#im going tf to bed im in hell

[nighty-night-nh]

I have been painfully reminded why it's not a good idea to go into some fandom tags ever at 2 in the morning

[hauntingblue]

Episode 8 I am so scared....

[chaos-coming]

And now for my weekly sunday complaint post about how much i hate hate hate christianity

(The church bells woke me up way too early, again)

Good morning, happy lack of sleep and high blood pressure, the christians are rhythmlessly banging metal for three!! entire!! minutes!! They have to make sure you cant go back to sleep because its their God Time.

And since they need to insert themselves into every facet and moment of your life, you are also having Their God Time now. Fuck you nobody gets to sleep on sunday this is europe, conform or be destroyed.

[feverdreamsandlucidnightmares]

How do I explain to people that I have the impulse control of like,,,several day old roadkill

[hellion-child]

started a new scarf pattern (haven't knitted something in a while)

took a bit to get the tension right w the brioche stitch (u can see below where i did lol)

was going great til i dropped a stitch 💀💀 dunno how to fix that w this type of stitching

so between that nd the uneven tension i just started the whole thing again lmao

learn to knit they said its really calming nd relaxing they said 😌😌😌😌😌

[racew1nn3rs]

─ 𝘚𝘌𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘚, 𝘚𝘌𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘚 🫀

max verstappen x singer!fem reader // smau

⤷ summary: when max verstappen starts commenting on the posts of the beloved singer y/n l/n, fans are confused and less than enthusiastic at the new friendship. what they could never expect is just how long they've been 'friends'...

based on this request <3

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liked by sabrinacarpenter, maxverstappen1, and 46,908 others

tagged sabrinacarpenter

ynusername my new album is now officially out on all platforms! thank you so so much for all of the love and support, and special thanks to sab for her feature on the song <33 love u bb girl 🫦🫦 now that the album's out, tour next!!! see you all soon!

23,560 comments

user1 THE ALBUM OUT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL PEOPLE THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

user2 i cannot be normal about this i fear

user3 ik her back hurts from CARRYING the music industry on her back 😩

user4 hey so WHO TF IS SO AMERICAN ABOUT?? A LOVE SONG

user5 y/n writing a love song in god's year of 2024... wow

user6 y/n in the top 10 charts, fork found in kitchen

user7 sabrina and y/n are never beating the gf allegations

ynusername damn right we're not 😏

user7 HOLY SHIR HOKY SHIT HOKST SHUT

user8 y/n's in love and it's not with me, hanging myself as we speak

user9 the comment is gonna get reported but so real op

user8 can't a woman hang herself in peace 😣

user10 album's such a banger i had this shit bumpin at my grandmas funeral 🙏🏼 rest in piece nancy 🕊️💪🏻

user11 OH MY GOD???

user12 rest in piece nancy you would've loved make you mine 😔

ynusername oh my god please tell me your joking

user10 sorry queen the grind never stops

ynusername NO SHOT

maxverstappen1 great album! 👍🏼

user13 why does he text like my father 🧍🏻‍♀️

user14 brother eughh

user15 what da hell is a polar bear doin in arlington texas

ynusername thank you max!!!

user16 y/n l/n to redbull in 2025

user17 hellurrrrr who is this man in ur likes y/n

user18 f1 driver!!

user17 Y/N NO ATHELETES PLEAEJEWK 🫵

user18 tour content soon??? i'm sat

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user19 bro looks like he snuck onto earth, get his ass outta here

user20 grammy-award winner, vogue cover model, new york university graduate and Some Fucking Guy

user21 not y'all coming to her defense like the mighty morphin power rangers 💀💀 he's literally a world class athete and she writes pop music

user20 17.172.224.47

user21 IS THAT MY IP ADDRESS??

user20 melinda charleton

user22 IS THAT HIS MOTHER'S NAME!!?1?1!

user20 you want me to do you too???

user22 no we good 😃

user23 ruth bader ginsberg did not die for this

user24 now wtf does this have to do with babe ruth 🤨

user25 WHOOOOO 😧

user24 ... that wasn't right was it

user26 now let's be fr he does NAWT have a chance

user27 have u seen the marble-carved  goddesses these men pull, i fear he does 😔

user28 please no i feel ill

user29 TWO???? OH HELL NAW

user30 two might be pushing it, only one was confirmed

user31 jesus christ

user32 first taylor, now this

user33 yall, all he commented was great album 💀💀 yall are LEAPING to conclusions

user34 what can i say it's an art

user35 i do not see 👁️👄👁️

user36 no like 💀💀 im in your walls

user37 haha max verstappen!! right!!! (theres a sniper at ur location)

user38 omg ur so right 🤩 it is about him (i have a bomb strapped to my chest)

user39 i dont mean to sound stupid, idk who that man is, if i saw him on the streets i wouldnt know a thing 🥱

user40 this is so random too like what 😭

user41 the power of kindness won't work here, i have to throw him off a building

user42 i used to be a max verslsjjwwo lover 🤩 now im just a max verslsjjwwo hater 😔

user43 NURSE 🫵 SHE'S OUT AGAIN

user44 why would u put that into the universe 😧

user45 alright, lets get you to bed grandma

user46 mari stop being delusion and go touch grass 🧍🏻‍♀️

user47 ENOUGHHHH

user48 ain't no way in hell 😭

user49 ik ur feet hurt from all this jumping to conclusions babe

user50 lets leave the parkour to the athletes 😃

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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 54,789 others

ynusername italy thanks for letting me be inside you (; it was such a lovely show, expect me back asap!!!!

15,267 comments

user51 IT WAS SO GOOD I THNK I BLACKED OUT THE WHOLE TIME THO

user52 oh!

user51 oh so now this isn't a safe space

user53 LANDO AND MAX IN TGE LIKES??? NO NO NO NO

user54 ABORT ABORT ABORT

user55 y'all are doing too much 🙄 she's one of the top artists in the world, i think it's safe to say they might like her music

user56 the second picture 🧎🏻‍♀️do you need a stool cause i can kneel and be really quiet

user57 y/n fans be normal challenge (impossible!!!) (never done before)

user56 WOMP WOMP

maxverstappen1 wonderful show! 🙏🏼 you are so talented

ynusername ty max (: im glad you could come see me

user57 ain't NO WAYYYYYY

user59 THIS IS SIXKENJNG IM GONNA PUKE

sabrinacarpenter my gf looking sexy 🫦🫦🫦

ynusername only for u bbg 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

user60 BOOOO 🗣️ GET A ROOM

user61 do y'all need a third!!!!

user62 mamma mia pizza pasta mozzerella moment

user63 i just put u on a watchlist

user62 🧍🏻‍♀️

landonorris RAHHHHHH 🦅🫵🗣️‼️

ynusername RAHHH RAHHH RAHHH RISE POWER POWER 💪🏻‼️

user63 what the fuck

user64 OH GOD WHAT IF SHES DATING HIM????

ynusername brother eughhhh

landonorris WHAT THE FUCK????

user65 SINCE WHEN IS SHE FRIENDS WITH F1 DRIVERS HOW MANY CHAPTWRS DID I MISS

user66 apparently we all went into a universal coma while she was out galavanting cause idk how else this could've happened

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maxverstappen1 posted to his story!

(caption: beautiful show)

22,456 replies

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user67 someone save my girl bro, she don't know any better 😭

user68 it's like a little kid trying to touch the hot stove, LIKE STOP THAT!! DON'T DO THAT

user69 am i the only one who thinks they'd be cute together....

user70 YES!?!?

user71 there is literally no fucking way he bagged her

user72 losing y/n to european f1 driver would be the biggest american tragedy since 2001

user73 i had to read this shit twice, op what r u waffling abt 🫵😧

user74 can't even be nonchalant about this one bro, i'm chalanting hard asf

user75 we do not care

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liked by redbullracing, f1, and 78,567 others

tagged maxverstappen1

ynusername first time in monaco, safe to say i enjoyed myself! so happy to see you shine this time my love<3

25,788 comments

user76 oh. my. fucking. god

user77 THEYRE FUCKING DATING OH MYFODNSJ

user78 THAT SHOULD BE MEEEE HOLDING YOUR HAND THAT SHOULD BE MEEE MAKING YOU LAUGHHH 🎤

user79 i'm in mourning

sabrinacarpenter CHEATER 🫵

ynusername BABY IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, IT WAS JUST ONE TIME 😣😣😣 IT WAS A MISTAKE

maxverstappen1 we've been dating for 2 years??

sabrinacarpenter SHUT UP FAST & FURIOUS NO ONE ASKED YOU

user80 i'm sorry 😃 two Y EARS

user81 i feel like i just got dumped. y/n don't do this, the kids need you 😔

maxverstappen1 i got p1 for you, i love you 🫶🏼

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hope you all enjoyed! please let me know your thoughts and feel free to leave a request for me to write something for your fav <3

[norrizzandpia]

The Video (Part 2) (LN4)

Summary: They’ve taken leaked videos to a whole new level.

