this, I guess I must have already left. I wish things could be different I know you, and I already know that you’re gonna take this personally and blame yourself for not being enough. You are enough. You’re more than enough. I think I’m just selfish

Anyway I just want to thank you for...everything. The past few years have been better than I can express, and I think that’s what scares me. You’re the You’ll find your soulmate soon, whether they’re your meant to be or not. I’m sorry it couldn’t be me.

I love you.

Goodbye.

You definitely keep your guard up after that. Through every date you go on and every significant other you burn through, your walls stay up.

You've grown nostalgic over the past decade. Using the wildly advanced technology of who-knows-when, you track down a list of death sites.

You visit your family first. Your heart breaks a bit seeing the empty space in the shared family headstone. This was where you were supposed to be laid to rest. You turn away from the dilapidated cemetery, pulling up the coordinates to your next destination.

You find yourself staring at the fountain in the middle of a shopping mall. According to your holotech, this is where Jongho is buried. Your lips form a disapproving line as you close your eyes and try not to think about how he would have loved this place. You try not to think about him taking you here and nudging you in the direction of the arcade or food court as you rush out the doors.

They've gone and built a neighborhood over the cemetery where you would have found Mingi. From the looks of it, it looks like its residents are particularly affluent, and you can hear him snort in your ear. Even after years apart, you swear you can still smell the strong scent of cigarettes that followed him like a lost puppy. He would have hated his fate, and you offer a morbid chuckle in his memory.

You're crouched beside Hongjoong's tombstone, running a thumb over the warm stone. The birds chirp amongst themselves in a nearby tree, and you're thankful for the distraction. He wasn't buried with another person; you hope he managed to find someone regardless. You read the inscription — To you, forever and always — and swallow the lump of guilt that’s lodged itself in your throat.

It's on a calm spring morning that your holo rings. The centennial edition of a documentary you were in is currently being filmed, and the staff is requesting you interview with them again. You were going to accept anyway, but the producer piques your interest when she mentions another similarly...long-lived person. The trepidation in her voice is obvious, but you ignore it. Instead, you ask for the name of this immortal and to be interviewed with them. ("I thought I was the only one around," you had laughed into the phone. "It'd be good to make a new friend." The producer gave a pitying hum before agreeing.)

You try to search for any evidence of this new immortal, but come up with virtually nothing. You're more than a little disappointed that this person isn't milking their age for all it's worth, but you suppose they’re just more private than you are; after all, their existence is a relatively recent discovery.

When you first meet Seonghwa, you find it difficult to breathe. He's handsome, with a tall frame and a cute smile that would have caught your eye regardless.

Seeing him also hits you with a feeling you've dreaded for hundreds of years that makes your chest tighten. (In hindsight, you should have known exactly who he had to be, considering his similarly long life.) When you make eye contact, you can tell he feels the same immediate attraction. He has the audacity to smile.

"Finally," he murmurs. It's reverent, as if he's finally fulfilled his life's purpose. Your clench your jaw, ball your hands into fists so tight your knuckles go white, and narrow your eyes. Your heart's going a mile a minute, and you're choosing to interpret it as anger.

You've spent centuries building your fame on a foundation of nothing but broken hearts and your own ambition, and for what?

You're not sure how old you are when you find yourself on the downswing. You know that your body will start to physically age, and in about sixty years, you will have met the same fate as everyone you've left behind. The thought leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, but you swallow it, at least for the time being.

The interview goes off without a hitch, and you make to leave after thanking the staff when —

"Wait!" Biting back a curse, you continue moving (and make an effort to go faster). Unfortunately, Seonghwa's more than capable of keeping up with you.

"Look," he begins, running a hand through his hair, "I don't claim to know your relationship situation, but I'd at least like it if we were friends." He focuses on the polished toe of his shoe and gives an anxious chuckle that seems to be more for himself than you. "After all, we're soulmates. You might not believe in them, but I've imagined what it would be like to finally meet my soulmate since I was young."

You don't know how (you blame the universe), but you go out for lunch with him after that. Much of the meal is spent in silence (although you've got to take the blame for this one), and it's not until you're almost done that he strikes up a conversation.

