#im gonna end up Posting about this for real i cant believe this is who i am right now

[jingyismom]

undead boy with "UNMARRIED" on his gravestone makes sure to put "BELOVED WIFE" on his girl's gravestone even though he knows she won't be in the ground for long

[strawberrymatchawhore]

7

exbf!jungkook x exgf!reader

“you wrap around me and you give me life… and that's why night after night i'll be lovin' you right”

summary- after seven long years of the breakup between you and jungkook, he randomly decides to show up and tries to prove that hes really a changed man.

warning/s- DUBCON. rough sex under the influence (both sides), hesitant y/n, choking, fingering, messy sex, lovebomb/confession, nutting inside (a/n also sorry for not posting for a while n this was kinda rushed soo i do apologize in advance LMAOOO)

you loudly groaned and smacked your hand around the couch to look for your phone, who the hell calls at this hour ? you took a hit of the joint youve been smoking for the past few minutes and then clicked the answer button.

“hello ??” you lazily say and roll your eyes and take another hit.

spam callers are so fucking annoying.

“y/n…” the voice says, it was deep and husky… even almost sounding like..

“huh ?!!! jungkook ??” the call abruptly ends until a loud knock can be heard from your front door. you get up confused and take a peak through the window and see your ex boyfriend leaning against the porch chair.

fuck what now

you open the door and take a second to figure out what to say.

“what are you doing here ?” you said in a monotone voice, trying to hide your interest as to why he decided to show up after so long.

“i need to talk to you y/n.. please.” he slurs gently pushing you aside to go inside your house, the smell of alcohol and expensive cologne accumulating from his body.

“jungkook..” you tried slowing his pace down and pushing his chest but he wouldnt budge.

“jungkook !! you cant just randomly show up to my house like this and expect me to welcome you with open arms !!” you dragged him to the couch and made him sit down you stood in front of him and examined his state.

“y/n you smoke now ?” he picked up the joint and tossed it back down.

“yeah that doesnt matter right now, why are you here ?”

“look.. i just wanted to say.. i just wanted to say that im sorry for everything that ive done to you in the past. i know words cant fix the damage ive done but after all this time i never forgot about you and i realized all of my faults.. i really really have changed for the better, and i hope you can let me back into your life again y/n.” he slurred, it was almost funny how desperate he sounded. like the roles of the past were now reversed.

you tilted your head, jungkook was never one to own up to his mistakes or even apologize. the sinking feeling in your stomach rises when he briefly mentions the past. but even drunk, maybe he really has changed. it has been 7 years. you stood in silence as jungkook made himself at home on your couch.

“look jungkook, its been a while im gonna have to think about it. and youre drunk, just lay there and i’ll get you some water. you can spend the night.” you softly said, damn it. he was good.

he nodded in response and you went to the kitchen to get water and meds, this also gave you time to collect your thoughts. you said you would think about forgiving him but could you really believe that he’s changed after the relationship you were in with him all those years ago ?

you put the stuff for him on the coffee table and sit down near him, trying to keep a distance. closing your eyes and opening slowly feeling the high more. you look over to jungkook and laugh. this didnt feel real at all.

he then sits up and scoots closer to you, leaning his body onto yours. his mouth was now near your ear and you could feel his hands gently massage your waist. he pulls you to his lap and you let out a low gasp from the sudden movement.

“jungkook. we really shouldnt be doing this…” you say using his thighs to try to get up. the grip he has on your waist tightens, almost bruising even. you wince and move around his lap more to try to get free.

“what do you mean ?” he lowly says he keeps one hand on your waist and massages it his other hand makes it way up to your neck and squeezes.

“you’re basically grinding on me.” he chuckled, you could feel his bulge pressing against you. you whine and dont respond. only the music playing from your tv could be heard. what situation did you just get yourself into ? he lets go and his hand slides down to your pj shorts touching the wet spot on your panties.

“s-stop.” you moan, sounding extremely unconvincing. the both of you knew that you were just saying bullshit, your legs basically open wider for him to continue further. his pushed your panties to the side and gently rubs your clit, and teases it before dipping a finger into your pussy.

“you sure you want me to stop ?” he adds another finger and speeds up, his palm stimulating your clit. you moan and grab his hand.

“…your pussy is just so fucking wet.” jungkook whispered in your ear. you know you shouldnt be enjoying this but you honestly missed him and wanted more. not that you would admit it. even though he most definitely knows by now.

“fu- all f’ you.” you mewl biting your lip, it felt too good.

“yeah all f’ me ? does it feel good baby ?” he teases nibbling your ear. you moan incoherent words and close your eyes.

“course it does just listen to how youre taking my fingers.” you could hear the wet slick sounds of his long skinny fingers going in and out of your pussy. his rings adding more to the package. you could feel yourself about to cum and jungkook slows down.

“you gonna cum ?” you whine and nod yes grinding on his hands to try to get back the lost stimulation. he removes his fingers from you and roughly shoved them into your mouth, you automatically suck and swirl you tongue them licking them clean of your juices. seems like you still have some muscle memory.

he guides you off his lap and maneuvers you face down ass up. giving him a full view of your ass, he gives a few hard smacks before you feel him move his tip up and down your pussy. already antsy and wanting more, you try to reach back and put it in yourself but he grabs your arms and pins them to your back, forcing you to arch it even more.

“uh uh youre not allowed to touch, just lay there and be a pretty little thing for me.” he says before pushing his dick inside of you. your mouth opens into a silent o and you push your hip against his.

“ah-h feels so good kookie.” jungkook leans forwards and uses your arms to thrust faster and harder. your ass bounces from the force.

“fucking missed this pussy.. missed you. ah- fuc-” he breathily whimpers, your moans synching with his.

“youre the only one that makes me feel like im enough and i- fuckkk- im sorry.. oh my- god.” he rambles and moans completely pussydrunk, your cream forming rings at the base of his cock. disappearing and reappearing with his thrusts. he lets go of you and rest his hands on your hips, guiding them towards his big cock.

“you got nothing to say y/n ?” he mocks knowing that youre fucked out, your head rests on the couch cushion and drool covers your chin. you could only moan in response, tears filled your eyes as you felt yourself about to cum.

“no-gonna cum ahh!” your eyes squeeze shut and you grip the couch, your body starts to shake and you expect jungkook to slow down. but no, this man is evil. in fact he speeds up and fucks you through your orgasm.

“jungkook.. jungkook thats too much !!” you whine and reach back to push on his abs. but he chuckles and grabs your arms again. lifting you up against his chest with one arm. the other wipes your tears and rests against your neck.

“gonna fill you up nice n deep.. wanna see that shit leaking from your tight pussy.” he squeezes your neck, if his arms werent holding you up. youd fall right down, the pleasure he was giving you was intense. he was fucking you stupid.

“fuck jungkook, please cum inside please please.” you could feel your second orgasm come when jungkooks first arrives with it. his thrusts gets sloppy but he tried keeping his pace. you were met with a warm sticky feeling inside you when jungkook gently lets you go.

“so pretty all filled up with my cum baby.” he coos and drags his leaking cum back inside you with his fingers. you whined from the overstimulation and he laughed in response. making sure all of it went back inside you, he leans next to your figure and brings you into the little spoon position.

“i love you so much y/n i promise to never hurt you again.” he kisses the top of your head and cuddles into you tighter. you dont respond and just lay back feeling your high come down. this was gonna be a long and hard night of thinking, who the fuck did you let back into your life ?

[littlecrittereli]

YOU CANT JUST POST A CHAPTER LIKE THIS AND JUST- ENDED IT LJKE THAT???? WHAT KIND OF CLIFHANGER IS THAT- I AM DYING- HOW AM I GONNA WAIT FOR A FULL WEEK UNTILL THE NEXT CHAPTER SHEJDJZKEJ-

Fr tho i loved this so much thank you and i can see why u liked it alot like when i tell u i imagined everything in great detail like it was the coolest movie ever in my head i freaking did like omg that was one of my favourite chapters in like all of au-

On a second note imma gonna drop my speculations here bcuz i fr wanna yap abt this cuz its just too good i gotta get it outta ny system lol do ignore it since its not imp

So since the 2 figures that talked/made eye contact w martin and aviva has a mask that resembles other wild cats they r working with big d over here im guessing they are either passed out/ been kidnapped by force (for martin in guessing he got drugged) it would be kinda ironic how the falcon that should be aware of everything beside him got drugged. now i think Dora's cousin took those too specifically is 1 aviva is the master mind he can get her(by force obv) to make those prototypes real for martin i think he took him outta revenge since our boy is who threw him out of a plane and he is prolly gonna torture him or hold him hostage untill chris has no more fight than him and finally surrenders or just a cruel joke as chris already has no regard for his life so he took what made him still believe theres hope still just to let him know whos in control bcus this guy has no mercy at all or maybe jimmy comes up clutch and either get chris not to fall somehow or find where aviva and martin are.

