#im gonna do the others i got tomorrow though cos this took me like half an hour | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

maandags · 5 years ago

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Eidolon (Angel!Keith x Demon!reader) {part iv}

i have no excuse for the wait except that im an idiot who took this school year too lightly yeet

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Summary: Keith is an angel, and he’s completed mission after mission for the Upper Hand, the organisation controlling all of the Above. He’s only failed a mission once: when he was assigned to kill you, a surprisingly charismatic demon. He roamed Earth–Middle Ground–for years before he was caught by the Upper Hand again, and things quickly go south.

Genre: angst. because whats new

Word count: 8.7K

Notes: CW: graphic violence/blood, emotional manipulation - masterlist - {previous} -- {next }

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if heaven's grief brings hell's rain

then i’d trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday

~ Just One Yesterday, Fall Out Boy

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You wake up from a deep, dreamless sleep, disoriented and shivering despite the multiple layers you have on and thick comforter stacked upon you. It takes a moment before the events of the previous night rush back into your mind and cloud your thoughts, and you throw an arm over your face, inhaling deeply.

A huge weight has fallen off your shoulders. Last night, you didn't realise as much, your tired 3 A.M. mind already struggling to focus with the fact that Keith--who had been deathly sick only hours before--was up and about and sitting at your kitchen table and eating chinese takeout. But now that you had the quiet of the early morning to yourself you could feel the knots in your shoulders loosen and the lead seep out of your limbs.

You slowly shift your legs out of bed, still slightly dazed. Sunlight peeks out through the cracks in the shutters covering your window, and you cast a look at the alarm clock sitting on your nightstand. It's barely 7 A.M. And it's also a Saturday. While that doesn't matter much in terms of noise–a city is a city, after all, and this one certainly is never quiet–your neighbours' kids aren't allowed out of bed before nine on Saturdays, which gives you at least two small hours of peace and quiet.

You stagger to the bathroom and let the hot shower water beat down your stiff muscles, trying to draw out the permanent chill that seems to have settled deep into your bones. It works a little bit, but when you get out of the steamy little cell and wrap a towel around your torso you can feel it trickle back into the pit of your stomach, like an icy worm that's decided to make your body its home. It's more of a discomfort than a true pain, though, so you decide to ignore it.

Your hair is still damp when you pull an extra thick sweater over your head, stick your feet in warm socks and tiptoe your way over to the living room.

Keith is still asleep. You don't blame him–he's still recovering, even though he already looks so much better than the previous night. The colour is back in his cheeks. The dark circles and the hollowness under his eyes have started to fade away. He's still thin, and he doesn't smell too good, but you decide against waking him just yet.

In the kitchen, you put on the kettle and pull open the fridge in search of something to eat. The unfinished boxes of chinese sit in front, half-open from when you hastily stowed them away. You pull one out, sniff it, then shrug as you grab for a spoon.

The kitchen windowsill is probably not the spot a lot of people would pick to lounge on, an early Saturday morning. But you've always liked to watch the sun rise over the tall buildings, and the soft orange glow you're treated with today is worth waking up so early for. You rest your face on the knee you've pulled up beside you as you shovel another spoonful of rice into your mouth.

The orange slowly fades out into yellow, then into blue. It's soothing to watch, and you find yourself slow your breathing and close your eyes as the city wakes up beneath you. Noises of starting cars and motorbikes drift up to your window, and chattering fills the street. People exit their homes, throwing delightful glances up at the sunny sky; unexpected after the heavy rain of the previous night.

You finish your takeout, do some chores around the house. Change your bedsheets. Prepare a change of clothes for when Keith finally wakes up. Open the windows to let in some fresh air. Prepare a cup of tea and claim back your spot on the windowsill. It's a peaceful morning, and the air doesn't feel quite as heavy as usual.

And then there's a rustling in the room beside you, and a crash as–you assume–Keith tumbles off your sofa and hits the ground. A faint groan floats past the kitchen doorway and you try to hide your grin. A couple of seconds later a very dishevelled-looking Keith stumbles into the kitchen.

"Morning," you tell him, rolling your shoulders once so they won't go stiff against the windowsill. He nods at you, dark eyes bleary. "Feel better?"

He sniffs. "I don't feel like I just got struck by lightning and dragged behind a racecar over an especially rocky road. So I guess that's improvement."

You blow on the hot tea in your hands. "I'm glad. Would have hated to have gone through all that trouble for nothing. You're quite the guest, you know."

Keith winces at the words, despite your light tone. For some reason, his frown and pained expression tug at your stomach. "But I don't mind it," you add hurriedly. "I mean–it was my own choice to take you in. I very well could not have done that. But–but I did." Shut up, shut up, shut up, you shouted internally.

The corners of Keith's mouth lift ever so slightly. "Lucky for me."

"Lucky for you," you agree with a grin.

It's silent for a while, and in the sunlight, you can clearly see how thin Keith really is. His shirt hangs from his frame in a shapeless lump of cloth, his trousers sagging and almost slipping from his bony hips. While he does look better–the life has returned to his eyes–he still doesn't look good, and the sight of him makes your guts twist. You point to the fridge. "There's leftovers from yesterday. Grab whatever you want–but be careful not to eat too much. I don't want you puking all over my kitchen."

But Keith has already found the other chinese box, and you show him which drawers contain cutlery and in which cupboard are stashed the glasses. He scarfs down the rice in ten minutes flat, and you shake your head in silent judgement. "I'm going to find a way to make you pay back everything you'll cost me, food-wise. You're in debt, starting today."

He gives you a shy grin, but his attention is quickly taken up once more by the food in front of him. You quietly sip your tea, staring out of the window, occasionally glancing at the angel sitting at your kitchen table.

That's when it truly hits you how much of an idiot you're being.

Last night, it had been late. Five days of nothing on your mind but the thought of trying to keep him alive, and finally finding a way to do so, had left you shaky and dazed. Seeing him up and about after getting used to the sound of his ragged, unsteady breathing floating through your apartment had been a shock.

But now the full weight of what you'd done–and what you hadn't done–crashes into you, and you realise you have absolutely no idea how to feel. The air charges with tension, and the angel leans back in his seat. He looks about as uncomfortable as you feel. Your mind whirls with thoughts, all seeming to want something different–the part of you that's curious where this whole situation would lead and is whispering to you to let him stay; the part of you that's still a loyal soldier to the Below and is screaming at you to turn him in; the part of you that wants nothing to do with any of this and is growling to throw him back out on the street. You shake your head, downing the last of your tea and hopping off the counter.

"Take a shower when you're done with that," you mutter. "I have to get back to work soon. My co-workers are gonna ask questions and I need to be prepared."

Keith nods. Your phone is already in your hands and you fire off a quick text to the shelter's manager to inform him you'd be in this afternoon. You don't know Anthony that well–he mostly keeps to the side and handles potential adopters. You prefer to stay with the animals. Almost immediately you receive a reply: he says he's delighted that you've decided to return so soon after taking your unexpected leave. You resist the urge to roll your eyes at the barely-veiled passive-aggressiveness.

"Oh, yeah." You turn and point at Keith with your phone. "You can stay for as long as you need to, like, get your bearings and feel somewhat okay again, but then I'm kicking you out. I don't know if you have any idea of how much of a risk I'm taking here, but–"

"I get it," he cuts you off, and you can tell he means it. He needs to work on concealing his emotions, you think off-handedly. He's an open book. It's distracting. "Thank you. Seriously."

The tension builds until it's almost tangible. You shake your head, trying to shake the dizziness away. "It's–yeah. My pleasure, or whatever. I'm locking the door behind me." He gives a brief incline of his head to show he understands. "All right then. Later, I guess. Make–make sure you've showered. You kind of smell," you say apologetically. "No offence."

"None taken," he laughs. "You're right, anyway."

You make a gesture that's in between a nod and a headshake, then make a blind grab for your coat and your scarf before pulling the door closed behind you and locking it.

The shelter's lights are on, and its illuminated windows stand out starkly in the dim grimness of the gloomy street. It doesn't rain, for once, but grey clouds hang overhead and block the sun, the little light that makes it past them flimsy and thin. You pull the door closed behind you. The little bell above the doorway rings once, softly, and barking immediately pipes up from the next room over. You smile.

"Hey, loves," you mutter to each animal as you pass their cages, stopping here and there and sticking your fingers through the bars to give a furry face a pat, or to scratch a scaly butt, or to stroke a feathered head. "I missed you guys."

"They missed you too, I think," comes a quiet voice from behind you. You crouch and open a cage, plucking out a small cat and scritching it behind the ears. "They've been rather unruly in the days you weren't here. Restless, you know."

"Hi, Tony."

"Y/N." He inclines his head. "Did you have a nice leave?" It's a question purely out of politeness, you know, because he's your employer and he's supposed to be polite. As far as employers go, Tony really isn't the worst of them. But you can't shake the feeling that he's fishing for something.

"I did. I've been busy," you say cautiously, not taking your eyes off of the kitten you're cradling. "Sorry for it being so unexpected."

"Oh, not at all," Tony replies smoothly, sailing over to where you sit and leaning on the wall behind you, "We've managed. It was your week off, anyway, and just because you've insisted on working in your free time before doesn't mean that you always will." But it doesn't take amazing detective skills to hear the suspicious edge to his voice.

"That's right," you say, maybe a little too sharply. You can almost smell Tony's raised eyebrow behind you. "Sorry. I've just–I've been a little on edge, lately. I'll–" You scramble up, depositing the kitten back in its cage and dusting fur off your t-shirt. "I'll be in the back." You have the weird urge to salute, but you manage to suppress it. He's already suspicious, you remind yourself. Don't make it worse by acting weird.

It is a shame you can't spend more time with the animals, but you're not the only one who decided to come in today–it's actually quite crowded for a Saturday–so you get storage room duty and instead spend your afternoon putting away boxes of food and medicine and cleaning products. Emmie, one of your co-workers, sticks her head around the corner of your door at the end of the day.

"Hey. We're gonna go get milkshakes, wanna come?"

Your back screams when you push off the chair, eager for an excuse to cut your day short. "You're a godsend." The expression is actually used exclusively as an insult in the Below, but you find you like the Middle Ground version better. "Let me just grab my shoes, I'll be right there."

Hopping on one foot as you finish tying your laces, you join Emmie, Nirina, Adam and Zach as they stride out the door, Emmie and Zach's arms linked. In the back of your mind you recognise that's strange: Emmie and Zach can't stand each other. A smile curls the corners of your lips. You did miss quite a lot this past week, didn't you?

"We're going to this new place a few blocks down," Emmie shouts over her shoulder. You try to chat with Nirina for a bit, but she's more silent than usual, barely saying a word, and eventually she retreats to walk next to Adam behind you. When you don't focus on it, a black, vaguely animal-shaped shadow seems to sit on her shoulder, but when you look directly at it nothing's there.

Something isn't right here.

The feeling creeps into your very bones, making the hairs on your neck stand on edge and your shoulder blades tingle. The sense that you're being watched, and more–as you realise that with Nirina and Adam behind you and Emmie and Zach in front of you, it almost feels like you're being escorted. Guarded.

"Hey, Em," you call. Your hand creeps towards your pocket, but with a start you remember you left your knife at home. Stupid, stupid, stupid. "What's the place we're going called?"

Emmie turns around and flashes you a fanged grin. Your blood turns to ice. "So Above, So Below." And then she pounces--and pushes you straight through the pavement. You don't even have time to scream.

You lose all sense of direction. Up is down and left is right as you fall, fall, fall through a black hole, Emmie's nails still digging into your shoulders, though you're sure if you actually opened your eyes you'd see they're claws. You try to tug yourself loose, but her grip immediately tightens. You hiss when you feel her talons draw blood.

"No getting away, Y/N dear," she giggles into your ear.

Well, at least you know what she–and the others too, by the sound of it–is. Only Bountyhunters can get to the Below or the Above without using one of the doors or passages, instead creating their own temporary ones. You've travelled by Bounty Tunnel before. It's not a memory you cherish. The only thing you can do is close your eyes and hope it'll be over soon.

When you finally make contact, all the air is knocked out of you and for a moment you see nothing but black spots dancing in front of your eyes. Then you suck in a scorching breath and blink, and the familiar stark white ceiling of the Offices comes into view. You groan, and when you try to sit up, your hands catch in ashy grey feathers: your wings have popped. You flush, already feeling Haggar's disapproving scowl digging into your back. How unprofessional, she'd mumble.

Haggar has always hated your guts–even back when you were still loyal to the Below.

Emmie–except she looks nothing like Emmie anymore–tosses her long dark ponytail over her shoulder and sighs. "That was almost too easy. We were told you'd be a challenge."

"I haven't been feeling well," you reply, voice icy as you stand up and shake out your wings. You don't miss the way Emmie's expression sours and suppress a smirk. Bounties don't have wings, and they'll never stop being salty about it. "Also, four against one? That seems a little unfair, even for Management." You pause. "I'm assuming you got hired by Management."

"Of course we got hired by Management, demon," Zach snarls. He runs his fingers through his hair and glares at you, his fangs growing by the second and soon touching his chin. And then his face begins to change, his jaw softening (though not by much), his eyes growing more cat-like, his lips plumping. You frown, because you know this face. You know her.

Zethrid grins, fangs shining in the white LED light. "Long time no see, Y/N." You give a sarcastic wave.

"Yes, Y/N," comes an icy voice from behind you. Your shoulders tense, and your feathers puff involuntarily. "Long time no see indeed."

Haggar glides out of her office doors, and you feel all the stony calm and resistance leave you in one fell swoop. Her yellow eyes bore into yours, and it takes every ounce of willpower inside you not to look away. She nods her head, once. "My office, Y/N. Now."

"You're so dead," mutters Zethrid as you pass her.

"When I get out of here, you're the first person whose throat I'll slit," you hiss in return.

Haggar slumps in her seat and plucks her looking glass from its stand, making it levitate over her hand and glaring like she has a personal vendetta against it. "If it were up to me, I would already have you burning and hanging from the Grand Hall ceiling," she says, vanishing the mirror in a cloud of smoke. You try to ignore the pang of fear stabbing into your chest. You're gonna be fine, you tell yourself. You're going to be okay. But you find it hard to believe the words.

"But–" the mirror reappears in her other hand– "a certain Prince insisted on keeping you alive." She whirls the looking glass around and it floats in front of your face. Prince Lotor of the Below looks at you with a scrutinising gaze, as if gauging how much you'd be worth on the night market.

