#im going to be a bat lmao listen its what i could do last minute

[stoned-nboned]

Because I do everything last minute I just got my costume today and I'm very excited about it I can't wait to be all dressed up and cute

[neonfretra]

HEYYYYY ^_^ rambling below the cut

@sevennone

"New Spanish-Language Website Highlights Latest LosVGK Initiatives" from vgk

The new site is accessible by clicking “EN” or “ES” or the globe icon on the top right corner of the English site. Vegas is the first NHL team to produce a version of its website in Spanish and the second to offer two languages (joining Montreal, which has English and French).

NO WAY???

i doubt yall want to see me recite the los vgks (vgks hispanic and latino inclusion initiative) accomplishments but if i ever cared about what yall wanna see i dont think we would be two reblogs deep here now would we

(you could see it for yourself on the article itself!)

because THEIR PODCAST HATES ME i can only find the episode i believe youre referencing (Knight Time at Noon, episode #97) on amazon music. it is also a 47 minute episode and im not transcribing that within a reasonable span of time.

...unless?

the answer is i actually dont usually do well with podcasts cause i accidentally start tunin them out and then i gotta rewind it over . i do this a couple times LMAO

(also my bones disagree with transcribin right now. this post does NOT need to be longer trust me.)

for the interested, the section concernin los vgk goes from bout 15:10-23:20!

brings a tear to the eye :') genuinely worth the read + listen!

@stereax

right off the bat i had no idea what hockey night in canada was until right now LMAO i am unfortunately a sharks blogger through and through i dont know anything about hockey outside of the san jose sharks

(for anyone in a similar boat, hockey night in canada is the cbcs nhl cast ^_^)

IN PUNJABI? YOU PROMISE?

i will make an active effort to be normal. but thats CRAZY <3

(hello, neonfretra in the future! i failed.)

its fairly unfortunate that its ALSO a post season exclusive service, punjabi speakers canNOT listen to nothing games ... !

(i do wonder WHY its such a common trend but my guess is just finals are when viewership spikes and thats when broadcasting companies benefit the most from multiple language streams. unfortunate!)

theres this segment from "Hockey Night in Canada, with Mr. Chapared Shot" by Harnarayan Singh that piques my interest actually! (warning: the article contains sikhophobia and islamophobia against a sikh person)

The most famous term on the show, hands down, is chapared shot. We don’t have a word for slap shot in our language, so we took the word that means a slap to the face and added on shot at the end. It’s been a HUGE hit. I’ll be out shopping or something, and I’ll hear, “Mr. Chapared Shot!” Or kids will come up to me and demand that I say it. There are others that I really enjoy, too, though. When we mention the penalty box, we use Punjabi words that equate to “the box of punishment.” And we’re always referencing chai tea. Like, if your team had a bad period … maybe they need a cup of chai tea during the intermission.

THIS IS CRAZY FOR ME ACTUALLY...

PUNJABI CAST IN JOKES AND MEMES... thats awesome... hello... sounds good sounds natural... <3

actually i cant stress enough how crazy it is to read when casters put cultural terms into casting to ME! its really fascinating to read, ESPECIALLY because the two broadcasts we have read in this post so far are about selling the sport to a new demographic of nonhockey fans

to me it does feel like a sort of bridging of the gap in that sense with their new fans by not just tossin them into the deep end with technical terms or literal translations

which is what makes something a good translation and adaptation while existing as a completely separate cast!

yeagh...

A lot of times, it’s spur of the moment, but I’m proud to say that the general style I use has its roots in Punjabi culture. If it’s a big enough goal, and if the name fits, I always try to let the last syllable go on as long as I can — at the very least, I try to beat out the goal horn. And that comes from Punjabi singers, who are known for trying to compete with each other to see who can hold a note the longest.

(note: emphasis my own)

AWESOME. NO NOTES. i have nothing of worth to add. i love the way cultural raisings imbue you with certain associations .

(again the full article is worth the read! it follows the personal journey of singh as a caster and the work put into getting hockey night in punjabi off the ground and on air)

i feel the need to stress that there ARE other leagues and that nhl isnt the only way to watch a game in preferred languages. but it would be incredibly nice to be able to watch an nhl game in punjabi or asl any time of the season the same way french and spanish are options (AND WITH LIMITATIONS AT THAT...!) (the french are region locked.)

however i will spare the side search of what other leagues out there are and what languages they broadcast in.

REALLY cool is that hockey night in canada actually has provided broadcasts in other languages as well: italian, inuktitut, cree, hindi, tagalog, mandarin, and cantonese

im lookin at wikipedia sorry yall LOL

they chose these based off the most popular languages in the city each canadian team is based in, which does raise the question of WHY THE HELL IS THERE SO MUCH PUSH BACK... its not even love thy neighbor its more just. can we start with thy neighbor EXISTS??? racism is stupid and more breaking news with neonfretra at 6.

also it was baffling to see fully serious, uncritically posted pro forcing assimilation views. hold your opinions, ill hold mine, my opinion is you people are a tar pit .

but to be a little bit embarassing, it is actually incredibly exciting to realize how much there has been on a larger scale level for quite a few languages <3 its not a secondary language, non white non english speaking communities DO exist and ARE worthy of acknowledgement and involvement <3 i WANT other people to watch my terrible no good team. EYE know that anyone, me or my friends or my enemies or the stranger i will see twice in my lifetime, have a place in somethin as indulgent to watch as sports without havin to assimilate to the english speaking demands of the times!

... but only for the playoffs

do you see the problem with me talkin about my personal feelings towards these sorta casts. nothin new to be said and anythin of interest ALREADY covered in these articles <3

@planesandtrainingwheels

oh howdy! :) unfortunately this years schedule hasnt seemed to be posted yet u.u but aptn has a designated hockey in cree page if you want to look out for it! i wouldnt hold my breath, last seasons schedule was posted in january

they also have a dictionary of key vocabulary which is always interestin! ^_^

not all phrases included have an english translation and im not goin to try to figure how to do it myself in live time, so ! make do ^_^

(but if you ever wanted to learn a new language you can always hit up the plains cree language resource website though! just dont make me do it over the span of one post)

Roughing – ē-wī-pāspinē-nōtinikēt (he is almost going to fight someone) (...) Slashing – ē-kakwē-wīsakatahiwāt (he is trying to hurt him) this one can be translated several ways but the intent of this is trying to impede another player with their stick by hitting them and hurting them Too many men – ē-osāmiyaticik (there are too many of them)

you know what this actually explained the difference between a roughing and fighting penalty to me LMAO