Warnings: its a sex tape so that, sexual conversations, language, explicit

Note: when i was trying to come up with a part 2 for the video i literally couldnt think of anything until i was half asleep and this came to me and i was like THATS IT 🤓☝🏻(part 1 is here)

TWITTER

mclarensgirly woke up today and saw “lando norris y/n y/l/n sex tape” trending and thought it was a joke so i clicked on it and GOOD GOD IT WAS NOT A JOKE

- ln4andop81 my jaw DROPPED when it surfaced

- mclarenfan22 anybody watch it??

- mclarensgirly yeah ofc who do you think i am

- ln4andop81 YES.

- f1fan2 you bet your ass i grabbed my popcorn and STUDIED that vid

- mclarensgirly i had an idea lando was dirty but BROOOOOOO

- ln4andop81 its even hotter that the camera isnt propped up somewhere its literally being filmed by lando as he goes in from the back

- f1fan2 I LITERALLY STILL CANT WRAP MY HEAD AROUND IT LIKE HIS VOICE WAS SO CLOSE TO THE MICROPHONE AND YOU COULD HEAR ALL HIS MOANS AND THE SHIT HE WAS SAYING TO HER

- mclarenfan22 “you like being fucked from behind baby?” I CEASED TO EXIST.

- ln4andop81 WHEN HE WENT FASTER AND SAID “fuck baby so tight” 😩😩😩

- f1fan2 the way he gripped her hips so he could go harder>>>>

- mclarenfan22 this video has literally altered my brain chemistry.

—

y/nnn yeah ofc we have sex… look at him.

Comments:

danielricciardo HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

- landonorris shut tf up

- y/nnn let him laugh its fine im getting good dick

- danielricciardo im no longer laughing.

mclarenfan22 SHES SO REAL OMFG

Landos-lover1 slut behavior

- y/nnn stalker behavior babes, youre not his lover, i am 💋

- mclarensgirly oh how i wish to be as unbothered as her

- f1fan2 SHUT. DOWN.

landonorris this was not the planned statement we talked abt 🥲

- y/nnn planned statement my ass we were having good sex let them wish they were us

- ln4andop81 she understands the lando girlies to a level that makes me believe she once was one of us too

- y/nnn OH HELL YEAH I WAS DONT GET IT TWISTED HE WAS MY CELEB CRUSH FOR YEARS BEFORE WE STARTED DATING

- ln4andop81 BRUHHHHHH YOU MANIFESTED IT I ENVY YOU

- y/nnn THANK YOU THANK YOU I DID MY BEST

- ln4andop81 YEAH AND NOW YOURE HAVING GREAT SEX AND RUBBING IT IN EVERYONES FACES

- y/nnn THAT TRULY WAS THE GOAL.

- landonorris what just happened

—

landonorris apparently the statement never mattered anyway so basically i love my girlfriend and that video was supposed to be kept between us but honestly now all yall bitches know im good in bed SO THE NICKNAME NORIZZ BETTER BE PUT. DOWN.

Comments:

carlossainz norizz will never die.

- danielricciardo norizz lives on.

- oscarpiastri norizz forevermore.

- landonorris i hate you

- y/nnn its ok baby they didnt see the tape so they dont understand

- landonorris well now they need to watch it to understand im sick AND TIRED of this

- oscarpiastri ARE YOU STUPID DID YOU JUST ASK ME TO WATCH YOUR SEX TAPE

- danielricciardo lando there is a target on your back.

- carlossainz im gonna pretend like i dont even know who you are

- y/nnn what an overwhelming no!

- landonorris 😒😒

oscarandlando4ever norizz the nickname was forgotten the first time around when the grinding vid surfaced

- f1fan2 yeah they went in for the overkill this time

mclarenfan34 yeah we def KNOW youre good in bed now dw

- mclarenfan22 “do you like it when i make your eyes roll back my love?” PROVED THAT.

- mclarensgirly “ill never get over the feeling of you fuck baby” 🤭🤭🤭

- f1fan2 *she moans his name* “yes y/n say my name baby let everyone know who makes you feel this good” I HAD TO TAKE A BREATHER

- mclarensgirly “good girl” and “youre taking me so well” HAD ME DRY HEAVING.

- ln4andop81 no but the best part of the entire vid was when she came and he moaned “yes baby ill never get tired of the feeling of you cumming around my dick like a good girl”

- y/nnn im a lucky girl ‼️

—

TWITTER

mclarensgirly one month since the sex tape leaked and we FINALLY get the info from lando on HOW it got leaked

- mclarensgirly in an interview with lissie he says, “it was actually my fault. There’s a, uh, folder, if you will, on my laptop that has videos and pictures of that category which we have accumulated in the years we’ve been together. Well, anyway, i was emailing with a fan about her transaction with quadrant merch. It’s a long story but her order had been so screwed up that i had to step in and see it out myself, but, nonetheless, i was trying to attach her old receipt and new receipt to the email, but, because it was 2 AM and I was exhausted, I didn’t realize I went into me and y/n’s folder, didn’t realize I clicked and attached that video. By the time I realized what I had done, the email had already been sent. The fan never emailed me back to get her merchandise, but the next morning we [y/n and him] woke up to it being plastered on all platforms.”

- mclarensgirly he later goes on to say, “No, we weren’t that mad. I mean, yes, we were mad the fan had leaked it, but we weren’t upset it was out there. You can see us make jokes about it on our social medias. We’ve made sex jokes before and we had that other video leak a few months back, so it isn’t a shocker or touchy subject with our fans that we have sex. Yeah, the video was a lot and I’m sure made people uncomfortable, I’m sorry for that, but, at the end of the day, it’s a natural, healthy part of a relationship and we didn’t feel the need to try and cover it up.”

- ln4andop81 YOURE FORGETTING MY FAVORITE QUOTE FROM THE ENTIRE INTERVIEW WHEN HE SAYS “we have great sex! We have a great sex life! And if people know that I’m more than capable of satisfying my girlfriend in bed, then so fucking be it. Neither of us are complaining.”

—

TWITTER

landonorris 2 videos leaked, nervous the others will too

- y/nnn put the GODDAMN folder on a flashdrive and give it to me PLZ. i will keep it safe

- landonorris only way ill do that is if you recreate both leaked vids with me

- y/nnn deal.

[zweables]

.

[libingan]

period sex with ghost???? sign me tf up!!!! it’s been such a long time since i last wrote any fanfiction, so forgive me if it’s dogshit im just rusty

a loud groan escapes you as you doubled over, another wave of pain rolling through your lower abdomen. pressing a hand against your stomach, you feel the familiar dull ache that had become a monthly companion.

they weren’t that bad earlier in the day, but by the afternoon, that faint discomfort had transformed into sharp, persistent stabs that made it difficult to concentrate on literally anything else.

you’ve tried pain killers, heating pads, every distraction you could think of, but even the slightest of movements exacerbated the cramps, sending jolts of pain through your body.

simon, your loving boyfriend, had been trying his goddamned hardest to help you through this. eventually, after one particularly bad outburst from you — which he won’t hold against you, you were in pain — he opted to stay still, letting you cuddle up against him as you groaned out in pain.

unbeknownst to you, simon had been on his phone, searching up more ways he could ease your suffering. he scrolls through each website, seeing the same results over and over and over again.

that is, until, he sees the words ‘an orgasm can alleviate menstrual cramps’ on his screen. for a moment, simon just… stares at his phone. he’s not against the idea, but considering your earlier outburst, he’s unsure of how he’s going to bring it up.

in the end, he decides with a simple ‘fuck it’ and speaks, “says here orgasms can help relieve your cramps,”

you blink up at him in surprise, knowing the implications behind your lover’s words. “does it?”

“yeah, it does.” he flips the phone over to show you his screen, letting you read the article yourself.

something about endorphins… “feel good” chemicals… natural pain relief…

“…we’ll make a mess.” you say.