"Y/N," he says in a clear voice. You nod, then quickly incline your head in a slight bow. Watch your tongue, Y/N. Watch. Your. Tongue. "No need for that." Lotor snaps his fingers, and you look up again, eyes fixed on the rim of the looking glass, determined not to meet Lotor's. You're afraid of what you might see.

It's silent for a moment, and you keep your mouth shut for as long as you can, but you eventually break. "Forgive me, Lord, but–"

"Shut up." It takes all of your willpower not to cock your head and narrow your eyes in indignation. Lotor leans forward, elbows perched on his desk and fingertips pressed together. His cold gaze is calculating and cruel, and your entire body reels with disgust and hatred. "I didn't keep you alive because I care about what happens to you. Because I don't," he clarifies with a raised eyebrow, and this time you can't keep the grimly sarcastic smile at bay. "I kept you alive because I need you to do a job."

"With all due respect, sir, I don't think I'm the right person for any job." You try to keep your voice light and your fists unclenched, but it's a harder task than you want to admit.

"Told him so," Haggar mutters from behind the mirror. You can tell she thoroughly disagrees with being used as a TV-stand. "There are so much more competent candidates for this assignment who actually want to prove themselves and their loyalty to us." You have the feeling she's talking directly to Lotor now. "But no, you just had to get the one rogue who'll do everything in their power to get out from this–"

"Enough," Lotor says coolly, and Haggar clamps her jaw shut, though her eyes flash with murder. You don't know who she wants to kill more at the moment: you or Lotor. "Y/N will do the job, and they'll do it without complaining."

"You sound awfully sure." You've since given up on trying to be respectful. Lotor might be the Prince of the Below, but you had wriggled yourself out of more difficult situations than these before. You're already carefully plotting an escape.

Because the mistake most people make when they see you is that they underestimate you. They think they have you pinned down, and then they loosen their hold and up till now, that has always worked out in your favour–you know how to manipulate people and you know how to get out of the Below. You know every single of the dozens and dozens of passageways leading out onto Middle Ground, and from there on you know how to hide. You've done it before, and managed to keep off their radar for quite a while.

In fact, the only reason they caught you now was because you had been too preoccupied with a certain angel to keep your thoughts straight. A mistake, and one you won't be making again.

"I am sure," Lotor's clear voice cuts through your thoughts and pulls you back to the present. "There's a contract on the desk. Sign it, and we'll give you the details."

You can't stop the startled laugh that bursts past your lips. "A Blank Contract? You expect me to sign a Blank Contract?"

Lotor merely cocks his head and smiles that lazy smile of his.

And then the little looking glass shatters and you yelp, taking a step backwards in surprise, feeling your muscles tense. "I do," his voice says from behind you, and you whirl around just in time to see Lotor sail into Haggar's office.

Haggar gives a sharp sigh and brushes shattered glass off her uniform. "Do you always have to do that? Those mirrors are expensive, you know. I'm gonna have you pay for them if you insist on making a dramatic entrance every time."

Lotor ignores her, his gaze fixed on you. He waves his hand, and a piece of paper appears between his fingers. It's mostly blank, save for one thickly outlined black square with an inscription you can't read from where you stand, but you know what they say: Candidate's signature. "I'm not signing." But your voice has a tremor to it, and you suddenly feel a lot smaller as Lotor strides towards you. It was a lot easier to disrespect the Prince of the Below through a looking glass.

His eyes flash with irritation. "You will." Somehow, those two words hold more threat to them than all the insults the Bounties threw at you earlier.

But you set your jaw and clench your fists. "I'd rather die. I'm. Not. Signing." You had vowed to not ever help the Below in any way, shape or form again. It wasn't worth it.

"Told you so," Haggar sing-songs from behind her desk, a maniacal glint to her eye. "Just take one of the actually competent ones. Let me string them up."

Lotor gives a sharp sigh. "Touch them and I'll be stringing you up." Haggar pouts and crosses her arms. He turns to you, and the coolness in his eyes sends shivers up your spine. The realisation hits you like a freight train. He's done something. He knows something. He would never be this sure of himself if he didn't have an absolutely airtight plan.

Then Lotor waves his hand again, and another mirror you hadn't noticed before–a looking glass spanning from the floor to the ceiling, partially hidden by a black curtain–lights up, and the image you see has all the colour drain from your face and your heart skip a beat.

Allura is tied to a chair and breathing hard, her nurse's scrubs hanging crookedly, torn and dirty. A nasty cut spans from her cheekbone to her eyebrow, and blood runs down the side of her face. Tears mix with the grime and blood smearing her cheeks. Behind her stand Emmie and Zethrid the Bountyhunters, crazed smiles painted upon both their faces.

As soon as she sees you, Allura lets out a strangled cry that is muffled by the gag strung over her mouth. Her eyes widen, and you rush forward, stopping just short of the mirror's surface, afraid to break it. Your shaking fingertips hover just shy of the surface before you pull them back to your chest. Tears threaten to spill past your eyes, so you push them down and try to take a breath.

"Is this real?" You know how hallucinations work. You know how powerful illusions can be, and you know exactly how useful of a tool they can be in manipluation. It's a tool you've used yourself.

"Maybe. Maybe not," says Lotor's soft voice. His breath washes over the side of your face, and you can feel sick rise in your throat. All compusure is lost. It's all or nothing now. Thoughts muddle and get mixed up in your mind until all you can focus on is Allura, terrified and hurt, sitting in front of you yet separated by a thin sheet of glass and who knows how many miles.

A crazy thought of Maybe I can free her pops up, but you beat it down immediately again. You don't know where she is. You don't know if this is even real. Lotor would immediately order her killed if you attempted anything remotely similar to a breakout. Then kill Lotor, a ragged voice in your mind screams.

"Come, come, no rash decisions now," Lotor says as if he just read your thoughts. His hands ghost over your shoulders, sliding down until they reach your elbows. He gently forces them to your sides, and you don't even have the strength in you to resist. A fresh stream of tears runs down Allura's cheeks, and she weakly thrashes against her bonds, and in the end, that's what yanks you out of your stupor.

Your chin snaps up. "So you'll let her go if I sign the contract?"

Lotor rolls his eyes. "Look whose wits have returned to them." He lets go of your elbows and takes a step toward the mirror, hands clasped behind his back and his hungry gaze raking across Allura's form. She looks up at him with a mix of hatred and fear in her eyes. She's given up struggling against the ropes, but her jaw is set, and her eyes are steely; terrified, but determined. Her gaze flicks back to you and she gives the tiniest shake of her head.

Lotor reels back and laughs, the sound booming within the office walls. He shakes his head, still chuckling, his long silvery hair swishing behind him as he stalks back to the desk and swoops up the contract. "Feisty. I like that. Doesn't have the slightest clue of what's going on but still tells you to not do the thing you obviously don't want to do." He flashes you a fanged grin that makes your blood run cold. "I just might pay her a visit later myself."

"That's Middle Ground, my Prince," you manage through gritted teeth. "I'll find and kill you before you even have a chance to knock on her door."

"That's some confidence you've got right there, Y/N. Keep it for the job."

"I haven't signed your contract yet."

Lotor cocks his head and his grin widens. "Yet being the keyword here."

You turn back to the mirror, scanning Allura for any sign that she might not be real, looking for something that might hint that her image is off. Something. Anything. But your manic brain is running in circles, looking for loopholes that might not even be there, and you know you're not making sense, because the chance that she's just an illusion is there, but on the off-chance that she isn't, that she actually is in danger–

You would never forgive yourself if she were to get hurt and you could have put a stop to it.

"It's possible," you breathe, your hands curling to fists. "It's possible that none of this is real."

Lotor nods as if your words are perfectly reasonable. "True." There's a beat of silence, and his feverish eyes bore into yours. "But are you willing to take that risk?"

Anyone else–any proper demon–would have laughed in his face and torn the contract to shreds, watching gleefully as Allura got tortured in front of their eyes. But you had left behind your demon ways a good while ago, and you had always been a rotten pupil anyway. So you bite your tongue and snatch the contract and pen from Lotor's waiting fingers, scribbling your signature down hard enough that you pierce the paper.

"See, I knew you'd come around in the end!" He claps his hands in delight and throws a triumphant glance Haggar's way. "I told you so."

"Yeah, yeah," she mumbles, waving a hand as if to dismiss his words. She gives you a slightly disapppointed stare. "I was rooting for you, kiddo. Show some spine next time."

You fight the tears threatening to spill and slap the now-signed contract back onto the desk. "All right. Details, Lotor. What's the assignment?"

His eyes flash. Business; there's something he knows. "We received word that one of the Above's most prized angels has just gone rogue." He starts pacing, and your eyes keep finding Allura's behind him–but she looks at you with pity and something that's almost disappointment, and you have to look away before you break down completely. "It came out of nowhere, too: stellar record, followed orders without a second thought. A great soldier." You don't miss the punch behind the words.

"And you want me to do, what, kill him?" That wouldn't be too hard. At least, you think. Your mind is still a bit muddy, but something ugly and twisted inside you is still desperate for Management's approval. Still eager to prove yourself. I can be a good soldier too.

"Oh no, no," Lotor says with a dismissive wave of his hand, "I just want you to find him and bring him in. It shouldn't be that hard to do–after all, who better to track a rogue than another rogue themselves?"

There's still something else. Something he isn't telling you. Sure, you're good at what you do–at what you used to do–but was it worth going through all the trouble just to get you to sign the stupid contract? As much as you loathed to do it, you silently had to agree with Haggar on this one. There were so many young demons scrambling for their chance to prove themselves and their worth–why not let them take this assignment?

"That–that's it?"

Lotor cocks a brow. "I mean, unless you wanted more work, I guess that's it.'

You give a cautious nod. "Okay. So what do we know about this guy?"

"Not much. My sources weren't able to provide very recent information–"

"Get better sources."

"–But what they do know is that this particular angel has been off the map for years. Quite like you," he adds as he raises his other eyebrow. You roll your eyes. "He's impossible to find, quite hard to track, and a very skilled fighter. Rumour has it he's scouring your city's streets at the moment."

You resist a frown. If this guy has been prowling your streets and you haven't noticed, something is definitely amiss. Might just be that you've been preoccupied with Keith and everything that happened around him, but if this has been going on for as long as Lotor is implying it has... this just might prove an actual challenge.

The old feeling of excitement and anticipation starts to run through your very bones again, and you hate the way it makes you feel–energised. As if you can handle anything thrown your way. Ready. It's a feeling you haven't known in years, and one you haven't missed, though now that it courses through your veins again there's no point in denying that you're enjoying it. The thrill of the chase.

But then Lotor speaks the name of the angel you're supposed to bring in, and everything falls into place, only to shatter into a million pieces a split second after.

You see his lips move. Hear the words spoken, though they take a moment to get processed, and when they do they leave behind an emptiness that has you stare at him, too dumbfounded and untrusting of yourself to speak.

It can't be. This must be the universe's idea of a cruel joke. The very guy you'd risked everything for–the very angel that had caused your distractedness and is the reason you were here in the first place–is the same rogue angel about whom you had just signed a contract.

The crushing weight of it settles on your shoulders. All five days of you struggling to keep him breathing, for nothing. The weird excursion to Coran's shop, for nothing. The goddamn chinese takeout you'd bought for him, for fucking nothing.

But somehow you manage to keep your face straight, and Lotor hadn't been watching you as he said it, instead gazing intently at something over your head, so you can only hope he hasn't noticed the lurch in your expression at the mention of Keith Kogane.

"All right." You're almost shocked at how steady your voice is. "Okay. I've agreed. You got what you want. Now, free Allura." Even though your voice is pretty steady, you curl your hands into fists to hide their shaking.

Lotor doesn't move for a moment, and you seriously begin to think he's having a seizure until he snaps his fingers and Emmie lunges forward.

In her hand is a knife, and she plunges it into Allura's chest without a second of hesitation.

You rush toward the mirror, a strangled "No!" ripped from your throat. Your fingers claw at the smooth glass surface and you watch her slump, blood gushing from the wound and staining her scrubs a dark crimson. Your knees buckle, and your eyes stay glued to her form as she convulses, coughs up blood twice, then goes limp. Her head falls back...

And snaps back up, and you lurch back with a startled cry. Allura's eyes have gone red and are shining with mania. Her skin turns the colour of wet ash, and her hair falls out of its updo and cascades down her shoulders, tendrils black and writhing as if they have a mind of their own...

Demon.

Shapeshifter.

Your breathing comes in short and shallow rasps as the full realisation of things settles in. Allura was never in danger. You were right all along. If only you had put your foot down. If only you hadn't let your feelings cloud your mind.

It doesn't matter now. You signed a contract–and there's no going back from that.

Lotor fingers through the file that bears your signature in black ink. Slowly, the words explaining just what you signed start to appear on the sheets, snaking their way along the curves of the paper as if written in by an invisible hand. A steel fist clenches around your heart, and you struggle to stand up, your muscles turned to jelly. The surface of the mirror has gone black again.

A shaking hand comes up to cover your mouth, and your teeth clench down on your lower lip so hard that they draw blood. Lotor flicks his wrist, and the contract disappears. The fingers of your free hand twitch as if they wanted to grab at the file. You level your gaze with Lotor's, and evidently your years of training finally paid off in the end, because in his eyes you can see how passive your expression is. You'd be a good poker player, your fleeting mind thinks randomly. The only thing giving away your current emotions is the hand mindlessly tugging at your bottom lip, and the fact that your breathing is still rather fast.

"Now," Lotor drawls in his honey-coated voice–sugary sweet, sticky, suffocating–and snakes an arm around your shoulders, "that wasn't so hard, was it?"

And you know you should keep your mouth shut, because he is the Prince of the Below, and Haggar has already expressed her desire to string you up and set you on fire in the Grand Hall for every new recruit to see–but on the other hand, you just signed a contract, and that makes you technically untouchable until Lotor has reason to believe you won't be able to complete the task set out for you.

The very foundation of a plan starts coming together in your mind. You jut up your chin and break free from his grasp. "So do I get assignment-issue gear? A blade? A gun, maybe? If this angel is as good as you make him out to be, perhaps I should need some more useful weapons than your average kitchen knife."