(also laughed at there are too many of them. THERE SURE ARE! its a really good penalty name in both languages)

i do like the more literal meaning these compared to the more abstracted concepts because let me be honest with you. its INCREDIBLY hard to summarize some of these rules (and even then . how the heck we goin to even simplify slashing here!) (he is trying to hurt him why not) (you could argue they are in fact tryin to hurt each other the way an axe tries to hurt a log)

all this talk does make realize WOW hockey rules have some pretty weird names huh (WHAT IS INTERFERENCE!!!)

another article that caught my eye personally was "Veteran broadcaster hopes Cree 'Hockey Night in Canada' can help save language" by Gemma Karstens-Smith

i really did mean gatherin interest and supportin language learners in my first post (im part of the problem of dying languages! HELP!!!) and to know that hockey night in cree shoots for the stars does make me. you know. want to just carry that same hope! ^_^

The 60-year-old broadcaster from Canoe Lake Cree Nation in northern Saskatchewan is set bring the sport he loves to his community in a whole new way next month with the debut of "Hockey Night in Canada in Cree." "It means a lot. We're losing our languages across Canada," said Iron, who'll do play-by-play in Plains Cree for the six national NHL broadcasts. "We're trying to save the Cree language. And it'll help. Even to call a hockey game in Cree, it's a big thing."

one of the major things about castin in all these different languages is the connection ^_^ watchin sports is honest to god one of the biggest social experiences ive had and its an easy conversation facilitator.

ive observed a LOT of readings of peoples personal gaining from these casts being that they created connections with their peers that they felt a cultural gap with, having a similar grounds for a love of sports, and their family members they felt a generational gap with, learning the language of their family or having a way to include their non english speaking relatives in the conversation.

and from a completely unrelated angle, how many friends do you got tryin to learn japanese or korean because of the things they watch or read or listen to! my friend found music and television to be a massive help in her own journey to learn a language!

bringing your own culture and language to a massively popular platform like the nhl is HUGE to sharing and keeping it alive

crack open a broadcast in a different language! toss yourself into that show whose tropes you think are weird! its fun, trust me :)

also unrelated, their tag line? of sorts is "kitāskwēw, pihtikwahēw" means "he shoots, he scores" like baby i wish my team knew how to do that

GOD I NEED TO CUT MYSELF OFF. we are NO LONGER going back to elaborate. we are NOT adding any more.

thank you yall for real though! would not have known bout ANY of this otherwise <3

and POST!!!

maybe nhl in asl has given me a taste of the epic highs and now i am too spoiled . whats stopping us from doing this all the time ... whats stopping us from casting games in whatever popular languages in the area of a teams are ... maybe spanish speakers want to watch nothing games as well as the stanley cup final what then ... have you never wondered what kind of translations of your favorite players names there are out there ... heres how we can force people to actually learn those two or three or four languages theyve always wanted to pick up ... gather interest in learning less well known languages ... ill go first and then get dragged for exclusively sayin nothing related to the game LMAO

[theserpentsnight]

Hi! I wanted to tell you that I really love your beetlebabes art <3 I’m really curious about your take on the characters, can you tell us more about your AU?

Thank you!! Im a sucker for powerful characters getting wrapped around the finger of some normie lmao

Okay okay so I've only seen the movie once when I was like 11, and haven't gotten around to rewatching it, but I remember Betelgeuse's nature/motive being more of a mystery at first? I like good old fashion demons with Rules and Deals and True Names. In my AU, Betelgeuse has made a lot of trouble by making deals with ghosts and taking their souls (basically all those background dancers are ghosts who are contractually bound to him lmao), then using them to get living people to summon him, before he either gets banished again, makes a deal, or kills them.

It becomes such a problem that Juno decides to play his game and make a Wager. She gets to pick a recently departed spirit, and Betelgeuse has to train them to haunt their place of death. He can't help outside of teaching them how to scare; the spirit has to do the actual haunting all by themself. If he wins, he will be free to enter the living world whenever he wants, without needing to be summoned. If he loses, his contracts will be destroyed, and he will be bound to the spirit's place of death alongside them.

He accepts, thinking this is going to be the easiest thing in the world. He's already trained so many ghosts how to scare, its his whole thing!

And then Juno picks the Maitlands.

He was excited for all of two seconds, thinking Juno lost her mind giving him TWO ghosts to work with, but that excitement is quickly and brutally extinguished because my version of the Maitlands are exactly like they are in the musical.

He manages to last almost two weeks before they drive him fucking crazy, and he gives up. He meets up with Juno on the roof and tries to complain that picking these two wasn't fair, yada yada, but she's having none of it. As agreed, all his contracts are destroyed, freeing the ghosts who are bound to him (notice how after the Invisible Reprise he doesn't have background dancers anymore until the wedding??), and he can't leave the house. He is BaNiShEd! DiSaVoWeD! And its going to be really fucking hard to get back to where he was before when the only ghosts he has are the goddamn Maitlands.

Then the Deetz finally move in, and he meets Lydia. A 16 yr old goth girl writing a suicide note- who can SEE him. Their first meeting goes almost exactly the same as canon, except Lydia jumps afterwards, still very much suicidal and believing that the Maitlands are unable to make her dad see them.

Barbara's ghosty powers kick in right on time, and she levitates Lydia back to safety. Cue the gushy ass scene that keeps me awake at night, where the Maitlands tell Lydia she doesn't have to do things alone, she can rely on other people, they aren't going to give up on helping her after only one failed attempt :') New Parental Figures Acquired.

Then they fail again and Lydia can't deal. She summons Betelgeuse!

Now to the part that you actually asked about, which was my take on Lydia and Betelgeuse's dynamic sjslkdlsjs. When he first met her on the roof, he was just gonna kill her or steal her soul after being summoned, but in the five minutes they spoke he went from looking down on her, to seeing her as a challenge, then to downright respect by the time she pushed him off the roof lmao. Even at her most vulnerable emotional state she doesn't let herself get pushed around, and even takes the time to actively fuck with him. Mad respect.

Lydia has dealt with enough predators to recognize the glint in his eye right off the bat. She enjoys taking some of her anger out on him, since he clearly needs something from her and won't be properly retaliating. When the dinner party thing happens, she figures she was going to kill herself anyways, what more could a demon possibly do?

At this point Betelgeuse is just delighted. As an immortal, boredom and being trapped are two of his worst nightmares, and this girl just handed him some freedom and goddammit she's interesting. Most people would cower when a demon shows their true form in the middle of the living room, but she just ran up to him and told her dad "this is what you get!" Like bitch! He's sold! He wants to hang out with this fucked up breather.

Okay summary time because I could Go On. Betelgeuse wants to be needed, he wants people who can't leave him, and he wants to be free to do whatever he likes. Lydia needs him, but she also seems to genuinely like him, which isn't really a thing he's used to. Suddenly he feels the need to constantly impress her, he loves making her laugh, he loves listening to her talk about weirdo shit, and he loves how she isn’t as uptight as other breathers are about him doing things like- summoning snakes out of a pizza box and having them maul the face of the delivery guy.