"Were you hiding?" He twists the straw of his drink between two fingers before making eye contact.

"I don't hide. You've probably seen me around in some ad or another on the holo. Maybe even before that, when people still used computers and printed newspapers." He narrows his eyes a bit, trying to remember, but comes up with nothing. "I always thought it was you that hid. I've been all over the world, but this was the first time I've ever heard news of another immortal."

"I believe in fate. I've taken things as they came because I knew that in the end, it would be you and me. Turns out I was right."

You don't know how (you're still blaming the universe), but you exchange contact information. You go on more...friendly excursions with Seonghwa.

("Why not cut out the middleman and call them dates?" he asks, settling down on the couch next to you.

"They're not dates. We're not together, are we?" You turn the movie on, marking the end of the conversation.

When you fall asleep latched onto his arm, your head on his shoulder, he plants a soft kiss on your forehead. You wake up that morning wrapped in a blanket that wasn't there last night.)

You don't know how (actually, you do), but "friendly excursions" eventually turn into dates.

(The two of you sit at a park bench, listening to rustling leaves and the distant noise of cars passing.

"Is this a date?" you ask, taking a spoonful of his ice cream, your own sitting empty on your lap.

"They're not dates," Seonghwa parrots. "We're not together, are we?"

"Let's change that. Date me?"

"I thought you'd never ask.")

Dating Seonghwa is much like being wrapped in a warm blanket. He's caring and sweet and so thoughtful that it makes your head spin. You realize that somewhere along the way, you had lost the joy and wonder that came with life. Luckily for you, each date (whether it's a shared pizza in his apartment or a hike somewhere new) restores an optimism that you didn’t know you missed.

Decades pass, and the two of you are on your daily walk. Your bodies start to show their age, but when you look in the mirror, you still see youth alight in your eyes.

("When we first met, I thought that it was all downhill from there, but I was proven wrong."

"It's been a long time since I've heard you say you were wrong."

"And each time, I tell you to not get used to it.")

When the life slips away from you both, you promise to meet each other in the next life and every one that follows.

The universe, as mysteriously as it may work, hears this request and tucks it away, ready to see it through.

[dnpsuck]

once you get around to listening to lover what did you think !!! im v curious on your opinions about it heh

thank u for wanting my opinion. i thought i was gonna make it a brief review thingy but i cannot be brief for the life of me. i’m sorry. anyway,

i’mthankful it’s a long album because based on me! i knew i’d like it. not thatme! is a masterpiece or anything but it’s brighter and more fun than herprevious era which i Did Not like. i know reputation is, taylor swift history-wise, important. it’san album she did no press for and allowed the songs speak for themselves and i really like this idea and the sentiment behind it, i’m just Not A Fan of the execution. edgy taylor swift doesn’twork for me. don’t blame me slaps tho. i’ll probably compare these songs to alot of reputation, sorry.

anyway. loveris a more colorful album and probably my favorite pop album from ms. swift, i’m not good at like. Grading things so i won’t be like ‘this is a 8.5 kind of album’ cause like. i don’t know numbers? what you need to know is that it’s a good album. let’s gowith the tracks:

may i add that this is not coming from a taylor swift fan, however i have several friends who are into taylor swift so it’s hard not to get the slightest 2nd hand interest. 

i forgot that you existed: was excited as soon as it started! theproduction is lighter and less dramatic. i feel like contrary to reputationwhere she was kind of obsessed with the people who hurt her and betrayed her inthe previous years, this song is a nice way of letting go. a nicer, yet stillkind of shady, revenge by being like. Oh. You Mean Nothing To Me Anymore.

fave lyrics: “it isn’t love, it isn’thate, it’s just indifference so.. yeah.”

 cruel summer: the chorus…. amazing! i remember reallydisliking her reputation singles, especially “ready for it” because it was veryunnecessarily dark and, again – in my opinion – dark and edgy doesn’t work fortaylor swift.  BUT, rfi had that chorusthat escaped the intense beats and kind of went back a little to her 1989 eraand it’s the one thing from the song that i actually tolerated. and i feel likeall of cruel summer is song that fits the melody of the rfi chorus better thanrfi itself. does that make sense?