Lotor scrutinises you for a moment, then waves his hand. A set of gleaming double blades appear on Haggar's desk, along with their sheaths and long black gloves. Haggar huffs with an indignant mutter of Sure, use my desk as your summoning surface. Don't mind at all. You ignore her and lift an eyebrow. "That's all you're going to give me?"

"If you're as good as you say, this is all you will need," Lotor replies in that smooth tone of his. His eyes glint; he's gotten what he wanted. He's already won.

But that's fine. Lotor may have won this battle, and you need to make him feel like he has, but in the end you'll do everything in your power to win the war. And Lotor just handed you the weapons that just might be able to get you there.

"Fine," you mutter, snatching up the knives, pointedly refusing to strap them to your back like is procedure, instead securing the harnesses to your thighs as a small act of defiance. Irritation flashes in his eyes. "I'll report to you how often?"

"No reports," Lotor says with a wave of his hand. "We don't want to make any potential spies of the Above suspicious. Just make sure you find him, and when you do..." He tosses you a little disk about the size of a large coin, and you startle at how heavy it is. It's pleasantly warm to the touch, and you have a creeping suspicion as to what it is that is only confirmed with Lotor's next words. "Portal pass. Use it wisely."

You turn the pass over and over in your hands, the familiar weight of the knives at your thighs comforting and seeming to pull you down to the ground at the same time. "Is that–will that be all?" Risky words, risky questions–you're going out on a limb and assume Lotor won't have you hanged for running your mouth: he did just pretend to torture your best friend to coerce a signature out of you, so you suppose he has to give you some slack.

He sails to a halt in front of you, face so close his nose almost touches yours, and you have to stop yourself from recoiling. His expression is cold, his gaze calculating–and the smile that creeps up his lips sends shivers up our spine. "Yes. I think that will be all." He raises a brow and throws a glance Haggar's way, which you find comical as he didn't seem to give a solid fuck about her opinions when he used her office as his personal torture chamber.

Haggar shrugs. "I still think we should string them up and burn them to a crisp."

"Yes, Haggar, I know. Why did I even bother." He gives you a lazy flick of his hand, but you've already turned and your hand is resting on the doorknob, when something occurs to you and you cast a look at him over your shoulder.

"My Prince?" The title feels like hot oil searing down your throat, but you expect the words you're about to say require this small bit of courtesy. He raises a brow and nods. "I'm going to kill the Bounties that brought me here." Your voice sounds oddly bored.

Lotor chuckles. "They're no demons. They don't have a place in the Below." It's like his gaze issues a challenge, and a fresh wave of loathing for this Prince washes over your being. "Go right ahead."

You flash a cold smile and slam the door shut.

– – –

You wipe your blades with some wet wipes and discard them in the trashcan beside you when they get too filthy with blood (the store clerk barely looked up when you came in and purchased a single packet of wet wipes and a duffel bag–apparently the average cashier sees weirder stuff than a maniac with bloodied hunting knives the size of their forearms slamming a pack of wet wipes on the counter on a daily basis). Emmie, Adam, Zethrid and Nirina's bodies have long since turned to dust, and you have to work to keep your breathing steady and to stop your eyes from glowing red as the phone wedged between your ear and your shoulder rings.

Allura picks up on the fourth ring. "'Sup?"

It was just a check. Just to make sure. But if Allura truly did just get tortured, you have a feeling she wouldn't pick up a phone call with a simple 'Sup?

"Hey. How was your day?" Your speech comes out slightly slurred, and Allura laughs on the other side of the line.

"Fine. Work, you know. Routine." You can almost hear the grin on her face as she says, "And you? Weren't you supposed to be at work too, today?"

Work. Work feels like such a long time ago--when it was in reality only a couple of hours back. You nod slowly, though it's more to convince yourself than anything else. "Yeah. I was. Some co-workers and I went to get smoothies afterwards. To welcome me back," you joke.

"Did they pay?"

"Yeah."

"Good for you. Free milkshake. I'm jealous."

You laugh, but it feels hollow in your chest. "Hey--I need to run now, but I'll call you later, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Sweet of you to check in, Y/N."

You eye the gleaming blade, running a finger along its razor-sharp edge. "No problem."

After you hang up, you sit back against the wall digging into your back, forcing down the pumping feeling in your limbs.

It's something you've missed, and you can't deny it. The absolute exhilaration you feel when your blades make contact, the thrumming of adrenaline in your veins as you dodge to avoid the blows that four individual enemies are throwing at you. The fear in Zethrid's eyes when she realises she is the only one left standing, and the life seeping from her eyes as you slit her throat.

It doesn't make you feel good, exactly–especially now that the thrill of the moment has worn off and you just feel tired and there's an ache that has burrowed itself deep into your bones–but there's no replicating the rush of power that courses through your very being when you're the one in control.

When the blades of death are yours to wield.

The knives are now securely stored in your new black duffel, and you try and figure out how you're going to pull off bringing two huge knives home without rousing suspicion from Keith. You internally debate whether you shouldn't just find a safe space to stash the duffel until you need it. There are quite a few nooks and crannies you know no one in their right mind would look, but then again, this was a big city. There were plenty of creepier people prawling these streets than the occasional demon.

And then you pass a gym, and an idea sparks in your head.

After casually shoplifting a bunch of sportswear from the nearest Nike store, you return to the gym with the knives in your bag hidden by the copious amounts of t-shirts and trainers stacked on top of them. You get a locker and stuff the bag inside before making your way outside again, smiling at the desk guy as you leisurely stroll out of the gym. The guy narrows his eyes at you–your clothes are still slightly torn and dirty, and you're pretty sure you have a bruise forming on the right side of your cheek, but you don't pay him any mind. He works at a gym. He's seen stranger than you.

But the closer you get to your apartment, the heavier the portal pass starts to feel in your pocket, and the more insecure your steps become. The sun hangs low over the city skyline, but hasn't completely started to set yet, and soft golden light washes over the streets, making them look... wrong. Bleak. Colour in a place where colour shouldn't be. You had just killed in these streets, and nobody noticed.

The thought makes you feel kind of sorry for the Bounties. They would be missed by no one.

You're still lost in thought when you almost hit a door and you snap back to reality. Your feet had carried you all the way up to your apartment. You blinked hard, rubbed a hand over your face and fumbled for your keys.

"Hey. It's me. Did you burn the house down while I was gone?"

Keith looks up from where he sits on an armchair–your armchair, but you understand he wouldn't want to spend another minute on the couch he spent five days on, hallucinating out of his mind–and grins, and your heart does a leap. And then he frowns, and you freeze, and your immediate thought is Oh fuck, he's found me out, he knows everything, he's going to call the other angels and he's going to kill me–

But the words he speaks are soft with concern. "What happened to your face?" And it takes all of your willpower not to break down right then and there.

He puts down the book he was reading and walks over to you, eyebrows knotted with worry, and reaches out to touch your forehead. Only then does he seem to realise how close to you he's standing, and he quickly pulls his fingers back to his chest. They're red with blood. "Let's get that disinfected, yeah?"

Before you can answer, he's already started towards your kitchen. You blink, still stunned, before following him like you're in a daze. He looks over his shoulder and points to a kitchen chair. You plop down, and it's when the weight is taken off your legs that the exhaustion comes crashing into you at breakneck speed, and it takes all your strength not to plunk your head down on the kitchen table and just pass out.

"Where do you keep your first aid kit?"

You vaguely point to a cabinet below the sink, and moments later Keith plops the kit down beside you on the table and plucks out a wad of cotton and disinfecting spray. You don't even feel it sting when he gently dabs at the cut on your forehead and cheekbone. His eyes are firmly trained on the cotton, his dark brows furrowed–there's a little crease between them that your foggy self finds most endearing–and he's chewing absent-mindedly on his bottom lip.

With a shock, you realise this is the closest you've been to him. Ever. This is the first time you can properly study his face, and you can always blame your muddy mind later if he brings up how blatantly you were staring at him, so you let yourself drink in every feature of his face. You find yourself drawn to his eyes most; they're a stunning deep violet, the colour of the sky at twilight, when the sun has just set and the last rays of light streak the heavens with purple. Most of all, they're soft with concern and simultaneously fierce with a kind of fire you haven't seen on him before.

"Aren't you going to ask what happened?" you blurt out before you can stop yourself.

Keith's eyes briefly flicker to yours, and he gives an awkward shrug before going back to gently rubbing at your wounds. "It's none of my business. You haven't asked me about what I was doing on Middle Ground in the first place, and I won't stick my nose into what doesn't concern me." But the words sound like he's reciting them; like a lesson he learned at school. You can see in his eyes that he is in fact curious, but also that he isn't going to press further. How very angelic of him.

You purse your lips, fingering the portal pass in your jacket pocket.

Your mind is a jumble of thoughts, like someone took all your emotions and threw them in a blender. Every moment you spend with Keith in your kitchen–how is it you always end up in the kitchen?–you grow more sure that you can't turn him in. But the contract pulls at your insides, and you know that if you keep ignoring its contents it will keep gnawing at you until you can't take it anymore and snap.

The contract is the contract. Binding and eternal.

"Keith."

His hand freezes, and you carefully guide it to the table, gently forcing him to put down the cotton. "Thank you, really. But I'm okay. I promise."

He nods. Slowly. "Okay."

And oh, how you want to wrap your arms around his neck and press your lips against his, but that would make things a thousand times more complicated than they already are–

Your breath leaves you in one fell swoop. It's the exhaustion talking, you firmly tell yourself, before you yank your fingers back and stand. You're a bit wobbly, but you manage. Keith wisely doesn't attempt to help you, but you can feel his eyes boring into your back as you make your way to your bedroom.

You change. You brush your teeth. You splash some water in your face to clear your head. Everything happens in a haze, your mind too tired to think about anything at all.

But then your eye falls on a piece of paper resting on your pillow. You frown and pick it up, and your eyes widen when you recognise your own scraggly handwriting littering the little parchment card. A hand flies up to your mouth to muffle your startled scream, and you drop the card as if it just burned your fingertips, though your eyes stay glued to its surface.

The words I want Keith to be okay stare back up at you, and with every passing second your breathing gets quicker and more ragged. Your fingers tingle, and as you draw a tentative breath you sink down onto the mattress. Your fingers tingle, but they tingle with warmth, and the feeling is not unpleasant.

Where Keith's own skin brushed yours, the chill that had seeped into your very core and had burrowed there for days, leaving you in a constant state of stiff cold, dissipated. The feeling is so weirdly foreign after having only felt cold for days that you dumbly stare out into nothingness, trying to shake the heat out of your hand. It doesn't work. It feels good, and you want more of it.

For a moment, the contract leaves your mind, replaced by Keith's eyes, the way he'd looked up at you, all softness and worry; the gentleness of his fingers as they cleaned the shallow cuts on your face. You close your eyes and lean back, the little parchment card on the floor seeming to beg for your attention. You never knew paper could be this loud.

For just a moment, you allow yourself to think of Keith and not just see an angel–but something more.

#keith x reader #keith kogane x reader #keith voltron #keith voltron x reader #keith vld #keith vld x reader #vld keith #vld keith x reader #voltron keith #voltron keith x reader #voltron keith kogane #vld keith kogane #voltron keith kogane x reader #vld keith kogane x reader #keith kogane #keith fic #keith fanfic #keith voltron fic #keith voltron fanfic

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schweeeppess · 6 years ago

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Red Robin and Batman walked into a house to gather information on a case. That was it. Their only objective was information gathering.

Bruce cursed the second he heard the whimper, pausing in his rummaging through a filing cabinet and shooting a quick glance at Tim to check if he'd heard, and he prayed his son hadn't.

So of course he had.

Tim was already on his way to the source of the heartbreaking cry across the room and curled tight in the corner of its cage.

"Red Robin," Bruce said in the hard Batman 'boss' voice. Damn it--Tim was more prone to picking up strays than Damian at this point. "We need to finish the objective."

At the command that was his name, Tim froze and stood ramrod straight (Bruce hated that the tone of voice elicited the response it did, but it still worked, even if it stung). He pouted a little, glancing back at the cage, but obeyed and finished setting up the small circular recording devices around the room as Bruce collected the paper evidence.

"But B," Tim whined quietly. "The puppies."

Bruce internally groaned and slammed his head on a wall; outwardly, he barely sighed.

"I know."

When Tim was done with his task, he wasted no time in opening the cage with the puppy inside still cowering, and he offered his open palm to the small dog.

Really, Bruce blamed the bad lighting for missing it. A second puppy's head poked out from behind the first orange-furred one.

The second puppy slowly crawled across the hard floor of its cage to Tim's hand, extending its neck as far as it could to get a sniff or two in, and subsequently hesitantly slipped its head into Tim's hand after giving it a little lick.

Pride bubbling up in his chest for no real reason, Bruce watched his son interact with the terrified puppies patiently.

It took ten minutes for the puppies to warm up fully to Tim, but when they did, they were attatched to him like bees on honey, and Bruce could tell Tim was living for it.

Even though he already had an attention-needy cat, and a beta fish that loved showing off back at his apartment.

"Red Robin, we have to go."

"I'm not leaving them."

"Red Robin..."

"Batman."

They did the stare-battle again, even though Bruce never won them, and he sighed in resignation when Tim handed him the orange puppy, hugging it close as he followed Tim out.

"...you realize we can't take these back with us, right Tim?"

"Names," was Tim's automated response. A second later he hesitated. "Why not?"

"We came on our bikes."

"Call the Batmobile."

"Red Hood is "borrowing" it, remember?"

"B," Tim whined, nuzzling the dirty puppy who licked his cheek. "Come on. The puppies. We need each other, can't you see?"

"Red Robin..."

"Batman. B. Please."

And, damn it, Bruce could tell Tim was giving him those same wide baby blue eyes he had when he was a boy. He sighed, resisting the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"We can get them in the morning. Tomorrow."

Tim grinned so wide Bruce had half a mind to test him for Joker gas.

It was a quick walk to the nearest shelter, and the receptionist at the main desk didn't bat an eye to see Red Robin and Batman walk into the establishment, each vigilante carrying a puppy. She just popped her gum and blinked slowly.

"Y'wanna 'dopt 'em?"

Heavy slums accent. Lives around here. Native Gothamite, then.

"No," Bruce responded in the gravelly tone of Batman's. "We removed them from an unsafe home. We're here to drop them off, is all."

She shrugged and looked to Tim, raising a brow. "Y'sure y'don't wanna take 'em?"