“i’ll get a towel.” simon replies.

“don’t you think this is… well, gross? i mean, it’s blood…”

“is that a serious question?” simon asks with an incredulous expression, raising a brow at you.

upon seeing your embarrassed expression, simon lets out a sigh, placing his phone done on the nightstand. “listen, love, if you don’t want to, and you think this is gross, we don’t have to do it. all im saying is that im more than willing to help you out.”

you let out a sigh of your own, biting the inside of your cheek as you mull over simon’s suggestion. your cramps hurt like hell, and if orgasms really do help…

“i’ll try anything once, i guess…” you mumble, and simon wordlessly gets off the bed to grab two towels from the closet.

simon spreads both towels on the bed, on top of each other, beckoning you to lay on it. “took two, just in case one isn’t enough.” he explains, crawling over to you.

“are you sure this is okay with you, si?” you ask, reaching up to gently cup his cheek. simon instinctively leans into the palm of your hand, pressing a kiss to your wrist. “should be askin’ you that, lovie. this okay with you?”

“if it helps get rid of these damn cramps, fuck yes.”

that’s all it takes for simon to lean in, one hand slipping behind your nape to pull you into a deep kiss. his free hand slides downwards, tugging at the hem of your shirt, eager to slip it off. the two of you pull away from each other to make quick work of discarding your clothing and throwing them to the floor… or wherever they end up landing.

simon takes a moment to appreciate your body, eyes raking up and down, the tip of his tongue darting out to lick his lips. he gently grabs onto your thighs, pulling them apart to leave more space for him to settle in between. “gonna take these off, okay?” he says, hands moving to toy with the waistband of your panties.

“okay, okay, take them off,” you mutter, legs instinctively shutting the moment you’re left bare. simon clicks his tongue at that, pushing your thighs apart once more. “you hidin’ this pretty pussy from me?”

he gazes down at your cunt, feeling a rush of heat flow through his veins and straight to his cock. simon lets out a low groan, parting your lips apart to expose your sensitive bud.

simon wastes no time and dives right into it, licking a flat stripe on your clit, flicking his tongue against the sensitive bundle of nerves. he revels in the way your legs twitch, the breathy whines that leave your lips.

“simon… simon, oh…” you moan, hands tangling in his blonde hair, holding his head down. this only encourages simon, wrapping his lips around your clit, lightly sucking on it.

he keeps his eyes focused on you the entire time, watching the way your chest heaves and how your back arches into a perfect bow. the sight of you completely lost in the pleasure has his cock throbbing and he can’t resist grinding against the sheets with a few grunts.

simon knows you’re close with the way your legs start clamping down his head and how your hands tighten around his hair. he places a quick kiss to your clit before pulling away, eyes gleaming with his desire and need for you.

a needy, high-pitched whine escapes your lips, but simon softly shushes you, promising a world of pleasure if you behaved. “be patient, love, gonna give you what you want in a bit.”

he reaches out to the nightstand, opening a drawer to take out a condom. simon quickly rips the wrapper with his teeth, hastily rolling the rubber around his cock.

with a careful hand, he brings his hand down to grab the string of your tampon, slowly pulling it out of you.

“jesus…” you muttered, face scrunched up in disgust as simon grabs a few pulls of tissue paper, wrapping it around the tampon and tossing it somewhere he can’t really be bothered to care about.

“simon! if that stains our carpet, i swear to god…”

“i’ll clean it up later, damn it…” simon grumbles, one hand grasping his cock as he positions himself against your entrance. “you ready?”

you sigh, wrapping your legs around simon’s waist. he takes that as a sign to keep going, slowly pushing his dick into you.

“jesus, fuck…” he curses, hissing as your warm walls envelop his cock so deliciously. “so fuckin’ tight…” simon murmurs, leaning towards you, lips finding their way to your neck.

once he bottoms out, simon takes a moment to enjoy the feel of you around him. “feels so good ‘round me, love,” he whispers, nibbling gently on the sensitive skin on your neck.

“move, si,” you nudged him, and simon wordlessly obeys.

he starts off with slow, shallow thrusts, letting you get used to his size before gradually picking up the pace.

simon glances down, admiring the red ring around the base of his dick, the blood staining your labia and a bit on the inside of your thighs. a low groan escapes him at the sight, hands holding onto your hips as he readjusts himself, fucking deeper into your cunt.

“makin’ a bloody mess on my cock, love… literally…” he teasingly whispers. you had half the mind to smack him for making such a joke, but with the way his cock fills up your pussy so snugly, you can’t find it in yourself to do so.

“s-si! feels—feels s’good!” you mewled, head thrown back in pleasure, your hands twisting around the sheets below. sex with simon is always good, but right now? you feel like a virgin being touched for the very first time.

simon reaches down to draw circles on your clit with his thumb, groaning as your gummy walls clench down on his cock. “y-yeah? you gonna come for me, love?”

“yes, yes, yes, please-!” you moan out, eyes squeezed shut. the additional stimulation on your already sensitive nub brings you closer to edge, and you’re damn sure simon can tell, especially with how your sounds seemed to have increased in volume.

“come, let go for me,” simon pants, his own orgasm fast approaching. “come on, love, come on,” he coos, his hips stuttering as he circles his thumb faster.

that’s all it takes for you to tip over the edge, eyes rolling into the back of your head, mouth hanging open as a loud moan erupts from your throat. your walls clamp down so tightly on simon’s cock, drawing his release out of him.

simon gently takes his hand away from your clit before laying on top of you, crushing you with his weight.

“how do you feel? still cramping?” he asks, burying his face into the crook of your neck.

“no,” you reply, lifting a hand to gently scratch simon’s back, “thank you,”

no words are exchanged after that. just you and simon basking in the afterglow. that is, until, you remember the fact that you’re still on your period.

“you’re cleaning everything up, simon. this was your idea.”

simon pulls away, exhaling a heavy sigh. “yes, ma’am,”

[pjackk]

Extremley Urgent Action Needed

Hi everybody i hate to to it but im in a realy bad spot and ive been pretty much bummed out really badly lately and lots of people on here are actually being really bad to me constantly and telling me lots of mean shit all the time and im pretty much in a super bad spot because im mentally fucked up badly right now and the theres some some holidays and shit comign up and i dont give a fuck about heaven or hell cuz my life is fucked anyways and going to shit so i dont know how it could really get worst but i pretty much want to treat myself and practice self care by making the right choices for me and getting shit that i really want as a gift to myself since nobody else will ever get me free shit since im a societal freak and a piece of shit apparently and something i really want is a Cast Iron Money Man

So the great part about the guinness Stout moneyman is that on top of making me enjoy my life for once in my fcking life if i had him it would teach me how to save my coins and put them in a safe place so they dotn keep falling down the drain because whenever im counting my pennies and other brown or shiny colored coins its always in the sink cuz thats the only place not filled to the brim with stupid shit i keep finding LOL i keep finding shit on the ground and in the trash and its often interesting as fuck shit like a stick that would be realy goood for turning into a weapon if needs to be if i was attacked from every angel a great way to fight them and a perfect advantage to have is to have the range advantage so if the thieves and other bandits were coming at me with knives and shit i would be able to bash them with my stick and maybe break there bodys while im at it and i could legaly say i killed them to defend my self and all my other shit so anyways theres tons of shit everywhere and since i just throw away my dishes when im done with them because they are way to dirty and beyond even the level to get it cleaned no more cuz shit is dried on there and wont come off if i make it wet i just gie up so that means theres never shit in my sink exept for the coins when im counting them but the big problem is i dont have a money man made out of cast iron to keep my coins safe so they fall down the drain and when i try to pop them up by dumping oil in the drain and using gargage disposal switch it just crunches them up and shoots fragments into my glasses and always breaks my glasses so i always have to get new glasses since they are always breakign whenever i lose my coins but the big problem is since i dont have my coins no more since they all get all torn up and shit its super hard to afford new glasses or food at all even though i dont technicaly have to eat its always fun to eat yummy shit so please consider to send me money to help muy shit as fuck mental get better and invest in my prosperity i promise u it will trickle down to u and u will benefit from my well being im actually working on a new CD right now with dope as fuck music but its realy really hard to be creative when i dont want to get out of bed because im always hung tf over from drinking a shit load of top notch gin a the pub all night and feeling super depresed basicaly my Guinenss beer Shaped money man would be a perfect way to solve my problems let me know if u want to help by clicking the beer above and giving me money to spend on my cast iron money man

[spheixrie]

HOW THEY WOULD MAKE YOUR KIDS GO TO BED (pt. 1?)