Lydia just wants to be seen and accepted for who she is, and someone she can rely on when things are hard. Betelgeuse is literally the only person in the five years since her mom died (yeah in my AU its been 5 yrs not 6 months) who she has been able to rely on to keep her physically safe. Who has no issue with her talking about weird/gross things, and who actively encourages her to let out her emotions instead of keeping them pent up.

But this sudden release of all the anger, pain and frustration she’s kept inside her is what leads to this new, crueler attitude she picked up. She laughs at Betelgeuse chasing a child with a fake disembodied head, laughs at the pizza guy writhing with snakes biting his face, and mockingly joins the dance of the three possessed people because she is just... dissociating. And why should she care about other ppl’s pain anyway, when they ignored hers all this time? She rides the power high of having a demon enamored with her, backing up her anger with literal fire. It’s extremely self-destructive and unhealthy! :)

[erght]

today i got another example of why i should just try to do my best and stop overthinking things that would just drag me deeper in this rabbit hole of anxiety. so; earlier this week, i got assigned to join my PM on a meeting to clear things up for our out coming PoC. the meeting has already been arranged since 2 weeks prior cs the time difference between our time and montreal was quite the hinder for both side to compromise. its clear that we should make good use out of it cs anything left unclear would just mean that things would be put on hold till next year.

well; that was the catch but, on the day of the meeting, my PM told me that he was feeling sick and was on nebulizer atm so he told me to take the lead. of course i said roger that and please let me try, but in all honesty, i was trying to face the unknown. i mean; i was about 3 weeks in, i spent my first week on having a handover from they guy who would resign his post, then spent the next week on learning product knowledge, and this week—the third week—right from the bat i was asked to lead an important meeting. also of course; no, not that im making an excuse or seeking for one. im aware that i do know the basic and gist of the scope, but what i didnt know of is the background of this PoC. i just got the brief that it was about the planned integration of our system to their system and we are trying to make sure that it could work by having this meeting. fuck it—i said to myself—i should just try it first cs theres no way i would know things if i didnt try them first and just go with it. 20 minutes in, all went well. i got what he meant from his demo/guide to the integration, but then our IT—who also joined the meeting—sent me his questions by chat so that i could ask them in their stead. here comes the problem; theres a question from him that i didnt know of yet cs its related to our previous project—which obviously takes place way before i got to join the company—and i didnt know where to start with that question. theres quite the awkward silence, and since it was supposed to be on me—by my natural fear if i fuck things up in this important meeting—i started to stutter. oh fuck—i said to myself—i lost my composure, i failed to take the lead. then my PM tried to help me by explaining things by chat—bombarding, to be exact—which was not helpful at all cs my mind was done at that point as my head was filled with oh fuck i failed im doomed the face of our company is on shambles bcs of me blablargh. then i tried to ask them at some point—stuttered—which didnt quite received well by the opposition. at this point my PM chatted me “calm down”; which i replied “give me a sec”, “thank you but im sorry”. then my PM take off his nebulizer and take the lead. 15 minutes later; its done, with uncleared things. we were forced to arrange later meeting when both side got their time on the table. later on, i just got to know by chance that our high ups was also listening to the meeting but by using a separate meet link that was linked to my PM mics. my hells all breaks loose, i spent the rest of the day with headache and a constant silent screams. hm.

later that night; of course by my natural fear of things, i succumbed myself deep in anxiety. from how the next friday would be when it was scheduled for our weekly meet. to how hard i think it was for the sales to catch this foreign client just for me to fuck it up messily. to what should i do if we couldnt get the PoC working by the end of the year. to how busy everyone will be cs next week was our scheduled time for the yearly report to be finalized. to every little things that was fucked up bcs of me. to my own reminder that last week my dad was feeling sick—not covid—but still forcing himself to work instead of going to the hospital for check up. i hate myself more at that point.

later on the next day; i asked my PM, “am i in trouble?”. im prepared for the answer, i just cant help myself not to ask it just for fulfilling my anxiety or tbh to justify my own failure. which he replied; “not at all” “but calm down” “im sorry that im in a bad shape yesterday”, which i replied “im sorry”, with lots of crying emojis cs i dont want to make things even more awkward between us when he told me to just be informal with him when i kept using formal touch in between our talks. he just want to be that guy that his coworker could just laugh when they want to laugh and serious when its needed at times. he also laughs it off and we go on. i felt a bit relieved. but of course the anxiety was there. it persist. later after work; i called my dad, i asked him whether he had done his check up or not. which he said that its okay, that hes okay now, he was just tired that day and his old body just acting up. i kept telling him to just go to the hospital asap when its ever occured again, which he laugh it off. and of course i told him about it cs he somehow sense it out of me. he said “dont be so hard on yourself” “you did your best didnt you” “you did try instead of turning your back didnt you” “its okay to feel that way but that means you know wheres youre lacking at now didnt you” “you got to know whats to improve” “you got to try and face another problem on your way” “think more about the benefit of improvement than thinking the endless bad things out from it” “dont keep them on and brush it off” “now have you had dinner yet? if you havent then order some, order something expensive to treat yourself from trying your best about it then get some good sleep” “it will be okay” “now get your dinner”. so then, i had mine. it was delicious; and of course i cant sleep that well, its a different case than just having a simple dinner, but i got to sleep anyway.

fast foward to this day; our weekly meet, we talk about a lot of things but none of it was about my messed up on lead. she just said that lets do our best again next week, dont stay up late and take your rest properly. idk why; but maybe she had done her talk with my PM about it or about why did he got in such a bad shape that day without me knowing obviously its their talk and not mine. i didnt get the hard slap that i expected. well; maybe its still there, but just on due lmao. its okay. i want to believe that its okay. cs; it is, okay. lets just try our best, me. believe. its our power that no one could do, to ourself, cs we had to believe in ourself first before letting them believe in us. you had to believe in me, i got to believe in you. believe. lets try this.