Bruce looked at Tim, cooing gently down at the puppy in his arms, and he sighed. The puppy Bruce was holding had fallen asleep on the walk to the shelter, but it appeared Tim's was still awake.

"Red Robin," he sighed again. "We talked about this."

Tim pouted, but nodded.

"Yeah, ma'am. We're just dropping them off." Quiet enough for her not to hear, he whispered to the puppies, "for now. I'll be back for you. I promise."

Glancing back at Bruce, the girl popped her gum again, shrugging. "A'ight."

Fifteen minutes later they were walking out of the shelter. Puppiless.

"First thing tomorrow," Tim started, turning and pointing at Bruce, "we're coming to get Ham and Cheddar."

Bruce blinked. "Who?"

"The puppies!"

"..."

"I'm hungry, alright?"

"...fine. First thing after breakfast."

Tim shook Bruce's hand. "Deal."

And in the morning? Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne and Bruce Thomas Wayne, sweatpants, crocs, and baggy t-shirt and all for Tim, showed up at the exact same shelter Batman and Red Robin had been at the night before.

The girl was the same one from the night before, and she was still chewing gum.

Her perpetual gum-chewing was concerning.

"We're here to adopt," Bruce said after offering a grade-A Brucie greeting. "For my son."

She looked to Tim disinterestedly. Popped her gum again.

He smiled a little and waved, clearly not embarrassed, and she shrugged.

"'kay. Dog or cat?"

"Dogs," Tim quickly replied. "We're here for some pups, actually."

The pups comment made the girl--Farah was her nametag--frown.

"Right. Follow me then."

Bruce was hardly concerned about Tim adopting more dogs than the ones he'd already bonded with as they walked past well-kept cages of puppies and kittens. It would have been worse with Damian.

They stopped in front of a large cage, and Farah gestured to the dogs inside. "'ese guys came in last night," she said. "The Batman and Red Robin brought 'em."

Leaning forward to see over Tim, Bruce saw the two puppies from last night--corgis, from the paper on their cage--and they were huddled in a corner, asleep.

"We'll take them," Bruce said.

Farrah nodded.

"They all?"

Just as Bruce opened his mouth to say that, yes, they were only getting the two corgi puppies, Tim spoke up.

"No, actally."

Farah seemed to perk up. "Oh?"

"Yeah--there was an older pitbull back there...?"

Bruce was stunned silent, but at Tim's choice Farah seemed to radiate joy as she popped her gum again and smiled.

She smiled, for the first time since they'd met her.

"Ya int'rest'd in 'im?"

Tim nodded and next thing Bruce knew, he was being led back two aisles to a large enclosure. Inside a mean-looking white and tan pitbull paced its space. When they stopped outside the gate, the pitbull bared its teeth and started growling, backing away slowly with its ears flat on its skull.

Bruce sighed. An abused dog, then.

"Tim?" he asked. "You're sure?"

Warmth and affection glinted in Tim's eyes as he watched the dog, and Bruce didn't need the verbal affirmation. "Yeah."

"Okay." Looking up at Farah, Bruce said, "We'll take him too."

She grinned, nodding. "I suggest you get in there with him. He'll need to warm up to you. He acts all tough," she said, looking back at the growling dog, a tad sadly, "but he's just scared. He's got a great heart. It's just been broken too many times."

Bruce looked to the dog again. He didn't meet gazes with it, but he could see the pain and fear in its body, and it broke his heart a little.

"Okay," he said. Tim was already slowly slipping inside, and Bruce went to follow him.

Farah watched them, and said, "I'll bring the papers."

Once Tim and Bruce were immediately inside the small enclosure, Tim closed the gate behind him and sat down right where he was. Bruce mimicked him.

When his son started talking to him about work, it surprised him, but Bruce endulged him, figuring Tim knew what he was doing. Tim looked at Bruce as they spoke, and Bruce held Tim's gaze.

Even being Batman he didn't notice the dog's approach until twenty minutes later and it sniffed at his palm.

Surprised but unafraid, Bruce opened his hand more and held it out to the dog, the way he'd seen Tim do it the night before with the corgis.

As the pitbull sniffed at his palm, Bruce noticed all the scars the dog sported. Jagged cuts along its side and flanks, smaller ones on its muzzle, a curving one over an eye, and a chipped ear.

Rage threatened to build but the dog sensed it and froze, so Bruce forced it down for the dog. He earned a hesitant lick to the palm for his efforts and the dog switched to smell Tim's palm, tail slowly starting to wag in tentative hope.

Farrah appeared with the papers in hand, apologizing for the wait, when the pitbull's tail was wagging carefully and Tim was scratching at the dog's head. She smiled at the scene again, and asked what they wanted to name the dogs.

"Ceddar and Ham for the corgis," Tim said with a little blush, "and I think I'll name him... Jay."

Bruce met Tim's gaze and raised a brow at the choice.

"Jay?" he asked.

Tim nodded once, firmly. "Yes."

Farah scribbled the names down, then told them they could pick the dogs up in three days. The wait seemed to disappoint Tim, but they agreed, thanked Farah, and stood to go.

As they opened the gate to leave, Jay's tail wagged a little more and he tilted his head as if to ask where they were going.

"I'll be back," Tim promised the dog, crouching to pet him again and making sure the dog saw where his hand went. "I promise. We're springing you from this joint."

Bruce snorted, lips quirking up.

Three days later they walked into the shelter dogless and walked out with Ham, Cheddar, and Jay.

"I'm gonna keep Jay at the apartment," Tim said as they entered the car with the dogs. "Because I don't think Titus would like him very much."

Bruce nodded, starting the car. Jay sat in the passenger side, sniffing at everything, pawing at the odd surfaces. In the backseats Tim was being smothered by his corgi puppies.

A minute passed in silence.

"Bruce, I think I'm gonna need a bigger apartment soon," Tim's muffled voice spoke up from under his corgis.

Bruce silently agreed as he drove to Tim's apartment. At the rate he was going...

"Don't tell Jason you named the pitbull after him."

His muffled voice spoke up again. "Why not? They both pretend to be mean, and they're both sweet deep down. Pitbull Jay has lots of scars, Jason has lots of scars--the parallels are too obvious! Jay is Jason in dog form."

Bruce's lips twitched and he shook his head.

"You know I'm right!"

"No comment."

"That proves it!"

@belovedbratwonder there you go.

#random #impulsive writing #tim drake #red robin #bruce wayne #batman #cheddar the corgi #ham the corgi #jay the pitbull #tim's crusade of pets #my writing #my work #my fanfiction #written for my lovely fren :d #hope you like

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taesbetch · 6 years ago

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02| Its Better Now

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: fluff, angst Hybrid!AU

Summary: Finally having her life together Y/N decides she wants to help out any way she can. When she hears about a hybrid bust she signs up to foster knowing that the shelters are filling up fast. What she doesn't expect is the “aggressive” and “cold” hybrid boy to wriggle his way into her heart.

Word Count: 1.7k

“Yoongi!” You called as you examined the ripped-up pillows in front of you. After a long day of work, you wanted to come home and relax with your hybrid, but instead you stood in front of your couch looking at the mess made by a bored Yoongi.

It wasn’t the first time he had done this.

In fact, it wasn’t even the second. Whenever he would get bored his energy always got directed to your poor couch cushions and not one of the multiple toys you had bought him.

You even purchased a few large teddy bears for the exact purpose of destroying them.

Yoongi sheepishly shuffled into the room, his ears flat against his head as a soft blush spread across his cheeks. You sighed as you placed your hands on your hips trying hard not to scowl the boy and scare him.

“again?” you asked in shock as your hand pointed to the disastrous living room.

“You didn’t even hide the evidence” You added with a frustrated chuckle.

“I’m sorry” he whispered as you started picking up fluff.

You watched him carefully. His pupils were shaking as his hands gripped the edge of his jumper nervously.

You noticed how often he did this whenever he was in some sort of trouble. You admit it was adorable, but you didn’t want him feeling anxious over every little thing he did.

“Yoongi, its okay” you cooed as you made your way over to him. His eyes lifted of the ground to look at yours, studying your expression to make sure what he was hearing was correct.

“i-its okay? You don’t hate me?” he stuttered quietly, his voice cracking as you planted you hand on his head.

“Of course, not you silly monkey” You said as the boy whined.

Scratching his ears, you smiled as his whining turned into purring. You puma hybrid had done a complete 180 from the first time you brought him home.

From a timid and cold boy to a soft and shy pile of mush. This was now your life, coming home to ripped up cushions and a guilty hybrid, but you wouldn’t have it any other day.

“I’m so sorry, I just get so bored when you’re not home. You usually don’t have to go in so often, its weird without you here” he confessed.

You smiled at the boy before sighing deeply. You knew it’d be hard for him when you took up the new project at your company, but it wouldn’t be long til he had you all to himself again.

“I know bud, hey why don’t you come with me tomorrow! I have to overlook a photoshoot, it’ll be boring but at least you’ll be with me?” you suggested, his eyes lighting up at the words, come with me.

“really? I can come with you?” he asked, a smile appearing on his face. You nodded as a laugh made its way out of your body.

The boy was happy just being with you and if bring him to work was what it took to save your home and keep your hybrid entertained then so be it.

“we leave tomorrow at 8am” You said before walking to the bin, mentally putting cushions on your shopping list.

Yoongi sat, fully content with just watching you help around the photoshoot.

You would often feel bad about leaving him alone, so it was nice to bring him along. As you approved a list of items, they needed to include you looked towards your hybrids whose eyes were stuck on you.

The place was crowded and full of people rushing around. Your co-worker sam had been running back and forth, greeting Yoongi when she could as she handed you files after files.

Smiling at him before returning your attention back to your work your co-worker noticed how attentive he was.

“You should bring him along more often” she smiled as you signed the paperwork.

“I thought he’d be bored here too, but it looks like he’s doing okay” You said as you passed her the pen.

“I think it has something to do with company. My first one taehyung was a little sceptical until I got my second one. I think when they have another hybrid with them, it calms them down.” She stated.

“interesting…hey, do you think I could bring Yoongi over? Maybe having other hybrid friends would help?” you asked her.

The two of you had been over to each other’s houses before but it had mainly been for work.

“yea of course you can, I’m sure they’ll get along just fine” she smiled before heading of with the files.

You nodded your head excitedly as you looked back over to Yoongi thinking about what kind of hybrid friend you should get for him.

The end of the day came quicker than you thought it would.

Yoongi was a bit hesitant at first but once you told him it would make you happy, he was all for it.

As the two of you drove in silence, you felt the eyes of your puma burning into the side of your head.

“yes?” You giggled as you turned your head to him for a brief second before turning back to the road.

The sun was glowing brightly and even though you looked at him no longer than a few seconds you noted how honey his eyes were in the sun.

“nothing” he whispered before he turned his head towards the window watching the cars coming from the opposite direction.

Arriving at your co-workers house your mind immediately thought of the perfect family home.

Her lawn was perfectly cut, the house was white and radiant, surrounded by flowers of all kind, neatly organised into perfect sections. If she didn’t open the door holding a tray of freshly baked cookies, you would be disappointed.

The two of you walked up the pathway to her door, the welcome mat giving Yoongi uneasy vibes.

Knocking on the door you shot Yoongi a reassuring look, whispering that he’ll be fine.

“hey!” She said as she ushered the two of you inside.

“Hey sam” you smiled still shocked at how utterly clean and put together her home was.

“This is my dog hybrid taehyung and my cat hybrid Namjoon!” She chirped as the two hybrids lined up in front of you, smiling warmly.

“Its very nice to meet the both of you! im y/n and this is my puma hybrid Yoongi” You said as you placed your hand on his back, giving him a pat of encouragement.

Yoongi gave a half smile to the two hybrids before grabbing your hand and shuffling closer towards you.

As you and Sam watched the boys play on the x-box you spoke of fluff such as the work and personal lives but as you watched the interaction of her two hybrids you couldn’t help but the urge to get Yoongi a friend strengthening.

“I know this really cool shelter that let your hybrid and the one you would like to get bond before you take them home” She said out of the blue.

Seeing your shocked face, she smiled at you before saying anything else.

“For Yoongi. A friend? Your clearly keen on the idea” she said as she sipped her tea.

“mmm, I am pretty keen on the idea…do you mind sending me the info. Yoongis a very picky hybrid so that shelter sounds amazing” You stated as she nodded along with every word you said.

“of course. If you were to get another one you want to make sure they’re a perfect match for Yoongi” she added.

You hmmed in agreement as you looked back to the three hybrids having a ball of a time. Getting more excited at the idea of your family getting bigger.

The playdate was nice for both you and Yoongi, you got to get a better idea of what life with another hybrid would look like and Yoongi got to make more friends.

As the two of you waved good and drove off, the car was filled with the same silence it was on the way here.

“Did you ha-“You started before being cut off by an angered Yoongi.

“I can’t believe you want to replace me, you said you didn’t hate me” he huffed in anger his eyes welling up with tears.

Shocked you pulled over the car, making sure that what he said was actually what you headed. Turning your head, you looked at Yoongi in complete disbelief and he folded his arms looking away from You.

“Yoongi, where is this coming from? I would never want to replace you, I love you to death you silly puma” You argued, your eyebrows knitting together.

As cars rushed past you Yoongi slowly looked at you, tears running down his face.

“you love me? Really? Do you mean it?” he said his voice quaking.

You cooed as you wiped his tears away, your heart breaking at the fact that he thought you didn’t want him anymore.

“Then why were you talking about getting another hybrid?” he asked with a pout.

“For you! a friend. I thought you could use one” you sighed as you ran your hand through your hair.

“i…I don’t want one” He whined his eyes exposing his lies.

“are you sure?” You asked slowly, narrowing your eyes at him.

“No, But…I don’t want one right now. I just want you to love me and only me. No sharing of your affection” He said before pouting cutely, grabbing your hand.

You giggled before giving his ears a scratch.

“well okay then, for now, its just you and me” You said before pulling away from him and starting the engine.

As you drove home you heard the soft purring of your hybrid from beside you. you heard him whisper something, but your ears couldn’t quite make it out. You shrugged it off as you looked forward to the future with you and your lovely hybrid Yoongi.