So like you're always the one to take the kids to bed right? Since your husband always comes home late since he's busy with hero work. So now you go out with the girls for a girls night, you leave your husband and your kid/s at home and tell your husband to get the kids to sleep by 8:30 (since sleep is important HAHXHAHAHAHAH) anyways you leave your child in the hands of your husband, not knowing what kind of shit they been through while you were gone..

Ft: Midoriya, Bakugo, Todoroki, Kirishima, Kaminari, Sero

IZUKU MIDORIYA

He tries to get the kid to bed and fails miserably. He couldnt handle that little pouty face and those big puppy eyes.

"Mommy said to go to bed by 8:30 didn't she? Well look at the time honey it's 8:30" Izuku says as he tries to calm your kid down.

"NO! I DONT WANNA! I DONT WANNA!" Your kid shouts back as a reply and sticks out their tongue at your husband. "I just wanna stay up and watch All Might!"

Izuku sighs and tries again "Come on baby.. Mommy's gonna be mad at me if you dont sleep right now, we can watch tomorrow yeah?"

Cue the puppy dog eyes. "Please?" Kid bats their eyelashes at your man and he completely loses it.

You come home at around 11:47 and you find your husband and your kid on the couch dressed up in All Might onesies as an All Might video played on the screen.

"Couldn't get them to sleep?" You chuckle as you take off your coat.

"I am so sorry honey" Izuku sighs with a defeated tone "They gave me a hard time"

You just laugh softly and walk over to them, planting a kiss on your husband's cheek "Now you know what I go through while you're at work" you sit down beside them as your child offers you a bowl of popcorn. "Want some, Mommy?" they say as they beam at you. You laugh and ruffle their hair "Dont think that you arent in trouble for staying late, honey"

"But mommm, this is the only time i get to spend time with dad, just us two" They plead as they give a pouty face. You sigh and smile, "I guess you're right" you look at Izuku as he gives you a big thumbs up. You shrug "I guess I can let this slide" You smile. "YAYYYY!!" your child exclaims as you pull you child and husband for a hug. "Thanks honey" Izuku whispers at you, giving you a kiss on the lips.

"Daddd" you kid averts their eyes. "EWWWW!!" he shouts as you and Izuku laughs.

KATSUKI BAKUGOU

Man is having a hard time getting this kid to bed. Since this dude has a sleep schedule of a grandpa, bro's shouting at his kid to get tf to sleep or else he's gonna blow their face up. Ofcourse the kid counters his attacks with the same stubborn attitude until you come home and find them in the kid's bedroom.

"GO TO SLEEP YOU BRAT!" Katsuki shouts. "HELL NO OLD MAN! I AINT GONNA LISTEN TO YOU AND YOUR STUPID SLEEP SCHEDULE!" Your kid fights back.

"MOM LETS ME STAY LATER THAN THIS TIME!"

"WELL I AINT YOUR MOM SO SUCK IT AND GET YOUR ASS TO SLEEP!"

"NO! YOU SUCK IT AND SWALLOW! IM NOT LISTENING TO YOU!"

"YOU DARE TALK BACK TO ME?"

"YEAH THAT'S HOW A CONVERSATION WORKS!"

"WHY YOU LITTLE PIECE OF-"

And they go on and on for hours until the neighbors call you about the noise and you have no choice to go home. You mutter angrily as you drive home. You throw your shoes on the shoe rack and drop your coat off on the couch, marching angrily towards the kid's room. When you opened the door you were not expecting to see them on the bed asleep, your kid on Katsuki's chest as he held an arm around them. On the floor was a pile of board games and book. You sigh and smile softly at the sight, walking towards the edge of the bed Katsuki stirs in his sleep, he blinks his eyes and his gaze fixes upon you.

"Oh, hey baby" He sits up, careful not to wake up your kid. "You're home early"

"I sure am" You chuckle as you kneel down and pick up the boxes of games and books off the floor. "The neighbors told them they heard a commotion, inside our home" You look up at him with tired eyes.

Katsuki sits up and sets your kid on the bed "Sorry 'bout that, baby.. Kid wasn't listening to a word I said.." He says scratching his neck. "I shoulda tried a more different approach than yelling eh?"

"It's fine, babe" You stand up and kiss your husband's cheek. You set the games and books on the nightstand and lean into his ear "But you owe me for ruining my night out"

Katsuki takes your hand and looks you in the eye "I think I sure do" He smirks.

SHOTO TODOROKI

He does try to get the kid to sleep, but the kid is too stubborn. He doesn't want to be like his dad towards his kid, so he does the only logical thing that comes into his mind. He just lets them do what ever.

"You need to sleep now, your mom told me that you need to sleep by this time" Shoto says to his kid who he has already tucked comfortably in bed.

His kid just pouts "But daddd, I wanna stay up late. Mommy rarely makes me stay up late! Plus, it's just us" your child kicks off their blanket and scooches closer to your husband. "I wanna spend time with you daddy! You're always busy at work, I wanna spend time with you" You kid smiles happily and Shoto just crumbles.

"Alright... but don't tell your mom"

"YES!"

You come home to them in the living room playong tea house with a cartoon playing on the tv. Stuffed toys (all having bows and other assorted accessories) were seated all around them. Shoto was dressed up in one of your dresses with his hair done. He was holding up a tea cup while your child was pouring non existent tea into it. You smile at the sight

"What happened to "asleep by 8:30?" " You chuckle as you walked towards them.

Shoto just shrugged before drinking his non existent tea and holds his tea cup for his child to refill it, "I couldn't say no to that face, plus it's non everyday I get to spend time with them like this, I wanna give them the childhood they deserve. I dont want them growing up like me" He says as he looks at you apologetically. "Sorry"

You laugh softly as you sit beside him, giving him a kiss on the cheek "Dont apologize honey, Im glad you're doing this for our baby. You can stay up for as long as you like, just dont blame me if you're both cranky in the morning"

"YAYYYYY!" you child exclaims as they jump up and down happily

Shoto chuckles and gives you a soft kiss "Thank you, honey"

EIJIROU KIRISHIMA

He tries to be the bad cop at first, getting your kid to bed and all, but then your kid starts to throw a tantrum saying they dont want to sleep yet. Your husband keeps on insisting that they have to listen and sleep, but then you kid pulls put the fucking puppy eyes on your husband and he completely loses.

"Come on, pebble! Didn't mommy say that bed time is 8:30? Look at the time! It's time to sleep!" Eijirou says enthusiastically, trying to get your toddler to sleep.

Instead they stick out their tongue and throw a tantrum. "No! I dont wanna! I dont wanna!"

"Hey dont shout at me! I already gave you ice cream after dinner even though im not supposed to! You better listen or I am not holding back" Eijirou says trying to make your kid go to sleep.

"No!" your kid pouts. "I do not want to sleep yet!" They look at Eijirou with puppy eyes. "Please, please, pleaseeee, daddy?" cue the eyelash batting

Eijirou fucking Kirishima on the other hand, loses it, COMPLETELY.

You unlock the front door and hear noise coming from the kid's bedroom. You walk towards it and open the door. Your kid and husband was sound asleep pn the bed... or so they thought they had you fooled. Scattered on the floor were action figures and dolls, and on Eijirou's head was a little bow headband. They pretended to snore noisily and you saw your kid peeking to see if you left, then went back to snoring.

You sniffle a laughter as you walk towards them and drape a blanket on top of them.

"Oh wow I guess they did a good job of going to bed eh?" You say loudly and start walking to the door. "Well too bad, they wont get to have those nuggets and fries I brought" You say loudly.

"FRIES?!" Both of them jumps out of bed and looks at you expectantly. You raise a brow and puts your hands to your hips.

"You really think im that dumb to fall for your so called trick?" You ask with a disappointed look on your face.

Eijirou laughs and rubs the back of his neck "Sorry baby... It was hard saying no to that face"

You roll your eyes and laughs "Now you know what i go through"

Eijirou laughs too "Yeah.. Do we still get to eat those nuggets though?" He asks hopefully.

