#im gonna cry i never know what to put in the tags
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luck-of-the-drawings · 7 months ago
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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cheswirls · 7 months ago
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looking @ old fic i started when i was 14/15 is so funny bc im realizing once again why i never mark fics as abandoned even if its been literal years since i've touched them. specifically i was checking docs for stuff i started and either did or didn't post to ffn.
and its like. nothing is bad??? like i can see where my outside-the-box ideal of fic writing comes from. not just fics but writing in general, i'm p sure. even if it's a total cliche plot setup, there are details on each that rly make it stand out like oh yeahhhhhh i did have this great idea once upon a time.
funny too bc was it executed well in prose??? no absolutely not i wrote like shit when i was 15. would i revive an idea one day and revise it to be less cliche or cringy while still keeping the stand-out elements??? yea maybe. i might. everything i'm currently working on that i started from 2021 up to now still holds my supreme interest, but like i'm not gonna say never.
esp since i write fic first and foremost for my own need and specifically what i like to read, it makes it impossible to consider an idea i've thought extensively about "not worth writing anymore". anyway not making this too long i jus found everything interesting to consider
#writing#this fic i pulled up from JUNE 2014 crazy was the old chosenshi au i was trying to write for a friend#i dont ship blue/silver and never will and thats prolly why i never finished it#but i do still like!! the idea of rocket!blue raised w silver and breaking free of tr while running the hoenn branch#no idea how i remembered bc it wasnt in the plot pts on the doc but she was gonna get sent to the battle frontier#to nab jirachi and have encounters w frontier brains and change her mind at the end of it all#hell i could go back and not make it ship fic at all - have silver be a little one-sided obsessed or#even jus like.. attached to blue as a rivalry like as a way to show her up at every turn#another fic around the same time was the old pokespe hs au where i changed all the dexholder's names for some reason#i have no idea where i was in reading spe bc i put lyra in for some reason and had the sinnoh trio even tho i never read past v2 of dp#idk if it was more gameverse or what but its so funny looking @ the ship list n seeing i had gold paired w black#bc i had manga!ss and manga!ferriswheel so was it rly speverse or was i projecting????#actually i think black was supposed to die and gold was gonna go thru this whole thing abt grieving#looking at the ship list so funny bc i never shipped gold/crys or entourageshi#and clearly i did not know the superiority of pmshi if i threw lyra in jus for silver#god but i do love (most!) of the alt names i gave them#would absolutely fuck up the ship list if i ever redid it tho#also have perfectworld tho im sure i have the most recent rewrite on pen and paper somewhere#that one i also gave up bc the idea i had for flare!sycamore was cringe along with#every time i went back to work on it enough time passed that i thought my writing sucked#i rewrote that damn thing so many times but oooooooo i still love the idea#as long as i changed the cringe parts to smth better i could still rock w most of these#that fic rly had everything... psychic!korrina. leaf/serena. sycamore hacking the secret to mega evo. lys/syc that ends in failure#bc of the ending line i will never forget > only in a perfect world could you and i be together. destined and doomed from the start#im rambling n im boutta run outta tags gimme a sec
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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
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I wanted to write in about my thoughts on Jo as a CSA survivor separately for a couple of reasons:
I already more or less have what I have to say on the topic in order thanks to talks with @starssystem and another friend [<3]
This is a massive tonal shift from anything else I could be discussing
This Is Massive In General For The Love Of God PLEASE Help Me
Obvious CSA CW for anyone else reading; I only discuss statistics, psychology, and the aftereffects seen in survivors here, but it's worth a warning.
With the disclaimers out of the way… I'd mentioned before I've only ever added one thing to Jo's background, and you were right: this is it! To me, there's so much thematic overlap in Jo's narrative with the experience of surviving CSA it's worth it to examine his character through the lens of that being the case. Of course, there are clearly-stated reasons for it all that Aren't That, but…
It's the pervasive guilt and shame, the lifelong secret that becomes too unbearable not to tell, the faulty coping mechanisms aimed at burying the trauma without having to face it, the reluctance to be sincere [vulnerable] and the lies and half-truths used to maintain the facade of invulnerability, the pursuit of power and control and the knee-jerk anger response when it's threatened, the pursuit of mastery over his body and the indifference to what happens to it. And the way a lot of it really does stem from a deeply traumatic childhood sexual experience from before either he or Ikumi understood what they were getting into, from before they could give informed consent.
Statistically, the further below the average age someone is for their first time, the likelihood of [at best] having been introduced to sex inappropriately and [at worst] having been abused at the time or earlier rises exponentially. Jo was 15 when Masato was conceived--possibly 14, since he was saying he "met" Arakawa at 15, and by then Masato was already born. To put this into perspective, since what ages register as concerning is largely cultural, the average age in the US and UK is 16-18. But in Japan, it's over 19.
To a Westerner [or even a heavily Westernized non-Westerner], having a kid at 15 is unfortunate, but not untenable; you've seen it on TV, you might know people like that, you might even be that kid or that parent. But in Jo's case, with him being 4 or 5 years younger than average, it's like if someone told you they had their first time--had a /kid/--at 13 or under. That's the equivalent discrepancy. That /is/ concerning, to me.
It's also something that's linked to negative outcomes in adulthood, partly because of the likelihood of forming bonds with poorly-adjusted peers. Jo specifically states he and Ikumi were only together because others who came from backgrounds like his own were all he had back then. [As an aside, it's interesting to see him instinctively seek out a relationship where his pain would be understood without having to say anything--or one where he could assume it would, at any rate.]
When it comes to his relationship with Ikumi, I've always felt there was this "adult dynamic" between them--in the sense it feels like one that'd be more fitting for adults to get into than a couple of teens. It was, based on his wording, a primarily physical relationship neither of them expected to last even if they were living together. To me, it's one thing if you're fully convinced you're in love or you're experimenting or whatever and that results in an unplanned pregnancy, but it's another thing entirely to have such a bleak yet objective outlook on your relationship so young.
And it didn't have to be that way. He could've been just like Arakawa, head-over-heels in love with this girl who was The Only Good Thing He Had Going, or something like that. But the sheer contrast between how Arakawa was crazy about Akane and never forgot about her for the rest of his life, while Jo more-or-less-clearly didn't have feelings for Ikumi and can't bring himself to remember her name after living with her for at least a year and experiencing life-changing events with her…
It's notable to me that Arakawa maintains an interest in women while nearly every in-character interpretation I've seen makes Jo averse to women. Obviously, we don't really know that; it's probably just based on his general attitudes, his contrast with Arakawa, and maybe his immunity to Charm. But I think there's a reason a lot of people pick up on it and tie it to trauma rather than/in addition to a lack of interest in women.
I've talked about this through the lens of comphet already [and Jo being gay or ace or both would present other difficulties], but I can't overstate how notable it is on its own. We see Jo's response to traumatic events, and it's to become preoccupied with them, to investigate further if he has any leads. That's why he remembers every minute detail of the night Masato was born and the time he saw Arakawa attempt to comfort Masato when he was crying and hitting himself. I think it's also why he gets as far as he does when looking into Arakawa's death, and why he entrusts the search to Ichi. He never seems to manage to block them out, even if that's what he'd rather do--even if that's what he thinks he's doing.
So if he "[doesn't] even remember" the name of the mother of his child, I get the feeling there's something more going on. Like I've [probably] said in the past, Jo genuinely sounds traumatized by the relationship as a whole. More than anything else he's been through, and he's been through a lot. It's often the case that CSA survivors who are also survivors of other trauma view it as worse than anything else that happened to them.
And that's not to implicate Ikumi at all, I don't think it's a case of COCSA--everything I've said holds just as true for her, and she had to suffer the additional trauma of an unwanted pregnancy and childbirth, at that. Rather, I think it would make sense for something like CSA, which often incontrovertibly reconfigures one's relationship with sex and love, to be a factor in why they rushed into a something physical before they were mature enough to handle it.
Some victims end up having perfectly healthy experiences, some victims end up avoiding them, some victims end up re-victimized, and some victims end up with a mixed bag--there's a lot of variation. But some victims do end up having relationships like this and making mistakes like this, because that's all they know, or because they want to heal but don't [or don't know how to] go about it in a healthy way, at a healthy pace. And I definitely think if you recognize that's what the basis of your relationship was, that it all comes back to something you'd rather forget, it'd make sense to want to forget the relationship as a whole.
To that end, it's possible to come away from a relationship traumatized even if no one did anything wrong. I've [probably] talked about how the way Jo comforts her at the station feels like he's doing it for her sake and pushing his own feelings down, but neither of them is really buying it. If that's a pattern in their relationship, perhaps he wouldn't have been able to communicate if maybe what they were doing was dredging up bad memories, if he wanted to stop but didn't think she did. So to go through with it, then get the news months later…
Either way, the fact Ikumi couldn't bring herself to tell him she was pregnant until nothing could be done would, for Jo, invariably cement the feeling he has no control over what happens around him. I think the sense of powerlessness he felt is why he blew up at her when she told him, because it's really the only time we see him lash out like that at her. At the park, he objects to going back for Masato, sure, but he's passive. And I think that unbroken pattern of powerlessness in his life [which CSA would only compound on] is why he's so reactionary, why he's so emotionally dysregulated, why he expresses his rage through what basically amounts to power-tripping.
But I do think Jo does have a great deal of awareness. A lot of his wording when he's telling Ichi about it borders on poetic, or at the very least candid and effective. That requires both prior reflection and a command of language. I think there's a lot he understands deep down, at least after sitting with it for long enough, but he isn't capable of voicing--or doesn't know how to voice--what's on his mind, most of the time.
So when he joins the Arakawa Family, when he rises the ranks and has that control back, his control has to be near-absolute. If it's undermined in any way--such as, for example, a certain someone failing to answer a call within two rings--he loses it. On the other side of the coin, I do feel a lot of why his devotion and gratitude towards Arakawa goes to the extent it does, why he's so comfortable with him, is because Arakawa gave him the safety of the Arakawa Family, gave him back his autonomy, gave him the environment--and treated him with enough humanity to give him the reason--to learn to regulate himself, to better himself.
And Arakawa /gets/ trauma. He really does. Aside from his own abusive background, literally the only time the word trauma comes out of any character's mouth in this series, it's Arakawa's. It comes back to Jo saying others who came from backgrounds like his own were all he had; that never changed, did it?
Lastly, For Funsies [<- LIE. COMPLETE LIE. TURN BACK NOW] I wanted to go through the items on this [CSA] Survivors' Aftereffects Checklist I could check off with near-certainty. 19/34, by the way, give or take. Now, as I said at the beginning, there are existing concrete reasons for why he has many of these experiences… but it's like the trans allegory with Masato, To Me… If I can check off over half the list based on a very limited backstory and an hour of screen time total, that's indicative of a notable overlap… TO ME…
Note that the book this list is from was published in 1990 and focuses on women's experiences. It was a huge step forward in giving survivors a voice back when a lot of existing research indicated CSA had neutral or even positive effects on children, but it's definitely a product of its time. With that out of the way…
Wearing a lot of clothing, even in summer […]
To be fair, most male characters in RGG are fully-covered and have near-unchanging designs, and it's winter in both 2000/2001 and presumably 2019, but… when it comes to Jo, it feels a little different.