“Just you and me” he had repeated before turning to the window, the smile on his face wider than any smile he had made before.

i know its short but sis there wasn't even gonna be a second part and now its a three parter so cut me some slack. the next one will be a little longer but not like a regualr 5k post AIGHT. lots of love, taesbetch xxxx

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hazinhoodies · 6 years ago

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October part 6

A/N: I have so many parts prewritten for this. Please send me your feed back on this! Whether its good or bad! Hope you enjoy

Harrison OSterfield x OC

Warnings: none.

Word count: 1.3k The rest of the day went by quickly. All day Emma could still feel Harrison's hands like burns on her waist, his fingers splayed across her skin, never fading. The first rehearsal went by okay, other than a few dirty looks when she was given first part over the three other flutes, who have certainly been doing this much longer than she has. One she started playing though, the piccolo piercing in her ears, they seemed a little less angry. An older woman in her thirties and a man of about the same age, Janice and David, eventually actually complimenting the university student on her talent and tone.

It was late on a Wednesday afternoon, Emma sat in Tom’s trailer with Sam and Harry, each of them doing their own thing while waiting for om to finish up his scenes. Everyone else had already wrapped, Tom was the only actor left on set that day. Emma lounged on his ouch, her laptop open on her lap as she composed and texted Hannah, sending her samples occasionally for feedback, mostly receiving shitty texts about her day, or how she hasn’t drunk anything but pop in the past day and a half. As if she needs more energy.

Tom walked in after about an hour and a half, Harrison trailing behind.

“Let’s get this over with. I wanna go home” Tom flops on the couch near Emma’s feet. She sits up, making space for Harrison to sit and switching tabs immediately as Tom starts talking, answering questions he had memorized by now.

“Em, what would you be doing if you weren’t here?” Tom asks once he’s answered all the questions.

“Thought you wanted to go home, Holland” Emma chuckles, switching back to her composing and continuing to work on it.

“Yeah, well now I wanna know what you’d be doing if you weren’t so lucky to have me grace your presence” Tom spoke. A smile split across Emma’s face, showing off her white teeth, her dimple prominent in her left cheek.

“How do you guys deal with him?” Emma looked towards the other three boys

“We don’t” All three of them spoke, a pillow being tossed across the trailer towards Harry.

“I was planning on going back home for the summer. I haven’t seen Hannah in almost two years and phone calls are certainly not enough” Emma smiled as she received a text from Hannah as she spoke.

“Gonna take a guess and say that’s your best mate?” Harrison spoke quietly, bright blue eyes met Emma’s darker ones as she nodded, a sad smile on her lips.

“We’ve known each other since we were 7. Went to different universities but we were both performance majors before I switched into composition. She’s a handful but I love her”

“Sounds like Tom” Harry threw the pillow back at Tom as he spoke

“Dare I say worse?” Emma laughed.

Tom started some tangent on how “he’s not really that bad” and “you guys are just mean”. Emma was too distracted by the notification on her phone as it buzzed.

Tony⚡: IM GOING TO PARIS TOMORROW

Tony⚡: COME WITH ME

Tony⚡: IT’LL BE FUN I PROMISE

Emma smiled and looked up at the boys.

“Yeah yeah whatever Tom. Hey Haz can you do me a favour tomorrow?” Emma looked over at the blond boy.

“Depends. What is it?” Harrison couldn’t help but start to count her freckles as she spoke.

“Tony wants me to come to Paris with him tomorrow. Can you just send me Tom’s answer to the questions for whatever scenes he films?” Emma smiled gently. How could he say no to her?

“Yeah sure,” Tom had the questions memorized. It’d be easy right? It’s just one day, Emma does this every day.

“Thank you so much. Anyways. Tom do you still want to go home?” Emma smiled as the boy sat up abruptly.

“Yes please”

The next morning, Tony came to pick up Emma with Remy already in the car. The drive to the airport was filled with exhausted laughter as the trio still woke up. On the private jet, the three of them watched Infinity War. A horrible idea really. Emma started to fall asleep on Tony's shoulder quickly, only to be woken up by Remy yelling when he spotted Harrison on screen.

“Did you not know he was in it?” Emma spoke groggily, barely lifting her head off of Tony.

“I knew he was in it, I just haven’t found him before” Remy spoke, definitely way too awake for the time it was.

“Just keep it down. I’m taking a nap” Emma moved off of tony and leaned her head against the wall of the plane, falling back asleep quickly.

She awoke about an hour later once they had landed in Paris. Quickly grabbing her purse and heading out into the cool morning air with Tony and Remy.

The sun had risen since they had left. Emma quickly texted Harrison reminding him to get the answers from Tom and to send them to her. Knowing he’ll probably forget, she texts the only reliable one of Holland and co. Sam. He responds to her after a few minutes

Sammy: Didn’t you ask Haz to do it? Why do I get the dirty work now?

Em: Do you really think he’ll remember? It’s not even that bad. Just use voice to text if you have to

Sammy: Fine. I’ll make sure it gets done.

Em: Thanks Sam :)

The morning was spent at the Arc de Triomphe, des Champs-Élysées, and the Musée de l'Orangerie. The three of them had stopped for lunch when Harrison had finally texted Emma back.

Haz💙: hes never this much of a div when you do this. Barely got anything out of him.

Emma: If you send the answers I might be able to decipher it

He sent a long message, clearly copied from his notes

Emma: You made it sound like it was going to be horrendous. That’s no worse than what I normally deal with

Haz💙: hey now. im never helping you again if this is how i get treated

Emma: Thank you haz!! 😊💕

Haz💙: youre welcome em.

Harrison stared at his phone a little longer, admiring Emma’s contact photo. He took it while they were watching the dark knight rises in Toms trailer. Her hair was down around her shoulders, she wore a pale pink coloured shirt and Tom’s spiderman blanket was pulled up over her knees, bunching at her waist. Her back was against the armrest, her legs up on the couch, covered by the blanket. A bowl of popcorn sat in her lap. Haz had called her name multiple times so she would actually look at him. She looked past the camera towards Harrison curiously, her lips covered by her hand, holding a few pieces of popcorn.

“Haz. Delete it”

“But why? It’s a nice photo!” Harrison exclaimed, smiling as he turned his phone towards her

“It’s really not”

“Can i please keep it?” Harrison asked, giving her the best puppy dog eyes he could muster

“Fine. But if anyone else sees it that's it for you” Emma spoke after a moment of contemplation.

“You two are so weird. Shut up and watch the movie” Sam spoke up from his place on the floor.

The rest of Emma, Tony and Remy’s day consisted of the Louvre, and ending on the Eiffel tower as the sunset. At some point Remy had given Emma his jacket, claiming that the night would be cold and he’d be fine. She graciously accepted, not thinking anything of it. She stood between the two boys and watched the sunset, the sky swirling between pink, purple and orange. She hadn’t noticed the boys glances towards each other.

On the way back, the three of them fell asleep in one big group, all sharing a blanket.

Taglist @rainbow-marvel @starkravingparker @notimeforthemessenger

Writers who are amazing and let me tag them: @darlintom @cherryhollands @starksparker @starksmile @hollandroos @marvelellie @dej-okay @h-osterfield @upsidedownparker

#harrison osterfield x oc #harrison osterfield fic #harrison osterfield #harrison #haz ostefield x oc #haz osterfield fic #haz osterfield #haz #harrison x oc #harrison fic #haz x oc #haz fic #harrison osterfield angst #harrison osterfield fluff #october fic

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pbandjesse · 7 years ago

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One week, first day of my second job. And it was great. Very differnt from ships and I’m excited about that. Today made me really exhusted though. I slept pretty well last night. I got up and dressed. Felt cute. But I wasnt 100% sure what time I was supposed to be there for my shift. The way the schedule is set up I wasn’t exactly sure how to read it. So I went with the earlier time. I walked about half way down to the harbor and then biked the 15ish minutes to the museum. It was mostly downhill and was a good ride. I got to the museum around 850. One of the girls showed me where to go and how to clock in. She gave me some of the training manuals and I read for a while. I didn’t exactly know what to do with myself. So I walked around and tried to figure out where everything was. Look at the exhibits. Met a bunch of people. Everyone seems really nice! I shadowed 2 people today. But before that I would just attach myself to someone and find out what they did. Gabby showed me typesetting. Katlyn showed me how to set up the cannery. Then I got an apron! Exciting. I actually got 2 aprons because While the one is my uniform, the other was a costume for where I was working in the cannery itself. I was shadowing where the kids put the “oysters” in the cans and put the labels on the cans. They get to wear little costumes and it’s so cute. I mostly just watched. I wanted to make sure I knew everything. I did tell a few kids what to do when I felt like I understood. It’s very very fast paced. They do 2 shifts of working in the oyster cannery in 1895. Each shift lasts about 10 minutes. So very quick! After the kids left we went and had lunch. I had a really good time talking to everyone. One of the other new people, an old man named Dan, is probably my favorite. He also has his MFA in sculpture! So we spent a bunch of time exchanging pictures and talking about theory. It was wonderful. In the afternoon I shadowed a differnt girl. She was nice, but very jaded. She doesn’t liken the kids. And it made me a little frutraited. But I get it. Not being where you want to be. But I really am sick of people talking down to me when I say I’m excited about something?? Im going to start just tuning people out. Its such negative behavior. But she was a good teacher. And I was able to lead the kids for half of the second shift. And tomorrow I’m going to be doing it all alone! I’m pretty excited. I think I mostly have it down and honestly the kids won’t know if I forget something. Just gonna make it up. After that group left and I counted all the coins I helped prep more oysters. Basically just gluing glass beans on the shells and then the shells together. Fun. I spoke more to my new co-workers who I am very fond of so far. We glued cardboard cans. It was fun. I learned some stuff today and I’m excited to keep learning more. It’s such a neat place. It’s going to be good for me to have 2 very differnt enviroments and I think I’m going to be happy there. At 3 it was time to go home. It was slightly drizzly. But I still biked. I took the Jones Fall trail towards home. Which took longer then I was hoping. But there’s no hills so I didn’t mind a ton. Though getting drizzled on wasn’t super great and once I got home I was just so overheated I was shaking. I stripped and took a cold shower but my hands were shaking and acting weird. I eventually got the energy to make a sandwich and that helped a lot. I went and did laundry and laid down. I chilled for a while. I freaked about the Golden State Killer news and cried for a while. I was very emotional about the whole thing. I can’t wait to see what happens. And I have a lot of feelings. I’m rereading “I’ll be gone in the dark”. It’s wild. I was tired though. I went and put my clothes in the dryer. I went through my makeup and organized. Slept for like 45 minutes. Felt horrible when I got up. But once I got my clothes and put them away I felt a little better. I spent a while cooking one of my dinnerly meals. Cutting the pasta was hard. But the food came out so good!! I’m very pleased. And now I’m watching snl clips and getting ready for bed. I work at the museum of industry tomorrow. And I’m hoping to get some art done. I hope I don’t feel as exhusted tomorrow. I’m very excited though. It’s gonna be a good day. I hope you all sleep well tonight. Stay safe. Goodnight!

#ootd #work #museum #food #wensday #good day #tired

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astraea-writes · 7 years ago

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To Kiss A Girl- Davey Jacobs x Reader

alright so i guess im just gonna post davey fics until ben fankhauser falls in love with me??

requested by anon, so sorry for the delay! these go alongside my college headcanons from the other day, and i most definitely am going to rewrite this in the future with better structuring, but i wanted to get this out asap!

please listen to "to Kiss a Girl" when you read bc itll make so much more sense i promise

as always my inbox is always open

warnings: drinking

Hey! Y/N! Get a pape from your favorite newsie?" Jack yelled from across the quad. You laughed and made your way towards him. winter break was over, and today was the first day of the last quarter of the school year. Your last class of the day had just gotten out, and you were already exhausted from the amount of work you knew you'd have before this year was out. "Katherine's still got you passing out the school newspaper for her?" you asked, taking the paper and sliding it into your bag. "My girl just made rising editor in chief for next year" he beamed, and you smiled at how in love with her he was. You were quickly pulled out of your thoughts, however, when you felt an arm wrap around your waist and turned to see Davey. "Hey, study night at the library?" He asked and when you nodded he dropped his arm and blushed at the instinctive contact. It was a common occurrence for the two of you to spend countless days studying and talking while the rest of your gang was out getting into trouble somehow. Jack chuckled at the awkward exchange. "Well well, if it ain't the other half of the loveboids" he greeted Davey, winking and slugging him on the shoulder. You rolled your eyes. "Shouldn't you be off fawning over Katherine like a lost puppy somewhere?" you teased and Jack playfully shoved you. " ah come on, you two knows there's something goin on here! You twos have even kissed!" He accused, waving his hands around wildly, gesturing to the small space between you and your best friend. You couldn't help but look down and smile at the memory, but you quickly recovered as Davey went still. "It was New Years, Jack. And I seem to recall you getting us tipsy on champagne, and then pushing me into him as the ball dropped" "I elped a little, but you twos were the one who did it!" He protested. You smiled and shook your head. "I know there's no point to arguing with ya, even if I'm right, so I'm just gonna leave now" you laughed. Jack smirked at the glare Davey gave him and you pulled him away before he could get too annoyed. "Sorry i wasn't much help back there" he muttered once you were out of Jacks hearing range. "Don't worry about it. I can take care of myself" you laughed. The rest of the walk was full of conversation about how Davey finally got to see Les during winter break and your crazy family stories. The two of you instinctively made your way to your table, in the back of the library by the law books no one ever needed so no one would bother you. You hadn't even bothered to stop at your dorm and grab any textbooks, you knew that you and Davey would probably wind up talking so much that nothing would get done-it was rare for the two of you to have been apart for this long. "Why'd you want to study?" you asked as Davey pulled out his laptop. "Have you even been assigned anything yet?" "No" he admitted, "Im just stressed. You know how I took that music composition class last semester?" You nodded and he continued "well our final project was to write a full length song but our class was struggling so much that the professor gave us winter break to finish it. But now, I have to perform it in a week and it's no where near good enough" You laughed as he ranted. "Davey, you're an amazing writer. I'm sure it's amazing, even though you refuse to let me hear it." He shook his head. "There's no way you're hearing it" "at least play it for me then?" You countered, and knowing that you wouldn't stop until he did, Davey slowly got up and made his way towards the piano in the lounge of the library, where students were free to relax and play anything they wanted. He sat down and began to play the most beautiful melody you had ever heard. You stared at him as his hands moved all over the keys and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. You thought back to what Jack had said, about New Years Eve.