"Oh the nuggets? Yeah that was a trick" You smirk as dread washes over their faces "Yeah it was a trick, now go to sleep, both of you, or im not cooking nuggets for breakfast"

DENKI KAMINARI

My man Denki here is actually a pretty chill dad, and his kids would do anything he says... if he does something for them first. He actually does a pretty decent job in getting them to sleep, sure he had a couple pf teensy weensy condition but atleast he got them to sleep... at maybe 11:30.

"Hey theree, so like, I know it's not cool to sleep at this hour but like, Im kinda scared of your mommy so if you kids love your daddy, please go to sleep I'm begging you" He says as you toddler is already tucked in bed.

Your kid just shrugs and says "Okay"

Denki, bless his ass, is very very confused "Wait really?"

"Yes, dad" Your toddler nods

"Huh, that was.. pretty easy? Uh so, goodnight hon" He says and kisses your kid on the forehead.

Your toddler smirks and pulls up the big fucking puppy eyes "But before I sleep... can i have one eensy weensy favour?"

Denki you prick

You come home to see the lights in the living room out. Okay that's nice, that means Denki actually got the kid to sleep. You walked toward the room and peek through the door, you smile at the sight. There you see Denki and your baby wrapped in blankets as Denki reads your kid, who was already asleep, a bed time story.

You walk in when he finishes reading and closes the book.

"You did a pretty great job eh?" You say as you kiss your husband on the forehead. "Wasnt to hard eh?"

Denki nods tiredly "Yeah you could say that" He smiles softly.

"Thank you baby, im gonna freshen up" With that, you walk outside, leaving Denki to tuck your toddler in for the night. Little did you know that to get your kid to sleep involved 2 tubes of ice cream, 3 rounds of Mario Cart, 5 Mickey Mouse episodes and 1 fairytale story. Yeah Denki was definitely sleeping for a long time.

SERO HANTA

He's also a chill dad, but when his kid says they don't wanna sleep, it's always 20% 'no, go to bed' and 80% 'sure do whatever, go apeshit'. And oh boy do things get tricky.

"Look, chubbs. Mommy said bed time is 8:30. And it's already, 8:30. So come on you need to sleep" Sero says to your child who was watching a cartoon movie.

Instead they stick out their tongue "No! I wanna finish this movie!" they bat their eyelashes and give Sero the puppy eyes "Pleaseee, dad?"

Sero blinks "Uh sure go ahead" He says sitting beside you kid with a lazy grin on his face.

Your kid, confused, just blinks "Uh, wait, really?" they look at him expectantly

Sero just shrugs and takes a handful of popcorn from the bowl "Yeah sure, I aint scared of your mom, plus it's mot everyday we get to do this sooo, go crazy" he grins and takes another handful of popcorn and pops it in his mouth.

6 movies and 1 cry-a-thon later

You open the door and walk into the living room to see Sero watching a movie with your kid laying on his lap, a blanket draped over them.

Sero looks at you and closes the tv. "Hey mi amor, how was you night out?"

You look at your kid and your husband "Did you let them stay up late?"

Sero just shrugs "Yeah, sorry bout' that. But it's not everyday they get to do this with me y'know?" He smiles at you and you just scoff.

"You're lucky I love you" You say.

He sets his kid on the couch and stands up, he walks over to you and kisses you on the cheek "Love ya too babe"

• • •

"How many movies did you watch?"

".... Maybe 5 or 6?.."

• • •

"Okay, you're sleeping in the living room tonight, Sero"

"Aw man"

THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY BABES. IM THINKING OF MAKING A PART TWO WITH THE OTHER BNHA BOYS SO COMMENT IF YOU'D WANT TO SEE MORE. THANK U FOR READING!!



[eve209]

‼️‼️SMUT WARNING CAUSE IM PISSED‼️‼️

FOR SOME BACK STORY: on Roblox I got banned for a day then when I was logging back in it wouldn’t let me do to the 2 step vari so….I’m mad rn tbh and I wanna fuck Roblox

ROBLOX X TOP MALE READER

THIS FANFIC IS JOKE PLS (kinda short)

(Update that account got deleted…)

‼️WARINGS‼️ punishment, spanking, light choking, degrading, little praise here and there, daddy kink (only 2 times though), pet names, mirror fucking, almost gettin caught, sir kink.

_________________________________________

“FUCKING HELL DUDE” I said bashing my head on my keyboard then looking back up at the screen in front of me.

“What are you mad about this time?” My homie,  Kayden on the call said while chucking.

“Ya know how got ban from Roblox yesterday?”

“Mhm”

“well now I’m trying to log in and it says I have to have a 6 digit code that got sent to my email and I didn’t hook a FUCKING EMAIL ON MY ACCOUNT.”

“PFFFFFF HAHAHA, do ya want me to come over and help with it? Maybe I can spend the night or somethin.” Alex said while I heard him shuffling for something, probably his phone.

“But then I have to wait 45 minutes for you to drive here tf am I going to do in the mean time!?” I said while stretching out my arms and pushing my gaming chair back with my feet till it hit my bed while still having my headset on.

“It’s ok dude your gonna live im packing rn so hold tight and jerk off or somethin.” Alex said.

“BRO WTF-“ I said while getting cut off by the end call sound.

“Fucking hell…” I said breathing out but again getting interrupted by a strange noise coming from the pc. Bringing my head back down from looking up at the ceiling while everything started to violently shake around me.

“What the fuck is happening!” I said gripping the arm rests of the chair then closing my eyes and waiting for everything to be over.

….

…….

Suddenly everything stopped. ‘What the fuck..’ I thought opening my eyes slowly while feeling pressure on my lap.

“Hi there! I heard you are having a hard time logging into your Roblox account! May I help you in anyway to satisfy you?” A soft male voice said above me while I was looking my lap seeing tight, outlined thighs with a small bulge in between.

“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!?” I said looking up, following the tanned body that’s connected to the thighs I was checkin out earlier.

“Oh I’m sorry dear! I’m Roblox! I’m sorry I forgot to introduce myself! Your having trouble right? Well I’m here to take that trouble away!” Said Roblox while holding an iPad, still sitting on my lap.

“Y-yeah I am having trouble. My names (M/n) by the way..” I said lightly grabbing his waist so his ass can stop grinding on my dick.

“Yep! I already know that but thank you for reminding me!” He said but then quickly adding onto it while starting to turn around to the PC, “What seems to be the problem sir?”

‘Fuck…’ I thought while still holding on to his waist. The sight of his round, squish-able ass on my covered dick kinda turned me on. ‘I never knew a fucking app could have such a fuckable ass…’

“Um sir, what you do need help with?” Roblox said while slightly turning his body to the side to look at me.

“Oh yeah um I can’t log into my Roblox account because it says I need a six digit code thats sent to my email but it didn’t send me it so I don’t know what to do.” I said scratching the back of my head while looking up at him, still on my lap.

“Oh well are you sure that you checked your inbox?”

“I’m pretty fucking sure…” I said tilting my head back.

“Well then I’m sorry sir but I don’t know how to help you then…you probably turned on two-step verification and didn’t put an email to go with it!” Roblox said, moving his body to face me again while resting his hands on my chest, and looking at me.

With a deep sigh coming from my mouth, I moved my hands to go under his butt and stood up while still holding him and walking to my bed and placing Roblox in the middle of it.

“Um sir! W-what are you d-doing!” Roblox said moving his hands to clutch the pillow, his head was laying on.

“You said you were here to take my trouble away right?” I said, taking off my hoodie I had on.

“Y-Yes! That’s what I’m here for, but what are you doing!” Roblox said with a worried look.

“Well I have some trouble with my dick and I think you would be perfect and you need a punishment for not doing your job right.” I said putting a hand next to Roblox’s face and looking down on him. “How does that sound princess?” I said slipping my hand down to grab his ass.

POV NOW IN 3RD PERSON

“But sir- MHMM!~” Roblox stuttered before (M/n) smashed his lips onto his roughly and slipped his tongue in his mouth.

As (M/n) was taking his sweatpants and boxers off, he took his tongue out of Roblox’s mouth to replace them with two of his own fingers.

“Fuck baby, look at how hard my dick is because of you.” (M/n) said, grabbing his cock and jerking himself off while taking his fingers out of Roblox’s mouth and entering his fingers in his tight hole. After stuffing his fingers in, (M/n) immediately started to thrust his fingers faster and harder making Roblox scream in pleasure.

After a couple of minutes, Roblox’s tight hole was already nice and loose, which once (M/n) realized this, he took his fingers out and stopped jerking his massive cock off. “Fucking hell, do you know how much time and money I put in that stupid fucking account since I was like 10?” (M/n) said, grabbing Roblox’s neck, choking him, and leaning down to slide his tongue around Roblox’ s face cheek.