[thedappleddragon]

haha here we go again

there's a lot of dumb ranting and 3 days worth of logs and a dream in here so im gonna spare evryone’s dashboard and just put it all under the cut.

tw bad memories, talk of unhealthy relations with food, and dreams about dead animals

I realized I kind of entirely forgot to write about what I did yesterday? I kind of did a lot. I know my mom wanted to work on getting tile laid out in front of her bathroom, so we worked together to scrub the concrete and wipe up all the dirt and dust and whatever was under the carpet and remove some of the nails in the floor and bring up a spiky metal strip between the bathroom door and where the carpet was. The other main thing I remember is deciding to continue work on my dress, sewing up the outer bodice, checking that the bodice and lining would fit together, deciding I’d rather have no different colored front panel, and working on the circle skirt. At first I tried cutting the fabric on my bed, but it wasn’t big enough and too lumpy. I contemplated asking my friends if I could borrow their dining table, but I ended up clearing off my own. After I traced and was in the middle of pinning, I accidentally knocked over a glass bowl that I had set on the chair. My mom heard it from the other room and had me come to her room to tell her what it was. She got angry at me, which I thought was fuckin stupid if it was an accident, but after some reflection while cleaning up the glass pieces, I kind of understood why. Mostly I got a little upset about 2 ceramic pieces I made during school breaking a little from the drop. One was a mushroom house from middle school that always makes me remember feeling like an asshole during peer review when I told my person to smooth their project more because I didn’t know “no improvement needed” was an option until I got back to my desk and saw my person saying it was good in all categories because everyone thought my project was great for some reason. The other was a bunch of flowers on a circle. It was the last project we did before quarantine hit, I think. That one is in less tough shape, just a couple flowers knocked off and a chip on one of them. They can both be glued back together, I guess. Then my mom called me back into her room to listen to her talk about wanting to eat huge amounts of food, because she’s clinically depressed with BPD and PTSD and DID and several other acronyms and her favorite coping mechanism is food, but her doctor put her on a diet so she can get her knees replaced, but recently she’s been getting into a zone where she talks about wanting to eat entire cakes and pizzas and buckets of kfc and a gallon of queso or whatever the fuck and she goes “doesn’t that sound GOOD?” And I have to laugh along and say “haha no that sounds bad actually” and get her a piece of ham or something. And every time she goes on her spiel the only thing I can think of is the greedy from the raggedy Ann and Andy musical. It’s just this horrible undulating orange blob that eats everything in sight and seeing it for the first time just made me think of mom and it made me very uncomfortable, with all the orange goo and hurling noises. Also reminds me of this horrible video game boss fight where it’s the apocalypse and a fat lady on a scooter took over the buffet and eats so much during her boss fight, during the defeat cutscene she projectile vomits everywhere and dies. My brother Greg showed me that thinking it was funny. I hated it, and I still do. He showed me a lot of things he thought were funny as a shitty little kid, and I remember several of them being very upsetting. It’s ok. I don’t want to dwell on it. But after cleaning the glass and talking to mom I brought my fabric to my room and called it a night. Oh wait my dad also helped me with some paperwork my coworker handed me so I could get on the payroll.

Today I woke up differently than I have in a long time. I set an alarm for 10 am so I could be at work by 11, but I woke up at 9 from a heavy sleep with dreams about hanging out with my friend in my room, worrying about my dirty house. I wanted to sleep longer, so I got up at 10 to have breakfast and get ready. I spent my shift changing the price tags all around the store, making everything more expensive. I’m gonna work again on Tuesday where I’ll learn how to use the register. I hope I don’t fuk it up, but I have a couple days to relax until then. Maybe I’ll work on my dress. My friends all want to go to prom together, so my new deadline will be March 2nd or a little before. I still need to buy a ticket, but I don’t have access to the link to buy one :( bleh I’m too tired right now to worry about this shit. I only worked 4 hours again today, but after I got home I felt like I could have worked longer if they gave me something else to do. The only price tags left to change were a bunch of grills and stuff I don’t know about but I don’t know if they had any other work for my to do. But I’m glad I went home tho because I was hungry and my feet hurt from standing lol. I did laundry and made myself dinner and washed my hair and drew a little bit and made the table and tbh the pacing of today has been so weird I don’t remember everything. It’s only 1am but I think I’m just gonna go to bed. my friends started talking about going to prom, and I really want to join them, but I can't figure out where/how to buy a ticket. my brain started being really mean to me, syaing that I was being annoying and pushy and that they didnt want me at prom for some reason, so I low-key almost made myself cry until my friend offered to let me be their platonic date since their partner couldn't go. 

last night I had a dream about a hard video game where when you played it, the black shadow enemies would fight you in real life, and one of them left imprints on my arm in the shape of lego bricks. they could only attack you so long as you played the game, and they tried to capture people and you were supposed to save them. I decided it was my time to play, and I walked into my garage that had turned into a cave with bat-people fused into the wall. I paid them no mind as I rescued a girl who was my irl brother, grabbing her hand and pulling her into another versoin of my garage which was uncorrupted and normal looking. she thanked me, and I said it was no problem. then I tricked her, telling her not to trust so easily, as I became one of the shadow enemies and engulfed her in a black sack, trapping her and leaving the room. I came back a couple minutes later, letting him free (now my brain told me he was my brother) telling him I just wanted to know if I was capable of tricking him, and didnt actually want to kill him or whatever.  another big chunk of my dream was taken up by me, my sister, and my dad visiting a run down petting zoo/gamestop. the petting zoo barn was very dark with low ceilings with lots of rabbits and pigs and hay. one of us accidentally killed either a pig or a tiger right next to the exit door, and I had to slink around the gamester trying to distract the owner and keep him from going in the barn and escaping at the same time. I dont remember how it ended, other than me waking up with a sore throat from breathing so deeply through my nose. I had slept on my stomach wit my pillow in my face so I could hardly breathe, and even after I woke up I felt like I wasnt getting enough air. I HATE that feeling, I always felt like I was suffocating in middle school for some reason. I thinkk somethings wrong with my airway but im not gonna do anything about it. im gonna continue to spend 80% of my day laying down so my resting heart rate and breathing speed is slower than an goddamn sloth. whatever.