AHHHH IM SO GLAD!!!! I HAVE BEEN LOSING MY MIND OVER CHAPTER 7 FOR LIKE 4 WEEKS NOW......and im so glad i finally get to share it beCAUSE SO MUCH CHANGES FOR THE PLOT AND I FINALLY GET TO TALK ABOUT IT HEHEHE Also yes the irony of Martin and his falcon suit... Though I've been hinting since the summary of the fic, (actually long before that, since the beginning of Reprogrammed) but really emphasizing it in Decoded, that Martin has some issues when it comes to taking care of himself. While Chris' complete lack of self preservation is a recent development, Martin's has been taking root since childhood and as such isn't as noticeable. He's the oldest sibling, he's the team leader, he prioritizes others above himself because it's all he's ever known. And while there's nothing inherently wrong with that, he takes it to the extreme and becomes neglectful of himself.

And with Chris needing more support than usual, Martin's self-neglect is becoming more apparent...

I would also like to take this moment to point out ahem... Martin never broke his promise.

Martin squeezed his shoulder before letting go. “He won’t be taking you anywhere, I promise.”  Chris took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before fixing the green gazelle mask over his face. “I trust you.” 

-Decoded Chapter 6

[scuderiadream]

keeping tabs ( smau )

꒰ singer!reader x lando norris ꒱

𖧧 summary : this takes place during the aftermath of the reader and lando’s failed relationship, lando have this regret and frustration feeling inside him as he struggles to let go of his past relationship

𖧧 faceclaim : nicole zefanya (niki)

𖧧 author note : hi hellu, sorry for the late late post for the 2nd part! i got very very sick to the point where i cant write anything :( anyways, i got a bit better now which is a good news and this is the 2nd part of the previous au! and yes this is inspired by niki’s keeping tabs hehe😚 please enjoy <333

part 1 | tags: @ironmaiden1313 @whoreks @minkyungseokie @iamahallucinationnn

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liked by lnfour, username and 595,041 others

landonorris close, but its on me. i messed it up today. sorry

view all 4,980 comments

username we are so proud of you 🫶

username it’s not your fault!! we love you!

username heads up lando!! ❤️

username we believe in you 🥹

username LANDO WE CAN BE WORLD CHAMPION🥲

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liked by landonorris, username and 16,432 others

deuxmoi yn and mysterious man (possibly someone famous?) spotted for the first time ever hanging out around new-york city yesterday

view all 5,823 comments

username she looks so adorable

username hold on why did lando liked this?

↳ username RIGHT??? IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICED THIS RIGHT???

username um? lando? what are you doing here?

username ?????? LANDO???????

↳ username bro got caught in 4k 🤨📸

↳ username hes never gonna beat the allegations isnt he..

liked by honeymoon, oliviarodrigo and 469,448 others

yourusername i wish i never met u

view all 3,927 comments

username caption SO real

maisiehpeters love love the dress!

liked by yourusername

username mother, who were you with yesterday? 🤨🤨🤨🤨

↳ username yes we need to know asap.

username 4+4=

username hmm wonder whos the caption about🤨🤨🤨

↳ username what if its lando??????

↳ username or that mysterious guy????

↳ username i guess we’ll never know😪

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lando knew he couldn’t let go of his past relationship so he ended up spending most of his time alone in his own apartment, sometimes he feels as if he’s isolating himself, stalking over yn’s social media until he feels the knots in his stomach. often times he would watch her instagram story of her having fun with her friends, either partying or hanging out and he would watch it with sorrow in his eyes. he always blame himself for being the one who left her without saying goodbye, he ball a fist and die inside every-time she’s happy with someone else other than him. he always keeping tabs for some stupid reason. he wanted to text her saying that he missed her but he knows she wouldn’t say anything back. meanwhile, yn always wished him well and wished him far away, at all time she’s glad their paths never cross again.

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© credits to pinterest for the pics .

[sunnychuuya]

Time for my now nightly sally face vomit the one thing I dislike about this game so far is its lack of a save button

GUYS WHAT THE FLIP THIS IS SO FSR BACK ITS JUST AFTER I GOT THE CROWBAR WHAT

TIME TO SPEEDRUNNN

-6 minutes 34.94 seconds to get back to chapter five okay time to look up a tutorial..

-what the fuck. It was t h a t e a s y?? IT CAN BE COMPLETED IN LESS THAN 15 SECONDS?! IM ENDING IT ALL WTH

-didn't mention this before but I love the detail of the gear boy screen being scratched

-this is definitely foreshadowing

Hey guys look how much more coherent I am when I have the light off and am not on a fucking terrifying part

-well thats..creepy.

-WHY DOES THE DUDE IN CHAPTWR 7 MOCW SO SPEEDY I CANT XONTROL HIM

-Holt ahit the whole screen going black scared me so bad

-OB THATS A CORPSW

TGATS A FUCKING CORPSE

THAT IS A DEAD MAN

OH LORD

-WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID HE PEEL OPEN LIKE A BANANA THIS RED EYED DEMON EBETTER GET THE FUCK AWAY BEGONE HOE

-yea guys maybe yall should fucking move cuz that shit is terrifying leave before you all fucking die

-NOOO

LaRYS CRHING

BABY NOOOOO

-Ok I mean like it does sound like bullshit so u can't rlly blame him for not believing sal..

-fuck wait if the tree house has proof what traumatizing shit happens there later why can't a tree house ever just be silly

-the apartments were abandoned huh..

-why am I playing as m a n

Agreed

I mean I don't rlly know what sal did except kill someone but all the fanarts I see of him post killing someone say "I had no choice" in the background and he doesn't seem like the dude to just go and murder someone

Maybe I just rlly like sal lmao

-LARRY FUCKING DIED?!

GUYS WHAT

I SAID HE WAS THE ONE FUCKING CHARCAYER WHO COUDLTNEE DIE

NO

NO

WHAT

WHY

WHY

THIS IS CRUEL

FUCK THIS GAME

No

DELETING RN

WHAT THE FYCK

-Why did Enon just die wth

-seeing a ghost take the form of Larry made me scream like not even joking I'm bawling my eyes out whay the fuck

-wait pookies this hopefully is not true and I don't see any reason in why it would be true of it is true I'm gonna find the nearest cliff but like sal murders someone and laryr is dead ...

....

No right that's not right it can't be they're bestie bros

Also it wouldn't make sense cuz Larry's tryna help sal

BUT HOW THE FUCK DID HE DIE THEN? one of my friends is being sus about it

-

I know I haven't met Travis but I've developed an attachment to him bc of the fan content I've seen

-WHY DID ENON FUCKING DIE

Thats low-key sus

Thats really sus actuslly

Right as Enon is like finding out about smth he dies

Hmmm

-"white room eht ni em dnif. Ouy dlot I tahw tegrof t'nod" thanks I understand that

OHCEAIT ITS BACKWARDS

Dont forget what I told you. Find me in the white room.

HUH ??

GUYS am I forgetting smth or is this sposed to be mysterious

Omori ass shit

-oh it's the ghosty thing

-am I stupid I csnt even kinds decipher what should be in the blanks half the time

Bad example. But sad!

Okay but run only has three letters what

OH IS IT AN ! ?

Yes I'm smart

OH FUCK

that scared me so fucking bad my vision low-key blacked out for a second I'm in the dark again lmao

-SAL NO?? FUCKING GET A LAWYER DIPSHIT??

-sal I love you but for the love of God (okay thst might not be a great thing to say from the foreshadowing we've been getting lol) fucking at least try to win the case

-WHAT NO FUCKING DEFENS UR SELF DONT JUST SAY "I wouldn't be surprised" UGH

-oh someone told me j would be scared of bologna bc of this game

-"ugh" dude pls

Yoo I'm finally gonna get rhe lore..

Im scared!

-Mr dood El is so real

-SHUT UP THIS IS SO COOL AND CREATIVD

-THIS GAME IS AMAZING!!

-"Hello are you okay" *demonic garbling* fucking mood

-"now please leave us alone your head will frighten the children" LMAOKK

-okay so the truth stuff is sus obviously

-y aren't circle heads normal :(

-"Hello are yiu the great beast" "well, fuck you too friend." Teehee

-ik this is prolly gonna be some like deep foreshadowing but it's just this is so cool and funny?