fave lyrics:the entire bridge but especially: “i don’twanna keep secrets just to keep you” and “i love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?”

lover: 11/10. fucked me the fuck up. it’s a song aboutlove that isn’t a still-too-fresh-and-uncertain love, or some angsty love. it’sjust love. she’s properly in love and is singing about it with somuch care and certainty. it’s a happy song about the one she loves and how could i hate it? bestsong in the entire album. probably my 2nd fave taylor swift song ofall time

favelyrics: “with every guitar string scar onmy hand” so much is being said in this one fucking line. i absolutelyfucking love it. the fact that this song was 100% written by her is a big plus.

the man: honestly was kinda stressed about the kind of discoursethis one could cause, especially cause of the lack of addressing the whitenessof it all but idk. this is her ownexperience so how much can we ask from her? and also in many ways this feels like 5years late but i’m not gonna complain about this. better late than never (andshe has addressed sexism in her songs before so it’s not like she’s just starting at feminism). she’s made severalpoints w this one and it sounds good. 

favelyrics: the part where she’s like “what if i was bragging about the models i’mfucking?” cause like. girl is aware of aspecific group in her fandom and i appreciate the little nod (it being real ornot)

archer: love the lyrics. this was like. the 3rdsong from this album that she released and i was So Relieved to actually SEEsongwriter taylor swift coming through. it’s a great song about self hatred andreflection, etc. but i’ve listened to it enough times to know i’m gonna be skippingthis one when i’m listening to this album. 

favelyrics: “screaming ‘who could ever leaveme darling?’ but who could stay?”

 i think he knows: the chorus and her vocals… *chef’s kiss*. loveit. cute crush song. more mature yet fun style that works for her. 

fave lyrics:all of the chorus.

miss americana: i get it, i see the politics of it all but. i’mgonna skip it. soz 

favelyrics: “my team is losing, battered andbruising i see the high fives between the bad guys”

 paper rings: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS. again, pure,happy, bubbly, unashamed love. a love bop that i adore. 

fave lyrics:“i like shiny things but i’d marry youwith paper rings / i hate accidents except when we went from friends to this”

corneliastreet: it’s a nostalgic song that i can’t decide if it’s exactly abreak-up song or not. i like to think the “sacrednew beginning / that became my religion” lyrics are a nod to her bestreputation song aka don’t blame me. i’m so-so on this one but it’s definitely notbad, don’t think i’ll be skipping it for now. 

favelyrics: “that’s the kinda heartbreak timecould never mend / (…) and baby i get mystified by how this city scream yourname”

 death by a thousand cuts: eh? it’s nice and soft and sad-ish but. idk.not right now - since the album is still pretty fresh to me - but i’ll probablystart skipping this one eventually. 

favelyrics: “you said it was a great love,one for the ages / but if the story’s over why am I still writing pages?”

 bondon boy: i am so sorry for every londoner that had tolisten to this one. i could hear it being offensive as soon as she startedsaying those words. it sounds nice and fun but jesus christ taylor. it’s likesomeone from her label said “you gottamake it clear you’re fucking that joe dude or your album won’t sell” andtaylor immediately googled ‘british slang’ and wrote this song. 

fave lyrics:“but something happened i heard himlaughing / i saw the dimples first and then i heard the accent” i’m asimple phannie. i hear the word dimples i think of dan

soon you’ll get better: bro. was not ready. you can hear thepain and fear in her voice. the chorus kind of reminds me of “never grow up”(aka my fave taylor swift song), etc. the sad, almost hopeless addition of “cause you have to” is so heartbreaking. it’sa personal and gorgeous yet sad song, and she goes back to her country roots for this one,so that’s nice. absolutely beautiful. 

fave lyrics:hard to choose but “you like the nicernurses you make the best of a bad deal / i just pretend it isn’t real / i’llpaint the kitchen neon, i’ll brighten up the sky / i know i’ll never get itthere’s not a day that i won’t try” i hate, hate, the notion ofromanticizing a sad and scary situation like this one, and i think i understandthis as less of romanticizing and more of sympathizing with, cause i’ve alsobee in this situation with my family – but because it was just a few days agothat phil revealed his father’s battle with cancer, i couldn’t help but thinkof him too and how much he must have feared for his dad while still trying to keep it together for everyone around him.