You and the gang of boys Davey and Jack had gathered had decided to go home for Hanukkah and Christmas, but come back to school for a New Years Party to end all New Years Parties (according to Spot Conlon). You had showed up to a pretty little club to find the boys drinking like no tomorrow, save for Davey who was in the corner waiting for you. As the two of you spent the night in conversation, Jack got more antsy as the night went on, telling the both of you that tonight was the time to finally get together about every twenty minutes, and the two of you had rolled your eyes and laughed his drunken shpeals off each time. Two minutes to midnight he had pressed glasses of champagne and probably something else into your and Daveys hands, and pushed the two of you together. You fell into Davey and his hand went to the small of your back as your hand grabbed his shoulder for support. Taking a sip of champagne and setting the glasses down, the two of you maintained eye contact, still pressed against each other. You couldn't speak, mesmerized by his eyes, by the way he was looking at you like you were the only person in the room. As Jack screamed the countdown, you decided to screw it and quickly pressed your lips to his. It was only for a moment, a single kiss, but he kissed you back and you felt every firework and sparkle that had been promised to you by corny love songs and cliche movies. The Newsies yelled and cheered once the two of you pulled away, staring at each other like you were meeting for the first time. Once the boys finally dispersed to go and taunt Jack and Katherine, who were very publicly making out in the middle of the dance floor, you turned to go with them, but Davey grabbed your hand and pulled you back to his chest. Before you could ask what was wrong, he cupped his hands around your face and kissed you. The two of you stayed like that, kissing painfully slowly, lips moving together in perfect sync, knowing that once you pulled away this would all end. After several minutes you had to break the kiss, and when your eyes met there was absolutely no denying that you were in love with this boy and always had been.

But you hadn't done anything about it. Davey walked you to your dorm, made sure you got to your bed safely, and left. When you woke up the next morning, there was a glass of water and an aspirin on your desk and a text message on your phone from Davey, apologizing for leaving so soon but he had to catch his train back home, and apologizing for last night. You had stayed in bed, silent tears moving down your face, because the boy you loved was sorry he kissed you and there was nothing you could do about it. "Y/N?" Daveys voice pulled you out of your thoughts, and quickly wiped away a tear you hadn't realized was forming. "Sorry," you laughed softly. "Just, God, Davey, that was beautiful. So so beautiful" He blushed and thanked you, quickly walking back to your table. "So when do I get to hear the actual lyrics??" you asked slyly. "Never." He responded flatly. "Come onnnn Davey, Im your best friend" you pouted, making him laugh. "Its just, personal, okay?" he said defensively. "Mm hmm, okay. But there's nothing that you can't write amazingly, and nothing you can't sing because I have 100% heard you singing in the shower so there's no denying that Davey Jacobs. And if you don't want me to listen to it, then fine, but nothing is going to change the fact that it's probably already my most favorite song ever" you told him sincerely, and he blushed, still not used to your compliments after years of friendship.

But it really wasn't fine. Because you couldn't let it go.

"Okay just tell me what it's about" you begged, lying upside down on Jacks bed as Davey cleaned up his side of the room. "Nope" he smirked and you groaned in agony. "Davey come on there's nothing I don't know about you" "You don't know what I'm gonna sing" he laughed and you threw one of Jacks pillows at his head. "Davey come on I'm literally dying. Is it about me? About Jack? About your hidden love for girly Starbucks drinks?" you jokingly guessed, standing in line at your local Starbucks. Davey recited both of your orders and then turned back to glare at you. "Y/N I'm seriously not telling you. It's personal and stupid and once I get my grade I'm never speaking of it again, okay?" he sighed as the two of you walked to class. "That makes me incredibly sad because I know everything you do is ridiculously amazing" you smiled, and he only rolled his eyes.

After a week of begging and unsuccessfully bribing, Davey's performance day was here and you still weren't even told where it would be. That was, until Jack came pounding on your door. "Y/N! So a friend of Katherine's is in Daveys music class and a friend of hers is the stage manager for the theatre they're using and if we go right now then we can get there in time to sneak in!" he yelled, and you had barely grabbed your coat before you were out the door. Jack was the only person as impatient as you, and Daveys secrecy had been driving him crazy as well. The two of you made it to the school theater in record time, sneaking in to the back entrance that had been left open for you. You two made your way to the back of the house, and ducked into the last row of seats as Daveys name was called. He shyly walked up to the piano, and began to play the melody you had heard just the week before. His face slowly relaxed as he calmed his nerves, and hesitantly he began to sing. You were immediately stunned. His voice was pure and perfect, echoing off the walls. And then he got to the chorus. You felt Jacks eyes land on you, but you couldn't look away from Davey. Was he really singing about you? Could he really have felt the same way? You barely blinked, smiling wider than you thought possible, tears pooling in your eyes. And right before the final chorus, Davey turned to look out into the crowd and your eyes met. With a mix of both fear and confidence that only he could have, he belted out the final notes, and as he finished the song, you ran up to the bottom of the stage as the professors and the rest of the class burst into applause, Jack cheering the loudest. Davey made his way down to you from the stage, and all of his embarrassment melted away as he saw the look in your eyes. He ran up to you and you didn't hesitate to grab his collar and pull him into you, kissing him like you had been waiting to for so long. His hands wrapped around your waist and he deepened the kiss, the applause growing even stronger. There was no countdown or champagne, but you knew this was a new beginning for the both of you.

#davey jacobs #davey jacobs x reader #davey x reader #newsies fic #newsies x reader #newsies fanfiction #newsies #ben fankhauser #jeremy jordan #jack kelly #katherine plumber

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adifferentworldtwo-blog · 7 years ago

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3: An Evening with Dr. Novak

Whitley

I stepped off the ladder after positioning my pop art portrait evenly on the wall in the family room.

“Dwayne,” I called for him.

“Huh?” He asked while setting up the TV.

“Come look at this and tell me if it’s straight.”

He stood up, walking over and standing next to me. He nodded, his eyebrows raised, “I’m impressed. It’s good.”

I smiled at my work, “See, I’m getting better at doing things myself.”

“You actually are doing pretty good, I may admit.”

“After this, all you have to do is finish the tv and I just gotta hang these drapes up right there,” I pointed to the window in the our family room.

“And then we’re done,” he sighed, looking around, “It’s been 5 long days of setting this house up. I miss my kids, too.”

“Well, it would've taken us two weeks with the kids being here, so. My mother just has them until tomorrow, don’t worry.”

“I know, I know,” he half-smiled before going back to finish hooking up the tv.

“I’m going to take a 5 minute break, though.”

“No problem.”

I walked to our bedroom, turning on the lights. We decided on our bedroom color to be white with a hint of gold decor. I noticed a small photo album on my dresser, one I forgot to hide in our closet.

This album is supposed to be hidden for a reason, so our children don’t get a hold of it. Our first year in Tokyo, I bought Dwayne a polaroid camera, so that he can send pictures to his family and things of that sort. After a while, Dwayne didn’t only use the camera for friends and family, but for us. I was 3 months pregnant when he started taking pictures of me and he would save them. Some of them would be of my face, some of them would be of him, and some of them would be a little more explicit. This camera became part of our foreplay. So for his birthday, I bought him an album to put them in.

I opened the album, the first picture I saw was an off-guard picture of me smiling. He has this as the first picture because it’s his favorite. My loose, curly hair flowing past my shoulders and I didn’t have not one bit of makeup on. At first I didn’t like this photo, but he made it grow on me. I turned the page and the second photo was a waist-up photo of my back. I had no clothes on at the time. My head was turned so you could see my profile. I had on red lipstick that day and Dwayne just had to get a picture before I got in the shower.

I kept flipping through the photos till I saw one picture that I found to be a little special. This was the first time I allowed Dwayne to take a nude picture of me from the front. I was 4 months pregnant with DJ, feeling like a whale. I didn’t think I was sexy the bigger my belly got, and Dwayne was adamant about making sure I knew how sexy I was. I found myself smiling at this photo because it held so many memories of that one day.

“You remember this day?” I heard Dwayne’s voice behind me.

I jumped a little, not realizing he was behind me, “You scared me!”

He chuckled, “Maybe I need to walk a little harder, next time. But you remember this?” he reached from behind me and touched the photo.

“Yea, I do,” I looked at it again.

“You kept saying ‘Dwayne, I look like a whale, leave me alone,’” he mocked my accent before laughing.

“I really felt like one at the time.”

“I don’t know why. You’re always so beautiful when you’re pregnant. Your skin has this glow to it and you…. All you do is wear sweatpants and big t-shirts all day.”

I looked up at him, “You like that?

“Yea. Cause you’re always in a suit, or a blouse, or a dress. Never just.. sweatpants and t-shirt.”

I nodded, “Is that why you knocked me up only a year after DJ was born?”

He chuckled, “Possibly,” he teased, “But no, you really do look amazing here. You gained a little weight but it looked so good. And you went from a B cup to a C and you know I loved that.”

I blushed, but quickly tried to hide it. I closed the album before clearing my throat, “I should get to setting up those drapes,” I walked to the closet to the put the album away.

“Whatever you say, Whitley,” he smiled to himself, shaking his head. I heard his footsteps walk out.

I waited a few seconds to make sure he was gone and opened the album again. I turn passed the page with the pregnant photo of me to see Dwayne. He was completely naked and let me take this picture of him to make me feel better about the nude photo he took of me. I stared at the picture for a few seconds. His body was just how I liked it. Toned, yet slender. I bit my lip and found myself crossing my legs while I stood.

I shook my head, “Nope,” I whispered to myself, “No, no, no, I can’t,” I closed the album and let it slide behind all of Dwayne’s Jordan shoe boxes. I felt myself getting hot and bothered, and I’ve been doing a great job at not giving Dwayne any and I’m not gonna ruin that today.

I took a deep breath and walked out of the bedroom.

Dwayne sat on the couch, channeling through the tv to make sure everything works properly.

After I finished with the drapes, my heart was going a mile a minute. Me and Dwayne have our first counseling session in a few hours and there are things that I need to know before we start. But I’m scared. Im so scared that it’ll hurt me deeper. I’ve already lightened up on him, we make small talk now and everything.

“D-Dwayne?” I called his name apprehensively from the bedroom.

I heard footsteps as he arrived in front of the door, “Yes?”

“As you know, we have counseling at 5. Are you ready?”

He sighed and walked over to the bed. He sat next to me, “I’m ready to fix this. I miss you.”

“So that means any questions I have for you, you’ll tell me the truth?”

He took a deep breath and paused for a second.

“Even if it’ll hurt me?” I looked him in the eyes.

“Yes. I will,” he looked back into mine.

“Good, because I don’t want to go into this session blind, okay?”

“I agree.”

These were all the questions that most women want the answers to immediately. But I didn’t. I just wanted peace in my own home, so I blocked out the fact that it happened. I didn’t wanna talk about it or hear anything about it. But now it’s time.

“So, my first question is…. The day I found out, you came home and you knew that I knew. How? Cause I didn’t say a thing.”

“My boss. After my lunch break he asked me how was the food you bought me, and I was confused. So I went to the receptionist and asked her did she see you and she said you walked in with a happy look on your face, but only a few minutes later, you stormed your way out in tears. Another co-worker said he swore he saw you open my office door but he was so busy with his own work he didn’t pay you any mind.”

“I did open your door. Slightly. I wanted to sneak up on you and surprise you. I had on your favorite lingerie, your favorite pumps, and I bought your favorite food. Then I saw what I saw. And I left.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“If I would’ve allowed myself to get angry in your office, you would’ve had to peel me off of her, and once you did that, someone would’ve had to peel me off of you.”

He looked down, “I’m such an asshole.”

“You are,” I blinked, “What’s her name?” I played with my fingers.

“Mariko,” he looked so uncomfortable answering these questions. He looked ashamed.

“How long?”

“Three months.”

“Three whole months,” I whispered to myself before sighing.

“Whitley, I’m s-”

“You’re sorry. I know,” I frowned, “Did you use a condom with her?”

“The first time, yes.”

“The first time? What about every other time?” My heart sunk.

“After the first time, we did if we had any on us.”

“So, what you’re telling me is you stuck yourself inside of her with no type of protection or barrier?”

He was quiet.

“Dwayne,” my voice cracked. I stood up in disbelief.

He stood up with me, “I wasn’t thinking.”

“For three whole months, you weren’t thinking?!” I backed away from him. Who am I talking to right now?

“Whitley, please. You asked me to tell the truth and I’m trying to.”

“Oh, so should I just be numb to the fact that you stepped out on me and risked bringing back some sort of disease or getting this girl pregnant?!”

“I made sure I took care of both of those. After you caught us, I quit her. I realized what I had done. But I told her I wanted to be sure nothing connected me to her so I asked her to take a test. And I went to get myself tested for any STDs.”

“And they both came out negative?”

“Yes, Whitley. I’m a father to no one but Aiko and DJ, and I’m clean.”

I shook my head, “Dwayne, when was the first time you slept with her?”

“The day after our argument about not being intimate,” he frowned knowing that wouldn't sit well with me either.

“The day we had sex?”

He nodded, “Whitley-”

“I’m fine,” I felt a lump in my throat but no. I wasn’t going to cry, not in front of him, “Where did you have sex?”

“My office. Her car. Sometimes we’d get a room in a hotel.”

“Ugh,” I walked out the room. I was disgusted.

“Whitley!” He ran after me, and grabbed my arm once he caught up.

“Let go of me!” I turned to look at him, “How could you?”

“I don’t know, okay?! What I did wasn’t right and I can admit that. I’m trying so hard to get in a good place, but it’s like you won’t let me. You wanted me to be honest, I’m doing that. What else do you want from me, Whitley? What can I do to get my wife back?”

“Dwayne, please,” I scoffed and rolled my eyes, “I just wanna know one more thing,” I raised my eyebrows and folded my arms.

“What?”

“How did you do it? How’d you hide it so well?”

“You always believed me when I said I was working late.”

“Look at me. Being a fool and trusting my husband,” I laughed sarcastically.

“Whit-”

“And how’d you hide it from the office?”

“Well, you know how they know I call you Bunny?”

“Yes,” I stared at him.

“If I had to, I’d refer to her as Bunny, too. No one blinked an eye.”

That was it. Before I knew it, the palm of my hand collided with the side of his face. And it stung.

“Fuck you, Dwayne,” I glared at him as tears fell down my cheek. I didn’t care anymore.

He didn’t say anything. He just looked down.

I shook my head as I walked out my front door. I needed to let off some steam.