-on the side of the fortune teller it looks like it says gae instead of green

-WHY WAS THAT PART UNIRONICALLY SO GOOD

-makes me kinda scared for late game tho!

-math class sleep >> all other sleep

LETS FUCKING GO GUYS LETS FUCKING GO ITS TRVAIS YES STUPID UGLY BOY IVE BEEN WAITING

-"nobody likes a cliche bully traaavis" SAL ILY SM

-"yk if you took that stick out of ur ass you may actually enjoy yourself for once." DAMNNNN

-travis you hoe 😔

Bro ik this is like sposed to be serious but why was the panel kf travis punching sal so fucking funny to me

-but like sal ik you don't know but maybe don't talk about travis dad

-ASH DONT KUST FUCKING TAKE OFF THE PROSTETHIC IN THE MIDDLE OF A FUCKING HALLWAY WITHOUT EVEN ASKING ??

Like j appreciate u trying to help but not the best move-

-larry.. how good.. to see you.. alive.. *sobbing*

-ash the ghosts are fucjing real stfu

-yea sal his dad is shit but like it doesn't rlly excuse it all idk

-mk yup there's smth up with the bologna

I hate that word it's not even close to how it's pronounced

-wtf is the hot dog incident???

Made with dog??

-"You're lucky it's bologna day" that is such a fucking sentence 💀

-"i don't know if this town has room for another conspiracy theory" there's prolly gonna be like 17 more this game

-I got a paperclip! And then I look at it and it says "I can use this paper clip to get into my friends lockers" lmal

-WHAT THE FUCK NO SAL UR SO WEONG PHYSICS IS THE WORSE?! ITS THE ONLT SCIENCE CLASS IVE EVER TAKEN THAT I DISLIKED

-oh yea how old r they rn r they still freshman ? Assuming so

-sal is so short god

-this is completely unrelated to sallt face but chat my leg is bleeding and it reallt burns uhh ow

It might be bc there's alcohol marjer in it but that's from a day ago so idk

-THWRWS CANONICAL GAY

OMFG

LETS GO

i mean ik sla is canonically bi but when there's a gay relationship in canon it's so happy okay

wait through the past two years

What is their age in ep 3

Like someone pls answer this

-wait

Im trying to figure it out

They said if they killed Travis they'd have to deal with him for two years

Indicating two years of hs left

Okay

Ig thar makes sense

Im a liar I don't understand

-i wish u could runnnnnnn ahhhhhh

-"you butt nozzle" wtf does this mean

-actusllt maybe I shouldn't say I wish u could run bc the thing that happened earlier.. haha..

-yall that's sus why r there so many missing posters

-where am I sposed to be going ahh

-the textbook in Larry's locker is labeled "generic textbook" lmao

-mmm that's sus home made by a teacher.. nah..

-?? Travis is gone

-THE NOTE?? OKAY I HEARS TRAVIS HAD LEFT A NOTE IN THE BATHROOM BUT LIKE I DIDNT KNK THE CONTENTS

OwwWW

THAT HURTS MY HEART :<

-BE GAY MY SILLY BOY KILL UR DAD !!

-bruh gods whole thing is loving everyone stop being homophobuc

-"yk we aren't all actually gay, right? I mean besides forTodd. Todd is super gay." Good for Todd

-okay I have to go through all the dialog options

-"says the boy who hides behind a mask! Get lost, you mutant!" OUCHIE :<

-can I murder kenneth.. he shot sal and his mom.. and is la shitty dad to travis.. :/

..!

-HE SAID SORRGY

-empty envelope..

Could

The note be from there

Hemmmmmmmmmmmm

-HES TEYING TO BE NICER WTH

-WAIT FUCK

THAT MEANS I DONT GET TO EXPERIENCE SOME OF THE DIOLAOGUES

FUCKING SHIT BALLS

-MRS PACKERTON LIVES IN THE APARTMENTS

WE KNOW WHO LVIES IN MOST IF NOR ALL OF THEM

EXCEPT FOR 201

QHICH HAS HAD SUSPICIOUS NOISES SINCE EPISODE ONE

SUSSSS

-i hate puzzles how am I sposed to know what the lock is

-NEVERMIND GOT IT IN LESS THAN 2 MINUTES IM FUCKING GOD

-sally has mental I'll

-me when uiuruy.rhoheitnruy.a,drwitoflsuynbusmo

-okay guys wrf was that cuz they're acting like it's a reoccurring thing

-ik is not that but dehydration rlly is a bitch

-im so on edge like it went into the bathroom and we saw gizmo qnd it had a record scratch sound and I jumped

-wow our dad actually says he'll do smrh with us soon.. shocker 😐

-oh ow that's sad but sals dad u bitch u fuckin got rid of photos of sals mom??? I like get ur also affected but be a better dad jeez

-welcom to windom guys

-time to try to geuss the password

-I DID IT IM FUCKINT AMAZING

GUYS WHY DID IT BREK

HES GONNA KILL ME SHIT

-y r there empty letters randomly appearing eith my name that's sus!!

-Robert slays

-yo we can enter 403 now shouldn't they have fixed the doorframe by now tho lmao

-whyis she talking out her neck god I'm gonna vomit the sound effects are Not Neesxcaru

-I feel like that red eyed demon ain't really gone.

-it's 1:06 am have mercy on my orbs pls

-these letters r confusing

-samn what r Todd's parents on 💀

-did sal jusr say "good lord" beuh

-im scared.

-theres a lock on the freezer fuck fuck fuck

-okay. Ifs creepy, but at least it'd just a goat head. Could be worse. Could be human

Waych me end up regretting these words..

-she has a weird obsession with pi huh

-greem stuff in the tub

-whay am I sposed to do while waiting 4 Larry

-GUYS IM NOT GONNA FUCKING BE STUCK AGAIN

IVE SEARCHED THE WHOLE PLACE WITJ THE GEAR BOY SND CLICKED ON EVERY INTERACTIVE THING

RAGHHN

I feel like there's a possibility the thing we found in her desk could be used to open the door but it'd not letting me

-clock puzzle..

-I did it

WHAT THE FUCK

-GUYS WHAT THE HELL

-yall I just killed a dude don't feel great about that haha...

-FYCK SHES BACK FUCKR FUSJDK

-"if we don't make it out alive.. I.. I love you dude"

-THE THE THE THE WAY THE WAY THE WAY ME WHEN THE WAY SAL IS HOLDING HIS PIGTALS

-it's just ash fuckign great what the hell

-"damn." Valid reaction ngl like what r u sposed to say to thar

-OH MY DUCKING GOD ARE THE MISSING POSTETS PEOPLE SHES MADE INTO BOLGIANEN

ANITHER FUCKIJG LOCK IN NOTNINCTHE MENTAL STATE FOR THIS RN

-this isn't very girlypop core

-ngl just googled the lock combo bc I'm uncomfy rn and don't feel like puzzles

-OH THATS A SHIT TON OF HUMAN CORPSES

WHY

Why

WAS THIS NECCASARU

-YEA LARRY I DONT BLAME YOU FOR THROWING UP I AM REALLT NEAR THERE MYSELF AND IM JUST SEEING IT THROUGH A SCREEN

-GUYS FUCKIJG MOVE OUT OF THESE APARTMENTS

-SAL IM FINE IF YOU STOP TELLING IT THERE OKAY OKAY CAN WE FUCKING NOT

DOES THIS MEAN LIKE EVERYONE AT THEIR SCHOOL EXCEPT I think her name was Megan IS A FUCKING CANNIBAL

IM SCARED GUYS

WHY IS TODD IN THE HOSPITAL

I MEAN IG AT LEAST HES ALIVE ??

-please don't go down the trash chute.

-welp she's dead okay Larry let's go!

Please.

-SAL FUCKING DONT ILL

FUCK NO

-IDK IFNIM SPOSED TO BE EABLE TO DECIPHER THESE MESAGES

-ripped carpet

-DONT FUCKING GO IN THERE

-wtf

-WHAT THE HELLLL

WHAT THE GENUINE FUCK DOODLES

-"whelp this looks bad" I love Larry

OH MY GOD TODD IM AN ARCHITECHTURE NERD TOO BUT PLEASE THSTS NOT IMPORTANT RN

-SHUT UP THIS IS DROM THE GEAR BOY GAME WITH WITH THE DEVOTEURDS OF GOD SHIT RAGHH

-THW RED EYED DEMON ISNT DEAD OKAY

-"it's a good thing thr cult isn't around anymore.. the demon too" YA JUST FUCKIN JINXED IT THEYRE GONNA KILL YA SAL

-qere gonna die were gonna die were all gonna die oh god oh fuck

-DONT SPLIT UP ARE YOU DUMB?!