false god: love the sax. i know i will fully love thissong at some point. i know it. i’m just not there yet. i like the parts when she has torush her words. i’ll get there with this one. 

favelyrics: “they all warned us about timeslike this / they say the road gets hard and you get lost”

 you need to calm down: fun, boppy, cute. i get what shewas going for and appreciate it. it’s a more carefree pop song and i’m okaywith it. not unskippable though. 

fave lyrics:“and i ain’t tryna mess with your self expressionbut i’ve learned a lesson that stressing and obsessing bout somebody else is nofun”

 afterglow: i don’t know yet. probably one i’ll skip. notbad, i don’t think there’s a song in this album that is necessarily Bad, butthis one is just not really memorable. 

fave lyrics:don’t have one actually. soz

me!: definitely not a masterpiece BUT introduced usto this era which is probably her best pop era. i loved the absolute changefrom the reputation era, bringing back colors, bringing back fun, introducing amore politically active taylor swift, etc. i also like the idea that she knowsthat this is not her best work but she knew that if she was gonna make a catchyradio friendly pop song, she’d make one that’s about self love, etc. 

fave lyrics: i’m a simple girl, “me e e e, o o o oh”

 it’s nice to have a friend: this folk-y vibe? works? is thisfolk? sorry if im being dumb. but it has a lonely vibe, it’s kind of really sadin a way, but it’s lovely at the same time. 

fave lyrics:“something gave you the nerve / to touchmy hand”

 daylight: a song about letting go and forgiving herselffor her past mistakes and learning to focus on the good parts of her life, morespecifically her lover. like new year’s eve was to reputation, this is a nicesong to wrap this album. 

fave lyrics:“you are what you love”

[lifeanddcath-blog]

* POWERED『 ― dread it. run from it. destiny still arrives for you, pamela isley . poison ivy is said to be thirty-six years old and she is a villain / antihero associated with the gotham city sirens. on good days they can be passionate but catch them on a bad one and they’re vengeful. on that note, don’t they kind of resemble jessica chastain ? 』( k / she/her / 19 / est )

this ooc intro is nothing compared to uma thurman as poison ivy walking in dressed in a pink gorilla suit, but i’m k and i am very excited to be here ! i haven’t played ivy in too long and i’ve been missing it ! tbh i,, lowkey just,, pull from arcs and verses i like,, so with that said,, here we have an ungodly amalgam of new 52, gcs, life and death, and no man’s land !

( triggers: abuse, murder ofc, drugs, martyrdom? )

ok so we love the new 52 bg

ivy, at the time pamela ofc, was born with a very rare skin condition that made it so she was unable to go outside without an extreme prescribed lotion. 

but that was a problem because she loved gardening! but back to that later-

her father was... very abusive ( y’all who haven’t read her n52 bg just WAIT for it ), but always ‘made up’ for it by bringing ivy’s mother flowers after hurting her. she began planting the flowers with ivy and told her about the healing process flowers essentially induced. we love a nice mother/daughter relationship.

well, one day, this child was minding her own business when, lo’ and behold, her father had killed her mother and buried her in their garden.

y’all see what i mean by “WAIT for it” i was shook to my core.

skip somewhere around a decade later because dc isn’t the best at full coverage and her father’s in jail and she’s in college, selling pheromone pills in an attempt to see if they ~manipulate the mind~ as she theorizes they might. bada bing, bada boom, she gets caught and is on the verge of expulsion, but manipulates the dean and graduates with two (2) honors.

karma who?

update: what the fuck how did i forget to mention that she visited her father in jail one day, applied a special lipstick, and gave him a kiss before leaving?

you see, this is important because the next morning he was found dead.

oh man we stan.

shortly after, she went to work for wayne enterprises in the biochem division, but was fired pretty quickly considering her pills were... lmao immoral? 

however, there was a mixup with security and, while she was beginning to pack her things up, they came in to take her away and wow! get rekt! her compounds spilled all over herself and wound up turning her into the antihero/villain we know today ! they fucked themselves over on that one !