right now as im laying in bed typing this I feel utterly unpoductive but I KNOW I did SOME shit today. but yeah mostly I relaxed. I worked on my dress, removing and replacing the blue front panel. I lost my exacto knife somewhere so I went to dollar tree to get a knockoff, along with snacks for mom and my sister. the blades aren't as sharp as exacto, but I still know where the name brands blades are so maybe Ill try and see if they're compatible. when I open the package everything was oily and gross, so I washed everything off with soap and water before I used them to cut the threads of the panel seams. I could have used my seam ripper but I wanted to get a replacement craft knife anyway. its kinda neat that it came with 6 different shaped blades for different crafts :) but uhh I also cut out the other half of the circle skirt of the dress, and I have a bunch of extra fabric left over. probably enough to make a whole other bodess if I wanted too. I used my sewing machine to attach the new front panel, and I was hoping to get more sewing done tonight, but when I asked my sister if it was ok for me to use my sewing machine (it right next to the wall between our rooms so she can hear it from there) she said she was going to bed soon so I just attatched the front panel and called it a night. so that kinda sucked. I still have another day tomorrow before I have to work again, and I can still work on my dress on Tuesday after work. idk why my brain thinks that one 4 hour shift is gonna take up my entire day lmao. I just have to get the whole thing done by may 2nd. GOD that reminds me, im gonna be so busy next month. I have six events back to back happening like every other day, plus work. oof. I'll have to let my boss know, but idk If that's gonna make him mad. I've already got pretty comfortable with the lady in charge of the garden center who’s taken lead position while the manager is on vacation, but I dont think I;ll every understand my boss. he’s a sarcastic busy old man and NOT AT ALL approachable. whatever. really the only other tings I did today were drink a shit ton of water play harvest moon, spend too much time on tiktok, and sraw a couple dum things for my friends’ princess au. I fucking HATE the drawing I did for Anna, so I designed her a secondary outfit more inspired by sky pirate bohemian vibes, since she rules over the floating islands. idk if I'll replace her old outfit with the new one in the lineup or just re-draw her old one with better shapes and composition and match the style better or what. I just need it changed eventually becasuse it looks like ass. tbh now that ve taken a little bit of time away from the princess au, there are a couple designs im not 100% satisfied with. but I know that if I go back and make them more detailed or whatever the’ll be more of a hassle to draw and aslkdfhalksdf I dont know anymore. I'm still tied up about color pallets and trying to give everyone a distinct color, and im a little upset it doesn't quite work, and FUCK dude the edgy one’s lore and character are weird and I kind of want to revise it to make it a little nicer but its not my character and I need to stop shoving my dirty little mitts into everyone’s ocs and AHAGHRGHGARGHHG idk man. her power is necromancy and she has a skeleton army, which I think I kinda cool, but I also think it would be neat if her powers extended beyond just that to communing with the dead, helping them find rest, and THEN maybe it can branch into helping fallen soldiers fight again to help them with unfinished buisness. and then if she goes feral and starts abusing her powers, she ignores all the communication and concent with the dead and instead magically rips them from thr ground to do her bidding and they’re uncontrollable and violent and aimless, just like her mind slipping from the magical blight infecting her. idk man we’re till working on a lot of lore. her concept could be SO COOL with just that little bit of extra thought, but so far it’s just MY POWER IS DEATH IM SO EDGY. ugh I know its fuckin rude to bash your friends oc ideas and I might be too overbearing and controlling of this au but dammit im tired and im mean sometimes and my ego is through the goddamn roof and im so sexy and im always right and my meat is huge. ah shit I rpomised my friend I would help her with character design for the dead king but I was busy when she firat asked me and now im not busy but im not doing it ugh. im just frustrated right now because I spent wayyyy to fuckin long just laying in bed watching tikotks and youtube and playing harvest moon an doing jack shit all day. but hey at least I attempted to get a new social security card again today. and them promptly gave up when they said my adress was invalid. again. I feel like im in an uncomfortable medium between having no plans and worrying about the future and having too many plans all the time oh my god. ive been so focused on getting a job and then having a job and making this dress I completely forgot about college shit. thankfully there's no hard deadlines coming up that I haven't already finished. whatever I dont really want to worry about all this hit right now, im just gonna take it one day at a time. (haha it feels like my angel oc just stepped in. how nice of him :) )

[thethirdwheel404]

Med Rewatch Series (#2)

\haha yeah I was totally planning on sleeping but I literally cannot think about anything else other than getting this idea out of my brain. so, we will try to get through the finale of s2: Love Hurts. please enjoy.

-okay so right off the bat before even starting the episode, i noted a few things. the episode description is “Robin experiences complications and a new face arrives at the hospital.” How fucking annoying that it’s the season finale and the entire episode is centered around connor? of course, at this point we don’t know that the ‘new face’ is his future love interest.

-also!!! the fact that ava is mentioned in the episode description of the season finale? That’s huge!

-the episode description makes it sound like nothing fucking happens in this episode.

-also i am extremely scared to start the ep bc i feel like it is going to through me straight back into the deep end and put me in a state of emotional shock.

-i will try to take very deep breaths before the episode starts. okay. here we go.

-does this episode open with robin being carted in on the ambo bc if this is the ep im thinking about, i remember appreciating how angsty this scene was

-i still remember charles yelling ‘2 of adavan!’

-okay hi sarah i really was not expecting to see you this soon

-oh wow. just. sarah calling shots in the ed. in control. you love to see it. also. im just now remembering how early in the ep we get to meet ava. i always remembered it as being at the very end but. i remember connor being distraught with his messy hair.

-also i’m highkey loving how out-of-control connor is rn

-reese. god i missed you so much.

-they counted again. love that.

-okay but like i have no analysis just every time sarah’s onscreen i just want to say ‘i love you’

- i have not heard sarah speak in a HOT SEC and god i forgot how deep her voice was and it is sending me (its not even that deep i just like, forgot.) It has been years and I honestly think i have forgotten who sarah really was. sad.

-like i don’t remember the last time i could describe her as in control but right now treating robin she’s calm (honestly bc she’s the only other shrink on the show, but HOLD ON WAIT DOESNT CHARLES GET SHOT AT THE END OF THIS EPISODE WHAT THE FUCK. reese has one moment. and then her and charles start bickering. i remember why i was so mad)

-i’m in love with her.

-i really have to sit through the next 40 mins of this and just everytime i see sarah going ‘i love her,’ and now you do too.

-oh my god CHARLES SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU CANNOT BLAME CONNOR FOR THIS

-also the reason i became disillusioned: dr charles just started being suuuuuper sus.

-i do love sarah. and honestly, connor, not my favorite, but this storyline really made me empathize with him. his girlfriend is having a psychotic break and people keep shitting on him. (maybe the reason i didn’t like ava at first. really kicked him while he was down)

-I... haha. sarah. hnghhh. you can guess the rest.

-if you were in this situation, with robin, would you be thinking like connor or would you be thinking like charles? personally- connor. Robin was fine. maybe a little impulsive to take her home, but charles was being suuuper overprotective (from what I remember).

-Charles: “This is on you. You did this.” I remember that line hitting really hard when I watched it the first time lmao damn.

-SARAH. HER EYES ARE RED. SHE’S SAD. SHE’S CRYING! COME ONNNN MEDDD YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME!!! (and I swallowed my water the wrong way which somehow triggered my gag reflex so now im crying too please god stop Im sorry what did I do)

-yay sarah. hey guys look at that. sarah gets to, like, do her job.

-ALSO I JUST REALIZED THAT S3 STILL SUCKS FOR SARAH BC OF HER INTENSE INTENSE PTSD??? LIKE SHE WHOLE ASS PEPPERSPRAYS HER PATIENT???

-also these are the clothes charles got shot in and honestly i’m not even mad. I’m mad that him getting shot put sarah through so much pain (i talked a lot about ava but y’all are really gonna see just how protective i am of sarah. like god even I forgot.)