He does have Some Heavage in his twenties [although the necklace takes the attention off of his actual chest], but as time goes on, he shows less and less skin and adds more and more layers. When he has the gloves on, it leaves no skin exposed at all, and there's this direct symbolic correlation with secrecy that isn't there for other characters. And if you're wearing three layers of leather [or even one], you can neither feel what you're touching nor feel anything touch you.
Pure Speculation, but I just can't really see him underdressed for any occasion… That's why his fit in Day with the Sun is funny as hell but also… yeah…
As a behavior, if it's rooted in anything, it's probably rooted in having to hide signs of physical abuse, of course--but then he kind of already had an excuse, with how he was constantly getting into fights. I guess it depends on the specifics, but I think it's interesting to consider this as one way CSA victims attempt to regain control of their bodies, avoiding emotional discomfort at the cost of physical discomfort.
Self-destructiveness
It's nothing super overt, but I see this most clearly represented in his second boss fight in particular; his willingness to wield a blade bare-handed while using enough force he could very well render his hand useless. I think it's potentially also evident in how he has severe cataracts he chooses to ignore and allow to worsen, despite having the reasons and resources to undergo surgery to restore his vision. In doing so, he literally and figuratively blinds himself to so much.
I also kind of think the assassination of Hoshino/the anonymous call and The Eye Scene are examples of self-sabotage. I mean, he literally was sabotaging himself in the former, but it's also the specific way he feels the need to be physically taken down in order to be stopped--possibly a holdover from RGGJo, who's only too happy to be beaten into a coma.
I don't know… It's hard to pinpoint, but I feel like he would be averse to most of the more "obvious" self-destructive behaviors--especially when he has people in his life who might notice and worry, like Ikumi and Arakawa. That and because many of them are addictive. He's seen what that's done to his father, and he's also developed this incredibly rigid sense of discipline he can't maintain if he doesn't have a clear head.
From how he talks about himself [as having lost his humanity and lived a half-assed life], I definitely think he's at the very least unkind to himself, but I also think he does externalize it by provoking others to harm him [in the case of physical fights] and reject him. Like he needs some kind of proxy perpetrator. For some abuse victims, this specific manifestation of self-destructive behavior is a way to regain control--whether or not you "deserved it" back then, you do now, as a direct, logical result of your actions.
Need to be invisible, perfect, or perfectly bad
I think each of these needs manifests in different ways for Jo. The need to be invisible can be seen with authority figures (mainly Aoki, but also Arakawa in The Yubitsume Scene, a little; how drastically he pulls back and tries to act "normal")--this relates to what you were talking about with being reluctant to intrude or take up space. If you fall under the radar, maybe you won't get hurt.
The need to be perfect can be seen in his seemingly "impossible" standards, I would say. Of course, because we see things from Ichiban's perspective, we tend to see them as unfair and often arbitrary demands. But they aren't arbitrary to Jo, are they? They're standards he holds himself to through and through. If you're good, maybe you won't get hurt.
The need to be perfectly bad can be seen in and relates to much of what I discussed under self-destructiveness [The Eye Scene and the way he antagonizes Ichiban specifically by making himself out to be worse than he is]. If you must get hurt, it can at least "make sense"--be "deserved."
Suicidal thoughts, attempts, obsession (including "passive suicide")
Obviously he's not like�� Mine Levels Of Overtly And Consistently Suicidal, and he doesn't attempt suicide himself, but at the same time, I have to note his total ambivalence towards Aoki seeing him as a "bullet" (a kind of hitman sent on suicide missions). He agreed to what he himself viewed as a suicide mission and he didn't care what would happen to him afterward, as he says to Joon-gi, Zhao, and Adachi.
Aside from that, I certainly feel he's at least had passive thoughts like wanting to disappear or wishing he'd never been born. Y'know. Nothing concrete, but reflective of his mental state, and just as detrimental to dwell on long-term.
I think there's a sort of childishness [for lack of a better word] to thoughts like these [in that they're impossible], but also a level of maturity in that it probably doesn't escalate to something more actionable because he understands he has responsibilities he can't abandon. I think if he was ever seriously suicidal, it would be at the points of his life where he really didn't have any responsibility to anyone, like between Ikumi leaving and him joining the family, or after he was arrested.
Depression (sometimes paralyzing) […]
I'm trying not to over explain going forward because I Have BEEN Overexplaining It Is SUCH A Disaster… he's depressed If You Have Eyes And/Or Ears… I'll leave it at that…
Anger issues; inability to recognize, own, or express anger; constant anger […]
Lol
Rigid control of one's thought process; humorlessness or extreme solemnity
Relates back to what I was saying about how disciplined he is [and expects everyone else to be], but in general, he's incredibly, incredibly serious and focused. I don't think he's /entirely/ humorless [but then again, very few people are]; I just think his specific sense of humor is. Like. What Is Your Problem [I Know What Your Problem Is I Have Been Discussing It In EXCRUCIATING Detail But What The Fuck Is Your Problem]
Trust issues; inability to trust (trust is not safe); total trust; trusting indiscriminately
That's why he was planning on taking his secret to the grave, isn't it? It was only when faced with the realization it would soon be too late to say anything that he was able to tell Ichiban. He could've trusted Arakawa, should've been able to, but… in his mind he never could.
This book [and this checklist] is about "incest" actually, but it redefines "incest" to mean any instance of CSA perpetrated by any individual the victim trusts or has an expectation of being able to implicitly trust. Which… is most CSA as we understand it today, so I've edited some parts to just say that.
Anyway, I've never given much thought to the specifics of what Jo might've experienced--who did it, what happened, how long it went on, etc.--so there's no conclusion I can draw here [and elsewhere, I'm sure]… but even without that, to grow up unable to trust the one person who should be in his corner, his father, and to have his trust betrayed by Ikumi, it's no surprise Jo ended up like this either way. So… I'm happy he had the courage to tell Ichi, in the end.
High risk taking ("daring the fates"); inability to take risks
I think these are supposed to be mutually exclusive, but to me, Hoshino's assassination and Arakawa's assassination represent both sides of the coin, although they're not the only examples. There are risks Jo won't think twice about taking and risks that paralyze him.
Boundary issues; control, power, territoriality issues; fear of losing control; obsessive/compulsive behaviors (attempts to control things that don't matter, just to control something)
Lol…
Guilt, shame; low self-esteem, feeling worthless; high appreciation of small favors by others
Lmao Even…
Feeling demand to "produce and be loved"; instinctively knowing and doing what the other person needs or wants; relationships mean big tradeoffs (love was taken, not given)
I actually think this encapsulates a lot of what I've been saying about his work ethic, his ideas of discipline, and his relationship with Ikumi, but I also think it's why Masato took a liking to him. His attentiveness. It ties back into wanting to be perfect; when you're abused--especially long-term--you become attuned to observing and responding to any shifts in mood or tone. This is another area where I can't draw any conclusions relevant to my point, but it does certainly relate to his father's abuse, at any rate.
Abandonment issues
Kind of contentious… The anticipation of being abandoned by or losing someone he cares about appears to be worse than the actual experience. He's fine with Ikumi leaving him, and he's… not Fine With, but able to come to terms with Arakawa's death and Aoki's abandonment of him. At the same time, he really does try to make Ikumi's stay in his life comfortable, and he spends almost forty years doing his damnedest to keep his family together, whatever the cost. If I were to extrapolate from RGGJo, though, /he/ does have an obsessive, unhealthy attachment to Arakawa.
Blocking out some period of early years (especially 1–12); or a specific person or place
Ikumiiiiii that's what I'm SAYINGGGG
Feeling of carrying an awful secret; urge to tell, fear of its being revealed; certainty no one will listen; being generally secretive […]
Rofl Perhaps…
Denial; […] repression of memories; pretending; minimizing ("it wasn't that bad") […]
He admits to it himself. Not much else to say. Though I don't think he necessarily minimizes what he's been through by dismissing how bad it was; rather, he tends to overestimate his ability to move past it.
Pattern of ambivalent or intensely conflictive relationships (intimacy is a problem; also focus shifted from [CSA] issues)
Also kind of contentious… we don't see a pattern of romantic relationships, as I assume the author meant here, but at the same time, the romantic relationship and non-romantic relationships we do see fit this pattern. I guess I'd say I definitely think intimacy /would/ be a problem, and he /wouldn't/ be ready to address his issues.
Limited tolerance for happiness; active withdrawal from happiness, reluctance to trust happiness ("ice=thin")
The quote that prompted this ask in the first place. It's sort of connected to the point about humorlessness and extreme solemnity; if that was the "what," this is the "why." He doesn't know how to relax ["holidays don't exist" and all], he doesn't have much to be happy about, but even rarer is the occasion where he doesn't feel too conflicted in the moment to be able to enjoy himself. That's just how I see him.
[…] verbal hypervigilance (careful monitoring of one's words); quiet-voiced, especially when needing to be heard
EXACTLY what I was talking about in this ask, so I'm leaving that one up to past me…
......
... That's It That's The Essay I'm going to hibernate until Infinite Wealth comes out and somehow refutes my points but UNTIL THEN. Farewell, take care, and once more, don't worry too much about matching my energy… Like I Said if I were the one receiving this ask I'd just delete my blog, so… I'll just be happy to know you read it :] If That lmao
ok i read it :) 👁️👁️ READMYTAGSTHERESMORETHEREIPROMISE
#long post#cw csa#doublin up to add cw warnins in the tags just in case <3 lemme know if i should throw more tags down here..... im bad at cw tags....#i forget my bookmark tag for asks from you i stg if i cant find this ask in the future im kmsing (in minecraft) immediately#snap chats#THE SNORT I MADE AT THE DEADPAN 'LOL'☠️ maybe i SHOULDVE put text In The Main Text i have A Lot of Thoughts..#im leavin the main text empty since. ngl i was just gonna compare/contrast to myself again... and say a lot of what weve said b4..#UNFORTUNATELY a lot of the things listed here uhmmmm Hm <3 Uh Oh <3 i do understand. Dare I Say personally. just a bit#I DO HAVE TO DISCLAIM ive never been a survivor of THOSE circumstances or really. any abuse tbh- brain just sucks and im a baby#and i cant say no BUT ANYWAY I HAVE REASONS FOR BEIN AN EGOTIST I SWEAR its cause I Somewhat had those exps/i understand them#i can REAAAALLLYY easily see where your points are coming from.... very easily even... like very in-depth..#even if i didnt cry bout spilled milk every other day it IS clear to see the signs of abuse in sawashiro once you know them#i've def talked bout those aspects of him whether in tag rambles or in streams or have Attempted to express it via fics#so really the bits to chew on for me esp this time round is the more CSA aspects#tbh when it comes to bein unable to see him intimate or 'underdressed' i agree: incredibly hard for me to imagine#the thing with 'symptoms' of abuse is that they kinda overlap i guess ??#in that regard it can either be a need to impress or protect himself/needing to be seen less#when it comes to doing certain things because of CSA i could see it as a result of another abuse too. if that makes sense#THOUGH THAT ISNT TO DISCREDIT THE IDEA nono cause there still exists the Now That I Think About It circumstances of masato#even if we look at it through Western Norms(TM) two- essentially homeless- kids having. A Kid is still bizarre#cause again teen pregnancies generally happen as a result of Bein Irresponsible With A Schoolmate- not that other situations cant exist#but thats the most common innit so. def an aspect to consider. All Things Considered. esp jo's self-separation from ikumi#BUT YEAH i feel like if i try to respond im just gonna end up typing up a textbook bout abuse since. UNFORTUNATELY#childhood psychology is my field of interest. and aint no one readin THAT phat thing. esp when ill prob repeat myself or you ☠️#tbh remindin meself of when i said id write psyche papers on mine and/or jo.... oops 👀💋👀 savin this to steal notes from LOL#i hope yo know i WAS thoroughly intrigued reading this. As Ive Said childhood psyche is Literally My Field and this is v thorough and good#so im always interested in readin bout How X Caused Y in Z... very interesting many MANY things to think about.. ty...#forever cursed to be an idiot cause i really wish i could talk better and say somethin of substance.. ik you said its fine but still..#im always open to chat bout this more if youd like PLEASE dont think my lack of Main Text is disinterest Im Just Stupid. But We Know That
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4suitedplayingcard · 2 years ago
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so i just finished listening to The Champion of Ennui today. my suspicions abt hylics being a secretly depressing game were right.