-why do these things always happen to me?" Idk why I thought if schooby doo

-IM LARRGY OMG

Wait he doesn't die here does he.

-great gonna be here for 7 hours

-no im not looking up a tutorial Ur looking up a tutorial

-

Me when

I made itty

Qalk around in circles and you'll figure it out cool

-YOO IM SAL AHAIN

ANOTHET FCCKING PUZZLE KYS

-yipee I have to have a tutorial for sal too. End me.

-gwuss who's bleeding again! Different spot this time closer to my ankle

-following a tutorial

-does exactly what it says

-doesn't work

-runs around in rage and despair

-it fucking worked

Making a second part to this cuz my phones trying to die ill rb when thr other is finish

@mypinterestgotbannedsoimherenow

[pumpkinpartynoelle]

official catti post

recent events with our noelle have got me thinking, this is kinda just a late night ramble but whatever its a deltarune theory technically so im putting on on noelle's blog

since a lot of what seems to endear canon noelle to susie is the mystery and sense of danger, if they ever did end up in a steady relationship, just the two of them, i genuinely think noelle would be the first to fall out of love once she realises shes put this poor dragon girl up on a pedestal that she, and realistically, no one, could safely live up to, and the end result is at best underwhelming

i think it could potentially work as part of a polycule including kris and myself, might be stable then, but if noelle is relying on just susie, who she has this obsession with and has placed so much importance on, to meet all her needs in a relationship, i dont think its gonna happen, plus i feel like kris and i would give her more of that mystery and scare factor long term that susie wouldnt be able to once they get to know each other better, scary seems to be more of susie's mask than anything and in a real healthy relationship that mask wouldnt show as much

i dont think theyd end up disliking each other or anything, or at least susie wouldn't dislike noelle, but i cant help but think if noelle actually ended up with susie shed be feeling great for a little while and then quickly end up sliding into disappointment until one of them broke it off

especially since i worry shes latched so heavily onto susie because she doesnt feel like she can have an open and honest relationship with her mother, she doesnt have her sister, and her dad is just one guy and potentially soon to be no guys, so shes pinning all her hopes on "yes susie will fix me" even though that aint happenin

what this girl needs is a more solid and diverse support network other just me sometimes, and maybe jockington, i.e. the exact opposite of the weird route

i guess berdly is kinda there but the nature of their relationship is partially transactional whether either of them like that or not. and with her dad its almost the same, like yeah rudy genuinely cares about her, but also he's her dad, that's supposed to be a given, so it arguably counts for less, and given how much everyone is obviously still hurt by the loss of dess, noelle might see it as more forced than it actually is. it could be argued that noelle has no one in her life who's truly there for her unconditionally, or at least that she has grounds to believe that

our noelle is still pretty susie-obsessed, but it's nice to see her develop a lot more interests the longer she stays active, like making her deltarune theories. i hope getting our discord account hacked wont have put too much of a long term damper on things, girl needs to be able to chill

[ariel26c]

im applying the law, but instead of the feeling of success that everyone else gets i feel panicked. the 'feeling' people usually get when they're in the wish fulfilled state, the feeling of accepting it and it being real—im not getting that. i dont see a clear picture when i visualize. every time i try to, i end up breaking down and feeling like a failure... but I'm still trying to go on because why is it that the people who hurt me and practically ruined my life get to live successfully, while i suffer? thats not fair... i promised myself that if i could just get 3 Bs, ill turn my life around and work really hard... but is it over for me? i want to win, im trying to, but im scared

im trying my best to visualize myself getting 3 Bs, reenacting my friends faces when i get the results, praying to God and thanking Him for blessing me and continuing to bless me, but there is this fear still lingering at the back of my mind... i feel like I'm not doing it right. i have like one day left and I'm so nervous. im going over posts, tweets, and every time I feel a little better, it all comes crashing down because of doubts. theres only one thing one my mind right now: 'how am I gonna turn it around in one day?' i know that the 3D does not matter and that everything is done in imagination, but here i feel like its not done in imagination either

right now nothings clicking in my head, whatever i read is getting scrambled in my mind, i feel so lost and empty. could u please tell me what to do in this specific situation? u can be as harsh as you want if that's what's needed to get the point across. im really sorry for the bother and id be really grateful if u could please help out, ive never been this desperate before... my life cant be over before it even started

Babe don’t stress yourself out. If you don’t like visualizing then don’t do it. Do what you wanna do not what others are doing. You don’t need to visualize perfectly anyway. I think most people don’t visualize in perfect detail. Make your own method if you enjoy doing methods.

Create your own rules for manifestation because as long as you persist that’s what matters. Feeling isn’t that important. I know some say feeling like it’s yours is necessary to manifest but it’s not. Don’t worry about not feeling the feelings and simply persist. Also stop trying and simply be. Choose to be a winner in life. Choose to be successful. Choose that you live life on easy mode.

Thinking as if you were the best version of yourself. You are so powerful that you could literally have anything. What others have done to you simply needs to be let go and focus on the now because now is when you’ll get to love your dreams. You’ll live a better life than all those losers who hurt you. Doubts hold no power over your manifestations. Accept them and move on. It’s done because you say so. Period. It’s okay to not believe.

Stop searching for posts if you’re not apply what you’re learning. It’s pointless to scroll and scroll and search if you’re not even trying. You can do this my love. No matter how you feel or how many doubts you have you are still God at the end of the day. What you want you can have if you simply allowed yourself to have it.

In other words:

1. Doubts don’t matter.

2. You don’t need to feel it real.

3. You don’t need to believe.

4. What you’ve gone through in your past doesn’t matter because there is now.

5. If other people can experience happiness and get what they want then so can you.

6. Don’t worry about doing things perfectly. Visualize but if it stresses you out don’t do it. Make it easy for yourself by doing what you wanna do.

7. Simply persisting is all it takes.

[dollivication]

hii its.. its me again..

so.. priest!v.. but hes actually a sorcerer not a real priest and thats js a cover:3 He comes to town looking for a virgin for one of his sacrifices or sum

the church absolutely loves him!! they have no idea of his true nature, they js think hes their holy priest and they admire him for that Hes pretty much their prophet:( hes js a very good actor:( kinda like the fortuna cult in dmc4 skkfkejr

he finds nun!user on the church once and hes like.. absolutely sure that theyre the chosen one for his sacrifice!! theyre js too pretty, theyll be perfect for it:333 so he uses his status as a very trusted and respected priest to manipulate user into trusting him by lovebombing them, telling them theyre special, that theyre the chosen ones (he js doesnt tell what theyre being chosen for lol) and user falls right into the trap bc how can they not? thats the most respected priest their church have!! ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;) 

so he takes them to a forest or sum empty place to finally accomplish his whole mission:3 by the very end when hes ready to perform the sacrifice— he js cant bring himself to actually do it:( he realizes that he became wayyy to infactuated w user to let them go js like that:(

but now user knows his true nature so he needs to act fast!! he ends up seducing them and once again they js cant say no to him not even when they know thats hes a dirty unholy sorcerer<\\\3 so he DOES take users virginity but not in the way he planed to 🫨🫨

to avoid the backlash or risking anyone ever knowing he js packs his shit and leaves before they even notice his absence. of course hes also taking user w him bc theyre his now duhhh!! Maybe they create their own crazy cult in some new place who knows:3

this ones been tickling my brain i need to scream it to the world omfg im cryingkkdkfkdjf

THIS WAS SO??? THIS HAS ME IN A CHOKEHOLF.. ANON PLWASE IM LITERALLY ON MY KNEES FOR PRIEST/SORCERER!V……. i LOVE YU SAUR MICH??

he’s literally so “perfect”, everyone relies on him and he promises salvation! whats not to trust?? he KNOWS that he’s pretty much got the entire town wrapped around his finger, he’s not ashamed to do some subtle browsing in women! but he’ll get pretty disheartened, some of the women already have children therefore are NOT virgins, and the others have such dirty minds :/ he needs someone PURE!! that’s the only way he believes his sacrifice can be complete.