anyway, this is always really weird to type, but ivy essentially became... half human, half plant. i have had to type ‘half plant’ plenty of times in my life, but it never gets comfortable.

so now i’m gonna hop around a little bit and kind of just gloss over other notable arcs that i love and plan on incorporating, but aren’t as Important™ as the bg itself !

since i haven’t had the opportunity to talk much with the lovely harley and selina muns yet, we stan the gotham city sirens !, but getting their full take on it would be A1 before i... really dive in, ja feel ?

that being said, i’ll skip to ivy’s arc in no man’s land/aftermath of no man’s land, aka the arc that really just... sucker-punched me.

again, glossing over it, basically everyone wanted to force ivy out of robinson park after she’d taken it over in no man’s land. but ivy is the lorax, she speaks for the trees! 

but staying inside was basically a suicide mission, what given that their final solution would be spraying it with an INCREDIBLY strong herbicide, thus killing all plant life and... she’s half plant. they said multiple times that the solution would kill her too.

“i prick you with thorns and you respond with lead. isn’t that the very heart of the problem?” “some thing are worth dying for, batman.” BIIIIIIITCH this arc just GUTS me every time.

but, you know, given that she’s still alive........ one of the children she’d been sheltering managed to convince her to leave the park........... by also almost dying.

stan list.

as for life and death, i’m not planning on acting on the whole “obsessed with finding a way to have children” part, but the career ? the passion ? the way she ruined her friendships and (wbk) relationship to pursue her cause ? hell yes.

everything else?

i put her at a 5/6 on the kinsey scale. largely more attracted to women, but some men can get some.

obviously manipulates men the most, though. 

harley’s mun and i haven’t been able to speak much yet, but we do love some canon harlivy in this house, yessir we do !

on that note, fuck the joker.

honestly we could use a real life poison ivy with the way climate change and all is going today which really brings me to that link in the ‘antihero/villain’ part (i am so funny you guys). she’s obviously an extremist, although it has dulled down some, but she isn’t hurting or killing with no cause. all she wants to do is save the environment.

if al gore were a woman with superpowers...

i found a ‘tag urself: poison ivy’ and we’re going sharp, war flashback, and emo. 

but also tag urself im thuma urman

i feel like... most people know what her powers are. we love plants. we love pheromones. we love a connection to the green.

catch me in the woods trying to get a plant to communicate with me.

alright ! i think that’s about all i have for right now ? 

thank u for bearing with me ur all treasures and feel free to either like this or hit these DMs to plot !

[tumblunni]

I had a really weird dream involving Dr Maddiman. Its a shame i can barely remember any of it and also it seems i woke up before it ended? Like i just had this overwhelming sense that allll the plot threads were gonna be wrapped up any second now and then BOOM awake. So just a whole bunch of random stuff happened with no real explanation at all.

It was some sort of post apocolyptic setting i think? Humanity was in these small isolated cities fighting against some sort of invading army but we never actually saw the aliens themselves. And some part of my brain was like "it makes sense its the same rules as a hairdresser and the design takes cues from a pack of AAA batteries". I have NO idea what that means! So basically everythibg was super vague and undescribed and dream-me just had a sense of already being a long time fan of this series and knowing enough to fill in the gaps. Apparantoy this was some sort of adaptation of a thing id already seen, but id been told the ending was different and more accurate to the manga? Also i wasnt actually a person watching this show i was still the protagonist of the show yet i acted like i'd been reincarnated and relived this week a million times or something

ANYWAY the way dr maddiman comes in is that he was some sort of 'brilliant but dangerous' expert the government had hired to help our fight against the aliens. It wasnt really explained why he was.. yknow.. maddiman. Like is this meant to be that ghosts also exist in this sci fi universe? Was he a half alien hybrid instead of a yokai? Was it just human maddiman with the personality of yokai maddiman due to ptsd...? In any case he didnt seem entirely tethered to the laws of reality and nobody knew exactly how he pulled off all his scientific miracles. He was treated as the only guy who could understand the mindset of the aliens, but that also made him dangerous because he trapped in the delusion of everything being okay and fun and happy and he often did evil things by accident while having good intentions. But they didnt have anyone else who'd cracked the code of the alien weaponry so they had to put up with him. He was just sorta assigned a crack team of secret agents whose job was Be The Old Man's Friend So We Dont All Die. Dont let him realise how the world is all destroyed and such, just play along with his goofyness and try and remind him to do his important work while dancing around why its important. it was super creepy how he was locked up and gaslighted like this!! And he was all 'oh im sure when im done with my ultimate experiment i can go home to my wife and kids' and yeah it was implied here that the same backstory applied :( 'distract the old man and validate his false opinion that his family is still alive and waiting for him' :( poor sci fi madds :(