“P-please sir! I’m s-so sorry I couldn’t help but I-!~ AH!” Roblox said before getting cut off by (M/n) thrusting his cock into Roblox’s pathetic hole, making Roblox cum right then and there.

“S-shit Baby your still so fuckin tight after fingering your hole for 10 minutes, goddamn slut.” (M/n) said til grabbing onto his neck. Roblox couldn’t even get a breather, nor thought in before (M/n) started thrusting fast into Roblox, making their skin slap together.

“AHH~! DADDY PLEASE!~~ it’s to much! Please daddy I just c-came! Wait wait w-wait!” Roblox said tears of overstimulation and pleasure running down his face.

“God princess, just take it.” (M/n) said while smacking Roblox’s ass.

After 20 minutes of thrusting, choking, degrading and praise, (M/n) still hasn’t came deep inside Roblox like he wants! Unlike (M/n), Roblox has came 3 times already, almost passing out. “F-fuck what a good boy you are baby, such a big dick for a tight ass like yours and your still taking it.” (M/n) said smirking as Roblox arched his back.

“Fuck! S-sir! I-it’s to m-much! Ah!~” Roblox said screaming as (M/n)s dick reached the deepest part of him.

*knock knock knock*

….

“Who the fuck….” (M/n) said stopping, but not pulling out of Roblox. Roblox whimpered,  tightening around (M/n)s cock. Breathing heavily, Roblox asked (M/n) “W-why did y-you st-“. “HEY DUDE WTF ARE YOU DOING??” Kayden said still knocking on the door.

“F-fuck um ONE SECOND LET ME GO TAKE A SHOWER!” (M/n) said covering Roblox’s mouth in the process.

“NAH MAN WTF I WAS JOKING ABOUT YOU JERKING OFF YOU FREAK” Kayden said, laughing and fidgeting with the door.

“BRO STFU I HATE U I DIDNT DO THAT” (M/n) said picking up Roblox and walking to his bathroom in his room. Quickly turning the shower on and sitting on the lid of the toilet. (M/n) breathes and slaps Roblox’s butt and throws his head back before looking at Roblox and whispering..

“You think you can be quiet?”

[diorsluv]

casual , part 2

“ ‘cause i’m still hanging around ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

vivianliu

liked by yourusername, adamfantilli, and 66,824 others

vivianliu spending time w my girlfriend while she’s still my girlfriend 🫶

tagged: yourusername

view all comments

yourusername what’s that supposed to mean 😰

→ vivianliu you know exactly what i mean.

→ yourusername NO YOU’RE STILL MY WIFE I PROMISE

→ vivianliu SAY THAT IN FRONT OF THE MAN WHOSE BED YOU SLEEP IN

→ yourusername VIVI PLEASE

→ rutgermcgroarty whats going on 🙉

→ lhughes_06 ARE YOU THE MAN WHOSE BED SHE SLEEPS IN?? rutgermcgroarty

→ rutgermcgroarty no stupid (i wish)

→ yourusername HUH? EXPLAIN URSELF RUT

→ _quinnhughes oh hell no

→ jackhughes wtf

→ edwards.73 oh

username33 YOU’RE SO GORGEOUS

rutgermcgroarty baguette 🥖

→ vivianliu those are french dumbass

→ rutgermcgroarty mamma mia! 🕺

→ yourusername THAT WAS IN GREECE 😭😭

→ rutgermcgroarty goddammit you two never let me win

username7 OKAY GODDESSES???

luca.fantilli i love italy 🇮🇹

→ vivianliu i love taiwan 🇹🇼

→ edwards.73 i love canada 🇨🇦

→ markestapa i love america 🇺🇸

→ rutgermcgroarty i love nebraska

→ adamfantilli stop speaking right now rutgermcgroarty

→ rutgermcgroarty i thought we were naming our native countries????

→ mackie.samo but nebraska isn’t a fucking country?????

_quinnhughes okay i know my sister asked what the caption meant but actually what does the caption mean 😥

→ vivianliu figure it out

→ yourusername no quinny don’t figure it out

→ _quinnhughes just because i’m in vancouver doesn’t mean you can run around doing crazy shit

→ yourusername BUT IM NOT THOUGH??? 😭

→ _quinnhughes i’m going to figure it out and once i do you’ll have no choice but to tell me everything

→ yourusername you’re so nosy wtf

→ jackhughes what about me 😓😓

dylanduke25 why didn’t you take me with you

→ vivianliu because we didn’t want to 🤗

→ dylanduke25 oh 😕

→ adamfantilli LEAVE MY DUDE ALONE

username94 what i’m hearing is rosie’s cheating on vivian with ethan

username45 everyone’s so obvious abt this shit 😭

username21 the dresses are so prettyyy!

username30 best friend goals 🗣️

username28 correct me if i’m wrong but isn’t that the bag ethan posted himself buying on his story a few weeks ago??

→ username76 this sum detective shit 😭😭

trevorzegras i know

→ vivianliu know what?

→ trevorzegras I KNOW.

→ yourusername and how do you know

→ trevorzegras a little birdie told me

→ yourusername a little BITCH*** by the name of rutger mcgroarty?!????

→ trevorzegras snitches get stitches 🤫

→ rutgermcgroarty i plead innocent

→ vivianliu since when are you ever innocent???

username53 trevor knowing before her brothers is insane

jamie.drysdale bring back souvenirs 🙏

→ vivianliu she spent an HOUR at a gift shop today

→ yourusername i’m thorough with my purchases 😈😈

markestapa your girlfriend’s boyfriend is jealous

→ vivianliu my girlfriend doesn’t have a boyfriend 😒

→ mackie.samo THEY’RE DATING

→ vivianliu they’re “casual” 🙄🙄

→ luca.fantilli exactly they’re casually dating

→ vivianliu we all know he doesn’t like labels

edwards.73 pretty

→ vivianliu stfu 🤬🤬

→ edwards.73 was talkin bout the view but ok

→ yourusername the view is very pretty

→ edwards.73 so pretty i couldn’t take my eyes off it

→ dylanduke25 GET A ROOM

username21 ethan flirting every chance he gets 😭

→ vivianliu i’m against it but majority rules ig 😞

username60 the sunset is STUNNING

_alexturcotte what’s your opinion about it

→ vivianliu i’m definitely a neutral supporter but i’m kiiiiiiiiiinda leaning towards NO. NEIN. NAY. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

→ colecaufield agreed

→ edwards.73 yall gotta stop hating on my boy

→ _alexturcotte 🫤

→ vivianliu 😐

→ colecaufield 😑

edwards.73

liked by adamfantilli, mackie.samo, and 94,168 others

edwards.73 shi was fogging up 😵‍💫

view all comments

username6 wait. waiiiiiiiiiiiit.

rutgermcgroarty HOLD TF UP IS THAT HER CAR

→ edwards.73 🚗💨

→ rutgermcgroarty wtf bro i was sitting in there like 15 mins ago

→ edwards.73 you never sit in the back anyways you’re fine

→ markestapa I WAS SITTING IN THE BACK WHAT THE FUCK

→ edwards.73 😱

→ markestapa i’m gonna shower for a week what the hell

username47 IS THAT THE LAKE????

username33 bro really dropped the biggest bomb on us like we wouldn’t notice tf?

luca.fantilli notice how the clock says 4 am. I COULDN’T SLEEP FOR 4 FUCKING HOURS

→ edwards.73 STOP EXAGGERATING it wasn’t even that bad

→ luca.fantilli it wasn’t that bad MY ASS

→ edwards.73 we were quiet 😪

→ luca.fantilli yeah when you two were finally passed out 😒😒

dylanduke25 ethan i have two very important words for you

→ edwards.73 go ahead say it

→ dylanduke25 thin. walls. THIN. FUCKING. WALLS.

→ edwards.73 that’s 5 words duker

→ dylanduke25 fuck you

→ edwards.73 there we go now we’re at 2

→ dylanduke25 😒😒

username57 that is a hughes if i’ve ever seen one

vivianliu 🤬

→ edwards.73 why r u beefing w me 🙄

→ vivianliu is this supposed to be a soft launch

→ edwards.73 you could call it that yeah

→ vivianliu then tf r u launching bc it sure as hell isn’t a relationship last time i checked mr “i don’t do labels”

yourusername nice very nice

→ edwards.73 whats nice?? im gonna need u to specify

→ yourusername the heart it’s nicely drawn 🤗

→ edwards.73 mhmm cuz the windows got foggy af

→ yourusername oh really? doing what?