-you can see how much sarah cares about connor. which is like, fantastically crazy. (it fuels the rheese shippers which is why i tend to be against it) but just like, that’s just how sarah is. she cares so much. she’s not even close to connor, but you can see how much she cares. this is why its so unfair for sarah to work in psych. like, she’s way too soft for that come on man. (y’all remember the huge car crash episode and at the end she tells ethan that it was nice to be back in the ed bc you can fix people’s bodies but not their minds? 1) she was adorable in that. 2) i am so scared for her. she just cares too much)

-okay but the above bullet is probably the exact reason why people ended up shipping ava and sarah. they both are characters who care way more than they let on. sarah is the only one in the hospital who would probably give ava a second chance after an icy first encounter. That being said, being realistic? ava is probably the only one who would she the bullshit that sarah has to go through everyday, so she would never have the icy first encounter. which in turn sets sarah’s empathy bells off or whatever.

-honestly? ava is a mean to people because she thinks they deserve it. that’s it. she’s not a bitch or anything like that (and yeah, ava stans do a little bit of overlooking her behavior bc hey if a careless med student bumps into her while passing by, thats on them). (and of course, in this world and in reesker minds, sarah has never done anything wrong, ever.)

-look guys, i did it. i boiled reesker down to its bare essentials! (lmao tho literally walking through it again from almost a totally fresh perspective, it is still so easy to see how they would have been great together.)

-also. uh. not to pile on the reesker but. ----- connor just got paged by latham. is-is it happening?

-refusing to go home and sleep because the person you care most about is lying in a hospital bed is such classic angst oh my god

-wtf? charles has meds i completely forgot? for his heart? when is he gonna get shot the suspense is killing me.

-ALSO. YOU ARE TELLING ME. THAT S3 SARAH HAD TO DEAL WITH PTSD AND A POSSIBLE PATIENT LAWSUIT. AT THE SAME TIME HER FATHER WAS BEING SUSPECTED OF MURDER, AT THE SAME TIME HE TRIED TO RECONNECT. it is a fucking crime that that is the season we have to rewatch. its a crime they abused her so much.

-waiting for charles to keel over and die like

-the worst thing is that like, he actually cares. he actually truly cares about sarah, he just did a lot of bad things. so sarah has to justify them all! and sarah had no idea how to feel because now she’s disillusioned again. please chill

-lmao stoll wow 

-oh. soft sweet boy noah. he really doesn’t know better, and that’s almost the worst thing.

-also. dr. shore. that’s really all i have to say about that.

-ohhhhh my god nat fucking chill

-what is it with couples on mad and not being allowed to be happy. (this could be about reesker if you, like, reallyyyy squint)

-aw! hey, look! it’s jay! he’s nice to look at too. ooh i also forgot how deep his voice was lol

-counting

- i honestly forgot what a good source of angst this show was. this guys parents are flying in from germany to go to his graduation and then he got hit by a car??? damn

- i still forget how much i like the cop/doctor brother duo. I love it.

-GUYSSS

-GUYSSS ITS HAPPENING

-the air literally left my lungs I am not ready.

-ITS FUCKING

-oh my god

-it is 3 am and I just screamed out loud holy shit

-I FORGOT I FUCKING FORGOT. IT DOESNT HAPPEN WITH HER IN CASUAL CLOTHES. THAT IS AT THE END. I FORGOT THEY INTERACT WITH HER IN SCRUBS

- I FORGOT I FUCKING FORGOT

--holy shit she is fucking stunning. she was just allowed to be like that? in her first introduction? while connor looks like complete shit? IMAGINE THE POWER SHE HAS HOLY SHIT. THIS IS THE GREATEST POWER MOVE IVE EVER SEEN.

-uh for those of you who are confused, ava bekker has entered the scene and holy. shit. is she fucking amazing. and she hasn’t even said a word yet. all she did was turn

-H E R P O W E R

-uhhuufhuahdoas back to the analysis - latham reiterated all of the points we just discussed in the premiere, only goes to show how this was planned, from the start.

- t h e p o w e r ava has to step on the scene and instantly fuck things up. I ASPIRE

-okay let me try again to move forward. (nope. i tried to go back to the tab and just. the expression on her face. guys. i cannot express the emotions. we will press on)

-deep breaths

-she’s so pretty oh my god

-I-uh- okay listen. it is really, really, really hard to analyze this because i have not watched an actual scene or actually heard her talk in her very very pretty accent in two years. I, uh, i need a minute.

-i honestly cannot recall a thing she just said. (i am literally in fucking love) (i’m gonna go back and rewatch the scene and see what I pick up)

-THE----the fucking way she puts her hand back in her pocket

-GOD IM FUCKING GAY

-as for analysis - god that cheeky little smile.

-she’s blunt. is what took me about 75 words to say. this is gonna be a nightmare. (if i torture myself and make myself watch s4 and s5 then I’ll be really sad) (at this point can you imagine what would’ve happened if i had watched her death? I’m remembering exactly how crushed I was)

-OH. YEAH. IN CASE YOU FORGOT? THAT GIRL? THE SNARKY ONE? ON SCREEN RIGHT NOW? SHE’S. FUCKING. DEAD. CANONICALLY SHES DEAD. HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

-like just that fact is sending me so hard. i am already so sad. I had like thirty seconds of elation. it’s not FUCKING FAIR

- i need another minute. AND SHE STILL HAS ANOTHER LINE.

-this doesn’t really pertain to the theory but the “loyal, that’s sweet” line has got to mean something. Like something to be said about how connor couldn’t commit to her in s4. (its just so fucking unfair that she’s dead but we really need to move on)

-this also means that ava isn’t entirely loyal? bc she’s looking down on connor for being loyal? I um really don’t have all the info to unpack All of that, but it should be noted.

-DID YOU CONNOR? DID YOU ENJOY WORKING TOGETHER???

-from ava stan perspective: @ connor you like made her life hell, which wasn’t your fault but still. uhh she’s the one that’s dead, you’re not, so obviously one of you enjoyed it a little more. let’s move on.

-i love her.

-haha oh man jack kelloggs back. FUCKING MERC HIS ASS (i don’t hate charles that much and this storyline gave me so much fucking anxiety throughout the ep)

-god jack kelloggs such an asshole

-OKAY BRUH ETHAN AND APRIL HAVE A THING THIS SEASON? jesus this show really moves

-there are a lot of things I could complain about.

-will: “Why’d she do that? Cut her hair. A woman makes a change like that, it’s a big deal.” S4 AVA WHAT DOES IT MEAN

-i can’t believe its the season finale and they have enough time for will to ask maggie why nat cut her hair. this show is the reason I have anxiety. charles is about to get shot and what are you doing

-oh. oh wow. noah and sarah bickering/noah flirting. it’s like, adorable. which i don’t think is really fair. just, sarah’s the best

-I- uh- can’t believe that was the first time I watched an ava scene in years? that was a really big step for me?? god wow.