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imaginesig · 4 months ago
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Documenting A Propsal
Paul Aron x Leclerc!Reader
Your engagement as documented by your brothers girlfriend.
I’m editing this while watching the Hungarian GP— Paul what are we doing?? This isn’t how we win championships?? Let’s come back better please
imessages
to Alex Saint Mleux
from Yn Leclerc
hey i was on instagram and im not able to see your account
Hey thats so weird
i just saw some stuff that insta is glitching
oh ok
it messes up all the time so im assuming this is one of those mass breaks
i guess your right
in that case can you let me know where you got that dress from your last post
the link is coming your way!!
alexandrasaintmleux (private)
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liked by mama_leclerc, paularon_, charles_leclerc, and 123 others
alexandrasaintmleux: best part about dating someone with a little sister? She doesn't know she's getting proposed to in a week but I do!!!
tagged no one
mama_leclerc the sweetest!!! Just who my girl needs ❤️❤️
charles_leclerc she doesn’t know and I don’t know how to feel
Paularon_ thank you so much for agreeing to help!!
Alexandrasaintmleux planning on documenting the whole thing!! I hope she believes our lie and doesn’t find out she’s blocked 🤞🤞🤞
annaron_ I'm so unbelievably excited
alexandrasaintmleux same!! messaging you right now about a engament dinner theme
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alexandrasaintmleux (private)
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alexandrasaintmleux: just some fine tuning!! Thank you @/maxverstappen1 for distracting her while we walked through the plan
tagged no one
maxverstappen I’m never taking her to play paddle again
Charles_leclerc she’s a bit competitive
arthur_leclerc and mean
lorenzotl and intense
paularon_ and scary
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alexandrasaintmleux (private)
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liked by charles_leclerc, mama_leclerc, paularon_, and 142 others
alexandrasaintmleux: since Paul can't post it, "last race as bf-gf"
tagged: no one
paularon_ ❤️❤️
mama_leclerc beautiful pictures ❤️❤️
arthur_leclerc I don’t like how this makes me feel 😭
annaron_ crying
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alexandrasaintmleux (private)
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liked by nailartist, charles_leclerc, Francisca.cgomez, and 281 others
alexandrasaintmleux: wonderful job by @/nailartist!! Our girl is all photo ready 💅
tagged: no one
nailartist it was a honor to do these special nails!! They’re gonna be gorgeous with the bling 💍💍
alexandrasaintmleux thank you!!!
mama_leclerc I love the matching nails!!
Charles_leclerc beautiful
Alexandrasaintmleux ❤️❤️
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Alexandrasaintmleux (private)
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liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, lorenzotl, and 182 others
alexandrasaintmleux: first, a sister date (plus Leo) and now off to her special night!!
tagged: no one
fransica.cgomez so so excited!!
charles_leclerc im not ready
arthur_leclerc me either
Lorenzotl we can still stop them, steal the boat
alexandrasaintmleux who are you acting so big and bad for?? All of you cried when Paul told you he was proposing
charles_leclerc I was exposed by my own girlfriend 😭😭
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alexandrasaintmleux (private)
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alexandrasaintmleux: floral dinner party to celebrate 🩵
tagged: no one
charles_leclerc you’ve done a wonderful job planning and setting this up!!
mama_leclerc thank you sweet girl for all the work and time you’ve put into making this so special for Y/n!! Not only have you helped guide Paul and make his plans come to life, you planned a wonderful event to celebrate in a way Y/n will love!!!
alexandrasaintmleux 😭❤️❤️
Lorenzotl the floral theme came to life
annaaron_ we plan a great celebration!!
alexandrasaintmleux i say we start a bussiness
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Alexandrasaintmleux posted a story
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Caption: she said yes!!! My beautiful bride to be 🫶💍✨
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ynleclerc
I’m crying I love you!!!!
Omg I just stalked your account, that’s so sweet😭😭
It was Paul’s idea to document everything but he couldn’t post it
You’re the best 🥹🥹
I love you baby sis
I love you too Alex
ynleclerc
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Liked by charlie_leclerc, alexandrasaintmleux, paularon_, and 837, 948 others
ynleclerc: good time to say I have a crush on him??
Tagged: paularon_
Paularon_ 🩵🩵
arthur_leclerc can't you be normal
ynleclerc Paul wants me despite my quirks
Arthur_leclerc quirks?? girl thats mental illness
alexandreasaintmleux my gorgeous gorgeous bride to be!!
ynleclerc you are the best🫶💋
Charles_leclerc I cried the whole time you guys were gone
ynleclerc awww char 🫶
lorenzotl I love you baby sis
ynleclerc i love you too
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paularon_
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Liked by aronralf, annaaron_, ynleclerc, and 823,928 others
Paularon_: my forever date 🩵
Tagged: ynleclerc
ynleclerc forever and always
annaaron_ i cant wait for a sister in law
paularon_ im scared for what you two can will get into
aronralf so proud! Congrats!!
paularon_ thank you!!
charles_leclerc the plan was perfect
arthur_leclerc you really know our sister
paularon_ i'd like to think so
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fanaticsnail · 5 months ago
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we love unhinged dirty thoughts >w> they're funnnnn!!!! and aslkdjlkgf if you want my unhinged, tired flavour thought of the day- it is thusly... luffy could ostensibly get off from getting any part of his body being used as a stim chew toy. which is a v v fascinating thought, at least to us >w> - @remisloves
Oh, Remi. I love you. I see your Luffy wanting to be a chew toy and raise you a Kid wanting to be topped and dominated...
Told You You'd Like It
Masterlist Here
Word Count: 1,700+
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Synopsis: You suggested something new in the bedroom, and your boyfriend immediately shot it down. You thought that's where the conversation ended, it had now flung from your thoughts never to be thought of by you again. Unbeknownst to you, Eustass Kid was consumed by the thought so much he almost thought on nothing else.
Warnings: Eustass Kid x gn!reader, penetration (reader and Kid receiving), rough smut, anal (Kid receiving), MDNI, 18+, smut, little to no plot, Kid is a switch, dumbification (Kid), Kid is into it.
Notes: I am a little loopy today and thought I'd try something new. Please read the warnings, do not read if it makes you uncomfortable!
Tag list: @sordidmusings @feral-artistry @since-im-already-here @writingmysanity @indydonuts @gingernut1314 @i-am-vita @carrotsunshine @mfreedomstuff @daydreamer-in-training
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The first time you suggested the idea to him, Eustass Kid scoffed, berated you, and tied you to the bed and showed you exactly who was the dominant one in this relationship. The amount of times he coaxed orgasm after orgasm out of you, putting you in your place as your mind was spared of all thoughts other than how good his hand, lips and cock felt on your skin, had you regret ever suggesting such a notion. 
You had assumed the conversation died there: no more offerings of railing Eustass Kid and attempting something new in the bedroom he was yet to experience. Taking that into consideration, you refused to ask him again out of fear of the fact he'd make you cum on his metal hand again. 
But then he thought about it more. 
The thought alone of being topped, pleasure being pressed into him as he had done so many times before to you, was intriguing. He was wondering how it would feel, having you enter him and stretch his puckered and unexplored hole with your hands or anything else you wanted to try him with. 
And then he thought about it even more. Thinking about how it would feel to reach his depths, picturing how hard he would cum, or if he would even cum at all. The curiosity never ceased, and he needed to know exactly how it felt.
As he fucked you with his cock, his hips smacking with your body and watching your ass ripple with every thrust, he could picture nothing else than what it would feel like if you did the same to him. 
Would you grip his hips as hard as he gripped yours now? Would you bully his ass the same way that he was bullying you? Would he cry out with his eyes rolling back, contracting around you as you were around his cock now? Would he be loud, biting down on the mattress the same way you were, empty of all other thoughts than the way you'd feel caressing his depths?
“K-Kid I'm gonna-... I'm gonna c-cum-... Please can I cum? Please?” you whimpered, your body twitching and overstimulated as you pulsed over his throbbing shaft. He growled your name, forcing your back into a low arch as he pummeled himself into you harder and deeper. 
“Cum, fucking cum now. Cum on my cock,” he barked his order, feeling you ring and contract as you screamed his name through your bliss. He was not far after, painting your insides with ribbons of his cum while whining and panting into your shoulder. He bit down on the back of your neck as he felt his release spurt and splash back within your body. 
After spending time tidying, cleaning up your joint release and bringing back you both your favorite drink, he slung his arm loosely around your shoulders and drew you in close to him. 
Shifting up to look at him, you study his scarred face and noticed something behind his eyes. His gaze was fixed on the wooden wall in front of him, his lips falling into a line and staring vacantly ahead. 
“Are you okay, honey?” your soft question drew him out of his prior hypnosis, his eyes softening with a soothing smile drawing up his lips. 
“Yeah, m’alright Sunshine. Don't you worry, alrigh’?” he responded while muffling his voice against your temple, placing a soft kiss atop your skin. Humming against his touch, you lean into his embrace and nuzzle against his bare chest. 
“So long as you're sure,” you murmur to your lover, pressing your lips to his clavicle and nestling against him to begin to fall asleep. As your breathing evened, you fell into a soft and blissful slumber, your body spent and finally ushering you into the arms of rest. 
Eustass Kid would only dream of being so lucky. No sleep found him as he was consumed by the thoughts of you violating his body, entering his ass and bucking into him with reckless abandon. As the fifth hour of unrest drove him into the wee hours of the dawn, he could no longer stand the thought.
You felt your shoulders shake, waking you from your peace and forcing you to immediately draw up arms and ready yourself for a fight.
“What is it? Pirates, marines, bounty hunters?” you hushed your tone, reaching down and tugging your jacket up to place your arms into, “They above deck? Let's move-.” Kid’s arm clapped around yours, halting you as he gazed intensely into your eyes. 
“-I want you to fuck me in the ass,” he said humorlessly and in the absence of all mismeaning. His eyes holding nothing but all sincerity, almost sheepish in asking you such a request as soon as you woke.
After taking a moment, you held your eyes with his and slowly shrugged the jacket from your shoulders and placed it to the side. Deeply inhaling through your nose, you release a lengthy exhale and attempt to collect your thoughts and lower your heartbeat from the earlier adrenaline spike. 
“And you couldn't wait until the morning?” you slowly drawled at him, glaring up at him through your eyelashes. He shook his head, offering you a soft pout and widening his eyes innocently. You groan and roll your head on your shoulders in disdain for the lack of a full night's rest. 
“Okay,” you nod, gently coaxing him to lie on his back and crawl through his legs, “We'll start small and work our way up to-.”
“-No,” he uttered quietly. You lulled your head to the side, scanning over his face for any inhibitions. Upon finding only a sheepish grimace, his eyes lowered to the ground, and a warm blush rising up his cheeks, you slowly smirk and look down your nose at him with your brow arched high. 
When Kid met your eyes once more, the look you had was foreign to him. Looking possessed, consumed with desire and feral with lust, Kid gulped back his nerves and rounded his caramel eyes up at you. 
“Alright, pretty boy,” you smirk down at him, giving his chin a gentle tap with your index and middle fingers, “Lay on your stomach and arch your back.” You inched your way off him, aiding him to unceremoniously flip onto his belly. Gifting him an ‘L-shaped’ pillow from your side of the bed, you place his chin in the corner and rest it beneath his arms cradling his chest. 
“You're gonna regret not letting me work up to it,” you run your fingers down his spine, halting just above his ass cheeks before you grab at the taut muscles, “But if you're that adamant about it, I'll just go straight in.”
As tears began to sting the corner of his eyes, he bit down on the mattress while feeling your pelvis meet with his in a repetitive buck. You had warmed and stretched him with your fingers as best as you could without his impatience getting the better of him, but as soon as you drew down to the hilt, it was like a switch had been flipped inside Eustass Kid. 
He couldn't think, breathe or move without feeling how far his body stretched to accommodate your actions. Each cruel piston felt all too foreign, but oh so good. He was drunk on the feeling, his body completely dominated and relaxing beneath each thrust and grind. 
Kid whined your name, groaning into the pillow while biting down hard on the plush material. Reaching further depths than he could ever dream, his eyes began to roll as the blunt tip hit his prostate and had his cock twitch in the approach of ecstasy. 
“You're doing so well, honey,” you praised him, gripping his hips and bucking in harder to perpetually hit that sweet spot deep in his abdomen. You rake your blunt nails over his hip and down to circle around his painfully hard cock, choking the tip before pistoning the shaft in the same motion you fucked his ass with. 
Kid couldn't grace you with an answer, his mind finding itself vacant and jaw falling slack, as he drooled onto the flush material. His body began to contract, his balls lifting flush against his abdomen as his cock twitched in your palm. 
He couldn't warn you, his body immediately betraying him by snapping that coil deep within the pit of his stomach and spurting his seed in hot ropes of translucent release. His whined and strangled cry had you smile down at him. The tension on his shoulders fell slack as his body gave into the feeling of being completely spent.
Eustass Kid had never cum so hard and long in his life. Each time he thought his orgasm was close to concluding, another twitching wave shifted through him and pulsed through his cock in a spurt of viscous cum. He felt so full, so complete and stuffed to the brim and he couldn't get enough.  
The duvet beneath him was coated in the sheen of his cum, just as your palm was painted by his dribbling knob. His asshole twitched around you, still sheathed all the way to your abdomen and taking all you had given him. 
“You okay down there, honey?” you cooed down at him, feeling his cock still twitching in your hand as his shaft rapidly deflated. He couldn't nod, couldn't breath or speak without it coming out in incoherent babbling and mumbles. 
All you offered him while inching out of him was a simple phrase whispered into his ear with a gentle kiss on his cheek, “I fucking told you you'd like it.”
He offered a soft grunt in response, burying his blushing face into the pillow to hide his bashfulness. You hummed down in glee, crawling off him and beginning to ready several items to clean both of you up with, just as he did for you hours earlier. 
As you returned back to the room, all you could see was your hulking boyfriend laying flat on his back and haphazardly tucked into the duvet: face flushed, eyes peacefully shut, and a soft smile drawn up onto his lips. 
You would look forward to topping him again, and again, and again: never ceasing to tire from the overstimulated little whines and mewls from him each time you made him cum by fucking his ass. 
There was no denying it now. Eustass Kid enjoyed himself too much to let the situation never occur again. His sheepish grin, innocent rounded eyes, and biting his lips to stifle a blush was all you needed to see to know he wanted it. And you were more than happy to oblige him each time he was consumed with the need.
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pixxiies · 4 months ago
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reckless
matt sturniolo
ꜝ haven’s notes / thank u guys sososooso much for 500 !! i love u all so much dearly. i have a rlly busy week next week so i wanted to give u guys smth as a thank you:) also sorry if this is supa short
ꜝ genre / angst (no happy ending)
ꜝ warnings / yelling, cheating, crying, y/n used like twice (im sorryyyy), random names for the characters (audrey and fey), slight cursing, nd thats it! tell me if i missed anything
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your friends have been on your tail recently about matt’s (your boyfriend) new friend who was a girl named audrey. they have been all telling you how he’s cheating on you with her but, you refuse to believe it. you met her a few times, she’s the complete opposite of you and shes perfect. you didn’t mind it that much whenever she tagged along on you nd matt’s dates, but the thing that pissed you off was the fact that they always left you out. he even ditched you a few times to go to her house to hang out without you.
its been a few weeks since the last time you saw audrey, which you were sort of glad about. but matt has been more distant recently. you laid on his bed as you waited for him to get out of his bathroom. he came in with the towel hanging low on his hips. “matt?” you say, watching him get his clothes from his dresser. he hummed back in reply, not turning to face you. “why have you been so distant lately? is it because of audrey?” you ask softly with your hands fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. “what are you talking about? of course not baby. don’t worry ‘bout her, you know i would never hurt you like that.” he explains while turning around now to look at you. “just have been stressed with filming and back to back meetings.” matt smiled while walking over to you nd sitting on the edge of his bed. “oh, okay” you say softly while sitting up. “‘m gonna start heading out, you wanna come over tonight?” you ask him, tangling a hand in his wet loose curls. “can’t, hanging out with chris nd sam.” he said as he leaned into your touch. “ohh, thats okay.” you sound a little disappointed but you understood that he was gonna be with his friend. “i love you, have fun” you smile while getting up from your spot and kissing his cheek gently. “love you too”
you ended up just going to your bestfriend’s house the nd you slept over there. your now sitting on fey’s bed while you both are silent nd scrolling on your guys’ phone. after another few minutes of the comfortable silence mixed with the sound of rain tapping the window before fey gasped. “hm?” you hum curiously while perching your head up on the palm of your hand. “uhm.. where did your boyfriend say he was going last night again?” she asked while looking up at you. “he said he was going out with chris and sam, why?” you say, getting up from your spot to sit next to her instead. she angled her phone so you could see it. a photo of matt and audrey kissing at someone’s party. “what?” you whisper under your breath, grabbing fey’s phone slowly to analyze the picture. “i hate to say it y/n but, i told you this was gonna happen.” she said while hugging your shoulders softly. you stay silent for a bit before handing fey the phone back. you stand up from her bed nd put your shoes back on. "where are you going?" your bestfriend asks from her spot. "going to matt's house." you mumble as you bite back tears.
"w-what?" fey said while getting up and moving next to you. "gonna go talk to him, i'll talk to you later." you say before leaving her room nd going downstairs. you get into your car, but you didn't start the car yet. you sat there nd just thought. he said he would never hurt you, but here we are. you make your thirteen minute drive to his house, parking your car behind the minivan. you slowly get out of the car nd make your way to the front door. you were met with nick, eyes filled with worry. "matt here?" you ask quietly. you got no response, but just a hug from him. "dude, im so sorry." he says softly. "nick please. is he here?" you ask again while pulling the brunette off of him. "y- well yeah bu-" the second nick said that matt was there you quickly push him to the side and you start walking to matt's room. upon opening the door, you saw audrey on top on matt’s lap, the two of them making out. your eyes soften to the sight, the brunette boy pushing the girl away. "y/n! nono it's not what it-" he quickly starts trying to explain himself. "i guess my friends were right." you say while slamming matt's bedroom door shut. "what?" he asks while standing up. "my friends matt. they all told me that you could be cheating on me with her. they were fucking right." tears start to form on your waterline as you pointed to audrey who was watching this entire thing go down.
"baby please. you know i never meant to hurt you." he says gently when he notices the tears forming in your eyes. "but you did matt! you just did! you told me that you were gonna hang out with chris nd sam but no!" you start to speak louder, your words laced with tears. "you went to a party nd someone saw you with her last night." you say again as you didn't even give matt a chance to defend himself anymore. "i know i know. can i just explain myself?" he says quietly. "no matt. because in this case you fucking can't." you say in a tone that matches his. "i didn't even know you could be this reckless with someone's heart." you whisper while turning your back to the two nd opening the door to leave. of course, matt chases after you. "y/n! wait!" he said while running out of the room, audrey for some reason, following behind. "matt i don't wanna hear it! you wrote me this long letter saying how i was the only girl you'd ever want in your life. but was that all to waste? now you're over here, ditching me nd lying to me to go hang out with another girl." you say a bit too loudly with your mascara staining your cheeks. your eyes flicker between matt nd audrey then they landed back on matt. "i hope you both go to hell." you mumble before walking downstairs with chris nd nick walking after you.
ꜝ taglist / @mattscoquette @mattsluttywaist @luverboychris @mxqdii @sweetstars-posts @xoxo4chrisss @conspiracy-ash @submattenthusiast @strnzzvsp @bambi-slxt @deftonesmatt @s7urnscc
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heartshapedmisery · 6 months ago
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thinking about art x fem reader whose also a tennis player, she gets hurt playing practice against art and he feels so bad.. leading to other things to help her feel better
like best friends to lovers type thing IDK JUST A THOUGHT for a blurb
IM LOVING THIS IDEA THANK U ANON! <3 (this was meant to be shorter but i got so carried away with it lmao)
tags: heavy makeout, slight dry-humping, fingering...
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No because Art truly is the competitive type, so if you were to suggest a friendly game after practice he would definitely take it way too seriously...
"What, you're giving up on me now?" he'd taunt when you were getting worn out, bent over with your hands on your knees to catch your breath. You looked up at him to see his knowing smirk, twirling the racket in his hand impatiently.
You didn't expect him to play so hard, since you thought it would just be light-hearted like you had suggested. Though that was the thing about Art; he never went easy on anybody, especially not you—his best friend.
"Nope," you said simply, brushing your fly-away hairs out of your face. "Just wondering why the hell I suggested this."
Art laughed, but didn't give you any sympathies. He waited for you to get back into position before serving to you, and you got back into the game.
It seemed to go well for a while, the bright yellow ball going back and forth between the two of you with a mix of grunts. Adrenaline coursed through your veins, which is why you didn't feel your ankle twist from underneath of you until your body fell onto the court harshly.
A confused whimper sounded from your throat as you rolled over, grasping at your ankle that was now searing with pain. A few tears welled in your eyes as your face contorted with discomfort, the sound of Art's racket smacking down against the court as he quickly jumped over the net and crouched down next to you.
"Oh my god," his eyes scanned your face, his heart sinking at the way you silently sobbed with your head lulled back on the court. He quickly examined your ankle, realizing that it was already swelling and needed to be iced.
"It's okay, it's okay," he assured you sweetly, helping you sit up before wrapping his arm around your waist. "Put your arm around my neck and we're gonna stand up, alright?"