Oh also for some reason he seemed to be wearing elements of Adventure era Dr Eggman's outfit? But just the general style of the coat and the wearing goggles that he never actually uses. And he had a very warm and cuddly autumnal colourscheme

Anyway i was part of the Super Secret Grampa Cherishing Division whose job was to act as his assistant but also secretly be packing a bazillion weapons to neutralize him if he poses a danger to humanity. But i started to genuinely care for the guy and question the 'any atrocity is permitted for the sake of saving the world' philosophy of my bosses. Also it was just very weird how it was this post apocolypse alien fighting action thing yet i didnt see ANY OF IT cos this story was confined to this one laboratory. It was surreal hearing about all this stuff happening offscreen!

I think Maddiman's main project was some sort of dimensional transport thing using salvaged alien tech? It was just a door in his lab that usually led to a closet but if he got it working itd teleport us straight to the alien base and save the world. And a lot of it wasnt explained but i got this great sense that itd all come together with a great twist ending evebtually but then i woke up before i got that far. Same for the reveal of this maddiman's new sci fi backstory and soooo many other dropped plot threads. Alas!

So anyway: closet. Closet with one of those bead curtain things cos i was thinking about them when i fell asleep. It was supposed to be a teleport but when it malfunctioned it had really scary negative effects warping people's biology and stuff. I remember one of the test subjects was sent in for a five day trip to a specific alternate dimension but then when they came back itd been several years and theyd had to survive in a deadly wasteland and been mutated into a hellbeast. And maddiman had a huge breakdown because he felt like his recklessness and optimism towards this experiment had caused this mistake to happen, and he'd never realized just how awful the consequences could be. He was babbling motor mouth discussing theories for where it went wrong and there was something like 'we'd only tested it for one day trips and assumed that just programming two of them would equal two days but actually with each additional number on the screen it multiplies the days by 3" And there was something about like...the bead curtain was the machine rather than the door itself? Like trying it on a bunch of different doors around the lab to try and find a way to cure this person.

And there was some sort of artificial intelligence computer with the personality of an adorable lil girl, who helped maddiman do calculations and stuff. She missed the mistake in this calculation cos her concept of linear time and the limits of human organs was kinda undeveloped. She only existed within the realm of numbers after all, and didbt even have functionality to record footage of her human friends's faces. No idea wtf a human looks like! So maddiman was lost in his desperate grief of potentially accidebtally killing or at least mentally scarring a person and the government would probably kill them now if they saw they were a super mutant. And he was sobbing and begging this AI to help, his last resort was her maybe being able to see a brainwave that he'd missed. But she was freaking out cos she didnt even fully understand why maddiman was crying let alone what to do to fix it. Eventually she did manage to find a solution theough some simple different logic thing that she had from her perspective as a computer. And that person was saved but still traumatized and maddiman had a moment of realizing just how high stakes everything was and freaking out. He was like 'whats wrong with my head, why didnt i notice that, why was i so reckless, why cant i seem to grasp basic human logic that i need right now" Having a big existential crisis of 'wait how did i even get in this lab, where's my family and why do i seem to have superpowers'. Protagonist mission: hide all the goddamn mirrors to avoid this weird ghostgramp (...aliengramp??) from realizing he's dead (..or an alien??) and losing control of himself. And everyone was running around talking about 'containment procedures' and poor maddiman didnt know that if his panic attack continued he might just straight up be killed for outliving his usefulness. So the protagonist was desperate to help him calm down and it sucked SO MUCH cos they had to lie about his past and weave the web of deception around him again for his own safety. In the end they just hugged him close until he calmed down, and all the other employees were like GASP THEY ACTUALLY TOUCHED THE EVIL DANGEROUS SUPER EVIL MAN and protag was like 'i am 1% away from slapping the next bitch who insults this grandpa'. And it was super depressing cos once he'd calmed down he seemed to start forgetting that anything bad had ever happened?? And he was really panicking and scared cos he didnt understand why he was forgetting, and he knew he had to cling onto something important but he didnt know what. And then five minutes later he was back to haha cheerful nothing is wrong and i love doing my fun science in this room im never allowed to leave. And protagonist was crying the tears that this poor gramp wasnt allowed to cry :(