-god remember how sarah just like, saved robin? yall remember that? REMEMBER WHEN SARAH COULD DO THINGS? there’s a reason i hated this show.

-okay but just like the fact that charles was - content with letting his daughter be holed up in a room for the foreseeable future? when sarah had a perfectly logical answer? who is he trying to undermine here? (and that is why i hate charles)

-sharon: “where’s the daniel who doesn’t give up? doesn’t your own daughter deserve that much?” kind of a reach but if charles really cares about sarah as much as he does, and sharon knows this, the double meaning here is almost impeccable.

-oh hey guys! ava’s back!

-okay this is like super nitpicky but at this point it feels like norma didn’t have the accent down packed and its a little exaggerated and awkward at times but, come on, still love her.

-Ava: “excuse me, you’re an emergency medicine resident, why are we even talking” AVA BEKKER REALLY TAKES NO SURVIVORS (the writers just really weren’t banking on the fans being that attracted to ava) (like i forgot how blunt she was and holy shit. wow. i kinda see where the haters were coming from. its amazing to see how we clawed her back tho [by we i mean the lesbians])

-analytical. That’s what ava is. It’s almost like that thing where people purposefully say something outlandish just to gauge people’s reaction. she doesn’t argue with connor, at least not now. she just looks between him and ethan, sees she’s outnumbered, and walks off. She doesn’t know how the place works yet. she’s testing the waters. - this could be why she slowly gets more and more confrontational as the series progresses. she sees that no matter what, everyone will be on connor’s side. she doesn’t fight a losing battle. but when you’re constantly losing, its frustration. (reminder, these things only hold true in s3. s4 doesn’t exist)

-I’m fucking?? where the hell did jeff go?

-also, oh, this is maggie’s storyline. the guy dies right but he wanted to propose to the girl? wait no that doesn’t seem right...

-yooo its the girl in the gorilla costume. certified iconic. also how the hell did they have enough time for all this crap in the finale. this show fucking moves.

-for like a split second i forgot that noah and april were siblings

-noah’s a sweetie

-oh hey look it’s ava

-knock knock. who’s there? oh boy, point one for ava stans, she’s right about the surgery (potential evidence showing how this is the first scene of connor not being shit/actually being out or equally matched)

-OKAY WOW SARAH GO OFF (she’’s just fantastic i mean look at her. she’s adorable)

-ava: “Why do all the residents in this hospital think they can offer their opinions?” DR BEKKER PLEASE (okay but like i said last ep i had the exact same question. go off ava)

-connor just took control of the case (first instance of ava outright saying ‘i disagree’) (and let me guess, he’s gonna be right in the end because he literally fucking always is)

-if you look at it from a different perspective, ava was necessary. they needed someone to put connor in his place. at least, she tried. (very disappointing that she also had to sleep with him but that’s not the current point) if they wanted to fix his problem of coming off as spoiled, ava gave him a force to fight against, to earn his stars. they could’ve done it better, and actually had him lose a few times. because what does constantly letting connor win do? it undermines ava, it also undermines his attending. his attending who he is constantly having to stick up for. dude. hero complex chill. ava never had a hero complex. which cannot be said for a lot of the people on the show (IF YOU EVEN TRY TO ARGUE THIS POINT IS WRONG I POINT YOU TO THE EPISODE WHERE AVA PUSHED THE CREDIT FOR THE SURGERY ONTO CONNOR WHEN A FAMILY MEMBER WAS HUGGING HER) they did it wrong. they tried to, idk, fix connor by giving him humility, but they kind of completely forgot the humility part. and the part where he learns things. HE EVEN HAS TO STAND UP FOR AVA TO HER OWN MENTOR. LITERALLY? DUDE? FUCKING. CHILL.

-okay but that’s what it is though. ava was always meant to be the villain. because she was always a counter for connor. and connor is the hero. (you may be thinking this goes against my theory because I’m fighting for ava rights, but my actual theory is that ava was never supposed to stay past s3. the only reason she stayed was because she became a fan favorite. she was supposed to take connor’s mayo clinic offer. and you know how it probably would have happened? Connor probably would have gave her the offer. letting him be the hero one last time. [of course, this isn’t what happened. we all know.])

-OKAY FUCK THIS RESIDENT? “good call, Dr. Rhodes” SHUT THE FUCK UP??? (resident speaking rights revoked)

-I have nothing for this but just want to point out how she looks around and says “yes” all contemplative. god if i could just think about what she was thinking

-jack bro stop

-okay. was there ever an active shooter in the hospital when ava was around. bc if there was. i legally need to know

-lmao stoll

-sarah... makes me smile.

-fun fact: we are at about the half way mark. I am so sorry.

-no no no nono. so, robin just got diagnosed and is getting prepped for surgery. Sarah. don’t give charles credit for solving it. stop.

-Hey! yall remember how the best characters on the show only got thirty seconds of onscreen time together? yeah! I’m still mad about it too!

-aww connor being worried. (i think im fine with connor as long as like, ava is no where near. this scene is just very pure)

-when is this guy gonna get shot already

-aww he loves her. i want to kill him. (why? playboy. gets feelings way too quick. stop him. keep him away from ava)

-HAHAHAH okay. robin just got put into surgery and latham and ava are performing it (is it a brain surgery? yes. are they ct surgeons? yes. don’t ask questions) BUT you can see this emotion on ava’s face. she feels sorry for him. it’s up for us to decide if its condescending or she just feels bad for or bc she is on a surgery he wanted, but for the sake of opinion, i’m inclined to say she just felt bad for him (cough empathy cough)

-literally everytime charles is on screen im like when is he gonna get shot

-this scene where both connor and charles admit they were wrong is very nice (hey actually look, connor does have humility! not in front of ava tho so hmm) (sexual tens- literally no, shut the fuck up)

-HAHA HOLY SHIT I FORGOT CONNORS MOM KILLED HERSELF?? HOLY SHIT? THIS FUCKING GUY LITERALLY CANT CATCH A BREAK (maybe take a hint bro? and go far far away? well he did. too little too late ig)

-connor: “i obviously couldn’t save my mom, but I sure as hell didn’t try to save robin” *through cupped hands* HEY! HEY CONNOR! D-DID YOU TRY? WITH AVA? DID YOU TRY? okay literally what is it with this guy and people dying. for such a good surgeon... oh yeah, irony.

-hi sarah! how nice of you to check in with connor and charles about robin!

-sarah: *looks between charles and connor, who have probably agreed on something for the first time since connor got with robin* “everything okay?” literally she’s so sweet my heart.

- sarah: *laughs in disbelief* SARAH STOP MY HEART IS ALREADY FULL

-this man needs to button the top button of his shirt, i do not like that i can see it

-I------ HOLY SHIT?