You did as he told you, slinking it around his neck and fisting his shirt as you fought back a cry when he pulled you up, the pressure and bloodflow to your foot making the pain worse.
He tried to help you walk as best as you could, holding you upright while you put all of your weight on your left foot and hobbled with him back to his dorm since it was only a block away from the tennis courts.
When you did finally make it, he helped you over to his bed and helped you sit down gently, before going to his mini fridge and tying up an ice pack for you to put on your ankle.
"I'm so sorry, this is all my fault," he shook his head defeatedly, crouching down in front of you and carefully wrapping the bag around your ankle. The new sensation made your breath hitch, before the pain slowly started to subside.
"No its okay, it was an accident. It's no one's fault," you told him honestly, your mind slightly fogged at the feeling of his hand cupping the back of your calf as he held your foot up. He mindlessly rubbed your soft skin, unaware of the affect it had on you as his mind spiraled.
"No, but I pushed you too hard," he explained, his voice low. "It's my fault."
You shook your head, before taking his face in your hands. You cupped his jaw softly, your forgiving eyes holding his gaze.
"No it's not, stopping beating yourself up about it."
"I know, I just-"
You abruptly cut him off by bringing your lips to his, the apology falling dead in his mouth. You caught him completely off guard, but he still melted into the kiss, allowing his hands to run up the sides of your thighs.
"Now will you stop?" you whispered once you finally pulled away, running your fingers subconsciously through his blonde locks of hair.
He nodded, before pulling you back in for another kiss. He took it upon himself to lay you down against his bed, slotting himself in between your slightly spread legs.
You didn't know why, but this felt so easy. It didn't feel weird or awkward, given that he had been your best friend since high school. If anything, it made perfect sense.
"Is this okay?" he whispered, cradling your head with his free hand while the other ran up your side. You nodded eagerly, giving him the green light to bring his lips back to yours.
Your heartbeat picked up as you felt him harden beneath his shorts against your thigh the more intense the kiss became, his hips slowly beginning to move in seek of friction.
You slipped you tongue into his mouth, earning a moan from him as his hand wandered down your body before grasping your waist and thumbing your hip. Your non-injured leg wrapped around his waist in attempt to bring him closer with a moan, completely enthralled with the feeling of him.
Suddenly, your breath hitched at the feeling of his fingers slipping underneath the waistband of your skirt, dipping into your panties. You let out a shaky moan as Art sunk his middle and ring finger into your soaked cunt, curling them upwards gently as he continued kissing down your jaw and the soft skin of your neck.
It drove him wild how wet you already were for him, the muffled squelching sound of his fingers moving in and out of you making his dick harder.
It didn't take long for him to have your thighs shaking around his hips and your toes curling in your tennis shoes, disgruntled moans mixing with his soft grunts.
You would've never guessed you'd be sprawled out on your best friend's bed coming down from the orgasm he had just given you, but you definitely weren't complaining.
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tims-shi · 2 years ago
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tags: itoshi!sister, baby itoshi is named kei, fluff, sae and rin as older brothers, some spoilers for the u20 match !!, this is v self indulgent tbh 😭 kinda ooc characters im sorry
first post !! also not proofread lols again this is p much self indulgent oml ending is rushed my mind went blank,, i tend to coddle my baby cousins A LOT and ive been missing them these days so it led to this 😧
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“hey prodigy boy, a little lady’s looking for you.” aiku announced, entering the break room with a miniscule smirk on his face.
sae merely raised a brow, coldly saying, “send them away.” aiku laughed, waving his hand in the air, “i can’t do that. she seems very persistent. i feel like she’ll cry if she gets sent away.”
getting annoyed, sae dropped his bag. rolling his eyes as he stomped his way out of the room. he opened the door, prepared to tell the tepid creature to scram off, only to be met with air.
“are you fucking with me, you selfish captain?” sae muttered to himself, about to close the door. pausing halfway when he hears small mutters.
“nii, up.” looking down, sae sees his little sister, no older than three years, looking up at him with raised arms. “kei,” sae lets out a grunt as he picks her up. running his eyes through her figure once she’s nested in his arms. quirking a brow at the familiar looking blue pentagon brooch pinned at her jacket. 
“why are you alone? where’s mom?”, sae interrogated, fingers tucking her maroon locks behind her ear. “i’m with nanny. told her i’ll be back.” kei replied, fiddling with the string around her brother’s neck.
“okay, you’ve seen me. now go back to nanny.”
“no! wan’ see rin-nii, too.” kei whined, arms tightening around sae when he tried to put her down.  at the mention of the name, sae’s face scrunched up, reminded of the not-so-good relationship he has with his brother. “do you know your way? i can’t bring you there ‘cause my manager’s looking for me.” at that, kei nodded. placing her palms on his face and kissing his cheek before wriggling down his hold. “do you have your phone? i’ll text your nanny where you are. stay safe, alright?” sae crouched down, pinching her cheek.
“i will. bye-bye!” kei waved at him before dashing off to where her rin-nii could be.
kei’s lost. at first she was confident she’ll reach her rin-nii in record time, but after a few turns in this maze of a facility, kei’s starting to lose hope. tears brimming at her eyes, letting out sniffles.
with blue lock winning the match against japan’s u20, it’s safe to say the excitement hasn’t really died down. now done with showering and freshening up, the athletes are now on their way to the cafeteria, where a feast is waiting for them, as anri said. 
“that was a fun match! i’ve never played a match with so many talented players before! hell! i wasn’t even expecting we were gonna win!” bachira babbled excitedly. at his chatter, chigiri’s brows furrowed, “what do you mean you weren’t inspecting us to–”
“do you guys hear that?”, isagi hushed them. 
“...hear what?” reo asked. “it’s like someone’s crying” isagi answered, looking around for a person crying?
“is that a child?” nagi, who had been silent throughout the walk, pointed out the small figure not too far from them. bachira, ever the happy person, approached the crying child. “hi! are you okay? why is a little girl like you crying?” he asked, now on his knees in front of the child.
“can’t find my nii. ‘m lost.” kei muttered. feeling comfortable with the stranger before her, she went closer to him, hands now gripping his shirt.
“do you want us to help you find your brother?” this time, it was chigiri who asked. also crouched in front of her as he wiped her tear-stained face. “wan’ my nii.” the little girl uttered out, cries gone and was left sniffling. 
as bachira and chigiri were comforting the little girl, reo can’t help but feel familiar with the child. has he seen her before? he can’t really recall. looking over at isagi, it seems like he has the same thoughts as well.
“doesn’t she look like rin-chan? so cute!” bachira exclaimed, now holding kei in his arms, cooing at her cheeks. hearing her brother’s name, kei perked up. eyes twinkling at bachira, silently pleading to lead her to her brother. 
“oh? is he your nii?” when kei nodded, bachira turned to isagi and handed him the child. “isagi will bring you to your brother. right, isagi?” 
while panicking inside, isagi couldn’t help but sigh softly when kei looks at him expectantly. “i’ll take her to rin. save us some food.” isagi bid them goodbye. over his shoulders, kei waved at the group of boys left behind. 
“what’s your name?” isagi sparked up a conversation, the awkward silence getting to him. “kei and ‘m three!”
“what’s your name?” kei asked him, resting her head on his shoulders. “me? i’m isagi. i play soccer. do you play soccer, kei?” 
“no, can’t push the ball by myself.” kei pouted, recalling the times she tried to do the sport both her brothers love. “then you have to eat a lot so you get strong and kick the ball by yourself.” isagi told her, a palm resting on her back.
“we’re here. are you good by yourself?” isagi put her down. kei nodded at him, smiling at him in gratitude. “thank you, ‘sagi.” 
rin can’t help but be disappointed. at himself or at his brother? he’s not entirely sure. maybe he’s angry instead? he doesn’t know surely, too. sat alone in the break room with a towel over his head, rin curses inwardly as multiple thoughts run over his head. small pats on his knee made him look up. as teal eyes meet with another set of teal eyes, rin wasn’t expecting to see his little sister in here. let alone, by herself. “kei, are you alone?”, rin hushed out, picking her up and settling him on his lap, facing his body. 
“wan’ see rin-nii. miss rin-nii.” despite his cold demeanor, it’s no doubt that itoshi rin has a soft spot for his sister. always the sweet and loving child she is, unaware of the darkest sides of the world as she keeps lighting up every corner of their home and their hearts.
“rin-nii missed you too. have you eaten yet?” rin hummed, tugging kei closer and fixing a part of her hair that got messed up.
“i cooked my lunch! nanny helped me with the stove but i made my lunch by myself.” kei puffed up her chest, boasting about her blooming skills in the kitchen. “that so? should we go to the cafeteria? i think they have your favorite.”
“what we waiting for? let’s go! hurry!” with eyes gleaming at the sound of food, kei got off and started pulling her brother’s hand. “you wait here, i’ll just freshen up.” rin told her, arms under her arms as he sat her on the bench.
“rin-nii.” kei called out. “yeah?”
“can i sit with ‘sagi?” 
“WHAT?”
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jeon-ify · 10 months ago
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1, 16, 19, 32 Yeosang!! *runs and hides*
woah. you are a mastermind. im gonna have fun with this one
1. “open up, baby”
16. “stop fucking crying”
19. “yeah? you get off on me talking down to you?”
32. “you belong to me, understand?”
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you belong to me- yeosang
this morning, you woke up to the sound of no one. each room in the house was empty, curiosity rising from your chest. you’d triple checked every room, your closets— nothing.
yeosang was no where to be found. you called and texted, but no answer.
an hour or so later after contemplating on whether to give up or not, you pick up your phone and text again, in hopes he responds this time.
————————————
y/n: baby? where’d you go?
y/n: ur not picking up 🫤
y/n: at least leave me on seen
y/n: did i do something wrong?
y/n: ur scaring me sangie :/
y/n: was it because i braided hwas hair?
*seen just now*
y/n: bro.. theres no way
y/n: ur mad cus i-
y/n: nevermind
sangie 🧡: on my way home. u better not have any clothes on or i’ll rip them off. understand?
y/n: i understand
sangie 🧡: good girl
———————————
you never thought that braiding seonghwa’s hair would be such a problem to your boyfriend, since you already asked and made sure it was okay with the both of them.
“hwa, stop moving or it’ll hurt—“
“then fucking hurry up its only three little pieces” he whined to you. you’re really not hurting him, but he just likes whining.
“i’m sorry!! i’m just trying to make them neater.”
yeosang sits across the room, watching the two of you whine and yell at each other. the smirk that plasters over seonghwa’s face is what makes yeosang’s stomach flip and twist in jealousy. yeosang was never ever the jealous type, but when he was, it was dangerous for the both of you.
he glares at you and you swear you saw smoke coming out of his ears. he pulls his phone out of the pocket of his black nike sweats, and your phone dings twice.
sangie 🧡: just wait.
sangie 🧡: are you enjoying yourself?
sangie 🧡: bet you wanna fuck him and pull on his hair dont you
sangie 🧡: bad girl.
he slides his phone back into his baggy pockets, taking a deep breath to calm himself from the scene happening before him.
he stands up, walking over to the bowl on the counter in the kitchen where his car keys were. he starts his car, puts on his slippers and leaves the house; slamming the door behind him.
“someones jealous.” seonghwa snares.
“shut up.” you smack the back of his head, as you knew he was being petty.