so when user fits that criteria, best BELIEVE he’s doing everything in his power to lure user in! and because they’re so innocent, and because he’s got a pretty solid reputation, user is swoooooning :3 his touches grow bolder, his praise becomes more personal. even playing his cards right, he can’t help but actually feel something for his little ol user (◞‸◟) they’re just so… unaware of the corruption he can’t help but take a bit of pity

that small amount of sympathy got out of hand quickly.. he just can’t do the sacrifice!! so the next thing he does is ease user into a trance-like state, kissing them all over while whispering about how he was gonna bring heaven to them. user is so confused and squirmy, but he makes do, because it’s sooo cute to see their face scrunch up when he fills them with his seed<3

as soon as post nut clarity hits, he is IMMEDIATELY thinking “ah nah i gotta get tf out of here”. user is so drunk off his touches that they’re terribly compliant with everything he says, even when he tells them they’re gonna run away together someplace new. they trust him, don’t they? then they’ll know that he only means well and knows what’s best for them >.<

bless yu.. SO MUCH ANON!!! this is itching my brain very very nicely… i want him so BAD ITS SO HORRENDOUS

[kewpidity]

Okay So i had a brain blast about my ship with alastor so this is gonna be the Definite Kewpie x Alastor Ship Post that covers everything i have so far about it ↷↷↷

so this whole thing starts because somehow someway i get a demon attached to me as a kid, a toddler even, dont really know how or why, but because of this my whole life growing up is plagued by insane near death experiences all orchestrated by this demon (this is based on some real shit in my life btw, not to sound superstitious or anything and i dont even think i believe in demons of any denomination but there was some Weird Shit going on, i might talk about it someday) and by the time im an adult ive tired everything under the sun to stop these things from happening- different religious practices, spells and charms and rituals and so on and so forth im at my god damn limit im so tired

eventually im pushed to try to fight fire with fire, and end up summoning Another demon to try and idk cancel out the old one? make a deal to keep me safe? not sure What my plan was but i'd come this far and i didnt know where else to turn

well the demon i summoned was alastor. he wasnt even my intended target, in fact of demon of his power shouldnt really be able to be summoned at all under normal circumstances, and would require someone with a ton of power of their own to pull it off (havent decided if this is something i managed to do because of all the varied rituals etc mentioned earlier, or some dumb luck) and that alone is kind of intriguing for him

tbh he hasnt been summoned in a While, its something that got lost to time and he kinda assumed it would never happen again, and even when it happened before he would usually just kill the person without bothering to strike a deal, cause even people who did manage to do it usually werent strong enough to do it safely

but hell has been kinda Boring lately, the hotel hasnt given him as much entertainment as he had hoped (this is like. mid season 1, and with the understanding that the story stretches way longer than the breakneck speed the actual show takes) and he sees this as an opportunity for something interesting to do for a while

when he hears what im looking for, he's gotta laugh about it- there's no way this other demon that had attached to me would give him any trouble, and this was a great way to guarantee he get another soul when i eventually died anyway, so he offers up this deal:

for a few hours a day he gets complete control over my body, a full on possession to do whatever he wants with that time.

obviously im hesitant, but we go back and forth on it a bit before deciding to make the deal with some ground rules (like he cant do anything thats gonna get me killed prematurely for example- after all im doing this specifically so i dont die by another demon's hand)

so we strike the deal! no all he has to do is get rid of that other demon and my soul is as good as his! its not that simple tho of course- he's not sure how the demon is accessing the living world, and figures its likely similar to what he's doing- somehow tethering himself to the living world, while their actual physical body is still in hell, so he needs to figure that out on his end, and it ends up being a more difficult task than previously expected- so he could be dealing with something older and more powerful than he realizes.

he'll figure that out later tho, he's got living stuff to do! at first he's v dismissive when i ask him what he could possibly want to be doing with my body, like what was he even planning to get up to, but he cant keep me completely in the dark about it cause im still sorta There when im possessed- its a bit like lucid dreaming where you're aware that you're dreaming, but not quite aware enough to control what you're Doing in the dream, and over time i become more and more present the longer he's possessing me

so eventually he admits that he's curious about what happened after he died- he was a bit of a celebrity when he was alive after all, he's sure it would cause Quite a stir when it was revealed after he died that he was a criminal- a moonshiner for one, but a serial killer and cannibal! he wants to know if there was a media circus, where he was buried, wants to visit his old stomping grounds, and so on and so forth. this leads me on all kinds of adventures through the deep south, the dusty aisles of libraries and newpaper archives, old graveyards, and so on, all the while we keep getting more comfortable and close despite ourselves

and eventually i realize that he isnt actually interested in what happened to himself after his death, he's actually using all this to try and find out what happened to his mother. she was Not a local celebrity, and his infamy was so large that it eclipsed most of the people he knew in life, so tracking it all down was kind of a hassle. but he was and is a mama's boy, and he wanted to know if she lived a good life

now all of this eventually winds down to figuring out why there was that first demon attached to me, probably some fucked up nonsense a little while back in my family tree or something (tbh im not sure how much i want to focus on the how and why but we'll see) and we get that settled finally as well as finding out how alastor's mom's life played out and put him at east there, and all that's left is to simply live my life until i die, where i'll go to hell and alastor will have my soul to keep (we're v cozy at this point and quite comfortable cohabiting a body and mind space so he's not particularly eager to completely break the tether until my time comes)

and the thing about sharing a mindspace with something extremely dangerous and powerful that has just enough sway over the world around you to keep you safe in a bad situation, or even fully take over your body to get you out of it, is that you feel v confidant most of the time and fear isnt really something you deal with anymore, so i frequently go wandering around the woods at night for example because im sure nothing can really touch me when i have a demon for a companion

a demon in your head cant protect you from a bullet however, and maybe i should have known better than wandering the woods at night during deer season, and maybe the unholy aura i had around me hit the moonlight just wrong and the hunter thought he was aiming for the silhouette of a creature with antlers, and then i was dead

and then i wake up in hell

if this was a fic, at this point it would be like the 'part 2' (and who knows if i iron it out enough maybe i Will write it sometime) and im not sure exactly what i want to do about it just yet obviously it would loosely follow the canon of the show, just with a lot of extra stuff thrown in. maybe in 'part 1', we didnt actually Kill the other demon, just broke away from it, and its still in hell somewhere, fuming about losing my soul, or maybe finding out about his mom actually did Not put alastor at ease- maybe his actions made her life very difficult and now he has to deal with knowing that and i can use that as a catalyst to him getting redeemed to see her again in heaven, not sure yet!

but i do know a big part of the interpersonal situation is that we dont share that mindspace anymore, we're just physically There Together and tbqh its really difficult to cope with. we both got so used to it that we feel like something's missing now, and we might even go so far as to try to find a way to reestablish that mental link, or maybe there's still echoes of it lingering, but only if we're asleep or something like that

like i said, still ironing out the hell part of it all, but thats what ive got! much to think about much to think about

and to add to this- some stray little Thoughts and Ideas to play around with in regards to this story:

while researching alastor's life and 'hunting grounds' we run into a copycat killer, probably someone who has a personal collection of alastor's things, works at a library maybe, who's always dreamed of following in his footsteps, and that decides i should be the first victim since im also sooo interested in alastor's 'work' that i surely wouldnt mind (i do, and so does alastor (he does Not consider imitation as flattery and who tf does this loser think they are coming after something that belongs to him (he's gotten attached)))

i for sure need to come up with more fun and awful little adventures like that

alastor's ability to effect and manipulate the living world around me through his powers alone (so like Not literally using my body for example, this is more like a poltergeist) is stronger when there's radio static playing in the air

going off the idea that the mental link gets stronger and clearer the long it lasts, maybe at sone point it gets so strong that one time when i go to sleep, i 'wake up' in a v similar state as when alastor was first possessing me, that floaty, kinda-lucid-kinda-not, excpet now im hitching a ride in His body in hell and at this point he's so used to having me as a v general and vague presense at the back of his mind that he doesnt even notice at first that im much more clearly and actively There- its a frightening idea for us both when the realization sets cause now we Really gotta face whays going on here and how far its gone

when i get shot by the hunter, alastor is actively co-piloting my body at the time, and since i headcanon he died in a similar fashion (bullet to the head) its like he experienced his own death all over again (something something tied even in our death etc etc) and he sort of 'wakes up' back in his body afterwards and after realizing what happened having to fight the urge to be seen frantically searching the streets for me now that i must be here

considering we Were linked up when i died, and the black mark this whole situation would leave on my soul, my demon form would probably echo his design

how far am i willing to go while alive to achieve our goals- ive definitely been put in situations where i needed to do harm for survival, but would i go further than that, not because i needed to, but because i wanted to? is it alastor's influence or something that i was always capable of? do i indulge in cannibalism? what about after im in hell, what then?

thinking on it, i think Will go with alastor's mom suffering from his life choices, and him having to deal with that, as Well as having to deal with that first demon in 'part 2' to carry over as an overarching plot

maybe we Both get redeemed but we dont actually like it in heaven like its too bright so we fuckin.

act up to get sent back (this is mostly jokey but could you imagine)

[0ystercatcher]

ok now that i have a little time. time to post about my america journey. this ones about restaurants and service work. im sorry in advance but also im not because im objectively Correct.

dear american friends. tipping there is bullshit, retarded, insane, fucked up. restaurant service does not need to be that involved, complicated, annoying or intrusive. yes i understand the us kind of sort of runs on its service economy, yes i understand work is work, yes i understand often its corporate policy and yes i still fucking hated it. there is genuinely no good reason for anyone to be paying 15%+ ON TOP of the actual prices at a restaurant. yes yes i undeerstand the wage issue yes oh all powerful american yes you deserve to be properly compensated for your labors but the way youre also just supposed to accept random customers are the ones who owe you 15%+ MINIMUM (and some places had like an 18% minimum, for real what the fuck) is genuinely crazy to me. im also going to be real min wage in wa for all tipped workers is the normal min wage so you cant even bullshit me w the federal rates or whatever. its a crazy policy. it makes no sense in the vast majority of cases and it makes servers ANNOYING ill get into this also. again yes i understand the reasons people often bring up as to why this is the case but i still simply disagree this is the best way to do this.

also once again sorry. servers are fucking annoying when everyones angling for tips. sorry. i simply do not want to be bothered 5 times while im eating my slop or whatever just to get asked if the food is good or whatever. im eating it just fine brother please just leave me alone. yes im being a cunt yes im getting borderline misanthropic with this but for real i find it crazy, insane, stupid, that people will genuinely respond to this with like. the vaguest arguments about how if you dislike eating out just dont. bc like i dont dislike eating out at all but this particular way of dealing w customers is like. fucking crazy. i want...to just enjoy the meal. this is where i could get into the other thing that deeply annoyed me abt the usa and once again im going to be evil but its the fake nice small talk w cashiers or whatever like look. look. i am not mean in person. i believe treating people who are just doing their jobs in your presence with respect and dignity are absolute necessities and i prommy i am very nice to people when i am consuming products or services. i do in fact, say please and thank you. but bro americans go crazy with it and yes yes corporate policy yes this and that. but oh my god i was sick of it by the end of the trip even if i was also getting better at it. i simply do not think you need to exchange a minimum of 2 unrelated pleasntries to begin any sort of transactional interaction though and again im not opposed to hi, please, thanks, thats obvious and necessary. but to be fucking honest i dont want the beloved talented barista who made me a delicious espresso to ask me if im having a nice day. i dont need it. i dont need to ask it back either this guys just working like what exactly are they gonna say. they dont need to be wasting their time like this. i am there for coffee or whatever the fuck else no offense to them obviously but we all know this is true. so why. why bother. why bother with any of this. the third world does just fine without it. why bother. i think this may have been the thing i disliked the most.

[inventedfangirling]

What goes on inside Pat's head in eps 6/7?

Or what happens when the brain rot takes over.

Alright so without further ado let me get into the fact that i can't believe this is the first time im seriously thinking about it but what the hell must have all been going through Pat's mind during that gap between their first kiss, their bet on the beach and even beyond that up to that post curry-feeding kiss after his dramatic re-entry as Riam?

What was all going through his head? We know he's confused and hurt and frustrated, but he also doesn't want to push too much, but he also wants to know what goes on in Pran's head real bad and then the resolution he gets is that Pran clearly seems to like him too, like a heck of a lot, and his extreme backtracking so far back they cant even have a conversation ironically goes to prove just how much Pran was going though and now they have a bet and on the other end there is a relationship....

....there is a relationship right?

We know pat is sure of his own feelings. He likes pran. He wants to be with Pran. He wholeheartedly wants to go all in. And while he knows Pran likes him back, he knows that pran isn't sure (at that point) if he wants to even go in, let alone ALL in. So then what must have been his mindset while being the goofy boy who was constantly on teasing mode?

What was behind that smiling exterior, because one thing that the usually confident Pat is insecure about is when it comes to Pran and especially given what happened after the kiss, he must have become at least a tiny bit more wary? (Not really though cos we know Pat is a simple straightforward guy, and he knows that nobody not even his Pran can kiss like THAT without feelings, a guy who goes for what he wants and often acts before he thinks but for the sake of my spiral lets pretend) So then behind that exterior what was his best case scenario? They start dating. But what was his worst case scenario cos for pran, we know he chose the worst (in terms of their relationship) way out cos that seemed like the only one until pat refused to leave without talking about it.

But Pat won't make that choice to cut off ties (why the heck would he) and now that Pran is ready for the bet, Pran wouldn't either right? But what if pran decides to call off the bet in between? He wouldn't but what if pat randomly has that thought...in some lonely/ insecure moment what if that is one of the horrifyingly depressing thought he has...what if pran likes him more than everything and even that isnt enough because he just can't bring himself to take that step somehow?

Where does that leave him? Did he even have a backup plan for what would happen if their bet didn't work out? If pran didn't come around? What was he gonna do? Were they going to ignore each other? Not talk anymore? Not play around any more? What if each time he comes to play, underneath all the mischief and fun what if there's that underlying fear of what if it's the last time?

What if it's the last time i'm in his room? What if it's the last time he offers to feed me curry? What if it's the last time I get to help him out with something? What if it's the last time he makes me dinner? What if it's the last time he comes close when i ask him to? What if it's the last time he traces hearts on my face? What if it's the last time i get to touch him? What if it's the last time he looks at me like that?

Are we even comprehending the level of angsty mess Pat could have been that whole time? But he wouldn't be the Pat we (think we) know and love. He loves and he loves loud and he isn't thinking too much beyond their competition and getting Pran comfortable enough to get into a relationship (i could write whole essays about the level of emotional intelligence Pat shows when it comes to Pran especially in episodes 6 & 7, thats not what this is about tho) BUT we all have bad days and negative doom spirals.. who is to say Pat didn't!

Of course it probably wasn't as bad or dramatic as i am making it sound like cos Pran does reciprocate and Pran is not at all attempting to hide (in the same way we see pre episode 6) his feelings for Pat or his investment in the bet but still as long as the bet was on, nothing was set in stone. And also let's not forget just how much it must have hurt when wai came to hand off Pran's guitar. Pran's guitar that Pat had saved and polished and kept safe for him. The one he ran after him, holding. The one he kept safe in his home. His one piece of Pran that he held onto those 3 long depressingly lonely years. And Pran just gave it away to Wai like that? Wai? WAI!??

Look at my poor baby sitting there all alone with his thoughts, his heart breaking little by little and even then staying silent just so that he won't create trouble for Pran. Who is gonna answer for all of that!??? huh?

* Ooh boy and here come those heart squeezes again I CANT DO THIS ARGHHHH *

And despite all that he kept a mostly cheery exterior, trying to keep it fun and light for pran as much as possible?!?

Not all undermining the fact that patpran did have a heck of a lot of fun during their bet era, several essays worth of fun and meanings to unpack but that's not the point of this post

Like i'm sorry but there is simply no better man (boyfriend). But also no cos 1. he's fictional duh, there is NO one like pat irl, he's just an impossible version of a man cos despite all his flaws he really did what he did and 2. its actually not healthy what he's doing is it? Repressing his anxieties and radiating joy, equally bad as repressing joy and radiating anxiety like pran was doing, but (argh to sweep it all under the rug the way i usually do unlike patpran who talk shit though and therefore ofc they ended up happy)...

Because of course despite their anxieties both of them knew they could trust in each other and in their feelings for each other, and yes they built that trust over the years but it also was especially given impetus during the bet era so the bet was eventually going to have only a happy outcome but human brains can be weird and can play tricks on you and i was just thinking of the possibility of a time when pat's brain may have tricked him into a whole spiral and what if the bet wasn't as fun for pat as i initially thought it was and now here we are.

[4mookiecookie20]

ₜₕₒᵤgₕₜₛ ₐₙd fₑₑₗᵢₙgₛ

hello everyone who’s reading! so here’s the thing i kind of stopped writing in my journal because it tires out my hand so bad and i’ve always preferred talking about my feelings or typing them down so that’s what the next bit will be you can skip if you want this is really just for me<3

mental health is such a weird thing and i feel like i should talk more about my struggles with it. so i am diagnosed with bipolar II and i am medicated but i feel like ever since being diagnosed im so hyperaware of the stages im at. i can always feel the shift from depression to mania to leveling out to deep depression and back up to mania again. i of course am over the moon once i realize ive been in a manic state because i just want to keep the good vibes going but also my bank account fucking hates me at the end and sometimes it’s exhausting.