Dr. Novak smiled at us. She had light brown skin, dark, curly hair that was pulled back into a bun, and she wore a perfect size six. She wore a dress that complimented her figure perfectly, you could even see it as she sat down behind her desk. Ever since I found out about Dwayne cheating on me, women like Dr. Novak made me insecure about my marriage. I was always afraid that he would find them as beautiful as I did. Maybe even more beautiful than me.

“You guys are the Waynes, am I correct?” She put on her glasses and looked at a notepad in front of her.

“Yes, we are,” I smiled politely at her.

Her smile got even better, “And Whitley, you want to stay a Wayne, that’s why you’re here. Right?”

“Well-”

“I want her to stay a Wayne,” Dwayne cut me off, “I did something that made her not want to be,” he looked at me, “I want to try my hardest to change that.”

I looked down.

Dr.Novak nodded, “That’s good. One person wants to make this work. Do you, Whitley?”

I was hesitant. But eventually I nodded, “Yes.”

Dr. Novak looked at us, “Now I want you two to know that marriage counseling isn't exactly the cure to save a marriage. It's more to help you two see if your relationship has gone toxic or not. So really, it's to help you realize if it's healthier to save or to go separate ways.”

“That's fine,” I looked at my fingers. I was upset. So upset at Dwayne.

“So what drove you two here?”

I looked at Dwayne. He was going to admit this to her. I will not.

Dwayne felt my eyes on him. He looked at me, then looked at Dr. Novak. He sighed, “I cheated on my wife…. for three months.”

I looked down.

“Infidelity,” Dr. Novak wrote on her notepad, “Okay. May I know the circumstances?”

“Well, it happened in Tokyo, we lived there for six years. We just moved back, actually. She was a woman I worked with. And it lasted until my wife found out.”

“Tokyo?” Her eyebrows raised, “Why were you living there?”

“I got a job offer out there,” Dwayne looked at me, “And Whitley didn't want me to miss out on the opportunity. So we went.”

“You left your whole life behind to follow a man to Japan? Why?” Dr. Novak looked at me.

“Well, he's my husband. I found out I was pregnant and I… well, I love him,” I looked back at her.

She smiled, “You love him. That's what I was hoping to hear. How long ago was the cheating? You seem a little hostile, Whitley. Are you still angry?”

“I found out about the actual cheating about two months ago and well, I found out all the details of the cheating today.”

“Just today?” She raised her eyebrows, “Why?”

“When I found out about it, I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted peace so I just blocked out the fact that it ever happened. So today, I told him I wanted to know everything that happened and I guess I wasn't prepared to hear everything he had done.”

“Truthfully, Mrs. Wayne, you prolonged your hurting by not talking about it immediately, but don't worry, you aren't alone. Many of women react that way.”

“I know,” I looked down.

She looked at Dwayne, “So before I get to you, Mr. Wayne, I need to talk to your wife about what she thinks,” she turned to looked at me, “What did you find out, Mrs. Wayne?”

“That he wasn't using protection with her,” that lump formed in my throat again, “That he went as far as renting a room with her, and that he, uh,” I looked down as a tear roll down my cheek, “He called her the nickname he gave me on our first date, to avoid the office getting suspicious.”

“Wow,” she frowned, “That nickname seems special to you.”

“It is,” I wiped my cheek, “It is very special to me.”

“Why do you think he cheated on you?”

“Because he only cares about himself and what he needs. He doesn't think about how his actions affect anybody else.”

“Wow,” I heard Dwayne whisper. He looked at me in shock.

“Do you care to explain, Mrs. Wayne?”

“This isn't the first time he's cheated on me. He's done it before, while we were engaged. It wasn't sexual, but he still went out with another woman. After I found out about that, I broke off the engagement. Before we even started dating, he was dating someone else. And he cheated on her with me,” I frowned.

“Mhm,” Dr. Novak wrote down on her notepad. She looked at Dwayne who was covering his mouth, obviously upset, “Mr. Wayne, you look like you having something to say.”

“I'll wait until you're finished with her,” he said, calmly.

“Continue, Mrs. Wayne.”

I nodded, “When I broke off my engagement with Dwayne, there was a period where we started seeing other people. I had a boyfriend named Byron. I was happy, but it was awkward because me and Dwayne both worked in his office. Dwayne and him became friends, too. Dwayne convinced Byron that he no longer was interested in me. Byron proposed to me. And on my wedding day-”

“Your wedding day with Byron?”

“Yes,” I nodded, “On that day me and Dwayne ended up getting married. You know how?”

“How?”

“Because Dwayne barged into the wedding right before the ‘I do’s and he asked me to marry him instead.”

“And you did.”

“I did.”

“Because you still loved him.”

“So much,” I began to cry again, “But I was trying to move on with Byron. I was trying to. But Dwayne knew I loved him. He knew I loved him and he didn't want me happy with anyone else so he came and he lured me in and he knew I would follow. I broke that man’s heart for you,” before I knew it, I was talking to Dwayne, “But you're so selfish, even after all that you cheat again! I left my whole life in Virginia to follow your ass to Tokyo, just to get cheated on!”

He took a deep breath, not looking at me in the eye.

“Mrs. Wayne, I want you to calm down for a second,” Dr. Novak looked at me, “I know you're hurt, okay? I want to know something.”

“Yes?”

“Why'd you almost marry another man if you knew you were still in love with the man next to you?”

“Because I wanted to move on. Byron had everything I had wanted in a man and he wanted me back. I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“See, you didn't break Byron’s heart for Dwayne. You broke it, yourself. You would've broken it regardless. Because you weren't in love with him.”

I looked down.

“While your husband is selfish, you have to see where you're selfish, too. Everyone is a bit selfish. So I don't think he cheated because he was selfish,” she turned to Dwayne, “Now, Mr. Wayne, why'd you cheat on this lovely woman next to you?”

“Because she never listens to me. Everything is about her. What she needs done, how she's feeling, how her day went. She never listens to me or my needs.”

“Explain,” she wrote on her notepad.

“For example, she wants to bring up the first time I cheated on her. I cheated on her because I was beginning to get nervous about getting married. But she wasn't listening. She was just dictating to me what I needed to do to please her mother and father. She was yelling at me every single day about how stressed she was about wedding planning and all these things but every time I would try to talk to her about how I was feeling, she would just not let me talk. And she does it all the time.”

“So you feel ignored?”

“Yes! Always! All she does is talk, talk, talk over me and never lets me get a word in. Before I cheated, me and her weren't intimate for a month. I went to go talk to her about it and how I missed her and how I missed spending time together and you know what she told me?”

“What?”

“That the conversation was childish and she has work, so too bad.”

“That is not what I said,” I glared at him.

“Well, you might as well have said it that way! Then you wanna talk about how I cheated on my ex-girlfriend with you. I spent years chasing you, Whitley, and you didn't want anything to do with me because I didn't have the money and lifestyle you wanted in a man. So I decided I was through with following you around like a lost puppy and I found someone who wanted me back. And once I found that someone, you couldn't leave me alone. And I admit, I was selfish towards my girlfriend at that time. Cause it didn't matter what I did, man, I couldn't resist you. And you knew I couldn't.”

Dr. Novak looked at me, “Mrs. Wayne, can I ask you a question?”

“Yes,” I wiped my cheeks.

“When Dwayne came in during your wedding and asked you to marry him instead, were you relieved?”

I looked down, “Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I was in love with him and I knew marrying Byron was the wrong thing to do.”

“So was he selfish for taking you from Byron, or was he doing what was right?”

I frowned. I knew the answer but I didn't want to admit it.

“You don't have to answer that, dear,” She turned back to Dwayne, “Now, I'm able to see why you initially cheated. But you said you two were only not intimate for a month. Your affair lasted three months after that. What made you continue to cheat, even after you and your wife seemed to patch things up?”

“I don't know,” Dwayne looked at his fingers.

“I'll tell you why. Cause there was something about that affair that you liked, that's why.”

I shook my head.

“What was it, Mr. Wayne? Did you like… her?” Dr. Novak inquired.

“No.”

“Was she sexually attractive?”

“Yes,” he nodded.

“What made her sexually attractive?”

“I think it was the fact that she was who I turned to after a hard time with my wife. I don’t think it was necessarily her that turned me on.”

“So she was there for you once and you clung onto it. I can tell you aren’t a serial cheater. You're an emotional one. You latched to this woman for months because she just happened to be there and you didn’t want multiple side women.”

“Correct.”

“Why even have her when you and your wife are on good terms after a while?”

“After a while the thought of getting caught was exciting. It was an addicting feeling.”

“Ah, that’s what I was looking for. Your affair started off as lack of attention but you got addicted to the feeling of doing something you shouldn’t be doing. And Whitley isn’t to blame for that.”

“Thank you,” I frowned.

“Yea, but you need to listen to your husband, missy. Conversation is key. To avoid all issues, you need to talk things out, okay?.”

“Okay,” I nodded.

“So, during this conversation I realized you two are in fact in love. You’ve spent years fighting for each other, it won’t stop now. Secondly, Mr. Wayne, you’re egotistical. Thirdly, Mrs. Wayne, you talk too much and don’t listen enough. And lastly, you love each other but you’re too different from one another, so, there’s also a lack of appreciation. Mr. Wayne, you don’t understand Whitley’s ways so you don’t understand the way she loves and vice versa, which can hinder your appreciation for one another. So you know what your homework is tonight?”

“What is it?” Dwayne looked at her.

“When you get home, both you grab a sheet of paper. Save this cause you will be bringing it in next week, by the way. I want you each to write five things you appreciate about your partner. Then share it with each other. Okay?”

“Okay,” I nodded.

Ron

“Luna keeps telling me about how she’s been playing with Dwayne and Whitley’s daughter,” Freddie looked at me, “How are they doing?”

I was at Freddie’s house dropping off Luna. We were sitting at her kitchen table.

“They’re okay. They just bought a house, so they’re out of mine.”

“I’m surprised and a little upset that Whitley hasn’t called me to like meetup or something,” Freddie frowned, “We were all so close at Hillman.”

“Yea, well things change sometimes,” I looked at her, “Plus Whitley and Dwayne are going through quite a lot and they’re just really busy. I’m sure when she’s able to make time, she’ll contact you.”

Freddie half-smiled, “I hope so. Luna’s really quiet in her room, let me make sure she’s not pouring baby powder all over her bed or something,” she got up.

I chuckled as she walked off. Although me and Freddie have our moments where we argue, sometimes things are pretty good and we can just talk like friends. How things used to be.

Her phone began to ring.

“I got it!” I yelled out, hoping she can hear me. I walked to the phone and picked it up, “Hello?”

“Winnie?” It was the sound of a man’s voice.

“Who the hell is this?”

“Lawrence. Who’s this answering Winifred’s phone?”

“The father of her child.”

“Ron!” I heard Freddie laugh nervously, “I got the phone, thank you,” she walked over to me.

I watched her as she spoke on the phone.

“That was Luna’s father, he was just dropping her off,” she smiled on the phone, “When he leaves, I’ll call you, okay?... Okay, talk to you later,” she hung the phone up.

I stared at her.

“Well, Luna wasn't making a mess. She actually fell asleep.”

“Freddie,” I glared at her.

“What?”

“And who was that?” I asked her.

“Just someone I met at school,” she smiled nervously.

“I know you, Freddie. Your dating this guy, aren’t you?”

“I may be,” she looked at me, “So? Don’t you have Micaela?”

“Yea but didn’t you have an issue with Micaela? You have a whole boy toy, but I can’t have a girlfriend?”

“Boy toy? Oh, someone sounds jealous.”

“The only person who’s jealous is you. You don’t want Micaela around because you want me, Freddie.”

“And you pretend you’ve moved on, but you got all defensive when a man called my house. Why’s that Ron?” She got closer to my face.

“Oh, please I did not get defensive. I got confused, that's all.”

“What's there to be confused about?”

“You hounding me about a woman as if you still wanted to be with me. That's what I was confused about.”

“Were you hoping that I did?” She smirked.

“Oh, lets not do this, Freddie.”

“I mean, I know we're no longer together and have separate lives now but if you were to say the attraction isn't still there, you'd be lying,” she looked me in my eyes.

I bit my lip, “That is true,” my hand gently held onto the small of her back.

Freddie’s face got closer and closer, until her lips pressed onto mine.

I pulled away from the kiss, “Your room?”

She smirked, “My room.”