“ow, dumbass. didnt you ask him if you could braid my hair already? its for a music video. he’s so fucking petty.”
“yeah, but if you keep looking at him and fucking smiling of course he’s gonna get mad and think you wanna fuck me or some shit.” you argue. you knew seonghwa had heart eyes for you since the moment you met him through yeosang. you hung out for dinner, seonghwa tagging along since he was bored out of his mind.
yeosang made the mistake of trusting seonghwa around you.
————————
you hear the door unlock and keys jingling around the knob. you run upstairs to your room before the door could open, saving yourself the hassle of yeosang carrying you and tossing you across the room.
“baby, i know you’re home. where are you?” you hear his deep voice rumbling throughout the dark home, as you sit on the edge of the bed, waiting for yeosang to find you waiting for him.
you hear his footsteps coming closer to the room, his breathing picking up as your breath hitches in fear and excitement at the same time.
he shoves the door open, being met with you at the end of the bed, cheeks flushed red and your heavy breathing ringing in his ears. he drops his wallet, phone, and keys onto the dresser as he turns back around and grabs a fist full of your hair. he pulls your head back so you’re looking up at him. he towers over you with his hand tugging and squeezing at your brown locks.
“i shouldn’t even be looking at you. but you’re fuckin’ lucky im nice to you.” he groans. he comes closer to you, prying at your lips, pushing and pulling, almost placing a kiss onto your lips. you scoot your face closer to his as he pulls away. he swipes his tongue vertically across your lips, as you sigh in relief that he finally touched you.
“open up, baby. gonna fuck that little throat of yours. you know your safeword, but i doubt you’ll use it, fuckin’ whore.” he takes his painfully hard cock out of his sweats as your throat becomes dry. you lose all words and all thoughts. you open your mouth, sticking out your dry tongue far enough for yeosang to shove his entire length down your throat.
“there you go, baby. now imagine seonghwa fucking your throat like this— fuckk, so warm.”
he’s relentlessly fucking your throat while your spit and his precum pools at the base of his cock. you scratch and grip at his clothed thighs, his neck veins pulsing and his arm muscles tightening against themselves.
“gonna cum in your throat, y/n. swallow it all like the good little bitch you are.” he groans— you could cum just from his filthy words alone. he watches the way your bare thighs wriggle and press together whenever he says things like this.
he pulls you away by the back of your neck after spilling his load down your throat. you stick your tongue out, moaning an ‘ahh’ sound so he could see that you swallowed completely. “fuck, look at you. dirty slut. bet you like when i use you like this.”
he watches the pool of tears flood your eyes from how overly pleasured you are. he mocks you, watching the way you sob and whine for him to just touch you and fill you up the way you need.
“sangie, please just fucking touch me, ‘been so good-“ he cuts you off as his heavy hand lands a sharp slap on your right cheek.
“good? you giving seonghwa ‘fuck-me eyes is good? you playing with his hair and laughing ‘n shit with my fucking friends is good?” his eyebrows furrow as he yells at you.
he’s not angry, but he’s disgusted that his friends would do such a thing, trusting them around you and wanting to build that bond with all of you.
“im sorry, daddy. just wanted you to fuck me.” you argue and plead him to just fucking do something. his large hand wraps itself around your throat as your tears spill down your cheeks to his fingers. you’re not sad, you’re intrigued by his possessiveness, thus making you so overly pleasured and excited, you decide to cry— turning him on as he loves seeing you weak before him.
“stop fucking crying. i didn’t do anything to you and you’re already cockdrunk. do you deserve to cum tonight?” he slides your panties down in one go with one hand, spreading your legs and shoving his middle and ring fingers into your mouth.
“suck. get ‘em all nice and wet so i can touch you where you want.” you suck and spit around his fingers while he fiddles with your throat.
“fuck— i can’t take it anymore, just fuck me please, daddy. please please please!” you moan as he rams his fingers into your sopping cunt
“i asked you a question. what do you do when i ask you a question, darling?”
“a-answer.” you manage. you don’t know how but words finally managed to leave your mouth.
“exactly. so, do you deserve to cum?” he caresses your cheek, giving you a kiss on your forehead. he’s acting gentle and kind to you, but this is the calm before the storm.
“no, i don’t.”
“and why not?” he questions.
“b-because i was touching your friend.”
“you got it, baby. you finally know common sense. now when i fuck you, don’t try to run from me. you belong to me, understand?. not seonghwa, me. turn around, and let me fuck your tight cunt.” his voice gets gradually louder when he claims you, the veins in his neck becoming prominent.
you get on all fours before him, ass up as your face is buried in his silk navy blue pillow. the cold sensation making you feel way above the clouds as yeosang undresses and runs his slim and long fingers through your folds before sliding his thick cock inside of you.
“i understand, daddy. you feel so fucking good. s-so big!” you moan. you feel like such a pornstar right now, being open and exposed for the man before you.
“look at your legs already shaking, wish i could get this on video and send to seonghwa so he fucking knows— fuck— that you are mine.”
he groans and brings his hand to land a slap on your ass cheek, eliciting a deep moan from your throat. he moves his warm and muscular arm to put you in a headlock, white stars and black clouding your vision.
his muscles contract around your throat, cutting off your air supply as he feels you clenching around his length, gripping him like your life depended.
“daddy— fuck— call me a whore!” you moan and cry out as he pounds you ruthlessly and probably the fastest you’ve ever been fucked.
“yeah? you get off on me talking down to you? nasty whore.”
you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want yeosang to put a baby in you, just so you could be full of him. truthfully, you both werent ready for a baby, but you just wanted to walk around with him inside of you forever, everywhere you went.
he groans and moans in your ear as you feel him twitching deep inside you. you cum around his length, his thrusts becoming quicker and harder, you feel him chasing his orgasm.
“gonna put a fuckin’ baby in you. so seonghwa knows who you belong to. walk around the house with my seed in you, you’d like that, wouldn’t you, y/n?”
“yes- fuck, please please please~” you moan again, arching your back up and down, as yeosang pulls you onto his hips, as you feel him reach a spot he has never reached before, making you squirt and stain his satin sheets.
“made a fuckin mess. look at you. let this be a warning for the next time you touch or look at any of my friends, hm baby?”
“o-okay,” you cry out.
he paints his load all over your pink gummy walls, groaning and stilling his thrusts as you both catch your breaths. he pulls out while you lay down, processing what the fuck just happened.
this was the best sex you’ve ever had.
————————————————————
I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS OMFG IT WAS SO HARD TO WRITE CUS I DONT WRITE YEOSANG BUT THIS WAS SO FUN TOO
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writingstoraes · 2 years ago
Text
charles' playlist 🎶
pairing: charles leclerc/fem!reader
type: instagram imagine/social media au
notes: not proofread and not revised so please expect errors hehehe please lmk what u think by replying or messaging and if u wanna be part of my taglist! <3 decided to add fans' reactions through tweets! this is a bit long ig?
about: in celebration of your birthday, charles dedicates a song to you every instagram post.
charles_leclerc
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liked by isahernaez, susie_wolff, carlossainz55, and 1,894,341 others
charles_leclerc The happiest of birthdays to the love of my life. Today, the world became an even better place because it gained someone so kind and loving - you. For one of your many gifts, I've picked out a few songs to better encapsulate the way I feel about you and just how thankful I am I got to live in the same life as you.
1. She Chose Me - Bruno Major
"Every night I thank the lucky stars above me, someone as beautiful as she could freely love me and she really loves me. From time to time I ask myself, why was it I and nobody else? The most beautiful girl that I'd ever seen and she chose me."
Eternally grateful I get to call you mine. Despite the highs and lows we have battled together, you chose me - how privileged am I?
tagged: yourusername
yourusername CHARLES????@?@ I LOVE YOU WHAT IS THIS
mercfan WHAT THE HELL U CANT JUST SURPRISE US LIKE THIS
princecarlos I KNOW oh my god hes so fucking sweet 😭😭😭😭😭
lewishamilton No don't do this I think I'm going to cry (by the way, Happy Birthday, Y/N!)
yourusername you and me both, lew 😔 thank you! say hi to roscoe for me please
lilymhe happy birthdayyyy, my favorite girl 🎉 see you soon!
yourusername thank you, my lily :(( we will drop by soon!
charles_leclerc
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liked by maxverstappen, danielricciardo, pierregasly, and 1,234,110 others
charles_leclerc 2. Baby I'm Yours - Arctic Monkeys
"Baby, I'm yours and I'll be yours until the sun no longer shines, yours until the poets run out of rhyme. In other words, until the end of time."
Okay this one I admit I just liked the melody but hey, the lyrics are for sure accurate, yes? I remember when we sang this at 3AM because we both couldn't sleep. But it couldn't be more right - I'm yours and I always will be, for as long as you'd have me.
tagged: yourusername
c16c55 oh my god i cannot do this today will i ever find love like this
leclercsainz Gonna go sleep on a highway
pascale_leclerc Happiest Birthday, my dear Y/N! Come over soon when you can ❤️
yourusername we will! i miss you all 🤍
yourusername there's no one else id rather sing karaoke with at 3am 🤍 je táime, amour! also, are you kidding? im keeping you forever 🧘‍♀️
charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, arthurleclerc, isahernaez, and 1,459,340 others
charles_leclerc 3. Beyond by Leon Bridges
"I'm scared to death that she might be it, that the love is real, that the shoe might fit. She might just be my everything and beyond, space and time in the afterlife,"
You are everything to me, chérie. When I first realized that I loved you, it shook me to my core. I was terrified of how greatly I felt for you; but here you are, the greatest thing that ever happened to me. You were the leap of faith I will always be thankful for and the only sure thing amongst all uncertainties. Have the happiest of birthdays ❤️
tagged: yourusername
yourusername i am out of words, i love you so so so much, my favorite person 🤍
charles16clerc YEAH WTF charles im gonna need you to pay for my therapy
carlossainz55 Never knew you were such a romantic, mate 😆 happy birthday, Y/N! Isa misses you!
charles_leclerc Only for her actually
yourusername thanks, carlos! tell her to come visit me soon <333
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tagging: @slytherheign <333 mwah
notes: this is my first time trying out putting tweets! how was it so far? hehe lmk ur thoughts!
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dearhargrove · 2 years ago
Text
True colors
Summary Ethan would always protect you. Even if he had to go against his family.
word count 1610
tags violence, blood, scream 6 spoilers, probably unrealistic but whatever :)
a/n idk but u couldn't stop thinking abt this so I wrote it heh. Pls enjoy 🫶🏻 also im morally this is very wrong and that he actually kinda coo coo towards the end of the movie but I'm delusional and gonna keep believing he was how he was most of the movie. Also yes the title is inspired by the song from the weeknd I'm sorry I couldn't think of anything else 😭
masterlist navigation
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You're standing in the middle of Sam and Tara as Bailey explains how he was the one behind all of this. You're just as shocked as the two sisters when Quinn takes off her mask and grins smugly.
The attention turns to the other Ghostface next and no one moves for a second. Bailey nudges him with a disgruntled look and they move, taking the mask off.
Your breath stops and your tears blur your vision as Ethan stands there, eyes desperate as he looks at you.
"No, no, no this can't be, please…" you cry out and shake your head, still in denial.
"(y/n)..." He tries and his voice sounds just as shaky and desperate as yours had seconds ago. "No, don't-", you're crying against Sam's shoulder as she cradles you against her protectively.