Also I know I haven’t posted but we had a crazy storm and it fried our wifi router because of how bad the lightning was. I am writing this from a barnes and noble rn! my girlfriend is taking me out this weekend for my birthday. i cant believe i am going to be 21 on Monday. I literally am in shock. funny this is i don’t enjoy alcohol that much I also feel nauseous and icky and the next day I feel like shit even if I wasn’t tipsy the night before. I am excited though to finally get my own real gardening supplies because I live in a state where it’s legal it’s gonna be so yummy! I love garden gummies and garden rolls!! Ahhh more food reviews to come on my tiktok but anyway bye guys love you alllll🤍

[smiggles]

This is gonna be abit of a mouthful, but I need to get it off my chest now that years have passed and we've (hopefully you have too) matured by now.

I once looked up to you, but that was a very long time ago. The trauma you caused me is irreversible. tbf I used to be a brat and if I could go back in time to backhand my younger self I would, I own up to that. But I was only a teenager, still growing and learning about myself and how to talk to others properly. Turns out I was pretty much autistic, so communication wasn't my strong point at all back then.

But even then, your two-faced behavior of proudly shitting on and bragging about how much money you were ripping off the furry community, the people who actively supported you, loved your work and paid your bills, was appalling. I had every right to call you out on it. Instead of accepting it was wrong, you sent your roommates out like attack dogs to fight your battles, defend your toxic behavior and harass me. Every time I blocked them they would find a different site to attack me on. I struggled to make friends for years after that incident, I felt I couldn't trust anyone because of what you guys did.

Years passed, and I genuinely hoped you had changed for the better, only to see a callout post during pride of all times, about your grossly acephobic attitude. I had friends who were blocked by you and didn't understand why. You need to understand your damaging actions have severe affects on real people, and when you make public apologies, the people who comment saying they forgive you don't count if they weren't the ones hurt by you. They don't speak for those affected.

I'm not looking for an apology, even if given one I probably wouldn't accept it after all the damage you've done to me. I have zero interest in you being in my life again. I just wanted to give you this perspective to get it off my chest and for you to mull on, I want you to use it to improve yourself as a person moving forward. See the wrong in your actions, how badly it affects others, and make the choice to make things right.

But that's up to you now.

Hey, I know who this is an I want you to know that I think about you often.

Read more below

Sometimes your stuff shows up on my feed or someone shares something with me that youve made because we have common interests and I think to myself Im glad theyre doing well and I hope youre surrounded by people who support you. I dont say this as a way to like Save face because this is a public anon. I would say this to you in private if I could. I was a very nasty person years and years ago and no apology will take back the pain Ive caused others from that. Especially not you. But I am sorry. I wish things could have been different. I do. For the acephobia. Yes. I was acephobic and horrible about it. I hurt a lot of people from that and cant ever take that back but know that Ive learned a lot about how to treat others and unpack the internalized hatred towards my own ace'ness and how others present themselves. I also want to say I never sent my roommates on you. That was a choice they did on their own without my knowledge. I never ever want someone to go after anyone on my behalf and while it is likely hard to believe that those who have known me these past 5-6 years can vouch that as true. I have on multiple occasions asked my friends to leave people alone I end up disagreeing with. I never name drop people I dont get along with. I dont even tell people besides my very very private close friends about what happened between me and you and that might be about 3 or 4 people at most. As for blocking? I block very liberally LOL and its almost never personal. I block people for the smallest things just to curate my social media experience. If you ever wanted to reconnect and try again Im here. And I have no hatred in my heart. I have held myself accountable all these years for things I should have done better. Handled softer. In the end Truly. Im glad youve made a beautiful career out of something you love and no matter what happens between us I hope you continue to thrive. With all my heart.

[lets-jam]

1, 7, 16

im gonna do this for 2077, tho if anyone else does one feel free to specify a fandom

1 - the character everyone gets wrong

hmmm a tie for me between alt and goro takemura. alt ranges from like a generic 'good woman' to the far more common evil manipulative bitch which like. id be more upset about but given we get NOTHINGGGGGGG in terms of content for her about her like i cant get TOOO mad... I GUESS. i just certainly think shas far more multifaceted or SHOULD be far more multifaceted than.... whatever the hell we got. like i think theres something interesting with her setup being like 'sharp netrunner who got hired to make something she probably very well knew was... designed to kill people and could and would be used to kill people, who had her 'curiosity take over' (some fact i heard somewhere) but then also chickened out n tried to stop it last minute, and ultimately was one of the first subjects it was used on killing her body and forever changing her entire being, being forced to survive in a cuthroat alien world of no human basis despite still 'thinking' like a human, being even more forever changed by that and like kinda playing with this idea that yeah it is unfortunate that like traumatic shit not of our choosing can like irreparably change us not for the better, and that we can have dignity/human-ness given back to us by being treated as such even if its alien to her now. course like then its... id prefer her story not being so weirdly tied to johnnys as like a girl he happened to be fucking because... she was there i guess. and thats our only like reference point for her. which is all to say she has the potential you know? and alot of people dont... get that imo. for a cyberpunk setting shes really interesting case of how/what gets treated as a human and what we do when we dont have that treatment/what we do when we're given it back smthn smthn at what point does a self end (with memories? with how we're perceived by others? etc etc) but of course we didnt get to deal with any of that cause the game refuses to even ask these questions about johnny in any real fun exploratory way. and shes only in the game cause johnny fucked her and accidentally killed her... so yeah. and then GORO god this is mostly just me beefing with all the fucking idiots horny for this guy and like he gets fics n posts made about him how he would 'abandon arasaka for youuuuuu 😚😚😚' no he wouldnt! you are literally peon trash to him! he was chosen by a god emperor and elevated in his mind! he straight up believes capitalistic order is fine cause who cares doesnt affect him anymore and its a necesarry thing! which i like! hes completely head over heels for his corporation like a true 'samurai' ie serving a lord above everything else, even 'warrior code' if that ever mattered to him. hes been deepthroating the boot for years n loves the taste! he has never once thought in his life that you were his equal, and he has never once thought of you as a friend he sees you as a true means to an end full stop! hes not some secretly good bushido samurai man! which like more people should run with! if he was given a choice between arasaka and your life he would choose arasaka 10 times over like, hes terrible and i like that, everyone else seems to not.

7 - what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

fandom antics have really made me dislike this one complete side character like this person has like 2 lines but caused such fights in the fandom that im like i guess this is real to you. some gay guy and some woman fought over this side characters sexuality and one like made some weird kin claim to posting edits of him and like!!!! sometimes i have to remember people are unwell. it was fun for a time to watch ppl bitch about that for a while n see all the vague posting that or goro for reasons stated above

16 - you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

lmao sex god johnny silverhand. and related to that johnnys hologram being able to physically interact with v outside their body... ppl took like some 'its there for the cinema' stuff where he shoves v and like grabs their hands and ran with it now we have hard light hologram sex everywhere... even tho ppl shouldve just gotten freaky with it and had them like possession mutually masturbating using vs body like them as a single...being, cause again vs body is the only real thing in this equation and id like abit more realism if im going into some silverv smut, but those are few and far between the hologram sex featuring hologram cum and hologram fingering it just bugs me casue like the draw for me at least is they cant interact like normal separate people, nor can they 'feel' as in feel things like normal separate people, nor ARE they normal separate people like their whole setup is weird, they are literally the same person!!!! and i hate it when people dont get weird n creative in those paramaters with what we're given. esp when johnny flat out says 'masturbation is the only way for us to have sex' too. plus i love the draw of not being able to love or live or interact like you want to... famously i love a 'love' that cant be for whatever reason, despite it being there real girl what were you doing at the devils sacrement self report but it did bug me

[roachemoji]

NEW ST LIVE BLOGGING bc i lost my old thread lmao S1 06-08 (but not really i need to rewatch the end again)

Episode 6

OKAY im starting like halfway through ep 6 again

the AUTISM in the first 30 seconds of this episode starting up again lmao EL calling him a mouth breather because its the first insult she fucking hears??? Yea YEAH

GOD JOYCE IN A TURTLE NECK <- my mom (hold oni have to jump back up here because I completetly skipped the part about Jane and her mom and the connection to El and i feel like its a little too on the nose that thats who El is given how much ive seen and read about the fuckery and connections in this show so im waiting on that - unless it is just... that. AKJHD)