Also actually i think maybe he was a ghost AND an alien? Like he was a scientist who died in some sort of tragedy back when the aliens first invaded, but along the way he'd been infected so his body got back up as a twisted combination of human and inhuman. And this was something unique to him, like he just happened to have a genetic mutation in his blood that was totally undetectable in life but happened to mix unpredictably with this alien virus to turn him into a hybrid instead of just killing him. So the government was very interested in finding a way to replicate this and create new supersoldiers, as well as just taking advantage of this dude's confused mental state that granted him a unique understanding of alien tech that made him more effective than other scientists. And, of course, also made him easy to manipulate :(

And i also had a feeling that maybe his backstory was mixed up with Adventure dr eggman? Like here it seemed he had a daughter instead of a son, and she had a similar death to Maria Robotnik where she was assasinated by the government he worked for, and it tipped him over the edge. I think Maddiman-alien-scifi-dude originally died trying to save her from being used in some sort of experiment? Like she was already dying of a disease and thats why maddiman took this job to have access to powerful government technology to try and look for a cure. But when the whole alien apocolypse happened, the evil government decided to use her for experiments cos she was 'basically dead anyway'. Theyd just lie and tell maddiman she died of her illness. So this was how they found out that this particular family's bloodline had a mutation that let them form a viable hybrid with alien dna. They were turning this poor kid into a monster in the basement while lying to her dad about her being dead! And maddiman was about to commit suicide from having no reason to live anymore, with the hell of this apocolypse world and the false impression that his kid was already dead. But somehow monster-daughter sensed this or something and broke out of containment to try and save him, and when he saw her he was able to recognise her even in her twisted state. So when the soldiers gunned her down in front of him and fed him some lies about this not being his daughter, he just completely snapped. He tried in vain to fight back and take down as many of them as possible in revenge, but well he was just a simple round dad with no ability to fight a government. So he was unceremoniously executed along with his kid and they shoved the bodies back in the lab to continue testing. "Damn that overemotional science dad, he made us execute our most valable test subject! But at least this way we can analyze his corpse to see if the mutation is passed down on the patrilineal side." But at some point during the fight, monster-daughter's blood had splashed on her dad and gotten into his bloodstream. So the seemingly dead body suddenly got up out of the morgue and started sucking people's blood or something. And this led to the current situation where they have him locked up cos he's a valuable test subject but also hey he has 100% reason to kill all of us and we're screwed if he remembers his past. Also i think the computer AI thing was his subconcious attempt to recreate the personality of his daughter even if he couldnt remember she'd ever existed :(

Anyway at some point things escalated and there was this final showdown versus both the invading aliens and the evil governmebt guys. I think there was some corrupt greedy politician dude who stole maddiman's teleporter tech and sold us out to the aliens cos he wanted money and power or something. And probably predictably the aliens just threw him off a bridge after he gave them the thing, because seriously even this evil army thinks these government dudes are too evil!

So this big actiony event was happening and Maddiman was freaking out like 'no no no i cant leave the lab everyone wpuld be mad at me, i dont even know what its like outside this room' even when he was in the middle of being attacked by aliens. He was forced to face his repressed memories to survive, and he naturally had a massive fuckin freakout! And i think maybe when protagonist character was trying to protect him he accidentally lashed out with his powers and hurt them, and he was so horrified thinking another person he cared about was gonna die because of him. Protagonist was like 'dont worry gramps its just a scratch' but he'd already freaked out and run away into the battlefield to his heavily implied death.