"Please, I never hurt you- I would never hurt you!" He tries again, and you can hear he's close to tears as well. You hiccup and wipe your eyes, turning around slowly.
"Ethan, you murdered one of my closest friends," he flinches as if he didn't know what he had done and you walk closer to him as anger takes over the absolute desperation you were feeling.
"That wasn't me!" He yells. Quinn interjects from behind him, proudly pointing to herself as she claims it as her own doing.
"Was this all fake to you? To get closer to Sam and Tara?" You ask, and when you're close enough, you look up and push him back with a hand on his chest, sneering. He tries denying it, "No, please, I really do love you!"
"If you did, you wouldn't have done any of this."
He chokes on a sob and chokes out another apology as his father speaks up. "You think he did anything? He was useless in this whole plan, kept saying how he couldn't hurt you, and how he would just kill Sam in the end instead of doing anything else." Bailey scoffs, and you frown.
Your head is basically exploding at this information. It certainly makes you feel less repulsed towards Ethan, but did it matter when he helped his father with this plan, anyway?
The boy in front of you hangs his head in shame, and you instinctively reach out to lay a hand on his shoulder in a reassuring motion, pulling back quickly after.
You were lost - you loved this boy, and you could easily tell when he was lying, just as you could tell he was being truthful about this. But still, he had also been an accomplice to two killers.
You definitely didn't trust him anymore - how could you? - but you couldn't just stop loving him. You turn to Sam with a lost expression, and she seems to understand, sighing.
There seemed to be a mutual agreement between you, and she huffed. She turns back to Bailey and Quinn, the two frowning at the closeness between you and Ethan.
"Get back here, boy," Bailey scolds, and Ethan sways, his fists clenching. "If you go now, every chance you have with me is gone."
He looks up again, and his expressive eyes meet yours. There's fear more than anything on his face, and he turns to look at his dad and sister before turning to you again.
He tilts his head with a frown and puts a hand on your cheek before pulling your body in front of his chest and holding a knife to your throat in one quick movement. You gasp and grasp his forearms, did he just act remorseful to kill you?
He leans forward, "Trust me," he whispers before taunting Sam and Tara about how they'd lose. Your heartbeat falters at the warmth, radiating off of him and the general comfort he gave you.
You give Sam a look, hoping she understands, but Tara is already off to fight Quinn, brick gripped tightly in her hand as she hits it over the other girl's head.
You wince at the resounding crack and turn to Sam hurriedly, Ethan walking backward with his eyes on his dad, who was watching with an approving smile. "See? Knew you could do something right, son."
Sam takes off to the man, leaving Ethan and you without any attention on you. He leads you to the back of the stage, curtain hiding you from sight.
You crouch down behind some furniture that was definitely rotting and look at him. His knife laid next to him as he kneeled next to you, anxiously surveying the area.
"Why'd you do it?" You whisper. You genuinely wanted to know. He exhales and settles his eyes on you for a moment before looking towards the doorway again.
"I... wanted dad to see me for me. Not just Richie's brother or an accomplice. As his son."
You feel remorse for him, your gaze softening, and you take his hand again, the familiar feeling making you feel less on edge. "I see you for what you've shown me of yourself. But I don't know if that was a lie. If… our relationship was even real." It hurts to say, but it's the truth - he was okay with killing, something he'd kept hidden from you for more or less good reason. What else did you not know about him?
He hesitates and fidgets with his hands, "At the beginning… at the party. I didn't have to get close to you. Dad said it'd be better if you trusted me since you're close with Sam and Tara so he wasn't against it, he just didn't tell me to do it." He starts.
"Did he tell you to get close to Chad and the others?" He nods solemnly and you hum, motioning for him to keep going.
"The more we talked the more I started liking you and.. he didn't like that." He frowns and looks around again before hurrying up, "I told him and Quinn not to hurt you and that if we had to kill you I'd do it. I would've never done that but at least they wouldn't have tried anything." He looks at you for a reaction and though you're shaken you're also surprised he was so adamant on keeping you safe from the beginning.
"Thanks," it's basically a question but he chuckles and shrugs, nodding.
"It wasn't hard to fall for you. I never really fit in so when you just went with everything I did and cared-" he smiles with a slight flush on his cheeks and under different circumstances you would've cooed at the endearing sight.
"I knew you would find out about this," he motions to his robe, "so I thought why not? And then I confessed. I never expected you'd like me back but you did," your heart clenches when he says 'did', as if he expects you to have stopped loving him in the short time you've known about all of this, "And I've never been happier than when I came to class and you were waiting somewhere for me."
His shoulders shake nearly unnoticeably but you still see it, and you watch as he hastily wipes his eyes.
"Oh, Ethan…" you mumble and pull him into a hug. He reciprocates it after a moment, his arms wrapping around your waist as good as he could with both of you kneeling in a dusty corner with the smell of rotting everything around.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he breathes and you place a hand on the back of his head. "I know," the moment is interrupted when two gunshots sound through the theater and the screaming goes silent.
He lets go of you and grabs his knife again. You wait with bated breath when footsteps start approaching and someone calls your names.
"Ethan- ah, there you are," Tara had a wound in her stomach, and there was blood splattered over her face. You smile in relief that she was, at least to an extent, okay, getting up to hug her.
She laughs, and you know it's pure relief that you were still alive. When you part, she turns to Ethan, who was standing off to the side with furrowed brows.
"You," she starts but you interrupt her. "He saved me. And he explained it. I know you don't trust him but please," she's conflicted and just stares at him, not wavering even as her older sister comes up behind her as well.
"Tara, it's okay. Trust her with this."
The younger girl huffs but nods, taking Sam's offered hand. "Listen, you tell the rest of the group the truth and the police that you were manipulated or whatever." She orders and he nods, quietly thanking her.
The pair of sisters walks away after that but not without Tara staring at Ethan with a harsh glare once more.
He shrinks even more into himself and you're somewhat glad he was still the shy bean he was before.
-
It took everyone some time but now, almost half a year later, you're sitting in Sam and Tara's apartment, having dinner together.
Ethan was sitting next to you, holding your hand under the table and talking to Chad. You smile happily and lean back in your chair, watching everyone interact calmly.
It had taken Mindy the longest to trust Ethan - though you're unsure if she does - but she tolerates him by now.
Your gaze falls back to your boyfriend, his fingers playing with your bracelet.
You don't think you'd ever be able to forget all of what happened back then but you stopped associating him with it quickly enough. Ethan turns to you with a confused head tilt, squeezing your hand in question. You just smile and lean against his shoulder.
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mymelodymia · 1 year ago
Text
Accidentally coming out as a lesbian to your brother, Mike // Mike Schmidt x sister!reader
**not a ship**
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Summary: your afraid to come out to your big brother, Mike
Warnings: fear to come out, crying,
A/N: idk, I just wanted to write abt lesbians 🤷‍♀️
+•°+*°•++•°+*°•+
You and Mike always had the best relationship. Especially when it came to caring for one another, you both loved each other more then life, and you felt as though you could go to him for anything.
But, you had soon developed a secret, and kept it from him, scared for his reaction.
You had liked a girl for a while now. This girl, was none other then your best friend, gf/n.
You had learned that she liked you too not to long ago. You had agreed to go out with her that evening, but what you did, maayyy have put your plans on pause.
Mike had asked you what you were gonna do this weekend, he was very obviously just lonely and wanted time with his little sister. "So, what are you doing this weekend?" He asked looking up at you from the table he was sitting at.
"I got a date with the girl i like." You gasped and covered your mouth, staring at him. He looked at you in confusion, which you misunderstood as him being upset or angry.
You ran to your room as fast as you could, locking the door behind you. You picked up the phone to call gf/n and inform her that you might have to cancel for a few days.
Once you did that, you hung up and slid down the wall, now sitting on the floor with your hands over your head, you began crying. Which turned into sobbing.
You tried to be quiet with it, but sadly, Mike heard every sob that fell from your mouth. Secretly sitting by your door.
You stayed in there the rest of the night. The next morning, he knocked on your door, you groaned while turning over. You soon realized that it was Mike who was at your door.
You quickly sat up, you stared at the door for a while, before he knocked again "y/n, get dressed. We gotta talk." and walked away.
You were very scared and nervous. You put on the first thing you saw, which was jeans and one of his hoodies that you had stole.
You walked out to see him sitting at the table, fidgeting with a pen. You took a deep breath and sat down across from him.
You eventually looked up at him, he was just looking deep into your chocolate brown eyes, for some reason, for the first time ever, you felt small under his stare.
"Y/n.." you hummed in response, feeling tears come to your eyes. "I-im not mad....i just wanna know, why didn't you tell me?"
"Cause..." you whimpered out, he gripped your hand. "Cause why, you thought id be mad?" He asked and you nodded,
"You and me have always been so close, y/n, baby, did you really think id stop loving and caring for you just because you like girls?" You let out a small sob, Mike didn't immediately go into comfort mode just yet, he wasn't finished.
"Y/n, i love you more then anything, and nothing, nothing could ever change that. I promise you that no matter what happens i will always be here for you. And i will never stop loving you. Always and forever."
You let it all out after that. You leaned into him. You snuggled into his chest, staining his white tee with your tears.
"But i am gonna need my sweatshirt back." He said playing with the loose fabric. You giggled at him, "never."
You went on your date that night, and Mike approved of gf/n, obviously.
+•°+*°•+
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None :(((
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blackdollette · 8 months ago
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Hey i’ve never sent a request before and i’m a dumbass 😭 so feel free to ignore this if it’s not rlly your speed. Basically i just want some kinda hurt/comfort with Euronymous where he’s about to leave for a gig and the reader asks if he wants them to come and he tells them they should stay home and he’s doing it for her safety but she takes it as he’s embarrassed of her because she’s not like “Metal” and she has a breakdown while he’s gone about it and he comes back and sees her crying and comfort ensues (that’s prolly the dumbest thing that’s ever come out of my mouth i’m so sorry) anyway thank you so much!! No rush obviously i love your works so much and i’ve just been in need of this trope
thank you so much for the request, anon! my inbox is open to any other brilliant ideas that you want to share :))
"one for the money, two for the show." | euronymous
million dollar man. - lana del rey
✮⋆˙ [tags] @faesucksass @lustkillers @mayathepsychic1999 @josibunn @si1nful-symph0ny @vanlisbon @livingdead-reilly @oliviah-25 @lankysimp@auggiethecreator @livingdead-materialgirl @monkeyfart @imoonkiss @nom-nommmm1 @xxbl00d-cl0txx @k1ll3rh0rr0r @wildathevrt @randyssister @wild-rose-35
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female!reader x euronymous
word count: 1.1k
contents: a tiny bit of angst, mostly fluffy, soft euronymous
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“alright, baby. i’m heading out.” euronymous’ voice called out from the bedroom. he walked into the living room where you were sprawled out on the couch, eyes now wide with curiosity as he grabbed his van keys from the holder of the front door.
“where are you going, euro?” you clicked the pause button on the tv remote, stopping the program that was currently playing. euronymous pulled on his leather boots, meeting your eyes as he began fidgeting with his keys.