→ edwards.73 that’s a good question maybe we should test shit out to see what gets the windows so fogged up like that

username26 it’s a whole hughes-a-palooza up in here

username80 sunset 😁😁

lhughes_06 eddy since when did you get a girl??

→ edwards.73 since before u left 🙄

→ lhughes_06 AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME??

→ edwards.73 my girl wanted to keep it a secret so we kept it on the dl 🙏

→ lhughes_06 but everyone else knows.

→ edwards.73 we’ll tell you eventually!

→ lhughes_06 😓

username24 tell me this aint the girl he’s been flirting w for the past three months

→ username5 i think it’s been longer than three months 😭😭

username78 name drop rn

mackie.samo 🥀

→ edwards.73 🥴

→ vivianliu is this the boy verson of code names

→ rutgermcgroarty fuck no

→ adamfantilli we use initials cuz we’re not weird???

→ colecaufield this shit is too obvious

jackhughes 🤨🤨

→ edwards.73 😰😰

→ jackhughes ur a little risky for that one

username66 does jack know or is everyone clueless

username32 are we just gonna ignore the fact that ethan called her his girl in one of the threads??

username87 this shit freaky asf 😭

trevorzegras oh 👀

→ edwards.73 yes

→ _alexturcotte z stop acting like you know more than we do

→ trevorzegras I DO

→ luca.fantilli go ahead keep lying to yourself

adamfantilli 😲

→ edwards.73 🫣

→ vivianliu 🤫

→ colecaufield 🫠

→ rutgermcgroarty 😏

→ markestapa 😫

→ yourusername 🤭

→ jackhughes 😧

→ dylanduke25 🫢

→ trevorzegras 🤪

→ luca.fantilli 😃

→ _alexturcotte 🙃

→ mackie.samo 🤓

→ _quinnhughes all of you are like the definition of brainrot

next chapter notes ) like stated in the description under the au on the main masterlist… EXTREMELY SUGGESTIVE so let this be your warning 😭 yall r freaky bitches tho bc I REMEMBER THAT ONE CHAPTER IN FEATHER 🤨🤨 the influx of notes i had on that chap was insane also this chap’s a short girlie butttttt hell week is incoming so im either gonna have more short chaps or less longer chaps 😓😓

tags: @dancerbailey3 @hughesfein @loveforaugust

[sakuralovespossums]

okok so im not the person that asked if u take requests BUT may i pretty pls request hcs for master shake x someone who's like.. the opposite of him??? could be gn but preferably fem 😭 my idea is like.. reader is soft spoken, actually cares about meatwad, pretty darn feminine..... yk u get the gist. ty vro currently under hurricane watch 😛

Human Master Shake x Fem Reader who’s his total opposite!

General HCs

When Shake went around bragging about his new girlfriend, everyone just thought he was lying like usual and ignored him. That is until they actually met you and HOLLY HELL how tf did Shake of all people manage to pull a sweetie like you?!

You’re kind, soft spoken, bubbly and always dressed in pastel colored feminine clothing and glittery makeup. You always know just what to say and easily make friends with anybody you meet

Then there’s Shake…who’s…….Shake

He acts all surprised and offended to see people act shocked when finding out you two are together

“Of course we’re together!! You think I wouldn’t be able to hit this sweet piece of cake?”

*Smacks your ass, causing you to jump and glare at him*

Deep down tho, he’s REALLY kinda insecure about your relationship and is worried your only dating him cuz you want something from him and will ditch him at any moment

It doesn’t help that he has a shitty track record with women Svetlana and Freda

But you get that and are pretty patient. So you take your time with him and try to get him to slowly open up and be more vulnerable around you when you guys are alone. Wether that’d be cooking together, running errands, cuddling on the bed, and other mundane stuff

Shake acts annoyed and bored by all this at first, but over time begins to secretly enjoy it and feels more comfortable being with you

Like he’s shocked he doesn’t just like you for your sweet tits and ass!! He now actively seeks you out all the time cuz you’re the only person who makes him feel……..relaxed? Content? He doesn’t get it but he also can’t get enough of it!

Because of this, Shake grows more possessive/jealous. He will glare at anybody who looks at you and will snatch you away when your talking too long to other people

Doesn’t care who they are, he will let them known that you. are. HIS!!!!!

He feels justified in his possessiveness tho with how naive and too trusting you can be towards other people, making you easy prey for creeps who wanna take advantage of your kindness and good looks I kinda modeled your personality after Girlfriend from Friday Night Funkin

Despite being a bit of an airhead, there are random moments where you just say the most out of nowhere intelligent stuff ever that leaves everyone (especially Frylock) stumped

Despite liking you, Shake is still an asshole and can say/do some pretty dick-ish things to you sometimes. You quickly beat his ass reprimand him for it. You’re patient but not a pushover!!!

Shake groans as you drag him along on your usual shopping sprees, carrying home bags of new clothes and makeup from Forever 21, Victoria’s Secret, and Sephora. Meanwhile he’s blushing so hard cuz HOLY SHIT YOUR HOLDING HIS HAND!!!!!!

Peeks under your short skirt whenever he can

You know that 13-in-one shampoo bottle meme? That’s you and Shake

Your aesthetic is like NewJeans, Marina,pink core y2k (you) clashed with ICP, rap rock, horror core (Shake) I don’t know any other bands besides ICP I’m so sorry!

He smells (slightly) less after you forced him to start using hygiene products

He ALWAYS has you on his lap. Wether it’s the bed, couch, Carl’s pool, doesn’t matter

You love cuddling on his lap when he’s watching TV on the sofa, kissing all over his neck and face as he grows redder and redder

Other times he’ll get you back by suddenly ducking down and straight up tongue wrestle you with a sick smirk. His large frame not letting you go anywhere

Sure, you’ll often tease and fluster him. But he’ll also show you your place and leave you a mess too ;)

One time, he took you to an ICP concert and you were both decked out in the whole goth rocker outfit like in the Juggalo episode. God, he couldn’t believe how sexy you looked going from pretty pink to hardcore goth!

Shake cooks for you often after you compliment his meals. It fills him with a type of pride he doesn’t feel from telling others his usual made up stories

You like to hug him from behind as he stirs a pot on the stove, wearing the cute pink apron you insisted he wear he’s such a housewife

Shake still acts bored and annoyed when you try to be soft with him, but you get that that’s just how he is and go along with it while teasing him

He just grumbles into your chest. When Meatwad mentions how soft he gets around you, Shake just chases him with a bat

Shake is noticeably more mellow when you’re around. But that’s only when you around. Once you leave, he goes right back to being an ass to his roommates and neighbor. Please have him move out and live with you already!!!

Relationship with other characters

You and Meatwad instantly get along!

You guys always play together in his room with his dolls. You even gave him some of your old ones, which he loved so much!! Meanwhile Shake glares from the corner

He always goes to you for questions when Frylock is too busy only to be scared off by Shake, much to your frustration

You even exchanged phone numbers so that he can call/text you whenever he needs someone to talk to Shake has deleted his number off your phone numerous times and stopped when you confronted him about it. Now he just breaks Meatwad’s phone

Whenever Shake bullies Meatwad, he threatens him that he’ll tell him on you which instantly makes him panic

Frylock was skeptical when first meeting you. Did Shake pay you to act like his girlfriend? No, not even money could make someone pretend to like Shake. Did he brainwash you with one of his devices?

Regardless, he soon came to appreciate your company and is just glad there’s finally another sensible adult around here besides him!

He’s also appreciative of you for making his life less stressful by keeping Shake in check and being a friend/guardian figure to Meatwad

You like checking out whatever new invention he’s working on and even test some out (as super dangerous as that is)

Sometimes you both stand by the front porch and make chit chat while watching Shake and Meatwad annoy Carl

Oh yeah, Carl……

This greasy ass man is always hitting on you, no matter how many times you tell him you have 0 interest and are already taken

After a while, you become…….not friends but…..acquaintances is the right word. He still hits on you bcuz it’s Carl

“So I just got my pool decked out and it’s uhh….pretty hot out. Was wonderin if…maybe you know….you wanna stop by for a swim in your uhh….favorite bikini. Maybe like the smallest pair ya got………really shows off your boobs and—

*Gets blown up. You turn around to see Shake holding a bazooka*

NSFW stuff

Listen, listen!! I know we all like to imagine Shake as a pathetic attention whore sub!! BUT I also like to imagine him as a selfish dom with a size kink and fat dick that he doesn’t know how to use lmao

You’re just so smol and soft, he can’t help it!!!