BUT THEN at some sort of moment of dire need, he came back all powered up and re-memoried and was like 'i have every reason to despise humanity but im not gonna let more children die because of these damn corporate monsters (and also literal monsters which are infinately less scary)" And he did some sort of great sacrifice to save the protagonist at the cost of his own life, and it was super dramatic falling from a building into a lake of fire or something. While sobbing and smiling peacefully thinkibg "did i atone for my sins? Will i be able to see my family again?" As his smiling face sunk beneath the flames and the protagonist cried out into the abyss...

Aaaaand then i dont really know what happened in the big battle and i also never found out wtf the solution was to fixing the transporter thing or how the aliens invaded or any of the million plot points that were non gramp related.

I just remember that when we all saved the day and defeated the baddies we found that maddiman had actually survived and it was a big hugs reunion. He was like "OH YEAH i totally forgot i literally already died once and regenerated from it, and this was the entire start to my story. My bad!" *shrugs inexplicably not dead arms*

So yeah in summary im glad my brain summoned up a universe where my favourite sad granddad is literally immortal now, but also why did it torment him with an even sadder plot than his original one

[theskyexists]

 a few strange things to the new batman:

if annika lived with catwoman then why couldn’t she have stolen the passport back for her sooner (maybe annika didn’t dare tell?) (why doesn’t penguin know annika is dead in his car? or was that a lie?)

batman just caused the fiery deaths of at least 3 truckdrivers

some really fun things about the new batman:

catwoman looks like she should - short hair, and even the heels are almost sensible

rp does a good job. he looks good in the mask too. and outside it isn’t too bad either.

it doesnt feel frustrating - because....well

they keep saying: bruce you could be helping the city with your money not with this shit i.e. him running around on a wild goose chase - the point IS going to be that it’s not doing real good

they are implying that his father (just like that other boy’s father) was as corrupt as all these cops and he was the cause of all thisl

the system itself is completely corrupt. the cops’ disdain for batman feels natural because they have violent disdain for everyone

batman being a puzzle piece in the riddler’s game actually doesn’t feel bad because his victims aren’t innocent but perpetuating a deeply unjust society

the bat sign is sat LITERALLY on the unbuilt social housing that the wayne renewal fund should have realised

livebloggin:

A DAWN at about the midpoint of the story. very romantic

but now....

the riddler is mad about how thomas wayne had a reporter shot? wasn’t he wrapped up in more than that? ah i think they pulled the fucking punch by saying that thomas wayne was a good man after all

why not simply shoot him right now catwoman?

batman won’t kill the dirty cop partly responsible for a girl’s murder, but he will kill five truck drivers

why would he publish that?? that puts catwoman’s life at risk!!!!

SHE MISSED?????? SHE FUCKING MISSED???? this movie is going off the deep end FAST

‘muh muhmuh you shouldnt kill or you become them’

she’s clearly used to killing and she ISN’T them so that philosophy has already been disproven!!!

how is this movie THREE HOURS. THATS WHY IT FEELS SO LONG

batman’s body armour is so advanced that he can take 30 bullets from an assault rifle from 1 metre distance and not break ribs

i am starting to dislik where the storyline for catwoman is going

‘you dont have to pay with him, you’ve paid enough’

idk - im not sure shes the kind of woman who’d be super tortured over killing the murderer of her mother and best friend both. just kill him

oh there are actually lots of cops that are good actually! right

so the riddler waited for batman to literally bring carmine out of his club to snipe him. did the guy never leave his goddamn club

do love how they tie that stupid intro at the start together - the riddler did indeed do the same as batman, fear and focused violence. only he didn’t beat up the poor and criminal, he killed the rich and corrupt.

i thought they were gonna make batman likeable but he’s going down in likability

can’t control himself. and he’s not smart enough.after all. ok he’s smart again.

oh i like how they keep insisting on how ‘the batman’ created his nemesis.because his methods are shit. 

some shit things about the batman:

so what you’re saying is that the whole city flooded and the last remaining people who survived in this damn arena are now dying as well???

that self-sacrifice kind of didn’t have the oomf it should because uh. bad timing, no theme, and also it wasn’t .

that ending was weak as fuck.

why would catwoman only take ONE cat with her?????