I LOVE DUSTIN SO MUCH WHY DO I NEVER HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT HIM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

hes SO smart holy shit i mean they all are but his interpersonal skills are so JUST YEAH CALL THEM OUT CALL THEM OUT also his quiet "ok" when he pushes that theyre all his best friends UGH

is this the scene is this the i think im about to watch the thing i just OH MAN HE JUST CLOCKED HIM WHO STRADDLES A MAN LIKE THAT WHEN YORUE FIGHTING HELLO

damn

anyway sorry Johnathan and Nancy Platonic Soulmates Best Friends Forever im making them bracelets !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh man i was gonna mention the van that Lucas saw but i forgot also GOD DUSTIN IS THE ONLY ONE WITH FUCKIGN SENSE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH boys boys boys boys boys

I FORGOT HE PISSED HIS FUCKING PANTS LMAO

JUST PISS YOUR PANTS???? oh he okay yeah i though the was actually asking him to just piss his fucking pants

DUSTIN JUST SACRIFICING HIMSELF WHY DO I NOT HEAR MORE ABOUT HIM ACTUALLY

SO what would happen if Mike had like died what would happen if those kids had caused his death like wouold they have just ran and left Dustin or pushed him off or what like AKJSHDSKAJHD

IM SORRY THE SONG WHEN EL SHOWS UP IS SO FUCKING FUNNY

El exxperiencing PTSD so vividly breaks my fucking heart like girlie i understand i understan di do i reall really do god im so sorry BABY GIRL ITS OKAY AOOIASUDSKAH SHE OPENED THE GATE DAMN gonna like swaddle her or something god

im sorry the squad of white vans going to kidnap children is a little too on the fucking nose for me

---

Episode 7

real talk could El not just explode them what if El just exploded them i mean obviously theres OTHER consequences like... killing people BUt i mean.

SHE IDNT EXPLODE THE VAN BUT I MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT GUY IS PROBABLY DEAD SO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pausing to say something actually: How child abuse is depicted so far in the show is very scary to me in how real it feels. To be a kid in those situations, to not understand the power you weild because an adult as manipulated you into believing that you're helpless? That the only person you can rely on is them, even as they're actively harming you? Brenner being aware of the harm that El can cause him but believing so strongly in the hold he has on her and therefore he is above consequence, above harm? fucking yucky The scene of him giving her the potted flower made my stomach sink. Felt a little too close to home I know that themes of abuse are really prevelant in this show and Its really interesting to see how it affects people different but especially El, someone who'se pretty fucking clearly autistic and shows a lot of the same symptoms that i did post abuse? I thought i had more to say on it and maybei will as time goes on i just!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ough okay moving on --

LUCAS!!!!!!!!! APOLOGIZING and El saying she sorry too and ALL OF THEM APOLOGIZING YEAH THIS IS BOYS BEING BOYS BABEY THIS IS!!!! BOYS! BEING! BOYS!!!!!!!

WHITE WOMAN JUMPSCARE AGAIN

i cant wait to get to the part where i understand who you (POINTS AT EM) believe she is and fully feel whatever i should feel about her and what shes done or about to do or going to do in multiple timelines or what have YOU

Mikes dad makes me want to ram my head into a wall

and BRENNER is just fucking STABS HIM STABS HIM STABS HIM

Joyce is just :3c she just!! she <3

she can.... make you fly....... and...... piss yourself

the two super powers

OUHAKJSDH i forgot they think Johnathan killed Will jesus christ i hate these two so much and OUGAKSDH GOD THANK YOU FOR AKHSDAKJH FINALLY!! THANK U IK STEVE SHAPES UP AND CHANGES HIS SHIT AND GROWS THANK GOD BUT JESUS ITS ABOUT TIME HOLY FUCK

SPIT IN HIS EYES SPIT IN HIS EYES !!!! WISH U HAD GOD NOT THEIR DND SHIT HELLOW???

the Byers,,,,,,,,,, seemed so distant before like they didnt know each other or cared but god theyre so close theyre so so close and i feel that i get that

MIKES DAD AGAIN I WANT TO HES SO FUCKING STUPID if i were locked in a room with him id put on cocomelon

HOPPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

THE BOYS ARE ALL SO SMART I LOVE THEM OS MUCH

El is just trying so fucking hard god the liek desperation and fear or failure and guilt that she just keeps carrying itS JUST!!!!

MR CLARKS LIL DATE NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! do you ever use your teacher's autism against him and force him to info dump in the same of science.

watching them setting up the pool and knowing they probably just told them to figure it out while they filmed it <3 ALSO MIKE REALIZING HIS SISTER IS ACTUALLY COOL idk need more siblings being siblings

JOYCE IS MY MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

someone giving El the option to say no? to back out? to FEEL SAFE??? im going to lose my mind im gonan scREAM and cry and throw up!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am BANGING MY FISTS On the TABLE

genuinely WAHT did barb do to deserve this WHAT DID SHE DO SHE WAS SUCH A GOOD FRIEND OH MY GOD

joyce joyc ejoCYCE JOYCE JOYCE fuck all yall shes my favorite character im in love with her

Do episodes that end in the upside down also not end with music @ em i cant remember this happening before bc i didnt write it down <3

---

Episode 8

LAST EPISIDE OF THE SEASON i went to get popcorn for this to pay full attention or as much as i could im goingin an dout of dissociating so bare with me i feel like im gonna have to rewatch the entire first season again bc i missed a lot but we'll get there in due time anyway onward and upward boys

OHH THE FIRST SCENE I SAW A PARALLEL TO EPISODE ONE!!! WITH JOYCE ON THE PHONE AND NOW YELLING AT BRENNER

god i love WHEN PEOPLE STAND UP TO BRENNER AND DONT BELIEVEHIS BULLSHIT

Hopper <333333

Johnathan and Nancy are my favorite best friends theyre jUST like GUNG FUCKING HO i love it

IM OAIUSDKAJHD NANCY AND HOPPER GOING FUCKING IN WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS NOT GONNA HAPPEN yall keep underesitimating these people because you got your fancy suits and you think ou have control of the situation and then you get your ass handed to you SO IM waiting for his ass to be handed to him

do NOTTTTT DO NOT DO THIS TO ME WITH HOPPER DONT THROW ME INTO A FUCKING FLASH BACK!!!!!!! NOT LIKE THIS NOT HERE GONNA BITE

if i have to watch people cut their palms to get blood one more time im gonna STOP STOP IT STOP IT STOP oh my GOD LIKE... BAK O FYOU HAND? YOUR ARM? GIRL.

STEEVEEEEEEEEE are the lights gonna start blinking girl please pleas eplease srteve please can he help kill please bro Im HIS big brown eyes hello hwa the fuck

SO Tumblr deleted... everything after this and im kinda upset man i got like 20 minutes left in the episode not even and it just wiped out 90% of me going balls to the fuck wall about El exploding people's brains and how much i love Joyce Byers and how they gotta stopputting me through so much emotional turmoil when it comes to Hopper and his flash backs

I think im gonna rewatch the last episode to give a better genuine reaction bc i kinda spaced out at the end and dont super know whats going on now askdhj

[snekdood]

anyways

@sprinkledsalt

I literally showed up in two, you make plenty of other posts like this I dont engage with in this way. I dont believe generalizations are helpful and only alienate the people you're generalizing. if you wanna reach men, dont treat them all like they're the same guy and just as likely to do some shit as the kind of guys you're talking about. You dont have to make posts that say "not all men", but you also dont have to expect men to want to engage w something if they feel like they're being grouped in with the type of men you're talking about. You brought up the shooter statistics, so I wanted to start there since thats where you wanted to start.

We can talk about all the horrible things that (usually cis white) men do, but at the end of the day, are we attacking men as like a group or should we be attacking an ideology instead? because it often seems like people are just saying men as a whole are irredeemable trash and not giving any real options for how things could even change to begin with. endlessly critiquing isnt useful when theres not action to take.

I have no outrage towards you at all. The only reason I commented on this post is bc ik for a fact you specifically reblogged it bc of my tags on your other post. I wasn't gonna make a big deal out of it just wanted to share my like one sentence thought in the tags and otherwise had 0 issues with your post. But you reblogged this and if theres anything I hate more than anything its people who cant just be direct, so I decided to make it direct. The only outrage I have rn in regards to you is how you like to do shit indirectly.

If I felt like a person of color was trying to reach people but kept acting like white people were the bane of reality, then yeah, I might say something. if they're just making a personal post, then im not gonna say anything. your other post seemed like something you wanted shared.

and of course you have no answers. so why bring it up? I never said it was your responsibility, but if you ever wanna toss some fuckin ideas in the ring instead of endlessly critiquing like I said we're all ears over here.