“i… im off to a gig, doll.” you stood up from the couch, clearing up your area and making your way upstairs. “okay, just give me a few minutes to get dressed. i promise i won’t take long.” as you went up the stairs, you felt his hand gently take yours from behind. you looked back at him, his expression more grave than before. “about that, i think it would be best if you sat this one out.” his words were soft but edged with finality.
your face fell and you looked down. “y-you don’t want me to come to your show..?” euronymous stammered. “i-i just don’t know if this is gonna be your scene, angel. this is gonna be an intense show, and with my friends and all…” his voice trailed off and you began to put things together.
his friends. the same ones who’d sneer whenever he’d show up at gigs with his arm around your waist, you two looking like the oddest pair to ever walk the street. you had to credit euronymous for acting like he didn’t care, but it surely had to bother him at least a little bit. but you’d been so inconsiderate, tagging along with him everywhere he went and not even thinking about how he felt about it.
it was all hitting you like a ton of bricks. he was embarrassed to be seen with you. and you couldn’t even blame him for it either. you looked down at your light grey oversized hoodie, pastel-coloured pajama shorts, and white knee-high socks. you’d make him look like a complete joke showing up to another show with him. tears pricked your eyes as the realization sunk in, much to euronymous’ dismay.
he snaked an arm around your waist, looking at your face. “what’s wrong, baby?” he used his thumbs to gently wipe a tear trickling down your face as he pulled you in, pressing your body into the cold leather jacket on his body. you shook your head, sniffling. “n-nothings wrong.” you walked him back down the stairs, taking him back to the front door as you forced your voice to speak as clearly as possible. “i’m just awfully tired, that’s all. have a great show…” you went on your tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.
he nodded, giving you a half smile as he opened the front door and walked out, shutting it behind him. then the floodgates broke open. you fell to your knees, starting to heave out sobs as you heard his van drive off. giant tears rolled down your cheeks as your mind flooded with all the times you had possibly embarrassed him or damaged his reputation. but he was so sweet and kind that he’d never even said a thing.
you began to spiral, making assumptions that were built on not a single drop of evidence. as the hours passed, you paced around the living room, thinking about the whole situation. you cried until your eyes were red and your lips were all puffy, making your way back to the couch and slumping onto it. you glanced at the clock, seeing that it had been 4 hours since he’d left.
whenever you were with him, you were out for a maximum of two hours, thanks to you and how quickly you’d get tired of all the buzz. he must have been having a blast, and you couldn’t stop the tears that cascaded down your face. minutes later, the front door unlocked and euronymous walked back inside holding a pastel pink box, skin glistening slightly with sweat. usually, you’d greet him at the door with a big hug but you wouldn’t dare do that right now.
he kicked off his boots walking into the living room and seeing your puffy crying face. his eyes widened and he put the box down on the coffee table, sitting down next to you. “oh my god, angel. are you alright? what happened? are you feeling sick, did someone come into the house?” you were bombarded by questions fueled by his concern, your guilt only growing more by the second.
you heaved out a heavy sigh, looking him right in his soft blue eyes. then you spoke, your voice coming out as a hoarse croak. “i’m sorry for embarrassing you, euro…” your words clearly surprised him, but you kept on talking. “i-i don’t want to force you to take me wherever you go. i just love being around you, b-but i understand if your friends don’t like me. i just don’t fit in with you...” you looked at the ground, twirling the drawstring of your hoodie as you felt his gaze on you. then without warning, both his arms wrapped around you, pulling you into a tight hug. 
you froze, your heart hammering in your chest at this unexpected act of affection. you could feel his heavy breath against your neck, the sound of it stilling your nerves. after countless minutes he pulled away, hands resting on your shoulders as he looked at you with sad eyes. “my sweet, beautiful angel. i would never be embarrassed of you. i must be a damn awful boyfriend for making you think that in the first place.” he used his calloused fingers to wipe away your tears.
you took a good look at his face, finally noticing the several cuts on it that weren’t there before. you traced your finger along a long slit on his jaw, making him wince a little. he spoke, his voice even softer than before. “it was a really dangerous show tonight. there were glass bottles flying all over the place and fires everywhere. i thought of bringing you with me, but i just couldn’t bear the thought of you getting hurt out there.” 
you felt a wave of stupidity wash over you. so you had the wrong idea all along. euronymous chuckled slightly as your face lit up, picking up the pink box from the coffee table. “don’t you wanna know what’s in here?” he shook the box a little, making you fill with anticipation. he took off the lid, revealing a large slice of your favourite cake.
he brushed a few strands of hair away from his face. “i had to go all around town to find a bakery that was open at this hour. it took forever but here you go, baby.” your eyes welled with tears once more, but they were joyful instead of sorrowful. you wrapped your arms around his neck, peppering small kisses all over his face until he held your waist, connecting his lips to yours in a tender, heartfelt kiss.
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author's note: yall should never ever have any doubts when sending me requests. I'm always in love with absolutely everything i get sent! (that follow my guidelines ofc)
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astralnymphh · 9 months ago
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I just got on and saw what’s been happening and bro…I’m glad people are talking about it. Mostly about the smut, inclusivity, Palestine, and the fetishization of trans people.
Reading smut is so underwhelming like it seems like that’s all what people write these days. Like I need ANGST! I need to CRY! I need SLOW BURN AND PLOT….
And to be honest, I personally feel like some writers purposely list the reader’s physical descriptions as being white… like damn you know multiple people are going to come across your shit. I would get annoyed asf when I see something like “she touched your soft pale flushed skin” BITCH- 💀 don’t piss me off 😒🦶🏽
I won’t speak too in depth about the fetishization of trans people in fanfics because I’m not trans and I don’t want to say anything inaccurate BUT I will say it’s so disturbing and off putting seeing shit like that and seeing how people are sexualizing trans people more than treating them like regular humans…I also came across that ‘femcel’ series and🧍🏽‍♀️erm… no.
I appreciate the account who made the post discussing how the word trans and the f word are completely different. I didn’t even know that word was derogatory and it shocked me... I hope that account takes it down and they educate themselves or something cause 🙁👎🏽
yes pook YES smut can be underwhelming and so overdone. we definitely need more angst/fluff.. or just PLOT in general. no, i'm not saying don't write it at all (incase anons twist my words, cause.. they're good at that.) i'm just saying that it would be nice to see some fully fleshed out pieces with emotion and storytelling. i have something in the works though, that encompasses all genres (fluff/smut/angst) so, there's that!
people will so clearly write the whole petite pale white girl bs like "ur delicate small hand" or the fuckass "doey eyed and blushing cherub red" like NEVER portray reader so specifically unless you're going to specify it in the cw!!!! do whatever for ellie's white ass but for the love of gods and goddess BE AWARE OF READER AS A SPOT TO FILL, NOT AN OC!!!! idk how else to describe what i just said. but. it is said. so it. yeah. that whole delicate small petite thing kinda trickles into writing childlike readers too but. thats a whole nother discussion. no clue if i ever used that phrasing in the past tho i have no bold memories of my writings in detail.
i think people will listen to anybody but trans people who are actively calling it fetishization, like. all the mfs arguing with them say "trans and f💀ta aren't the same!" yeah. they aren't. cause one is like, a genuine, flesh and bone person.. with a whole story.. and feelings.. and experiences.. and one is.. fetishization. how many times do trans people have to repeat that? bet most of the people trying to argue against it aren't even trans.
the whole thing about authors "flooding" the tlou tag with palestine posts is also dumb as fuck. is scrolling a bit too taxing on your poor smut-guzzling thumbs?? ur scrolling over big booty fics, i think you can scroll a little further past those posts if you're really that much of a basement dwelling fuck that's sitting comfortably in their homes while a genocide is happening. out here sobbing cause people are spreading awareness. eat my bum bum booty. ++ also add-on cause we're holding writers accountable for ignoring a strike (different than not knowing at first) but there's also the artists!! they're there too.
anons r gonna come into my inbox abt all this but i'm not even gonna answer like, don't waste your time. im not reading all that. especially coming from an ANON 💀
me when
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mxlti-fand0m-imaginess · 1 year ago
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Insomniac // Tate Langdon
request: not sure if i already requested this butttt could you write tate langdon x reader w insomnia like him js comforting you n holding you in bed as you cry from exhaustion n frustration from not being able to sleep - or som along those lines of reader w insomnia? 💛
prompts: none
summary: no matter what you try, you just can't seem to fall asleep. your boyfriend, tate, tries his best to comfort you.
warnings: not proofread
word count: 512
a/n: i know this is shorter than what i usually write, but i've had some difficulty with motivation so i figured that i would at least try! i'm gonna do my best to write more. even though they might not be as long, i promise i will still put the same amount of effort it!
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You groan in frustration as you roll onto your back, staring at the dark ceiling above you. It’s been hours of tossing and turning, hoping that you would eventually drift off to sleep. But the peaceful release of rest and dreams never came. It never does. Night after night you’d lie awake, wishing and praying to fall asleep for even a few minutes. Waiting and waiting for relief from this utter exhaustion that never seemed to come. 
Sometimes you were lucky, passing out from exhaustion after trying to fall asleep. You’d wake up in the morning still tired, but at least still able to function. However, with the way things were going tonight, it didn’t look like you were going to fall asleep anytime soon. You were completely drained, needing nothing more than a few hours of sleep. But despite how tired you were, you remained wide awake. And it just made you even more upset.
You sat up, reaching behind you to grab your pillow. Burying your face in it, you let out a frustrated scream. Before you realized it, tears were falling from your eyes. You clutched your pillow to your chest, sobbing in utter frustration and misery. Why were you like this? Why couldn’t you just fall asleep like everyone else did? Why did life feel the need to torture you so?
“Hey, what’s wrong? Why’re you crying?” a gentle voice from beside you said.
You didn’t even need to lift your head to know it was your boyfriend, Tate. You felt the bed dip beside you, a pair of comforting arms wrapping around you. He pulled the pillow out of your grip and you leaned against his chest, holding him tightly.
“Can’t sleep,” your voice muffled from your face being buried in his chest.
He frowned slightly, his hand rubbing your back softly. “Again? I’m sorry baby.”
You cried into his chest, all your pent up emotions spilling out. Tate didn’t mind. He didn’t say anything while you sobbed, just continuing to hold you as you let everything out. Your hands gripped the fabric of his sweater tightly, trying to ground yourself to him.
“Why am I like this? Why can’t I just fall asleep? It’s so easy for everyone else,” you whispered, voice shaking from your tears. 
“I don’t know, baby. I just wish I knew how to help you. It hurts me to see you suffer like this,” he replied, still holding you against him.
“You are helping, Tate. Just you being here helps. It makes me feel better. You make me feel better.”
He smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. The two of you sat there in silence, just savoring each other's embrace. Soon, your grip on him loosened and your eyes grew heavy. Tate smiled down at you lovingly. He leaned back, laying down on your bed, pulling you down to rest on his chest, being careful to not move you too much.
Soft snores started emanating from you as you finally found the blissful release of sleep in your boyfriend’s arms. 
tags: @jamespotterslover @ahsxual @twinkiemaximoff @1800-fuckbitchesgetmoney @thatspookyagent @shadyspears @amourtentiaa @rottenstyx @tates-radio @hallecarey1 @im-verysad @tatesxthumbring @imaloserbabysowhydontyourailme @evilcr0ne @hocksetters @milly-louise @slut4kaiya @larawrrites
if your user is crossed out, it means i can't tag you!
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