#adifferentworld #adifferentworldfanfic #adw #dwayneandwhitley #whitleyanddwayne #dwayne wayne

51 notes · View notes

sdmn-edits · 8 years ago

Note

1-200

200: My crush’s name is: I don’t actually have a crush anymore😂😂199: I was born in: June198: I am really: weird197: My cellphone company is: Vodafone - it works where i go on holiday so it does me just fine 😂196: My eye color is: it changes - like sometimes its blue, green, grey and a mixture of blue and green - it’s weird .195: My shoe size is: 3 or 4 (5 at a push)194: My ring size is: I’ve never actually had it measured so idk 😂😂193: My height is: 5ft 5 - I’m growing lads!!!192: I am allergic to: waterproof plasters, bee/wasp stings (only mildly though - like i won’t die but just turn into a massive red ball), some soaps, most makeups, chalk and face paint.191: My 1st car was: I can’t even drive yet 😂😂190: My 1st job was: I don’t know if you would class this as a job but for my work experience, I worked at a cafe for two weeks. 189: Last book you read: Jane Eyre (one of my faves)188: My bed is: single - like me😉😂187: My pet: (s) two cats, (which my mum named) one called Mike and the other called Matt. I also have a pony called William (Billy for short)186: My best friend: @paigexxixo @sdmn-md @minibaeminter @wroetoredman @line-sidemen @mintersmini @wroetojill and a girl from irl called Catherine - i couldn’t choose one so have a few of my faves185: My favorite shampoo is: John Frieda Frizz Ease184: Xbox or ps3: PS3 cos I haven’t played XBox183: Piggy banks are: expensive bacon182: In my pockets: by Morrie (who kinda sounds like Marzia which is kinda scary?)181: On my calendar: is my exams😂180: Marriage is: okay? I haven’t had my wedding yet so I don’t know?179: Spongebob can: dance the best.178: My mom: likes to name animals weird names. 😂177: The last three songs I bought were? A candle, some chocolates and a shock absorber.176: Last YouTube video watched: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSAeOhCrv_s175: How many cousins do you have? About 14 give or take 😂 174: Do you have any siblings? One - my sister (she’s 17 - 2 years older than me)173: Are your parents divorced? Nope.172: Are you taller than your mom? I’m the same height maybe a lil smaller 😂 171: Do you play an instrument? Not currently, no. But I can play the drums, recorder and piano/keyboard (not perfectly but alright)170: What did you do yesterday? I played in two tournaments and had a back massage.[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: Idk 😂😂 168: Luck: Yeah I guess.167: Fate: Yeah. 166: Yourself: Mm not all the time 😂😂 165: Aliens: Yeah.164: Heaven: Yeah.163: Hell: Yeah.162: God: Yeah definitely.161: Horoscopes: Some.160: Soul mates: I guess? 😂 159: Ghosts: Yeah.158: Gay Marriage: YES! UNFOLLOW ME AS I DO NOT CARE, I BELIEVE IN EVERYONE HAS RIGHTS TO MARRY WHO THEY WANT, WHEN THEY WANT FIGHT ME IF YOU WANT!!157: War: Definitely not! 156: Orbs: Yeah I guess?155: Magic: Some 😂 [ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs153: Drunk or High: Neither - I don’t do either of them.152: Phone or Online: Depends.151: Red heads or Black haired: Both are equally as cute150: Blondes or Brunettes: Both are equally as cute149: Hot or cold: Warm.148: Summer or winter: Winter147: Autumn or Spring: AUTUMN! IT’S THE BEST SEASON EVER!!!!!!!146: Chocolate or vanilla: Both together cos I’m a weirdo like that 😂😂 145: Night or Day: Night - I love looking at the stars tho I do like to cloud watch from time to time144: Oranges or Apples: Apples.143: Curly or Straight hair: Straight142: McDonalds or Burger King: Maccy D’s all the way😂😂 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Not really a fan of chocolate if I’m honest 😂😂 140: Mac or PC: PC for generic stuff, Mac for editing139: Flip flops or high heals: Neither.138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Ugly and rich so I can give money to charity etc137: Coke or Pepsi: Neither136: Hillary or Obama: Obama135: Burried or cremated: Either, I don’t care I’ll be dead 😂134: Singing or Dancing: Neither 😂😂133: Coach or Chanel: ??132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: ??131: Small town or Big city: Both130: Wal-Mart or Target: Neither 😂😂129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Both are hilarious 😂128: Manicure or Pedicure: Neither 😂127: East Coast or West Coast: ??126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Both?125: Chocolate or Flowers: FLOWERS!!124: Disney or Six Flags: DISNEY!!123: Yankees or Red Sox: ??[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: shouldn’t be a thing.121: George Bush: needs to grow up.120: Gay Marriage: I FULLY SUPPORT IT - UNFOLLOW ME IF YOU WANT!119: The presidential election: irdk? I don’t watch it.118: Abortion: it’s people’s choice117: MySpace: ??116: Reality TV: don’t watch it115: Parents: some do a lot more than others to provide for the kiddas114: Back stabbers: fuck you, ain’t nobody stabbing me in the back113: Ebay: it’s cool, you literally can get anything and everything off of it112: Facebook: it’s okay?111: Work: as in job? do what you wanna do, not what your mum or dad says.110: My Neighbors: very funny. 109: Gas Prices: you make my grades jealous - going up.108: Designer Clothes: i don’t really where designer 😂😂107: College: i like the look of the one I’m intending to go106: Sports: I LOVE THEM (except netball, benchball and basketball - please don’t hate me, i’m just short and i struggle 😂😂)105: My family: they are okay, just fam really.104: The future:i don’t tend to think much of it, i just let it happen 😂😂[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: like 10 mins ago102: Last time you ate: like an hour ago101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: A guy called Daniel (I didn’t see him until last week but I didn’t see him since November)100: Cried in front of someone: Idk 😂 99: Went to a movie theater: Last year - to watch Finding Dory98: Took a vacation: idk 😂 97: Swam in a pool: last year 😂 96: Changed a diaper: never 😂 95: Got my nails done: last august for a wedding - never again94: Went to a wedding: the same wedding 93: Broke a bone: two years ago 92: Got a peircing: two years ago91: Broke the law: never 😂 90: Texted: half an hour ago[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: lots of people 😂😂 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my bed 😂 87: The last movie I saw: Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2 - Ik i’m a kid at heart, don’t judge 😂 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: leaving school85: The thing im not looking forward to: my exams and tomorrow84: People call me: lodes of shit, I ain’t gonna name ‘em all but some people know what they say.83: The most difficult thing to do is: waking up in a morning82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope81: My zodiac sign is: Cancer80: The first person i talked to today was: Mike - the cat but if we talking about people - my dad 😂😂 79: First time you had a crush: 3 years ago78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: nobody, i’m very open 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: idk 😂😂 76: Right now I am talking to: @paigexxixo about bridge to terabithia 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully a graphics designer74: I have/will get a job: hopefully soon73: Tomorrow: school72: Today: sleep71: Next Summer: be fit70: Next Weekend: hopefully ask one of my friends from tennis their details69: I have these pets: cats and pony68: The worst sound in the world: nails dragging on chalk board, people smacking lips, people clicking pens, people shouting, people crying, people laughing, gun shots, explosions etc67: The person that makes me cry the most is: nobody 😂😂 66: People that make you happy: I could list forever65: Last time I cried: earlier - i was watching a vid of these boys crying and it just gets to me64: My friends are: lodes of people - most i have listed before63: My computer is: an acer62: My School: ??61: My Car: Audi A3 2010 model 1.6l?60: I lose all respect for people who: are homophobic, transphobic etc, people who hurt animals and people etc59: The movie I cried at was: ?? 58: Your hair color is: blonde57: TV shows you watch: that 70′s show, merlin, sherlock, heartland, doctor who, phineas and ferb, spongebob, tom and jerry, loony tunes56: Favorite web site: idk 😂😂 55: Your dream vacation: Guernsey, Jersey, Rome or Geneva54: The worst pain I was ever in was: when i either broke my arm, or when i fell off a horse and dislocated my knee and cracked two of my ribs or when i fell off a different horse and almost broke my back53: How do you like your steak cooked: i don’t eat meat or fish 😂😂 52: My room is: 8 year old me’s bad desicion51: My favorite celebrity is: Johnny Depp50: Where would you like to be: some place else49: Do you want children: not particularly48: Ever been in love: nope47: Who’s your best friend: lodes of people46: More guy friends or girl friends: guy friends45: One thing that makes you feel great is: people44: One person that you wish you could see right now: @paigexxixo or @sdmn-md43: Do you have a 5 year plan: nope 😂 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: nope 😂 41: Have you pre-named your children: nope😂 40: Last person I got mad at: *people: Looserpool 39: I would like to move to: either Guernsey, Jersey or Geneva38: I wish I was a professional: tennis player or sleeper 😂 [ My Favorites ]37: Candy: Caramac36: Vehicle: Car (Tesla Model S P100D)35: President: Obama34: State visited: none - I’ve never left England33: Cellphone provider: Vodafone32: Athlete: Jessica Ennis-Hill31: Actor: Johnny Depp/Leo DiCaprio/Patrick Stewart30: Actress: Emma Stone29: Singer: ??28: Band: ??27: Clothing store: ??26: Grocery store: ??25: TV show: I have lodes24: Movie: I have lodes23: Website: I have lodes22: Animal: I love them all21: Theme park: I’ve only ever been to Flamingo Land20: Holiday: Yorkshire Dales or Whitby19: Sport to watch: Football (Soccer)18: Sport to play: Tennis17: Magazine: ??16: Book: Either Jane Eyre or I Capture The Castle15: Day of the week: Saturday14: Beach: idk 😂😂 13: Concert attended: I’ve never been to one 😂 12: Thing to cook: I like to cook all sorts 😂 11: Food: I like all sorts 😂 10: Restaurant: ??9: Radio station: ??8: Yankee candle scent: idk 😂 7: Perfume: idk 😂 6: Flower: Rose, Lily or blossom5: Color: Red or black4: Talk show host: ??3: Comedian: Michael McIntyre, Jack Whitehall, Peter Kay or Russell Howard2: Dog breed: Border Collie1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yes!!!!

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selfawarenesscat1994 · 6 years ago

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accidental long post

i dont normally put trigger warnings but this post speaks a lot about food/binge eating. and i kinda just went off on one haha. talk of money.

im sitting in the office writing this at work cus my boss told me to do the holidays but im done but i need to vent, the store is abso quite and i just need some time to myself.

i have money!

oh my god the relief.

im still gonna be struggling til the end of this month but its not as bad as its been through jan which has been fucking HELL because ive obv been doing my manager job and having all this worry/stress ontop ov it.

i paid my rent +fee and i have enough to cover my bills! !!!!

i bought a bus pass but im gonna probably walk to work when the weather gets less horrible as i acctually didnt mind the walk after a while and i felt a lot fitter adding that exercise into my daily routine. before dropping out of uni, i got quite bad for being the type of person who would go to the gym once or twice a week and justify a lazy existence because of that. the bus is terrible but its the difference of walking 6 miles and being out of the house for like 12 hours a day or whatever and taking a 10 minute bus journey from straight outside my work almost to my front door.

i ordered new earphones becus mine are not working. they were like 6 quid but so worth it. i went into my favourite cosmetic shop and got some nice stuff for my face as its got so flaky and dry and sore. i bought some new combs, not a great expense, no but the last thing on my list of cheap stuff when i didnt hve any money. my hair is short and tuggy and thisll help. i went into a cheaper cosmetics store and bought a lot of cheap shampoo/conditioner, sanitry products n whatnot. i never used to stockpile these so i ended up at the beginning of jan with nothing, i bought a cheap bar of soap for my body and used some of my flatmates stuff (but its expensive so i did it like once a week max). its so nice to have product. its something i never throught was something id miss cos theyre so essntial but i got to the point where i couldnt really afford them because i had bills going out and had to keep my money for other things.

the front door of the flat is drafty so i got the flat a draft exludor on the way. yay.

ive consumed more food/calories in the past day than i probably have in a couple of years - apart from at christmas. last night i bought a milkshake after work. it was thick and tasty and amazing. on my walk home i also bought a bottle of irn bru, which wasnt as good cus i forgot they changed the receipe but ive not drank fizzy drinks regularly in a

i thought it was gonna be enough to fill me up but my body suddenly decided it really wanted to binge and treat myself.

i odered a med pizza with two sides and cookies when i got home from work. i just stuffed my face and ate it all. it was glorious. i went out with my flatmate a bit later and i bought quite a big shop with fresh food but also a lot of tinned/frozen things bcus i know i will be poor at the end of the month. i binged on salad items at like midnight. i ate two eggs, a whole freaking cucumber and pack of tomatoes, along with half a red pepper, a carrot, some spring onion and spinach. fresh food never felt so good. i had fruit and a bagel wiv creme cheese for my breakfast this morning. ive not had breakfast in about 6 months because when i started uni i got so stressed i couldnt eat in the morning and then i couldnt really afford to. and i gave myself some money today to get some lunch. i planned on buying one of those salad meal deals but i ended up at subway, i only got a 6 inch tough cos i think i may have died if i got anything bigger. i did however get 3 cookies on offer, ive only ate one as of yet but the other two are staring me down right now. i was so tempted to go to mcdonalds but i would have binged too hard. my poor stomach which i mentioned before had became a lot flatter probs due to lack of food/a lot of walking is so bloated. i was wearing quite a loose fitting shirt to work and you can just see this big round boi now. customers will think im pregnant fuck me. but its a good bloat. but as i also mentioned ive gained a bit of weight and in the past 24 hours ive probably put on about a stone haha. i probably lost around three inches from my tummy in the past coupla months and now its about 6 inches rounder haha.

i honestly dont regret it. i think if this was a regular thing and i did stuff like this a lot i would probably be different and feel horrible but it was great. i loved all this good food.

im gonna go back to reasonable spending now/eating now. i have some spicy carrot soup i made a fortnight ago in the freezer so im gonna heat the rest of that up tonight for me and my flatmate, if i even feel up for eating and tomorrow i will probably enjoy a cheeky but healthy fruit salad for my working lunch.

sucks my brother took out a loan but im splitting his repayments and we can both afford to pay it off, im sure you can even pay it off wholly early (for a fee though) so i could even do that in a few months time cos i already know ill be due a tax refund, i paid so much tax @ my last jobs before i quit them for uni and ill be taxed here but i didnt earn over the threshold due to my break and il be due loadddss back, so we will see.

im gonna donate at the end of the month to some people on here, im not gonna really examine who ‘deserves it most’ and just do it randomly tbh. thanks to the people who donated to me, it e a lot but it did help as i mentioned before.

sidenote below

sidenote - i dont have an eating disorder. i just binged today and yesterday because ive not been able to enjoy the food i like.

ive always had a bit of a weird relationship with food because ive never been thin and have had some disordered tendancies but nothing thats effected my overall health massively. ive been on countless diets thrughout my life. i dont particularly act like that anymore cos it can be dangerous. id only go on a ‘diet’ if my health was really bad, if i was terribly overweight or if another health condition made me alter my diet. ive also a lot of reckless times where ive just not thought about what ive eat... queue the time i ate a whole selection box and half a tub of ben and jerries for my lunch or the time i only ate a loaf and a half of bread in a day and though ‘ah this is enough calories its fine’. but i think thats moreso bpd. if ive been having a bad time with my mental health i wont care about whats being put in my body. but its not been driven through a desrie to be thinner/bigger ever.

ive been poor recently and not been living on the best of foods (will probably explain why ive gained weight) but i have been mostly cooking from scratch using frozen meat/fish/veg and tined foods (thank god for bootstrap cooking, am i right???), on occasion i bought fresh veg or meat but thats it. the rest of the food i was eating when i was poor and well still will be eating for the next month was and i try to limit this because i know its really unhealthy has been instant ramen/noodles/soups/rice, breaded frozen meat and frozen garlic bread and chips. snackwise its been like those 10p packs of buiscuits and ive also been baking when i can mostly using my flatmates stuff. if my flatmate was making food and had excess id sometimes have some if she offered but thats been it.

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decadenttimetravelmentality-blog · 6 years ago

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Cheap auto insurance in tampa. less then 75 month?

"Cheap auto insurance in tampa. less then 75 month?

Cheap auto insurance in tampa. less then 75 month?

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