He can’t get over how your strawberry scent always lingers on his skin, your soft voice, the way your back arches……..aw shit, did he bust already?

Gets a boner just from smelling your perfume scent

You’re both whiny brats crying for attention. You for his cuddles and dick. Him for your praises

Like I said in my last Shake x Reader fic, he burned all your toys!!! You didn’t talk to him for a week after that, which left him SO upset!!

Frylock: notices your bite marks “Oh my god, y/n!! Did a wolf attack you?!”

You: “Hmm? Oh, that’s just Shake!”

Fun Fact: Shake’s jizz tastes like pistachio milkshake

[lilspacewolfie]

How do you think Copia would approach a quiet, relaxing evening when you’ve both been stressed and need some distractionless quality time? ♡

Thank you Ibi! I think we’re all in need of some tlc right now! This can be read as Papa Copia or Cardinal 🖤

Content: ??? words (idk im so tired lmao), gn!reader, soft copia, pastina!, reader and copia are as exhausted as I am right now lmao, a lot of softness it’s killing me, tired idiots in love, bullet point format.

Please note my Copia is written as unrelated to the other Papas, Sister or Nihil.

So you’re both exhausted and stressed tf out. Ministry life has been busy as hell.

Desperate times call for pastina!

You get back to Copia’s apartment and start on it right away, using what spoons you can spare.

When Copia finally makes it back not too long after, looking disbelieved and about ready to collapse, he brightens a bit at the smell of your home cooking.

Pastina is his favourite, and while you might not make it exactly how his Mama used to, the effort doesn’t go unappreciated.

He leans on you over the stove, arms wrapped about your middle, his head buried in your neck and kisses you all over.

You don’t even need words, really. You’re both just exhausted and soaking up the precious time of being in each others arms.

When you knock your head gently against his, he lets out the *biggest* ‘old man sigh’ and deflates against your back, holding you a little tighter.

He keeps kissing your neck, behind your ear, whispering in soft mumbles how grateful he is and how much he loves you.

You love him too, you tell him, stroking his hands that are laced on your tummy.

When the foods ready, you both collapse on his bed; half dressed, shoes vanquished, cassocks undone, shirts or pants off and flung away because clothes are really awful when you’re trying to get comfortable.

Eating makes you both feel a little better, a bit more awake enough to shower off the tiresome day.

You know Copia doesn’t talk much when he’s stressed, and he looks even more weary than normal.

When you reach out and stroke your thumb over his brow, across the creases of his forehead and down the side of his face, he offers you a weary smile and a slow blink of his beautiful eyes.

You coax him to move, pulling him up by both arms.

You shower together, nothing sexual, just relaxing and leaning on each other. Skin on skin, chest to chest, just breathing in sync for a while.

Eventually you lather up his freckled skin and let him wash your hair, trading slow kisses and nose nuzzles.

You both don’t even bother drying your hair fully once you’re done.

Copia air-dry’s while you open up the windows in his room and run a towel over yourself. It’s a bit stuffy in his room what with the humidity of summer finally making itself known.

And finally, finally you both collapse properly into bed as naked as the days you were born.

You sink into a mess of tangled limbs and sweet smelling skin, damp hair, soft pliable bodies and the physical comfort of each other.

You run your hand through his chest hair, wiping away the few jewels of dew that cling to his chest hair.

In the quiet comfort, he offers a few things he’s happy to do if you’re still up for anything. He likes to read to you in bed sometimes, or if you’re too tired, you watch him play games on his ancient games console.

But when you lift your head from his shoulder and look at him, the man is barely awake. He might as well be sleep talking.

Turning his face towards you, fingers caressing his jaw, you kiss the corner of his mouth and it gets him to smile sleepily. His white eye cracks open a little, full of love and affection.

He nuzzles his nose against your forehead and wraps his arms around you.

You don’t need anything else right now. Just him. Just knowing he’s comfortable and taken care of.

You fall asleep in each other’s arms, satisfied, with full bellies and fuller hearts.

[moonshynecybin]

who do you think would deal better with being isekai'd into omegaverse, marc or vale? alternatively which is more compelling

most beautiful ask. in the world. so funny. ummmm i think. vale is maybe more compelling because his issues with it would be. perhaps unsolvable and endlessly complex. guy who is a lil weird about gender, not terribly into the concept of marriage, and is pretty fundamentally adverse to being. shall we say emotionally legible/vulnerable. exposed. and omegaverse as a genre is all about exposure. its all. giving into the base instincts of your body and those same instincts giving you away to the object of your affections. its going into heat and the person youre in love with is the only one available to help you through it. its scenting someone and that being a crystal ball of their emotions and bodily state ESPECIALLY ie how much they want you specifically. its needing someone so bad you are literally insensate. its getting bonded 5ever and ever irrevocably, OFTEN in the heat of an instinctual moment without the relationship negotiation that happens irl. a genre centered around a betrayal of the body/heart to the mind, in many ways

now imagine you didnt actually grow UP in an omegaverse so you have no toolbox to DEAL with all that. sensory input off the SHITS. and. like suddenly and without WARNING now vale can feel in his CHEST exactly how distressed marc marquez is about every one of their interactions. and how much he wants his ass. like truly every part of his hind brain is like jesus christtttttt i should be inside him right tf now im a terrible alpha. and then the higher part of his brain is like what the fuck. what the fuck. i am not responsible for marc, what the fuck. and oh hey theres a bump on my penis i need to ask people about this right the hell now. thats vale. so i see this as a somewhat fraught comedy of sex errors where his ADHD ass is treading horny water trying to learn alpha manners and also. much more complexly. not fall into all of the traditional alpha expectations/roles. that little trap of gender. because at heart vale is a little trickster who loves to buck expectations!!! and maybe his journey here is realizing that he can just be himself comma sex freak. and that leaning into those "alpha" traits doesnt mean he is conforming lmao he can still have his own unique version of his family. learning the norms of a society and what makes sense to him and what still doesnt. sorting through the weeds of it. and that being vulnerable rules sometimes. and that marc loves him. because that last one is kind of hard to ignore now... again because of that emotional and physical vulnerability that comes with the genre... honestly him knowing all of that about marc without having to actually TALK about it may solve some of their problems tbh. like why work through all that verbally when you can sniff them and then fuck them. kind of the omegaverse fantasy in quite a few ways

marc. jeez louise. i think would HATE it more. at first. control freak 9000. maybe has to miss races for heats. suppressants arent legal. experiencing weird omega sexism if we want to go that route OR. my favorite. has been lying to the press about his status since he presented. tiniest 15 yr old youve ever seen: im an alpha ! :3 uh sure bud. sure. i bet. SO actually maybe he falls into a world where hes just been white-knuckling it for the last billion years during race weekends and most of the paddock kind of KNOW (scent blockers only go so far...) but are lowkey afraid to call him on it dlkjdfljldsfd... similar to vale in this scenario, he sort of has to learn how to omega— and when his heat hits during summer break and his ass start leaking in the middle of the spanish equivalent of walmart, he finds a psycho little ziploc bag of sweaty vale shirts under his bed and he genuinely is like girl what the hellllllllllll.... wiggin out. and his next heat he turns up to race with truly NO practice managing it all, so its way more obvious than normal and the farce is growing thinner and vale literally pulls him aside to be like hey are you GOOD ? but in that valentino not that i care about your ass kind of unspeakably divorced way and marc is like woag. bc a pheromone truck just ran him over. eyes glassy face flushed sweaty as hell mouth a little open.... and he opens his mouth to make an excuse and nothing comes... and then obviously they fuck like its the end of the WORLD

and like i DO think marc pulls out of it more cleanly than vale overall, bc something in HIS lizard brain would be deeply soothed by like. excelling at being an omega. getting an A + in being a bottom. doing that for vale, specifically in the context of pushing his body to the absolute LIMIT to do it.... hes locked in. its go time. and then theres the insane possibility of vale putting his mouth on his neck and them getting basically soulbonded forever where they have to have crazy sex every few months ? hes like ummmm okay. i could get used to this for a while lmao