-WHY DID NO ONE FUCKING WARN ME THAT JOEY WAS STILL ON THE SHOW???

-FUCKING EXCUSE ME???

- the air left lungs on that one again, i was Not expecting that.

-HOLD THE FUCK ON. I JUST WENT OF HIS WIKI AND HE APPEARS IN S4??? FUCKING WHAT??? SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT HE FUCKING DID AND IF IT WAS IMPORTANT

-sarah reese is such a fucking dork she got her boyfriend a rubik’s cube as a gift?? a guy who is so nerdy that he definetly already has like five of them. hmm. things don’t add up. also he’s nerdy enough to give back a gift at the breakup. dude seriously. get some social cues. in like the bargin bin at goodwill. please.

-IF SARAH FUCKING CRIES I SWEAR TO GOD

-oh yeah she’s pregnant. that’s how the story ends.

-okay. natalie comes off as empathetic but like, in the most condescending way.

-like its fucking obvious she’s only ever caring about herself (ava bekker would never. sarah reese would never. get your head out of your ass) (ok wow that aggression came from nowhere lmao)

- i really wanna say something about - Connor: “We all know that love can hurt, but loneliness? that’ll kill you.” have fun with that fic writers. (insert obvious connection to loneliness killing ava? have we had enough? this doesn’t pertain to the theory)

-jesus will at this point stop hesitating at the ‘if we’re wrong, it could kill him’ stage. we all know you don’t care

-how funny would it be if the family just like, disowned that girl

-this will nat and co. love triangle is already so fucking exhausting

-JAY REALLY SAID WILL I AM TAKING NONE OF YOUR BS

-is he really about to break up with her. right now. i swear to fucking god

-this is so fucking stupid (what i would pay for ava to hand him his ass right here right now) (that’s a hc idea right there)

-FUCKING LEAVE ALREADY WILLIAM

-sarah and noah stay adorable

-aww stolllll, my heart

-lmao i forgot the girl who played robin was on once upon a time and i was like ‘ive seen her recently what was it’

-FINALLY HES GONNA FUCKING GET SHOT! HELL YES!

-charles looks high as balls

-the queen returns. she’s back

-IM GONNA FUCKING JUMP OFF A CLIFF

-okay. from the previous ep i mentioned ava’s line being something like ‘you’re quite the gossip magnet, your mother commited suicide, drove your girlfriend crazy, and you murdered your attending.” right?  we all remember that?

-well lads, do we remember connor’s response?

-connor: “...Well you’d better watch yourself, hadn’t you?”

-...

- I-

-hahahah this is not okay.

-AND GOD. JUST THE WAY AVA TAKES IT AND JUST SMILES, ACCEPTING THE CHALLENGE. holy shit. this fucking breaks my heart.

-i like almost can’t even appreciate the easy ending of noah’s grad party.

-oh yeah charles still hasn’t gotten shot.

-god sarah is still adorable. the way she finally relaxes FOR ONCE and lets herself have fun. fun fact: this may be the last time we see sarah just easily enjoying herself. also maybe the first.

- i am officially starting the save ava campaign, anyone who wants to join can. the goal is pretty simple. save ava. save our hearts.

-oh my god is he finally going to get shot?? like what dude come on

Okay. another episode down, the first full one, and what have we learned?

Well, this was Ava’s first episode and we learned how it seems she was doomed from the start. It makes no sense, even just her writing is disconnected from s2 to s3, like how do they do that? This ava lines up so well with s4 ava it’s almost uncanny. if you completely cut out s3 her character arc would make complete sense, in a frighteningly tidy way.

Like I said at the top, the fact that Ava was referenced in the episode description of the season finale is huge. It means she is a big character, ground shaking, almost. I really don’t know why they had to make this introduction at the end of s2 and not the beginning of s3, other than making it fit with the three month time jump that i’m pretty sure starts the season.

The way I see it, Ava had 4 main interactions/points. 1) She called connor loyal (and was blunt about Latham) 2) She remarks that residents shouldn’t have speaking rights (that one’s just funny) and disagrees with connor on the surgery, which they go with connor’s decision because of course they do. granted they switch to her plan midway through) 3) connor takes over her surgery after they disagree on whether or not the patient can be saved. Connor is right. and 4) we have the final ‘I like dangerous men’ interaction.

Let’s focus on the train of Ava vs. Connor disagreements. If we go by my previous statement which was Ava was designed as the villain to Connor’s hero, so the hero could win the favor of the public by defeating the villain, the trajectory of their interactions is not surprising in the slightest.

First, Connor wins the first point bc they initial go with his plan. Then, mid surgery, they have to switch to Ava’s plan, because she was right. This obviously pisses him off, that he was wrong and she was right.  His crown had been knocked askew. But then, he wrestles it back. They disagree on whether or not the patient can be saved, connor takes complete control, and he actually ends up saving him.

It’s interesting that the final disagreement came at the sake of a patient’s life. Ava was quick to dismiss the heart as gone, but Connor fought for it, being the hero. It’s easy to shut Ava down right then and there, call her heartless and call it a day.

if s4 had come immedietely (i have no clue how to spell that) after, it would be completely in character for ava to be a psychopath from what little we’ve seen. And honestly, no one would care. The villain would get her due justice.

Let’s switch gears to the conspiracy theory, or the redemption arc. whichever sounds cooler.

A hero is only as good as their villain. That’s really my argument. At this point, yeah, s4 seems like it was planned, just based on s2.

Okay, so, what? Is that another layer of the theory that I’m adding? that the connor/ava plot of s4 was ACTUALLY supposed to be in s3? I... no. we’ve established that is is very rare for the med writers to plan storylines that far ahead. so what am I saying?

I think that the s4 plot was actually a scrapped plot potentially to be used in s3. and when they were left floundering at the end of s3 for an answer? they retreated. sacrificing character development in the process.

So what the hell happened in s3? A horrible fluke? why was it so different?

in s3 ava became more of a rival and less of a villain. while those words can have very similar meanings, the bulk of it is that neither of them really wanted to be that mean each other, they never went out of their way to stomp on the other (at least that I’m aware of). they just were always forced to work together, naturally leading to friction.

This shift meant all the difference. Connor no longer had to beat Ava. it wasn’t required. as a result, ava was very very slowly allowed to interact with people other than connor. she was allowed to slightly develop.

Why the shift? well, the conspiracy theory suggests it’s because they wanted someone who could follow up connor if he left at the end. IF they were true rivals, each of them should be able to hold their own without each other.

okay yeah, i managed to get like 4k words out of like 5 minutes a screen time and 8 lines. jesus christ.still didnt do my hw tho

next we watch the premiere of s3 and see what happens. thanks for reading

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read the next parts:

Part 1 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra